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First published by The Writers Coffee Shop, 2011
Copyright E L Jaes, 2011
The right of E L Jaes to be ide!tified as the author of this "or# has bee! asserted by her
u!der the Copyright Amendment (Moral Rights) Act 2000
This "or# is $opyright% &part fro a!y use as peritted u!der the Copyright &$t 1'(), !o
part aybe reprodu$ed, $opied, s$a!!ed, stored i! a retrie*al syste, re$orded or tra!sitted, i!
a!y for or by a!y ea!s, "ithout the prior "ritte! perissio! of the publisher%
This boo# is a "or# of fi$tio!% +aes, $hara$ters, pla$es a!d i!$ide!ts are either a produ$t of
the authors iagi!atio! or are used fi$titiously% &!y resebla!$e to a$tual people li*i!g or dead,
e*e!ts or lo$ales is e!tirely $oi!$ide!tal%
The Writers Coffee Shop
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E9boo# 8S0+9'7)919(1212902'92
& C8. $atalogue re$ord for this boo# is a*ailable fro the 5S Co!gress Library%
Co*er iage by: .apuga200( ; <reastie%$o
Co*er desig! by: Je!!ifer =$>uire
"""%the"riters$offeeshop%$o?e@aes
E L Jaes is a TA e1e$uti*e, "ife, a!d other of t"o, based i! West Lo!do!% Si!$e early
$hildhood, she dreat of "riti!g stories that readers "ould fall i! lo*e "ith, but put those dreas
o! hold to fo$us o! her faily a!d her $areer% She fi!ally plu$#ed up the $ourage to put pe! to paper
"ith her first !o*el, Fifty Shades of >rey%
E L Jaes is $urre!tly "or#i!g o! the seBuel to Fifty Shades of >rey a!d a !e" roa!ti$
thriller "ith a super!atural t"ist%
8 a i!debted to the follo"i!g people for their help a!d support: To y husba!d +iall C tha!#
you for tolerati!g y obsessio!, bei!g a doesti$ god a!d doi!g the first edit%
To y boss Lisa C tha!# you for putti!g up "ith e o*er the last year or so "hile 8 i!dulged
i! this ad!ess%
To CCL C 8ll !e*er tell but tha!# you%
To the origi!al bu!#er babes C tha!# you for your frie!dship a!d $o!sta!t support%
To SD C tha!# you for all the helpful ad*i$e fro the start a!d for goi!g first%
To Sue C tha!#s for sorti!g e out%
To &a!da a!d all at TWCS C tha!# you for ta#i!g a pu!t%
8 s$o"l "ith frustratio! at yself i! the irror% <a! y hair C it @ust "o!t beha*e, a!d
da! Eatheri!e Ea*a!agh for bei!g ill a!d sub@e$ti!g e to this ordeal% 8 should be studyi!g for
y fi!al e1as, "hi$h are !e1t "ee#, yet here 8 a tryi!g to brush y hair i!to subissio!% I must
not sleep with it wet. I must not sleep with it wet. De$iti!g this a!tra se*eral ties, 8 attept,
o!$e ore, to bri!g it u!der $o!trol "ith the brush% 8 roll y eyes i! e1asperatio! a!d gaFe at the
pale, bro"!9haired girl "ith blue eyes too big for her fa$e stari!g ba$# at e, a!d gi*e up% =y o!ly
optio! is to restrai! y "ay"ard hair i! a po!ytail a!d hope that 8 loo# sei prese!table%
Eate is y rooate, a!d she has $hose! today of all days to su$$ub to the flu%
Therefore, she $a!!ot atte!d the i!ter*ie" shed arra!ged to do, "ith soe ega9i!dustri9alist
ty$oo! 8*e !e*er heard of, for the stude!t !e"spaper% So 8 ha*e bee! *olu!teered% 8 ha*e fi!al
e1as to $ra for, o!e essay to fi!ish, a!d 8 supposed to be "or#i!g this after!oo!, but !o C
today 8 ha*e to dri*e a hu!dred a!d si1ty9fi*e iles to do"!to"! Seattle i! order to eet the
e!igati$ CE/ of >rey E!terprises 3oldi!gs 8!$% &s a! e1$eptio!al e!trepre!eur a!d a@or
be!efa$tor of our 5!i*ersity, his tie is e1traordi!arily pre$ious
C u$h ore pre$ious tha! i!e C but he has gra!ted Eate a! i!ter*ie"% & real $oup, she tells
e% <a! her e1tra9$urri$ular a$ti*ities%
Eate is huddled o! the $ou$h i! the li*i!g roo%
G&!a, 8 sorry% 8t too# e !i!e o!ths to get this i!ter*ie"% 8t "ill ta#e a!other si1 to
res$hedule, a!d "ell both ha*e graduated by the!% &s the editor, 8 $a!t blo" this off% .lease,H Eate
begs e i! her raspi!g, sore throat *oi$e% 3o" does she do itI E*e! ill she loo#s gai!e a!d
gorgeous, stra"berry blo!de hair i! pla$e a!d gree! eyes bright, although !o" red9ried a!d
ru!!y% 8 ig!ore y pa!g of u!"el$oe sypathy%
G/f $ourse 8ll go Eate% Jou should get ba$# to bed% Would you li#e soe +yBuil or
Tyle!olIH
G+yBuil, please% 3ere are the Buestio!s a!d y i!i9dis$ re$order% Just press re$ord here%
=a#e !otes, 8ll tra!s$ribe it all%H
G8 #!o" !othi!g about hi,H 8 urur, tryi!g a!d faili!g to suppress y risi!g pa!i$%
GThe Buestio!s "ill see you through% >o% 8ts a lo!g dri*e% 8 do!t "a!t you to be late%H
G/#ay, 8 goi!g% >et ba$# to bed% 8 ade you soe soup to heat up later%H 8 stare at her
fo!dly% Only for you !ate would I do this.
G8 "ill% >ood lu$#% &!d tha!#s &!a C as usual, youre y lifesa*er%H
>atheri!g y sat$hel, 8 sile "ryly at her, the! head out the door to the $ar% 8 $a!!ot belie*e 8
ha*e let Eate tal# e i!to this% 0ut the! Eate $a! tal# a!yo!e i!to a!ythi!g%
Shell a#e a! e1$eptio!al @our!alist% Shes arti$ulate, stro!g, persuasi*e, argue!tati*e,
beautiful C a!d shes y dearest, dearest frie!d%
The roads are $lear as 8 set off fro Aa!$ou*er, W& to"ard .ortla!d a!d the 894% 8ts early,
a!d 8 do!t ha*e to be i! Seattle u!til t"o this after!oo!% Fortu!ately, Eates le!t e her sporty
=er$edes CLE% 8 !ot sure Wa!da, y old AW 0eetle, "ould a#e the @our!ey i! tie% /h, the
=er$ is a fu! dri*e, a!d the iles slip a"ay as 8 floor the pedal to the etal%
=y desti!atio! is the headBuarters of =r% >reys global e!terprise% 8ts a huge t"e!ty9story
offi$e buildi!g, all $ur*ed glass a!d steel, a! ar$hite$ts utilitaria! fa!tasy, "ith >rey 3ouse "ritte!
dis$reetly i! steel o*er the glass fro!t doors% 8ts a Buarter to t"o "he! 8 arri*e, greatly relie*ed that
8 !ot late as 8 "al# i!to the e!orous C a!d fra!#ly i!tiidati!g C glass, steel, a!d "hite
sa!dsto!e lobby%
0ehi!d the solid sa!dsto!e des#, a *ery attra$ti*e, grooed, blo!de you!g "oa! siles
pleasa!tly at e% Shes "eari!g the sharpest $har$oal suit @a$#et a!d "hite shirt 8 ha*e e*er see!%
She loo#s ia$ulate%
G8 here to see =r% >rey% &!astasia Steele for Eatheri!e Ea*a!agh%H
GE1$use e o!e oe!t, =iss Steele%H She ar$hes her eyebro" slightly as 8 sta!d self9
$o!s$iously before her% 8 a begi!!i!g to "ish 8d borro"ed o!e of Eates foral blaFers rather
tha! "ear y !a*y blue @a$#et% 8 ha*e ade a! effort a!d "or! y o!e a!d o!ly s#irt, y se!sible
bro"! #!ee9le!gth boots a!d a blue s"eater% For e, this is sart% 8 tu$# o!e of the es$aped te!drils
of y hair behi!d y ear as 8 prete!d she does!t i!tiidate e%
G=iss Ea*a!agh is e1pe$ted% .lease sig! i! here, =iss Steele% Joull "a!t the last ele*ator o!
the right, press for the t"e!tieth floor%H She siles #i!dly at e, aused !o doubt, as 8 sig! i!%
She ha!ds e a se$urity pass that has A8S8T/D *ery firly staped o! the fro!t% 8 $a!t help
y sir#% Surely its ob*ious that 8 @ust *isiti!g% 8 do!t fit i! here at all%
"othing changes 8 i!"ardly sigh% Tha!#i!g her, 8 "al# o*er to the ba!# of ele*ators past the
t"o se$urity e! "ho are both far ore sartly dressed tha! 8 a i! their "ell9$ut bla$# suits%
The ele*ator "his#s e "ith teri!al *elo$ity to the t"e!tieth floor% The doors slide ope!,
a!d 8 i! a!other large lobby C agai! all glass, steel, a!d "hite sa!dsto!e% 8 $o!fro!ted by
a!other des# of sa!dsto!e a!d a!other you!g blo!de "oa! dressed ipe$$ably i! bla$# a!d "hite
"ho rises to greet e%
G=iss Steele, $ould you "ait here, pleaseIH She poi!ts to a seated area of "hite leather $hairs%
0ehi!d the leather $hairs is a spa$ious glass9"alled eeti!g roo "ith a! eBually spa$ious
dar# "ood table a!d at least t"e!ty at$hi!g $hairs arou!d it% 0eyo!d that, there is a floor9to9
$eili!g "i!do" "ith a *ie" of the Seattle s#yli!e that loo#s out through the $ity to"ard the Sou!d%
8ts a stu!!i!g *ista, a!d 8 oe!tarily paralyFed by the *ie"% #ow.
8 sit do"!, fish the Buestio!s fro y sat$hel, a!d go through the, i!"ardly $urs9i!g Eate
for !ot pro*idi!g e "ith a brief biography% 8 #!o" !othi!g about this a! 8 about to i!ter*ie"%
3e $ould be !i!ety or he $ould be thirty% The u!$ertai!ty is galli!g, a!d y !er*es resurfa$e,
a#i!g e fidget% 8*e !e*er bee! $ofortable "ith o!e9o!9o!e i!ter*ie"s, preferri!g the
a!o!yity of a group dis$ussio! "here 8 $a! sit i!$o!spi$uously at the ba$# of the roo% To be
ho!est, 8 prefer y o"! $opa!y, readi!g a $lassi$ 0ritish !o*el, $urled up i! a $hair i! the $apus
library% +ot sitti!g t"it$hi!g !er*ously i! a $olos9sal glass a!d sto!e edifi$e%
8 roll y eyes at yself% $et a grip %teele. Judgi!g fro the buildi!g, "hi$h is too $li!i$al
a!d oder!, 8 guess >rey is i! his forties: fit, ta!!ed, a!d fair9haired to at$h the rest of the
perso!!el%
&!other elega!t, fla"lessly dressed blo!de $oes out of a large door to the right% What is it
"ith all the ia$ulate blo!desI 8ts li#e Stepford here% Ta#i!g a deep breath, 8 sta!d up% G=iss
SteeleIH the latest blo!de as#s%
GJes,H 8 $roa#, a!d $lear y throat% GJes%H There, that sou!ded ore $o!fide!t%
G=r% >rey "ill see you i! a oe!t% =ay 8 ta#e your @a$#etIH
G/h please%H 8 struggle out of the @a$#et%
G3a*e you bee! offered a!y refreshe!tIH
G5 C !o%H /h dear, is 0lo!de +uber /!e i! troubleI
0lo!de +uber T"o fro"!s a!d eyes the you!g "oa! at the des#%
GWould you li#e tea, $offee, "aterIH she as#s, tur!i!g her atte!tio! ba$# to e%
G& glass of "ater% Tha!# you,H 8 urur%
G/li*ia, please fet$h =iss Steele a glass of "ater%H 3er *oi$e is ster!% /li*ia s$oots up
iediately a!d s$urries to a door o! the other side of the foyer%
G=y apologies, =iss Steele, /li*ia is our !e" i!ter!% .lease be seated% =r% >rey "ill be
a!other fi*e i!utes%H
/li*ia retur!s "ith a glass of i$ed "ater%
G3ere you go, =iss Steele%H
GTha!# you%H
0lo!de +uber T"o ar$hes o*er to the large des#, her heels $li$#i!g a!d e$hoi!g o! the
sa!dsto!e floor% She sits do"!, a!d they both $o!ti!ue their "or#%
.erhaps =r% >rey i!sists o! all his eployees bei!g blo!de% 8 "o!deri!g idly if thats legal,
"he! the offi$e door ope!s a!d a tall, elega!tly dressed, attra$ti*e &fri$a!9&eri$a! a! "ith
short dreads e1its% 8 ha*e defi!itely "or! the "ro!g $lothes%
3e tur!s a!d says through the door% G>olf, this "ee#, >rey%H
8 do!t hear the reply% 3e tur!s, sees e, a!d siles, his dar# eyes $ri!#li!g at the $or!ers%
/li*ia has @uped up a!d $alled the ele*ator% She sees to e1$el at @upi!g fro her seat% Shes
ore !er*ous tha! eK
G>ood after!oo! ladies,H he says as he departs through the slidi!g door%
G=r% >rey "ill see you !o", =iss Steele% <o go through,H 0lo!de +uber T"o says%
8 sta!d rather sha#ily tryi!g to suppress y !er*es% >atheri!g up y sat$hel, 8 aba!do! y
glass of "ater a!d a#e y "ay to the partially ope! door%
GJou do!t !eed to #!o$# C @ust go i!%H She siles #i!dly%
8 push ope! the door a!d stuble through, trippi!g o*er y o"! feet, a!d falli!g head first
i!to the offi$e%
<ouble $rap C e a!d y t"o left feetK 8 a o! y ha!ds a!d #!ees i! the door"ay to =r%
>reys offi$e, a!d ge!tle ha!ds are arou!d e helpi!g e to sta!d% 8 a so ebarrassed, da! y
$lusi!ess% 8 ha*e to steel yself to gla!$e up% 3oly $o" C hes so you!g%
G=iss Ea*a!agh%H 3e e1te!ds a lo!g9fi!gered ha!d to e o!$e 8 upright% G8 Christia!
>rey% &re you all rightI Would you li#e to sitIH
So you!g C a!d attra$ti*e, *ery attra$ti*e% 3es tall, dressed i! a fi!e gray suit, "hite shirt, a!d
bla$# tie "ith u!ruly dar# $opper $olored hair a!d i!te!se, bright gray eyes that regard e
shre"dly% 8t ta#es a oe!t for e to fi!d y *oi$e%
G5% &$tuallyCH 8 utter% 8f this guy is o*er thirty the! 8 a o!#eys u!$le% 8! a daFe, 8
pla$e y ha!d i! his a!d "e sha#e% &s our fi!gers tou$h, 8 feel a! odd e1hilarati!g shi*er ru!
through e% 8 "ithdra" y ha!d hastily, ebarrassed% =ust be stati$% 8 bli!# rapidly, y eyelids
at$hi!g y heart rate%
G=iss Ea*a!agh is i!disposed, so she se!t e% 8 hope you do!t i!d, =r% >rey%H
G&!d you areIH 3is *oi$e is "ar, possibly aused, but its diffi$ult to tell fro his
ipassi*e e1pressio!% 3e loo#s ildly i!terested, but abo*e all, polite%
G&!astasia Steele% 8 studyi!g E!glish Literature "ith Eate, uL Eatheri!eL
uL =iss Ea*a!agh at Washi!gto! State%H
G8 see,H he says siply% 8 thi!# 8 see the ghost of a sile i! his e1pressio!, but 8 !ot sure%
GWould you li#e to sitIH 3e "a*es e to"ard a "hite leather butto!ed L9shaped $ou$h%
3is offi$e is "ay too big for @ust o!e a!% 8! fro!t of the floor9to9$eili!g "i!do"s, theres a
huge oder! dar#9"ood des# that si1 people $ould $ofortably eat arou!d% 8t at$hes the $offee
table by the $ou$h% E*erythi!g else is "hite C $eili!g, floors, a!d "alls e1$ept, o! the "all by the
door, "here a osai$ of sall pai!ti!gs ha!g, thirty9si1 of the arra!ged i! a sBuare% They are
e1Buisite C a series of u!da!e, forgotte! ob@e$ts pai!ted i! su$h pre$ise detail they loo# li#e
photographs% <isplayed together, they are breathta#i!g%
G& lo$al artist% Trouto!,H says >rey "he! he $at$hes y gaFe%
GTheyre lo*ely% Daisi!g the ordi!ary to e1traordi!ary,H 8 urur, distra$ted both by hi a!d
the pai!ti!gs% 3e $o$#s his head to o!e side a!d regards e i!te!tly%
G8 $ould!t agree ore, =iss Steele,H he replies, his *oi$e soft a!d for soe i!e1pli$able
reaso! 8 fi!d yself blushi!g%
&part fro the pai!ti!gs, the rest of the offi$e is $old, $lea!, a!d $li!i$al% 8 "o!der if it
refle$ts the perso!ality of the &do!is "ho si!#s gra$efully i!to o!e of the "hite leather $hairs
opposite e% 8 sha#e y head, disturbed at the dire$tio! of y thoughts, a!d retrie*e Eates
Buestio!s fro y sat$hel% +e1t, 8 set up the i!i9dis$ re$order a!d a all fi!gers a!d thubs,
droppi!g it t"i$e o! the $offee table i! fro!t of e% =r% >rey says !othi!g, "aiti!g patie!tly C 8
hope C as 8 be$oe i!$reasi!gly ebarrassed a!d flustered% Whe! 8 plu$# up the $ourage to loo# at
hi, hes "at$hi!g e, o!e ha!d rela1ed i! his lap a!d the other $uppi!g his $hi! a!d traili!g his
lo!g i!de1 fi!ger a$ross his lips% 8 thi!# hes tryi!g to suppress a sile%
GSorry,H 8 stutter% G8 !ot used to this%H
GTa#e all the tie you !eed, =iss Steele,H he says%
G<o you i!d if 8 re$ord your a!s"ersIH
G&fter you*e ta#e! so u$h trouble to set up the re$order C you as# e !o"IH
8 flush% 3es teasi!g eI 8 hope% 8 bli!# at hi, u!sure "hat to say, a!d 8 thi!# he ta#es pity
o! e be$ause he rele!ts% G+o, 8 do!t i!d%H
G<id Eate, 8 ea!, =iss Ea*a!agh, e1plai! "hat the i!ter*ie" "as forIH
GJes% To appear i! the graduatio! issue of the stude!t !e"spaper as 8 shall be $o!ferri!g the
degrees at this years graduatio! $ereo!y%H
Oh& This is !e"s to e, a!d 8 teporarily pre9o$$upied by the thought that soeo!e !ot
u$h older tha! e C o#ay, aybe si1 years or so, a!d o#ay, ega su$$essful, but still C is goi!g to
prese!t e "ith y degree% 8 fro"!, draggi!g y "ay"ard atte!tio! ba$# to the tas# at ha!d%
G>ood,H 8 s"allo" !er*ously% G8 ha*e soe Buestio!s, =r% >rey%H 8 sooth a stray lo$# of hair
behi!d y ear%
G8 thought you ight,H he says, deadpa!% 3es laughi!g at e% =y $hee#s heat at the
realiFatio!, a!d 8 sit up a!d sBuare y shoulders i! a! attept to loo# taller a!d ore i!tiidati!g%
.ressi!g the start butto! o! the re$order, 8 try to loo# professio!al%
GJoure *ery you!g to ha*e aassed su$h a! epire% To "hat do you o"e your su$$essIH 8
gla!$e up at hi% 3is sile is rueful, but he loo#s *aguely disappoi!ted%
G0usi!ess is all about people, =iss Steele, a!d 8 *ery good at @udgi!g people% 8 #!o" ho"
they ti$#, "hat a#es the flourish, "hat does!t, "hat i!spires the, a!d ho" to i!$e!ti*iFe the%
8 eploy a! e1$eptio!al tea, a!d 8 re"ard the "ell%H 3e pauses a!d fi1es e "ith his gray stare%
G=y belief is to a$hie*e su$$ess i! a!y s$hee o!e has to a#e o!eself aster of that s$hee,
#!o" it i!side a!d out, #!o" e*ery detail% 8 "or# hard, *ery hard to do that% 8 a#e de$isio!s based
o! logi$ a!d fa$ts% 8 ha*e a !atural gut i!sti!$t that $a! spot a!d !urture a good solid idea a!d good
people% The botto li!e is, its al"ays do"! to good people%H
G=aybe youre @ust lu$#y%H This is!t o! Eates list C but hes so arroga!t% 3is eyes flare
oe!tarily i! surprise%
G8 do!t subs$ribe to lu$# or $ha!$e, =iss Steele% The harder 8 "or# the ore lu$# 8 see to
ha*e% 8t really is all about ha*i!g the right people o! your tea a!d dire$ti!g their e!ergies
a$$ordi!gly% 8 thi!# it "as 3ar*ey Firesto!e "ho said Mthe gro"th a!d de*elop9e!t of people is the
highest $alli!g of leadership%H
GJou sou!d li#e a $o!trol frea#%H The "ords are out of y outh before 8 $a! stop the%G/h,
8 e1er$ise $o!trol i! all thi!gs, =iss Steele,H he says "ithout a tra$e of huor i! his sile% 8 loo# at
hi, a!d he holds y gaFe steadily, ipassi*e% =y heartbeat Bui$#e!s, a!d y fa$e flushes agai!%
Why does he ha*e su$h a! u!!er*i!g effe$t o! eI 3is o*er"heli!g good9loo#s aybeI
The "ay his eyes blaFe at eI The "ay he stro#es his i!de1 fi!ger agai!st his lo"er lipI 8 "ish
hed stop doi!g that%
G0esides, ie!se po"er is a$Buired by assuri!g yourself i! your se$ret re*eries that you
"ere bor! to $o!trol thi!gs,H he $o!ti!ues, his *oi$e soft%
G<o you feel that you ha*e ie!se po"erIH Control 'rea(.
G8 eploy o*er forty thousa!d people, =iss Steele% That gi*es e a $ertai! se!se of
respo!sibility C po"er, if you "ill% 8f 8 "ere to de$ide 8 "as !o lo!ger i!terested i! the
tele$ou!i$atio!s busi!ess a!d sell up, t"e!ty thousa!d people "ould struggle to a#e their
ortgage paye!ts after a o!th or so%H
=y outh drops ope!% 8 a staggered by his la$# of huility%
G<o!t you ha*e a board to a!s"er toIH 8 as#, disgusted%
G8 o"! y $opa!y% 8 do!t ha*e to a!s"er to a board%H 3e raises a! eyebro" at e%
8 flush% /f $ourse, 8 "ould #!o" this if 8 had do!e soe resear$h% 0ut holy $rap, hes so
arroga!t% 8 $ha!ge ta$#%
G&!d do you ha*e a!y i!terests outside your "or#IH
G8 ha*e *aried i!terests, =iss Steele%H & ghost of a sile tou$hes his lips% GAery *aried%H &!d
for soe reaso!, 8 $o!fou!ded a!d heated by his steady gaFe% 3is eyes are alight "ith soe
"i$#ed thought%
G0ut if you "or# so hard, "hat do you do to $hill outIH
GChill outIH 3e siles, re*eali!g perfe$t "hite teeth% 8 stop breathi!g% 3e really is beautiful%
+o o!e should be this good9loo#i!g%
GWell, to M$hill out as you put it C 8 sail, 8 fly, 8 i!dulge i! *arious physi$al pursuits%H
3e shifts i! his $hair% G8 a *ery "ealthy a!, =iss Steele, a!d 8 ha*e e1pe!si*e a!d
absorbi!g hobbies%H
8 gla!$e Bui$#ly at Eates Buestio!s, "a!ti!g to get off this sub@e$t%
GJou i!*est i! a!ufa$turi!g% Why, spe$ifi$allyIH 8 as#% Why does he a#e e so
u!$ofortableI
G8 li#e to build thi!gs% 8 li#e to #!o" ho" thi!gs "or#: "hat a#es thi!gs ti$#, ho" to
$o!stru$t a!d de$o!stru$t% &!d 8 ha*e a lo*e of ships% What $a! 8 sayIH
GThat sou!ds li#e your heart tal#i!g rather tha! logi$ a!d fa$ts%H
3is outh Buir#s up, a!d he stares appraisi!gly at e%
G.ossibly% Though there are people "hod say 8 do!t ha*e a heart%H
GWhy "ould they say thatIH
G0e$ause they #!o" e "ell%H 3is lip $urls i! a "ry sile%
GWould your frie!ds say youre easy to get to #!o"IH &!d 8 regret the Buestio! as soo! as 8
say it% 8ts !ot o! Eates list%
G8 a *ery pri*ate perso!, =iss Steele% 8 go a lo!g "ay to prote$t y pri*a$y% 8 do!t ofte!
gi*e i!ter*ie"s,H he trails off%
GWhy did you agree to do this o!eIH
G0e$ause 8 a be!efa$tor of the 5!i*ersity, a!d for all i!te!ts a!d purposes, 8 $ould!t get
=iss Ea*a!agh off y ba$#% She badgered a!d badgered y .D people, a!d 8 adire that #i!d of
te!a$ity%H
8 #!o" ho" te!a$ious Eate $a! be% Thats "hy 8 sitti!g here sBuiri!g u!$ofortably
u!der his pe!etrati!g gaFe, "he! 8 should be studyi!g for y e1as%
GJou also i!*est i! fari!g te$h!ologies% Why are you i!terested i! this areaIH
GWe $a!t eat o!ey, =iss Steele, a!d there are too a!y people o! this pla!et "ho do!t
ha*e e!ough to eat%H
GThat sou!ds *ery phila!thropi$% 8s it soethi!g you feel passio!ately aboutI Feedi!g the
"orlds poorIH
3e shrugs, *ery !o!9$oittal%
G8ts shre"d busi!ess,H he ururs, though 8 thi!# hes bei!g disi!ge!uous% 8t does!t a#e
se!se C feedi!g the "orlds poorI 8 $a!t see the fi!a!$ial be!efits of this, o!ly the *irtue of the
ideal% 8 gla!$e at the !e1t Buestio!, $o!fused by his attitude%
G<o you ha*e a philosophyI 8f so, "hat is itIH
G8 do!t ha*e a philosophy as su$h% =aybe a guidi!g pri!$iple C Car!egies: M& a! "ho
a$Buires the ability to ta#e full possessio! of his o"! i!d ay ta#e possessio! of a!ythi!g else to
"hi$h he is @ustly e!titled% 8 *ery si!gular, dri*e!% 8 li#e $o!trol C of yself a!d those arou!d
e%H
GSo you "a!t to possess thi!gsIH )ou are a control frea(.
G8 "a!t to deser*e to possess the, but yes, botto li!e, 8 do%H
GJou sou!d li#e the ultiate $o!suer%H
G8 a%H 3e siles, but the sile does!t tou$h his eyes% &gai! this is at odds "ith soeo!e
"ho "a!ts to feed the "orld, so 8 $a!t help thi!#i!g that "ere tal#i!g about soethi!g else, but
8 absolutely ystified as to "hat it is% 8 s"allo" hard% The teperature i! the roo is risi!g or
aybe its @ust e% 8 @ust "a!t this i!ter*ie" to be o*er% Surely Eate has e!ough aterial !o"I 8
gla!$e at the !e1t Buestio!%
GJou "ere adopted% 3o" far do you thi!# thats shaped the "ay you areIH /h, this is
perso!al% 8 stare at hi, hopi!g hes !ot offe!ded% 3is bro" furro"s%
G8 ha*e !o "ay of #!o"i!g%H
=y i!terest is piBued%
G3o" old "ere you "he! you "ere adoptedIH
GThats a atter of publi$ re$ord, =iss Steele%H 3is to!e is ster!% 8 flush, agai!% Crap.
Jes of $ourse C if 8d #!o"! 8 "as doi!g this i!ter*ie", 8 "ould ha*e do!e soe resear$h%
8 o*e o! Bui$#ly%
GJou*e had to sa$rifi$e a faily life for your "or#%H
GThats !ot a Buestio!%H 3es terse%
GSorry%H 8 sBuir, a!d hes ade e feel li#e a! erra!t $hild% 8 try agai!% G3a*e you had to
sa$rifi$e a faily life for your "or#IH
G8 ha*e a faily% 8 ha*e a brother a!d a sister a!d t"o lo*i!g pare!ts% 8 !ot i!terested i!
e1te!di!g y faily beyo!d that%H
G&re you gay, =r% >reyIH
3e i!hales sharply, a!d 8 $ri!ge, ortified% Crap. Why did!t 8 eploy soe #i!d of filter
before 8 read this straight outI 3o" $a! 8 tell hi 8 @ust readi!g the Buestio!sI
<a! Eate a!d her $uriosityK
G+o &!astasia, 8 !ot%H 3e raises his eyebro"s, a $ool glea i! his eyes% 3e does !ot loo#
pleased%
G8 apologiFe% 8ts uL "ritte! here%H 8ts the first tie hes said y !ae% =y heartbeat has
a$$elerated, a!d y $hee#s are heati!g up agai!% +er*ously, 8 tu$# y loose!ed hair behi!d y ear%
3e $o$#s his head to o!e side%
GThese are!t your o"! Buestio!sIH
The blood drai!s fro y head% Oh no.
GErrL !o% Eate C =iss Ea*a!agh C she $opiled the Buestio!s%H
G&re you $olleagues o! the stude!t paperIH Oh crap. 8 ha*e !othi!g to do "ith the stude!t
paper% 8ts her e1tra9$urri$ular a$ti*ity, !ot i!e% =y fa$e is aflae%
G+o% Shes y rooate%H
3e rubs his $hi! i! Buiet deliberatio!, his gray eyes appraisi!g e%
G<id you *olu!teer to do this i!ter*ie"IH he as#s, his *oi$e deadly Buiet%
3a!g o!, "hos supposed to be i!ter*ie"i!g "hoI 3is eyes bur! i!to e, a!d 8
$opelled to a!s"er "ith the truth%
G8 "as drafted% Shes !ot "ell%H =y *oi$e is "ea# a!d apologeti$%
GThat e1plai!s a great deal%H
Theres a #!o$# at the door, a!d 0lo!de +uber T"o e!ters%
G=r% >rey, forgi*e e for i!terrupti!g, but your !e1t eeti!g is i! t"o i!utes%H
GWere !ot fi!ished here, &!drea% .lease $a!$el y !e1t eeti!g%H
&!drea hesitates, gapi!g at hi% Shes appears lost% 3e tur!s his head slo"ly to fa$e her a!d
raises his eyebro"s% She flushes bright pi!#% Oh good. It*s not +ust me.
GAery "ell, =r% >rey,H she utters, the! e1its% 3e fro"!s, a!d tur!s his atte!tio! ba$# to e%
GWhere "ere "e, =iss SteeleIH
Oh we*re ,ac( to -Miss %teele* now.
G.lease do!t let e #eep you fro a!ythi!g%H
G8 "a!t to #!o" about you% 8 thi!# thats o!ly fair%H 3is gray eyes are alight "ith $uriosity%
<ouble $rap% Wheres he goi!g "ith thisI 3e pla$es his elbo"s o! the ars of the $hair a!d steeples
his fi!gers i! fro!t of his outh% 3is outh is *eryL distra$ti!g% 8 s"allo"%
GTheres !ot u$h to #!o",H 8 say, flushi!g agai!%
GWhat are your pla!s after you graduateIH
8 shrug, thro"! by his i!terest% Come to %eattle with !ate find a place find a +o,. 8 ha*e!t
really thought beyo!d y fi!als%
G8 ha*e!t ade a!y pla!s, =r% >rey% 8 @ust !eed to get through y fi!al e1as%H
Whi$h 8 should be studyi!g for !o" rather tha! sitti!g i! your palatial, s"a!#y, sterile offi$e,
feeli!g u!$ofortable u!der your pe!etrati!g gaFe%
GWe ru! a! e1$elle!t i!ter!ship progra here,H he says Buietly% 8 raise y eyebro"s i!
surprise% 8s he offeri!g e a @obI
G/h% 8ll bear that i! i!d,H 8 urur, $opletely $o!fou!ded% GThough 8 !ot sure 8d fit
i! here%H /h !o% 8 usi!g out loud agai!%
GWhy do you say thatIH 3e $o$#s his head to o!e side, i!trigued, a hi!t of a sile playi!g o!
his lips%
G8ts ob*ious, is!t itIH I*m uncoordinated scruffy and I*m not ,londe.
G+ot to e,H he ururs% 3is gaFe is i!te!se, all huor go!e, a!d stra!ge us$les deep i!
y belly $le!$h sudde!ly% 8 tear y eyes a"ay fro his s$ruti!y a!d stare bli!dly do"! at y
#!otted fi!gers% #hat*s going on. 8 ha*e to go C !o"% 8 lea! for"ard to retrie*e the re$order%
GWould you li#e e to sho" you arou!dIH he as#s%
G8 sure youre far too busy, =r% >rey, a!d 8 do ha*e a lo!g dri*e%H
GJoure dri*i!g ba$# to WS5 i! Aa!$ou*erIH 3e sou!ds surprised, a!1ious e*e!% 3e gla!$es
out of the "i!do"% 8ts begu! to rai!% GWell, youd better dri*e $arefully%H 3is to!e is ster!,
authoritati*e% Why should he $areI G<id you get e*erythi!g you !eedIH he adds%
GJes sir,H 8 reply, pa$#i!g the re$order i!to y sat$hel% 3is eyes !arro", spe$ulati*ely%
GTha!# you for the i!ter*ie", =r% >rey%H
GThe pleasures bee! all i!e,H he says, polite as e*er%
&s 8 rise, he sta!ds a!d holds out his ha!d%
G5!til "e eet agai!, =iss Steele%H &!d it sou!ds li#e a $halle!ge, or a threat, 8 !ot sure
"hi$h% 8 fro"!% Whe! "ill "e e*er eet agai!I 8 sha#e his ha!d o!$e ore, astou!ded that that odd
$urre!t bet"ee! us is still there% 8t ust be y !er*es%
G=r% >rey%H 8 !od at hi% =o*i!g "ith lithe athleti$ gra$e to the door, he ope!s it "ide%
GJust e!suri!g you a#e it through the door, =iss Steele%H 3e gi*es e a sall sile%
/b*iously, hes referri!g to y earlier less9tha!9elega!t e!try i!to his offi$e% 8 flush%
GThats *ery $o!siderate, =r% >rey,H 8 s!ap, a!d his sile "ide!s% I*m glad you find me
entertaining 8 glo"er i!"ardly, "al#i!g i!to the foyer% 8 surprised "he! he follo"s e out%
&!drea a!d /li*ia both loo# up, eBually surprised%
G<id you ha*e a $oatIH >rey as#s%
GJes%H /li*ia leaps up a!d retrie*es y @a$#et, "hi$h >rey ta#es fro her before she $a!
ha!d it to e% 3e holds it up a!d, feeli!g ridi$ulously self9$o!s$ious, 8 shrug it o!%
>rey pla$es his ha!ds for a oe!t o! y shoulders% 8 gasp at the $o!ta$t% 8f he !oti$es y
rea$tio!, he gi*es !othi!g a"ay% 3is lo!g i!de1 fi!ger presses the butto! suo!i!g the ele*ator,
a!d "e sta!d "aiti!g C a"#"ardly o! y part, $oolly self9possessed o! his%
The doors ope!, a!d 8 hurry i! desperate to es$ape% I really need to get out of here. Whe! 8
tur! to loo# at hi, hes lea!i!g agai!st the door"ay beside the ele*ator "ith o!e ha!d o! the "all%
3e really is *ery, *ery good9loo#i!g% 8ts distra$ti!g% 3is bur!i!g gray eyes gaFe at e%
G&!astasia,H he says as a fare"ell%
GChristia!,H 8 reply% &!d er$ifully, the doors $lose%
=y heart is pou!di!g% The ele*ator arri*es o! the first floor, a!d 8 s$rable out as soo! as the
doors slide ope!, stubli!g o!$e, but fortu!ately !ot spra"li!g o! to the ia$ulate sa!dsto!e
floor% 8 ra$e for the "ide glass doors, a!d 8 free i! the bra$i!g, $lea!si!g, dap air of Seattle%
Daisi!g y fa$e, 8 "el$oe the $ool refreshi!g rai!% 8 $lose y eyes a!d ta#e a deep, purifyi!g
breath, tryi!g to re$o*er "hats left of y eBuilibriu%
+o a! has e*er affe$ted e the "ay Christia! >rey has, a!d 8 $a!!ot fatho "hy%
8s it his loo#sI 3is $i*ilityI WealthI .o"erI 8 do!t u!dersta!d y irratio!al rea$tio!%
8 breathe a! e!orous sigh of relief% What i! hea*e!s !ae "as that all aboutI Lea!i!g
agai!st o!e of the steel pillars of the buildi!g, 8 *alia!tly attept to $al do"! a!d gather y
thoughts% 8 sha#e y head% 3oly $rap C "hat was thatI =y heart steadies to its regular rhyth, a!d
8 $a! breathe !orally agai!% 8 head for the $ar%
&s 8 lea*e the $ity liits behi!d, 8 begi! to feel foolish a!d ebarrassed as 8 replay the
i!ter*ie" i! y i!d% Surely, 8 o*er9rea$ti!g to soethi!g thats iagi!ary% /#ay, so hes *ery
attra$ti*e, $o!fide!t, $oa!di!g, at ease "ith hiself C but o! the flip side, hes arroga!t, a!d for
all his ipe$$able a!!ers, hes auto$rati$ a!d $old% Well, o! the surfa$e%
&! i!*olu!tary shi*er ru!s do"! y spi!e% 3e ay be arroga!t, but the! he has a right to be
C hes a$$oplished so u$h at su$h a you!g age% 3e does!t suffer fools gladly, but "hy should
heI &gai!, 8 irritated that Eate did!t gi*e e a brief biography%
While $ruisi!g alo!g the 894, y i!d $o!ti!ues to "a!der% 8 truly perple1ed as to "hat
a#es soeo!e so dri*e! to su$$eed% Soe of his a!s"ers "ere so $rypti$ C as if he had a hidde!
age!da% &!d Eates Buestio!s C ughK The adoptio! a!d as#i!g hi if he "as gayK 8 shudder% 8 $a!t
belie*e 8 said that% $round swallow me up now& E*ery tie 8 thi!# of that Buestio! i! the future, 8
"ill $ri!ge "ith ebarrasse!t% <a! Eatheri!e Ea*a!aghK
8 $he$# the speedoeter% 8 dri*i!g ore $autiously tha! 8 "ould o! a!y other o$$asio!%
&!d 8 #!o" its the eory of t"o pe!etrati!g gray eyes gaFi!g at e, a!d a ster! *oi$e telli!g e
to dri*e $arefully% Sha#i!g y head, 8 realiFe that >reys ore li#e a a! double his age%
'orget it Ana 8 s$old yself% 8 de$ide that all i! all, its bee! a *ery i!teresti!g e1perie!$e,
but 8 should!t d"ell o! it . /ut it ,ehind you. 8 !e*er ha*e to see hi agai!% 8 iediately
$heered by the thought% 8 s"it$h o! the =.2 player a!d tur! the *olue up loud, sit ba$#, a!d liste!
to thupi!g i!die ro$# usi$ as 8 press do"! o! the a$$elerator%
&s 8 hit the 194, 8 realiFe 8 $a! dri*e as fast as 8 "a!t%
We li*e i! a sall $ou!ity of duple1 aparte!ts i! Aa!$ou*er, Washi!gto!, $lose to the
Aa!$ou*er $apus of WS5% 8 lu$#y C Eates pare!ts bought the pla$e for her, a!d 8 pay pea!uts
for re!t% 8ts bee! hoe for four years !o"% &s 8 pull up outside, 8 #!o" Eate is goi!g to "a!t a
blo"9by9blo" a$$ou!t, a!d she is te!a$ious% Well, at least she has the i!i9dis$% 3opefully 8 "o!t
ha*e to elaborate u$h beyo!d "hat "as said duri!g the i!ter*ie"%
G&!aK Joure ba$#%H Eate sits i! our li*i!g area, surrou!ded by boo#s% Shes $learly bee!
studyi!g for fi!als C though shes still i! her pi!# fla!!el pa@aas de$orated "ith $ute little rabbits,
the o!es she reser*es for the afterath of brea#i!g up "ith boyfrie!ds, for assorted ill!esses, a!d
for ge!eral oody depressio!% She bou!ds up to e a!d hugs e hard%
G8 "as begi!!i!g to "orry% 8 e1pe$ted you ba$# soo!er%H
G/h, 8 thought 8 ade good tie $o!sideri!g the i!ter*ie" ra! o*er%H 8 "a*e the i!i9dis$
re$order at her%
G&!a, tha!# you so u$h for doi!g this% 8 o"e you, 8 #!o"% 3o" "as itI What "as he li#eIH
/h !o C here "e go, the Eatheri!e Ea*a!agh 8!Buisitio!%
8 struggle to a!s"er her Buestio!% What $a! 8 sayI
G8 glad its o*er, a!d 8 do!t ha*e to see hi agai!% 3e "as rather i!tiidati!g, you #!o"%H
8 shrug% G3es *ery fo$used, i!te!se e*e! C a!d you!g% Deally you!g%H
Eate gaFes i!!o$e!tly at e% 8 fro"! at her%
G<o!t you loo# so i!!o$e!t% Why did!t you gi*e e a biographyI 3e ade e feel li#e
su$h a! idiot for s#ipi!g o! basi$ resear$h%H Eate $laps a ha!d to her outh%
GJeeF, &!a, 8 sorry C 8 did!t thi!#%H
8 huff%
G=ostly he "as $ourteous, foral, slightly stuffy C li#e hes old before his tie% 3e does!t
tal# li#e a a! of t"e!ty9soethi!g% 3o" old is he a!y"ayIH
GT"e!ty9se*e!% JeeF, &!a, 8 sorry% 8 should ha*e briefed you, but 8 "as i! su$h a pa!i$% Let
e ha*e the i!i9dis$, a!d 8ll start tra!s$ribi!g the i!ter*ie"%H
GJou loo# better% <id you eat your soupIH 8 as#, #ee! to $ha!ge the sub@e$t%
GJes, a!d it "as deli$ious as usual% 8 feeli!g u$h better%H She siles at e i! gratitude% 8
$he$# y "at$h%
G8 ha*e to ru!% 8 $a! still a#e y shift at Clayto!s%H
G&!a, youll be e1hausted%H
G8ll be fi!e% 8ll see you later%H
8*e "or#ed at Clayto!s si!$e 8 started at WS5% 8ts the largest i!depe!de!t hard"are store i!
the .ortla!d area, a!d o*er the four years 8*e "or#ed here, 8*e $oe to #!o" a little bit about
ost e*erythi!g "e sell C although iro!i$ally, 8 $rap at a!y <8J% 8 lea*e all that to y dad% 8
u$h ore of a $url9up9"ith9a9boo#9i!9a9$ofy9$hair9by9the9fire #i!d of girl% 8 glad 8 $a! a#e
y shift as it gi*es e soethi!g to fo$us o! that is!t Christia! >rey% Were busy C its the start of
the suer seaso!, a!d fol#s are rede$orati!g their hoes% =rs% Clayto! is pleased to see e%
G&!aK 8 thought you "ere!t goi!g to a#e it today%H
G=y appoi!te!t did!t ta#e as lo!g as 8 thought% 8 $a! do a $ouple of hours%H
G8 real pleased to see you%H
She se!ds e to the storeroo to start re9sto$#i!g shel*es, a!d 8 soo! absorbed i! the tas#%
Whe! 8 arri*e hoe later, Eatheri!e is "eari!g headpho!es a!d "or#i!g o! her laptop%
3er !ose is still pi!#, but she has her teeth i!to a story, so shes $o!$e!trati!g a!d typi!g
furiously% 8 thoroughly drai!ed C e1hausted by the lo!g dri*e, the grueli!g i!ter*ie", a!d by
bei!g rushed off y feet at Clayto!s% 8 slup o! to the $ou$h, thi!#i!g about the essay 8 ha*e to
fi!ish a!d all the studyi!g 8 ha*e!t do!e today be$ause 8 "as holed up "ith 0 him.
GJou*e got soe good stuff here, &!a% Well do!e% 8 $a!t belie*e you did!t ta#e hi up o!
his offer to sho" you arou!d% 3e ob*iously "a!ted to spe!d ore tie "ith you%H
She gi*es e a fleeti!g BuiFFi$al loo#%
8 flush, a!d y heart rate i!e1pli$ably i!$reases% That "as!t the reaso!, surelyI 3e @ust
"a!ted to sho" e arou!d so 8 $ould see that he "as lord of all he sur*eyed% 8 realiFe 8 biti!g y
lip, a!d 8 hope Eate does!t !oti$e% 0ut she sees absorbed i! her tra!s$rip9tio!%G8 hear "hat you
ea! about foral% <id you ta#e a!y !otesIH she as#s%
G5L !o, 8 did!t%H
GThats fi!e% 8 $a! still a#e a fi!e arti$le "ith this% Shae "e do!t ha*e soe origi!al stills%
>ood9loo#i!g so! of a bit$h, is!t heIH
8 flush%
G8 suppose so%H 8 try hard to sou!d disi!terested, a!d 8 thi!# 8 su$$eed%
G/h $oe o!, &!a C e*e! you $a!t be iu!e to his loo#s%H She ar$hes a perfe$t eyebro" at
e%
Crap& 8 distra$t her "ith flattery, al"ays a good ploy%
GJou probably "ould ha*e got a lot ore out of hi%H
G8 doubt that, &!a% Coe o! C he pra$ti$ally offered you a @ob% >i*e! that 8 foisted this o! you
at the last i!ute, you did *ery "ell%H She gla!$es up at e spe$ulati*ely% 8 a#e a hasty retreat i!to
the #it$he!%
GSo "hat did you really thi!# of hiIH <a!, shes i!Buisiti*e% Why $a!t she @ust let this
goI 1hin( of something 2 3uic(.
G3es *ery dri*e!, $o!trolli!g, arroga!t C s$ary really, but *ery $harisati$% 8 $a! u!dersta!d
the fas$i!atio!,H 8 add truthfully, as 8 peer rou!d the door at her hopi!g this "ill shut her up o!$e
a!d for all%
GJou, fas$i!ated by a a!I Thats a first,H she s!orts%
8 start gatheri!g the a#i!gs of a sa!d"i$h so she $a!t see y fa$e%
GWhy did you "a!t to #!o" if he "as gayI 8!$ide!tally, that "as the ost ebarrassi!g
Buestio!% 8 "as ortified, a!d he "as pissed to be as#ed too%H 8 s$o"l at the eory%
GWhe!e*er hes i! the so$iety pages, he !e*er has a date%H
G8t "as ebarrassi!g% The "hole thi!g "as ebarrassi!g% 8 glad 8ll !e*er ha*e to lay eyes
o! hi agai!%H
G/h, &!a, it $a!t ha*e bee! that bad% 8 thi!# he sou!ds Buite ta#e! "ith you%H
1a(en with me. +o" Eates bei!g ridi$ulous%
GWould you li#e a sa!d"i$hIH
G.lease%H
We tal# !o ore of Christia! >rey that e*e!i!g, u$h to y relief% /!$e "e*e eate!, 8
able to sit at the di!i!g table "ith Eate a!d, "hile she "or#s o! her arti$le, 8 "or# o! y essay o!
1ess of the 4*5r,er6illes. <a!, but that "oa! "as i! the "ro!g pla$e at the "ro!g tie i! the
"ro!g $e!tury% 0y the tie 8 fi!ish, its id!ight, a!d Eate has lo!g si!$e go!e to bed% 8 a#e y
"ay to y roo, e1hausted, but pleased that 8*e a$$oplished so u$h for a =o!day%
8 $url up i! y "hite iro! bed, "rappi!g y others Built arou!d e, $lose y eyes, a!d
8 i!sta!tly asleep% That !ight 8 drea of dar# pla$es, blea# "hite $old floors, a!d gray eyes%
For the rest of the "ee#, 8 thro" yself i!to y studies a!d y @ob at Clayto!s% Eate is busy
too, $opili!g her last editio! of her stude!t agaFi!e before she has to reli!Buish it to the !e"
editor "hile also $rai!g for her fi!als% 0y Wed!esday, shes u$h better, a!d 8 !o lo!ger ha*e to
e!dure the sight of her pi!#9fla!!el9"ith9too9a!y9rabbits .Js% 8 $all y o i! >eorgia to $he$#
o! her, but also so she $a! "ish e lu$# for y fi!al e1as% She pro$eeds to tell e about her latest
*e!ture i!to $a!dle a#i!g C y other is all about !e" busi!ess *e!tures% Fu!dae!tally shes
bored a!d "a!ts soethi!g to o$$upy her tie, but she has the atte!tio! spa! of a goldfish% 8tll be
soethi!g !e" !e1t "ee#%
She "orries e% 8 hope she has!t ortgaged the house to fi!a!$e this latest s$hee% &!d 8
hope that 0ob C her relati*ely !e" but u$h older husba!d C is #eepi!g a! eye o! her !o" that 8
!o lo!ger there% 3e does see a lot ore grou!ded tha! 3usba!d +uber Three%
G3o" are thi!gs "ith you, &!aIH
For a oe!t, 8 hesitate, a!d 8 ha*e =os full atte!tio!%
G8 fi!e%H
G&!aI 3a*e you et soeo!eIH #ow0 how does she do that. The e1$itee!t i! her *oi$e
is palpable%
G+o, =o, its !othi!g% Joull be the first to #!o" if 8 do%H
G&!a, you really !eed to get out ore, ho!ey% Jou "orry e%H
G=o, 8 fi!e% 3o"s 0obIH &s e*er, distra$tio! is the best poli$y%
Later that e*e!i!g, 8 $all Day, y stepdad, =os 3usba!d +uber T"o, the a! 8 $o!sider
y father, a!d the a! "hose !ae 8 bear% 8ts a brief $o!*ersatio!% 8! fa$t, its !ot so u$h a
$o!*ersatio! as a o!e9sided series of gru!ts i! respo!se to y ge!tle $oa1i!g% Day is !ot a tal#er%
0ut hes still ali*e, hes still "at$hi!g so$$er o! TA, a!d goi!g bo"li!g a!d fly9fishi!g or a#i!g
fur!iture "he! hes !ot% Day is a s#illed $arpe!ter a!d the reaso! 8 #!o" the differe!$e bet"ee! a
ha"# a!d a ha!dsa"% &ll sees "ell "ith hi%
Friday !ight, Eate a!d 8 are debati!g "hat to do "ith our e*e!i!g C "e "a!t soe tie out
fro our studies, fro our "or#, a!d fro stude!t !e"spapers C "he! the doorbell ri!gs%
Sta!di!g o! our doorstep is y good frie!d JosNO222P, $lut$hi!g a bottle of $hapag!e%
GJosNO222PK >reat to see youKH 8 gi*e hi a Bui$# hug% GCoe i!%H
JosNO222P is the first perso! 8 et "he! 8 arri*ed at WS5, loo#i!g as lost a!d lo!ely as 8 did%
We re$og!iFed a #i!dred spirit i! ea$h of us that day, a!d "e*e bee! frie!ds e*er si!$e%
+ot o!ly do "e share a se!se of huor, but "e dis$o*ered that both Day a!d JosNO222P
Se!ior "ere i! the sae ary u!it together% &s a result, our fathers ha*e be$oe fir frie!ds too%
JosNO222P is studyi!g e!gi!eeri!g a!d is the first i! his faily to a#e it to $ollege% 3es
pretty da! bright, but his real passio! is photography% JosNO222P has a great eye for a good
pi$ture%
G8 ha*e !e"s%H 3e gri!s, his dar# eyes t"i!#li!g%
G<o!t tell e C you*e a!aged !ot to get #i$#ed out for a!other "ee#,H 8 tease, a!d he
s$o"ls playfully at e%
GThe .ortla!d .la$e >allery is goi!g to e1hibit y photos !e1t o!th%H
GThats aaFi!g C $o!gratulatio!sKH <elighted for hi, 8 hug hi agai!% Eate beas at hi
too%
GWay to go JosNO222PK 8 should put this i! the paper% +othi!g li#e last i!ute editorial
$ha!ges o! a Friday e*e!i!g%H She gri!s%
GLets $elebrate% 8 "a!t you to $oe to the ope!i!g%H JosNO222P loo#s i!te!tly at e% 8 flush%
G0oth of you, of $ourse,H he adds, gla!$i!g !er*ously at Eate%
JosNO222P a!d 8 are good frie!ds, but 8 #!o" deep do"! i!side, hed li#e to be ore% 3es
$ute a!d fu!!y, but hes @ust !ot for e% 3es ore li#e the brother 8 !e*er had% Eatheri!e ofte!
teases e that 8 issi!g the !eed9a9boyfrie!d ge!e, but the truth is C 8 @ust ha*e!t et a!yo!e
"hoL "ell, "ho 8 attra$ted to, e*e! though part of e lo!gs for those trebli!g #!ees, heart9
i!9y9outh, butterflies9i!9y9belly, sleepless !ights%
Soeties 8 "o!der if theres soethi!g "ro!g "ith e% .erhaps 8*e spe!t too lo!g i! the
$opa!y of y literary roa!ti$ heroes, a!d $o!seBue!tly y ideals a!d e1pe$tatio!s are far too
high% 0ut i! reality, !obodys e*er ade e feel li#e that%
5ntil 6ery recently the u!"el$oe, still sall *oi$e of y sub$o!s$ious "hispers%
+/K 8 ba!ish the thought iediately% 8 a !ot goi!g there, !ot after that pai!ful i!ter*ie"%
Are you gay Mr. $rey. 8 "i!$e at the eory% 8 #!o" 8*e dreat about hi ost !ights si!$e
the!, but thats @ust to purge the a"ful e1perie!$e fro y syste, surelyI
8 "at$h JosNO222P ope! the bottle of $hapag!e% 3es tall, a!d i! his @ea!s a!d t9shirt hes all
shoulders a!d us$les, ta!!ed s#i!, dar# hair a!d bur!i!g dar# eyes% Jes, JosNO222Ps pretty hot,
but 8 thi!# hes fi!ally getti!g the essage: "ere @ust frie!ds% The $or# a#es its loud pop, a!d
JosNO222P loo#s up a!d siles%
Saturday at the store is a !ightare% We are besieged by do9it9yourselfers "a!ti!g to spru$e
up their hoes% =r% a!d =rs% Clayto!, Joh! a!d .atri$# C the t"o other part9tiers
C a!d 8 are all rushed off our feet% 0ut theres a lull arou!d lu!$htie, a!d =rs% Clayto! as#s
e to $he$# o! soe orders "hile 8 sitti!g behi!d the $ou!ter at the till dis$reetly eati!g y
bagel% 8 e!grossed i! the tas#, $he$#i!g $atalogue !ubers agai!st the ites "e !eed a!d the
ites "e*e ordered, eyes fli$#i!g fro the order boo# to the $oputer s$ree! a!d ba$# as 8 $he$#
the e!tries at$h% The!, for soe reaso!, 8 gla!$e upL a!d fi!d yself lo$#ed i! the bold gray
gaFe of Christia! >rey "hos sta!di!g at the $ou!ter, stari!g at e i!te!tly%
7eart failure.
G=iss Steele% What a pleasa!t surprise%H 3is gaFe is u!"a*eri!g a!d i!te!se%
3oly $rap% What the hell is he doi!g here loo#i!g all tousled9hair a!d outdoorsy i! his $rea
$hu!#y9#!it s"eater, @ea!s, a!d "al#i!g bootsI 8 thi!# y outh has popped ope!, a!d 8 $a!t
lo$ate y brai! or y *oi$e%
G=r% >rey,H 8 "hisper, be$ause thats all 8 $a! a!age% Theres a ghost of a sile o! his lips
a!d his eyes are alight "ith huor, as if hes e!@oyi!g soe pri*ate @o#e%
G8 "as i! the area,H he says by "ay of e1pla!atio!% G8 !eed to sto$# up o! a fe" thi!gs%
8ts a pleasure to see you agai!, =iss Steele%H 3is *oi$e is "ar a!d hus#y li#e dar# elted
$ho$olate fudge $araelL or soethi!g%
8 sha#e y head to gather y "its% =y heart is pou!di!g a fra!ti$ tattoo, a!d for soe reaso!
8 blushi!g furiously u!der his steady s$ruti!y% 8 a utterly thro"! by the sight of hi sta!di!g
before e% =y eories of hi did !ot do hi @usti$e% 3es !ot erely good9loo#i!g C hes the
epitoe of ale beauty, breathta#i!g, a!d hes here% 3ere i! Clayto!s 3ard"are Store% >o figure%
Fi!ally y $og!iti*e fu!$tio!s are restored a!d re$o!!e$ted "ith the rest of y body%
G&!a% =y !aes &!a,H 8 utter% GWhat $a! 8 help you "ith, =r% >reyIH
3e siles, a!d agai! its li#e hes pri*y to soe big se$ret% 8t is so dis$o!$erti!g% Ta#i!g a
deep breath, 8 put o! y professio!al 8*e9"or#ed9i!9this9shop9for9years faNO221Pade% I can do
this.
GThere are a fe" ites 8 !eed% To start "ith, 8d li#e soe $able ties,H he ururs, his gray
eyes $ool but aused%
Ca,le ties.
GWe sto$# *arious le!gths% Shall 8 sho" youIH 8 utter, y *oi$e soft a!d "a*ery%
$et a grip %teele. & slight fro"! ars >reys rather lo*ely bro"%
G.lease% Lead the "ay, =iss Steele,H he says% 8 try for !o!$hala!$e as 8 $oe out fro behi!d
the $ou!ter, but really 8 $o!$e!trati!g hard o! !ot falli!g o*er y o"! feet C y legs are
sudde!ly the $o!siste!$y of Jell9/% 8 so glad 8 de$ided to "ear y best @ea!s this or!i!g%
GTheyre i! "ith the ele$tri$al goods, aisle eight%H =y *oi$e is a little too bright% 8 gla!$e up at
hi a!d regret it alost iediately% <a!, hes ha!dsoe% 8 blush%
G&fter you,H he ururs, gesturi!g "ith his lo!g9fi!gered, beautifully a!i$ured ha!d%With
y heart alost stra!gli!g e C be$ause its i! y throat tryi!g to es$ape fro y outh C 8 head
do"! o!e of the aisles to the ele$tri$al se$tio!% #hy is he in /ortland.
#hy is he here at Clayton*s. &!d fro a *ery ti!y, u!derused part of y brai! C probably
lo$ated at the base of y edulla oblo!gata "here y sub$o!s$ious d"ells C $oes the thought:
he*s here to see you. +o "ayK 8 disiss it iediately% Why "ould this beautiful, po"erful, urba!e
a! "a!t to see eI The idea is preposterous, a!d 8 #i$# it out of y head%
G&re you i! .ortla!d o! busi!essIH 8 as#, a!d y *oi$e is too high, li#e 8*e got y fi!ger
trapped i! a door or soethi!g% 4amn& 1ry to ,e cool Ana&
G8 "as *isiti!g the WS5 fari!g di*isio!% 8ts based at Aa!$ou*er% 8 $urre!tly fu!di!g
soe resear$h there i! $rop rotatio! a!d soil s$ie!$e,H he says atter9of9fa$tly% %ee.
"ot here to find you at all y sub$o!s$ious s!eers at e, loud, proud, a!d pouty% 8 flush at
y foolish "ay"ard thoughts%
G&ll part of your feed9the9"orld pla!IH 8 tease%
GSoethi!g li#e that,H he a$#!o"ledges, a!d his lips Buir# up i! a half sile%
3e gaFes at the sele$tio! of $able ties "e sto$# at Clayto!s% What o! Earth is he goi!g to do
"ith thoseI 8 $a!!ot pi$ture hi as a do9it9yourselfer at all% 3is fi!gers trail a$ross the *arious
pa$#ages displayed, a!d for soe i!e1pli$able reaso!, 8 ha*e to loo# a"ay% 3e be!ds a!d sele$ts a
pa$#et%
GThese "ill do,H he says "ith his oh9so9se$ret sile, a!d 8 blush%
G8s there a!ythi!g elseIH
G8d li#e soe as#i!g tape%H
Mas(ing tape.
G&re you rede$orati!gIH The "ords are out before 8 $a! stop the% Surely he hires laborers or
has staff to help hi de$orateI
G+o, !ot rede$orati!g,H he says Bui$#ly the! sir#s, a!d 8 ha*e the u!$a!!y feeli!g that hes
laughi!g at e%
Am I that funny. 'unny loo(ing.
GThis "ay,H 8 urur ebarrassed% G=as#i!g tape is i! the de$orati!g aisle%H
8 gla!$e behi!d e as he follo"s%
G3a*e you "or#ed here lo!gIH 3is *oi$e is lo", a!d hes gaFi!g at e, gray eyes
$o!$e!trati!g hard% 8 blush e*e! ore brightly% Why the hell does he ha*e this effe$t o! eI
8 feel li#e 8 fourtee! years old C gau$he, as al"ays, a!d out of pla$e% 8yes front %teele&
GFour years,H 8 utter as "e rea$h our goal% To distra$t yself, 8 rea$h do"! a!d sele$t the
t"o "idths of as#i!g tape that "e sto$#%
G8ll ta#e that o!e,H >rey says softly poi!ti!g to the "ider tape, "hi$h 8 pass to hi%
/ur fi!gers brush *ery briefly, a!d the $urre!t is there agai!, Fappi!g through e li#e 8*e
tou$hed a! e1posed "ire% 8 gasp i!*olu!tarily as 8 feel it, all the "ay do"! to soe"here dar# a!d
u!e1plored, deep i! y belly% <esperately, 8 s$rabble arou!d for y eBuilibriu%
G&!ythi!g elseIH =y *oi$e is hus#y a!d breathy% 3is eyes "ide! slightly%
GSoe rope, 8 thi!#%H 3is *oi$e irrors i!e, hus#y%
GThis "ay%H 8 du$# y head do"! to hide y re$urri!g blush a!d head for the aisle%
GWhat sort "ere you afterI We ha*e sy!theti$ a!d !atural filae!t ropeL t"i!eL
$able $ordL H 8 halt at his e1pressio!, his eyes dar#e!i!g% 3oly $o"%
G8ll ta#e fi*e yards of the !atural filae!t rope please%H
Qui$#ly, "ith trebli!g fi!gers, 8 easure out fi*e yards agai!st the fi1ed ruler, a"are that his
hot gray gaFe is o! e% 8 dare !ot loo# at hi% JeeF, $ould 8 feel a!y ore self9$o!s$iousI Ta#i!g
y Sta!ley #!ife fro the ba$# po$#et of y @ea!s, 8 $ut it the! $oil it !eatly before tyi!g it i! a
slip#!ot% 0y soe ira$le, 8 a!age !ot to reo*e a fi!ger "ith y #!ife%
GWere you a >irl S$outIH he as#s, s$ulptured, se!sual lips $urled i! ausee!t% 4on*t loo( at
his mouth&
G/rga!iFed, group a$ti*ities are!t really y thi!g, =r% >rey%H
3e ar$hes a bro"%
GWhat is your thi!g, &!astasiaIH he as#s, his *oi$e soft a!d his se$ret sile is ba$#% 8 gaFe at
hi u!able to e1press yself% 8 o! shifti!g te$to!i$ plates% 1ry and ,e cool Ana y tortured
sub$o!s$ious begs o! be!ded #!ee%
G0oo#s,H 8 "hisper, but i!side, y sub$o!s$ious is s$reai!g: )ou& )ou are my thing&
8 slap it do"! i!sta!tly, ortified that y psy$he is ha*i!g ideas abo*e its statio!%
GWhat #i!d of boo#sIH 3e $o$#s his head to o!e side% #hy is he so interested.
G/h, you #!o"% The usual% The $lassi$s% 0ritish literature, ai!ly%H
3e rubs his $hi! "ith his lo!g i!de1 fi!ger a!d thub as he $o!teplates y a!s"er%
/r perhaps hes @ust *ery bored a!d tryi!g to hide it%
G&!ythi!g else you !eedIH 8 ha*e to get off this sub@e$t C those fi!gers o! that fa$e are so
beguili!g%
G8 do!t #!o"% What else "ould you re$oe!dIH
What "ould 8 re$oe!dI 8 do!t e*e! #!o" "hat youre doi!g%
GFor a do9it9yourselferIH
3e !ods, gray eyes ali*e "ith "i$#ed huor% 8 flush, a!d y eyes stray of their o"! a$$ord to
his s!ug @ea!s%
GCo*eralls,H 8 reply, a!d 8 #!o" 8 !o lo!ger s$ree!i!g "hats $oi!g out of y outh%
3e raises a! eyebro", aused, yet agai!%
GJou "ould!t "a!t to rui! your $lothi!g,H 8 gesture *aguely i! the dire$tio! of his @ea!s%
G8 $ould al"ays ta#e the off%H 3e sir#s%
G5%H 8 feel the $olor i! y $hee#s risi!g agai!% 8 ust be the $olor of the $ou!ist
a!ifesto% %top tal(ing. %top tal(ing "O#.
G8ll ta#e soe $o*eralls% 3ea*e! forbid 8 should rui! a!y $lothi!g,H he says dryly%
8 try a!d disiss the u!"el$oe iage of hi "ithout @ea!s%
G<o you !eed a!ythi!g elseIH 8 sBuea# as 8 ha!d hi the blue $o*eralls%
3e ig!ores y i!Buiry%
G3o"s the arti$le $oi!g alo!gIH
3es fi!ally as#ed e a !oral Buestio!, a"ay fro all the i!!ue!do a!d the $o!fusi!g
double tal#L a Buestio! 8 $a! a!s"er% 8 grasp it tightly "ith t"o ha!ds as if "ere a life raft, a!d 8 go
for ho!esty%
G8 !ot "riti!g it, Eatheri!e is% =iss Ea*a!agh% =y rooate, shes the "riter%
Shes *ery happy "ith it% Shes the editor of the agaFi!e, a!d she "as de*astated that she
$ould!t do the i!ter*ie" i! perso!%H 8 feel li#e 8*e $oe up for air C at last, a !oral topi$ of
$o!*ersatio!% G3er o!ly $o!$er! is that she does!t ha*e a!y origi!al photographs of you%H
>rey raises a! eyebro"%
GWhat sort of photographs does she "a!tIH
/#ay% 8 had!t fa$tored i! this respo!se% 8 sha#e y head, be$ause 8 @ust do!t #!o"%
GWell, 8 arou!d% Toorro", perhapsL H he trails off%
GJoud be "illi!g to atte!d a photo shootIH =y *oi$e is sBuea#y agai!% Eate "ill be i!
se*e!th hea*e! if 8 $a! pull this off% And you might see him again tomorrow that dar# pla$e at the
base of y brai! "hispers sedu$ti*ely at e% 8 disiss the thought C of all the silly, ridi$ulousL
GEate "ill be delighted C if "e $a! fi!d a photographer%H 8 so pleased, 8 sile at hi
broadly% 3is lips part, li#e hes ta#i!g a sharp i!ta#e of breath, a!d he bli!#s% For a fra$tio! of a
se$o!d, he loo#s lost soeho", a!d the Earth shifts slightly o! its a1is, the te$to!i$ plates slidi!g
i!to a !e" positio!%
Oh my. Christian $rey*s lost loo(.
GLet e #!o" about toorro"%H Dea$hi!g i!to his ba$# po$#et, he pulls out his "allet% G=y
$ard% 8t has y $ell !uber o! it% Joull !eed to $all before te! i! the or!i!g%H
G/#ay%H 8 gri! up at hi% Eate is goi!g to be thrilled%
G&+&KH
.aul has aterialiFed at other the e!d of the aisle% 3es =r% Clayto!s you!gest brother% 8d
heard he "as hoe fro .ri!$eto!, but 8 "as!t e1pe$ti!g to see hi today%
GEr, e1$use e for a oe!t, =r% >rey%H >rey fro"!s as 8 tur! a"ay fro hi%
.aul has al"ays bee! a buddy, a!d i! this stra!ge oe!t that 8 ha*i!g "ith the ri$h,
po"erful, a"esoely off9the9s$ale attra$ti*e $o!trol9frea# >rey, its great to tal# to soeo!e "hos
!oral% .aul hugs e hard ta#i!g e by surprise%
G&!a, hi, its so good to see youKH he gushes%
G3ello .aul, ho" are youI Jou hoe for your brothers birthdayIH
GJep% Joure loo#i!g "ell, &!a, really "ell%H 3e gri!s as he e1ai!es e at ars le!gth%
The! he releases e but #eeps a possessi*e ar draped o*er y shoulder% 8 shuffle fro foot to
foot, ebarrassed% 8ts good to see .aul, but hes al"ays bee! o*er9failiar%
Whe! 8 gla!$e up at Christia! >rey, hes "at$hi!g us li#e a ha"#, his gray eyes hooded a!d
spe$ulati*e, his outh a hard ipassi*e li!e% 3es $ha!ged fro the "eirdly atte!ti*e $ustoer to
soeo!e else C soeo!e $old a!d dista!t%
G.aul, 8 "ith a $ustoer% Soeo!e you should eet,H 8 say, tryi!g to defuse the a!tago!is
8 see i! >reys eyes% 8 drag .aul o*er to eet hi, a!d they "eigh ea$h other up% The atosphere is
sudde!ly ar$ti$%
GEr, .aul, this is Christia! >rey% =r% >rey, this is .aul Clayto!% 3is brother o"!s the pla$e%H
&!d for soe irratio!al reaso!, 8 feel 8 ha*e to e1plai! a bit ore%
G8*e #!o"! .aul e*er si!$e 8*e "or#ed here, though "e do!t see ea$h other that ofte!% 3es
ba$# fro .ri!$eto! "here hes studyi!g busi!ess adi!istratio!%H 8 babbli!gL %top now&
G=r% Clayto!%H Christia! holds his ha!d out, his loo# u!readable%
G=r% >rey,H .aul retur!s his ha!dsha#e% GWait up C !ot the Christia! >reyI /f >rey
E!terprises 3oldi!gsIH .aul goes fro surly to a"estru$# i! less tha! a !a!ose$o!d% >rey gi*es
hi a polite sile that does!t rea$h his eyes%
GWo" C is there a!ythi!g 8 $a! get youIH
G&!astasia has it $o*ered, =r% Clayto!% Shes bee! *ery atte!ti*e%H 3is e1pressio! is
ipassi*e, but his "ordsL its li#e hes sayi!g soethi!g else e!tirely% 8ts baffli!g%
GCool,H .aul respo!ds% GCat$h you later, &!a%H
GSure, .aul%H 8 "at$h hi disappear to"ard the sto$# roo% G&!ythi!g else, =r%
>reyIH
GJust these ites%H 3is to!e is $lipped a!d $ool% <a!L ha*e 8 offe!ded hiI Ta#i!g a deep
breath, 8 tur! a!d head for the till% #hat is his pro,lem.
8 ri!g up the rope, $o*eralls, as#i!g tape, a!d $able ties at the till%
GThat "ill be forty9three dollars, please%H 8 gla!$e up at >rey, a!d 8 "ish 8 had!t% 3es
"at$hi!g e $losely, his gray eyes i!te!se a!d so#y% 8ts u!!er*i!g%
GWould you li#e a bagIH 8 as# as 8 ta#e his $redit $ard%
G.lease, &!astasia%H 3is to!gue $aresses y !ae, a!d y heart o!$e agai! is fra!ti$%
8 $a! hardly breathe% 3urriedly, 8 pla$e his pur$hases i! a plasti$ $arrier%
GJoull $all e if you "a!t e to do the photo shootIH 3es all busi!ess o!$e ore% 8 !od,
re!dered spee$hless yet agai!, a!d ha!d ba$# his $redit $ard%
G>ood% 5!til toorro" perhaps%H 3e tur!s to lea*e, the! pauses% G/h C a!d &!astasia, 8
glad =iss Ea*a!agh $ould!t do the i!ter*ie"%H 3e siles, the! strides "ith re!e"ed purpose out of
the store, sli!gi!g the plasti$ bag o*er his shoulder, lea*i!g e a Bui*eri!g ass of ragi!g feale
horo!es% 8 spe!d se*eral i!utes stari!g at the $losed door through "hi$h hes @ust left before 8
retur! to pla!et Earth%
O(ay 2 I li(e him. There, 8*e aditted it to yself% 8 $a!!ot hide fro y feeli!gs a!yore%
8*e !e*er felt li#e this before% 8 fi!d hi attra$ti*e, *ery attra$ti*e% 0ut its a lost $ause, 8 #!o", a!d
8 sigh "ith bitters"eet regret% 8t "as @ust a $oi!$ide!$e, his $oi!g here% 0ut still, 8 $a! adire hi
fro afar, surelyI +o har $a! $oe of that% &!d if 8 fi!d a photographer, 8 $a! do soe serious
adiri!g toorro"% 8 bite y lip i! a!ti$ipatio! a!d fi!d yself gri!!i!g li#e a s$hoolgirl% 8 !eed to
pho!e Eate a!d orga!iFe a photo9shoot%
Eate is e$stati$%
G0ut "hat "as he doi!g at Clayto!sIH 3er $uriosity ooFes through the pho!e% 8 i! the
depths of the sto$# roo, tryi!g to #eep y *oi$e $asual%
G3e "as i! the area%H
G8 thi!# that is o!e huge $oi!$ide!$e, &!a% Jou do!t thi!# he "as there to see youIH
she spe$ulates% =y heart lur$hes at the prospe$t, but its a short9li*ed @oy% The dull,
disappoi!ti!g reality is that he "as here o! busi!ess%
G3e "as *isiti!g the fari!g di*isio! of WS5% 3es fu!di!g soe resear$h,H 8 utter%
G/h yes% 3es gi*e! the departe!t a R2%4 illio! gra!t%H
#ow.
G3o" do you #!o" thisIH
G&!a, 8 a @our!alist, a!d 8*e "ritte! a profile o! the guy% 8ts y @ob to #!o" this%H
G/#ay, Carla 0er!stei!, #eep your hair o!% So do you "a!t these photosIH
G/f $ourse 8 do% The Buestio! is, "hos goi!g to do the a!d "here%H
GWe $ould as# hi "here% 3e says hes stayi!g i! the area%H
GJou $a! $o!ta$t hiIH
G8 ha*e his $ell pho!e !uber%H
Eate gasps%
GThe ri$hest, ost elusi*e, ost e!igati$ ba$helor i! Washi!gto! State, @ust ga*e you his
$ell pho!e !uber%H
GErL yes%H
G&!aK 3e li#es you% +o doubt about it%H 3er to!e is ephati$%
GEate, hes @ust tryi!g to be !i$e%H 0ut e*e! as 8 say the "ords, 8 #!o" theyre !ot true
C Christia! >rey does!t do nice. 3e does polite, aybe% &!d a sall Buiet *oi$e "hispers,
perhaps !ate is right. =y s$alp pri$#les at the idea that aybe, @ust aybe, he ight li#e e%
&fter all, he did say he "as glad Eate did!t do the i!ter*ie"% 8 hug yself "ith Buiet glee, ro$#i!g
fro side to side, e!tertai!i!g the possibility that he ight li#e e for o!e brief oe!t% Eate
bri!gs e ba$# to the !o"%
G8 do!t #!o" "ho "ell get to do the shoot% Le*i, our regular photographer, $a!t%
3es hoe i! 8daho Falls for the "ee#e!d% 3ell be pissed that he ble" a! opportu!ity to
photo o!e of &eri$as leadi!g e!trepre!eurs%H
G3L What about JosNO222PIH
G>reat ideaK Jou as# hi C hell do a!ythi!g for you% The! $all >rey a!d fi!d out "here he
"a!ts us%H Eate is irritati!gly $a*alier about JosNO222P%
G8 thi!# you should $all hi%H
GWho, JosNO222PIH Eate s$offs%
G+o, >rey%H
G&!a, youre the o!e "ith the relatio!ship%H
GDelatio!shipIH 8 sBuea# at her, y *oi$e risi!g se*eral o$ta*es% G8 barely #!o" the guy%HG&t
least you*e et hi,H she says bitterly% G&!d it loo#s li#e he "a!ts to #!o" you better% &!a, @ust
$all hi,H she s!aps a!d ha!gs up% She is so bossy soeties% 8 fro"! at y $ell, sti$#i!g y
to!gue out at it%
8 @ust lea*i!g a essage for JosNO222P "he! .aul e!ters the sto$# roo loo#i!g for sa!d9
paper%
GWere #i!d of busy out there, &!a,H he says "ithout a$rio!y%
GJeah, u, sorry,H 8 utter, tur!i!g to lea*e%
GSo, ho" $oe you #!o" Christia! >reyIH .auls *oi$e is u!$o!*i!$i!gly !o!$hala!t%
G8 had to i!ter*ie" hi for our stude!t !e"spaper% Eate "as!t "ell%H 8 shrug, tryi!g to sou!d
$asual a!d doi!g !o better tha! hi%
GChristia! >rey i! Clayto!s% >o figure,H .aul s!orts, aaFed% 3e sha#es his head as if to
$lear it% G&!y"ay, "a!t to grab a dri!# or soethi!g this e*e!i!gIH
Whe!e*er hes hoe he as#s e o! a date, a!d 8 al"ays say !o% 8ts a ritual% 8*e !e*er
$o!sidered it a good idea to date the bosss brother, a!d besides, .aul is $ute i! a "hole9soe all9
&eri$a! boy9!e1t9door #i!d of "ay, but hes !o literary hero, !ot by a!y stret$h of the
iagi!atio!% Is $rey. =y sub$o!s$ious as#s e, her eyebro" figurati*ely raised%
8 slap her do"!%
G<o!t you ha*e a faily di!!er or soethi!g for your brotherIH
GThats toorro"%H
G=aybe soe other tie, .aul% 8 !eed to study to!ight% 8 ha*e y fi!als !e1t "ee#%H
G&!a, o!e of these days, youll say yes,H he siles as 8 es$ape out to the store floor%
G0ut 8 do pla$es, &!a, !ot people,H JosNO222P groa!s%
GJosNO222P, pleaseIH 8 beg% Clut$hi!g y $ell, 8 pa$e the li*i!g area of our aparte!t, stari!g
out of the "i!do" at the fadi!g e*e!i!g light%
G>i*e e that pho!e%H Eate grabs the ha!dset fro e, tossi!g her sil#e! red9blo!de hair
o*er her shoulder%
GListe! here, JosNO222P DodriBueF, if you "a!t our !e"spaper to $o*er the ope!i!g of your
sho", youll do this shoot for us toorro", $api$heIH Eate $a! be a"esoely tough%
G>ood% &!a "ill $all ba$# "ith the lo$atio! a!d the $all tie% Well see you toorro"%H She
s!aps y $ell pho!e shut%
GSorted% &ll "e !eed to do !o" is de$ide "here a!d "he!% Call hi%H She holds the pho!e out
to e% =y stoa$h t"ists%
GCall >rey, !o"KH
8 s$o"l at her a!d rea$h i!to y ba$# po$#et for his busi!ess $ard% 8 ta#e a deep, steadyi!g
breath, a!d "ith sha#i!g fi!gers, 8 dial the !uber%
3e a!s"ers o! the se$o!d ri!g% 3is to!e is $lipped, $al a!d $old%
G>rey%H
GErrL =r% >reyI 8ts &!astasia Steele%H 8 do!t re$og!iFe y o"! *oi$e, 8 so !er*ous%
Theres a brief pause% 8!side 8 Bua#i!g%
G=iss Steele% 3o" !i$e to hear fro you%H 3is *oi$e has $ha!ged% 3es surprised, 8 thi!#, a!d
he sou!ds soL "ar C seducti6e e*e!% =y breath hit$hes, a!d 8 flush% 8 sudde!ly $o!s$ious that
Eatheri!e Ea*a!agh is stari!g at e, her outh ope!, a!d 8 dart i!to the #it$he! to a*oid her
u!"a!ted s$ruti!y%
GErr C "ed li#e to go ahead "ith the photo9shoot for the arti$le%H 9reathe Ana ,reathe.
=y lu!gs drag i! a hasty breath% GToorro", if thats o#ay% Where "ould be $o!*e!ie!t for
you, sirIH
8 $a! alost hear his sphi!19li#e sile through the pho!e%
G8 stayi!g at the 3eatha! i! .ortla!d% Shall "e say, !i!e thirty toorro"
or!i!gIHG/#ay, "ell see you there%H 8 a all gushi!g a!d breathy C li#e a $hild, !ot a gro"!
"oa! "ho $a! *ote a!d dri!# legally i! the State of Washi!gto!%
G8 loo# for"ard to it, =iss Steele%H 8 *isualiFe the "i$#ed glea i! his gray eyes% 7ow can he
ma(e se6en little words hold so much tantali:ing promise. 8 ha!g up% Eate is i! the #it$he!, a!d
shes stari!g at e "ith a loo# of $oplete a!d utter $o!ster!atio! o! her fa$e%
G&!astasia Dose Steele% Jou li#e hiK 8*e !e*er see! or heard you so, soL affe$ted by
a!yo!e before% Joure a$tually blushi!g%H
G/h Eate, you #!o" 8 blush all the tie% 8ts a! o$$upatio!al haFard "ith e% <o!t be so
ridi$ulous,H 8 s!ap% She bli!#s at e "ith surprise C 8 *ery rarely thro" y toys out of the pra C
a!d 8 briefly rele!t% G8 @ust fi!d hiL i!tiidati!g, thats all%H
G3eatha!, that figures,H utters Eate% G8ll gi*e the a!ager a $all a!d !egotiate a spa$e for
the shoot%H
G8ll a#e supper% The! 8 !eed to study%H 8 $a!!ot hide y irritatio! "ith her as 8 ope! o!e of
$upboards to a#e supper%
8 a restless that !ight, tossi!g a!d tur!i!g% <reai!g of so#y gray eyes, $o*eralls, lo!g
legs, lo!g fi!gers, a!d dar#, dar# u!e1plored pla$es% 8 "a#e t"i$e i! the !ight, y heart pou!di!g%
Oh I*m going to loo( +ust great tomorrow with so little sleep 8 s$old yself% 8 pu!$h y pillo"
a!d try to settle%
The 3eatha! is !estled i! the do"!to"! heart of .ortla!d% 8ts ipressi*e bro"! sto!e
edifi$e "as $opleted @ust i! tie for the $rash of the late 1'20s% JosNO222P, Tra*is, a!d 8 are
tra*eli!g i! y 0eetle, a!d Eate is i! her CLE, si!$e "e $a!t all fit i! y $ar% Tra*is is
JosNO222Ps frie!d a!d gopher, here to help out "ith the lighti!g% Eate has a!aged to a$Buire the
use of a roo at the 3eatha! free of $harge for the or!i!g i! e1$ha!ge for a $redit i! the arti$le%
Whe! she e1plai!s at re$eptio! that "ere here to photograph Christia! >rey CE/, "e are i!sta!tly
upgraded to a suite% Just a regular9siFed suite, ho"e*er, as appare!tly =r% >rey is already o$$upyi!g
the largest o!e i! the buildi!g% &! o*er9#ee! ar#eti!g e1e$uti*e sho"s us up to the suite C hes
terribly you!g a!d *ery !er*ous for soe reaso!%
8 suspe$t its Eates beauty a!d $oa!di!g a!!er that disars hi, be$ause hes putty i!
her ha!ds% The roos are elega!t, u!derstated, a!d opule!tly fur!ished%
8ts !i!e% We ha*e half a! hour to set up% Eate is i! full flo"%
GJosNO222P, 8 thi!# "ell shoot agai!st that "all, do you agreeIH She does!t "ait for his
reply% GTra*is, $lear the $hairs% &!a, $ould you as# house#eepi!g to bri!g up soe refresh9e!tsI
&!d let >rey #!o" "here "e are%H
)es Mistress. She is so doi!eeri!g% 8 roll y eyes, but do as 8 told%
3alf a! hour later, Christia! >rey "al#s i!to our suite%
7oly Crap& 3es "eari!g a "hite shirt, ope! at the $ollar, a!d grey fla!!el pa!ts that ha!g
fro his hips% 3is u!ruly hair is still dap fro a sho"er% =y outh goes dry loo#i!g at hiL
hes so frea#i!g hot. >rey is follo"ed i!to the suite by a a! i! his id9thirties, all buFF9$ut a!d
stubble i! a sharp dar# suit a!d tie "ho sta!ds sile!tly i! the $or!er% 3is haFel eyes "at$h us
ipassi*ely%
G=iss Steele, "e eet agai!%H >rey e1te!ds his ha!d, a!d 8 sha#e it, bli!#i!g rapidly%
/h yL he really is, BuiteL "o"% &s 8 tou$h his ha!d, 8 a"are of that deli$ious $urre!t
ru!!i!g right through e, lighti!g e up, a#i!g e blush, a!d 8 sure y errati$ breathi!g ust
be audible%
G=r% >rey, this is Eatheri!e Ea*a!agh,H 8 utter, "a*i!g a ha!d to"ard Eate "ho $oes
for"ard, loo#i!g hi sBuarely i! the eye%
GThe te!a$ious =iss Ea*a!agh% 3o" do you doIH 3e gi*es her a sall sile, loo#i!g
ge!ui!ely aused% G8 trust youre feeli!g betterI &!astasia said you "ere u!"ell last "ee#%H
G8 fi!e, tha!# you, =r% >rey%H She sha#es his ha!d firly "ithout batti!g a! eyelid%
8 rei!d yself that Eate has bee! to the best pri*ate s$hools i! Washi!gto!% 3er faily has
o!ey, a!d shes gro"! up $o!fide!t a!d sure of her pla$e i! the "orld% She does!t ta#e a!y $rap%
8 a i! a"e of her%
GTha!# you for ta#i!g the tie to do this%H She gi*es hi a polite, professio!al sile%
G8ts a pleasure,H he a!s"ers, tur!i!g his gray gaFe o! e, a!d 8 flush, agai!% <a! it%
GThis is JosNO222P DodrigueF, our photographer,H 8 say, gri!!i!g at JosNO222P "ho siles
"ith affe$tio! ba$# at e% 3is eyes $ool "he! he loo#s fro e to >rey%
G=r% >rey,H he !ods%
G=r% DodrigueF,H >reys e1pressio! $ha!ges too as he appraises JosNO222P%
GWhere "ould you li#e eIH >rey as#s hi% 3is to!e sou!ds *aguely threate!i!g% 0ut
Eatheri!e is !ot about to let JosNO222P ru! the sho"%
G=r% >rey C if you $ould sit here, pleaseI 0e $areful of the lighti!g $ables% &!d the! "ell do
a fe" sta!di!g, too%H She dire$ts hi to a $hair set up agai!st the "all%
Tra*is s"it$hes o! the lights, oe!tarily bli!di!g >rey, a!d utters a! apology%
The! Tra*is a!d 8 sta!d ba$# a!d "at$h as JosNO222P pro$eeds to s!ap a"ay% 3e ta#es
se*eral photographs ha!d9held, as#i!g >rey to tur! this "ay, the! that, to o*e his ar, the! put it
do"! agai!% =o*i!g to the tripod, JosNO222P ta#es se*eral ore, "hile >rey sits a!d poses,
patie!tly a!d !aturally, for about t"e!ty i!utes% =y "ish has $oe true: 8 $a! sta!d a!d adire
>rey fro !ot9so9afar% T"i$e our eyes lo$#, a!d 8 ha*e to tear yself a"ay fro his $loudy gaFe%
GE!ough sitti!g%H Eatheri!e "ades i! agai!% GSta!di!g, =r% >reyIH she as#s%
3e sta!ds, a!d Tra*is s$urries i! to reo*e the $hair% The shutter o! JosNO222Ps +i#o! starts
$li$#i!g agai!%
G8 thi!# "e ha*e e!ough,H JosNO222P a!!ou!$es fi*e i!utes later%
G>reat,H says Eate% GTha!# you agai!, =r% >rey%H She sha#es his ha!d, as does JosNO222P%
G8 loo# for"ard to readi!g the arti$le, =iss Ea*a!agh,H ururs >rey, a!d tur!s to e,
sta!di!g by the door% GWill you "al# "ith e, =iss SteeleIH he as#s%
GSure,H 8 say, $opletely thro"!% 8 gla!$e a!1iously at Eate, "ho shrugs at e% 8 !oti$e
JosNO222P s$o"li!g behi!d her%
G>ood day to you all,H says >rey as he ope!s the door, sta!di!g aside to allo" e out first%
7oly hell0 what*s this a,out. #hat does he want. 8 pause i! the hotel $orridor, fidgeti!g
!er*ously as >rey eerges fro the roo follo"ed by =r% 0uFF9Cut i! his sharp suit%
G8ll $all you, Taylor,H he ururs to 0uFF9Cut% Taylor "a!ders ba$# do"! the $orridor, a!d
>rey tur!s his bur!i!g gray gaFe to e% Crap0 ha6e I done something wrong.
G8 "o!dered if you "ould @oi! e for $offee this or!i!g%H
=y heart slas i!to y outh% & dateI Christian $rey is as(ing me on a date. 3es as#i!g if
you "a!t a $offee% May,e he thin(s you ha6en*t wo(en up yet y sub$o!s$ious "hi!es at e i! a
s!eeri!g ood agai!% 8 $lear y throat tryi!g to $o!trol y !er*es%
G8 ha*e to dri*e e*eryo!e hoe,H 8 urur apologeti$ally, t"isti!g y ha!ds a!d fi!gers i!
fro!t of e%
GT&JL/D,H he $alls, a#i!g e @up% Taylor, "ho had bee! retreati!g do"! the $orridor,
tur!s a!d heads ba$# to"ard us%
G&re they based at the u!i*ersityIH >rey as#s, his *oi$e soft a!d i!Buiri!g% 8 !od, too stu!!ed
to spea#%
GTaylor $a! ta#e the% 3es y dri*er% We ha*e a large S1S here, so hell be able to ta#e the
eBuipe!t too%H
G=r% >reyIH Taylor as#s "he! he rea$hes us, gi*i!g !othi!g a"ay%
G.lease, $a! you dri*e the photographer, his assista!t, a!d =iss Ea*a!agh ba$# hoeIH
GCertai!ly, sir,H Taylor replies%
GThere% +o" $a! you @oi! e for $offeeIH >rey siles as if its a do!e deal%
8 fro"! at hi%
G5 C =r% >rey, err C this reallyL loo#, Taylor does!t ha*e to dri*e the hoe%H 8 flash a
brief loo# at Taylor, "ho reai!s stoi$ally ipassi*e% G8ll s"ap *ehi$les "ith Eate, if you gi*e e
a oe!t%H
>rey siles a daFFli!g, u!guarded, !atural, all9teeth9sho"i!g, glorious sile% Oh my L a!d
he ope!s the door of the suite so 8 $a! re9e!ter% 8 s$oot arou!d hi to e!ter the roo, fi!di!g
Eatheri!e i! deep dis$ussio! "ith JosNO222P%
G&!a, 8 thi!# he defi!itely li#es you,H she says "ith !o preable "hatsoe*er% JosNO222P
glares at e "ith disappro*al% G0ut 8 do!t trust hi,H she adds% 8 raise y ha!d up i! the hope that
shell stop tal#i!g% 0y soe ira$le, she does%
GEate, if you ta#e the 0eetle, $a! 8 ta#e your $arIH
GWhyIH
GChristia! >rey has as#ed e to go for $offee "ith hi%H
3er outh pops ope!% Spee$hless EateK 8 sa*or the oe!t% She grabs e by y ar a!d
drags e i!to the bedroo thats off the li*i!g area of the suite%
G&!a, theres soethi!g about hi%H 3er to!e is full of "ar!i!g% G3es gorgeous, 8 agree, but
8 thi!# hes da!gerous% Espe$ially to soeo!e li#e you%H
GWhat do you ea!, soeo!e li#e eIH 8 dea!d, affro!ted%
G&! i!!o$e!t li#e you, &!a% Jou #!o" "hat 8 ea!,H she says a little irritated% 8 flush%
GEate, its @ust $offee% 8 starti!g y e1as this "ee#, a!d 8 !eed to study, so 8 "o!t be
lo!g%H
She purses her lips as if $o!sideri!g y reBuest% Fi!ally, she fishes her $ar #eys out of her
po$#et a!d ha!ds the to e% 8 ha!d her i!e%
G8ll see you later% <o!t be lo!g, or 8ll se!d out sear$h a!d res$ue%H
GTha!#s%H 8 hug her%
8 eerge fro the suite to fi!d Christia! >rey "aiti!g, lea!i!g up agai!st the "all, loo#i!g
li#e a ale odel i! a pose for soe glossy high9e!d agaFi!e%
G/#ay, lets do $offee,H 8 urur, flushi!g a beet red%
3e gri!s%
G&fter you, =iss Steele%H 3e sta!ds up straight, holdi!g his ha!d out for e to go first%
8 a#e y "ay do"! the $orridor, y #!ees sha#y, y stoa$h full of butterflies, a!d y
heart i! y outh thupi!g a draati$ u!e*e! beat% I am going to ha6e coffee with Christian
$rey... and I hate coffee.
We "al# together do"! the "ide hotel $orridor to the ele*ators% #hat should I say to him.
=y i!d is sudde!ly paralyFed "ith apprehe!sio!% What are "e goi!g to tal# aboutI
What o! Earth do 8 ha*e i! $oo! "ith hiI 3is soft, "ar *oi$e startles e fro y
re*erie%
G3o" lo!g ha*e you #!o"! Eatheri!e Ea*a!aghIH
/h, a! easy Buestio!s for starters%
GSi!$e our fresha! year% Shes a good frie!d%H
G3,H he replies, !o!9$oittal% What is he thi!#i!gI
&t the ele*ators, he presses the $all butto!, a!d the bell ri!gs alost iediately% The doors
slide ope! re*eali!g a you!g $ouple i! a passio!ate $li!$h i!side% Surprised a!d ebarrassed, they
@up apart, stari!g guiltily i! e*ery dire$tio! but ours% >rey a!d 8 step i!to the ele*ator%
8 a struggli!g to ai!tai! a straight fa$e, so 8 gaFe do"! at the floor, feeli!g y $hee#s
tur!i!g pi!#% Whe! 8 pee# up at >rey through y lashes, he has a hi!t of a sile o! his lips, but its
*ery hard to tell% The you!g $ouple says !othi!g, a!d "e tra*el do"! to the first floor i!
ebarrassed sile!$e% We do!t e*e! ha*e trashy piped usi$ to distra$t us%
The doors ope! a!d, u$h to y surprise, >rey ta#es y ha!d, $laspi!g it "ith his lo!g $ool
fi!gers% 8 feel the $urre!t ru! through e, a!d y already rapid heartbeat a$$elerates% &s he leads
e out of the ele*ator, "e $a! hear the suppressed giggles of the $ouple erupti!g behi!d us% >rey
gri!s%
GWhat is it about ele*atorsIH he utters%
We $ross the e1pa!si*e, bustli!g lobby of the hotel to"ard the e!tra!$e but >rey a*oids the
re*ol*i!g door, a!d 8 "o!der if thats be$ause hed ha*e to let go of y ha!d%
/utside, its a ild =ay Su!day% The su! is shi!i!g a!d the traffi$ is light% >rey tur!s left a!d
strolls to the $or!er, "here "e stop "aiti!g for the lights of the pedestria! $rossi!g to $ha!ge% 3es
still holdi!g y ha!d% I*m in the street and Christian $rey is holding my hand. +o o!e has e*er
held y ha!d% 8 feel giddy, a!d 8 ti!gle all o*er% 8 attept to sother the ridi$ulous gri! that
threate!s to split y fa$e i! t"o% 1ry to ,e cool Ana y sub$o!s$ious iplores e% The gree!
a! appears, a!d "ere off agai!%
We "al# four blo$#s before "e rea$h the .ortla!d Coffee 3ouse, "here >rey releases e to
hold the door ope! so 8 $a! step i!side%
GWhy do!t you $hoose a table, "hile 8 get the dri!#s% What "ould you li#eIH he as#s, polite
as e*er%
G8ll ha*eL u C E!glish 0rea#fast tea, bag out%H
3e raises his eyebro"s%
G+o $offeeIH
G8 !ot #ee! o! $offee%H
3e siles%
G/#ay, bag out tea% SugarIH
For a oe!t, 8 stu!!ed, thi!#i!g its a! e!deare!t, but fortu!ately y sub$o!s$ious
#i$#s i! "ith pursed lips% "o stupid 2 do you ta(e sugar.
G+o tha!#s%H 8 stare do"! at y #!otted fi!gers%
G&!ythi!g to eatIH
G+o tha!# you%H 8 sha#e y head, a!d he heads to the $ou!ter%
8 surreptitiously gaFe at hi fro be!eath y lashes as he sta!ds i! li!e "aiti!g to be ser*ed%
8 $ould "at$h hi all dayL hes tall, broad9shouldered, a!d sli, a!d the "ay those pa!ts ha!g
fro his hipsL Oh my. /!$e or t"i$e he ru!s his lo!g, gra$eful fi!gers through his !o" dry but
still disorderly hair% 7mm0 I*d li(e to do that. The thought $oes u!bidde! i!to y i!d, a!d y
fa$e flaes% 8 bite y lip a!d stare do"! at y ha!ds agai! !ot li#i!g "here y "ay"ard thoughts
are headed%
G.e!!y for your thoughtsIH >rey is ba$#, startli!g e%
8 go $riso!% I was +ust thin(ing a,out running my fingers through your hair and wondering
if it would feel soft to touch. 8 sha#e y head% 3es $arryi!g a tray, "hi$h he sets do"! o! the
sall, rou!d, bir$h9*e!eer table% 3e ha!ds e a $up a!d sau$er, a sall teapot, a!d a side plate
beari!g a lo!e teabag labeled MT"i!i!gs E!glish 0rea#fast C y fa*orite% 3e has a $offee "hi$h
bears a "o!derful leaf9patter! ipri!ted i! the il#% 7ow do they do that. 8 "o!der idly% 3es also
bought hiself a blueberry uffi!% .utti!g the tray aside, he sits opposite e a!d $rosses his lo!g
legs% 3e loo#s so $ofortable, so at ease "ith his body, 8 e!*y hi% 3eres e, all ga"#y a!d
u!$oordi!ated, barely able to get fro & to 0 "ithout falli!g flat o! y fa$e%
GJour thoughtsIH he propts e%
GThis is y fa*orite tea%H =y *oi$e is Buiet, breathy% 8 siply $a!t belie*e 8 sitti!g
opposite Christia! >rey i! a $offee shop i! .ortla!d% 3e fro"!s% 3e #!o"s 8 hidi!g soethi!g% 8
pop the teabag i!to the teapot a!d alost iediately fish it out agai! "ith y teaspoo!% &s 8 pla$e
the used teabag ba$# o! the side plate, he $o$#s his head gaFi!g BuiFFi$ally at e%
G8 li#e y tea bla$# a!d "ea#,H 8 utter as a! e1pla!atio!%
G8 see% 8s he your boyfrie!dIH
#hoa0 #hat.
GWhoIH
GThe photographer% JosNO222P DodrigueF%H
8 laugh, !er*ous but $urious% What ga*e hi that ipressio!I
G+o% JosNO222Ps a good frie!d of i!e, thats all% Why did you thi!# he "as y boyfrie!dIH
GThe "ay you siled at hi, a!d he at you%H 3is gray gaFe holds i!e% 3es so u!!er*i!g% 8
"a!t to loo# a"ay but 8 $aught C spellbou!d%
G3es ore li#e faily,H 8 "hisper%
>rey !ods slightly, seei!gly satisfied "ith y respo!se, a!d gla!$es do"! at his blueberry
uffi!% 3is lo!g fi!gers deftly peel ba$# the paper, a!d 8 "at$h, fas$i!ated%
G<o you "a!t soeIH he as#s, a!d that aused, se$ret sile is ba$#%
G+o tha!#s%H 8 fro"! a!d stare do"! at y ha!ds agai!%
G&!d the boy 8 et yesterday, at the store% 3es !ot your boyfrie!dIH
G+o% .auls @ust a frie!d% 8 told you yesterday%H /h, this is getti!g silly% GWhy do you
as#IHGJou see !er*ous arou!d e!%H
3oly $rap, thats perso!al% I*m +ust ner6ous around you $rey.
G8 fi!d you i!tiidati!g%H 8 flush s$arlet, but e!tally pat yself o! the ba$# for y $a!dor,
a!d gaFe at y ha!ds agai!% 8 hear his sharp i!ta#e of breath%
GJou should fi!d e i!tiidati!g,H he !ods% GJoure *ery ho!est% .lease do!t loo# do"!% 8
li#e to see your fa$e%H
/h% 8 gla!$e at hi, a!d he gi*es e a! e!$ouragi!g but "ry sile%
G8t gi*es e soe sort of $lue "hat you ight be thi!#i!g,H he breathes% GJoure a ystery,
=iss Steele%
=ysteriousI =eI
GTheres !othi!g ysterious about e%H
G8 thi!# youre *ery self9$o!tai!ed,H he ururs%
& 8I #ow0 how am I managing that. This is be"ilderi!g% Me self;contained.
"o #ay.
GE1$ept "he! you blush, of $ourse, "hi$h is ofte!% 8 @ust "ish 8 #!e" "hat you "ere blushi!g
about%H 3e pops a sall pie$e of uffi! i!to his outh a!d starts to $he" it slo"ly, !ot ta#i!g his
eyes off e% &!d as if o! $ue, 8 blush% Crap&
G<o you al"ays a#e su$h perso!al obser*atio!sIH
G8 had!t realiFed 8 "as% 3a*e 8 offe!ded youIH 3e sou!ds surprised%
G+o,H 8 a!s"er truthfully%
G>ood%H
G0ut youre *ery high9ha!ded,H 8 retaliate Buietly%
3e raises his eyebro"s a!d, if 8 !ot ista#e!, he flushes slightly too%
G8 used to getti!g y o"! "ay, &!astasia,H he ururs% G8! all thi!gs%H
G8 do!t doubt it% Why ha*e!t you as#ed e to $all you by your first !aeIH 8 surprised by
y auda$ity% Why has this $o!*ersatio! be$oe so seriousI This is!t goi!g the "ay 8 thought it
"as goi!g to go% 8 $a!t belie*e 8 feeli!g so a!tago!isti$ to"ards hi%
8ts li#e hes tryi!g to "ar! e off%
GThe o!ly people "ho use y gi*e! !ae are y faily a!d a fe" $lose frie!ds%
Thats the "ay 8 li#e it%H
/h% 3e still has!t said, MCall e Christia!% 3e is a $o!trol frea#, theres !o other
e1pla!atio!, a!d part of e is thi!#i!g aybe it "ould ha*e bee! better if Eate had i!ter*ie"ed
hi% T"o $o!trol frea#s together% .lus of $ourse shes alost blo!de C "ell, stra"berry blo!de C
li#e all the "oe! i! his offi$e% And she*s ,eautiful y sub$o!s$ious rei!ds e% 8 do!t li#e the
idea of Christia! a!d Eate% 8 ta#e a sip of y tea, a!d >rey eats a!other sall pie$e of his uffi!%
G&re you a! o!ly $hildIH he as#s%
#hoa L he #eeps $ha!gi!g dire$tio!%
GJes%H
GTell e about your pare!ts%H
Why does he "a!t to #!o" thisI 8ts so dull.
G=y o li*es i! >eorgia "ith her !e" husba!d 0ob% =y stepdad li*es i! =o!tesa!o%H
GJour fatherIH
G=y father died "he! 8 "as a baby%H
G8 sorry,H he utters a!d a fleeti!g troubled loo# $rosses his fa$e%
G8 do!t reeber hi%H
G&!d your other rearriedIH
8 s!ort%
GJou $ould say that%H
3e fro"!s at e%
GJoure !ot gi*i!g u$h a"ay, are youIH he says dryly, rubbi!g his $hi! as if i! deep thought%
G+either are you%H
GJou*e i!ter*ie"ed e o!$e already, a!d 8 $a! re$olle$t soe Buite probi!g Buestio!s the!%H
3e sir#s at e%
7oly shit. 3es reeberi!g the Mgay Buestio!% /!$e agai!, 8 ortified% 8! years to $oe,
8 #!o", 8ll !eed i!te!si*e therapy to !ot feel this ebarrassed e*ery tie 8 re$all the oe!t% 8
start babbli!g about y other C a!ythi!g to blo$# that eory%
G=y o is "o!derful% Shes a! i!$urable roa!ti$% Shes $urre!tly o! her fourth husba!d%H
Christia! raises his eyebro"s i! surprise%
G8 iss her,H 8 $o!ti!ue% GShe has 0ob !o"% 8 @ust hope he $a! #eep a! eye o! her a!d pi$# up
the pie$es "he! her harebrai!ed s$hees do!t go as pla!!ed%H 8 sile fo!dly% 8 ha*e!t see! y
o for so lo!g% Christia! is "at$hi!g e i!te!tly, ta#i!g o$$asio!al sips of his $offee% 8 really
should!t loo# at his outh% 8ts u!settli!g% Those lips%
G<o you get alo!g "ith your stepfatherIH
G/f $ourse% 8 gre" up "ith hi% 3es the o!ly father 8 #!o"%H
G&!d "hats he li#eIH
GDayI 3esL ta$itur!%H
GThats itIH >rey as#s, surprised%
8 shrug% What does this a! e1pe$tI =y life storyI
GTa$itur! li#e his stepdaughter,H >rey propts%
8 refrai! fro rolli!g y eyes at hi%
G3e li#es so$$er C Europea! so$$er espe$ially C a!d bo"li!g, a!d fly9fishi!g, a!d a#i!g
fur!iture% 3es a $arpe!ter% E19ary%H 8 sigh%
GJou li*ed "ith hiIH
GJes% =y o et 3usba!d +uber Three "he! 8 "as fiftee!% 8 stayed "ith Day%H
3e fro"!s as if he does!t u!dersta!d%
GJou did!t "a!t to li*e "ith your oIH he as#s%
8 blush% 1his really is none of his ,usiness.
G3usba!d +uber Three li*ed i! Te1as% =y hoe "as i! =o!tesa!o% &!dL you #!o" y
o "as !e"ly arried%H 8 stop% =y o !e*er tal#s about 3usba!d +uber Three% Where is
>rey goi!g "ith thisI This is !o!e of his busi!ess% 1wo can play at this game.
GTell e about your pare!ts,H 8 as#%
3e shrugs%
G=y dads a la"yer, y o is a pediatri$ia!% They li*e i! Seattle%H
/hL hes had a! afflue!t upbri!gi!g% &!d 8 "o!der about a su$$essful $ouple "ho adopt
three #ids, a!d o!e of the tur!s i!to a beautiful a! "ho ta#es o! the busi!ess "orld a!d
$o!Buers it si!gle9ha!ded% What dro*e hi to be that "ayI 3is fol#s ust be proud%
GWhat do your sibli!gs doIH
GElliots i! $o!stru$tio!, a!d y little sister is i! .aris, studyi!g $oo#ery u!der soe
re!o"!ed Fre!$h $hef%H 3is eyes $loud "ith irritatio!% 3e does!t "a!t to tal# about his faily or
hiself%
G8 hear .aris is lo*ely,H 8 urur% Why does!t he "a!t to tal# about his failyI 8s it be$ause
hes adoptedI
G8ts beautiful% 3a*e you bee!IH he as#s, his irritatio! forgotte!%
G8*e !e*er left ai!la!d 5S&%H So !o" "ere ba$# to ba!alities% What is he hidi!gI
GWould you li#e to goIH
GTo .arisIH 8 sBuea#% This has thro"! e C "ho "ould!t "a!t to go to .arisI G/f $ourse,H 8
$o!$ede% G0ut its E!gla!d that 8d really li#e to *isit%H
3e $o$#s his head to o!e side, ru!!i!g his i!de1 fi!ger a$ross his lo"er lipL oh my.
G0e$auseIH
8 bli!# rapidly% Concentrate %teele.
G8ts the hoe of Sha#espeare, &uste!, the 0ro!tNO224P sisters, Thoas 3ardy% 8d li#e to see
the pla$es that i!spired those people to "rite su$h "o!derful boo#s%H
&ll this tal# of literary greats rei!ds e that 8 should be studyi!g% 8 gla!$e at y "at$h%
G8d better go% 8 ha*e to study%H
GFor your e1asIH
GJes% They start Tuesday%H
GWheres =iss Ea*a!aghs $arIH
G8! the hotel par#i!g lot%H
G8ll "al# you ba$#%H
GTha!# you for the tea, =r% >rey%H
3e siles his odd I*6e got a whopping ,ig secret sile%
GJoure "el$oe, &!astasia% 8ts y pleasure% Coe,H he $oa!ds, a!d holds his ha!d out
to e% 8 ta#e it, beused, a!d follo" hi out of the $offee shop%
We stroll ba$# to the hotel, a!d 8d li#e to say its i! $opa!io!able sile!$e% 3e at least loo#s
his usual $al, $olle$ted self% &s for e, 8 desperately tryi!g to gauge ho" our little $offee
or!i!g has go!e% 8 feel li#e 8*e bee! i!ter*ie"ed for a positio!, but 8 !ot sure "hat it is%
G<o you al"ays "ear @ea!sIH he as#s out of the blue%
G=ostly%H
3e !ods% Were ba$# at the i!terse$tio!, a$ross the road fro the hotel% =y i!d is reeli!g%
#hat an odd 3uestion0 &!d 8 a"are that our tie together is liited% This is it% This "as it, a!d
8*e $opletely blo"! it, 8 #!o"% .erhaps he has soeo!e%
G<o you ha*e a girlfrie!dIH 8 blurt out% 3oly $rap 9 I +ust said that out loud.
3is lips Buir# up i! a half9sile, a!d he loo#s do"! at e%
G+o, &!astasia% 8 do!t do the girlfrie!d thi!g,H he says softly%
/hL what does that mean. 3es !ot gayI /h, aybe he is 9 $rapK 3e ust ha*e lied to e
i! his i!ter*ie"% &!d for a oe!t, 8 thi!# hes goi!g to follo" o! "ith soe e1pla!atio!, soe
$lue to this $rypti$ statee!t C but he does!t% 8 ha*e to go% 8 ha*e to try to reasseble y thoughts%
8 ha*e to get a"ay fro hi% 8 "al# for"ard, a!d 8 trip, stubli!g headlo!g o!to the road%
GShit, &!aKH >rey $ries% 3e tugs the ha!d that hes holdi!g so hard that 8 fall ba$# agai!st hi
@ust as a $y$list "hips past, !arro"ly issi!g e, headi!g the "ro!g "ay up this o!e9"ay street%
8t all happe!s so fast C o!e i!ute 8 falli!g, the !e1t 8 i! his ars, a!d hes holdi!g e
tightly agai!st his $hest% %8 i!hale his $lea!, *ital s$e!t% 3e sells of fresh lau!dered li!e! a!d soe
e1pe!si*e body9"ash% Oh my its i!to1i$ati!g% 8 i!hale deeply%
G&re you o#ayIH he "hispers% 3e has o!e ar arou!d e, $laspi!g e to hi, "hile the
fi!gers of his other ha!d softly tra$e y fa$e, ge!tly probi!g, e1ai!i!g e% 3is thub brushes y
lo"er lip, a!d 8 hear his breath hit$h% 3es stari!g i!to y eyes, a!d 8 hold his a!1ious, bur!i!g
gaFe for a oe!t or aybe its fore*erL but e*e!tually, y atte!tio! is dra"! to his beautiful
outh% Oh my. &!d for the first tie i! t"e!ty9o!e years, 8 "a!t to be #issed% 8 "a!t to feel his
outh o! e%
!iss me damn it& 8 iplore hi, but 8 $a!t o*e% 8 paralyFed "ith a stra!ge, u!failiar
!eed, $opletely $apti*ated by hi% 8 stari!g at Christia! >reys e1Buisitely s$ulptured outh,
eseriFed, a!d hes loo#i!g do"! at e, his gaFe hooded, his eyes dar#e!i!g%
3es breathi!g harder tha! usual, a!d 8*e stopped breathi!g altogether% I*m in your arms.
!iss me please. 3e $loses his eyes, ta#es a deep breath, a!d gi*es e a sall sha#e of his
head as if i! a!s"er to y sile!t Buestio!% Whe! he ope!s his eyes agai!, its "ith soe !e"
purpose, a steely resol*e%
G&!astasia, you should steer $lear of e% 8 !ot the a! for you,H he "hispers%
#hat. #here is this coming from. Surely 8 should be the @udge of that% 8 fro"! up at hi,
a!d y head s"is "ith re@e$tio!%
G0reathe, &!astasia, breathe% 8 goi!g to sta!d you up a!d let you go,H he says Buietly, a!d
he ge!tly pushes e a"ay%
&dre!ali!e has spi#ed through y body, fro the !ear iss "ith the $y$list or the heady
pro1iity to Christia!, lea*i!g e "ired a!d "ea#% "O& =y psy$he s$reas as he pulls a"ay,
lea*i!g e bereft% 3e has his ha!ds o! y shoulders, holdi!g e at ars le!gth, "at$hi!g y
rea$tio!s $arefully% &!d the o!ly thi!g 8 $a! thi!# is that 8 "a!ted to be #issed, ade it pretty
da!ed ob*ious, a!d he did!t do it% 7e doesn*t want me. 3e really does!t "a!t e% 8 ha*e
royally s$re"ed up the $offee or!i!g%
G8*e got this,H 8 breathe, fi!di!g y *oi$e% GTha!# you,H 8 utter a"ash "ith huiliatio!%
3o" $ould 8 ha*e isread the situatio! bet"ee! us so utterlyI 8 !eed to get a"ay fro hi%
GFor "hatIH he fro"!s% 3e has!t ta#e! his ha!ds off e%
GFor sa*i!g e,H 8 "hisper%
GThat idiot "as ridi!g the "ro!g "ay% 8 glad 8 "as here% 8 shudder to thi!# "hat $ould ha*e
happe!ed to you% <o you "a!t to $oe a!d sit do"! i! the hotel for a oe!tIH 3e releases e,
his ha!ds by his sides, a!d 8 sta!di!g i! fro!t of hi feeli!g li#e a fool%
With a sha#e, 8 $lear y head% 8 @ust "a!t to go% &ll y *ague, u!arti$ulated hopes ha*e bee!
dashed% 3e does!t "a!t e% #hat was I thin(ing. 8 s$old yself% #hat would Christian $rey
want with you. =y sub$o!s$ious o$#s e% 8 "rap y ars arou!d yself a!d tur! to fa$e the
road a!d !ote "ith relief that the gree! a! has appeared% 8 Bui$#ly a#e y "ay a$ross, $o!s$ious
that >rey is behi!d e% /utside the hotel, 8 tur! briefly to fa$e hi but $a!!ot loo# hi i! the eye%
GTha!#s for the tea a!d doi!g the photo shoot,H 8 urur%
G&!astasiaL 8L H 3e stops, a!d the a!guish i! his *oi$e dea!ds y atte!tio!, so 8 peer
u!"illi!gly up at hi% 3is gray eyes are blea# as he ru!s his ha!d through his hair%
3e loo#s tor!, frustrated, his e1pressio! star#, all his $areful $o!trol has e*aporated%
GWhat, Christia!IH 8 s!ap irritably after he says C !othi!g% 8 @ust "a!t to go% 8 !eed to ta#e y
fragile, "ou!ded pride a"ay a!d soeho" !urse it ba$# to health%
G>ood lu$# "ith your e1as,H he ururs%
7uh. This is "hy he loo#s so desolateI This is the big se!d offI Just to "ish e lu$# i! y
e1asI
GTha!#s%H 8 $a!t disguise the sar$as i! y *oi$e% G>oodbye, =r% >rey%H 8 tur! o! y heel,
*aguely aaFed that 8 do!t trip, a!d "ithout gi*i!g hi a se$o!d gla!$e, 8 disappear do"! the
side"al# to"ard the u!dergrou!d garage%
/!$e u!der!eath the dar#, $old $o!$rete of the garage "ith its blea# fluores$e!t light, 8 lea!
agai!st the "all a!d put y head i! y ha!ds% What "as 8 thi!#i!gI 5!bidde! a!d u!"el$oe
tears pool i! y eyes% #hy am I crying. 8 si!# to the grou!d, a!gry at yself for this se!seless
rea$tio!% <ra"i!g up y #!ees, 8 fold i! o! yself% 8 "a!t to a#e yself as sall as possible%
.erhaps this !o!se!si$al pai! "ill be saller the saller 8 a%
.la$i!g y head o! y #!ees, 8 let the irratio!al tears fall u!restrai!ed% 8 a $ryi!g o*er the
loss of soethi!g 8 !e*er had% 7ow ridiculous. =our!i!g soethi!g that !e*er "as C
y dashed hopes, dashed dreas, a!d y soured e1pe$tatio!s%
8 ha*e !e*er bee! o! the re$ei*i!g e!d of re@e$tio!% /#ayL so 8 "as al"ays o!e of the last to
be pi$#ed for bas#etball or *olleyball C but 8 u!derstood that C ru!!i!g a!d doi!g soethi!g else at
the sae tie li#e bou!$i!g or thro"i!g a ball is !ot y thi!g% 8 a a serious liability i! a!y
sporti!g field%
Doa!ti$ally, though, 8*e !e*er put yself out there, e*er% & lifetie of i!se$urity
C 8 too pale, too s#i!!y, too s$ruffy, u!$oordi!ated, y lo!g list of faults goes o!% So 8 ha*e
al"ays bee! the o!e to rebuff a!y "ould be adirers% There "as that guy i! y $heistry $lass
"ho li#ed e, but !o o!e has e*er spar#ed y i!terest C !o o!e e1$ept Christia! da! >rey%
=aybe 8 should be #i!der to the li#es of .aul Clayto! a!d JosNO222P DodrigueF, though 8 sure
!either of the ha*e bee! fou!d sobbi!g alo!e i! dar# pla$es%
.erhaps 8 @ust !eed a good $ry%
%top& %top "ow& ; =y sub$o!s$ious is etaphori$ally s$reai!g at e, ars folded, lea!i!g
o! o!e leg a!d tappi!g her foot i! frustratio!% $et in the car go home do your studying. 'orget
a,out him0 "ow& &!d stop all this self9pityi!g, "allo"i!g $rap%
8 ta#e a deep, steadyi!g breath a!d sta!d up% $et it together %teele. 8 head for Eates $ar,
"ipi!g the tears off y fa$e as 8 do% 8 "ill !ot thi!# of hi agai!% 8 $a! @ust $hal# this i!$ide!t up to
e1perie!$e a!d $o!$e!trate o! y e1as%
Eate is sitti!g at the di!i!g table at her laptop "he! 8 arri*e% 3er "el$oi!g sile fades "he!
she sees e%
G&!a "hats "ro!gIH
/h !oL !ot the Eatheri!e Ea*a!agh 8!Buisitio!% 8 sha#e y head at her i! a ,ac(;off now
!a6anagh way C but 8 ight as "ell be deali!g "ith a bli!d, deaf ute%
GJou*e bee! $ryi!g,H she has a! e1$eptio!al gift for stati!g the da!ed ob*ious soeties%
GWhat did that bastard do to youIH she gro"ls, a!d her fa$e C @eeF, shes s$ary%
G+othi!g Eate%H Thats a$tually the proble% The thought bri!gs a "ry sile to y
fa$e%GThe! "hy ha*e you bee! $ryi!gI Jou !e*er $ry,H she says, her *oi$e softe!i!g% She sta!ds,
her gree! eyes brii!g "ith $o!$er!% She puts her ars arou!d e a!d hugs e%
8 !eed to say soethi!g @ust to get her to ba$# off%
G8 "as !early #!o$#ed o*er by a $y$list%H 8ts the best that 8 $a! do, but it distra$ts her
oe!tarily froL hi%
GJeeF &!a C are you o#ayI Were you hurtIH She holds e at ars le!gth a!d does a Bui$#
*isual $he$#9up o! e%
G+o% Christia! sa*ed e,H 8 "hisper% G0ut 8 "as Buite sha#e!%H
G8 !ot surprised% 3o" "as $offeeI 8 #!o" you hate $offee%H
G8 had tea% 8t "as fi!e, !othi!g to report really% 8 do!t #!o" "hy he as#ed e%H
G3e li#es you &!a%H She drops her ars%
G+ot a!yore% 8 "o!t be seei!g hi agai!%H Jes, 8 a!age to sou!d atter of fa$t%
G/hIH
Crap% Shes i!trigued% 8 head i!to the #it$he! so that she $a!t see y fa$e%
GJeahL hes a little out of y league Eate,H 8 say as dryly as 8 $a! a!age%
GWhat do you ea!IH
G/h Eate, its ob*ious%H 8 "hirl rou!d a!d fa$e her as she sta!ds i! the #it$he! door"ay%G+ot
to e,H she says% G/#ay, hes got ore o!ey tha! you, but the! he has ore o!ey tha! ost
people i! &eri$aKH
GEate hesC H 8 shrug%
G&!aK For hea*e!s sa#e C ho" a!y ties ust 8 tell youI Joure a total babe,H she
i!terrupts e% /h !o% Shes off o! this tirade agai!%
GEate, please% 8 !eed to study%H 8 $ut her short% She fro"!s%
G<o you "a!t to see the arti$leI 8ts fi!ished% JosNO222P too# soe great pi$tures%H
<o 8 !eed a *isual rei!der of the beautiful Christia! I;don*t;want;you >reyI
GSure,H 8 agi$ a sile o! to y fa$e a!d stroll o*er to the laptop% &!d there he is, stari!g at
e i! bla$# a!d "hite, stari!g at e a!d fi!di!g e la$#i!g%
8 prete!d to read the arti$le, all the tie eeti!g his steady gray gaFe, sear$hi!g the photo for
soe $lue as to "hy hes !ot the a! for e C his o"! "ords to e% &!d its sudde!ly, bli!di!gly
ob*ious% 3es too gloriously good9loo#i!g% We are poles apart a!d fro t"o *ery differe!t "orlds% 8
ha*e a *isio! of yself as 8$arus flyi!g too $lose to the su! a!d $rashi!g a!d bur!i!g as a result%
3is "ords a#e se!se% 3es !ot the a! for e%
This is "hat he ea!t, a!d it a#es his re@e$tio! easier to a$$eptL alost% 8 $a! li*e "ith
this% 8 u!dersta!d%
GAery good Eate,H 8 a!age% G8 goi!g to study%H 8 a !ot goi!g to thi!# about hi agai!
for !o", 8 *o" to yself, a!d ope!i!g y re*isio! !otes, 8 start to read%
8ts o!ly "he! 8 i! bed, tryi!g to sleep, that 8 allo" y thoughts to drift through y stra!ge
or!i!g% 8 #eep $oi!g ba$# to the -I don*t do the girlfriend thing* Buote, a!d 8 a!gry that 8
did!t pou!$e o! this i!foratio! soo!er, "he! 8 "as i! his ars e!tally beggi!g hi "ith e*ery
fiber of y bei!g to #iss e% 3ed said it there a!d the!% 3e did!t "a!t e as a girlfrie!d% 8 tur! o!
to y side% 8dly, 8 "o!der if perhaps hes $elibateI 8 $lose y eyes a!d begi! to drift% =aybe hes
sa*i!g hiself% #ell not for you y sleepy sub$o!s$ious has a fi!al s"ipe at e before
u!leashi!g itself o! y dreas%
&!d that !ight, 8 drea of gray eyes, leafy patter!s i! il#, a!d 8 ru!!i!g through dar#
pla$es "ith eerie strip lighti!g, a!d 8 do!t #!o" if 8 ru!!i!g to"ard soethi!g or a"ay fro
itL its @ust !ot $lear%
8 put y pe! do"!% Fi!ished% =y fi!al e1a is o*er% 8 feel the Cheshire $at gri! spread o*er
y fa$e% 8ts probably the first tie all "ee# that 8*e siled% 8ts Friday, a!d "e shall be
$elebrati!g to!ight, really $elebrati!g% 8 ight e*e! get dru!#K 8*e !e*er bee! dru!# before% 8
gla!$e a$ross the sports hall at Eate, a!d shes still s$ribbli!g furiously, fi*e i!utes to the e!d%
This is it, the e!d of y a$adei$ $areer% 8 shall !e*er ha*e to sit i! ro"s of a!1ious, isolated
stude!ts agai!% 8!side 8 doi!g gra$eful $art"heels arou!d y head, #!o"i!g full "ell thats the
o!ly pla$e 8 $a! do gra$eful $art"heels% Eate stops "riti!g a!d puts her pe! do"!% She gla!$es
a$ross at e, a!d 8 $at$h her Cheshire $at sile too%
We head ba$# to our aparte!t together i! her =er$edes, refusi!g to dis$uss our fi!al paper%
Eate is ore $o!$er!ed about "hat shes goi!g to "ear to the bar this e*e!i!g% 8 a busily fishi!g
arou!d i! y purse for y #eys%
G&!a, theres a pa$#age for you%H Eate is sta!di!g o! the steps up to the fro!t door holdi!g a
bro"! paper par$el% Odd. 8 ha*e!t ordered a!ythi!g fro &aFo! re$e!tly%
Eate gi*es e the par$el a!d ta#es y #eys to ope! the fro!t door% 8ts addressed to =iss
&!astasia Steele% Theres !o se!ders address or !ae% .erhaps its fro y o or Day%
G8ts probably fro y fol#s%H
G/pe! itKH Eate is e1$ited as she heads i!to the #it$he! for our ME1as are fi!ished hurrah
Chapag!e%
8 ope! the par$el, a!d i!side 8 fi!d a half leather bo1 $o!tai!i!g three seei!gly ide!ti9$al old
$loth9$o*ered boo#s i! i!t $o!ditio! a!d a plai! "hite $ard% Writte! o! o!e side, i! bla$# i!# i!
