HD202: Human Physical and Psychosocial Development

Growing Up in Filipino Families Angela Aida W. Halili-Jao, MD, FPPA, FPSCAP, FPCPsych.

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March 10, 2014

TOPIC OUTLINE I. II. The Filipino Family Filipino Parenting Styles A. Factors that shape parenting styles III. Families is Special Circumstances IV. A Reconfigured Filipino Family V. Cases and Impact of Reconfiguration
This trans is very wordy. All in Italics are said by the lecturer.

I. THE FILIPINO FAMILY The family as the basic unit of Philippine society is very significant to the Filipino. It demands his interest and loyalty more than any other institution in the larger society. Its influence is far reaching for it pervades every aspect of his life, be it social, political, religious or economic --Belen T. G. Medina, Professor of Sociology, UP The family unit would necessarily affect the Filipinos life as well. As a health professional, it is important to acquire an appreciation of the way that a Filipino family develops and consequently comes to influence the development of its members. In psychiatry Having this appreciation as part of your knowledge base as a medical student will serve to deepen your understanding of each patient that you encounter and will ultimately improve your skills as a physician. II. FILIPINO PARENTING STYLES Traditionally, Filipino parents were strict disciplinarians, but parenthood today is not the same as what it was a generation ago. Children have always been valued in the Filipino family for specific reasons. Parents play a crucial role in their children. Mothers and fathers traditionally take on specific roles in the care-giving of children. In general, child rearing among Filipinos is nurturant, affectionate, indulgent and supportive. Child-rearing may vary based on several factors. Every stage of a childs life brings on different characteristics and needs. Parenting therefore needs to be dynamic While one parenting style is effective for a particular child or stage of development, it may nor be effective for another. A. Factors that Shape Parenting Style Parents personality Goodness of fit within the parent-child relationship Other events or factors in the environment III. FAMILIES IN SPECIAL CIRCUMSTANCES Solo-Parent Families a. Widow/Widower and her/his children b. Single parent and adopted children c. Separated parent and children d. Unwed woman and her children e. Mistress and her children by a married man 2. Families with adopted children 3. Military Families

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Reasons for separation: Divorce Legal separation Annulment of marriage Abandonment Estrangement Temporary absence o OFW Carlos A., Andrew, Jules

IV. A RECONFIGURED FILIPINO FAMILY There can be no denying that the diaspora might help to ease the poverty. But there is concern, too, of how much of a difference all those remittances will make in the long term. The Asian Development Bank has already noted how the overseas workers money are creating cycles of dependency for those left behind, with entire clans depending on the labor of a few relatives working abroad. With the dollars coming in, there is less incentive for those left behind to find work. There are concerns as well of how the remittances can corrupt people left behind, particularly adolescent children. With larger allowances than classmates who have no relatives working overseas, children of OFWs have acquired notoriety for profligate spending habits. And while the money flows in creating a better life for the young, there is concern about one or both parents missing. Proponents of labor export will argue that we have an extended family system so there will always be people to care for the children of migrant workers. Certainly, we see families becoming more extended in the next few years, partly because it has become too expensive, especially in urban areas, to maintain separate households. These extended households mean more people who can help as surrogate parents when someone has to leave and work in the big city, or overseas. We are already seeing this development reflected in kinship terms with many grandparents, uncles and aunts, even household help now called Mama and Papa because they have assumed those roles. But beneath those changes in kinship terms are very real questions about how the members of the next generation of Filipinos are forming their identities today and how they look at the future. There are many urban poor households where the grandparents, who are acting as surrogate parents, will urge their grandchildren to study hard by pointing to a photograph of absent parents: Mag-aral ka, para maka-abroad kayo, parang si tatay at nanay (Study, so you can go and work abroad, like your father and mother.) We forget that we have living examples of how migratory work can disrupt family life and create serious social problems. For decades now, young rural Filipinas have been migrating in large numbers to the cities to work as domestic helpers. There, they are easily seduced by urban-bred males, as well as by rural men who have become city-smart. The family driver, the houseboy, the security guard, the construction worker they all represent a better life so an often brief courtship leads to a pregnancy, and the male disappears. The baby is shipped back to the provinces, to be cared for by the grandparents. The domestic helper is now wiser, but this does not necessarily mean she will take precautions about pregnancies. More babies will follow, by different men, and the lesson she picks up is that she won't need those men anyway. She leads her own life, her kids raised by the grandparents. And when the children grow up, she goes home and brings them back to the city. Page 1 of 2