!eat $ursi*e ha!d"riti!g, is:
8 re$og!iFe the Buote fro 1ess. 8 a stu!!ed by the iro!y as 8*e @ust spe!t three hours
"riti!g about the !o*els of Thoas 3ardy i! y fi!al e1ai!atio!% .erhaps there is !o iro!yL
perhaps its deliberate% 8 i!spe$t the boo#s $losely, three *olues of 1ess of the 4*5r,er6illes. 8
ope! the fro!t $o*er% Writte! i! a! old typefa$e o! the fro!t plate is:
MLo!do!: Ja$# D% /sgood, =$8l*ai!e a!d Co%, 1)'1%
3oly shit 9 they are first editio!s% They ust be "orth a fortu!e, a!d 8 #!o" iediately
"hos se!t the% Eate is at y shoulder gaFi!g at the boo#s% She pi$#s up the $ard%
GFirst Editio!s,H 8 "hisper%
G+o%H Eates eyes are "ide "ith disbelief% G>reyIH
8 !od%
GCa!t thi!# of a!yo!e else%H
GWhat does this $ard ea!IH
G8 ha*e !o idea% 8 thi!# its a "ar!i!g C ho!estly he #eeps "ar!i!g e off% 8 ha*e !o idea "hy%
8ts !ot li#e 8 beati!g his door do"!%H 8 fro"!%
G8 #!o" you do!t "a!t to tal# about hi, &!a, but hes seriously i!to you% War!i!gs or !o%H
8 ha*e !ot let yself d"ell o! Christia! >rey for the past "ee#% /#ayL so his gray eyes are
still hau!ti!g y dreas, a!d 8 #!o" it "ill ta#e a! eter!ity to e1pu!ge the feel of his ars arou!d
e a!d his "o!derful fragra!$e fro y brai!% Why has he se!t e thisI
3e told e that 8 "as!t for hi%
G8*e fou!d o!e 1ess first editio! for sale i! +e" Jor# at R1S,000% 0ut yours loo#s i! u$h
better $o!ditio!% They ust ha*e $ost ore%H Eate is $o!sulti!g her good frie!d >oogle%
GThis Buote C Tess says it to her other after &le$ <5rber*ille has had his "i$#ed "ay "ith
her%H
G8 #!o",H uses Eate% GWhat is he tryi!g to sayIH
G8 do!t #!o", a!d 8 do!t $are% 8 $a!t a$$ept these fro hi% 8ll se!d the ba$# "ith a!
eBually baffli!g Buote fro soe obs$ure part of the boo#%H
GThe bit "here &!gel Clare says fu$# offIH Eate as#s "ith a $opletely straight fa$e%
GJes, that bit%H 8 giggle% 8 lo*e Eate, shes so loyal a!d supporti*e% 8 repa$# the boo#s a!d
lea*e the o! the di!i!g table% Eate ha!ds e a glass of $hapag!e%
GTo the e!d of e1as a!d our !e" life i! Seattle,H she gri!s%
GTo the e!d of e1as, our !e" life i! Seattle, a!d e1$elle!t results%H We $li!# glasses a!d
dri!#%
The bar is loud a!d he$ti$, full of soo! to be graduates out to get trashed% JosNO222P @oi!s us%
3e "o!t graduate for a!other year, but hes i! the ood to party a!d gets us i!to the spirit of our
!e"fou!d freedo by buyi!g a pit$her of argaritas for us all% &s 8 do"! y fifth, 8 #!o" this is
!ot a good idea o! top of the $hapag!e%
GSo "hat !o" &!aIH JosNO222P shouts at e o*er the !oise%
GEate a!d 8 are o*i!g to Seattle% Eates pare!ts ha*e bought a $o!do there for her%H
G<ios io, ho" the other half li*e% 0ut youll be ba$# for y sho"%H
G/f $ourse, JosNO222P, 8 "ould!t iss it for the "orld%H 8 sile, a!d he puts his ar arou!d
y "aist a!d pulls e $lose%
G8t ea!s a lot to e that youll be there &!a,H he "hispers i! y ear% G&!other argaritaIH
GJosNO222P Luis DodrigueF C are you tryi!g to get e dru!#I 0e$ause 8 thi!# its "or#i!g%H
8 giggle% G8 thi!# 8d better ha*e a beer% 8ll go get us a pit$her%H
G=ore dri!#, &!aKH Eate bello"s%
Eate has the $o!stitutio! of a! o1% Shes got her ar draped o*er Le*i, o!e of our fello"
E!glish stude!ts a!d her usual photographer o! her stude!t !e"spaper% 3es gi*e! up ta#i!g photos
of the dru!#e!!ess that surrou!ds hi% 3e o!ly has eyes for Eate% Shes all ti!y $aisole, tight
@ea!s, a!d high heels, hair piled high "ith te!drils ha!gi!g do"! softly arou!d her fa$e, her usual
stu!!i!g self% =e, 8 ore of a Co!*erse a!d t9shirt #i!d of girl, but 8 "eari!g y ost
flatteri!g @ea!s% 8 o*e out of JosNO222Ps hold a!d get up fro our table% Whoa% 3ead spi!% 8 ha*e
to grab the ba$# of the $hair% TeBuila based $o$#tails are !ot a good idea%
8 a#e y "ay to the bar a!d de$ide that 8 should *isit the po"der roo "hile 8 a o! y
feet% $ood thin(ing Ana. 8 stagger off through the $ro"d% /f $ourse, theres a li!e, but at least its
Buiet a!d $ool i! the $orridor% 8 rea$h for y $ell pho!e to relie*e the boredo of "aiti!g i! li!e%
7mm0 #ho did I last call. Was it JosNO222PI 0efore that a !uber 8 do!t re$og!iFe% /h yes%
>rey, 8 thi!# this is his !uber% 8 giggle% 8 ha*e !o idea "hat the tie is, aybe 8ll "a#e hi%
.erhaps he $a! tell e "hy he se!t e those boo#s a!d the $rypti$ essage% 8f he "a!ts e to stay
a"ay, he should lea*e e alo!e% 8 suppress a dru!#e! gri! a!d hit the autoati$ re9dial% 3e a!s"ers
o! the se$o!d ri!g%
G&!astasiaIH 3es surprised to hear fro e% Well, fra!#ly, 8 surprised to ri!g hi%
The! y befuddled brai! registersL ho" does he #!o" its eI
GWhy did you se!d e the boo#sIH 8 slur at hi%
G&!astasia, are you o#ayI Jou sou!d stra!ge%H 3is *oi$e is filled "ith $o!$er!%
G8 !ot the stra!ge o!e, you are,H 8 a$$use% There 9 that told hi, y $ourage fuelled by
al$ohol%
G&!astasia, ha*e you bee! dri!#i!gIH
GWhats it to youIH
G8 C $urious% Where are youIH
G8! a bar%H
GWhi$h barIH 3e sou!ds e1asperated%
G& bar i! .ortla!d%H
G3o" are you getti!g hoeIH
G8ll fi!d a "ay%H This $o!*ersatio! is !ot goi!g ho" 8 e1pe$ted%
GWhi$h bar are you i!IH
GWhy did you se!d e the boo#s, Christia!IH
G&!astasia, "here are you, tell e !o"%H 3is to!e is so, so di$tatorial, his usual $o!trol frea#%
8 iagi!e hi as a! old tie o*ie dire$tor "eari!g @odhpurs, holdi!g a! old fashio!ed egapho!e
a!d a ridi!g $rop% The iage a#es e laugh out loud%
GJoure soL doi!eeri!g,H 8 giggle%
G&!a, so help e, "here the fu$# are youIH
Christia! >rey is s"eari!g at e% 8 giggle agai!% G8 i! .ortla!dL sa lo!g "ay fro
Seattle%H
GWhere i! .ortla!dIH
G>ood!ight, Christia!%H
G&!aKH
8 ha!g up% 3aK Though he did!t tell e about the boo#s% 8 fro"!% =issio! !ot a$$oplished%
8 a really Buite dru!# 9 y head s"is u!$ofortably as 8 shuffle "ith the li!e% Well, the ob@e$t of
the e1er$ise "as to get dru!#% 8 ha*e su$$eeded% This is "hat its li#e C pro,a,ly not an e<perience
to ,e repeated. The li!e has o*ed, a!d its !o" y tur!% 8 stare bla!#ly at the poster o! the ba$#
of the toilet door that e1tols the *irtues of safe se1% 3oly $rap, did 8 @ust $all Christia! >reyI Shit%
=y pho!e ri!gs a!d it a#es e @up% 8 yelp i! surprise%
G3i,H 8 bleat tiidly i! to the pho!e% 8 had!t re$#o!ed o! this%
G8 $oi!g to get you,H he says a!d ha!gs up% /!ly Christia! >rey $ould sou!d so $al a!d
so threate!i!g at the sae tie%
7oly crap. 8 pull y @ea!s up% =y heart is thupi!g% Coi!g to get eI Oh no. 8 goi!g
to be si$#L !oL 8 fi!e% 3a!g o!% 3es @ust essi!g "ith y head% 8 did!t tell hi "here 8 "as%
3e $a!t fi!d e here% 0esides, it "ill ta#e hi hours to get here fro Seattle, a!d "ell be lo!g
go!e by the!% 8 "ash y ha!ds a!d $he$# y fa$e i! the irror%
8 loo# flushed a!d slightly u!fo$used% 7mm0 te3uila.
8 "ait at the bar for "hat feels li#e a! eter!ity for the pit$her of beer a!d e*e!tually retur! to
the table%
GJou*e bee! go!e so lo!g%H Eate s$olds e% GWhere "ere youIH
G8 "as i! li!e for the restroo%H
JosNO222P a!d Le*i are ha*i!g soe heated debate about our lo$al baseball tea% JosNO222P
pauses i! his tirade to pour us all beers, a!d 8 ta#e a lo!g sip%
GEate, 8 thi!# 8d better step outside a!d get soe fresh air%H
G&!a, you are su$h a light"eight%H
G8ll be fi*e i!utes%H
8 a#e y "ay through the $ro"d agai!% 8 a begi!!i!g to feel !auseous, y head is
spi!!i!g u!$ofortably, a!d 8 a little u!steady o! y feet% =ore u!steady tha! usual%
<ri!#i!g i! the $ool e*e!i!g air i! the par#i!g lot a#es e realiFe ho" dru!# 8 a%
=y *isio! has bee! affe$ted, a!d 8 really seei!g double of e*erythi!g li#e i! old re9ru!s of
1om and =erry Cartoons. 8 thi!# 8 goi!g to be si$#% Why did 8 let yself get this essed upI
G&!a,H JosNO222P has @oi!ed e% GJou o#ayIH
G8 thi!# 8*e @ust had a bit too u$h to dri!#%H 8 sile "ea#ly at hi%
G=e too,H he ururs, a!d his dar# eyes are "at$hi!g e i!te!tly% G<o you !eed a ha!dIH he
as#s a!d steps $loser, putti!g his ar arou!d e%
GJosNO222P 8 o#ay% 8*e got this%H 8 try a!d push hi a"ay rather feebly%
G&!a, please,H he "hispers, a!d !o" hes holdi!g e i! his ars, pulli!g e $lose%
GJosNO222P, "hat you doi!gIH
GJou #!o" 8 li#e you &!a, please%H 3e has o!e ha!d at the sall of y ba$# holdi!g e
agai!st hi, the other at y $hi! tippi!g ba$# y head% 7oly fuc(0 he*s going to (iss me. G+o
JosNO222P, stop C !o%H 8 push hi, but hes a "all of hard us$le, a!d 8 $a!!ot shift hi%
3is ha!d has slipped i!to y hair, a!d hes holdi!g y head i! pla$e%
G.lease, &!a, $ariNO2S1Pa,H he "hispers agai!st y lips% 3is breath is soft a!d sells too
s"eet C of argarita a!d beer% 3e ge!tly trails #isses alo!g y @a" up to the side of y outh% 8
feel pa!i$#y, dru!#, a!d out of $o!trol% The feeli!g is suffo$ati!g%
GJosNO222P, !o,H 8 plead% I don*t want this. Jou are y frie!d, a!d 8 thi!# 8 goi!g to
thro" up% G8 thi!# the lady said !o%H & *oi$e i! the dar# says Buietly% 3oly shitK Christia! >rey, hes
here% 3o"I JosNO222P releases e%
G>rey,H he says tersely% 8 gla!$e a!1iously up at Christia!% 3es glo"eri!g at JosNO222P, a!d
hes furious% Crap% =y stoa$h hea*es, a!d 8 double o*er, y body !o lo!ger able to tolerate the
al$ohol, a!d 8 *oit spe$ta$ularly o! to the grou!d%
G5gh C <ios io, &!aKH JosNO222P @ups ba$# i! disgust% >rey grabs y hair a!d pulls it out
of the firi!g li!e a!d ge!tly leads e o*er to a raised flo"erbed o! the edge of the par#i!g lot% 8
!ote, "ith deep gratitude, that its i! relati*e dar#!ess%
G8f youre goi!g to thro" up agai!, do it here% 8ll hold you%H 3e has o!e ar arou!d y
shoulders C the other is holdi!g y hair i! a a#eshift po!ytail do"! y ba$# so its off y fa$e% 8
try a"#"ardly to push hi a"ay, but 8 *oit agai!L a!d agai!% Oh shit0
how long is this going to last. E*e! "he! y stoa$hs epty a!d !othi!g is $oi!g up,
horrible dry hea*es "ra$# y body% 8 *o" sile!tly that 8ll !e*er e*er dri!# agai!% This is @ust too
appalli!g for "ords% Fi!ally, it stops%
=y ha!ds are resti!g o! the bri$# "all of the flo"erbed, barely holdi!g e up 9 *oiti!g
profusely is e1hausti!g% >rey ta#es his ha!ds off e a!d passes e a ha!d#er$hief%
/!ly he "ould ha*e a o!ograed, freshly lau!dered, li!e! ha!d#er$hief% C1$. 8 did!t
#!o" you $ould still buy these% Aaguely 8 "o!der "hat the T sta!ds for as 8 "ipe y outh% 8
$a!!ot bri!g yself to loo# at hi% 8 s"aped "ith shae, disgusted "ith yself% 8 "a!t to be
s"allo"ed up by the aFaleas i! the flo"erbed a!d be a!y"here but here%JosNO222P is still ho*eri!g
by the e!tra!$e to the bar, "at$hi!g us% 8 groa! a!d put y head i! y ha!ds% This has to be the
si!gle "orst oe!t of y life% =y head is still s"ii!g as 8 try to reeber a "orse o!e C a!d 8
$a! o!ly $oe up "ith Christia!s re@e$tio! C a!d this is so, so a!y shades dar#er i! ters of
huiliatio!% 8 ris# a pee# at hi% 3es stari!g do"! at e, his fa$e $oposed, gi*i!g !othi!g a"ay%
Tur!i!g, 8 gla!$e at JosNO222P "ho loo#s pretty shaefa$ed hiself a!d, li#e e, i!tiidated by
>rey% 8 glare at hi% 8 ha*e a fe" $hoi$e "ords for y so9$alled frie!d, !o!e of "hi$h 8 $a! repeat
i! fro!t of Christia! >rey CE/% Ana who are you (idding he*s +ust seen you hurl all o6er the
ground and into the local flora. 1here*s no disguising your lac( of ladyli(e ,eha6ior.
G8ll errL see you i!side,H JosNO222P utters, but "e both ig!ore hi, a!d he sli!#s off ba$#
i!to the buildi!g% 8 o! y o"! "ith >rey% <ouble $rap% What should 8 say to hiI
&pologiFe for the pho!e $all%
G8 sorry,H 8 utter, stari!g at the ha!d#er$hief "hi$h 8 a furiously "orryi!g "ith y
fi!gers% It*s so soft.
GWhat are you sorry for &!astasiaIH
/h $rap, he "a!ts his da!ed pou!d of flesh%
GThe pho!e $all ai!ly, bei!g si$#% /h, the list is e!dless,H 8 urur, feeli!g y s#i!
$olori!g up% /lease please can I die now.
GWe*e all bee! here, perhaps !ot Buite as draati$ally as you,H he says dryly% G8ts about
#!o"i!g your liits, &!astasia% 8 ea!, 8 all for pushi!g liits, but really this is beyo!d the pale%
<o you a#e a habit of this #i!d of beha*iorIH
=y head buFFes "ith e1$ess al$ohol a!d irritatio!% What the hell has it got to do "ith hiI 8
did!t i!*ite hi here% 3e sou!ds li#e a iddle9aged a! s$oldi!g e li#e a! erra!t $hild% .art of
e "a!ts to say, if 8 "a!t to get dru!# e*ery !ight li#e this, the! its y de$isio! a!d !othi!g to do
"ith hi C but 8 !ot bra*e e!ough% +ot !o" that 8*e thro"! up i! fro!t of hi% Why is he still
sta!di!g thereI
G+o,H 8 say $o!tritely% G8*e !e*er bee! dru!# before a!d right !o" 8 ha*e !o desire to e*er be
agai!%H
8 @ust do!t u!dersta!d "hy hes here% 8 begi! to feel fai!t% 3e !oti$es y diFFi!ess a!d grabs
e before 8 fall a!d hoists e i!to his ars, holdi!g e $lose to his $hest li#e a $hild%
GCoe o!, 8ll ta#e you hoe,H he ururs%
G8 !eed to tell Eate%H 7oly Moses I*m in his arms again.
G=y brother $a! tell her%H
GWhatIH
G=y brother Elliot is tal#i!g to =iss Ea*a!agh%H
G/hIH 8 do!t u!dersta!d%
G3e "as "ith e "he! you pho!ed%H
G8! SeattleIH 8 $o!fused%
G+o, 8 stayi!g at the 3eatha!%H
%till. #hy.
G3o" did you fi!d eIH
G8 tra$#ed your $ell pho!e &!astasia%H
/h, of $ourse he did% 3o" is that possibleI 8s it legalI %tal(er y sub$o!s$ious "hispers at
e through the $loud of teBuila thats still floati!g i! y brai!, but soeho", be$ause its hi, 8
do!t i!d%
G<o you ha*e a @a$#et or a purseIH
GErrL yes, 8 $ae "ith both% Christia!, please, 8 !eed to tell Eate% Shell "orry%H 3is outh
presses i!to a hard li!e, a!d he sighs hea*ily%
G8f you ust%H
3e sets e do"!, a!d, ta#i!g y ha!d, leads e ba$# i!to the bar% 8 feel "ea#, still dru!#,
ebarrassed, e1hausted, ortified, a!d o! soe stra!ge le*el absolutely off the s$ale thrilled% 3es
$lut$hi!g y ha!d C su$h a $o!fusi!g array of eotio!s% 8ll !eed at least a "ee# to pro$ess the
all%
8ts !oisy, $ro"ded, a!d the usi$ has started so there is a large $ro"d o! the da!$e floor%
Eate is !ot at our table, a!d JosNO222P has disappeared% Le*i loo#s lost a!d forlor! o! his
o"!%GWheres EateIH 8 shout at Le*i abo*e the !oise% =y head is begi!!i!g to pou!d i! tie to the
thupi!g bass li!e of the usi$%
G<a!$i!g,H Le*i shouts, a!d 8 $a! tell hes ad% 3es eyei!g Christia! suspi$iously%
8 struggle i!to y bla$# @a$#et a!d pla$e y sall shoulder bag o*er y head so it sits at y
hip% 8 ready to go, o!$e 8*e see! Eate%
GShes o! the da!$e floor,H 8 tou$h Christia!s ar a!d lea! up a!d shout i! his ear, brushi!g
his hair "ith y !ose, selli!g his $lea!, fresh sell% Oh my. &ll those forbidde!, u!failiar
feeli!gs that 8 ha*e tried to de!y surfa$e a!d ru! ao# through y drai!ed body% 8 flush, a!d
soe"here deep, deep do"! y us$les $le!$h deli$iously%
3e rolls his eyes at e a!d ta#es y ha!d agai! a!d leads e to the bar% 3es ser*ed
iediately, !o "aiti!g for =r% Co!trol9Frea# >rey% <oes e*erythi!g $oe so easily to hiI 8
$a!t hear "hat he orders% 3e ha!ds e a *ery large glass of i$ed "ater%
G<ri!#,H he shouts his order at e%
The o*i!g lights are t"isti!g a!d tur!i!g i! tie to the usi$ $asti!g stra!ge $olored light
a!d shado"s all o*er the bar a!d the $lie!tele% 3es alter!ately gree!, blue, "hite, a!d a deo!i$
red% 3es "at$hi!g e i!te!tly% 8 ta#e a te!tati*e sip%
G&ll of it,H he shouts%
3es so o*erbeari!g% 3e ru!s his ha!d through his u!ruly hair% 3e loo#s frustrated, a!gry%
What is his probleI &part fro a silly dru!# girl ri!gi!g hi i! the iddle of the !ight so he
thi!#s she !eeds res$ui!g% &!d it tur!s out she does fro her o*er aorous frie!d% The! seei!g her
bei!g *iole!tly ill at his feet% Oh Ana0 are you e6er going to li6e this down. =y sub$o!s$ious is
figurati*ely tutti!g a!d glari!g at e o*er her half oo! spe$s% 8 s"ay slightly, a!d he puts his ha!d
o! y shoulder to steady e% 8 do as 8 told a!d dri!# the e!tire glass% 8t a#es e feel Bueasy%
Ta#i!g the glass fro e, he pla$es it o! the bar% 8 !oti$e through a blur "hat hes "eari!gP a loose
"hite li!e! shirt, s!ug @ea!s, bla$# Co!*erse s!ea#ers, a!d a dar# pi!striped @a$#et% 3is shirt is
u!butto!ed at the top, a!d 8 see a spri!#li!g of hair i! the gap% 8! y groggy frae of i!d, he
loo#s yuy%
3e ta#es y ha!d o!$e ore% 7oly cow C hes leadi!g e o!to the da!$e floor% Shit%
8 do !ot da!$e% 3e $a! se!se y relu$ta!$e, a!d u!der the $olored lights, 8 $a! see his
aused, slightly sardo!i$ sile% 3e gi*es y ha!d a sharp tug, a!d 8 i! his ars agai!, a!d he
starts to o*e, ta#i!g e "ith hi% 0oy, he $a! da!$e, a!d 8 $a!t belie*e that 8 follo"i!g hi
step for step% =aybe its be$ause 8 dru!# that 8 $a! #eep up% 3es holdi!g e tight agai!st hi,
his body agai!st i!eL if he "as!t $lut$hi!g e so tightly, 8 sure 8 "ould s"oo! at his feet% 8!
the ba$# of y i!d, y others ofte!9re$ited "ar!i!g $oes to e: "e6er trust a man who can
dance.
3e o*es us through the $ro"ded thro!g of da!$ers to the other side of the da!$e floor, a!d
"e are beside Eate a!d Elliot, Christia!s brother% The usi$ is pou!di!g a"ay, loud a!d leery,
outside a!d i!side y head% 8 gasp% !ate is ma(ing her mo6es. Shes da!$i!g her ass off, a!d she
o!ly e*er does that if she li#es soeo!e% Deally li#es soeo!e% 8t ea!s therell be three of us for
brea#fast toorro" or!i!g% !ate&
Christia! lea!s o*er a!d shouts i! Elliots ear% 8 $a!!ot hear "hat he says% Elliot is tall "ith
"ide shoulders, $urly blo!de hair, a!d light, "i$#edly gleai!g eyes% 8 $a!t tell the $olor u!der the
pulsati!g heat of the flashi!g lights% Elliot gri!s, a!d pulls Eate i!to his ars, "here she is ore
tha! happy to beL !ate& E*e! i! y i!ebriated state, 8 a sho$#ed% Shes o!ly @ust et hi% She
!ods at "hate*er Elliot says a!d gri!s at e a!d "a*es% Christia! propels us off the da!$e floor i!
double Bui$# tie%
0ut 8 !e*er got to tal# to her% 8s she o#ayI 8 $a! see "here thi!gs are headi!g for her a!d hi%
I need to do the safe se< lecture. 8! the ba$# of y i!d, 8 hope she reads o!e of the posters o! the
ba$# of the toilet doors% =y thoughts $rash through y brai!, fighti!g the dru!#, fuFFy feeli!g% 8ts
so "ar i! here, so loud, so $olorful C too bright% =y head begi!s to s"i, oh !oL a!d 8 $a! feel
the floor $oi!g up to eet y fa$e or so it feels%
The last thi!g 8 hear before 8 pass out i! Christia! >reys ars is his harsh epithet%
GFu$#KH
8ts *ery Buiet% The light is uted% 8 a $ofortable a!d "ar, i! this bed% 3L 8 ope! y
eyes, a!d for a oe!t, 8 tra!Buil a!d sere!e, e!@oyi!g the stra!ge u!failiar surrou!di!gs% 8
ha*e !o idea "here 8 a% The headboard behi!d e is i! the shape of a assi*e su!% 8ts oddly
failiar% The roo is large a!d airy a!d plushly fur!ished i! bro"!s a!d golds a!d beige% 8 ha*e
see! it before% WhereI =y befuddled brai! struggles through its re$e!t *isual eories% 3oly $rap%
8 i! the 3eatha! hotelL i! a suite% 8 ha*e stood i! a roo siilar to this "ith Eate% This loo#s
bigger% /h shit% 8 i! Christia! >reys suite% 3o" did 8 get hereI
Fra$tured eories of the pre*ious !ight $oe slo"ly ba$# to hau!t e% The dri!#i!g, oh no
the drin(ing the pho!e $all, oh no the phone call the *oiti!g, oh no the 6omiting. JosNO222P
a!d the! Christia!% Oh no. 8 $ri!ge i!"ardly% 8 do!t reeber $oi!g here%
8 "eari!g y t9shirt, bra, a!d pa!ties% +o so$#s% +o @ea!s% 7oly shit.
8 gla!$e at the bedside table% /! it is a glass of ora!ge @ui$e a!d t"o tablets% &d*il%
Co!trol frea# that he is, he thi!#s of e*erythi!g% 8 sit up a!d ta#e the tablets% &$tually, 8 do!t
feel that bad, probably u$h better tha! 8 deser*e% The ora!ge @ui$e tastes di*i!e%
8ts thirst Bue!$hi!g a!d refreshi!g% +othi!g beats freshly sBueeFed ora!ge @ui$e for re*i*9i!g
a! arid outh%
Theres a #!o$# o! the door% =y heart leaps i!to y outh, a!d 8 $a!t see to fi!d y
*oi$e% 3e ope!s the door a!y"ay a!d strolls i!%
3oly hell, hes bee! "or#i!g out% 3es i! gray s"eat pa!ts that ha!g, i! that "ay, off his hips
a!d a gray si!glet, "hi$h is dar# "ith s"eat, li#e his hair% Christian $rey*s sweat the notion does
odd things to me. 8 ta#e a deep breath a!d $lose y eyes% 8 feel li#e a t"o9year old, if 8 $lose y
eyes the! 8 !ot really here%
G>ood or!i!g &!astasia% 3o" are you feeli!gIH
Oh no.
G0etter tha! 8 deser*e,H 8 uble%
8 pee# up at hi% 3e pla$es a large shoppi!g bag o! a $hair a!d grasps ea$h e!d of the to"el
that he has arou!d his !e$#% 3es stari!g at e, gray eyes dar#, a!d as usual, 8 ha*e !o idea "hat
hes thi!#i!g% 3e hides his thoughts a!d feeli!gs so "ell%
G3o" did 8 get hereIH =y *oi$e is sall, $o!trite%
3e $oes a!d sits do"! o! the edge of the bed% 3es $lose e!ough for e to tou$h, for e to
sell% /h yL s"eat a!d body "ash a!d Christia!, its a heady $o$#tail 9 so u$h better tha! a
argarita, a!d !o" 8 $a! spea# fro e1perie!$e%
G&fter you passed out, 8 did!t "a!t to ris# the leather upholstery i! y $ar ta#i!g you all the
"ay to your aparte!t% So 8 brought you here,H he says phlegati$ally%
G<id you put e to bedIH
GJes%H 3is fa$e is ipassi*e%
G<id 8 thro" up agai!IH =y *oi$e is Buieter%
G+o%H
G<id you u!dress eIH 8 "hisper%
GJes%H 3e Buir#s a! eyebro" at e as 8 blush furiously%
GWe did!t,H 8 "hisper, y outh dryi!g i! ortified horror as 8 $a!t $oplete the Buestio!%
8 stare at y ha!ds%
G&!astasia, you "ere $oatose% +e$rophilia is !ot y thi!g% 8 li#e y "oe! se!tie!t a!d
re$epti*e,H he says dryly%
G8 so sorry%H
3is outh lifts slightly i! a "ry sile%
G8t "as a *ery di*erti!g e*e!i!g% +ot o!e that 8ll forget i! a "hile%H
=e !either C oh hes laughi!g at e, the bastard% 8 did!t as# hi to $oe a!d get e%
Soeho" 8*e bee! ade to feel li#e the *illai! of the pie$e%
GJou did!t ha*e to tra$# e do"! "ith "hate*er Jaes 0o!d stuff youre de*elopi!g for the
highest bidder,H 8 s!ap at hi% 3e stares at e, surprised, a!d if 8 !ot ista#e!, a little "ou!ded%
GFirstly, the te$h!ology to tra$# $ell pho!es is a*ailable o*er the 8!ter!et% Se$o!dly, y
$opa!y does !ot i!*est or a!ufa$ture a!y #i!d of sur*eilla!$e de*i$es, a!d thirdly, if 8 had!t
$oe to get you, youd probably be "a#i!g up i! the photographers bed, a!d fro "hat 8 $a!
reeber, you "ere!t o*erly e!thused about hi pressi!g his suit,H he says a$idly%
/ressing his suit& 8 gla!$e up at Christia!, hes glari!g at e, his gray eyes blaFi!g,
aggrie*ed% 8 try to bite y lip, but 8 fail to repress y laughter%
GWhi$h edie*al $hro!i$le did you es$ape froIH 8 giggle% GJou sou!d li#e a $ourtly
#!ight%H
3is ood *isibly shifts% 3is eyes softe! a!d his e1pressio! "ars, a!d 8 see a tra$e of a sile
o! his beautifully $hiseled lips%
G&!astasia, 8 do!t thi!# so% <ar# #!ight aybe%H 3is sile is sardo!i$, a!d he sha#es his
head% G<id you eat last !ightIH 3is to!e is a$$usatory% 8 sha#e y head% What a@or tra!sgressio!
ha*e 8 $oitted !o"I 3is @a" $le!$hes, but his fa$e reai!s ipassi*e%
GJou !eed to eat% Thats "hy you "ere so ill% 3o!estly &!astasia, its dri!#i!g rule !uber
o!e%H 3e ru!s this ha!d through his hair, a!d 8 #!o" its be$ause hes e1asperated%
G&re you goi!g to $o!ti!ue to s$old eIH
G8s that "hat 8 doi!gIH
G8 thi!# so%H
GJoure lu$#y 8 @ust s$oldi!g you%H
GWhat do you ea!IH
GWell, if you "ere i!e, you "ould!t be able to sit do"! for a "ee# after the stu!t you
pulled yesterday% Jou did!t eat, you got dru!#, you put yourself at ris#%H 3e $loses his eyes, dread
et$hed o! his lo*ely fa$e, a!d he shudders slightly% Whe! he ope!s his eyes, he glares at e% G8 hate
to thi!# "hat $ould ha*e happe!ed to you%H
8 s$o"l ba$# at hi% What is his probleI Whats it to hiI 8f 8 "as hisL well I*m not.
Though aybe, part of e "ould li#e to be% The thought pier$es through the irritatio! 8 feel at his
high9ha!ded "ords% 8 flush at the "ay"ard!ess of y sub$o!s$ious 9 shes doi!g her happy da!$e
i! a bright red hula s#irt at the thought of bei!g his%
G8 "ould ha*e bee! fi!e% 8 "as "ith Eate%H
G&!d the photographerIH he s!aps at e%
7mm0 young =os>?2@@A. 8ll !eed to fa$e hi at soe poi!t%
GJosNO222P @ust got out of li!e%H 8 shrug%
GWell the !e1t tie he gets out of li!e, aybe soeo!e should tea$h hi soe a!!ers%H
GJou are Buite the dis$ipli!aria!,H 8 hiss at hi%
G/h, &!astasia, you ha*e !o idea%H 3is eyes !arro", a!d the! he gri!s "i$#edly% 8ts
disari!g% /!e i!ute, 8 $o!fused a!d a!gry, the !e1t 8 gaFi!g at his gorgeous sile%
#ow L 8 a e!tra!$ed, a!d its be$ause his sile is so rare% 8 Buite forget "hat hes tal#i!g
about%
G8 goi!g to ha*e a sho"er% 5!less youd li#e to sho"er firstIH 3e $o$#s his head to o!e
side, still gri!!i!g% =y heartbeat has pi$#ed up, a!d y edulla oblo!gata has !egle$ted to fire a!y
sy!apses to a#e e breathe% 3is gri! "ide!s, a!d he rea$hes o*er a!d ru!s his thub do"! y
$hee# a!d a$ross y lo"er lip%
G0reathe, &!astasia,H he "hispers a!d rises% G0rea#fast "ill be here i! fiftee! i!utes%
Jou ust be faished%H 3e heads i!to the bathroo a!d $loses the door%
8 let out the breath that 8*e bee! holdi!g% Why is he so da!ed attra$ti*eI Dight !o" 8 "a!t
to go a!d @oi! hi i! the sho"er% 8 ha*e !e*er felt this "ay about a!yo!e% =y horo!es are ra$i!g%
=y s#i! ti!gles "here his thub tra$ed o*er y fa$e a!d lo"er lip%
8 feel li#e sBuiri!g "ith a !eedy, a$hyL dis$ofort% 8 do!t u!dersta!d this rea$tio!%
7mm0 4esire. This is desire% This is "hat it feels li#e%
8 lie ba$# o! the soft feather filled pillo"s% -If you were mine.* /h y C "hat "ould 8 do to
be hisI 3es the o!ly a! "ho has e*er set y blood ra$i!g arou!d y body% Jet, hes so
a!tago!iFi!g tooP hes diffi$ult, $opli$ated, a!d $o!fusi!g% /!e i!ute he rebuffs e, the !e1t he
se!ds e fourtee!9thousa!d9dollar boo#s, the! he tra$#s e li#e a stal#er%
&!d for all that, 8 ha*e spe!t the !ight i! his hotel suite, a!d 8 feel safe% .rote$ted% 3e $ares
e!ough to $oe a!d res$ue e fro soe ista#e!ly per$ei*ed da!ger% 3es !ot a dar# #!ight at
all, but a "hite #!ight i! shi!i!g, daFFli!g aror C a $lassi$ roa!ti$ hero C Sir >a"ai! or
La!$elot%
8 s$rable out of his bed fra!ti$ally sear$hi!g for y @ea!s% 3e eerges fro the bathroo
"et a!d gliste!i!g fro the sho"er, still u!sha*e!, "ith @ust a to"el arou!d his "aist, a!d there a
8 C all bare legs a!d a"#"ard ga"#i!ess% 3es surprised to see e out of bed%
G8f youre loo#i!g for your @ea!s, 8*e se!t the to the lau!dry%H 3is gaFe is a dar# obsidia!%
GThey "ere spattered "ith your *oit%H
G/h%H 8 flush s$arlet% Why oh "hy does he al"ays $at$h e o! the ba$# footI
G8 se!t Taylor out for a!other pair a!d soe shoes% Theyre i! the bag o! the $hair%H
Clean clothes. What a! u!e1pe$ted bo!us%
G5L 8ll ha*e a sho"er,H 8 utter% GTha!#s%H What else $a! 8 sayI 8 grab the bag a!d dart
i!to the bathroo a"ay fro the u!!er*i!g pro1iity of !a#ed Christia!% =i$hel9a!gelos <a*id
has !othi!g o! hi%
8! the bathroo, its all hot a!d steay fro "here hes bee! sho"eri!g% 8 strip off y
$lothes a!d Bui$#ly $laber i!to the sho"er a!1ious to be u!der the $lea!si!g strea of "ater% 8t
$as$ades o*er e, a!d 8 hold up y fa$e i!to the "el$oi!g torre!t% 8 "a!t Christia! >rey% 8 "a!t
hi badly% Siple fa$t% For the first tie i! y life, 8 "a!t to go to bed "ith a a!% 8 "a!t to feel
his ha!ds a!d his outh o! e%
3e said he li#es his "oe! se!tie!t% 7e*s pro,a,ly not celi,ate then. 0ut hes !ot ade a
pass at e, u!li#e .aul or JosNO222P% 8 do!t u!dersta!d% <oes he "a!t eI 3e "ould!t #iss e
last "ee#% & 8 repelle!t to hiI &!d yet, 8 here a!d he brought e here% 8 @ust do!t #!o" "hat
his gae isI What hes thi!#i!gI )ou*6e slept in his ,ed all night and he*s not touched you Ana.
)ou do the math. =y sub$o!s$ious has reared her ugly, s!ide head% 8 ig!ore her%
The "ater is "ar a!d soothi!g% 7mm L 8 $ould stay u!der this sho"er, i! his bathroo,
fore*er% 8 rea$h for the body9"ash a!d it sells of hi% 8ts a deli$ious sell% 8 rub it all o*er
yself, fa!tasiFi!g that its hi 9 hi rubbi!g this hea*e!ly s$e!ted soap i!to y body, a$ross y
breasts, o*er y stoa$h, bet"ee! y thighs "ith his lo!g fi!gered ha!ds% Oh my. =y heartbeat
pi$#s up agai!, this feels soL so good%
G0rea#fast is here%H 3e #!o$#s o! the door, startli!g e%
G/#ay,H 8 stutter as 8 ya!#ed $ruelly out of y eroti$ daydrea%
8 $lib out of the sho"er a!d grab t"o to"els% 8 put y hair i! o!e a!d "rap it Care!
=ira!da style o! y head% 3astily, 8 dry yself, ig!ori!g the pleasurable feel of the to"el rubbi!g
agai!st y o*er9se!sitiFed s#i!%
8 i!spe$t the bag of @ea!s% +ot o!ly has Taylor brought e @ea!s a!d !e" Co!*erse, but a pale
blue shirt, so$#s, a!d u!der"ear% /h y% & $lea! bra a!d pa!ties C a$tually to des$ribe the i! su$h
a u!da!e, utilitaria! "ay does !ot do the @usti$e% They are a! e1Buisite desig! of soe fa!$y
Europea! li!gerie% &ll pale blue la$e a!d fi!ery% Wo"% 8 a i! a"e a!d slightly dau!ted by this
u!der"ear% % Whats ore, they fit perfe$tly% 0ut of $ourse they do% 8 flush to thi!# of the 0uFF9Cut
a! i! soe li!gerie store buyi!g this for e% 8 "o!der "hat else is i! his @ob des$riptio!%
8 dress Bui$#ly% The rest of the $lothi!g is a perfe$t fit% 8 brusBuely to"el9dry y hair a!d try
desperately to bri!g it u!der $o!trol% 0ut, as usual, it refuses to $ooperate, a!d y o!ly optio! is to
restrai! it "ith a hair tie% 8 shall sear$h i! y purse, "he! 8 fi!d it% 8 ta#e a deep breath% Tie to fa$e
=r% Co!fusi!g%
8 relie*ed to fi!d the bedroo epty% 8 hu!t Bui$#ly for y purse C but its !ot i! here%
Ta#i!g a!other deep breath, 8 e!ter the li*i!g area of the suite% 8ts huge% Theres a! opule!t, plush
seati!g area, all o*erstuffed $ou$hes a!d soft $ushio!s, a! elaborate $offee table "ith a sta$# of
large glossy boo#s, a study area "ith a top9of9the9ra!ge =a$, a! e!orous plasa s$ree! TA o! the
"all, a!d Christia! is sitti!g at a di!i!g table o! the other side of the roo readi!g a !e"spaper% 8ts
the siFe of a te!!is $ourt or soethi!g, !ot that 8 play te!!is, though 8 ha*e "at$hed Eate a fe"
ties% !ate&
GCrap, Eate,H 8 $roa#% Christia! peers up at e%
GShe #!o"s youre here a!d still ali*e% 8 te1ted Elliot,H he says "ith @ust a tra$e of huor%
Oh no. 8 reeber her fer*e!t da!$i!g of the !ight before% &ll her pate!ted o*es used "ith
a1iu effe$t to sedu$e Christia!s brother !o lessK Whats she goi!g to thi!# about e bei!g
hereI 8*e !e*er stayed out before% Shes still "ith Elliot% Shes o!ly do!e this t"i$e before, a!d
both ties 8*e had to e!dure the hideous pi!# .Js for a "ee# fro the fallout% Shes goi!g to thi!#
8*e had a o!e9!ight sta!d too%
Christia! stares at e iperiously% 3es "eari!g a "hite li!e! shirt, $ollar a!d $uffs u!do!e%
GSit,H he $oa!ds, poi!ti!g to a pla$e at the table% 8 a#e y "ay a$ross the roo a!d sit
do"! opposite hi as 8*e bee! dire$ted% The table is lade! "ith food%
G8 did!t #!o" "hat you li#ed, so 8 ordered a sele$tio! fro the brea#fast e!u%H 3e gi*es
e a $roo#ed, apologeti$ sile%
GThats *ery profligate of you,H 8 urur, be"ildered by the $hoi$e, though 8 a hu!gry%
GJes, it is%H 3e sou!ds guilty%
8 opt for pa!$a#es, aple syrup, s$rabled eggs, a!d ba$o!% Christia! tries to hide a sile as
he retur!s to his egg "hite oelet% The food is deli$ious%
GTeaIH he as#s%
GJes, please%H
3e passes e a sall teapot of hot "ater a!d o! the sau$er is a T"i!i!gs E!glish 0rea#fast
teabag% JeeF, he reebers ho" 8 li#e y tea%
GJour hairs *ery dap,H he s$olds%
G8 $ould!t fi!d the hairdryer,H 8 utter, ebarrassed% +ot that 8 loo#ed%
Christia!s outh presses i!to a hard li!e, but he does!t say a!ythi!g%
GTha!# you for orga!iFi!g the $lothes%H
G8ts a pleasure, &!astasia% That $olor suits you%H
8 blush a!d stare do"! at y fi!gers%
GJou #!o", you really should lear! to ta#e a $oplie!t%H 3is to!e is $astigati!g%
G8 should gi*e you soe o!ey for these $lothes%H
3e glares at e as if 8 ha*e offe!ded hi o! soe le*el% 8 hurry o!%
GJou*e already gi*e! e the boo#s, "hi$h, of $ourse, 8 $a!t a$$ept% 0ut these $lothes,
please let e pay you ba$#%H 8 sile te!tati*ely at hi%
G&!astasia, trust e, 8 $a! afford it%H
GThats !ot the poi!t% Why should you buy these for eIH
G0e$ause 8 $a!,H his eyes flash "ith a "i$#ed glea%
GJust be$ause you $a! does!t ea! that you should,H 8 reply Buietly as he ar$hes a! eyebro"
at e, his eyes t"i!#li!g, a!d sudde!ly 8 feel that "ere tal#i!g about soethi!g else, but 8 do!t
#!o" "hat it is% Whi$h rei!ds eL
GWhy did you se!d e the boo#s, Christia!IH =y *oi$e is soft% 3e puts do"! his $utlery a!d
regards e i!te!tly, his gray eyes bur!i!g "ith soe u!fathoable eotio!%
3oly $rap C y outh dries%
GWell, "he! you "ere !early ru! o*er by the $y$list C a!d 8 "as holdi!g you a!d you "ere
loo#i!g up at e C all #iss e, #iss e, Christia!,H he pauses a!d shrugs slightly, G8 felt 8 o"ed you
a! apology a!d a "ar!i!g%H 3e ru!s his ha!d through his hair% G&!astasia, 8 !ot a hearts a!d
flo"ers #i!d of a!, 8 do!t do roa!$e% =y tastes are *ery si!gular%
Jou should steer $lear fro e%H 3e $loses his eyes as if i! defeat% GTheres soethi!g about
you, though, a!d 8 fi!di!g it ipossible to stay a"ay% 0ut 8 thi!# you*e figured that out
already%H
=y appetite *a!ishes% 7e can*t stay away&
GThe! do!t,H 8 "hisper%
3e gasps, his eyes "ide%
GJou do!t #!o" "hat youre sayi!g%H
GE!lighte! e, the!%H
We sit gaFi!g at ea$h other, !either of us tou$hi!g our food%
GJoure !ot $elibate the!IH 8 breathe%
&usee!t lights up his gray eyes%
G+o, &!astasia, 8 !ot $elibate%H 3e pauses for this i!foratio! to si!# i!, a!d 8 flush s$arlet%
The outh9to9brai! filter is bro#e! agai!% 8 $a!t belie*e 8*e @ust said that out loud%GWhat are your
pla!s for the !e1t fe" daysIH he as#s, his *oi$e lo"%
G8 "or#i!g today, fro idday% What is the tieIH 8 pa!i$ sudde!ly%
G8ts @ust after te!, you*e ple!ty of tie% What about toorro"IH 3e has his elbo"s o! the
table, a!d his $hi! is resti!g o! his lo!g steepled fi!gers%
GEate a!d 8 are goi!g to start pa$#i!g% Were o*i!g to Seattle !e1t "ee#e!d, a!d 8
"or#i!g at Clayto!s all this "ee#%H
GJou ha*e a pla$e i! Seattle alreadyIH
GJes%H
GWhereIH
G8 $a!t reeber the address% 8ts i! the .i#e =ar#et <istri$t%H
G+ot far fro e,H his lips t"it$h up i! a half sile% GSo "hat are you goi!g to do for "or# i!
SeattleIH
Where is he goi!g "ith all these Buestio!sI The Christia! >rey 8!Buisitio! is alost as
irritati!g as the Eatheri!e Ea*a!agh 8!Buisitio!%
G8*e applied for soe i!ter!ships% 8 "aiti!g to hear%H
G3a*e you applied to y $opa!y as 8 suggestedIH
8 flushL of course not.
G5L !o%H
G&!d "hats "ro!g "ith y $opa!yIH
GJour $opa!y or your Copa!yIH 8 sir#%
3e siles slightly%
G&re you sir#i!g at e, =iss SteeleIH 3e $o$#s his head to o!e side, a!d 8 thi!# he loo#s
aused, but its hard to tell% 8 flush a!d gla!$e do"! at y u!fi!ished brea#fast% 8 $a!t loo# hi i!
the eye "he! he uses that to!e of *oi$e%
G8d li#e to bite that lip,H he "hispers dar#ly%
Oh my. 8 a $opletely u!a"are that 8 a $he"i!g y botto lip% =y outh pops ope! as 8
gasp a!d s"allo" at the sae tie% That has to be the se1iest thi!g a!ybody has e*er said to e%
=y heart beat spi#es, a!d 8 thi!# 8 pa!ti!g% JeeF, 8 a Bui*eri!g, oist ess, a!d he has!t e*e!
tou$hed e% 8 sBuir i! y seat a!d eet his dar# glare%
GWhy do!t youIH 8 $halle!ge Buietly%
G0e$ause 8 !ot goi!g to tou$h you &!astasia 9 !ot u!til 8 ha*e your "ritte! $o!se!t to do
so%H 3is lips hi!t at a sile%
#hat.
GWhat does that ea!IH
GE1a$tly "hat 8 say%H 3e sighs a!d sha#es his head at e, aused, but e1asperated too%
G8 !eed to sho" you, &!astasia% What tie do you fi!ish "or# this e*e!i!gIH
G&bout eight%H
GWell, "e $ould go to Seattle this e*e!i!g or !e1t Saturday for di!!er at y pla$e, a!d 8ll
a$Buai!t you "ith the fa$ts the!% The $hoi$e is yours%H
GWhy $a!t you tell e !o"IH 8 sou!d petula!t%
G0e$ause 8 e!@oyi!g y brea#fast a!d your $opa!y% /!$e youre e!lighte!ed, you
probably "o!t "a!t to see e agai!%H
7oly shit. What does that ea!I <oes he "hite9sla*e sall $hildre! to soe >od9forsa#e!
part of the pla!etI 8s he part of soe u!der"orld $rie sy!di$ateI 8t "ould e1plai! "hy hes so
ri$h% 8s he deeply religiousI 8s he ipote!tI Surely !ot, he $ould pro*e that to e right !o"% Oh my.
8 flush s$arlet thi!#i!g about the possibilities% This is getti!g e !o"here% 8d li#e to sol*e the
riddle that is Christia! >rey soo!er rather tha! later% 8f it ea!s that "hate*er se$ret he has is so
gross that 8 do!t "a!t to #!o" hi a!y ore the!, Buite fra!#ly, it "ill be a relief% 4on*t lie to
yourself 2 my su,conscious yells at me2 it*ll ha6e to ,e pretty ,loody ,ad to ha6e you running for
the hills.
GTo!ight%H
3e raises a! eyebro"%
GLi#e E*e, youre so Bui$# to eat fro the tree of #!o"ledge,H he sir#s%
G&re you sir#i!g at e, =r% >reyIH 8 as# s"eetly% /ompous ass.
3e !arro"s his eyes at e a!d pi$#s up his 0la$#0erry% 3e presses o!e !uber%
GTaylor% 8 goi!g to !eed Charlie Ta!go%H
Charlie 1ango& #ho*s he.
GFro .ortla!d at say t"e!ty9thirty%%% +o, sta!dby at Es$alaL &ll !ight%H
All night&
GJes% /! $all toorro" or!i!g% 8ll pilot fro .ortla!d to Seattle%H
/ilot.
GSta!dby pilot fro t"e!ty9t"o9thirty%H 3e puts the pho!e do"!% +o please or tha!# you%G<o
people al"ays do "hat you tell theIH
G5sually, if they "a!t to #eep their @obs,H he says, deadpa!%
G&!d if they do!t "or# for youIH
G/h, 8 $a! be *ery persuasi*e, &!astasia% Jou should fi!ish your brea#fast% &!d the! 8ll drop
you hoe% 8ll pi$# you up at Clayto!s at eight "he! you fi!ish% Well fly up to Seattle%H
8 bli!# at hi rapidly%
GFlyIH
GJes% 8 ha*e a heli$opter%H
8 gape at hi% 8 ha*e y se$o!d date "ith Christia! oh9so9ysterious >rey% Fro $offee to
heli$opter rides% Wo"%
GWell go by heli$opter to SeattleIH
GJes%H
GWhyIH
3e gri!s "i$#edly%
G0e$ause 8 $a!% Fi!ish your brea#fast%H
3o" $a! 8 eat !o"I 8 goi!g to Seattle by heli$opter "ith Christia! >rey% &!d he "a!ts to
bite y lipL 8 sBuir at the thought
GEat,H he says ore sharply% G&!astasia, 8 ha*e a! issue "ith "asted foodL eat%H
G8 $a!t eat all this%H 8 gape at "hats left o! the table%
GEat "hats o! your plate% 8f youd eate! properly yesterday, you "ould!t be here, a!d 8
"ould!t be de$lari!g y ha!d so soo!%H 3is outh sets i! a gri li!e% 3e loo#s a!gry%
8 fro"! a!d retur! to y !o" $old food% I*m too e<cited to eat Christian. 4on*t you
understand. =y sub$o!s$ious e1plai!s% 0ut 8 too u$h of a $o"ard to *oi$e these thoughts
aloud, espe$ially "he! he loo#s so sulle!% 7mm li#e a sall boy% 8 fi!d the thought ausi!g%
GWhats so fu!!yIH he as#s% 8 sha#e y head, !ot dari!g tell hi a!d #eep y eyes o! y
food% S"allo"i!g y last pie$e of pa!$a#e, 8 pee# up at hi% 3es eyei!g e spe$ulati*ely%
G>ood girl,H he says% G8ll ta#e you hoe "he! you*e dried your hair% 8 do!t "a!t you
getti!g ill%H Theres soe #i!d of u!spo#e! proise i! his "ords% #hat does he mean. 8 lea*e the
table, "o!deri!g for a oe!t if 8 should as# perissio! but disissi!g the idea% Sou!ds li#e a
da!gerous pre$ede!t to set% 8 head ba$# to his bedroo% & thought stops e%
GWhere did you sleep last !ightIH 8 tur! to gaFe at hi still sitti!g i! the di!i!g roo $hair% 8
$a!t see a!y bla!#ets or sheets out here C perhaps hes had the tidied a"ay%
G8! y bed,H he says siply, his gaFe ipassi*e agai!%
G/h%H
GJes, it "as Buite a !o*elty for e too%H 3e siles%
G+ot ha*i!gL se1%H There C 8 said the "ord% 8 blush C of $ourse%
G+o,H he sha#es his head a!d fro"!s as if re$alli!g soethi!g u!$ofortable% GSleepi!g "ith
soeo!e%H 3e pi$#s up his !e"spaper a!d $o!ti!ues to read%
What i! hea*e!s !ae does that ea!I 3es !e*er slept "ith a!yo!eI 3es a *irgi!I
Soeho" 8 doubt that% 8 sta!d stari!g at hi i! disbelief% 3e is the ost ystifyi!g perso! 8*e e*er
et% &!d it da"!s o! e that 8 ha*e slept "ith Christia! >rey, a!d 8 #i$# yself C "hat "ould 8
ha*e gi*e! to be $o!s$ious to "at$h hi sleep% See hi *ul!erable%
Soeho", 8 fi!d that hard to iagi!e% Well, allegedly all "ill be re*ealed to!ight%
8! his bedroo, 8 hu!t through a $hest of dra"ers a!d fi!d the hair dryer% 5si!g y fi!gers, 8
dry y hair the best 8 $a!% Whe! 8*e fi!ished, 8 head i!to the bathroo% 8 "a!t to $lea! y teeth% 8
eye Christia!s toothbrush% 8t "ould be li#e ha*i!g hi i! y outh%
7mm L >la!$i!g guiltily o*er y shoulder at the door, 8 feel the bristles o! the toothbrush%
They are dap% 3e ust ha*e used it already% >rabbi!g it Bui$#ly, 8 sBuirt toothpaste o! it a!d
brush y teeth i! double Bui$# tie% 8 feel so !aughty% 8ts su$h a thrill%
>rabbi!g y t9shirt, bra, a!d pa!ties fro yesterday, 8 put the i! the shoppi!g bag that
Taylor brought a!d head ba$# to the li*i!g area to hu!t for y bag a!d @a$#et% <eep @oy, there is a
hair tie i! y bag% Christia! is "at$hi!g e as 8 tie y hair i!to a po!ytail, his e1pressio!
u!readable% 8 feel his eyes follo" e as 8 sit do"! a!d "ait for hi to fi!ish%
3es o! his 0la$#0erry tal#i!g to soeo!e%
GThey "a!t t"oIL 3o" u$h "ill that $ostI%%% /#ay, a!d "hat safety easures do "e ha*e
i! pla$eIL &!d theyll go *ia SueFIL 3o" safe is 0e! Suda!I%%% &!d "he! do they arri*e i!
<arfurI%%% /#ay, lets do it% Eeep e abreast of progress%H 3e ha!gs up%
GDeady to goIH
8 !od% 8 "o!der "hat his $o!*ersatio! "as about% 3e slips o! a !a*y pi!striped @a$#et, pi$#s
up his $ar #eys, a!d heads for the door%
G&fter you, =iss Steele,H he ururs, ope!i!g the door for e% 3e loo#s so $asually elega!t%
8 pause, fra$tio!ally too lo!g, dri!#i!g i! the sight of hi% &!d to thi!# 8 slept "ith hi last
!ight a!d, after all the teBuila a!d the thro"i!g up, hes still here% Whats ore, he "a!ts to ta#e e
to Seattle% Why eI 8 do!t u!dersta!d it% 8 head out the door re$alli!g his "ords C 1here*s
something a,out you C Well the feeli!g is e!tirely utual =r% >rey, a!d 8 ai to fi!d out "hat it is%
We "al# i! sile!$e do"! the $orridor to"ard the ele*ator% &s "e "ait, 8 pee# up at hi
through y lashes, a!d he loo#s out of the $or!er of his eyes do"! at e% 8 sile, a!d his lips
t"it$h%
The ele*ator arri*es, a!d "e step i!% Were alo!e% Sudde!ly, for soe i!e1pli$able reaso!,
possibly our pro1iity i! su$h a! e!$losed spa$e, the atosphere bet"ee! us $ha!ges, $hargi!g
"ith a! ele$tri$, e1hilarati!g a!ti$ipatio!% =y breathi!g alters as y heart ra$es% 3is head tur!s
fra$tio!ally to"ard e, his eyes dar#est slate% 8 bite y lip%
G/h, fu$# the paper"or#,H he gro"ls% 3e lu!ges at e, pushi!g e agai!st the "all of the
ele*ator% 0efore 8 #!o" it, hes got both of y ha!ds i! o!e of his i! a *i$e9li#e grip abo*e y
head, a!d hes pi!!i!g e to the "all usi!g his hips% 3oly shit% 3is other ha!d grabs y po!ytail
a!d ya!#s do"!, bri!gi!g y fa$e up, a!d his lips are o! i!e% 8ts o!ly @ust !ot pai!ful% 8 oa!
i!to his outh, gi*i!g his to!gue a! ope!i!g% 3e ta#es full ad*a!tage, his to!gue e1pertly e1plori!g
y outh% 8 ha*e !e*er bee! #issed li#e this%
=y to!gue te!tati*ely stro#es his a!d @oi!s his i! a slo" eroti$ da!$e thats all about tou$h
a!d se!satio!, all bup a!d gri!d% 3e bri!gs his ha!d up to grasp y $hi! a!d holds e i! pla$e% 8
a helpless, y ha!ds pi!!ed, y fa$e held, a!d his hips restrai!i!g e% % 8 feel his ere$tio! agai!st
y belly% Oh my L 3e "a!ts e% Christia! >rey, >ree# god, "a!ts e, a!d 8 "a!t him hereL
!o", i! the ele*ator%
GJou% &re% So% S"eet,H he ururs, ea$h "ord a sta$$ato%
The ele*ator stops, the doors ope!, a!d he pushes a"ay fro e i! the bli!# of a! eye,
lea*i!g e ha!gi!g% Three e! i! busi!ess suits loo# at both of us a!d sir# as they $lib o!
board% =y heart rate is through the roof, 8 feel li#e 8*e ru! a! uphill ra$e% 8 "a!t to lea! o*er a!d
grasp y #!eesL but thats @ust too ob*ious%
8 gla!$e up at hi% 3e loo#s so $ool a!d $al, li#e hes bee! doi!g the Seattle Ties
$ross"ord% 7ow unfair. 8s he totally u!affe$ted by y prese!$eI 3e gla!$es at e out of the
$or!er of his eye, a!d he ge!tly blo"s out a deep breath% /h, hes affe$ted all right
C a!d y *ery sall i!!er goddess s"ays i! a ge!tle *i$torious saba% The busi!esse! e1it
o! the se$o!d floor% We ha*e o!e ore floor to tra*el%
GJou*e brushed your teeth,H he says, stari!g at e%
G8 used your toothbrush,H 8 breathe%
3is lips Buir# up i! a half sile%
G/h, &!astasia Steele, "hat a 8 goi!g to do "ith youIH
The doors ope! at the first floor, a!d he ta#es y ha!d a!d pulls e out%
GWhat is it about ele*atorsIH he utters, ore to hiself tha! to e as he strides a$ross the
lobby% 8 struggle to #eep pa$e "ith hi be$ause y "its ha*e bee! thoroughly, royally, s$attered all
o*er the floor a!d "alls of ele*ator three i! the 3eatha! 3otel%
Christia! ope!s the passe!ger door to the bla$# &udi S5A, a!d 8 $laber i!% 8ts a beast of a
$ar% 3e has!t e!tio!ed the outburst of passio! that e1ploded i! the ele*ator% Should 8I Should "e
tal# about it or prete!d that it did!t happe!I 8t hardly sees real, y first proper !o9holds9barred
#iss% &s tie ti$#s o!, 8 assig! it ythi$al, &rthuria! lege!d, Lost City of &tla!tis status% 8t !e*er
happe!ed, it !e*er e1isted% /erhaps I imagined it all. +o%
8 tou$h y lips, s"olle! fro his #iss% 8t defi!itely happe!ed% 8 a a $ha!ged "oa!% 8 "a!t
this a!, desperately, a!d he "a!ted e%
8 gla!$e at hi% Christia! is his usual polite, slightly dista!t self%
7ow confusing.
3e starts the e!gi!e a!d re*erses out of his spa$e i! the par#i!g lot% 3e s"it$hes o! the =.2
player% The $ar i!terior is filled "ith the s"eetest, ost agi$al usi$ of t"o "oe! si!gi!g% /h
"o"L all y se!ses are i! disarray, so this is doubly affe$ti!g% 8t se!ds deli$ious shi*ers up y
spi!e% Christia! pulls out o! to SW .ar# &*e!ue, a!d he dri*es "ith easy, laFy $o!fide!$e%
GWhat are "e liste!i!g toIH
G8ts the Flo"er <uet by <elibes, fro the opera La#NO222P% <o you li#e itIH
GChristia!, its "o!derful%H
G8t is, is!t itIH he gri!s, gla!$i!g at e% &!d for a fleeti!g oe!t, he sees his ageP you!g,
$arefree, a!d heart9stoppi!gly beautiful% 8s this the #ey to hiI =usi$I 8 sit a!d liste! to the a!geli$
*oi$es, teasi!g a!d sedu$i!g e%
GCa! 8 hear that agai!IH
G/f $ourse%H Christia! pushes a butto!, a!d the usi$ is $aressi!g e o!$e ore% 8ts a ge!tle,
slo", s"eet, a!d sure assault o! y aural se!ses%
GJou li#e $lassi$al usi$IH 8 as#, hopi!g for a rare i!sight i!to his perso!al prefere!$es%
G=y taste is e$le$ti$, &!astasia, e*erythi!g fro Thoas Tallis to the Ei!gs of Leo!%
8t depe!ds o! y ood% JouIH
G=e too% Though 8 do!t #!o" "ho Thoas Tallis is%H
3e tur!s a!d gaFes at e briefly before his eyes are ba$# o! the road%
G8ll play it for you soetie% 3es a si1tee!th $e!tury 0ritish $oposer% Tudor, $hur$h $horal
usi$%H Christia! gri!s at e% GSou!ds *ery esoteri$, 8 #!o", but its also agi$al, &!astasia%H
3e presses a butto!, a!d the Ei!gs of Leo! start si!gi!g% 3L this 8 #!o"% %e< on 'ire.
3o" appropriate% The usi$ is i!terrupted by the sou!d of a $ell pho!e ri!gi!g o*er the =.2
spea#ers% Christia! hits a butto! o! the steeri!g "heel%
G>rey,H he s!aps% 3es so brusBue%
G=r% >rey, its Wel$h here% 8 ha*e the i!foratio! you reBuire%H & raspi!g, disebodied *oi$e
$oes o*er the spea#ers%
G>ood% Eail it to e% &!ythi!g to addIH
G+o sir%H
3e presses the butto!, the! the $all $eases a!d the usi$ is ba$#% +o goodbye or tha!#s% 8
so glad that 8 !e*er seriously e!tertai!ed the thought of "or#i!g for hi% 8 shudder at the *ery idea%
3es @ust too $o!trolli!g a!d $old "ith his eployees% The usi$ $uts off agai! for the pho!e%
G>rey%H
GThe +<& has bee! eailed to you, =r% >rey%H & "oa!s *oi$e%
G>ood% Thats all, &!drea%H
G>ood day, sir%H
Christia! ha!gs up by pressi!g a butto! o! the steeri!g "heel% The usi$ is o! *ery briefly
"he! the pho!e ri!gs agai!% 3oly hell, is this his life, $o!sta!t !aggi!g pho!e $allsI
G>rey,H he s!aps%
G3i, Christia!, dyou get laidIH
G3ello, Elliot C 8 o! spea#er pho!e, a!d 8 !ot alo!e i! the $ar,H Christia! sighs%
GWhos "ith youIH
Christia! rolls his eyes%
G&!astasia Steele%H
G3i, &!aKH
Ana&
G3ello, Elliot%H
G3eard a lot about you,H Elliot ururs hus#ily% Christia! fro"!s%
G<o!t belie*e a "ord Eate says%H
Elliot laughs%
G8 droppi!g &!astasia off !o"%H Christia! ephasiFes y !ae% GShall 8 pi$# you
upIHGSure%H
GSee you shortly%H Christia! ha!gs up, a!d the usi$ is ba$#%
GWhy do you i!sist o! $alli!g e &!astasiaIH
G0e$ause its your !ae%H
G8 prefer &!a%H
G<o you !o"IH he ururs%
We are alost at y aparte!t% 8ts !ot ta#e! lo!g%
G&!astasia,H he uses% 8 s$o"l at hi, but he ig!ores y e1pressio!% GWhat happe!ed i! the
ele*ator 9 it "o!t happe! agai!, "ell, !ot u!less its preeditated%H
3e pulls up outside y duple1% 8 belatedly realiFe hes !ot as#ed e "here 8 li*e 9 yet he
#!o"s% 0ut the! he se!t the boo#s, of $ourse he #!o"s "here 8 li*e% What able, $ell9pho!e9tra$#i!g,
heli$opter o"!i!g, stal#er "ould!t%
Why "o!t he #iss e agai!I 8 pout at the thought% 8 do!t u!dersta!d% 3o!estly, his sur!ae
should be Crypti$, !ot >rey% 3e $libs out of the $ar, "al#i!g "ith easy, lo!g9legged gra$e rou!d
to y side to ope! the door, e*er the ge!tlea! 9 e1$ept perhaps i! rare, pre$ious oe!ts i!
ele*ators% 8 flush at the eory of his outh o! i!e, a!d the thought that 8d bee! u!able to tou$h
hi e!ters y i!d% 8 "a!ted to ru! y fi!gers through his de$ade!t, u!tidy hair, but 8d bee!
u!able to o*e y ha!ds% 8 a retrospe$ti*ely frustrated%
G8 li#ed "hat happe!ed i! the ele*ator,H 8 urur as 8 $lib out of the $ar% 8 !ot sure if 8
hear a! audible gasp, but 8 $hoose to ig!ore it a!d head up the steps to the fro!t door%
Eate a!d Elliot are sitti!g at our di!i!g table% The fourtee!9thousa!d9dollar boo#s ha*e
disappeared% Tha!# hea*e!s% 8 ha*e pla!s for the% She has the ost u!9Eate ridi$ulous gri! o! her
fa$e, a!d she loo#s ussed up i! a se1y #i!d of "ay% Christia! follo"s e i!to the li*i!g area, a!d
i! spite of her 8*e9bee!9ha*i!g9a9good9tie9all9!ight gri!, Eate eyes hi suspi$iously%
G3i &!a%H She leaps up to hug e, the! holds e at ars le!gth so she $a! e1ai!e e% She
fro"!s a!d tur!s to Christia!%
G>ood or!i!g, Christia!,H she says, a!d her to!e is a little hostile%
G=iss Ea*a!agh,H he says i! his stiff foral "ay%
GChristia!, her !ae is Eate,H Elliot grubles%
GEate%H Christia! gi*es her a polite !od a!d glares at Elliot "ho gri!s a!d rises to hug e too%
G3i, &!a,H he siles, his blue eyes t"i!#li!g, a!d 8 li#e hi iediately% 3es ob*iously
!othi!g li#e Christia!, but the! theyre adopted brothers%
G3i, Elliot,H 8 sile at hi, a!d 8 a"are that 8 biti!g y lip%
GElliot, "ed better go%H Christia! says ildly%
GSure%H 3e tur!s to Eate a!d pulls her i!to his ars a!d gi*es her a lo!g li!geri!g #iss%
=ee:0 get a room. 8 stare at y feet, ebarrassed% 8 gla!$e up at Christia!, a!d hes
"at$hi!g e i!te!tly% 8 !arro" y eyes at hi% Why $a!t you #iss e li#e thatI Elliot $o!ti!ues to
#iss Eate, s"eepi!g her off her feet a!d dippi!g her i! a draati$ hold so that her hair tou$hes the
grou!d as he #isses her hard%
GLaters, baby,H he gri!s%
Eate @ust elts% 8*e !e*er see! her elt before C the "ords $oely a!d $oplia!t $oe to
i!d% Coplia!t Eate, boy, Elliot ust be good% Christia! rolls his eyes a!d stares do"! at e, his
e1pressio! u!readable, although aybe hes ildly aused% 3e tu$#s a stray stra!d of y hair that
has "or#ed its "ay free fro y po!ytail behi!d y ear% =y breath hit$hes at the $o!ta$t, a!d 8
lea! y head slightly i!to his fi!gers% 3is eyes softe!, a!d he ru!s his thub a$ross y lo"er lip%
=y blood sears i! y *ei!s% &!d all too Bui$#ly, his tou$h is go!e%
GLaters, baby,H he ururs, a!d 8 ha*e to laugh be$ause its so u!li#e hi% 0ut e*e! though 8
#!o" hes bei!g irre*ere!t, the e!deare!t tugs at soethi!g deep i!side e%
G8ll pi$# you up at eight%H 3e tur!s to lea*e, ope!i!g the fro!t door a!d steppi!g out o! to the
por$h% Elliot follo"s hi to the $ar but tur!s a!d blo"s Eate a!other #iss, a!d 8 feel a! u!"el$oe
pa!g of @ealousy%
GSo, did youIH Eate as#s as "e "at$h the $lib i!to the $ar a!d dri*e off, the bur!i!g
$uriosity e*ide!t i! her *oi$e%
G+o,H 8 s!ap irritably, hopi!g that "ill halt the Buestio!s% We head ba$# i!to the aparte!t%
GJou ob*iously did, though%H 8 $a!t $o!tai! y e!*y% Eate al"ays a!ages to e!s!are e!% She is
irresistible, beautiful, se1y, fu!!y, for"ardL all the thi!gs that 8 !ot% 0ut her a!s"eri!g gri! is
i!fe$tious%
G&!d 8 seei!g hi agai! this e*e!i!g%H She $laps her ha!ds a!d @ups up a!d do"! li#e a
sall $hild% She $a!!ot $o!tai! her e1$itee!t a!d happi!ess, a!d 8 $a!t help but feel happy for
her% & happy EateL this is goi!g to be i!teresti!g%
GChristia! is ta#i!g e to Seattle this e*e!i!g%H
GSeattleIH
GJes%H
G=aybe you "ill then IH
G/h, 8 hope so%H
GJou li#e hi the!IH
GJes%H
GLi#e hi e!ough toL IH
GJes%H
She raises her eyebro"s%
GWo"% &!a Steele, fi!ally falli!g for a a!, a!d its Christia! >rey C hot, se1y billio!aire%H
G/h yeah C its all about the o!ey%H 8 sir#, a!d "e both fall i!to a fit of giggles%
G8s that a !e" blouseIH she as#s, a!d 8 let her ha*e all the u!e1$iti!g details about y !ight%
G3as he #issed you yetIH she as#s as she a#es $offee%
8 blush%
G/!$e%H
G/!$eKH she s$offs%
8 !od, rather shae fa$ed%
G3es *ery reser*ed%H
She fro"!s%
GThats odd%H
G8 do!t thi!# odd $o*ers it really,H 8 urur%
GWe !eed to a#e sure youre siply irresistible for this e*e!i!g,H she says "ith
deteri!atio!%
Oh no L this sou!ds li#e it "ill be tie $o!sui!g, huiliati!g, a!d pai!ful%
G8 ha*e to be at "or# i! a! hour%H
G8 $a! "or# "ith that tiefrae% Coe o!%H Eate grabs y ha!d a!d ta#es e i!to her
bedroo%
The day drags at Clayto!s e*e! though "ere busy% We*e hit the suer seaso!, so 8 ha*e
to spe!d t"o hours resto$#i!g the shel*es o!$e the shop is $losed% 8ts i!dless "or#, a!d it gi*es
e too u$h tie to thi!#% 8*e !ot really had a $ha!$e all day%
5!der Eates tireless a!d fra!#ly i!trusi*e i!stru$tio!, y legs a!d u!derars are sha*ed to
perfe$tio!, y eyebro"s plu$#ed, a!d 8 a buffed all o*er% 8t has bee! a ost u!pleasa!t
e1perie!$e% 0ut she assures e that this is "hat e! e1pe$t these days% What else "ill he e1pe$tI 8
ha*e to $o!*i!$e Eate that this is "hat 8 "a!t to do% For soe stra!ge reaso!, she does!t trust hi,
aybe be$ause hes so stiff a!d foral% She says she $a!t put her fi!ger o! it, but 8 ha*e proised
to te1t her "he! 8 arri*e i! Seattle% 8 ha*e!t told her about the heli$opter, shed frea#%
8 also ha*e the JosNO222P issue% 3es left three essages a!d se*e! issed $alls o! y $ell%
3es also $alled hoe t"i$e% Eate has bee! *ery *ague as to "here 8 a% 3ell #!o" shes
$o*eri!g for e% Eate does!t do *ague% 0ut 8 ha*e de$ided to let hi ste"% 8 still too a!gry "ith
hi%
Christia! e!tio!ed soe #i!d of "ritte! paper"or#, a!d 8 do!t #!o" if he "as @o#i!g or if
8 goi!g to ha*e to sig! soethi!g% 8ts so frustrati!g tryi!g to guess% &!d o! top of all the a!gst, 8
$a! barely $o!tai! y e1$itee!t or y !er*es% To!ights the !ightK
&fter all this tie, a 8 ready for thisI =y i!!er goddess glares at e, tappi!g her sall foot
ipatie!tly% Shes bee! ready for this for years, a!d shes ready for a!ythi!g "ith Christia! >rey,
but 8 still do!t u!dersta!d "hat he sees i! eL ousey &!a Steele 9 it a#es !o se!se%
3e is pu!$tual, of $ourse, a!d "aiti!g for e "he! 8 lea*e Clayto!s% 3e $libs out of the
ba$# of the &udi to ope! the door a!d siles "arly at e%
G>ood e*e!i!g, =iss Steele,H he says%
G=r% >rey%H 8 !od politely to hi as 8 $lib i!to the ba$#seat of the $ar% Taylor is sitti!g i! the
dri*ers seat%
G3ello, Taylor,H 8 say%
G>ood e*e!i!g, =iss Steele,H his *oi$e is polite a!d professio!al% Christia! $libs i! the
other side a!d $lasps y ha!d, gi*i!g it a ge!tle sBueeFe that 8 feel all the "ay though y body%
G3o" "as "or#IH he as#s%
GAery lo!g,H 8 reply, a!d y *oi$e is hus#y, too lo", a!d full of !eed%
GJes, its bee! a lo!g day for e too%H 3is to!e is serious%
GWhat did you doIH 8 a!age%
G8 "e!t hi#i!g "ith Elliot%H 3is thub stro#es y #!u$#les, ba$# a!d forth, a!d y heart
s#ips a beat as y breathi!g a$$elerates% 3o" does he do this to eI 3es o!ly tou$hi!g a *ery
sall area of y body, a!d the horo!es are flyi!g%
The dri*e to the heliport is short a!d, before 8 #!o" it, "e arri*e% 8 "o!der "here the fabled
heli$opter ight be% Were i! a built9up area of the $ity a!d e*e! 8 #!o" heli$opters !eed spa$e to
ta#e off a!d la!d% Taylor par#s, $libs out, a!d ope!s y $ar door% Christia! is beside e i! a!
i!sta!t a!d ta#es y ha!d agai!%
GDeadyIH he as#s% 8 !od a!d "a!t to say for anything but 8 $a!t arti$ulate the "ords as 8
too !er*ous, too e1$ited%
GTaylor%H 3e !ods $urtly at his dri*er, a!d "e head i!to the buildi!g, straight to a set of
ele*ators% 8le6ator& The eory of our #iss this or!i!g $oes ba$# to hau!t e%
8 ha*e thought of !othi!g else all day% <aydreai!g at the register at Clayto!s% T"i$e =r%
Clayto! had to shout y !ae to bri!g e ba$# to Earth% To say 8*e bee! distra$ted "ould be the
u!derstatee!t of the year% Christia! gla!$es do"! at e, a slight sile o! his lips% 3aK 3es
thi!#i!g about it too%
G8ts o!ly three floors,H he says dryly, his gray eyes da!$i!g "ith ausee!t% 3es telepathi$
surely% 8ts spoo#y%
8 try to #eep y fa$e ipassi*e as "e e!ter the ele*ator% The doors $lose, a!d its there, the
"eird ele$tri$al attra$tio! $ra$#li!g bet"ee! us, e!sla*i!g e% 8 $lose y eyes i! a *ai! attept to
ig!ore it% 3e tighte!s his grip o! y ha!d, a!d fi*e se$o!ds later the doors ope! o! to the roof of
the buildi!g% &!d there it is, a "hite heli$opter "ith the !ae >rey E!terprises 3oldi!gs 8!$%
"ritte! i! blue "ith the $opa!y logo o! the side% %urely this is misuse of Company property.
3e leads e to a sall offi$e "here a! old tier sits behi!d the des#%
G3eres your flight pla!, =r% >rey% &ll e1ter!al $he$#s are do!e% 8ts ready a!d "aiti!g sir%
Joure free to go%H
GTha!# you, Joe%H Christia! siles "arly at hi%
/h% Soeo!e deser*i!g of the polite treate!t fro Christia!, perhaps hes !ot a! eployee%
8 stare at the old guy i! a"e%
GLets go,H Christia! says, a!d "e a#e our "ay to"ard the heli$opter% Whe! "ere up $lose,
its u$h bigger tha! 8 thought% 8 e1pe$ted it to be a roadster *ersio! for t"o, but it has at least
se*e! seats% Christia! ope!s the door a!d dire$ts e to o!e of the seats at the *ery fro!t%
GSit C do!t tou$h a!ythi!g,H he orders as he $labers i! behi!d e%
3e shuts the door "ith a sla% 8 glad that the area is floodlit, other"ise 8d fi!d it diffi$ult
to see i!side the sall $o$#pit% 8 sit do"! i! y allotted seat, a!d he $rou$hes beside e to strap e
i!to the har!ess% 8ts a four9poi!t har!ess "ith all the straps $o!!e$ti!g to o!e $e!tral bu$#le% 3e
tighte!s both of the upper straps, so 8 $a! hardly o*e%
3es so $lose a!d i!te!t o! "hat hes doi!g% 8f 8 $ould o!ly lea! for"ard, y !ose "ould be i!
his hair% 3e sells, $lea!, fresh, hea*e!ly, but 8 faste!ed se$urely i!to y seat a!d effe$ti*ely
iobile% 3e gla!$es up a!d siles, li#e hes e!@oyi!g his usual pri*ate @o#e, his gray eyes heated%
3es so ta!taliFi!gly $lose% 8 hold y breath as he pulls at o!e of the upper straps%
GJoure se$ure, !o es$api!g,H he "hispers, his eyes are s$or$hi!g% G0reathe, &!astasia,H he
adds softly% Dea$hi!g up, he $aresses y $hee#, ru!!i!g his lo!g fi!gers do"! to y $hi! "hi$h he
grasps bet"ee! his thub a!d forefi!ger% 3e lea!s for"ard a!d pla!ts a brief, $haste #iss o! y
lips, lea*i!g e reeli!g, y i!sides $le!$hi!g at the thrilli!g, u!e1pe$ted tou$h of his lips%
G8 li#e this har!ess,H he "hispers%
#hat.
3e sits do"! beside e a!d bu$#les hiself i!to his seat, the! begi!s a protra$ted pro$edure
of $he$#i!g gauges a!d flippi!g s"it$hes a!d butto!s fro the i!d9boggli!g array of dials a!d
lights a!d s"it$hes i! fro!t of e% Little lights "i!# a!d flash fro *arious dials, a!d the "hole of
the i!strue!t pa!el lights up%
G.ut your $a!s o!,H he says, poi!ti!g to a set of headpho!es i! fro!t of e% 8 pop the o!, a!d
the rotor blades start% They are deafe!i!g% 3e puts his headpho!es o! a!d $o!ti!ues flippi!g *arious
s"it$hes%
G8 @ust goi!g through all the pre9flight $he$#s%H Christia!s disebodied *oi$e is i! y ears
through the headpho!es% 8 tur! a!d gri! at hi%
G<o you #!o" "hat you are doi!gIH 8 as#% 3e tur!s a!d siles at e%
G8*e bee! a fully Bualified pilot for four years, &!astasia, youre safe "ith e%H 3e gi*es e
a "olfish gri!% GWell, "hile "ere flyi!g,H he adds a!d "i!#s at e%
#in(ing0 Christian&
G&re you readyIH
8 !od "ide eyed%
G/#ay, to"er% .<6 this is Charlie Ta!go >olf C >olf E$ho 3otel, $leared for ta#e9off%
.lease $o!fir, o*er%H
GCharlie Ta!go 9 you are $lear% .<6 to $all, pro$eed to o!e four thousa!d, headi!g Fero o!e
Fero, o*er% H
GDoger to"er, Charlie Ta!go set, o*er a!d out% 3ere "e go,H he adds to e, a!d the heli$opter
rises slo"ly a!d soothly i!to the air%
.ortla!d disappears i! fro!t us as "e head i!to 5S airspa$e, though y stoa$h reai!s
firly i! /rego!% WhoaK &ll the bright lights shri!# u!til they are t"i!#li!g s"eetly belo" us% 8ts
li#e loo#i!g out fro i!side a fish bo"l% /!$e "ere higher, there really is !othi!g to see% 8ts pit$h
bla$#, !ot e*e! the oo! to shed a!y light o! our @our!ey% 3o" $a! he see "here "ere goi!gI
GEerie is!t itIH Christia!s *oi$e is i! y ears%
G3o" do you #!o" youre goi!g the right "ayIH
G3ere%H 3e poi!ts his lo!g i!de1 fi!ger at o!e of the gauges, a!d it sho"s a! ele$tro!i$
$opass% GThis is a! EC124 Euro$opter% /!e of the safest i! its $lass% 8ts eBuipped for !ight flight%H
3e gla!$es a!d gri!s at e%
GTheres a helipad o! top of the buildi!g 8 li*e i!% Thats "here "ere headi!g%H
/f $ourse theres a helipad "here he li*es% 8 a so out of y league here% 3is fa$e is softly
illui!ated by the lights o! the i!strue!t pa!el% 3es $o!$e!trati!g hard, a!d hes $o!ti!ually
gla!$i!g at the *arious dials i! fro!t of hi% 8 dri!# i! his features fro be!eath y lashes% 3e has a
beautiful profile% Straight !ose, sBuare @a"ed C 8d li#e to ru! y to!gue alo!g his @a"% 3e has!t
sha*ed, a!d his stubble a#es the prospe$t doubly tepti!g% 3L 8d li#e to feel ho" rough it is
be!eath y to!gue, y fi!gers, agai!st y fa$e%
GWhe! you fly at !ight, you fly bli!d% Jou ha*e to trust the i!strue!tatio!,H he i!terrupts y
eroti$ re*erie%
G3o" lo!g "ill the flight beIH 8 a!age breathlessly% 8 "as!t thi!#i!g about se1 at all, !o, !o
"ay%
GLess tha! a! hour, the "i!d is i! our fa*or%H
7mm less than an hour to %eattle L thats !ot bad goi!g, !o "o!der "ere flyi!g%
8 ha*e less tha! a! hour before the big re*eal% &ll the us$les $le!$h deep i! y belly%
8 ha*e a serious $ase of butterflies% They are flourishi!g i! y stoa$h% 3oly shit, "hat has
he got i! store for eI
GJou o#ay, &!astasiaIH
GJes%H =y a!s"er is short, $lipped, sBueeFed out through y !er*es%
8 thi!# he siles, but its diffi$ult to tell i! the dar#!ess% Christia! fli$#s yet a!other s"it$h%
G.<6 this is Charlie Ta!go !o" at o!e four thousa!d, o*er%H 3e e1$ha!ges i!foratio! "ith
air traffi$ $o!trol% 8t all sou!ds *ery professio!al to e% 8 thi!# "ere o*i!g fro .ortla!ds air
spa$e to Seattle 8!ter!atio!al &irports%
G5!derstood Sea9Ta$, sta!di!g by o*er a!d out%H
GLoo#, o*er there%H 3e poi!ts to a sall pi!9poi!t of light i! the far dista!$e% GThats Seattle%H
G<o you al"ays ipress "oe! this "ayI Coe a!d fly i! y heli$opterIH 8 as#, ge!ui!ely
i!terested%
G8*e !e*er bought a girl up here, &!astasia% 8ts a!other first for e%H 3is *oi$e is Buiet,
serious%
/h, that "as a! u!e1pe$ted a!s"er% &!other firstI /h the sleepi!g thi!g, perhapsI
G&re you ipressedIH
G8 a"ed, Christia!%H
3e siles%
G&"edIH &!d for a brief oe!t, hes his age agai!%
8 !od%
GJoure @ust soL $opete!t%H
GWhy, tha!# you, =iss Steele,H he says politely% 8 thi!# hes pleased, but 8 !ot sure%
We ride i!to the dar# !ight i! sile!$e for a "hile% The bright spot that is Seattle is slo"ly
getti!g bigger%
GSea9Ta$ to"er to Charlie Ta!go% Flight pla! to Es$ala i! pla$e% .lease pro$eed% &!d sta!dby%
/*er%H
GThis is Charlie Ta!go, u!derstood Sea9Ta$% Sta!di!g by, o*er a!d out%H
GJou ob*iously e!@oy this,H 8 urur%
GWhatIH 3e gla!$es at e% 3e loo#s BuiFFi$al i! the half9light of the i!strue!ts%
GFlyi!g,H 8 reply%
G8t reBuires $o!trol a!d $o!$e!tratio!L ho" $ould 8 !ot lo*e itI Though, y fa*orite is
soari!g%H
GSoari!gIH
GJes% >lidi!g to the layperso!% >liders a!d heli$opters C 8 fly the both%H
G/h%H 8<pensi6e ho,,ies. 8 reeber hi telli!g e duri!g the i!ter*ie"% 8 li#e readi!g a!d
o$$asio!ally goi!g to the o*ies% 8 a out of y depth here%
GCharlie Ta!go $oe i! please, o*er%H The disebodied *oi$e of air traffi$ $o!trol i!terrupts
y re*erie% Christia! a!s"ers, sou!di!g i! $o!trol a!d $o!fide!t%
Seattle is getti!g $loser% We are o! the *ery outs#irts !o"% Wo"K 8t loo#s absolutely stu!!i!g%
Seattle at !ight, fro the s#yL
GLoo#s good, does!t itIH Christia! ururs%
8 !od e!thusiasti$ally% 8t loo#s other"orldly C u!real C a!d 8 feel li#e 8 o! a gia!t fil set,
JosNO222Ps fa*orite fil aybe, -9laderunner.* The eory of JosNO222Ps attepted #iss
hau!ts e% 8 begi!!i!g to feel a bit $ruel !ot $alli!g hi ba$#% 7e can wait until tomorrow0
surely.
GWell be there i! a fe" i!utes,H Christia! utters, a!d sudde!ly y blood is pou!di!g i!
y ears as y heartbeat a$$elerates a!d adre!ali!e spi#es through y syste% 3e starts tal#i!g to
air traffi$ $o!trol agai!, but 8 a !o lo!ger liste!i!g% /h yL 8 thi!# 8 goi!g to fai!t% =y fate is
i! his ha!ds%
We are !o" flyi!g ao!gst the buildi!gs, a!d up ahead 8 $a! see a tall s#ys$raper "ith a
helipad o! top% The "ord Es$ala is pai!ted i! "hite o! top of the buildi!g% 8ts getti!g !earer a!d
!earer, bigger a!d biggerL li#e y a!1iety% $od I hope I don*t let him down.
3ell fi!d e la$#i!g i! soe "ay% 8 "ish 8d liste!ed to Eate a!d borro"ed o!e of her
dresses, but 8 li#e y bla$# @ea!s, a!d 8 "eari!g a soft i!t gree! shirt a!d Eates bla$# @a$#et% 8
loo# sart e!ough% 8 grip the edge of y seat tighter a!d tighter% I can do this. I can do this. 8
$ha!t this a!tra as the s#ys$raper loos belo" us%
The heli$opter slo"s a!d ho*ers, a!d Christia! sets it do"! o! the helipad o! top of the
buildi!g% =y heart is i! y outh% 8 $a!t de$ide if its fro !er*ous a!ti$ipatio!, relief that "e*e
arri*ed ali*e, or fear that 8 "ill fail i! soe "ay% 3e s"it$hes the ig!itio! off a!d the rotor blades
slo" a!d Buiet u!til all 8 hear is the sou!d of y o"! errati$ breathi!g%
Christia! ta#es his headpho!es off, a!d rea$hes a$ross a!d pulls i!e off too%
GWere here,H he says softly%
3is loo# is so i!te!se, half i! shado" a!d half i! the bright "hite light fro the la!di!g lights%
<ar# #!ight a!d "hite #!ight, its a fitti!g etaphor for Christia!% 3e loo#s strai!ed% 3is @a" is
$le!$hed a!d his eyes are tight% 3e u!faste!s his seatbelt a!d rea$hes o*er to u!bu$#le i!e% 3is
fa$e is i!$hes fro i!e%
GJou do!t ha*e to do a!ythi!g you do!t "a!t to do% Jou #!o" that do!t youIH 3is to!e is
so ear!est, desperate e*e!, his gray eyes ipassio!ed% 3e ta#es e by surprise%
G8d !e*er do a!ythi!g 8 did!t "a!t to do, Christia!%H &!d as 8 say the "ords, 8 do!t Buite
feel their $o!*i$tio! be$ause at this oe!t i! tie C 8d probably do a!ythi!g for this a! seated
beside e% 0ut this does the tri$#% 3es ollified%
3e eyes e "arily for a oe!t a!d soeho", e*e! though hes so tall, he a!ages to ease
his "ay gra$efully to the door of the heli$opter a!d ope! it% 3e @ups out, "aiti!g for e to follo",
a!d ta#es y ha!d as 8 $laber do"! o! to the helipad% 8ts *ery "i!dy o! top of the buildi!g, a!d
8 !er*ous about the fa$t that 8 sta!di!g at least thirty stories high i! a! u!e!$losed spa$e%
Christia! "raps his ar arou!d y "aist, pulli!g e tightly agai!st hi%
GCoe,H he shouts abo*e the !oise of the "i!d% 3e drags e o*er to a! ele*ator shaft a!d,
after tappi!g a !uber i!to a #eypad, the doors ope!% 8ts "ar i!side a!d all irrored glass% 8 $a!
see Christia! to i!fi!ity e*ery"here 8 loo#, a!d the "o!derful thi!g is, hes holdi!g e to i!fi!ity
too% Christia! taps a!other $ode i!to the #eypad, the! the doors $lose a!d the ele*ator des$e!ds%
=oe!ts later, "ere i! a! all9"hite foyer% 8! the iddle is a rou!d, dar# "ood table, a!d o!
it is a! u!belie*ably huge bu!$h of "hite flo"ers% /! the "alls there are pai!ti!gs, e*ery"here% 3e
ope!s t"o double doors, a!d the "hite thee $o!ti!ues through the "ide $orridor a!d dire$tly
opposite "here a palatial roo ope!s up% 8ts the ai! li*i!g area, double height% 3uge is too sall
a "ord for it% The far "all is glass a!d leads o! to a bal$o!y that o*erloo#s Seattle%
To the right is a! iposi!g M5 shaped sofa that $ould sit te! adults $ofortably% 8t fa$es a
state9of9the9art stai!less steel C or aybe plati!u for all 8 #!o" 9 oder! firepla$e%
The fire is lit a!d flai!g ge!tly% /! the left beside us, by the e!try"ay, is the #it$he! area%
&ll "hite "ith dar# "ood "or#tops a!d a large brea#fast bar "hi$h seats si1%
+ear the #it$he! area, i! fro!t of the glass "all, is a di!i!g table surrou!ded by si1tee! $hairs%
&!d tu$#ed i! the $or!er is a full siFe, shi!y bla$# gra!d pia!o% /h yesL he probably plays the
pia!o too% There is art of all shapes a!d siFes o! all the "alls% 8! fa$t, this aparte!t loo#s ore li#e
a gallery tha! a pla$e to li*e%
GCa! 8 ta#e your @a$#etIH Christia! as#s% 8 sha#e y head% 8 still $old fro the "i!d o! the
helipad%
GWould you li#e a dri!#IH he as#s% 8 bli!# at hi% &fter last !ightK Is he trying to ,e funny.
For o!e se$o!d, 8 thi!# about as#i!g for a argarita C but 8 do!t ha*e the !er*e%
G8 goi!g to ha*e a glass of "hite "i!e, "ould you li#e to @oi! eIH
GJes, please,H 8 urur%
8 a sta!di!g i! this e!orous roo feeli!g out of pla$e% 8 "al# o*er to the glass "all, a!d 8
realiFe that the lo"er half of the "all ope!s $o!$erti!a9style o! to the bal$o!y% Seattle is lit up a!d
li*ely i! the ba$#grou!d% 8 "al# ba$# to the #it$he! area C it ta#es a fe" se$o!ds, its so far fro the
glass "all C a!d Christia! is ope!i!g a bottle of "i!e% 3es reo*ed his @a$#et%
G.ouilly FuNO222P o#ay "ith youIH
G8 #!o" !othi!g about "i!e, Christia!% 8 sure it "ill be fi!e%H =y *oi$e is soft a!d hesita!t%
=y heart is thupi!g% 8 "a!t to ru!% This is seriously ri$h% Seriously o*er9the9top 0ill >ates style
"ealthy% What a 8 doi!g hereI )ou (now 6ery well what you*re doing here 9 y sub$o!s$ious
s!eers at e% Jes, 8 "a!t to be i! Christia! >reys bed%
G3ere%H 3e ha!ds e a glass of "i!e% E*e! the glasses are ri$hL hea*y, $o!tepo9rary,
$rystal% 8 ta#e a sip, a!d the "i!e is light, $risp, a!d deli$ious%
GJoure *ery Buiet, a!d youre !ot e*e! blushi!g% 8! fa$t C 8 thi!# this is the palest 8*e e*er
see! you, &!astasia,H he ururs% G&re you hu!gryIH
8 sha#e y head% +ot for food%
G8ts a *ery big pla$e you ha*e here%H
G0igIH
G0ig%H
G8ts big,H he agrees, a!d his eyes glo" "ith ausee!t% 8 ta#e a!other sip of "i!e%
G<o you playIH 8 poi!t y $hi! at the pia!o%
GJes%H
GWellIH
GJes%H
G/f $ourse you do% 8s there a!ythi!g you $a!t do "ellIH
GJesL a fe" thi!gs%H 3e ta#es a sip of his "i!e% 3e does!t ta#e his eyes off e% 8 feel the
follo"i!g e as 8 tur! a!d gla!$e arou!d this *ast roo% Doo is the "ro!g "ord%
8ts !ot a roo C its a issio! statee!t%
G<o you "a!t to sitIH
8 !od, a!d he ta#es y ha!d a!d leads e to the large off9"hite $ou$h% &s 8 sit, 8 stru$# by
the fa$t that 8 feel li#e Tess <urbeyfield loo#i!g at the !e" house that belo!gs to the !otorious &le$
<5rber*ille% The thought a#es e sile%
GWhats so ausi!gIH 3e sits do"! beside e, tur!i!g to fa$e e% 3e rests his head o! his
right ha!d, his elbo" propped o! the ba$# of the $ou$h%
GWhy did you gi*e e Tess of the <5rber*illes spe$ifi$allyIH 8 as#% Christia! stares at e
for a oe!t% 8 thi!# hes surprised by y Buestio!%
GWell, you said you li#ed Thoas 3ardy%H
G8s that the o!ly reaso!IH E*e! 8 $a! hear the disappoi!te!t i! y *oi$e% 3is outh presses
i!to a hard li!e%
G8t seeed appropriate% 8 $ould hold you to soe ipossibly high ideal li#e &!gel Clare or
debase you $opletely li#e &le$ <5rber*ille,H he ururs, a!d his gray eyes flash dar# a!d
da!gerous%
G8f there are o!ly t"o $hoi$es, 8ll ta#e the debasee!t%H 8 "hisper, gaFi!g at hi% =y
sub$o!s$ious is stari!g at e i! a"e% 3e gasps%
G&!astasia, stop biti!g your lip, please% 8ts *ery distra$ti!g% Jou do!t #!o" "hat youre
sayi!g%H
GThats "hy 8 here%H
3e fro"!s%
GJes% Would you e1$use e a oe!tIH 3e disappears through a "ide door"ay o! the far
side of the roo% 3es go!e for a $ouple of i!utes a!d retur!s "ith a do$ue!t%
GThis is a !o!9dis$losure agreee!t%H 3e shrugs a!d has the gra$e to loo# a little
ebarrassed% G=y la"yer i!sists o! it%H 3e ha!ds it to e% 8 $opletely beused% G8f youre
goi!g for optio! t"o, debasee!t, youll !eed to sig! this%H
G&!d if 8 do!t "a!t to sig! a!ythi!gIH
GThe! its &!gel Clare high ideals, "ell, for ost of the boo# a!y"ay%H
GWhat does this agreee!t ea!IH
G8t ea!s you $a!!ot dis$lose a!ythi!g about us% &!ythi!g, to a!yo!e%H
8 stare at hi i! disbelief% 3oly shit% 8ts bad, really bad, a!d !o" 8 *ery $urious to #!o"%
G/#ay% 8ll sig!%H
3e ha!ds e a pe!%
G&re!t you e*e! goi!g to read itIH
G+o%H
3e fro"!s%
G&!astasia, you should al"ays read a!ythi!g you sig!,H he ado!ishes e%
GChristia!, "hat you fail to u!dersta!d is that 8 "ould!t tal# about us to a!yo!e, a!y"ay%
E*e! Eate% So its iaterial "hether 8 sig! a! agreee!t or !ot% 8f it ea!s so u$h to you, or
your la"yerL "ho you ob*iously tal# to, the! fi!e% 8ll sig!%H
3e gaFes do"! at e, a!d he !ods gra*ely%
GFair poi!t "ell ade, =iss Steele%H
8 la*ishly sig! o! the dotted li!e of both $opies a!d ha!d o!e ba$# to hi% Foldi!g the other, 8
pla$e it y purse a!d ta#e a large s"ig of y "i!e% 8 sou!di!g so u$h bra*er tha! 8 a$tually
feeli!g%
G<oes this ea! youre goi!g to a#e lo*e to e to!ight, Christia!IH 7oly shit. 4id I +ust
say that. 3is outh drops ope! slightly, but he re$o*ers Bui$#ly%
G+o, &!astasia it does!t% Firstly, 8 do!t a#e lo*e% 8 fu$#L hard% Se$o!dly, theres a lot
ore paper"or# to do, a!d thirdly, you do!t yet #!o" "hat youre i! for% Jou $ould still ru! for the
hills% Coe, 8 "a!t to sho" you y playroo%H
=y outh drops ope!% 'uc( hard& 3oly shit, that sou!ds soL hot% 0ut "hy are "e loo#i!g
at a playrooI 8 a ystified%
GJou "a!t to play o! your 6bo1IH 8 as#% 3e laughs, loudly%
G+o, &!astasia, !o 6bo1, !o .laystatio!% Coe%H 3e sta!ds, holdi!g out his ha!d% 8 let hi
lead e ba$# out to the $orridor% /! the right of the double doors, "here "e $ae i!, a!other door
leads to a stair$ase% We go up to the se$o!d floor a!d tur! right% .rodu$i!g a #ey fro his po$#et, he
u!lo$#s yet a!other door a!d ta#es a deep breath%
GJou $a! lea*e a!ytie% The heli$opter is o! sta!d9by to ta#e you "he!e*er you "a!t to go,
you $a! stay the !ight a!d go hoe i! the or!i!g% 8ts fi!e "hate*er you de$ide%H
GJust ope! the da! door, Christia!%H
3e ope!s the door a!d sta!ds ba$# to let e i!% 8 gaFe at hi o!$e ore% 8 so "a!t to #!o"
"hats i! here% Ta#i!g a deep breath 8 "al# i!%
&!d it feels li#e 8*e tie9tra*eled ba$# to the si1tee!th $e!tury a!d the Spa!ish 8!Buisitio!%
7oly fuc(.
The first thi!g 8 !oti$e is the sellP leather, "ood, polish "ith a fai!t $itrus s$e!t% 8ts *ery
pleasa!t, a!d the lighti!g is soft, subtle% 8! fa$t, 8 $a!t see the sour$e, but its arou!d the $or!i$e i!
the roo, eitti!g a! abie!t glo"% The "alls a!d $eili!g are a deep, dar# bur9gu!dy, gi*i!g a
"ob9li#e effe$t to the spa$ious roo, a!d the floor is old, old *ar!ished "ood% There is a large
"oode! $ross li#e a! 6 faste!ed to the "all fa$i!g the door% 8ts ade of high9polished ahoga!y,
a!d there are restrai!i!g $uffs o! ea$h $or!er% &bo*e it is a! e1pa!si*e iro! grid suspe!ded fro the
$eili!g, eight9foot sBuare at least, a!d fro it ha!g all a!!er of ropes, $hai!s, a!d gli!ti!g
sha$#les% 0y the door, t"o lo!g, polished, or!ately $ar*ed poles, li#e spi!dles fro a ba!ister but
lo!ger, ha!g li#e $urtai! rods a$ross the "all% Fro the s"i!g a startli!g assorte!t of paddles,
"hips, ridi!g $rops, a!d fu!!y9loo#i!g feathery iplee!ts%
0eside the door sta!ds a substa!tial ahoga!y $hest of dra"ers, ea$h dra"er sli as if
desig!ed to $o!tai! spe$ie!s i! a $rusty old useu% 8 "o!der briefly "hat the dra"ers a$tually
do hold% 4o I want to (now. 8! the far $or!er is a! o1blood leather padded be!$h, a!d fi1ed to
the "all beside it is a "oode!, polished ra$# that loo#s li#e a pool or billiard $ue holder, but o!
$loser i!spe$tio!, it holds $a!es of *aryi!g le!gths a!d "idths% Theres a stout si19foot9lo!g table i!
the opposite $or!er C polished "ood "ith i!tri$ately $ar*ed legs C a!d t"o at$hi!g stools
u!der!eath%
0ut "hat doi!ates the roo is a bed% 8ts bigger tha! #i!g9siFe, a! or!ately $ar*ed ro$o$o
four9poster "ith a flat top% 8t loo#s late !i!etee!th $e!tury% 5!der the $a!opy, 8 $a! see ore
gleai!g $hai!s a!d $uffs% There is !o beddi!g%%% @ust a attress $o*ered i! red leather a!d red sati!
$ushio!s piled at o!e e!d%
&t the foot of the bed, set apart a fe" feet, is a large o1blood $hesterfield $ou$h, @ust stu$# i!
the iddle of the roo fa$i!g the bed% &! odd arra!gee!tL to ha*e a $ou$h fa$i!g the bed, a!d 8
sile to yself C 8*e pi$#ed o! the $ou$h as odd, "he! really its the ost u!da!e pie$e of
fur!iture i! the roo% 8 gla!$e up a!d stare at the $eili!g% There are #arabi!ers all o*er the $eili!g at
odd i!ter*als% 8 *aguely "o!der "hat theyre for% Weirdly, all the "ood, dar# "alls, oody lighti!g,
a!d o1blood leather a#es the roo #i!d of soft a!d roa!ti$L 8 #!o" its a!ythi!g but, this is
Christia!s *ersio! of soft a!d roa!ti$%
8 tur!, a!d hes regardi!g e i!te!tly as 8 #!e" he "ould be, his e1pressio! $opletely
u!readable% 8 "al# further i!to the roo, a!d he follo"s e% The feathery thi!g has e i!trigued% 8
tou$h it hesita!tly% 8ts suede, li#e a sall $at9of9!i!e9tails but bushier, a!d there are *ery sall
plasti$ beads o! the e!d%
G8ts $alled a flogger,H Christia!s *oi$e is Buiet a!d soft%
A flogger0 hmm. 8 thi!# 8 i! sho$#% =y sub$o!s$ious has eigrated or bee! stru$# dub
or siply #eeled o*er a!d e1pired% 8 a !ub% 8 $a! obser*e a!d absorb but !ot arti$ulate y
feeli!gs about all this, be$ause 8 i! sho$#% What is the appropriate respo!se to fi!di!g out a
pote!tial lo*er is a $oplete frea#y sadist or aso$histI 'ear L yesL that sees to be the o*er9
ridi!g feeli!g% 8 re$og!iFe it !o"% 0ut "eirdly !ot of hi C 8 do!t thi!# hed hurt e, "ell, !ot
"ithout y $o!se!t% So a!y Buestio!s $loud y i!d%
WhyI 3o"I Whe!I 3o" ofte!I WhoI 8 "al# to"ard the bed a!d ru! y ha!ds do"! o!e of
the i!tri$ately $ar*ed posts% The post is *ery sturdy, the $raftsa!ship outsta!di!g%
GSay soethi!g,H Christia! $oa!ds, his *oi$e de$epti*ely soft%
G<o you do this to people or do they do it to youIH
3is outh Buir#s up, either aused or relie*ed%
G.eopleIH 3e bli!#s a $ouple of ties as he $o!siders his a!s"er% G8 do this to "oe! "ho
"a!t e to%H
8 do!t u!dersta!d%
G8f you ha*e "illi!g *olu!teers, "hy a 8 hereIH
G0e$ause 8 "a!t to do this "ith you, *ery u$h%H
G/h,H 8 gasp% #hy.
8 "a!der to the far $or!er of the roo a!d pat the "aist high padded be!$h a!d ru! y fi!gers
o*er the leather% 7e li(es to hurt women. The thought depresses e%
GJoure a sadistIH
G8 a <oi!a!t%H 3is eyes are a s$or$hi!g gray, i!te!se%
GWhat does that ea!IH 8 "hisper%
G8t ea!s 8 "a!t you to "illi!gly surre!der yourself to e, i! all thi!gs%H
8 fro"! at hi as 8 try to assiilate this idea%
GWhy "ould 8 do thatIH
GTo please e,H he "hispers as he $o$#s his head to o!e side, a!d 8 see a ghost of a sile%
/lease him& 7e wants me to please him& 8 thi!# y outh drops ope!% /lease Christian
$rey. &!d 8 realiFe, i! that oe!t, that yes, thats e1a$tly "hat 8 "a!t to do% 8 "a!t hi to be
da!ed delighted "ith e% 8ts a re*elatio!%
G8! *ery siple ters, 8 "a!t you to "a!t to please e,H he says softly% 3is *oi$e is hyp!oti$%
G3o" do 8 do thatIH =y outh is dry, a!d 8 "ish 8 had ore "i!e% /#ay, 8 u!dersta!d the
pleasi!g bit, but 8 a puFFled by the soft9boudoir9EliFabetha!9torture set up% <o 8 "a!t to #!o" the
a!s"erI
G8 ha*e rules, a!d 8 "a!t you to $oply "ith the% They are for your be!efit a!d for y
pleasure% 8f you follo" these rules to y satisfa$tio!, 8 shall re"ard you% 8f you do!t, 8 shall pu!ish
you, a!d you "ill lear!,H he "hispers% 8 gla!$e at the ra$# of $a!es as he says this .
G&!d "here does all this fit i!IH 8 "a*e y ha!d i! the ge!eral dire$tio! of the roo%
G8ts all part of the i!$e!ti*e pa$#age% 0oth re"ard a!d pu!ishe!t%H
GSo youll get your #i$#s by e1erti!g your "ill o*er e%H
G8ts about gai!i!g your trust a!d your respe$t, so youll let e e1ert y "ill o*er you%
8 "ill gai! a great deal of pleasure, @oy, e*e! i! your subissio!% The ore you subit, the
greater y @oy C its a *ery siple eBuatio!%H
G/#ay, a!d "hat do 8 get out of thisIH
3e shrugs a!d loo#s alost apologeti$%
G=e,H he says siply%
Oh my. Christia! ra#es his ha!d through his hair as he gaFes at e%
GJoure !ot gi*i!g a!ythi!g a"ay, &!astasia,H he ururs, e1asperated% GLets go ba$#
do"!stairs "here 8 $a! $o!$e!trate better% 8ts *ery distra$ti!g ha*i!g you i! here%H
3e holds his ha!d out to e, a!d !o" 8 hesita!t to ta#e it%
Eate had said he "as da!gerous, she "as so right% 7ow did she (now. 3es da!gerous to y
health, be$ause 8 #!o" 8 goi!g to say yes% &!d part of e does!t "a!t to%
.art of e "a!ts to ru! s$reai!g fro this roo a!d all it represe!ts% 8 a so out of y
depth here%
G8 !ot goi!g to hurt you, &!astasia%H 3is gray eyes iplore, a!d 8 #!o" he spea#s the truth%
8 ta#e his ha!d, a!d he leads e out of the door%
G8f you do this, let e sho" you%H Dather tha! goi!g ba$# do"!stairs, he tur!s right out of the
playroom as he $alls it, a!d do"! a $orridor% We pass se*eral doors u!til "e rea$h the o!e at the
e!d% 0eyo!d it is a bedroo "ith a large double bed, all i! "hiteL
e*erythi!g, fur!iture, "alls, beddi!g% 8ts sterile a!d $old but "ith the ost glorious *ie" of
Seattle through the glass "all%
GThis "ill be your roo% Jou $a! de$orate it ho" you li#e, ha*e "hate*er you li#e i! here%H
G=y rooI Joure e1pe$ti!g e to o*e i!IH 8 $a!t hide the horror i! y *oi$e%
G+ot full tie% Just say, Friday e*e!i!g through Su!day% We ha*e to tal# about all that,
!egotiate% 8f you "a!t to do this,H he adds, his *oi$e Buiet a!d hesita!t%
G8ll sleep hereIH
GJes%H
G+ot "ith you%H
G+o% 8 told you, 8 do!t sleep "ith a!yo!e, e1$ept you, "he! youre stupefied "ith dri!#%H 3is
eyes are repria!di!g%
=y outh presses i! a hard li!e% This is "hat 8 $a!!ot re$o!$ile% Ei!d, $ari!g Christia!, "ho
res$ues e fro i!ebriatio! a!d holds e ge!tly "hile 8 thro"i!g up i!to the aFaleas, a!d the
o!ster "ho possesses "hips a!d $hai!s i! a spe$ial roo%
GWhere do you sleepIH
G=y roo is do"!stairs% Coe, you ust be hu!gry%H
GWeirdly, 8 see to ha*e lost y appetite,H 8 urur petula!tly%
GJou ust eat, &!astasia,H he ado!ishes a!d, ta#i!g y ha!d, leads e ba$# do"!stairs%
0a$# i! the ipossibly big roo, 8 a filled "ith deep trepidatio!% 8 a o! the edge of a
pre$ipi$e, a!d 8 ha*e to de$ide "hether or !ot to @up%
G8 fully a"are that this is a dar# path 8 leadi!g you do"!, &!astasia, "hi$h is "hy 8
really "a!t you to thi!# about this% Jou ust ha*e soe Buestio!s,H he says as he "a!ders i!to the
#it$he! area, releasi!g y ha!d%
I do. 9ut where to start.
GJou*e sig!ed your +<&, you $a! as# e a!ythi!g you "a!t, a!d 8ll a!s"er%H
8 sta!d at the brea#fast bar "at$hi!g hi as he ope!s the refrigerator a!d pulls out a plate of
differe!t $heeses "ith t"o large bu!$hes of gree! a!d red grapes% 3e sets the plate do"! o! the
"or#top a!d pro$eeds to $ut up a Fre!$h baguette%
GSit%H 3e poi!ts to o!e of the bar stools at the brea#fast bar, a!d 8 obey his $oa!d%
8f 8 goi!g to do this, 8 goi!g to ha*e to get used to it% 8 realiFe hes bee! this bossy si!$e 8
et hi%
GJou e!tio!ed paper"or#%H
GJes%H
GWhat paper"or#IH
GWell, apart fro the +<&, a $o!tra$t sayi!g "hat "e "ill a!d "o!t do% 8 !eed to #!o" your
liits, a!d you !eed to #!o" i!e% This is $o!se!sual, &!astasia%H
G&!d if 8 do!t "a!t to do thisIH
GThats fi!e,H he says $arefully%
G0ut "e "o!t ha*e a!y sort of relatio!shipIH 8 as#%
G+o%H
GWhyIH
GThis is the o!ly sort of relatio!ship 8 i!teresti!g i!%H
GWhyIH
3e shrugs%
G8ts the "ay 8 a%H
G3o" did you be$oe this "ayIH
GWhy is a!yo!e the "ay they areI Thats #i!d of hard to a!s"er% Why do soe people li#e
$heese a!d other people hate itI <o you li#e $heeseI =rs% Jo!es C y house#eeper
C has left this for supper%H 3e ta#es soe large, "hite plates fro a $upboard a!d pla$es o!e
i! fro!t of e%
#e*re tal(ing a,out cheese0 7oly crap.
GWhat are your rules that 8 ha*e to follo"IH
G8 ha*e the "ritte! do"!% Well go through the o!$e "e*e eate!%H
'ood. 7ow can I eat now.
G8 really !ot hu!gry,H 8 "hisper%
GJou "ill eat,H he says siply% 4ominating Christian it all ,ecomes clear. GWould you li#e
a!other glass of "i!eIH
GJes, please%H
3e pours "i!e i!to y glass a!d $oes to sit beside e% 8 ta#e a hasty sip%
G3elp yourself to food, &!astasia%H
8 ta#e a sall bu!$h of grapes% This 8 $a! a!age% 3e !arro"s his eyes%
G3a*e you bee! li#e this for a "hileIH 8 as#%
GJes%H
G8s it easy to fi!d "oe! "ho "a!t to do thisIH
3e raises a! eyebro" at e%
GJoud be aaFed,H he says dryly%
GThe! "hy eI 8 really do!t u!dersta!d%H
G&!astasia, 8*e told you% Theres soethi!g about you% 8 $a!t lea*e you alo!e%H 3e siles
iro!i$ally% G8 li#e a oth to a flae%H 3is *oi$e dar#e!s% G8 "a!t you *ery badly, espe$ially !o",
"he! youre biti!g your lip agai!%H 3e ta#es a deep breath a!d s"allo"s%
=y stoa$h soersaults C he "a!ts eL i! a "eird "ay, true, but this beautiful, stra!ge,
#i!#y a! "a!ts e%
G8 thi!# you ha*e that $li$hNO222P the "ro!g "ay rou!d%H 8 gruble% 8 a the oth a!d he is
the flae, a!d 8 goi!g to get bur!t% 8 #!o"%
GEatKH
G+o% 8 ha*e!t sig!ed a!ythi!g yet, so 8 thi!# 8ll ha!g o! to y free "ill for a bit lo!ger, if
thats o#ay "ith you%H
3is eyes softe!, a!d his lips tur! up i! a sile%
G&s you "ish, =iss Steele%H
G3o" a!y "oe!IH 8 blurt out the Buestio!, but 8 so $urious%
GFiftee!%H
/hL !ot as a!y as 8 thought%
GFor lo!g periods of tieIH
GSoe of the, yes%H
G3a*e you e*er hurt a!yo!eIH
GJes%H
7oly shit.
B 0adlyIH
G+o%H
GWill you hurt eIH
GWhat do you ea!IH
G.hysi$ally, "ill you hurt eIH
G8 "ill pu!ish you "he! you reBuire it, a!d it "ill be pai!ful%H
8 thi!# 8 feel a little fai!t% 8 ta#e a!other sip of "i!e% &l$ohol 9 this "ill a#e e bra*e%
G3a*e you e*er bee! beate!IH 8 as#%
GJes%H
/hL that surprises e% 0efore 8 $a! Buestio! hi o! this re*elatio! further, he i!terrupts y
trai! of thought%
GLets dis$uss this i! y study% 8 "a!t to sho" you soethi!g%H
This is so hard to pro$ess% 3ere 8 "as foolishly thi!#i!g that 8d spe!d a !ight of u!9paralleled
passio! i! this a!s bed, a!d "ere !egotiati!g this "eird arra!gee!t%
8 follo" hi i!to his study, a spa$ious roo "ith a!other floor9to9$eili!g "i!do" that ope!s
out o! to the bal$o!y% 3e sits o! the des#, otio!s for e to sit o! a leather $hair i! fro!t of hi,
a!d ha!ds e a pie$e of paper%
GThese are the rules% They ay be sub@e$t to $ha!ge% They for part of the $o!tra$t, "hi$h
you $a! also ha*e% Dead these rules a!d lets dis$uss%H
RULES
Obedience:
The Subissi*e "ill obey a!y i!stru$tio!s gi*e! by the <oi!a!t iediately "ithout
hesitatio! or reser*atio! a!d i! a! e1peditious a!!er% The Subissi*e "ill agree to a!y se1ual
a$ti*ity deeed fit a!d pleasurable by the <oi!a!t e1$epti!g those a$ti*ities "hi$h are outli!ed i!
hard liits ,&ppe!di1 2-% She "ill do so eagerly a!d "ithout hesitatio!%
Sleep:
The Subissi*e "ill e!sure she a$hie*es a i!iu of se*e! hours sleep a !ight "he! she is
!ot "ith the <oi!a!t%
Food:
The Subissi*e "ill eat regularly to ai!tai! her health a!d "ellbei!g fro a pres$ribed list
of foods ,&ppe!di1 S-% The Subissi*e "ill !ot s!a$# bet"ee! eals, "ith the e1$eptio! of fruit%
Clothes:
<uri!g the Ter, the Subissi*e "ill "ear $lothi!g o!ly appro*ed by the <oi!a!t% The
<oi!a!t "ill pro*ide a $lothi!g budget for the Subissi*e, "hi$h the Subissi*e shall utiliFe%
The <oi!a!t shall a$$opa!y the Subissi*e to pur$hase $lothi!g o! a! ad ho$ basis% 8f the
<oi!a!t so reBuires, the Subissi*e shall duri!g the Ter a!y ador!e!ts the <oi!a!t shall
reBuire, i! the prese!$e of the <oi!a!t a!d a!y other tie the <oi!a!t dees fit%
E1er$ise:
The <oi!a!t shall pro*ide the Subissi*e "ith a perso!al trai!er four ties a "ee# i! hour9
lo!g sessio!s at ties to be utually agreed bet"ee! the perso!al trai!er a!d the Subissi*e% The
perso!al trai!er "ill report to the <oi!a!t o! the Subissi*es progress%
.erso!al 3ygie!e?0eauty:
The Subissi*e "ill #eep herself $lea! a!d sha*ed a!d?or "a1ed at all ties% The Subissi*e
"ill *isit a beauty salo! of the <oi!a!ts $hoosi!g at ties to be de$ided by the <oi!a!t, a!d
u!dergo "hate*er treate!ts the <oi!a!t sees fit%
.erso!al Safety:
The Subissi*e "ill !ot dri!# to e1$ess, so#e, ta#e re$reatio!al drugs, or put herself i! a!y
u!!e$essary da!ger%
.erso!al Qualities:
The Subissi*e "ill !ot e!ter i!to a!y se1ual relatio!s "ith a!yo!e other tha! the <oi!a!t%
The Subissi*e "ill $o!du$t herself i! a respe$tful a!d odest a!!er at all ties%
She ust re$og!iFe that her beha*ior is a dire$t refle$tio! o! the <oi!a!t% She shall be held
a$$ou!table for a!y isdeeds, "ro!gdoi!gs, a!d isbeha*ior $oitted "he! !ot i! the prese!$e
of the <oi!a!t%
Failure to $oply "ith a!y of the abo*e "ill result i! iediate pu!ishe!t, the !ature of
"hi$h shall be deteri!ed by the <oi!a!t%
7oly fuc(.
G3ard liitsIH 8 as#%
GJes% What you "o!t do, "hat 8 "o!t do, "e !eed to spe$ify i! our agreee!t%H
G8 !ot sure about a$$epti!g o!ey for $lothes% 8t feels "ro!g%H 8 shift u!$ofortably, the
"ord Mho rattli!g rou!d y head%
G8 "a!t to la*ish o!ey o! you, let e buy you soe $lothes% 8 ay !eed you to a$$opa!y
e to fu!$tio!s, a!d 8 "a!t you dressed "ell% 8 sure your salary, "he! you do get a @ob, "o!t
$o*er the #i!d of $lothes 8d li#e you to "ear%H
G8 do!t ha*e to "ear the "he! 8 !ot "ith youIH
G+o%H
G/#ay%H 1hin( of them as uniform.
G8 do!t "a!t to e1er$ise four ties a "ee#%H
G&!astasia, 8 !eed you supple, stro!g, a!d "ith stai!a% Trust e, you !eed to e1er$ise%HG0ut
surely !ot four ties a "ee#, ho" about threeIH
G8 "a!t you to do four%H
G8 thought this "as a !egotiatio!IH
3e purses his lips at e%
G/#ay, =iss Steele, a!other poi!t "ell ade% 3o" about a! hour o! three days a!d o!e day
half a! hourIH
GThree days, three hours% 8 get the ipressio! youre goi!g to #eep e e1er$ised "he! 8
here%H
3e siles "i$#edly, a!d his eyes glo" as if relie*ed% GJes, 8 a% /#ay, agreed% &re you sure
you do!t "a!t to i!ter! at y $opa!yI Joure a good !egotiator%H
G+o, 8 do!t thi!# thats a good idea%H 8 stare do"! at his rules% #a<ing& #a<ing what.
86erything. 5gh.
GSo, liits% These are i!e%H 3e ha!ds e a!other pie$e of paper%
Hard Limits
No acts involving fire play
+o a$ts i!*ol*i!g uri!atio! or defe$atio! a!d the produ$ts thereof +o a$ts i!*ol*i!g !eedles,
#!i*es, pier$i!g, or blood
+o a$ts i!*ol*i!g gy!e$ologi$al edi$al i!strue!ts
+o a$ts i!*ol*i!g $hildre! or a!ials
+o a$ts that "ill lea*e a!y pera!e!t ar#s o! the s#i!
+o a$ts i!*ol*i!g breath $o!trol
5gh. 7e has to write these down& /f $ourse C they all loo# *ery se!sible, a!d fra!#ly,
!e$essaryL a!y sa!e perso! "ould!t "a!t to be i!*ol*ed i! this sort of thi!g surelyI
Though 8 !o" feel a little Bueasy%
G8s there a!ythi!g youd li#e to addIH he as#s #i!dly%
Crap. 8*e !o idea% 8 a $opletely stuped% 3e gaFes at e a!d furro"s his bro"%
G8s there a!ythi!g you "o!t doIH
G8 do!t #!o"%H
GWhat do you ea! you do!t #!o"IH
8 sBuir u!$ofortably a!d bite y lip%
G8*e !e*er do!e a!ythi!g li#e this%H
GWell, "he! you*e had se1, "as there a!ythi!g that you did!t li#e doi!gIH
For the first tie i! "hat sees to be ages, 8 blush%
GJou $a! tell e, &!astasia% We ha*e to be ho!est "ith ea$h other or this is!t goi!g to "or#%H
8 sBuir u!$ofortably agai! a!d stare at y #!otted fi!gers%
GTell e,H he $oa!ds%
GWellL 8*e !ot had se1 before, so 8 do!t #!o"%H =y *oi$e is sall% 8 pee# up at hi, a!d
hes stari!g at e, outh9ope!, froFe!, a!d pale 9 really pale%
G+e*erIH he "hispers% 8 sha#e y head%
GJoure a *irgi!IH he breathes% 8 !od, flushi!g agai!% 3e $loses his eyes a!d loo#s to be
$ou!ti!g to te!% Whe! he ope!s the agai!, hes a!gry, glari!g at e%
GWhy the fu$# did!t you tell eIH he gro"ls%
Christia! is ru!!i!g both his ha!ds through his hair a!d pa$i!g up a!d do"! his study%
T"o ha!ds C thats double e1asperatio!% 3is usual $o!$rete $o!trol sees to ha*e slipped a
!ot$h%
G8 do!t u!dersta!d "hy you did!t tell e,H he $astigates e%
GThe sub@e$t !e*er $ae up% 8 !ot i! the habit of re*eali!g y se1ual status to e*eryo!e 8
eet% 8 ea!, "e hardly #!o" ea$h other%H 8 stari!g at y ha!ds% Why a 8 feeli!g guiltyI Why
is he so adI 8 pee# up at hi%
GWell, you #!o" a lot ore about e !o",H he s!aps, his outh presses i!to a hard li!e% G8
#!e" you "ere i!e1perie!$ed, but a 6irgin& H 3e says it li#e its a really dirty "ord%
G3ell, &!a, 8 @ust sho"ed you,H he groa!s% G=ay >od forgi*e e% 3a*e you e*er bee! #issed,
apart fro by eIH
G/f $ourse 8 ha*e%H 8 try y best to loo# affro!ted% O(ay0 may,e twice.
G&!d a !i$e you!g a! has!t s"ept you off your feetI 8 @ust do!t u!dersta!d% Joure
t"e!ty9o!e, !early t"e!ty9t"o% Joure beautiful%H 3e ru!s his ha!d through his hair agai!%
9eautiful. 8 flush "ith pleasure% Christia! >rey thi!#s 8 beautiful% 8 #!ot y fi!gers
together, stari!g at the hard, tryi!g to $o!$eal y goofy gri!% /erhaps he*s near;sighted y
sub$o!s$ious has reared her so!abula!t head% Where "as she "he! 8 !eeded herI
G&!d youre seriously dis$ussi!g "hat 8 "a!t to do, "he! you ha*e !o e1perie!$e%H
3is bro"s #!it together% G3o" ha*e you a*oided se1I Tell e, please%H
8 shrug%
G+o o!es really, you #!o"%H Coe up to s$rat$h, o!ly you% &!d you tur! out to be soe #i!d
of o!ster% GWhy are you so a!gry "ith eIH 8 "hisper%
G8 !ot a!gry "ith you, 8 a!gry "ith yself% 8 @ust assuedL H 3e sighs% 3e regards e
shre"dly a!d the! sha#es his head% G<o you "a!t to goIH he as#s, his *oi$e ge!tle%
G+o, u!less you "a!t e to go,H 8 urur% Oh no0 I don*t want to lea6e.
G/f $ourse !ot% 8 li#e ha*i!g you here%H 3e fro"!s as he says this a!d the! gla!$es at his
"at$h% G8ts late%H &!d he tur!s to loo# at e% GJoure biti!g your lip%H 3is *oi$e is hus#y, a!d hes
eyei!g e spe$ulati*ely%
GSorry%H
G<o!t apologiFe% 8ts @ust that 8 "a!t to bite it too, hard%H
8 gaspL ho" $a! he say thi!gs li#e that to e a!d !ot e1pe$t e to be affe$ted%
GCoe,H he ururs%H
GWhatIH
GWere goi!g to re$tify the situatio! right !o"%H
GWhat do you ea!I What situatio!IH
GJour situatio!% &!a, 8 goi!g to a#e lo*e to you, !o"%H
G/h%H The floor has falle! a"ay . I*m a situation. 8 holdi!g y breath%
GThats if you "a!t to, 8 ea!, 8 do!t "a!t to push y lu$#%H
G8 thought you did!t a#e lo*e% 8 thought you fu$#ed hard%H 8 s"allo", y outh sudde!ly
dry%
3e gi*es e a "i$#ed gri!, the effe$ts of "hi$h tra*el all the "ay do"! there.
G8 $a! a#e a! e1$eptio!, or aybe $obi!e the t"o, "ell see% 8 really "a!t to a#e lo*e to
you% .lease, $oe to bed "ith e% 8 "a!t our arra!gee!t to "or#, but you really !eed to ha*e
soe idea "hat youre getti!g yourself i!to% We $a! start your trai!i!g to!ight C "ith the basi$s%
This does!t ea! 8*e $oe o*er all hearts a!d flo"ers, its a ea!s to a! e!d, but o!e that 8 "a!t,
a!d hopefully you do too%H 3is gray gaFe is i!te!se%
8 flushL oh my L "ishes do $oe true%
G0ut 8 ha*e!t do!e all the thi!gs you reBuire fro your list of rules%H =y *oi$e is all breathy,
hesita!t%
GForget about the rules% Forget about all those details for to!ight% 8 "a!t you% 8*e "a!ted you
si!$e you fell i!to y offi$e, a!d 8 #!o" you "a!t e% Jou "ould!t be sitti!g here $ally
dis$ussi!g pu!ishe!t a!d hard liits if you did!t% .lease, &!a, spe!d the !ight "ith e%H 3e
holds his ha!d out to e, his eyes are bright, fer*e!tL e1$ited, a!d 8 put y ha!d i! his% 3e pulls
e up a!d i!to his ars so 8 $a! feel the le!gth of his body agai!st i!e, this s"ift a$tio! ta#i!g e
by surprise% 3e ru!s his fi!gers rou!d the !ape of y !e$#, "i!ds y po!ytail arou!d his "rist, a!d
ge!tly pulls so 8 for$ed to loo# up at hi% 3e gaFes do"! at e%
GJou are o!e bra*e you!g "oa!,H he "hispers% G8 a i! a"e of you%H
3is "ords are li#e soe #i!d of i!$e!diary de*i$eP y blood flaes% 3e lea!s do"! a!d
#isses y lips ge!tly, a!d he su$#s at y lo"er lip%
G8 "a!t to bite this lip,H he ururs agai!st y outh, a!d $arefully he tugs at it "ith his
teeth% 8 oa!, a!d he siles%
G.lease &!a, let e a#e lo*e to you%H
GJes,H 8 "hisper, be$ause thats "hy 8 here% 3is sile is triupha!t as he releases e a!d
ta#es y ha!d a!d leads e through the aparte!t%
3is bedroo is *ast% The $eili!g height "i!do"s loo# out o! a lit up, high9rise Seattle%
The "alls are "hite, a!d the fur!ishi!gs are pale blue% The e!orous bed is ultra9oder!,
ade of rough, grey "ood, li#e drift"ood, four posts, but !o $a!opy% /! the "all abo*e it is a
stu!!i!g pai!ti!g of the sea%
8 a Bua#i!g li#e a leaf% This is it% Fi!ally, after all this tie, 8 goi!g to do it, "ith !o!e
other tha! Christia! >rey% =y breath is shallo", a!d 8 $a!t ta#e y eyes off hi%
3e reo*es his "at$h a!d pla$es it o! top of a $hest of dra"ers that at$hes the bed, a!d
reo*es his @a$#et, pla$i!g it o! a $hair% 3es dressed i! his "hite li!e! shirt a!d @ea!s%
3e is heart9stoppi!gly beautiful% 3is dar# $opper hair is a ess, his shirt ha!gi!g out C his
gray eyes bold a!d daFFli!g% 3e steps out of his Co!*erse shoes a!d rea$hes do"! a!d ta#es his
so$#s off i!di*idually% Christia! >reys feetL "o"L "hat is it about !a#ed feetI Tur!i!g, he
gaFes at e, his e1pressio! soft%
G8 assue youre !ot o! the pill%H
#hat& %hit.
G8 did!t thi!# so%H 3e ope!s the top dra"er of the $hest a!d reo*es a pa$#et of $o!dos%
3e gaFes at e i!te!tly%
G0e prepared,H he ururs% G<o you "a!t the bli!ds dra"!IH
G8 do!t i!d%H 8 "hisper% G8 thought you did!t let a!yo!e sleep i! your bed%H
GWho says "ere goi!g to sleepIH he ururs softly%
G/h%H 7oly hell.
3e strolls slo"ly to"ard e% Co!fide!t, se1y, eyes blaFi!g, a!d y heart begi!s to pou!d% =y
bloods pupi!g arou!d y body% <esire, thi$# a!d hot, pools i! y belly% 3e sta!ds i! fro!t of
e, stari!g do"! i!to y eyes% 7e*s so frea(ing hot.
GLets get this @a$#et off, shall "eIH he says softly, a!d ta#es hold of the lapels a!d ge!tly
slides y @a$#et off y shoulders% 3e pla$es it o! the $hair%
G<o you ha*e a!y idea ho" u$h 8 "a!t you, &!a SteeleIH he "hispers% =y breath hit$hes% 8
$a!!ot ta#e y eyes off his% 3e rea$hes up a!d ge!tly ru!s his fi!gers do"! y $hee# to y $hi!%
G<o you ha*e a!y idea "hat 8 goi!g to do to youIH he adds, $aressi!g y $hi!%
The us$les i!side the deepest, dar#est part of e $le!$h i! the ost deli$ious fashio!%
The pai! is so s"eet a!d sharp 8 "a!t to $lose y eyes, but 8 hyp!otiFed by his gray eyes
stari!g fer*e!tly i!to i!e% Lea!i!g do"!, he #isses e% 3is lips are dea!di!g, fir a!d slo",
oldi!g i!e% 3e starts u!butto!i!g y shirt "hile he pla$es feather9li#e #isses a$ross y @a", y
$hi!, a!d the $or!ers of y outh% Slo"ly he peels it off e a!d lets it fall to the floor% 3e sta!ds
ba$# a!d gaFes at e% 8 i! the pale blue la$y perfe$t9fit bra%
1han( hea6ens.
G/h, &!a,H he breathes% GJou ha*e the ost beautiful s#i!, pale a!d fla"less% 8 "a!t to #iss
e*ery si!gle i!$h of it%H
8 flush% Oh my L Why did he say he $ould!t a#e lo*eI 8 "ill do a!ythi!g he "a!ts%
3e grasps y hair tie, pulls it free, a!d gasps as y hair $as$ades do"! arou!d y shoulders%
G8 li#e bru!ettes,H he ururs, a!d both of his ha!ds are i! y hair, graspi!g ea$h side of y
head% 3is #iss is dea!di!g, his to!gue a!d lips $oa1i!g i!e% 8 oa!, a!d y to!gue te!tati*ely
eets his% 3e puts his ars arou!d e a!d hauls e agai!st his body, sBueeFi!g e tightly% /!e
ha!d reai!s i! y hair, the other tra*els do"! y spi!e to y "aist a!d do"! to y behi!d% 3is
ha!d fle1es o*er y ba$#side a!d sBueeFes ge!tly%
3e holds e agai!st his hips, a!d 8 feel his ere$tio!, "hi$h he la!guidly pushes i!to e%
8 oa! o!$e ore i!to his outh% 8 $a! hardly $o!tai! the riotous feeli!gs or is it horo!es
that rapage through y body% 8 "a!t hi so badly% >rippi!g his upper ars, 8 feel his bi$eps, hes
surprisi!gly stro!gL us$ular% Te!tati*ely, 8 o*e y ha!ds up to his fa$e a!d i!to his hair% 7oly
Moses. 8ts so soft, u!ruly% 8 tug ge!tly, a!d he groa!s%
3e eases e to"ard the bed, u!til 8 feel it behi!d y #!ees% 8 thi!# hes goi!g to push e
do"! o! to it, but he does!t% Deleasi!g e, he sudde!ly drops to his #!ees% 3e grabs y hips "ith
both his ha!ds a!d ru!s his to!gue arou!d y !a*el, the! ge!tly !ips his "ay to y hipbo!e, the!
a$ross y belly to y other hipbo!e%
G&h,H 8 groa!%
Seei!g hi o! his #!ees i! fro!t of e, feeli!g his outh o! e, its so u!e1pe$ted,, a!d hot%
=y ha!ds stay i! his hair, pulli!g ge!tly as 8 try to Buiet y too9loud breathi!g%
3e gaFes up at e through ipossibly lo!g lashes, his eyes a s$or$hi!g so#y gray% 3is
ha!ds rea$h up a!d u!do the butto! o! y @ea!s, a!d he leisurely pulls do"! the Fipper%
Without ta#i!g his eyes off i!e, his ha!ds o*e be!eath the "aistba!d, s#ii!g e a!d
o*i!g to y behi!d% 3is ha!ds glide slo"ly do"! y ba$#side to y thighs, reo*i!g y @ea!s
as they go% 8 $a!!ot loo# a"ay% 3e stops a!d li$#s his lips, !e*er brea#i!g eye $o!ta$t% 3e lea!s
for"ard, ru!!i!g his !ose up the ape1 bet"ee! y thighs% 8 feel hi%
1here.
GJou sell so good,H he ururs a!d $loses his eyes, a loo# of pure pleasure o! his fa$e, a!d
8 pra$ti$ally $o!*ulse% 3e rea$hes up a!d tugs the du*et off the bed, the! pushes e ge!tly so 8 fall
o! to the attress%
Still #!eeli!g, he grasps y foot a!d u!does y Co!*erse, pulli!g off y shoe a!d so$#% 8
raise yself up o! y elbo"s to see "hat hes doi!g% 8 pa!ti!gL "a!ti!g% 3e lifts y foot by
the heel a!d ru!s his thub!ail up y i!step% 8ts alost pai!ful, but 8 feel the o*ee!t e$hoed i!
y groi!% 8 gasp% +ot ta#i!g his eyes off i!e, agai! he ru!s his to!gue alo!g y i!step a!d the!
his teeth% %hit. 8 groa!L ho" $a! 8 feel this, there. 8 fall ba$# o! to the bed, oa!i!g% 8 hear his
soft $hu$#le%
G/h, &!a, "hat 8 $ould do to you,H he "hispers% 3e reo*es y other shoe a!d so$#, the!
sta!ds a!d reo*es y @ea!s% 8 lyi!g o! his bed dressed o!ly i! y bra a!d pa!ties, a!d hes
stari!g do"! at e%
GJoure *ery beautiful, &!astasia Steele% 8 $a!t "ait to be i!side you%H
7oly shit. 3is "ords% 3es so sedu$ti*e% 3e ta#es y breath a"ay%
GSho" e ho" you pleasure yourself%H
#hat. 8 fro"!%
G<o!t be $oy, &!a, sho" e,H he "hispers%
8 sha#e y head%
G8 do!t #!o" "hat you ea!%H =y *oi$e is hoarse% 8 hardly re$og!iFe it, la$ed "ith desire%
G3o" do you a#e yourself $oeI 8 "a!t to see%H
8 sha#e y head%
G8 do!t,H 8 uble% 3e raises his eyebro"s, asto!ished for a oe!t, a!d his eyes dar#e!,
a!d he sha#es his head i! disbelief%
GWell, "ell ha*e to see "hat "e $a! do about that%H 3is *oi$e is soft, $halle!gi!g, a deli$ious
se!sual threat% 3e u!does the butto!s of his @ea!s a!d slo"ly pulls his @ea!s do"!, his eyes o! i!e
the "hole tie% 3e lea!s do"! o*er e a!d, graspi!g ea$h of y a!#les, Bui$#ly @er#s y legs
apart a!d $ra"ls o!to the bed bet"ee! y legs% 3e ho*ers o*er e% 8 a sBuiri!g "ith !eed%
GEeep still,H he ururs, a!d the! he lea!s do"! a!d #isses the i!side of y thigh, traili!g
#isses up, o*er the thi! la$y aterial of y pa!ties, #issi!g e%
/hL 8 $a!t #eep still% 3o" $a! 8 !ot o*eI 8 "riggle be!eath hi%
GWere goi!g to ha*e to "or# o! #eepi!g you still, baby%H 3e trails #isses up y belly, a!d his
to!gue dips i!to y !a*el% Still hes headi!g !orth, #issi!g e a$ross y torso%
=y s#i! is bur!i!g% 8 flushed, too hot, too $old, a!d 8 $la"i!g at the sheet be!eath e%
3e lay do"! beside e, a!d his ha!d trails up fro y hip, to y "aist, a!d up to y breast% 3e
gaFes do"! at e, his e1pressio! u!readable, a!d ge!tly $ups y breast%
GJou fit y ha!d perfe$tly, &!astasia,H he ururs a!d dips his i!de1 fi!ger i!to the $up of
y bra a!d ge!tly ya!#s it do"! freei!g y breast, but the u!der "ire a!d fabri$ of the $up for$e it
up"ard% 3is fi!ger o*es to y other breast a!d repeats the pro$ess% =y breasts s"ell, a!d y
!ipples harde! u!der his steady gaFe% 8 a trussed9up by y o"! bra%GAery !i$e,H he "hispers
appre$iati*ely, a!d y !ipples harde! e*e! ore%
3e blo"s *ery ge!tly o! o!e as his ha!d o*es to y other breast, a!d his thub slo"ly rolls
the e!d of y !ipple, elo!gati!g it% 8 groa!, feeli!g the s"eet se!satio! all the "ay to y groi!% 8
a so "et . Oh please 8 beg i!ter!ally as y fi!gers $lasp the sheet tighter% 3is lips $lose arou!d
y other !ipple a!d he tugs, 8 !early $o!*ulse%
GLets see if "e $a! a#e you $oe li#e this,H he "hispers, $o!ti!ui!g his slo", se!sual
assault% =y !ipples bear the deli$ious bru!t of his deft fi!gers a!d lips, setti!g alight e*ery si!gle
!er*e e!di!g i! y body so that y "hole body si!gs "ith the s"eet ago!y%
3e @ust does!t stop%
G/hL please,H 8 beg, a!d 8 pull y head ba$#, y outh ope! as 8 groa!, y legs stiffe!i!g%
3oly hell, "hats happe!i!g to eI
GLet go, baby,H he ururs% 3is teeth $lose rou!d y !ipple, a!d his thub a!d fi!ger pull
hard, a!d 8 fall apart i! his ha!ds, y body $o!*ulsi!g a!d shatteri!g i!to a thousa!d pie$es% 3e
#isses e, deeply, his to!gue i! y outh absorbi!g y $ries%
Oh my. That "as e1traordi!ary% +o" 8 #!o" "hat all the fuss is about% 3e gaFes do"! at e,
a satisfied sile o! his fa$e, "hile 8 sure theres !othi!g but gratitude a!d a"e o! i!e%
GJou are *ery respo!si*e,H he breathes% GJoure goi!g to ha*e to lear! to $o!trol that, a!d its
goi!g to be so u$h fu! tea$hi!g you ho"%H 3e #isses e agai!%
=y breathi!g is still ragged as 8 $oe do"! fro y orgas% 3is ha!d o*es do"! y
"aist, to y hips, a!d the! $ups e, i!tiately%%% =ee:. 3is fi!ger slips through the fi!e la$e a!d
slo"ly $ir$les arou!d e C there. 0riefly he $loses his eyes, a!d his breathi!g hit$hes%
GJoure so deli$iously "et% >od, 8 "a!t you%H 3e thrusts his fi!ger i!side e, a!d 8 $ry out as
he does it agai! a!d agai!% 3e pals y $litoris, a!d 8 $ry out o!$e ore% 3e pushes i!side e
harder a!d harder still% 8 groa!%
Sudde!ly, he sits up a!d tugs y pa!ties off a!d thro"s the o! the floor% .ulli!g off his
bo1er briefs, his ere$tio! spri!gs free% 7oly cow L 3e rea$hes o*er to his bedside table a!d grabs a
foil pa$#et, a!d the! he o*es bet"ee! y legs, spreadi!g the further apart%
3e #!eels up a!d pulls a $o!do o! to his $o!siderable le!gth% Oh no0#ill it. 7ow.
G<o!t "orry,H he breathes, his eyes o! i!e, GJou e1pa!d too%H 3e lea!s do"!, his ha!ds o!
either side of y head, so hes ho*eri!g o*er e, stari!g do"! i!to y eyes, his @a" $le!$hed, eyes
bur!i!g% 8ts o!ly !o" that 8 register hes still "eari!g his shirt%
GJou really "a!t to do thisIH he as#s softly%
G.lease,H 8 beg%
G.ull your #!ees up,H he orders softly, a!d 8 Bui$# to obey% G8 goi!g to fu$# you !o",
=iss Steele,H he ururs as he positio!s the head of his ere$tio! at the e!tra!$e of y se1% G3ard,H
he "hispers, a!d he slas i!to e%
G&arghKH 8 $ry as 8 feel a "eird pi!$hi!g se!satio! deep i!side e as he rips through y
*irgi!ity% 3e stills, gaFi!g do"! at e, his eyes bright "ith e$stati$ triuph%
3is outh is ope! slightly, a!d his breathi!g is harsh% 3e groa!s%
GJoure so tight% Jou o#ayIH
8 !od, y eyes "ide, y ha!ds o! his forears% 8 feel so full% 3e stays still, letti!g e
a$$liatiFe to the i!trusi*e, o*er"heli!g feeli!g of hi i!side e%
G8 goi!g to o*e, baby,H he breathes after a oe!t, his *oi$e tight%
Oh.
3e eases ba$# "ith e1Buisite slo"!ess% &!d he $loses his eyes a!d groa!s, a!d thrusts i!to e
agai!% 8 $ry out a se$o!d tie, a!d he stills%
G=oreIH he "hispers, his *oi$e ra"%
GJes,H 8 breathe% 3e does it o!$e ore, a!d stills agai!%
8 groa!% =y body a$$epti!g hiL /h, 8 "a!t this%
G&gai!IH he breathes%
GJes%H 8ts a plea%
&!d he o*es, but this tie he does!t stop% 3e shifts o!to his elbo"s so 8 $a! feel his "eight
o! e, holdi!g e do"!% 3e o*es slo"ly at first, easi!g hiself i! a!d out of e% &!d as 8 gro"
a$$ustoed to the alie! feeli!g, y hips o*e te!tati*ely to eet his%
3e speeds up% 8 oa!, a!d he pou!ds o!, pi$#i!g up speed, er$iless, a rele!tless rhyth, a!d
8 #eep up, eeti!g his thrusts% 3e grasps y head bet"ee! his ha!ds a!d #isses e hard, his teeth
pulli!g at y lo"er lip agai!% 3e shifts slightly, a!d 8 $a! feel soethi!g buildi!g deep i!side e,
li#e before% 8 start to stiffe! as he thrusts o! a!d o!% =y body Bui*ers, bo"s, a shee! of s"eat
gathers o*er e . Oh my L 8 did!t #!o" it "ould feel li#e thisL did!t #!o" it $ould feel as good
as this% =y thoughts are s$atteri!g%%% theres o!ly se!satio!%%% o!ly hi%%% o!ly eL oh pleaseL 8
stiffe!%
GCoe for e, &!a,H he "hispers breathlessly, a!d 8 u!ra*el at his "ords, e1plodi!g arou!d
hi as 8 $lia1 a!d spli!ter i!to a illio! pie$es u!der!eath hi% &!d as he $oes, he $alls out y
!ae, thrusti!g hard, the! stilli!g as he epties hiself i!to e%
8 a still pa!ti!g, tryi!g to slo" y breathi!g, y thupi!g heart, a!d y thoughts are i!
riotous disarray% #ow0 that was astounding. 8 ope! y eyes, a!d he has his forehead pressed
agai!st i!e, his eyes $losed, his breathi!g ragged% Christia!s eyes fli$#er ope! a!d gaFe do"! at
e, dar# but soft% 3es still i!side e% Lea!i!g do"!, he ge!tly presses a #iss agai!st y forehead
the! slo"ly pulls out of e%
G/oh%H 8 "i!$e at the u!failiarity%
G<id 8 hurt youIH Christia! as#s as he lies do"! beside e propped o! o!e elbo"% 3e tu$#s a
stray stra!d of y hair behi!d y ear% &!d 8 ha*e to gri!, "idely%
G)ou are as#i!g e if you hurt eIH
GThe iro!y is !ot lost o! e,H he siles sardo!i$ally% GSeriously, are you o#ayIH 3is eyes are
i!te!se, probi!g, dea!di!g e*e!%
8 stret$h out beside hi, feeli!g loose9libed, y bo!es li#e @elly, but 8 rela1ed, deeply
rela1ed% 8 gri! at hi% 8 $a!t stop gri!!i!g% +o" 8 #!o" "hat all the fuss is about%
T"o orgassL $oi!g apart at the seas, li#e the spi! $y$le o! a "ashi!g a$hi!e, "o"%
8 had !o idea "hat y body "as $apable of, $ould be "ou!d so tightly a!d released so
*iole!tly, so gratifyi!gly% The pleasure "as i!des$ribable%
GJoure biti!g your lip, a!d you ha*e!t a!s"ered e%H 3es fro"!i!g% 8 gri! up at hi
ipishly% 3e loo#s glorious "ith his tousled hair, bur!i!g !arro"ed gray eyes, a!d serious, dar#
e1pressio!%
G8d li#e to do that agai!,H 8 "hisper% For a oe!t, 8 thi!# 8 see a fleeti!g loo# of relief o!
his fa$e, before the shutters $oe do"!, a!d he gaFes at e through hooded eyes%
GWould you !o", =iss SteeleIH he ururs dryly% 3e lea!s do"! a!d #isses e *ery ge!tly
at the $or!er of y outh% G<ea!di!g little thi!g are!t you% Tur! o! your fro!t%H
8 bli!# at hi oe!tarily, a!d the! 8 tur! o*er% 3e u!hoo#s y bra a!d ru!s his ha!d do"!
y ba$# to y behi!d%
GJou really ha*e the ost beautiful s#i!,H he ururs% 3e shifts so that o!e of his legs
pushes bet"ee! i!e, a!d hes half lyi!g a$ross y ba$#% 8 $a! feel the butto!s of his shirt pressi!g
i!to e as he gathers y hair off y fa$e a!d #isses y bare shoulder%
GWhy are you "eari!g your shirtIH 8 as#% 3e stills% &fter a beat, he shuffles out of his shirt,
a!d he lies ba$# do"! o! e% 8 feel his "ar s#i! agai!st i!e% 7mm L it feels hea*e!ly% 3e has a
light dusti!g of hair a$ross his $hest, "hi$h ti$#les y ba$#%
GSo you "a!t e to fu$# you agai!IH he "hispers i! y ear, a!d he begi!s to trail feather
light #isses arou!d y ear a!d do"! y !e$#%
3is ha!d o*es do"!, s#ii!g y "aist, o*er y hip, a!d do"! y thigh to the ba$# of
y #!ee% 3e pushes y #!ee up higher, a!d y breath hit$hesL oh my what*s he doing now. 3e
shifts so hes bet"ee! y legs, pressed agai!st y ba$#, a!d his ha!d tra*els up y thigh to y
behi!d% 3e $aresses y $hee# slo"ly, a!d the! trails his fi!gers do"! bet"ee! y legs%
G8 goi!g to ta#e you fro behi!d, &!astasia,H he ururs, a!d "ith his other ha!d, he
grasps y hair at the !ape i! a fist a!d pulls ge!tly, holdi!g e i! pla$e% 8 $a!!ot o*e y head% 8
a pi!io!ed be!eath hi, helpless%
GJou are i!e,H he "hispers% G/!ly i!e% <o!t forget it%H 3is *oi$e is i!to1i$ati!g, his
"ords heady, sedu$ti*e% 8 feel his gro"i!g ere$tio! agai!st y thigh%
3is lo!g fi!gers rea$h rou!d to ge!tly assage y $litoris, $ir$li!g slo"ly% 3is breath is soft
agai!st y fa$e as he slo"ly !ips e alo!g y @a"%
GJou sell di*i!e,H he !uFFles behi!d y ear% 3is ha!d rubs agai!st e, rou!d a!d rou!d%
Defle1i*ely, y hips start to $ir$le, irrori!g his ha!d, as e1$ru$iati!g pleasure spi#es through y
blood li#e adre!ali!e%
GEeep still,H he orders, his *oi$e soft but urge!t, a!d slo"ly he i!serts his thub i!side e,
rotati!g it rou!d a!d rou!d, stro#i!g the fro!t "all of y *agi!a% The effe$t is i!d9blo"i!g C all
y e!ergy $o!$e!trati!g o! this o!e sall spa$e i!side y body% 8 oa!%
GJou li#e thisIH he as#s softly, his teeth graFi!g y outer ear, a!d he starts to fle1 his thub
slo"ly, i!, out, i!, outL his fi!gers still $ir$li!g%
8 $lose y eyes, tryi!g to #eep y breathi!g u!der $o!trol, tryi!g to absorb the disordered,
$haoti$ se!satio!s that his fi!gers are u!leashi!g o! e, fire $oursi!g through y body% 8 oa!
agai!%
GJoure so "et, so Bui$#ly% So respo!si*e% /h, &!astasia, 8 li#e that% 8 li#e that a lot,H
he "hispers%
8 "a!t to stiffe! y legs, but 8 $a!t o*e% 3es pi!!i!g e do"!, #eepi!g up a $o!sta!t,
slo", tortuous rhyth% 8ts absolutely e1Buisite% 8 oa! agai!, a!d he o*es sudde!ly%
G/pe! your outh,H he $oa!ds a!d thrusts his thub i! y outh% =y eyes fly ope!,
bli!#i!g "ildly%
GSee ho" you taste,H he breathes agai!st y ear% GSu$# e, baby%H 3is thub presses o! y
to!gue, a!d y outh $loses rou!d hi, su$#i!g "ildly% 8 taste the salti!ess o! his thub a!d the
fai!t etalli$ ta!g of blood . 7oly fuc(. This is "ro!g, but holy hell is it eroti$%
G8 "a!t to fu$# your outh, &!astasia, a!d 8 "ill soo!,H his *oi$e is hoarse, ra", his breathi!g
ore dis@oi!ted%
'uc( my mouth& 8 oa!, a!d 8 bite do"! o! hi% 3e gasps, a!d he pulls y hair tighter,
pai!fully, so 8 release hi%
G+aughty, s"eet girl,H he "hispers, a!d the! rea$hes o*er to the bedside table for a foil
pa$#et% GStay still, do!t o*e,H he orders as he releases y hair%
3e rips the foil "hile 8 breathi!g hard, y blood si!gi!g i! y *ei!s% The a!ti$ipatio! is
e1hilarati!g% 3e lea!s do"!, his "eight o! e agai!, a!d he grabs y hair holdi!g y head
iobile% 8 $a!!ot o*e% 8 e!ti$i!gly e!s!ared by hi, a!d hes poised a!d ready to ta#e e
o!$e ore%
GWere goi!g to go real, slo" this tie, &!astasia,H he breathes%
&!d slo"ly he eases i!to e, slo"ly, slo"ly, u!til hes buried i! e% Stret$hi!g, filli!g,
rele!tless% 8 groa! loudly% 8t feels deeper this tie, dele$table% 8 groa! agai!, a!d he deliberately
$ir$les his hips a!d pulls ba$#, pauses a beat, a!d the! eases his "ay ba$# i!%
3e repeats this otio! agai! a!d agai!% 8ts dri*i!g e i!sa!e C his teasi!g, deliberately slo"
thrusts, a!d the i!teritte!t feeli!g of full!ess is o*er"heli!g%
GJou feel so good,H he groa!s, a!d y i!sides start to Bui*er% 3e pulls ba$# a!d "aits%
G/h !o, baby, !ot yet,H he ururs, a!d as the Bui*eri!g $eases, he starts the "hole deli$ious
pro$ess agai!%
G/h, please,H 8 beg% 8 !ot sure 8 $a! ta#e u$h ore% =y body is "ou!d so tight, $ra*i!g
release%
G8 "a!t you sore, baby,H he ururs, a!d he $o!ti!ues his s"eet, leisurely tore!t,
ba$#"ard, for"ard%
GE*ery tie you o*e toorro", 8 "a!t you to be rei!ded that 8*e bee! here% /!ly e%
Jou are i!e%H
8 groa!%
G.lease, Christia!,H 8 "hisper%
GWhat do you "a!t, &!astasiaI Tell e%H
8 groa! agai!% 3e pulls out a!d o*es slo"ly ba$# i!to e, $ir$li!g his hips o!$e ore%
GTell e,H he ururs%
GJou, please%H
3e i!$reases the rhyth i!fi!itesially, a!d his breathi!g be$oes ore errati$% =y i!sides
start Bui$#e!i!g, a!d Christia! pi$#s up the rhyth%
GJou% &re% So% S"eet,H he ururs bet"ee! ea$h thrust% G8% Wa!t% Jou% So% =u$h%H
8 oa!%
GJou% &re% =i!e% Coe for e, baby,H he gro"ls%
3is "ords are y u!doi!g, tippi!g e o*er the pre$ipi$e% =y body $o!*ulses arou!d hi,
a!d 8 $oe, loudly $alli!g out a garbled *ersio! of his !ae i!to the attress, a!d Christia! follo"s
"ith t"o sharp thrusts, a!d he freeFes, pouri!g hiself i!to e as he fi!ds his release% 3e $ollapses
o! top of e, his fa$e i! y hair%
GFu$#% &!a,H he breathes% 3e pulls out of e iediately a!d rolls o!to his side of the bed% 8
pull y #!ees up to y $hest, utterly spe!t, a!d iediately drift off or pass out i!to a! e1hausted
sleep%
Whe! 8 "a#e, its still dar#% 8 ha*e !o idea ho" lo!g 8*e slept% 8 stret$h out be!eath the du*et,
a!d 8 feel sore, deli$iously sore% Christia! is !o"here to be see!% 8 sit up, stari!g out at the $itys$ape
i! fro!t of e% There are fe"er lights o! ao!gst the s#ys$rapers, a!d theres a "hisper of da"! i!
the east% 8 hear the usi$% The lilti!g !otes of the pia!o, a sad, s"eet lae!t% 0a$h, 8 thi!#, but 8
!ot sure%
8 "rap the du*et rou!d e a!d Buietly pad do"! the $orridor to"ard the big roo%
Christia! is at the pia!o, $opletely lost i! the usi$ hes playi!g% 3is e1pressio! is sad a!d
forlor!, li#e the usi$% 3is playi!g is stu!!i!g% Lea!i!g agai!st the "all at the e!tra!$e, 8 liste!
e!raptured% 3es su$h a! a$$oplished usi$ia!% 3e sits !a#ed, his body bathed i! the "ar light
$ast by a solitary freesta!di!g lap beside the pia!o% With the rest of the large roo i! dar#!ess,
its li#e hes i! his o"! isolated little pool of light, u!tou$h9ableL lo!ely, i! a bubble%
8 pad Buietly to"ard hi, e!ti$ed by the sublie, ela!$holy usi$% 8 eseriFed
"at$hi!g his lo!g s#illed fi!gers as they fi!d a!d ge!tly press the #eys, thi!#i!g ho" those sae
fi!gers ha*e e1pertly ha!dled a!d $aressed y body% 8 flush a!d gasp at the eory a!d press y
thighs together% 3e gla!$es up, his u!fathoable gray eyes bright, his e1pressio! u!readable%
GSorry,H 8 "hisper% G8 did!t ea! to disturb you%H
& fro"! flits a$ross his fa$e%
GSurely, 8 should be sayi!g that to you,H he ururs% 3e fi!ishes playi!g a!d puts his ha!ds
o! his legs%
8 !oti$e !o" that hes "eari!g .J pa!ts% 3e ru!s his fi!gers through his hair a!d sta!ds%
3is pa!ts ha!g fro his hips, i! that "ayL oh my. =y outh goes dry as he $asually strolls
arou!d the pia!o to"ard e% 3e has broad shoulders, !arro" hips, a!d his abdoi9!al us$les
ripple as he "al#s% 3e really is stu!!i!g%
GJou should be i! bed,H he ado!ishes%
GThat "as a beautiful pie$e% 0a$hIH
GTra!s$riptio! by 0a$h, but its origi!ally a! oboe $o!$erto by &lessa!dro =ar$ello%H
G8t "as e1Buisite, but *ery sad, su$h a ela!$holy elody%H
3is lips Buir# up i! a half sile%
G0ed,H he orders% GJoull be e1hausted i! the or!i!g%H
G8 "o#e a!d you "ere!t there%H
G8 fi!d it diffi$ult to sleep, a!d 8 !ot used to sleepi!g "ith a!yo!e,H he ururs% 8 $a!t
fatho his ood% 3e sees a little despo!de!t, but its diffi$ult to tell i! the dar#!ess% .erhaps it
"as the to!e of the pie$e he "as playi!g% 3e puts his ar arou!d e a!d ge!tly "al#s e ba$# to
the bedroo%
G3o" lo!g ha*e you bee! playi!gI Jou play beautifully%H
GSi!$e 8 "as si1%H
G/h%H Christia! as a si19year9old boyL y i!d $o!@ures a! iage of a beautiful, $opper9
haired little boy "ith gray eyes a!d y heart elts C a oppet9haired #id "ho li#es ipossibly sad
usi$%
G3o" are you feeli!gIH he as#s "he! "e are ba$# i! the roo% 3e s"it$hes o! a sidelight%
G8 good%H
We both gla!$e do"! at the bed at the sae tie% Theres blood o! the sheets C e*ide!$e of
y lost *irgi!ity% 8 flush, ebarrassed, pulli!g the du*et tighter arou!d e%
GWell, thats goi!g to gi*e =rs% Jo!es soethi!g to thi!# about,H Christia! utters as he
sta!ds i! fro!t of e% 3e puts his ha!d u!der y $hi! a!d tips y head ba$#, stari!g do"! at e%
3is eyes are i!te!se as he e1ai!es y fa$e% 8 realiFe that 8*e !ot see! his !a#ed $hest before%
8!sti!$ti*ely, 8 rea$h out to ru! y fi!gers through the satteri!g of dar# hair o! his $hest to see
ho" it feels% 8ediately, he steps ba$# out of y rea$h%
G>et i!to bed,H he says sharply% G8ll $oe a!d lie do"! "ith you%H 3is *oi$e softe!s%
8 drop y ha!d a!d fro"!% 8 do!t thi!# 8*e e*er tou$hed his torso% 3e ope!s a $hest of
dra"ers a!d pulls out a t9shirt a!d Bui$#ly slips it o!%
G0ed,H he orders agai!% 8 $lib ba$# o!to the bed, tryi!g !ot to thi!# about the blood%
3e $labers i! beside e a!d pulls e i!to his ebra$e, "rappi!g his ars arou!d e so
that 8 fa$i!g a"ay fro hi% 3e #isses y hair ge!tly, a!d he i!hales deeply%
GSleep, s"eet &!astasia,H he ururs, a!d 8 $lose y eyes, but 8 $a!t help feel a re9sidual
ela!$holy either fro the usi$ or his deea!or% Christia! >rey has a sad side%
Light fills the roo, $oa1i!g e fro deep sleep to "a#eful!ess% 8 stret$h out a!d ope! y
eyes% 8ts a beautiful =ay or!i!g, Seattle at y feet% Wo", "hat a *ie"% 0eside e, Christia! >rey
is fast asleep% Wo", "hat a *ie"% 8 surprised hes still i! bed% 3es fa$i!g e, a!d 8 ha*e a!
u!pre$ede!ted opportu!ity to study hi% 3is lo*ely fa$e loo#s you!ger, rela1ed i! sleep% 3is
s$ulptured, pouty lips are parted slightly, a!d his shi!y, $lea! hair is a glorious ess% 3o" $ould
a!yo!e loo# this good a!d still be legalI 8 reeber his roo upstairsL perhaps hes !ot legal% 8
sha#e y head, so u$h to thi!# about% 8ts tepti!g to rea$h out a!d tou$h hi, but li#e a sall
$hild, hes so lo*ely "he! hes asleep% 8 do!t ha*e to "orry about "hat 8 sayi!g, "hat hes
sayi!g, "hat pla!s he has, espe$ially his pla!s for e%
8 $ould gaFe at hi all day, but 8 ha*e !eeds C bathroo !eeds% Slippi!g out of bed, 8 fi!d his
"hite shirt o! the floor a!d shrug it o!% 8 "al# through a door thi!#i!g that it ight be the
bathroo, but 8 i! a *ast "al#9i! $loset as big as y bedroo% Li!es a!d li!es of e1pe!si*e suits,
shirts, shoes, a!d ties% 3o" $a! a!yo!e !eed this a!y $lothesI 8 tut "ith disappro*al% &$tually,
Eates "ardrobe probably ri*als this% EateK Oh no. 8 did!t thi!# about her all e*e!i!g% 8 "as
supposed to te1t her% Crap% 8 goi!g to be i! trouble% 8 "o!der briefly ho" shes getti!g o! "ith
Elliot%
Detur!i!g to the bedroo, Christia! is still asleep% 8 try the other door% 8ts the bathroo, a!d
its bigger tha! y bedroo% Why does o!e a! !eed so u$h spa$eI T"o si!#s, 8 !oti$e "ith
iro!y% >i*e! he does!t sleep "ith a!yo!e, o!e of the $a!t ha*e bee! used%
8 stare at yself i! the giga!ti$ irror abo*e the si!#s% <o 8 loo# differe!tI 8 feel differe!t% 8
feel a little sore, if 8 ho!est, a!d y us$les 9 @eeF its li#e 8*e !e*er do!e a!y e1er$ise i! y
life% )ou don*t do any e<ercise in your life y sub$o!s$ious has "o#e!%
Shes stari!g at e "ith pursed lips, tappi!g her foot% So you*e @ust slept "ith hi, gi*e!
hi your *irgi!ity, a a! "ho does!t lo*e you% 8! fa$t, he has *ery odd ideas about you, "a!ts to
a#e you soe sort of #i!#y se1 sla*e%
AR8 )O5 CRAC). Shes shouti!g at e%
8 "i!$e as 8 loo# i! the irror% 8 a goi!g to ha*e to pro$ess all this% 3o!estly, fa!$y falli!g
for a a! "hos beyo!d beautiful, ri$her tha! Croesus, a!d has a Ded Doo of .ai! "aiti!g for e%
8 shudder% 8 be"ildered a!d $o!fused% =y hair is its usual "ay"ard self% Just9fu$#ed hair
does!t suit e% 8 try a!d bri!g order to the $haos "ith y fi!gers but fail iserably a!d gi*e up C
aybe 8ll fi!d hair ties i! y purse%
8 star*i!g% 8 head ba$# out to the bedroo% Sleepi!g beauty is still sleepi!g, so 8 lea*e hi
a!d head for the #it$he!%
Oh no0 !ate. 8 left y purse i! Christia!s study% 8 fet$h it a!d rea$h for y $ell pho!e%
Three te1ts%
*RU OK Ana*
*!ere RU Ana*
*"amn it Ana*
8 $all Eate% Whe! she does!t a!s"er, 8 lea*e her a gro*eli!g essage to tell her 8 a ali*e
a!d ha*e !ot su$$ubed to 0luebeard, "ell !ot i! the se!se she "ould be "orried about C or
perhaps I ha6e. /h this is so $o!fusi!g% 8 ha*e to try a!d $ategoriFe a!d a!alyFe y feeli!gs for
Christia! >rey% 8ts a! ipossible tas#% 8 sha#e y head i! defeat% 8 !eed alo!e tie, a"ay fro
here to thi!#%
8 fi!d t"o "el$oe hair ties at the sae tie i! y bag a!d Bui$#ly tie y hair i! pigtails%
JesK The ore girly 8 loo#, perhaps the safer 8ll be fro 0luebeard% 8 ta#e y i.od out of the bag
a!d plug y headpho!es i!% Theres !othi!g li#e usi$ to $oo# by% 8 slip it i!to the breast po$#et of
Christia!s shirt, tur! it up loud, a!d start da!$i!g%
3oly hell, 8 hu!gry%
8 a dau!ted by his #it$he!% 8ts so slee# a!d oder! a!d !o!e of the $upboards ha*e ha!dles%
8t ta#es e a fe" se$o!ds to dedu$e that 8 ha*e to push the $upboard doors to ope! the% .erhaps 8
should $oo# Christia! brea#fast% 3e "as eati!g a! oelet the other dayL u, yesterday at the
3eatha!% JeeF, so u$h has happe!ed si!$e the!% 8 $he$# i! the fridge, "here there are ple!ty of
eggs, a!d de$ide 8 "a!t pa!$a#es a!d ba$o!% 8 set about a#i!g soe batter, da!$i!g y "ay rou!d
the #it$he!%
0ei!g busy is good% 8t allo"s a bit of tie to thi!# but !ot too deeply% =usi$ blari!g i! y
ears also helps to sta*e off deep thought% 8 $ae here to spe!d the !ight i! Christia! >reys bed, a!d
a!aged it, e*e! though he does!t let a!yo!e i! his bed% 8 sile, issio! a$$oplished% 0ig tie% 8
gri!% 0ig, big tie, a!d 8 distra$ted by the eory of last !ight% 3is "ords, his body, his
lo*ea#i!gL 8 $lose y eyes as y body hus at the re$olle$tio!, a!d y us$les $o!tra$t
deli$iously deep i! y belly% =y sub$o!s$ious s$o"ls at eL fuc(ing C not lo6ema(ing C she
s$reas at e li#e a harpy . 8 ig!ore her, but deep do"! 8 #!o" she has a poi!t% 8 sha#e y head
to $o!$e!trate o! the tas# at ha!d%
There is a state9of9the9art ra!ge% 8 thi!# 8 ha*e the ha!g of it% 8 !eed soe"here to #eep the
pa!$a#es "ar, a!d 8 start o! the ba$o!% &y Studt is si!gi!g i! y ear about isfits% This so!g
used to ea! so u$h to e, thats be$ause 8 a isfit% 8 ha*e !e*er fitted i! a!y"here a!d !o"L
8 ha*e a! i!de$e!t proposal to $o!sider fro Ei!g =isfit hiself% Why is he this "ayI +ature or
+urtureI 8ts so alie! to a!ythi!g 8 #!o"%
8 put the ba$o! u!der the grill, a!d "hile its $oo#i!g, 8 "his# soe eggs% 8 tur!, a!d Christia!
is sitti!g o! o!e of the bar stools at the brea#fast bar, lea!i!g o! it, his fa$e supported by his
steepled ha!ds% 3es still "eari!g the t9shirt hes slept i!% Just9fu$#ed hair really, really suits hi, as
does his desig!er stubble% 3e loo#s both aused a!d be"ildered%
8 freeFe, flush, the! gather yself a!d pull the headpho!es out of y ears, y #!ees "ea# at
the sight of hi%
G>ood or!i!g, =iss Steele% Joure *ery e!ergeti$ this or!i!g,H he says dryly%
G8 slept "ell,H 8 stutter y e1pla!atio!% 3is lips try to as# his sile%
G8 $a!t iagi!e "hy%H 3e pauses a!d fro"!s% GSo did 8, after 8 $ae ba$# to bed%H
G&re you hu!gryIH
GAery,H he says "ith a! i!te!se loo#, a!d 8 do!t thi!# hes referri!g to food%
G.a!$a#es, ba$o!, a!d eggsIH
GSou!ds great%H
G8 do!t #!o" "here you #eep your pla$eats%H 8 shrug, tryi!g desperately hard !ot to loo#
flustered%
G8ll do that% Jou $oo#% Would you li#e e to put soe usi$ o! so you $a! $o!ti!ue yourL
errL da!$i!gIH
8 stare do"! at y fi!gers, #!o"i!g that 8 a tur!i!g pu$e%
G.lease, do!t stop o! y a$$ou!t% 8ts *ery e!tertai!i!g%H 3is to!e is o!e of "ry ausee!t%
8 purse y lips% E!tertai!i!g ehI =y sub$o!s$ious has doubled o*er i! laughter at e%
8 tur! a!d $o!ti!ue to "his# the eggs, probably beati!g the a little harder tha! they !eed%
8! a oe!t, hes beside e% 3e ge!tly pulls y pigtail%
G8 lo*e these,H he "hispers% GThey "o!t prote$t you%H 7mm 9lue,eard0
G3o" "ould you li#e your eggsIH 8 as# tartly% 3e siles%
GThoroughly "his#ed a!d beate!,H he sir#s%
8 tur! ba$# to the tas# at ha!d, tryi!g to hide y sile% 3es hard to stay ad at% Espe$ially
"he! hes bei!g so u!$hara$teristi$ally playful% 3e ope!s a dra"er a!d ta#es out t"o bla$# slate
pla$eats for the brea#fast bar% 8 pour the egg i1 i!to a pa!, pull out the ba$o! a!d tur! it o*er,
a!d put it ba$# u!der the grill%
Whe! 8 tur! ba$# rou!d, there is ora!ge @ui$e o! the table, a!d hes a#i!g $offee%
GWould you li#e soe teaIH
GJes, please% 8f you ha*e soe%H
8 fi!d a $ouple of plates a!d pla$e the i! the "ari!g tray of the ra!ge% Christia! rea$hes
i!to a $upboard a!d pulls out soe T"i!i!gs E!glish 0rea#fast tea% 8 purse y lips%
G0it of a forego!e $o!$lusio! "as!t 8IH
G&re youI 8 !ot sure "e*e $o!$luded a!ythi!g yet, =iss Steele,H he ururs%
#hat does he mean ,y that. Our negotiations. Our err0 relationship0 whate6er that is.
3es still so $rypti$% 8 ser*e up the brea#fast o!to the heated plates a!d lay the o! the pla$eats% 8
hu!t i! the refrigerator a!d fi!d soe aple syrup%
8 gla!$e up at Christia!, a!d hes "aiti!g for e to sit do"!%
G=iss Steele%H 3e otio!s to o!e of the bar stools%
G=r% >rey%H 8 !od i! a$#!o"ledgee!t% 8 $lib up a!d "i!$e slightly as 8 sit do"!%
GJust ho" sore are youIH he as#s as he sits do"!% 3is gray eyes dar#%
8 flush% #hy does he as( such personal 3uestions.
GWell, to be truthful, 8 ha*e !othi!g to $opare this to,H 8 s!ap at hi% G<id you "ish to offer
your $oiseratio!sIH 8 as# too s"eetly% 8 thi!# hes tryi!g to stifle a sile, but 8 $a!t be sure%
G+o% 8 "o!dered if "e should $o!ti!ue your basi$ trai!i!g%H
G/h%H 8 stare at hi dubfou!ded as 8 stop breathi!g a!d e*erythi!g i!side e $le!$hes tight%
Ooh0 that*s so nice. 8 suppress y groa!%
GEat, &!astasia%H =y appetite has be$oe u!$ertai! agai!L oreL ore se1L yes please%
GThis is deli$ious, i!$ide!tally%H 3e gri!s at e%
8 try a for#ful of oelet but $a! barely taste it% 0asi$ trai!i!gK I want to fuc( your mouth.
<oes that for part of basi$ trai!i!gI
GStop biti!g your lip% 8ts *ery distra$ti!g, a!d 8 happe! to #!o" youre !ot "eari!g a!ythi!g
u!der y shirt "hi$h a#es it e*e! ore distra$ti!g,H he gro"ls%
8 du!# y teabag i! the sall pot that Christia! has pro*ided% =y i!d is i! a "hirl%
GWhat sort of basi$ trai!i!g did you ha*e i! i!dIH 8 as#, y *oi$e slightly too high,
betrayi!g y "ish to sou!d as !atural, disi!terested, a!d $al as 8 $a! "ith y horo!es "rea#i!g
ha*o$ through y body%
GWell, as youre sore, 8 thought "e $ould sti$# to oral s#ills%H
8 $ho#e o! y tea, a!d 8 stare at hi, eyes "ide a!d gapi!g% 3e pats e ge!tly o! the ba$#
a!d passes e soe ora!ge @ui$e% 8 $a!!ot tell "hat hes thi!#i!g%
GThats if you "a!t to stay,H he adds% 8 gla!$e up at hi, tryi!g to re$o*er y eBuilibriu% 3is
e1pressio! is u!readable% 8ts so frustrati!g%
G8d li#e to stay for today% 8f thats o#ay% 8 ha*e to "or# toorro"%H
GWhat tie do you ha*e to be at "or# toorro"IH
G+i!e%H
G8ll get you to "or# by !i!e toorro"%H
8 fro"!% 4oes he want me to stay another night.
G8ll !eed to go hoe to!ight C 8 !eed $lea! $lothes%H
GWe $a! get you soe here%H
8 do!t ha*e spare $ash to spe!d o! $lothes% 3is ha!d $oes up, a!d he grasps y $hi!,
tuggi!g it so y lip is released fro the grip of y teeth% 8 !ot e*e! a"are 8*e bee! biti!g y
lip%
GWhat is itIH he as#s%
G8 !eed to be hoe this e*e!i!g%H
3is outh is a hard li!e%
G/#ay, this e*e!i!g,H he a$Buies$es% G+o" eat your brea#fast%H
=y thoughts a!d y stoa$h are i! turoil% =y appetite has *a!ished% 8 stare at y half9
eate! brea#fast% 8 @ust !ot hu!gry%
GEat, &!astasia% Jou did!t eat last !ight%H
G8 really !ot hu!gry,H 8 "hisper%
3is eyes !arro"%
G8 "ould really li#e you to fi!ish your brea#fast%H
GWhat is it "ith you a!d foodIH 8 blurt% 3is bro" #!its%
G8 told you, 8 ha*e issues "ith "asted food% Eat,H he s!aps% 3is eyes are dar#, pai!ed%
7oly Crap. #hat is that all a,out. 8 pi$# up y for# a!d eat slo"ly, tryi!g to $he"%
8 ust reeber !ot to put so u$h o! y plate if hes goi!g to be "eird about food% 3is
e1pressio! softe!s as 8 $arefully a#e y "ay through y brea#fast% 8 !ote that he $lea!s his plate%
3e "aits for e to fi!ish, a!d the! he $lears y plate%
GJou $oo#ed, 8ll $lear%H
GThats *ery deo$rati$%H
GJes%H 3e fro"!s% G+ot y usual style% &fter 8*e do!e this, "ell ta#e a bath%H
G/h, o#ay%H Oh my0 I*d much rather ha6e a shower. =y $ell ri!gs, i!terrupti!g y re*erie%
8ts Eate%
G3i%H 8 "a!der o*er to the glass doors of the bal$o!y, a"ay fro hi%
G&!a, "hy did!t you te1t last !ightIH Shes a!gry%
G8 sorry, 8 "as o*erta#e! by e*e!ts%H
GJoure o#ayIH
GJes, 8 fi!e%H
G<id youIH Shes fishi!g for i!foratio!% 8 roll y eyes at the e1pe$tatio! i! her *oi$e%
GEate, 8 do!t "a!t to tal# o*er the pho!e%H Christia! gla!$es up at e%
GJou didL 8 $a! tell%H
3o" $a! she tellI Shes bluffi!g, a!d 8 $a!t tal# about this% 8*e sig!ed a da!ed agreee!t%
GEate, please%H
GWhat "as it li#eI &re you o#ayIH
G8*e told you 8 o#ay%H
GWas he ge!tleIH
GEate, pleaseKH 8 $a!t hide y e1asperatio!%
G&!a, do!t hold out o! e, 8*e bee! "aiti!g for this day for !early four years%H
G8ll see you this e*e!i!g%H 8 ha!g up%
That is goi!g to be o!e diffi$ult sBuare to $ir$le% Shes so te!a$ious, a!d she "a!ts to #!o" C
i! detail, a!d 8 $a!t tell her be$ause 8*e sig!ed a C "hat "as it $alledI +<&%
Shell frea# a!d rightly so% 8 !eed a pla!% 8 head ba$# to "at$h Christia! o*e gra$efully
arou!d his #it$he!%
GThe +<&, does it $o*er e*erythi!gIH 8 as# te!tati*ely%
GWhyIH he tur!s a!d gaFes at e "hile putti!g the T"i!i!gs a"ay% 8 flush%
GWell, 8 ha*e a fe" Buestio!s, you #!o", about se1%H 8 stare do"! at y fi!gers% G&!d 8d li#e
to as# Eate%H
GJou $a! as# e%H
GChristia!, "ith all due respe$t%H =y *oi$e fades% I can*t as( you. 8ll get your biased, #i!#y9
as9hell, distorted "orld9*ie" regardi!g se1% 8 "a!t a! ipartial opi!io!% G8ts @ust about e$ha!i$s%
8 "o!t e!tio! the Ded Doo of .ai!%H
3e raises his eyebro"s%
GDed Doo of .ai!I 8ts ostly about pleasure, &!astasia% 0elie*e e,H he says%
G0esides,H his to!e is harsher% GJour roo9ate is a#i!g the beast "ith t"o ba$#s "ith y
brother% 8d really rather you did!t%H
G<oes your faily #!o" about yourL u predile$tio!IH
G+o% 8ts !o!e of their busi!ess%H 3e sau!ters to"ard e u!til hes sta!di!g i! fro!t of e%
GWhat do you "a!t to #!o"IH he as#s, a!d raisi!g his ha!d ru!s his fi!gers ge!tly do"! y
$hee# to y $hi!, tilti!g y head ba$# so he $a! loo# dire$tly i!to y eyes% 8 sBuir i!"ardly% 8
$a!!ot lie to this a!%
G+othi!g spe$ifi$ at the oe!t,H 8 "hisper%
GWell, "e $a! start "ith C ho" "as last !ight for youIH 3is eyes bur!, filled "ith $uriosity%
7e*s an<ious to (now. #ow.
G>ood,H 8 urur%
3is lips lift slightly%
G=e too,H he ururs% G8*e !e*er had *a!illa se1 before% Theres a lot to be said for it% 0ut
the!, aybe its be$ause its "ith you%H 3e ru!s his thub a$ross y lo"er lip%
8 i!hale sharply% Danilla se<.
GCoe, lets ha*e a bath%H 3e lea!s do"! a!d #isses e% =y heart leaps a!d desire pools "ay
do"! lo"L "ay do"! there.
The bath is a "hite sto!e, deep, egg9shaped affair, *ery desig!er% Christia! lea!s o*er a!d fills
it fro the fau$et o! the tiled "all% 3e pours soe e1pe!si*e loo#i!g bath oil i!to the "ater% 8t
foas as the bath fills a!d sells of s"eet sultry Jasi!e% 3e sta!ds a!d gaFes at e, his eyes dar#,
the! peels his t9shirt off a!d $asts it o! the floor%
G=iss Steele%H 3e holds his ha!d out%
8 sta!di!g i! the door"ay, "ide9eyed a!d "ary, y ars "rapped arou!d yself% 8 step
for"ard "hile surreptitiously adiri!g his physiBue% 3e is @ust yuy% =y sub$o!s$ious s"oo!s
a!d passes out soe"here i! the ba$# of y head% 8 ta#e his ha!d, a!d he bids e to step i!to the
bath "hile 8 a still "eari!g his shirt% 8 do as 8 told% 8ll ha*e to get used to it if 8 goi!g to ta#e
hi up o! his outrageous offerL if& The "ater is e!ti$i!gly hot%
GTur! arou!d, fa$e e,H he orders, his *oi$e soft% 8 do as 8 bid% 3es "at$hi!g e i!te!tly%
G8 #!o" that lip is deli$ious, 8 $a! attest to that, but "ill you stop biti!g itIH he says through
$le!$hed teeth% GJou $he"i!g it a#es e "a!t to fu$# you, a!d youre sore, o#ayIH
8 gasp, autoati$ally u!lo$#i!g y lip, sho$#ed%
GJeah,H he $halle!ges% G>ot the pi$ture%H 3e glares at e% 8 !od fra!ti$ally . I had no idea I
could affect him so.
G>ood%H 3e rea$hes for"ard a!d ta#es y i.od out of the breast po$#et, a!d he puts it by the
si!#%
GWater a!d i.ods C !ot a $le*er $obi!atio!,H he utters% 3e rea$hes do"!, grasps the he
of y "hite shirt, lifts it abo*e y head, a!d dis$ards it o! the floor%
3e sta!ds ba$# to gaFe at e% I*m na(ed for hea6en*s sa(e. 8 flush $riso! a!d stare do"! at
y ha!ds, le*el "ith the base of y belly, a!d 8 desperately "a!t to disappear i!to the hot "ater
a!d foa, but 8 #!o" he "o!t "a!t that%
G3ey,H he suo!s e% 8 pee# up at hi, a!d his head is $o$#ed to o!e side% G&!astasia,
youre a *ery beautiful "oa!, the "hole pa$#age% <o!t ha!g your head li#e youre ashaed% Jou
ha*e !othi!g to be ashaed of, a!d its a real @oy to sta!d here a!d gaFe at you%H 3e ta#es y $hi!
i! his ha!d a!d tilts y head up to rea$h his eyes% They are soft a!d "ar, heated e*e!% Oh my.
3es so $lose% 8 $ould @ust rea$h up a!d tou$h hi%
GJou $a! sit do"! !o"%H 3e halts y s$attered thoughts, a!d 8 s$oot do"! i!to the "ar,
"el$oi!g "ater% /ohL it sti!gs% Whi$h ta#es e by surprise, but it sells hea*e!ly too, a!d the
i!itial sarti!g pai! soo! ebbs a"ay% 8 lie ba$# a!d briefly $lose y eyes, rela1i!g i! the soothi!g
"arth% Whe! 8 ope! the, he is gaFi!g do"! at e%
GWhy do!t you @oi! eIH 8 as#, bra*ely 8 thi!# C y *oi$e hus#y%
G8 thi!# 8 "ill% =o*e for"ard,H he orders%
3e strips out of his .J pa!ts a!d $libs i! behi!d e% The "ater rises as he sits a!d pulls e
agai!st his $hest% 3e pla$es his lo!g legs o*er i!e, his #!ees be!t a!d his a!#les le*el "ith i!e,
a!d he pulls his feet apart, ope!i!g y legs% 8 gasp i! surprise% 3is !ose is i! y hair a!d he i!hales
deeply%
GJou sell so good, &!astasia%H
& treor ru!s through y "hole body% I am na(ed in a ,ath with Christian $rey.
7e*s na(ed. 8f soeo!e had told e 8d be doi!g this "he! 8 "o#e up i! his hotel suite
yesterday, 8 "ould !ot ha*e belie*ed the%
3e rea$hes for a bottle of body "ash fro the built9i! shelf beside the bath a!d sBuirts soe
i!to his ha!d% 3e rubs his ha!ds together, $reati!g a soft, foai!g lather, a!d he $loses his ha!ds
arou!d y !e$# a!d starts to rub the soap i!to y !e$# a!d shoulders, assagi!g firly "ith his
lo!g, stro!g fi!gers% 8 groa!% 3is ha!ds o! e feel good%
GJou li#e thatIH 8 hear his sile%
G3%H
3e o*es do"! y ars, the! u!der the to y u!derars "ashi!g ge!tly% 8 so glad Eate
i!sisted 8 sha*e% 3is ha!ds glide a$ross to y breasts, a!d 8 i!hale sharply as his fi!gers e!$ir$le
the a!d start #!eadi!g ge!tly, ta#i!g !o priso!ers% =y body bo"s i!sti!$ti*ely, pushi!g y
breasts i!to his ha!ds% =y !ipples are te!der% Aery te!der, !o doubt fro his less9tha!9deli$ate
treate!t of the last !ight% 3e does!t li!ger lo!g a!d glides his ha!ds do"! to y stoa$h a!d
belly% =y breathi!g i!$reases, a!d y heart is ra$i!g% 3is gro"i!g ere$tio! presses agai!st y
behi!d% 8ts su$h a tur!9o! #!o"i!g that its y body a#i!g hi feel this "ay% 7a0 not your
mind. =y sub$o!s$ious s!eers% 8 sha#e off the u!"el$oe thought%
3e stops a!d rea$hes for a "ash$loth as 8 pa!t agai!st hi, "a!ti!gL !eedi!g% =y ha!ds rest
o! his fir, us$ular thighs% SBuirti!g ore soap o! to the "ash$loth, he lea!s do"! a!d "ashes
bet"ee! y legs% 8 hold y breath% 3is fi!gers s#illfully stiulati!g e through the $loth, its
hea*e!ly, a!d y hips start o*i!g at their o"! rhyth, pushi!g agai!st his ha!d% &s the se!satio!s
ta#e o*er, 8 tilt y head ba$#, y eyes rolli!g to the ba$# of y head, y outh sla$#, a!d 8 groa!%
The pressure is buildi!g slo"ly, i!e1orably i!side e L oh my.
GFeel it, baby,H Christia! "hispers i! y ear a!d *ery ge!tly graFes y earlobe "ith his teeth%
GFeel it for e%H =y legs are pi!io!ed by his to the side of the bath, holdi!g e priso!er, gi*i!g
hi easy a$$ess to this ost pri*ate part of yself%
G/hL please,H 8 "hisper% 8 try to stiffe! y legs as y body goes rigid% 8 a i! a se1ual thrall
to this a!, a!d he does!t let e o*e%
G8 thi!# youre $lea! e!ough !o",H he ururs, a!d he stops% #hat& "o& "o& "o&
=y breathi!g is ragged%
GWhy are you stoppi!gIH 8 gasp%
G0e$ause 8 ha*e other pla!s for you &!astasia%H
WhatL oh yL butL 8 "asL thats !ot fair%
GTur! arou!d% 8 !eed "ashi!g, too,H he ururs%
/hK Tur!i!g to fa$e hi, 8 sho$#ed to fi!d he has his ere$tio! firly i! his grasp%
=y outh drops ope!%
G8 "a!t you to be$oe "ell a$Buai!ted, o! first !ae ters if you "ill, "ith y fa*orite a!d
ost $herished part of y body% 8 *ery atta$hed to this%H
It*s so ,ig and growing. 3is ere$tio! is abo*e the "ater li!e, the "ater lappi!g at his hips% 8
gla!$e up at hi a!d $oe fa$e to fa$e "ith his "i$#ed gri!% 3es e!@oyi!g y astou!ded
e1pressio!% 8 realiFe that 8 stari!g% 8 s"allo"% 1hat was inside me& 8t does!t see possible% 3e
"a!ts e to tou$h hi% 7mm L o#ay, bri!g it o!%
8 sile at hi a!d rea$h for the body "ash, sBuirti!g soe soap o!to y ha!d% 8 do as hes
do!e, latheri!g the soap i! y ha!ds u!til they are foay% 8 do !ot ta#e y eyes off his% =y lips are
parted to a$$oodate y breathi!gL *ery deliberately 8 ge!tly bite y botto lip a!d the! ru!
y to!gue a$ross it, tra$i!g "here y teeth ha*e bee!% 3is eyes are serious a!d dar#, a!d they
"ide! as y to!gue s#is y lo"er lip% 8 rea$h for"ard a!d pla$e o!e of y ha!ds arou!d hi,
irrori!g ho" hes holdi!g hiself% 3is eyes $lose briefly% Wo"L feels u$h firer tha! 8 e1pe$t%
8 sBueeFe, a!d he pla$es his ha!d o*er i!e%GLi#e this,H he "hispers, a!d he o*es his ha!d up a!d
do"! "ith a fir grip rou!d y fi!gers, a!d y fi!gers tighte! arou!d hi% 3e $loses his eyes
agai!, a!d his breath hit$hes i! his throat% Whe! he ope!s the agai!, his gaFe is s$or$hi!g olte!
gray% GThats right, baby%H
3e releases y ha!d, lea*i!g e to $o!ti!ue alo!e, a!d $loses his eyes as 8 o*e up a!d
do"! his le!gth% 3e fle1es his hips slightly i!to y ha!d a!d refle1i*ely 8 grasp hi tighter% & lo"
groa! es$apes fro deep "ithi! his throat% 'uc( my mouth0 hmm. 8 reeber hi pushi!g his
thub i! y outh a!d as#i!g e to su$#, hard% 3is outh drops ope! slightly as his breathi!g
i!$reases% 8 lea! for"ard, "hile he has his eyes $losed, a!d pla$e y lips arou!d hi a!d te!tati*ely
su$#, ru!!i!g y to!gue o*er the tip%
GWhoaL &!a%H 3is eyes fly ope!, a!d 8 su$# harder%
3L hes soft a!d hard at o!$e, li#e steel e!$ased i! *el*et, a!d surprisi!gly tasty
C salty a!d sooth%
GChrist,H he groa!s, a!d he $loses his eyes agai!%
=o*i!g do"!, 8 push hi i!to y outh% 3e groa!s agai!% 7a& =y i!!er goddess is
thrilled% 8 $a! do this% I can fu$# him "ith y outh% 8 t"irl y to!gue arou!d the tip agai!, a!d
he fle1es his hips% 3is eyes are ope! !o", blisteri!g "ith heat% 3is teeth are $le!$hed as he fle1es
agai!, a!d 8 push hi deeper i!to y outh, supporti!g yself o! his thighs% 8 feel his legs te!se
be!eath y ha!ds% 3e rea$hes up a!d grabs y pigtails a!d starts to really o*e%
G/hL babyL that feels good,H he ururs% 8 su$# harder, fli$#i!g y to!gue a$ross the
head of his ipressi*e ere$tio!% Wrappi!g y teeth behi!d y lips, 8 $lap y outh arou!d hi%
3is breath hisses bet"ee! his teeth, a!d he groa!s%
GJesus% 3o" far $a! you goIH he "hispers%
7mm0 8 pull hi deeper i!to y outh so 8 $a! feel hi at the ba$# of y throat a!d the!
to the fro!t agai!% =y to!gue s"irls arou!d the e!d% 3es y *ery o"! Christia! >rey fla*or
popsi$le% 8 su$# harder a!d harder, pushi!g hi deeper a!d deeper, s"irli!g y to!gue rou!d a!d
rou!d% 7mm0 8 had !o idea gi*i!g pleasure $ould be su$h a tur!9o!, "at$hi!g hi "rithe subtly
"ith $ar!al lo!gi!g% =y i!!er goddess is doi!g the ere!gue "ith soe salsa o*es%
G&!astasia, 8 goi!g to $oe i! your outh,H his breathy to!e is "ar!i!g% G8f you do!t
"a!t e to, stop !o"%H 3e fle1es his hips agai!, his eyes are "ide, "ary, a!d filled "ith sala$ious
!eed C !eed for e% +eed for y outh%%% oh my.
3oly $rap% 3is ha!ds are really grippi!g y hair% 8 $a! do this% 8 push e*e! harder a!d, i! a
oe!t of e1traordi!ary $o!fide!$e, 8 bare y teeth% 8t tips hi o*er the edge%
3e $ries out a!d stills, a!d 8 $a! feel "ar, salty liBuid ooFi!g do"! y throat% 8 s"allo"
Bui$#ly% 5ghL 8 !ot sure about this% 0ut o!e loo# at hi, a!d hes $oe apart i! the bath
be$ause of e, a!d 8 do!t $are% 8 sit ba$# a!d "at$h hi, a triupha!t, gloati!g sile tuggi!g at
the $or!ers of y lips% 3is breathi!g is ragged% /pe!i!g his eyes, he glares at e% G<o!t you ha*e
a gag refle1IH he as#s, asto!ished% GChrist, &!aL that "asL good, really good, u!e1pe$ted
though%H 3e fro"!s% GJou #!o", you !e*er $ease to aaFe e%H
8 sile a!d $o!s$iously bite y lip% 3e eyes e spe$ulati*ely%
G3a*e you do!e that beforeIH
G+o%H &!d 8 $a!t help the sall ti!ge of pride i! y de!ial%
G>ood,H he says $opla$e!tly a!d, 8 thi!#, relie*ed% GJet a!other first, =iss Steele%H
3e loo#s appraisi!gly at e% GWell, you get a! & i! oral s#ills% Coe, lets go to bed, 8 o"e
you a! orgas%H
Orgasm& Another one&
Qui$#ly, he $labers out of the bath, gi*i!g e y first full glipse of the &do!is, di*i!ely
fored, that is Christia! >rey% =y i!!er goddess has stopped da!$i!g a!d is stari!g too, outh
ope! a!d drooli!g slightly% 3is ere$tio! taed, but still substa!tialL "o"% 3e "raps a sall to"el
arou!d his "aist, $o*eri!g the esse!tials, a!d holds out a larger fluffy "hite to"el for e% Clibi!g
out of the bath, 8 ta#e his proffered ha!d% 3e "raps e i! the to"el, pulls e i!to his ars, a!d
#isses e hard, pushi!g his to!gue i!to y outh%
8 lo!g to rea$h rou!d a!d ebra$e hiL tou$h hiL but he has y ars trapped i! the
to"el% 8 soo! lost i! his #iss% 3e $radles y head, his to!gue e1plori!g y outh, a!d 8 get a
se!se hes e1pressi!g his gratitude C aybe C for y first blo"@obI #hoa.
3e pulls a"ay, his ha!ds o! either side of y fa$e, stari!g i!te!tly i!to y eyes% 3e loo#s
lost%
GSay yes,H he "hispers fer*e!tly%
8 fro"!, !ot u!dersta!di!g%
GTo "hatIH
GJes to our arra!gee!t% To bei!g i!e% .lease, &!a,H he "hispers, ephasiFi!g the last
"ord a!d y !ae, pleadi!g% 3e #isses e agai!, s"eetly, passio!ately, before he sta!ds ba$# a!d
stares at e, bli!#i!g slightly% 3e ta#es y ha!d a!d leads e ba$# to his bedroo, lea*i!g e
reeli!g, so 8 follo" hi ee#ly% Stu!!ed% 7e really wants this.
8! his bedroo, he stares do"! at e as "e sta!d by his bed%
GTrust eIH he as#s sudde!ly% 8 !od, "ide9eyed "ith the sudde! realiFatio! that 8 do trust
hi% #hat*s he going to do to me now. &! ele$tri$ thrill hus through e%
G>ood girl,H he breathes, his thub brushi!g y botto lip% 3e steps a"ay i!to his $loset a!d
$oes ba$# "ith a sil*er9grey sil# "o*e! tie%
GE!it your ha!ds together i! fro!t of you,H he orders as he peels the to"el off e a!d thro"s
it o! the floor%
8 do as he as#s, a!d he bi!ds y "rists together "ith his tie, #!otti!g it firly% 3is eyes are
bright "ith "ild e1$itee!t% 3e tugs at the bi!di!g% 8ts se$ure% %ome ,oy scout he must ha6e ,een
to learn these (nots. What !o"I =y pulse has go!e through the roof, y heart beati!g a fra!ti$
tattoo% 3e ru!s his fi!gers do"! y pigtails%
GJou loo# so you!g "ith these,H he ururs a!d o*es for"ard% 8!sti!$ti*ely, 8 o*e ba$#
u!til 8 feel the bed agai!st the ba$# of y #!ees% 3e drops his to"el, but 8 $a!t ta#e y eyes off his
fa$e% 3is e1pressio! is arde!t, full of desire%
G/h, &!astasia, "hat shall 8 do to youIH he "hispers as he lo"ers e o! to the bed, lyi!g
beside e, a!d raisi!g y ha!ds abo*e y head%
GEeep your ha!ds up here, do!t o*e the, u!dersta!dIH 3is eyes bur! i!to i!e, a!d 8
breathless fro their i!te!sity% This is !ot a a! 8 "a!t to $rossL e*er%
G&!s"er e,H he dea!ds, his *oi$e soft%
G8 "o!t o*e y ha!ds%H 8 breathless%
G>ood girl,H he ururs a!d deliberately li$#s his lips slo"ly% 8 eseriFed by his to!gue
as it s"eeps slo"ly o*er his upper lip% 3es stari!g i!to y eyes, "at$hi!g e, appraisi!g% 3e lea!s
do"! a!d pla!ts a $haste, s"ift #iss o! y lips%
G8 goi!g to #iss you all o*er, =iss Steele,H he says softly, a!d he $ups y $hi!, pushi!g it
up gi*i!g hi a$$ess to y throat% 3is lips glide do"! y throat, #issi!g, su$#i!g, a!d !ippi!g, to
the sall dip at the base of y !e$#% =y body leaps to atte!tio!L e*ery"here% =y re$e!t bath
e1perie!$e has ade y s#i! hyper9se!siti*e% =y heated blood pools lo" i! y belly, bet"ee! y
legs, right do"! there. 8 groa!%
8 "a!t to tou$h hi% 8 o*e y ha!ds a!d rather a"#"ardly, gi*e! 8 restrai!ed, feel his
hair% 3e stops #issi!g e a!d glares up at e, sha#i!g his head fro side to side, tutti!g as he does%
3e rea$hes for y ha!ds a!d pla$es the abo*e y head agai!%
G<o!t o*e your ha!ds, or "e @ust ha*e to start all o*er agai!,H he s$olds e ildly%
/h, hes su$h a tease%
G8 "a!t to tou$h you%H =y *oi$e is all breathy a!d out of $o!trol%
G8 #!o",H he ururs% GEeep your ha!ds abo*e your head,H he orders, his *oi$e for$eful%
3e $ups y $hi! agai! a!d starts to #iss y throat as before% /hL hes so frustrati!g%
3is ha!ds ru! do"! y body a!d o*er y breasts as he rea$hes the dip at the base of y
!e$# "ith his lips% 3e s"irls the tip of his !ose arou!d it the! begi!s a *ery leisurely $ruise "ith his
outh, headi!g south, follo"i!g the path of his ha!ds, do"! y ster!u to y breasts% Ea$h o!e is
#issed a!d !ipped ge!tly a!d y !ipples te!derly su$#ed% 7oly crap.
=y hips start s"ayi!g a!d o*i!g of their o"! a$$ord, gri!di!g to the rhyth of his outh
o! e, a!d 8 desperately tryi!g to reeber to #eep y ha!ds abo*e y head%
GEeep still,H he "ar!s, his breath "ar agai!st y s#i!% Dea$hi!g y !a*el, he dips his
to!gue i!side, a!d the! ge!tly graFes y belly "ith his teeth% =y body bo"s off the bed%G3%
Jou are so s"eet, =iss Steele%H 3is !ose glides alo!g the li!e bet"ee! y belly a!d y pubi$ hair,
biti!g e ge!tly, teasi!g e "ith his to!gue% Sitti!g up sudde!ly, he #!eels at y feet, graspi!g
both y a!#les a!d spreadi!g y legs "ide%
7oly shit. 3e grabs y left foot, be!ds y #!ee, a!d bri!gs y foot up to his outh%
Wat$hi!g a!d assessi!g y e*ery rea$tio!, he te!derly #isses ea$h of y toes the! bites ea$h
o!e of the softly o! the pads% Whe! he rea$hes y little toe, he bites harder, a!d 8 $o!*ulse,
"hiperi!g% 3e glides his to!gue up y i!step C a!d 8 $a! !o lo!ger "at$h hi%
8ts too eroti$% 8 goi!g to $obust% 8 sBueeFe y eyes shut a!d try to absorb a!d a!age all
the se!satio!s hes $reati!g% 3e #isses y a!#le a!d trails #isses up y $alf to y #!ee, stoppi!g
@ust abo*e% 3e the! starts o! y right foot, repeati!g the "hole, sedu$ti*e, i!d9blo"i!g pro$ess%
G/h, please,H 8 oa! as he bites y little toe, the a$tio! reso!ati!g deep i! y belly%
G&ll good thi!gs, =iss Steele,H he breathes%
This tie he does!t stop at y #!ee, he $o!ti!ues up the i!side of y thigh, pushi!g y
thighs apart as he does% &!d 8 #!o" "hat hes goi!g to do, a!d part of e "a!ts to push hi off
be$ause 8 ortified a!d ebarrassed% 3es goi!g to #iss e there& 8 #!o" it% &!d part of e is
gloryi!g i! the a!ti$ipatio!% 3e tur!s to y other #!ee a!d #isses his "ay up y thigh, #issi!g,
li$#i!g, su$#i!g, a!d the! hes bet"ee! y legs, ru!!i!g his !ose up a!d do"! y se1, *ery softly,
*ery ge!tly% 8 "ritheL oh my.
3e stops, "aiti!g for e to $al% 8 do a!d raise y head to gaFe at hi, y outh ope! as
y pou!di!g heart struggles to $oe out%
G<o you #!o" ho" i!to1i$ati!g you sell, =iss SteeleIH he ururs, a!d #eepi!g his eyes
o! i!e, he pushes his !ose i!to y pubi$ hair a!d i!hales%
8 flush s$arlet, e*ery"here, feeli!g fai!t, a!d 8 i!sta!tly $lose y eyes% 8 $a!t "at$h hi do
thatK
3e blo"s ge!tly up the le!gth of y se1% Oh fuc(0
G8 li#e this%H 3e ge!tly tugs at y pubi$ hair% G.erhaps "ell #eep this%H
G/hL please,H 8 beg%
G3, 8 li#e it "he! you beg e, &!astasia%H
8 groa!%
GTit for tat is !ot y usual style, =iss Steele,H he "hispers as he ge!tly blo"s up a!d do"!
e% G0ut you*e pleased e today, a!d you should be re"arded%H 8 hear the "i$#ed gri! i! his
*oi$e, a!d "hile y body is si!gi!g fro his "ords, his to!gue starts to slo"ly $ir$le y $litoris as
his ha!ds hold do"! y thighs%
G&arghKH 8 oa! as y body bo"s a!d $o!*ulses at the tou$h of his to!gue%
3e s"irls his to!gue rou!d a!d rou!d, agai! a!d agai!, #eepi!g up the torture% 8 losi!g all
se!se of self, e*ery ato of y bei!g $o!$e!trati!g hard o! that sall, pote!t po"erhouse at the
ape1 of y thighs% =y legs go rigid, a!d he slips his fi!ger i!side e, a!d 8 hear his gro"li!g
groa!%
G/h, baby% 8 lo*e that youre so "et for e%H
3e o*es his fi!ger i! a "ide $ir$le, stret$hi!g e, pulli!g at e, his to!gue irrori!g his
a$tio!s, rou!d a!d rou!d, 8 groa!% 8t is too u$hL =y body begs for relief, a!d 8 $a! !o lo!ger
de!y it% 8 let go, losi!g all $oge!t thought as y orgas seiFes e, "ri!gi!g y i!sides agai! a!d
agai!% 7oly fuc(. 8 $ry out, a!d the "orld dips a!d disappears fro *ie" as the for$e of y $lia1
re!ders e*erythi!g !ull a!d *oid%
8 a pa!ti!g a!d *aguely hear the rip of foil% Aery slo"ly he eases i!to e a!d starts to o*e%
/hL y% The feeli!g is sore a!d s"eet, a!d bold a!d ge!tle all at o!$e%
G3o"s thisIH he breathes%
GFi!e% >ood,H 8 breathe% &!d he really starts to o*e, fast, hard, a!d large, thrusti!g i!to e
o*er a!d o*er, ipla$able, pushi!g e a!d pushi!g e u!til 8 a $lose to the edge agai!% 8
"hiper%
GCoe for e, baby%H 3is *oi$e is harsh, hard, ra" at y ear, a!d 8 e1plode arou!d hi as he
pou!ds rapidly i!to e%
GTha!# fu$#,H he "hispers, a!d he thrusts hard o!$e ore a!d groa!s as he rea$hes his
$lia1, pressi!g hiself i!to e% The! he stills, his body rigid%
Collapsi!g o! top of e, 8 feel his full "eight for$i!g e i!to the attress% 8 pull y tied
ha!ds o*er his !e$# a!d hold hi the best 8 $a!% 8 #!o" i! that oe!t that 8 "ould do a!ythi!g for
this a!% 8 a his% The "o!der that hes i!trodu$ed e to, its beyo!d a!ythi!g 8 $ould ha*e
iagi!ed% &!d he "a!ts to ta#e it further, so u$h further, to a pla$e 8 $a!t, i! y i!!o$e!$e, e*e!
iagi!e% Oh0 what to do.
3e lea!s up o! his elbo"s a!d stares do"! at e, gray eyes i!te!se%
GSee ho" good "e are together,H he ururs% G8f you gi*e yourself to e, it "ill be so u$h
better% Trust e, &!astasia, 8 $a! ta#e you pla$es you do!t e*e! #!o" e1ist%H
3is "ords e$ho y thoughts% 3e stro#es his !ose agai!st i!e% 8 a still reeli!g fro y
e1traordi!ary physi$al rea$tio! to hi, a!d 8 gaFe up at hi bla!#ly, graspi!g for a $ohere!t
thought%
Sudde!ly "e both be$oe a"are of *oi$es i! the hall outside his bedroo door% 8t ta#es a
oe!t to pro$ess "hat 8 $a! hear%
B9ut if he*s still in ,ed then he must ,e ill. 7e*s ne6er in ,ed at this time. Christian ne6er
sleeps in.E
BMrs. $rey please.E
B1aylor. )ou cannot (eep me from my son.E
BMrs. $rey he*s not alone.E
B#hat do you mean he*s not alone.E
B7e has someone with him.E
B Oh0 E E*e! 8 hear the disbelief i! her *oi$e%
Christia! bli!#s rapidly, stari!g do"! at e, "ide9eyed "ith huored horror%
GShitK 8ts y other%H
3e pulls out of e sudde!ly% 8 "i!$e% 3e sits up o! the bed a!d thro"s the used $o!do i! a
"astebas#et%
GCoe o!, "e !eed to get dressed C thats if you "a!t to eet y other%H 3e gri!s, leaps up
off the bed, a!d pulls o! his @ea!s, !o u!der"earK 8 struggle to sit up as 8 still tethered%
GChristia! 9 8 $a!t o*e%H
3is gri! "ide!s, a!d lea!i!g do"!, he u!does the tie% The "o*e! patter! has ade a!
i!de!ted patter! arou!d y "rists% 8tsL se1y% 3e gaFes at e% 3es aused, his eyes da!$i!g "ith
irth% 3e #isses y forehead Bui$#ly a!d beas at e%
G&!other first,H he a$#!o"ledges, but 8 ha*e !o idea "hat hes tal#i!g about%
G8 ha*e !o $lea! $lothes i! here%H 8 a filled "ith sudde! pa!i$, a!d $o!sideri!g "hat 8*e
@ust e1perie!$ed, 8 fi!di!g the pa!i$ o*er"heli!g% 3is otherK 7oly crap. 8 ha*e !o $lea!
$lothes, a!d shes pra$ti$ally "al#ed i! o! us i! flagra!te deli$to% G.erhaps 8 should stay here%H
G/h, !o, you do!t,H Christia! threate!s% GJou $a! "ear soethi!g of i!e%H 3es slipped o!
a "hite t9shirt a!d ru!s his ha!d through his @ust9fu$#ed hair% 8! spite of y a!1iety, 8 lose y trai!
of thought% Will 8 e*er get used to loo#i!g at this beautiful a!I
3is beauty is deraili!g%
G&!astasia, you $ould be "eari!g a sa$# a!d youd loo# lo*ely% .lease do!t "orry%
8d li#e you to eet y other% >et dressed% 8ll @ust go a!d $al her do"!%H 3is outh
presses i!to a hard li!e% G8 "ill e1pe$t you i! that roo i! fi*e i!utes, other"ise 8ll $oe a!d
drag you out of here yself i! "hate*er youre "eari!g% =y t9shirts are i! this dra"er%
=y shirts are i! the $loset% 3elp yourself%H 3e eyes e spe$ulati*ely for a oe!t, the!
lea*es the roo%
7oly shit. Christian*s mother. This is so u$h ore tha! 8 bargai!ed for% .erhaps eeti!g
her "ill help put a little part of the @igsa" i! pla$e% =ight help e u!dersta!d "hy Christia! is the
"ay he isL Sudde!ly, 8 "a!t to eet her% 8 pull y shirt off the floor, a!d 8 pleased to dis$o*er
that it has sur*i*ed the !ight "ell "ith hardly a!y $reases% 8 fi!d y blue bra u!der the bed a!d
dress Bui$#ly% 0ut if theres o!e thi!g 8 hate, its !ot "eari!g $lea! pa!ties% 8 rifle through
Christia!s $hest of dra"ers a!d $oe a$ross his bo1er briefs%
&fter pulli!g o! a pair of tight gray Cal*i! Elei!s, 8 tug o! y @ea!s a!d y Co!*erse%
>rabbi!g y @a$#et, 8 dash i!to the bathroo a!d stare at y too9bright eyes, y flushed fa$e
C a!d y hairK 3oly $rapL @ust9fu$#ed pigtails do !ot suit e either% 8 hu!t i! the *a!ity u!it for a
brush a!d fi!d a $ob% 8t "ill ha*e to do% & po!ytail is the o!ly a!s"er% 8 despair at y $lothes%
=aybe 8 should ta#e Christia! up o! his offer of $lothes%
=y sub$o!s$ious purses her lips a!d ouths the "ord Mho% 8 ig!ore her% Struggli!g i!to y
@a$#et, pleased that the $uffs $o*er the tell9tale patter!s fro his tie, 8 ta#e a last a!1ious gla!$e at
yself i! the irror% This "ill ha*e to do% 8 a#e y "ay i!to the ai! li*i!g roo%
G3ere she is%H Christia! sta!ds fro "here hes lou!gi!g o! the $ou$h%
3is e1pressio! is "ar a!d appre$iati*e% The sa!dy9haired "oa! beside hi tur!s a!d
beas at e, a full ega"att sile% She sta!ds too% Shes ipe$$ably attired i! a $ael9$olored
fi!e #!it s"eater dress "ith at$hi!g shoes% She loo#s grooed, elega!t, beautiful, a!d i!side 8 die
a little, #!o"i!g 8 loo# su$h a ess%
G=other, this is &!astasia Steele% &!astasia, this is >ra$e Tre*elya!9>rey%H
<r% Tre*elya!9>rey holds her ha!d out to e% 10 for 1re6elyan.
GWhat a pleasure to eet you,H she ururs% 8f 8 !ot ista#e!, there is "o!der a!d aybe
stu!!ed relief i! her *oi$e a!d a "ar glo" i! her haFel eyes% 8 grasp her ha!d, a!d 8 $a!t help but
sile, retur!i!g her "arth%
G<r% Tre*elya!9>rey,H 8 urur%
GCall e >ra$e,H she gri!s, a!d Christia! fro"!s% G8 a usually <r% Tre*elya!, a!d =rs% >rey
is y other9i!9la"%H She "i!#s% GSo ho" did you t"o eetIH She loo#s Buestio!i!gly at
Christia!, u!able to hide her $uriosity%
G&!astasia i!ter*ie"ed e for the stude!t paper at WS5 be$ause 8 $o!ferri!g the degrees
there this "ee#%H
4ou,le crap. 8d forgotte! that%
GSo you are graduati!g this "ee#IH >ra$e as#s%
GJes%H
=y $ell pho!e starts ri!gi!g% !ate I ,et.
GE1$use e%H 8ts i! the #it$he!% 8 "a!der o*er a!d lea! a$ross the brea#fast bar, !ot $he$#i!g
the !uber%
GEate%H
G<ios ioK &!aKH 7oly crap it*s =os>?2@@A. 3e sou!ds desperate% GWhere are youI 8*e
bee! tryi!g to $o!ta$t you% 8 !eed to see you, to apologiFe for y beha*ior o! Friday% Why ha*e!t
you retur!ed y $allsIH
GLoo# JosNO222P, !o"s !ot a good tie%H 8 gla!$e a!1iously o*er at Christia! "hos
"at$hi!g e i!te!tly, his fa$e ipassi*e as he ururs soethi!g to his o% 8 tur! y ba$# to
hi%
GWhere are youI Eate is bei!g so e*asi*e,H he "hi!es%
G8 i! Seattle%H
GWhat are you doi!g i! SeattleI &re you "ith hiIH
GJosNO222P, 8ll $all you later% 8 $a!t tal# to you !o"%H 8 ha!g up%
8 "al# as !o!$hala!tly ba$# to Christia! a!d his other% >ra$e is i! full flo"%
GL &!d Elliot $alled to say you "ere arou!d C 8 ha*e!t see! you for t"o "ee#s, darli!g%H
G<id he !o"IH Christia! ururs, gaFi!g at e, his e1pressio! u!readable%
G8 thought "e ight ha*e lu!$h together, but 8 $a! see you ha*e other pla!s, a!d 8 do!t "a!t
to i!terrupt your day%H She gathers up her lo!g $rea $oat a!d tur!s to hi, offeri!g hi her $hee#%
3e #isses her briefly, s"eetly% She does!t tou$h hi%
G8 ha*e to dri*e &!astasia ba$# to .ortla!d%H
G/f $ourse, darli!g% &!astasia, its bee! su$h a pleasure% 8 do hope "e eet agai!%H
She holds her ha!d out to e, her eyes glo"i!g, a!d "e sha#e%
Taylor appears froL where.
G=rs% >reyIH he as#s%
GTha!# you, Taylor%H 3e es$orts her fro the roo a!d through the double doors to the foyer%
Taylor "as here the "hole tieI 3o" lo!g has he bee! hereI Where has he bee!I
Christia! glares at e%
GSo the photographer $alledIH
Crap.
GJes%H
GWhat did he "a!tIH
GJust to apologiFe, you #!o" C for Friday%H
Christia! !arro"s his eyes%
G8 see,H he says siply%
Taylor reappears%
G=r% >rey, theres a! issue "ith the <arfur shipe!t%H
Christia! !ods $urtly at hi%
GCharlie Ta!go ba$# at 0oei!g FieldIH
GJes sir%H
Taylor !ods at e%
G=iss Steele%H
8 sile te!tati*ely ba$# at hi, a!d he tur!s a!d lea*es%
G<oes he li*e hereI TaylorIH
GJes%H 3is to!e is $lipped% #hat is his pro,lem.
Christia! heads o*er to the #it$he! a!d pi$#s up his 0la$#0erry, s$rolli!g through soe
eails, 8 assue% 3is outh presses i! a hard li!e, a!d he a#es a $all%
GDos, "hats the issueIH he s!aps% 3e liste!s, "at$hi!g e, gray eyes spe$ulati*e, as 8 sta!d
i! the iddle of the huge roo "o!deri!g "hat to do "ith yself, feeli!g e1traordi!arily self9
$o!s$ious a!d out of pla$e%
G8 !ot ha*i!g either $re" put at ris#% +o, $a!$elL Well air drop i!steadL >ood%H
3e ha!gs up% The "arth i! his eyes has disappeared% 3e loo#s forbiddi!g, a!d "ith o!e
Bui$# gla!$e at e, he heads i!to his study a!d retur!s a oe!t later%
GThis is the $o!tra$t% Dead it, a!d "ell dis$uss it !e1t "ee#e!d% =ay 8 suggest you do soe
resear$h, so you #!o" "hats i!*ol*ed%H 3e pauses% GThats if you agree, a!d 8 really hope you do%H
3e adds, his to!e softer, a!1ious%
GDesear$hIH
GJoull be aaFed "hat you $a! fi!d o! the 8!ter!et,H he ururs%
8!ter!etK 8 do!t ha*e a$$ess to a $oputer, o!ly Eates laptop, a!d 8 $ould!t use Clayto!s,
!ot for this sort of Mresear$h surelyI
GWhat is itIH he as#s, $o$#i!g his head to o!e side%
G8 do!t ha*e a $oputer% 8ll see if 8 $a! use Eates laptop%H
3e ha!ds e a a!ila e!*elope%
G8 sure 8 $a!L err, le!d you o!e% >rab your thi!gs, "ell dri*e ba$# to .ortla!d a!d grab
soe lu!$h o! the "ay% 8 !eed to dress%H
G8ll @ust a#e a $all,H 8 urur% 8 @ust "a!t to hear Eates *oi$e% 3e fro"!s%
GThe photographerIH 3is @a" $le!$hes, a!d his eyes bur!% 8 bli!# at hi% G8 do!t li#e to
share, =iss Steele% Deeber that%H 3is Buiet, $hilli!g to!e is a "ar!i!g, a!d "ith o!e lo!g, $old
loo# at e, he heads ba$# to the bedroo%
3oly $rap% I +ust wanted to call !ate 8 "a!t to $all after hi, but his sudde! aloof!ess has
left e paralyFed% What happe!ed to the ge!erous, rela1ed, sili!g a! "ho "as a#i!g lo*e to
e !ot half a! hour agoI
GDeadyIH Christia! as#s as "e sta!d by the double doors to the foyer%
8 !od u!$ertai!ly% 3es resued his dista!t, polite, uptight perso!a, his as# ba$# up a!d o!
sho"% 3es $arryi!g a leather esse!ger bag% Why does he !eed thatI .erhaps hes stayi!g i!
.ortla!d, a!d the! 8 reeber graduatio!% /h yesL hell be there o! Thursday%
3es "eari!g a bla$# leather @a$#et% 3e $ertai!ly does!t loo# li#e the ulti9ulti illio!9
aire, billio!aire, "hat9e*er9aire, i! these $lothes% 3e loo#s li#e a boy fro the "ro!g side of the
tra$#s, aybe a badly beha*ed ro$# star or a $at"al# odel% 8 sigh i!"ardly, "ishi!g 8 had a te!th
of his poise% 3es so $al a!d $o!trolled% 8 fro"!, re$alli!g his outburst about JosNO222PL Well,
he sees to be%
Taylor is ho*eri!g i! the ba$#grou!d%
GToorro" the!,H he says to Taylor "ho !ods%
GJes sir% Whi$h $ar are you ta#i!g, sirIH
3e loo#s do"! at e briefly%
GThe D)%H
GSafe trip, =r% >rey% =iss Steele%H Taylor loo#s #i!dly at e, though perhaps theres a hi!t of
pity hidde! i! the depths of his eyes%
+o doubt he thi!#s 8*e su$$ubed to =r% >reys dubious se1ual habits% +ot yet, @ust his
e1$eptio!al se1ual habits, or perhaps se1 is li#e that for e*eryo!e% 8 fro"! at the thought% 8 ha*e !o
$opariso!, a!d 8 $a!t as# Eate% Thats soethi!g 8 a goi!g to ha*e to address "ith Christia!%
8ts perfe$tly !atural that 8 should tal# to soeo!e C a!d 8 $a!t tal# to hi if he is so ope! o!e
i!ute a!d so sta!doffish the !e1t%
Taylor holds the door ope! for us a!d ushers us through% Christia! suo!s the ele*ator%
GWhat is it, &!astasiaIH he as#s% 3o" does he #!o" 8 $he"i!g soethi!g o*er i! y i!dI 3e
rea$hes up a!d pulls y $hi!%
GStop biti!g your lip, or 8 "ill fu$# you i! the ele*ator, a!d 8 do!t $are "ho gets i! "ith us%H
8 blush, but theres a hi!t of a sile arou!d his lips, fi!ally his ood sees to be
shifti!g%GChristia!, 8 ha*e a proble%H
G/hIH 8 ha*e his full atte!tio!%
The ele*ator arri*es% We "al# i!, a!d Christia! presses the butto! ar#ed >%
GWell,H 8 flush% 7ow to say this. G8 !eed to tal# to Eate% 8*e so a!y Buestio!s about se1,
a!d youre too i!*ol*ed% 8f you "a!t e to do all these thi!gs, ho" do 8 #!o"CIH 8 pause,
struggli!g to fi!d the right "ords% G8 @ust do!t ha*e a!y ters of refere!$e%H
3e rolls his eyes at e%
GTal# to her if you ust%H 3e sou!ds e1asperated% G=a#e sure she does!t e!tio! a!ythi!g
to Elliot%H
8 bristle at his i!si!uatio!% !ate isn*t li(e that.
GShe "ould!t do that, a!d 8 "ould!t tell you a!ythi!g she tells e about Elliot C if she "ere
to tell e a!ythi!g,H 8 add Bui$#ly%
GWell, the differe!$e is that 8 do!t "a!t to #!o" about his se1 life,H Christia! ururs dryly%
GElliots a !osy bastard% 0ut o!ly about "hat "e*e do!e so far,H he "ar!s%
GShed probably ha*e y balls if she #!e" "hat 8 "a!ted to do to you,H he adds so softly 8
!ot sure 8 supposed to hear it%
G/#ay,H 8 agree readily, sili!g up at hi, relie*ed% The thought of Eate "ith Christia!s balls
is !ot soethi!g 8 "a!t to d"ell o!%
3is lip Buir#s up at e, a!d he sha#es his head%
GThe soo!er 8 ha*e your subissio! the better, a!d "e $a! stop all this,H he ururs%
GStop all "hatIH
GJou, defyi!g e%H 3e rea$hes do"! a!d $ups y $hi! a!d pla!ts a s"ift, s"eet #iss o! y
lips as the doors to the ele*ator ope!% 3e grabs y ha!d a!d leads e i!to the u!dergrou!d garage%
Me defying him0 how.
0eside the ele*ator, 8 $a! see the bla$# S1S &udi, but its the slee#, bla$# sporty !uber that
blips ope! a!d lights up "he! he poi!ts the #ey fob at it% 8ts o!e of those $ars that should ha*e a
*ery leggy blo!de, "eari!g !othi!g but a sash, spra"led a$ross the hood%
G+i$e $ar,H 8 urur dryly%
3e gla!$es up a!d gri!s%
G8 #!o",H he says, a!d for a split se$o!d, s"eet, you!g, $arefree Christia! is ba$#% 8t "ars
y heart% 3es so e1$ited% 9oys and their toys. 8 roll y eyes at hi but $a!t stifle y sile% 3e
ope!s the door for e a!d 8 $lib i!% WhoaL its lo"% 3e o*es rou!d the $ar "ith easy gra$e a!d
folds his lo!g frae elega!tly i! beside e . 7ow does he do that.
GSo "hat sort of $ar is thisIH
G8ts a! &udi D) Spyder% 8ts a lo*ely day, "e $a! ta#e the top do"!% Theres a baseball $ap i!
there% 8! fa$t there should be t"o%H 3e poi!ts to the glo*e bo1% G&!d su!glasses if you "a!t the%H
3e starts the ig!itio!, a!d the e!gi!e roars behi!d us% 3e pla$es his bag i! the spa$e behi!d
our seats, presses a butto!, a!d the roof slo"ly re$li!es% With the fli$# of a s"it$h, 0ru$e
Spri!gstee! surrou!ds us%
G>otta lo*e 0ru$e,H he gri!s at e a!d eases the $ar out of the par#i!g spa$e, a!d up the steep
rap "here "e pause for the barrier%
The! "ere out i!to the bright Seattle =ay or!i!g% 8 rea$h i!to the glo*e bo1 a!d retrie*e
the baseball $aps% The =ari!ers% 3e li#es baseballI 8 pass hi a $ap, a!d he puts it o!% 8 pass y
po!ytail through the ba$# of i!e a!d pull the pea# do"! lo"%
.eople stare at us as "e dri*e through the streets% For a oe!t, 8 thi!# its at hiL
a!d the! a *ery para!oid part thi!#s e*eryo!e is loo#i!g at e be$ause they #!o" "hat 8*e
bee! doi!g duri!g the last t"el*e hours, but fi!ally, 8 realiFe its the $ar% Christia! sees obli*ious,
lost i! thought%
The traffi$ is light a!d "ere soo! o! the 894 headi!g south, the "i!d s"eepi!g o*er our
heads% 0ru$e is si!gi!g about bei!g o! fire a!d his desire% 3o" apt% 8 flush as 8 liste! to the "ords%
Christia! gla!$es at e% 3es got his Day90a!s o! so 8 $a!t see "hat hes thi!#i!g% 3is outh
t"it$hes slightly, a!d he rea$hes a$ross a!d pla$es his ha!d o! y #!ee, sBueeFi!g ge!tly% =y
breath hit$hes%
G3u!gryIH he as#s%
"ot for food.
G+ot parti$ularly%H
3is outh tighte!s i!to that hard li!e%
GJou ust eat, &!astasia,H he $hides% G8 #!o" a great pla$e !ear /lypia% Well stop there%H
3e sBueeFes y #!ee agai!, a!d the! retur!s his ha!d to the steeri!g "heel as he puts his foot do"!
o! the gas% 8 pressed i!to the ba$# of y seat% 0oy this $ar $a! o*e%
The restaura!t is sall a!d i!tiate, a "oode! $halet i! the iddle of a forest% The
dNO222P$or is rusti$: ra!do $hairs a!d tables "ith gi!gha table$loths, "ild flo"ers i! little
*ases% Cuisine %au6age it boasts abo*e the door%
G8*e !ot bee! here for a "hile% We do!t get a $hoi$e C they $oo# "hate*er they*e $aught or
gathered%H 3e raises his eyebro"s i! o$# horror, a!d 8 ha*e to laugh% The "aitress ta#es our dri!#s
order% She flushes "he! she sees Christia!, a*oidi!g eye $o!ta$t "ith hi, hidi!g u!der her lo!g
blo!de ba!gs% She li#es hiK It*s not +ust me&
GT"o glasses of the .i!ot >rigio,H Christia! says "ith a *oi$e of authority% 8 purse y lips,
e1asperated%
GWhatIH he s!aps%
G8 "a!ted a <iet Co#e,H 8 "hisper%
3is gray eyes !arro", a!d he sha#es his head%
GThe .i!ot >rigio heres a de$e!t "i!e, it "ill go "ell "ith the eal, "hate*er "e get%H
3e says patie!tly%
GWhate*er "e getIH
GJes%H 3e siles, his daFFli!g, head $o$#ed to o!e side sile, a!d y stoa$h pole *aults
o*er y splee!% 8 $a!t help but refle$t his glorious sile ba$# at hi%
G=y other li#ed you,H he says dryly%
GDeallyIH 3is "ords a#e e flush "ith pleasure%
G/h yes% Shes al"ays thought 8 "as gay%H
=y outh drops ope!, a!d 8 reeber that 3uestion0 from the inter6iew. Oh no.
GWhy did she thi!# you "ere gayIH 8 "hisper%
G0e$ause shes !e*er see! e "ith a girl%H
G/hL !ot e*e! o!e of the fiftee!IH
3e siles%
GJou reebered% +o, !o!e of the fiftee!%H
G/h%H
GJou #!o", &!astasia, its bee! a "ee#e!d of firsts for e, too,H he says Buietly%
G8t hasIH
G8*e !e*er slept "ith a!yo!e, !e*er had se1 i! y bed, !e*er flo"! a girl i! Charlie Ta!go,
!e*er i!trodu$ed a "oa! to y other% What are you doi!g to eIH 3is eyes bur!, their i!te!sity
ta#es y breath a"ay%
The "aitress arri*es "ith our glasses of "i!e, a!d 8 iediately ta#e a Bui$# sip% 8s he
ope!i!g up or @ust a#i!g a $asual obser*atio!I
G8*e really e!@oyed this "ee#e!d,H 8 urur% 3e !arro"s his eyes at e agai!%
GStop biti!g that lip,H he gro"ls% G=e too,H he adds%
GWhats *a!illa se1IH 8 as#, if a!ythi!g to distra$t yself fro the i!te!se, bur!i!g, se1y loo#
hes gi*i!g e% 3e laughs%
GJust straightfor"ard se1, &!astasia% +o toys, !o added e1tras%H 3e shrugs% GJou #!o"L "ell
a$tually you do!t, but thats "hat it ea!s%H
G/h%H 8 thought it "as $ho$olate fudge bro"!ie se1 that "e had, "ith a $herry o! the top% 0ut
hey, "hat do 8 #!o"I
The "aitress bri!gs us soup% We both stare at it rather dubiously%
G+ettle soup,H the "aitress i!fors us before tur!i!g a!d flou!$i!g ba$# i!to the #it$he!% 8
do!t thi!# she li#es to be ig!ored by Christia!% 8 ta#e a te!tati*e taste% 8ts deli$ious%
Christia! a!d 8 loo# up at ea$h other at the sae tie "ith relief% 8 giggle, a!d he $o$#s his
head to o!e side%
GThats a lo*ely sou!d,H he ururs%
GWhy ha*e you !e*er had *a!illa se1 beforeI 3a*e you al"ays do!eL err, "hat you*e
do!eIH 8 as#, i!trigued%
3e !ods slo"ly%
GSort of%H 3is *oi$e is "ary% 3e fro"!s for a oe!t a!d sees to be e!gaged i! soe #i!d
of i!ter!al struggle% The! he gla!$es up, a de$isio! ade% G/!e of y others frie!ds sedu$ed e
"he! 8 "as fiftee!%H
G/h%H 7oly shit that*s young&
GShe had *ery parti$ular tastes% 8 "as her subissi*e for si1 years%H 3e shrugs%
G/h%H =y brai! has froFe!, stu!!ed i!to i!a$ti*ity by this adissio!%
GSo 8 do #!o" "hat it i!*ol*es, &!astasia%H 3is eyes glo" "ith i!sight%
8 stare at hi, u!able to arti$ulate a!ythi!g C e*e! y sub$o!s$ious is sile!t%
G8 did!t really ha*e a ru!9of9the9ill i!trodu$tio! to se1%H
Curiosity #i$#s i! big tie%
GSo you !e*er dated a!yo!e at $ollegeIH
G+o%H 3e sha#es his head to ephasiFe the poi!t%
The "aitress ta#es our plates, i!terrupti!g us for a oe!t%
GWhyIH 8 as# "he! shes go!e%
3e siles sardo!i$ally%
G<o you really "a!t to #!o"IH
GJes%H
G8 did!t "a!t to% She "as all 8 "a!ted, !eeded% &!d besides, shed ha*e beate! the shit out of
e%H 3e siles fo!dly at the eory%
Oh this is way too much information 2 but 8 "a!t ore%
GSo if she "as a frie!d of your others, ho" old "as sheIH
3e sir#s%
G/ld e!ough to #!o" better%H
G<o you still see herIH
GJes%H
G<o you stillL errL IH 8 flush%
G+o%H 3e sha#es his head a!d siles i!dulge!tly at e% GShes a *ery good frie!d%H
G/h% <oes your other #!o"IH
3e gi*es e a do!t9be9stupid stare%
G/f $ourse !ot%H
The "aitress retur!s "ith *e!iso!, but y appetite has *a!ished% What a re*elatio!%
Christian the su,missi6e0 7oly shit. 8 ta#e a large slug of .i!ot >rigio C hes right, of
$ourse, its deli$ious% JeeF, all these re*elatio!s, its so u$h to thi!# about% 8 !eed tie to pro$ess
this, "he! 8 o! y o"!, !ot "he! 8 distra$ted by his prese!$e% 3es so o*er"heli!g, so
&lpha =ale, a!d !o" hes thro"! this bobshell i!to the eBuatio!% 7e (nows what it*s li(e.
G0ut it $a!t ha*e bee! full tieIH 8 $o!fused%
GWell, it "as, though 8 did!t see her all the tie% 8t "asL diffi$ult% &fter all, 8 "as still at
s$hool a!d the! at $ollege% Eat up, &!astasia%H
G8 really !ot hu!gry, Christia!%H I am reeling from your disclosure.
3is e1pressio! harde!s%
GEat,H he says Buietly, too Buietly%
8 stare at hi% This a! C se1ually abused as a! adoles$e!t C his to!e is so threate!i!g%
G>i*e e a oe!t,H 8 utter Buietly% 3e bli!#s a $ouple of ties%
G/#ay,H he ururs, a!d he $o!ti!ues "ith his eal%
This is "hat it "ill be li#e if 8 sig!, hi orderi!g e arou!d% 8 fro"!% 4o I want this.
Dea$hi!g for y #!ife a!d for#, 8 te!tati*ely $ut i!to the *e!iso!% 8ts *ery tasty%
G8s this "hat our errL relatio!ship "ill be li#eIH 8 "hisper% GJou, orderi!g e arou!dIH 8
$a!t Buite bri!g yself to loo# at hi%
GJes,H he ururs%
G8 see%H
G&!d "hats ore, youll "a!t e to,H he adds, his *oi$e lo"%
I sincerely dou,t that. 8 sli$e a!other pie$e of *e!iso!, holdi!g it agai!st y outh%
G8ts a big step,H 8 urur a!d eat%
G8t is%H 3e $loses his eyes briefly% Whe! he ope!s the, they are "ide a!d gra*e%
G&!astasia, you ha*e to go "ith your gut% <o the resear$h, read the $o!tra$t C 8 happy to
dis$uss a!y aspe$t% 8ll be i! .ortla!d u!til Friday if you "a!t to tal# about it before the!%H 3is
"ords are $oi!g at e i! a rush% GCall e C aybe "e $a! ha*e di!!er C say, Wed!esdayI 8 really
"a!t to a#e this "or#% 8! fa$t, 8*e !e*er "a!ted a!ythi!g as u$h as 8 "a!t this to "or#%H
3is bur!i!g si!$erity, his lo!gi!g, is refle$ted i! his eyes% This is fu!dae!tally "hat 8 do!t
grasp% #hy me. Why !ot o!e of the fiftee!I /h !oL Will that be e C a !uberI
Si1tee! of a!yI
GWhat happe!ed to the fiftee!IH 8 blurt%
3e raises his eyebro"s i! surprise, the! loo#s resig!ed, sha#i!g his head%
GAarious thi!gs, but it boils do"! to,H he pauses, struggli!g to fi!d the "ords 8 thi!#%
G8!$opatibility%H 3e shrugs%
G&!d you thi!# that 8 ight be $opatible "ith youIH
GJes%H
GSo youre !ot seei!g a!y of the a!yoreIH
G+o, &!astasia, 8 !ot% 8 a o!ogaous i! y relatio!ships%H
/hL this is news.
G8 see%H
G<o the resear$h, &!astasia%H
8 put y #!ife a!d for# do"!% 8 $a!!ot eat a!y ore%
GThats itI Thats all youre goi!g to eatIH
8 !od% 3e s$o"ls at e but $hooses !ot to say a!ythi!g% 8 breathe a sall sigh of relief%
=y stoa$h is $hur!i!g "ith all this !e" i!foratio!, a!d 8 feeli!g a little lightheaded
fro the "i!e% 8 "at$h as he de*ours e*erythi!g o! his plate% 3e eats li#e a horse% 3e ust "or#
out to stay i! su$h great shape% The eory of the "ay his .Js hu!g fro his hips $oes u!bidde!
to y i!d% The iage is totally distra$ti!g% 8 sBuir u!$ofortably% 3e gla!$es up at e, a!d 8
blush%
G8d gi*e a!ythi!g to #!o" "hat youre thi!#i!g right at this oe!t,H he ururs%
8 blush further%
3e siles a "i$#ed sile at e%
G8 $a! guess,H he teases softly%
G8 glad you $a!t read y i!d%H
GJour i!d, !o, &!astasia, but your body C that 8*e got to #!o" Buite "ell si!$e yesterday%H
3is *oi$e is suggesti*e% 3o" does he s"it$h so Bui$#ly fro o!e ood to the !e1tI 3es so
er$urialL 8ts hard to #eep up%
3e otio!s for the "aitress a!d as#s for the $he$#% /!$e hes paid, he sta!ds a!d holds out
his ha!d%
GCoe%H Ta#i!g y ha!d i! his, he leads e ba$# to the $ar% This $o!ta$t, flesh to flesh, its
"hat is so u!e1pe$ted fro hi, !oral, i!tiate% 8 $a!t re$o!$ile this ordi!ary, te!der gesture
"ith "hat he "a!ts to do i! that rooL The Ded Doo of .ai!%
We are Buiet o! the dri*e fro /lypia to Aa!$ou*er, both lost i! our o"! thoughts%
Whe! he par#s outside y aparte!t, its fi*e i! the e*e!i!g% The lights are o! C Eate is at
hoe% .a$#i!g, !o doubt, u!less Elliot is still there% 3e s"it$hes off the e!gi!e, a!d 8 realiFe 8
goi!g to ha*e to lea*e hi%
G<o you "a!t to $oe i!IH 8 as#% 8 do!t "a!t hi to go% 8 "a!t to prolo!g our tie together%
G+o% 8 ha*e "or# to do,H he says siply, gaFi!g at e, his e1pressio! u!fathoable%
8 stare do"! at y ha!ds, as 8 #!ot y fi!gers together% Sudde!ly 8 feel eotio!al%
3es lea*i!g% Dea$hi!g o*er, he ta#es o!e of y ha!ds a!d slo"ly pulls it to his outh,
te!derly #issi!g the ba$# of y ha!d, su$h a! old fashio!ed, s"eet gesture% =y heart leaps i!to y
outh%
GTha!# you for this "ee#e!d, &!astasia% 8ts bee!L the best% Wed!esdayI 8ll pi$# you up
fro "or#, fro "here*erIH he says softly%
GWed!esday,H 8 "hisper%
3e #isses y ha!d agai! a!d pla$es it ba$# i! y lap% 3e $libs out, $oes rou!d to y side,
a!d ope!s the passe!ger door% Why do 8 feel sudde!ly bereftI & lup fors i! y throat% 8 ust !ot
let hi see e li#e this% Fi1i!g a sile o! y fa$e, 8 $laber out of the $ar a!d head up the path,
#!o"i!g 8 ha*e to fa$e Eate, dreadi!g fa$i!g Eate% 8 tur! a!d gaFe at hi id"ay% Chi! up Steele, 8
$hide yself%
G/hL by the "ay, 8 "eari!g your u!der"ear%H 8 gi*e hi a sall sile a!d pull up the
"aistba!d of the bo1er briefs 8 "eari!g so he $a! see% Christia!s outh drops ope!, sho$#ed%
What a great rea$tio!% =y ood shifts iediately, a!d 8 sashay i!to the house, part of e "a!ti!g
to @up a!d pu!$h the air% )8%& =y i!!er goddess is thrilled%
Eate is i! the li*i!g area pa$#i!g up her boo#s i!to $rates%
GJoure ba$#% Wheres Christia!I 3o" are youIH 3er *oi$e is fe*ered, a!1ious, a!d she
bou!ds up to e, grabbi!g y shoulders, i!utely a!alyFi!g y fa$e before 8*e e*e! said hello%
Crap L 8 ha*e to deal "ith Eates persiste!$e a!d te!a$ity, a!d 8 i! possessio! of a legal
sig!ed do$ue!t sayi!g 8 $a!t tal#% 8ts !ot a healthy i1%
GWell ho" "as itI 8 $ould!t stop thi!#i!g about you, after Elliot left, that is%H She gri!s
is$hie*ously%
8 $a!t help but sile at her $o!$er! a!d her bur!i!g $uriosity, but sudde!ly 8 feel shy%
8 blush% 8t "as *ery pri*ate% &ll of it% Seei!g a!d #!o"i!g "hat Christia! has to hide% 0ut 8
ha*e to gi*e her soe details, be$ause she "o!t lea*e e alo!e u!til 8 do%
G8t "as good, Eate% Aery good, 8 thi!#,H 8 say Buietly, tryi!g to hide y ebarrassed tell9all
sile%
GJou thi!#IH
G8*e got !othi!g to $opare it to, do 8IH 8 shrug apologeti$ally%
G<id he a#e you $oeIH
3oly $rap% Shes so blu!t% 8 go s$arlet%
GJes,H 8 uble, e1asperated%
Eate pulls e to the $ou$h a!d "e sit% She $lasps y ha!ds%
GThat is good%H Eate loo#s at e i! disbelief% G8t "as your first tie% Wo", Christia! ust
really #!o" "hat hes doi!g%H
Oh !ate if only you (new.
G=y first tie "as horrid,H she $o!ti!ues, a#i!g a sad $oedy fa$e%
G/hIH This has e i!terested, soethi!g shes !e*er di*ulged before%
GJes, Ste*e .ato!% 3igh s$hool, di$#less @o$#%H She shudders% G3e "as rough% 8 "as!t ready%
We "ere both dru!#% Jou #!o" C typi$al tee!age post9pro disaster% 5gh
C it too# e o!ths before 8 de$ided to ha*e a!other go% &!d !ot "ith hi, the gutless
"o!der% 8 "as too you!g% Jou "ere right to "ait%H
GEate, that sou!ds a"ful%H
Eate loo#s "istful%
GJeah, too# alost a year to ha*e y first orgas through pe!etrati*e se1 a!d here you areL
first tieIH
8 !od shyly% =y i!!er goddess sits i! the lotus positio! loo#i!g sere!e e1$ept for the sly, self9
$o!gratulatory sile o! her fa$e%
G8 glad you lost it to soeo!e "ho #!o"s their ass fro their elbo"%H She "i!#s at e% GSo
"he! are you seei!g hi agai!IH
GWed!esday% Were ha*i!g di!!er%H
GSo you still li#e hiIH
GJes% 0ut 8 do!t #!o" aboutL the future%H
GWhyIH
G3es $opli$ated, Eate% Jou #!o" C he i!habits a *ery differe!t "orld to i!e%H
>reat e1$use% 0elie*able too% =u$h better tha! C he*s got a Red Room of /ain and he wants
to ma(e me his se< sla6e.
G/h please, do!t let this be about o!ey, &!a% Elliot said its *ery u!usual for Christia! to
date a!yo!e%H
G<id heIH =y *oi$e hit$hes up se*eral o$ta*es%
1oo o,6ious %teele& =y sub$o!s$ious glares at e, "aggi!g her lo!g s#i!!y fi!ger, the!
orphs i!to the s$ales of @usti$e to rei!d e he $ould sue if 8 dis$lose too u$h%
7a0 what*s he going to do 2 ta(e all my money. 8 ust reeber to >oogle -penalties for
,reaching a non;disclosure agreement* "hile 8 doi!g the rest of y Mresear$h% 8ts li#e 8*e
bee! gi*e! a s$hool assig!e!t% =aybe 8ll be graded% 8 flush, reeberi!g y & for this
or!i!gs bath e1perie!t%
G&!a, "hat is itIH
G8 @ust reeberi!g soethi!g Christia! said%H
GJou loo# differe!t,H Eate says fo!dly%
G8 feel differe!t% Sore,H 8 $o!fess%
GSoreIH
G& little%H 8 flush%
G=e too% =e!,H she says i! o$# disgust% GTheyre a!ials%H We both laugh%
GJoure soreIH 8 e1$lai%
GJesL o*eruse%H
8 giggle%
GTell e about Elliot the o*er9user,H 8 as# "he! 8*e stopped giggli!g% /h, 8 $a! feel yself
rela1i!g for the first tie si!$e 8 "as i! li!e at the barL before the pho!e $all that started all this C
"he! 8 "as adiri!g =r% >rey fro afar% 3appy u!$opli$ated days%
Eate blushes% Oh my L Eatheri!e &g!es Ea*a!agh goes all &!astasia Dose Steele o! e%
She gi*es e a de"y9eyed loo#% 8*e !e*er see! her rea$t this "ay to a a! before%
=y @a" drops to the floor% #here*s !ate what ha6e you done with her.
G/h, &!a,H she gushes% G3es @ust soL E*erythi!g% &!d "he! "eL ohL really good%H She
$a! hardly stri!g a se!te!$e together shes got it so bad%
G8 thi!# youre tryi!g to tell e that you li#e hi%H
She !ods, gri!!i!g li#e a lu!ati$%
G&!d 8 seei!g hi o! Saturday% 3es goi!g to help us o*e%H She $lasps her ha!ds
together, leaps up off the $ou$h, a!d pirouettes to the "i!do"% =o*i!g% Crap C 8d forgotte! all
about that, e*e! "ith the pa$#i!g $ases surrou!di!g us%
GThats helpful of hi,H 8 say appre$iati*ely% 8 $a! get to #!o" hi too% .erhaps he $a! gi*e
e ore i!sight i!to his stra!ge, disturbi!g brother%
GSo "hat did you do last !ightIH 8 as#% She $o$#s her head at e a!d raises her eyebro"s i! a
"hat9do9thi!#9stupid9loo#%
G.retty u$h "hat you did, though "e had di!!er first%H She gri!s at e% G&re you o#ay
reallyI Jou loo# #i!d of o*er"heled%H
G8 feel o*er"heled% Christia! is *ery i!te!se%H
GJeah, 8 $ould see ho" he $ould be% 0ut he "as good to youIH
GJes,H 8 reassure her% G8 really hu!gry, shall 8 $oo#IH
She !ods a!d pi$#s up t"o ore boo#s to pa$#%
GWhat do you "a!t to do "ith the fourtee! thousa!d dollar boo#sIH she as#s%
G8 goi!g to retur! the to hi%H
GDeallyIH
G8ts a $opletely o*er9the9top gift% 8 $a!t a$$ept it, espe$ially !o"%H 8 gri! at Eate, a!d she
!ods%
G8 u!dersta!d% & $ouple of letters $ae for you, a!d JosNO222P has bee! $alli!g e*ery hour o!
the hour% 3e sou!ded desperate%H
G8ll $all hi,H 8 utter e*asi*ely% 8f 8 tell Eate about JosNO222P, shell ha*e hi for
brea#fast% 8 $olle$t the letters fro the di!i!g table a!d ope! the%
G3ey, 8 ha*e i!ter*ie"sK The "ee# after !e1t, i! Seattle, for i!ter! pla$ee!tsKH
GFor "hi$h publishi!g houseIH
GFor both of theKH
G8 told you your >.& "ould ope! doors, &!a%H
Eate, of $ourse, already has a! i!ter!ship set up at the Seattle Ties% 3er father #!o"s
soeo!e, "ho #!o"s soeo!e%
G3o" does Elliot feel about you goi!g a"ayIH 8 as#%
Eate "a!ders i!to the #it$he!, a!d for the first tie this e*e!i!g, shes dis$o!solate%
G3es u!dersta!di!g% .art of e does!t "a!t to go, but its tepti!g to lie i! the su! for a
$ouple of "ee#s% 0esides, =o is ha!gi!g i! there, thi!#i!g this "ill be our last real faily holiday
before Etha! a!d 8 head off i!to the "orld of paid eploye!t%H
8 ha*e !e*er left $o!ti!e!tal 5S% Eate is off to 0arbados "ith her pare!ts a!d her brother
Etha! for t"o "hole "ee#s% 8ll be Eateless i! our !e" aparte!t% That "ill be "eird% Etha! has
bee! tra*eli!g the "orld si!$e he graduated last year% 8 "o!der briefly if 8ll see hi before they go
o! *a$atio!% 3es su$h a lo*ely guy% The pho!e ri!gs, @olti!g e fro y re*erie%
GThatll be JosNO222P%H
8 sigh% 8 #!o" 8 ha*e to tal# to hi% 8 grab the pho!e%
G3i%H
G&!a, youre ba$#KH JosNO222P shouts his relief at e%
G/b*iously%H Sar$as drips fro y *oi$e, a!d 8 roll y eyes at the pho!e%
3es sile!t for a oe!t%
GCa! 8 see youI 8 sorry about Friday !ight% 8 "as dru!#L a!d youL "ell% &!a C
please forgi*e e%H
G/f $ourse, 8 forgi*e you JosNO222P% Just do!t do it agai!% Jou #!o" 8 do!t feel li#e that
about you%H
3e sighs hea*ily, sadly%
G8 #!o", &!a% 8 @ust thought, if 8 #issed you, it ight $ha!ge ho" you feel%H
GJosNO222P, 8 lo*e you dearly, you ea! so u$h to e% Joure li#e the brother 8 !e*er had%
Thats !ot goi!g to $ha!ge% Jou #!o" that%H 8 hate to let hi do"!, but its the truth%
GSo youre "ith hi !o"IH 3is to!e is full of disdai!%
GJosNO222P, 8 !ot "ith a!ybody%H
G0ut you spe!t the !ight "ith hi%H
GThats !o!e of your busi!essKH
G8s it the o!eyIH
GJosNO222PK 3o" dare youKH 8 shout, staggered by his auda$ity%
G&!a,H he "hi!es a!d apologiFes siulta!eously% 8 $a!!ot deal "ith his petty @ealousy !o"% 8
#!o" hes hurt, but y plate is o*erflo"i!g deali!g "ith Christia! >rey%
G=aybe "e $a! ha*e a $offee or soethi!g toorro"% 8ll $all you%H 8 a $o!$iliatory%
3e is y frie!d, a!d 8 *ery fo!d of hi% 0ut right !o", 8 do!t !eed this%
GToorro" the!% Joull $allIH The hope i! his *oi$e t"ists y heart%
GJesL good!ight, JosNO222P%H 8 ha!g up, !ot "aiti!g for his respo!se%
GWhat "as that all aboutIH Eatheri!e dea!ds, her ha!ds o! her hips% 8 de$ide ho!esty is the
poli$y% Shes loo#i!g ore i!tra$table tha! e*er%
G3e ade a pass at e o! Friday%H
GJosNO222PI And Christia! >reyI &!a, your pheroo!es ust be "or#i!g o*ertie% What
"as the stupid fool thi!#i!gIH She sha#es her head i! disgust a!d retur!s to pa$#i!g $rates%
Forty9fi*e i!utes later, "e pause our pa$#i!g for the house spe$ialty, y lasag!a%
Eate ope!s a bottle of "i!e, a!d "e sit ao!gst the bo1es eati!g, Buaffi!g $heap red "i!e,
a!d "at$hi!g $rap TA% This is !orality% 8ts so grou!di!g a!d "el$oe after the last forty9eight
hours ofL ad!ess% 8 eat y first u!hurried, !o !aggi!g, pea$eful eal i! that tie% #hat is it
a,out him and food. Eate $lears the dishes, a!d 8 fi!ish pa$#i!g up the li*i!g roo% We are left
"ith the $ou$h, the TA, a!d the di!i!g table% What ore $ould "e !eedI Just the #it$he! a!d our
bedroos left to pa$# up, a!d "e ha*e the rest of the "ee#% Result&
The pho!e ri!gs agai!% 8ts Elliot% Eate "i!#s at e a!d s#ips off to her bedroo li#e shes
fourtee!% 8 #!o" that she should be "riti!g her Aaledi$toria! spee$h, but it sees Elliot is ore
iporta!t% What is it about the >rey e!I What is it that a#es the totally distra$ti!g, all9
$o!sui!g, a!d irresistibleI 8 ta#e a!other slug of "i!e%
8 fli$# through the TA $ha!!els, but deep do"! 8 #!o" 8 pro$rasti!ati!g% 0ur!i!g a bright
red hole i! the side of y purse is that $o!tra$t% <o 8 ha*e the stre!gth a!d the "here"ithal to read
it to!ightI
8 put y head i! y ha!ds% JosNO222P a!d Christia!, they both "a!t soethi!g fro e%
JosNO222P is easy to deal "ith% 0ut Christia!L Christia! ta#es a "hole differe!t league of
ha!dli!g, of u!dersta!di!g% .art of e "a!ts to ru! a!d hide% What a 8 goi!g to doI 3is bur!i!g
gray eyes a!d that i!te!se solderi!g stare $oe i!to y i!ds eye, a!d y body tighte!s at the
thought% 8 gasp% 3es !ot e*e! here, a!d 8 tur!ed o!% 8t @ust $a!t be about se1, $a! itI 8 re$all his
ge!tle ba!ter this or!i!g at brea#fast, his @oy at y delight "ith the heli$opter ride, hi playi!g
the pia!o C the s"eet soulful oh9so9sad usi$%
3es su$h a $opli$ated perso!% &!d !o" 8 ha*e a! i!sight as to "hy% & you!g a! depri*ed
of his adoles$e!$e, se1ually abused by soe e*il =rs% Dobi!so! figureL !o "o!der hes old before
his tie% =y heart fills "ith sad!ess at the thought of "hat he ust ha*e bee! through% 8 too
!aNO22'P*e to #!o" e1a$tly "hat, but the resear$h should shed soe light% 0ut do 8 really "a!t to
#!o"I <o 8 "a!t to e1plore this "orld 8 #!o" !othi!g aboutI
8ts su$h a big step%
8f 8d !ot et hi, 8d still be s"eetly a!d blissfully obli*ious% =y i!d drifts to last !ight,
a!d this or!i!gL a!d the i!$redible, se!sual se1uality 8*e e1perie!$ed% <o 8 "a!t to say
goodbye to thatI "o& S$reas y sub$o!s$iousL y i!!er goddess !ods i! sile!t Fe!9li#e
agreee!t "ith her%
Eate "a!ders ba$# i!to the li*i!g roo, gri!!i!g fro ear to ear% /erhaps she*s in lo6e C 8
gape at her% Shes !e*er beha*ed li#e this%
G&!a, 8 off to bed% 8 pretty tired%H
G=e too, Eate%H
She hugs e%
G8 glad youre ba$# i! o!e pie$e% Theres soethi!g about Christia!,H she adds Buietly,
apologeti$ally% 8 gi*e her a sall, reassuri!g sile C all the "hile thi!#i!gL 7ow the hell does she
(now. This is "hat "ill a#e her a great @our!alist, her u!falteri!g i!tuitio!%
Colle$ti!g y purse, 8 "a!der listlessly i!to y bedroo% 8 a "eary fro all our $ar!al
e1ertio!s of the last day a!d fro the $oplete a!d utter dilea that 8 fa$ed "ith% 8 sit o! y
bed a!d gi!gerly e1tra$t the a!ila e!*elope fro the bag, tur!i!g it o*er a!d o*er i! y ha!ds% <o
8 really "a!t to #!o" the e1te!t of Christia!s depra*ityI 8ts so dau!ti!g% 8 ta#e a deep breath, a!d
"ith y heart i! y throat, 8 rip ope! the e!*elope%
There are se*eral papers i!side the e!*elope% 8 fish the out, y heart still pou!di!g, a!d 8 sit
ba$# o! y bed a!d begi! to read%
#ON$RA#$
=ade this dayTTTTTTTTT of 2011 ,GThe Coe!$ee!t <ateH-
%E$EEN
=D% C3D8ST8&+ >DEJ of 201 Es$ala, Seattle, W& ')))'
,GThe <oi!a!tH-
=8SS &+&ST&S8& STEELE of 111S SW >ree! Street, &parte!t 7, 3a*e! 3eights,
Aa!$ou*er, W& '))))
,GThe Subissi*eH-
$HE &AR$'ES A(REE AS )OLLOS
1 The follo"i!g are the ters of a bi!di!g $o!tra$t bet"ee! the <oi!a!t a!d the
Subissi*e%
)UN"A*EN$AL $ER*S
2 The fu!dae!tal purpose of this $o!tra$t is to allo" the Subissi*e to e1plore her
se!suality a!d her liits safely, "ith due respe$t a!d regard for her !eeds, her liits a!d her
"ellbei!g%
2 The <oi!a!t a!d the Subissi*e agree a!d a$#!o"ledge that all that o$$urs u!der the
ters of this $o!tra$t "ill be $o!se!sual, $o!fide!tial, a!d sub@e$t to the agreed liits a!d safety
pro$edures set out i! this $o!tra$t% &dditio!al liits a!d safety pro$edures ay be agreed i!