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The relationship of the children with the returning mother will be strained. There are new problems of errant sons and daughters again with early pregnancies. Guess who cares for this next generation? We will see more of these generational cycles being repeated. Lessons are not learned; instead, we come to accept these new family arrangements as inevitable. The last time we had a national census, about 11 percent of households were headed by single mothers. Probably the actual figure was higher, given that some of the women were in temporary arrangements with a male partner. V. CASES AND IMPACT OF RECONFIGURATION The reconfiguration of the Filipino family will be complicated, involving a major revamp of roles and statuses. SEAFARERS o About 250,000 deployed overseas, one can expent almost as many Filipino households managed by women. o Clients who are wives of the seafarers tend to seek psychiatric help when husbands are about to come home. Used to running household alone, they fear the new demands made by the returning husband from running the household like was his ship to rush to gawa baby (make another child). Dr. H. Espaola, psychiatrist in Ilioilo City, known for large numbers of seafarers. Here at home, internal migration has created its own new family dynamics. WOMEN AS FACTORY WORKERS o In a small town in Batangas, many women had taken up jobs as factory workers. The result: emergence of HOUSEHUSBANDS, not always with satisfactory results given that family structures have not adjusted to training men to assume domestic responsibilities. o This is based on the doctoral dissertation of the UP anthropology professor Soledad Dalisay. Feminization of labor in general poses new challenges to our family rearing cultures. We still tend to pamper our males, and unfortunately, as more women work, this may not be accompanied by a growth in male responsibility. The strains on women will increase, affecting family life sometimes with new twists to the problems. For example, women working outside the home, and especially overseas, have been known to develop strong guilt feelings about having left children behind. To compensate, they may become lax with allowances, especially for sons. The consequences are predictable: a new generation of spoiled men, who may in fact end up looking for wives who can support them by working overseas. Already, some of the most heartbreaking stories from overseas Filipina workers revolve around the way their husbands squander the money they send home. FILIPINA MAID IN HONGKONG o A few years ago, one Filipina maid in Hong Kong disclosed, with anger in her voice: "I slave away here as a maid, and he uses the money I send home to f--k our maid." The possibilities of extramarital relationships increase, both for those left behind, and those who leave. Changing gender roles also mean that the cat and mouse will both play: if the male is unfaithful, then women feel they, too, are entitled to extramarital liaisons. One of the greatest fears that Filipino seafarers have is that the wife they left behind may be having extramarital relationships. Carlos A., Andrew, Jules

Growing Up in Filipino Families

HD 202

SEAFARERS WIFE o A government clerk who happens to be a seafarer's wife said, "My husband's salary is more than enough for our needs, but he insists I work because he's afraid if I don't, then I'll spend all my time in the malls, and will get seduced by some young man." The husband's fears are not unfounded; gigolos are known to roam the malls, adept at identifying lonely seafarers' wives. The deterioration of family planning services aggravates the problems. In the last five years, family planning usage has hovered at around 49 percent of women, about a third of them using unreliable methods such as withdrawal. The unmet need for family planning is highest among the poorest Filipinos: the 2003 National Demographic Survey found that on average, the poorest 20 percent want 3.8 children but end up with six. Compare that with the richest 20 percent, who have on average about two children, only slightly higher than a desired fertility rate of about 1.7. Young marriages continue to be the norm for the poor, the median age of marriage for the poorest 20 percent being 19.7 years, compared to 24.6 for the richest 20 percent. By the age of 19, one out of every five Filipinas is already bearing children. For all the declarations of large joyful Filipino families, there are larger and larger numbers of households where the male has absconded, or where one parent has had to work elsewhere, often in places thousands of miles away from home. Then there are the exhortations to care for the young and the elderly; in fact, religious conservatives warn that family planning will result in a demographic winter, where we will have many elderly with no young to care for them. But Dr. Mercedes Concepcion, an expert demographer, refuted this in a conference showing that with current rates of family planning, we will not have a demographic winter until about 75 years from now.

The bigger question that looms, though, is this: even today, where the elderly constitute only about six percent of the population, we already see many of them neglected, fending for themselves. Where are their children? They're working overseas. The Filipino family, we try to comfort ourselves, is resilient, and will survive. There is no doubt about that, but we need to ask what the costs will be, into 2010 and beyond. --Michael L. Tan, medical anthropologist, chair of the anthropology department, UPD, op-ed column writer, "Pinoy Kasi," for the Philippine Daily Inquirer. ---End of Transcription--Carlos:
Hey 2018! Woohoo final trans na namin for realz!!! Hello sa MSS mems! #WeCan!!!! Sana sumali na ring MSS yung iba para one big 2018 family na tayo :> Hello sa mga luma at bagong seatmates ko Alam kong na-shock kayo sa presence ko pero ganun eh :> Hello din sa brod kong si Josept! Masyadong wild yung buhok mo.

Andrew/Cham: Rock on! \m/ Ang saya ng LU-3! Love you all! Four more years to go! Push! One eight, dominate! Jules:

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