"riti!g%
S The <oi!a!t a!d the Subissi*e ea$h "arra!t that they suffer fro !o se1ual, serious,
i!fe$tious or life9threate!i!g ill!esses i!$ludi!g but !ot liited to 38A, 3er9pes a!d 3epatitis% 8f
duri!g the Ter ,as defi!ed belo"- or a!y e1te!ded ter of this $o!tra$t either party should be
diag!osed "ith or be$oe a"are of a!y su$h ill!ess he or she u!derta#es to i!for the other
iediately a!d i! a!y e*e!t prior to a!y for of physi$al $o!ta$t bet"ee! the parties%
4 &dhere!$e to the abo*e "arra!ties, agreee!ts a!d u!derta#i!gs ,a!d a!y additio!al liits
a!d safety pro$edures agreed u!der $lause 2 abo*e- are fu!dae!tal to this $o!tra$t% &!y brea$h
shall re!der it *oid "ith iediate effe$t a!d ea$h party agrees to be fully respo!sible to the other
for the $o!seBue!$e of a!y brea$h%
( E*erythi!g i! this $o!tra$t ust be read a!d i!terpreted i! the light of the fu!dae!tal
purpose a!d the fu!dae!tal ters set out i! $lauses 294 abo*e%
ROLES
7 The <oi!a!t shall ta#e respo!sibility for the "ellbei!g a!d the proper trai!i!g, guida!$e,
a!d dis$ipli!e of the Subissi*e% 3e shall de$ide the !ature of su$h trai!i!g, guida!$e, a!d
dis$ipli!e a!d the tie a!d pla$e of its adi!istratio!, sub@e$t to the agreed ters, liitatio!s a!d
safety pro$edures set out i! this $o!tra$t or agreed additio!ally u!der $lause 2 abo*e%
) 8f at a!y tie the <oi!a!t should fail to #eep to the agreed ters, liitatio!s a!d safety
pro$edures set out i! this $o!tra$t or agreed additio!ally u!der $lause 2 abo*e the Subissi*e is
e!titled to teri!ate this $o!tra$t forth"ith a!d to lea*e the ser*i$e of the <oi!a!t "ithout !oti$e%
' Sub@e$t to that pro*iso a!d to $lauses 294 abo*e the Subissi*e is to ser*e a!d obey the
<oi!a!t i! all thi!gs% Sub@e$t to the agreed ters, liitatio!s a!d safety pro$edures set out i! this
$o!tra$t or agreed additio!ally u!der $lause 2 abo*e she shall "ithout Buery or hesitatio! offer the
<oi!a!t su$h pleasure as he ay reBuire a!d she shall a$$ept "ithout Buery or hesitatio! his
trai!i!g, guida!$e a!d dis$ipli!e i! "hate*er for it ay ta#e%
#O**EN#E*EN$ AN" $ER*
10 The <oi!a!t a!d Subissi*e e!ter i!to this $o!tra$t o! The Coe!$ee!t <ate fully
a"are of its !ature a!d u!derta#e to abide by its $o!ditio!s "ithout e1$eptio!%
11 This $o!tra$t shall be effe$ti*e for a period of three Cale!dar =o!ths fro The
Coe!$ee!t <ate ,GThe TerH-% /! the e1piry of The Ter the parties shall dis$uss "hether
this $o!tra$t a!d the arra!gee!ts they ha*e ade u!der this $o!tra$t are satisfa$tory a!d "hether
the !eeds of ea$h party ha*e bee! et% Either party ay propose the e1te!sio! of this $o!tra$t
sub@e$t to ad@uste!ts to its ters, or to the arra!gee!ts they ha*e ade u!der it% 8! the abse!$e
of agreee!t to su$h e1te!sio! this $o!tra$t shall teri!ate a!d both parties shall be free to resue
their li*es separately%
A+A'LA%'L'$,
12 The Subissi*e "ill a#e herself a*ailable to the <oi!a!t fro Friday e*e!i!gs through
to Su!day after!oo!s ea$h "ee# duri!g the Ter at ties to be spe$ified by the <oi!a!t ,Gthe
&llotted TiesH-% Further allo$ated tie $a! be utually agreed o! a! ad ho$ basis%
12 The <oi!a!t reser*es the right to disiss the Subissi*e fro his ser*i$e at a!y tie
a!d for a!y reaso!% The Subissi*e ay reBuest her release at a!y tie, su$h reBuest to be gra!ted
at the dis$retio! of the <oi!a!t sub@e$t o!ly to the Subissi*es rights u!der $lauses 294 a!d )
abo*e%
LO#A$'ON
1S The Subissi*e "ill a#e herself a*ailable duri!g the &llotted Ties a!d agreed
additio!al ties at lo$atio!s to be deteri!ed by the <oi!a!t% The <oi!a!t "ill e!sure that all
tra*el $osts i!$urred by the Subissi*e for that purpose are et by the <oi!a!t%
SER+'#E &RO+'S'ONS
14 The follo"i!g ser*i$e pro*isio!s ha*e bee! dis$ussed a!d agreed a!d "ill be ad9hered to
by both parties duri!g the Ter% 0oth parties a$$ept that $ertai! atters ay arise "hi$h are !ot
$o*ered by the ters of this $o!tra$t or the ser*i$e pro*isio!s, or that $ertai! atters ay be
re!egotiated% 8! su$h $ir$usta!$e further $lauses ay be proposed by "ay of ae!de!t% &!y
further $lauses or ae!de!ts ust be agreed, do$ue!ted a!d sig!ed by both parties a!d shall be
sub@e$t to the fu!dae!tal ters set out at $lauses 294 abo*e%
</=8+&+T
14%1 The <oi!a!t shall a#e the Subissi*es health a!d safety a priority at all ties% The
<oi!a!t shall !ot at a!y tie reBuire, reBuest, allo" or dea!d the Subissi*e to parti$ipate at
the ha!ds of the <oi!a!t i! the a$ti*ities detailed i! &ppe!di1 2 or i! a!y a$t that either party
dees to be u!safe% The <oi!a!t "ill !ot u!derta#e or perit to be u!derta#e! a!y a$tio! "hi$h
$ould $ause serious i!@ury or a!y ris# to the Subissi*es life% The reai!i!g sub9$lauses of this
$lause 14 are to be read sub@e$t to this pro*iso a!d to the fu!dae!tal atters agreed i! $lauses 294
abo*e%
14%2 The <oi!a!t a$$epts the Subissi*e as his, to o"!, $o!trol, doi!ate a!d dis$ipli!e
duri!g the Ter% The <oi!a!t ay use the Subissi*es body at a!y tie duri!g the &llotted
Ties or a!y agreed additio!al ties i! a!y a!!er he dees fit, se1ually or other"ise%
14%2 The <oi!a!t shall pro*ide the Subissi*e "ith all !e$essary trai!i!g a!d guida!$e i!
ho" to properly ser*e the <oi!a!t%
14%S The <oi!a!t shall ai!tai! a stable a!d safe e!*iro!e!t i! "hi$h the Subissi*e
ay perfor her duties i! ser*i$e of the <oi!a!t%
14%4 The <oi!a!t ay dis$ipli!e the Subissi*e as !e$essary to e!sure the Subissi*e
fully appre$iates her role of subser*ie!$e to the <oi!a!t a!d to dis$ourage u!a$$eptable $o!du$t%
The <oi!a!t ay flog, spa!#, "hip or $orporally pu!ish the Subissi*e as he sees fit, for
purposes of dis$ipli!e, for his o"! perso!al e!@oye!t, or for a!y other reaso!, "hi$h he is !ot
obliged to pro*ide%
14%( 8! trai!i!g a!d i! the adi!istratio! of dis$ipli!e the <oi!a!t shall e!sure that !o
pera!e!t ar#s are ade upo! the Subissi*es body !or a!y i!@uries i!$urred that ay reBuire
edi$al atte!tio!%
14%7 8! trai!i!g a!d i! the adi!istratio! of dis$ipli!e the <oi!a!t shall e!sure that the
dis$ipli!e a!d the i!strue!ts used for the purposes of dis$ipli!e are safe, shall !ot be used i! su$h
a "ay as to $ause serious har a!d shall !ot i! a!y "ay e1$eed the liits defi!ed a!d detailed i!
this $o!tra$t%
14%) 8! $ase of ill!ess or i!@ury the <oi!a!t shall $are for the Subissi*e, seei!g to her
health a!d safety, e!$ouragi!g a!d "he! !e$essary orderi!g edi$al atte!tio! "he! it is @udged
!e$essary by the <oi!a!t%
14%' The <oi!a!t shall ai!tai! his o"! good health a!d see# edi$al atte!tio! "he!
!e$essary i! order to ai!tai! a ris#9free e!*iro!e!t 14%10 The <oi!a!t shall !ot loa! his
Subissi*e to a!other <oi!a!t%
14%11 The <oi!a!t ay restrai!, ha!d$uff, or bi!d the Subissi*e at a!y tie duri!g the
&llotted Ties or a!y agreed additio!al ties for a!y reaso! a!d for e1te!ded periods of tie,
gi*i!g due regard to the health a!d safety of the Subissi*e%
14%12 The <oi!a!t "ill e!sure that all eBuipe!t used for the purposes of trai!i!g a!d
dis$ipli!e shall be ai!tai!ed i! a $lea!, hygie!i$ a!d safe state at all ties%
%59MI%%ID8
14%12 The Subissi*e a$$epts the <oi!a!t as her aster, "ith the u!dersta!di!g that she is
!o" the property of the <oi!a!t, to be dealt "ith as the <oi!a!t pleases duri!g the Ter
ge!erally but spe$ifi$ally duri!g the &llotted Ties a!d a!y additio!al agreed allotted ties%
14%1S The Subissi*e shall obey the rules ,Gthe DulesH- set out i! &ppe!di1 1 to this
agreee!t%
14%14 The Subissi*e shall ser*e the <oi!a!t i! a!y "ay the <oi!a!t sees fit a!d shall
e!dea*or to please the <oi!a!t at all ties to the best of her ability%
14%1( The Subissi*e shall ta#e all easures !e$essary to ai!tai! her good health a!d shall
reBuest or see# edi$al atte!tio! "he!e*er it is !eeded, #eepi!g the <oi!a!t i!fored at all ties
of a!y health issues that ay arise%
14%17 The Subissi*e "ill e!sure that she pro$ures oral $o!tra$eptio! a!d e!sure that she
ta#es it as a!d "he! pres$ribed to pre*e!t a!y preg!a!$y%
14%1) The Subissi*e shall a$$ept "ithout Buestio! a!y a!d all dis$ipli!ary a$tio!s deeed
!e$essary by the <oi!a!t a!d reeber her status a!d role i! regard to the <oi!a!t at all ties%
14%1' The Subissi*e shall !ot tou$h or pleasure herself se1ually "ithout perissio! fro
the <oi!a!t%
14%20 The Subissi*e shall subit to a!y se1ual a$ti*ity dea!ded by the <oi!a!t a!d
shall do "ithout hesitatio! or argue!t%
14%21 The Subissi*e shall a$$ept "hippi!gs, floggi!gs, spa!#i!gs, $a!i!g, paddli!g or a!y
other dis$ipli!e the <oi!a!t should de$ide to adi!ister, "ithout hesitatio!, e!Buiry or $oplai!t%
14%22 The Subissi*e shall !ot loo# dire$tly i!to the eyes of the <oi!a!t e1$ept "he!
spe$ifi$ally i!stru$ted to do so% The Subissi*e shall #eep her eyes $ast do"! a!d ai!tai! a Buiet
a!d respe$tful beari!g i! the prese!$e of the <oi!a!t%
14%22 The Subissi*e shall al"ays $o!du$t herself i! a respe$tful a!!er to the <oi!a!t
a!d shall address hi o!ly as Sir, =r% >rey, or su$h other title as the <oi!a!t ay dire$t%
14%2S The Subissi*e "ill !ot tou$h the <oi!a!t "ithout his e1press perissio! to do so%
A#$'+'$'ES
1( The Subissi*e shall !ot parti$ipate i! a$ti*ities or a!y se1ual a$ts that either party dees
to be u!safe or a!y a$ti*ities detailed i! &ppe!di1 2%
17 The <oi!a!t a!d the Subissi*e ha*e dis$ussed the a$ti*ities set out i! &ppe!di1 2 a!d
re$orded i! "riti!g o! &ppe!di1 2 their agreee!t i! respe$t of the%
SA)EOR"S
1) The <oi!a!t a!d the Subissi*e re$og!iFe that the <oi!a!t ay a#e dea!ds of the
Subissi*e that $a!!ot be et "ithout i!$urri!g physi$al, e!tal, eotio!al, spiritual, or other
har at the tie the dea!ds are ade to the Subissi*e% 8! su$h $ir$usta!$es related to this, the
Subissi*e ay a#e use of a safe"ord ,GThe Safe"ord ,s-H-% T"o Safe"ords "ill be i!*o#ed
depe!di!g o! the se*erity of the dea!ds%
1' The Safe"ord GJello"H "ill be used to bri!g to the atte!tio! of the <oi!a!t that the
Subissi*e is $lose to her liit of e!dura!$e%
20 The Safe"ord GDedH "ill be used to bri!g to the atte!tio! of the <oi!a!t that the
Subissi*e $a!!ot tolerate a!y further dea!ds% Whe! this "ord is said the <oi!a!ts a$tio! "ill
$ease $opletely "ith iediate effe$t%
#ON#LUS'ON
21 We the u!dersig!ed ha*e read a!d u!derstood fully the pro*isio!s of this $o!tra$t%
We freely a$$ept the ters of this $o!tra$t a!d ha*e a$#!o"ledged this by our sig!a9tures
belo"%
TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
The <oi!a!t: Christia! >rey
<ate
TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
The Subissi*e: &!astasia Steele
<ate
A&&EN"'- .
RULES
Obedience:
The Subissi*e "ill obey a!y i!stru$tio!s gi*e! by the <oi!a!t iediately "ithout
hesitatio! or reser*atio! a!d i! a! e1peditious a!!er% The Subissi*e "ill agree to a!y se1ual
a$ti*ity deeed fit a!d pleasurable by the <oi!a!t e1$epti!g those a$ti*ities "hi$h are outli!ed i!
hard liits ,&ppe!di1 2-% She "ill do so eagerly a!d "ithout hesitatio!%
Sleep:
The Subissi*e "ill e!sure she a$hie*es a i!iu of eight hours sleep a !ight "he! she is
!ot "ith the <oi!a!t%
Food:
The Subissi*e "ill eat regularly to ai!tai! her health a!d "ellbei!g fro a pres$ribed list
of foods ,&ppe!di1 S-% The Subissi*e "ill !ot s!a$# bet"ee! eals, "ith the e1$eptio! of fruit%
Clothes:
<uri!g the Ter the Subissi*e "ill "ear $lothi!g o!ly appro*ed by the <oi!a!t%
The <oi!a!t "ill pro*ide a $lothi!g budget for the Subissi*e, "hi$h the Subissi*e shall
utiliFe% The <oi!a!t shall a$$opa!y the Subissi*e to pur$hase $lothi!g o! a! ad ho$ basis% 8f
the <oi!a!t so reBuires the Subissi*e shall duri!g the Ter "ear ador!e!ts the <oi!a!t
shall reBuire, i! the prese!$e of the <oi!a!t a!d a!y other tie the <oi!a!t dees fit%
8<erciseF
The <oi!a!t shall pro*ide the Subissi*e "ith a perso!al trai!er four ties a "ee# i! hour9
lo!g sessio!s at ties to be utually agreed bet"ee! the perso!al trai!er a!d the Subissi*e% The
perso!al trai!er "ill report to the <oi!a!t o! the Subissi*es progress%
.erso!al 3ygie!e?0eauty:
The Subissi*e "ill #eep herself $lea! a!d sha*ed a!d?or "a1ed at all ties% The Subissi*e
"ill *isit a beauty salo! of the <oi!a!ts $hoosi!g at ties to be de$ided by the <oi!a!t, a!d
u!dergo "hate*er treate!ts the <oi!a!t sees fit% &ll $osts "ill be et by the <oi!a!t%
.erso!al Safety:
The Subissi*e "ill !ot dri!# to e1$ess, so#e, ta#e re$reatio!al drugs or put herself i! a!y
u!!e$essary da!ger%
.erso!al Qualities:
The Subissi*e "ill !ot e!ter i!to a!y se1ual relatio!s "ith a!yo!e other tha! the <oi!a!t%
The Subissi*e "ill $o!du$t herself i! a respe$tful a!d odest a!!er at all ties% She ust
re$og!iFe that her beha*ior is a dire$t refle$tio! o! the <oi!a!t%
She shall be held a$$ou!table for a!y isdeeds, "ro!gdoi!gs a!d isbeha*ior $oitted
"he! !ot i! the prese!$e of the <oi!a!t%
Failure to $oply "ith a!y of the abo*e "ill result i! iediate pu!ishe!t, the !ature of
"hi$h shall be deteri!ed by the <oi!a!t%
A&&EN"'- /
Hard Limits
+o a$ts i!*ol*i!g fire play
+o a$ts i!*ol*i!g uri!atio! or defe$atio! a!d the produ$ts thereof +o a$ts i!*ol*i!g !eedles,
#!i*es, $utti!g, pier$i!g, or blood +o a$ts i!*ol*i!g gy!e$ologi$al edi$al i!strue!ts
+o a$ts i!*ol*i!g $hildre! or a!ials
+o a$ts that "ill lea*e a!y pera!e!t ar#s o! the s#i!
+o a$ts i!*ol*i!g breath $o!trol%
+o a$ti*ity that i!*ol*es the dire$t $o!ta$t of ele$tri$ $urre!t ,"hether alter!ati!g or dire$t-,
fire or flaes to the body%
A&&EN"'- 0
Soft Limits
To be dis$ussed a!d agreed bet"ee! both parties:
Whi$h of the follo"i!g se1ual a$ts are a$$eptable to the Subissi*eI
U =asturbatio!
U Fellatio
U Cu!!ili!gus
U Aagi!al i!ter$ourse
U Aagi!al fisti!g
U &!al i!ter$ourse
U &!al fisti!g
8s s"allo"i!g see! a$$eptable to the Subissi*eI
8s the use of se1 toys a$$eptable to the Subissi*eI
U Aibrators
U <ildos
U 0utt .lugs
U /ther
8s 0o!dage a$$eptable to the Subissi*eI
U 3a!ds i! fro!t
U 3a!ds behi!d ba$#
U &!#les
U E!ees
U Elbo"s
U Wrists to a!#les
U Spreader bars
U Tied to fur!iture
U 0li!dfoldi!g
U >aggi!g
U 0o!dage "ith Dope
U 0o!dage "ith Tape
U 0o!dage "ith leather $uffs
U Suspe!sio!
U 0o!dage "ith ha!d$uffs?etal restrai!ts
What is the Subissi*es ge!eral attitude about re$ei*i!g pai!I Where 1 is li#es i!te!sely a!d
4 is disli#es i!te!sely: 1 C 2 C 2 C S C 4
3o" u$h pai! does the subissi*e "a!t to re$ei*eI Where 1 is !o!e a!d 4 is se*ere: 1 C 2 C
2 C S C 4
Whi$h of the follo"i!g types of pai!?pu!ishe!t?dis$ipli!e are a$$eptable to the Subissi*eI
U Spa!#i!g
U .addli!g
U Whippi!g
U Ca!i!g
U 0iti!g
U +ipple $laps
U >e!ital $laps
U 8$e
U 3ot "a1
U /ther types?ethods of pai!
3oly Fu$#% 8 $a!t bri!g yself to e*e! $o!sider the food list% 8 s"allo" hard, y outh dry,
a!d read it agai!%
=y head is buFFi!g% 3o" $a! 8 possibly agree to all thisI &!d appare!tly its for y be!efit,
to e<plore my sensuality my limits 2 safely 2 oh pleaseK 8 s$off a!grily% %er6e and o,ey in all
things. &ll Thi!gsK 8 sha#e y head i! disbelief% &$tually, does!t the arriage $ereo!y use
those "ordsL o,ey. This thro"s e% <o $ouples still say thatI /!ly three o!ths, is that "hy
there ha*e bee! so a!yI 3e does!t #eep the for lo!gI /r ha*e they had e!ough after three
o!thsI 86ery wee(end. Thats too u$h% 8ll !e*er see Eate or "hate*er frie!ds 8 ay a#e at
y !e" @ob C pro*ided 8 get o!e% .erhaps 8 should ha*e o!e "ee#e!d a o!th to yself% .erhaps
"he! 8 ha*e y period, that sou!dsL pra$ti$al%
3es y asterK To be dealt "ith as he pleasesK 7oly shit.
8 shudder at the thought of bei!g flogged or "hipped% Spa!#i!g probably "ould!t be so bad,
huiliati!g though% &!d tied upI Well he did tie y ha!ds together% That "asL
"ell it "as hot, really hot, so perhaps that "o!t be so bad% 3e "o!t loa! e to a!other
<oi!a!t C da! right he "o!t% That "ould be totally u!a$$eptable% #hy am I e6en thin(ing
a,out this.
8 $a!t loo# hi i! the eye% 7ow weird is that. The o!ly "ay 8 e*er ha*e a!y $ha!$e to see
"hat hes thi!#i!g% &$tually, "ho a 8 #iddi!g, 8 !e*er #!o" "hat hes thi!#i!g, but 8 li#e
loo#i!g i!to his eyes% 3e has beautiful eyes C $apti*ati!g, i!tellige!t, deep a!d dar#, dar# "ith
doi!a!t se$rets% 8 re$all his bur!i!g so#y gaFe a!d press y thighs together, sBuiri!g%
&!d 8 $a!t tou$h hi% Well, !o surprise there% &!d these silly rulesL +o, !o 8 $a!t do this% 8
put y head i! y ha!ds% This is !o "ay to ha*e a relatio!ship% 8 !eed soe sleep% 8 shattered%
&ll the physi$al she!a!iga!s 8*e bee! e!gaged i! o*er the last t"e!ty9four hours ha*e bee!,
fra!#ly, e1hausti!g% &!d e!tallyL oh a!, this is so u$h to ta#e o! board% &s JosNO222P "ould
say, a real i!d9fu$#% .erhaps i! the or!i!g, this ight !ot read li#e a bad @o#e%
8 s$rable up a!d $ha!ge Bui$#ly% .erhaps 8 should borro" Eates pi!# fla!!el pa@aas% 8
"a!t soethi!g $uddly a!d reassuri!g arou!d e% 8 head to the bathroo i! y t9shirt a!d sleep
shorts a!d brush y teeth%
8 stare at yself i! the bathroo irror% )ou can*t seriously ,e considering this L
=y sub$o!s$ious sou!ds sa!e a!d ratio!al, !ot her usual s!ar#y self% =y i!!er goddess is
@upi!g up a!d do"!, $lappi!g her ha!ds li#e a fi*e9year9old% /lease let*s do this0
otherwise we*ll end up alone with lots of cats and your classic no6els to (eep you company.
The o!ly a! 8*e e*er bee! attra$ted to, a!d he $oes "ith a bloody $o!tra$t, a flogger, a!d
a "hole "orld of issues% Well, at least 8 got y "ay this "ee#e!d% =y i!!er goddess stops @upi!g
a!d siles sere!ely% Oh yes L she ouths, !oddi!g at e sugly%
8 flush at the eory of his ha!ds a!d his outh o! e, his body i!side i!e% Closi!g y
eyes, 8 feel the failiar deli$ious pull of y us$les fro deep, deep do"!% 8 "a!t to do that agai!
a!d agai!% =aybe if 8 @ust sig! up for the se1L "ould he go "ith thatI 8 suspe$t !ot%
& 8 subissi*eI =aybe 8 $oe a$ross that "ay% =aybe 8 isled hi i! the i!ter*ie"% 8
shy, yesL but subissi*eI 8 let Eate bully e C is that the saeI &!d those soft liits, @eeF% =y
i!d boggles, but 8 reassured that they are up for dis$ussio!%
8 "a!der ba$# to y bedroo% This is too u$h to thi!# about% 8 !eed a $lear head C a fresh
or!i!g approa$h to the proble% 8 put the offe!di!g do$ue!ts ba$# i! y sat$hel%
Toorro"L toorro" is a!other day% Claberi!g i!to bed, 8 s"it$h off the light a!d lie
stari!g up at the $eili!g% /h, 8 "ish 8d !e*er et hi% =y i!!er goddess sha#es her head at e%
She a!d 8 #!o" its a lie% 8 ha*e !e*er felt as ali*e as 8 do !o"%
8 $lose y eyes, a!d 8 drift i!to a hea*y sleep "ith o$$asio!al dreas of four9poster beds a!d
sha$#les a!d i!te!se gray eyes%
Eate "a#es e the !e1t day%
G&!a, 8*e bee! $alli!g you% Jou ust ha*e bee! out $old%H
=y eyes relu$ta!tly ope!% Shes !ot @ust up C shes bee! for a ru!% 8 gla!$e at y alar% 8ts
eight i! the or!i!g% 3oly =oses, 8*e slept for a solid !i!e hours%
GWhat is itIH 8 uble sleepily%
GTheres a a! here "ith a deli*ery for you% Jou ha*e to sig! for it%H
GWhatIH
GCoe o!% 8ts big% 8t loo#s i!teresti!g%H She hops fro foot to foot e1$itedly a!d bou!ds ba$#
i!to the li*i!g area% 8 $laber out of bed a!d grab y dressi!g go"! ha!gi!g o! the ba$# of y
door% & sart you!g a! "ith a po!ytail is sta!di!g i! our li*i!g roo $laspi!g a large bo1%
G3i,H 8 uble%
G8ll a#e you soe tea%H Eate s$uttles off to the #it$he!%
G=iss SteeleIH
&!d 8 iediately #!o" "ho the par$el is fro%
GJes,H 8 a!s"er $autiously%
G8 ha*e a pa$#age for you here, but 8 ha*e to set it up a!d sho" you ho" to use it%H
GDeallyI &t this tieIH
G/!ly follo"i!g orders, aa%H 3e siles i! a $hari!g but professio!al hes9!ot9ta#i!g9
a!y9$rap "ay%
4id he +ust call me ma*am. 3a*e 8 aged te! years o*er!ightI 8f 8 ha*e, its that $o!tra$t% =y
outh pu$#ers i! disgust%
G/#ay, "hat is itIH
G8ts a =a$0oo# .ro%H
G/f $ourse it is%H 8 roll y eyes .
GThese are!t a*ailable i! the shops yet, aa, the *ery latest fro &pple%H
3o" $oe that does !ot surprise eI 8 sigh hea*ily%
GJust set it up o! the di!i!g table o*er there%H
8 "a!der i!to the #it$he! to @oi! Eate%
GWhat is itIH she says i!Buisiti*e, bright eyed a!d bushy tailed% Shes slept "ell too%
G8ts a laptop fro Christia!%H
GWhys he se!t you a laptopI Jou #!o" you $a! use i!e,H she fro"!s%
"ot for what he has in mind.
G/h, its o!ly o! loa!% 3e "a!ted e to try it out%H =y e1$use sou!ds feeble% 0ut Eate !ods
her asse!t% Oh my L 8 ha*e hood"i!#ed Eatheri!e Ea*a!agh% & first% She ha!ds e y tea%
The =a$ laptop is slee# a!d sil*er a!d rather beautiful% 8t has a *ery large s$ree!%
Christia! >rey li#es s$ale C 8 thi!# of his li*i!g area, i! fa$t, his "hole aparte!t%
G8ts got the latest /S a!d a full suite of progras, plus a o!e9poi!t9fi*e terabyte hard dri*e so
youll ha*e ple!ty of roo, thirty9t"o gigs of D&= C "hat are you pla!!i!g to use it forI
G5hL eail%H
GEailKH he $ho#es, beused, raisi!g his eyebro"s "ith a slightly si$# loo# o! his fa$e%G&!d
aybe 8!ter!et resear$hIH 8 shrug apologeti$ally%
3e sighs%
GWell, this has full "ireless +, a!d 8*e set it up "ith your =e a$$ou!t details% This baby is all
ready to go, pra$ti$ally a!y"here o! the pla!et%H 3e loo#s lo!gi!gly at it%
G=e a$$ou!tIH
GJour !e" eail address% E
I ha6e an email address.
3e poi!ts to a! i$o! o! the s$ree! a!d $o!ti!ues to tal# at e but its li#e "hite !oise%
8 ha*e!t got a $lue "hat hes sayi!g, a!d i! all ho!estly, 8 !ot i!terested% =ust tell me how
to switch it on and off C 8ll figure out the rest% &fter all, 8*e bee! usi!g Eates for four years% Eate
"histles, ipressed "he! she sees it%
GThis is !e1t9ge!eratio! te$h%H She raises her eyebro"s at e% G=ost "oe! get flo"ers or
aybe @e"elry,H she says suggesti*ely, tryi!g to suppress a sile%
8 s$o"l at her but $a!t #eep a straight fa$e% We both burst i!to a fit of giggles, a!d $oputer
a! gapes at us, beused% 3e fi!ishes up a!d as#s e to sig! the deli*ery !ote%
&s Eate sho"s hi out, 8 sit "ith y $up of tea, ope! the eail progra, a!d sitti!g there
"aiti!g for e is a! eail fro Christia!% =y heart leaps i!to y outh% I ha6e an email from
Christian $rey. +er*ously, 8 ope! it%

)rom: Christia! >rey
S1b2ect: Jour +e" Coputer
"ate: =ay 22 2011 22:14
$o: &!astasia Steele
<ear =iss Steele
8 trust you slept "ell% 8 hope that you put this laptop to good use, as dis$ussed%
8 loo# for"ard to di!!er, Wed!esday%
3appy to a!s"er a!y Buestio!s before the!, *ia eail, should you so desire%
Christia! >rey
CE/, >rey E!terprises 3oldi!gs 8!$%
8 hit reply%
)rom: &!astasia Steele
S1b2ect: Jour +e" Coputer ,o! loa!-
<ate: =ay 22 2011 0):20
$o: Christia! >rey
8 slept *ery "ell tha!# you C for soe stra!ge reaso! C Sir%
8 u!derstood that this $oputer "as o! loa!, ergo !ot i!e%
&!a
&lost i!sta!ta!eously there is a respo!se%
)rom: Christia! >rey
S1b2ect: Jour +e" Coputer ,o! loa!-
"ate: =ay 22 2011 0):22
$o: &!astasia Steele
The $oputer is o! loa!% 8!defi!itely, =iss Steele%
8 !ote fro your to!e that you ha*e read the do$ue!tatio! 8 ga*e you%
<o you ha*e a!y Buestio!s so farI
Christia! >rey
CE/, >rey E!terprises 3oldi!gs 8!$%
8 $a!t help but gri!%
)rom: &!astasia Steele
S1b2ect: E!Buiri!g =i!ds
"ate: =ay 22 2011 0):24
$o: Christia! >rey
8 ha*e a!y Buestio!s, but !ot suitable for eail, a!d soe of us ha*e to "or# for a li*i!g%
8 do !ot "a!t or !eed a $oputer i!defi!itely%
5!til later, good day% %ir.
&!a
3is reply agai! is i!sta!t, a!d it a#es e sile%
)rom: Christia! >rey
S1b2ect: Jour +e" Coputer ,agai! o! loa!-
"ate: =ay 22 2011 0):2(
$o: &!astasia Steele
Laters, baby%
.S: 8 "or# for a li*i!g too%
Christia! >rey
CE/, >rey E!terprises 3oldi!gs 8!$%
8 shut the $oputer do"!, gri!!i!g li#e a! idiot% 3o" $a! 8 resist playful Christia!I 8 a
goi!g to be late for "or#% Well, it is y last "ee# C =r% a!d =rs% Clayto! "ill probably $ut e
soe sla$#% 8 ra$e i!to the sho"er, u!able to sha#e y fa$e9splitti!g gri!% 7e emailed me. 8 li#e
a sall, giddy $hild% &!d all the $o!tra$t a!gst fades% &s 8 "ash y hair, 8 try a!d thi!# "hat 8 $ould
possibly as# hi *ia eail% Surely its better to tal# these thi!gs through% Suppose soeo!e ha$#ed
i!to his a$$ou!tI 8 flush at the thought% 8 dress Bui$#ly, shout a hasty goodbye to Eate, a!d 8 off
to "or# y last "ee# at Clayto!s%
JosNO222P pho!es at ele*e!%
G3ey, are "e doi!g $offeeIH 3e sou!ds li#e the old JosNO222P% JosNO222P y frie!d, !ot a C
"hat did Christia! $all hiI Suitor% 5gh%
GSure% 8 at "or#% Ca! you a#e it here for say t"el*eIH
GSee you the!%H
3e ha!gs up, a!d 8 go ba$# to resto$#i!g the pai!tbrushes a!d thi!#i!g about Christia! >rey
a!d his $o!tra$t%
JosNO222P is pu!$tual% 3e $oes bou!di!g i!to the shop li#e a gaboli!g dar#9eyed puppy%
G&!a,H he siles his daFFli!g toothy all93ispa!i$9&eri$a! sile, a!d 8 $a!t be a!gry "ith
hi a!yore%
G3i JosNO222P%H 8 hug hi% G8 star*i!g% 8ll @ust let =rs% Clayto! #!o" 8 goi!g for
lu!$h%H
&s "e stroll to the lo$al $offee shop, 8 slip y ar through JosNO222Ps% 8 so grateful for
his
C !orality% Soeo!e 8 #!o" a!d u!dersta!d%
G3ey &!a,H he ururs% GJou*e really forgi*e! eIH
GJosNO222P, you #!o" 8 $a! !e*er stay ad at you for lo!g%H
3e gri!s%
8 $a!t "ait to get hoe% The lure of eaili!g Christia!, a!d aybe 8 $a! begi! y resear$h
pro@e$t% Eate is out soe"here, so 8 fire up the !e" laptop a!d ope! y eail% Sure e!ough, theres
a! eail fro Christia! sitti!g i! the i!bo1% 8 pra$ti$ally bou!$i!g out of y seat "ith glee%
)rom: Christia! >rey
S1b2ect: Wor#i!g for a li*i!g
"ate: =ay 22 2011 17:2S
$o: &!astasia Steele
<ear =iss Steele
8 do hope you had a good day at "or#%
Christia! >rey
CE/, >rey E!terprises 3oldi!gs 8!$%
8 hit reply%
)rom: &!astasia Steele
S1b2ect: Wor#i!g for li*i!g
"ate: =ay 22 2011 17:S)
$o: Christia! >rey
%ir L 8 had a *ery good day at "or#%
Tha!# you%
&!a
)rom: Christia! >rey
S1b2ect: <o The Wor#K
"ate: =ay 22 2011 17:40
$o: &!astasia Steele
=iss Steele
<elighted you had a good day%
While you are eaili!g, you are !ot resear$hi!g%
Christia! >rey
CE/, >rey E!terprises 3oldi!gs 8!$%
)rom: &!astasia Steele
S1b2ect: +uisa!$e
"ate: =ay 22 2011 17:42
$o: Christia! >rey
=r% >rey, stop eaili!g e, a!d 8 $a! start y assig!e!t%
8d li#e a!other &%
&!a
8 hug yself%
)rom: Christia! >rey
S1b2ect: 8patie!t
"ate: =ay 22 2011 17:44
$o: &!astasia Steele
=iss Steele
Stop eaili!g me C a!d do your assig!e!t%
8d li#e to a"ard a!other &%
The first o!e "as so "ell deser*ed% P-
Christia! >rey
CE/, >rey E!terprises 3oldi!gs 8!$%
Christia! >rey @ust se!t e a "i!#i!g sileyL Oh my. 8 fire up >oogle%
)rom: &!astasia Steele
S1b2ect: 8!ter!et Desear$h
"ate: =ay 22 2011 17:4'
$o: Christia! >rey
=r% >rey
What "ould you suggest 8 put i!to a sear$h e!gi!eI
&!a
)rom: Christia! >rey
S1b2ect: 8!ter!et Desear$h
"ate: =ay 22 2011 1):02
$o: &!astasia Steele
=iss Steele
&l"ays start "ith Wi#ipedia%
+o ore eails u!less you ha*e Buestio!s% 5!derstoodI
Christia! >rey
CE/, >rey E!terprises 3oldi!gs 8!$%
)rom: &!astasia Steele
S1b2ect: 0ossyK
"ate: =ay 22 2011 1):0S
$o: Christia! >rey
JesL %ir.
Jou are so bossy%
&!a
)rom: Christia! >rey
S1b2ect: 8! Co!trol
"ate: =ay 22 2011 1):0(
$o: &!astasia Steele
&!astasia, you ha*e !o idea%
Well, aybe a! i!#li!g !o"%
<o the "or#%
Christia! >rey
CE/, >rey E!terprises 3oldi!gs 8!$%
8 type Subissi*e i!to Wi#ipedia%
3alf a! hour later, 8 feel slight Bueasy a!d fra!#ly sho$#ed to y $ore% <o 8 really "a!t this
stuff i! y headI JeeF C is this "hat he gets up to i! the Ded Doo of .ai!I 8 sit stari!g at the
s$ree!, a!d part of e, a *ery oist a!d i!tegral part of e C that 8*e o!ly be$oe a$Buai!ted "ith
*ery re$e!tly, is seriously tur!ed o!% /h y, soe of this stuff is 3/T% 0ut is it for eI 3oly shitL
$ould 8 do thisI 8 !eed spa$e% 8 !eed to thi!#%
For the first tie i! y life, 8 *olu!tarily go for a ru!% 8 fi!d y !asty, !e*er9used s!ea#ers,
soe s"eat pa!ts, a!d a t9shirt% 8 put y hair i! pigtails, blushi!g at the eories they bri!g ba$#,
a!d 8 plug i! y i.od% 8 $a!t sit i! fro!t of that ar*el of te$h!ology a!d loo# at or read a!y ore
disturbi!g aterial% 8 !eed to e1pe!d soe of this e1$ess, e!er*ati!g, e!ergy% Quite fra!#ly, 8 ha*e a
i!d to ru! to the 3eatha! hotel a!d @ust dea!d se1 fro the $o!trol frea#% 0ut thats fi*e iles,
a!d 8 do!t thi!# 8ll be able to ru! o!e ile, let alo!e fi*e, a!d of $ourse, he ight tur! e do"!
"hi$h "ould be beyo!d huiliati!g%
Eate is "al#i!g fro her $ar as 8 head out of the door% She !early drops her shoppi!g "he!
she sees e% &!a Steele i! s!ea#ers% 8 "a*e a!d do!t stop for the i!Buisitio!% 8 !eed soe serious
alo!e tie% S!o" .atrol blari!g i! y ears, 8 set off i!to the opal a!d aBuaari!e dus#%
8 pa$e through the par#% #hat am I going to do. 8 "a!t hi, but o! his tersI 8 @ust do!t
#!o"% .erhaps 8 should !egotiate "hat 8 "a!t% >o through that ridi$ulous $o!tra$t li!e by li!e a!d
say "hat is a$$eptable a!d "hat is!t% =y resear$h has told e that legally its u!e!for$eable% 3e
ust #!o" that% 8 figure that it @ust sets up the paraeters of the relatio!ship% 8t illustrates "hat 8
$a! e1pe$t fro hi a!d "hat he e1pe$ts fro e C y total subissio!% & 8 prepared to gi*e
hi thatI & 8 e*e! $apableI
8 a plagued by o!e Buestio! 9 "hy is he li#e thisI 8s it be$ause he "as sedu$ed at su$h a
you!g ageI 8 @ust do!t #!o"% 3es still su$h a ystery%
8 stop beside a large spru$e a!d put y ha!ds o! y #!ees, breathi!g hard, draggi!g pre$ious
air i!to y lu!gs% /h, this feels good, $atharti$% 8 $a! feel y resol*e harde!i!g%
Jes% 8 !eed to tell hi "hats o#ay a!d "hat is!t% 8 !eed to eail hi y thoughts, a!d the!
"e $a! dis$uss these o! Wed!esday% 8 ta#e a deep $lea!si!g breath, the! @og ba$# to the aparte!t%
Eate has bee! shoppi!g, as o!ly she $a!, for $lothes for her holiday to 0arbados%
=ai!ly bi#i!is a!d at$hi!g saro!gs% She "ill loo# fabulous i! all of the, yet she still
a#es e sit a!d $oe!t "hile she tries o! ea$h a!d e*ery o!e% There are o!ly so a!y "ays o!e
$a! say C you loo( fa,ulous !ate. She has a $ur*y, sli figure to die for% She does!t do it o!
purpose, 8 #!o", but 8 haul y sorry, perspiratio! $lad, old t9shirt, s"eat pa!ts, a!d s!ea#ers ass
i!to y roo o! the prete1t of pa$#i!g ore bo1es% Could 8 feel a!y ore i!adeBuateI Ta#i!g the
a"esoe free te$h!ology "ith e, 8 set the laptop up o! y des#% 8 eail Christia!%
333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333
)rom: &!astasia Steele
S1b2ect: Sho$#ed of WS5A
"ate: =ay 22 2011 20:22
$o: Christia! >rey
/#ay, 8*e see! e!ough%
8t "as !i$e #!o"i!g you%
&!a
8 press se!d, huggi!g yself, laughi!g at y little @o#e% Will he fi!d it as fu!!yI Oh shit
C probably !ot% Christia! >rey is !ot faed for his se!se of huor% 0ut 8 #!o" it e1ists, 8*e
e1perie!$ed it% .erhaps 8*e go!e too far% 8 "ait for his a!s"er%
8 "aitL a!d "ait% 8 gla!$e at y alar $lo$#% Te! i!utes ha*e passed%
To distra$t yself fro the a!1iety that bloos i! y belly, 8 start doi!g "hat 8 told Eate 8
"ould be doi!g C pa$#i!g up y roo% 8 begi! by $rai!g y boo#s i!to a $rate%
0y !i!e, 8*e heard !othi!g% /erhaps he*s out. 8 pout petula!tly as 8 plug y i.od ear buds
i!, liste! to S!o" .atrol, a!d sit do"! at y sall des# to re9read the $o!tra$t a!d a#e y
$oe!ts%
8 do!t #!o" "hy 8 gla!$e up, aybe 8 $at$h a slight o*ee!t fro the $or!er of y eye, 8
do!t #!o", but "he! 8 do, hes sta!di!g i! the door"ay of y bedroo "at$hi!g e i!te!tly% 3es
"eari!g his grey fla!!el pa!ts a!d a "hite li!e! shirt, ge!tly t"irli!g his $ar #eys% 8 pull y ear
buds out a!d freeFe . 'uc(&
G>ood e*e!i!g, &!astasia%H 3is *oi$e is $ool, his e1pressio! $opletely guarded a!d
u!readable% The $apa$ity to spea# deserts e% <a! Eate for letti!g hi i! here "ith !o "ar!i!g%
Aaguely, 8 a"are that 8 still i! y s"eats, u!9sho"ered, yu$#y, a!d hes @ust gloriously
yuy, his pa!ts doi!g that ha!gi!g fro the hips thi!g, a!d "hats ore, hes here i! y
bedroo%
G8 felt that your eail "arra!ted a reply i! perso!,H he e1plai!s dryly%
8 ope! y outh a!d the! $lose it agai!, t"i$e% The @o#e is o! e% +e*er i! this or a!y
alter!ati*e u!i*erse did 8 e1pe$t hi to drop e*erythi!g a!d tur! up here%
G=ay 8 sitIH he as#s, his eyes !o" da!$i!g "ith huor C than( hea6ens 2 may,e he*ll see the
funny side.
8 !od% The po"er of spee$h reai!s elusi*e% Christian $rey is sitting on my ,ed.
G8 "o!dered "hat your bedroo "ould loo# li#e,H he says%
8 gla!$e arou!d it, plotti!g a! es$ape route, !o C theres still o!ly the door or "i!do"%
=y roo is fu!$tio!al but $oFy C sparse "hite "i$#er fur!iture a!d a "hite iro! double bed
"ith a pat$h"or# Built, ade by y other "he! she "as i! her fol#sy &eri$a! Builti!g phase%
8ts all pale blue a!d $rea%
G8ts *ery sere!e a!d pea$eful i! here,H he ururs% "ot at the moment0 not with you here.
Fi!ally, y edulla oblo!gata re$alls its purpose, 8 breathe%
G3o"L IH
3e siles at e%
G8 still at the 3eatha!%H
I (now that.
GWould you li#e a dri!#IH .olite!ess "i!s out o*er e*erythi!g else 8d li#e to say%
G+o, tha!# you, &!astasia%H 3e siles a daFFli!g, $roo#ed sile, his head $o$#ed slightly to
o!e side%
#ell I might need one.
GSo, it "as nice #!o"i!g eIH
3oly $o", is he offended. 8 stare do"! at y fi!gers% 3o" a 8 goi!g to dig yself out of
thisI 8f 8 tell hi it "as a @o#e, 8 do!t thi!# hell be ipressed%
G8 thought youd reply by eail%H =y *oi$e is sall, patheti$%
G&re you biti!g your lo"er lip deliberatelyIH he as#s dar#ly%
8 bli!# up at hi, gaspi!g, freei!g y lip%
G8 "as!t a"are 8 "as biti!g y lip,H 8 urur softly%
=y heart is pou!di!g% 8 $a! feel that pull, that deli$ious ele$tri$ity bet"ee! us $hargi!g,
filli!g the spa$e bet"ee! us "ith stati$% 3es sitti!g so $lose to e, his eyes dar# so#y gray, his
elbo"s resti!g o! his #!ees, his legs apart% Lea!i!g for"ard, he slo"ly u!does o!e of y pigtails,
his fi!gers freei!g y hair% =y breathi!g is shallo", a!d 8 $a!!ot o*e% 8 "at$h hyp!otiFed as his
ha!d o*es to y se$o!d pigtail, a!d pulli!g the hair tie, he loose!s the braid "ith his lo!g, s#illed
fi!gers%
GSo you de$ided o! soe e1er$ise,H he breathes, his *oi$e soft a!d elodious% 3is fi!gers
ge!tly tu$# y hair behi!d y ear% GWhy, &!astasiaIH 3is fi!gers $ir$le y ear, a!d *ery softly, he
tugs y earlobe, rhythi$ally% 8ts so se1ual%
G8 !eeded tie to thi!#,H 8 "hisper% 8 all rabbit?headlights, oth?flae, bird?s!a#eL
a!d he #!o"s e1a$tly "hat hes doi!g to e%
GThi!# about "hat, &!astasiaIH
GJou%H
G&!d you de$ided that it "as !i$e #!o"i!g eI <o you ea! #!o"i!g e i! the bibli$al
se!seIH
/h shit% 8 flush%
G8 did!t thi!# you "ere failiar "ith the 0ible%H
G8 "e!t to Su!day S$hool, &!astasia% 8t taught e a great deal%H
G8 do!t reeber readi!g about !ipple $laps i! the 0ible% .erhaps you "ere taught fro a
oder! tra!slatio!%H
3is lips ar$h "ith a tra$e of a sile, a!d y eyes are dra"! to his beautiful s$ulptured outh%
GWell, 8 thought 8 should $oe a!d rei!d you ho" nice it "as #!o"i!g e%H
3oly $rap% 8 stare at hi ope! outhed, a!d his fi!gers o*e fro y ear to y $hi!%
GWhat do you say to that, =iss SteeleIH
3is gray eyes blaFe at e, his $halle!ge i!tri!si$ i! his stare% 3is lips are parted C hes
"aiti!g, $oiled to stri#e% <esire C a$ute, liBuid a!d solderi!g, $obusts deep i! y belly%
8 ta#e pre9epti*e a$tio! a!d lau!$h yself at hi% Soeho" he o*es, 8 ha*e !o idea ho",
a!d i! the bli!# of a! eye 8 o! the bed pi!!ed be!eath hi, y ars stret$hed out a!d held abo*e
y head, his free ha!d $lut$hi!g y fa$e, a!d his outh fi!ds i!e%
3is to!gue is i! y outh, $laii!g a!d possessi!g e, a!d 8 re*el i! the for$e he uses% 8 feel
hi agai!st the le!gth of y body% 3e "a!ts me , a!d this does stra!ge, deli$ious thi!gs to y
i!sides% +ot Eate i! her little bi#i!is, !ot o!e of the fiftee!, !ot e*il =rs% Dobi!so!% =e% This
beautiful a! "a!ts e% =y i!!er goddess glo"s so bright she $ould light up .ortla!d% 3e stops
#issi!g e, a!d ope!i!g y eyes, 8 fi!d hi gaFi!g do"! at e%
GTrust eIH he breathes%
8 !od, "ide9eyed, y heart bou!$i!g off y ribs, y blood thu!deri!g arou!d y body%3e
rea$hes do"!, a!d fro his pa!ts po$#et, he ta#es out his sil*er grey sil# tieL that sil*er grey
"o*e! tie that lea*es sall ipressio!s of its "ea*e o! y s#i!% 3e o*es so Bui$#ly, sitti!g
astride e as he faste!s y "rists together, but this tie, he ties the other e!d of the tie to o!e of
the spo#es of y "hite iro! headboard% 3e pulls at y bi!di!g $he$#i!g its se$ure% 8 !ot goi!g
a!y"here% 8 tied, literally, to y bed, a!d 8 so aroused%
3e slides off e a!d sta!ds beside the bed, stari!g do"! at e, his eyes dar# "ith "a!t% 3is
loo# is triupha!t, i1ed "ith relief%
GThats better,H he ururs a!d siles a "i$#ed, #!o"i!g sile% 3e be!ds a!d starts u!doi!g
o!e of y s!ea#ers% /h !oL !oL y feet% +o% 8*e @ust bee! ru!!i!g%
G+o,H 8 protest, tryi!g to #i$# hi off%
3e stops%
G8f you struggle, 8ll tie your feet too% 8f you a#e a !oise, &!astasia, 8 "ill gag you%
Eeep Buiet% Eatheri!e is probably outside liste!i!g right !o"%H
$ag me& !ate& 8 shut up%
3e reo*es y shoes a!d y so$#s effi$ie!tly a!d slo"ly peels off y s"eat pa!ts%
/h C what panties am I wearing. 3e lifts e a!d pulls the Built a!d y du*et out fro
u!der!eath e a!d pla$es e ba$# do"!, this tie o! the sheets%
G+o" the!%H 3e li$#s his botto lip slo"ly% GJoure biti!g that lip, &!astasia% Jou #!o" the
effe$t it has o! e%H 3e pla$es his lo!g i!de1 fi!ger o*er y outh, a "ar!i!g%
Oh my. 8 $a! barely $o!tai! yself, lyi!g helpless, "at$hi!g hi o*e gra$efully arou!d y
roo, its a heady aphrodisia$% Slo"ly, alost leisurely, he reo*es his shoes a!d so$#s, u!does his
pa!ts, a!d lifts his shirt off o*er his head%
G8 thi!# you*e see! too u$h,H he $hu$#les slyly% 3e sits astride e agai!, pulls y t9shirt
up, a!d 8 thi!# hes goi!g to ta#e it off e, but he rolls it up to y !e$# a!d the! pulls it up o*er y
head so he $a! see y outh a!d y !ose, but it $o*ers y eyes% &!d be$ause its folded o*er C 8
$a!!ot see a thi!g through it%
G=,H he breathes appre$iati*ely% GThis @ust gets better a!d better% 8 goi!g to get a
dri!#%H
Lea!i!g do"!, he #isses e, his lips te!der agai!st i!e, a!d his "eight shifts off the bed% 8
hear the Buiet $rea# of the bedroo door% >et a dri!#% #here. 7ere. /ortland.
%eattle. 8 strai! to hear hi% 8 $a! a#e out lo" rubli!gs, a!d 8 #!o" hes tal#i!g to Eate
C oh !oL he*s practically na(ed. Whats she goi!g to sayI 8 hear a fai!t poppi!g sou!d% Whats
thatI 3e retur!s, the door $rea#i!g o!$e ore, his feet paddi!g a$ross the bedroo floor, a!d i$e
ti!#li!g agai!st glass as it s"irls i! liBuid% What #i!d of dri!#I 3e shuts the door a!d shuffles
arou!d reo*i!g his pa!ts% They drop to the floor, a!d 8 #!o" hes !a#ed% 3e sits astride e agai!%
G&re you thirsty, &!astasiaIH he as#s, his *oi$e teasi!g
GJes,H 8 breathe, be$ause y outh is sudde!ly par$hed% 8 hear the i$e $li!# agai!st the glass,
a!d he puts it do"! agai! a!d lea!s do"! a!d #isses e, pouri!g a deli$ious $risp, liBuid i!to y
outh as he does% 8ts "hite "i!e% 8ts so u!e1pe$ted, hot , though its $hilled, a!d Christia!s lips
are $ool%
G=oreIH he "hispers%
8 !od% 8t tastes all the ore di*i!e be$ause its bee! i! his outh% 3e lea!s do"!, a!d 8 dri!#
a!other outhful fro his lipsL oh my.
GLets !ot go too far, "e #!o" your $apa$ity for al$ohol is liited, &!astasia%H
8 $a!t help it% 8 gri!, a!d he lea!s do"! to deli*er a!other deli$ious outhful% 3e shifts so
hes lyi!g beside e, his ere$tio! at y hip% /h, 8 "a!t hi i!side e%
G8s this nice IH he as#s, but 8 hear the edge i! his *oi$e%
8 te!se% 3e o*es the glass agai! a!d lea!s do"!, #issi!g e a!d depositi!g a sall shard of
i$e i! y outh "ith a little "i!e% 3e slo"ly a!d leisurely trails $hilled #isses do"! the $e!ter of
y body, fro the base of y throat, bet"ee! y breasts, do"! y torso, a!d to y belly% 3e pops
a frage!t of i$e i! y !a*el i! a pool of $ool, $old "i!e%
8t bur!s all the "ay do"! to the depths of y belly% Wo"%
G+o" you ha*e to #eep still,H he "hispers% G8f you o*e, &!astasia, youll get "i!e all o*er
the bed%H
=y hips fle1 autoati$ally%
G/h !o% 8f you spill the "i!e, 8 "ill pu!ish you, =iss Steele%H
8 groa! a!d desperately fight the urge to tilt y hips, pulli!g o! y restrai!t% /h !oL
please.
With o!e fi!ger, he pulls do"! y bra $ups i! tur!, y breasts pushed up, e1posed a!d
*ul!erable% Lea!i!g do"!, he #isses a!d tugs at ea$h of y !ipples i! tur! "ith $ool, $old lips% 8
fight y body as it tries to ar$h i! respo!se%
G3o" nice is thisIH he breathes, blo"i!g o! o!e of y !ipples%
8 hear a!other $li!# of i$e, a!d the! 8 $a! feel it rou!d y right !ipple as he tugs the left o!e
"ith his lips% 8 oa!, struggli!g !ot to o*e% 8ts s"eet, ago!iFi!g torture%
G8f you spill the "i!e, 8 "o!t let you $oe,H
G/hL pleaseL Christia!L SirL .lease%H 3es dri*i!g e i!sa!e% 8 hear hi sile%
The i$e i! y !a*el is elti!g% 8 a beyo!d "ar C "ar a!d $hilled a!d "a!ti!g%
Wa!ti!g hi, i!side e% +o"%
3is $ool fi!gers trail la!guidly a$ross y belly% =y s#i! is o*erse!siti*e, y hips fle1
autoati$ally, a!d the !o" "arer liBuid fro y !a*el seeps o*er y belly% Christia! o*es
Bui$#ly, lappi!g it up "ith his to!gue, #issi!g, biti!g e softly, su$#i!g%
G/h dear, &!astasia, you o*ed% What a 8 goi!g to do to youIH
8 pa!ti!g loudly% &ll 8 $a! $o!$e!trate o! is his *oi$e a!d his tou$h% +othi!g else is real%
+othi!g else atters, !othi!g else registers o! y radar% 3is fi!gers slip i!to y pa!ties, a!d 8
re"arded "ith his u!guarded sharp i!ta#e of air%
G/h, baby,H he ururs a!d he pushes t"o fi!gers i!side e%
8 gasp%
GDeady for e so soo!,H he says% 3e o*es his fi!gers ta!taliFi!gly slo"ly, i!, out, a!d 8
push agai!st hi, tilti!g y hips up%
GJou are a greedy girl,H he s$olds softly, a!d his thub $ir$les y $litoris a!d the! presses
do"!%
8 groa! loudly as y body bu$#s be!eath his e1pert fi!gers% 3e rea$hes up a!d pushes the t9
shirt o*er y head so 8 $a! see hi as 8 bli!# i! the soft light of y sidelight% 8 lo!g to tou$h hi%
G8 "a!t to tou$h you,H 8 breathe%
G8 #!o",H he ururs% 3e lea!s do"! a!d #isses e, his fi!gers still o*i!g rhythi$ally
i!side e, his thub $ir$li!g a!d pressi!g% 3is other ha!d s$oops y hair off y head a!d holds
y head i! pla$e% 3is to!gue irrors the a$tio!s of his fi!gers, $laii!g e% =y legs begi! to
stiffe! as 8 push agai!st his ha!d% 3e ge!tles his ha!d, so 8 brought ba$# fro the bri!#% 3e does
this agai! a!d agai!% 8ts so frustrati!gL Oh please Christian 8 s$rea i! y head%
GThis is your pu!ishe!t, so $lose a!d yet so far% 8s this nice IH he breathes i! y ear%
8 "hiper, e1hausted, pulli!g agai!st y restrai!t% 8 helpless, lost i! a! eroti$ tore!t%
G.lease,H 8 beg, a!d he fi!ally ta#es pity o! e%
G3o" shall 8 fu$# you, &!astasiaIH
/hL y body starts to Bui*er% 3e stills agai!%
G.lease%H
GWhat do you "a!t, &!astasiaIH
GJouL !o",H 8 $ry%
GShall 8 fu$# you this "ay, or this "ay, or this "ayI Theres a! e!dless $hoi$e,H he breathes
agai!st y lips% 3e "ithdra"s his ha!d a!d rea$hes o*er to the bedside table for a foil pa$#et% 3e
#!eels up bet"ee! y legs, a!d *ery slo"ly he pulls y pa!ties off, stari!g do"! at e, his eyes
gleai!g% 3e puts o! the $o!do% 8 "at$h fas$i!ated, eseriFed%
G3o" nice is thisIH he says as he stro#es hiself%
G8 ea!t it as a @o#e,H 8 "hiper% /lease fuc( me Christian.
3e raises his eyebro"s as his ha!d o*es up a!d do"! his ipressi*e le!gth%
G& @o#eIH 3is *oi$e is e!a$i!gly soft%
GJes% .lease, Christia!,H 8 besee$h hi%
G&re you laughi!g !o"IH
G+o,H 8 e"l%
8 a @ust o!e ball of se1ual, te!se, !eed% 3e stares do"! at e for a oe!t, easur9i!g y
!eed, the! he grabs e sudde!ly a!d flips e o*er% 8t ta#es e by surprise, a!d be$ause y ha!ds
are tied, 8 ha*e to support yself o! y elbo"s% 3e pushes both y #!ees up the bed so y behi!d
is i! the air, a!d he slaps e hard% 0efore 8 $a! rea$t, he plu!ges i!side e% 8 $ry out C fro the slap
a!d fro his sudde! assault, a!d 8 $oe i!sta!tly agai! a!d agai!, falli!g apart be!eath hi as he
$o!ti!ues to sla deli$iously i!to e% 3e does!t stop% 8 spe!t% 8 $a!t ta#e thisL a!d he pou!ds
o! a!d o! a!d o!%%% the! 8 buildi!g agai!L surely !otL !oL
GCoe o!, &!astasia, agai!,H he gro"ls through $le!$hed teeth, a!d u!belie*ably, y body
respo!ds, $o!*ulsi!g arou!d hi as 8 $lia1 a!e", $alli!g out his !ae% 8 shatter agai! i!to ti!y
frage!ts, a!d Christia! stills, fi!ally letti!g go, sile!tly fi!di!g his release%
3e $ollapses o! top of e, breathi!g hard%
G3o" nice "as thatIH he as#s through his gritted teeth%
Oh my.
8 lie pa!ti!g a!d spe!t o! the bed, eyes $losed as he slo"ly pulls out of e% 3e rises
iediately a!d dresses% Whe! hes fully $lothed, he $libs ba$# o! the bed a!d ge!tly u!does his
tie a!d pulls y t9shirt off% 8 fle1 y fi!gers a!d rub y "rists, sili!g at the "o*e! patter!
ipri!ted o! y "rists fro the tie% 8 re9ad@ust y bra as he pulls the du*et a!d Built o*er e% 8
stare up at hi $opletely daFed, a!d he sir#s do"! at e%
GThat "as really !i$e,H 8 "hisper, sili!g $oyly%
GTheres that "ord agai!%H
GJou do!t li#e that "ordIH
G+o% 8t does!t do it for e at all%H
G/h C 8 do!t #!o"L it sees to ha*e a *ery be!efi$ial effe$t o! you%H
G8 a be!efi$ial effe$t, !o" a 8I Could you "ou!d y ego a!y further, =iss SteeleIH
G8 do!t thi!# theres a!ythi!g "ro!g "ith your ego%H 0ut e*e! as 8 say it, 8 do!t feel the
$o!*i$tio! of y "ords 9 soethi!g elusi*e $rosses y i!d, a fleeti!g thought, but its lost before
8 $a! grasp it%
GJou thi!#IH 3is *oi$e is soft% 3es lyi!g beside e, fully $lothed, his head propped up o! his
elbo", a!d 8 a o!ly "eari!g y bra%
GWhy do!t you li#e to be tou$hedIH
G8 @ust do!t%H 3e rea$hes o*er a!d pla!ts a soft #iss o! y forehead% GSo, that eail "as your
idea of a @o#e%H
8 sile apologeti$ally at hi a!d shrug%
G8 see% So you are still $o!sideri!g y propositio!IH
GJour i!de$e!t proposalL yes 8 a% 8 ha*e issues though%H
3e gri!s do"! at e as if relie*ed%
G8d be disappoi!ted if you did!t%H
G8 "as goi!g to eail the to you, but you #i!d of i!terrupted e%H
GCoitus 8!terruptus%H
GSee, 8 #!e" you had a se!se of huor soe"here i! there%H 8 sile%
G/!ly $ertai! thi!gs are fu!!y, &!astasia% 8 thought you "ere sayi!g !o, !o dis$ussio! at all%H
3is *oi$e drops%
G8 do!t #!o" yet% 8 ha*e!t ade up y i!d% Will you $ollar eIH
3e raises his eyebro"s%
GJou ha*e bee! doi!g your resear$h% 8 do!t #!o", &!astasia% 8*e !e*er $ollared a!yo!e%H
/hL should 8 be surprised by thisI 8 #!o" so little about the scene L 8 do!t #!o"%
GWere you $ollaredIH 8 "hisper%
GJes%H
G0y =rs% Dobi!so!IH
G=rs% Dobi!so!KH he laughs loudly, freely, a!d he loo#s so you!g a!d $arefree, his head
thro"! ba$#, his laughter i!fe$tious%
8 gri! ba$# at hi%
G8ll tell her you said that, shell lo*e it%H
GJou still tal# to her regularlyIH 8 $a!t #eep the sho$# out of y *oi$e%
GJes%H 3es serious !o"%
/hL a!d part of e is sudde!ly i!sa!ely @ealous C 8 disturbed by the depth of y feeli!g%
G8 see%H =y *oi$e is tight% GSo you ha*e soeo!e you $a! dis$uss your alter!ati*e lifestyle
"ith, but 8 !ot allo"ed%H
3e fro"!s%
G8 do!t thi!# 8*e e*er thought about it li#e that% =rs% Dobi!so! "as part of that lifestyle% 8
told you, shes a good frie!d !o"% 8f youd li#e, 8 $a! i!trodu$e you to o!e of y forer subs, you
$ould tal# to her%H
#hat. Is he deli,erately trying to upset me.
G8s this your idea of a @o#eI
G+o, &!astasia%H 3es beused as he sha#es his head ear!estly%
G+o C 8ll do this o! y o"!, tha!# you *ery u$h,H 8 s!ap at hi, pulli!g the du*et up to y
$hi!%
3e stares at e, at sea, surprised%
G&!astasia, 8L H 3es lost for "ords% & first, 8 thi!#% G8 did!t ea! to offe!d you%H
G8 !ot offe!ded% 8 appalled%H
G&ppalledIH
G8 do!t "a!t to tal# to o!e of your e19girlfrie!dsL sla*eL subL "hate*er you $all the%H
G&!astasia Steele C are you @ealousIH
8 flush, $riso!%
G&re you stayi!gIH
G8 ha*e a brea#fast eeti!g toorro" at the 3eatha!% 0esides, 8 told you, 8 do!t sleep "ith
girlfrie!ds, sla*es, subs, or a!yo!e% Friday a!d Saturday !ight "ere e1$eptio!s%
8t "o!t happe! agai!%H 8 $a! hear the resol*e behi!d his soft, hus#y *oi$e%
8 purse y lips at hi%
GWell 8 tired !o"%H
G&re you #i$#i!g e outIH 3e raises his eyebro"s at e, aused a!d a little disayed%
GJes%H
GWell thats a!other first%H 3e eyes e spe$ulati*ely% GSo !othi!g you "a!t to dis$uss !o"I
&bout the $o!tra$t%H
G+o%H 8 reply petula!tly%
G>od, 8d li#e to gi*e you a good hidi!g% Joud feel a lot better, a!d so "ould 8%H
GJou $a!t say thi!gs li#e thatL 8 ha*e!t sig!ed a!ythi!g yet%H
G& a! $a! drea, &!astasia%H 3e lea!s o*er e a!d grasps y $hi!% GWed!esdayIH
he ururs, a!d he #isses e lightly o! y lips%
GWed!esday,H 8 agree% G8ll see you out% 8f you gi*e e a i!ute%H 8 sit up a!d grab y t9shirt,
pushi!g hi out of the "ay% &used a!d relu$ta!t, he gets up off the bed%
G.lease pass e y s"eat pa!ts%H
3e $olle$ts the fro the floor a!d ha!ds the to e%
GJes, aa%H 3es tryi!g u!su$$essfully to hide his sile%
8 !arro" y eyes at hi as 8 slip the pa!ts o!% =y hair is a state, a!d 8 #!o" 8ll ha*e to fa$e
the Eatheri!e Ea*a!agh 8!Buisitio! after hes go!e% >rabbi!g a hair tie, 8 "al# to y bedroo door,
ope!i!g it slightly $he$#i!g for Eate% She is !ot i! the li*i!g area% 8 thi!# 8 $a! hear her o! the
pho!e i! her roo% Christia! follo"s e out% <uri!g the short "al# fro bedroo to fro!t door, y
thoughts a!d feeli!gs ebb a!d flo", tra!sfori!g% 8 !o lo!ger a!gry "ith hi, 8 feel sudde!ly
u!bearably shy% 8 do!t "a!t hi to go% For the first tie, 8 "ishi!g he "as C normal C "a!ti!g a
!oral relatio!ship that does!t !eed a te!9page agreee!t, a flogger, a!d #arabi!ers i! his
playroo $eili!g%
8 ope! the door for hi a!d stare do"! at y ha!ds% This is the first tie 8 ha*e e*er had se1
i! y hoe, a!d as se1 goes, 8 thi!# it "as pretty da! fi!e% 0ut !o" 8 feel li#e a re$epta$le C a!
epty *essel to be filled at his "hi% =y sub$o!s$ious sha#es her head%
)ou wanted to run to the 7eathman for se< 2 you had it e<press;deli6ered. She $rosses her
ars a!d taps her foot "ith a "hat9are9you9$oplai!i!g9about9loo# o! her fa$e% Christia! stops i!
the door"ay a!d $lasps y $hi!, for$i!g y eyes to eet his% 3is bro" $reases slightly%
GJou o#ayIH he as#s te!derly as his thub lightly $aresses y botto lip%
GJes%H 8 reply, though i! all ho!esty 8 @ust !ot sure% 8 feel a paradig shift% 8 #!o" that if 8
do this thi!g "ith hi, 8 "ill get hurt% 3es !ot $apable, i!terested, or "illi!g to offer e a!y
oreL a!d 8 "a!t ore% Much more. The surge of @ealousy 8 felt o!ly oe!ts ago tells e that 8
ha*e deeper feeli!gs for hi tha! 8 ha*e aditted to yself%
GWed!esday,H he $o!firs, a!d he lea!s for"ard a!d #isses e softly% Soethi!g $ha!ges
"hile hes #issi!g e, his lips gro" ore urge!t agai!st i!e, his ha!d o*es up fro y $hi! a!d
hes holdi!g the side of y head, his other ha!d o! the other side% 3is breathi!g a$$elerates% 3e
deepe!s the #iss, lea!i!g i!to e% 8 put y ha!ds o! his ars%
8 "a!t to ru! the through his hair, but 8 resist, #!o"i!g that he "o!t li#e it% 3e lea!s his
forehead agai!st i!e, his eyes $losed, his *oi$e strai!ed%
G&!astasia,H he "hispers% GWhat are you doi!g to eIH
G8 $ould say the sae to you,H 8 "hisper ba$#%
Ta#i!g a deep breath, he #isses y forehead a!d lea*es% 3e strolls purposefully do"! the path
to"ards his $ar as he ru!s his ha!d through his hair% >la!$i!g up as he ope!s his $ar door, he siles
his breathta#i!g sile% =y a!s"eri!g sile is "ea#, $opletely daFFled by hi, a!d 8 rei!ded
o!$e ore of 8$arus soari!g too $lose to the Su!% 8 $lose the fro!t door as he $libs i!to his sporty
$ar% 8 ha*e a! o*er"heli!g urge to $ry, a sad a!d lo!ely ela!$holy grips a!d tighte!s rou!d y
heart% <ashi!g ba$# to y bedroo, 8 $lose the door a!d lea! agai!st it tryi!g to ratio!aliFe y
feeli!gs% 8 $a!t% Slidi!g to the floor, 8 put y head i! y ha!ds as y tears begi! to flo"%
Eate #!o$#s ge!tly%
G&!aIH she "hispers% 8 ope! the door% She ta#es o!e loo# at e a!d thro"s her ars arou!d
e%
GWhats "ro!gI What did that $reepy good9loo#i!g bastard doIH
G/h Eate, !othi!g 8 did!t "a!t hi to%H
She pulls e to y bed a!d "e sit%
GJou ha*e dreadful se1 hair%H
8! spite of y poig!a!t sad!ess, 8 laugh%
G8t "as good se1, !ot dreadful at all%H
Eate siles%
GThats better% Why are you $ryi!gI Jou !e*er $ry%H She retrie*es y brush fro the side
table, a!d sitti!g behi!d e, *ery slo"ly starts brushi!g out the #!ots%
G8 @ust do!t thi!# our relatio!ship is goi!g to go a!y"here%H 8 stare do"! at y fi!gers%
G8 thought you said you "ere goi!g to see hi o! Wed!esdayIH
G8 a, that "as our origi!al pla!%H
GSo, "hy did he tur! up here todayIH
G8 se!t hi a! eail%H
G&s#i!g hi to drop byIH
G+o, sayi!g 8 did!t "a!t to see hi a!yore%H
G&!d he tur!s upI &!a, thats ge!ius%H
G&$tually it "as a @o#e%H
G/h% +o" 8 really $o!fused%H
.atie!tly, 8 e1plai! the esse!$e of y eail "ithout gi*i!g a!ythi!g a"ay%
GSo you thought hed reply by eail%H
GJes%H
G0ut i!stead he tur!s up here%H
GJes%H
G8d say hes $opletely sitte! "ith you%H
8 fro"!% Christian smitten with me. 7ardly. 3es @ust loo#i!g for a !e" toy C a $o!*e!ie!t
!e" toy that he $a! bed a!d do u!spea#able thi!gs to% =y heart tighte!s pai!fully%
This is the reality%
G3e $ae here to fu$# e, thats all%H
GWho said roa!$e "as deadIH she "hispers horrified% 8*e sho$#ed Eate% 8 did!t thi!# that
"as possible% 8 shrug apologeti$ally%
G3e uses se1 as a "eapo!%H
GFu$# you i!to subissio!IH She sha#es her head disappro*i!gly% 8 bli!# rapidly at her, a!d 8
$a! feel the blush as it spreads a$ross y fa$e% Oh0 spot on !atherine !a6anagh /ulit:er /ri:e;
winning +ournalist.
G&!a, 8 do!t u!dersta!d, you @ust let hi a#e lo*e to youIH
G+o, Eate, "e do!t a#e lo*e C "e fu$# C Christia!s teri!ology% 3e does!t do the lo*e
thi!g%H
G8 #!e" there "as soethi!g "eird about hi% 3e has $oite!t issues%H
8 !od, as if i! agreee!t% 8!"ardly, 8 pi!e% /h Eate%%% 8 "ish 8 $ould tell you e*erythi!g,
e*erythi!g about this stra!ge, sad, #i!#y guy, a!d you $ould tell e to forget about hi% Stop e
fro bei!g a fool%
G8 guess its all a little o*er"heli!g,H 8 urur% 1hat*s the understatement of the year.
0e$ause 8 do!t "a!t to tal# about Christia! a!y ore, 8 as# her about Elliot% Eatheri!es "hole
deea!or $ha!ges at the ere e!tio! of his !ae, she lights up fro "ithi!, beai!g at e%
G3es $oi!g o*er early Saturday to help load up%H She hugs the hairbrush, boy has she got it
bad, a!d 8 feel a failiar fai!t stab of e!*y% Eate has fou!d herself a !oral a!, a!d she loo#s so
happy%
8 tur! a!d hug her%
G/h, 8 ea!t to say% Jour dad $alled "hile you "ereL err, o$$upied% &ppare!tly 0ob has
sustai!ed soe i!@ury, so your o a!d he $a!t a#e graduatio!% 0ut your dad "ill be here
Thursday% 3e "a!ts you to $all%H
G/h%%% y o !e*er $alled e% 8s 0ob o#ayIH
GJes% Call her i! the or!i!g% 8ts late !o"%H
GTha!#s, Eate% 8 o#ay !o"% 8ll $all Day i! the or!i!g too% 8 thi!# 8ll @ust tur! i!%H She
siles, but her eyes $ri!#le at the $or!ers "ith $o!$er!%
&fter shes go!e, 8 sit a!d read the $o!tra$t agai!, a#i!g ore !otes as 8 go% Whe! 8*e
fi!ished, 8 fire up the laptop, ready to respo!d%
Theres a! eail fro Christia! i! y i!bo1%
)rom: Christia! >rey
S1b2ect: This e*e!i!g
"ate: =ay 22 2011 22:1(
$o: &!astasia Steele
=iss Steele
8 loo# for"ard to re$ei*i!g your !otes o! the $o!tra$t%
5!til the!, sleep "ell baby%
Christia! >rey
CE/, >rey E!terprises 3oldi!gs 8!$%
)rom: &!astasia Steele
S1b2ect: 8ssues
"ate: =ay 2S 2011 00:02
$o: Christia! >rey
<ear =r% >rey
3ere is y list of issues% 8 loo# for"ard to dis$ussi!g the ore fully at di!!er o!
Wed!esday%
The !ubers refer to $lauses:
2: +ot sure "hy this is solely for =J be!efit C ie to e1plore =J se!suality a!d liits% 8
sure 8 "ould!t !eed a te!9page $o!tra$t to do thatK Surely this is for J/5D be!efit%
S: &s you are a"are you are y o!ly se1ual part!er% 8 do!t ta#e drugs, a!d 8*e !ot had a!y
blood tra!sfusio!s% 8 probably safe% What about youI
): 8 $a! teri!ate at a!y tie if 8 do!t thi!# youre sti$#i!g to the agreed liits% /#ay C 8 li#e
this%
': /bey you i! all thi!gsI &$$ept "ithout hesitatio! your dis$ipli!eI We !eed to tal# about
this%
11: /!e o!th trial period% +ot three%
12: 8 $a!!ot $oit e*ery "ee#e!d% 8 do ha*e a life, or "ill ha*e% .erhaps three out of fourI
14%2: 5si!g y body as you see fit se1ually or other"ise C please defi!e Gor other"ise%H
14%4: This "hole dis$ipli!e $lause% 8 !ot sure 8 "a!t to be "hipped, flogged, or $orporally
pu!ished% 8 a sure this "ould be i! brea$h of $lauses 294% &!d also Gfor a!y other reaso!H% Thats
@ust ea! C a!d you told e you "ere!t a sadist%
14%10: Li#e loa!i!g e out to soeo!e else "ould e*er be a! optio!% 0ut 8 glad its here i!
bla$# a!d "hite%
14%1S: The Dules% =ore o! those later%
14%1': Tou$hi!g yself "ithout your perissio!% Whats the proble "ith thisI Jou #!o" 8
do!t do it a!y"ay%
14%21: <is$ipli!e C .lease see $lause 14%4 abo*e%
14%22: 8 $a!t loo# i!to your eyesI WhyI
14%2S: Why $a!t 8 tou$h youI
Dules:
Sleep C 8ll agree to ( hours% Food C 8 a !ot eati!g food fro a pres$ribed list% The food list
goes or 8 do C <eal brea#er% Clothes C as lo!g as 8 o!ly ha*e to "ear your $lothes "he! 8 "ith
you%%% o#ay% E1er$ise C We agreed 2 hours, this still says S%
Soft Liits:
Ca! "e go through all of theseI +o Fisti!g of a!y #i!d% What is suspe!sio!I >e!ital Claps
C you ha*e got to be #iddi!g e%
Ca! you please let e #!o" the arra!gee!ts for Wed!esdayI 8 a "or#i!g u!til 4p that
day%
>ood !ight%
&!a
)rom: Christia! >rey
S1b2ect: This e*e!i!g
"ate: =ay 2S 2011 00:07
$o: &!astasia Steele
=iss Steele
Thats a lo!g list% Why are you still upI
Christia! >rey
CE/, >rey E!terprises 3oldi!gs 8!$%
)rom: &!astasia Steele
S1b2ect: 0ur!i!g the id!ight oil
"ate: =ay 2S 2011 00:10
$o: Christia! >rey
Sir
8f you re$all 8 "as goi!g through this list, "he! 8 "as distra$ted a!d bedded by a passi!g
$o!trol frea#%
>ood!ight%
&!a
)rom: Christia! >rey
S1b2ect: Stop 0ur!i!g the id!ight oil
"ate: =ay 2S 2011 00:12
$o: &!astasia Steele
>/ T/ 0E< &+&ST&S8&%
Christia! >rey
CE/ N Co!trol Frea#, >rey E!terprises 3oldi!gs 8!$%
Oh0 shouty capitals& 8 s"it$h off% 3o" $a! he i!tiidate e "he! hes si1 iles a"ayI
8 sha#e y head% =y heart still hea*y, 8 $lib i!to bed a!d fall i!sta!tly i!to a deep but
troubled sleep%
The follo"i!g day, 8 $all y o "he! 8 hoe fro "or#% 8ts bee! a relati*ely pea$eful
day at the Clayto!s, allo"i!g e far too u$h tie to thi!#% 8 restless, !er*ous about y
sho"do"! "ith =r% Co!trol Frea# toorro", a!d at the ba$# of y i!d, 8 "orried that perhaps
8*e bee! too !egati*e i! y respo!se to the $o!tra$t% .erhaps hell $all the "hole thi!g off%
=y o is ooFi!g $o!tritio!, desperately sorry !ot to a#e y graduatio!% 0ob has t"isted
soe ligae!t "hi$h ea!s hes hobbli!g all o*er the pla$e% 3o!estly, hes as a$$ide!t9pro!e as 8
a% 3es e1pe$ted to a#e a full re$o*ery, but it ea!s hes resti!g up, a!d y other has to "ait
o! hi ha!d a!d sore foot%
G&!a ho!ey, 8 so sorry,H y o "hi!es do"! the pho!e%
G=o, its fi!e% Day "ill be there%H
G&!a, you sou!d distra$ted C are you o#ay, babyIH
GJes, =o,H Oh if only you (new. Theres a! obs$e!ely ri$h guy 8*e et a!d he "a!ts
soe #i!d of stra!ge #i!#y se1ual relatio!ship, i! "hi$h 8 do!t get a say i! thi!gs%
G3a*e you et soeo!eIH
G+o, =o%H 8 a so !ot goi!g there right !o"%
GWell, darli!g, 8ll be thi!#i!g of you o! Thursday% 8 lo*e youL you #!o" that ho!eyIH8
$lose y eyes, her pre$ious "ords gi*e e a "ar glo" i!side%
GLo*e you too, =o% Say hi to 0ob, a!d 8 hope he gets better fast%H
GWill do, ho!ey% 0ye%H
G0ye%H
8 ha*e strayed i!to y bedroo "ith the pho!e% 8dly, 8 s"it$h the ea! a$hi!e o! a!d fire
up the eail progra% Theres a! eail fro Christia! fro late last !ight or *ery early this
or!i!g, depe!di!g o! your poi!t of *ie"% =y heart rate spi#es i!sta!tly, a!d 8 hear the blood
pupi!g i! y ears% 3oly $rapL perhaps hes said !o C thats it C aybe hes $a!$eli!g di!!er% The
thought is so pai!ful% 8 disiss it Bui$#ly a!d ope! the eail%
)rom: Christia! >rey
S1b2ect: Jour 8ssues
"ate: =ay 2S 2011 01:27
$o: &!astasia Steele
<ear =iss Steele
Follo"i!g y ore thorough e1ai!atio! of your issues, ay 8 bri!g to your atte!tio! the
defi!itio! of subissi*e%
s1bmissive Vs uh, 9mis 9i*W C ad2ective .4 i!$li!ed or ready to subitP u!resisti!gly or
hubly obedie!t: su,missi6e ser6ants.
/4 ar#ed by or i!di$ati!g subissio!: a su,missi6e reply.
Origin: 14)0C'0P subiss X 9i*e
Synonyms: .4 tra$table, $oplia!t, plia!t, ae!able% /4 passi*e, resig!ed, patie!t, do$ile,
tae, subdued% Antonyms: .4 rebellious, disobedie!t%
.lease bear this i! i!d for our eeti!g o! Wed!esday%
Christia! >rey
CE/, >rey E!terprises 3oldi!gs 8!$%
=y i!itial feeli!g is o!e of relief% 3es "illi!g to dis$uss y issues at least, a!d he still "a!ts
to eet toorro"% &fter soe thought, 8 reply%
)rom: &!astasia Steele
S1b2ect: =y 8ssuesL What about Jour 8ssuesI
"ate: =ay 2S 2011 1):2'
$o: Christia! >rey
Sir
.lease !ote the date of origi!: 14)09'0% 8 "ould respe$tfully rei!d Sir that the year is 2011%
We ha*e $oe a lo!g "ay si!$e the!%
=ay 8 offer a defi!itio! for you to $o!sider for our eeti!g: compromise V5om 9pr uh
9ahyFW 9 noun
.4 a settlee!t of differe!$es by utual $o!$essio!sP a! agreee!t rea$hed by ad@uste!t of
$o!fli$ti!g or opposi!g $lais, pri!$iples, et$%, by re$ipro$al odifi$atio! of dea!ds% /4 the
result of su$h a settlee!t% 04 soethi!g i!terediate bet"ee! differe!t thi!gs: 1he split;le6el is a
compromise ,etween a ranch house and a multistoried house.
64 a! e!da!geri!g, esp% of reputatio!P e1posure to da!ger, suspi$io!, et$%: a compro;
mise of one*s integrity.
&!a
)rom: Christia! >rey
S1b2ect: What about =y 8ssuesI
"ate: =ay 2S 2011 1):22
$o: &!astasia Steele
>ood poi!t, "ell ade, as e*er, =iss Steele% 8 "ill $olle$t you fro your aparte!t at 7:00
toorro"%
Christia! >rey
CE/, >rey E!terprises 3oldi!gs 8!$%
)rom: &!astasia Steele
S1b2ect: 2011 C Woe! $a! dri*e
"ate: =ay 2S 2011 1):S0
$o: Christia! >rey
Sir
8 ha*e a $ar% 8 $a! dri*e%
8 "ould prefer to eet you soe"here%
Where shall 8 eet youI
&t your hotel at 7:00I
&!a
)rom: Christia! >rey
S1b2ect: Stubbor! Jou!g Woe!
"ate: =ay 2S 2011 1):S2
$o: &!astasia Steele
<ear =iss Steele
8 refer to y eail dated =ay 2S, 2011 se!t at 1:27 a!d the defi!itio! $o!tai!ed therei!%
<o you e*er thi!# youll be able to do "hat youre toldI
Christia! >rey
CE/, >rey E!terprises 3oldi!gs 8!$%
)rom: &!astasia Steele
S1b2ect: 8!tra$table =e!
"ate: =ay 2S 2011 1):S'
$o: Christia! >rey
=r% >rey
8 "ould li#e to dri*e%
.lease%
&!a
)rom: Christia! >rey
S1b2ect: E1asperated =e!
"ate: =ay 2S 2011 1):42
$o: &!astasia Steele
Fi!e%
=y hotel at 7:00%
8ll eet you i! the =arble 0ar%
Christia! >rey
CE/, >rey E!terprises 3oldi!gs 8!$%
3es e*e! grupy by eail% <oes!t he u!dersta!d that 8 ay !eed to a#e a Bui$# get9
a"ayI +ot that y 0eetle is Bui$#L but still C 8 !eed a ea!s of es$ape%
)rom: &!astasia Steele
S1b2ect: +ot So 8!tra$table =e!
"ate: =ay 2S 2011 1):44
$o: Christia! >rey
Tha!# you%
&!a 1
)rom: Christia! >rey
S1b2ect: E1asperati!g Woe!
"ate: =ay 2S 2011 1):4'
$o: &!astasia Steele
Joure "el$oe%
Christia! >rey
CE/, >rey E!terprises 3oldi!gs 8!$%
8 $all Day, "ho is @ust about to "at$h the Sou!ders play soe so$$er tea fro Salt La#e
City, so our $o!*ersatio! is er$ifully brief% 3es dri*i!g do"! o! Thursday for graduatio!% 3e
"a!ts to ta#e e out after"ard for a eal% =y heart s"ells tal#i!g to Day, a!d a huge lup #!ots i!
y throat% 3e has bee! y $o!sta!t through all os roa!ti$ ups a!d do"!s% We ha*e a spe$ial
bo!d that 8 treasure% E*e! though hes y stepdad, hes al"ays treated e as his o"!, a!d 8 $a!t
"ait to see hi% 8ts bee! too lo!g% 3is Buiet fortitude is "hat 8 !eed !o", "hat 8 iss% =aybe 8 $a!
$ha!!el y i!!er Day for y eeti!g toorro"%
Eate a!d 8 $o!$e!trate o! pa$#i!g, shari!g a bottle of $heap red "i!e as "e do% Whe! 8 fi!ally
go to bed, ha*i!g alost fi!ished pa$#i!g y roo, 8 feel $aler% The physi$al a$ti*ity of bo1i!g
e*erythi!g up has bee! a "el$oe distra$tio!, a!d 8 tired% 8 "a!t a good !ights sleep% 8 s!uggle
i!to y bed a!d a soo! asleep%
.aul is ba$# fro .ri!$eto! before he sets off for +e" Jor# to start a! i!ter!ship "ith a
fi!a!$i!g $opa!y% 3e follo"s e rou!d the store all day as#i!g e for a date% 8ts a!!oyi!g%
G.aul, for the hu!dredth tie, 8 ha*e a date this e*e!i!g%H
G+o, you do!t, youre @ust sayi!g that to a*oid e% Joure al"ays a*oidi!g e%H
)es0 you*d thin( you*d ta(e the hint.
G.aul, 8 !e*er thought it "as a good idea to date the bosss brother%H
GJoure fi!ishi!g here o! Friday% Joure !ot "or#i!g toorro"%H
G&!d 8ll be i! Seattle as of Saturday a!d youll be i! +e" Jor# soo!% We $ould!t get u$h
further apart if "e tried% 0esides, 8 do ha*e a date this e*e!i!g%H
GWith JosNO222PIH
G+o%H
GWho the!IH
G.aulL oh%H =y sigh is e1asperated% 3es !ot goi!g to let this go% GChristia! >rey%H 8 $a!!ot
help the a!!oya!$e i! y *oi$e% 0ut it does the tri$#% .auls outh falls ope!, a!d he gapes at e,
stru$# dub% 3uph C e*e! his name re!ders people spee$hless%
GJou ha*e a date "ith Christia! >rey,H he says fi!ally, o!$e hes o*er the sho$#% <isbelief is
e*ide!t i! his *oi$e%
GJes%H
G8 see%H .aul loo#s positi*ely $restfalle!, stu!!ed e*e!, a!d a *ery sall part rese!ts that he
should fi!d this a surprise% =y i!!er goddess does too% She a#es a *ery *ulgar a!d u!attra$ti*e
gesture at hi "ith her fi!gers%
&fter that, he ig!ores e, a!d at fi*e 8 a out of the door, pro!to%
Eate has le!t e t"o dresses a!d t"o pairs of shoes for to!ight a!d for graduatio! toorro"%
8 "ish 8 $ould feel ore e!thused about $lothes a!d a#e a! e1tra effort, but $lothes are @ust !ot y
thi!g% #hat is your thing Anastasia. Christia!s softly spo#e! Buestio! hau!ts e% Sha#i!g y
head a!d e!dea*ori!g to Buell y !er*es, 8 de$ide o! the plu9$olored sheath dress for this
e*e!i!g% 8ts deure a!d *aguely busi!ess9li#e C after all, 8 a !egotiati!g a $o!tra$t%
8 sho"er, sha*e y legs a!d u!derars, "ash y hair, a!d the! spe!d a good half9hour
dryi!g it so that it falls i! soft "a*es to y breasts a!d do"! y ba$#% 8 slip a $ob i! to #eep o!e
side off y fa$e a!d apply as$ara a!d soe lip9gloss% 8 rarely "ear a#e9up C it i!tiidates e%
+o!e of y literary heroi!es had to deal "ith a#e9up C aybe 8d #!o" ore about it if they had%
8 slip o! the plu9$olored stilettos that at$h the dress, a!d 8 ready by si19thirty%
GWellIH 8 as# Eate%
She gri!s%
G0oy, you s$rub up "ell, &!a%H She !ods "ith appro*al% GJou loo# hot%H
G3otK 8 aii!g for deure a!d busi!ess9li#e%H
GThat too, but ost of all, hot% The dress really suits you a!d your $olori!g% The "ay it
$li!gs%H She sir#s%
GEateKH 8 s$old%
GJust #eepi!g it real, &!a% The "hole pa$#age C loo#s good% Eeep the dress% Joull ha*e hi
eati!g out of your ha!d%H
=y outh presses i! a hard li!e% Oh you so ha6e that the wrong way round.
GWish e lu$#%H
GJou !eed lu$# for a dateIH 3er bro" furro"s, puFFled%
GJes, Eate%H
GWell the! C good lu$#%H She hugs e, a!d 8 a out the fro!t door%
8 ha*e to dri*e i! y bare feet C Wa!da, y sea9blue 0eetle, "as!t built to be dri*e! by
stiletto9"earers% 8 pull up outside the 3eatha! at si19fifty9eight pre$isely a!d ha!d y $ar #eys to
the *alet for par#i!g% 3e loo#s as#a!$e at y 0eetle, but 8 ig!ore hi% Ta#i!g a deep breath a!d
e!tally girdi!g y loi!s, 8 head i!to the hotel%
Christia! is lea!i!g $asually agai!st the bar, dri!#i!g a glass of "hite "i!e% 3es dressed i!
his $ustoary "hite li!e! shirt, bla$# @ea!s, bla$# tie, a!d bla$# @a$#et% 3is hair is as tousled as
e*er% 8 sigh% /f $ourse he loo#s gorgeous% 8 sta!d for a fe" se$o!ds i! the e!tra!$e of the bar, gaFi!g
at hi, adiri!g the *ie"% 3e is beyo!d beautiful% 3e gla!$es, !er*ously 8 thi!#, to"ard the
e!tra!$e a!d stills "he! he sees e% 0li!#i!g a $ouple of ties, he the! siles a slo", laFy, se1y
sile that re!ders e spee$hless a!d all olte! i!side% =a#i!g a supree effort !ot to bite y lip, 8
o*e for"ard a"are that 8, &!astasia Steele of Clusy*ille, a i! high stilettos% 3e "al#s
gra$efully o*er to eet e%
GJou loo# stu!!i!g,H he ururs as he lea!s do"! to briefly #iss y $hee#% G& dress, =iss
Steele% 8 appro*e%H Ta#i!g y ar, he leads e to a se$luded booth a!d sig!als for the "aiter%
GWhat "ould you li#e to dri!#IH
=y lips Buir# up i! a Bui$#, sly sile as 8 sit a!d slide i!to the booth C "ell, at least hes
as#i!g e%
G8ll ha*e "hat youre ha*i!g, please%H SeeK 8 $a! play !i$e a!d beha*e yself%
&used, he orders a!other glass of Sa!$erre a!d slides i! opposite e%
GThey ha*e a! e1$elle!t "i!e $ellar here,H he says, $o$#i!g his head to o!e side%
.utti!g his elbo"s o! the table, he steeples his fi!gers i! fro!t of his beautiful outh, his gray
eyes ali*e "ith soe u!readable eotio!% &!d there it isL that failiar pull a!d $harge fro hi,
it $o!!e$ts soe"here deep i!side e% 8 shift u!$ofortably u!der his s$ruti!y, y heart
palpitati!g% 8 ust #eep y $ool%
G&re you !er*ousIH he as#s softly%
GJes%H
3e lea!s for"ard%
G=e too,H he "hispers $o!spiratorially% =y eyes shoot up to eet his% 7im. "er6ous.
"e6er. 8 bli!# at hi, a!d he siles his adorable lopsided sile at e% The "aiter arri*es
"ith y "i!e, a sall dish of i1ed !uts, a!d a!other of oli*es%
GSo, ho" are "e goi!g to do thisIH 8 as#% GDu! through y poi!ts o!e by o!eIH
G8patie!t as e*er, =iss Steele%H
GWell, 8 $ould as# you "hat you thought of the "eather todayIH
3e siles, a!d his lo!g fi!gers rea$h do"! to $olle$t a! oli*e% 3e pops it i! his outh, a!d
y eyes li!ger o! his outh, that outh, thats bee! o! eL all parts of e% 8 flush%
G8 thought the "eather "as parti$ularly u!e1$eptio!al today,H he sir#s%
G&re you sir#i!g at e, =r% >reyIH
G8 a, =iss Steele%H
GJou #!o" this $o!tra$t is legally u!e!for$eable%H
G8 a fully a"are of that, =iss Steele%H
GWere you goi!g to tell e that at a!y poi!tIH
3e fro"!s at e%
GJoud thi!# 8d $oer$e you i!to soethi!g you do!t "a!t to do, a!d the! prete!d that 8 ha*e
a legal hold o*er youIH
GWellL yes%H
GJou do!t thi!# *ery highly of e at all, do youIH
GJou ha*e!t a!s"ered y Buestio!%H
G&!astasia, it does!t atter if its legal or !ot% 8t represe!ts a! arra!gee!t that 8 "ould li#e
to a#e "ith you C "hat 8 "ould li#e fro you a!d "hat you $a! e1pe$t fro e% 8f you do!t li#e
it, the! do!t sig!% 8f you do sig!, a!d the! de$ide you do!t li#e it, there are e!ough get9out $lauses
so you $a! "al# a"ay% E*e! if it "ere legally bi!di!g, do you thi!# 8d drag you through the $ourts
if you did de$ide to ru!IH
8 ta#e a lo!g draft of y "i!e% =y sub$o!s$ious taps e hard o! the shoulder% Jou ust #eep
your "its about you% 4on*t drin( too much.
GDelatio!ships li#e this are built o! ho!esty a!d trust,H he $o!ti!ues% G8f you do!t trust e C
trust e to #!o" ho" 8 affe$ti!g you, ho" far 8 $a! go "ith you, ho" far 8 $a! ta#e you C if you
$a!t be ho!est "ith e, the! "e really $a!t do this%H
Oh my "e*e $ut to the $hase Bui$#ly% 7ow far he can ta(e me. 3oly shit% What does that
ea!I
GSo its Buite siple, &!astasia% <o you trust e or !otIH 3is eyes are bur!i!g, fer*e!t%G<id
you ha*e siilar dis$ussio!s "ith uL the fiftee!IH
G+o%H
GWhy !otIH
G0e$ause they "ere all established subissi*es% They #!e" "hat they "a!ted out of a
relatio!ship "ith e a!d ge!erally "hat 8 e1pe$ted% With the, it "as @ust a Buestio! of fi!e9tu!i!g
the soft liits, details li#e that%H
G8s there a store you go toI Subissi*es D 5sIH
3e laughs%
G+ot e1a$tly%H
GThe! ho"IH
G8s that "hat you "a!t to dis$ussI /r shall "e get do"! to the !itty9grittyI Jour issues, as
you say%H
8 s"allo"% 4o I trust him. 8s that "hat this all $oes do"! to C trustI Surely that should be a
t"o9"ay thi!g% 8 reeber his s!it "he! 8 pho!ed JosNO222P%
G&re you hu!gryIH he as#s, distra$ti!g e fro y thoughts%
Oh no0 food.
G+o%H
G3a*e you eate! todayIH
8 stare at hi% 7onesty0 3oly $rap, hes !ot goi!g to li#e y a!s"er%
G+o%H =y *oi$e is sall%
3e !arro"s his eyes%
GJou ha*e to eat, &!astasia% We $a! eat do"! here or i! y suite% What "ould you preferIH
G8 thi!# "e should stay i! publi$, o! !eutral grou!d%H
3e siles sardo!i$ally%
G<o you thi!# that "ould stop eIH he says softly, a se!sual "ar!i!g%
=y eyes "ide!, a!d 8 s"allo" agai!%
G8 hope so%H
GCoe, 8 ha*e a pri*ate di!i!g roo boo#ed% +o publi$%H 3e siles at e e!igati9$ally a!d
$libs out of the booth, holdi!g his ha!d out to e%
G0ri!g your "i!e,H he ururs%
.la$i!g y ha!d i! his, 8 slide out a!d sta!d up beside hi% 3e releases e, a!d his ha!d
rea$hes for y elbo"% 3e leads e ba$# through the bar a!d up the gra!d stairs to a eFFa!i!e
floor% & you!g a! i! full 3eatha! li*ery approa$hes us%
G=r% >rey, this "ay sir%H
We follo" hi through a plush seati!g area to a! i!tiate di!i!g roo% =ust one secluded
ta,le. The roo is sall but suptuous% 0e!eath a shieri!g $ha!delier, the table is all star$hed
li!e!, $rystal glasses, sil*er $utlery, a!d "hite rose bouBuet% &! old9"orld, sophisti$ated $har
per*ades the "ood9pa!eled roo% The "aiter pulls out y $hair, a!d 8 sit% 3e pla$es y !ap#i! i!
y lap% Christia! sits opposite e% 8 pee# up at hi%G<o!t bite your lip,H he "hispers%
8 fro"!% <a! it% 8 do!t e*e! #!o" that 8 doi!g it%
G8*e ordered already% 8 hope you do!t i!d%H
Fra!#ly, 8 relie*ed, 8 !ot sure 8 $a! a#e a!y further de$isio!s%
G+o, thats fi!e,H 8 a$Buies$e%
G8ts good to #!o" that you $a! be ae!able% +o", "here "ere "eIH
GThe !itty9gritty%H 8 ta#e a!other large sip of "i!e% 8t really is deli$ious% Christia! >rey does
"i!e "ell% 8 reeber the last sip of "i!e he ga*e e, i! y bed% 8 blush at the i!trusi*e thought%
GJes, your issues%H 3e fishes i!to his i!side @a$#et po$#et a!d pulls out a pie$e of paper%
=y eail%
GClause 2% &greed% This is for the be!efit of us both% 8 shall redraft%H
8 bli!# at hi% 3oly shitL "e are goi!g to go through ea$h of these poi!ts o!e at a tie% 8 @ust
do!t feel so bra*e fa$e to fa$e% 3e loo#s so ear!est% 8 steel yself "ith a!other sip of y "i!e%
Christia! $o!ti!ues%
G=y se1ual health% Well, all of y pre*ious part!ers ha*e had blood tests, a!d 8 ha*e regular
tests e*ery si1 o!ths for all the health ris#s you e!tio!% &ll y re$e!t tests are $lear% 8 ha*e !e*er
ta#e! drugs% 8! fa$t, 8 *ehee!tly a!ti9drugs% 8 ha*e a stri$t !o9tolera!$e poli$y "ith regards to
drugs for all y eployees, a!d 8 i!sist o! ra!do drug testi!g%H
Wo"L $o!trol frea#ery go!e ad% 8 bli!# at hi sho$#ed%
G8 ha*e !e*er had a!y blood tra!sfusio!s% <oes that a!s"er your Buestio!IH
8 !od, ipassi*e%
GJour !e1t poi!t 8 e!tio!ed earlier% Jou $a! "al# a"ay a!y tie, &!astasia% 8 "o!t stop
you% 8f you go, ho"e*er C thats it% Just so you #!o"%H
G/#ay,H 8 a!s"er softly% 8f 8 go, thats it% The thought is surprisi!gly pai!ful%
The "aiter arri*es "ith our first $ourse% 3o" $a! 8 possibly eatI 3oly =oses C hes ordered
oysters o! a bed of i$e%
G8 hope you li#e oysters,H Christia!s *oi$e is soft%
G8*e !e*er had o!e%H E*er%
GDeallyI Well%H 3e rea$hes for o!e% G&ll you do is tip a!d s"allo"% 8 thi!# you $a! a!age
that%H 3e gaFes at e, a!d 8 #!o" "hat hes referri!g to% 8 blush s$arlet% 3e gri!s at e, sBuirts
soe leo! @ui$e o!to his oyster, a!d the! tips it i!to his outh%
G3, deli$ious% Tastes of the sea,H he gri!s at e% G>o o!,H he e!$ourages%
GSo, 8 do!t $he" itIH
G+o, &!astasia, you do!t%H 3is eyes are alight "ith huor% 3e loo#s so you!g li#e this% 8 bite
y lip, a!d his e1pressio! $ha!ges i!sta!tly% 3e loo#s ster!ly at e% 8 rea$h a$ross a!d pi$# up y
first e*er oyster% /#ayL here goes !othi!g% 8 sBuirt soe leo! @ui$e o! it a!d tip it up% 8t slips
do"! y throat, all sea"ater, salt, the sharp ta!g of $itrus, a!d fleshi!essL ooh% 8 li$# y lips, a!d
hes "at$hi!g e i!te!tly, his eyes hooded%
GWellIH
G8ll ha*e a!other,H 8 say dryly%
G>ood girl,H he says proudly%
G<id you $hoose these deliberatelyI &re!t they #!o"! for their aphrodisia$ BualitiesIHG+o,
they are the first ite o! the e!u% 8 do!t !eed a! aphrodisia$ !ear you% 8 thi!# you #!o" that, a!d
8 thi!# you rea$t the sae "ay !ear e,H he says siply% GSo "here "ere "eIH 3e gla!$es at y
eail as 8 rea$h for a!other oyster%
7e reacts the same way. I affect him0 wow.
G/bey e i! all thi!gs% Jes, 8 "a!t you to do that% 8 !eed you to do that% Thi!# of it as role9
play &!astasia%H
G0ut 8 "orried youll hurt e%H
G3urt you ho"IH
G.hysi$ally%H And emotionally.
G<o you really thi!# 8 "ould do thatI >o beyo!d a!y liit you $a!t ta#eIH
GJou*e said you*e hurt soeo!e before%H
GJes, 8 ha*e% 8t "as a lo!g tie ago%H
G3o" did you hurt theIH
G8 suspe!ded the fro y playroo $eili!g% 8! fa$t, thats o!e of your Buestio!s%
Suspe!sio! C thats "hat the #arabi!ers are for i! the playroo% Dope play% /!e of the ropes
"as tied too tightly%H
8 hold y ha!d up beggi!g hi to stop%
G8 do!t !eed to #!o" a!y ore% So you "o!t suspe!d e the!IH
G+ot if you really do!t "a!t to% Jou $a! a#e that a hard liit%H
G/#ay%H
GSo obeyi!g, do you thi!# you $a! a!age thatIH
3e stares at e, his gray eyes i!te!se% The se$o!ds ti$# by%
G8 $ould try,H 8 "hisper%
G>ood%H 3e siles% G+o" ter% /!e o!th i!stead of three is !o tie at all, espe$ially if you
"a!t a "ee#e!d a"ay fro e ea$h o!th% 8 do!t thi!# 8ll be able to stay a"ay fro you for that
le!gth of tie% 8 $a! barely a!age it !o",H he pauses%
7e can*t stay away from me. #hat.
G3o" about, o!e day o*er o!e "ee#e!d per o!th you get to yourself C but 8 get a id"ee#
!ight that "ee#IH
G/#ay%H
G&!d please, lets try it for three o!ths% 8f its !ot for you the!, you $a! "al# a"ay a!ytie%H
GThree o!thsIH 8 feeli!g railroaded% 8 ta#e a!other large sip of "i!e a!d treat yself to
a!other oyster% 8 $ould lear! to li#e these%
GThe o"!ership thi!g, thats @ust teri!ology a!d goes ba$# to the pri!$iple of obeyi!g% 8ts to
get you i!to the right frae of i!d, to u!dersta!d "here 8 $oi!g fro%
&!d 8 "a!t you to #!o" that as soo! as you $ross y threshold as y subissi*e, 8 "ill do
"hat 8 li#e to you% Jou ha*e to a$$ept that a!d "illi!gly% Thats "hy you ha*e to trust e%
8 "ill fu$# you, a!y tie, a!y "ay, 8 "a!t C a!y"here 8 "a!t% 8 "ill dis$ipli!e you, be$ause
you "ill s$re" up% 8 "ill trai! you to please e% 0ut 8 #!o" you*e !ot do!e this before%
8!itially, "ell ta#e it slo"ly, a!d 8 "ill help you% Well build up to *arious s$e!arios% 8 "a!t
you to trust e, but 8 #!o" 8 ha*e to ear! your trust, a!d 8 "ill% The Gor other"iseH
C agai! its to help you get i!to the i!dset, it ea!s a!ythi!g goes%H
3es so passio!ate, eseriFi!g% This is ob*iously his obsessio!, the "ay he isL 8 $a!t ta#e
y eyes off hi% 3e really, really "a!ts this% 3e stops tal#i!g a!d gaFes at e%
GStill "ith eIH he "hispers, his *oi$e ri$h, "ar a!d sedu$ti*e% 3e ta#es a sip of his "i!e,
his pe!etrati!g stare holdi!g i!e%
The "aiter $oes to the door, a!d Christia! subtly !ods peritti!g the "aiter to $lear our
table%
GWould you li#e soe ore "i!eIH
G8 ha*e to dri*e%H
GSoe "ater the!IH
8 !od%
GStill or spar#li!gIH
GSpar#li!g, please%H
The "aiter lea*es%
GJoure *ery Buiet,H Christia! "hispers%
GJoure *ery *erbose%H
3e siles%
G<is$ipli!e% Theres a *ery fi!e li!e bet"ee! pleasure a!d pai! &!astasia% They are t"o sides
of the sae $oi!, o!e !ot e1isti!g "ithout the other% 8 $a! sho" you ho" pleasurable pai! $a! be%
Jou do!t belie*e e !o", but this is "hat 8 ea! about trust% There "ill be pai!, but !othi!g that
you $a!t ha!dle% &gai!, it $oes do"! to trust% 4o you trust e, &!aIH
Ana&
GJes, 8 do%H 8 respo!d spo!ta!eously, !ot thi!#i!gL be$ause its true C 8 do trust hi%
GWell the!,H he loo#s relie*ed% GThe rest of this stuff is @ust details%H
G8porta!t details%H
G/#ay, lets tal# through those%H
=y head is s"ii!g "ith all his "ords% 8 should ha*e brought Eates i!i dis$ player so 8
$a! liste! ba$# to this% There is so u$h i!foratio!, so u$h to pro$ess% The "aiter re9eerges
"ith our e!trees: bla$# $od, asparagus, a!d $rushed potatoes "ith a hol9la!daise sau$e% 8 ha*e !e*er
felt less li#e food%
G8 hope you li#e fish,H Christia! says ildly%
8 a#e a stab at y food a!d ta#e a lo!g dri!# of y spar#li!g "ater% 8 *ehee!tly "ish it
"as "i!e%
GThe rules% Lets tal# about the% The food is a deal brea#erIH
GJes%H
GCa! 8 odify to say that you "ill eat at least three eals a dayIH
G+o%H 8 a so !ot ba$#i!g do"! o! this% +o o!e is goi!g to di$tate to e "hat 8 eat%
3o" 8 fu$#, yes, but eatL !o, !o "ay%
3e purses his lips%
G8 !eed to #!o" that youre !ot hu!gry%H
8 fro"!% #hy.
GJoull ha*e to trust e%H
3e gaFes at e for a oe!t, a!d he rela1es%
GTou$hNO222P, =iss Steele,H he says Buietly% G8 $o!$ede the food a!d the sleep%H
GWhy $a!t 8 loo# at youIH
GThats a <o?sub thi!g% Joull get used to it%H
#ill I.
GWhy $a!t 8 tou$h youIH
G0e$ause you $a!t%H
3is outh sets i! a ulish li!e%
G8s it be$ause of =rs% Dobi!so!IH
3e loo#s BuiFFi$ally at e%
GWhy "ould you thi!# thatIH &!d iediately he u!dersta!ds% GJou thi!# she trau9atiFed
eIH
8 !od%
G+o &!astasia% Shes !ot the reaso!% 0esides, =rs% Dobi!so! "ould!t ta#e a!y of that shit
fro e%H
Oh0 ,ut I ha6e to. 8 pout%
GSo !othi!g to do "ith her%H
G+o% &!d 8 do!t "a!t you tou$hi!g yourself, either%H
#hat. &h yes, the !o asturbatio! $lause%
G/ut of $uriosityL "hyIH
G0e$ause 8 "a!t all your pleasure,H his *oi$e is hus#y, but deteri!ed%
Oh L 8 ha*e !o a!s"er for that% /! o!e le*el its up there "ith, M8 "a!t to bite that lip, o!
a!other, its so selfish% 8 fro"! a!d ta#e a bite of $od, tryi!g to assess e!tally "hat $o!$essio!s
8*e gai!ed% The food, the sleep, 8 $a! loo# hi i! the eye% 3es goi!g to ta#e it slo", a!d "e
ha*e!t dis$ussed soft liits% 0ut 8 !ot sure 8 $a! fa$e that o*er food%
G8*e gi*e! you a great deal to thi!# about ha*e!t 8IH
GJes%H
G<o you "a!t to go through the soft liits !o" tooIH
G+ot o*er di!!er%H
3e siles%
GSBueaishIH
GSoethi!g li#e that%H
GJou*e !ot eate! *ery u$h%H
G8*e had e!ough%H
GThree oysters, four bites of $od, a!d o!e asparagus stal#, !o potatoes, !o !uts, !o oli*es, a!d
you*e !ot eate! all day% Jou said 8 $ould trust you%H
JeeF% 3es #ept a! i!*e!tory%
GChristia!, please, its !ot e*ery day 8 sit through $o!*ersatio!s li#e this%H
G8 !eed you fit a!d healthy &!astasia%H
G8 #!o"%H
G&!d right !o", 8 "a!t to peel you out of that dress%H
8 s"allo"% /eel me out of !ate*s dress. 8 feel the pull deep i! y belly% =us$les that 8 !o"
ore a$Buai!ted "ith $le!$h at his "ords% 0ut 8 $a!t ha*e this% 3is ost pote!t "eapo!, used
agai!st e agai!% 3es so good at se1 C e*e! 8*e figured this out%
G8 do!t thi!# thats a good idea,H 8 urur Buietly% GWe ha*e!t had dessert%H
GJou "a!t dessertIH he s!orts%
GJes%H
GJou $ould be dessert,H he ururs suggesti*ely%
G8 !ot sure 8 s"eet e!ough%H
G&!astasia, youre deli$iously s"eet% 8 #!o"%H
GChristia!% Jou use se1 as a "eapo!% 8t really is!t fair,H 8 "hisper, stari!g do"! at y ha!ds,
a!d the! loo#i!g dire$tly at hi% 3e raises his eyebro"s, surprised, a!d 8 see hes $o!sideri!g y
"ords% 3e stro#es his $hi! thoughtfully%
GJoure right% 8 do% 8! life you use "hat you #!o", &!astasia% <oes!t $ha!ge ho" u$h 8
"a!t you% 3ere% +o"%H
3o" $a! he sedu$e e solely "ith his *oi$eI 8 pa!ti!g already C y heated blood rushi!g
through y *ei!s, y !er*es ti!gli!g%
G8d li#e to try soethi!g,H he breathes%
8 fro"!% 3es @ust gi*e! e a shit load of ideas to pro$ess a!d !o" this%
G8f you "ere y sub, you "ould!t ha*e to thi!# about this% 8t "ould be easy%H 3is *oi$e is
soft, sedu$ti*e% G&ll those de$isio!s C all the "earyi!g thought pro$esses behi!d the% The C is this
the right thi!g to doI Should this happe! hereI Ca! it happe! !o"I
Jou "ould!t ha*e to "orry about a!y of that detail% Thats "hat 8d do as your <o% &!d
right !o", 8 #!o" you "a!t e, &!astasia%H
=y fro"! deepe!s% 3o" $a! he tellI
G8 $a! tell be$auseL H
7oly shit he*s answering my unspo(en 3uestion % 8s he psy$hi$ as "ellI
GL Jour body gi*es you a"ay% Joure pressi!g your thighs together, youre flushed, a!d your
breathi!g has $ha!ged%H
O this is too much.
G3o" do you #!o" about y thighsIH =y *oi$e is lo", disbelie*i!g% Theyre u!der the table
for hea*e!s sa#e%
G8 felt the table$loth o*e, a!d its a $al$ulated guess based o! years of e1perie!$e%
8 right are!t 8IH
8 flush a!d stare do"! at y ha!ds% Thats "hat 8 hi!dered by i! this gae of sedu$tio!%
3es the o!ly o!e "ho #!o"s a!d u!dersta!ds the rules% 8 @ust too !aNO22'P*e a!d
i!e1perie!$ed% =y o!ly sphere of refere!$e is Eate, a!d she does!t ta#e a!y shit fro e!% =y
other refere!$es are all fi$tio!al: EliFabeth 0e!!ett "ould be outraged, Ja!e Eyre too frighte!ed,
a!d Tess "ould su$$ub, @ust as 8 ha*e%
G8 ha*e!t fi!ished y $od%H
GJoud prefer $old $od to eIH
=y head @er#s up to glare at hi, a!d his gray eyes bur! olte! sil*er, "ith $opelli!g !eed%
G8 thought you li#ed e $leari!g y plate%H
GDight !o", =iss Steele, 8 $ould!t gi*e a fu$# about your food%H
GChristia!% Jou @ust do!t fight fair%H
G8 #!o"% 8 !e*er ha*e%H
=y i!!er goddess fro"!s at e% Jou $a! do this, she $oa1es C play this se1 god at his o"!
gae% Can I. /#ay% What to doI =y i!e1perie!$e is a! albatross arou!d y !e$#%
.i$#i!g up a spear of asparagus, 8 gaFe at hi a!d bite y lip% The! *ery slo"ly put the tip of
y $old asparagus i! y outh a!d su$# it%
Christia!s eyes "ide! i!fi!itesially, but 8 !oti$e%
G&!astasia% What are you doi!gIH
8 bite off the tip%
GEati!g y asparagus%H
Christia! shifts i! his seat%
G8 thi!# youre toyi!g "ith e, =iss Steele%H
8 feig! i!!o$e!$e%
G8 @ust fi!ishi!g y food, =r% >rey%H
The "aiter $hooses this oe!t to #!o$# a!d, u!bidde!, e!ter% 3e gla!$es briefly at
Christia!, "ho fro"!s at hi but the! !ods, so the "aiter $lears our plates% The "aiters arri*al has
bro#e! the spell% &!d 8 grasp this pre$ious oe!t of $larity% 8 ha*e to go% /ur eeti!g "ill o!ly
e!d o!e "ay if 8 stay, a!d 8 !eed soe bou!daries after su$h a! i!te!se $o!*ersatio!% &s u$h as
y body $ra*es his tou$h, y i!d is rebelli!g% 8 !eed soe dista!$e to thi!# about all hes said% 8
still ha*e!t ade a de$isio!, a!d his se1ual allure a!d pro"ess does!t a#e it a!y easier%
GWould you li#e soe dessertIH Christia! as#s, e*er the ge!tlea!, but his eyes still blaFe%
G+o, tha!# you% 8 thi!# 8 should go%H 8 stare do"! at y ha!ds%
G>oIH 3e $a!t hide his surprise%
The "aiter lea*es hastily%
GJes%H 8ts the right de$isio!% 8f 8 stay here, i! this roo "ith hi, he "ill fu$# e% 8 sta!d,
purposefully% GWe both ha*e the graduatio! $ereo!y toorro"%H
Christia! sta!ds autoati$ally, re*eali!g years of i!grai!ed $i*ility%
G8 do!t "a!t you to go%H
G.leaseL 8 ha*e to%H
GWhyIH
G0e$ause you*e gi*e! e so u$h to $o!siderL a!d 8 !eed soe dista!$e%H
G8 $ould a#e you stay,H he threate!s%
GJes, you $ould easily, but 8 do!t "a!t you to%H
3e ru!s his ha!d through his hair, regardi!g e $arefully%
GJou #!o", "he! you fell i!to y offi$e to i!ter*ie" e, you "ere all yes sir, !o sir%
8 thought you "ere a !atural bor! subissi*e% 0ut Buite fra!#ly, &!astasia, 8 !ot sure you
ha*e a subissi*e bo!e i! your dele$table body%H 3e o*es slo"ly to"ard e as his spea#s, his
*oi$e te!se%
GJou ay be right,H 8 breathe%
G8 "a!t the $ha!$e to e1plore the possibility that you do,H he ururs, stari!g do"! at e%
3e rea$hes up a!d $aresses y fa$e, his thub tra$i!g y lo"er lip% G8 do!t #!o" a!y other "ay,
&!astasia% This is "ho 8 a%H
G8 #!o"%H
3e lea!s do"! to #iss e, but pauses before his lips tou$h i!e, his eyes sear$hi!g i!e,
"a!ti!g, as#i!g perissio!% 8 raise y lips to his, a!d he #isses e a!d be$ause 8 do!t #!o" if 8ll
e*er #iss hi agai!, 8 let go C y ha!ds o*i!g of their o"! a$$ord a!d t"isti!g i!to his hair,
pulli!g hi to e, y outh ope!i!g, y to!gue stro#i!g his% 3is ha!d grasps the !ape of y !e$#
as he deepe!s the #iss, respo!di!g to y ardor% 3is other ha!d slides do"! y ba$# a!d flatte!s at
the base of y spi!e as he pushes e agai!st his body%G8 $a!t persuade you to stayIH he breathes
bet"ee! #isses%
G+o%H
GSpe!d the !ight "ith e%H
G&!d !ot tou$h youI +o%H
3e groa!s%
GJou ipossible girl%H 3e pulls ba$#, gaFi!g do"! at e% GWhy do 8 thi!# youre telli!g e
goodbyeIH
G0e$ause 8 lea*i!g !o"%H
GThats !ot "hat 8 ea!, a!d you #!o" it%H
GChristia!, 8 ha*e to thi!# about this% 8 do!t #!o" if 8 $a! ha*e the #i!d of relatio!ship you
"a!t%H
3e $loses his eyes a!d presses his forehead agai!st i!e, gi*i!g us both the opportu!ity to
slo" our breathi!g% &fter a oe!t, he #isses y forehead, i!hales deeply, his !ose i! y hair, a!d
the! he releases e, steppi!g ba$#%
G&s you "ish, =iss Steele,H he says, his fa$e ipassi*e% G8ll es$ort you to the lobby%H
3e holds out his ha!d% Lea!i!g do"!, 8 grab y purse a!d pla$e y ha!d i! his% 7oly crap
this could ,e it. 8 follo" hi ee#ly do"! the gra!d stairs a!d i!to the lobby, y s$alp pri$#li!g,
y blood pupi!g% This $ould be the last goodbye if 8 de$ide to say !o%
=y heart $o!tra$ts pai!fully i! y $hest% What a tur!arou!d% What a differe!$e a oe!t of
$larity $a! a#e to a girl%
G<o you ha*e your *alet ti$#etIH
8 fish i!to y $lut$h purse a!d ha!d hi the ti$#et, "hi$h he gi*es to the doora!% 8 pee# up
at hi as "e sta!d "aiti!g%
GTha!# you for di!!er,H 8 urur%
G8ts a pleasure as al"ays, =iss Steele,H he says politely, though he loo#s deep i! thought,
$opletely distra$ted%
&s 8 peer up at hi, 8 $oit his beautiful profile to eory% The idea that 8 ight !ot see
hi agai! hau!ts e, u!"el$oe a!d too pai!ful to $o!teplate% 3e tur!s sudde!ly, stari!g do"!
at e, his e1pressio! i!te!se%
GJoure o*i!g this "ee#e!d to Seattle% 8f you a#e the right de$isio!, $a! 8 see you o!
Su!dayIH 3e sou!ds hesita!t%
GWell see% =aybe,H 8 breathe% =oe!tarily, he loo#s relie*ed, a!d the! he fro"!s%
G8ts $ooler !o", do!t you ha*e a @a$#etIH
G+o%H
3e sha#es his head i! irritatio! a!d ta#es off his @a$#et%
G3ere% 8 do!t "a!t you $at$hi!g $old%H
8 bli!# up at hi as he holds it ope!, a!d as 8 hold y ars out behi!d e, 8 rei!ded of
the tie i! his offi$e "he! he slipped y $oat o!to y shoulders C the first tie 8 et hi C a!d
the effe$t he had o! e the!% +othi!gs $ha!ged, i! fa$t, its ore i!te!se%
3is @a$#et is "ar, far too big, a!d it sells of hi% Oh my0 deli$ious%
=y $ar pulls up outside% Christia!s outh drops ope!%
GThats "hat you dri*eIH 3es appalled% Ta#i!g y ha!d, he leads e outside% The *alet
@ups out a!d ha!ds e y #eys, a!d Christia! $oolly pals hi soe o!ey%
G8s this road"orthyIH 3es glari!g at e !o"%
GJes%H
GWill it a#e it to SeattleIH
GJes% She "ill%H
GSafelyIH
GJes,H 8 s!ap, e1asperated% G/#ay shes old% 0ut shes i!e, a!d shes road"orthy%
=y stepdad bought it for e%H
G/h, &!astasia, 8 thi!# "e $a! do better tha! this%H
GWhat do you ea!IH DealiFatio! da"!s% GJou are not buyi!g e a $ar%H
3e glo"ers at e, his @a" te!se%
GWell see,H he says tightly%
3e gria$es as he ope!s the dri*ers door a!d helps e i!% 8 ta#e y shoes off a!d roll do"!
the "i!do"% 3es gaFi!g at e, his e1pressio! u!fathoable, eyes dar#%
G<ri*e safely,H he says Buietly%
G>oodbye, Christia!%H =y *oi$e is hoarse fro u!bidde!, u!shed tears C +ee: I*m not going
to cry. 8 gi*e hi a sall sile%
&s 8 dri*e a"ay, y $hest $o!stri$ts, y tears start to fall, a!d 8 $ho#e ba$# a sob%
Soo! tears are streai!g do"! y fa$e, a!d 8 really do!t u!dersta!d "hy 8 $ryi!g% 8 "as
holdi!g y o"!% 3e e1plai!ed e*erythi!g% 3e "as $lear% 3e "a!ts e, but the truth is, 8 !eed ore%
8 !eed hi to "a!t e li#e 8 "a!t a!d !eed hi, a!d deep do"! 8 #!o" thats !ot possible% 8 a
@ust o*er"heled%
8 do!t e*e! #!o" ho" to $ategoriFe hi% 8f 8 do this thi!gL "ill he be y boyfrie!dI
Will 8 be able to i!trodu$e hi to y frie!dsI >o out to bars, the $i!ea, bo"li!g e*e!, "ith
hiI The truth is, 8 do!t thi!# 8 "ill% 3e "o!t let e tou$h hi a!d he "o!t let e sleep "ith
hi% 8 #!o" 8*e !ot had these thi!gs i! y past, but 8 "a!t the i! y future%
&!d thats !ot the future he e!*isages%
What if 8 do say yes, a!d i! three o!ths tie he says !o, hes had e!ough of tryi!g to old
e i!to soethi!g 8 !ot% 3o" "ill 8 feelI 8ll ha*e eotio!ally i!*ested three o!ths, doi!g
thi!gs that 8 !ot sure 8 "a!t to do% &!d if he the! says !o, agreee!t o*er, ho" $ould 8 $ope "ith
that le*el of re@e$tio!I .erhaps its best to ba$# a"ay !o" "ith "hat self9estee 8 ha*e reaso!ably
i!ta$t%
0ut the thought of !ot seei!g hi agai! is ago!iFi!g% 3o" has he gotte! u!der y s#i! so
Bui$#lyI 8t $a!t @ust be the se1L $a! itI 8 dash the tears fro y eyes% 8 do!t "a!t to e1ai!e y
feeli!gs for hi% 8 frighte!ed "hat 8ll u!$o*er if 8 do% #hat am I going to do.
8 par# up outside our duple1% +o lights o!% Eate ust be out% 8 relie*ed% 8 do!t "a!t her to
$at$h e $ryi!g agai!% &s 8 u!dress, 8 "a#e up the ea! a$hi!e a!d sitti!g i! y i!bo1 is a
essage fro Christia!%
)rom: Christia! >rey
S1b2ect: To!ight
"ate: =ay 24 2011 22:01
$o: &!astasia Steele
8 do!t u!dersta!d "hy you ra! this e*e!i!g% 8 si!$erely hope 8 a!s"ered all your Buestio!s to
your satisfa$tio!% 8 #!o" 8 ha*e gi*e! you a great deal to $o!teplate, a!d 8 fer*e!tly hope that you
"ill gi*e y proposal your serious $o!sideratio!% 8 really "a!t to a#e this "or#% We "ill ta#e it
slo"%
Trust e%
Christia! >rey
CE/, >rey E!terprises 3oldi!gs 8!$%
3is eail a#es e "eep ore% 8 a !ot a erger% 8 a !ot a! a$Buisitio!% Deadi!g this, 8
ight as "ell be% 8 do!t reply% 8 @ust do!t #!o" "hat to say to hi% 8 fuble i!to y .Js, a!d
"rappi!g his @a$#et arou!d e% 8 $lib i!to bed% &s 8 lie stari!g i!to the dar#!ess, 8 thi!# of all the
ties he "ar!ed e to stay a"ay%
-Anastasia you should steer clear of me. I*m not the man for you.*
-I don*t do the girlfriend thing.*
-I*m not a hearts and flowers (ind of guy.*
-I don*t ma(e lo6e.*-1his is all I (now.*
&!d as 8 "eep i!to y pillo" sile!tly, its this last idea 8 $li!g to% This is all 8 #!o", too%
.erhaps together "e $a! $hart a !e" $ourse%
Christia! is sta!di!g o*er e graspi!g a plaited, leather ridi!g9$rop% 3es "eari!g old, faded,
ripped Le*is a!d thats all% 3e fli$#s the $rop slo"ly i!to his pal as he gaFes do"! at e% 3es
sili!g, triupha!t% 8 $a!!ot o*e% 8 a !a#ed a!d sha$#led, spread9eagled o! a large four9poster
bed% Dea$hi!g for"ard, he trails the tip of the $rop fro y forehead do"! the le!gth of y !ose,
so 8 $a! sell the leather, a!d o*er y parted, pa!ti!g lips%
3e pushes the tip i!to y outh so 8 $a! taste the sooth, ri$h leather%
GSu$#,H he $oa!ds his *oi$e soft% =y outh $loses o*er the tip as 8 obey%
GE!ough,H he s!aps%
8 pa!ti!g o!$e ore as he tugs the $rop out of y outh, trails it do"! a!d u!der y $hi!,
o! do"! y !e$# to the hollo" at the base of y throat% 3e s"irls it slo"ly there a!d the!
$o!ti!ues to drag the tip do"! y body, alo!g y ster!u, bet"ee! y breasts, o*er y torso
do"! to y !a*el% 8 pa!ti!g, sBuiri!g, pulli!g agai!st y restrai!ts that are biti!g i!to y
"rists a!d y a!#les% 3e s"irls the tip arou!d y !a*el the! $o!ti!ues to trail the leather tip south,
through y pubi$ hair to y $litoris% 3e fli$#s the $rop a!d it hits y s"eet spot "ith a sharp slap,
a!d 8 $oe, gloriously, shouti!g y release%
&bruptly, 8 "a#e, gaspi!g for breath, $o*ered i! s"eat a!d feeli!g the aftersho$#s of y
orgas% 3oly hell% 8 $opletely disorie!tated% #hat the hell +ust happened. 8 i! y bedroo
alo!e% 3o"I WhyI 8 sit bolt upright, sho$#edL "o"% 8ts or!i!g% 8 gla!$e at y alar $lo$# C
eight o$lo$#% 8 put y head i! y ha!ds% 8 did!t #!o" 8 $ould drea se1% Was it soethi!g 8 ateI
.erhaps the oysters a!d y 8!ter!et resear$h a!ifesti!g itself i! y first "et drea% 8ts
be"ilderi!g% 8 had !o idea that 8 $ould orgas i! y sleep%
Eate is s#ippi!g arou!d the #it$he! "he! 8 stagger i!%
G&!a, are you o#ayI Jou loo# odd% 8s that Christia!s @a$#et youre "eari!gIH
G8 fi!e%H <a!, should ha*e $he$#ed i! the irror% 8 a*oid her pier$i!g gree! eyes%
8 still reeli!g fro y or!i!gs e*e!t% GJes, this is Christia!s @a$#et%H
She fro"!s%
G<id you sleepIH
G+ot *ery "ell%H
8 head for the #ettle% 8 !eed tea%
G3o" "as di!!erIH
%o it ,egins.
GWe had oysters% Follo"ed by $od, so 8d say it "as fishy%H
G5ghL 8 hate oysters, a!d 8 do!t "a!t to #!o" about the food% 3o" "as Christia!I
What did you tal# aboutIH
G3e "as atte!ti*e,H 8 pause%
What $a! 8 sayI 3is 38A status is $lear, hes hea*ily i!to role9play, "a!ts e to obey his
e*ery $oa!d, he hurt soeo!e he tied to his bedroo $eili!g, a!d he "a!ted to fu$# e i! the
pri*ate di!i!g roo% Would that be a good suaryI 8 try desperately to reeber soethi!g fro
y e!$ou!ter "ith Christia! that 8 $a! dis$uss "ith Eate%
G3e does!t appro*e of Wa!da%H
GWho does, &!aI Thats old !e"s% Why are you bei!g so $oyI >i*e it up, girlfrie!d%H
G/h, Eate, "e tal#ed about lots thi!gs% Jou #!o" C ho" fussy he is about food% 8!$ide!tally,
he li#ed your dress%H The #ettle has boiled, so 8 a#e yself soe tea% G<o you "a!t teaI Would
you li#e e to hear your spee$h for todayIH
GJes, please% 8 "or#ed o! it last !ight o*er at Lilahs% 8ll go fet$h it% &!d yes, 8d lo*e soe
tea%H Eate ra$es out of the #it$he!%
.he", Eatheri!e Ea*a!agh sidetra$#ed% 8 sli$e a bagel a!d pop it i!to the toaster% 8 flush
reeberi!g y *ery *i*id drea% What o! earth "as that aboutI
Last !ight 8 fou!d it hard to sleep% =y head "as buFFi!g "ith *arious optio!s% 8 a so
$o!fused% Christia!s idea of a relatio!ship is ore li#e a @ob offer% 8t has set hours, a @ob
des$riptio!, a!d a rather harsh grie*a!$e pro$edure% 8ts !ot ho" 8 e!*isaged y first roa!$e C
but, of $ourse, Christia! does!t do roa!$e% 8f 8 tell hi 8 "a!t ore, he ay say !oL a!d 8 $ould
@eopardiFe "hat he has offered% &!d this is "hat $o!$er!s e ost, be$ause 8 do!t "a!t to lose
hi% 0ut 8 !ot sure 8 ha*e the stoa$h to be his subissi*e
C deep do"!, its the $a!es a!d "hips that put e off% 8 a physi$al $o"ard, a!d 8 "ill go a
lo!g "ay to a*oid pai!% 8 thi!# of y dreaL is that what it would ,e li(e. =y i!!er goddess
@ups up a!d do"! "ith $heerleadi!g po9pos shouti!g yes at e%
Eate $oes ba$# i!to the #it$he! "ith her laptop% 8 $o!$e!trate o! y bagel a!d liste!
patie!tly as she ru!s through her Aaledi$toria! spee$h%
8 a dressed a!d ready "he! Day arri*es% 8 ope! the fro!t door, a!d hes sta!di!g o! the
por$h i! his ill9fitti!g suit% & "ar surge of gratitude a!d lo*e for this u!$opli$ated a! strea#s
through e, a!d 8 thro" y ars arou!d hi i! a! u!$hara$teristi$ display of affe$tio!% 3es ta#e!9
aba$#, beused%
G3ey, &!!ie, 8 pleased to see you too,H he utters as he hugs e% Setti!g e ba$#, his
ha!ds o! y shoulders, he loo#s e up a!d do"!, his bro" furro"ed% GJou o#ay, #idIH
G/f $ourse, <ad, $a!t a girl be pleased to see her old a!IH
3e siles, his dar# eyes $ri!#li!g at the $or!ers, a!d follo"s e i!to the li*i!g area%
GJou loo# good,H he says%
GThis is Eates dress%H 8 gla!$e do"! at the grey $hiffo! halter !e$# dress%
3e fro"!s%
GWhere is EateIH
GShes go!e to $apus% Shes gi*i!g a spee$h, so she has to be early%H
GShould "e head o! o*erIH
G<ad, "e ha*e half a! hour% Would you li#e soe teaI &!d you $a! tell e ho" e*eryo!e i!
=o!tesa!o is getti!g alo!g% 3o" "as the dri*e do"!IH
Day pulls his $ar i!to the $apus par#i!g lot, a!d "e follo" the strea of hua!ity dotted
"ith ubiBuitous bla$# a!d red go"!s, headi!g to"ard the sports auditoriu%
G>ood lu$#, &!!ie% Jou see a"fully !er*ous, do you ha*e to do a!ythi!gIH
3oly $rapL "hy has Day pi$#ed today to be so obser*a!tI
G+o, <ad% 8ts a big day%H And I*m going to see him.
GJeah, y baby girl has gotte! a degree% 8 proud of you, &!!ie%H
G&"L tha!#s Day%H /h 8 lo*e this a!%
The sports auditoriu is $ro"ded% Day has go!e to sit "ith the other pare!ts a!d "ell9"ishers
i! the ra#ed seati!g, "hile 8 a#e y "ay to y seat% 8 "eari!g y bla$# go"! a!d y $ap, a!d
8 feel prote$ted by the, a!o!yous% There is !o o!e o! the stage yet, but 8 $a!t see to steady y
!er*es% =y heart is pou!di!g, a!d y breathi!g is shallo"% 3es here, soe"here% 8 "o!der if Eate
is tal#i!g to hi, i!terrogati!g hi aybe%
8 a#e y "ay to y seat ao!gst fello" stude!ts "hose sur!aes also begi! "ith S% 8 a
i! the se$o!d ro", affordi!g e yet ore a!o!yity% 8 gla!$e behi!d e a!d spot Day sat up high
i! the blea$hers% 8 gi*e hi a "a*e% 3e self9$o!s$iously gi*es e a half9"a*e, half9salute ba$#% 8 sit
a!d "ait%
The auditoriu fills Bui$#ly, a!d the buFF of e1$ited *oi$es gets louder a!d louder% The ro" of
seats i! fro!t fills% /! either side of e, 8 a @oi!ed by t"o girls "ho 8 do!t #!o" fro a
differe!t fa$ulty% Theyre ob*iously $lose frie!ds a!d tal# a$ross e e1$itedly%
&t ele*e! pre$isely, the Cha!$ellor appears fro behi!d the stage, follo"ed by the three Ai$e
Cha!$ellors, a!d the! the se!ior professors, all de$#ed out i! their bla$# a!d red regalia% We sta!d
a!d applaud our tea$hi!g staff% Soe .rofessors !od a!d "a*e, others loo# bored% .rofessor
Colli!s, y tutor a!d y fa*orite tea$her, loo#s li#e hes @ust falle! out of bed, as usual% Last o! to
the stage are Eate a!d Christia!% Christia! sta!ds out i! his bespo#e gray suit, $opper highlights
gli!ti!g i! his hair u!der the auditoriu lights% 3e loo#s so serious a!d self9$o!tai!ed% &s he sits, he
u!does his si!gle9breasted @a$#et, a!d 8 glipse his tie% 7oly shit0 that tie& 8 rub y "rists
refle1i*ely% 8 $a!!ot ta#e y eyes off hi C his beauty as distra$ti!g as e*er C a!d hes "eari!g that
tie, o! purpose !o doubt% 8 $a! feel y outh press i!to a hard li!e% The audie!$e sits do"! a!d the
applause $eases%
GLoo# at hiKH /!e of the girls beside e breathes e!thusiasti$ally to her frie!d%
G3es hot%H
8 stiffe!% 8 sure theyre !ot tal#i!g about .rofessor Colli!s%
G=ust be Christia! >rey%H
G8s he si!gleIH
8 bristle%
G8 do!t thi!# so,H 8 urur%
G/h%H 0oth girls loo# at e i! surprise%
G8 thi!# hes gay,H 8 utter%
GWhat a shae,H o!e of the girls groa!s%
&s the Cha!$ellor gets to his feet a!d #i$#s off the pro$eedi!gs "ith his spee$h, 8 "at$h
Christia! subtly s$a!!i!g the hall% 8 si!# i!to y seat, hu!$hi!g y shoulders, tryi!g to a#e
yself as i!$o!spi$uous as possible% 8 fail iserably as a se$o!d later his gray eyes fi!d i!e% 3e
stares at e, his fa$e ipassi*e, $opletely i!s$rutable% 8 sBuir u!$ofortably, hyp!otiFed by his
glare as 8 feel a slo" flush spread a$ross y fa$e% 5!bidde!, 8 re$all y drea fro this or!i!g,
a!d the us$les i! y belly do the dele$table $le!$h thi!g% 8 i!hale sharply% 8 $a! see the shado" of
a sile $ross his lips, but its fleeti!g% 3e briefly $loses his eyes, a!d o! ope!i!g the, resues his
i!differe!t e1pressio!%
Follo"i!g a s"ift gla!$e up at the Cha!$ellor, he stares ahead, fo$usi!g o! the WS5A e9
ble hu!g abo*e the e!tra!$e% 3e does!t tur! his eyes to"ard e agai!% The Cha!$ellor dro!es o!,
a!d Christia! still does!t loo# at e, he @ust stares fi1edly ahead%
Why "o!t he loo# at eI .erhaps hes $ha!ged his i!dI & "a*e of u!ease "ashes o*er e%
.erhaps "al#i!g out o! hi last !ight "as the e!d for hi too% 3es bored of "aiti!g for e to
a#e up y i!d% /h !o, 8 $ould ha*e $opletely blo"! it% 8 reeber his eail last !ight% =aybe
hes ad that 8 ha*e!t replied%
Sudde!ly, the roo erupts i!to applause as =iss Eatheri!e Ea*a!agh has ta#e! the stage% The
Cha!$ellor sits, a!d Eate tosses her lo*ely lo!g hair behi!d her as she pla$es her papers o! the
le$ter!% She ta#es her tie, !ot i!tiidated by a thousa!d people ga"p9i!g at her% She siles "he!
shes ready, loo#s up at the $apti*ated thro!g, a!d lau!$hes eloBue!tly i!to her spee$h% Shes so
$oposed a!d fu!!y, the girls beside e erupt o! $ue at her first @o#e . Oh !atherine !a6anagh
you can deli6er a good line. 8 feel so proud of her at that oe!t, y erra!t thoughts of Christia!
are pushed to o!e side% E*e! though 8 ha*e heard her spee$h before, 8 liste! $arefully% She
$oa!ds the roo a!d ta#es her audie!$e "ith her%
3er thee is What +e1t &fter CollegeI /h, "hat !e1t i!deed% Christia! is "at$hi!g Eate, his
eyebro"s slightly raised C i! surprise, 8 thi!#% Jes, it $ould ha*e bee! Eate that "e!t to i!ter*ie"
hi% &!d it $ould ha*e bee! Eate that he "as !o" a#i!g i!de$e!t proposals to% 0eautiful Eate
a!d beautiful Christia!, together% 8 $ould be li#e the t"o girls beside e, adiri!g hi fro afar% 8
#!o" Eate "ould!t ha*e gi*e! hi the tie of day%
What did she $all hi the other dayI Creepy% The thought of a $o!fro!tatio! bet"ee! Eate
a!d Christia! a#es e u!$ofortable% 8 ha*e to say 8 do!t #!o" "hi$h of the 8 "ould put y
o!ey o!%
Eate $o!$ludes her spee$h "ith a flourish, a!d spo!ta!eously e*eryo!e sta!ds, applaudi!g
a!d $heeri!g, her first sta!di!g o*atio!% 8 bea at her a!d $heer, a!d she gri!s ba$# at e% $ood
+o, !ate. She sits, as does the audie!$e, a!d the Cha!$ellor rises a!d i!trodu$es Christia!L holy
shit Christia!s goi!g to gi*e a spee$h% The Cha!$ellor tou$hes briefly o! Christia!s
a$hie*ee!ts: CE/ of his o"! e1traordi!arily su$$essful $opa!y, a real self9ade a!%
G&!d also a a@or be!efa$tor to our 5!i*ersity, please "el$oe, =r% Christia! >rey%H
The Cha!$ellor pups Christia!s ha!d, a!d there is a s"ell of polite applause% =y hearts i!
y throat% 3e approa$hes the le$ter! a!d sur*eys the hall% 3e loo#s so $o!fide!t sta!di!g i! fro!t of
us all, as Eate did before hi% The t"o girls beside e lea! i!, e!raptured% 8! fa$t, 8 thi!# ost of
the feale ebers of the audie!$e i!$h $loser a!d a fe" of the e!% 3e begi!s, his *oi$e soft,
easured, a!d eseriFi!g%
G8 profou!dly grateful a!d tou$hed by the great $oplie!t a$$orded to e by the
authorities of WS5 today% 8t offers e a rare opportu!ity to tal# about the ipressi*e "or# of the
e!*iro!e!tal s$ie!$e departe!t here at the 5!i*ersity% /ur ai is to de*elop *ia9ble a!d
e$ologi$ally sustai!able ethods of fari!g for third "orld $ou!triesP our ultiate goal is to help
eradi$ate hu!ger a!d po*erty a$ross the globe% /*er a billio! people, ai!ly i! Sub9Sahara! &fri$a,
South &sia, a!d Lati! &eri$a, li*e i! ab@e$t po*erty% &gri$ultural dysfu!$tio! is rife "ithi! these
parts of the "orld a!d the result is e$ologi$al a!d so$ial destru$tio!% 8 ha*e #!o"! "hat its li#e to
be profou!dly hu!gry% This is a *ery perso!al @our!ey for eL H
=y @a" falls to the floor% #hat. Christia! "as hu!gry o!$e% 7oly crap. Well, that e1plai!s
a great deal% &!d 8 re$all the i!ter*ie"P he really does "a!t to feed the "orld% 8 desperately ra$# y
brai!s to reeber "hat Eate had "ritte! i! her arti$le% &dopted at age four, 8 thi!#% 8 $a!t
iagi!e that >ra$e star*ed hi, so it ust ha*e bee! before the!, as a little boy% 8 s"allo", y heart
$o!stri$ti!g at the thought of a hu!gry, gray9eyed toddler%
/h !o% What #i!d of life did he ha*e before the >reys got hold of hi a!d res$ued hiI
8 seiFed by a se!se of ra" outrage, poor, fu$#ed9up, #i!#y, phila!thropi$ Christia! C
though 8 sure he "ould!t see hiself this "ay a!d "ould repel a!y thoughts of sypathy
or pity% &bruptly, e*eryo!e bursts i!to applause a!d sta!ds% 8 follo", though 8 ha*e!t heard half his
spee$h% 3es doi!g all of these good "or#s, ru!!i!g a huge $opa!y, a!d $hasi!g e at the sae
tie% 8ts o*er"heli!g% 8 reeber the brief s!ippets of $o!*ersatio!s hes had about <arfurL it
all falls i!to pla$e% 'ood.
3e siles briefly at the "ar applause C e*e! Eate is $lappi!g, the! he resues his seat% 3e
does!t loo# y "ay, a!d 8 off9#ilter tryi!g to assiilate this !e" i!foratio! about hi%
/!e of the Ai$e Cha!$ellors rises, a!d "e begi! the lo!g, tedious pro$ess of $olle$ti!g our
degrees% There are o*er four hu!dred to be gi*e! out, a!d it ta#es @ust o*er a! hour before 8 hear y
!ae% 8 a#e y "ay up to the stage bet"ee! the t"o giggli!g girls%
Christia! gaFes do"! at e, his gaFe "ar but guarded%
GCo!gratulatio!s, =iss Steele,H he says as he sha#es y ha!d, sBueeFi!g it ge!tly% 8 feel the
$harge of his flesh o! i!e% G<o you ha*e a proble "ith your laptopIH
8 fro"! as he ha!ds e y degree%
G+o%H
GThe! you are ig!ori!g y eailsIH
G8 o!ly sa" the ergers a!d a$Buisitio!s o!e%H
3e loo#s BuiFFi$ally at e%
GLater,H he says, a!d 8 ha*e to o*e o! be$ause 8 holdi!g up the li!e%
8 go ba$# to y seat% EailsI 3e ust ha*e se!t a!other% What did it sayI
The $ereo!y ta#es a!other hour to $o!$lude% 8ts i!teri!able% Fi!ally, the Cha!$ellor leads
the fa$ulty ebers off the stage to yet ore rousi!g applause, pre$eded by Christia! a!d Eate%
Christia! does !ot gla!$e at e, e*e! though 8 "illi!g hi to do it%
=y i!!er goddess is !ot pleased%
&s 8 sta!d a!d "ait for our ro" to disperse, Eate $alls to e% Shes headi!g y "ay fro
behi!d the stage%
GChristia! "a!ts to tal# to you,H she shouts% The t"o girls "ho are !o" sta!di!g beside e
tur! a!d gape at e%
G3es se!t e out here,H she $o!ti!ues%
Oh0
GJour spee$h "as great, Eate%H
G8t "as, "as!t itIH she beas% G&re you $oi!gI 3e $a! be *ery i!siste!t%H She rolls her
eyes, a!d 8 gri!%
GJou ha*e !o idea% 8 $a!t lea*e Day for lo!g%H 8 gla!$e up at Day a!d hold y fi!gers up
i!di$ati!g fi*e i!utes% 3e !ods, gi*i!g e a! o#ay sig!, a!d 8 follo" Eate i!to the $orridor behi!d
the stage% Christia! is tal#i!g to the Cha!$ellor a!d t"o of the tea$hi!g staff% 3e loo#s up "he! he
sees e%
GE1$use e, ge!tlee!,H 8 hear hi urur% 3e $oes to"ard e a!d siles briefly at Eate%
GTha!# you,H he says, a!d before she $a! reply, he ta#es y elbo" a!d steers e i!to "hat
loo#s li#e a e!s lo$#er roo% 3e $he$#s to see if its epty, a!d the! he lo$#s the door% 7oly shit
what does he ha6e in mind. 8 bli!# up at hi as he tur!s o! e%
GWhy ha*e!t you eailed eI /r te1ted e ba$#IH 3e glares% 8 !o!plussed%
G8 ha*e!t loo#ed at y $oputer today, or y pho!e%H Crap, has he bee! tryi!g to $allI 8 try
y distra$tio! te$h!iBue thats so effe$ti*e o! Eate% GThat "as a great spee$h%H
GTha!# you%H
GE1plai!s your food issues to e%H
3e ru!s a ha!d through his hair, e1asperated%
G&!astasia, 8 do!t "a!t to go there at the oe!t%H 3e $loses his eyes, loo#i!g pai!ed%
G8*e bee! "orried about you%H
GWorried, "hyIH
G0e$ause you "e!t hoe i! that deathtrap you $all a $ar%H
GWhatI 8ts !ot a deathtrap% 8ts fi!e% JosNO222P regularly ser*i$es it for e%H
GJosNO222P, the photographerIH Christia!s eyes !arro", his fa$e frosti!g% Oh Crap.
GJes, the 0eetle used to belo!g to his other%H
GJes, a!d probably her other a!d her other before her% 8ts !ot safe%H
G8*e bee! dri*i!g it for o*er three years% 8 sorry you "ere "orried% Why did!t you $allIH
JeeF, hes $opletely o*er9rea$ti!g%
3e ta#es a deep breath%
G&!astasia, 8 !eed a! a!s"er fro you% This "aiti!g arou!d is dri*i!g e $raFy%H
GChristia!, 8L loo#, 8*e left y stepdad o! his o"!%H
GToorro"% 8 "a!t a! a!s"er by toorro"%H
G/#ay% Toorro", 8ll tell you the!%H 8 bli!# at hi%
3e steps ba$#, regardi!g e $oolly, a!d his shoulders rela1%
G&re you stayi!g for dri!#sIH he as#s%
G8 do!t #!o" "hat Day "a!ts to do%H
GJour stepfatherI 8d li#e to eet hi%H
Oh no0 why.
G8 !ot sure thats a good idea%H
Christia! u!lo$#s the door, his outh i! a gri li!e%
G&re you ashaed of eIH
G+oKH 8ts y tur! to sou!d e1asperated% G8!trodu$e you to y dad as "hatI MThis is the a!
"ho deflo"ered e a!d "a!ts us to start a 0<S= relatio!ship% Joure !ot "eari!g ru!!i!g shoes%H
Christia! glares do"! at e, a!d the! his lips t"it$h up i! a sile% &!d i! spite of the fa$t 8
ad at hi, y fa$e is u!"illi!gly pulled i!to a! a!s"eri!g gri!%
GJust so you #!o", 8 $a! ru! Buite fast% Just tell hi 8 your frie!d, &!astasia%H
3e ope!s the door, a!d 8 head out% =y i!d is "hirli!g% The Cha!$ellor, the three Ai$e
Cha!$ellors, four professors, a!d Eate stare at e as 8 "al# hastily past the% 7oly crap. Lea*i!g
Christia! "ith the fa$ulty 8 go i! sear$h of Day%
1ell him I*m your friend. Frie!d "ith be!efits, y sub$o!s$ious s$o"ls% 8 #!o", 8 #!o"% 8
sha#e the u!pleasa!t thought a"ay% 3o" "ill 8 i!trodu$e hi to DayI The hall is still at least half
full, a!d Day has !ot o*ed fro his spot% 3e sees e, "a*es, a!d a#es his "ay do"!%
G3ey, &!!ie% Co!gratulatio!s%H 3e puts his ar arou!d e%
GWould you li#e to $oe a!d ha*e a dri!# i! the arBueeIH
GSure% 8ts your day% Lead the "ay%H
GWe do!t ha*e to if you do!t "a!t to%H /lease say no0
G&!!ie, 8*e @ust sat for t"o a!d half hours liste!i!g to all #i!ds of @abberi!g% 8 !eed a dri!#%H
8 put y ar through his, a!d "e stroll out "ith the thro!g i!to the "arth of the early
after!oo!% We pass the li!e for the offi$ial photographer%
G/h, that rei!ds e%H Day drags a digital $aera out of his po$#et% G/!e for the albu,
&!!ie%H 8 roll y eyes at hi as he s!aps a pi$ture of e%
GCa! 8 ta#e the $ap a!d go"! off !o"I 8 feel #i!d of dor#y%H
)ou loo( (inda dor(y L y sub$o!s$ious is at her s!ar#y best% %o are you going to introduce
Ray to the man you*re fuc(ing. She is glari!g at e o*er her "i!g9shaped spe$9ta$les% 7e*d ,e so
proud. >od, 8 hate her soeties%
The arBuee is ie!se, a!d $ro"ded C stude!ts, pare!ts, tea$hers, a!d frie!ds, all
$hatteri!g happily% Day ha!ds e a glass of $hapag!e or $heap fiFFy "i!e, 8 suspe$t% 8ts !ot
$hilled, a!d it tastes s"eet% =y thoughts tur! to Christia!L he won*t li(e this.
G&!aKH 8 tur!, a!d Etha! Ea*a!agh s$oops e i!to his ars% 3e t"irls e arou!d, "ithout
spilli!g y "i!e, soe feat%
GCo!gratulatio!sKH 3e beas do"! at e, gree! eyes t"i!#li!g%
What a surprise% 3is dirty blo!de hair tousled a!d se1y9loo#i!g% 3es as beautiful as Eate%
The faily resebla!$e is stri#i!g%
GWo" C Etha!K 3o" lo*ely to see you% <ad, this is Etha!, Eates brother% Etha!, this is y
dad, Day Steele%H They sha#e ha!ds, y dad $oolly assessi!g =r% Ea*a!agh%
GWhe! did you get ba$# fro EuropeIH 8 as#%
G8*e bee! ba$# for a "ee#, but 8 "a!ted to surprise y little sister,H he says $o!spiratorially%
GThats so s"eet%H 8 gri! up at hi%
GShe is Aaledi$toria!, $ould!t iss that%H 3e loo#s ie!sely proud of his sister%
GShe ga*e a great spee$h%H
GThat she did,H Day agrees%
Etha! has his ar arou!d y "aist "he! 8 loo# up i!to the frosty gray eyes of Christia! >rey%
Eate is beside hi%
G3ello, Day,H Eate #isses Day o! both $hee#s, a#i!g hi blush% G3a*e you et &!as
boyfrie!dI Christia! >rey%H
7oly shit0 !ate& 'uc(& &ll the blood drai!s fro y fa$e%
G=r% Steele, its a pleasure to eet you%H Christia! says soothly, "arly, $opletely
u!flustered by Eates i!trodu$tio!% 3e holds out his ha!d, "hi$h, all $redit to Day, Day ta#es, !ot
sho"i!g a hi!t of the drop9dead surprise hes @ust had thrust upo! hi%
1han( you 6ery much !atherine !a6anagh 8 fue% 8 thi!# y sub$o!s$ious has fai!ted%
G=r% >rey,H Day ururs, his e1pressio! i!de$ipherable e1$ept perhaps for the slight
"ide!i!g of his big bro"! eyes% They slide o*er y fa$e "ith a "he!9"ere9you9goi!g9togi*e9e9
this9!e"s loo#% 8 bite y lip%
G&!d this is y brother, Etha! Ea*a!agh%H says Eate to Christia!%
Christia! tur!s his ar$ti$ glare o! Etha!, "ho still has o!e ar arou!d e%
G=r% Ea*a!agh%H
They sha#e ha!ds% Christia! holds his ha!d out to e%
G&!a, baby,H he ururs, a!d 8 !early e1pire at the e!deare!t%
8 "al# out of Etha!s grasp, "hile Christia! siles i$ily at hi, a!d 8 ta#e y pla$e at his
side% Eate gri!s at e% She #!o"s e1a$tly "hat shes doi!g, the *i1e!K
GEtha!, =o a!d <ad "a!ted a "ord%H Eate drags Etha! a"ay%
GSo ho" lo!g ha*e you #ids #!o"! ea$h otherIH Day loo#s ipassi*ely fro Christia! to e%
The po"er of spee$h has deserted e% 8 "a!t the grou!d to s"allo" e up% Christia! puts his
ar arou!d e, his thub s#ii!g y !a#ed ba$# i! a $aress, before his ha!d $lasps y
shoulder%
GCouple of "ee#s or so !o",H he says soothly% GWe et "he! &!astasia $ae to i!ter*ie"
e for the stude!t agaFi!e%H
G<id!t #!o" you "or#ed o! the stude!t agaFi!e, &!a%H Days *oi$e is a Buiet
ado!ishe!t, re*eali!g his irritatio!% %hit.
GEate "as ill,H 8 urur% 8ts all 8 $a! a!age%
GFi!e spee$h you ga*e, =r% >rey%H
GTha!# you, sir% 8 u!dersta!d that youre a #ee! fishera!%H
Day raises his eyebro"s a!d siles C a rare, ge!ui!e, bo!a fide Day Steele sile C a!d off
they go, tal#i!g fish% 8! fa$t, 8 soo! feel surplus to reBuiree!ts% 3es $hari!g the pa!ts off y
dadL li(e he did you y sub$o!s$ious s!aps at e% 3is po"er #!o"s !o bou!ds% 8 e1$use yself
to go a!d fi!d Eate%
Shes tal#i!g to her pare!ts, "ho are delightful as e*er a!d greet e "arly% We e1$ha!ge
brief pleasa!tries, ostly about their up a!d $oi!g holiday to 0arbados a!d about our o*e%
GEate, ho" $ould you out e to DayIH 8 hiss at the first opportu!ity "e "o!t be o*er9heard%
G0e$ause 8 #!e" you !e*er "ould, a!d 8 "a!t to help "ith Christia!s $oite!t issues%H
Eate siles at e s"eetly%
8 s$o"l% It*s me that won*t commit to him silly&
G3e sees trNO222Ps $ool about it, &!a% <o!t s"eat it% Loo# at hi !o" C Christia! $a!!ot
ta#e his eyes off you%H 8 gla!$e up, a!d both Day a!d Christia! are loo#i!g at e% G3es bee!
"at$hi!g you li#e a ha"#%H
G8d better go res$ue Day or Christia!% 8 do!t #!o" "hi$h% Jou ha*e!t heard the last of this,
Eatheri!e Ea*a!aghKH 8 glare at her%
G&!a, 8 did you a fa*or,H she $alls after e%
G3i%H 8 sile at both of the o! y retur!%
They see o#ay% Christia! is e!@oyi!g soe pri*ate @o#e, a!d y dad loo#s u!belie*ably
rela1ed gi*e! hes i! a so$ial situatio!% #hat ha6e they ,een discussing apart from fish. G&!a,
"here are the restroosIH
G0a$# out fro!t of the arBuee a!d to the left%H
GSee you i! a oe!t% Jou #ids e!@oy yoursel*es%H
Day heads out% 8 gla!$e !er*ously up at Christia!% We pause briefly as a photographer ta#es a
pi$ture of both of us%
GTha!# you, =r% >rey%H The photographer s$urries off% 8 bli!# fro the flash%
GSo you*e $hared y father as "ellIH
G&s "ellIH Christia!s gray eyes bur!, a!d he raises a Buestio!i!g eyebro"% 8 flush%
3e lifts his ha!d a!d tra$es y $hee# "ith his fi!gers%
G/h, 8 "ish 8 #!e" "hat you "ere thi!#i!g, &!astasia,H he "hispers dar#ly, $uppi!g y $hi!
a!d raisi!g y head so that "e gaFe i!te!tly i!to ea$h others eyes%
=y breath hit$hes% 3o" $a! he ha*e this effe$t o! e, e*e! i! this $ro"ded te!tI
GDight !o", 8 thi!#i!g, !i$e tie,H 8 breathe%
3e $hu$#les%
G8ts re$e!tly be$oe y fa*orite%H
8 blush s$arlet%
GJou loo# lo*ely, &!astasia, this halter9!e$# dress suits you, a!d 8 get to stro#e your ba$#,
feel your beautiful s#i!%H
Sudde!ly, its li#e "ere o! our o"! i! the roo% Just the t"o of us, y "hole body has $oe
ali*e, e*ery !er*e e!di!g si!gi!g softly, that ele$tri$ity pulli!g e to hi, $hargi!g bet"ee! us%
GJou #!o" its goi!g to be good, do!t you, babyIH he "hispers% 8 $lose y eyes as y
i!sides u!$oil a!d elt%
G0ut 8 "a!t ore,H 8 "hisper%
G=oreIH he loo#s do"! at e puFFled, his eyes dar#e!i!g% 8 !od a!d s"allo"% "ow he (nows.
G=ore,H he says agai! softly% Testi!g the "ord C a sall, siple "ord, but so full of proise%
3is thub tra$es y lo"er lip% GJou "a!t hearts a!d flo"ers%H
8 !od agai!% 3e bli!#s do"! at e, a!d 8 "at$h his i!ter!al struggle played out i! his
eyes%G&!astasia%H 3is *oi$e is soft% G8ts !ot soethi!g 8 #!o"%H
G=e !either%H
3e siles slightly%
GJou do!t #!o" u$h,H he ururs%
GJou #!o" all the "ro!g thi!gs%H
GWro!gI +ot to e%H 3e sha#es his head% 3e loo#s so si!$ere% GTry it,H he "hispers%
& $halle!ge, dari!g e, a!d he $o$#s his head to o!e side a!d siles his $roo#ed, daFFli!g
sile%
8 gasp, a!d 8 E*e i! the >arde! of Ede!, a!d hes the serpe!t, a!d 8 $a!!ot resist%
G/#ay,H 8 "hisper%
GWhatIH 8 ha*e his full, u!di*ided atte!tio!% 8 s"allo"%
G/#ay% 8ll try%H
GJoure agreei!gIH 3is disbelief is e*ide!t%
GSub@e$t to the soft liits, yes% 8ll try%H =y *oi$e is so sall% Christia! $loses his eyes a!d
pulls e i!to a! ebra$e%
GJesus, &!a, youre so u!e1pe$ted% Jou ta#e y breath a"ay%H
3e steps ba$#, a!d sudde!ly Days retur!ed, a!d the *olue i! the arBuee gradually rises
a!d fills y ears% We are !ot alo!e% 7oly shit I*6e +ust agreed to ,e his su,. Christia! siles at
Day, a!d his eyes are da!$i!g "ith @oy%
G&!!ie, should "e get soe lu!$hIH
G/#ay%H 8 bli!# up at Day, tryi!g to fi!d y eBuilibriu% #hat ha6e you done. =y
sub$o!s$ious s$reas at e% =y i!!er goddess is doi!g ba$# flips i! a routi!e "orthy of a Dussia!
/lypi$ gy!ast%
GWould you li#e to @oi! us, Christia!IH Day as#s%
Christian& 8 stare up at hi, iplori!g hi to refuse% 8 !eed spa$e to thi!#L "hat the fu$#
ha*e 8 do!eI
GTha!# you, =r% Steele, but 8 ha*e pla!s% 8ts bee! great to eet you, sir%H
GLi#e"ise,H Day respo!ds% GLoo# after y baby girl%H
G/h, 8 fully i!te!d to, =r% Steele%H
They sha#e ha!ds% 8 feel si$#% Day has !o idea ho" Christia! i!te!ds to loo# after e%
Christia! ta#es y ha!d a!d raises it to his lips a!d #isses y #!u$#les te!derly, his s$or$hi!g eyes
i!te!t o! i!e%
GLater, =iss Steele,H he breathes, his *oi$e full of proise%
=y belly $urls at the thoughtL oh y% 7ang on0 later.
Day ta#es y elbo" a!d leads e to"ard the e!tra!$e to the te!t%
GSees a solid you!g a!% Well9off too% Jou $ould do a lot "orse, &!!ie% Though "hy 8 had
to hear about hi fro Eatheri!e,H he s$olds%
8 shrug apologeti$ally%
GWell, a!y a! "ho li#es a!d #!o"s his fly9fishi!g is o#ay "ith e%H
3oly $o" C Day appro*es% 8f o!ly he #!e"%
Day drops e ba$# at the house at dus#%
GCall your o,H he says%
G8 "ill% Tha!#s for $oi!g, <ad%H
GWould!t ha*e issed it for the "orld, &!!ie% Jou a#e e so proud%H
Oh no. 8 !ot goi!g to get eotio!al% & huge lup fors i! y throat, a!d 8 hug hi, hard%
3e puts his ars arou!d e, beused, a!d 8 $a!t help it C tears pool i! y eyes%G3ey, &!!ie,
s"eetheart,H Day $roo!s% G0ig old dayL ehI Wa!t e to $oe i! a!d a#e you soe teaIH
8 laugh, i! spite of y tears% Tea is al"ays the a!s"er a$$ordi!g to Day% 8 reeber y
other $oplai!i!g about hi, sayi!g that "he! it $ae to tea a!d sypathy, he "as al"ays good
at the tea, !ot so hot o! the sypathy%
G+o, <ad, 8 good% 8ts bee! so great to see you% 8ll *isit real soo! o!$e 8 settled i!
Seattle%H
G>ood lu$# "ith the i!ter*ie"s% Let e #!o" ho" they go%H
GSure thi!g, <ad%H
GLo*e you, &!!ie%H
GLo*e you too, <ad%H
3e siles, his bro"! eyes "ar, glo"i!g, a!d he $libs ba$# i!to his $ar% 8 "a*e hi off as
he dri*es i!to the dus#, a!d 8 "a!der listlessly ba$# i!to the aparte!t%
First thi!g 8 do is $he$# y $ell pho!e% 8t !eeds re$hargi!g, so 8 ha*e to hu!t do"! the
$harger a!d plug it i! before 8 $a! $olle$t y essages% Four issed $alls, o!e *oi$e essage, a!d
t"o te1ts% Three issed $alls fro Christia!L !o essages% /!e issed $all fro JosNO222P a!d a
*oi$e ail fro hi "ishi!g e all the best for graduatio!%
8 ope! the te1ts%
*Are yo1 !ome safe*
*#all me*
They are both fro Christia!, "hy did!t he $all the houseI 8 head i!to y bedroo a!d fire
up the ea! a$hi!e%
)rom: Christia! >rey
S1b2ect: To!ight
"ate: =ay 24 2011 22:4)
$o: &!astasia Steele
8 hope you ade it hoe i! that $ar of yours%
Let e #!o" if youre o#ay%
Christia! >rey
CE/, >rey E!terprises 3oldi!gs 8!$%
JeeF%%% "hy is he so "orried about y 0eetle% 8t has gi*e! e three years of loyal ser*i$e, a!d
JosNO222P has al"ays bee! o! ha!d to ai!tai! it for e% Christia!s !e1t eail is fro today%
)rom: Christia! >rey
S1b2ect: Soft Liits
"ate: =ay 2( 2011 17:22
$o: &!astasia Steele
What $a! 8 say that 8 ha*e!t alreadyI
3appy to tal# these through a!ytie%
Jou loo#ed beautiful today%
Christia! >rey
CE/, >rey E!terprises 3oldi!gs 8!$%
8 "a!t to see hi% 8 hit reply
)rom: &!astasia Steele
S1b2ect: Soft Liits
"ate: =ay 2( 2011 1':22
$o: Christia! >rey
8 $a! $oe o*er this e*e!i!g to dis$uss if youd li#e%
&!a
)rom: Christia! >rey
S1b2ect: Soft Liits
"ate: =ay 2( 2011 1':27
$o: &!astasia Steele
8ll $oe to you% 8 ea!t it "he! 8 said 8 "as!t happy about you dri*i!g that $ar%
8ll be "ith you shortly%
Christia! >rey
CE/, >rey E!terprises 3oldi!gs 8!$%
7oly crap L hes $oi!g o*er !o"% 8 ha*e to get o!e thi!g ready for hi C the first editio!
Thoas 3ardy boo#s are still o! the shel*es i! the li*i!g roo% 8 $a!!ot #eep the% 8 "rap the i!
bro"! paper, a!d 8 s$ra"l o! the "rappi!g a dire$t Buote fro Tess fro the boo#:
G3i%H 8 feel u!bearably shy "he! 8 ope! the door% Christia! is sta!di!g o! the por$h i! his
@ea!s a!d leather @a$#et%
G3i,H he says, a!d his fa$e lights up "ith his radia!t sile% 8 ta#e a oe!t to adire the
pretty% /h y, hes hot i! leather%
GCoe i!%H
G8f 8 ay,H he says aused% 3e holds up a bottle of $hapag!e as he "al#s i!% G8 thought
"ed $elebrate your graduatio!% +othi!g beats a good 0olli!ger%H
G8!teresti!g $hoi$e of "ords,H 8 $oe!t dryly%
3e gri!s%
G/h, 8 li#e your ready "it, &!astasia%H
GWe o!ly ha*e tea$ups% We*e pa$#ed all the glasses%H
GTea$upsI Sou!ds good to e%H
8 head i!to the #it$he!% +er*ous, butterflies floodi!g y stoa$h, its li#e ha*i!g a pa!ther or
ou!tai! lio! all u!predi$table a!d predatory i! y li*i!g roo%
G<o you "a!t sau$ers as "ellIH
GTea$ups "ill be fi!e, &!astasia,H Christia! $alls distra$tedly fro the li*i!g roo%
Whe! 8 retur!, hes stari!g at the bro"! par$el of boo#s% 8 pla$e the $ups o! the table%
GThats for you,H 8 urur a!1iously%
Crap0 this is pro,a,ly going to ,e a fight.
G3, 8 figured as u$h% Aery apt Buote%H 3is lo!g i!de1 fi!ger abse!tly tra$es the "riti!g%
G8 thought 8 "as <5rber*ille, !ot &!gel% Jou de$ided o! the debasee!t%H 3e gi*es e a brief
"olfish sile% GTrust you to fi!d soethi!g that reso!ates so appropriately%H
G8ts also a plea,H 8 "hisper% #hy am I so ner6ous. =y outh is dry%
G& pleaI For e to go easy o! youIH
8 !od%
G8 bought these for you,H he says Buietly his gaFe ipassi*e% G8ll go easier o! you if you
a$$ept the%H
8 s"allo" $o!*ulsi*ely%
GChristia!, 8 $a!t a$$ept the, theyre @ust too u$h%H
GJou see, this is "hat 8 "as tal#i!g about, you defyi!g e% 8 "a!t you to ha*e the, a!d
thats the e!d of the dis$ussio!% 8ts *ery siple% Jou do!t ha*e to thi!# about this%
&s a subissi*e you "ould @ust be grateful for the% Jou @ust a$$ept "hat 8 buy you be$ause
it pleases e for you to do so%H
G8 "as!t a subissi*e "he! you bought the for e,H 8 "hisper%
G+oL but you*e agreed, &!astasia%H 3is eyes tur! "ary%
8 sigh% 8 a !ot goi!g to "i! this, so o*er to pla! 0%
GSo they are i!e to do "ith as 8 "ishIH
3e eyes e suspi$iously, but $o!$edes%
GJes%H
G8! that $ase, 8d li#e to gi*e the to a $harity, o!e "or#i!g i! <arfur si!$e that sees to be
$lose to your heart% They $a! au$tio! the%H
G8f thats "hat you "a!t to do%H 3is outh sets i!to a hard li!e% 3es disappoi!ted%
8 flush%
G8ll thi!# about it,H 8 urur, 8 do!t "a!t to disappoi!t hi, a!d his "ords $oe ba$# to
e% I want you to want to please me.
G<o!t thi!#, &!astasia% +ot about this%H 3is to!e is Buiet a!d serious%
3o" $a! 8 !ot thi!#I )ou can pretend to ,e a car li(e his other possessions y
sub$o!s$ious a#es a! u!"el$oe *itrioli$ retur!% 8 ig!ore her% /h, $a!t "e re"i!dI The
atosphere bet"ee! us is !o" te!se% 8 do!t #!o" "hat to do% 8 stare do"! at y fi!gers%
3o" do 8 retrie*e this situatio!I
3e puts the $hapag!e bottle o! the table a!d sta!ds i! fro!t of e% .utti!g his ha!d u!der
y $hi!, he tilts y head up% 3e gaFes do"! at e, his e1pressio! gra*e%
G8 "ill buy you lots of thi!gs, &!astasia% >et used to it% 8 $a! afford it% 8 a *ery "ealthy
a!%H 3e lea!s do"! a!d pla!ts a s"ift, $haste #iss o! y lips% G.lease%H 3e releases e%
-7o* y sub$o!s$ious ouths at e%
G8t a#es e feel $heap,H 8 urur%
Christia! ru!s his ha!d through his hair, e1asperated%
G8t should!t% Joure o*er9thi!#i!g it, &!astasia% <o!t pla$e soe *ague oral @udge!t o!
yourself based o! "hat others ight thi!#% <o!t "aste your e!ergy% 8ts o!ly be$ause you ha*e
reser*atio!s about our arra!gee!t, thats perfe$tly !atural% Jou do!t #!o" "hat youre getti!g
yourself i!to%H
8 fro"!, tryi!g to pro$ess his "ords%
G3ey, stop this,H he $oa!ds softly, $uppi!g y $hi! agai! a!d pulli!g at it ge!tly so 8
release y lo"er lip fro y teeth% GThere is !othi!g about you that is $heap, &!astasia%
8 "o!t ha*e you thi!#i!g that% 8 @ust bought you soe old boo#s that 8 thought ight ea!
soethi!g to you, thats all% 3a*e soe $hapag!e%H 3is eyes "ar a!d softe!, a!d 8 sile
te!tati*ely ba$# up at hi% GThats better,H he ururs% 3e pi$#s up the $hapag!e, ta#es off the
foil top a!d $age, t"ists the bottle rather tha! the $or#, a!d ope!s it "ith a sall pop a!d a pra$ti$ed
flourish that does!t spill a drop% 3e half fills the $ups%
G8ts pi!#,H 8 urur, surprised%
G0olli!ger >ra!de &!!NO222Pe DosNO222P 1''', a! e1$elle!t *i!tage,H he says "ith relish%
G8! tea$ups%H
3e gri!s%
G8! tea$ups% Co!gratulatio!s o! your degree, &!astasia%H We $li!# $ups, a!d he ta#es a dri!#,
but 8 $a!t help thi!#i!g this is really about y $apitulatio!%
GTha!# you,H 8 urur a!d ta#e a sip% /f $ourse its deli$ious% GShall "e go through the soft
liitsIH
3e siles, a!d 8 blush%
G&l"ays so eager%H Christia! ta#es y ha!d a!d leads e to the $ou$h "here he sits a!d tugs
e do"! beside hi%
GJoure stepfathers a *ery ta$itur! a!%H
Oh0 not soft limits then. I +ust want to get this out of the wayA the an<iety is gnawing at me.
GJou a!aged to ha*e hi eati!g out of your ha!d%H 8 pout%
Christia! laughs softly%
G/!ly be$ause 8 #!o" ho" to fish%H
G3o" do you #!o" he li#ed fishi!gIH
GJou told e% Whe! "e "e!t for $offee%H
G/hL did 8IH 8 ta#e a!other sip% Wo" he has a eory for detail% 3L this $hapag!e
really is *ery good% G<id you try the "i!e at the re$eptio!IH
Christia! a#es a fa$e%
GJes% 8t "as foul%H
G8 thought of you "he! 8 tasted it% 3o" did you get to be so #!o"ledgeable about "i!eIH
G8 !ot #!o"ledgeable, &!astasia, 8 @ust #!o" "hat 8 li#e%H 3is gray eyes shi!e, alost
sil*er, a!d it a#es e flush% GSoe oreIH he as#s, referri!g to the $hapag!e%
G.lease%H
Christia! rises gra$efully a!d $olle$ts the bottle% 3e fills y $up% 8s he getti!g e tipsyI 8 eye
hi suspi$iously%
GThis pla$e loo#s pretty bare, are you ready for the o*eIH
G=ore or less%H
G&re you "or#i!g toorro"IH
GJes, y last day at Clayto!sH
G8d help you o*e, but 8 proised to eet y sister at the airport%H
/hL this is !e"s%
G=ia arri*es fro .aris *ery early Saturday or!i!g% 8 headi!g ba$# to Seattle toorro",
but 8 hear Elliot is gi*i!g you t"o a ha!d%H
GJes, Eate is *ery e1$ited about that%H
Christia! fro"!s%
GJes, Eate a!d Elliot, "ho "ould ha*e thoughtIH he ururs, a!d for soe reaso!, he
does!t loo# pleased%
GSo "hat are you doi!g about "or# i! SeattleIH
#hen are we going to tal( a,out the limits. #hat*s his game.
G8 ha*e a $ouple of i!ter*ie"s for i!ter! pla$es%H
GJou "ere goi!g tell e this "he!IH 3e ar$hes a bro"%
GErrL 8 telli!g you !o"%H
3e !arro"s his eyes%
GWhereIH
For soe reaso!, possibly be$ause he ight use his i!flue!$e, 8 do!t "a!t to tell hi%
G& $ouple of publishi!g houses%H
G8s that "hat you "a!t to do, soethi!g i! publishi!gIH
8 !od "arily%
GWellIH 3e loo#s at e patie!tly "a!ti!g ore i!foratio!%
GWell "hatIH
G<o!t be obtuse, &!astasia, "hi$h publishi!g housesIH he s$olds%
GJust sall o!es,H 8 urur%
GWhy do!t you "a!t e to #!o"IH
G5!due i!flue!$e%H
3e fro"!s%
G/h, !o" you*re bei!g obtuse%H
3e laughs%
G/btuseI =eI >od, youre $halle!gi!g% <ri!# up, lets tal# about these liits%H 3e fishes out
a!other $opy of y eail a!d the list% <oes he "a!der about "ith these lists i! his po$#etsI 8 thi!#
theres o!e i! his @a$#et that 8 ha*e% Shit, 8d better !ot forget that% 8 drai! y $up%
3e gla!$es Bui$#ly at e%
G=oreIH
G.lease%H
3e siles that oh9so9sug9pri*ate sile of his, holds the $hapag!e bottle up, a!d pauses%
G3a*e you eate! a!ythi!gIH
/h !oL !ot this old $hest!ut%
GJes% 8 had a three $ourse eal "ith Day%H 8 roll y eyes at hi% The $hapag!e is a#i!g
e bold%
3e lea!s for"ard a!d holds y $hi!, stari!g i!te!tly i!to y eyes%
G+e1t tie you roll your eyes at e, 8 "ill ta#e you a$ross y #!ee%H
#hat.&
G/h,H 8 breathe, a!d 8 $a! see the e1$itee!t i! his eyes%
G/h,H he respo!ds, irrori!g y to!e% GSo it begi!s, &!astasia%H
=y heart slas agai!st y $hest, a!d the butterflies es$ape fro y stoa$h i!to y
$o!stri$ti!g throat% #hy is that hot.
3e fills y $up, a!d 8 dri!# pra$ti$ally all of it% Chaste!ed, 8 stare up at hi%
G>ot your atte!tio! !o", ha*e!t 8IH
8 !od%
G&!s"er e%H
GJesL you*e got y atte!tio!%H
G>ood,H he siles a #!o"i!g sile% GSo se1ual a$ts% We*e do!e ost of this%H
8 o*e $loser to hi o! the $ou$h a!d gla!$e do"! at the list%
A&&EN"'- 0
Soft Limits
To be dis$ussed a!d agreed bet"ee! both parties:
Whi$h of the follo"i!g se1ual a$ts are a$$eptable to the Subissi*eI
U =asturbatio!
U Fellatio
U Cu!!ili!gus
U Aagi!al i!ter$ourse
U Aagi!al fisti!g
U &!al i!ter$ourse
U &!al fisti!g
G+o fisti!g, you say% &!ythi!g else you ob@e$t toIH he as#s softly%
8 s"allo"%
G&!al i!ter$ourse does!t e1a$tly float y boat%H
G8ll agree to the fisti!g, but 8d really li#e to $lai your ass, &!astasia% 0ut "ell "ait for
that% 0esides, its !ot soethi!g "e $a! di*e i!to,H he sir#s at e% GJour ass "ill !eed trai!i!g%H
GTrai!i!gIH 8 "hisper%
G/h yes% 8tll !eed $areful preparatio!% &!al i!ter$ourse $a! be *ery pleasurable, trust e% 0ut
if "e try it a!d you do!t li#e it, "e do!t ha*e to do it agai!%H 3e gri!s do"! at e% 8 bli!# up at
hi% 3e thi!#s 8ll e!@oy itI 3o" does he #!o" its pleasurableI
G3a*e you do!e thatIH 8 "hisper%
GJes%H
7oly crap. 8 gasp%
GWith a a!IH
G+o% 8*e !e*er had se1 "ith a a!% +ot y s$e!e%H
G=rs% Dobi!so!IH
GJes%H
7oly shit0 how. 8 fro"!% 3e o*es o! do"! the list%
G/#ayL s"allo"i!g see!% Well, you get a! & i! that%H
8 flush, a!d y i!!er goddess sa$#s her lips together glo"i!g "ith pride%
GSo%H 3e loo#s do"! at e gri!!i!g% GS"allo"i!g see! o#ayIH
8 !od, !ot able to loo# hi i! the eye, a!d drai! y $up agai!%
G=oreIH he as#s%
G=ore%H &!d 8 sudde!ly rei!ded of our $o!*ersatio! earlier today as he refills y $up% 8s
he referri!g to that or @ust the $hapag!eI 8s this "hole $hapag!e thi!g oreI
GSe1 toysIH he as#s%
8 shrug, gla!$i!g do"! the list%
8s the use of se1 toys a$$eptable to the Subissi*eI
U Aibrators
U <ildos
U 0utt .lugs
U /ther
G0utt plugI <oes it do "hat it says o! the ti!IH 8 s$ru!$h y !ose up i! distaste%
GJes,H he siles% G&!d 8 refer to a!al i!ter$ourse abo*e% Trai!i!g%H
G/hL "hats i! otherIH
G0eads, eggsL that sort of stuff%H
GEggsIH 8 alared%
G+ot real eggs,H he laughs loudly, sha#i!g his head%
8 purse y lips at hi%
G8 glad you fi!d e fu!!y%H 8 $a!t #eep y i!@ured feeli!gs out of y *oi$e%
3e stops laughi!g%
G8 apologiFe% =iss Steele, 8 sorry,H he says, tryi!g to loo# $o!trite, but his eyes are still
da!$i!g "ith huor% G&!y proble "ith toysIH
G+o,H 8 s!ap%
G&!astasia,H he $a@oles% G8 a sorry% 0elie*e e% 8 do!t ea! to laugh% 8*e !e*er had this
$o!*ersatio! i! so u$h detail% Joure @ust so i!e1perie!$ed% 8 sorry%H 3is eyes are big a!d gray
a!d si!$ere%
8 tha" a little a!d ta#e a!other sip of $hapag!e%
GDight C bo!dage,H he says, retur!i!g to the list% 8 e1ai!e the list, a!d y i!!er goddess
bou!$es up a!d do"! li#e a sall $hild "aiti!g for i$e $rea%
8s 0o!dage a$$eptable to the Subissi*eI
U 3a!ds i! fro!t U 3a!ds behi!d ba$#
U &!#les U E!ees
U Elbo"s
U Wrists to a!#les
U Spreader bars
U Tied to fur!iture
U 0li!dfoldi!g
U >aggi!g
U 0o!dage "ith Dope
U 0o!dage "ith Tape
U 0o!dage "ith leather $uffs
U Suspe!sio!
U 0o!dage "ith ha!d$uffs?etal restrai!ts
GWe*e tal#ed about suspe!sio!% &!d its fi!e if you "a!t to set that up as a hard liit% 8t
ta#es a great deal of tie, a!d 8 o!ly ha*e you for short periods of tie a!y"ay%
&!ythi!g elseIH
G<o!t laugh at e, but "hats a spreader barIH
G8 proise !ot to laugh% 8*e apologiFed t"i$e%H 3e glares at e% G<o!t a#e e do it
agai!,H he "ar!s% &!d 8 thi!# 8 *isibly shri!#%%% oh, hes so bossy% G& spreader is a bar "ith $uffs for
a!#les a!d?or "rists% Theyre fu!%H
G/#ayL Well gaggi!g e% 8d be "orried 8 "ould!t be able to breatheH
GI*d be "orried if you $ould!t breathe% 8 do!t "a!t to suffo$ate you%H
G&!d ho" "ill 8 use safe "ords if 8 gaggedIH
3e pauses%
GFirst of all, 8 hope you !e*er ha*e to use the% 0ut if youre gagged, "ell use ha!d sig!als,H
he says siply%
8 bli!# up at hi% 0ut if 8 trussed up, ho"s that goi!g to "or#I =y brai! is begi!!i!g to
fogL hmm alcohol.
G8 !er*ous about the gaggi!g%H
G/#ay% 8ll ta#e !ote%H
8 stare up at hi, realiFatio! da"!i!g%
G<o you li#e tyi!g your subissi*es up so they $a!t tou$h youIH
3e gaFes at e, his eyes "ide!i!g%
GThats o!e of the reaso!s,H he says Buietly%
G8s that "hy you*e tied y ha!dsIH
GJes%H
GJou do!t li#e tal#i!g about that,H 8 urur%
G+o, 8 do!t% Would you li#e a!other dri!#I 8ts a#i!g you bra*e, a!d 8 !eed to #!o" ho"
you feel about pai!%H
3oly $rapL this is the tri$#y part% 3e refills y tea$up, a!d 8 sip%
GSo, "hats your ge!eral attitude to re$ei*i!g pai!IH Christia! loo#s e1pe$ta!tly at e%
GJoure biti!g your lip,H he says dar#ly%
8 stop iediately, but 8 do!t #!o" "hat to say% 8 flush a!d stare do"! at y ha!ds%
GWere you physi$ally pu!ished as a $hildIH
G+o%H
GSo you ha*e !o sphere of refere!$e at allIH
G+o%H
G8ts !ot as bad as you thi!#% Jour iagi!atio! is your "orst e!ey i! this,H he "hispers%
G<o you ha*e to do itIH
GJes%H
GWhyIH
G>oes "ith the territory, &!astasia% 8ts "hat 8 do% 8 $a! see youre !er*ous% Lets go through
ethods%H
3e sho"s e the list% =y sub$o!s$ious ru!s, s$reai!g, a!d hides behi!d the $ou$h%
U Spa!#i!g
U .addli!g
U Whippi!g
U Ca!i!g
U 0iti!g
U +ipple $laps
U >e!ital $laps
U 8$e
U 3ot "a1
U /ther types?ethods of pai!
GWell, you said !o to ge!ital $laps% Thats fi!e% 8ts $a!i!g that hurts the ost%H
8 bla!$h%
GWe $a! "or# up to that%H
G/r !ot do it at all,H 8 "hisper%
GThis is part of the deal, baby, but "ell "or# up to all of this% &!astasia, 8 "o!t push you too
far%H
GThis pu!ishe!t thi!g, it "orries e the ost%H =y *oi$e is *ery sall%
GWell, 8 glad you*e told e% Well #eep $a!i!g off the list for !o"% &!d as you get ore
$ofortable "ith this stuff, "ell i!$rease i!te!sity% Well ta#e it slo"%H
8 s"allo", a!d he lea!s for"ard a!d #isses e o! y lips%
GThere, that "as!t so bad "as itIH
8 shrug, y heart i! outh agai!%
GLoo#, 8 "a!t to tal# about o!e ore thi!g, the! 8 ta#i!g you to bed%H
G0edIH 8 bli!# rapidly, a!d y blood pou!ds rou!d y body, "ari!g pla$es 8 did!t #!o"
e1isted u!til *ery re$e!tly%
GCoe o!, &!astasia, tal#i!g through all this, 8 "a!t to fu$# you i!to !e1t "ee#, right !o"% 8t
ust be ha*i!g soe effe$t o! you too%H
8 sBuir% =y i!!er goddess is pa!ti!g%
GSeeI 0eside, theres soethi!g 8 "a!t to try%H
GSoethi!g pai!fulIH
G+o C stop seei!g pai! e*ery"here% 8ts ai!ly pleasure% 3a*e 8 hurt you yetIH
8 flush%
G+o%H
GWell the!% Loo#, earlier today you "ere tal#i!g about "a!ti!g ore,H he halts, u!$ertai! all
of a sudde!%
Oh my0 where*s this going.
3e $lasps y ha!d%
G/utside of the tie youre y sub, perhaps "e $ould try% 8 do!t #!o" if it "ill "or#%
8 do!t #!o" about separati!g e*erythi!g% 8t ay !ot "or#% 0ut 8 "illi!g to try% =aybe o!e
!ight a "ee#% 8 do!t #!o"%H
3oly $o"L y outh drops ope!, y sub$o!s$ious is i! sho$#, Christian $rey is up for
more& 3es "illi!g to tryK =y sub$o!s$ious pee#s out fro behi!d the $ou$h, still registeri!g
sho$# o! her harpy fa$e%
G8 ha*e o!e $o!ditio!%H 3e loo#s "arily at y stu!!ed e1pressio!%
GWhatIH 8 breathe% &!ythi!g% 8ll gi*e you a!ythi!g%
GJou gra$iously a$$ept y graduatio! prese!t to you%H
G/h%H &!d deep do"! 8 #!o" "hat it is% <read spa"!s i! y belly%
3es stari!g do"! at e, gaugi!g y rea$tio!%
GCoe,H he ururs a!d rises, draggi!g e up% Ta#i!g his @a$#et off, he drapes it o*er y
shoulders a!d heads for the door%
.ar#ed outside is a red hat$hba$# $ar, a t"o9door $opa$t &udi%
G8ts for you% 3appy graduatio!,H he ururs, pulli!g e i!to his ars a!d #issi!g y hair%
3es bought e a da!ed $ar, bra!d !e" by the loo#s of it% JeeFL 8*e had e!ough trouble
"ith the boo#s% 8 stare at it bla!#ly, tryi!g desperately to deteri!e ho" 8 feel about this% 8 a
appalled o! o!e le*el, grateful o! a!other, sho$#ed that hes a$tually do!e it, but the o*erridi!g
eotio! is a!ger% Jes, 8 a!gry, espe$ially after e*erythi!g 8 told hi about the boo#sL but the!
hed already bought this% Ta#i!g y ha!d, he leads e do"! the path to"ard this !e" a$Buisitio!%
G&!astasia, that 0eetle of yours is old a!d fra!#ly da!gerous% 8 "ould !e*er forgi*e yself if
soethi!g happe!ed to you "he! its so easy for e to a#e it right,H he trails off% 3is eyes are o!
e, but at the oe!t 8 $a!!ot bri!g yself to loo# at hi% 8 sta!d sile!tly stari!g at its a"esoe
bright red !e"!ess%
G8 e!tio!ed it to your stepfather% 3e "as all for it,H he ururs%
Tur!i!g, 8 glare at hi, y outh ope! i! horror%
GJou e!tio!ed this to Day% 3o" $ould youIH 8 $a! barely spit the "ords out% 7ow dare he.
.oor Day% 8 feel si$#, ortified for y dad%
G8ts a gift, &!astasia% Ca!t you @ust say tha!# youIH
G0ut you #!o" its too u$h%H
G+ot to e it is!t, !ot for y pea$e of i!d%H
8 fro"! at hi, at a loss "hat to say% 3e @ust does!t get itK 3es had o!ey all his life%
/#ay, !ot all his life C !ot as a sall $hild C a!d y "orld9*ie" shifts% The thought is *ery
soberi!g, a!d 8 softe! to"ards the $ar, feeli!g guilty about y fit of piBue% 3is i!te!tio!s are good,
isguided, but !ot fro a bad pla$e%
G8 happy for you to loa! this to e, li#e the laptop%H
3e sighs hea*ily%
G/#ay% /! loa!% 8!defi!itely%H 3e loo#s "arily at e%
G+o, !ot i!defi!itely, but for !o"% Tha!# you%H
3e fro"!s% 8 rea$h up a!d #iss hi briefly o! his $hee#%
GTha!# you for the $ar, sir%H 8 say as s"eetly as 8 $a! a!age%
3e grabs e sudde!ly a!d ya!#s e up agai!st hi, o!e ha!d at y ba$# holdi!g e to hi
a!d the other fisti!g i! y hair%
GJou are o!e $halle!gi!g "oa!, &!a Steele%H 3e #isses e passio!ately, for$i!g y lips
apart "ith his to!gue, ta#i!g !o priso!ers%
=y blood heats iediately, a!d 8 retur!i!g his #iss "ith y o"! passio!% 8 "a!t hi
badly C i! spite of the $ar, the boo#s, the soft liitsL the $a!i!gL 8 "a!t hi%
G8ts ta#i!g all y self9$o!trol !ot to fu$# you o! the hood of this $ar right !o", @ust to sho"
you that you are i!e, a!d if 8 "a!t to buy you a fu$#i!g $ar, 8ll buy you a fu$#i!g $ar,H he gro"ls%
G+o" lets get you i!side a!d !a#ed%H 3e pla!ts a s"ift rough #iss o! e%
0oy, hes a!gry% 3e grabs y ha!d a!d leads e ba$# i!to the aparte!t a!d straight i!to y
bedrooL !o passi!g go% =y sub$o!s$ious is behi!d the sofa agai!, head hidde! u!der her ha!ds%
3e s"it$hes o! the sidelight a!d halts, stari!g at e%
G.lease do!t be a!gry "ith e,H 8 "hisper%
3is gaFe is ipassi*eP his gray eyes $old shards of so#y glass%
G8 sorry about the $ar a!d the boo#s,H 8 trail off% 3e reai!s sile!t a!d broodi!g%
GJou s$are e "he! youre a!gry,H 8 breathe, stari!g at hi%
3e $loses his eyes a!d sha#es his head% Whe! he ope!s the, his e1pressio! has softe!ed
fra$tio!ally% 3e ta#es a deep breath a!d s"allo"s%
GTur! rou!d,H he "hispers% G8 "a!t to get you out of that dress%H
&!other er$urial ood s"i!g, its so hard to #eep up% /bedie!tly, 8 tur! a!d y heart is
thupi!g, desire i!sta!tly repla$i!g u!ease, $oursi!g through y blood a!d settli!g dar# a!d
year!i!g lo", lo" i! y belly% 3e s$oops y hair off y ba$# so it ha!gs do"! y right side,
$urli!g at y breast% 3e pla$es his i!de1 fi!ger at the !ape of y !e$# a!d a$hi!gly slo"ly drags it
do"! y spi!e% 3is "ell9a!i$ured fi!ger!ail ge!tly graFes do"! y ba$#%
G8 li#e this dress,H he ururs% G8 li#e to see your fla"less s#i!%H
3is fi!ger rea$hes the ba$# of y halter dress id"ay do"! y spi!e, a!d hoo#i!g his fi!ger
be!eath the top, he pulls e $loser so that 8 step ba$# agai!st hi% 8 feel hi flush agai!st y body%
Lea!i!g do"!, he i!hales y hair%
GJou sell so good, &!astasia% So s"eet%H 3is !ose s#is past y ear do"! y !e$#, a!d he
trails soft, feather light #isses alo!g y shoulder%
=y breathi!g $ha!ges, be$oi!g shallo", rushed, full of e1pe$tatio!% 3is fi!gers are at y
Fipper% &$hi!gly slo", o!$e ore he eases it do"! "hile his lips o*e, li$#i!g a!d #issi!g a!d
su$#i!g their "ay a$ross to y other shoulder% 3e is so ta!taliFi!gly good at this% =y body
reso!ates, a!d 8 start to sBuir la!guidly be!eath his tou$h%
GJou% &re% >oi!g% To% 3a*e% To% Lear!% To% Eeep% Still,H he "hispers, #issi!g e arou!d y
!ape bet"ee! ea$h "ord%
3e tugs at the faste!i!g at the halter !e$#, a!d the dress drops a!d pools at y feet%
G+o bra, =iss Steele% 8 li#e that%H
3is ha!ds rea$h rou!d a!d $up y breasts, a!d y !ipples pu$#er at his tou$h%
GLift your ars a!d put the arou!d y head,H he ururs agai!st y !e$#%
8 obey iediately, a!d y breasts rise a!d push i!to his ha!ds, y !ipples harde!i!g
further% =y fi!gers "ea*e i!to his hair, a!d *ery ge!tly 8 tug his soft, se1y hair% 8 roll y head to
o!e side to gi*e hi easier a$$ess to y !e$#%
G=L H he ururs i!to that spa$e behi!d y ear, as he starts to e1te!d y !ipples "ith
his lo!g fi!gers, irrori!g y ha!ds i! his hair%
8 groa! as the se!satio! registers sharp a!d $lear i! y groi!%
GShall 8 a#e you $oe this "ayIH he "hispers%
8 ar$h y ba$# to for$e y breasts i!to his e1pert ha!ds%
GJou li#e this, do!t you, =iss SteeleIH
G=L H
GTell e%H 3e $o!ti!ues the slo" se!suous torture, pulli!g ge!tly%
GJes%H
GJes, "hat%H
GJesL Sir%H
G>ood girl%H 3e pi!$hes e hard, a!d y body "rithes $o!*ulsi*ely agai!st his fro!t%
8 gasp at the e1Buisite, a$ute, pleasure?pai!% 8 feel hi agai!st e% 8 oa! a!d y ha!ds
$le!$h i! his hair pulli!g harder%
G8 do!t thi!# youre ready to $oe yet,H he "hispers, stilli!g his ha!ds, a!d he ge!tly bites
y earlobe a!d tugs at it% G0esides, you ha*e displeased e%H
Oh0 no what will this mean. =y brai! registers through the fog of !eedy desire as 8 groa!%
GSo perhaps 8 "o!t let you $oe after all%H 3e retur!s the atte!tio! of his fi!gers to y
!ipples, pulli!g, t"isti!g, #!eadi!g% 8 gri!d y behi!d agai!st hiL o*i!g side to side%
8 feel his gri! agai!st y !e$# as his ha!ds o*e do"! to y hips% 3is fi!gers hoo# i!to y
pa!ties at the ba$#, stret$hi!g the, a!d he pushes his thubs through the aterial, shreddi!g the
a!d tossi!g the i! fro!t of e so 8 $a! see 0 holy shit. 3is ha!ds o*e do"! to y se1L a!d
fro behi!d, he slo"ly i!serts his fi!ger%
G/h, yes% =y s"eet girl is all ready,H he breathes as he "hirls e rou!d so 8 fa$i!g hi%
3is breathi!g has Bui$#e!ed% 3e puts his fi!ger i! his outh% GJou taste so fi!e, =iss Steele%H 3e
sighs% G5!dress e,H he $oa!ds Buietly, stari!g do"! at e, eyes hooded%
&ll 8 "eari!g is y shoes, "ell, Eates high9heeled pups% 8 ta#e! aba$#% 8*e !e*er
u!dressed a a!%
GJou $a! do it,H he $a@oles softly%
Oh my. 8 bli!# rapidly% Where to startI 8 rea$h for his t9shirt, a!d he grabs y ha!ds a!d
sha#es his head, sili!g slyly at e%
G/h !o%H 3e sha#es his head, gri!!i!g% G+ot the t9shirt, you ay !eed to tou$h e for "hat 8
ha*e pla!!ed%H 3is eyes are ali*e "ith e1$itee!t%
Oh0 this is news0 I can touch with clothes. 3e ta#es o!e of y ha!ds a!d pla$es it agai!st
his ere$tio!%
GThis is the effe$t you ha*e o! e, =iss Steele%H
8 gasp a!d fle1 y fi!gers arou!d his girth, a!d he gri!s%
G8 "a!t to be i!side you% Ta#e y @ea!s off% Joure i! $harge%H
7oly fuc(0 me in charge. =y outh drops ope!%
GWhat are you goi!g to do "ith eIH he teases%
Oh the possi,ilities L y i!!er goddess roars, a!d fro soe"here bor! of frustratio!, !eed,
a!d sheer Steele bra*ery, 8 push hi o! to the bed% 3e laughs as he falls, a!d 8 gaFe do"! at hi
feeli!g *i$torious% =y i!!er goddess is goi!g to e1plode% 8 ya!# off his shoes, Bui$#ly, $lusily, a!d
his so$#s% 3es stari!g up at e, his eyes lui!ous "ith ausee!t a!d desire% 3e loo#sL
gloriousL mine. 8 $ra"l up the bed a!d sit astride hi to u!do his @ea!s, slidi!g y fi!gers u!der
the "aistba!d, feeli!g the hair i! his oh so happy trail% 3e $loses his eyes a!d fle1es his hips%
GJoull ha*e to lear! to #eep still,H 8 s$old, a!d 8 tug at the hair u!der his "aistba!d%
3is breath hit$hes, a!d he gri!s at e%
GJes, =iss Steele,H he ururs, eyes bur!i!g bright% G8! y po$#et, $o!do,H he breathes%
8 sear$h i! his po$#et slo"ly, "at$hi!g his fa$e as 8 feel arou!d% 3is outh is ope!% 8 fish out
both foil pa$#ets that 8 fi!d a!d lay the o! the bed by his hips% 1wo& =y o*er9eager fi!gers rea$h
for the butto! of his "aistba!d a!d u!do it, fubli!g a little% 8 a beyo!d e1$ited%
GSo eager, =iss Steele,H he ururs, his *oi$e la$ed "ith huor% 8 tug do"! the Fipper, a!d
!o" 8 fa$ed "ith the proble of reo*i!g his pa!tsL hmm. 8 shuffle do"! a!d pull% They
hardly o*e% 8 fro"!% 3o" $a! this be so diffi$ultI
G8 $a!t #eep still if youre goi!g to bite that lip,H he "ar!s, the! ar$hes his pel*is up off the
bed so 8 able to tug do"! his trousers a!d his bo1ers at the sae tie, "hoaL
freei!g hi% 3e #i$#s his $lothes to the floor%
3oly =oses, hes all i!e to play "ith, a!d sudde!ly its Christas%
G+o" "hat are you goi!g to doIH he breathes, all tra$e of huor go!e% 8 rea$h up a!d tou$h
hi, "at$hi!g his e1pressio! as 8 do% 3is outh shapes li#e a letter / as he ta#es a sharp breath%
3is s#i! is so sooth a!d softL a!d hardL h, "hat a deli$ious $obi!atio!% 8 lea! for"ard,
y hair falli!g arou!d e, a!d hes i! y outh% 8 su$#, hard% 3e $loses his eyes, his hips @er#i!g
be!eath e%
GJeeF, &!a, steady,H he groa!s%
8 feel so po"erful, its su$h a heady feeli!g, teasi!g a!d testi!g hi "ith y outh a!d
to!gue% 3e te!ses u!der!eath e as 8 ru! y outh up a!d do"! hi, pushi!g hi to the ba$# of
y throat, y lips tightL agai! a!d agai!%
GStop, &!a, stop% 8 do!t "a!t to $oe%H
8 sit up, bli!#i!g at hi, a!d 8 pa!ti!g li#e hi, but $o!fused% I thought I was in charge.
=y i!!er goddess loo#s li#e soeo!e s!at$hed her i$e $rea%
GJoure i!!o$e!$e a!d e!thusias is *ery disari!g,H he gasps% GJou, o! topL thats "hat
"e !eed to do%H
Oh.
G3ere, put this o!%H 3e ha!ds e a foil pa$#et%
7oly Crap. 7ow. 8 rip the pa$#et ope!, a!d the rubbery $o!do is all ta$#y i! y fi!gers%
G.i!$h the top a!d the! roll it do"!% Jou do!t "a!t a!y air i! the e!d of that su$#er,H
he pa!ts%
&!d *ery slo"ly, $o!$e!trati!g hard, 8 do as 8 told%
GChrist, youre #illi!g e here, &!astasia,H he groa!s%
8 adire y ha!di"or# a!d hi% 3e really is a fi!e spe$ie! of a a!, loo#i!g at hi is *ery,
*ery arousi!g%
G+o"% 8 "a!t to be buried i!side you,H he ururs% 8 stare do"! at hi, dau!ted, a!d he sits
up sudde!ly, so "ere !ose to !ose%
GLi#e this,H he breathes, a!d he s!a#es o!e ha!d rou!d y hips, lifti!g e slightly, a!d "ith
the other he positio!s hiself be!eath e, a!d *ery slo"ly, eases e o! to hi%
8 groa! as he stret$hes e ope!, filli!g e, y outh ha!gi!g ope! i! surprise at the s"eet,
sublie, ago!iFi!g, o*er9full feeli!g% Oh0 please.
GThats right, baby, feel e, all of e,H he gro"ls a!d briefly $loses his eyes%
&!d hes i!side e, sheathed to the hilt, a!d he holds e i! pla$e, for se$o!dsL i!utesL 8
ha*e !o idea,, stari!g i!te!tly i!to y eyes%
G8ts deep this "ay,H he ururs% 3e fle1es a!d s"i*els his hips i! the sae otio!, a!d 8
groa!L oh y C the se!satio! radiates throughout y bellyL e*ery"here% 'uc(&
G&gai!,H 8 "hisper% 3e gri!s a laFy gri! a!d obliges%
=oa!i!g, 8 thro" y head ba$#, y hair tubli!g do"! y ba$#, a!d *ery slo"ly, he si!#s
ba$# do"! o! to the bed%
GJou o*e, &!astasia, up a!d do"!, ho" you "a!t% Ta#e y ha!ds,H he breathes, his *oi$e
hoarse a!d lo" a!d oh so se1y%
8 $lasp his ha!ds, holdi!g o! for life% >e!tly 8 push off hi a!d ba$# do"!, oh my % 3is eyes
are bur!i!g "ith "ild a!ti$ipatio!% 3is breathi!g is ragged, at$hi!g i!e, a!d he lifts his pel*is as
8 $oe do"!, bou!$i!g e ba$# up% We pi$# up the rhythL up, do"!, up, do"!L o*er a!d
o*erL a!d it feels soL good% 0et"ee! y pa!ti!g breaths, the deep do"!, brii!g full!essL
the *ehee!t se!satio! pulsi!g through e thats buildi!g Bui$#ly, 8 "at$h hi, our eyes lo$#edL
a!d 8 see "o!der there, "o!der at e%
8 a fu$#i!g hi% 8 a i! $harge% 3es i!e, a!d 8 his% The thought pushes e, "eighted
"ith $o!$rete, o*er the edge, a!d 8 $lia1 arou!d hiL shouti!g i!$ohere!tly%
3e grabs y hips, a!d $losi!g his eyes, tippi!g his head ba$#, his @a" strai!ed, he $oes
Buietly% 8 $ollapse o! to his $hest, o*er"heled, soe"here bet"ee! fa!tasy a!d reality, a pla$e
"here there are !o hard or soft liits%
Slo"ly the outside "orld i!*ades y se!ses, a!d oh y, "hat a! i!*asio!% 8 a floati!g, y
libs soft a!d la!guid, utterly spe!t% 8 lyi!g o! top of hi, y head o! his $hest, a!d he sells
di*i!e: fresh, lau!dered li!e! a!d soe e1pe!si*e body "ash, a!d the best, ost sedu$ti*e s$e!t o!
the pla!etL Christia!% 8 do!t "a!t to o*e, 8 "a!t to breathe this eli1ir for eter!ity% 8 !uFFle hi,
"ishi!g 8 did!t ha*e the barrier of his t9shirt% &!d as rhye a!d reaso! retur! to the rest of y
body, 8 stret$h y ha!d out o! his $hest% This is the first tie 8*e tou$hed hi here% 3es firL
stro!g% 3is ha!d s"oops up a!d grabs i!e, but he softe!s the blo" by pulli!g it to his outh a!d
s"eetly #issi!g y #!u$#les%
3e rolls o*er so hes gaFi!g do"! at e%
G<o!t,H he ururs, the! #isses e lightly%
GWhy do!t you li#e to be tou$hedIH 8 "hisper, stari!g up i!to soft gray eyes%
G0e$ause 8 fifty shades of fu$#ed9up, &!astasia%H
/hL his ho!esty is $opletely disari!g% 8 bli!# up at hi%
G8 had a *ery tough i!trodu$tio! to life% 8 do!t "a!t to burde! you "ith the details%
Just do!t%H 3e stro#es his !ose agai!st i!e, a!d the! he pulls out of e a!d sits up%
G8 thi!# thats all the *ery basi$s $o*ered% 3o" "as thatIH
3e loo#s thoroughly pleased "ith hiself a!d sou!ds *ery atter9of9fa$t at the sae tie,
li#e hes @ust ar#ed a!other ti$# bo1 i! a $he$#list% 8 still reeli!g fro the tough i!trodu$tio! to
life $oe!t% 8ts so frustrati!g C 8 a desperate to #!o" ore% 0ut he "o!t tell e% 8 $o$# y
head to o!e side, li#e he does, a!d a#e a! e!orous effort to sile at hi%
G8f you iagi!e for o!e i!ute that 8 thi!# you $eded $o!trol to e, "ell you ha*e!t ta#e!
i!to a$$ou!t y >.&%H 8 sile shyly at hi% G0ut tha!# you for the illusio!%H
G=iss Steele, you are !ot @ust a pretty fa$e% Jou*e had si1 orgass so far a!d all of the
belo!g to e,H he boasts, playful agai!%
8 flush a!d bli!# at the sae tie, as he stares do"! at e% 7e*s (eeping count& 3is bro"
furro"s%
G<o you ha*e soethi!g to tell eIH his *oi$e is sudde!ly ster!%
8 fro"! . Crap.
G8 had a drea this or!i!g%H
G/hIH 3e glares at e%
4ou,le crap. Am I in trou,le.
G8 $ae i! y sleep%H 8 thro" y ar o*er y eyes% 3e says !othi!g% 8 pee# up at hi fro
u!der y ar, a!d he loo#s aused%
G8! your sleepIH
GWo#e e up%H
G8 sure it did% What "ere you dreai!g aboutIH
Crap.
GJou%H
GWhat "as 8 doi!gIH
8 thro" y ar o*er y eyes agai!% &!d li#e a sall $hild, 8 briefly e!tertai! the thought that
if 8 $a!t see hi, the! he $a!t see e%
G&!astasia, "hat "as 8 doi!gI 8 "o!t as# you agai!%H
GJou had a ridi!g $rop%H
3e o*es y ar%
GDeallyIH
GJes%H 8 a $riso!%
GTheres hope for you yet,H he ururs% G8 ha*e se*eral ridi!g $rops%H
G0ro"! plaited leatherIH
3e laughs%
G+o, but 8 sure 8 $ould get o!e%H 3is gray eyes blaFe "ith e1$itee!t%
Lea!i!g do"!, he gi*es e a brief #iss the! sta!ds a!d grabs his bo1ers, oh no0 he*s going.
8 gla!$e Bui$#ly at the tie C its o!ly !i!e9forty% 8 s$oot out of bed too a!d grab y s"eat pa!ts
a!d a $ai top, the! sit ba$# o! the bed, $ross9legged, "at$hi!g hi% 8 do!t "a!t hi to go% What
$a! 8 doI
GWhe! is your period dueIH 3e i!terrupts y thoughts%
#hat&
G8 hate "eari!g these thi!gs,H he grubles% 3e holds up the $o!do, the! puts it o! the floor,
a!d slips o! his @ea!s%
GWellIH he propts "he! 8 do!t reply, a!d he loo#s at e e1pe$ta!tly as if hes "aiti!g for
y opi!io! o! the "eather% 3oly $rapL this is perso!al stuff%
G+e1t "ee#%H 8 stare do"! at y ha!ds%
GJou !eed to sort out soe $o!tra$eptio!%H
3e is so bossy% 8 stare at hi bla!#ly% 3e sits ba$# o! the bed as he puts o! his shoes a!d
so$#s%
G<o you ha*e a do$torIH
8 sha#e y head% We are ba$# to ergers a!d a$Buisitio!s C a!other 1)09degree ood s"i!g%
3e fro"!s%
G8 $a! ha*e i!e $oe a!d see you at your aparte!t C Su!day or!i!g before you $oe a!d
see e% /r he $a! see you at y pla$e% Whi$h "ould you preferIH
"o pressure then. Soethi!g else that hes payi!g forL but a$tually this is for his be!efit%
GJour pla$e%H That ea!s 8 a guara!teed to see hi Su!day%
G/#ay% 8ll let you #!o" the tie%H
G&re you lea*i!gIH
4on*t go0 stay with me please.
GJes%H
#hy.
G3o" are you getti!g ba$#IH 8 "hisper%
GTaylor "ill pi$# e up%H
G8 $a! dri*e you% 8 ha*e a lo*ely !e" $ar%H
3e gaFes at e, his e1pressio! "ar%
GThats ore li#e it% 0ut 8 thi!# you*e had too u$h to dri!#%H
G<id you get e tipsy o! purposeIH
GJes%H
GWhyIH
G0e$ause you o*er9thi!# e*erythi!g, a!d youre reti$e!t li#e your stepdad% & drop of "i!e i!
you a!d you start tal#i!g, a!d 8 !eed you to $ou!i$ate ho!estly "ith e% /ther"ise you $la
up, a!d 8 ha*e !o idea "hat youre thi!#i!g% 8! *i!o *eritas, &!astasia%H
G&!d you thi!# youre al"ays ho!est "ith eIH
G8 e!dea*or to be%H 3e loo#s do"! at e "arily% GThis "ill o!ly "or# if "ere ho!est "ith
ea$h other%H
G8d li#e you to stay a!d use this%H 8 hold up the se$o!d $o!do%
3e siles a!d his eyes glo" "ith huor%
G&!astasia, 8 ha*e $rossed so a!y li!es here to!ight% 8 ha*e to go% 8ll see you o! Su!day% 8ll
ha*e the re*ised $o!tra$t ready for you, a!d the! "e $a! really start to play%H
G.layIH 7oly shit. =y heart leaps i!to y outh%
G8d li#e to do a s$e!e "ith you% 0ut 8 "o!t u!til you*e sig!ed, so 8 #!o" youre ready%H
G/h% So 8 $ould stret$h this out, if 8 do!t sig!IH
3e gaFes at e assessi!g, a!d the! his lips t"it$h i!to a sile%
GWell, 8 suppose you $ould, but 8 ay $ra$# u!der the strai!%H
GCra$#I 3o"IH =y i!!er goddess has "o#e! a!d is payi!g atte!tio!%
3e !ods slo"ly, a!d the! he gri!s, teasi!g%
GCould get really ugly%H
3is gri! is i!fe$tious%
G5gly, ho"IH
G/h you #!o", e1plosio!s, $ar $hases, #id!appi!g, i!$ar$eratio!%H
GJoud #id!ap eIH
G/h yes,H he gri!s%
G3old e agai!st y "illIH =ee: this is hot.
G/h yes,H he !ods% G&!d the! "ere tal#i!g T.E 2S?7%H
GJou*e lost e,H 8 breathe, y heart is pou!di!gL is he serious.
GTotal .o"er E1$ha!ge C rou!d the $lo$#%H 3is eyes are shi!i!g, a!d 8 $a! feel his e1$itee!t
fro "here 8 sit%
7oly shit.
GSo you ha*e !o $hoi$e,H he says sardo!i$ally%
GClearly%H 8 $a!t #eep the sar$as out of y *oi$e as y eyes rea$h for the hea*e!s%
G/h, &!astasia Steele, did you @ust roll your eyes at eIH
Crap.
G+o,H 8 sBuea#%
G8 thi!# you did% What did 8 say 8d do to you if you rolled your eyes at e agai!IH
%hit. 3e sits do"! o! the edge of the bed%
GCoe here,H he says softly%
8 bla!$h% JeeFL hes serious% 8 sit stari!g at hi $opletely iobile%
G8 ha*e!t sig!ed,H 8 "hisper%
G8 told you "hat 8d do% 8 a a! of y "ord% 8 goi!g to spa!# you, a!d the! 8 goi!g to
fu$# you *ery Bui$# a!d *ery hard% Loo#s li#e "ell !eed that $o!do after all%H
3is *oi$e is so soft, e!a$i!g, a!d it*s damned hot % =y i!sides pra$ti$ally $o!tort "ith
pote!t, !eedy, liBuid, desire% 3e gaFes at e, "aiti!g, eyes blaFi!g% Te!tati*ely, 8 u!$url y legs%
%hould I run. This is it, our relatio!ship ha!gs i! the bala!$e, right here, right !o"% <o 8 let hi
do this or do 8 say !o, a!d the! thats itI 0e$ause 8 #!o" it "ill be o*er if 8 say !o% 4o it& =y i!!er
goddess pleads "ith e, y sub$o!s$ious is as paralyFed as 8 a%G8 "aiti!g,H he says% G8 !ot a
patie!t a!%H
Oh for the lo6e of all that*s holy. 8 pa!ti!g, afraid, tur!ed o!% 0lood pou!di!g through y
body, y legs are li#e @elly% Slo"ly, 8 $ra"l o*er to hi u!til 8 a beside hi%
G>ood girl,H he ururs% G+o" sta!d up%H
/h shitL $a!t he @ust get this o*er "ithI 8 !ot sure if 8 $a! sta!d% 3esita!tly, 8 $laber to
y feet% 3e holds his ha!d out, a!d 8 pla$e the $o!do i! his pal% Sudde!ly he grabs e, tippi!g
e a$ross his lap% With o!e sooth o*ee!t, he a!gles his body so y torso is resti!g o! the bed
beside hi% 3e thro"s his right leg o*er both of i!e a!d pla!ts his left forear o! the sall of y
ba$#, holdi!g e do"! so 8 $a!!ot o*e% Oh fuc(. G.ut your ha!ds up o! either side of your
head,H he orders%
8 obey iediately%
GWhy a 8 doi!g this, &!astasiaIH he as#s%
G0e$ause 8 rolled y eyes at you,H 8 $a! barely spea#%
G<o you thi!# thats politeIH
G+o%H
GWill you do it agai!IH
G+o%H
G8 "ill spa!# you ea$h tie you do it, do you u!dersta!dIH
Aery slo"ly, he pulls do"! y s"eatpa!ts% /h, ho" deea!i!g is this, deea!i!g a!d s$ary
a!d hot% 3es a#i!g su$h a eal of this% =y heart is i! y outh% 8 $a! barely breathe% %hit is this
going to hurt.
3e pla$es his ha!d o! y !a#ed behi!d, softly fo!dli!g e, stro#i!g rou!d a!d rou!d "ith
his flat pal% &!d the! his ha!d is !o lo!ger thereL a!d he hits e C hard% Ow& =y eyes spri!g
ope! i! respo!se to the pai!, a!d 8 try to rise, but his ha!d o*es bet"ee! y shoulder blades
#eepi!g e do"!% 3e $aresses e agai! "here hes hit e, a!d his breathi!gs $ha!ged C its
louder, harsher% 3e hits e agai! a!d agai!, Bui$#ly i! su$$essio!%
7oly fuc( it hurts. 8 a#e !o sou!d, y fa$e s$re"ed up agai!st the pai!% 8 try a!d "riggle
a"ay fro the blo"s C spurred o! by adre!ali!e spi#i!g a!d $oursi!g through y body%
GEeep still,H he gro"ls% G/r 8ll spa!# you for lo!ger%H
3es rubbi!g e !o", a!d the blo" follo"s% & rhythi$ patter! eerges, $aress, fo!dle, slap
hard% 8 ha*e to $o!$e!trate to ha!dle this pai!% =y i!d epties as 8 e!dea*or to absorb the
grueli!g se!satio!% 3e does!t hit e i! the sae pla$e t"i$e i! su$$essio!
C hes spreadi!g the pai!%
G&arghKH 8 $ry out o! the te!th slap C a!d 8 u!a"are that 8 ha*e bee! e!tally $ou!ti!g the
blo"s%
G8 @ust getti!g "ared up%H
3e hits e agai! the! he stro#es e softly% The $obi!atio! of the hard sti!gi!g blo" a!d his
ge!tle $aress is so i!d !ubi!g% 3e hits e agai!L this is getti!g harder to ta#e%
=y fa$e hurts, its s$re"ed up so tight% 3e stro#es e ge!tly a!d the! the blo" $oes% 8 $ry
out agai!%
G+o o!e to hear you, baby, @ust e%H
&!d he hits e agai! a!d agai!% Fro soe"here deep i!side, 8 "a!t to beg hi to stop% 0ut
8 do!t% 8 do!t "a!t to gi*e hi the satisfa$tio!% 3e $o!ti!ues the u!rele!ti!g rhyth% 8 $ry out si1
ore ties% Eightee! slaps i! total% =y body is si!gi!g, si!gi!g fro his er$iless assault%
GE!ough,H he breathes hoarsely% GWell do!e, &!astasia% +o" 8 goi!g to fu$# you%H
3e $aresses y behi!d ge!tly, a!d it bur!s as he stro#es e rou!d a!d rou!d a!d do"!%
Sudde!ly, he i!serts t"o fi!gers i!side e, ta#i!g e $opletely by surprise% 8 gasp, this !e"
assault brea#i!g through the !ub!ess arou!d y brai!%
GFeel this% See ho" u$h your body li#es this, &!astasia% Joure soa#i!g @ust for e%H
There is a"e i! his *oi$e% 3e o*es his fi!gers, i! a!d out i! Bui$# su$$essio!%
8 groa!, !o surely !ot, a!d the! his fi!gers are go!eL a!d 8 left "a!ti!g%
G+e1t tie, 8 "ill get you to $ou!t% +o" "heres that $o!doIH
3e rea$hes beside hi for the $o!do a!d lifts e ge!tly, pushi!g e fa$e do"! o!to the
bed% 8 hear the sou!d of his Fipper a!d the rip of the foil% 3e drags y s"eatpa!ts off a!d the!
guides e i!to a #!eeli!g positio!, ge!tly $aressi!g y !o" *ery sore behi!d%
G8 goi!g to ta#e you !o"% Jou $a! $oe,H he ururs%
#hat. Gi(e I ha6e a choice.
&!d hes i!side e, Bui$#ly filli!g e, 8 oa! loudly% 3e o*es, pou!di!g i!to e, a fast,
i!te!se pa$e agai!st y sore behi!d% The feeli!g is beyo!d e1Buisite, ra" a!d debas9i!g a!d i!d
blo"i!g% =y se!ses are ra*aged, dis$o!!e$ted, solely $o!$e!trati!g o! "hat hes doi!g to e% 3o"
hes a#i!g e feel, that failiar pull deep i! y belly, tighte!i!g, Bui$#e!i!g% +/L a!d y
traitorous body e1plodes i! a! i!te!se, body9shatteri!g orgas%
G/h, &!aKH he $ries out loudly as he fi!ds his release, holdi!g e i! pla$e as he pours hiself
i!to e% 3e $ollapses, pa!ti!g hard beside e, a!d he pulls e o! top of hi a!d buries his fa$e i!
y hair, holdi!g e $lose%
G/h, baby,H he breathes% GWel$oe to y "orld%H
We lie there, pa!ti!g together, "aiti!g for our breathi!g to slo"% 3e ge!tly stro#es y hair%
8 o! his $hest agai!% 0ut this tie, 8 do!t ha*e the stre!gth to lift y ha!d a!d feel hi% 9oy0 I
sur6i6ed. That "as!t so bad% 8 ore stoi$ tha! 8 thought% =y i!!er goddess is prostrateL "ell
at least shes Buiet% Christia! !uFFles y hair agai!, i!hali!g deeply%
GWell do!e, baby,H he "hispers, Buiet @oy i! his *oi$e% 3is "ords $url arou!d e li#e a soft
fluffy to"el fro the 3eatha! 3otel, a!d 8 so pleased that hes happy%
3e pi$#s at the strap o! y $aisole%
G8s this "hat you sleep i!IH he as#s ge!tly%
GJes,H 8 breathe sleepily%
GJou should be i! sil#s a!d sati!s, you beautiful girl% 8ll ta#e you shoppi!g%H
G8 li#e y s"eats,H 8 urur, tryi!g a!d faili!g to sou!d irritated%
3e #isses y head agai!%
GWell see,H he says%
We lie for a fe" ore i!utes, hours, "ho #!o"s, a!d 8 thi!# 8 doFe%
G8 ha*e to go,H he says, a!d lea!i!g do"!, he #isses y forehead ge!tly% G&re you o#ayIH 3is
*oi$e is soft%
8 thi!# about his Buestio!% =y ba$#side is sore% Well, glo"i!g !o", a!d aaFi!gly 8 feel,
apart fro e1hausted, radia!t% The realiFatio! is hubli!g, u!e1pe$ted% 8 do!t u!dersta!d% 7oly
shit.
G8 o#ay,H 8 "hisper% 8 do!t "a!t to say ore tha! that%
3e rises%
GWheres your bathrooIH
G&lo!g the $orridor to the left%H
3e s$oops up the other $o!do a!d heads out of the bedroo% 8 rise stiffly a!d put y
s"eatpa!ts ba$# o!% They $hafe a little agai!st y still9sarti!g behi!d% 8 so $o!fused by y
rea$tio!% 8 reeber hi sayi!g C 8 $a!t reeber "he! C that 8 "ould feel so u$h better after a
good hidi!g% 7ow can that ,e so. 8 really do!t get it% 0ut stra!gely, 8 do% 8 $a!t say that 8 e!@oyed
the e1perie!$e, i! fa$t, 8 "ould still go a lo!g "ay to a*oid it, but !o"L 8 ha*e this safe, "eird,
bathed i! afterglo", sated feeli!g% 8 put y head i! y ha!ds% 8 @ust do!t u!dersta!d%
Christia! re9e!ters the roo% 8 $a!t loo# hi i! the eye% 8 stare do"! at y ha!ds%
G8 fou!d soe baby oil% Let e rub it i!to your behi!d%H
#hat.
G+o% 8ll be fi!e%H
G&!astasia,H he "ar!s, a!d 8 "a!t to roll y eyes but Bui$#ly stop yself% 8 sta!d fa$i!g the
bed% Sitti!g beside e, he ge!tly pulls y s"eatpa!ts do"! agai!% 5p and down li(e whores*
drawers y sub$o!s$ious rear#s bitterly% 8! y head, 8 tell her "here to go%
Christia! sBuirts baby oil i!to his ha!d a!d the! rubs y behi!d "ith $areful te!der!ess
C fro a#eup reo*er to soothi!g bal for a spa!#ed ass, "ho "ould ha*e thought it "as
su$h a *ersatile liBuid%
G8 li#e y ha!ds o! you,H he ururs, a!d 8 ha*e to agree, e too%
GThere,H he says "he! hes fi!ished, a!d he pulls y pa!ts up agai!%
8 gla!$e o*er at y $lo$#% 8ts te!9thirty%
G8 lea*i!g !o"%H
G8ll see you out%H 8 still $a!t loo# at hi%
Ta#i!g y ha!d, he leads e to the fro!t door% Fortu!ately, Eate is still !ot hoe% She ust
still be ha*i!g di!!er "ith her fol#s a!d Etha!% 8 really glad shes !ot bee! arou!d to hear y
$hastisee!t%
G<o!t you ha*e to $all TaylorIH 8 as#, a*oidi!g eye $o!ta$t%
GTaylors bee! here si!$e !i!e% Loo# at e,H he breathes%
8 struggle to eet his eyes, but "he! 8 do, hes gaFi!g do"! at e "ith "o!der%
GJou did!t $ry,H he ururs, the! grabs e sudde!ly a!d #isses e fer*e!tly% GSu!day,H he
"hispers agai!st y lips, a!d its both a proise a!d a threat%
8 "at$h hi "al# do"! the path a!d $lib i!to the big bla$# &udi% 3e does!t loo# ba$#% 8
$lose the door a!d sta!d helpless i! the li*i!g roo of a! aparte!t that 8 shall o!ly spe!d a!other
t"o !ights i!% & pla$e 8 ha*e li*ed happily for alost four yearsL yet today, for the first tie e*er,
8 feel lo!ely a!d u!$ofortable here, u!happy "ith y o"! $opa!y% 3a*e 8 strayed so far fro
"ho 8 aI 8 #!o" that lur#i!g, !ot *ery far u!der y rather !ub e1terior, is a "ell of tears% What
a 8 doi!gI The iro!y is 8 $a!t e*e! sit do"! a!d e!@oy a good $ry% 8ll ha*e to sta!d% 8 #!o" its
late, but 8 de$ide to $all y o%
G3o!ey, ho" are youI 3o" "as graduatio!IH she e!thuses do"! the pho!e% 3er *oi$e is a
soothi!g bal%
GSorry its so late,H 8 "hisper%
She pauses%
G&!aI Whats "ro!gIH Shes all serious!ess !o"%
G+othi!g, =o, 8 @ust "a!ted to hear your *oi$e%H
Shes sile!t for a oe!t%
G&!a, "hat is itI .lease tell e%H 3er *oi$e is soft a!d $oforti!g, a!d 8 #!o" that she $ares%
5!i!*ited, y tears begi! to flo"% 8 ha*e $ried so ofte! i! the last fe" days%
G.lease, &!a,H she says, a!d her a!guish refle$ts i!e%
G/h, =o, its a a!%H
GWhats he do!e to youIH 3er alar is palpable%
G8ts !ot li#e that%H Although it is L /h $rap% 8 do!t "a!t to "orry her% 8 @ust "a!t soeo!e
else to be stro!g for e at the oe!t%
G&!a, please, youre "orryi!g e%H
8 ta#e a big breath%
G8*e #i!d of falle! for this guy, a!d hes so differe!t fro e, a!d 8 do!t #!o" if "e should
be together%H
G/h, darli!g% 8 "ish 8 $ould be "ith you% 8 a so sorry 8 issed your graduatio!%
Jou*e falle! for soeo!e, fi!ally% /h, ho!ey, e!, they are so tri$#y% Theyre a differe!t
spe$ies, ho!ey% 3o" lo!g ha*e you #!o"! hiIH
Christia! is defi!itely a differe!t spe$iesL different planet.
G/h, !early three "ee#s or so%H
G&!a, darli!g, thats !o tie at all% 3o" $a! you possibly #!o" soeo!e i! that #i!d of tie
fraeI Just ta#e it easy "ith hi a!d #eep hi at ars le!gth u!til you de$ide "hether hes "orthy
of you%H
Wo"L its u!!er*i!g "he! y other is so i!sightful, but shes @ust too late o! this%
8s he worthy of eI Thats a! i!teresti!g $o!$ept% 8 al"ays "o!der "hether 8 a "orthy of
hi%
G3o!ey, you sou!d so u!happy% Coe hoe C *isit "ith us% 8 iss you, darli!g% 0ob "ould
lo*e to see you too% Jou $a! get soe dista!$e a!d aybe soe perspe$ti*e% Jou !eed a brea#%
Jou*e bee! "or#i!g so hard%H
/h boy, is this tepti!g% Du! a"ay to >eorgia% >rab soe su!shi!e, soe $o$#tails%
=y others good huorL her lo*i!g ars%
G8 ha*e t"o @ob i!ter*ie"s i! Seattle o! =o!day%H
G/h, thats "o!derful !e"s%H
The door ope!s a!d Eate appears, gri!!i!g at e% 3er fa$e falls "he! she sees 8*e bee!
$ryi!g%
G=o, 8 ha*e to go% 8ll thi!# about a *isit% Tha!# you%H
G3o!ey, please, do!t let a a! get u!der your s#i!% Joure far too you!g% >o a!d e!@oy
yourself%H
GJes, =o, lo*e you%H
G/h, &!a, 8 lo*e you too, so u$h% Stay safe, ho!ey%H 8 ha!g up a!d fa$e Eate "ho glares at
e%
G3as that obs$e!ely ri$h fu$#er upset you agai!IH
G+oL sort ofL errL yes%H
GJust tell hi to ta#e a hi#e, &!a% Jou*e bee! so up a!d do"! si!$e you et hi%
8*e !e*er see! you li#e this%H
The "orld of Eatheri!e Ea*a!agh is *ery $lear, *ery bla$# a!d "hite% +ot the i!ta!gible,
ysterious, *ague hues of gray that $olor y "orld . #elcome to my world.
GSit, lets tal#% Lets ha*e soe "i!e% /h, you*e had $hapag!e%H She spies the bottle%
GSoe good stuff too%H
8 sile i!effe$tually, loo#i!g apprehe!si*ely at the $ou$h% 8 approa$h it "ith $autio!%
7mm0 sitting.
G&re you o#ayIH
G8 fell o*er a!d la!ded o! y behi!d%H
She does!t thi!# to Buestio! y e1pla!atio!, be$ause 8 a o!e of the ost u!9$oordi!ated
people i! Washi!gto! State% 8 !e*er thought 8d see that as a blessi!g% 8 sit do"! gi!gerly, pleasa!tly
surprised that 8 o#ay, a!d tur! y atte!tio! to Eate, but y i!d glaFes o*er a!d 8 pulled ba$#
to the 3eatha! C B#ell if you were mine you wouldn*t ,e a,le to sit down for a wee( after the
stunt you pulled yesterday.E 3e said it the!, a!d all
8 $ould $o!$e!trate o! at the tie "as bei!g his% &ll the "ar!i!g sig!s "ere there, 8 "as @ust
too $lueless a!d too e!aored to !oti$e%
Eate $oes ba$# i!to the li*i!g area "ith a bottle of red "i!e a!d "ashed tea$ups%
G3ere "e go%H She ha!ds e a $up of "i!e% 8t "o!t taste as good as the 0olly%
G&!a, if hes a @er# "ith $oite!t issues, dup hi% Though 8 do!t really u!dersta!d his
$oite!t issues% 3e $ould!t ta#e his eyes off you i! the arBuee, "at$hed you li#e a ha"#% 8d
say he "as $opletely sitte!, but aybe he has a fu!!y "ay of sho"i!g it%H
%mitten. Christian. 'unny way of showing it. 8ll say%
GEate, its $opli$ated% 3o" "as your e*e!i!gIH 8 as#%
8 $a!t tal# this through "ith Eate "ithout re*eali!g too u$h, but o!e Buestio! o! her day
a!d Eate is off% 8ts so reassuri!g to sit a!d liste! to her !oral $hatter% The hot !e"s is that Etha!
ay be $oi!g to li*e "ith us after their holiday% That "ill be fu! C Etha! is a hoot% 8 fro"!% 8 do!t
thi!# Christia! "ill appro*e% #ell0 tough. 3ell @ust ha*e to su$# it up% 8 ha*e a $ouple of tea$ups
of "i!e a!d de$ide to $all it a !ight% 8ts bee! o!e *ery lo!g day% Eate hugs e, a!d the! grabs the
pho!e to $all Elliot%
8 $he$# the ea! a$hi!e after 8 brush y teeth% Theres a! eail fro Christia!%
)rom: Christia! >rey
S1b2ect: Jou
"ate: =ay 2( 2011 22:1S
$o: &!astasia Steele
<ear =iss Steele
Jou are Buite siply e1Buisite% The ost beautiful, i!tellige!t, "itty a!d bra*e "oa! 8 ha*e
e*er et% Ta#e soe &d*il C this is !ot a reBuest% &!d do!t dri*e your 0eetle agai!% 8 "ill #!o"%
Christia! >rey
CE/, >rey E!terprises 3oldi!gs 8!$%
/h, !ot dri*e y $ar agai!K 8 type out y reply%
)rom: &!astasia Steele
S1b2ect: Flattery
"ate: =ay 2( 2011 22:20
$o: Christia! >rey
<ear =r% >rey
Flattery "ill get you !o"here, but si!$e you*e bee! e*ery"here the poi!t is oot%
8 "ill !eed to dri*e y 0eetle to a garage so 8 $a! sell it C so "ill !ot gra$iously a$$ept a!y of
your !o!se!se o*er that% Ded "i!e is al"ays ore preferable to &d*il%
&!a
.S: Ca!i!g is a 3&D< liit for e%
8 hit se!d%
)rom: Christia! >rey
S1b2ect: Frustrati!g "oe! "ho $a!t ta#e $oplie!ts "ate: =ay 2( 2011 22:2(
$o: &!astasia Steele
<ear =s% Steele
8 a !ot flatteri!g you% Jou should go to bed%
8 a$$ept your additio! to the hard liits%
<o!t dri!# too u$h%
Taylor "ill dispose of your $ar a!d get a good pri$e for it too%
Christia! >rey
CE/, >rey E!terprises 3oldi!gs 8!$%
)rom: &!astasia Steele
S1b2ect: Taylor C 8s he the right a! for the @obI
"ate: =ay 2( 2011 22:S0
$o: Christia! >rey
<ear Sir
8 a i!trigued that you are happy to ris# letti!g your right ha!d a! dri*e y $ar C but !ot
soe "oa! you fu$# o$$asio!ally% 3o" $a! 8 be sure that Taylor is the a! to get e the best
deal for said $arI 8 ha*e, i! the past, probably before 8 et you, bee! #!o"! to dri*e a hard bargai!%
&!a
)rom: Christia! >rey
S1b2ect: CarefulK
"ate: =ay 2( 2011 22:SS
$o: &!astasia Steele
<ear =s% Steele
8 a assui!g it is the DE< W8+E tal#i!g, a!d that you*e had a *ery lo!g day%
Though 8 a tepted to dri*e ba$# o*er there to e!sure that you do!t sit do"! for a "ee#,
rather tha! a! e*e!i!g%
Taylor is e19ary a!d $apable of dri*i!g a!ythi!g fro a otor$y$le to a Shera! Ta!#%
Jour $ar does !ot prese!t a haFard to hi%
+o" please do !ot refer to yourself as Msoe "oa! 8 fu$# o$$asio!ally be$ause, Buite
fra!#ly it a#es e =&<, a!d you really "ould!t li#e e "he! 8 a!gry%
Christia! >rey
CE/, >rey E!terprises 3oldi!gs 8!$%
)rom: &!astasia Steele
S1b2ect: Careful yourself
"ate: =ay 2( 2011 22:47
$o: Christia! >rey
<ear =r% >rey
8 !ot sure 8 li#e you a!y"ay, espe$ially at the oe!t%
=s% Steele
)rom: Christia! >rey
S1b2ect: Careful yourself
"ate: =ay 27 2011 00:02
$o: &!astasia Steele
Why do!t you li#e eI
Christia! >rey
CE/, >rey E!terprises 3oldi!gs 8!$%
)rom: &!astasia Steele
S1b2ect: Careful yourself
"ate: =ay 27 2011 00:0'
$o: Christia! >rey
0e$ause you !e*er stay "ith e%
There, thats gi*e! hi soethi!g to thi!# about% 8 shut the a$hi!e do"! "ith a flourish 8
do!t really feel a!d $ra"l i!to y bed% 8 s"it$h off y sidelight a!d stare up at the $eili!g% 8ts
bee! o!e lo!g day, o!e eotio!al "re!$h after a!other% 8t "as heart"ari!g to spe!d soe tie
"ith Day% 3e loo#ed "ell, a!d "eirdly he appro*ed of Christia!% JeeF, Eate a!d her garga!tua!
outh% 3eari!g Christia! spea# about bei!g hu!gry% What the hell is that all aboutI >od, a!d the
$ar% 8 ha*e!t e*e! told Eate about the !e" $ar% What "as Christia! thi!#i!gI
&!d the! this e*e!i!g, he a$tually hit e% 8*e !e*er bee! hit i! y life% What ha*e 8 gotte!
yself i!toI Aery slo"ly, y tears, halted by Eates arri*al, begi! to slide do"! the side of y fa$e
a!d i!to y ears% 8 ha*e falle! for soeo!e "hos so eotio!ally shut do"!, 8 "ill o!ly get hurt C
deep do"! 8 #!o" this C soeo!e "ho by his o"! adissio! is $opletely fu$#ed up% #hy is he
so fu$#ed upI 8t ust be a"ful to be as affe$ted as he is, a!d the thought that as a toddler he
suffered soe u!bearable $ruelty a#es e $ry harder% /erhaps if he was more normal he wouldn*t
want you y sub$o!s$ious $o!tributes s!idely to y usi!gsL a!d i! y heart of hearts 8 #!o"
this is true% 8 tur! i!to y pillo" a!d the slui$e gates ope!L a!d for the first tie i! years, 8 a
sobbi!g u!$o!trollably i!to y pillo"%
8 a oe!tarily distra$ted fro y dar# !ight of the soul by Eate shouti!g%
B#hat the fuc( do you thin( you*re doing here.E
B#ell you can*t&E
B#hat the fuc( ha6e you done to her now.E
B%ince she*s met you she cries all the time.E
B)ou can*t come in here&E
Christia! bursts i!to y bedroo a!d u!$ereo!iously s"it$hes o! the o*erhead light,
a#i!g e sBui!t%
GJesus, &!a,H he utters% 3e fli$#s the s"it$h off agai! a!d is at y side i! a oe!t%
GWhat are you doi!g hereIH 8 gasp bet"ee! sobs% Crap% 8 $a!t stop $ryi!g%
3e s"it$hes o! the sidelight a#i!g e sBui!t agai!% Eate $oes a!d sta!ds i! the door"ay%
G<o you "a!t e to thro" this asshole outIH she as#s, radiati!g thero9!u$lear hostility%
Christia! raises his eyebro"s at her, !o doubt surprised by her flatteri!g epithet a!d her feral
a!tago!is% 8 sha#e y head, a!d she rolls her eyes at e% Oh0 I wouldn*t do that near Mr. $.
GJust holler if you !eed e,H she says ore ge!tly% G>rey C your $ards are ar#ed,H
she hisses at hi% 3e !ods at her, a!d she tur!s a!d pulls the door to but does!t $lose it%
Christia! gaFes do"! at e, his e1pressio! gra*e, his fa$e ashe!% 3es "eari!g his pi!striped
@a$#et, a!d fro his i!side po$#et, he pulls out a ha!d#er$hief a!d ha!ds it to e% 8 thi!# 8 still ha*e
his other o!e soe"here%
GWhats goi!g o!IH he as#s Buietly%
GWhy are you hereIH 8 as#, ig!ori!g his Buestio!% =y tears ha*e ira$ulously $eased, but 8
left "ith dry hea*es ra$#i!g y body%
G.art of y role is to loo# after your !eeds% Jou said you "a!ted e to stay, so here 8 a%
&!d yet 8 fi!d you li#e this%H 3e bli!#s at e, truly be"ildered% G8 sure 8 respo!sible, but 8
ha*e !o idea "hy% 8s it be$ause 8 hit youIH
8 pull yself up, "i!$i!g fro y sore behi!d% 8 sit a!d fa$e hi%
G<id you ta#e soe &d*ilIH
8 sha#e y head% 3e !arro"s his eyes, sta!ds, a!d lea*es the roo% 8 hear hi tal#i!g to Eate
but !ot "hat they are sayi!g% 3es ba$# a fe" oe!ts later "ith pills a!d a tea$up of "ater%
GTa#e these,H he orders ge!tly as he sits o! y bed beside e%
8 do as 8 told%
GTal# to e,H he "hispers% GJou told e you "ere o#ay% 8d !e*er ha*e left you if 8 thought
you "ere li#e this%H
8 stare do"! at y ha!ds% What $a! 8 say that 8 ha*e!t said alreadyI 8 "a!t ore% 8 "a!t hi
to stay be$ause he "a!ts to stay "ith e, !ot be$ause 8 a blubberi!g ess, a!d 8 do!t "a!t hi
to beat e, is that so u!reaso!ableI
G8 ta#e it that "he! you said you "ere o#ay, you "ere!t%H
8 flush%
G8 thought 8 "as fi!e%H
G&!astasia, you $a!t tell e "hat you thi!# 8 "a!t to hear% Thats !ot *ery ho!est,H
he ado!ishes e% G3o" $a! 8 trust a!ythi!g you*e said to eIH
8 pee# up at hi, a!d hes fro"!i!g, a blea# loo# i! his eye% 3e ru!s both ha!ds through his
hair%
G3o" did you feel "hile 8 "as hitti!g you a!d afterIH
G8 did!t li#e it% 8d rather you did!t do it agai!%H
GJou "ere!t ea!t to li#e it%H
GWhy do you li#e itIH 8 stare up at hi%
=y Buestio! surprises hi%
GJou really "a!t to #!o"IH
G/h, trust e, 8 fas$i!ated%H &!d 8 $a!t Buite #eep the sar$as out of y *oi$e%
3e !arro"s his eyes agai!%
GCareful,H he "ar!s%
8 bla!$h%
G&re you goi!g to hit e agai!IH 8 $halle!ge%
G+o, !ot to!ight%H
.he"%%% y sub$o!s$ious a!d 8 both breathe a sile!t sigh of relief%
GSo,H 8 propt%
G8 li#e the $o!trol it bri!gs e, &!astasia% 8 "a!t you to beha*e i! a parti$ular "ay, a!d if you
do!t, 8 shall pu!ish you, a!d you "ill lear! to beha*e the "ay 8 desire% 8 e!@oy pu!ishi!g you% 8*e
"a!ted to spa!# you si!$e you as#ed e if 8 "as gay%H
8 flush at the eory . =ee: I wanted to span( myself after that 3uestion. So Eatheri!e
Ea*a!agh is respo!sible for all this, a!d if shed go!e to that i!ter*ie" a!d as#ed her gay Buestio!,
shed be sitti!g here "ith the sore ass% 8 do!t li#e that thought% 3o" $o!fusi!g is thisI
GSo you do!t li#e the "ay 8 a%H
3e stares at e, be"ildered agai!%
G8 thi!# youre lo*ely the "ay you are%H
GSo "hy are you tryi!g to $ha!ge eIH
G8 do!t "a!t to $ha!ge you% 8d li#e you to be $ourteous a!d to follo" the set of rules 8*e
gi*e! you a!d !ot defy e% Siple,H he says%
G0ut you "a!t to pu!ish eIH
GJes 8 do%H
GThats "hat 8 do!t u!dersta!d%H
3e sighs a!d ru!s his ha!ds through his hair agai!%
G8ts the "ay 8 ade, &!astasia% 8 !eed to $o!trol you% 8 !eed you to beha*e i! a $ertai!
"ay, a!d if you do!t C 8 lo*e to "at$h your beautiful alabaster s#i! pi!# a!d "ar up u!der y
ha!ds% 8t tur!s e o!%H
3oly shit% +o" "ere getti!g soe"here%
GSo its !ot the pai! youre putti!g e throughIH
3e s"allo"s%
G& bit, to see if you $a! ta#e it, but thats !ot the "hole reaso!% 8ts the fa$t that you are i!e
to do "ith as 8 see fit C ultiate $o!trol o*er soeo!e else% &!d it tur!s e o!%
0ig tie, &!astasia% Loo#, 8 !ot e1plai!i!g yself *ery "ellL 8*e !e*er had to before%
8*e !ot really thought about this i! a!y great depth% 8*e al"ays bee! "ith li#e9i!ded
people,H he shrugs apologeti$ally% G&!d you still ha*e!t a!s"ered y Buestio! C ho" did you feel
after"ardsIH
GCo!fused%H
GJou "ere se1ually aroused by it, &!astasia,H he $loses his eyes briefly, a!d "he! he re9ope!s
the a!d gaFes at e, they are solderi!g so#y ebers%
3is e1pressio! pulls at that dar# part of e, buried i! the depths of y belly C y libido,
"o#e! a!d taed by hi, but e*e! !o", i!satiable%
G<o!t loo# at e li#e that,H he ururs%
8 fro"!% =ee: what ha6e I done now.
G8 do!t ha*e a!y $o!dos, &!astasia, a!d you #!o", youre upset% Co!trary to "hat your
rooate belie*es, 8 !ot a priapi$ o!ster% So, you felt $o!fusedIH
8 sBuir u!der his i!te!se gaFe%
GJou ha*e !o proble bei!g ho!est "ith e i! pri!t% Jour eails al"ays tell e e1a$tly ho"
you feel% Why $a!t you do that i! $o!*ersatio!I <o 8 i!tiidate you that u$hIH
8 pi$# at a! iagi!ary spot o! y others blue a!d $rea Built%
GJou beguile e, Christia!% Copletely o*er"hel e% 8 feel li#e 8$arus flyi!g too $lose to
the Su!,H 8 "hisper%
3e gasps%
GWell, 8 thi!# you*e got that the "ro!g "ay arou!d,H he "hispers%
GWhatIH
G/h, &!astasia, you*e be"it$hed e% 8s!t it ob*iousIH
+o, !ot to e% 9ewitched0 y i!!er goddess is stari!g ope!9outhed% E*e! she does!t
belie*e this%
GJou*e still !ot a!s"ered y Buestio!% Write e a! eail, please% 0ut right !o", 8d really
li#e to sleep% Ca! 8 stayIH
G<o you "a!t to stayIH 8 $a!t hide the hope i! y *oi$e%
GJou "a!ted e here%H
GJou ha*e!t a!s"ered y Buestio!%H
G8ll "rite you a! eail,H he utters petula!tly%
Sta!di!g, he epties his @ea!s po$#ets of 0la$#0erry, #eys, "allet, a!d o!ey% 3oly $o",
e! $arry a lot of $rap i! their po$#ets% 3e strips off his "at$h, his shoes, so$#s, a!d @ea!s a!d
pla$es his @a$#et o*er y $hair% 3e "al#s rou!d to the other side of the bed a!d slides i!%
GLie do"!,H he orders%
8 slip slo"ly u!der the $o*ers, "i!$i!g slightly, stari!g at hi% JeeFL hes stayi!g% 8 thi!# 8
!ub "ith elated sho$#% 3e lea!s up o! o!e elbo" stari!g do"! at e%
G8f you are goi!g to $ry% Cry i! fro!t of e% 8 !eed to #!o"%H
G<o you "a!t e to $ryIH
G+ot parti$ularly% 8 @ust "a!t to #!o" ho" youre feeli!g% 8 do!t "a!t you slippi!g through
y fi!gers% S"it$h the light off% 8ts late, a!d "e both ha*e to "or# toorro"%H
%o here0 and still so ,ossy , but 8 $a!t $oplai!, hes i! y bed% 8 do!t Buite u!dersta!d
"hyL aybe 8 should "eep ore ofte! i! fro!t of hi% 8 s"it$h off the bedside light%GLie o! your
side, fa$i!g a"ay fro e,H he ururs i! the dar#!ess%
8 roll y eyes i! the full #!o"ledge that he $a!!ot see e, but 8 do as 8 told% >i!gerly, he
o*es o*er a!d puts his ars arou!d e a!d pulls e to his $hest 0 oh my.
GSleep, baby,H he "hispers, a!d 8 feel his !ose i! y hair as he i!hales deeply%
3oly $o"% Christia! >rey is sleepi!g "ith e, a!d i! the $ofort a!d sola$e of his ars, 8
drift i!to a pea$eful sleep%
The $a!dle flae is too hot% 8t fli$#ers a!d da!$es i! the o*er9"ar breeFe, a breeFe that
bri!gs !o respite fro the heat% Soft gossaer "i!gs flutter to a!d fro i! the dar#, spri!#li!g dusty
s$ales i! the $ir$le of light% 8 struggli!g to resist, but 8 dra"!% &!d the! its so bright, a!d 8 a
flyi!g too $lose to the su!, daFFled by the light, fried a!d elti!g fro the heat, "eary i! y
e!dea*ors to stay airbor!e% 8 a so "ar% The heatL its stifli!g, o*erpo"eri!g% 8t "a#es e%
8 ope! y eyes, a!d 8 draped i! Christia! >rey% 3es "rapped arou!d e li#e a *i$tory
flag% 3es fast asleep "ith his head o! y $hest, his ar o*er e, holdi!g e $lose, o!e of his legs
thro"! o*er a!d hoo#ed arou!d both of i!e% 3es suffo$ati!g e "ith his body heat, a!d hes
hea*y% 8 ta#e a oe!t to absorb that hes still i! y bed a!d fast asleep, a!d its light outside C
or!i!g% 3e has spe!t the "hole !ight "ith e%
=y right ar is stret$hed, !o doubt i! sear$h of a $ool spot, a!d as 8 pro$ess the fa$t that hes
still "ith e, the thought o$$urs that 8 $a! tou$h hi% 3es asleep% Te!tati*ely, 8 lift y ha!d a!d
ru! the tips of y fi!gers do"! his ba$#% <eep i! his throat, 8 hear a fai!t distressed groa!, a!d he
stirs% 3e !uFFles y $hest, i!hali!g deeply as he "a#es% Sleepy, bli!#i!g gray eyes eet i!e
be!eath his tousled op of hair%
G>ood or!i!g,H he ubles a!d fro"!s% GJesus, e*e! i! y sleep 8 dra"! to you%H 3e
o*es slo"ly, u!peeli!g his libs fro e as he gets his beari!gs% 8 be$oe
a"are of his ere$tio! agai!st y hip% 3e !oti$es y "ide9eyed rea$tio!, a!d he siles a slo"
se1y sile%
G3L this has possibilities, but 8 thi!# "e should "ait u!til Su!day%H 3e lea!s do"! a!d
!uFFles y ear "ith his !ose%
8 flush, but the! 8 feel se*e! shades of s$arlet fro his heat%
GJoure *ery hot,H 8 urur%
GJoure !ot so bad yourself,H he ururs a!d presses hiself agai!st e, suggesti*ely%
8 flush soe ore% 1hat*s not what I meant. 3e props hiself up o! his elbo" gaFi!g do"!
at e, aused% 3e be!ds, a!d to y surprise, pla!ts a ge!tle #iss o! y lips%
GSleep "ellIH he as#s%
8 !od, stari!g up at hi, a!d 8 realiFe that 8*e slept *ery "ell e1$ept aybe for the last half9
hour "he! 8 "as too hot%
GSo did 8%H 3e fro"!s% GJes, really "ell%H 3e raises his eyebro"s i! $o!fused surprise%
GWhats the tieIH
8 gla!$e at y alar%
G8ts 7:20%H
G7:20L shit%H 3e s$rables out of bed a!d drags o! his @ea!s%
8t is y tur! to loo# aused as 8 sit up% Christia! >rey is late a!d flustered% This is soethi!g
8 ha*e !e*er see! before% 8 belatedly realiFe that y behi!d is !o lo!ger sore%
GJou are su$h a bad i!flue!$e o! e% 8 ha*e a eeti!g% 8 ha*e to go C 8 ha*e to be i! .ortla!d
at eight% &re you sir#i!g at eIH
GJes%H
3e gri!s%
G8 late% 8 do!t do late% &!other first, =iss Steele%H 3e pulls o! his @a$#et a!d the! be!ds
do"! a!d grasps y head, his ha!ds o! either side%
GSu!day,H he says, a!d the "ord is preg!a!t "ith a! u!spo#e! proise% E*erythi!g deep i!
y body u!$urls a!d the! $le!$hes i! deli$ious a!ti$ipatio!, the feeli!g is e1Buisite% 3oly hell, if
y i!d $ould @ust #eep up "ith y body% 3e lea!s for"ard a!d #isses e Bui$#ly% 3e grabs his
stuff fro y side table a!d his shoes C "hi$h he does!t put o!%
GTaylor "ill $oe a!d sort your 0eetle% 8 "as serious% <o!t dri*e it% 8ll see you at y pla$e
o! Su!day% 8ll eail you a tie%H &!d li#e a "hirl"i!d, hes go!e .
Oh my Christia! >rey spe!t the !ight "ith e, a!d 8 feel rested% &!d there "as !o se1, o!ly
$uddli!g% 3e told e he !e*er slept "ith a!yo!e C but hes slept three ties "ith e%
8 gri! a!d slo"ly $lib out of y bed% 8 feel ore optiisti$ tha! 8 ha*e for the last day or so%
8 head for the #it$he!, !eedi!g a $up of tea%
&fter brea#fast, 8 sho"er a!d dress Bui$#ly for y last day at Clayto!s% 8t is the e!d of a! era
C goodbye to =r% N =rs% Clayto!, WS5, Aa!$ou*er, the aparte!t, y 0eetle% 8 gla!$e at the ea!
a$hi!e C its o!ly 7:42% 8 ha*e tie%
)rom: &!astasia Steele
S1b2ect: &ssault a!d 0attery: The after9effe$ts
"ate: =ay 27 2011 0):04
$o: Christia! >rey
<ear =r% >rey
Jou "a!ted to #!o" "hy 8 felt $o!fused after you C "hi$h eupheis should "e apply 9
spa!#ed, pu!ished, beat, assaulted e% Well duri!g the "hole alari!g pro$ess 8 felt deea!ed,
debased a!d abused% &!d u$h to y ortifi$atio!, youre right, 8 "as aroused, a!d that "as
u!e1pe$ted% &s you are "ell a"are, all thi!gs se1ual are !e" to e C 8 o!ly "ish 8 "as ore
e1perie!$ed a!d therefore ore prepared% 8 "as sho$#ed to feel aroused%
What really "orried e "as ho" 8 felt after"ards% &!d thats ore diffi$ult to arti$ulate%
8 "as happy that you "ere happy% 8 felt relie*ed that it "as!t as pai!ful as 8 thought it "ould
be% &!d "he! 8 "as lyi!g i! your ars, 8 felt C sated% 0ut 8 feel *ery u!$ofortable, guilty e*e!,
feeli!g that "ay% 8t does!t sit "ell "ith e, a!d 8 $o!fused as a result% <oes that a!s"er your
Buestio!I
8 hope the "orld of =ergers a!d &$Buisitio!s is as stiulati!g as e*erL a!d that you "ere!t
too late%
Tha!# you for stayi!g "ith e%
&!a
)rom: Christia! >rey
S1b2ect: Free Jour =i!d
"ate: =ay 27 2011 0):2S
$o: &!astasia Steele
8!teresti!gL if slightly o*erstated title headi!g =iss Steele%
To a!s"er your poi!ts:
U 8ll go "ith spa!#i!g C as thats "hat it "as%
U So you felt deea!ed, debased, abused N assaulted C ho" *ery Tess <urbeyfield of you% 8
belie*e it "as you "ho de$ided o! the debasee!t if 8 reeber $orre$tly% <o you really feel li#e
this or do you thi!# you ought to feel li#e thisI
T"o *ery differe!t thi!gs% 8f that is ho" you feel, do you thi!# you $ould @ust try a!d ebra$e
these feeli!gs, deal "ith the, for eI Thats "hat a subissi*e "ould do%
U 8 a grateful for your i!e1perie!$e% 8 *alue it, a!d 8 o!ly begi!!i!g to u!dersta!d "hat it
ea!s% Siply putL it ea!s that you are i!e i! e*ery "ay%
U Jes, you "ere aroused, "hi$h i! tur! "as *ery arousi!g, theres !othi!g "ro!g "ith that%
U 3appy does !ot e*e! begi! to $o*er ho" 8 felt% E$stati$ @oy $oes $lose%
U .u!ishe!t spa!#i!g hurts far ore tha! se!sual spa!#i!g C so thats about as hard as it
gets, u!less of $ourse you $oit soe a@or tra!sgressio!, i! "hi$h $ase 8ll use soe iplee!t
to pu!ish you "ith% =y ha!d "as *ery sore% 0ut 8 li#e that%
U 8 felt sated too 9 ore so tha! you $ould e*er #!o"%
U <o!t "aste your e!ergy o! guilt, feeli!gs of "ro!gdoi!g et$% We are $o!se!t9i!g adults a!d
"hat "e do behi!d $losed doors is bet"ee! oursel*es% Jou !eed to free your i!d a!d liste! to your
body%
U The "orld of =N& is !ot !early as stiulati!g as you are =iss Steele%
Christia! >rey
CE/, >rey E!terprises 3oldi!gs 8!$%
3oly $rapL mine in e6ery way. =y breath hit$hes%
)rom: &!astasia Steele
S1b2ect: Co!se!ti!g &dultsK
"ate: =ay 27 2011 0):2(
$o: Christia! >rey
&re!t you i! a eeti!gI
8 *ery glad your ha!d "as sore%
&!d if 8 liste!ed to y body, 8d be i! &las#a by !o"%
&!a
.S: 8 "ill thi!# about ebra$i!g these feeli!gs%
)rom: Christia! >rey
S1b2ect: Jou <id!t Call the Cops
"ate: =ay 27 2011 0):24
$o: &!astasia Steele
=iss Steele
8 a i! a eeti!g dis$ussi!g the futures ar#et if youre really i!terested%
For the re$ord 9 you stood beside e #!o"i!g "hat 8 "as goi!g to do%
Jou did!t at a!y tie as# e to stop C you did!t use either safe "ord%
Jou are a! adult C you ha*e $hoi$es%
Quite fra!#ly, 8 loo#i!g for"ard to the !e1t tie y pal is ri!gi!g "ith pai!%
Joure ob*iously !ot liste!i!g to the right part of your body%
&las#a is *ery $old a!d !o pla$e to ru!% 8 "ould fi!d you%
8 $a! tra$# your $ell pho!e C reeberI
>o to "or#%
Christia! >rey
CE/, >rey E!terprises 3oldi!gs 8!$%
8 s$o"l at the s$ree!% 3es right of $ourse% 8ts y $hoi$e% 7mm. 8s he serious about $oi!g
to fi!d e, should 8 de$ide to es$ape for a "hileI =y i!d flits briefly to y others offer% 8 hit
reply%
)rom: &!astasia Steele
S1b2ect: Stal#er
"ate: =ay 27 2011 0):2(
$o: Christia! >rey
3a*e you sought therapy for your stal#er te!de!$iesI
&!a
)rom: Christia! >rey
S1b2ect: Stal#erI =eI
"ate: =ay 27 2011 0):2)
$o: &!astasia Steele
8 pay the ei!e!t <r% Fly!! a sall fortu!e "ith regard to y stal#er a!d other te!de!$ies%
>o to "or#%
Christia! >rey
CE/, >rey E!terprises 3oldi!gs 8!$%
)rom: &!astasia Steele
S1b2ect: E1pe!si*e Charlata!s
"ate: =ay 27 2011 0):S0
$o: Christia! >rey
=ay 8 hubly suggest you see# a se$o!d opi!io!I
8 a !ot sure that <r% Fly!! is *ery effe$ti*e%
=iss Steele
)rom: Christia! >rey
S1b2ect: Se$o!d /pi!io!s
"ate: =ay 27 2011 0):S2
$o: &!astasia Steele
+ot that its a!y of your busi!ess, huble or other"ise, but <r% Fly!! is the se$o!d opi!io!%
Jou "ill ha*e to speed, i! your !e" $ar, putti!g yourself at u!!e$essary ris# C 8 thi!# thats
agai!st the rules%
>/ T/ W/DE%
Christia! >rey
CE/, >rey E!terprises 3oldi!gs 8!$%
)rom: &!astasia Steele
S1b2ect: S3/5TJ C&.8T&LS
"ate: =ay 27 2011 0):S7
$o: Christia! >rey
&s the ob@e$t of your stal#er te!de!$ies C 8 thi!# it is y busi!ess a$tually%
8 ha*e!t sig!ed yet% So rules s$hules% &!d 8 do!t start u!til ':20%
=iss Steele
)rom: Christia! >rey
S1b2ect: <es$ripti*e Li!guisti$s
"ate: =ay 27 2011 0):S'
$o: &!astasia Steele
S$hulesI +ot sure "here that appears i! Websters <i$tio!ary Christia! >rey
CE/, >rey E!terprises 3oldi!gs 8!$%
)rom: &!astasia Steele
S1b2ect: <es$ripti*e Li!guisti$s
"ate: =ay 27 2011 0):42
$o: Christia! >rey
8ts bet"ee! $o!trol frea# a!d stal#er%
&!d des$ripti*e li!guisti$s is a hard liit for e%
Will you stop botheri!g e !o"I
8d li#e to go to "or# i! y !e" $ar%
&!a
)rom: Christia! >rey
S1b2ect: Challe!gi!g but ausi!g Jou!g Woe!
"ate: =ay 27 2011 0):4(
$o: &!astasia Steele
=y pal is t"it$hi!g%
<ri*e safely =iss Steele%
Christia! >rey
CE/, >rey E!terprises 3oldi!gs 8!$%
The &udi is a @oy to dri*e% 8t has po"er steeri!g% Wa!da, y 0eetle, has !o po"er i! it at all C
a!y"here, so y daily "or#out, "hi$h "as dri*i!g y 0eetle, "ill $ease% /h, but 8 "ill ha*e a
perso!al trai!er to $o!te!d "ith, a$$ordi!g to Christia!s rules% 8 fro"!% 8 hate e1er$isi!g%
While 8 a dri*i!g, 8 try a!d a!alyFe our eail e1$ha!ge% 3es a patro!iFi!g so!9of9a9bit$h
soeties% &!d the! 8 thi!# of >ra$e a!d 8 feel guilty% 0ut of $ourse, she "as!t his birth other%
7mm thats a "hole "orld of u!#!o"! pai!% Well, patro!iFi!g so!9of9a9bit$h "or#s "ell the!% Jes%
8 a! adult, tha!# you for rei!di!g e, Christia! >rey, a!d it is y $hoi$e% The proble is, 8 @ust
"a!t Christia!, !ot all hisL baggage C a!d right !o" he has a 7S7 holds "orth of baggage% Could 8
@ust lie ba$# a!d ebra$e itI Li#e a subissi*eI 8*e said 8d try% 8ts a! a"fully big as#%
8 pull i!to the par#i!g lot at Clayto!s% &s 8 a#e y "ay i!, 8 $a! hardly belie*e its y last
day% Fortu!ately, the store is busy a!d tie passes Bui$#ly% &t lu!$htie, =r%
Clayto! suo!s e fro the sto$#roo% 3es sta!di!g beside a otor$y$le $ourier%
G=iss SteeleIH the $ourier as#s% 8 fro"! Buestio!i!gly at =r% Clayto!, "ho shrugs, as puFFled
as e% =y heart si!#s% What has Christia! se!t e !o"I 8 sig! for the sall pa$#age a!d ope! it
straight a"ay% 8ts a 0la$#0erry% =y heart si!#s further% 8 s"it$h it o!%
)rom: Christia! >rey
S1b2ect: 0la$#0erry /+ L/&+
"ate: =ay 27 2011 11:14
$o: &!astasia Steele
8 !eed to be able to $o!ta$t you at all ties, a!d si!$e this is your ost ho!est for of
$ou!i$atio!, 8 figured you !eeded a 0la$#0erry%
Christia! >rey
CE/, >rey E!terprises 3oldi!gs 8!$%
)rom: &!astasia Steele
S1b2ect: Co!sueris >o!e =ad
"ate: =ay 27 2011 12:22
$o: Christia! >rey
8 thi!# you !eed to $all <r% Fly!! right !o"%
Jour stal#er te!de!$ies are ru!!i!g "ild%
8 a at "or#% 8 "ill eail you "he! 8 get hoe%
Tha!# you for yet a!other gadget%
8 "as!t "ro!g "he! 8 said you "ere the ultiate $o!suer%
Why do you do thisI
&!a
)rom: Christia! >rey
S1b2ect: Saga$ity fro o!e so you!g
"ate: =ay 27 2011 12:2S
$o: &!astasia Steele
Fair poi!t9"ell ade, as e*er =iss Steele%
<r% Fly!! is o! *a$atio!%
&!d 8 do this be$ause 8 $a!%
Christia! >rey
CE/, >rey E!terprises 3oldi!gs 8!$%
8 put the thi!g i! y ba$# po$#et, hati!g it already% Eaili!g Christia! is addi$ti*e, but 8 a
supposed to be "or#i!g% 8t buFFes o!$e agai!st y behi!dL ho" apt, 8 thi!# iro!i$ally, but
suo!i!g all y "illpo"er, 8 ig!ore it%
&t four, =r% a!d =rs% Clayto! gather all the other eployees i! the shop, a!d duri!g a hair9
$urli!gly ebarrassi!g spee$h, prese!t e "ith a $he$# for three hu!dred dollars%
8! that oe!t, three "ee#s of C e1as, graduatio!, i!te!se, fu$#ed9up billio!aires, de9
flo"eri!g, hard N soft liits, playroos "ith !o $o!soles, heli$opter rides C a!d the fa$t that
8 "ill o*e toorro", all "ell up i!side e% &aFi!gly, 8 hold yself together% =y sub$o!s$ious is
i! a"e% 8 hug the Clayto!s hard% They ha*e bee! #i!d a!d ge!erous e9ployers, a!d 8 "ill iss
the%
Eate is $libi!g out of her $ar "he! 8 arri*e hoe%
GWhats thatIH she says a$$usi!gly, poi!ti!g at the &udi% 8 $a!t resist%
G8ts a $ar,H 8 Buip% She !arro"s her eyes, a!d for a brief oe!t, 8 "o!der if shes goi!g to
put e a$ross her #!ee too% G=y graduatio! prese!t%H 8 try a!d a$t !o!$hala!t% )es I get e<pensi6e
cars gi6en to me e6eryday. 3er outh drops ope!%
G>e!erous, o*er9the9top bastard, is!t heIH
8 !od%
G8 did try !ot to a$$ept it, but fra!#ly, its @ust !ot "orth the fight%H
Eate purses her lips%
G+o "o!der youre so o*er"heled% 8 did !ote that he stayed%H
GJeah%H 8 sile "istfully%
GShall "e fi!ish pa$#i!gIH
8 !od a!d follo" her i!side% 8 $he$# the eail fro Christia!%
)rom: Christia! >rey
S1b2ect: Su!day
"ate: =ay 27 2011 12:S0
$o: &!astasia Steele
Shall 8 see you at 1 p%% Su!dayI
The do$tor "ill be at Es$ala to see you at 1:20%
8 lea*i!g for Seattle !o"%
8 hope your o*e goes "ell, a!d 8 loo# for"ard to Su!day%
Christia! >rey
CE/, >rey E!terprises 3oldi!gs 8!$%
JeeF, he $ould be dis$ussi!g the "eather% 8 de$ide to eail hi o!$e "e*e fi!ished pa$#i!g,
he $a! be su$h fu! o!e i!ute, a!d the! he $a! be so foral a!d stuffy% 8ts diffi$ult to #eep up%
3o!estly, its li#e a! eail to a! eployee% 8 roll y eyes at it defia!tly a!d @oi! Eate to pa$#%
Eate a!d 8 are i! the #it$he! "he! theres a #!o$# at the door% Taylor sta!ds o! the por$h,
loo#i!g ia$ulate i! his suit% 8 !oti$e the tra$e of e19ary i! his buFF $ut, tri physiBue, a!d his
$ool stare%
G=iss Steele,H he says% G8*e $oe for your $ar%H
G/h yes, of $ourse% Coe i!, 8ll fet$h the #eys%H
Surely this is abo*e a!d beyo!d the $all of duty% 8 "o!der agai! at Taylors @ob des$riptio!% 8
ha!d hi the #eys, a!d "e "al# i! a! u!$ofortable sile!$e for e 9 to"ard the light blue 0eetle% 8
ope! the door a!d reo*e the flashlight fro the glo*e bo1% Thats it%
8 ha*e !othi!g else thats perso!al i! the Wa!da% $ood,y #anda. 1han( you. 8 $aress her
roof as 8 $lose the passe!ger door%
G3o" lo!g ha*e you "or#ed for =r% >reyIH 8 as#%
GFour years, =iss Steele%H
Sudde!ly, 8 ha*e a! o*er"heli!g urge to bobard hi "ith Buestio!s% What this a! ust
#!o" about Christia!, all his se$rets% 0ut the! hes probably sig!ed a! +<&%
8 loo# !er*ously at hi% 3e has the sae ta$itur! e1pressio! as Day, a!d 8 "ar to hi%
G3es a good a!, =iss Steele,H he says, a!d he siles slightly% With that, he gi*es e a little
!od, $libs i!to y $ar, a!d dri*es a"ay%
&parte!t, 0eetle, Clayto!s C its all $ha!ge !o"% 8 sha#e y head as 8 "a!der ba$# i!side%
&!d the biggest $ha!ge of all is Christia! >rey% Taylor thi!#s hes a good man.
Ca! 8 belie*e hiI
JosNO222P @oi!s us "ith a Chi!ese ta#e9out at eight% Were do!e% Were pa$#ed a!d ready to
go% 3e bri!gs se*eral bottles of beer, a!d Eate a!d 8 sit o! the $ou$h "hile hes $ross9legged o! the
floor bet"ee! us% We "at$h $rap TA, dri!# beer, a!d as the e*e!i!g "ears o!, "e fo!dly a!d loudly
rei!is$e as the beer ta#es effe$t% 8ts bee! a good four years%
The atosphere bet"ee! JosNO222P a!d 8 has retur!ed to !oral, the attepted #iss
forgotte!% Well, its bee! s"ept u!der the rug that y i!!er goddess is lyi!g o!, eati!g grapes a!d
tappi!g her fi!gers, "aiti!g !ot so patie!tly for Su!day% Theres a #!o$# o! the door, a!d y heart
leaps i!to y throat% 8s itI
Eate a!s"ers the door a!d is !early #!o$#ed off her feet by Elliot% 3e seiFes her i! a
3olly"ood9style $li!$h that o*es Bui$#ly i!to a Europea! art house ebra$e% 7onestly0
get a room. JosNO222P a!d 8 stare at ea$h other% 8 appalled at their la$# of odesty%
GShall "e "al# do"! to the barIH 8 as# JosNO222P, "ho !ods fra!ti$ally% We are too
u!$ofortable "ith the u!restrai!ed se1i!g u!foldi!g i! fro!t of us% Eate loo#s up at e, flushed
a!d bright9eyed%
GJosNO222P a!d 8 are goi!g for a Bui$# dri!#%H 8 roll y eyes at her% 3aK 8 $a! still roll y
eyes i! y o"! tie%
G/#ay,H she gri!s%
G3i Elliot, bye Elliot%H
3e "i!#s a big blue eye at e, a!d JosNO222P a!d 8 are out of the door, giggli!g li#e
tee!agers% &s "e stroll do"! to the bar, 8 put y ar through JosNO222Ps% >od, hes so
u!$opli$ated
9 8 had!t really appre$iated that before%
GJoull still $oe to the ope!i!g of y sho", "o!t youIH
G/f $ourse, JosNO222P, "he! is itIH
GJu!e '%H
GWhat day is thatIH 8 sudde!ly pa!i$%
G8ts a Thursday%H
GJeah 8 should a#e thatL a!d you "ill *isit us i! SeattleIH
GTry a!d stop e%H 3e gri!s%
8ts late "he! 8 arri*e ba$# fro the bar% Eate a!d Elliot are !o"here to be see! but boy $a!
they be heard% 7oly shit. 8 hope 8 !ot that loud% 8 #!o" Christia! is!t% 8 flush at the thought a!d
es$ape to y roo% &fter a brief !ot9at9all9a"#"ard9tha!#9good!ess hug, JosNO222P has go!e% 8
do!t #!o" "he! 8ll see hi agai!, probably his photographi$ sho", a!d o!$e agai!, 8 blo"!
a"ay that he fi!ally has a! e1hibitio!% 8 shall iss hi a!d his boy9ish $har% 8 $ould!t bri!g
yself to tell hi about the 0eetle, 8 #!o" hell frea# "he! he fi!ds out, a!d 8 $a! o!ly deal "ith
o!e a! at a tie frea#i!g out at e% /!$e i! y roo, 8 $he$# the ea! a$hi!e, a!d of $ourse,
theres a! eail fro Christia!%
)rom: Christia! >rey
S1b2ect: Where &re JouI
"ate: =ay 27 2011 22:1S
$o: &!astasia Steele
-I am at wor(. I will email you when I get home.*
&re you still at "or# or ha*e you pa$#ed your pho!e, 0la$#0erry a!d =a$0oo#I
Call e, or 8 ay be for$ed to $all Elliot%
Christia! >rey
CE/, >rey E!terprises 3oldi!gs 8!$%
CrapL =os>?2@@A0 shit.
8 grab y pho!e% Fi*e issed $alls a!d o!e *oi$e essage% Te!tati*ely, 8 liste! to the
essage% 8ts Christia!%
-I thin( you need to learn to manage my e<pectations. I am not a patient man. If you say you
are going to contact me when you finish wor( then you should ha6e the decency to do so.
Otherwise I worry and it*s not an emotion I*m familiar with and I don*t tolerate it 6ery well. Call
me.*
<ouble $rap% Will he e*er gi*e e a brea#I 8 s$o"l at the pho!e% 3e is suffo$ati!g e% With a
deep dread u!$urli!g i! y stoa$h, 8 s$roll do"! to his !uber a!d press dial% =y heart is i! y
outh as 8 "ait for hi to a!s"er% 3ed probably li#e to beat se*e! shades of shit out of e . The
thought is depressi!g%
G3i,H he says softly, a!d his respo!se #!o$#s e off bala!$e be$ause 8 a e1pe$ti!g his
a!ger, but if a!ythi!g, he sou!ds relie*ed%
G3i,H 8 urur%
G8 "as "orried about you%H
G8 #!o"% 8 sorry 8 did!t reply, but 8 fi!e%H
3e pauses for a beat%
G<id you ha*e a pleasa!t e*e!i!gIH 3e is $risply polite%
GJes% We fi!ished pa$#i!g a!d Eate a!d 8 shared a Chi!ese ta#e9out "ith JosNO222P%H 8 $lose
y eyes tightly as 8 say JosNO222Ps !ae% Christia! says !othi!g%
G3o" about youIH 8 as# to fill the sudde! deafe!i!g $has of sile!$e% 8 "ill !ot let hi guilt
e out about JosNO222P%
E*e!tually, he sighs%
G8 "e!t to a fu!draisi!g di!!er% 8t "as deathly dull% 8 left as soo! as 8 $ould%H
3e sou!ds so sad a!d resig!ed% =y heart $le!$hes% 8 pi$ture hi all those !ights ago sat at the
pia!o i! his huge li*i!g roo a!d the u!bearable bitters"eet ela!$holy of the usi$ he "as
playi!g%
G8 "ish you "ere here,H 8 "hisper, be$ause 8 ha*e a! urge to hold hi% Soothe hi%
E*e! though he "o!t let e% 8 "a!t his pro1iity%
G<o youIH he ururs bla!dly% 7oly mac(erel. This does!t sou!d li#e hi, a!d y s$alp
pri$#les "ith da"!i!g apprehe!sio!%
GJes,H 8 breathe% &fter a! eter!ity, he sighs%
G8ll see you Su!dayIH
GJes, Su!day,H 8 urur, a!d a thrill $ourses through y body%
G>ood!ight%H
G>ood!ight, Sir%H
=y address $at$hes hi u!a"ares, 8 $a! tell by his sharp i!ta#e of breath%
G>ood lu$# "ith your o*e toorro", &!astasia%H 3is *oi$e is soft% &!d "ere both ha!gi!g
o! the pho!e li#e tee!agers, !either "a!ti!g to ha!g up%
GJou ha!g up,H 8 "hisper% Fi!ally, 8 se!se his sile%
G+o, you ha!g up%H &!d 8 #!o" hes gri!!i!g%
G8 do!t "a!t to%H
G+either do 8%H
GWere you *ery a!gry "ith eIH
GJes%H
G&re you stillIH
G+o%H
GSo youre !ot goi!g to pu!ish eIH
G+o% 8 a! i!9the9oe!t #i!d of guy%H
G8*e !oti$ed%H
GJou $a! ha!g up !o", =iss Steele%H
G<o you really "a!t e to, SirIH
G>o to bed, &!astasia%H
GJes, Sir%H
We both stay o! the li!e%
G<o you e*er thi!# youll be able to do "hat youre toldIH 3es aused a!d e1asperated at
o!$e%
G=aybe% Well see after Su!day%H &!d 8 press Me!d o! the pho!e%
Elliot sta!ds a!d adires his ha!di"or#% 3e has re9plugged our TA i!to the satellite syste i!
our .i#e .la$e =ar#et aparte!t% Eate a!d 8 flop o! to the $ou$h giggli!g, ipressed by his
pro"ess "ith a po"er drill% The flat s$ree! loo#s odd agai!st the bri$#"or# of the $o!*erted
"arehouse, but !o doubt 8 "ill get used to it%
GSee, baby, easy%H 3e gri!s a "ide "hite9toothed sile at Eate, a!d she alost literally
dissol*es i!to the $ou$h%
8 roll y eyes at the pair of the%
G8d lo*e to stay, baby, but y sister is ba$# fro .aris% 8ts a $opulsory faily di!!er
to!ight%H
GCa! you $oe by afterIH Eate as#s te!tati*ely, all soft a!d u!9Eateli#e%
8 sta!d a!d a#e y "ay o*er to the #it$he! area o! the prete!se of u!pa$#i!g o!e of the
$rates% They are goi!g to get i$#y%
G8ll see if 8 $a! es$ape,H he proises%
G8ll $oe do"! "ith you%H Eate siles%
GLaters, &!a%H Elliot gri!s%
G0ye, Elliot% Say hi to Christia! fro e%H
GJust hiIH 3is eyebro"s shoot up suggesti*ely%
GJes%H 8 flush% 3e "i!#s at e, a!d 8 go $riso! as he follo"s Eate out of the
aparte!t%Elliot is adorable a!d so differe!t fro Christia!% 3es "ar, ope!, physi$al, *ery
physi$al, too physi$al, "ith Eate% They $a! barely #eep their ha!ds off ea$h other C to be ho!est its
ebarrassi!g 9 a!d 8 a pea9gree! "ith e!*y%
Eate retur!s about t"e!ty i!utes later "ith piFFa, a!d "e sit, surrou!ded by $rates, i! our
!e" ope! spa$e, eati!g straight fro the bo1% Eates dad has do!e us proud% The aparte!t is !ot
large, but its big e!ough, three bedroos a!d a large li*i!g spa$e that loo#s out o! to .i#e .la$e
=ar#et itself% 8ts all solid "ood floors a!d red bri$#, a!d the #it$he! tops are sooth $o!$rete, *ery
utilitaria!, *ery !o"% We both lo*e that "e "ill be i! the heart of the $ity%
&t eight the e!try9pho!e buFFes% Eate leaps up 9 a!d y heart leaps i!to y outh%
G<eli*ery, =iss Steele, =iss Ea*a!agh%H <isappoi!te!t flo"s freely a!d u!e1pe$tedly
through y *ei!s% 8ts !ot Christia!%
GSe$o!d floor, aparte!t t"o%H
Eate buFFes the deli*ery boy i!% 3is outh falls ope! "he! he sees Eate, all tight @ea!s, t9
shirt, hair piled high "ith es$api!g te!drils% She has that effe$t o! e!% 3e holds a bottle of
$hapag!e "ith a heli$opter9shaped balloo! atta$hed% She gi*es hi a daFFli!g sile to se!d hi
o! his "ay a!d pro$eeds to read the $ard out to e%
Gadies $ood luc( in your new home Christian $rey.
Eate sha#es her head i! disappro*al%
GWhy $a!t he @ust "rite Mfro Christia!I &!d "hats "ith the "eird heli$opter balloo!IH
GCharlie Ta!go%H
GWhatIH
GChristia! fle" e to Seattle i! his heli$opter%H 8 shrug%
Eate stares at e ope! outhed% 8 ha*e to say C 8 lo*e these o$$asio!s C Eatheri!e Ea*a!agh,
sile!t a!d floored, they are so rare% 8 ta#e a brief a!d lu1urious oe!t to e!@oy it%
GJep, he has a heli$opter, "hi$h he fle" hiself,H 8 state proudly%
G/f $ourse the obs$e!ely ri$h bastard has a heli$opter% Why did!t you tell eIH Eate loo#s
a$$usi!gly at e, but shes sili!g, sha#i!g her head i! disbelief%
G8*e had a lot o! y i!d lately%H
She fro"!s%
G&re you goi!g to be o#ay "hile 8 a"ayIH
G/f $ourse%H 8 a!s"er reassuri!gly% "ew city no +o,0 nut;+o, ,oyfriend.
G<id you gi*e hi our addressI
G+o, but stal#i!g is o!e of his spe$ialties%H 8 use, atter9of9fa$t%
Eates bro" #!its further%
GSoeho" 8 !ot surprised% 3e "orries e, &!a% &t least its a good $hapag!e a!d its
$hilled%H
/f $ourse, o!ly Christia! "ould se!d $hilled $hapag!e or get his se$retary to do itL
or aybe Taylor% We ope! it there a!d the! a!d fi!d our tea$ups 9 they "ere the last ites to
be pa$#ed%
G0olli!ger >ra!de &!!NO222Pe DosNO222P 1''', a! e1$elle!t *i!tage%H 8 gri! at Eate, a!d
"e $li!# tea$ups%
8 "a#e early to a gray Su!day or!i!g after a surprisi!gly refreshi!g !ights sleep a!d lie
a"a#e stari!g at y $rates% )ou should really ,e unpac(ing these y sub$o!s$ious !ags, pursi!g
her harpy lips together% "o0 today*s the day. =y i!!er goddess is beside herself, hoppi!g fro
foot to foot% &!ti$ipatio! ha!gs hea*y a!d porte!tous o*er y head li#e a dar# tropi$al stor $loud%
0utterflies flood y belly C as "ell as a dar#er, $ar!al, $apti*ati!g a$he as 8 try to iagi!e "hat he
"ill do to eL a!d of $ourse, 8 ha*e to sig! that da!ed $o!tra$t or do 8I 8 hear the pi!g of
i!$oi!g ail fro the ea! a$hi!e o! the floor beside y bed%
)rom: Christia! >rey
S1b2ect: =y Life i! +ubers
"ate: =ay 2' 2011 0):0S
$o: &!astasia Steele
8f you dri*e youll !eed this a$$ess $ode for the u!dergrou!d garage at Es$ala: 1S('(2
.ar# i! bay 4 C its o!e of i!e%
Code for the ele*ator: 1))0
Christia! >rey
CE/, >rey E!terprises 3oldi!gs 8!$%
)rom: &!astasia Steele
S1b2ect: &! e1$elle!t Ai!tage
"ate: =ay 2' 2011 0):0)
$o: Christia! >rey
Jes Sir% 5!derstood%
Tha!# you for the $hapag!e a!d the blo"9up Charlie Ta!go, "hi$h is !o" tied to y bed%
&!a
)rom: Christia! >rey
S1b2ect: E!*y
"ate: =ay 2' 2011 0):11
$o: &!astasia Steele
Joure "el$oe%
<o!t be late%
Lu$#y Charlie Ta!go%
Christia! >rey
CE/, >rey E!terprises 3oldi!gs 8!$%
8 roll y eyes at his bossi!ess, but his last li!e a#es e sile% 8 head for the bathroo,
"o!deri!g if Elliot ade it ba$# last !ight a!d tryi!g hard to rei! i! y !er*es%
8 $a! dri*e the &udi i! high9heelsK &t 12:44 p%% pre$isely, 8 pull i!to the garage at Es$ala a!d
par# i! bay fi*e% 3o" a!y bays does he o"!I The &udi S5A is there, the D), a!d t"o saller
&udi S5AsL hmm. 8 $he$# y seldo9"or! as$ara i! the light up *a!ity irror o! y
su!shield% <id!t ha*e o!e of these i! the 0eetle%
$o girl& =y i!!er goddess has her po pos i! ha!d 9 shes i! $heerleadi!g ode%
8! the i!fi!ity irrors of the ele*ator, 8 $he$# out y plu dress, "ell C Eates plu dress%
The last tie 8 "ore this, he "a!ted to peel it off e% =y body $le!$hes at the thought%
/h y, the feeli!g is @ust e1Buisite, a!d 8 $at$h y breath% 8 "eari!g the u!der"ear that
Taylor bought for e% 8 flush at the thought of his buFF9$ut roai!g the aisles of &ge!t .ro*o$ateur
or "here*er he bought it% The doors ope!, a!d 8 fa$i!g the foyer of aparte!t !uber o!e%
Taylor sta!ds at the double doors as 8 step out of the ele*ator%
G>ood after!oo!, =iss Steele,H he says%
G/h please $all e, &!a%H
G&!a,H he siles%
G=r% >rey is e1pe$ti!g you%H
I ,et he is.
Christia! is seated o! his li*i!g roo $ou$h readi!g the Su!day papers% 3e gla!$es up as
Taylor dire$ts e i!to the li*i!g area% The roo is e1a$tly as 8 reeber it C its bee! a "hole "ee#
si!$e 8*e bee! here C but it feels so u$h lo!ger% Christia! loo#s $ool a!d $al C a$tually, he loo#s
hea*e!ly% 3es i! a loose "hite li!e! shirt a!d @ea!s, !o shoes or so$#s% 3is hair is tousled a!d
u!#ept, a!d his gray eyes t"i!#le "i$#edly at e% 3e is @a"9droppi!gly ha!dsoe% 3e rises a!d
strolls to"ards e, a! aused appraisi!g sile o! his beautiful s$ulptured lips%
8 sta!d iobiliFed at the e!tra!$e of the roo, paralyFed by his beauty a!d the s"eet
a!ti$ipatio! of "hats to $oe% The failiar $harge bet"ee! us is there, spar#i!g slo"ly i! y
belly, dra"i!g e to hi%
G3L that dress,H he ururs appro*i!gly as he gaFes do"! at e% GWel$oe ba$#, =iss
Steele,H he "hispers, a!d $laspi!g y $hi!, he lea!s do"! a!d proffers a ge!tle light #iss o! y
lips% The tou$h of his lips to i!e re*erberates throughout y body% =y breath hit$hes%
G3i,H 8 "hisper as 8 flush%
GJoure o! tie% 8 li#e pu!$tual% Coe%H 3e ta#es y ha!d a!d leads e to the $ou$h% G8
"a!ted to sho" you soethi!g,H he says as "e sit% 3e ha!ds e the Seattle Ties% /! page eight,
theres a photograph of the t"o of us together at the graduatio! $ereo!y% 7oly crap. 8 i! the
paper% 8 $he$# the $aptio!%
Christian $rey and friend at the graduation ceremony at #%5 Dancou6er.
8 laugh%
GSo 8 your Mfrie!d !o"%H
GSo it "ould appear% &!d its i! the !e"spaper, so it ust be true%H 3e sir#s%
Sitti!g beside e, his "hole body is tur!ed to"ard e, o!e of his legs tu$#ed u!der the other%
Dea$hi!g o*er, he tu$#s y hair behi!d y ear "ith his lo!g i!de1 fi!ger% =y body $oes ali*e at
his tou$h, "aiti!g a!d !eedful%
GSo, &!astasia, you ha*e a u$h better idea of "hat 8 about si!$e you "ere last here%H
GJes%H #here*s he going with this.
G&!d yet you*e retur!ed%H
8 !od shyly, a!d his gray eyes blaFe% 3e sha#es his head slightly as if hes struggli!g "ith the
idea%
G3a*e you eate!IH he as#s out of the blue%
%hit.
G+o%H
G&re you hu!gryIH 3es really tryi!g !ot to loo# a!!oyed%
G+ot for food,H 8 "hisper, a!d his !ostrils flare slightly i! rea$tio!%
3e lea!s for"ard a!d "hispers i! y ear%
GJou are as eager as e*er, =iss Steele, a!d @ust to let you i!to a little se$ret, so a 8%
0ut <r% >ree!e is due here shortly%H 3e sits up% G8 "ish youd eat,H he s$olds e ildly%
=y heated blood $ools% 3oly $o" C the do$tor% 8d forgotte!%
GWhat $a! you tell e about <r% >ree!eIH 8 as# to distra$t us both%
GShes the best /b?>y! i! Seattle% What ore $a! 8 sayIH 3e shrugs%
G8 thought 8 "as seei!g your do$tor, a!d do!t tell e youre really a "oa!, be$ause 8 "o!t
belie*e you%H
3e gi*es e a do!t9be9ridi$ulous loo#%
G8 thi!# its ore appropriate that you see a spe$ialist% <o!t youIH he says ildly%
8 !od% 3oly =oses, if shes the best /b?>y!, hes s$heduled her to see e o! a Su!day
C at lu!$htieK 8 $a!!ot begi! to iagi!e ho" u$h that $osts% Christia! fro"!s sudde!ly as
if re$alli!g soethi!g u!pleasa!t%
G&!astasia, y other "ould li#e you to $oe to di!!er this e*e!i!g% 8 belie*e Elliot is
as#i!g Eate too% 8 do!t #!o" ho" you feel about that% 8t "ill be odd for e to i!trodu$e you to y
faily%H
Odd. #hy.
G&re you ashaed of eIH 8 $a!t #eep the "ou!ded hurt out of y *oi$e%
G/f $ourse !ot%H 3e rolls his eyes at e%
GWhy is it oddIH
G0e$ause 8*e !e*er do!e it before%H
GWhy are you allo"ed to roll your eyes, a!d 8 !otIH
3e bli!#s at e%
G8 "as!t a"are that 8 "as%H
G+either a 8 usually,H 8 s!ap at hi%
Christia! glares at e, spee$hless% Taylor appears at the door"ay%
G<r% >ree!e is here, Sir%H
GSho" her up to =iss Steeles roo%H
Miss %teele*s room&
GDeady for soe $o!tra$eptio!IH he as#s as he sta!ds a!d holds out his ha!d to e%
GJoure !ot goi!g to $oe as "ell are youIH 8 gasp, sho$#ed%
3e laughs%
G8d pay *ery good o!ey to "at$h, belie*e e, &!astasia, but 8 do!t thi!# the good do$tor
"ould appro*e%H
8 ta#e his ha!d, a!d he pulls e up i!to his ars a!d #isses e deeply% 8 $lut$h o! to his ars,
ta#e! by surprise% 3is ha!d is i! y hair holdi!g y head, a!d he pulls e agai!st hi, his
forehead agai!st i!e%
G8 so glad youre here,H he "hispers% G8 $a!t "ait to get you !a#ed%H
<r% >ree!e is tall, blo!d, a!d ia$ulate, dressed i! a royal blue suit% 8 rei!ded of the
"oe! "ho "or# i! Christia!s offi$e% Shes li#e a! ide!ti#it odel C a!other Stepford blo!de% 3er
lo!g hair is s"ept up i! a! elega!t $hig!o!% She ust be i! her early forties%
G=r% >rey%H She sha#es Christia!s outstret$hed ha!d%
GTha!# you for $oi!g at su$h short !oti$e,H Christia! says%
GTha!# you for a#i!g it "orth y "hile, =r% >rey% =iss Steele%H She siles, her eyes $ool
a!d assessi!g%
We sha#e ha!ds, a!d 8 #!o" shes o!e of those "oe! "ho does!t tolerate fools gladly% Li#e
Eate% 8 li#e her iediately% She gi*es Christia! a poi!ted stare, a!d after a! a"#"ard beat, he
ta#es his $ue%
G8ll be do"!stairs,H he utters, a!d he lea*es "hat "ill be y bedroo%
GWell =iss Steele% =r% >rey is payi!g e a sall fortu!e to atte!d to you% What $a! 8 do for
youIH
&fter a thorough e1ai!atio! a!d le!gthy dis$ussio!, <r% >ree!e a!d 8 de$ide o! the i!i
pill% She "rites e a pre9paid pres$riptio! a!d i!stru$ts e to pi$# the up toorro"% 8 lo*e her !o9
!o!se!se attitude C she has le$tured e u!til shes as blue as her dress about ta#i!g it at the sae
tie e*ery day% &!d 8 $a! tell shes bur!i!g "ith $uriosity about y so9$alled relatio!ship "ith =r%
>rey% 8 do!t gi*e her a!y details% Soeho" 8 do!t thi!# shed loo# so $al a!d $olle$ted if shed
see! his Ded Doo of .ai!% 8 flush as "e pass its $losed door a!d head ba$# do"!stairs to the art
gallery that is Christia!s li*i!g roo%
Christia! is readi!g, seated o! his $ou$h% & breathta#i!g aria is playi!g o! the usi$ syste,
s"irli!g rou!d hi, $o$oo!i!g hi, filli!g the roo "ith a s"eet, soulful so!g%
For a oe!t, he loo#s sere!e% 3e tur!s a!d gla!$es at us "he! "e e!ter a!d siles "arly
at e%
G&re you do!eIH he as#s as if hes ge!ui!ely i!terested% 3e poi!ts the reote at a slee# "hite
bo1 be!eath the firepla$e that houses his i.od, a!d the e1Buisite elody fades but $o!ti!ues i! the
ba$#grou!d% Sta!di!g, he strolls to"ards us%
GJes, =r% >rey% Loo# after herP shes a beautiful, bright you!g "oa!%H
Christia! is ta#e! aba$# C as a 8% What a! i!appropriate thi!g for a do$tor to say% 8s she
gi*i!g hi soe #i!d of !ot so subtle "ar!i!gI Christia! re$o*ers hiself%
G8 fully i!te!d to,H he utters, beused%
>aFi!g at hi, 8 shrug, ebarrassed%
G8ll se!d you y bill,H she says $risply as she sha#es his ha!d%
G>ood day, a!d good lu$# to you, &!a%H She siles, her eyes $ri!#li!g as she does "he! "e
sha#e ha!ds%
Taylor appears fro !o"here to es$ort her through the double doors a!d out to the ele*ator%
3o" does he do thatI Where does he lur#I
G3o" "as thatIH Christia! as#s%
GFi!e, tha!# you% She said that 8 had to abstai! fro all se1ual a$ti*ity for the !e1t four
"ee#s%H
Christia!s outh drops ope! i! sho$#, a!d 8 $a!!ot #eep a straight fa$e a!y lo!ger a!d gri!
at hi li#e a! idiot%
G>ot$haKH
3e !arro"s his eyes, a!d 8 iediately stop laughi!g% 8! fa$t, he loo#s rather forbiddi!g% Oh
shit. =y sub$o!s$ious Buails i! the $or!er as all the blood drai!s fro y fa$e, a!d 8 iagi!e hi
putti!g e a$ross his #!ee agai!%
G>ot$haKH he says a!d sir#s% 3e grabs e arou!d y "aist a!d pulls e up agai!st hi%
GJou are i!$orrigible, =iss Steele,H he ururs, stari!g do"! i!to y eyes as he "ea*es his
fi!gers i!to y hair, holdi!g e firly i! pla$e% 3e #isses e, hard, a!d 8 $li!g o! to his us$ular
ars for support%
G&s u$h as 8d li#e to ta#e you here, !o", you !eed to eat a!d so do 8% 8 do!t "a!t you
passi!g out o! e later,H he ururs agai!st y lips%
G8s that all you "a!t e for C y bodyIH 8 "hisper%
GThat a!d your sart outh,H he breathes%
3e #isses e agai! passio!ately, a!d the! abruptly releases e, ta#i!g y ha!d a!d leadi!g
e to the #it$he!% 8 a reeli!g% /!e i!ute "ere @o#i!g a!d the !e1tL 8 fa! y heated fa$e% 3es
@ust se1 o! legs, a!d !o" 8 ha*e to re$o*er y eBuilibriu a!d eat soethi!g% The aria is still
playi!g i! the ba$#grou!d%
GWhats the usi$IH
GAilla Lobos, a! aria fro 0a$hia!as 0rasileiras% >ood, is!t itIH
GJes,H 8 urur i! total agreee!t%
The brea#fast bar is laid for t"oP Christia! ta#es a salad bo"l fro the fridge%
GChi$#e! $aesar salad o#ay "ith youIH
Oh than( hea6ens nothing too hea6y.
GJes, fi!e, tha!# you%H
8 "at$h as he o*es gra$efully through his #it$he!% 3es so at ease "ith his body o! o!e
le*el, but the! he does!t li#e to be tou$hedL so aybe deep do"! he is!t% +o a! is a! isla!d, 8
use C e1$ept perhaps Christia! >rey%
GWhat are you thi!#i!gIH he as#s, pulli!g e fro y re*erie% 8 flush%
G8 "as @ust "at$hi!g the "ay you o*e%H
3e raises a! eyebro", aused%
G&!dIH he says dryly%
8 flush soe ore%
GJoure *ery gra$eful%H
GWhy tha!# you, =iss Steele,H he ururs% 3e sits do"! beside e, holdi!g a bottle of "i!e%
GChablisIH
G.lease%H
G3elp yourself to salad,H he says, his *oi$e soft%
GTell e 9 "hat ethod did you opt forIH
8 a oe!tarily thro"! by his Buestio!, "he! 8 realiFe hes tal#i!g about <r% >ree!es
*isit%G=i!i pill%H
3e fro"!s%
G&!d "ill you reeber to ta#e it regularly, at the right tie, e*ery dayIH
=ee:0 of course I will. 3o" does he #!o"I 8 blush at the thought, probably fro o!e or
ore of the fiftee!%
G8 sure youll rei!d e,H 8 urur dryly%
3e gla!$es at e "ith aused $o!des$e!sio!%
G8ll put a! alar o! y $ale!dar%H 3e sir#s% GEat%H
The $hi$#e! $aesar is deli$ious% To y surprise, 8 faished, a!d for the first tie si!$e 8*e
bee! "ith hi, 8 fi!ish y eal before he does% The "i!e is $risp, $lea!, a!d fruity%
GEager as e*er, =iss SteeleIH he siles do"! at y epty plate%
8 loo# at hi fro be!eath y lashes%
GJes,H 8 "hisper%
3is breath hit$hes% &!d as he stares do"! at e, 8 feel the atosphere bet"ee! us slo"ly
shift, e*ol*eL $harge% 3is loo# goes fro dar# to solderi!g, ta#i!g e "ith hi%
3e sta!ds, $losi!g the dista!$e bet"ee! us, a!d tugs e off y bar stool i!to his ars%
G<o you "a!t to do thisIH he breathes, loo#i!g do"! at e i!te!tly%
G8 ha*e!t sig!ed a!ythi!g%H
G8 #!o" C but 8 brea#i!g all the rules these days%H
G&re you goi!g to hit eIH
GJes, but it "o!t be to hurt you% 8 do!t "a!t to pu!ish you right !o"% 8f youd $aught e
yesterday e*e!i!g, "ell, that "ould ha*e bee! a differe!t story%H
3oly $o"% 3e wants to hurt eL ho" do 8 deal "ith thisI 8 $a!t hide the horror o! y fa$e%
G<o!t let a!yo!e try a!d $o!*i!$e you other"ise, &!astasia% /!e of the reaso!s people li#e
e do this is be$ause "e either li#e to gi*e or re$ei*e pai!% 8ts *ery siple%
Jou do!t, so 8 spe!t a great deal of tie yesterday thi!#i!g about that%H
3e pulls e agai!st hi, a!d his ere$tio! presses i!to y belly% 8 should ru!, but 8 $a!t% 8
dra"! to hi o! soe deep, elee!tal le*el, that 8 $a!t begi! to u!dersta!d%
G<id you rea$h a!y $o!$lusio!sIH 8 "hisper%
G+o, a!d right !o", 8 @ust "a!t to tie you up a!d fu$# you se!seless% &re you ready for thatIH
GJes,H 8 breathe as e*erythi!g i! y body tighte!s at o!$eL wow.
G>ood% Coe%H 3e ta#es y ha!d a!d, lea*i!g all the dirty dishes o! the brea#fast bar, a!d
"e head upstairs%
=y heart starts pou!di!g% This is it% 8 really goi!g to do this% =y i!!er goddess is spi!!i!g
li#e a "orld9$lass balleri!a, pirouette after pirouette% 3e ope!s the door to his playroo, sta!di!g
ba$# for e to "al# through, a!d 8 a o!$e ore i! the Ded Doo of .ai!%8ts the sae, the sell
of leather, $itrus, polish a!d dar# "ood, all *ery se!sual% =y blood is ru!!i!g heated a!d s$ared
through y syste C adre!ali!e i1ed "ith lust a!d lo!gi!g% 8ts a heady, pote!t $o$#tail%
Christia!s sta!$e has $ha!ged $opletely, subtly altered, harder a!d ea!er% 3e gaFes do"! at e
a!d his eyes are heated, lustfulL hyp!oti$%
GWhe! youre i! here, you are $opletely i!e,H he breathes, ea$h "ord slo" a!d easured%
GTo do "ith as 8 see fit% <o you u!dersta!dIH
3is gaFe is so i!te!se% 8 !od, y outh dry, y heart thupi!g for a "ay out of y $hest%
GTa#e your shoes off,H he orders softly%
8 s"allo", a!d rather $lusily, 8 ta#e the off% 3e be!ds a!d pi$#s the up a!d deposits the
beside the door%
G>ood% <o!t hesitate "he! 8 as# you to do soethi!g% +o" 8 goi!g to peel you out of this
dress% Soethi!g 8*e "a!ted to do for a fe" days if 8 re$all% 8 "a!t you to be $ofortable "ith
your body, &!astasia% Jou ha*e a beautiful body, a!d 8 li#e to loo# at it%
8t is a @oy to behold% 8! fa$t, 8 $ould gaFe at you all day, a!d 8 "a!t you u!ebarrassed a!d
u!ashaed of your !a#ed!ess% <o you u!dersta!dIH
GJes%H
GJes, "hatIH 3e lea!s o*er e, glari!g%
GJes, Sir%H
G<o you ea! thatIH he s!aps%
GJes, Sir%H
G>ood% Lift your ars up o*er your head%H
8 do as i!stru$ted, a!d he rea$hes do"! a!d grabs the he% Slo"ly, he pulls y dress up o*er
y thighs, y hips, y belly, y breasts, y shoulders, a!d o*er y head% 3e sta!ds ba$# to
e1ai!e e a!d abse!ti!dedly folds y dress, !ot ta#i!g his eyes off e%
3e pla$es it o! the large $hest beside the door% Dea$hi!g up, he pulls at y $hi!, his tou$h
seari!g e%
GJoure biti!g your lip,H he breathes% GJou #!o" "hat that does to e,H he adds dar#ly% GTur!
arou!d%H
8 tur! iediately, !o hesitatio!% 3e u!$lasps y bra a!d the! ta#i!g both straps, he slo"ly
pulls the do"! y ars, brushi!g y s#i! "ith his fi!gers a!d the tip of his thub!ails as he
slides y bra off% 3is tou$h se!ds shi*ers do"! y spi!e, "a#i!g e*ery !er*e e!di!g i! y body%
3es sta!di!g behi!d e, so $lose that 8 feel the heat radiati!g fro hi, "ari!g e, "ari!g e
all o*er% 3e pulls y hair so its all ha!gi!g do"! y ba$#, grasps a ha!dful at y !ape, a!d a!gles
y head to o!e side% 3e ru!s his !ose do"! y e1posed !e$#, i!hali!g all the "ay, the! ba$# up to
y ear% The us$les i! y belly $le!$h, $ar!al a!d "a!ti!g% JeeF, hes hardly tou$hed e, a!d 8
"a!t hi%
GJou sell as di*i!e as e*er, &!astasia,H he "hispers as he pla$es a soft #iss be!eath y ear%
8 oa!%
GQuiet,H he breathes% G<o!t a#e a sou!d%H
.ulli!g y hair behi!d e, to y surprise, he starts braidi!g it i! o!e large braid, his fi!gers
fast a!d deft% 3e ties it "ith a! u!see! hair tie "he! hes fi!ished a!d gi*es it a Bui$# tug so 8
for$ed ba$# agai!st hi%
G8 li#e your hair braided i! here,H he "hispers%
7mm0 why.
3e releases y hair%
GTur! arou!d,H he orders%
8 do as 8 bid, y breathi!g shallo", fear a!d lo!gi!g i1ed together% 8ts a! i!to1i$ati!g
i1%
GWhe! 8 tell you to $oe i! here, this is ho" you "ill dress% Just i! your pa!ties% <o you
u!dersta!dIH
GJes%H
GJes, "hatIH 3e glo"ers at e%
GJes, Sir%H
& tra$e of a sile lifts the $or!er of his outh%
G>ood girl%H 3is eyes bur! i!to i!e% GWhe! 8 tell you to $oe i! here, 8 e1pe$t you to #!eel
o*er there%H 3e poi!ts to a spot beside the door% G<o it !o"%H
8 bli!# pro$essi!g his "ords, tur!, a!d rather $lusily #!eel as dire$ted%
GJou $a! sit ba$# o! your heels%H
8 sit ba$#%
G.la$e your ha!ds a!d forears flat o! your thighs% >ood% +o" part your #!ees%
Wider% Wider% .erfe$t% Loo# do"! at the floor%H
3e "al#s o*er to e, a!d 8 $a! see his feet a!d shi!s i! y field of *isio!% +a#ed feet%
8 should be ta#i!g !otes if he "a!ts e to reeber% 3e rea$hes do"! a!d grasps y braid
agai!, the! pulls y head ba$# so 8 a loo#i!g up at hi% 8ts o!ly @ust !ot pai!ful%
GWill you reeber this positio!, &!astasiaIH
GJes, Sir%H
G>ood% Stay here, do!t o*e%H 3e lea*es the roo%
8 o! y #!ees, "aiti!g% Wheres he go!eI What is he goi!g to do to eI Tie shifts% 8
ha*e !o idea ho" lo!g he lea*es e li#e thisL a fe" i!utes, fi*e, te!I =y breathi!g be$oes
shallo"er, the a!ti$ipatio! is de*ouri!g e fro the i!side out%
&!d sudde!ly hes ba$# C a!d all at o!$e 8 $aler a!d ore e1$ited i! the sae breath%
Could I ,e more e<cited. 8 $a! see his feet% 3es $ha!ged his @ea!s% These are older, ripped, soft,
a!d o*er9"ashed% 3oly $o"% These @ea!s are hot% 3e shuts the door a!d ha!gs soethi!g o! the
ba$#%
G>ood girl, &!astasia% Jou loo# lo*ely li#e that% Well do!e% Sta!d up%H
8 sta!d, but 8 #eep y fa$e do"!%
GJou ay loo# at e%H
8 pee# up at hi, a!d hes stari!g at e i!te!tly, assessi!g, but his eyes softe!% 3es ta#e! off
his shirt% /h yL 8 "a!t to tou$h hi% The top butto! of his @ea!s is u!do!e%
G8 goi!g to $hai! you !o", &!astasia% >i*e e your right ha!d%H
8 gi*e hi y ha!d% 3e tur!s it pal up, a!d before 8 #!o" it, he s"ats the $e!ter "ith a
ridi!g $rop 8 had!t !oti$ed is i! his right ha!d% 8t happe!s so Bui$#ly that the surprise hardly
registers% E*e! ore asto!ishi!g C it does!t hurt% Well, !ot u$h, @ust a slight ri!gi!g sti!g%
G3o" does that feelIH he as#s%
8 bli!# at hi, $o!fused%
G&!s"er e%H
G/#ay%H 8 fro"!%
G<o!t fro"!%H
8 bli!# a!d try for ipassi*e% 8 su$$eed%
G<id that hurtIH
G+o%H
GThis is !ot goi!g to hurt% <o you u!dersta!dIH
GJes%H =y *oi$e is u!$ertai!% Is it really not going to hurt.
G8 ea! it,H he says%
JeeF, y breathi!g is so shallo"% <oes he #!o" "hat 8 thi!#i!gI 3e sho"s e the $rop%
8ts bro"! plaited leather% =y eyes @er# up to eet his, a!d theyre alight "ith fire a!d a tra$e of
ausee!t%
GWe ai to please, =iss Steele,H he ururs% GCoe%H 3e ta#es y elbo" a!d o*es e to
be!eath the grid% 3e rea$hes up a!d ta#es do"! soe sha$#les "ith bla$# leather $uffs%GThis grid is
desig!ed so the sha$#les o*e a$ross the grid%H
8 gla!$e up% 7oly shit C its li#e a sub"ay ap%
GWere goi!g to start here, but 8 "a!t to fu$# you sta!di!g up% So "ell e!d up by the "all
o*er there%H 3e poi!ts "ith the ridi!g $rop to "here the large "oode! 6 is o! the "all%
G.ut your ha!ds abo*e your head%H
8 oblige iediately, feeli!g li#e 8 e1iti!g y body C a $asual obser*er of e*e!ts as they
u!fold arou!d e% This is beyo!d fas$i!ati!g, beyo!d eroti$% 8ts si!gularly the ost e1$iti!g a!d
s$ary thi!g 8*e e*er do!e% 8 e!trusti!g yself to a beautiful a! "ho, by his o"! adissio!, is
fifty shades of fu$#ed9up% 8 suppress the brief thrill of fear% Eate a!d Elliot, they #!o" 8 here%
3e sta!ds *ery $lose as he faste!s the $uffs% 8 stari!g at his $hest% 3is pro1iity is
hea*e!ly% 3e sells of body "ash a!d Christia!, a! i!ebriati!g i1, a!d that drags e ba$# i!to the
!o"% 8 "a!t to ru! y !ose a!d to!gue through that satteri!g of $hest hair%
8 $ould @ust lea! for"ardL
3e steps ba$# a!d gaFes at e, his e1pressio! hooded, sala$ious, $ar!al, a!d 8 a helpless,
y ha!ds tied, but @ust loo#i!g at his lo*ely fa$e, readi!g his !eed a!d lo!gi!g for e, 8 $a! feel the
dap!ess bet"ee! y legs% 3e "al#s slo"ly rou!d e%
GJou loo# ighty fi!e trussed up li#e this, =iss Steele% &!d your sart outh, Buiet for !o"%
8 li#e that%H
Sta!di!g i! fro!t of e agai!, he hoo#s his fi!gers i!to y pa!ties, a!d at a ost u!hurried
pa$e, peels the do"! y legs, strippi!g e ago!iFi!gly slo"ly, so that he e!ds up #!eeli!g i!
fro!t of e% +ot ta#i!g his eyes off i!e, he s$ru!$hes y pa!ties i! his ha!d, holds the up to his
!ose, a!d i!hales deeply% 7oly fuc(. 4id he +ust do that. 3e gri!s "i$#edly at e a!d tu$#s the
i!to the po$#et of his @ea!s%
5!$oili!g fro the floor, risi!g laFily, li#e a @u!gle $at, he poi!ts the e!d of the ridi!g $rop at
y !a*el, leisurely $ir$li!g it C ta!taliFi!g e% &t the tou$h of the leather, 8 Bui*er a!d gasp% 3e
"al#s rou!d e agai!, traili!g the $rop arou!d the iddle of y body% /! his se$o!d $ir$uit, he
sudde!ly fli$#s the $rop, a!d it hits e u!der!eath y behi!dL agai!st y se1% 8 $ry out i!
surprise as all y !er*e e!di!gs sta!d to atte!tio!% 8 pull agai!st the restrai!ts% The sho$# ru!s
through e, a!d its the s"eetest stra!gest, hedo!isti$ feeli!g%
GQuiet,H he "hispers as he "al#s arou!d e agai!, the $rop slightly higher arou!d the iddle
of y body% This tie "he! he fli$#s it agai!st e i! the sae pla$e, 8 a!ti$ipat9i!g itL oh my.
=y body $o!*ulses at the s"eet, sti!gi!g bite%
&s he a#es his "ay arou!d e, he fli$#s agai!, this tie hitti!g y !ipple, a!d 8 thro" y
head ba$# as y !er*e e!di!gs si!g% 3e hits the otherL a brief, s"ift, s"eet $hastisee!t% =y
!ipples harde! a!d elo!gate fro the assault, a!d 8 oa! loudly, pulli!g o! y leather $uffs%
G<oes that feel goodIH he breathes%
GJes%H
3e hits e agai! a$ross the butto$#s% The $rop sti!gs this tie%
GJes "hatIH
GJes, Sir,H 8 "hiper%
3e $oes to a stopL but 8 $a! !o lo!ger see hi% =y eyes are $losed as 8 try to absorb the
yriad of se!satio!s $oursi!g through y body% Aery slo"ly, he rai!s sall, biti!g li$#s of the $rop
do"! y belly, headi!g south% 8 #!o" "here this is leadi!g, a!d 8 try a!d psy$he yself up for it C
but "he! he hits y $litoris, 8 $ry out loudly%
G/hL pleaseKH 8 groa!%
GQuiet,H he orders, a!d he hits e agai! o! y behi!d%
8 did !ot e1pe$t this to be li#e thisL 8 a lost% Lost i! a sea of se!satio!% &!d sudde!ly, hes
draggi!g the $rop agai!st y se1, through y pubi$ hair, do"! to the e!tra!$e of y *agi!a%
GSee ho" "et you are for this, &!astasia% /pe! your eyes a!d your outh%H
8 do as 8 told, $opletely sedu$ed% 3e pushes the tip of the $rop i!to y outh, li#e y
drea . 7oly shit.
GSee ho" you taste% Su$#% Su$# hard, baby%H
=y outh $loses arou!d the $rop as y eyes lo$# o! his% 8 $a! taste the ri$h leather a!d the
salti!ess of y arousal% 3is eyes are blaFi!g% 3es i! his elee!t%
3e pulls the tip fro y outh, a!d he sta!ds for"ard a!d grabs e a!d #isses e hard, his
to!gue i!*adi!g y outh% Wrappi!g his ars arou!d e, he pulls e agai!st hi% 3is $hest
$rushes i!e, a!d 8 it$h to tou$h, but 8 $a!t, y ha!ds, useless abo*e e%
G/h, &!astasia, you taste ighty fi!e,H he breathes% GShall 8 a#e you $oeIH
G.lease,H 8 beg%
The $rop bites y butto$#% Ow&
G.lease, "hatIH
G.lease, Sir,H 8 "hiper%
3e siles at e, triupha!t%
GWith thisIH 3e holds the $rop up so 8 $a! see it%
GJes, Sir%H
G&re you sureIH 3e loo#s ster!ly at e%
GJes, please, Sir%H
GClose your eyes%H
8 shut the roo out, hi outL the $rop out% 3e starts sall, biti!g li$#s of the $rop agai!st
y belly o!$e ore% =o*i!g do"!, soft sall li$#s agai!st y $litoris, o!$e, t"i$e, three ties,
agai! a!d agai!, u!til fi!ally, thats it C 8 $a! ta#e !o ore C a!d 8 $oe, gloriously, loudly, saggi!g
"ea#ly% 3is ars $url arou!d e as y legs tur! to @elly% 8 dissol*e i! his ebra$e, y head agai!st
his $hest, a!d 8 e"li!g a!d "hiperi!g as the aftersho$#s of y orgas $o!sue e% 3e lifts
e, a!d sudde!ly "ere o*i!g, y ars still tethered abo*e y head, a!d 8 $a! feel the $ool
"ood of the polished $ross at y ba$#, a!d hes poppi!g the butto!s o! his @ea!s% 3e puts e do"!
agai!st the $ross briefly "hile he slides o! a $o!do, a!d the! his ha!ds "rap arou!d y thighs as
he lifts e agai!%
GLift your legs, baby, "rap the rou!d e%H
8 feel so "ea#, but 8 do as he as#s as he "raps y legs arou!d his hips a!d positio!s hiself
be!eath e% With o!e thrust, hes i!side e, a!d 8 $ry out agai!, liste!i!g to his uffled oa! at
y ear% =y ars are resti!g o! his shoulders as he thrusts i!to e% JeeF, its deep this "ay% 3e
thrusts agai! a!d agai!, his fa$e at y !e$#, his harsh breathi!g at y throat% 8 feel the build up
agai!% JeeF !oL !ot agai!L 8 do!t thi!# y body "ill "ith9sta!d a!other earth9shatteri!g
oe!t% 0ut 8 ha*e !o $hoi$eL a!d "ith a! i!e*itability thats be$oi!g failiar, 8 let go a!d
$oe agai!, a!d its s"eet a!d ago!iFi!g a!d i!te!se%
8 lose all se!se of self% Christia! follo"s, shouti!g his release through $le!$hed teeth a!d
holdi!g e hard a!d $lose as he does%
3e pulls out of e s"iftly a!d sets e do"! agai!st the $ross, his body supporti!g i!e%
5!bu$#li!g the $uffs, he frees y ha!ds, a!d "e both si!# to the floor% 3e pulls e i!to his lap,
$radli!g e, a!d 8 lea! y head agai!st his $hest% 8f 8 had the stre!gth, 8d tou$h hi, but 8 do!t%
0elatedly, 8 realiFe hes still "eari!g his @ea!s%
GWell do!e, baby,H he ururs% G<id that hurtIH
G+o,H 8 breathe% 8 $a! barely #eep y eyes ope!% #hy am I so tired.
G<id you e1pe$t it toIH he "hispers as he holds e $lose, his fi!gers pushi!g soe es$aped
te!drils of hair off y fa$e%
GJes%H
GJou see ost of your fear is i! your head, &!astasia,H he pauses% GWould you do it agai!IH
8 thi!# for a oe!t as fatigue $louds y brai! 0 Again.
GJes%H =y *oi$e is so soft%
3e hugs e tightly%
G>ood% So "ould 8,H he ururs, the! lea!s do"! a!d softly #isses the top of y head%G&!d
8 ha*e!t fi!ished "ith you yet%H
"ot finished with me yet. 7oly Moses. Theres !o "ay 8 $a! do a!y ore% 8 a utterly spe!t
a!d fighti!g a! o*er"heli!g desire to sleep% 8 lea!i!g agai!st his $hest, y eyes are $losed, a!d
hes "rapped arou!d e C ars a!d legs C a!d 8 feelL safe, a!d oh so $ofortable% Will he let e
sleep, per$ha!$e to dreaI =y outh Buir#s up at the silly thought, a!d tur!i!g y fa$e i!to
Christia!s $hest, 8 i!hale his u!iBue s$e!t a!d !uFFle hi, but iediately he te!sesL oh $rap% 8
ope! y eyes a!d gla!$e up at hi% 3es stari!g do"! at e%
G<o!t,H he breathes i! "ar!i!g%
8 flush a!d loo# ba$# at his $hest i! lo!gi!g% 8 "a!t to ru! y to!gue through the hair, #iss
hi, a!d for the first tie, 8 !oti$e he has a fe" ra!do a!d fai!t sall, rou!d s$ars dotted arou!d
his $hest% Chic(en po<. Measles. 8 thi!# abse!tly%
GE!eel by the door,H he orders as he sits ba$#, putti!g his ha!ds o! his #!ees, effe$ti*ely
releasi!g e% +o lo!ger "ar, the teperature of his *oi$e has dropped se*eral degrees%
8 stuble $lusily up i!to a sta!di!g positio! a!d s$oot o*er to the door a!d #!eel as
i!stru$ted% 8 sha#y a!d *ery, *ery tired, o!ue!tally $o!fused% Who "ould ha*e thought 8
$ould ha*e fou!d su$h gratifi$atio! i! this roo% Who $ould ha*e thought it "ould be so
e<hausting. =y libs are deli$iously hea*y, sated% =y i!!er goddess has a
Mdo !ot disturb sig! o! the outside of her roo%
Christia! is o*i!g about i! the periphery of y *isio!% =y eyes start to droop%
G0ori!g you, a 8, =iss SteeleIH
8 @up a"a#e, a!d Christia! is sta!di!g i! fro!t of e, his ars $rossed glari!g do"! at e%
/h shit, $aught !appi!g C this is !ot goi!g to be good% 3is eyes softe! as 8 gaFe up at hi%
GSta!d up,H he orders%
8 $lib "arily to y feet% 3e stares at e, a!d his ouths Buir#s up%
GJoure shattered, are!t youIH
8 !od shyly, flushi!g%
GStai!a, =iss Steele%H 3e !arro"s his eyes at e% G8 ha*e!t had y fill of you yet%
3old out your ha!ds i! fro!t as if youre prayi!g%H
8 bli!# at hi% /raying& /raying for you to go easy on me. 8 do as 8 told% 3e ta#es a $able
tie a!d faste!s it arou!d y "rists, tighte!i!g the plasti$% 3oly hell% =y eyes fly to his%
GLoo# failiar,H he as#s, u!able to $o!$eal his sile%
JeeFL the plasti$ $able ties% Restoc(ing at Clayto!sK 8t all be$oes $lear% 8 gape up at hi as
adre!ali!e spi#es though y body a!e"% /#ay C thats got y atte!tio! C 8 a"a#e !o"%
G8 ha*e s$issors here%H 3e holds the up for e to see% G8 $a! $ut you out of this i! a
oe!t%H
8 try to pull y "rists apart, testi!g y bo!ds, a!d as 8 do, the plasti$ bites i!to y flesh C its
sore, but if 8 rela1 y "rists theyre fi!e C the tie is !ot $utti!g i!to y s#i!%
GCoe%H 3e ta#es y ha!ds a!d leads e o*er to the four9poster bed% 8 !oti$e !o" that it has
dar# red sheets o! it a!d a sha$#le at ea$h $or!er%
G8 "a!t ore C u$h, u$h ore,H he lea!s do"! a!d "hispers i! y ear%
&!d y heartbeat starts pou!di!g agai!% Oh ,oy.
G0ut 8ll a#e this Bui$#% Joure tired% 3old o! to the post,H he says%
8 fro"!% "ot on the ,ed then. 8 fi!d 8 $a! part y ha!ds as 8 grasp the or!ately $ar*ed
"oode! post%
GLo"er,H he orders% G>ood% <o!t let go% 8f you do, 8ll spa!# you% 5!dersta!dIH
GJes, Sir%H
G>ood%H
3e sta!ds behi!d e a!d grasps y hips, a!d the! Bui$#ly lifts e ba$#"ard so 8 be!di!g
for"ard, holdi!g the post%
G<o!t let go, &!astasia,H he "ar!s% G8 goi!g to fu$# you hard fro behi!d% 3old the post
to support your "eight% 5!dersta!dIH
GJes%H
3e sa$#s e a$ross y behi!d "ith his ha!d% Ow0 8t sti!gs%
GJes, Sir,H 8 utter Bui$#ly%
G.art your legs%H 3e puts his leg bet"ee! i!e, a!d holdi!g y hips, he pushes y right leg
to the side%
GThats better% &fter this, 8ll let you sleep%H
SleepI 8 pa!ti!g% 8 !ot thi!#i!g of sleep !o"% 3e rea$hes up a!d ge!tly stro#es y ba$#%
GJou ha*e su$h beautiful s#i!, &!astasia,H he breathes as he be!ds do"! a!d #isses e alo!g
y spi!e, ge!tle feather9light #isses% &t the sae tie, his ha!ds o*e rou!d to y fro!t pali!g
y breasts, a!d as he does this, he traps y !ipples bet"ee! his fi!gers a!d tugs the ge!tly%
8 stifle y oa! as 8 feel y "hole body respo!d, $oi!g ali*e o!$e ore for hi%
3e ge!tly bites a!d su$#s e at y "aist, tuggi!g y !ipples, a!d y ha!ds tighte! o! the
e1Buisitely $ar*ed post% 3is ha!ds drop a"ay, a!d 8 hear the !o" failiar tear of foil, a!d he #i$#s
off his @ea!s%
GJou ha*e su$h a $apti*ati!g, se1y ass, &!astasia Steele% What 8d li#e to do to it%H
3is ha!ds sooth a!d shape ea$h of y butto$#s, the! his fi!gers glide do"!, a!d he slips
t"o fi!gers i!side e%
GSo "et% Jou !e*er disappoi!t, =iss Steele,H he "hispers, a!d 8 hear the "o!der i! his *oi$e%
G3old tightL this is goi!g to be Bui$#, baby%H
3e grabs y hips a!d positio!s hiself, a!d 8 bra$e yself for his assault% 0ut he rea$hes
o*er e a!d grabs y braid !ear the e!d a!d "i!ds it rou!d his "rist to y !ape holdi!g y head
i! pla$e% Aery slo"ly he eases i!to e, pulli!g y hair at the sae tieL oh the fullness. 3e
eases out of e slo"ly, a!d his other ha!d grabs y hip, holdi!g tight, a!d the! he slas i!to e,
@olti!g e for"ard%
G3old o!, &!astasiaKH he shouts through $le!$hed teeth%
8 grip harder rou!d the post a!d push ba$# agai!st hi as he $o!ti!ues his er$iless
o!slaught, agai! a!d agai!, his fi!gers diggi!g i!to y hip% =y ars are a$hi!g, y legs feel
u!$ertai!, y s$alp is getti!g sore fro his tuggi!g y hairL a!d 8 $a! feel a gatheri!g deep i!side
e% /h !oL a!d for the first tie, 8 fear y orgasL if 8 $oeL
8ll $ollapse% Christia! $o!ti!ues to o*e roughly agai!st e, i! e, his breathi!g harsh,
oa!i!g, groa!i!g% =y body is respo!di!g 0 how. 8 feel a Bui$#e!i!g% 0ut sudde!ly, Christia!
stills, slai!g really deep%
GCoe o!, &!a, gi*e it to e,H he groa!s, a!d y !ae o! his lips se!ds e o*er the edge as
8 be$oe all body a!d spirali!g se!satio! a!d s"eet, s"eet release, a!d the! $opletely a!d utterly
i!dless%
Whe! se!se retur!s, 8 lyi!g o! hi% 3es o! the floor, a!d 8 lyi!g o! top of hi, y
ba$# to his fro!t, a!d 8 stari!g at the $eili!g, all post9$oital, glo"i!g, shattered% Oh0
the (ara,iners 8 thi!# abse!tly C 8d forgotte! about those% Christia! !uFFles y ear%
G3old up your ha!ds,H he says softly%
=y ars feel li#e theyre ade of lead, but 8 hold the up% 3e "ields the s$issors a!d passes
o!e blade u!der the plasti$%
G8 de$lare this &!a ope!,H he breathes, a!d $uts the plasti$%
8 giggle a!d rub y "rists as theyre freed% 8 feel his gri!%
GThat is su$h a lo*ely sou!d,H he says "istfully% 3e sits sudde!ly, ta#i!g e "ith hi so that
8 o!$e ore sitti!g i! his lap%
GThats y fault,H he says a!d shifts e so that he $a! rub y shoulders a!d ars%
>e!tly he assages soe life ba$# i!to y libs
#hat.
8 gla!$e up at hi behi!d e, tryi!g to u!dersta!d "hat he ea!s%
GThat you do!t giggle ore ofte!%H
G8 !ot a great giggler,H 8 uble sleepily%
G/h, but "he! it happe!s, =iss Steele, Mtis a "o!der a!d @oy to behold%H
GAery flo"ery, =r% >rey,H 8 utter, tryi!g to #eep y eyes ope!%
3is eyes softe!, a!d he siles%
G8d say youre thoroughly fu$#ed a!d i! !eed of sleep%H
GThat "as!t flo"ery at all,H 8 gruble playfully%
3e gri!s a!d ge!tly lifts e off hi a!d sta!ds, gloriously !a#ed% 8 "ish oe!tarily that 8
"ere ore a"a#e to really appre$iate hi% .i$#i!g up his @ea!s, he slides the ba$# o!, $oa!do%
G<o!t "a!t to frighte! Taylor, or =rs% Jo!es for that atter,H he utters%
7mm0 they must (now what a (in(y ,astard he is. 1he thought preoccupies me.
3e stoops to help e to y feet a!d leads e to the door, o! the ba$# of "hi$h ha!gs a grey
"affle robe% 3e patie!tly dresses e as if 8 a sall $hild% 8 do!t ha*e the stre!gth to lift y
ars% Whe! 8 $o*ered a!d respe$table, he lea!s do"! a!d #isses e ge!tly, his outh Buir#s up
i! a sile%
G0ed,H he says%
Oh0 no0
GFor sleep,H he adds reassuri!gly "he! he sees y e1pressio!%
Sudde!ly, he s$oops e up a!d $arries e $urled agai!st his $hest to the roo alo!g the
$orridor "here earlier today <r% >ree!e e1ai!ed e% =y head drops agai!st his $hest%
8 a e1hausted% 8 do!t reeber e*er bei!g this tired% .ulli!g ba$# the du*et, he lays e
do"!, a!d e*e! ore surprisi!gly, $libs i! beside e a!d holds e $lose%
GSleep !o", gorgeous girl,H he "hispers, a!d he #isses y hair%
&!d before 8 $a! a#e a fa$etious $oe!t, 8 asleep%
Soft lips brush a$ross y teple, lea*i!g s"eet te!der #isses i! their "a#e, a!d part of e
"a!ts to tur! a!d respo!d, but ostly 8 "a!t to stay asleep% 8 oa! a!d burro" i!to y pillo"%
G&!astasia, "a#e up%H Christia!s *oi$e is soft, $a@oli!g%
G+o,H 8 oa!%
GWe ha*e to lea*e i! half a! hour for di!!er at y pare!ts%H 3es aused%
8 ope! y eyes relu$ta!tly% 8ts dus# outside% Christia! is lea!i!g o*er, gaFi!g at e i!te!tly%
GCoe o! sleepy9head% >et up%H 3e stoops do"! a!d #isses e agai!%
G8*e bought you a dri!#% 8ll be do"!stairs% <o!t go ba$# to sleep, or youll be i! trouble,H
he threate!s, but his to!e is ild% 3e #isses e briefly a!d e1its, lea*i!g e bli!#i!g sleep fro y
eyes i! the $ool, star# roo%
8 refreshed but sudde!ly !er*ous% 3oly $o", 8 a eeti!g his fol#sK 3es @ust "or#ed e
o*er "ith a ridi!g $rop a!d tied e up usi!g a $able tie "hi$h 8 sold hi, for hea*e!s sa#e C a!d
8 goi!g to eet his pare!ts% 8t "ill be Eates first tie eeti!g the too C at least shell be there
for support% 8 roll y shoulders% Theyre stiff% 3is dea!ds for a perso!al trai!er do!t see so
outla!dish !o", i! fa$t, theyre a!datory if 8 a to ha*e a!y hope of #eepi!g up "ith hi%
8 $lib slo"ly out of bed a!d !ote that y dress is ha!gi!g outside the "ardrobe a!d y bra
is o! the $hair% Where are y pa!tiesI 8 $he$# be!eath the $hair% +othi!g% The! 8 reeber C he
sBuirreled the a"ay i! the po$#et of his @ea!s% 8 flush at the eory, after he, 8 $a!t e*e! bri!g
yself to thi!# about it, he "as so C barbarous% 8 fro"!% #hy hasn*t he gi6en me ,ac( my panties.
8 steal i!to the bathroo, be"ildered by y la$# of u!der"ear% While dryi!g yself after y
e!@oyable but far too brief sho"er, 8 realiFe hes do!e this o! purpose% 3e "a!ts e to be
ebarrassed a!d as# for y pa!ties ba$#, a!d hell either say yes or !o% =y i!!er goddess gri!s at
e% 7ell0 two can play that particular game. Desol*i!g there a!d the! !ot to as# hi for the
a!d !ot gi*e hi that satisfa$tio!, 8 shall go eet his pare!ts sa!s $ulottes% Anastasia %teele& =y
sub$o!s$ious $hides e, but 8 do!t "a!t to liste! to her C 8 alost hug yself "ith glee be$ause 8
#!o" this "ill dri*e hi $raFy%
0a$# i! the bedroo, 8 put o! y bra, slip i!to y dress, a!d $lib i!to y shoes% 8 reo*e
the braid a!d hastily brush out y hair, 8 the! gla!$e do"! at the dri!# hes left%
8ts pale pi!#% Whats thisI Cra!berry a!d spar#li!g "ater% 3L it tastes deli$ious a!d
Bue!$hes y thirst%
<ashi!g ba$# i!to the bathroo, 8 $he$# yself i! the irror: eyes bright, $hee#s slightly
flushed, slightly sug loo# be$ause of y pa!ty pla!, a!d 8 head do"!stairs% Fiftee! i!utes% +ot
bad, &!a%
Christia! is sta!di!g by the pa!orai$ "i!do", "eari!g the grey fla!!el pa!ts that 8 lo*e, the
o!es that ha!g i! that u!belie*ably se1y "ay off his hips, a!d of $ourse, a "hite li!e! shirt% <oes!t
he ha*e a!y other $olorsI Fra!# Si!atra si!gs softly o*er the surrou!d sou!d spea#ers%
Christia! tur!s a!d siles as 8 e!ter% 3e loo#s at e e1pe$ta!tly%
G3i,H 8 say softly, a!d y sphi!19li#e sile eets his%
G3i,H he says% G3o" are you feeli!gIH 3is eyes are alight "ith ausee!t%
G>ood, tha!#s% JouIH
G8 feel ighty fi!e, =iss Steele%H
3e is so "aiti!g for e to say soethi!g%
GFra!#% 8 !e*er figured you for a Si!atra fa!%H
3e raises his eyebro"s at e, his loo# spe$ulati*e%
GE$le$ti$ taste, =iss Steele,H he ururs, a!d he pa$es to"ard e li#e a pa!ther u!til hes
sta!di!g i! fro!t of e, his gaFe so i!te!se it ta#es y breath a"ay%
Fra!# starts $roo!i!gL a! old so!g, o!e of Days fa*orites% MWit$h$raft% Christia! leisurely
tra$es his fi!gertips do"! y $hee#, a!d 8 feel it all the "ay do"! there.
G<a!$e "ith e,H he ururs, his *oi$e hus#y%
Ta#i!g the reote out of his po$#et, he tur!s up the *olue a!d holds his ha!d out to e, his
gray gaFe full of proise a!d lo!gi!g a!d huor% 3e is totally beguili!g, a!d 8 be"it$hed% 8 pla$e
y ha!d i! his% 3e gri!s laFily do"! at e a!d pulls e i!to his ebra$e, his ar $urli!g arou!d
y "aist, a!d he starts to s"ay%
8 put y free ha!d o! his shoulder a!d gri! up at hi, $aught i! his i!fe$tious, playful ood%
&!d he starts to o*e% 0oy $a! he da!$e% We $o*er the floor, fro the "i!do" to the #it$he! a!d
ba$# agai!, "hirli!g a!d tur!i!g i! tie to the usi$% &!d he a#es it so effortless for e to
follo"%
We glide arou!d the di!i!g table, o*er to the pia!o, a!d ba$#"ards a!d for"ards i! fro!t of
the glass "all, Seattle t"i!#li!g outside, a dar# a!d agi$al ural to our da!$e, a!d 8 $a!t help y
$arefree laugh% 3e gri!s do"! at e as the so!g $oes to a $lose%
GTheres !o !i$er "it$h tha! you,H he ururs, the! #isses e s"eetly% GWell, thats bought
soe $olor to your $hee#s, =iss Steele% Tha!# you for the da!$e% Shall "e go a!d eet y
pare!tsIH
GJoure "el$oe, a!d yes, 8 $a!t "ait to eet the,H 8 a!s"er breathlessly%
G<o you ha*e e*erythi!g you !eedIH
G/h, yes,H 8 respo!d s"eetly%
G&re you sureIH
8 !od as !o!$hala!tly as 8 $a! a!age u!der his i!te!se, aused s$ruti!y% 3is fa$e splits i!to
a huge gri!, a!d he sha#es his head%
G/#ay% 8f thats the "ay you "a!t to play it, =iss Steele%H
3e grabs y ha!d, $olle$ts his @a$#et "hi$h is ha!gi!g o! o!e of the barstools, a!d leads e
through the foyer to the ele*ator% /h, the a!y fa$es of Christia! >rey% #ill I e6er ,e a,le to
understand this mercurial man.
8 pee# up at hi i! the ele*ator% 3es e!@oyi!g a pri*ate @o#e, a tra$e of a sile flirti!g "ith
his beautiful outh% 8 fear that it ay be at y e1pe!se% #hat was I thin(ing. 8 goi!g to see his
pare!ts, a!d 8 !ot "eari!g a!y u!der"ear% =y sub$o!s$ious gi*es e a! u!helpful I told you so
e1pressio!% 8! the relati*e safety of his aparte!t, it seeed li#e a fu!, teasi!g idea% +o", 8
alost outside "ith "o /anties& 3e peers do"! at e, a!d its there, the $harge buildi!g bet"ee!
us% The aused loo# disappears fro his fa$e a!d his e1pressio! $louds, his eyes dar#L oh my.
The ele*ator doors ope! o! the grou!d floor% Christia! sha#es his head slightly as if to $lear
his thoughts a!d gestures for e to e1it before hi i! a ost ge!tlea!ly a!!er%
#ho*s he (idding. 3es !o ge!tlea!% 3e has y pa!ties%
Taylor dra"s up i! the large &udi% Christia! ope!s the rear door for e, a!d 8 $lib i!side as
elega!tly as 8 $a!, $o!sideri!g y state of "a!to! u!dress% 8 grateful that Eates plu dress is so
$li!gy a!d ha!gs to the top of y #!ees%
We speed up the 894, both of us Buiet, !o doubt i!hibited by Taylors steady prese!$e i! the
fro!t% Christia!s ood is alost ta!gible a!d sees to shift, the huor dissipati!g slo"ly as "e
head !orth% 3es broodi!g, stari!g out of the "i!do", a!d 8 $a! feel hi slippi!g a"ay fro e%
What is he thi!#i!gI 8 $a!t as# hi% What $a! 8 say i! fro!t of TaylorI
GWhere did you lear! to da!$eIH 8 as# te!tati*ely% 3e tur!s to gaFe at e, his eyes u!readable
be!eath the i!teritte!t light of the passi!g street laps%
G<o you really "a!t to #!o"IH he replies softly%
=y heart si!#s, a!d !o" 8 do!t be$ause 8 $a! guess%
GJes,H 8 urur, relu$ta!tly%
G=rs% Dobi!so! "as fo!d of da!$i!g%H
/h, y "orst suspi$io!s $o!fired% She has taught hi "ell, a!d the thought depresses e C
theres !othi!g 8 $a! tea$h hi% 8 ha*e !o spe$ial s#ills%
GShe ust ha*e bee! a good tea$her%H
GShe "as,H he says softly%
=y s$alp pri$#les% <id she ha*e the best of hiI 0efore he be$ae so $losedI /r did she
bri!g hi out of hiselfI 3e has su$h a fu!, playful side% 8 sile i!*olu!tarily as 8 re$all bei!g i!
his ars as he spu! e arou!d his li*i!g roo, so u!e1pe$ted, a!d he has y pa!ties, soe"here%
&!d the! theres the Ded Doo of .ai!% 8 rub y "rists refle1i*ely C thi! strips of plasti$ "ill
do that to a girl% She taught hi all that too or rui!ed hi, depe!di!g o! o!es poi!t of *ie"% /r
perhaps he "ould ha*e fou!d his "ay there a!y"ay i! spite of =rs% D%
8 realiFe, i! that oe!t, that 8 hate her% 8 hope that 8 !e*er eet her be$ause 8 "ill !ot be
respo!sible for y a$tio!s if 8 do% 8 $a!t reeber e*er feeli!g this passio!ately about a!yo!e,
espe$ially soeo!e 8*e !e*er et% >aFi!g u!seei!g out of the "i!do", 8 !urse y irratio!al a!ger
a!d @ealousy%
=y i!d drifts ba$# to the after!oo!% >i*e! "hat 8 u!dersta!d of his prefere!$es, 8 thi!# hes
bee! easy o! e% #ould I do it again. 8 $a!t e*e! prete!d to put up a! argue!t agai!st that% /f
$ourse 8 "ould, if he as#ed e C as lo!g as he did!t hurt e a!d if its the o!ly "ay to be "ith hi%
Thats the botto li!e% 8 "a!t to be "ith hi% =y i!!er goddess sighs "ith relief% 8 rea$h the
$o!$lusio! that she rarely uses her brai! to thi!# but a!other *ital part of her a!atoy, a!d at the
oe!t, its a rather e1posed part%
G<o!t,H he ururs%
8 fro"! a!d tur! to loo# at hi%
G<o!t "hatIH 8 ha*e!t tou$hed hi%
G/*er9thi!# thi!gs, &!astasia%H Dea$hi!g out, he grasps y ha!d, dra"s it up to his lips, a!d
#isses y #!u$#les ge!tly% G8 had a "o!derful after!oo!% Tha!# you%H
&!d hes ba$# "ith e agai!% 8 bli!# up at hi a!d sile shyly% 3es so $o!fusi!g% 8 as# a
Buestio! thats bee! buggi!g e%
GWhy did you use a $able tieIH
3e gri!s at e%
G8ts Bui$#, its easy, a!d its soethi!g differe!t for you to feel a!d e1perie!$e% 8 #!o"
theyre Buite brutal, a!d 8 do li#e that i! a restrai!i!g de*i$e%H 3e siles at e ildly%
GAery effe$ti*e at #eepi!g you i! your pla$e%H
8 flush a!d gla!$e !er*ously at Taylor, "ho reai!s ipassi*e, eyes o! road% #hat am I
supposed to say to that. Christia! shrugs i!!o$e!tly%
G&ll part of y "orld, &!astasia%H 3e sBueeFes y ha!d a!d lets go, stari!g out of the
"i!do" agai!%
3is "orld i!deed, a!d 8 "a!t to belo!g i! it, but o! his tersI 8 @ust do!t #!o"% 3e has!t
e!tio!ed that da!ed $o!tra$t% =y i!!er usi!gs do !othi!g to $heer e% 8 stare out of the
"i!do" a!d the la!ds$ape has $ha!ged% Were $rossi!g o!e of the bridges, surrou!ded by i!#y
dar#!ess% The sober !ight refle$ts y i!trospe$ti*e ood, $losi!g i!, suffo$ati!g%
8 gla!$e briefly at Christia!, a!d hes stari!g at e%
G.e!!y for your thoughtsIH he as#s%
8 sigh a!d fro"!%
GThat bad, huhIH
G8 "ish 8 #!e" "hat you "ere thi!#i!g%H
3e sir#s at e%
G<itto, baby,H he says softly as Taylor speeds i!to the !ight to"ard 0elle*ue%
8t is @ust before eight "he! the &udi dra"s i!to the dri*e"ay of a $olo!ial9style a!sio!%
8ts breathta#i!g, e*e! do"! to the roses arou!d the door% .i$ture9boo# perfe$t%
G&re you ready for thisIH Christia! as#s as Taylor pulls up outside the ipressi*e fro!t door%
8 !od, a!d he gi*es y ha!d a!other reassuri!g sBueeFe%
GFirst for e too,H he "hispers, the! siles "i$#edly% G0et you "ish you "ere "eari!g your
u!der"ear right !o",H he teases%
8 flush% 8d forgotte! y issi!g pa!ties% Fortu!ately, Taylor has $libed out of the $ar a!d is
ope!i!g y door so he $a!t hear our e1$ha!ge% 8 s$o"l at Christia! "ho gri!s broadly as 8 tur! a!d
$lib out of the $ar%
<r% >ra$e Tre*elya!9>rey is o! the doorstep "aiti!g for us% She loo#s elega!tly sophisti$ated
i! a pale blue sil# dressP behi!d her sta!ds =r% >rey, 8 presue, tall, blo!d, a!d as ha!dsoe i! his
o"! "ay as Christia!%
G&!astasia, you*e et y other, >ra$e% This is y dad, Carri$#%H
G=r% >rey, "hat a pleasure to eet you%H 8 sile a!d sha#e his outstret$hed ha!d%
GThe pleasure is all i!e, &!astasia%H
G.lease $all e, &!a%H
3is blue eyes are soft a!d ge!tle%
G&!a, ho" lo*ely to see you agai!%H >ra$e "raps e i! a "ar hug% GCoe i!, y dear%H
G8s she hereIH 8 hear a s$ree$h fro "ithi! the house% 8 gla!$e !er*ously at Christia!%
GThat "ould be =ia, y little sister,H he says alost irritably, but !ot Buite%
Theres a! u!der$urre!t of affe$tio! i! his "ords, the "ay his *oi$e gro"s softer a!d his eyes
$ri!#le as he e!tio!s her !ae% Christia! ob*iously adores her% 8ts a re*elatio!%
&!d she $oes barreli!g do"! the hall, ra*e! haired, tall, a!d $ur*a$eous% Shes about y
age%
G&!astasiaK 8*e heard so u$h about you%H She hugs e hard%
7oly Cow. 8 $a!t help but sile at her bou!dless e!thusias%
G&!a, please,H 8 urur as she drags e i!to the large *estibule% 8ts all dar# "ood floors a!d
a!tiBue rugs "ith a s"eepi!g stair$ase to the se$o!d floor%
G3es !e*er brought a girl hoe before,H says =ia, dar# eyes bright "ith e1$itee!t%
8 glipse Christia! rolli!g his eyes, a!d 8 raise a! eyebro" at hi% 3e !arro"s his eyes at e%
G=ia, $al do"!,H >ra$e ado!ishes softly% G3ello, darli!g,H she says as she #isses Christia!
o! both $hee#s% 3e siles do"! at her "arly, a!d the! sha#es ha!ds "ith his father%
We all tur! a!d head i!to the li*i!g roo% =ia has !ot let go of y ha!d% The roo is
spa$ious, tastefully fur!ished i! $reas, bro"!s, a!d pale blue, $ofortable, u!derstated, a!d *ery
stylish% Eate a!d Elliot are $uddled together o! a $ou$h, $lut$hi!g $hapag!e flutes% Eate bou!$es
up to ebra$e e, a!d =ia fi!ally releases y ha!d%
G3i, &!aKH She beas% GChristia!%H She !ods $urtly to hi%
GEate%H 3e is eBually foral "ith her%
8 fro"! at their e1$ha!ge% Elliot grasps e i! a! all9ebra$i!g hug% What is this, hug &!a
"ee#I This daFFli!g display of affe$tio! C 8 @ust !ot used to it% Christia! sta!ds at y side,
"rappi!g his ar arou!d e% .la$i!g his ha!d o! y hip, he spreads out his fi!gers a!d pulls e
$lose% E*eryo!e is stari!g at us% 8ts u!!er*i!g%
G<ri!#sIH =r% >rey sees to re$o*er hiself% G.rose$$oIH
G.lease,H Christia! a!d 8 spea# i! u!iso!%
/hL this is beyo!d "eird% =ia $laps her ha!ds%
GJoure e*e! sayi!g the sae thi!gs% 8ll get the%H She s$oots out of the roo%
8 flush s$arlet, a!d seei!g Eate sitti!g "ith Elliot, it o$$urs to e sudde!ly that the o!ly
reaso! Christia! i!*ited e is be$ause Eate is here% Elliot probably freely a!d happily as#ed Eate to
eet his pare!ts% Christia! "as trapped C #!o"i!g that 8 "ould ha*e fou!d out *ia Eate% 8 fro"! at
the thought% 3es bee! for$ed i!to the i!*itatio!% The realiFatio! is blea# a!d depressi!g% =y
sub$o!s$ious !ods sagely, a you*e9fi!ally9"or#ed9it9out9stupid loo# o! her fa$e%
G<i!!ers alost ready,H >ra$e says as she follo"s =ia out of the roo%
Christia! fro"!s as he gaFes at e%
GSit,H he $oa!ds, poi!ti!g to the plush $ou$h, a!d 8 do as 8 told, $arefully $rossi!g y
legs% 3e sits do"! beside e but does!t tou$h e%
GWe "ere @ust tal#i!g about *a$atio!s, &!a,H =r% >rey says #i!dly% GElliot has de$ided to
follo" Eate a!d her faily to 0arbados for a "ee#%H
8 gla!$e at Eate, a!d she gri!s, her eyes bright a!d "ide% Shes delighted% Eatheri!e
Ea*a!agh, sho" soe dig!ityK
G&re you ta#i!g a brea# !o" you*e fi!ished your degreeIH =r% >rey as#s%
G8 thi!#i!g about goi!g to >eorgia for a fe" days,H 8 reply%
Christia! gapes at e, bli!#i!g a $ouple of ties, his e1pressio! u!readable% Oh shit.
8 ha*e!t e!tio!ed this to hi%
G>eorgiaIH he ururs%
G=y other li*es there, a!d 8 ha*e!t see! her for a "hile%H
GWhe! "ere you thi!#i!g of goi!gIH 3is *oi$e is lo"%
GToorro", late e*e!i!g%H
=ia sau!ters ba$# i!to the li*i!g roo a!d ha!ds us $hapag!e flutes filled "ith pale pi!#
.rose$$o%
GJour good healthKH =r% >rey raises his glass% &! appropriate toast fro a do$tors husba!d,
it a#es e sile%
GFor ho" lo!gIH Christia! as#s, his *oi$e de$epti*ely soft%
7oly crap0 he*s angry.
G8 do!t #!o" yet% 8t "ill depe!d ho" y i!ter*ie"s go toorro"%H
3is @a" $le!$hes, a!d Eate gets that i!terferi!g loo# o! her fa$e% She siles o*er9s"eetly%
G&!a deser*es a brea#,H she says poi!tedly at Christia!% Why is she so a!tago!isti$ to"ards
hiI What is her probleI
GJou ha*e i!ter*ie"sIH =r% >rey as#s%
GJes, for i!ter!ships at t"o publishers, toorro"%H
G8 "ish you the best of lu$#%H
G<i!!er is o! the table,H >ra$e a!!ou!$es%
We all sta!d% Eate a!d Elliot follo" =r% >rey a!d =ia out of the roo% 8 go to follo", but
Christia! $lut$hes y elbo", bri!gi!g e to a! abrupt halt%
GWhe! "ere you goi!g to tell e you "ere lea*i!gIH he as#s urge!tly% 3is to!e is soft, but
hes as#i!g his a!ger%
G8 !ot lea*i!g, 8 goi!g to see y other, a!d 8 "as o!ly thi!#i!g about it%H
GWhat about our arra!gee!tIH
GWe do!t ha*e a! arra!gee!t yet%H
3e !arro"s his eyes, a!d the! sees to reeber hiself% Deleasi!g y ha!d, he ta#es y
elbo" a!d leads e out of the roo%
GThis $o!*ersatio! is !ot o*er,H he "hispers threate!i!gly as "e e!ter the di!i!g roo%
/h, $rapola% <o!t get your pa!ties i! su$h a t"istL and gi6e me ,ac( mine. 8 glare at hi%
The di!i!g roo rei!ds e of our pri*ate di!!er at the 3eatha!% & $rystal $ha!delier
ha!gs o*er the dar# "ood table a!d theres a assi*e, or!ately $ar*ed irror o! the "all% The table
is laid a!d $o*ered "ith a $risp "hite li!e! table$loth, a bo"l of pale pi!# peo!ies as the $e!ter
pie$e% 8ts stu!!i!g%
We ta#e our pla$es% =r% >rey is at the head of the table, "hile 8 sit at his right ha!d, a!d
Christia! is seated beside e% =r% >rey rea$hes for the ope!ed bottle of red "i!e a!d offers soe to
Eate% =ia ta#es her seat beside Christia!, a!d grabbi!g his ha!d, sBueeFes it tightly% Christia!
siles "arly at her%
GWhere did you eet, &!aIH =ia as#s hi%
GShe i!ter*ie"ed e for the WS5 stude!t agaFi!e%H
GWhi$h Eate edits,H 8 add, hopi!g to steer the $o!*ersatio! a"ay fro e%
=ia beas at Eate, seated opposite !e1t to Elliot, a!d they start tal#i!g about the stude!t
agaFi!e%
GWi!e, &!aIH =r% >rey as#s%
G.lease%H 8 sile at hi% =r% >rey rises to fill the rest of the glasses%
8 pee# up at Christia!, a!d he tur!s to loo# at e, his head $o$#ed to o!e side%
GWhatIH he as#s%
G.lease do!t be ad at e,H 8 "hisper%
G8 !ot ad at you%H
8 stare at hi% 3e sighs%
GJes, 8 a ad at you%H 3e $loses his eyes briefly%
G.al9t"it$hi!gly adIH 8 as# !er*ously%
GWhat are you t"o "hisperi!g aboutIH Eate i!ter@e$ts%
8 flush, a!d Christia! glares at her i! a butt9out9of9this9Ea*a!agh #i!d of "ay C e*e! Eate
"ilts u!der his stare%
GJust about y trip to >eorgia,H 8 say s"eetly, hopi!g to diffuse their utual hostility%
Eate siles, a "i$#ed glea i! her eye%
G3o" "as JosNO222P "he! you "e!t to the bar "ith hi o! FridayIH
7oly fuc( !ate. 8 "ide! y eyes at her% What is she doi!gI She "ide!s her eyes ba$# at e,
a!d 8 realiFe shes tryi!g to a#e Christia! @ealous% 7ow little she (nows. 8 thought 8d got a"ay
"ith this%
G3e "as fi!e,H 8 urur%
Christia! lea!s o*er%
G.al9t"it$hi!gly ad,H he "hispers% GEspe$ially !o"%H 3is to!e is Buiet a!d deadly%
Oh no % 8 sBuir%
>ra$e reappears $arryi!g t"o plates, follo"ed by a pretty you!g "oa! "ith blo!de pigtails,
dressed sartly i! pale blue, $arryi!g a tray of plates% 3er eyes iediately fi!d Christia! i! the
roo% She blushes a!d gaFes at hi fro u!der her lo!g as$arad lashes%
#hat&
Soe"here i! the house the pho!e starts ri!gi!g%
GE1$use e,H =r% >rey rises agai! a!d e1its%
GTha!# you, >ret$he!,H >ra$e says ge!tly, fro"!i!g as =r% >rey e1its% GJust lea*e the tray o!
the $o!sole%H >ret$he! !ods, a!d "ith a!other furti*e gla!$e at Christia!, she lea*es%
So the >reys ha*e staff, a!d the staff are eyei!g up my "ould9be <oi!a!t% Ca! this e*e!i!g
get a!y "orseI 8 s$o"l at y ha!ds i! y lap%
=r% >rey retur!s%
GCall for you, darli!g% 8ts the hospital,H he says to >ra$e%
G.lease start, e*eryo!e%H >ra$e siles as she ha!ds e a plate a!d lea*es%
8t sells deli$ious C $horiFo a!d s$allops "ith roasted red peppers a!d shallots, spri!#led "ith
flat leafed parsley% &!d i! spite of the fa$t that y stoa$h is $hur!i!g fro Christia!s *eiled
threats, the surreptitious gla!$es fro pretty little =iss .igtails, a!d the deba$le of y issi!g
u!der"ear, 8 a star*i!g% 8 flush as 8 realiFe its the physi$al effort of this after!oo! thats gi*e! e
su$h a! appetite%
=oe!ts later >ra$e retur!s, her bro" furro"ed% =r% >rey $o$#s his head to o!e sideL li#e
Christia!%
GE*erythi!g o#ayIH
G&!other easles $ase,H >ra$e sighs%
G/h !o%H
GJes, a $hild% The fourth $ase this o!th% 8f o!ly people "ould get their #ids *a$$i9!ated%H
She sha#es her head sadly, a!d the! siles% G8 so glad our $hildre! !e*er "e!t through that% They
!e*er $aught a!ythi!g "orse tha! $hi$#e! po1, tha!# good!ess% .oor Elliot,H she says as she sits
do"!, sili!g i!dulge!tly at her so!% Elliot fro"!s id $he" a!d sBuirs u!$ofortably%
GChristia! a!d =ia "ere lu$#y% They got it so ildly, o!ly a spot to share bet"ee! the%H
=ia giggles, a!d Christia! rolls his eyes%
GSo, did you $at$h the =ari!ers gae, <adIH Elliots $learly #ee! to o*e the $o!*ersatio!
o!%
The hors doeu*res are deli$ious, a!d 8 $o!$e!trate o! eati!g "hile Elliot, =r% >rey, a!d
Christia! tal# baseball% Christia! sees rela1ed a!d $al tal#i!g to his faily% =y i!d is "or#i!g
furiously% <a! Eate, "hat gae is she playi!gI #ill he punish me. 8 Buail at the thought% 8
ha*e!t sig!ed that $o!tra$t yet% .erhaps 8 "o!t% .erhaps 8ll stay i! >eorgia "here he $a!t rea$h
e%
G3o" are you settli!g i!to your !e" aparte!t dearIH >ra$e as#s politely%
8 grateful for her Buestio!, distra$ti!g e fro y dis$orda!t thoughts, a!d 8 tell her about
our o*e%
&s "e fi!ish our starters, >ret$he! appears, a!d !ot for the first tie, 8 "ish 8 felt able to put
y ha!ds freely o! Christia! @ust to let her #!o" C he ay be fifty shades of fu$#ed9up, but hes
i!e% She pro$eeds to $lear the table, brushi!g rather too $losely to Christia! for y li#i!g%
Fortu!ately, he sees obli*ious to her, but y i!!er goddess is solderi!g a!d !ot i! a good "ay%
Eate a!d =ia are "a1i!g lyri$al about .aris%
G3a*e you bee! to .aris, &!aIH =ia as#s i!!o$e!tly, distra$ti!g e fro y @ealous re*erie%
G+o, but 8d lo*e to go%H 8 #!o" 8 the o!ly o!e at the table "ho has !e*er left ai!la!d
5S&%
GWe ho!eyoo!ed i! .aris%H >ra$e siles at =r% >rey "ho gri!s ba$# at her%
8ts alost ebarrassi!g to "it!ess% They ob*iously lo*e ea$h other deeply, a!d 8 "o!der for
a brief oe!t "hat it ust be li#e to gro" up "ith both o!es pare!ts i! situ%
G8ts a beautiful $ity,H =ia agrees% G8! spite of the .arisia!s% Christia!, you should ta#e &!a to
.aris,H =ia states firly%
G8 thi!# &!astasia "ould prefer Lo!do!,H Christia! says softly%
Oh0 he remem,ered. 3e pla$es his ha!d o! y #!ee C his fi!gers tra*eli!g up y thigh%
=y "hole body tighte!s i! respo!se% "o0 not here not now. 8 flush a!d shift, tryi!g to pull a"ay
fro hi% 3is ha!d $laps do"! o! y thigh, stilli!g e% 8 rea$h for y "i!e, i! desperatio!%
Little =iss Europea! .igtails retur!s, all $oy gla!$es a!d s"ayi!g hips, "ith our e!9
trNO222Pe, a 0eef Welli!gto!, 8 thi!#% Fortu!ately, she gi*es us our plates a!d the! lea*es, although
she li!gers ha!di!g Christia! his% 3e loo#s BuiFFi$ally at e as 8 "at$h her $lose the di!i!g roo
door%
GSo "hat "as "ro!g "ith the .arisia!sIH Elliot as#s his sister% G<id!t they ta#e to your
"i!soe "aysIH
G5gh, !o they did!t% &!d =o!sieur Floubert, the ogre 8 "as "or#i!g for, he "as su$h a
doi!eeri!g tyra!t%H
8 splutter i!to y "i!e%
G&!astasia, are you o#ayIH Christia! as#s soli$itously, ta#i!g his ha!d off y thigh%
3uor has retur!ed to his *oi$e% Oh than( hea6ens. Whe! 8 !od, he pats y ba$# ge!tly,
a!d o!ly reo*es his ha!d "he! he #!o"s 8*e re$o*ered%
The beef is deli$ious a!d ser*ed "ith roasted s"eet potatoes, $arrots, pars!ips, a!d gree!
bea!s% 8t is e*e! ore palatable si!$e Christia! a!ages to retai! his good9huor for the rest of the
eal% 8 suspe$t that its be$ause 8 eati!g so heartily% The $o!*ersatio! flo"s freely ao!g the
>reys, "ar a!d $ari!g, ge!tly teasi!g ea$h other% /*er our dessert of leo! syllabub, =ia regales
us "ith her e1ploits i! .aris, lapsi!g at o!e poi!t i!to flue!t Fre!$h% We all stare at her, a!d she
stares ba$# puFFled, u!til Christia! tells her i! eBually flue!t Fre!$h "hat shes do!e, "hereupo!
she bursts i!to a fit of giggles% She has a *ery i!fe$tious laugh a!d soo! "ere all i! stit$hes%
Elliot holds forth about his latest buildi!g pro@e$t, a !e" e$o9frie!dly $ou!ity to the !orth
of Seattle% 8 gla!$e up at Eate, a!d shes ha!gi!g o! e*ery "ord Elliot says, her eyes glo"i!g "ith
lust or lo*e% 8 ha*e!t Buite "or#ed out "hi$h yet% 3e gri!s do"! at her, a!d its as if a! u!spo#e!
proise passes bet"ee! the% Gaters ,a,y hes sayi!g, a!d its hot, frea#i!g hot% 8 flush @ust
"at$hi!g the%
8 sigh a!d pee# up at Fifty Shades% 3es so beautiful, 8 $ould stare at hi fore*er% 3e has light
stubble o*er his $hi!, a!d y fi!gers it$h to s$rat$h it a!d feel it agai!st y fa$e, agai!st y
breastsL bet"ee! y thighs% 8 blush at the dire$tio! of y thoughts% 3e peers do"! at e a!d
raises his ha!d to pull at y $hi!%
G<o!t bite your lip,H he ururs hus#ily% G8 "a!t to do that%H
>ra$e a!d =ia $lear our dessert glasses a!d head to the #it$he!, "hile =r% >rey, Eate, a!d
Elliot dis$uss the erits of solar pa!els i! Washi!gto! State% Christia!, feig!i!g i!terest i! their
$o!*ersatio!, puts his ha!d o!$e ore o! y #!ee, a!d his fi!gers tra*el up y thigh% =y breathi!g
hit$hes, a!d 8 press y thighs together i! a bid to halt his progress% 8 $a! see hi sir#%
GShall 8 gi*e you a tour of the grou!dsIH he as#s e Buite ope!ly%
8 #!o" 8 ea!t to say yes, but 8 do!t trust hi% 0efore 8 $a! a!s"er ho"e*er, hes o! his
feet a!d holdi!g his ha!d out to e% 8 pla$e y ha!d i! his, a!d 8 feel all the us$les $le!$h deep i!
y belly, respo!di!g to his dar#, hu!gry gray gaFe%
GE1$use e,H 8 say to =r% >rey a!d follo" Christia! out of the di!i!g roo%
3e leads e through the hall"ay a!d i!to the #it$he! "here =ia a!d >ra$e are sta$#9i!g the
dish"asher% Europea! .igtails is !o"here to be see!%
G8 goi!g to sho" &!astasia the ba$#yard,H Christia! says i!!o$e!tly to his other%
She "a*es us out "ith a sile as =ia heads ba$# to the di!i!g roo%
We step out o!to a grey flagsto!e patio area lit by re$essed lights i! the flagsto!es%
There are shrubs i! grey sto!e tubs a!d a $hi$ etal table a!d $hairs set up i! o!e $or!er%
Christia! "al#s past those, up soe steps, a!d o!to a *ast la"! that leads do"! to the bayL
oh y C its beautiful% Seattle t"i!#les o! the horiFo!, a!d the $ool, bright, =ay oo! et$hes a
spar#li!g sil*er path a$ross the "ater to"ard a @etty "here t"o boats are oored% 0eside the @etty
sta!ds a boathouse% 8t is so pi$turesBue, so pea$eful% 8 sta!d a!d gape for a oe!t%
Christia! pulls e behi!d hi, a!d y heels si!# i!to the soft grass%
GStop, please%H 8 a stubli!g i! his "a#e%
3e stops a!d gaFes at e, his e1pressio! u!fathoable%
G=y heels% 8 !eed to ta#e y shoes off%H
G<o!t bother,H he says, a!d he be!ds do"! a!d s$oops e o*er his shoulder% 8 sBueal loudly
"ith sho$#ed surprise, a!d he gi*es e a ri!gi!g slap o! y behi!d%
GEeep your *oi$e do"!,H he gro"ls%
Oh no0 this is not good y sub$o!s$ious is Bua#i!g at the #!ees% 3es ad about
soethi!g C $ould be JosNO222P, >eorgia, !o pa!ties, biti!g y lip% JeeF, hes easy to rile%
GWhere are "e goi!gIH 8 breathe%
G0oathouse,H he s!aps%
8 ha!g o! to his hips as 8 tipped upside9do"!, a!d he strides purposefully i! the oo!light
a$ross the la"!%
GWhyIH 8 sou!d breathless, bou!$i!g o! this shoulder%
G8 !eed to be alo!e "ith you%H
GWhat forIH
G0e$ause 8 goi!g to spa!# a!d the! fu$# you%H
GWhyIH 8 "hiper softly%
GJou #!o" "hy,H he hisses%
G8 thought you "ere a! i!9the9oe!t guyIH 8 plead breathlessly%
G&!astasia, 8 i! the oe!t, trust e%H
7oly fuc(.
Christia! bursts through the "oode! door of the boathouse a!d pauses to fli$# o! soe lights%
Fluores$e!ts pi!g a!d buFF i! seBue!$e as harsh "hite light floods the large "oode! buildi!g% Fro
y upside9do"! *ie", 8 $a! see a! ipressi*e otor lau!$h i! the do$# floati!g ge!tly o! the dar#
"ater, but 8 o!ly get a brief loo# before hes $arryi!g e up soe "oode! stairs to the roo abo*e%
3e pauses at the door"ay a!d tou$hes a!other s"it$h C haloge!s this tie, they are softer, o!
a dier C a!d "ere i! a! atti$ roo "ith slopi!g $eili!gs% 8ts de$orated "ith a !auti$al +e"
E!gla!d thee: !a*y blues a!d $reas "ith a dash of red% The fur!ishi!gs are sparse, @ust a $ouple
of $ou$hes are all 8 $a! see%
Christia! sets e o! y feet o! the "oode! floor% 8 do!t ha*e tie to e1ai!e y
surrou!di!gs C y eyes $a!t lea*e hi% 8 a eseriFedL "at$hi!g hi li#e o!e "ould "at$h a
rare a!d da!gerous predator, "aiti!g for hi to stri#e% 3is breathi!g is harsh but the! hes @ust
$arried e a$ross the la"! a!d up a flight of stairs% >ray eyes blaFe "ith a!ger, !eed, a!d pure
u!adulterated lust%
7oly shit. 8 $ould spo!ta!eously $obust fro his loo# alo!e%
G.lease do!t hit e,H 8 "hisper, pleadi!g%
3is bro" furro"s, his eyes "ide!i!g% 3e bli!#s t"i$e%
G8 do!t "a!t you to spa!# e, !ot here, !ot !o"% .lease do!t%H
3is outh drops ope! slightly i! surprise, a!d beyo!d bra*e, 8 te!tati*ely rea$h up a!d ru!
y fi!gers do"! his $hee#, alo!g the edge of his sidebur!, to the stubble o! his $hi!%
8ts a $urious i1ture of soft a!d pri$#ly% Slo"ly $losi!g his eyes, he lea!s his fa$e i!to y
tou$h, a!d his breath hit$hes i! his throat% Dea$hi!g up "ith y other ha!d, 8 ru! y fi!gers i!to
his hair% 8 lo*e his hair% 3is soft oa! is barely audible, a!d "he! he ope!s his eyes, his loo# is C
"ary, li#e he does!t u!dersta!d "hat 8 doi!g%
Steppi!g for"ard so 8 a flush agai!st hi, 8 pull ge!tly o! his hair, bri!gi!g his outh do"!
to i!e, a!d 8 #iss hi, for$i!g y to!gue bet"ee! his lips a!d i!to his outh% 3e groa!s, a!d his
ars ebra$e e, pulli!g e to hi% 3is ha!ds fi!d their "ay i!to y hair, a!d he #isses e ba$#,
hard a!d possessi*e% 3is to!gue a!d y to!gue t"ist a!d tur! together, $o!sui!g ea$h other% 3e
tastes di*i!e%
3e pulls ba$# sudde!ly, our $olle$ti*e breathi!g ragged a!d i!gli!g% =y ha!ds drop to his
ars a!d he glares do"! at e%
GWhat are you doi!g to eIH he "hispers $o!fused%
GEissi!g you%H
GJou said !o%H
GWhatIH "o to what.
G&t the di!!er table, "ith your legs%H
Oh0 that*s what this is all a,out.
G0ut "e "ere at your pare!ts di!i!g table%H 8 stare up at hi, $opletely be"ildered%
G+o o!es e*er said !o to e before% &!d its so C hot%H
3is eyes "ide! slightly, filled "ith "o!der a!d lust% 8ts a heady i1% 8 s"allo" i!sti!$ti*ely%
3is ha!d o*es do"! to y behi!d% 3e pulls e sharply agai!st hi, a!d 8 $a! feel his ere$tio!%
Oh my0
GJoure ad a!d tur!ed o! be$ause 8 said !oIH 8 breathe, asto!ished%
G8 ad be$ause you !e*er e!tio!ed >eorgia to e% 8 ad be$ause you "e!t dri!#i!g
"ith that guy "ho tried to sedu$e you "he! you "ere dru!# a!d "ho left you "he! you "ere ill
"ith a! alost $oplete stra!ger% What #i!d of frie!d does thatI &!d 8 ad a!d aroused be$ause
you $losed your legs o! e%H 3is eyes glitter da!gerously, a!d hes slo"ly i!$hi!g up the he of
y dress%
G8 "a!t you, a!d 8 "a!t you !o"% &!d if youre !ot goi!g to let e spa!# you C "hi$h you
deser*e C 8 goi!g to fu$# you o! the $ou$h this i!ute, Bui$#ly, for y pleasure, !ot yours%H
=y dress is !o" barely $o*eri!g y !a#ed behi!d% 3e o*es sudde!ly so that his ha!d is
$uppi!g y se1, a!d o!e of his fi!gers si!#s slo"ly i!to e% 3is other ar holds e firly i! pla$e
arou!d y "aist% 8 suppress y oa!%
GThis is i!e,H he "hispers aggressi*ely% G&ll i!e% <o you u!dersta!dIH 3e eases his fi!ger
i! a!d out as he gaFes do"! at e, gaugi!g y rea$tio!, his eyes bur!i!g%
GJes, yours,H 8 breathe as y desire, hot a!d hea*y, surges through y bloodstrea,
affe$ti!gL e*erythi!g% =y !er*e e!di!gs, y breathi!g, y heart is pou!di!g, tryi!g to lea*e y
$hest, the blood thrui!g i! y ears%
&bruptly, he o*es, doi!g se*eral thi!gs at o!$e% Withdra"i!g his fi!gers, lea*i!g e
"a!ti!g, u!Fippi!g his fly, a!d pushi!g e do"! o!to the $ou$h so hes lyi!g o! top of e%
G3a!ds o! your head,H he $oa!ds through gritted teeth as he #!eels up, for$i!g y legs
"ider, a!d rea$hi!g i!to the i!side po$#et of his @a$#et% 3e ta#es out a foil pa$#et, gaFi!g do"! at
e, his e1pressio! dar#, before shruggi!g off his @a$#et so it falls to the floor% 3e rolls the $o!do
do"! o*er his ipressi*e le!gth%
8 pla$e y ha!ds o! y head, a!d 8 #!o" its so 8 "o!t tou$h hi% 8 so tur!ed o!%
8 feel y hips o*i!g already up to eet hi C "a!ti!g hi i!side e, li#e this C rough a!d
hard% /hL the a!ti$ipatio!%
GWe do!t ha*e lo!g% This "ill be Bui$#, a!d its for e, !ot you% <o you u!dersta!dI
<o!t $oe, or 8 "ill spa!# you,H he says through $le!$hed teeth%
7oly crap0 how do I stop.
With o!e s"ift thrust, hes fully i!side e% 8 groa! loudly, gutturally, a!d re*el i! the full!ess
of his possessio!% 3e puts his ha!ds o! i!e o! top of y head, his elbo"s hold y ars out a!d
do"!, a!d his legs pi!io! e% 8 a trapped% 3es e*ery"here, o*er"heli!g e, alost
suffo$ati!g% 0ut its hea*e!ly too, this is y po"er, this is "hat 8 do to hi, a!d its a hedo!isti$,
triupha!t feeli!g% 3e o*es Bui$#ly a!d furiously i!side e, his breathi!g harsh at y ear, a!d
y body respo!ds, elti!g arou!d hi% I mustn*t come. +o% 0ut 8 eeti!g hi thrust for thrust,
a perfe$t $ou!terpoi!t% &bruptly, a!d all too soo!, he ras i!to e a!d stills as he fi!ds his release,
air hissi!g through his teeth%
3e rela1es oe!tarily, so 8 feel his e!tire, deli$ious "eight o! e% 8 !ot ready to let hi
go, y body $ra*i!g relief, but hes so hea*y, a!d i! that oe!t, 8 $a!t push agai!st hi% &ll of a
sudde!, he "ithdra"s, lea*i!g e a$hi!g a!d hu!gry for ore% 3e glares do"! at e%
G<o!t tou$h yourself% 8 "a!t you frustrated% Thats "hat you do to e by !ot tal#i!g to e,
by de!yi!g e "hats i!e%H 3is eyes blaFe a!e", a!gry agai!%
8 !od, pa!ti!g% 3e sta!ds a!d reo*es the $o!do, #!otti!g it at the e!d, a!d puts it i! his
pa!ts po$#et% 8 gaFe at hi, y breathi!g still errati$, a!d i!*olu!tarily 8 sBueeFe y thighs
together, tryi!g to fi!d soe relief% Christia! does up his fly a!d ru!s his ha!d through his hair as he
rea$hes do"! to $olle$t his @a$#et% 3e tur!s ba$# to gaFe do"! at e, his e1pressio! softer%
GWed better get ba$# to the house%H
8 sit up, a little u!steadily, daFed%
G3ere% Jou ay put these o!%H
Fro his i!side po$#et, he produ$es y pa!ties% 8 do!t gri! as 8 ta#e the fro hi, but
i!side 8 #!o" C 8*e ta#e! a pu!ishe!t fu$# but gai!ed a sall *i$tory o*er the pa!ties% =y i!!er
goddess !ods i! agreee!t, a satisfied gri! o*er her fa$e C )ou didn*t ha6e to as( for them.
GC3D8ST8&+KH =ia shouts fro the floor belo"%
3e tur!s a!d raises his eyebro"s at e%
GJust i! tie% Christ, she $a! be really irritati!g%H
8 s$o"l ba$# at hi, hastily restore y pa!ties to their rightful pla$e, a!d sta!d "ith as u$h
dig!ity as 8 $a! uster i! y @ust9fu$#ed state% Qui$#ly, 8 attept to sooth y @ust9fu$#ed hair%
G5p here, =ia,H he $alls do"!% GWell, =iss Steele, 8 feel better for that C but 8 still "a!t to
spa!# you,H he says softly%
G8 do!t belie*e 8 deser*e it =r% >rey, espe$ially after tolerati!g your u!pro*o#ed atta$#%H
G5!pro*o#edI Jou #issed e%H 3e tries his best to loo# "ou!ded%
8 purse y lips%
G8t "as atta$# as the best for of defe!se%H
G<efe!se agai!st "hatIH
GJou a!d your t"it$hy pal%H
3e $o$#s his head to o!e side a!d siles at e as =ia $oes $latteri!g up the stairs%
G0ut it "as tolerableIH he as#s softly%
8 flush%
G0arely,H 8 "hisper, but 8 $a!t help y sir#%
G/h, there you are%H She beas at us%
G8 "as sho"i!g &!astasia arou!d%H Christia! holds his ha!d out to e, his gray eyes i!te!se%
8 put y ha!d i!to his, a!d he gi*es it a soft sBueeFe%
GEate a!d Elliot are about to lea*e% Ca! you belie*e those t"oI They $a!t #eep their ha!ds
off ea$h other%H =ia feig!s disgust a!d loo#s fro Christia! to e% GWhat ha*e you bee! doi!g i!
hereIH
JeeF, shes for"ard% 8 blush s$arlet%
GSho"i!g &!astasia y ro"i!g trophies,H Christia! says "ithout issi!g a beat, $opletely
po#er9fa$ed% GLets go say goodbye to Eate a!d Elliot%H
Rowing trophies. 3e pulls e ge!tly i! fro!t of hi, a!d as =ia tur!s to go, he s"ats y
behi!d% 8 gasp i! surprise%
G8 "ill do it agai!, &!astasia, a!d soo!,H he threate!s Buietly $lose to y ear, the! he pulls e
i!to a! ebra$e, y ba$# to his fro!t, a!d #isses y hair%
0a$# i! the house, Eate a!d Elliot are a#i!g their fare"ells to >ra$e a!d =r% >rey% Eate
hugs e hard%
G8 !eed to spea# to you about a!tago!iFi!g Christia!,H 8 hiss Buietly i! her ear as she
ebra$es e%
G3e !eeds a!tago!iFi!g, the! you $a! see "hat hes really li#e% 0e $areful, &!a C hes so
$o!trolli!g,H she "hispers% GSee you later%H
I !"O# #7A1 78*% R8AGG) GI!8 2 )O5 4O"*1& C 8 s$rea at her i! y head%
8 fully a"are that her a$tio!s $oe fro a good pla$e, but soeties she @ust o*ersteps the
ar#, a!d right !o" so far that shes i!to the !eighbori!g state% 8 s$o"l at her, a!d she po#es her
to!gue out at e, a#i!g e sile u!"illi!gly% .layful Eate is !o*el, ust be Elliots i!flue!$e%
We "a*e the off at the door"ay, a!d Christia! tur!s to e%
GWe should go too C you ha*e i!ter*ie"s toorro"%H
=ia ebra$es e "arly as "e say our goodbyes%
GWe !e*er thought hed fi!d a!yo!eKH she gushes%
8 flush, a!d Christia! rolls his eyes agai!% 8 purse y lips% Why $a! he do that "he! 8 $a!tI 8
"a!t to roll y eyes ba$# at hi, but 8 do !ot dare, !ot after his threat i! the boathouse%
GTa#e $are of yourself, &!a, dear,H >ra$e says #i!dly%
Christia!, ebarrassed or frustrated by the la*ish atte!tio! 8 re$ei*i!g fro the reai!i!g
>reys, grabs y ha!d a!d pulls e to his side%
GLets !ot frighte! her a"ay or spoil her "ith too u$h affe$tio!,H he grubles%
GChristia!, stop teasi!g%H >ra$e s$olds hi i!dulge!tly, her eyes glo"i!g "ith lo*e a!d
affe$tio! for hi%
Soeho", 8 do!t thi!# hes teasi!g% 8 surreptitiously "at$h their i!tera$tio!% 8ts ob*ious
>ra$e adores hi "ith a others u!$o!ditio!al lo*e% 3e be!ds a!d #isses her stiffly%
G=o,H he says, a!d theres a! u!der$urre!t i! his *oi$e C re*ere!$e aybeI
G=r% >rey C goodbye a!d tha!# you%H 8 hold out y ha!d to hi, a!d he hugs e tooK
G.lease, $all e Carri$#% 8 do hope "e see you agai!, *ery soo!, &!a%H
/ur fare"ells said, Christia! leads e to the $ar "here Taylor is "aiti!g% 7as he ,een waiting
here the whole time. Taylor ope!s y door, a!d 8 slide i!to the ba$# of the &udi%
8 feel soe of the te!sio! lea*i!g y shoulders% JeeF, "hat a day% 8 a e1hausted, physi$ally
a!d eotio!ally% &fter a brief $o!*ersatio! "ith Taylor, Christia! $labers i!to the $ar beside e%
3e tur!s to fa$e e%
GWell, it sees y faily li#es you, too,H he ururs%
1oo. The depressi!g thought about ho" 8 $ae to be i!*ited pops u!bidde! a!d *ery
u!"el$oe i!to y head% Taylor starts the $ar a!d heads a"ay fro the $ir$le of light i! the
dri*e"ay to the dar#!ess of the road% 8 gaFe at Christia!, a!d hes stari!g at e%
GWhatIH he as#s, his *oi$e Buiet%
8 flou!der oe!tarily% +o C 8ll tell hi% 3es al"ays $oplai!i!g that 8 do!t tal# to hi%
G8 thi!# that you felt trapped i!to bri!gi!g e to eet your pare!ts%H =y *oi$e is soft a!d
hesita!t% G8f Elliot had!t as#ed Eate, youd !e*er ha*e as#ed e%H 8 $a!t see his fa$e i! the dar#,
but he tilts his head, gapi!g at e%
G&!astasia, 8 delighted that you*e et y pare!ts% Why are you so filled "ith self9doubtI
8t !e*er $eases to aaFe e% Joure su$h a stro!g, self9$o!tai!ed you!g "oa!, but you ha*e su$h
!egati*e thoughts about yourself% 8f 8 had!t "a!ted you to eet the, you "ould!t be here% 8s that
ho" you "ere feeli!g the "hole tie you "ere thereIH
Oh& 3e "a!ted e there C a!d its a re*elatio!% 3e does!t see u!$ofortable a!s"eri!g
e as he "ould if he "ere hidi!g the truth% 3e sees ge!ui!ely pleased that 8 hereL a "ar
glo" spreads slo"ly through y *ei!s% 3e sha#es his head a!d rea$hes for y ha!d% 8 gla!$e
!er*ously at Taylor%
G<o!t "orry about Taylor% Tal# to e%H
8 shrug%
GJes% 8 thought that% &!d a!other thi!g, 8 o!ly e!tio!ed >eorgia be$ause Eate "as tal#i!g
about 0arbados C 8 ha*e!t ade up y i!d%H
G<o you "a!t to go a!d see your otherIH
GJes%H
3e loo#s oddly at e, li#e hes ha*i!g soe i!ter!al struggle%
GCa! 8 $oe "ith youIH he as#s e*e!tually%
#hat&.
GErL 8 do!t thi!# thats a good idea%H
GWhy !otIH
G8 "as hopi!g for a brea# fro all thisL i!te!sity to try a!d thi!# thi!gs through%H
3e stares at e%
G8 too i!te!seIH
8 burst out laughi!g%
GThats putti!g it ildlyKH
8! the light of the passi!g street laps, 8 see his lips Buir# up%
G&re you laughi!g at e, =iss SteeleIH
G8 "ould!t dare, =r% >rey,H 8 reply "ith o$# serious!ess%
G8 thi!# you dare, a!d 8 thi!# you do laugh at e, freBue!tly%H
GJou are Buite fu!!y%H
GFu!!yIH
G/h yes%H
GFu!!y pe$uliar or fu!!y ha haIH
G/hL a lot of o!e a!d soe of the other%H
GWhi$h "ay rou!dIH
G8ll lea*e you to figure that out%H
G8 !ot sure if 8 $a! figure a!ythi!g out arou!d you, &!astasia,H he says sardo!i$ally, a!d
the! $o!ti!ues Buietly, GWhat do you !eed to thi!# about i! >eorgiaIH
G5s,H 8 "hisper%
3e stares at e, ipassi*e%
GJou said youd try,H he ururs%
G8 #!o"%H
G&re you ha*i!g se$o!d thoughtsIH
G.ossibly%H
3e shifts as if u!$ofortable%
GWhyIH
7oly crap. 3o" did this sudde!ly be$oe su$h a! i!te!se a!d ea!i!gful $o!*ersatio!I 8ts
bee! spru!g o! e, li#e a! e1a that 8 !ot prepared for% What do 8 sayI 0e$ause 8 thi!# 8 lo*e
you, a!d you @ust see e as a toy% 0e$ause 8 $a!t tou$h you, be$ause 8 too frighte!ed to sho"
you a!y affe$tio! i! $ase you fli!$h or tell e off or "orse C
beat eI What $a! 8 sayI
8 stare oe!tarily out of the "i!do"% The $ar is headi!g ba$# a$ross the bridge% We are both
shrouded i! dar#!ess, as#i!g our thoughts a!d feeli!gs, but "e do!t !eed the !ight for that%
GWhy, &!astasiaIH Christia! presses e for a! a!s"er%
8 shrug, trapped% 8 do!t "a!t to lose hi% 8! spite of all his dea!ds, his !eed to $o!trol, his
s$ary *i$es% 8 ha*e !e*er felt as ali*e as 8 do !o"% 8ts a thrill to be sitti!g here beside hi% 3es so
u!predi$table, se1y, sart, a!d fu!!y% 0ut his oodsL oh C a!d he "a!ts to hurt e% 3e says hell
thi!# about y reser*atio!s, but it still s$ares e% 8 $lose y eyes% What $a! 8 sayI <eep do"! 8
"ould @ust li#e ore, ore affe$tio!, ore playful Christia!, oreL lo*e%
3e sBueeFes y ha!d%
GTal# to e, &!astasia% 8 do!t "a!t to lose you% This last "ee#L H 3e trails off%
Were $oi!g !ear to the e!d of the bridge, a!d the road is o!$e ore bathed i! the !eo! light
of the street laps so his fa$e is i!teritte!tly i! the light a!d the dar#% &!d its su$h a fitti!g
etaphor% This a!, "ho 8 o!$e thought of as a roa!ti$ hero C a bra*e shi!i!g "hite #!ight, or
the dar# #!ight as he said% 3es !ot a hero, hes a a! "ith serious, deep eotio!al fla"s, a!d hes
draggi!g e i!to the dar#% Ca! 8 !ot guide hi i!to the lightI
G8 still "a!t ore,H 8 "hisper%
G8 #!o",H he says% G8ll try%H
8 bli!# up at hi, a!d he reli!Buishes y ha!d a!d pulls at y $hi!, releasi!g y trapped lip%
GFor you, &!astasia, 8 "ill try%H 3es radiati!g si!$erity%
&!d thats y $ue% 8 u!bu$#le y seatbelt, rea$h a$ross, a!d $laber i!to his lap, ta#i!g hi
$opletely by surprise% Wrappi!g y ars arou!d his head, 8 #iss hi, lo!g a!d hard, a!d i! a
!a!ose$o!d, hes respo!di!g%
GStay "ith e, to!ight,H he breathes% G8f you go a"ay, 8 "o!t see you all "ee#%
.lease%H
GJes,H 8 a$Buies$e% G&!d 8ll try too% 8ll sig! your $o!tra$t%H &!d its a spur of the oe!t
de$isio!%
3e gaFes do"! at e%
GSig! after >eorgia% Thi!# about it% Thi!# about it hard, baby%H
G8 "ill%H &!d "e sit i! sile!$e for a ile or t"o%
GJou really should "ear your seatbelt,H Christia! "hispers disappro*i!gly i!to y hair, but
he a#es !o o*e to shift e fro his lap%
8 !uFFle up agai!st hi, eyes $losed, y !ose at his throat, dri!#i!g i! his se1y Christia!9a!d9
spi$ed9us#y9body9"ash fragra!$e, y head o! his shoulder% 8 let y i!d drift, a!d 8 allo"
yself to fa!tasiFe that he lo*es e% /h, a!d its so real, ta!gible alost, a!d a sall part of y
!asty harpy self9$o!s$ious a$ts $opletely out of $hara$ter a!d dares to hope. 8 $areful !ot to
tou$h his $hest but @ust s!uggle i! his ars as he holds e tightly%
&ll too soo!, 8 tor! fro y ipossible daydrea%
GWere hoe,H Christia! ururs, a!d its su$h a ta!taliFi!g se!te!$e, full of so u$h
pote!tial .
7ome with Christian. E1$ept his aparte!t is a! art gallery, !ot a hoe%
Taylor ope!s the door for us, a!d 8 tha!# hi shyly, a"are that hes bee! "ithi! earshot of our
$o!*ersatio!, but his #i!d sile is reassuri!g a!d gi*es !othi!g a"ay% /!$e out of the $ar, Christia!
assesses e $riti$ally . Oh no0 what ha6e I done now.
GWhy do!t you ha*e a @a$#etIH he fro"!s as he shrugs out of his a!d drapes it o*er y
shoulders%
Delief "ashes through e%
G8ts i! y !e" $ar,H 8 reply sleepily, ya"!i!g%
3e sir#s at e%
GTired, =iss SteeleIH
GJes, =r% >rey%H 8 feel bashful u!der his teasi!g s$ruti!y% +e*ertheless 8 feel a! e1pla!atio! is
i! order, G8*e bee! pre*ailed upo! i! "ays 8 !e*er thought possible today%H
GWell, if youre really u!lu$#y, 8 ay pre*ail upo! you soe ore,H he proises as he ta#es
y ha!d a!d leads e i!to the buildi!g% 7oly %hit0 Again.&
8 gaFe up at hi i! the ele*ator% 8 ha*e assued hed li#e e to sleep "ith hi, a!d the! 8
reeber that he does!t sleep "ith a!yo!e, although he has "ith e a fe" ties%
8 fro"!, a!d abruptly his gaFe dar#e!s% 3e rea$hes up a!d grasps y $hi!, freei!g y lip
fro teeth%
G/!e day 8 "ill fu$# you i! this ele*ator, &!astasia, but right !o" youre tired C so 8 thi!# "e
should sti$# to a bed%H
0e!di!g do"!, he $laps his teeth arou!d y lo"er lip a!d pulls ge!tly% 8 elt agai!st hi,
a!d y breathi!g stops as y i!sides u!furl "ith lo!gi!g% 8 re$ipro$ate, faste!i!g y teeth o*er his
top lip, teasi!g hi, a!d he groa!s% Whe! the ele*ator doors ope!, he grabs y ha!d a!d tugs e
i!to the foyer, through the double doors, a!d i!to the hall"ay%
G<o you !eed a dri!# or a!ythi!gIH
G+o%H
G>ood% Lets go to bed%H
8 raise y eyebro"s at hi%
GJoure goi!g to settle for plai! old *a!illaIH
3e $o$#s his head to o!e side%
G+othi!g plai! or old about *a!illa C its a *ery i!trigui!g fla*or,H he breathes%
GSi!$e "he!IH
GSi!$e last Saturday% WhyI Were you hopi!g for soethi!g ore e1oti$IH
=y i!!er goddess pops her head abo*e the parapet%
G/h !o% 8*e had e!ough e1oti$ for o!e day%H =y i!!er goddess pouts at e, faili!g iserably
to hide her disappoi!te!t%
GSureI We $ater for all tastes here C at least thirty9o!e fla*ors%H 3e gri!s at e las$i*i9ously%
G8*e !oti$ed,H 8 reply dryly%
3e sha#es his head%
GCoe o!, =iss Steele, you ha*e a big day toorro"% Soo!er youre i! bed, soo!er youll be
fu$#ed, a!d soo!er you $a! sleep%H
G=r% >rey, you are a bor! roa!ti$%H
G=iss Steele, you ha*e a sart outh% 8 ay ha*e to subdue it soe "ay% Coe%H 3e leads
e do"! the hall"ay i!to his bedroo a!d #i$#s the door $losed%
G3a!ds i! the air,H he $oa!ds%
8 oblige, a!d i! o!e breathta#i!gly s"ift o*e, he reo*es y dress li#e a agi$ia!, graspi!g
it at the he a!d pulli!g it soothly a!d fleetly o*er y head%
GTa <aKH he says playfully%
8 giggle a!d applaud politely% 3e bo"s gra$efully gri!!i!g% 7ow can I resist him when he*s
li(e this. 3e pla$es y dress o! the lo!e $hair beside his $hest of dra"ers%
G&!d for your !e1t tri$#IH 8 propt, teasi!g%
G/h y dear, =iss Steele% >et i!to y bed,H he gro"ls% G&!d 8ll sho" you%H
G<o you thi!# that for o!$e 8 should play hard to getIH 8 as# $oBuettishly%
3is eyes "ide! "ith surprise, a!d 8 see a glier of e1$itee!t%
GWellL the doors $losed% +ot sure ho" youre goi!g to a*oid e,H he says sardo!i$ally% G8
thi!# its a do!e deal%H
G0ut 8 a good !egotiator%H
GSo a 8%H 3e stares do"! at e, but as he does, his e1pressio! $ha!ges, $o!fusio! "ashes
o*er hi, a!d the atosphere i! the roo shifts abruptly, te!si!g% G<o!t you "a!t to fu$#IH he
as#s%
G+o,H 8 breathe%
G/h%H 3e fro"!s%
O(ay here goes0 deep ,reath.
G8 "a!t you to a#e lo*e to e%H
3e stills a!d stares at e bla!#ly% 3is e1pressio! dar#e!s . /h shit, this does!t loo# good .
$i6e him a minute& =y sub$o!s$ious s!aps%
G&!a, 8L H 3e ru!s his ha!ds through his hair% T"o ha!ds% JeeF, hes really be"ildered%
G8 thought "e didIH he says e*e!tually%
G8 "a!t to tou$h you%H
3e ta#es a! i!*olu!tary step ba$# fro e, his e1pressio! for a oe!t fearful, a!d the! he
rei!s it i!%
G.lease,H 8 "hisper%
3e re$o*ers hiself%
G/h, !o =iss Steele, you*e had e!ough $o!$essio!s fro e this e*e!i!g% &!d 8 sayi!g
!o%H
G+oIH
G+o%H
Oh0 I can*t argue with that0 can I.
GLoo#, youre tired, 8 tired% Lets @ust go to bed,H he says, "at$hi!g e $arefully%
GSo tou$hi!g is a hard liit for youIH
GJes% This is old !e"s%H
G.lease tell e "hy%H
G/h, &!astasia, please% Just drop it for !o",H he utters e1asperated%
G8ts iporta!t to e%H
&gai! he ru!s both ha!ds through his hair, a!d he utters a! oath be!eath his breath%
Tur!i!g o! his heel, he heads for the $hest of dra"ers, pulls out a t9shirt, a!d thro"s it at e% 8
$at$h it, beused%
G.ut that o! a!d get i!to bed,H he s!aps, irritated%
8 fro"! but de$ide to huor hi% Tur!i!g y ba$#, 8 Bui$#ly reo*e y bra, pulli!g the t9
shirt o! as hastily as 8 $a! to $o*er y !a#ed!ess% 8 lea*e y pa!ties o!, 8 ha*e!t "or! the for
ost of the e*e!i!g%
G8 !eed the bathroo%H =y *oi$e is a "hisper%
3e fro"!s, beused%
G+o" youre as#i!g perissio!IH
GErrL !o%H
G&!astasia, you #!o" "here the bathroo is% Today, at this poi!t i! our stra!ge arra!gee!t,
you do!t !eed y perissio! to use it%H 3e $a!!ot hide his irritatio!% 3e shrugs out of his shirt,
a!d 8 s$oot i!to the bathroo%
8 stare at yself i! the o*er9large irror, sho$#ed that 8 still loo# the sae% &fter all that 8*e
do!e today, its still the sae ordi!ary girl gapi!g ba$# at e% #hat did you e<pect 2 that you*d
grow horns and a little pointy tail. =y sub$o!s$ious s!aps at e% And what the hell are you
doing. 1ouching is his hard limit. 1oo soon you idiot he needs to wal( ,efore he can run. =y
sub$o!s$ious is furious, edusa9li#e i! her a!ger, hair flyi!g, her ha!ds $le!$hed arou!d her fa$e
li#e Ed*ard =u!$hs S$rea% 8 ig!ore her, but she "o!t $lib ba$# i!to her bo1% )ou are ma(ing
him mad 2 thin( a,out all that*s he*s said all he*s conceded. 8 s$o"l at y refle$tio!% 8 !eed to be
able to sho" hi affe$tio! C the! perhaps he $a! re$ipro$ate%
8 sha#e y head resig!ed a!d grasp Christia!s toothbrush% =y sub$o!s$ious is right of
$ourse% 8 rushi!g hi% 3es !ot ready a!d !either a 8% We are bala!$ed o! the deli$ate see9sa",
that is our stra!ge arra!gee!t C at differe!t e!ds, *a$illati!g, a!d it tips a!d s"ays bet"ee! us% We
both !eed to edge $loser to the iddle% 8 @ust hope !either of us falls off i! our attept to do so% This
is all so Bui$#% =aybe 8 !eed soe dista!$e% >eorgia sees ore appeali!g tha! e*er% &s 8 begi!
brushi!g y teeth, he #!o$#s%
GCoe i!,H 8 splutter through a outhful of toothpaste%
Christia! sta!ds i! the door"ay, his .Js ha!gi!g off his hips C i! that "ay that a#es e*ery
little $ell i! y body sta!d up a!d ta#e !oti$e% 3es bare9$hested, a!d 8 dri!# hi i! li#e 8 $raFed
"ith thirst a!d hes $lear $ool ou!tai! spri!g "ater% 3e gaFes at e ipassi*ely, the! sir#s a!d
$oes to sta!d beside e% /ur eyes lo$# i! the irror, gray to blue% 8 fi!ish "ith his toothbrush,
ri!se it off, a!d ha!d it to hi, y loo# !e*er lea*i!g his% Wordlessly, he ta#es the toothbrush fro
e a!d puts it i! his outh% 8 sir# ba$# at hi, a!d his eyes are sudde!ly da!$i!g "ith huor%
G<o feel free to borro" y toothbrush%H 3is to!e is ge!tly o$#i!g%
GTha!# you, Sir,H 8 sile s"eetly, a!d 8 lea*e, headi!g ba$# to bed%
& fe" i!utes later he @oi!s e%
GJou #!o" this is !ot ho" 8 sa" to!ight pa!!i!g out,H he utters petula!tly%
G8agi!e if 8 said to you that you $ould!t tou$h e%H
3e $labers o!to the bed a!d sits $ross9legged%
G&!astasia, 8*e told you% Fifty shades% 8 had a rough start i! life C you do!t "a!t that shit i!
your head% Why "ould youIH
G0e$ause 8 "a!t to #!o" you better%H
GJou #!o" e "ell e!ough%H
G3o" $a! you say thatIH 8 struggle up o!to y #!ees, fa$i!g hi%
3e rolls his eyes at e, frustrated%
GJoure rolli!g your eyes% Last tie 8 did that, 8 e!ded up o*er your #!ee%H
G/h, 8d li#e to put you there agai!%H
8!spiratio! hits e%
GTell e a!d you $a!%H
GWhatIH
GJou heard e%H
GJoure bargai!i!g "ith eIH 3is *oi$e reso!ates "ith asto!ished disbelief%
8 !od% )es0 this is the way.
G+egotiati!g%H
G8t does!t "or# that "ay, &!astasia%H
G/#ay% Tell e, a!d 8ll roll y eyes at you%H
3e laughs, a!d 8 get a rare glipse of $arefree Christia!% 8*e !ot see! hi for a "hile%
3e sobers%
G&l"ays so #ee! a!d eager for i!foratio!%H 3is gray eyes blaFe "ith spe$ulatio!%
&fter a oe!t, he gra$efully $libs off the bed% G<o!t go a"ay,H he says a!d e1its the
roo%
Trepidatio! la!$es through e, a!d 8 hug yself% Whats he doi!gI <oes he ha*e soe e*il
pla!I Crap. Suppose he retur!s "ith a $a!e, or soe "eird #i!#y iplee!tI
7oly shit what will I do then. Whe! he does retur!, hes holdi!g soethi!g sall i! his
ha!ds% 8 $a!t see "hat it is, a!d 8 bur!i!g "ith $uriosity%
GWhe!s your first i!ter*ie" toorro"IH he as#s softly%
GT"o%H
& slo" "i$#ed gri! spreads a$ross his fa$e%
G>ood%H &!d before y eyes, he subtly $ha!ges% 3es harder, i!tra$table%%% hot% This is
<oi!a!t Christia!%
G>et off the bed% Sta!d o*er here%H 3e poi!ts to beside the bed, a!d 8 s$rable up a!d off i!
double9Bui$# tie% 3e stares i!te!tly do"! at e, his eyes glitteri!g "ith proise%
GTrust eIH he as#s softly%
8 !od% 3e holds out his ha!d, a!d i! his pal are t"o rou!d, shi!y, sil*er balls, li!#ed "ith a
thi$# bla$# thread%
GThese are !e",H he says ephati$ally%
8 loo# Buestio!i!gly up at hi%
G8 a goi!g to put these i!side you, a!d the! 8 goi!g to spa!# you, !ot for pu!ishe!t, but
for your pleasure a!d i!e%H 3e pauses, gaugi!g y "ide9eyed rea$tio!%
Inside me& 8 gasp, a!d all the us$les deep i! y belly $le!$h% =y i!!er goddess is doi!g
the da!$e of the se*e! *eils%
GThe! "ell fu$#, a!d if youre still a"a#e, 8ll ipart soe i!foratio! about y forati*e
years% &greedIH
3es as#i!g y perissio!K 0reathlessly, 8 !od% 8 i!$apable of spee$h%
G>ood girl% /pe! your outh%H
Mouth.
GWider%H
Aery ge!tly, he puts the balls i! y outh%
GThey !eed lubri$atio!% Su$#,H he orders, his *oi$e soft%
The balls are $old, sooth, surprisi!gly hea*y, a!d etalli$ tasti!g% =y dry outh pools "ith
sali*a as y to!gue e1plores the u!failiar ob@e$ts% Christia!s gray gaFe does !ot lea*e i!e%
3oly hell, this is tur!i!g e o!% 8 sBuir slightly%
GEeep still, &!astasia,H he "ar!s%
GStop%H 3e tugs the fro y outh% =o*i!g to"ard the bed, he thro"s the du*et aside a!d
sits do"! o! the edge%
GCoe here%H
8 sta!d i! fro!t of hi%
G+o" tur! rou!d, be!d do"!, a!d grasp your a!#les%H
8 bli!# at hi, a!d his e1pressio! dar#e!s%
G<o!t hesitate,H he ado!ishes e softly, a! u!der$urre!t i! his *oi$e, a!d he pops the balls
i! his outh%
'uc( this is se<ier than the tooth,rush. 8 follo" his orders iediately% JeeF, $a! 8 tou$h
y a!#lesI 8 fi!d 8 $a!, "ith ease% The t9shirt slides up y ba$#, e1posi!g y behi!d% Tha!#
hea*e!s 8 ha*e retai!ed y pa!ties, but 8 suspe$t 8 "o!t for lo!g%
3e pla$es his ha!d re*ere!tly o! y ba$#side a!d *ery softly $aresses it "ith his "hole ha!d%
With y eyes ope!, 8 $a! see his legs through i!e, !othi!g else% 8 $lose y eyes tightly as he
ge!tly o*es y pa!ties to the side a!d slo"ly ru!s his fi!ger up a!d do"! y se1% =y body
bra$es itself i! a heady i1 of "ild a!ti$ipatio! a!d arousal% 3e slides o!e fi!ger i!side e, a!d he
$ir$les it deli$iously slo"ly% /h, it feels good% 8 oa!%
3is breathi!g halts, a!d 8 hear hi gasp as he repeats the otio!% 3e "ithdra"s his fi!ger a!d
*ery slo"ly i!serts the ob@e$ts, o!e slo", deli$ious ball at a tie% Oh my.
Theyre body teperature, "ared by our $olle$ti*e ouths% 8ts a $urious feeli!g% /!$e
theyre i!side e, 8 $a!t really feel the C but the! agai! 8 #!o" theyre there.
3e straighte!s y pa!ties a!d lea!s for"ard, a!d his lips softly #iss y behi!d%
GSta!d up,H he orders, a!d sha#ily 8 get to y feet%
Oh& +o" 8 $a! feel theL sort of% 3e grasps y hips to steady e "hile 8 re9establish y
eBuilibriu%
GJou o#ayIH he as#s, his *oi$e ster!%
GJes%H =y a!s"er is feather soft%
GTur! rou!d%H 8 tur! a!d fa$e hi%
The balls pull do"!"ard a!d i!*olu!tarily 8 $le!$h arou!d the% The feeli!g startles e but
!ot i! a bad "ay%
G3o" does that feelIH he as#s%
GStra!ge%H
GStra!ge good or stra!ge badIH
GStra!ge good,H 8 $o!fess, blushi!g%
G>ood%H Theres a tra$e of huor lur#i!g i! his eyes%
G8 "a!t a glass of "ater% >o a!d fet$h o!e for e please%H
Oh.
G&!d "he! you $oe ba$#, 8 shall put you a$ross y #!ee% Thi!# about that, &!astasia%H
#ater. 7e wants water 2 now 2 why.
&s 8 lea*e the bedroo, it be$oes abu!da!tly $lear "hy he "a!ts e to "al# arou!d
C as 8 do, the balls "eigh do"! i!side e, assagi!g e i!ter!ally% 8ts su$h a "eird feeli!g
a!d !ot e!tirely u!pleasa!t% 8! fa$t, y breathi!g a$$elerates as 8 stret$h up for a glass fro the
#it$he! $abi!et, a!d 8 gasp% Oh my0 8 ay ha*e to #eep these% They a#e e !eedy, !eedy for
se1%
3es "at$hi!g e $arefully "he! 8 retur!%
GTha!# you,H he says as he ta#es the glass fro e%
Slo"ly, he ta#es a sip the! pla$es the glass o! his bedside table% Theres a foil pa$#et, ready
a!d "aiti!g, li#e e% &!d 8 #!o" hes doi!g this to build the a!ti$ipatio!% =y heart has pi$#ed up a
beat% 3e tur!s his bright gray gaFe to i!e%
GCoe% Sta!d beside e% Li#e last tie%H
8 sidle up to hi, y blood thrui!g through y body, a!d this tieL 8 e1$ited%
&roused%
G&s# e,H he says softly%
8 fro"!% &s# hi "hatI
G&s# e,H his *oi$e is slightly harder%
WhatI 3o" "as your "aterI What does he "a!tI
G&s# e, &!astasia% 8 "o!t say it agai!%H &!d theres su$h a threat ipli$it i! his "ords, a!d
it da"!s o! e% 3e "a!ts e to as# hi to spa!# e%
7oly shit. 3es loo#i!g at e e1pe$ta!tly, his eyes gro"i!g $older% %hit.
GSpa!# e, pleaseL Sir,H 8 "hisper%
3e $loses his eyes oe!tarily, sa*ori!g y "ords% Dea$hi!g up, he grasps y left ha!d a!d
he tugs e o*er his #!ees% 8 fall i!sta!tly, a!d he steadies e as 8 la!d i! his lap%
=y heart is i! y outh as his ha!d ge!tly stro#es y behi!d% 8 a!gled a$ross his lap
agai! so that y torso rests o! the bed beside hi% This tie he does!t thro" his leg o*er i!e, but
soothes y hair out of y fa$e a!d tu$#s it behi!d y ear% /!$e hes do!e, he $lasps y hair at
the !ape to hold e i! pla$e% 3e tugs ge!tly a!d y head shifts ba$#%
G8 "a!t to see your fa$e "hile 8 spa!# you, &!astasia,H he ururs, all the "hile softly
rubbi!g y ba$#side%
3is ha!d o*es do"! bet"ee! the $hee#s of y behi!d, a!d he pushes agai!st y se1, a!d
the full feeli!g isL 8 oa!% /h, the se!satio! is e1Buisite%
GThis is for pleasure, &!astasia, i!e a!d yours,H he "hispers softly%
3e lifts his ha!d a!d bri!gs it do"! i! a resou!di!g slap agai!st the @u!$tio! of y thighs, y
behi!d, a!d y se1% The balls are for$ed for"ard i!side e, a!d 8 lost i! a Buagire of se!satio!%
The sti!gi!g a$ross y behi!d, the full!ess of the balls i!side e, a!d the fa$t that hes holdi!g e
do"!% 8 s$re" y fa$e up as y fa$ulties attept to absorb all these foreig! feeli!gs% 8 !ote
soe"here i! y brai! that hes !ot sa$#ed e as hard as last tie% 3e $aresses y ba$#side
agai!, traili!g his pal a$ross y s#i! a!d o*er y u!der"ear%
#hy*s he not remo6ed my panties. The! his pal disappears, a!d he bri!gs it do"! agai!% 8
groa! as the se!satio! spreads% 3e starts a patter!: left to right a!d the! do"!%
The do"! o!es are the best% E*erythi!g o*i!g for"ard, i!side eL a!d i! bet"ee! ea$h
sa$# he $aresses e, #!eads e C so 8 a assaged i!side a!d out% 8ts su$h a stiulati!g, eroti$
feeli!g, a!d for soe reaso!, be$ause this is o! y ters, 8 do!t i!d the pai!%
8ts !ot pai!ful as su$h C "ell it is, but !ot u!bearable% 8ts soeho" a!ageable, a!d yes
pleasurableL e*e!% 8 groa!% )es I can do this.
3e pauses as he slo"ly peels y pa!ties do"! y legs% 8 "rithe o! his legs, !ot be$ause 8
"a!t to es$ape the blo"s, but 8 "a!tL ore, release, soethi!g% 3is tou$h agai!st y se!sitiFed
s#i! is all se!suous ti!gle% 8ts o*er"heli!g, a!d he starts agai!% & fe" soft slaps the! buildi!g up,
left to right a!d do"!% /h, the do"!s, 8 groa!%
G>ood girl, &!astasia,H he groa!s, a!d his breathi!g is ragged%
3e spa!#s e t"i$e ore, a!d the! he pulls at the sall threads atta$hed to the balls a!d @er#s
the out of e sudde!ly% 8 alost $lia1 C the feeli!g is out of this "orld% =o*i!g s"iftly, he
ge!tly tur!s e o*er% 8 hear rather see the rip of the foil pa$#et, a!d the! hes lyi!g beside e% 3e
seiFes y ha!ds, hoists the o*er y head, a!d eases hiself o!to e, i!to e, slidi!g slo"ly,
filli!g e "here the sil*er globes ha*e bee!% 8 groa! loudly%
G/h, baby,H he "hispers as he o*es ba$#, for"ard, a slo" se!sual tepo, sa*ori!g e,
feeli!g e%
8t is the ost ge!tle he has e*er bee!, a!d it ta#es !o tie at all for e to fall o*er the edge,
spirali!g i!to a deli$ious, *iole!t, e1hausti!g, orgas% &s 8 $le!$h arou!d hi, it ig!ites his release,
a!d he slides i!to e, stilli!g, gaspi!g out y !ae i! desperate "o!der%
BAna&E
3es sile!t a!d pa!ti!g o! top of e, his ha!ds still e!t"i!ed i! i!e abo*e y head%
Fi!ally, he lea!s ba$# a!d stares do"! at e%
G8 e!@oyed that,H he "hispers, a!d the! #isses e s"eetly%
3e does!t li!ger for ore s"eet #isses, but rises, $o*ers e "ith the du*et, a!d disappears
i!to the bathroo% /! his retur! hes $arryi!g a bottle of "hite lotio!% 3e sits beside e o! the bed%
GDoll o*er,H he orders, a!d begrudgi!gly 8 o*e o! to y fro!t%
3o!estly, all this fuss% 8 feel *ery sleepy%
GJour ass is a glorious $olor,H he says appro*i!gly, a!d he te!derly assages the $ooli!g
lotio! i!to y pi!# behi!d%
GSpill the bea!s, >rey,H 8 ya"!%
G=iss Steele, you #!o" ho" to rui! a oe!t%H
GWe had a deal%H
G3o" do you feelIH
GShort $ha!ged%H
3e sighs, slides i! beside e, a!d pulls e i!to his ars% Careful !ot to tou$h y sti!gi!g
behi!d, "e are spoo!i!g agai!% 3e #isses e *ery softly beside y ear%
GThe "oa! "ho brought e i!to this "orld "as a $ra$#9"hore, &!astasia% >o to sleep%H
7oly fuc( L "hat does that ea!I
GWasIH
GShes dead%H
G3o" lo!gIH
3e sighs%
GShe died "he! 8 "as four% 8 do!t really reeber her% Carri$# has gi*e! e soe details% 8
o!ly reeber $ertai! thi!gs% .lease go to sleep%H
G>ood!ight, Christia!%H
G>ood!ight, &!a%H
&!d 8 slip i!to a daFed a!d e1hausted sleep, dreai!g of a four9year9old, gray9eyed boy i! a
dar#, s$ary, iserable pla$e%
There is light e*ery"here% 0right, "ar, pier$i!g light, a!d 8 e!dea*or to #eep it at bay for a
fe" ore pre$ious i!utes% 8 "a!t to hide, @ust a fe" ore i!utes% 0ut the glare is too stro!g, a!d
8 fi!ally su$$ub to "a#eful!ess% & glorious Seattle or!i!g greets e C
su!shi!e pouri!g through the full9height "i!do"s a!d floodi!g the roo "ith too9bright
light% Why did!t "e $lose the bli!ds last !ightI 8 a i! Christia! >reys *ast bed i!us o!e
Christia! >rey%
8 lie ba$# for a oe!t stari!g through the "i!do"s at the lofty *ista of Seattles s#yli!e% Life
i! the $louds sure feels u!real% & fa!tasy C a $astle i! the air, adrift fro the grou!d, safe fro the
realities of life C far a"ay fro !egle$t, hu!ger, a!d $ra$#9"hore others% 8 shudder to thi!# "hat
he "e!t through as a sall $hild, a!d 8 u!dersta!d "hy he li*es here, isolated, surrou!ded by
beautiful, pre$ious "or#s of art C so far reo*ed fro "here he startedL issio! statee!t i!deed%
8 fro"! be$ause it still does!t e1plai! "hy 8 $a!t tou$h hi%
8ro!i$ally, 8 feel the sae up here i! his lofty to"er% 8 adrift fro reality% 8 i! this fa!tasy
aparte!t, ha*i!g fa!tasy se1 "ith y fa!tasy boyfrie!d% Whe! the gri reality is he "a!ts a
spe$ial arra!gee!t, though hes said hell try ore% What does that a$tually ea!I This is "hat 8
!eed to $larify bet"ee! us to see if "e are still at opposite e!ds o! the see9sa" or if "e are i!$hi!g
$loser together%
8 $laber out of bed feeli!g stiff, a!d for "a!t of a better e1pressio!, "ell9used% )es that
would ,e all the se< then. =y sub$o!s$ious purses her lips i! disappro*al% 8 roll y eyes at her,
grateful that a $ertai! t"it$hy9paled $o!trol frea# is !ot i! the roo, a!d resol*e to as# hi about
the perso!al trai!er% Thats if 8 sig!% =y i!!er goddess glares at e i! desperatio!% Of course you*ll
sign. 8 ig!ore the both, a!d after a Bui$# trip to the bathroo, 8 go i! sear$h of Christia!%
3es !ot i! the art gallery, but a! elega!t iddle9aged "oa! is $lea!i!g i! the #it$he! area%
The sight of her stops e i! y tra$#s% She has short blo!de hair a!d $lear blue eyesP she "ears a
plai! "hite tailored shirt a!d a !a*y blue pe!$il s#irt% She siles broadly "he! she sees e%
G>ood or!i!g, =iss Steele% Would you li#e soe brea#fastIH 3er to!e is "ar but busi!ess
li#e, a!d 8 a stu!!ed% Who is this attra$ti*e blo!de i! Christia!s #it$he!I
8 o!ly "eari!g Christia!s t9shirt% 8 feel self9$o!s$ious a!d ebarrassed by y la$# of
$lothi!g%
G8 afraid you ha*e e at a disad*a!tage%H =y *oi$e is Buiet, u!able to hide the a!1iety i!
y *oi$e%
G/h, 8 terribly sorry C 8 =rs% Jo!es, =r% >reys house#eeper%H
Oh.
G3o" do you doIH 8 a!age%
GWould you li#e soe brea#fast, aaIH
Ma*am&
GJust soe tea "ould be lo*ely, tha!# you% <o you #!o" "here =r% >rey isIH
G8! his study%H
GTha!# you%H
8 s$uttle off to"ard the study, ortified% Why does Christia! o!ly ha*e attra$ti*e blo!des
"or#i!g for hiI &!d a !asty thought $oes i!*olu!tarily i!to y i!d C Are they all e<;su,s. 8
refuse to e!tertai! that hideous idea% 8 po#e y head shyly rou!d the door% 3es o! the pho!e,
fa$i!g the "i!do", i! bla$# pa!ts a!d a "hite shirt% 3is hair is still "et fro the sho"er, a!d 8
$opletely distra$ted fro y !egati*e thoughts%
G5!less that $opa!ys .NL ipro*es, 8 !ot i!terested, Dos% Were !ot $arryi!g dead
"eightL 8 do!t !eed a!y ore lae e1$usesL 3a*e =ar$o $all e, its shit or bust tie%%% Jes,
tell 0ar!ey that the prototype loo#s good, though 8 !ot sure about the i!ter9fa$eL +o, its @ust
issi!g soethi!gL 8 "a!t to eet hi this after!oo! to dis$ussL
8! fa$t, hi a!d his tea, "e $a! brai!storL% /#ay% Tra!sfer e ba$# to &!dreaL H 3e
"aits, stari!g out of the "i!do", aster of his u!i*erse, stari!g do"! at the little people belo" fro
this $astle i! the s#y% G&!dreaL H
>la!$i!g up, he !oti$es e at the door% & slo", se1y sile spreads a$ross his beautiful fa$e,
a!d 8 re!dered spee$hless as y i!sides elt% 3e is "ithout a doubt the ost beautiful a! o!
the pla!et, too beautiful for the little people belo", too beautiful for e%
"o y i!!er goddess s$o"ls at e, !ot too beautiful for e% 7e is sort of mine for !o"%
The idea se!ds a thrill through y blood a!d dispels y irratio!al self9doubt%
3e $o!ti!ues his $o!*ersatio!, his eyes !e*er lea*i!g i!e%
GClear y s$hedule this or!i!g, but get 0ill to $all e% 8ll be i! at t"o% 8 !eed to tal# to
=ar$o this after!oo!, that "ill !eed at least half a! hourL S$hedule 0ar!ey a!d his tea i! after
=ar$o or aybe toorro", a!d fi!d tie for e to see Claude e*eryday this "ee#L Tell hi to
"aitL /hL +o, 8 do!t "a!t publi$ity for <arfurL Tell Sa to deal "ith itL +oL% Whi$h
e*e!tI%%% Thats !e1t SaturdayIL 3old o!%H
GWhe! "ill you be ba$# fro >eorgiaIH he as#s%
GFriday%H
3e resues his pho!e $o!*ersatio!%
G8ll !eed a! e1tra ti$#et be$ause 8 ha*e a dateL Jes &!drea, thats "hat 8 said, a date, =iss
&!astasia Steele "ill a$$opa!y eL Thats all%H 3e ha!gs up% G>ood or!i!g, =iss Steele%H
G=r% >rey,H 8 sile shyly%
3e "al#s arou!d his des# "ith his usual gra$e a!d sta!ds i! fro!t of e% 3e sells so goodP
$lea! a!d freshly lau!dered, so Christia!% 3e ge!tly stro#es y $hee# "ith the ba$# of his fi!gers%
G8 did!t "a!t to "a#e you, you loo#ed so pea$eful% <id you sleep "ellIH
G8 a *ery "ell9rested, tha!# you% 8 @ust $ae to say hi before 8 had a sho"er%H
8 gaFe up at hi, dri!#i!g hi i!% 3e lea!s do"! a!d ge!tly #isses e, a!d 8 $a!t help
yself% 8 thro" y ars arou!d his !e$# a!d y fi!gers t"ist i! his still dap hair%
.ushi!g y body flush agai!st his, 8 #iss hi ba$#% 8 "a!t hi% =y atta$# ta#es hi by
surprise, but after a beat, he respo!ds, a lo" groa! i! his throat% 3is ha!ds slip i!to y hair a!d
do"! y ba$# to $up y !a#ed behi!d, his to!gue e1plori!g y outh% 3e pulls ba$#, his eyes
hooded%
GWell, sleep sees to agree "ith you,H he ururs% G8 suggest you go a!d ha*e your sho"er,
or 8 shall lay you a$ross y des#, !o"%H
G8 $hoose the des#,H 8 "hisper re$#lessly as desire s"eeps li#e adre!ali!e through y syste,
"a#i!g e*erythi!g i! its path%
3e stares be"ildered do"! at e for a illise$o!d%
GJou*e really got a taste for this, ha*e!t you, =iss Steele% Joure be$oi!g i!satiable,H he
ururs%
G8*e o!ly got a taste for you,H 8 "hisper%
3is eyes "ide! a!d dar#e! "hile his ha!ds #!ead y !a#ed ba$#side%
G<a! right, o!ly e,H he gro"ls, a!d sudde!ly "ith o!e fluid o*ee!t, he $lears all the
pla!s a!d papers off his des# so that they s$atter o! the floor, s"eeps e up i! his ars, a!d lays
e do"! a$ross the short e!d of his des# so that y head is alost off the edge%
GJou "a!t it, you got it, baby,H he utters, produ$i!g a foil pa$#et fro his pa!ts po$#et
"hile he u!Fips his pa!ts% Oh Mr. 9oy %cout. 3e rolls the $o!do o*er his ere$tio! a!d gaFes
do"! at e% G8 sure hope youre ready,H he breathes, a sala$ious sile a$ross his fa$e% &!d i! a
oe!t, hes filli!g e, holdi!g y "rists tightly by y side, a!d thrusti!g i!to e deeply%
8 groa!L oh yes.
GChrist, &!a% Joure so ready,H he "hispers i! *e!eratio!%
Wrappi!g y legs arou!d his "aist, 8 hold hi the o!ly "ay 8 $a! as he stays sta!di!g,
stari!g do"! at e, gray eyes glo"i!g, passio!ate a!d possessi*e% 3e starts to o*e, really o*e%
This is !ot a#i!g lo*e, this is fu$#i!g C a!d 8 lo*e it% 8 groa!% 8ts so ra", so $ar!al, a#i!g e so
"a!to!% 8 re*el i! his possessio!, his lust sla#i!g i!e% 3e o*es "ith ease, lu1uriati!g i! e,
e!@oyi!g e, his lips slightly parted as his breathi!g i!$reases%
3e t"ists his hips fro side to side, a!d the feeli!g is e1Buisite%
Oh my. 8 $lose y eyes, feeli!g the build up C that deli$ious, slo", step $libi!g build%
.ushi!g e higher, higher to the $astle i! the air% /h yesL his stro#e i!$reasi!g fra$tio!ally% 8
oa! loudly% 8 a all se!satio!L all hi, e!@oyi!g e*ery thrust, e*ery push that fills e% &!d he
pi$#s up the pa$e, thrusti!g fasterL harderL a!d y "hole body is o*i!g to his rhyth, a!d 8
$a! feel y legs stiffe!i!g, a!d y i!sides Bui*eri!g a!d Bui$#e!i!g%
GCoe o!, baby, gi*e it up for e,H he $a@oles through gritted teeth C a!d the fer*e!t !eed i!
his *oi$e C the strai! C se!ds e o*er the edge%
8 $ry out a "ordless, passio!ate plea as 8 tou$h the su! a!d bur!, falli!g arou!d hi, falli!g
do"!, ba$# to a breathless, bright suit o! Earth% 3e slas i!to e a!d stops abruptly as he
rea$hes his $lia1, pulli!g at y "rists, a!d si!#i!g gra$efully a!d "ordlessly o!to e%
#ow... that was une<pected. 8 slo"ly aterialiFe ba$# o! Earth%
GWhat the hell are you doi!g to eIH he breathes as he !uFFles y !e$#% GJou $opletely
beguile e, &!a% Jou "ea*e soe po"erful agi$%H
3e releases y "rists, a!d 8 ru! y fi!gers through his hair, $oi!g do"! fro y high% 8
tighte! y legs arou!d hi%
G8 the o!e beguiled,H 8 "hisper%
3e loo#s up, gaFi!g at e, his e1pressio! is dis$o!$erted, alared e*e!% .la$i!g his ha!ds o!
either side of y fa$e, he holds y head i! pla$e%
GJou% &re% =i!e,H he says, ea$h "ord a sta$$ato% G<o you u!dersta!dIH
3es so ear!est, so ipassio!ed C a Fealot% The for$e of his plea is so u!e1pe$ted a!d
disari!g% 8 "o!der "hy hes feeli!g li#e this%
GJes, yours,H 8 "hisper, derailed by his fer*or%
G&re you sure you ha*e to go to >eorgiaIH
8 !od slo"ly% &!d i! that brief oe!t, 8 $a! see his e1pressio! $ha!ge a!d the shutters
$oi!g do"!% &bruptly he "ithdra"s, a#i!g e "i!$e%
G&re you soreIH he as#s, lea!i!g o*er e%
G& little,H 8 $o!fess%
G8 li#e you sore%H 3is eyes solder% GDei!ds you "here 8*e bee!, a!d o!ly e%H
3e grabs y $hi! a!d #isses e roughly, the! sta!ds a!d holds his ha!d out to help e up% 8
gla!$e do"! at the foil pa$#et beside e%
G&l"ays prepared,H 8 urur%
3e loo#s at e $o!fused as he redoes his fly% 8 hold up the epty pa$#et%
G& a! $a! hope, &!astasia, drea e*e!, a!d soeties his dreas $oe true%H
3e sou!ds so odd, his eyes bur!i!g% 8 @ust do!t u!dersta!d% =y post $oital glo" is fadi!g
fast% #hat is his pro,lem.
GSo, o! your des#, thats bee! a dreaIH 8 as# dryly, tryi!g huor to lighte! the atosphere
bet"ee! us%
3e siles a! e!igati$ sile that does!t rea$h his eyes, a!d 8 #!o" iediately this is !ot
the first tie hes had se1 o! his des#% The thought is u!"el$oe% 8 sBuir u!$ofortably as y
post $oital glo" e*aporates%
G8d better go a!d ha*e a sho"er%H 8 sta!d a!d a#e to o*e past hi%
3e fro"!s a!d ru!s a ha!d through his hair%
G8*e got a $ouple ore $alls to a#e% 8ll @oi! you for brea#fast o!$e youre out of the
sho"er% 8 thi!# =rs% Jo!es has lau!dered your $lothes fro yesterday% Theyre i! the $loset%H
#hat. Whe! the hell did she do thatI JeeF, $ould she hear usI 8 flush%
GTha!# you,H 8 utter%
GJoure ost "el$oe,H he replies autoati$ally, but theres a! edge to his *oi$e%
I*m not saying than( you for fuc(ing me. &lthough, it "as *ery%%%
GWhatIH he as#s, a!d 8 realiFe 8 fro"!i!g%
GWhats "ro!gIH 8 as# softly%
GWhat do you ea!IH
GWellL youre bei!g ore "eird tha! usual%H
GJou fi!d e "eirdIH 3e tries to stifle a sile%
8 blush%
GSoeties%H
3e regards e for a oe!t, his eyes spe$ulati*e%
G&s e*er, 8 surprised by you, =iss Steele%H
GSurprised ho"IH
GLets @ust say that "as a! u!e1pe$ted treat%H
GWe ai to please, =r% >rey%H 8 $o$# y head to o!e side li#e he ofte! does to e a!d gi*e
his "ords ba$# to hi%
G&!d please e you do,H he says, but he loo#s u!easy% G8 thought you "ere goi!g to ha*e a
sho"er%H
/h, hes disissi!g e%
GJesL u, 8ll see you i! a oe!t%H 8 s$urry out of his offi$e $opletely dubfou!ded%
3e seeed $o!fused% #hy. 8 ha*e to say as physi$al e1perie!$es go, that "as *ery
satisfyi!g% 0ut eotio!ally C "ell, 8 rattled by his rea$tio!, a!d that "as about as eotio!ally
e!ri$hi!g as $otto! $a!dy is !utritious%
=rs% Jo!es is still i! the #it$he!%
GWould you li#e your tea !o", =iss SteeleIH
G8ll ha*e a sho"er first, tha!# you,H 8 utter a!d ta#e y blaFi!g fa$e Bui$#ly out of the
roo%
8! the sho"er, 8 try to figure out "hats up "ith Christia!% 3e is the ost $opli$ated perso! 8
#!o", a!d 8 $a!!ot u!dersta!d his e*er9$ha!gi!g oods% 3e seeed fi!e "he! 8 "e!t i!to his
study% We had se1L a!d the! he "as!t% +o, 8 do!t get it% 8 loo# to y sub$o!s$ious% Shes
"histli!g "ith her ha!ds behi!d her ba$# a!d loo#i!g a!y"here but at e% She has!t got a $lue,
a!d y i!!er goddess is still bas#i!g i! a re!a!t of post9$oital glo"% +o C "ere all $lueless%
8 to"el9dry y hair, $ob it through "ith Christia!s o!e a!d o!ly hair iplee!t, a!d put
y hair up i! bu!% Eates plu dress ha!gs lau!dered a!d iro!ed i! the $loset alo!g "ith y $lea!
bra a!d pa!ties% =rs% Jo!es is a ar*el% Slippi!g o! Eates shoes, 8 straighte! y dress, ta#e a deep
breath, a!d head ba$# out to the great roo%
Christia! is still !o"here to be see!, a!d =rs% Jo!es is $he$#i!g the $o!te!ts of the pa!try%
GTea !o", =iss SteeleIH she as#s%
G.lease%H 8 sile at her% 8 feel slightly ore $o!fide!t !o" that 8 dressed%
GWould you li#e soethi!g to eatIH
G+o, tha!# you%H
G/f $ourse youll ha*e soethi!g to eat,H Christia! s!aps, glo"eri!g% GShe li#es pa!$a#es,
ba$o!, a!d eggs, =rs% Jo!es%H
GJes, =r% >rey% What "ould you li#e, sirIH
G/elet, please, a!d soe fruit%H 3e does!t ta#e his eyes off e, his e1pressio!
u!fathoable% GSit,H he orders, poi!ti!g to o!e of the bar stools%
8 oblige, a!d he sits beside e "hile =rs% Jo!es busies herself "ith brea#fast% >osh, its
u!!er*i!g ha*i!g soeo!e else liste! to our $o!*ersatio!%
G3a*e you bought your air ti$#etIH
G+o, 8ll buy it "he! 8 get hoe C o*er the 8!ter!et%H
3e lea!s o! his elbo", rubbi!g his $hi!%
G<o you ha*e the o!eyIH
Oh no.
GJes,H 8 say "ith o$# patie!$e as if 8 tal#i!g to a sall $hild%
3e raises a $e!sorious eyebro" at e% Crap.
GJes, 8 do, tha!# you,H 8 ae!d rapidly%
G8 ha*e a @et% 8ts !ot s$heduled to be used for three days, its at your disposal%H
8 gape at hi% /f $ourse he has a @et, a!d 8 ha*e to resist y bodys !atural i!$li!atio! to roll
y eyes at hi% 8 "a!t to laugh% 0ut 8 do!t, as 8 $a!t read his ood%
GWe*e already ade serious isuse of your $opa!ys a*iatio! fleet% 8 "ould!t "a!t to do
it agai!%H
G8ts y $opa!y, its y @et%H 3e sou!ds alost "ou!ded% Oh ,oys and their toys&
GTha!# you for the offer% 0ut 8d be happier ta#i!g a s$heduled flight%H
3e loo#s li#e he "a!ts to argue further but de$ides agai!st it%
G&s you "ish,H he sighs% G<o you ha*e u$h preparatio! to do for your i!ter*ie"IH
G+o%H
G>ood% Joure still !ot goi!g to tell e "hi$h publishi!g housesIH
G+o%H
3is lips $url up i! a relu$ta!t sile%
G8 a a a! of ea!s, =iss Steele%H
G8 a fully a"are of that, =r% >rey% &re you goi!g to tra$# y pho!eIH 8 as# i!!o$e!tly%
G&$tually, 8ll be Buite busy this after!oo!, so 8ll ha*e to get soeo!e else to do it%H
3e sir#s%
Is he +o(ing.
G8f you $a! spare soeo!e to do that, youre ob*iously o*erstaffed%H
G8ll se!d a! eail to the head of hua! resour$es a!d ha*e her loo# i!to our head $ou!t%H
3is lips t"it$h to hide his sile%
Oh than( the Gord he*s reco6ered his sense of humor.
=rs% Jo!es ser*es us brea#fast a!d "e eat Buietly for a fe" oe!ts% &fter $leari!g the pa!s,
ta$tfully, she heads out of the li*i!g area% 8 pee# up at hi%
GWhat it is, &!astasiaIH
GJou #!o", you !e*er did tell e "hy you do!t li#e to be tou$hed%H
3e bla!$hes, a!d his rea$tio! a#es e feel guilty for as#i!g%
G8*e told you ore tha! 8*e e*er told a!ybody%H 3is *oi$e is Buiet as he gaFes at e
ipassi*ely%
&!d its $lear to e that hes !e*er $o!fided i! a!yo!e% <oes!t he ha*e a!y $lose frie!dsI
.erhaps he told =rs% Dobi!so!I 8 "a!t to as# hi, but 8 $a!t C 8 $a!t pry that i!*asi*ely% 8 sha#e
y head at the realiFatio!% 3e really is a! isla!d%
GWill you thi!# about our arra!gee!t "hile youre a"ayIH he as#s%
GJes%H
GWill you iss eIH
8 gaFe at hi, surprised by his Buestio!%
GJes,H 8 a!s"er ho!estly%
3o" $ould he ea! so u$h to e i! su$h a short tieI 3es got right u!der y s#i!L
literally% 3e siles a!d his eyes light up%
G8ll iss you too% =ore tha! you #!o",H he breathes%
=y heart "ars at his "ords% 3e really is tryi!g, hard% 3e ge!tly stro#es y $hee#, be!ds
do"!, a!d #isses e softly%
8t is late after!oo!, a!d 8 sit !er*ous a!d fidgeti!g i! the lobby "aiti!g for =r% J% 3yde of
Seattle 8!depe!de!t .ublishi!g% This is y se$o!d i!ter*ie" today, a!d the o!e 8 ost a!1ious
about% =y first i!ter*ie" "e!t "ell, but it "as for a larger $o!gloerate "ith offi$es based
throughout the 5S, a!d 8 "ould be o!e of a!y editorial assista!ts there% 8 $a! iagi!e bei!g
s"allo"ed up a!d spat out pretty Bui$#ly i! su$h a $orporate a$hi!e%
S8. is "here 8 "a!t to be% 8ts sall a!d u!$o!*e!tio!al, $hapio!i!g lo$al authors, a!d has
a! i!teresti!g a!d Buir#y roster of $lie!ts%
=y surrou!di!gs are sparse, but 8 thi!# its a desig! statee!t rather tha! frugality% 8 a
seated o! o!e of t"o dar# gree! $hesterfield $ou$hes ade of leather C !ot u!li#e the $ou$h that
Christia! has i! his playroo% 8 stro#e the leather appre$iati*ely a!d "o!der idly "hat Christia!
does o! that $ou$h% =y i!d "a!ders as 8 thi!# of the possibilitiesL !o C 8 ust !ot go there !o"%
8 flush at y "ay"ard a!d i!appropriate thoughts%
The re$eptio!ist is a you!g &fri$a!9&eri$a! "oa! "ith large sil*er earri!gs a!d lo!g
straighte!ed hair% She has a boheia! loo# about her, the sort of "oa! 8 $ould be frie!dly "ith%
The thought is $oforti!g% E*ery fe" oe!ts, she gla!$es at up e, a"ay fro her $oputer a!d
siles reassuri!gly% 8 te!tati*ely retur! her sile%
=y flight is boo#edP y other is i! se*e!th hea*e! that 8 a *isiti!gP 8 a pa$#ed, a!d Eate
has agreed to dri*e e to the airport% Christia! has ordered e to ta#e y 0la$#0erry a!d the =a$%
8 roll y eyes at the eory of his o*erbeari!g bossi!ess, but 8 realiFe !o" thats @ust the "ay he
is% 3e li#es $o!trol o*er e*erythi!g, i!$ludi!g e% Jet hes so u!predi$tably a!d disari!gly
agreeable too% 3e $a! be te!der, good9huored, e*e! s"eet% &!d "he! he is, its so left field a!d
u!e1pe$ted% 3e i!sisted o! a$$opa!yi!g e all the "ay do"! to y $ar i! the garage% JeeF, 8
o!ly goi!g for a fe" days, hes a$ti!g li#e 8 goi!g for "ee#s% 3e #eeps e o! the ba$# foot
pera!e!tly%
G&!a SteeleIH & "oa! "ith lo!g, bla$#, pre9Daphaelite hair sta!di!g by the re$eptio! des#
distra$ts e fro y i!trospe$tio!% She has the sae boheia!, floaty loo# as the re$eptio!ist% She
$ould be i! her late thirties, aybe i! her forties% 8ts so diffi$ult to tell "ith older "oe!%
GJes,H 8 reply, sta!di!g a"#"ardly%
She gi*es e a polite sile, her $ool haFel eyes assessi!g e% 8 a "eari!g o!e of Eates
dresses, a bla$# pi!afore o*er a "hite blouse, a!d y bla$# pups% Aery i!ter*ie", 8 thi!#% =y hair
is restrai!ed i! a po!ytail, a!d for o!$e the te!drils are beha*i!g the9sel*esL she holds her ha!d
out to e%
G3ello, &!a, y !aes EliFabeth =orga!% 8 head of 3ua! Desour$es here at S8.%HG3o"
do you doIH 8 sha#e her ha!d% She loo#s *ery $asual to be the head of 3D%
G.lease follo" e%H
We go through the double doors behi!d the re$eptio! area, i!to a large brightly de$orated
ope! pla! offi$e, a!d fro there, head i!to a sall eeti!g roo% The "alls are pale gree!, li!ed
"ith pi$tures of boo# $o*ers% &t the head of the =aple"ood $o!fere!$e table sits a you!g a! "ith
red hair tied i! a po!ytail% Sall, sil*er, hooped earri!gs gli!t i! both his ears% 3e "ears a pale blue
shirt, !o tie, a!d grey fla!!el trousers% &s 8 approa$h hi, he sta!ds a!d gaFes at e "ith
fatholess dar# blue eyes%
G&!a Steele, 8 Ja$# 3yde, the $oissio!i!g editor here at S8., a!d 8 *ery pleased to
eet you%H
We sha#e ha!ds, a!d his dar# e1pressio! is u!readable, though frie!dly e!ough, 8 thi!#%
G3a*e you tra*eled farIH he as#s pleasa!tly%
G+o, 8*e re$e!tly o*ed to the .i#e Street =ar#et area%H
G/h, !ot far at all the!% .lease, ta#e a seat%H
8 sit, a!d EliFabeth ta#es a seat beside hi%
GSo "hy "ould you li#e to i!ter! for us at S8., &!aIH he as#s%
3e says y !ae softly a!d $o$#s his head to o!e side, li#e soeo!e 8 #!o" C its u!!er*i!g%
<oi!g y best to ig!ore the irratio!al "ari!ess he i!spires, 8 lau!$h i!to y $arefully prepared
spee$h, $o!s$ious that a rosy flush is spreadi!g a$ross y $hee#s% 8 loo# at both of the,
reeberi!g The Eatheri!e Ea*a!agh Su$$essful 8!ter*ie"i!g Te$h!iBue le$ture C maintain eye
contact Ana& 0oy, that "oa! $a! be bossy too, soeties% Ja$# a!d EliFabeth both liste!
atte!ti*ely%
GJou ha*e a *ery ipressi*e >.&% What e1tra9$urri$ular a$ti*ities did you i!dulge i! at
WS5IH
Indulge. 8 bli!# at hi% What a! odd $hoi$e of "ord% 8 lau!$h i!to details of y
libraria!ship at the $apus $e!tral library, a!d y o!e e1perie!$e of i!ter*ie"i!g a! obs$e!ely ri$h
despot for the stude!t agaFi!e% 8 gloss o*er the part that 8 did!t a$tually "rite the arti$le% 8
e!tio! the t"o literary so$ieties that 8 belo!ged to a!d $o!$lude "ith "or#i!g at Clayto!s a!d all
the useless #!o"ledge 8 !o" possess about hard"are a!d <8J%
They both laugh, "hi$h is the respo!se 8d hoped for% Slo"ly, 8 rela1 a!d begi! to e!@oy
yself%
Ja$# 3yde as#s sharp, i!tellige!t Buestio!s, but 8 !ot thro"! C 8 #eep up, a!d "he! "e
dis$uss y readi!g prefere!$es a!d y fa*orite boo#s, 8 thi!# 8 hold y o"!% Ja$#, o! the other
ha!d, appears to o!ly fa*or &eri$a! literature "ritte! after 1'40% +othi!g else%
+o $lassi$s 9 !ot e*e! 3e!ry Jaes or 5pto! Si!$lair or F S$ott FitFgerald% EliFabeth says
!othi!g, @ust !ods o$$asio!ally a!d ta#es !otes% Ja$#, though argue!tati*e, is $hari!g i! his "ay,
a!d y i!itial "ari!ess dissipates the lo!ger "e tal#%
G&!d "here do you see yourself i! fi*e years tieIH he as#s%
#ith Christian $rey the thought $oes i!*olu!tarily i!to y head% =y erra!t i!d a#es
e fro"!%
GCopy editi!g perhapsI =aybe a literary age!t, 8 !ot sure% 8 a ope! to opportu!ities%H3e
gri!s%
GAery good, &!a% 8 do!t ha*e a!y further Buestio!s% <o youIH he dire$ts his Buestio! at e%
GWhe! "ould you li#e soeo!e to startIH 8 as#%
G&s soo! as possible,H EliFabeth pipes up% GWhe! $ould you startIH
G8 a*ailable fro !e1t "ee#%H
GThats good to #!o",H Ja$# says%
G8f thats all a!yo!e has to say,H EliFabeth gla!$es at the t"o of us, G8 thi!# that $o!$ludes the
i!ter*ie"%H She siles #i!dly%
G8ts bee! a pleasure to eet you, &!a,H Ja$# says softly as he ta#es y ha!d% 3e sBueeFes it
ge!tly, so that 8 bli!# up at hi as 8 say goodbye%
8 feel u!settled as 8 a#e y "ay to y $ar, though 8 !ot sure "hy% 8 thi!# the i!ter*ie"
"e!t "ell, but its so hard to say% 8!ter*ie"s see su$h artifi$ial situatio!s, e*eryo!e o! their best
beha*ior tryi!g desperately to hide behi!d a professio!al faNO221Pade% <id y fa$e fitI 8 shall ha*e
to "ait a!d see%
8 $lib i!to y &udi &2 a!d head ba$# to the aparte!t, though 8 ta#e e tie% 8 o! the
red9eye "ith a stopo*er i! &tla!ta, but y flight does!t lea*e u!til 10:24 this e*e!i!g, so 8 ha*e
ple!ty of tie%
Eate is u!pa$#i!g bo1es i! the #it$he! "he! 8 retur!%
G3o" did they goIH she as#s, e1$ited% /!ly Eate $a! loo# gorgeous i! a! o*ersiFed shirt,
tattered @ea!s, a!d a dar# blue ba!da!a%
G>ood, tha!#s, Eate% +ot sure this outfit "as $ool e!ough for the se$o!d i!ter*ie"%H
G/hIH
G0oho $hi$ ight ha*e do!e it%H
Eate raises a! eyebro"%
GJou a!d boho $hi$%H She $o$#s her head to o!e side 9 >ahK Why is e*eryo!e rei!di!g e
of y fa*orite Fifty ShadesI G&$tually, &!a, youre o!e of the fe" people "ho $ould really pull
that loo# off%H
8 gri!%
G8 really li#ed the se$o!d pla$e% 8 thi!# 8 $ould fit i! there% The guy "ho i!ter*ie"ed e "as
u!!er*i!g though,H 8 trail off C shit 8 tal#i!g to foghor! Ea*a!agh here% %hut up Ana&
G/hIH The Eatheri!e Ea*a!agh radar for a! i!teresti!g tidbit of i!foratio! s"oops i!to
a$tio! C a tidbit that "ill o!ly resurfa$e at soe i!opportu!e a!d ebarrassi!g oe!t, "hi$h
rei!ds e%
G8!$ide!tally C "ill you please stop "i!di!g Christia! upI Jour $oe!t about JosNO222P at
di!!er yesterday "as out of li!e% 3es a @ealous guy% 8t does!t do a!y good, you #!o"%H
GLoo#, if he "as!t Elliots brother 8d ha*e said a lot "orse% 3es a real $o!trol frea#%
8 do!t #!o" ho" you sta!d it% 8 "as tryi!g to a#e hi @ealous C gi*e hi a little help "ith
his $oite!t issues%H She holds her ha!ds up defe!si*ely% G0ut C if you do!t "a!t e to
i!terfere, 8 "o!t,H she says hastily at y s$o"l%
G>ood% Life "ith Christia! is $opli$ated e!ough, trust e%H
=ee: I sound li(e him.
G&!a,H she pauses stari!g at e% GJoure o#ay, are!t youI Joure !ot ru!!i!g to your
others to es$apeIH
8 flush%
G+o Eate% 8t "as you "ho said 8 !eeded a brea#%H
She $loses the dista!$e bet"ee! us a!d ta#es y ha!ds C a ost u!9Eate thi!g to do%
Oh no L tears threate!%
GJoure @ust, 8 do!t #!o"L differe!t% 8 hope youre o#ay, a!d "hate*er issues youre ha*i!g
"ith =r% =o!eybags, you $a! tal# to e% &!d 8 "ill try !ot to "i!d hi up, though fra!#ly its li#e
shooti!g fish i! a barrel "ith hi% Loo#, &!a, if soethi!gs "ro!g, you "ill tell e, 8 "o!t @udge%
8ll try to u!dersta!d%H
8 bli!# ba$# tears%
G/h, Eate%H 8 hug her% G8 thi!# 8*e really falle! for hi%H
G&!a, a!yo!e $a! see that% &!d hes falle! for you% 3es ad about you% Wo!t ta#e his eyes
off you%H
8 laugh u!$ertai!ly%
G<o you thi!# soIH
G3as!t he told youIH
G+ot i! so a!y "ords%H
G3a*e you told hiIH
G+ot i! so a!y "ords%H 8 shrug apologeti$ally%
G&!aK Soeo!e has to a#e the first o*e, other"ise youll !e*er get a!y"here%H
#hat0 tell him how I feel.
G8 @ust afraid 8ll frighte! hi a"ay%H
G&!d ho" do you #!o" hes !ot feeli!g the saeIH
GChristia!, afraidI 8 $a!t iagi!e hi bei!g frighte!ed of a!ythi!g%H 0ut as 8 say the "ords, 8
iagi!e hi as a sall $hild% =aybe fear "as all he #!e" the!% Sorro" grips a!d sBueeFes y heart
at the thought%
Eate gaFes at e "ith pursed lips a!d !arro"ed eyes, rather li#e y sub$o!s$ious C all she
!eeds is the half9oo! spe$s%
GJou t"o !eed to sit do"! a!d tal# to ea$h other%H
GWe ha*e!t bee! doi!g u$h tal#i!g lately%H 8 flush% /ther stuff% +o!9*erbal $ou!i$atio!
a!d thats o#ay% Well, u$h ore tha! o#ay%
She gri!s%
GThatll be the se1i!gK 8f thats goi!g "ell, the! thats half the battle &!a% 8ll grab soe
Chi!ese ta#e9out% &re you ready to goIH
G8 "ill be C "e do!t ha*e to lea*e for a $ouple of hours or so%H
G+o C 8ll see you i! t"e!ty%H She grabs her @a$#et a!d lea*es, forgetti!g to $lose the door% 8
shut it behi!d her a!d head off to y bedroo ulli!g o*er her "ords%
8s Christia! afraid of his feeli!gs for eI <oes he e*e! ha*e feeli!gs for eI 3e sees *ery
#ee!, says 8 his C but thats @ust part of his 89ust9o"!9a!d9ha*e9e*erythi!g9!o" C $o!trol9frea#
doi!a!t self, surely% 8 realiFe that "hile 8 a"ay, 8 "ill ha*e to ru! through all our $o!*ersatio!s
agai! a!d see if 8 $a! pi$# out telltale sig!s%
I*ll miss you too0 more than you (now...
)ou*6e completely ,eguiled me0
8 sha#e y head% 8 do!t "a!t to thi!# about it !o"% 8 a $hargi!g the 0la$#0erry, so 8
ha*e!t had it "ith e all after!oo!% 8 approa$h it "ith $autio!, a!d 8 disappoi!ted that there are
!o essages% 8 s"it$h o! the ea! a$hi!e, a!d there are !o essages there either% %ame email
address Ana C y sub$o!s$ious rolls her eyes at e, a!d for the first tie, 8 u!dersta!d "hy
Christia! "a!ts to spa!# e "he! 8 do that%
/#ay% Well, 8ll "rite hi a! eail%
)rom: &!astasia Steele
S1b2ect: 8!ter*ie"s
"ate: =ay 20 2011 1):S'
$o: Christia! >rey
<ear Sir
=y i!ter*ie"s "e!t "ell today%
Thought you ight be i!terested%
3o" "as your dayI
&!a
8 sit a!d glare at the s$ree!% Christia!s respo!ses are usually i!sta!ta!eous% 8 "aitL a!d "ait,
a!d fi!ally 8 hear the "el$oe pi!g fro y i!bo1%
)rom: Christia! >rey
S1b2ect: =y day
"ate: =ay 20 2011 1':02
$o: &!astasia Steele
<ear =iss Steele
E*erythi!g you do i!terests e, you are the ost fas$i!ati!g "oa! 8 #!o"%
8 glad your i!ter*ie"s "e!t "ell%
=y or!i!g "as beyo!d all e1pe$tatio!s%
=y after!oo! "as *ery dull i! $opariso!%
Christia! >rey
CE/, >rey E!terprises 3oldi!gs 8!$%
)rom: &!astasia Steele
S1b2ect: Fi!e =or!i!g
"ate: =ay 20 2011 1':04
$o: Christia! >rey
<ear Sir
The or!i!g "as e1eplary for e too, i! spite of you "eirdi!g out o! e after the
ipe$$able des# se1% <o!t thi!# 8 did!t !oti$e%
Tha!# you for brea#fast% /r tha!# =rs% Jo!es%
8d li#e to as# you Buestio!s about her C "ithout you "eirdi!g out o! e agai!%
&!a
=y fi!ger ho*ers o*er the se!d butto!, a!d 8 a reassured that 8ll be o! the other side of the
$o!ti!e!t this tie toorro"%
)rom: Christia! >rey
S1b2ect: .ublishi!g a!d JouI
"ate: =ay 20 2011 1':10
$o: &!astasia Steele
&!astasia
MWeirdi!g is !ot a *erb a!d should !ot be used by a!yo!e "ho "a!ts to go i!to publishi!g%
8pe$$ableI Copared to "hat, pray tellI &!d "hat do you !eed to as# about =rs%
Jo!esI 8 i!trigued%
Christia! >rey
CE/, >rey E!terprises 3oldi!gs 8!$%
)rom: &!astasia Steele
S1b2ect: Jou a!d =rs% Jo!es
"ate: =ay 20 2011 1':17
$o: Christia! >rey
<ear Sir
La!guage e*ol*es a!d o*es o!% 8t is a! orga!i$ thi!g% 8t is !ot stu$# i! a! i*ory to"er, hu!g
"ith e1pe!si*e "or#s of art a!d o*erloo#i!g ost of Seattle "ith a helipad stu$# o! its roof%
8pe$$able C $opared to the other ties "e ha*eL "hats your "ordL oh yesL
fu$#ed% &$tually the fu$#i!g has bee! pretty ipe$$able, period, i! y huble opi!io! C
but the! as you #!o" 8 ha*e *ery liited e1perie!$e%
8s =rs% Jo!es a! e19sub of yoursI
&!a
=y fi!ger ho*ers o!$e ore o*er the se!d butto!, a!d 8 press it%
)rom: Christia! >rey
S1b2ect: La!guage% Wat$h Jour =outhK
"ate: =ay 20 2011 1':22
$o: &!astasia Steele
&!astasia
=rs% Jo!es is a *alued eployee% 8 ha*e !e*er had a!y relatio!ship "ith her beyo!d our
professio!al o!e% 8 do !ot eploy a!yo!e 8*e had a!y se1ual relatio!s "ith% 8 a sho$#ed that you
"ould thi!# so% The o!ly perso! 8 "ould a#e a! e1$eptio! to this rule is you C be$ause you are a
bright you!g "oa! "ith rear#able !egotiati!g s#ills%
Though, if you $o!ti!ue to use su$h la!guage, 8 ay ha*e to re$o!sider ta#i!g you o! here% 8
a glad you ha*e liited e1perie!$e% Jour e1perie!$e "ill $o!ti!ue to be liited
C @ust to e% 8 shall ta#e ipe$$able as a $oplie!t C though "ith you, 8 !e*er sure if
thats "hat you ea!, or if your se!se of iro!y is getti!g the better of you C as usual%
Christia! >rey
CE/, >rey E!terprises 3oldi!gs 8!$% Fro 3is 8*ory To"er
)rom: &!astasia Steele
S1b2ect: +ot for all the Tea i! Chi!a
"ate: =ay 20 2011 1':27
$o: Christia! >rey
<ear =r% >rey
8 thi!# 8 ha*e already e1pressed y reser*atio!s about "or#i!g for your $opa!y% =y *ie"s
o! this ha*e !ot $ha!ged, are !ot $ha!gi!g, a!d "ill !ot $ha!ge, e*er% 8 ust lea*e you !o" as Eate
has retur!ed "ith food% =y se!se of iro!y a!d 8, bid you good!ight%
8 "ill $o!ta$t you o!$e 8 i! >eorgia%
&!a
)rom: Christia! >rey
S1b2ect: E*e! T"i!i!gs E!glish 0rea#fast TeaI
"ate: =ay 20 2011 1':2'
$o: &!astasia Steele
>ood!ight &!astasia%
8 hope you a!d your se!se of iro!y ha*e a safe flight%
Christia! >rey
CE/, >rey E!terprises 3oldi!gs 8!$%
Eate a!d 8 pull up outside the drop9off area at Sea9Ta$ &irport teri!al% Lea!i!g a$ross, she
hugs e%
GE!@oy 0arbados, Eate% 3a*e a "o!derful holiday%H
G8ll see you "he! 8 get ba$#% <o!t let old o!eybags gri!d you do"!%H
G8 "o!t%H
We hug agai! C a!d the! 8 o! y o"!% 8 head o*er to $he$#9i! a!d sta!d i! li!e, "aiti!g
"ith y $arry9o! luggage% 8 ha*e!t bothered "ith a suit$ase, @ust a sart ru$#sa$# that Day ga*e
e for y last birthday%
GTi$#et pleaseIH The bored you!g a! behi!d the des# holds up his ha!d "ithout loo#i!g at
e%
=irrori!g his boredo, 8 ha!d o*er y ti$#et a!d y dri*ers li$e!se as 8<% 8 a hopi!g for a
"i!do" seat if at all possible%
G/#ay, =iss Steele% Jou*e bee! upgraded to first $lass%H
GWhatIH
G=aa, if youd li#e to go through to the first $lass lou!ge a!d a"ait your flight there%H 3e
sees to ha*e "o#e! up a!d is beai!g at e li#e 8 the Christas Fairy a!d the Easter 0u!!y
rolled i!to o!e%
GSurely theres soe ista#e%H
G+o, !o%H 3e $he$#s his $oputer s$ree! agai!% G&!astasia Steele C upgrade%H 3e sipers at
e%
5gh. 8 !arro" y eyes% 3e ha!ds e y boardi!g pass, a!d 8 head to"ards the first $lass
lou!ge utteri!g u!der y breath% <a! Christia! >rey, i!terferi!g $o!trol frea# C
he @ust $a!t lea*e "ell e!ough alo!e%
8 a a!i$ured, assaged, a!d 8*e had t"o glasses of $hapag!e% The First Class lou!ge
has a!y redeei!g features% With ea$h sip of =oet, 8 feel slightly ore i!$li!ed to forgi*e
Christia! a!d his i!ter*e!tio!% 8 ope! up y =a$0oo#, hopi!g to test the theory that it "or#s
a!y"here o! the pla!et%
)rom: &!astasia Steele
S1b2ect: /*er9E1tra*aga!t >estures
"ate: =ay 20 2011 21:42
$o: Christia! >rey
<ear =r% >rey
What really alars e is ho" you #!e" "hi$h flight 8 "as o!%
Jour stal#i!g #!o"s !o bou!ds% Lets hope that <r% Fly!! is ba$# fro *a$atio!%
8 ha*e had a a!i$ure, a ba$# assage, a!d t"o glasses of $hapag!e C a *ery !i$e start to
y *a$atio!%
Tha!# you%
&!a
)rom: Christia! >rey
S1b2ect: Joure =ost Wel$oe
"ate: =ay 20 2011 21:4'
$o: &!astasia Steele
<ear =iss Steele
<r% Fly!! is ba$#, a!d 8 ha*e a! appoi!te!t this "ee#%
Who "as assagi!g your ba$#I
Christia! >rey
CE/ "ith frie!ds i! the right pla$es, >rey E!terprises 3oldi!gs 8!$%
&haK .ay ba$# tie% /ur flight has bee! $alled so 8 shall eail hi fro the pla!e% 8t "ill be
safer% 8 alost hug yself "ith is$hie*ous glee%
There is so u$h roo i! first $lass% Chapag!e $o$#tail i! ha!d, 8 settle yself i!to the
suptuous leather "i!do" seat as the $abi! slo"ly fills% 8 $all Day to tell hi "here 8 a
C a er$ifully brief $all, as its so late for hi%
GLo*e you, <ad,H 8 urur%
GJou too, &!!ie% Say hi to your o% >ood!ight%H
G>ood!ight%H 8 ha!g up%
Day is i! good for% 8 stare at y =a$ a!d "ith the sae $hildish glee buildi!g%
/pe!i!g y laptop, 8 log i!to the eail progra%
)rom: &!astasia Steele
S1b2ect: Stro!g &ble 3a!ds
"ate: =ay 20 2011 22:22
$o: Christia! >rey
<ear Sir
& *ery pleasa!t you!g a! assaged y ba$#% Jes% Aery pleasa!t i!deed% 8 "ould!t ha*e
e!$ou!tered Jea!9.aul i! the ordi!ary departure lou!ge C so tha!# you agai! for that treat% 8 !ot
sure if 8ll be allo"ed to eail o!$e "e ta#e off, a!d 8 !eed y beauty sleep si!$e 8*e !ot bee!
sleepi!g so "ell re$e!tly%
.leasa!t dreas =r% >reyL thi!#i!g of you%
&!a
/h, hes goi!g to flip out C a!d 8 shall be airbor!e a!d out of rea$h% Ser*es hi right%
8f 8d bee! i! the ordi!ary departure lou!ge the! Jea!9.aul "ould!t ha*e gotte! his ha!ds o!
e% 3e "as a *ery !i$e you!g a!, i! a blo!de, pera9ta!!ed "ay C ho!estly, "ho has a ta! i!
SeattleI 8ts @ust so "ro!g% 8 thi!# he "as gay C but 8ll @ust #eep that detail to yself% 8 stare at y
eail% Eate is right% 8t is li#e shooti!g fish i! a barrel "ith hi% =y sub$o!s$ious stares at e "ith
a! ugly t"ist to her outh C do you really want to wind him up. What hes do!e is s"eet, you
#!o"K 3e $ares about you a!d "a!ts you to tra*el i!
style% Jes, but he $ould ha*e as#ed e or told e% +ot ade e loo# li#e a $oplete #lutF at
$he$#9i!% 8 press se!d a!d "ait, feeli!g li#e a *ery !aughty girl%
G=iss Steele, youll !eed to sto" your laptop for ta#e9off,H the o*er9ade9up flight atte!da!t
says politely% She a#es e @up% =y guilty $o!s$ie!$e is at "or#%
G/h, sorry%H
Crap. +o" 8ll ha*e to "ait to #!o" if hes replied% She ha!ds e a soft bla!#et a!d pillo",
sho"i!g her perfe$t teeth% 8 drape the bla!#et o*er y #!ees% 8ts !i$e to feel ol9ly$oddled
soeties%
The $abi! has filled up, e1$ept for the seat beside e "hi$h is still u!o$$upied% Oh no L a
disturbi!g thought $rosses y i!d% /erhaps the seat is Christian*s. /h shitL
!oL he "ould!t do that% Would heI 8 told hi 8 did!t "a!t hi to $oe "ith e% 8 gla!$e
a!1iously at y "at$h a!d the! the disebodied *oi$e fro the flight de$# a!!ou!$es,
GCabi! $re", doors to autoati$ a!d $ross $he$#%H
What does that ea!I &re they $losi!g the doorsI =y s$alp pri$#les as 8 sit i! palpitati!g
a!ti$ipatio!% The seat !e1t to e is the o!ly u!o$$upied o!e i! the si1tee!9seat $abi!% The pla!e
@olts as it pulls a"ay fro its sta!d, a!d 8 breathe a sigh of relief but feel a fai!t ti!gle of
disappoi!te!t tooL !o Christia! for four days% 8 ta#e a s!ea# pee# at y 0la$#0erry%
)rom: Christia! >rey
S1b2ect: E!@oy it While Jou Ca!
"ate: =ay 20 2011 22:24
$o: &!astasia Steele
<ear =iss Steele
8 #!o" "hat youre tryi!g to do C a!d trust e C you*e su$$eeded% +e1t tie youll be i! the
$argo hold, bou!d a!d gagged i! a $rate% 0elie*e e "he! 8 say that atte!di!g to you i! that state
"ill gi*e e so u$h ore pleasure tha! erely upgradi!g your ti$#et%
8 loo# for"ard to your retur!%
Christia! >rey
.al9T"it$hi!g CE/, >rey E!terprises 3oldi!gs 8!$%
7oly crap. Thats the proble "ith Christia!s huor C 8 $a! be !e*er be sure if hes @o#i!g
or if hes seriously a!gry% 8 suspe$t o! this o$$asio! hes seriously a!gry% Surreptitiously, so the
flight atte!da!t $a!t see, 8 type a reply u!der the bla!#et%
)rom: &!astasia Steele
S1b2ect: Jo#i!gI
"ate: =ay 20 2011 22:20
$o: Christia! >rey
Jou see C 8 ha*e !o idea if youre @o#i!g C a!d if youre !ot C the! 8 thi!# 8ll stay i! >eorgia%
Crates are a hard liit for e% Sorry 8 ade you ad% Tell e you forgi*e e%
&
)rom: Christia! >rey
S1b2ect: Jo#i!g
"ate: =ay 20 2011 22:21
$o: &!astasia Steele
3o" $a! you be eaili!gI &re you ris#i!g the life of e*eryo!e o! board, i!$ludi!g yourself,
by usi!g your 0la$#0erryI 8 thi!# that $o!tra*e!es o!e of the rules%
Christia! >rey
T"o .als T"it$hi!g CE/, >rey E!terprises 3oldi!gs 8!$%
1wo palms& 8 put y 0la$#0erry a"ay, sit ba$# "hile the pla!e ta1is to the ru!"ay, a!d pull
out y tattered $opy of Tess C soe light readi!g for the @our!ey% /!$e "ere airbor!e, 8 tip y seat
ba$#, a!d soo! 8 drifti!g off to sleep%
The flight atte!da!t "a#es e as "e start our des$e!t i!to &tla!ta% Lo$al tie is 4:S4
a%%, but 8*e o!ly had four hours sleep or soL 8 feel groggy, but grateful for the glass of
ora!ge @ui$e she ha!ds e% 8 gla!$e !er*ously at y 0la$#0erry% There are !o further eails fro
Christia!% Well, its !early three i! the or!i!g i! Seattle, a!d he probably "a!ts to dis$ourage e
fro s$re"i!g up the a*io!i$s syste, or "hate*er pre*e!ts pla!es fro flyi!g if obile pho!es are
s"it$hed o!%
The "ait i! &tla!ta is o!ly a! hour% &!d agai! 8 lu1uriati!g i! the $o!fi!es of the first $lass
lou!ge% 8 a tepted to $url up a!d go to sleep o! o!e of the plush, i!*iti!g $ou$hes that si!# softly
u!der y "eight% 0ut it "ill @ust !ot be lo!g e!ough% To #eep yself a"a#e, 8 start a lo!g stea of
$o!s$ious!ess to Christia! o! y laptop%
)rom: &!astasia Steele
S1b2ect: <o you li#e to s$are eI
"ate: =ay 21 2011 0(:42 EST
$o: Christia! >rey
Jou #!o" ho" u$h 8 disli#e you spe!di!g o!ey o! e% Jes, youre *ery ri$h, but still it
a#es e u!$ofortable, li#e youre payi!g e for se1% 3o"e*er, 8 li#e tra*eli!g first $lass, its so
u$h ore $i*iliFed tha! $oa$h% So tha!# you% 8 ea! it C a!d 8 did e!@oy the assage fro Jea!
.aul% 3e "as *ery gay% 8 oitted that bit i! y eail to you to "i!d you up, be$ause 8 "as a!!oyed
"ith you, a!d 8 sorry about that%
0ut as usual you o*errea$t% Jou $a!t "rite thi!gs li#e that to e C bou!d a!d gagged i! a
$rate C ,Were you serious or "as it a @o#eI- That s$ares eL you s$are eL 8 a $opletely
$aught up i! your spell, $o!sideri!g a lifestyle "ith you that 8 did!t e*e! #!o" e1isted u!til last
Saturday "ee#, a!d the! you "rite soethi!g li#e that a!d 8 "a!t to ru! s$reai!g i!to the hills% 8
"o!t, of $ourse, be$ause 8d iss you% Deally iss you% 8 "a!t us to "or#, but 8 a terrified of the
depth of feeli!g 8 ha*e for you a!d the dar# path youre leadi!g e do"!% What you are offeri!g is
eroti$ a!d se1y, a!d 8 $urious, but 8 also s$ared youll hurt e C physi$ally a!d eotio!ally%
&fter three o!ths you $ould say goodbye, a!d "here "ill that lea*e e if you doI 0ut the! 8
suppose that ris# is there i! a!y relatio!ship% This @ust is!t the sort of relatio!ship 8 e*er e!*isaged
ha*i!g, espe$ially as y first% 8ts a huge leap of faith for e%
Jou "ere right "he! you said 8 did!t ha*e a subissi*e bo!e i! y bodyL a!d 8 agree "ith
you !o"% 3a*i!g said that, 8 "a!t to be "ith you, a!d if thats "hat 8 ha*e to do, 8 "ould li#e to try,
but 8 thi!# 8ll su$# at it a!d e!d up bla$# a!d blue C a!d 8 do!t relish that idea at all%
8 a so happy that you ha*e said that you "ill try ore% 8 @ust !eed to thi!# about "hat
More ea!s to e, a!d thats o!e of the reaso!s "hy 8 "a!ted soe dista!$e% Jou daFFle e
so u$h 8 fi!d it *ery diffi$ult to thi!# $learly "he! "ere together%
They are $alli!g y flight% 8 ha*e to go%
=ore later
Jour &!a
8 press se!d a!d a#e y "ay sleepily to the departure gate to board a differe!t pla!e%
This o!e has o!ly si1 seats i! first $lass, a!d o!$e "e are i! the air, 8 $url up u!der y soft
bla!#et a!d fall asleep%
&ll too soo!, 8 "o#e! by the flight atte!da!t offeri!g e ore ora!ge @ui$e as "e begi!
our approa$h to Sa*a!!ah 8!ter!atio!al% 8 sip slo"ly, beyo!d fatigued, a!d 8 allo" yself to feel a
odi$u of e1$itee!t% 8 goi!g to see y other for the first tie i! si1 o!ths% S!ea#i!g
a!other $o*ert loo# at y 0la$#0erry, 8 reeber *aguely that 8 se!t a lo!g rabli!g eail to
Christia! C but theres !othi!g i! respo!se% 8ts fi*e i! the or!i!g i! Seattle C hopefully hes still
asleep a!d !ot up playi!g our!ful lae!ts o! his pia!o%
The beauty of $arry9o! ru$#sa$#s is that o!e $a! breeFe out of the airport a!d !ot "ait
e!dlessly for baggage at the $arousels% The beauty of tra*eli!g first $lass is that they let you off the
pla!e first%
=y o is "aiti!g "ith 0ob, a!d it is so good to see the% 8 do!t #!o" if its be$ause of
e1haustio!, the lo!g @our!ey, or the "hole Christia! situatio!, but as soo! as 8 i! y others
ars, 8 burst i!to tears%
G/h &!a, ho!ey% Jou ust be so tired%H She gla!$es a!1iously at 0ob%
G+o =o, its @ust C 8 so pleased to see you%H 8 hug her tightly%
She feels so good a!d "el$oi!g a!d hoe% Delu$ta!tly, 8 reli!Buish her, a!d 0ob gi*es e
a! a"#"ard o!e9ared hug% 3e sees u!steady o! his feet, a!d 8 reeber that hes hurt his leg%
GWel$oe ba$#, &!a% Why you $ryi!IH he as#s%
G&", 0ob, 8 @ust pleased to see you too%H 8 stare up i!to his ha!dsoe sBuare9@a"ed fa$e,
a!d his t"i!#li!g blue eyes that gaFe at e fo!dly% 8 li#e this husba!d, =o% Jou $a! #eep hi% 3e
ta#es y ba$#pa$#%
GJeeF, &!a, "hat ha*e you got i! hereIH
That "ill be the =a$, a!d they both put their ars arou!d e as "e head for the par#i!g lot%
8 al"ays forget ho" u!bearably hot it is i! Sa*a!!ah% Lea*i!g the $ool air9$o!ditio!ed
$o!fi!es of the arri*al teri!al, "e step i!to the >eorgia heat li#e "ere "eari!g it% #hoa&
8t saps e*erythi!g% 8 ha*e to struggle out of =o a!d 0obs ebra$e so 8 $a! reo*e y
hoodie% 8 a so glad 8 pa$#ed shorts% 8 iss the dry heat of Aegas soeties, "here 8 li*ed "ith
=o a!d 0ob "he! 8 "as se*e!tee!, but this "et heat, e*e! at ):20 i! the or!i!g, ta#es soe
getti!g used to% 0y the tie 8 i! the ba$# of 0obs "o!derfully air9$o!ditio!ed Tahoe S5A, 8 feel
lip, a!d y hair has started a friFFy protest at the heat%
8! the ba$# of the S5A 8 Bui$#ly te1t Day, Eate, a!d Christia!:
*Arrived Safely in Savanna!4 A :7*
=y thoughts stray briefly to JosNO222P as 8 press se!d, a!d through the fog of y fatigue, 8
reeber that its his sho" !e1t "ee#% Should 8 i!*ite Christia! #!o"i!g ho" he feels about
JosNO222PI Will Christia! still "a!t to see e after that eailI 8 shudder at the thought, a!d the!
put it out of y i!d% 8ll deal "ith that later% Dight !o" 8 a goi!g to e!@oy y os $opa!y%
G3o!ey, you ust be tired% Would you li#e to sleep "he! "e get hoeIH
G+o, =o% 8d li#e to go to the bea$h%H
8 a i! y blue halter !e$# ta!#i!i, sippi!g a <iet Co#e, o! a su! bed fa$i!g the &tla!ti$
/$ea!, a!d to thi!# that o!ly yesterday 8 "as stari!g out at the Sou!d to"ard the .a$ifi$%
=y other lou!ges beside e i! a ridi$ulously large floppy su! hat a!d Ja$#ie / shades,
sippi!g a Co#e of her o"!% We are o! Tybee 8sla!d 0ea$h, @ust three blo$#s fro hoe%
She holds y ha!d% =y fatigue has "a!ed, a!d as 8 soa# up the su!, 8 feel $ofortable, safe,
a!d "ar% For the first tie i! fore*er, 8 start to rela1%
GSo &!aL tell e about this a! "ho has you i! su$h a spi!%H
%pin& 3o" $a! she tellI What to sayI 8 $a!t tal# about Christia! i! a!y great detail be$ause
of the +<&, but e*e! the!, "ould 8 $hoose to tal# to y other about itI 8 bla!$h at the thought%
GWellIH she propts a!d sBueeFes y ha!d%
G3is !aes Christia!% 3es beyo!d ha!dsoe% 3es "ealthyL too "ealthy% 3es *ery
$opli$ated a!d er$urial%H
Jes C 8 feel i!ordi!ately pleased "ith y $o!$ise, a$$urate suary% 8 tur! o! y side to fa$e
her, @ust as she a#es the sae o*e% She gaFes at e "ith her $rystal9$lear blue eyes%
GCopli$ated a!d er$urial are the t"o pie$es of i!foratio! 8 "a!t to $o!$e!trate o!, &!a%H
Oh no0
G/h, =o, his ood9s"i!gs a#e e diFFy% 3es had a gri upbri!gi!g, so hes *ery $losed,
diffi$ult to gauge%H
G<o you li#e hiIH
G8 ore tha! li#e hi%H
GDeallyIH She gapes at e%
GJes, =o%H
G=e! are!t really $opli$ated, &!a, ho!ey% They are *ery siple, literal $reatures%
They usually ea! "hat they say% &!d "e spe!d hours tryi!g to a!alyFe "hat they*e said
C "he! really its ob*ious% 8f 8 "ere you, 8d ta#e hi literally% That ight help%H
8 gape at her% This sou!ds li#e good ad*i$e% Ta#e Christia! literally% 8ediately soe of the
thi!gs hes said spri!g i!to y i!d%
I don*t want to lose you0
)ou*6e ,ewitched me0
)ou*6e completely ,eguiled me0
I*ll miss you too0 more than you (now...
8 gaFe at y o% She is o! her fourth arriage% =aybe she does #!o" soethi!g about
e! after all%
G=ost e! are oody darli!g, soe ore tha! others% Ta#e your father for i!sta!$eL,H 3er
eyes softe! a!d sadde! "he!e*er she thi!#s of y dad% =y real dad, this ythi$al a! 8 !e*er
#!e", s!at$hed so $ruelly fro us i! a $obat trai!i!g a$$ide!t "he! he "as a ari!e% .art of e
thi!#s y o has bee! loo#i!g for soeo!e li#e y dad all this tieL aybe shes fi!ally fou!d
"hat shes loo#i!g for i! 0ob% .ity she $ould!t fi!d it "ith Day%
G8 used to thi!# your father "as oody% 0ut !o" "he! 8 loo# ba$#, 8 @ust thi!# he "as too
$aught up i! his @ob a!d tryi!g to a#e a life for us%H She sighs% G3e "as so you!g, "e both "ere%
=aybe that "as the issue%H
3L Christia! is !ot e1a$tly old% 8 sile fo!dly at her% She $a! be$oe *ery soulful
thi!#i!g about y father, but 8 sure he had !othi!g o! Christia!s oods%
G0ob "a!ts to ta#e us out to!ight for di!!er% To his golf $lub%H
G/h !oK 0obs started playi!g golfIH 8 s$off i! disbelief%
GTell e about it,H groa!s y other, rolli!g her eyes%
&fter a light lu!$h ba$# at the house, 8 start to u!pa$#% 8 a goi!g to treat yself to a si9esta%
=y other has disappeared to old soe $a!dles or "hate*er she does "ith the, a!d 0ob is at
"or#, so 8 ha*e tie to $at$h up o! soe sleep% 8 ope! the =a$ a!d fire it up%
8ts t"o i! the after!oo! i! >eorgia, ele*e! i! the or!i!g i! Seattle% 8 "o!der if 8 ha*e a
reply fro Christia!% +er*ously, 8 log i!to the eail progra%
)rom: Christia! >rey
S1b2ect: Fi!allyK
"ate: =ay 21 2011 07:20
$o: &!astasia Steele
&!astasia
8 a a!!oyed that as soo! as you put soe dista!$e bet"ee! us, you $ou!i$ate ope!ly a!d
ho!estly "ith e% Why $a!t you do that "he! "ere togetherI
Jes, 8 ri$h% >et used to it% Why should!t 8 spe!d o!ey o! youI We*e told your father
8 your boyfrie!d, for hea*e!s sa#e% 8s!t that "hat boyfrie!ds doI &s your <o, 8 "ould e1pe$t
you to a$$ept "hate*er 8 spe!d o! you "ith !o argue!t% 8!$ide!tally, tell your other too%
8 do!t #!o" ho" to a!s"er your $oe!t about feeli!g li#e a "hore% 8 #!o" thats !ot "hat
you*e "ritte!, but its "hat you iply% 8 do!t #!o" "hat 8 $a! say or do to eradi$ate these
feeli!gs% 8d li#e you to ha*e the best of e*erythi!g% 8 "or# e1$eptio!ally hard, so 8 $a! spe!d y
o!ey as 8 see fit% 8 $ould buy you your hearts desire, &!astasia, a!d 8 "a!t to% Call it
redistributio! of "ealth if you "ill% /r siply #!o" that 8 "ould !ot, $ould !ot e*er thi!# of you i!
the "ay you des$ribed, a!d 8 a!gry thats ho" you per$ei*e yourself% For su$h a bright, "itty,
beautiful you!g "oa! you ha*e soe real self9estee issues, a!d 8 ha*e a half a i!d to a#e a!
appoi!te!t for you "ith <r% Fly!!%
8 apologiFe for frighte!i!g you% 8 fi!d the thought of i!stilli!g fear i! you abhorre!t% <o you
really thi!# 8d let you tra*el i! the holdI 8 offered you y pri*ate @et for hea*e!s sa#e% Jes it "as a
@o#e, a poor o!e ob*iously% 3o"e*er, the fa$t is C the thought of you bou!d a!d gagged tur!s e o!
,this is !ot a @o#e C its true-% 8 $a! lose the $rate C $rates do !othi!g for e% 8 #!o" you ha*e issues
"ith gaggi!g, "e*e tal#ed about that a!d if?
"he! 8 do gag you, "ell dis$uss it% What 8 thi!# you fail to realiFe is that i! <o?sub
relatio!ships it is the sub that has all the po"er% Thats you% 8ll repeat this C you are the o!e "ith all
the po"er% +ot 8% 8! the boathouse you said !o% 8 $a!t tou$h you if you say !o C thats "hy "e ha*e
a! agreee!t C "hat you "ill a!d "o!t do% 8f "e try thi!gs a!d you do!t li#e the, "e $a! re*ise
the agreee!t% 8ts up to you C !ot e% &!d if you do!t "a!t to be bou!d a!d gagged i! a $rate,
the! it "o!t happe!%
8 "a!t to share y lifestyle "ith you% 8 ha*e !e*er "a!ted a!ythi!g so u$h% Fra!#ly 8 i!
a"e of you, that o!e so i!!o$e!t "ould be "illi!g to try% That says ore to e tha! you $ould e*er
#!o"% Jou fail to see 8 a $aught i! your spell, too, e*e! though 8 ha*e told you this $ou!tless
ties% 8 do!t "a!t to lose you% 8 a !er*ous that you*e flo"! three thousa!d iles to get a"ay
fro e for a fe" days, be$ause you $a!t thi!# $learly arou!d e% 8ts the sae for e &!astasia%
=y reaso! *a!ishes "he! "ere together C
thats the depth of y feeli!g for you%
8 u!dersta!d your trepidatio!% 8 did try to stay a"ay fro youP 8 #!e" you "ere
i!e1perie!$ed, though 8 "ould !e*er ha*e pursued you if 8 had #!o"! e1a$tly ho" i!!o$e!t you
"ere C a!d yet you still a!age to disar e $opletely i! a "ay that !obody has before% Jour
eail for e1aple: 8 ha*e read a!d re9read it $ou!tless ties tryi!g to u!dersta!d your poi!t of
*ie"% Three o!ths is a! arbitrary aou!t of tie% We $ould a#e it si1 o!ths, a yearI 3o" lo!g
do you "a!t it to beI What "ould a#e you $ofortableI
Tell e%
8 u!dersta!d that this is a huge leap of faith for you% 8 ha*e to ear! your trust, but by the sae
to#e!, you ha*e to $ou!i$ate "ith e "he! 8 a faili!g to do this% Jou see so stro!g a!d self9
$o!tai!ed, a!d the! 8 read "hat you*e "ritte! here, a!d 8 see a!other side to you% We ha*e to guide
ea$h other &!astasia, a!d 8 $a! o!ly ta#e y $ues fro you% Jou ha*e to be ho!est "ith e, a!d "e
ha*e to both fi!d a "ay to a#e this arra!gee!t "or#%
Jou "orry about !ot bei!g subissi*e% Well aybe thats true% 3a*i!g said that, the o!ly
tie you do assue the $orre$t deea!or for a sub is i! the playroo% 8t sees thats the o!e
pla$e "here you let e e1er$ise proper $o!trol o*er you, a!d the o!ly pla$e you do as youre told%
E1eplary is the ter that $oes to i!d% &!d 8d !e*er beat you bla$# a!d blue% 8 ai for pi!#%
/utside the playroo, 8 li#e that you $halle!ge e% 8ts a *ery !o*el a!d refreshi!g e1perie!$e, a!d
8 "ould!t "a!t to $ha!ge that% So yes, tell e "hat you "a!t i! ters of ore% 8 "ill e!dea*or to
#eep a! ope! i!d, a!d 8 shall try a!d gi*e you the spa$e you !eed a!d stay a"ay fro you "hile
you are i! >eorgia% 8 loo# for"ard to your !e1t eail%
8! the ea!tie, e!@oy yourself% 0ut !ot too u$h%
Christia! >rey
CE/, >rey E!terprises 3oldi!gs 8!$%
7oly crap. 3es "ritte! a! essay li#e "ere ba$# at s$hool C and most of it good. =y heart
is i! y outh as 8 re9read his epistle, a!d 8 huddle o! the spare bed pra$ti$ally huggi!g y =a$%
=a#e our agreee!t a yearI 8 ha*e the po"erK JeeF, 8 goi!g to ha*e to thi!# about that% 1a(e him
literally thats "hat y other says% 3e does!t "a!t to lose e%
3es said that t"i$eK 3e "a!ts to a#e this "or# too% Oh Christian so do I& 3es goi!g to
try a!d stay a"ayK <oes this ea! he ight fail to stay a"ayI Sudde!ly, 8 hope so% 8 "a!t to see
hi% We*e bee! apart less tha! t"e!ty9four hours, a!d #!o"i!g that 8 $a!t see hi for four days, 8
realiFe ho" u$h 8 iss hi% 3o" u$h 8 lo*e hi%
G&!a, ho!ey%H The *oi$e is soft a!d "ar, full of lo*e a!d s"eet eories of ties go!e by%
& ge!tle ha!d brushes y fa$e% =y o "a#es e, a!d 8 "rapped arou!d y laptop, huggi!g it
to e%
G&!a, s"eetheart,H she $o!ti!ues i! her soft si!gso!g *oi$e "hile 8 surfa$e fro sleep,
bli!#i!g i! the pale pi!# light of dus#%
G3i, =o%H 8 stret$h out a!d sile%
GWere goi!g out for di!!er i! thirty i!utes% Jou still "a!t to $oeIH she as#s #i!dly%
G/h, yes, =o, of $ourse%H 8 try *ery hard, but fail to stifle y ya"!%
G+o" thats a! ipressi*e pie$e of te$h!ology%H She poi!ts to y laptop%
Oh crap.
G/hL thisIH 8 stri*e for $asual, surprised !o!$hala!$e%
Will =o !oti$eI She sees to ha*e gro"! ore astute si!$e 8 a$Buired a Mboyfrie!d%
GChristia! le!t it to e% 8 thi!# 8 $ould pilot the spa$e shuttle "ith it, but 8 @ust use it for
eails a!d 8!ter!et a$$ess%H
Really it*s nothing. Eyei!g e suspi$iously, she sits do"! o! the bed a!d tu$#s a stray lo$#
of hair behi!d y ear%
G3as he eailed youIH
Oh dou,le crap.
GJeah%H =y !o!$hala!$e is "eari!g thi!, a!d 8 flush%
G.erhaps hes issi!g you, huhIH
G8 hope so, =o%H
GWhat does he sayIH
Oh triple crap. 8 fra!ti$ally try to thi!# of soethi!g a$$eptable fro that eail 8 $a! tell y
other% 8 sure she does!t "a!t to hear about <os a!d bo!dage a!d gaggi!g, but the! 8 $a!t
tell her be$ause theres the +<&%
G3es told e to e!@oy yself, but !ot too u$h%H
GSou!ds reaso!able% 8ll lea*e you to get ready, ho!ey%H Lea!i!g o*er, she #isses y forehead%
G8 so glad youre here, &!a% 8ts "o!derful to see you%H &!d "ith that lo*i!g statee!t, she
lea*es%
7mm Christian and reasona,le L t"o $o!$epts that 8 thought "ere utually e1$lusi*e, but
after his eail, aybe all thi!gs are possible% 8 sha#e y head% 8 "ill !eed tie to digest his "ords%
.robably after di!!er C a!d 8 $a! reply to hi the!% 8 $lib out of bed a!d Bui$#ly slip out of y t9
shirt a!d shorts, a!d head to the sho"er%
8 ha*e brought Eates gray halter9!e$# dress that 8 "ore for y graduatio!% 8ts the o!ly
dressy ite 8 ha*e% /!e good thi!g about the heat is that the $reases ha*e dropped out, so 8 thi!# it
"ill do for the golf $lub% &s 8 dress, 8 "a#e the laptop up% There is !othi!g !e" fro Christia!, a!d
8 feel a stab of disappoi!te!t% Aery Bui$#ly, 8 type hi a! eail%
)rom: &!astasia Steele
S1b2ect: AerboseI
"ate: =ay 21 2011 1':0) EST
$o: Christia! >rey
Sir, you are Buite the loBua$ious "riter% 8 ha*e to go to di!!er at 0obs golf $lub, a!d @ust so
you #!o", 8 a rolli!g y eyes at the thought% 0ut you a!d your t"it$hy pal are a lo!g "ay fro
e so y behi!d is safe, for !o"% 8 lo*ed your eail% Will respo!d "he! 8 $a!% 8 iss you already%
E!@oy your after!oo!%
Jour &!a
)rom: Christia! >rey
S1b2ect: Jour behi!d
"ate: =ay 21 2011 1(:10
$o: &!astasia Steele
<ear =iss Steele
8 a distra$ted by the title of this eail% +eedless to say it is safe C for !o"%
E!@oy your di!!er, a!d 8 iss you too, espe$ially your behi!d a!d your sart outh%
=y after!oo! "ill be dull, brighte!ed o!ly by thoughts of you a!d your eye rolli!g% 8 thi!# it
"as you "ho so @udi$iously poi!ted out to e that 8 too suffer fro that !asty habit%
Christia! >rey
CE/ N Eye Doller, >rey E!terprises 3oldi!gs 8!$%
)rom: &!astasia Steele
S1b2ect: Eye Dolli!g
"ate: =ay 21 2011 1':1S EST
$o: Christia! >rey
<ear =r% >rey
Stop eaili!g e% 8 a tryi!g to get ready for di!!er% Jou are *ery distra$ti!g, e*e! "he! you
are o! the other side of the $o!ti!e!t% &!d yes C "ho spa!#s you "he! you roll your eyesI
Jour &!a
8 press se!d, a!d iediately the iage of that e*il "it$h =rs% Dobi!so! $oes i!to y
i!d% 8 @ust $a!t pi$ture it% Christia! bei!g beate! by soeo!e as old as y other, its @ust so
"ro!g% &gai! 8 "o!der "hat daage shes "rought% =y outh sets i! a hard gri li!e% 8 !eed a
doll to sti$# pi!s i!, aybe that "ay 8 $a! *e!t soe of the a!ger 8 feel at this stra!ger%
)rom: Christia! >rey
S1b2ect: Jour behi!d
"ate: =ay 21 2011 1(:1)
$o: &!astasia Steele
<ear =iss Steele
8 still prefer y title to yours, i! so a!y differe!t "ays% 8t is lu$#y that 8 a aster of y
o"! desti!y a!d !o o!e $astigates e% E1$ept y other o$$asio!ally a!d <r% Fly!!, of $ourse%
&!d you%
Christia! >rey
CE/, >rey E!terprises 3oldi!gs 8!$%
)rom: &!astasia Steele
S1b2ect: Chastisi!gL =eI
"ate: =ay 21 2011 1':22 EST
$o: Christia! >rey
<ear Sir
Whe! ha*e 8 e*er plu$#ed up the !er*e to $hastise you, =r% >reyI 8 thi!# you are i1i!g e
up "ith soeo!e elseL "hi$h is *ery "orryi!g% 8 really do ha*e to get ready%
Jour &!a
)rom: Christia! >rey
S1b2ect: Jour behi!d
"ate: =ay 21 2011 1(:24
$o: &!astasia Steele
<ear =iss Steele
Jou do it all the tie i! pri!t% Ca! 8 Fip up your dressI
Christia! >rey
CE/, >rey E!terprises 3oldi!gs 8!$%
For soe u!#!o"! reaso!, his "ords leap out of the page a!d a#e e gasp% /hL he "a!ts
to play gaes%
)rom: &!astasia Steele
S1b2ect: +C917
"ate: =ay 21 2011 1':2) EST
$o: Christia! >rey
8 "ould rather you u!Fipped it%
)rom: Christia! >rey
S1b2ect: Careful "hat you "ish forL
"ate: =ay 21 2011 1(:21
$o: &!astasia Steele
S/ W/5L< 8%
Christia! >rey
CE/, >rey E!terprises 3oldi!gs 8!$%
)rom: &!astasia Steele
S1b2ect: .a!ti!g
"ate: =ay 21 2011 1':22 EST
$o: Christia! >rey
Slo"lyL
)rom: Christia! >rey
S1b2ect: >roa!i!g
"ate: =ay 21 2011 1(:24
$o: &!astasia Steele
Wish 8 "as there%
Christia! >rey
CE/, >rey E!terprises 3oldi!gs 8!$%
)rom: &!astasia Steele
S1b2ect: =oa!i!g
"ate: =ay 21 2011 1':27 EST
$o: Christia! >rey
S/ </ 8
G&!aKH =y other $alls e, a#i!g e @up% %hit. Why do 8 feel so guiltyI
GJust $oi!g, =o%H
)rom: &!astasia Steele
S1b2ect: =oa!i!g
"ate: =ay 21 2011 1':2' EST
$o: Christia! >rey
>otta go%
Laters, baby%
8 dash i!to the hall "here 0ob a!d y other are "aiti!g% =y other fro"!s%
G<arli!g 9 are you feeli!g o#I Jou loo# at bit flushed%H
G=o, 8 fi!e%H
GJou loo# lo*ely, dear%H
G/h, this is Eates dress% Jou li#e itIH
3er fro"! deepe!s%
GWhy are you "eari!g Eates dressIH
Oh0 no.
GWell 8 li#e this o!e a!d she does!t,H 8 ipro*ise Bui$#ly%
She regards e shre"dly "hile 0ob ooFes ipatie!$e "ith his ha!gdog, hu!gry loo#%
G8ll ta#e you shoppi!g toorro",H she says%
G/h, =o, you do!t !eed to do that% 8 ha*e ple!ty of $lothes%H
GCa!t 8 do soethi!g for y o"! daughterI Coe o!, 0obs star*i!g%H
GToo right,H oa!s 0ob, rubbi!g his stoa$h a!d assui!g a fa#e pai!ed e1pressio!%
8 giggle as he rolls his eyes, a!d "e head out the door%
Later "he! 8 i! the sho"er, $ooli!g u!der the lu#e"ar "ater, 8 refle$t o! ho" u$h y
other has $ha!ged% Seei!g her at di!!er, she "as i! her elee!t, fu!!y a!d flirty a!d ao!gst
a!y frie!ds at the golf $lub% 0ob "as "ar a!d atte!ti*eL they see so good for ea$h other% 8
really pleased for her% 8t ea!s 8 $a! stop "orryi!g about her a!d se$o!d9guessi!g her de$isio!s a!d
put the dar# days of 3usba!d +uber Three behi!d us both% 0ob is a #eeper% &!d shes gi*i!g e
good ad*i$e% #hen did that start happening.
Si!$e 8 et Christia!% #hy is that.
Whe! 8 do!e, 8 dry yself Bui$#ly, #ee! to get ba$# to Christia!% Theres a! eail "aiti!g
for e, se!t @ust after 8 left for di!!er a fe" hours ago%
)rom: Christia! >rey
S1b2ect: .lagiaris
"ate: =ay 21 2011 1(:S1
$o: &!astasia Steele
Jou stole y li!e%
&!d left e ha!gi!g%
E!@oy your di!!er%
Christia! >rey
CE/, >rey E!terprises 3oldi!gs 8!$%
)rom: &!astasia Steele
S1b2ect: Who are you to $ry thiefI
"ate: =ay 21 2011 22:1) EST
$o: Christia! >rey
Sir, 8 thi!# youll fi!d it "as Elliots li!e origi!ally%
3a!gi!g ho"I
Jour &!a
)rom: Christia! >rey
S1b2ect: 5!fi!ished 0usi!ess
"ate: =ay 21 2011 1':22
$o: &!astasia Steele
=iss Steele
Joure ba$#% Jou left so sudde!ly 9 @ust "he! thi!gs "ere getti!g i!teresti!g%
Elliots !ot *ery origi!al% 3ell ha*e stole! that li!e fro soeo!e%
3o" "as di!!erI
Christia! >rey
CE/, >rey E!terprises 3oldi!gs 8!$%
)rom: &!astasia Steele
S1b2ect: 5!fi!ished 0usi!essI
"ate: =ay 21 2011 22:2( EST
$o: Christia! >rey
<i!!er "as filli!g C youll be *ery pleased to hear, 8 ate far too u$h%
>etti!g i!teresti!gI 3o"I
)rom: Christia! >rey
S1b2ect: 5!fi!ished 0usi!ess 9 defi!itely
"ate: =ay 21 2011 1':20
$o: &!astasia Steele
&re you bei!g deliberately obtuseI 8 thi!# youd @ust as#ed e to u!Fip your dress%
&!d 8 "as loo#i!g for"ard to doi!g @ust that% 8 a also glad to hear you are eati!g%
Christia! >rey
CE/, >rey E!terprises 3oldi!gs 8!$%
)rom: &!astasia Steele
S1b2ect: WellL theres al"ays the "ee#e!d
"ate: =ay 21 2011 22:2( EST
$o: Christia! >rey
/f $ourse 8 eatL 8ts o!ly the u!$ertai!ty 8 feel arou!d you that puts e off y food%
&!d 8 "ould !e*er be u!"itti!gly obtuse, =r% >rey%
Surely you*e "or#ed that out by !o" P-
)rom: Christia! >rey
S1b2ect: Ca!t Wait
"ate: =ay 21 2011 1':S0
$o: &!astasia Steele
8 shall reeber that, =iss Steele, a!d !o doubt use the #!o"ledge to y ad*a!tage%
8 sorry to hear that 8 put you off your food% 8 thought 8 had a ore $o!$upis$e!t effe$t o!
you% That has bee! y e1perie!$e, a!d ost pleasurable it has bee! too%
8 *ery u$h loo# for"ard to the !e1t tie%
Christia! >rey
CE/, >rey E!terprises 3oldi!gs 8!$%
)rom: &!astasia Steele
S1b2ect: >y!asti$ Li!guisti$s
"ate: =ay 21 2011 22:2( EST
$o: Christia! >rey
3a*e you bee! playi!g "ith the thesaurus agai!I
)rom: Christia! >rey
S1b2ect: Dubled
"ate: =ay 21 2011 1':S0
$o: &!astasia Steele
Jou #!o" e so "ell =iss Steele%
8 a ha*i!g di!!er "ith a! old frie!d !o" so 8 "ill be dri*i!g%
Laters, baby
Christia! >rey
CE/, >rey E!terprises 3oldi!gs 8!$%
#hich old friend. 8 did!t thi!# Christia! had a!y old frie!ds, e1$eptL her. 8 fro"! at the
s$ree!% Why does he ha*e to still see herI Seari!g, gree!, bilious @ealousy $ourses through e
u!e1pe$tedly% 8 "a!t to hit soethi!g, preferably =rs% Dobi!so!% S"it$hi!g the laptop off i! a
teper, 8 $laber i!to bed%
8 should really respo!d to his lo!g eail fro this or!i!g, but 8 sudde!ly too a!gry% Why
$a!t he see her for "hat she is C a $hild olesterI 8 s"it$h off the light, seethi!g, stari!g i!to the
dar#!ess% 3o" dare sheI 3o" dare she pi$# o! a *ul!erable adoles$e!tI 8s she still doi!g itI Why
did they stopI Aarious s$e!arios filter through y i!d: he had had e!ough, the! "hy is he still
frie!ds "ith herI <itto her C is she arriedI <i*or$edI JeeF C does she ha*e $hildre! of her o"!I
4oes she ha6e Christian*s children. =y sub$o!s$ious rears her ugly head, leeri!g, a!d 8
sho$#ed a!d !auseous at the thought% <oes <r% Fly!! #!o" about herI
8 struggle out of bed a!d fire the ea! a$hi!e up agai!% 8 a o! a issio!% 8 dru y
fi!gers ipatie!tly "aiti!g for the blue s$ree! to appear% 8 hit >oogle iages a!d e!ter MChristia!
>rey i!to the sear$h e!gi!e% The s$ree! is sudde!ly littered "ith iages of Christia!: i! bla$# tie,
be9suited, @eeF C JosNO222Ps pi$tures fro the 3eatha!, i! his "hite shirt a!d fla!!el trousers%
3o" did they get o! the 8!ter!etI 0oy he loo#s good%
8 o*e Bui$#ly o!: soe "ith busi!ess asso$iates, the! pi$ture after glorious pi$ture of the
ost photoge!i$ a! 8 #!o", i!tiately% Intimately. 4o I (now Christian intimately. 8 #!o" hi
se1ually, a!d 8 figure theres a lot ore to dis$o*er there% 8 #!o" hes oody, diffi$ult, fu!!y, $old,
"arL @eeF, the a! is a "al#i!g ass of $o!tradi$tio!s% 8 $li$# to the !e1t page% 3es still o! his
o"! i! all these photographs, a!d 8 reeber Eate e!tio!i!g that she $ould!t fi!d a!y
photographs of hi "ith a date, propti!g her gay Buestio!% The!, o! the third page, theres a
pi$ture of e, "ith hi, at y graduatio!% 3is o!ly pi$ture "ith a "oa!, a!d its e%
7oly cow& I*m on $oogle& 8 stare at us together% 8 loo# surprised by the $aera, !er*ous, off
bala!$e% This "as @ust before 8 agreed to try% For his part, Christia! loo#s ipossibly ha!dsoe,
$al a!d $olle$ted, a!d hes "eari!g that tie. 8 gaFe at hi, su$h a
beautiful fa$e, a beautiful fa$e that $ould be stari!g at =rs% <a!ed Dobi!so! right !o"% 8
sa*e the pi$ture i! y fa*orites a!d $li$# through all eightee! s$ree!sL !othi!g% 8 "o!t fi!d =rs%
Dobi!so! o! >oogle% 0ut 8 ha*e to #!o" if hes "ith her% 8 type a Bui$# eail to Christia!%
)rom: &!astasia Steele
S1b2ect: Suitable <i!!er Copa!io!s
"ate: =ay 21 2011 22:4) EST
$o: Christia! >rey
8 hope you a!d your frie!d had a *ery pleasa!t di!!er%
&!a
.S Was it =rs% Dobi!so!I
8 press se!d a!d $lib despo!de!tly ba$# i!to bed, resol*i!g to as# Christia! about his
relatio!ship "ith that "oa!% .art of e is desperate to #!o" ore, a!d a!other part "a!ts to
forget he e*er told e% &!d y period has started, so 8 ust reeber to ta#e y pill i! the
or!i!g% 8 Bui$#ly progra a! alar i!to the $ale!dar o! y 0la$#0erry% Setti!g it aside o! the
bedside table, 8 lie do"! a!d e*e!tually drift i!to a! u!easy sleep, "ishi!g that "e "ere i! the sae
$ity, !ot t"o a!d half thousa!d iles apart%
&fter a or!i!g of shoppi!g a!d a! after!oo! ba$# at the bea$h, y other has de$reed "e
should spe!d the e*e!i!g i! a bar% &ba!do!i!g 0ob to the TA, "e fi!d oursel*es i! the up9ar#et
bar of Sa*a!!ahs ost e1$lusi*e hotel% 8 a o! y se$o!d Cosopolita!% =y other is o! her
third% She is offeri!g ore i!sights i!to the fragile ale ego% 8ts *ery dis$o!$erti!g%
GJou see, &!a, e! thi!# that a!ythi!g that $oes out of a "oa!s outh is a proble to be
sol*ed% +ot soe *ague idea that "ed li#e to #i$# arou!d a!d tal# about for a "hile a!d the!
forget% =e! prefer a$tio!%H
G=o, "hy are telli!g e thisIH 8 as#, faili!g to hide y e1asperatio!% Shes bee! li#e this all
day%
G<arli!g, you sou!d so lost% Jou*e !e*er brought a boy hoe% Jou !e*er e*e! had a
boyfrie!d "he! "e "ere i! Aegas% 8 thought soethi!g ight de*elop "ith that guy you et i!
$ollege, JosNO222P%H
G=o, JosNO222Ps @ust a frie!d%H
G8 #!o", s"eetheart% 0ut soethi!gs up, a!d 8 do!t thi!# youre telli!g e e*erythi!g%H She
gaFes at e, her fa$e et$hed "ith otherly $o!$er!%
G8 @ust !eeded soe dista!$e fro Christia! to get y thoughts straightL thats all%
3e te!ds to o*er"hel e%H
G/*er"helIH
GJeah% 8 iss hi though%H 8 fro"!%
8 ha*e !ot heard fro Christia! all day% +o eails, !othi!g% 8 a tepted to $all hi to see if
hes o#ay% =y "orst fear is that hes bee! i! a $ar a$$ide!t, y se$o!d "orst fear is that =rs%
Dobi!so! has got her e*il $la"s i!to hi agai!% 8 #!o" its irratio!al, but "here
shes $o!$er!ed, 8 see to ha*e lost all se!se of perspe$ti*e%
G<arli!g, 8 ha*e to *isit the po"der roo%H
=y others brief abse!$e allo"s e a!other $ha!$e to $he$# y 0la$#0erry% 8 ha*e bee!
tryi!g surreptitiously to $he$# eails all day% Fi!ally C a respo!se fro Christia!K
)rom: Christia! >rey
S1b2ect: <i!!er Copa!io!s
"ate: Ju!e 1 2011 21:S0 EST
$o: &!astasia Steele
Jes, 8 had di!!er "ith =rs% Dobi!so!% She is @ust a! old frie!d, &!astasia%
Loo#i!g for"ard to seei!g you agai!% 8 iss you%
Christia! >rey
CE/, >rey E!terprises 3oldi!gs 8!$%
3e was ha*i!g di!!er "ith her% =y s$alp pri$#les as adre!ali!e a!d fury la!$e through y
body, all y "orst fears realiFed, $rashi!g through e% 7ow could he. 8 a a"ay for t"o days,
a!d he ru!s off to that e*il bit$h%
)rom: &!astasia Steele
S1b2ect: /L< <i!!er Copa!io!s
"ate: Ju!e 1 2011 21:S2 EST
$o: Christia! >rey
Shes !ot @ust a! old frie!d%
3as she fou!d a!other adoles$e!t boy to si!# her teeth i!toI
<id you get too old for herI
8s that the reaso! your relatio!ship fi!ishedI
8 press se!d as y other retur!s%
G&!a, youre so pale% Whats happe!edIH
8 sha#e y head%
G+othi!g% Lets ha*e a!other dri!#,H 8 utter ulishly%
3er bro" furro"s, but she gla!$es up a!d attra$ts the atte!tio! of o!e of the "aiters, poi!ti!g
to our glasses% 3e !ods% 3e u!dersta!ds the u!i*ersal la!guage of Msae agai!, please% &s she does,
8 Bui$#ly gla!$e at y 0la$#0erry%
)rom: Christia! >rey
S1b2ect: CarefulL
"ate: Ju!e 1 2011 21:S4 EST
$o: &!astasia Steele
This is !ot soethi!g 8 "ish to dis$uss *ia eail%
3o" a!y Cosopolita!s are you goi!g to dri!#I
Christia! >rey
CE/, >rey E!terprises 3oldi!gs 8!$%
7oly fuc( he*s here.
8 gla!$e !er*ously arou!d the bar but $a!!ot see hi%
G&!a, "hat is itI Jou loo# li#e you*e see! a ghost%H
G8ts Christia!, hes here%H
GWhatI DeallyIH She gla!$es arou!d the bar too%
8 ha*e !egle$ted to e!tio! Christia!s stal#er te!de!$ies to y o%
8 see hi% =y heart leaps, begi!!i!g a @udderi!g thupi!g beat as he a#es his "ay to"ard
us% 7e*s really here 2 for me. =y i!!er goddess leaps up $heeri!g fro her $haise lo!gue% =o*i!g
soothly through the $ro"d, his hair gli!ts bur!ished $opper a!d red u!der the re$essed haloge!s%
3is bright gray eyes are shi!i!g "ith C a!gerI Te!sio!I 3is outh is set i! a gri li!e, @a" te!se%
Oh holy shit0 no. 8 a so ad at hi right !o", a!d here he is% 3o" $a! 8 be a!gry "ith hi i!
fro!t of y otherI
3e arri*es at our table, gaFi!g at e "arily% 3es dressed i! $ustoary "hite li!e! shirt a!d
@ea!s%
G3i,H 8 sBuea#, u!able to hide y sho$# a!d a"e at seei!g hi here i! the flesh%
G3i,H he replies, a!d lea!i!g do"!, he #isses y $hee#, ta#i!g e by surprise%
GChristia!, this is y other, Carla%H =y i!grai!ed a!!ers ta#e o*er%
3e tur!s to greet y o%
G=rs% &das, 8 a delighted to eet you%H
7ow does he (now her name. 3e gi*es her the heart9stoppi!g, Christia! >rey pate!ted, full9
blo"!9!o9priso!ers9ta#e! sile% She does!t ha*e a hope% =y others lo"er @a" pra$ti$ally hits
the table% =ee: get a grip Mom. She ta#es his proffered ha!d a!d they sha#e% =y other has!t
replied% /h, $oplete dubfou!ded spee$hless!ess is ge!eti$
C 8 had !o idea%
GChristia!,H she a!ages fi!ally, breathlessly%
3e siles #!o"i!gly at her, his gray eyes t"i!#li!g% 8 !arro" y eyes at the both%
GWhat are you doi!g hereIH =y Buestio! sou!ds ore brittle tha! 8 ea!, a!d his sile
disappears, his e1pressio! !o" guarded% 8 a thrilled to see hi, but $opletely thro"! off
bala!$e, y a!ger about =rs% Dobi!so! sieri!g through y *ei!s% 8 do!t #!o" if 8 "a!t to
shout at hi or thro" yself i!to his ars C but 8 do!t thi!# hed li#e either C a!d 8 "a!t to #!o"
ho" lo!g he has bee! "at$hi!g us% 8 also a little a!1ious about the eail 8 @ust se!t hi%
G8 $ae to see you, of $ourse%H 3e gaFes do"! at e ipassi*ely% Oh what is he thin(ing.
G8 stayi!g i! this hotel%H
GJoure stayi!g hereIH 8 sou!d li#e a sophoore o! aphetai!es, too high9pit$hed e*e! for
y o"! ears%
GWell, yesterday you said you "ished 8 "as here%H 3e pauses tryi!g to gauge y rea$tio!%
GWe ai to please, =iss Steele%H 3is *oi$e is Buiet "ith !o tra$e of huor%
Crap 2 Is he mad. =aybe the =rs% Dobi!so! $oe!tsI /r the fa$t that 8 a o! y third,
soo! to be fourth CosoI =y other is gla!$i!g a!1iously at the t"o of us%
GWo!t you @oi! us for a dri!#, Christia!IH She "a*es to the "aiter "ho is at her side i! a
!a!ose$o!d%
G8ll ha*e a gi! a!d to!i$,H Christia! says% G3e!dri$#s if you ha*e it or 0obay Sap9phire%
Cu$uber "ith the 3e!dri$#s, lie "ith the 0obay%H
7oly hell L o!ly Christia! $ould a#e a eal out of orderi!g a dri!#%
G&!d t"o ore Cosos please,H 8 add, loo#i!g a!1iously at Christia!% 8 a dri!#i!g "ith y
other C !o "ay $a! he be a!gry about that%
G.lease pull up a $hair, Christia!%H
GTha!# you, =rs% &das%H
Christia! pulls a !earby $hair o*er a!d sits gra$efully do"! beside e%
GSo you @ust happe! to be stayi!g i! the hotel "here "ere dri!#i!gIH 8 as#, tryi!g hard to
#eep y to!e light%
G/r, you @ust happe! to be dri!#i!g i! the hotel "here 8 stayi!g,H Christia! replies%
G8 @ust fi!ished di!!er, $ae i! here, a!d sa" you% 8 "as distra$ted thi!#i!g about your ost
re$e!t eail, a!d 8 gla!$e up a!d there you are% Quite a $oi!$ide!$e, ehIH 3e $o$#s his head to o!e
side, a!d 8 see a tra$e of a sile% 1han( hea6ens C "e ay be able to sa*e the e*e!i!g after all%
G=y other a!d 8 "ere shoppi!g this or!i!g a!d o! the bea$h this after!oo!% We de$ided
o! a fe" $o$#tails this e*e!i!g,H 8 utter, feeli!g that 8 o"e hi soe sort of e1pla!atio!%
G<id you buy that topIH 3e !ods at y bra!d !e" gree! sil# $aisole, GThe $olor suits you%
&!d you*e $aught soe su!% Jou loo# lo*ely%H
8 flush, spee$hless at his $oplie!t%
GWell, 8 "as goi!g to pay you a *isit toorro"% 0ut here you are%H
3e rea$hes o*er, ta#es y ha!d, a!d sBueeFes it ge!tly, ru!!i!g his thub a$ross y
#!u$#les to a!d froL a!d 8 feel the failiar pull% The ele$tri$ $harge Fappi!g be!eath y s#i!
u!der the ge!tle pressure fro his thub, firi!g i!to y blood strea a!d pulsi!g arou!d y body,
heati!g e*erythi!g i! its path% 8ts bee! o*er t"o days si!$e 8 sa" hi%
Oh my %%% 8 "a!t hi% =y breath hit$hes% 8 bli!# at hi, sili!g shyly, a!d see a sile play o!
his beautiful, s$ulptured lips%
G8 thought 8d surprise you% 0ut as e*er, &!astasia, you surprise e by bei!g here%H
8 gla!$e Bui$#ly at =o "ho is stari!g at Christia!L yes stari!gK %top it Mom. &s if hes
soe e1oti$ $reature, !e*er see! before% 8 ea!, 8 #!o" 8*e !e*er had a boyfrie!d, a!d Christia!
o!ly Bualifies as su$h for ease of refere!$e C but is it so u!belie*able that 8 $ould attra$t a a!I
1his man. )es fran(ly 2 loo( at him 2 y sub$o!s$ious s!aps% /h, shut upK Who i!*ited you to
the partyI 8 s$o"l at y o C but she does!t see to !oti$e%
G8 do!t "a!t to i!terrupt the tie you ha*e "ith your other% 8ll ha*e a Bui$# dri!# a!d the!
retire% 8 ha*e "or# to do,H he states ear!estly%
GChristia!, its lo*ely to eet you fi!ally,H =o i!ter@e$ts, fi!ally fi!di!g her *oi$e%
G&!a has spo#e! *ery fo!dly of you%H
3e siles at her%
GDeallyIH 3e raises a! eyebro" at e, a! aused e1pressio! o! his fa$e, a!d 8 flush agai!%
The "aiter arri*es "ith our dri!#s%
G3e!dri$#s, sir,H he says "ith a triupha!t flourish%
GTha!# you,H Christia! ururs i! a$#!o"ledgee!t%
8 sip y latest Coso !er*ously%
G3o" lo!g are you i! >eorgia, Christia!IH =o as#s%
G5!til Friday, =rs% &das%H
GWill you ha*e di!!er "ith us toorro" e*e!i!gI &!d please, $all e Carla%H
G8d be delighted to, Carla%H
GE1$elle!t% 8f you t"o "ill e1$use e, 8 !eed to *isit the po"der roo%H
Mom0 you*6e +ust ,een. 8 loo# at her desperately as she sta!ds a!d "al#s off, lea*i!g us
alo!e together%
GSo, youre ad at e for ha*i!g di!!er "ith a! old frie!d%H Christia! tur!s his bur!i!g, "ary
gaFe to e, lifti!g y ha!d to his lips a!d #issi!g ea$h #!u$#le ge!tly%
=ee: he wants to do this now.
GJes,H 8 urur as y heated blood $ourses through e%
G/ur se1ual relatio!ship "as o*er lo!g ago, &!astasia,H he "hispers% G8 do!t "a!t a!yo!e
but you% 3a*e!t you "or#ed that out yetIH
8 bli!# at hi%
G8 thi!# of her as a $hild olester, Christia!%H 8 hold y breath "aiti!g for his rea$tio!%
Christia! bla!$hes%
GThats *ery @udge!tal% 8t "as!t li#e that,H he "hispers, sho$#ed% 3e releases y ha!d%
=udgmental.
G/h, ho" "as it the!IH 8 as#% The Cosos are a#i!g e bra*e%
3e fro"!s at e, be"ildered% 8 $o!ti!ue%
GShe too# ad*a!tage of a *ul!erable fiftee!9year9old boy% 8f you had bee! a fiftee!9year9old
girl a!d =rs% Dobi!so! "as a =r% Dobi!so!, tepti!g you i!to a 0<S= lifestyle, that "ould ha*e
bee! o#ayI 8f it "as =ia, sayIH
3e gasps a!d s$o"ls at e%
G&!a, it "as!t li#e that%H
8 glare at hi%
G/#ay, it did!t feel li#e that to e,H he $o!ti!ues Buietly% GShe "as a for$e for good%
What 8 !eeded%H
G8 do!t u!dersta!d%H 8ts y tur! to loo# be"ildered%
G&!astasia, your other "ill be ba$# shortly% 8 !ot $ofortable tal#i!g about this !o"%
Later aybe% 8f you do!t "a!t e here, 8 ha*e a pla!e o! sta!d9by at 3ilto! 3ead%
8 $a! go%H
7e*s angry with me0 no.
G+o C do!t go% .lease% 8 thrilled youre here% 8 @ust tryi!g to a#e you u!dersta!d% 8
a!gry that as soo! as 8 left, you had di!!er "ith her% Thi!# about ho" you are "he! 8 get a!y"here
!ear JosNO222P% JosNO222P is a good frie!d% 8 ha*e !e*er had a se1ual relatio!ship "ith hi%
Whereas you a!d her,H 8 trail off, u!"illi!g to ta#e that thought further%
GJoure @ealousIH 3e stares at e, dubfou!ded, a!d his eyes softe! slightly, "ari!g%GJes,
a!d a!gry about "hat she did to you%H
G&!astasia, she helped e, thats all 8ll say about that% &!d as for your @ealousy, put yourself
i! y shoes% 8 ha*e!t had to @ustify y a$tio!s to a!yo!e i! the last se*e! years%
+ot o!e perso!% 8 do as 8 "ish, &!astasia% 8 li#e y auto!oy% 8 did!t go a!d see =rs%
Dobi!so! to upset you% 8 "e!t be$ause e*ery !o" a!d the! "e ha*e di!!er% Shes a frie!d a!d
a busi!ess part!er%H
9usiness partner. 7oly crap. 1his is news.
3e gaFes at e, assessi!g y e1pressio!%
GJes, "ere busi!ess part!ers% The se1 is o*er bet"ee! us% 8t has bee! for years%H
GWhy did your relatio!ship fi!ishIH
3is outh !arro"s, a!d his eyes glea%
G3er husba!d fou!d out%H
7oly shit&
GCa! "e tal# about this soe other tie C soe"here ore pri*ateIH he gro"ls%
G8 do!t thi!# youll e*er $o!*i!$e e that shes !ot soe #i!d of paedophile%H
G8 do!t thi!# of her that "ay% 8 !e*er ha*e% +o" thats e!oughKH he s!aps%
G<id you lo*e herIH
G3o" are you t"o getti!g o!IH =y other has retur!ed, u!see! by either of us%
8 plaster a fa#e sile o! y fa$e as both Christia! a!d 8 lea! ba$# hastilyL guiltily%
She gaFes at e%
GFi!e, =o%H
Christia! sips his dri!#, "at$hi!g e $losely, his e1pressio! guarded% What is he thi!#i!gI
<id he lo*e herI 8 thi!# if he did, 8 "ill lose it, big tie%
GWell ladies, 8 shall lea*e you to your e*e!i!g%H
"o0 no0 he can*t lea6e me hanging li(e this.
G.lease put these dri!#s o! y tab, roo !uber (12% 8ll $all o! you i! the or!i!g,
&!astasia% 5!til toorro", Carla%H
G/h, its so !i$e to hear soeo!e use your full !ae%H
G0eautiful !ae for a beautiful girl,H Christia! ururs, sha#i!g her outstret$hed ha!ds, a!d
she a$tually sipers .
Oh Mom 2 et tu 9rut>?2@@A. 8 sta!d, gaFi!g up at hi, iplori!g hi to a!s"er y
Buestio!, a!d he #isses y $hee#, $hastely%
GLaters, baby,H he "hispers i! y ear% The! hes go!e%
4amned control;frea(;,astard. =y a!ger retur!s i! full for$e% 8 slup i!to y $hair a!d tur!
to fa$e y other%
GWell stri#e e do"! "ith a feather, &!a% 3es a $at$h% 8 do!t #!o" "hats goi!g o! bet"ee!
you t"o though% 8 thi!# you !eed to tal# to ea$h other% .he" C the 5ST i! here, its u!bearable%H
She fa!s herself theatri$ally%
G=/=KH
G>o tal# to hi%H
G8 $a!t% 8 $ae here to see you%H
G&!a, you $ae here be$ause youre $o!fused about that boy% 8ts ob*ious you t"o are $raFy
about ea$h other% Jou !eed to tal# to hi% 3es @ust flo"! three thousa!d odd iles to see you, for
hea*e!s sa#e% &!d you #!o" ho" a"ful it is to fly%H
8 flush% 8 ha*e!t told her about his pri*ate pla!e%
GWhatIH she s!aps at e%
G3e has his o"! pla!e,H 8 uble, ebarrassed, a!d its o!ly t"o a!d a half thousa!d iles,
=o%
#hy am I em,arrassed. 3er eyebro"s shoot up%
GWo",H she utters% G&!a, theres soethi!g goi!g o! bet"ee! you t"o% 8*e bee! tryi!g to
fatho it si!$e you arri*ed here% 0ut the o!ly "ay you are goi!g to sort the proble, "hate*er it is,
is to tal# it through "ith hi% Jou $a! do all the thi!#i!g you li#e C but u!til you a$tually tal#,
youre !ot goi!g to get a!y"here%H
8 fro"! at y other%
G&!a, ho!ey, you*e al"ays had a te!de!$y to o*er9a!alyFe e*erythi!g% >o "ith your gut%
What does that tell you, s"eetheartIH
8 stare at y fi!gers%
G8 thi!# 8 i! lo*e "ith hi,H 8 utter%
G8 #!o" darli!g% &!d he "ith you%H
G+oKH
GJes, &!a% 3ell C "hat do you !eedI & !eo! sig! flashi!g o! his foreheadIH
8 gape at her a!d tears pri$# the $or!er of y eyes%
G&!a, darli!g% <o!t $ry%H
G8 do!t thi!# he lo*es e%H
G8 do!t $are ho" ri$h you are, you do!t drop e*erythi!g a!d get i! your pri*ate pla!e to
$ross a "hole $o!ti!e!t @ust for after!oo! tea% >o to hiK This is a beautiful lo$atio!, *ery roa!ti$%
8ts also !eutral territory%H
8 sBuir u!der her gaFe% 8 "a!t to go a!d 8 do!t%
G<arli!g, do!t feel you ha*e to $oe ba$# "ith e% 8 "a!t you happy C a!d right !o" 8 thi!#
the #ey to your happi!ess is upstairs i! roo (12% 8f you !eed to $oe hoe later, the #ey is u!der
the Ju$$a pla!t o! the fro!t por$h% 8f you stay C "ellL youre a big girl !o"% Just be safe%H
8 flush stars a!d stripes red% =ee: Mom.
GLets fi!ish our Cosos first%H
GThats y girl, &!a%H She gri!s%
8 #!o$# tiidly o! roo (12 a!d "ait% Christia! ope!s the door% 3es o! his $ell% 3e bli!#s at
e i! $oplete surprise, the! holds the door ope! "ide a!d be$#o!s e i!to his roo%
G&ll the redu!da!$y pa$#ages $o!$ludedI%%% &!d the $ostI%%% H Christia! "histles bet"ee! his
teeth% GSheeshL that "as o!e e1pe!si*e ista#eL &!d Lu$asI %%% H
8 gla!$e arou!d the roo% 3es i! a suite, li#e the o!e at the 3eatha!% The fur!ishi!gs here
are ultra oder!, *ery !o"% &ll uted dar# purples a!d golds "ith bro!Fe starbursts o! the "alls%
Christia! "al#s o*er to dar# "ood u!it a!d pulls ope! a door to re*eal a i!i9bar% 3e i!di$ates that
8 should help yself, the! "a!ders i!to the bedroo%
8 assue its so 8 $a! !o lo!ger hear his $o!*ersatio!% 8 shrug% 3e did!t stop his $all "he! 8
e!tered his study that tie% 8 hear "ater ru!!i!gL hes filli!g a bath% 8 help yself to a! ora!ge
@ui$e% 3e ables ba$# i!to the roo%
G3a*e &!drea se!d e the s$heati$s% 0ar!ey said hed $ra$#ed the probleL H
Christia! laughs% G+o, FridayL Theres a plot of la!d here that 8 i!terested i!L Jeah, get
0ill to $allL +o, toorro"L 8 "a!t to see "hat >eorgia "ill offer if "e o*e i!%H
Christia! does!t ta#e his eyes off e% 3a!di!g e a glass, he poi!ts to a! i$e bu$#et%
G8f their i!$e!ti*es are attra$ti*e e!oughL 8 thi!# "e should $o!sider it, though 8 !ot sure
about the da!ed heat hereL 8 agree <etroit has its ad*a!tages too, a!d its $oolerL H 3is fa$e
dar#e!s oe!tarily% #hy. G>et 0ill to $all% Toorro"L +ot too early%H 3e ha!gs up a!d stares
at e, his fa$e u!readable, a!d the sile!$e stret$hes bet"ee! us% /#ayL y tur! to tal#%
GJou did!t a!s"er y Buestio!,H 8 urur%
G+o% 8 did!t,H he says Buietly, his gray eyes "ide a!d $autious%
G+o you did!t a!s"er y Buestio! or !o you did!t lo*e herIH
3e folds his ars a!d lea!s agai!st the "all, a!d a sall sile plays upo! his lips%
GWhat are you doi!g here, &!astasiaIH
G8*e @ust told you%H
3e ta#es a deep breath%
G+o% 8 did!t lo*e her%H 3e fro"!s at e, aused yet puFFled%
8 $a!t belie*e 8 holdi!g y breath% 8 sag li#e a! old $loth sa$# as 8 release it% #ell than(
hea6ens for that. 3o" "ould 8 feel if he a$tually lo*ed the "it$hI
GJoure Buite the gree!9eyed goddess, &!astasia% Who "ould ha*e thoughtIH
G&re you a#i!g fu! of e, =r% >reyIH
G8 "ould!t dare%H 3e sha#es his head sole!ly, but he has a "i$#ed glea i! his eye%
G/h, 8 thi!# you "ould, a!d 8 thi!# you do C ofte!%H
3e sir#s as 8 gi*e hi ba$# the "ords hes said to e before% 3is eyes dar#e!%
G.lease stop biti!g your lip% Joure i! y roo, 8 ha*e!t set eyes o! you for !early three
days, a!d 8*e flo"! a lo!g "ay to see you%H 3is to!e has $ha!ged to soft, se!sual%
3is 0la$#0erry buFFes, distra$ti!g us both, a!d he s"it$hes it off "ithout gla!$i!g to see "ho
it is% =y breath hit$hes% 8 #!o" "here this is goi!gL ,ut we*re supposed to tal(.
3e ta#es a step to"ards e "eari!g his se1y predatory loo#%
G8 "a!t you, &!astasia% +o"% &!d you "a!t e% Thats "hy youre here%H
G8 really did "a!t to #!o",H 8 "hisper as a defe!se%
GWell, !o" you that you do, are you $oi!g or goi!gIH
8 flush as he $oes to a halt i! fro!t of e%
GCoi!g,H 8 urur, stari!g a!1iously up at hi%
G/h, 8 hope so%H 3e gaFes do"! at e% GJou "ere so ad at e,H he breathes%
GJes%H
G8 do!t reeber a!yo!e but y faily e*er bei!g ad at e% 8 li#e it%H
3e ru!s the tips of fi!gers do"! y $hee#% Oh my his pro1iity, his deli$ious Christia!
sell% Were supposed to be tal#i!g, but y heart is pou!di!g, y blood si!gi!g as it $ourses
through y body, desire, pooli!g, u!furli!gL e*ery"here% Christia! be!ds a!d ru!s his !ose alo!g
y shoulder a!d up to the base of y ear, his fi!gers slippi!g i!to y hair%GWe should tal#%H 8
"hisper%
GLater%H
GTheres so u$h 8 "a!t to say%H
G=e too%H
3e pla!ts a soft #iss u!der y earlobe "hile his fi!gers tighte! i! y hair% .ulli!g y head
ba$#, he e1poses y throat to his lips% 3is teeth s#i y $hi!, a!d he #isses y throat%
G8 "a!t you,H he breathes%
8 oa! a!d rea$h up a!d grasp his ars%
G&re you bleedi!gIH 3e $o!ti!ues to #iss e%
7oly 'uc(. <oes !othi!g slip by hiI
GJes,H 8 "hisper, ebarrassed%
G<o you ha*e $rapsIH
G+o%H 8 flush . =ee:0
3e stops a!d loo#s do"! at e%
G<id you ta#e your pillIH
GJes%H 3o" ortifyi!g is thisI
GLets go ha*e a bath%H
Oh.
3e ta#es y ha!d a!d leads e i!to the bedroo% 8ts doi!ated by a super9#i!g siFe bed
"ith elaborate drapes% 0ut "e do!t stop there% 3e ta#es e i!to the bathroo "hi$h is t"o roos,
all aBuaari!es a!d "hite liesto!e% 8ts huge C 8! the se$o!d roo a su!#e! bath, big e!ough for
four people "ith sto!e steps that lead i!to it, is slo"ly filli!g "ith "ater% Stea rises ge!tly abo*e
the foa, a!d 8 !oti$e a sto!e seat all the "ay rou!d%
Ca!dles fli$#er to the side% Wo"L hes do!e all this "hile o! the pho!e%
G<o you ha*e a hair tieIH
8 bli!# at hi, fish i!to y @ea!s po$#et, a!d pull out a hair elasti$%
G.ut your hair up,H he orders softly% 8 do as he as#s%
8ts "ar a!d sultry beside the bath, a!d y $aisole starts to sti$#% 3e lea!s o*er a!d shuts
off the fau$et% leadi!gL e ba$# i!to the first part of the bathroo,he sta!ds behi!d e as "e fa$e
the "all9siFed irror abo*e the t"o glass si!#s%
GLift up your ars,H he breathes% 8 do as 8 told, a!d he lifts y $aisole o*er y head so
that 8 topless sta!di!g i! fro!t of hi% +ot ta#i!g his eyes off i!e, he rea$hes arou!d a!d
u!does the top butto! o! y @ea!s a!d the Fipper%
G8 goi!g to ha*e you i! the bathroo, &!astasia%H
Lea!i!g do"!, he #isses y !e$#% 8 o*e y head to o!e side a!d gi*e hi easier a$$ess%
3oo#i!g his thubs i!to y @ea!s, he slo"ly slides the do"! y legs, si!#i!g do"! behi!d e
as he pulls the a!d y pa!ties to the floor%
GStep out of your @ea!s%H
>raspi!g the edge of the si!#, 8 do @ust that% 8 a !o" !a#ed, stari!g at yself, a!d hes
#!eeli!g behi!d e% 3e #isses a!d the! softly bites y behi!d, a#i!g e gasp% 3e sta!ds a!d
stares at e o!$e ore i! the irror% 8 try hard to stay still, ig!ori!g y !atural i!$li!atio! to $o*er
yself% 3e splays his ha!d a$ross y belly, the spa! of his ha!d alost rea$hi!g fro hip to hip%
GLoo# at you% Jou are so beautiful,H he ururs% GSee ho" you feel%H 3e $lasps both y
ha!ds i! his, his pals agai!st the ba$#s of y ha!ds, his fi!gers i! bet"ee! i!e so that y
fi!gers are splayed% 3e pla$es y ha!ds o! y belly% GFeel ho" soft your s#i! is%H
3is *oi$e is soft a!d lo"% 3e o*es y ha!ds i! a slo" $ir$le the! up"ards to"ards y
breasts% GFeel ho" full your breasts are%H 3e holds y ha!ds so that they $up y breasts%
3e ge!tly stro#es y !ipples "ith his thubs o*er a!d o*er%
8 oa! bet"ee! parted lips a!d ar$h y ba$# so y breasts fill y pals% 3e sBueeFes y
!ipples bet"ee! our thubs, pulli!g ge!tly so that they elo!gate further% 8 "at$h i! fas$i!atio! at
the "a!to! $reature "rithi!g i! fro!t of e% Oh this feels good. 8 groa! a!d $lose y eyes, !o
lo!ger "a!ti!g to see that libidi!ous "oa! i! the irror falli!g apart u!der her o"! ha!dsL his
ha!dsL feeli!g y s#i! as he "ould, e1perie!$i!g ho" arousi!g it is C @ust his tou$h, a!d his $al,
soft, $oa!ds%
GThats right, baby,H he ururs%
3e guides y ha!ds do"! the sides of y body, past y "aist to y hips, a!d a$ross to y
pubi$ hair% 3e slides his leg i! bet"ee! i!e, pushi!g y feet further apart, "ide!i!g y sta!$e,
a!d ru!s y ha!ds o*er y se1, o!e ha!d at a tie i! tur!, setti!g up a rhyth% 8t is so eroti$% Truly
8 a a ario!ette a!d he is the aster puppeteer%
GLoo# at you glo", &!astasia,H he "hispers as he trails #isses a!d soft bites alo!g y
shoulder% 8 groa!% Sudde!ly he lets go%
GCarry o!,H he orders, a!d sta!ds ba$# "at$hi!g e%
8 rub yself% "o. 8 "a!t hi, hi to do it% 8t does!t feel the sae% 8 lost "ithout hi% 3e
pulls his shirt o*er his head a!d Bui$#ly ta#es off his @ea!s%
GJoud rather 8 do thisIH 3is gray gaFe s$or$hes i!e i! the irror%
G/h yesL please,H 8 breathe%
3e "raps his ars arou!d e agai! a!d ta#es y ha!ds o!$e ore, $o!ti!ui!g the se!sual
$aress a$ross y se1, o*er y $litoris% 3is $hest hair s$rapes agai!st e, his ere$tio! presses
agai!st e% Oh soon0 please. 3e bites the !ape of y !e$#, a!d 8 $lose y eyes, e!@oyi!g the
yriad of se!satio!sP y !e$#, y groi!L the feel of hi behi!d e%
3e stops abruptly a!d spi!s e arou!d, $ir$li!g y "rists "ith o!e ha!d, ipriso!i!g y
ha!ds behi!d e, a!d pulli!g at y po!ytail "ith the other% 8 a flush agai!st hi, a!d he #isses
e "ildly, ra*agi!g y outh "ith his% 3oldi!g, h e i! pla$e%
3is breathi!g is ragged, at$hi!g i!e%
GWhe! did you start your period, &!astasiaIH he as#s out of the blue, gaFi!g do"! at e%
GErr%%% yesterday,H 8 uble i! y highly aroused state%
G>ood%H 3e releases e a!d tur!s e arou!d%
G3old o! to the si!#,H he orders a!d pulls y hips ba$# agai!, li#e he did i! the playroo, so
8 be!di!g do"!%
3e rea$hes bet"ee! y legs a!d pulls o! the blue stri!gL what& &!dL a ge!tly pulls y
tapo! out a!d tosses it i!to the !earby toilet% 7oly fuc(. S"eet other of allL JeeF%
&!d the! hes i!side eL ahK S#i! agai!st s#i!L o*i!g slo"ly at firstL easily, testi!g e,
pushi!g eL oh my. 8 grip o! to the si!#, pa!ti!g, for$i!g yself ba$# o! hi, feeli!g hi i!side
e% /h the s"eet ago!yL his ha!ds $lasp y hips% 3e sets a pu!ishi!g rhyth C i!, out, a!d he
rea$hes arou!d a!d fi!ds y $litoris, assagi!g eL oh @eeF% 8 $a! feel yself Bui$#e!%
GThats right, baby,H he rasps as he gri!ds i!to e, a!gli!g his hips, a!d its e!ough to se!d
e flyi!g, flyi!g high%
#hoa L a!d 8 $oe, loudly, grippi!g for dear life o!to the si!# as 8 spiral do"! through y
orgas, e*erythi!g spi!!i!g a!d $le!$hi!g at o!$e% 3e follo"s, $laspi!g e tightly, his fro!t o! y
ba$# as he $lia1es a!d $alls y !ae li#e its a lita!y or a prayer%
BOh Ana&E 3is breathi!g is ragged i! y ear, i! perfe$t sy!ergy "ith i!e% G/h, baby, "ill
8 e*er get e!ough of youIH he "hispers%
Will it al"ays be li#e thisI So o*er"heli!g, so all9$o!sui!g, so be"ilderi!g a!d beguili!g%
8 "a!ted to tal#, but !o" 8 spe!t a!d daFed fro his lo*ea#i!g a!d "o!deri!g if I "ill e*er get
e!ough of him.
We si!# slo"ly to the floor, a!d he "raps his ars arou!d e, ipriso!i!g e% 8 a $urled o!
his lap, y head agai!st his $hest, as "e both $al% Aery subtly, 8 i!hale his s"eet, i!to1i$ati!g
Christia! s$e!t% I must not nu::le. I must not nu::le. 8 repeat the a!tra i! y head C though 8 a
so tepted to do so% 8 "a!t to lift y ha!d a!d dra" patter!s i! his $hest hair "ith y fi!gertipsL
but 8 resist, #!o"i!g that hell hate it if 8 do% We are both Buiet, lost i! our thoughts% 8 a lost i!
hiL lost to hi%
8 reeber that 8 ha*e y period%
G8 bleedi!g,H 8 urur%
G<oes!t bother e,H he breathes%
G8 !oti$ed%H 8 $a!t #eep the dry!ess out of y *oi$e%
3e te!ses slightly%
G<oes it bother youIH he as#s softly%
<oes it bother eI =aybe it shouldL should itI +o, it does!t% 8 lea! ba$# a!d loo# up at
hi, a!d he gaFes do"! at e, his eyes a soft $loudy gray%
G+o, !ot at all%H
3e sir#s%
G>ood% Lets ha*e a bath%H
3e u!$urls fro arou!d e, pla$i!g e o! the floor as he a#es to sta!d% &s he does, 8 !oti$e
agai! the sall, rou!d, "hite s$ars o! his $hest% They are !ot $hi$#e! po1, 8 use abse!ti!dedly%
>ra$e said he "as hardly affe$ted% 7oly shit L they ust be bur!s%
0ur!s fro "hatI 8 bla!$h at the realiFatio!, sho$# a!d re*ulsio! $oursi!g through e%
Fro $igarettesI =rs% Dobi!so!, his birth other, "hoI Who did this to hiI =aybe theres a
reaso!able e1pla!atio!, a!d 8 o*er9rea$ti!g C "ild hope blossos i! y $hest
C hope that 8 a "ro!g%
GWhat is itIH Christia!s fa$e is "ide9eyed "ith alar%
GJour s$ars,H 8 "hisper% GTheyre !ot fro $hi$#e! po1%H
8 "at$h as i! a split se$o!d he $loses do"!, his sta!$e $ha!gi!g fro rela1ed, $al, a!d at
ease, to defe!si*e C a!gry, e*e!% 3e fro"!s, his fa$e dar#e!i!g, a!d his outh presses i!to a thi!,
hard li!e%
G+o, theyre !ot,H he s!aps, but he does !ot elaborate further% 3e sta!ds, holds his ha!d out
for e, a!d hauls e to y feet%
G<o!t loo# at e li#e that%H 3is *oi$e is $older a!d s$oldi!g as he lets go of y ha!d%
8 flush, $haste!ed, a!d stare do"! at y fi!gers, a!d 8 #!o", 8 #!o" that soeo!e stubbed
$igarettes out o! Christia!% 8 feel si$#%
G<id she do thatIH 8 "hisper before 8 $a! stop yself%
3e says !othi!g, so 8 for$ed to loo# at hi% 3es glari!g at e%
GSheI =rs% Dobi!so!I Shes !ot a! a!ial, &!astasia% /f $ourse she did!t% 8 do!t
u!dersta!d "hy you feel you ha*e to deo!iFe her%H
3es sta!di!g there, !a#ed, gloriously !a#ed, "ith y blood o! hiL a!d "ere fi!ally
ha*i!g this $o!*ersatio!% &!d 8 !a#ed too C !either of us has a!y"here to hide, e1$ept perhaps
the bath% 8 ta#e a deep breath, o*e past hi, a!d step do"! i!to the "ater%
8t is deli$iously "ar, soothi!g, a!d deep% 8 elt i!to the fragra!t foa a!d stare up at hi,
hidi!g ao!g the bubbles%
G8 @ust "o!der "hat you "ould be li#e if you had!t et her% 8f she had!t i!trodu$ed you to
yourL u, lifestyle%H
3e sighs a!d steps do"! i!to the bath opposite e, his @a" $le!$hed "ith te!sio!, his eyes
frosty% &s he gra$efully suberges his body be!eath the "ater, hes $areful !ot to tou$h e% =ee: 2
ha6e I made him that mad.
3e stares ipassi*ely at e, his fa$e u!readable, sayi!g !othi!g% &gai! the sile!$e stret$hes
bet"ee! us, but 8 hold y $ou!sel% 8ts your tur! >rey C 8 a !ot $a*i!g this tie%
=y sub$o!s$ious is !er*ous, a!1iously biti!g her !ails C this $ould go either "ay% Christia!
a!d 8 stare at ea$h other, but 8 a !ot ba$#i!g do"!% E*e!tually, after "hat sees li#e a
ille!!iu, he sha#es his head, a!d he sir#s%
G8 "ould probably ha*e go!e the "ay of y birth other, had it !ot bee! for =rs%
Dobi!so!%H
/hK 8 bli!# at hi% Cra$# addi$t or "horeI .ossibly bothI
GShe lo*ed e i! a "ay 8 fou!dL a$$eptable,H he adds "ith a shrug%
#hat the hell does that mean.
G&$$eptableIH 8 "hisper%
GJes%H 3e stares i!te!tly at e% GShe distra$ted e fro the destru$ti*e path 8 fou!d yself
follo"i!g% 8ts *ery hard to gro" up i! a perfe$t faily "he! youre !ot perfe$t%H
Oh no. =y outh dries as 8 digest his "ords% 3e gaFes as e, his e1pressio! u!fathoable%
3es !ot goi!g to tell e a!y ore% 3o" frustrati!g% 8!side, 8 reeli!g C he sou!ds so full of self9
loathi!g% &!d =rs% Dobi!so! lo*ed hi% 7oly shit L does she stillI
8 feel li#e 8*e bee! #i$#ed i! the stoa$h%
G<oes she still lo*e youIH
G8 do!t thi!# so, !ot li#e that%H 3e fro"!s as if he has!t thought about the idea% G8 #eep
telli!g you it "as a lo!g tie ago% 8ts i! the past% 8 $ould!t $ha!ge it e*e! if 8 "a!ted to, "hi$h 8
do!t% She sa*ed e fro yself%H 3es e1asperated a!d ru!s a "et ha!d through his hair% G8*e
!e*er dis$ussed this "ith a!yo!e%H 3e pauses, GE1$ept <r%
Fly!!, of $ourse% &!d the o!ly reaso! 8 tal#i!g about this !o", to you, is be$ause 8 "a!t
you to trust e%H
G8 do trust you, but 8 do "a!t to #!o" you better, a!d "he!e*er 8 try to tal# to you, you
distra$t e% Theres so u$h 8 "a!t to #!o"%H
G/h for pitys sa#e, &!astasia% What do you "a!t to #!o"I What do 8 ha*e to doIH 3is eyes
blaFe, a!d though he does!t raise his *oi$e, 8 #!o" hes tryi!g to rei! i! his teper%
8 gla!$e Bui$#ly do"! at y ha!ds, $lear be!eath the "ater as the bubbles ha*e started to
disperse%
G8 @ust tryi!g to u!dersta!d, youre su$h a! e!iga% 5!li#e a!yo!e 8*e et before%
8 glad youre telli!g e "hat 8 "a!t to #!o"%H
JeeF C aybe its the Cosopolita!s a#i!g e bra*e, but sudde!ly 8 $a!!ot bear the
dista!$e bet"ee! us% 8 o*e through the "ater to his side a!d lea! agai!st hi so "ere tou$hi!g,
s#i! to s#i!% 3e te!ses a!d eyes e "arily, as if 8 ight bite% #ell that*s a turnaround. =y i!!er
goddess gaFes at hi i! Buiet, surprised spe$ulatio!%
G.lease do!t be a!gry "ith e,H 8 "hisper%
G8 a !ot a!gry "ith you, &!astasia% 8 @ust !ot used to this #i!d of tal#i!g C this probi!g% 8
o!ly ha*e this "ith <r% Fly!! a!d "ithCH 3e stops a!d fro"!s%
GWith her% =rs% Dobi!so!% Jou tal# to herIH 8 propt, tryi!g to rei! i! y o"! teper%
GJes, 8 do%H
GWhat aboutIH
3e shifts i! the bath so that hes fa$i!g e, $ausi!g the "ater to lap o*er the sides o!to the
floor% 3e pla$es his ar arou!d y shoulders, resti!g o! the ledge of the bath%
G.ersiste!t are!t youIH he ururs, a tra$e of irritatio! i! his *oi$e% GLife, the u!i*erse C
busi!ess% &!astasia, =rs% D a!d 8 go "ay ba$#% We $a! dis$uss a!ythi!g%H
G=eIH 8 "hisper%
GJes%H >ray eyes "at$h e $arefully%
8 bite y botto lip, tryi!g to $urb the sudde! rush of a!ger that surfa$es%
GWhy do you tal# about eIH 8 e!dea*or !ot to sou!d "hi!ey a!d petula!t, but 8 do!t
su$$eed% 8 #!o" 8 should stop% 8 a pushi!g hi too hard% =y sub$o!s$ious has her Ed*ard =u!$h
fa$e o! agai!%
G8*e !e*er et a!yo!e li#e you, &!astasia%H
GWhat does that ea!I &!yo!e "ho @ust did!t autoati$ally sig! your paper"or#, !o
Buestio!s as#edIH
3e sha#es his head%
G8 !eed ad*i$e%H
G&!d you ta#e ad*i$e fro =rs% .aedoIH 8 s!ap% The hold o! y teper is ore te!tati*e
tha! 8 thought%
G&!astasia C e!ough,H he s!aps ba$# ster!ly, his eyes !arro"i!g%
8 s#ati!g o! thi! i$e, a!d 8 headi!g i!to da!ger% G/r 8ll put you a$ross y #!ee%
8 ha*e !o se1ual or roa!ti$ i!terest i! her "hatsoe*er% Shes a dear, *alued frie!d a!d a
busi!ess part!er% Thats all% We ha*e a past, a shared history, "hi$h "as o!ue!tally be!efi$ial
for e, though it fu$#ed up her arriage C but that side of our relatio!ship is o*er%H
JeeF C a!other part 8 @ust $a!t u!dersta!d% She "as arried as "ell% 3o" did they get a"ay
"ith it for so lo!gI
G&!d your pare!ts !e*er fou!d outIH
G+o,H he gro"ls% G8*e told you this%H
&!d 8 #!o" thats it% 8 $a!!ot as# hi a!y further Buestio!s about her be$ause he "ill lose it
"ith e%
G&re you do!eIH he s!aps%
GFor !o"%H
3e ta#es a deep breath a!d *isibly rela1es i! fro!t of e, li#e a great "eight is lifted fro his
shoulders or soethi!g%
GDight C y tur!,H he utters, a!d his glare tur!s steely, spe$ulati*e% GJou ha*e!t respo!ded
to y eail%H
8 flush% /h, 8 hate the spotlight o! e, a!d it sees hes goi!g to get a!gry e*ery tie "e
ha*e a dis$ussio!% 8 sha#e y head% .erhaps thats ho" he feels about y Buestio!s, hes !ot used
to bei!g $halle!ged% The thought is re*elatory, distra$ti!g, a!d u!!er*i!g%
G8 "as goi!g to respo!d% 0ut !o" youre here%H
GJoud rather 8 "as!tIH he breathes, his e1pressio! ipassi*e agai!%
G+o, 8 pleased,H 8 urur%
G>ood%H 3e gi*es e a ge!ui!e, relie*ed sile% G8 pleased 8 here too C i! spite of your
i!terrogatio!% So, "hile its a$$eptable to grill e, you thi!# you $a! $lai soe #i!d of diploati$
iu!ity @ust be$ause 8*e flo"! all this "ay to see youI 8 !ot buyi!g it, =iss Steele% 8 "a!t to
#!o" ho" you feel%H
Oh no0
G8 told you% 8 a pleased youre here% Tha!# you for $oi!g all this "ay,H 8 say feebly%
G8ts y pleasure, =iss Steele%H 3is eyes shi!e as he lea!s do"! a!d #isses e ge!tly%
8 feel yself respo!di!g autoati$ally% The "ater is still "ar, the bathroo still steay%
3e stops a!d pulls ba$#, gaFi!g do"! at e%
G+o% 8 thi!# 8 "a!t soe a!s"ers first before "e do a!y ore%H
More. Theres that "ord agai!% &!d he "a!ts a!s"ersL a!s"ers to "hatI 8 do!t ha*e a
se$ret past C 8 do!t ha*e a harro"i!g $hildhood% What $ould he possibly "a!t to #!o" about e
that he does!t already #!o"I
8 sigh, resig!ed%
GWhat do you "a!t to #!o"IH
GWell, ho" you feel about our "ould9be arra!gee!t, for starters%H
8 bli!# at hi% Truth or dare tie C y sub$o!s$ious a!d i!!er goddess gla!$e !er*ously at
o!e a!other% 7ell let*s go for truth.
G8 do!t thi!# 8 $a! do it for a! e1te!ded period of tie% & "hole "ee#e!d bei!g soeo!e 8
!ot%H 8 flush a!d stare at y ha!ds%
3e tips y $hi! up, a!d hes sir#i!g at e, aused%
G+o, 8 do!t thi!# you $ould either%H
&!d part of e feels slightly affro!ted a!d $halle!ged%
G&re you laughi!g at eIH
GJes, but i! a good "ay,H he says "ith a sall sile%
3e lea!s do"! a!d #isses e softly, briefly%
GJoure !ot a great subissi*e,H he breathes as he holds y $hi!, his eyes da!$i!g "ith
huor%
8 stare at hi sho$#ed, the! 8 burst out laughi!g C a!d he @oi!s e%
G=aybe 8 do!t ha*e a good tea$her%H
3e s!orts%
G=aybe% .erhaps 8 should be stri$ter "ith you%H 3e $o$#s his head to o!e side a!d gi*es e
a! artful sile%
8 s"allo"% JeeF, !o% 0ut at the sae tie, y us$les $le!$h deli$iously deep i!side%
8t is his "ay of sho"i!g that he $ares% .erhaps the o!ly "ay he $a! sho" he $ares C 8 realiFe
that% 3es stari!g at e, gaugi!g y rea$tio!%
GWas it that bad "he! 8 spa!#ed you the first tieIH
8 gaFe ba$# at hi, bli!#i!g% #as it that ,ad. 8 reeber feeli!g $o!fused by y rea$tio!% 8t
hurt, but !ot that u$h i! retrospe$t% 3es said o*er a!d o*er agai! its ore i! y head% &!d the
se$o!d tieL Well, that "as goodL hot%
G+o, !ot really,H 8 "hisper%
G8ts ore the idea of itIH he propts%
G8 suppose% Feeli!g pleasure, "he! o!e is!t supposed to%H
G8 reeber feeli!g the sae% Ta#es a "hile to get your head arou!d it%H
7oly hell. This "as "he! he "as a #id%
GJou $a! al"ays safe9"ord, &!astasia% <o!t forget that% &!d, as lo!g as you follo" the rules,
"hi$h fulfill a deep !eed i! e for $o!trol a!d to #eep you safe, the! perhaps "e $a! fi!d a "ay
for"ard%H
GWhy do you !eed to $o!trol eIH
G0e$ause it satisfies a !eed i! e that "as!t et i! y forati*e years%H
GSo its a for of therapyIH
G8*e !ot thought of it li#e that, but yes, 8 suppose it is%H
This 8 $a! u!dersta!d% This "ill help%
G0ut, heres the thi!g C o!e oe!t you say do!t defy e, the !e1t you say you li#e to be
$halle!ged% Thats a *ery fi!e li!e to tread su$$essfully%H
3e gaFes at e for a oe!t, the! fro"!s%
G8 $a! see that% 0ut you see to be doi!g fi!e so far%H
G0ut at "hat perso!al $ostI 8 tied up i! #!ots here%H
G8 li#e you tied up i! #!ots,H he sir#s%
GThats !ot "hat 8 ea!tKH 8 splash hi i! e1asperatio!%
3e gaFes do"! at e, ar$hi!g a! eyebro"%
G<id you @ust splash eIH
GJes%H 7oly shit0 that loo(.
G/h, =iss Steele%H 3e grabs e a!d pulls e o!to his lap, sloshi!g "ater all o*er the floor% G8
thi!# "e*e do!e e!ough tal#i!g for !o"%H
3e $lasps his ha!ds o! either side of y head a!d #isses e% <eeply% .ossessi!g y outh%
&!gli!g y headL $o!trolli!g e% 8 oa! agai!st his lips% This is "hat he li#es% This is "hat hes
so good at% E*erythi!g ig!ites i!side e a!d y fi!gers are i! his hair, holdi!g hi to e, a!d 8
#issi!g hi ba$# a!d sayi!g 8 "a!t you too the o!ly "ay 8 #!o" ho"% 3e groa!s, shifti!g e so
8 astride hi, #!eeli!g o*er hi, his ere$tio! be!eath e% 3e pulls ba$# a!d loo#s at e, his eyes
hooded, glo"i!g a!d lustful% 8 drop y ha!ds to grab o! to the edge of the bath but he grips both
y "rists a!d pulls y ha!ds behi!d y ba$#, holdi!g the together i! o!e ha!d%
G8 goi!g to ha*e you !o",H he "hispers a!d lifts e so that 8 ho*eri!g o*er hi%
GDeadyIH he breathes%
GJes,H 8 "hisper, a!d he eases e o! to hi, slo"ly, e1Buisitely slo"lyL filli!g eL
"at$hi!g e as he ta#es e%
8 groa!, $losi!g y eyes, a!d 8 re*el i! the se!satio!, the stret$hi!g full!ess% 3e fle1es his
hips, a!d 8 gasp, lea!i!g for"ard, resti!g y forehead agai!st his%
G.lease let y ha!ds go,H 8 "hisper%
G<o!t tou$h e,H he pleads, a!d releasi!g y "rists, he grabs y hips%
Claspi!g the bath ledge, 8 o*e up a!d the! do"! slo"ly, ope!i!g y eyes to gaFe at hi%
3es "at$hi!g e% 3is outh ope! slightly, his breathi!g halted, stilted C his to!gue bet"ee! his
teeth% 3e loo#s soL hot% Were "et a!d slippery a!d o*i!g agai!st ea$h other% 8 lea! do"! a!d
#iss hi% 3e $loses his eyes% Te!tati*ely, 8 bri!g y ha!ds up to his head a!d ru! y fi!gers
through his hair, !ot ta#i!g y lips fro his outh% This is allo"ed% 3e li#es this% 8 li#e this% &!d
"e o*e together% 8 tug his hair, tippi!g his head ba$# a!d deepe! the #iss, ridi!g hi C faster,
pi$#i!g up the rhyth% 8 oa! agai!st his outh% 3e starts to lift e faster, fasterL holdi!g y
hips% Eissi!g e ba$#% We are "et ouths a!d to!gues, ta!gled hair, a!d o*i!g hips% &ll
se!satio!L all $o!sui!g agai!%
8 a $loseL 8 a starti!g to re$og!iFe this deli$ious tighte!i!gL Bui$#e!i!g% &!d the
"aterL its s"irli!g arou!d us, our o"! "hirlpool, a stirri!g *orte1 as our o*ee!ts be$oe
ore fra!ti$L sloshi!g e*ery"here, irrori!g "hats happe!i!g i!side eL a!d 8 @ust do!t $are%
8 lo*e this a!% 8 lo*e his passio!, the effe$t 8 ha*e o! hi% 8 lo*e that hes flo"! so far to see
e% 8 lo*e that he $ares about eL he $ares% 8ts so u!e1pe$ted, so fulfilli!g%
3e is i!e, a!d 8 a his%
GThats right, baby,H he breathes%
&!d 8 $oe, y orgas rippi!g through e, a turbule!t, passio!ate, apogee that de*ours e
"hole% &!d sudde!ly Christia! $rushes e to hiL his ars "rapped arou!d y ba$# as he fi!ds
his release%
G&!a, babyKH he $ries, a!d its a "ild i!*o$atio!, stirri!g a!d tou$hi!g the depths of y soul%
We lie stari!g at ea$h other, gray eyes i!to blue, fa$e to fa$e, i! the super #i!g bed, both
huggi!g our pillo"s o! our fro!ts% +a#ed% +ot tou$hi!g% Just loo#i!g a!d adiri!g, $o*ered by the
sheet%
G<o you "a!t to sleepIH Christia! as#s, his *oi$e soft% 3e is beautifulP the i1 of $olors i! his
hair *i*id agai!st the "hite Egyptia! $otto! pillo"$ase, gray eyes, solderi!g, e1pressi*e% 3e loo#s
$o!$er!ed%
G+o% 8 !ot tired%H 8 feel stra!gely e!ergiFed% 8ts bee! so good to tal# C 8 do!t "a!t to stop%
GWhat do you "a!t to doIH he as#s%
GTal#%H
3e siles%
G&bout "hatIH
GStuff%H
GWhat stuffIH
GJou%H
GWhat about eIH
GWhats your fa*orite filIH
3e gri!s%
GToday, its MThe .ia!o%H
3is gri! is i!fe$tious%
G/f $ourse% Silly e% Su$h a sad, e1$iti!g s$ore, "hi$h !o doubt you $a! playI So a!y
a$$oplishe!ts, =r% >rey%H
G&!d the greatest o!e is you, =iss Steele%H
GSo 8 a !uber se*e!tee!%H
3e fro"!s at e !ot $oprehe!di!g%
GSe*e!tee!IH
G+uber of "oe! you*e uL had se1 "ith%H
3is lips Buir# up, his eyes shi!i!g "ith i!$redulity%
G+ot e1a$tly%H
GJou said fiftee!,H =y $o!fusio! is ob*ious%
G8 "as referri!g to the !uber of "oe! i! y playroo% 8 thought thats "hat you ea!t%
Jou did!t as# e ho" a!y "oe! 8d had se1 "ith%H
G/h%H 7oly shit0 there*s more0 7ow. 8 gape at hi% GAa!illaIH
G+o% Jou are y o!e *a!illa $o!Buest,H he sha#es his head, still gri!!i!g at e%
Why does he fi!d this fu!!yI &!d "hy a 8 gri!!i!g ba$# at hi li#e a! idiotI
G8 $a!t gi*e you a !uber% 8 did!t put !ot$hes i! the bedpost or a!ythi!g%H
GWhat are "e tal#i!g C te!s, hu!dredsL thousa!dsIH =y eyes gro" "ilder as the !ubers
get larger%
GTe!s% Were i! the te!s, for pitys sa#e%H
G&ll subissi*esIH
GJes%H
GStop gri!!i!g at e,H 8 s$old hi ildly, tryi!g a!d faili!g to #eep a straight fa$e%
G8 $a!t% Joure fu!!y%H
GFu!!y pe$uliar or fu!!y ha haIH
G& bit of both 8 thi!#%H 3is "ords irror i!e%
GThats a da!ed $hee#, $oi!g fro you%H
3e lea!s a$ross a!d #isses the tip of y !ose%
GThis "ill sho$# you, &!astasia% DeadyIH
8 !od, "ide9eyed, still "ith the stupid gri! o! y fa$e%
G&ll subissi*es i! trai!i!g, "he! 8 "as trai!i!g% There are pla$es i! a!d arou!d Seattle that
o!e $a! go a!d pra$ti$e% Lear! to do "hat 8 do,H he says%
#hat.
G/h%H 8 bli!# at hi%
GJep, 8*e paid for se1, &!astasia%H
GThats !othi!g to be proud of,H 8 utter haughtily% G&!d youre rightL 8 a deeply sho$#ed%
&!d $ross that 8 $a!t sho$# you%H
GJou "ore y u!der"ear%H
G<id that sho$# youIH
GJes%H =y i!!er goddess pole9*aults o*er the fiftee!9foot bar%
GJou did!t "ear your pa!ties to eet y pare!ts%H
G<id that sho$# youIH
GJes%H
JeeF, the bars o*ed to si1tee! feet%
G8t sees 8 $a! o!ly sho$# you i! the u!der"ear departe!t%H
GJou told e you "ere a *irgi!% Thats the biggest sho$# 8*e e*er had%H
GJes, your fa$e "as a pi$ture, a Eoda# oe!t%H 8 giggle%
GJou let e "or# you o*er "ith a ridi!g $rop%H
G<id that sho$# youIH
GJep%H
8 gri!%
GWell, 8 ay let you do it agai!%H
G/h, 8 do hope so, =iss Steele% This "ee#e!dIH
G/#ay,H 8 agree, shyly%
G/#ayIH
GJes% 8ll go to the Ded Doo of .ai! agai!%H
GJou say y !ae%H
GThat sho$#s youIH
GThe fa$t that 8 li#e it sho$#s e%H
GChristia!%H
3e gri!s%
G8 "a!t to do soethi!g toorro"%H 3is eyes glo" "ith e1$itee!t%
GWhatIH
G& surprise% For you%H 3is *oi$e is lo" a!d soft%
8 raise a! eyebro" a!d stifle a ya"! at the sae tie%
G& 8 bori!g you, =iss SteeleIH 3is to!e is sardo!i$%
G+e*er%H
3e lea!s a$ross a!d #isses e ge!tly o! y lips%
GSleep,H he $oa!ds, the! s"it$hes off the light%
&!d i! this Buiet oe!t, as 8 $lose y eyes, spe!t a!d sated, 8 thi!# 8 i! the eye of the
stor% &!d i! spite of all hes said, a!d "hat he has!t said, 8 do!t thi!# 8 ha*e e*er bee! so happy%
Christia! sta!ds i! a steel9barred $age% Weari!g his soft, ripped @ea!s, his $hest a!d feet are
outh"ateri!gly !a#ed, a!d hes stari!g at e% 3is pri*ate9@o#e sile et$hed o! his beautiful fa$e
a!d his eyes a olte! gray% 8! his ha!ds he holds a bo"l of stra"berries%
3e ables "ith athleti$ gra$e to the fro!t of the $age, gaFi!g i!te!tly at e% 3oldi!g up a
plup ripe stra"berry, he e1te!ds his ha!d through the bars%
GEat,H he says, his to!gue $aressi!g the fro!t of his palate as he e!u!$iates the Mt%
8 try a!d o*e to"ard hi, but 8 tethered, held ba$# by soe u!see! for$e arou!d y
"rist, holdi!g e . Get me go.
GCoe, eat,H he says, sili!g his deli$ious $roo#ed sile%
8 pull a!d pullL let me go& 8 "a!t to s$rea a!d shout, but !o sou!d eerges% 8 a ute%
3e stret$hes a little further, a!d the stra"berry is at y lips%
GEat, &!astasia%H 3is outh fors y !ae, li!geri!g se!sually o! ea$h syllable%
8 ope! y outh a!d bite, the $age disappears, a!d y ha!ds are free% 8 rea$h up to tou$h
hi, graFe y fi!gers through his $hest hair%
G&!astasia%H
"o. 8 oa!%
GCoe o!, baby%H
"o. I want to touch you.
GWa#e up%H
"o. /lease. =y eyes fli$#er u!"illi!gly ope! for a split se$o!d% 8 i! bed a!d soeo!e is
!uFFli!g y ear%
GWa#e up, baby,H he "hispers, a!d the effe$t of his s"eet *oi$e spreads li#e "ar elted
$arael through y *ei!s%
8ts Christia!% JeeF, its still dar#, a!d the iages of hi fro y drea persists,
dis$o!$erti!g a!d ta!taliFi!g i! y head%
G/hL !o,H 8 groa!% 8 "a!t ba$# at his $hest, ba$# to y drea% Why is he "a#i!g eI
8ts the iddle of the !ight, or so it feels . 7oly shit. <oes he "a!t se1 C !o"I
GTie to get up, baby% 8 goi!g to s"it$h o! the sidelight%H 3is *oi$e is Buiet%
G+o,H 8 groa!%
G8 "a!t to $hase the da"! "ith you,H he says, #issi!g y fa$e, y eyelids, the tip of y !ose,
y outh, a!d 8 ope! y eyes% The sidelight is o!% G>ood or!i!g, beautiful,H
he ururs%
8 groa!, a!d he siles%
GJou are !ot a or!i!g perso!,H he ururs%
Through the haFe of light, 8 sBui!t a!d see Christia! lea!i!g o*er e, sili!g% &used%
&used at e% <ressedK 8! bla$#%
G8 thought you "a!ted se1,H 8 gruble%
G&!astasia, 8 al"ays "a!t se1 "ith you% 8ts heart"ari!g to #!o" that you feel the sae,H he
says dryly%
8 gaFe at hi as y eyes ad@ust to the light, but he still loo#s ausedL tha!# hea*e!s%
G/f $ourse 8 do, @ust !ot "he! its so late%H
G8ts !ot late, its early% Coe o! C up you go% Were goi!g out% 8ll ta#e a rai! $he$# o! the
se1%H
G8 "as ha*i!g su$h a !i$e drea,H 8 "hi!e%
G<rea about "hatIH he as#s patie!tly%
GJou%H 8 blush%
GWhat "as 8 doi!g this tieIH
GTryi!g to feed e stra"berries%H
3is lips t"it$h "ith a tra$e of a sile%
G<r% Fly!! $ould ha*e a field day "ith that% 5p C get dressed% <o!t bother to sho"er, "e $a!
do that later%H
#e&
8 sit up, a!d the sheet pools at y "aist, re*eali!g y body% 3e sta!ds to gi*e e roo, his
eyes dar#%
GWhat tie is itIH
G4:20 i! the or!i!g%H
GFeels li#e 2:00 a%%H
GWe do!t ha*e u$h tie% 8 let you sleep as lo!g as possible% Coe%H
GCa!t 8 ha*e a sho"erIH
3e sighs%
G8f you ha*e a sho"er, 8ll "a!t o!e "ith you, a!d you a!d 8 #!o" "hat "ill happe! the! C
the day "ill @ust go% Coe%H
3es e1$ited% Li#e a sall boy, hes irides$e!t "ith a!ti$ipatio! a!d e1$itee!t% 8t a#es e
sile%
GWhat are "e doi!gI
G8ts a surprise% 8 told you%H
8 $a!t help but gri! up at hi%
G/#ay%H 8 $laber off the bed a!d sear$h for y $lothes% /f $ourse they are !eatly folded o!
the $hair beside y bed% 3es laid out a pair of his @ersey bo1er briefs too, Dalph Laure!, !o less% 8
slip the o!, a!d he gri!s at e% 3, a!other pie$e of Christia! >reys u!der"ear C a trophy to
add to y $olle$tio! C alo!g "ith the $ar, the 0la$#0erry, the =a$, his bla$# @a$#et, a!d a set of old
*aluable first editio!s% 8 sha#e y head at his lar9gesse, a!d 8 fro"! as a s$e!e fro Tess $rosses y
i!d: the stra"berry s$e!e% 8t e*o#es y drea% To hell "ith <r% Fly!! C Freud "ould ha*e a field
day C a!d the! hed probably e1pire tryi!g to deal "ith Fifty Shades%
G8ll gi*e you soe roo !o" that youre up%H Christia! e1its to"ard the li*i!g area, a!d 8
"a!der i!to the bathroo% 8 ha*e !eeds to atte!d to, a!d 8 "a!t a Bui$# "ash% Se*e! i!utes later, 8
a i! the li*i!g area, s$rubbed, brushed a!d dressed i! @ea!s, y $aisole, a!d Christia! >reys
u!der"ear% Christia! gla!$es up fro the sall di!i!g table "here hes eati!g brea#fast% 0rea#fastK
JeeF, at this tie%
GEat,H he says%
7oly Moses0 my dream. 8 gape at hi, thi!#i!g about his to!gue o! his palate% 7mm his
e<pert tongue.
G&!astasia,H he says ster!ly, pulli!g e out of y re*erie%
8t really is too early for e% 3o" to ha!dle thisI
G8ll ha*e soe tea% Ca! 8 ta#e a $roissa!t for laterIH
3e eyes e suspi$iously, a!d 8 sile *ery s"eetly%
G<o!t rai! o! y parade, &!astasia,H he "ar!s softly%
G8 "ill eat later "he! y stoa$hs "o#e! up% &bout 7:20 a%%L o#ayIH
G/#ay%H 3e peers do"! at e%
7onestly. 8 ha*e to $o!$e!trate hard o! !ot a#i!g a fa$e at hi%
G8 "a!t to roll y eyes at you%H
G0y all ea!s, do, a!d you "ill a#e y day,H he says ster!ly%
8 gaFe up at the $eili!g%
GWell a spa!#i!g "ould "a#e e up, 8 suppose%H 8 purse y lips i! Buiet $o!tepla9tio!%
Christia!s outh drops ope!%
G/! the other ha!d, 8 do!t "a!t you to be all hot a!d bothered, the $liate here is "ar
e!ough%H 8 shrug !o!$hala!tly%
Christia! $loses his outh a!d tries *ery hard to loo# displeased, but fails hopelessly%
8 $a! see the huor lur#i!g i! the ba$# of his eyes%
GJou are, as e*er, $halle!gi!g, =iss Steele% <ri!# your tea%H
8 !oti$e the T"i!i!gs label, a!d i!side, y heart si!gs% %ee he does care y sub$o!s$ious
ouths at e% 8 sit a!d fa$e hi, dri!#i!g i! his beauty% Will 8 e*er get e!ough of this a!I
&s "e lea*e the roo, Christia! thro"s a s"eatshirt at e%
GJoull !eed this%H
8 loo# at hi, puFFled%
GTrust e%H 3e gri!s, lea!s o*er a!d #isses e Bui$#ly o! the lips, the! grabs y ha!d a!d
"e head out%
/utside, i! the relati*e $ool of the half9light of pre9da"!, the *alet ha!ds Christia! a set of
#eys to a flash sports $ar "ith a soft top% 8 raise a! eyebro" at Christia!, "ho sir#s ba$# at e%
GJou #!o", soeties its great bei!g e,H he says "ith a $o!spiratorial but sug gri! that 8
siply $a!t help eulati!g% 3es so lo*able "he! hes playful a!d $arefree% 3e ope!s y $ar door
"ith a! e1aggerated bo", a!d i! 8 $lib% 3e is i! su$h a good ood%
GWhere are "e goi!gIH
GJoull see%H 3e gri!s as he slips the $ar i!to dri*e, a!d "e head out o! Sa*a!!ah .ar#"ay%
3e progras the >.S a!d presses a s"it$h o! the steeri!g "heel a!d a $lassi$al or$hestral pie$e
fills the $ar%
GWhats thisIH 8 as# as the s"eet, s"eet sou!d of a hu!dred *ioli! stri!gs assails us%
G8ts fro La Tra*iata% &! opera by Aerdi%H
/h, yL its lo*ely%
GLa Tra*iataI 8*e headr of that% 8 $a!t thi!# "here% What does it ea!IH
Christia! gla!$es at e a!d sir#s%
GWell, literally, the "oa! led astray% 8ts based o! &le1a!der <uass boo#, La <ae au1
Caelias%H
G&h% 8*e read it%H
G8 thought you ight%H
GThe dooed $ourtesa!%H 8 sBuir u!$ofortably i! the plush leather seat% Is he trying to tell
me something. G3, its a depressi!g story,H 8 utter%
GToo depressi!gI <o you "a!t to $hoose soe usi$I This is o! y i.od%H Christia! has that
se$ret sile agai!%
8 $a!t see his i.od a!y"here% 3e taps the s$ree! o! the $o!sole bet"ee! us, a!d behold 9
there is a play list%
GJou $hoose%H 3is lips t"it$h up i!to a sile, a!d 8 #!o" its a $halle!ge%
Christia! >reys i.od, this should be i!teresti!g% 8 s$roll through the tou$h s$ree!, a!d fi!d
the perfe$t so!g% 8 press play% 8 "ould!t ha*e figured hi for a 0rit!ey fa!% The $lub9i1, te$h!o
beat assaults us both, a!d Christia! tur!s the *olue do"!% =aybe its too early for this: 0rit!eys
at her ost sultry%
GTo1i$, ehIH Christia! gri!s%
G8 do!t #!o" "hat you ea!%H 8 feig! i!!o$e!$e%
3e tur!s the usi$ do"! a little ore, a!d i!side 8 a huggi!g yself% =y i!!er goddess is
sta!di!g o! the podiu a"aiti!g her gold edal% 3e tur!ed the usi$ do"!%
Ai$toryK
G8 did!t put that so!g o! y i.od,H he says $asually, a!d puts his foot do"! so that 8 a
thro"! ba$# i!to y seat as the $ar a$$elerates alo!g the free"ay%
#hat. 3e #!o"s "hat hes doi!g, the bastard% #ho did. &!d 8 ha*e to liste! to 0rit!ey
goi!g o! a!d o!% #ho0 who.
The so!g e!ds a!d the i.od shuffles to <aie! Di$e bei!g our!ful% #ho. #ho. 8 stare out
of the "i!do", y stoa$h $hur!i!g% WhoI
G8t "as Leila,H he a!s"ers y u!spo#e! thoughts% 7ow does he do that.
GLeilaIH
G&! e1, "ho put the so!g o! y i.od%H
<aie! "arbles a"ay i! the ba$#grou!d as 8 sit stu!!ed% &! e1L e19subissi*eI &! e1C
G/!e of the fiftee!IH 8 as#%
GJes%H
GWhat happe!ed to herIH
GWe fi!ished%H
GWhyIH
/h @eeF% 8ts too early for this #i!d of $o!*ersatio!% 0ut he loo#s rela1ed, happy e*e!, a!d
"hats ore, tal#ati*e%
GShe "a!ted ore%H 3is *oi$e is lo", i!trospe$ti*e e*e!, a!d he lea*es the se!te!$e ha!gi!g
bet"ee! us, e!di!g it "ith that po"erful little "ord agai!%
G&!d you did!tIH 8 as# before 8 $a! eploy y brai! to outh filter% Shit, do 8 "a!t to
#!o"I
3e sha#es his head%
G8*e !e*er "a!ted ore, u!til 8 et you%H
8 gasp, reeli!g% Oh my. 8s!t this "hat 8 "a!tI 3e "a!ts ore% 7e wants it too& =y i!!er
goddess has ba$# flipped off the podiu a!d is doi!g $art"heels arou!d the stadiu%
8ts !ot @ust e%
GWhat happe!ed to the other fourtee!IH 8 as#%
=ee: he*s tal(ing 2 ta(e ad6antage.
GJou "a!t a listI <i*or$ed, beheaded, diedIH
GJoure !ot 3e!ry A888%H
G/#ay% 8! !o parti$ular order, 8*e o!ly had lo!g ter relatio!ships "ith four "oe!, apart
fro Ele!a%H
GEle!aIH
G=rs% Dobi!so! to you%H 3e half siles his se$ret pri*ate @o#e sile%
Ele!aK 3oly Fu$#% The e*il o!e has a !ae a!d its all9foreig! sou!di!g% & *isio! of a
glorious, pale9s#i!!ed *ap "ith ra*e! hair a!d ruby9red lips $oes to i!d, a!d 8 #!o" that shes
beautiful% I must not dwell. I must not dwell.
GWhat happe!ed to the fourIH 8 as# to distra$t yself%
GSo i!Buisiti*e, so eager for i!foratio!, =iss Steele,H he s$olds playfully%
G/h, =r% Whe! 8s Jour .eriod <ueIH
G&!astasia C a a! !eeds to #!o" these thi!gs%H
G<oes heIH
G8 do%H
GWhyIH
G0e$ause 8 do!t "a!t you to get preg!a!t%H
G+either do 8K Well, !ot for a fe" years yet%H
Christia! bli!#s startled, the! *isibly rela1es% /#ay% Christia! does!t "a!t $hildre!%
+o" or !e*erI 8 a reeli!g fro his sudde!, u!pre$ede!ted atta$# of $a!dor% .erhaps its the
early or!i!gI Soethi!g i! the >eorgia "aterI The >eorgia airI What else do 8 "a!t to #!o"I
Carpe 4iem.
GSo the other four, "hat happe!edIH 8 as#%
G/!e et soeo!e else% The other three "a!ted C ore% 8 "as!t i! the ar#et for ore
the!%H
G&!d the othersIH 8 press%
3e gla!$es at e briefly a!d @ust sha#es his head%
GJust did!t "or# out%H
Whoa, a bu$#et9load of i!foratio! to pro$ess% 8 gla!$e i! the side irror of the $ar, a!d 8
!oti$e the soft s"ell of pi!# a!d aBuaari!e i! the s#y behi!d% <a"! is follo"i!g us%
GWhere are "e headedIH 8 as#, perple1ed, gaFi!g out at the 89'4% Were headi!g south, thats
all 8 #!o"%
G&! airfield%H
GWere !ot goi!g ba$# to Seattle are "eIH 8 gasp, alared% 8 ha*e!t said goodbye to y
o% JeeF, shes e1pe$ti!g us for di!!er%
3e laughs%
G+o, &!astasia, "ere goi!g to i!dulge i! y se$o!d fa*orite pastie%H
GSe$o!dIH 8 fro"! at hi%
GJep% 8 told you y fa*orite this or!i!g%H
8 gla!$e at his glorious profile, fro"!i!g, ra$#i!g y brai!%
G8!dulgi!g i! you, =iss Steele, thats got to be top of y list% &!y "ay 8 $a! get you%H
Oh
GWell thats Buite high up o! y list of di*erti!g, #i!#y priorities too%H 8 utter, blushi!g%G8
pleased to hear it,H he utters dryly%
GSo, airfieldIH
3e gri!s at e%
GSoari!g%H
The ter ri!gs a *ague bell% 3es e!tio!ed it before%
GWere goi!g to $hase the da"!, &!astasia%H 3e tur!s a!d gri!s at e as the >.S urges hi to
tur! right i!to "hat loo#s li#e a! i!dustrial $ople1% 3e pulls up outside a large "hite buildi!g "ith
a sig! readi!g 0ru!s"i$# Soari!g &sso$iatio!%
$liding& #e*re going gliding.
3e s"it$hes off the e!gi!e%
GJou up for thisIH he as#s%
GJoure flyi!gIH
GJes%H
GJes, pleaseKH 8 do!t hesitate% 3e gri!s a!d lea!s for"ard a!d #isses e%
G&!other first, =iss Steele,H he says as he $libs out of the $ar%
FirstI What sort of firstI First tie flyi!g a gliderL shitK +o C he said that hes do!e it
before% 8 rela1% 3e "al#s rou!d a!d ope!s y door% The s#y has tur!ed to a subtle opal, shieri!g
a!d glo"i!g softly behi!d the sporadi$ $hildli#e $louds% <a"! is upo! us%
Ta#i!g y ha!d, Christia! leads e rou!d the buildi!g to a large stret$h of tara$ "here
se*eral pla!es are par#ed% Waiti!g beside the is a a! "ith a sha*ed head a!d a "ild loo# i! his
eye, a$$opa!ied by Taylor%
1aylor& <oes Christia! go a!y "here "ithout that a!I 8 bea at hi, a!d he siles #i!dly
ba$# at e%
G=r% >rey, this is your to"9pilot, =r% =ar# 0e!so!,H says Taylor% Christia! a!d 0e!so! sha#e
ha!ds a!d stri#e up a $o!*ersatio!, "hi$h sou!ds *ery te$h!i$al about "i!d speed, dire$tio!s, a!d
the li#e%
G3ello, Taylor,H 8 urur shyly%
G=iss Steele%H 3e !ods a greeti!g at e, a!d 8 fro"!% G&!a,H he $orre$ts hiself%
G3es bee! hell o! "heels the last fe" days% >lad "ere here,H he says $o!spiratorially%
Oh this is news 2 #hy. %urely not ,ecause of me& De*elatio! ThursdayK =ust be soethi!g
i! the Sa*a!!ah "ater that a#es these e! loose! up a bit%
G&!astasia,H Christia! suo!s e% GCoe%H 3e holds out his ha!d%
GSee you later%H 8 sile at Taylor, a!d gi*i!g e a Bui$# salute, he heads ba$# to the par#i!g
lot%
G=r% 0e!so!, this is y girlfrie!d &!astasia Steele%H
G.leased to eet you,H 8 urur as "e sha#e ha!ds%
0e!so! gi*es e a daFFli!g sile%
GLi#e"ise,H he says, a!d 8 $a! tell fro his a$$e!t that hes 0ritish%
&s 8 ta#e Christia!s ha!d, theres a ou!ti!g e1$itee!t i! y belly% #ow0 gliding& We
follo" =ar# 0e!so! out a$ross the tara$ to"ards the ru!"ay% 3e a!d Christia! #eep up a ru!!i!g
$o!*ersatio!% 8 $at$h the gist% We "ill be i! a 0la!i# L922, "hi$h is appare!tly better tha! the L912,
although this is ope! to debate% 0e!so! "ill be flyi!g a .iper .a"!ee% 3es bee! flyi!g tail draggers
for about fi*e years !o"% 8t all ea!s !othi!g to e, but gla!$i!g up at Christia!, he is so a!iated,
so i! his elee!t, its a pleasure to "at$h hi%
The pla!e itself is lo!g, slee#, a!d "hite "ith ora!ge stripes% 8t has a sall $o$#pit "ith t"o
seats o!e i! fro!t of the other% 8ts atta$hed by a lo!g "hite $able to a sall, $o!*e!tio!al si!gle9
propeller pla!e% 0e!so! ope!s the large, $lear .erspe1 doe that fraes the $o$#pit, allo"i!g us to
$lib i!%
GFirst "e !eed to strap o! your para$hute%H
/arachute&
G8ll do that,H Christia! i!terrupts hi a!d ta#es the har!ess off 0e!so!, "ho siles ae!ably
at hi%
G8ll fet$h soe ballast,H 0e!so! says a!d heads to"ard the pla!e%
GJou li#e strappi!g e i!to thi!gs%H 8 obser*e dryly%
G=iss Steele, you ha*e !o idea% 3ere, step i!to the straps%H
8 do as 8 told, pla$i!g y ar o! his shoulder% Christia! stiffe!s slightly but does!t o*e%
/!$e y feet are i! the loops, he pulls the para$hute up, a!d 8 pla$e y ars through the shoulder
straps% <eftly he faste!s the har!ess a!d tighte!s all the straps%
GThere, youll do,H he says ildly, but his eyes are gleai!g% G<o you ha*e your hair tie fro
yesterdayIH
8 !od%
GJou "a!t e to put y hair upIH
GJes%H
8 Bui$#ly do as 8 as#ed%
G8! you go,H Christia! $oa!ds% 3es still so bossy% 8 go to $lib i!to the ba$#%
G+o, fro!t% .ilot sits at the ba$#%H
G0ut "o!t you be able to see%H
G8ll see ple!ty%H 3e gri!s%
8 do!t thi!# 8 ha*e e*er see! hi so happy, bossy, but happy% 8 $laber i!, settli!g do"! i!to
the leather seat% 8t is surprisi!gly $ofortable% Christia! lea!s o*er, pulls the har!ess o*er y
shoulders, rea$hes bet"ee! y legs for the lo"er belt, a!d slots it i!to the faste!er that rests agai!st
y belly% 3e tighte!s all the restrai!i!g straps%
G3, t"i$e i! o!e or!i!g, 8 a a lu$#y a!,H he "hispers a!d #isses e Bui$#ly%
GThis "o!t ta#e lo!g C t"e!ty, thirty i!utes at ost% Therals are!t great this tie of the
or!i!g, but its so breathta#i!g up there at this hour% 8 hope youre !ot !er*ous%H
GE1$ited%H 8 bea%
Where did this ridi$ulous gri! $oe froI &$tually, part of e is terrified% =y i!!er goddess
C shes u!der a bla!#et behi!d the sofa%
G>ood%H 3e gri!s ba$#, stro#i!g y fa$e, the! disappears fro *ie"%
8 hear a!d feel his o*ee!ts as he $libs i! behi!d e% /f $ourse hes strapped e i! so
tightly 8 $a!t o*e rou!d to see hiL typi$alK We are *ery lo" o! the grou!d% 8! fro!t of e is a
pa!el of dials a!d le*ers a!d a big sti$# thi!g% 8 lea*e "ell alo!e%
=ar# 0e!so! appears "ith a $heerful gri! as he $he$#s y straps a!d lea!s i! a!d $he$#s the
$o$#pit floor% 8 thi!# its the ballast%
GJep, thats se$ure% First tieIH he as#s e%
GJes%H
GJoull lo*e it%H
GTha!#s, =r% 0e!so!%H
GCall e =ar#%H 3e tur!s to Christia!% G/#ayIH
GJep% Lets go%H
8 a so glad 8 ha*e!t eate! a!ythi!g% 8 a beyo!d e1$ited, a!d 8 do!t thi!# y stoa$h
"ould be gae for food, e1$itee!t, a!d lea*i!g the grou!d% /!$e agai!, 8 a putti!g yself i!to
this beautiful a!s s#illed ha!ds% =ar# shuts the $o$#pit lid, strolls o*er to the pla!e i! fro!t, a!d
$libs i!%
The .ipers si!gle propeller starts, a!d y !er*ous stoa$h relo$ates itself to y throat%
=ee:0 I*m really doing this. =ar# ta1is slo"ly do"! the ru!"ay, a!d as the $able ta#es the strai!,
"e sudde!ly @olt for"ard% Were off% 8 hear $hatter o*er the radio set behi!d e% 8 thi!# its =ar#
tal#i!g to the to"er C but 8 $a!t a#e out "hat hes sayi!g%
&s the .iper pi$#s up speed, so do "e% 8ts *ery bupy, a!d i! fro!t of us, the si!gle prop
pla!e is still o! the grou!d% JeeF, "ill "e e*er get upI &!d sudde!ly, y stoa$h disappears fro
y throat a!d free9falls through y body to the grou!d C "ere airbor!e%
G3ere "e go, babyKH Christia! shouts fro behi!d e% &!d "e are i! our o"! bubble, @ust us
t"o% &ll 8 hear is the sou!d of the "i!d rippi!g past a!d the dista!t hu of the .ipers e!gi!e%
8 grippi!g the edge of y seat "ith both ha!ds, so tightly y #!u$#les are "hite%
We head "est, i!la!d a"ay fro the risi!g su!, gai!i!g height, $rossi!g o*er fields a!d
"oods a!d hoes a!d 89'4% Oh my. This is aaFi!g, abo*e us o!ly s#y% The light is e1traordi!ary,
diffuse a!d "ar i! hue, a!d 8 reeber JosNO222P rabli!g o! about Magi$ hour, a tie of day
that photographers adore C this is itL @ust after da"!, a!d 8 i! it, "ith Christia!%
&bruptly, 8 rei!ded of JosNO222Ps sho"% 3% 8 !eed to tell Christia!% 8 "o!der briefly
ho" hell rea$t% 0ut 8 "o!t "orry about that, !ot !o" C 8 e!@oyi!g the ride% =y ears pop as "e
gai! height, a!d the grou!d slips further a!d further a"ay% 8t is so pea$eful%
8 $opletely get "hy he li#es to be up here% &"ay fro his 0la$#0erry a!d all the pressures
of his @ob%
The radio $ra$#les i!to life, a!d =ar# e!tio!s 2,000 feet% JeeF, that sou!ds high,% 8 $he$# the
grou!d, a!d 8 $a! !o lo!ger $learly disti!guish a!ythi!g do"! there%
GDelease,H Christia! says i!to the radio, a!d sudde!ly the .iper disappears, a!d the pulli!g
se!satio! pro*ided by the sall pla!e $eases% Were floati!g, floati!g o*er >eorgia%
7oly fuc( 2 it*s e<citing. The pla!e ba!#s a!d tur!s as the "i!g dips, a!d "e spiral to"ard
the su!% Icarus. 1his is it. 8 a flyi!g $lose to the su!, but hes "ith e, leadi!g e% 8 gasp at the
realiFatio!% We spiral a!d spiral a!d, the *ie" i! this or!i!g light is spe$ta$ular%
G3old o! tightKH he shouts, a!d "e dip agai! C o!ly this tie he does!t stop% sudde!ly, 8 a
upside do"!, loo#i!g at the grou!d through the top of the $o$#pit $a!opy%
8 sBueal loudly, y ars autoati$ally lashi!g out, y ha!ds splayed o! the .erspe1 to stop
e falli!g% 8 $a! hear hi laughi!g% 9astard& 0ut his @oy is i!fe$tious, a!d 8 a laughi!g too as he
rights the pla!e%
G8 glad 8 did!t ha*e brea#fastKH 8 shout at hi%
GJes, i! hi!dsight, its good you did!t, be$ause 8 goi!g to do that agai!%H
3e dips the pla!e o!$e ore u!til "e are upside do"!% This tie, be$ause 8 prepared, 8
ha!g o! to the har!ess, but it a#es e gri! a!d giggle li#e a fool% 3e le*els the pla!e o!$e ore%
G0eautiful, is!t itIH he $alls%
GJes%H
We fly, s"oopi!g a@esti$ally through the air, liste!i!g to the "i!d a!d the sile!$e, i! the
early or!i!g light% Who $ould as# for oreI
GSee the @oy9sti$# i! fro!t of youIH he shouts agai!%
8 loo# at the sti$# that is o*i!g slightly bet"ee! y legs% Oh no "heres he goi!g "ith
thisI
G>rab hold%H
Oh shit. 3es goi!g to a#e e fly the pla!e% "o&
G>o o!, &!astasia% >rab it,H he urges ore *ehee!tly%
Te!tati*ely, 8 grasp it a!d feel the pit$h a!d ya" of "hat 8 assue are rudders a!d paddles or
"hate*er #eeps this thi!g i! the air%
G3old tightL #eep it steady% See the iddle dial i! fro!tI Eeep the !eedle dead $e!ter%H=y
heart is i! y outh% 7oly shit. 8 a flyi!g a gliderL 8 soari!g%
G>ood girl%H Christia! sou!ds delighted%
G8 a aaFed you let e ta#e $o!trol,H 8 shout%
GJoud be aaFed "hat 8d let you do, =iss Steele% 0a$# to e !o"%H
8 feel the @oysti$# o*e sudde!ly, a!d 8 let go as "e spiral do"! se*eral feet, y ears starti!g
to pop agai!% The grou!d is getti!g $loser, a!d it feels li#e "e $ould be hitti!g it shortly% JeeF, thats
s$ary%
G0=&, this is 0> + .apa 2 &lpha, e!teri!g left do"!"i!d ru!"ay se*e! to the grass, 0=&%H
Christia! sou!ds his usual authoritati*e self% The to"er sBua"#s ba$# at hi o*er the radio, but 8
do!t u!dersta!d "hat they say% We sail rou!d agai! i! a "ide $ir$le, si!#i!g slo"ly to the grou!d% 8
$a! see the airport, the la!di!g strips, a!d "ere flyi!g ba$# o*er 89'4%
G3a!g o!, baby% This $a! get bupy%H
&fter a!other $ir$le "e dip, a!d sudde!ly "e are o! the grou!d "ith a brief thup, ra$i!g
alo!g the grass C holy shit. =y teeth $hatter as "e bup at a! alari!g speed alo!g the grou!d,
u!til "e fi!ally $oe to a stop% The pla!e s"ays slightly the! dips to the right%
8 ta#e a deep lu!gful of air "hile Christia! lea!s o*er a!d ope!s the $o$#pit lid, $laberi!g
out a!d stret$hi!g%
G3o" "as thatIH he as#s, a!d his eyes are a shi!i!g, daFFli!g sil*er gray% 3e lea!s do"! to
u!bu$#le e%
GThat "as e1traordi!ary% Tha!# you,H 8 "hisper%
GWas it oreIH he as#s, his *oi$e ti!ged "ith hope%
G=u$h ore,H 8 breathe, a!d he gri!s%
GCoe%H 3e holds out his ha!d for e, a!d 8 $laber out of the $o$#pit%
&s soo! as 8 out, he grabs e a!d holds e flush agai!st his body% Sudde!ly his ha!d is i!
y hair, tuggi!g it so y head tips ba$#, a!d his other ha!d tra*els do"! to the base of y spi!e%
3e #isses e, lo!g, hard, a!d passio!ately, his to!gue i! y outh%
3is breathi!g is ou!ti!g, his ardor 0 7oly cow C his ere$tio!L "ere i! a field% 0ut 8 do!t
$are% =y ha!ds t"ist i! his hair, a!$hori!g hi to e% 8 "a!t hi, here, !o", o! the grou!d% 3e
brea#s a"ay a!d gaFes do"! at e, his eyes !o" dar# a!d lui!ous i! the early or!i!g light, full
of ra", arroga!t se!suality% Wo"% 3e ta#es y breath a"ay%
G0rea#fast,H he "hispers, a#i!g it sou!d deli$iously eroti$%
3o" $a! he a#e ba$o! a!d eggs sou!d li#e forbidde! fruitI 8ts a! e1traordi!ary s#ill% 3e
tur!s, $laspi!g y ha!d, a!d "e head ba$# to"ard the $ar%
GWhat about the gliderIH
GSoeo!e "ill ta#e $are of thatIH, he says disissi*ely% GWell eat !o"%H 3is to!e is
u!eBui*o$al%
'ood& 3es tal#i!g food, "he! really all 8 "a!t is hi%
GCoe%H 3e siles%
8 ha*e !e*er see! hi li#e this, a!d its a @oy to behold% 8 fi!d yself "al#i!g beside hi,
ha!d i! ha!d, "ith a stupid, goofy gri! plastered o! y fa$e% 8t rei!ds e of "he! 8 "as te! a!d
spe!di!g the day i! <is!eyla!d "ith Day% 8t "as a perfe$t day, a!d this is sure shapi!g out to be the
sae%
0a$# i! the $ar, as "e head ba$# alo!g 89'4 to"ards Sa*a!!ah, y pho!e alar goes off% /h
yesL y pill%
GWhats thatIH Christia! as#s, $urious, gla!$i!g at e%
8 fuble i! y purse for the pa$#et%
G&lar for y pill,H 8 utter as y $hee#s flush%
3is lips Buir# up%
G>ood, "ell do!e% 8 hate $o!dos%H
8 flush soe ore% 3es as patro!iFi!g as e*er%
G8 li#e that you i!trodu$ed e to =ar# as your girlfrie!d,H 8 urur%
G8s!t that "hat you areIH 3e raises a! eyebro"%
G& 8I 8 thought you "a!ted a subissi*e%H
GSo did 8, &!astasia, a!d 8 do% 0ut 8*e told you, 8 "a!t ore, too%H
Oh my. 3es $oi!g rou!d, a!d hope surges through e, lea*i!g e breathless%
G8 *ery happy that you "a!t ore,H 8 "hisper%
GWe ai to please, =iss Steele%H 3e sir#s as "e pull i!to the 8!ter!atio!al 3ouse of
.a!$a#es%
G83/.%H 8 gri! ba$# at hi% 8 do!t belie*e it% Who "ould ha*e thoughtL Christia! >rey at
83/.%
8ts ):20 a%% but Buiet i! the restaura!t% 8t sells of s"eet batter, fried food, a!d disi!fe$9ta!t%
7mm0 not such an enticing aroma. Christia! leads e to a booth%
G8 "ould !e*er ha*e pi$tured you here,H 8 say as "e slide i!to a booth%
G=y dad used to bri!g us to o!e of these "he!e*er y o "e!t a"ay at a edi$al
$o!fere!$e% 8t "as our se$ret%H 3e siles at e, gray eyes da!$i!g, the! pi$#s up a e!u, ru!!i!g a
ha!d through his "ay"ard hair as he stares do"! at it%
Oh I want to run my hands through that hair. 8 pi$# up a e!u a!d e1ai!e it% 8 realiFe 8
star*i!g%
G8 #!o" "hat 8 "a!t,H he breathes, his *oi$e lo" a!d hus#y%
8 gla!$e up at hi, a!d hes stari!g at e i! that "ay that tighte!s all the us$les i! y belly
a!d ta#es y breath a"ay, his eyes dar# a!d solderi!g% 7oly shit. 8 gaFe at hi, y blood
si!gi!g i! y *ei!s a!s"eri!g his $all%
G8 "a!t "hat you "a!t,H 8 "hisper%
3e i!hales sharply%
G3ereIH he as#s suggesti*ely, raisi!g a! eyebro" at e, sili!g "i$#edly, his teeth trappi!g
the tip of his to!gue%
Oh my0 se< in I7O/. 3is e1pressio! $ha!ges, gro"i!g dar#er%
G<o!t bite your lip,H he orders% G+ot here, !ot !o"%H 3is eyes harde! oe!tarily, a!d for a
oe!t, he loo#s so deli$iously da!gerous% G8f 8 $a!t ha*e you here, do!t tept e%HG3i, =y
!aes Lea!dra, What $a! 8 get for youL erL fol#sL erL today, this or!i!L IH 3er *oi$e
trails off, stubli!g o*er her "ords as she gets a! eye full of =r%
0eautiful opposite e% She flushes s$arlet, a!d a sall ou!$e of sypathy for her bubbles
u!"el$oe i!to y $o!s$ious!ess be$ause he still does that to e% 3er prese!$e allo"s e to
es$ape briefly fro his se!sual glare%
G&!astasiaIH he propts e, ig!ori!g her, a!d 8 do!t thi!# a!yo!e $ould sBueeFe as u$h
$ar!ality i!to y !ae as he does at that oe!t%
8 s"allo", prayi!g that 8 do!t go the sae $olor as poor Lea!dra%
G8 told you, 8 "a!t "hat you "a!t%H 8 #eep y *oi$e soft, lo", a!d he loo#s at e hu!9grily%
JeeF, y i!!er goddess s"oo!s% Am I up to this game.
Lea!dra loo#s fro e to hi a!d ba$# agai!% Shes pra$ti$ally the sae $olor as her shi!y
red hair%
GShall 8 gi*e you fol#s a!other i!ute to de$ideIH
G+o% We #!o" "hat "e "a!t%H Christia!s outh t"it$hes "ith a sall, se1y sile%
GWell ha*e t"o portio!s of the origi!al butteril# pa!$a#es "ith aple syrup a!d ba$o! o!
the side, t"o glasses of ora!ge @ui$e, o!e bla$# $offee "ith s#i il#, a!d o!e E!glish brea#fast
tea, if you ha*e it,H says Christia!, !ot ta#i!g his eyes off e%
GTha!# you sir% Will that be allIH Lea!dra "hispers, loo#i!g a!y"here but at the t"o of us%
We both tur! to stare at her, a!d she flushes $riso! agai! a!d s$uttles a"ay%
GJou #!o" its really !ot fair%H 8 gla!$e do"! at the Fori$a tabletop, tra$i!g a patter! i! it
"ith y i!de1 fi!ger, tryi!g to sou!d !o!$hala!t%
GWhats !ot fairIH
G3o" you disar people% Woe!% =e%H
G<o 8 disar youIH
8 s!ort%
G&ll the tie%H
G8ts @ust loo#s, &!astasia,H he says ildly%
G+o, Christia!, its u$h ore tha! that%H
3is bro" $reases%
GJou disar e totally, =iss Steele% Jour i!!o$e!$e% 8t $uts through all the $rap%H
G8s that "hy you*e $ha!ged your i!dIH
GCha!ged y i!dIH
GJes C about L errL usIH
3e stro#es his $hi! thoughtfully "ith his lo!g, s#illed fi!gers%
G8 do!t thi!# 8*e $ha!ged y i!d per se% We @ust !eed to re9defi!e our paraeters, re9dra"
our battle li!es, if you "ill% We $a! a#e this "or#, 8 sure% 8 "a!t you subissi*e i! y
playroo% 8 "ill pu!ish you if you digress fro the rules% /ther tha! thatL
"ell, 8 thi!# its all up for dis$ussio!% Those are y reBuiree!ts, =iss Steele% What say you
to thatIH
GSo 8 get to sleep "ith youI 8! your bedIH
G8s that "hat you "a!tIH
GJes%H
G8 agree the!% 0esides, 8 sleep *ery "ell "he! youre i! y bed% 8 had !o idea%H 3is bro"
$reases as his *oi$e fades%
G8 "as frighte!ed youd lea*e e if 8 did!t agree to all of it,H 8 "hisper%
G8 !ot goi!g a!y"here, &!astasia% 0esidesL H 3e trails off, a!d after soe thought, he
adds% GWere follo"i!g your ad*i$e, your defi!itio!: $oproise% Jou eailed it to e% &!d so far,
its "or#i!g for e%H
G8 lo*e that you "a!t ore,H 8 urur shyly%
G8 #!o"%H
G3o" do you #!o"IH
GTrust e% 8 @ust do%H 3e sir#s at e% 3es hidi!g soethi!g% #hat.
&t that oe!t, Lea!dra arri*es "ith brea#fast a!d our $o!*ersatio! $eases% =y stoa$h
rubles, rei!di!g e ho" ra*e!ous 8 a% Christia! "at$hes "ith a!!oyi!g appro*al as 8 de*our
e*erythi!g o! y plate%
GCa! 8 treat youIH 8 as# Christia!%
GTreat e ho"IH
G.ay for this eal%H
Christia! s!orts%
G8 do!t thi!# so%H he s$offs%
G.lease% 8 "a!t to%H
3e fro"!s at e%
G&re you tryi!g to $opletely eas$ulate eIH
GThis is probably the o!ly pla$e that 8ll be able to afford to pay%H
G&!astasia, 8 appre$iate the thought% 8 do% 0ut !o%H
8 purse y lips%
G<o!t s$o"l,H he threate!s, his eyes gli!ti!g oi!ously%
/f $ourse he does!t as# e for y others address% 3e #!o"s it already, stal#er that he is%
Whe! he pulls up outside the house, 8 do!t $oe!t% Whats the poi!tI
G<o you "a!t to $oe i!IH 8 as# shyly%
G8 !eed to "or#, &!astasia, but 8ll be ba$# this e*e!i!g% What tieIH
8 ig!ore the u!"el$oe stab of disappoi!te!t% Why do 8 "a!t to spe!d e*ery si!gle i!ute
"ith this $o!trolli!g se1 godI /h yes, 8*e falle! i! lo*e "ith hi, a!d he $a! fly%
GTha!# youL for the ore%H
G=y pleasure, &!astasia%H 3e #isses e, a!d 8 i!hale his se1y Christia! sell%
G8ll see you later%H
GTry a!d stop e,H he "hispers%
8 "a*e goodbye as he dri*es off i!to the >eorgia su!shi!e% 8 still "eari!g his s"eatshirt
a!d his u!der"ear, a!d 8 too "ar%
8! the #it$he!, y o is i! a $oplete flap% 8ts !ot e*ery day she has to e!tertai! a ulti9
Fillio!aire, a!d its stressi!g her out%
G3o" are you, darli!gIH she as#s, a!d 8 flush be$ause she ust #!o" "hat 8 "as doi!g last
!ight%
G8 good% Christia! too# e glidi!g this or!i!g%H 8 hope the !e" i!foratio! "ill distra$t
her%
G>lidi!gI &s i! a sall pla!e "ith !o e!gi!eI That sort of glidi!gIH
8 !od%
GWo"%H
Shes spee$hless C a !o*el $o!$ept for y other% She gapes at e, but e*e!tually re$o*ers
herself a!d resues her origi!al li!e of Buestio!i!g%
G3o" "as last !ightI <id you tal#IH
=ee:. 8 flush bright s$arlet%
GWe tal#ed C last !ight a!d today% 8ts getti!g better%H
G>ood%H She tur!s her atte!tio! ba$# to the four $oo#ery boo#s she has ope! o! the #it$he!
table%
G=oL if you li#e, 8ll $oo# this e*e!i!g%H
G/h, ho!ey, thats #i!d of you, but 8 "a!t to do it%H
G/#ay%H 8 gria$e, #!o"i!g full "ell that y others $oo#i!g is pretty hit or iss%
.erhaps shes ipro*ed si!$e she o*ed to Sa*a!!ah "ith 0ob% There "as a tie 8 "ould!t
sub@e$t a!yo!e to her $oo#i!gL e*e! C "ho do 8 hateI /h yes C =rs% Dobi!so!
C Ele!a% Well, aybe her% #ill I e6er meet this damned woman.
8 de$ide to se!d a Bui$# tha!#9you to Christia!%
)rom: &!astasia Steele
S1b2ect: Soari!g as opposed to sore9i!g
"ate: Ju!e 2 2011 10:20 EST
$o: Christia! >rey
Soeties, you really #!o" ho" to sho" a girl a good tie%
Tha!# you
&!a 1
)rom: Christia! >rey
S1b2ect: Soari!g *s sore9i!g
"ate: Ju!e 2 2011 10:2S EST
$o: &!astasia Steele
8ll ta#e either of those o*er your s!ori!g% 8 had a good tie too%
0ut 8 al"ays do "he! 8 "ith you%
Christia! >rey
CE/, >rey E!terprises 3oldi!gs 8!$%
)rom: &!astasia Steele
S1b2ect: S+/D8+>
"ate: Ju!e 2 2011 10:2( EST
$o: Christia! >rey
8 </ +/T S+/DE% &!d if 8 do, its *ery u!galla!t of you to poi!t it out%
Jou are !o ge!tlea! =r% >reyK &!d you are i! the <eep South tooK
&!a
)rom: Christia! >rey
S1b2ect: So!iloBuy
"ate: Ju!e 2 2011 10:2) EST
$o: &!astasia Steele
8 ha*e !e*er $laied to be a ge!tlea!, &!astasia, a!d 8 thi!# 8 ha*e deo!strated that poi!t
to you o! !uerous o$$asio!s% 8 a !ot i!tiidated by your S3/5TJ $apitals% 0ut 8 "ill $o!fess
to a sall "hite lie: +o C you do!t s!ore, but you do tal#% &!d its fas$i!ati!g%
What happe!ed to y #issI
Christia! >rey
Cad N CE/, >rey E!terprises 3oldi!gs 8!$%
7oly shit. 8 #!o" 8 tal# i! y sleep% Eate has told e e!ough ties% What the hell ha*e 8
saidI Oh no.
)rom: &!astasia Steele
S1b2ect: Spill the 0ea!s
"ate: Ju!e 2 2011 10:22 EST
$o: Christia! >rey
Jou are a $ad a!d a s$ou!drel C defi!itely !o ge!tlea!%
So, "hat did 8 sayI +o #isses for you u!til you tal#K
)rom: Christia! >rey
S1b2ect: Sleepi!g tal#i!g 0eauty
"ate: Ju!e 2 2011 10:24 EST
$o: &!astasia Steele
8t "ould be ost u!galla!t of e to say, a!d 8 ha*e already bee! $hastised for that%
0ut if you beha*e yourself, 8 ay tell you this e*e!i!g% 8 do ha*e to go i!to a eeti!g !o"%
Laters, baby%
Christia! >rey
CE/, Cad N S$ou!drel, >rey E!terprises 3oldi!gs 8!$%
Right& 8 shall ai!tai! radio sile!$e u!til this e*e!i!g% 8 fue% =ee:. Supposi!g 8*e said 8
hate hi, or "orse still, that 8 lo*e hi, i! y sleep% /h, 8 hope !ot% 8 a !ot ready to tell hi that,
a!d 8 sure hes !ot ready to hear it, if he e*er "a!ts to hear it% 8 s$o"l at y $oputer a!d de$ide
that "hate*er 8 $oo#, 8 "ill a#e bread%
=y o has de$ided o! gaFpa$ho soup a!d a barbe$ue "ith stea#s ari!ated i! oli*e oil,
garli$, a!d leo!% Christia! li#es eat, a!d its siple to do% 0ob has *olu!teered to a! the 00Q
grill% What is it about e! a!d fire, 8 po!der as 8 trail after y other through the superar#et "ith
the shoppi!g $artI
&s "e bro"se the ra" eat $abi!et, y pho!e ri!gs% 8 s$rable for it, thi!#i!g it ay be
Christia!% 8 do!t re$og!iFe the !uber%
G3elloIH 8 a!s"er breathlessly%
G&!astasia SteeleIH
GJes%H
G8ts EliFabeth =orga! fro S8.%H
G/h C hi%H
G8 $alli!g to offer you the @ob of assista!t to =r% Ja$# 3yde% Wed li#e you to start o!
=o!day%H
GWo"% Thats great% Tha!# youKH
GJou #!o" the salary detailsIH
GJes% JesL thats C 8 ea!, 8 a$$ept your offer% 8d lo*e to $oe a!d "or# for you%H
GE1$elle!t% Well see you =o!day at ):20 a%%IH
GSee you the!% >oodbye% &!d tha!# you%H
8 bea at y o%
GJou ha*e a @obIH
8 !od gleefully, a!d she sBueals a!d hugs e i! the iddle of .ubli1 superar#et%
GCo!gratulatio!s, darli!gK We ha*e to buy soe $hapag!eKH Shes $lappi!g her ha!ds a!d
@upi!g up a!d do"!% Is she forty;two or twel6e.
8 gla!$e do"! at y pho!e a!d fro"!, theres a issed $all fro Christia!% 3e !e*er pho!es
e% 8 $all hi straight ba$#%
G&!astasia,H he a!s"ers iediately%
G3i,H 8 urur shyly%
G8 ha*e to retur! to Seattle% Soethi!gs $oe up% 8 a o! y "ay to 3ilto! 3ead !o"%
.lease apologiFe to your other C 8 $a!t a#e di!!er%H 3e sou!ds *ery busi!essli#e%
G+othi!g serious, 8 hopeIH
G8 ha*e a situatio! "hi$h 8 ha*e to deal "ith% 8ll see you Friday% 8ll se!d Taylor to $olle$t
you fro the airport if 8 $a!t $oe yself%H 3e sou!ds $old% &!gry e*e!% 0ut for the first tie, 8
do!t iediately thi!# its e%
G/#ay% 8 hope you sort out your situatio!% 3a*e a safe flight%H
GJou too, baby,H he breathes, a!d "ith those "ords, y Christia! is ba$# briefly% The! he
ha!gs up%
/h !o% The last Msituatio! he had "as y *irgi!ity . =ee: I hope it*s nothing li(e that.
8 gaFe at y o% 3er earlier @ubilatio! has etaorphosed i!to $o!$er!%
G8ts Christia!, hes had to go ba$# to Seattle% 3e apologiFes%H
G/hK Thats a shae, darli!g% We $a! still ha*e our barbe$ue, a!d !o" "e ha*e soethi!g to
$elebrate C your !e" @obK Jou ha*e to tell e all about it%H
8ts late after!oo!, a!d =o a!d 8 are lyi!g beside the pool% =y other has rela1ed to the
poi!t "here she is literally horiFo!tal !o" that =r% =egabu$#s is !ot $oi!g to di!!er% &s 8 lie i!
the su!, e!dea*ori!g to lose the pale, 8 thi!# about yesterday e*e!i!g a!d brea#fast today% 8 thi!#
about Christia!, a!d y ridi$ulous gri! refuses to subside% 8t #eeps $reepi!g a$ross y fa$e,
u!bidde! a!d dis$o!$erti!g, as 8 re$all our *arious $o!*ersatio!s a!d "hat "e didL "hat he did%
There sees to be tidal shift i! Christia!s attitude% 3e de!ies it but C he adits hes tryi!g for
ore% What $ould ha*e $ha!gedI What has altered si!$e he se!t his lo!g eail a!d "he! 8 sa" hi
yesterdayI What has he do!eI 8 sit up sudde!ly, alost spilli!g y <r% .epper% 3e had di!!er
"ithL her. Ele!a%
7oly 'uc(&
=y s$alp pri$#les at the realiFatio!% <id she say soethi!g to hiI /hL to ha*e bee! a fly
o! the "all duri!g their di!!er% 8 $ould ha*e la!ded i! her soup or o! her "i!e glass a!d $ho#ed her%
GWhat is it, &!a, ho!eyIH =o as#s, startled fro her torpor%
G8 @ust ha*i!g a oe!t, =o% What tie is itIH
G&bout (:20 p%%, darli!g%H
3L he "o!t ha*e la!ded yet% Ca! 8 as# hiI Should 8 as# hiI /r perhaps she has
!othi!g to do "ith it% 8 fer*e!tly hope so% What did 8 say i! y sleepI Crap L soe u!guarded
rear# "hile dreai!g about hi, 8 betI Whate*er it is, or "as, 8 hope the sea of $ha!ge is $oi!g
fro "ithi! hi a!d !ot be$ause of her.
8 a s"elteri!g i! this da!ed heat% 8 !eed a!other dip i! the pool%
&s 8 get ready for bed, 8 s"it$h o! y $oputer% 8 ha*e heard !othi!g fro Christia!%
+ot e*e! a "ord that hes arri*ed safely%
)rom: &!astasia Steele
S1b2ect: Safe &rri*alI
"ate: Ju!e 2 2011 22:22 EST
$o: Christia! >rey
<ear Sir
.lease let e #!o" that you ha*e arri*ed safely% 8 a starti!g to "orry% Thi!#i!g of you%
Jour &!a% 1
Three i!utes later, 8 hear the pi!g fro y eail i!9bo1%
)rom: Christia! >rey
S1b2ect: Sorry
"ate: Ju!e 2 2011 1':2(
$o: &!astasia Steele
<ear =iss Steele
8 ha*e arri*ed safely, a!d please a$$ept y apologies for !ot letti!g you #!o"% 8 do!t "a!t to
$ause you a!y "orry, its heart "ari!g to #!o" that you $are for e% 8 a thi!#i!g of you too a!d
as e*er loo#i!g for"ard to seei!g you toorro"%
Christia! >rey
CE/, >rey E!terprises 3oldi!gs 8!$%
8 sigh, Christia! is ba$# to forality%
)rom: &!astasia Steele
S1b2ect: The Situatio!
"ate: Ju!e 2 2011 22:S0 EST
$o: Christia! >rey
<ear =r% >rey
8 thi!# it is *ery e*ide!t that 8 $are for you deeply% 3o" $ould you doubt thatI
8 hope your Msituatio! is i! ha!d%
Jour &!a 1
.S: &re you goi!g to tell e "hat 8 said i! y sleepI
)rom: Christia! >rey
S1b2ect: .leadi!g the Fifth
"ate: Ju!e 2 2011 1':S4
$o: &!astasia Steele
<ear =iss Steele
8 li#e *ery u$h that you $are for e% The Msituatio! here is !ot yet resol*ed%
With regard to your .S: The a!s"er is 9 +o%
Christia! >rey
CE/, >rey E!terprises 3oldi!gs 8!$%
)rom: &!astasia Steele
S1b2ect: .leadi!g 8!sa!ity
"ate: Ju!e 2 2011 22:S) EST
$o: Christia! >rey
8 hope it "as ausi!g% 0ut you should #!o" 8 $a!!ot a$$ept a!y respo!sibility for "hat
$oes out of y outh "he! 8 a u!$o!s$ious% 8! fa$t C you probably isheard e%
& a! of your ad*a!$ed years is surely a little deaf%
)rom: Christia! >rey
S1b2ect: .leadi!g >uilty
"ate: Ju!e 2 2011 1':42
$o: &!astasia Steele
<ear =iss Steele
Sorry, $ould you spea# upI 8 $a!t hear you%
Christia! >rey
CE/, >rey E!terprises 3oldi!gs 8!$%
)rom: &!astasia Steele
S1b2ect: .leadi!g 8!sa!ity &gai!
"ate: Ju!e 2 2011 22:4S EST
$o: Christia! >rey
Jou are dri*i!g e $raFy%
)rom: Christia! >rey
S1b2ect: 8 hope soL
"ate: Ju!e 2 2011 1':4'
$o: &!astasia Steele
<ear =iss Steele
8 i!te!d to do e1a$tly that o! Friday e*e!i!g% Loo#i!g for"ard to it
P-
Christia! >rey
CE/, >rey E!terprises 3oldi!gs 8!$%
)rom: &!astasia Steele
S1b2ect: >rrrrrr
"ate: Ju!e 2 2011 22:02 EST
$o: Christia! >rey
8 a offi$ially pissed at you%
>ood!ight%
=iss &% D% Steele
)rom: Christia! >rey
S1b2ect: Wild Cat
"ate: Ju!e 2 2011 20:04
$o: &!astasia Steele
&re you gro"li!g at e =iss SteeleI
8 possess a $at of y o"! for gro"lers%
Christia! >rey
CE/, >rey E!terprises 3oldi!gs 8!$%
Cat of his o"!I 8*e !e*er see! a $at i! his aparte!t% +o, 8 a !ot goi!g to a!s"er hi%
/h, he $a! be so e1asperati!g soeties% Fifty shades of e1asperati!g% 8 $laber i!to bed a!d
lie glari!g at the $eili!g as y eyes ad@ust to the dar#% 8 hear a!other pi!g fro y $oputer% 8 a
!ot goi!g to loo#% +o defi!itely !ot% +o, 8 a !ot goi!g to loo#% >ahK
Li#e the fool 8 a, 8 $a!!ot resist the lure of Christia! >reys "ords%
)rom: Christia! >rey
S1b2ect: What you said i! your sleep
"ate: Ju!e 2 2011 20:20
$o: &!astasia Steele
&!astasia
8d rather hear you say the "ords that you uttered i! your sleep "he! youre $o!s$ious, thats
"hy 8 "o!t tell you% >o to sleep% Joull !eed to be rested "ith "hat 8 ha*e i! i!d for you
toorro"%
Christia! >rey
CE/, >rey E!terprises 3oldi!gs 8!$%
/h !oL What ha*e 8 saidI 8ts as bad as 8 thi!#, 8 sure%
=y other hugs e tightly%
GFollo" your heart, darli!g, a!d please, please C try !ot to o*er9thi!# thi!gs% Dela1 a!d e!@oy
yourself% Jou are so you!g, s"eetheart% Jou ha*e so u$h of life to e1perie!$e yet, @ust let it
happe!% Jou deser*e the best of e*erythi!g%H 3er heartfelt "ords are $oforti!g "hispered i! y
ear% She #isses y hair%
G/h, =o%H 3ot, u!"el$oe tears pri$# y eyes as 8 $li!g to her%
G<arli!g, you #!o" "hat they say% Jou ha*e to #iss a lot of frogs before you fi!d your
pri!$e%H
8 gi*e her a lopsided, bitters"eet sile%
G8 thi!# 8*e #issed a pri!$e, =o% 8 hope he does!t tur! i!to a frog%H
She gi*es e her ost e!deari!g9otherly9absolute9u!$o!ditio!al9lo*e sile, a!d 8 ar*el at
the lo*e 8 feel for this "oa! as "e hug agai!%
G&!a C theyre $alli!g your flight,H 0obs *oi$e is a!1ious%
GWill you *isit, =oIH
G/f $ourse darli!g C soo!% Lo*e you%H
G=e too%H
3er eyes are red "ith u!shed tears as she releases e% 8 hate lea*i!g her% 8 hug 0ob, a!d
tur!i!g, head to the gate C 8 do !ot ha*e tie for the first $lass lou!ge today% 8 "ill yself !ot to
gla!$e ba$#% 0ut 8 doL a!d 0ob is holdi!g y o, a!d tears are streai!g
do"! her fa$e% 8 $a! !o lo!ger hold i!e ba$#% 8 put y head do"! a!d pro$eed to the gate,
#eepi!g y eyes o! the shi!y, "hite floor, blurred through y "atery tears%
/!$e o! board, i! the lu1ury of first $lass, 8 $url up i! y seat a!d try to $opose yself% 8t is
al"ays pai!ful to "re!$h yself a"ay fro =oL she is s$atty, disorga!iFed, but !e"ly
i!sightful, a!d she lo*es e% 5!$o!ditio!al lo*e C "hat e*ery $hild deser*es fro its pare!ts% 8
fro"! at y "ay"ard thoughts, a!d pulli!g out y 0la$#0erry, stare at it despo!de!tly%
What does Christia! #!o" of lo*eI Sees he did!t get the u!$o!ditio!al lo*e he "as e!titled
to duri!g his *ery early years% =y heart t"ists, a!d y others "ords "aft li#e a Fephyr through
y i!d: )es Ana. 7ell 2 what do you need. 2 a neon sign flashing on his forehead. She thi!#s
Christia! lo*es e, but the! shes y other, of $ourse shed thi!# that% She thi!#s 8 deser*e the
best of e*erythi!g% 8 fro"!% 8ts true, a!d i! a oe!t of startli!g $larity, 8 see it% 8ts *ery siple: 8
"a!t his lo*e% 8 need Christia! >rey to lo*e e%
This is "hy 8 a so reti$e!t about our relatio!ship C be$ause o! soe basi$, fu!dae!tal
le*el, 8 re$og!iFe "ithi! e a deep9seated $opulsio! to be lo*ed a!d $herished%
&!d be$ause of his fifty shades C 8 a holdi!g yself ba$#% The 0<S= is a distra$tio! fro
the real issue% The se1 is aaFi!g, hes "ealthy, hes beautiful, but this is all ea!i!gless "ithout
his lo*e, a!d the real heart9fail is that 8 do!t #!o" if hes $apable of lo*e% 3e does!t e*e! lo*e
hiself% 8 re$all his self9loathi!g, her lo*e bei!g the o!ly for he fou!d C accepta,le. .u!ished C
"hipped, beate!, "hate*er their relatio!ship e!tailed C
he feels u!deser*i!g of lo*e% Why does he feel li#e thatI 3o" $a! he feel li#e thatI 3is "ords
hau!t e: -It*s 6ery hard to grow up in a perfect family when you*re not perfect.*
8 $lose y eyes, iagi!i!g his pai!, a!d 8 $a!t begi! to $oprehe!d it% 8 shudder as 8
reeber that 8 ay ha*e di*ulged too u$h% What ha*e 8 $o!fessed to Christia! i! y sleepI
What se$rets ha*e 8 re*ealedI
8 stare at the 0la$#0erry i! the *ague hope that it "ill gi*e e soe a!s"ers% Dather
u!surprisi!gly, it is !ot *ery forth$oi!g% &s "e ha*e!t ta#e! off yet, 8 de$ide to eail y Fifty
Shades%
)rom: &!astasia Steele
S1b2ect: 3oe"ard 0ou!d
"ate: Ju!e 2 2011 12:42 EST
$o: Christia! >rey
<ear =r% >rey
8 a o!$e agai! e!s$o!$ed i! first $lass, for "hi$h 8 tha!# you% 8 a $ou!ti!g the i!utes
u!til 8 see you this e*e!i!g, a!d perhaps torturi!g the truth out of you about y !o$tur!al
adissio!s%
Jour &!a 1
)rom: Christia! >rey
S1b2ect: 3oe"ard 0ou!d
"ate: Ju!e 2 2011 0':4)
$o: &!astasia Steele
&!astasia, 8 loo# for"ard to seei!g you%
Christia! >rey
CE/, >rey E!terprises 3oldi!gs 8!$%
3is respo!se a#es e fro"!% 8t sou!ds $lipped a!d foral, !ot his usual "itty, pithy style%
)rom: &!astasia Steele
S1b2ect: 3oe"ard 0ou!d
"ate: Ju!e 2 2011 12:01 EST
$o: Christia! >rey
<earest =r% >rey
8 hope e*erythi!g is o#ay re Mthe situatio!% The to!e of your eail is "orryi!g%
&!a 1
)rom: Christia! >rey
S1b2ect: 3oe"ard 0ou!d
"ate: Ju!e 2 2011 10:0S
$o: &!astasia Steele
&!astasia
The situatio! $ould be better% 3a*e you ta#e! off yetI 8f so you should !ot be eaili!g%
Jou are putti!g yourself at ris#, i! dire$t $o!tra*e!tio! of the rule regardi!g your perso!al
safety% 8 ea!t "hat 8 said about pu!ishe!ts%
Christia! >rey
CE/, >rey E!terprises 3oldi!gs 8!$%
Crap. O(ay. JeeF% What is eati!g hiI .erhaps Mthe situatio!I =aybe Taylors go!e &W/L,
aybe hes dropped a fe" illio! o! the sto$# ar#et C "hate*er the reaso!%
)rom: &!astasia Steele
S1b2ect: /*er9Dea$tio!
"ate: Ju!e 2 2011 12:0( EST
$o: Christia! >rey
<ear =r% >rupy
The air$raft doors are still ope!% We are delayed but o!ly by te! i!utes% =y "elfare a!d that
of the passe!gers arou!d e is *ou$hsafed% Jou ay sto" your t"it$hy pal
for !o"%
=iss Steele
)rom: Christia! >rey
S1b2ect: &pologies 9 T"it$hy .al Sto"ed
"ate: Ju!e 2 2011 10:0)
$o: &!astasia Steele
8 iss you a!d your sart outh =iss Steele%
8 "a!t you safely hoe%
Christia! >rey
CE/, >rey E!terprises 3oldi!gs 8!$%
)rom: &!astasia Steele
S1b2ect: &pology &$$epted
"ate: Ju!e 2 2011 12:10 EST
$o: Christia! >rey
They are shutti!g the doors% Jou "o!t hear a!other peep fro e, espe$ially gi*e! your
deaf!ess%
Laters%
&!a 1
8 s"it$h off the 0la$#0erry, u!able to sha#e y a!1iety% Soethi!g is up "ith Christia!%
.erhaps Mthe situatio! is out of ha!d% 8 sit ba$#, gla!$i!g up at the lo$#er "here y bags are
sto"ed% 8 a!aged this or!i!g, "ith y others help, to buy Christia! a sall gift to say tha!#
you for first $lass a!d for the glidi!g% 8 sile at the eory of the soari!g C
that "as soethi!g else% 8 do!t #!o" yet if 8ll gi*e y silly gift to hi% 3e ight thi!# its
$hildish C a!d if hes i! a stra!ge ood, aybe !ot% 8 a both eager to retur! a!d apprehe!si*e of
"hat a"aits e at y @our!eys e!d% &s 8 e!tally fli$# through all the s$e!arios that $ould be Mthe
situatio!, 8 be$oe a"are that o!$e agai! the o!ly epty seat is beside e% 8 sha#e y head as the
thought $rosses y i!d that Christia! ight ha*e pur$hased the ad@a$e!t seat so that 8 $ould!t
tal# to a!yo!e% 8 disiss the idea as ridi$ulous C !o o!e $ould be that $o!trolli!g, that @ealous,
surely% 8 $lose y eyes as the pla!e ta1is to"ards the ru!"ay%
8 eerge i!to the Sea9Ta$ arri*als teri!al eight hours later to fi!d Taylor "aiti!g a!d holdi!g
up a board that reads Miss A %teele. 7onestly& 0ut its good to see hi%
G3ello, Taylor%H
G=iss Steele,H he greets e forally, but 8 see a hi!t of sile i! his sharp bro"! eyes%
3e loo#s his usual ia$ulate self C sart $har$oal suit, "hite shirt, a!d $har$oal tie%
G8 do #!o" "hat you loo# li#e Taylor, you do!t !eed a board, a!d 8 do "ish youd $all e,
&!a%H
G&!a% Ca! 8 ta#e your bags, pleaseIH
G+o, 8 $a! a!age% Tha!# you%H
3is lips tighte! per$eptibly%
G0ut, if youd be ore $ofortable ta#i!g the,H 8 staer%
GTha!# you%H 3e grabs y ba$#pa$# a!d y !e"ly a$Buired "heelie $ase for the $lothes y
other has bought e% GThis "ay, aa%H
8 sigh% 3es so polite% 8 reeber, though 8 "ould li#e to erase it fro y eory, that this
a! has bought e u!der"ear% 8! fa$t C a!d the thought u!settles e C hes the o!ly a! "hos
e*er bought e u!der"ear% E*e! Days !e*er had to e!dure that hardship%
We "al# i! sile!$e to the bla$# &udi S5A outside i! the airport par#i!g lot, a!d he holds the
door ope! for e% 8 $laber i!, "o!deri!g if "eari!g su$h a short s#irt for the retur! to Seattle "as
a good idea% 8t "as $ool a!d "el$oe i! >eorgia% 3ere 8 feel e1posed% /!$e Taylor has sto"ed y
bags i! the tru!#, "e set off for Es$ala%
The @our!ey is slo", $aught up i! rush hour traffi$% Taylor #eeps his eyes o! the road ahead%
Ta$itur! does !ot begi! to des$ribe hi%
8 $a! bear the sile!$e !o lo!ger%
G3o"s Christia!, TaylorIH
G=r% >rey is preo$$upied, =iss Steele%H
/h, this ust be Mthe situatio!% 8 a i!i!g a sea of gold%
G.reo$$upiedIH
GJes, aa%H
8 fro"! at Taylor, a!d he gla!$es at e i! the rear9*ie" irror, our eyes eet% 3es sayi!g !o
ore% JeeF, he $a! be as tightlipped as the $o!trol frea# hiself%
G8s he o#ayIH
G8 belie*e so, aa%H
G&re you ore $ofortable $alli!g e, =iss SteeleIH
GJes, aa%H
G/h, o#ay%H
Well, that $urtails our $o!*ersatio!, a!d "e $o!ti!ue i! sile!$e% 8 begi! to thi!# that Taylors
re$e!t slip, "he! he told e that Christia! had bee! hell o! "heels, "as a! a!o9aly% .erhaps hes
ebarrassed about it, "orried that hes bee! disloyal% The sile!$e is suffo$ati!g%
GCould you put soe usi$ o! pleaseIH
GCertai!ly, aa% What "ould you li#e to hearIH
GSoethi!g soothi!g%H
8 see a sile play o! Taylors lips as our eyes eet briefly agai! i! the irror%
GJes, aa%H
3e pushes a fe" butto!s o! the steeri!g "heel, a!d the ge!tle strai!s of .a$helbels $a!o!
fills the spa$e bet"ee! us% Oh yes L this is "hat 8 !eed%
GTha!# you%H 8 sit ba$# as "e dri*e slo"ly but steadily alo!g the 894 i!to Seattle%
T"e!ty9fi*e i!utes, later he drops e outside the ipressi*e faNO221Pade that is the
e!tra!$e to Es$ala%
G8! you go, aa,H he says, holdi!g the door ope! for e% G8ll bri!g up your luggage is%H3
e1pressio! is soft, "ar, a*u!$ular e*e!%
=ee:0 5!$le Taylor, "hat a thought%
GTha!# you for eeti!g e%H
G8ts a pleasure, =iss Steele%H 3e siles, a!d 8 head i!to the buildi!g% The doora! !ods a!d
"a*es%
&s 8 ride up to the thirtieth floor, a thousa!d butterflies stret$h their "i!gs a!d flutter
errati$ally i! y stoa$h% #hy am I so ner6ous. &!d 8 #!o" its be$ause 8 ha*e !o idea "hat #i!d
of ood Christia!s goi!g to be i! "he! 8 arri*e% =y i!!er goddess is hopeful for o!e type of ood,
y sub$o!s$ious, li#e e, is fraught "ith !er*es%
The ele*ator doors ope!, a!d 8 i! the foyer% 8t is so stra!ge !ot to be et by Taylor%
/f $ourse, hes par#i!g the $ar% 8! the great roo, Christia! is o! his 0la$#0erry tal#i!g
Buietly as he stares out of the glass doors at the early e*e!i!g Seattle s#yli!e% 3es "eari!g a gray
suit "ith the @a$#et u!do!e, a!d hes ru!!i!g his ha!d through his hair, hes% 3 agi9tated, te!se e*e!%
Oh no 2 what*s wrong. &gitated or !ot, hes still beyo!d beautiful% 3o" $a! he loo# soL
arresti!gI 8ts su$h a pleasure to sta!d a!d dri!# i! the sheer sight of hi%
G+o tra$eL /#ayL Jes%H 3e tur!s a!d sees e, a!d his "hole deea!or $ha!ges%
Fro te!sio! to relief to soethi!g else: a loo# that $alls dire$tly to y i!!er goddess, a loo#
of se!sual $ar!ality, gray eyes blaFi!g%
=y outh goes dry a!d desire bloos i! y bodyL whoa.
GEeep e i!fored,H he s!aps a!d shuts off his pho!e as he strides purposefully to"ard e% 8
sta!d paralyFed as he $loses the dista!$e bet"ee! us, de*ouri!g e "ith his eyes% 7oly shit L
soethi!gs aiss C the strai! i! his @a", the a!1iety arou!d his eyes%
3e shrugs out of his @a$#et, u!does his dar# tie, a!d sli!gs the both o! to the $ou$h e! route
to e% The! his ars are "rapped arou!d e, a!d hes pulli!g e to hi, hard, fast, grippi!g y
po!ytail to tilt y head up, #issi!g e li#e his life depe!ds o! it% #hat the hell. 3e drags the hair
tie pai!fully out of y hair, but 8 do!t $are% Theres a desperate, prial Buality to his #iss% 3e !eeds
e, for "hate*er reaso!, at this poi!t i! tie, a!d 8 ha*e !e*er felt so desired a!d $o*eted% 8ts dar#
a!d se!sual a!d alari!g all at the sae tie% 8 #iss hi ba$# "ith eBual fer*or, y fi!gers t"isti!g
a!d fisti!g i! his hair% /ur to!gues e!t"i!ed, our passio! a!d ardor erupti!g bet"ee! us% 3e tastes
di*i!e, hot, se1y, a!d his s$e!t C all body "ash a!d Christia! is so arousi!g% 3e drags his outh
a"ay fro i!e, a!d hes stari!g do"! at e, gripped by soe u!!aed eotio!%
GWhats "ro!gIH 8 breathe%
G8 so glad youre ba$#% Sho"er "ith e C !o"%H
8 $a!t de$ide if its a reBuest or a $oa!d%
GJes,H 8 "hisper, a!d he grabs y ha!d, leadi!g e out of the big roo i!to his bedroo to
his bathroo%
/!$e there, he releases e a!d sets the "ater ru!!i!g i! the far too spa$ious sho"er%
Tur!i!g slo"ly, he gaFes at e, eyes hooded%
G8 li#e your s#irt% 8ts *ery short,H he says, his *oi$e lo"% GJou ha*e great legs%H
3e steps out of his shoes a!d rea$hes do"! to ta#e ea$h of his so$#s off, !e*er ta#i!g his eyes
off e% 8 a re!dered spee$hless by the loo# of hu!ger i! his eyes% #ow L to be this "a!ted by this
>ree# god% 8 irror his a$tio!s a!d step out of y bla$# flats% Sudde!ly, he rea$hes for e, ba$#i!g
e up agai!st the "all% Eissi!g e, y fa$e, y throat, y lipsL ru!!i!g his ha!ds i!to y hair% 8
feel the $ool, sooth tiled "all at y ba$# as he pushes hiself agai!st e so that 8 flatte!ed
bet"ee! his heat a!d the $hill of the $erai$% Te!tati*ely, 8 pla$e y ars o! his upper ars, a!d he
groa!s as 8 sBueeFe tightly%
G8 "a!t you !o"% 3ereL fast, hard,H he breathes, a!d his ha!ds are o! y thighs, pushi!g up
y s#irt% G&re you still bleedi!gIH
G+o%H 8 flush%
G>ood%H
3is thubs hoo# o*er y "hite $otto! pa!ties, a!d abruptly he drops to his #!ees as he tugs
the off% =y s#irt is !o" ru$#ed up so that 8 !a#ed fro the "aist do"! a!d pa!ti!g, "a!ti!g%
3e grabs y hips, pushi!g e agai!st the "all agai!, a!d #isses e at the ape1 of y thighs%
>rabbi!g y upper thighs, he for$es y legs apart% 8 groa! loudly, feeli!g his to!gue $ir$li!g y
$litoris% Oh my. Tippi!g y head ba$# i!*olu!tarily, 8 oa! as y fi!gers fi!d their "ay i!to this
hair%
3is to!gue is rele!tless, stro!g a!d i!siste!t, la*i!g e C s"irli!g rou!d a!d rou!d, agai! a!d
agai! C !o!9stop% 8ts e1Buisite, the i!te!sity of feeli!g C its alost pai!ful% =y body starts to
Bui$#e!, a!d he releases e% #hat. "o& =y breathi!g is ragged as 8 pa!t, gaFi!g at hi "ith
deli$ious a!ti$ipatio!% 3e grabs y fa$e "ith both ha!ds, holdi!g e firly, a!d he #isses e hard,
thrusti!g his to!gue i!to y outh so 8 $a! taste y arousal%
5!Fippi!g his fly, he frees hiself, grabs the ba$#s of y thighs, a!d lifts e%
GWrap your legs arou!d e, baby,H he $oa!ds, his *oi$e urge!t, strai!ed%
8 do as 8 told a!d "rap y ars arou!d his !e$#, a!d he o*es Bui$#ly a!d sharply, filli!g
e% Ah& 3e gasps, a!d 8 groa!% 3oldi!g y behi!d, his fi!gers diggi!g i!to y soft flesh, he
begi!s to o*e, slo"ly at first C a steady e*e! tepoL but as his $o!trol u!ra*els, he speeds upL
faster, a!d faster% Ahhh& 8 tip y head ba$# a!d $o!$e!trate o! the i!*adi!g, pu!ishi!g, hea*e!ly
se!satio!L pushi!g e, pushi!g eL o!"ard, higher, upL a!d "he! 8 $a! ta#e !o ore, 8
e1plode arou!d hi, spirali!g i!to a! i!te!se, all9$o!sui!g orgas% 3e lets go "ith a deep gro"l,
a!d he buries his head i! y !e$# as he buries hiself i!side e, groa!i!g loudly a!d i!$ohere!tly
as he fi!ds his release%
3is breathi!g is errati$, but he #isses e te!derly, !ot o*i!g, still i!side e, a!d 8 bli!#,
u!seei!g i!to his eyes% &s he $oes i!to fo$us, he ge!tly pulls out of e, holdi!g e steady "hile 8
pla$e y feet o! the floor% The bathroo is !o" $loudy "ith steaL
a!d hot% 8 feel o*erdressed%
GJou see pleased to see e,H 8 urur "ith a shy sile%
3is lips Buir# up%
GJes, =iss Steele, 8 thi!# y pleasure is pretty self9e*ide!t% Coe C let e get you i! the
sho"er%H
3e u!does the !e1t three butto!s of his shirt, reo*es the $uffli!#s, tugs it o*er his head, a!d
dis$ards it o! the floor% Deo*i!g his suit pa!ts a!d bo1er briefs, he #i$#s the to o!e side% 3e
begi!s to u!do the butto!s o! y blouse "hile 8 "at$h hi, year!i!g to rea$h out a!d stro#e his
$hest, but 8 $o!tai! yself%
G3o" "as your @our!eyIH he as#s ildly% 3e sees so u$h $aler !o", his apprehe!sio!
go!e, dissol*ed by se1ual $o!gress%
GFi!e, tha!# you,H 8 urur, still breathless% GTha!#s o!$e agai! for first $lass% 8t really is a
u$h !i$er "ay to tra*el%H 8 sile shyly at hi% G8 ha*e soe !e"s,H 8 add !er*ously%
G/hIH he loo#s do"! at e as he u!does the last butto!, slips y blouse do"! y ars, a!d
thro"s it o! top of his dis$arded $lothes%
G8 ha*e a @ob%H
3e stills, the! siles at e, his eyes "ar a!d soft%
GCo!gratulatio!s, =iss Steele% +o" "ill you tell e "hereIH he teases%
GJou do!t #!o"IH
3e sha#es his head, fro"!i!g slightly%
GWhy "ould 8 #!o"IH
GWith your stal#i!g $apabilities, 8 thought you ight ha*eL H 8 trail off as his fa$e
falls%G&!astasia, 8 "ould!t drea of i!terferi!g i! your $areer, u!less you as# e to, of $ourse%H
3e loo#s "ou!ded%
GSo you ha*e !o idea "hi$h $opa!yIH
G+o% 8 #!o" there are four publishi!g $opa!ies i! Seattle C so 8 a assui!g its o!e of
the%H
GS8.H
G/h, the sall o!e, good% Well do!e%H 3e lea!s for"ard a!d #isses y forehead%
GCle*er girl% Whe! do you startIH
G=o!day%H
GThat soo!, ehI 8d better ta#e ad*a!tage of you "hile 8 still $a!% Tur! rou!d%H
8 a thro"! by his $asual $oa!d, but do as 8 bid, a!d he u!does y bra a!d u!Fips y
s#irt% 3e pushes y s#irt do"!, $uppi!g y behi!d as he does, a!d #issi!g y shoulder% 3e lea!s
agai!st, e a!d his !ose !uFFles y hair, i!hali!g deeply% 3e sBueeFes y butto$#s%
GJou i!to1i$ate e, =iss Steele, a!d you $al e% Su$h a heady $obi!atio!%H 3e #isses y
hair% >rabbi!g y ha!d, he tugs e i!to the sho"er%
G/",H 8 sBueal% The "ater is pra$ti$ally s$aldi!g% Christia! gri!s do"! at e as the "ater
$as$ades o*er hi%
G8ts o!ly a little hot "ater%H
&!d a$tually hes right% 8t feels hea*e!ly, "ashi!g off the sti$#y >eorgia or!i!g a!d the
sti$#i!ess fro our lo*ea#i!g%
GTur! rou!d,H he orders, a!d 8 $oply, tur!i!g to fa$e the "all% G8 "a!t to "ash you,H
he ururs a!d rea$hes for the body "ash% 3e sBuirts a little i!to his ha!d%
G8 ha*e soethi!g else to tell you,H 8 urur as his ha!ds start o! y shoulders%
G/h, yesIH he as#s ildly%
8 steel yself "ith a deep breath%
G=y frie!d JosNO222Ps photography sho" is ope!i!g Thursday i! .ortla!d%H
3e stills, his ha!ds ho*eri!g o*er y breasts% 8 ha*e ephasiFed the "ord Mfrie!d%
GJes, "hat about itIH he as#s ster!ly%
G8 said 8 "ould go% <o you "a!t to $oe "ith eIH
&fter "hat feels li#e a o!ue!tal aou!t of tie, he slo"ly starts "ashi!g e agai!%
GWhat tieIH
GThe ope!i!g is at 7:20 p%%H
3e #isses y ear%
G/#ay%H
8!side y sub$o!s$ious rela1es a!d the! $ollapses, sluped i!to a! old battered ar9
$hair%GWere you !er*ous about as#i!g eIH
GJes% 3o" $a! you tellIH
G&!astasia, your "hole bodys @ust rela1ed,H he says dryly%
GWell, you @ust see to be uL o! the @ealous side%H
GJes, 8 a,H he says dar#ly% G&!d youd do "ell to reeber that% 0ut tha!# you for as#i!g%
Well ta#e Charlie Ta!go%H
/h, the heli$opter of $ourse, silly e% =ore flyi!gL $oolK 8 gri!%
GCa! 8 "ash youIH 8 as#%
G8 do!t thi!# so,H he ururs, a!d he #isses e ge!tly o! y !e$# to ta#e the sti!g out of
his refusal% 8 pout at the "all as he $aresses y ba$# "ith soap%
GWill you e*er let e tou$h youIH 8 as# boldly%
3e stills agai!, his ha!d o! y behi!d%
G.ut your ha!ds o! the "all &!astasia% 8 goi!g to ta#e you agai!,H he ururs i! y ear as
he grabs y hips, a!d 8 #!o" that the dis$ussio! is o*er%
Later "e are seated at the brea#fast bar, dressed i! bathrobes, ha*i!g $o!sued =rs%
Jo!ess rather e1$elle!t pasta alle *o!gole%
G=ore "i!eIH Christia! as#s, gray eyes glo"i!g%
G& sall glass, please%H The Sa!$erre is $risp a!d deli$ious% Christia! pours o!e for e a!d
o!e for hiself%
G3o"s the uL situatio! that bought you to SeattleIH 8 as# te!tati*ely%
3e fro"!s%
G/ut of ha!d,H he ururs bitterly% G0ut !othi!g for you to "orry about, &!astasia% 8 ha*e
pla!s for you this e*e!i!g%H
G/hIH
GJes% 8 "a!t you ready a!d "aiti!g i! y playroo i! fiftee! i!utes%H 3e sta!ds a!d gaFes
do"! at e%
GJou $a! get ready i! your roo% 8!$ide!tally, the "al#9i! $loset is !o" full of $lothes for
you% 8 do!t "a!t a!y argue!ts about the%H 3e !arro"s his eyes, dari!g e to say soethi!g%
Whe! 8 do!t, he stal#s off to his study%
Me& Argue. With you, Fifty ShadesI 8ts ore tha! y ba$#sides "orth% 8 sit o! the bar
stool, oe!tarily stupefied, tryi!g to assiilate this orsel of i!foratio!% 3es bought e
$lothes% 8 roll y eyes i! a! e1aggerated fashio! #!o"i!g full "ell he $a!t see e% Car, pho!e,
$oputerL $lothes, itll be a da! $o!do !e1t, a!d the! 8 really "ill be his istress%
7o& =y sub$o!s$ious has her s!ar#y fa$e o!% 8 ig!ore her a!d a#e y "ay upstairs to"ard
my roo so, it is still i!eL "hyI 8 thought hed agreed to let e sleep "ith hi%
8 suppose hes !ot used to shari!g his perso!al spa$e, but the!, !either a 8% 8 $o!sole yself
"ith the thought that at least 8 ha*e soe"here to es$ape fro hi%
E1ai!i!g the door, 8 fi!d that it has a lo$# but !o #ey% 8 "o!der briefly if =rs% Jo!es has a
spare% 8ll as# her% 8 ope! the $loset door a!d $lose it agai! Bui$#ly% 7oly Crap 2 he*s spent a
fortune. 8t resebles Eates C so a!y $lothes ha!gi!g !eatly o! the rail% <eep do"!, 8 #!o" that
theyll all fit% 0ut 8 ha*e !o tie to thi!# about that C 8 ha*e to get #!eeli!g i! the Ded Doo ofL
.ai!L or .leasure C hopefully this e*e!i!g%
E!eeli!g by the door, 8 a !a#ed e1$ept for y pa!ties% =y heart is i! y outh% JeeF, 8
thought after the bathroo he "ould ha*e had e!ough% The a! is i!satiable, or aybe all e! are
li#e hi% 8 ha*e !o idea, !o o!e to $opare hi too% Closi!g y eyes, 8 try to $al yself do"!, to
$o!!e$t "ith y i!!er sub% Shes there soe"here, hidi!g behi!d y i!!er goddess%
&!ti$ipatio! ru!s bubbli!g li#e soda through y *ei!s% What "ill he doI 8 ta#e a deep
steadyi!g breath, but 8 $a!!ot de!y it, 8 e1$ited, aroused, "et already% This is soL 8 "a!t to thi!#
wrong but soeho" its !ot% 8ts right for Christia!% 8ts "hat he "a!ts C a!d after the last fe"
daysL after all hes do!e, 8 ha*e to a! up a!d ta#e "hate*er he de$ides he "a!ts, "hate*er he
thi!#s he !eeds%
The eory of his loo# "he! 8 $ae i! this e*e!i!g, the lo!gi!g i! his fa$e, his deteri!ed
stride to"ard e li#e 8 "as a! oasis i! the desert% 8d do alost a!ythi!g to see that loo# agai!% 8
press y thighs together at the deli$ious eory, a!d it rei!ds e that 8 !eed to spread y #!ees%
8 shuffle the apart% 3o" lo!g "ill he a#e e "aitI The "ait is $rippli!g e, $rippli!g e "ith a
dar# a!d ta!taliFi!g desire% 8 gla!$e Bui$#ly arou!d the subtly lit rooP the $ross, the table, the
$ou$h, the be!$hL that bed% 8t loos so large, a!d its ade up "ith red sati! sheets% Whi$h pie$e
of apparatus "ill he useI
The door ope!s a!d Christia! breeFes i!, ig!ori!g e $opletely% 8 gla!$e do"! Bui$#ly,
stari!g at y ha!ds, positio!ed "ith $are o! y spread thighs% .la$i!g soethi!g o! the large $hest
beside the door, he strolls $asually to"ard the bed% 8 i!dulge yself i! a Bui$# glipse at hi, a!d
y heart alost lur$hes to a stop% 3es !a#ed e1$ept for those soft ripped @ea!s, top butto! $asually
u!do!e% =ee: he loo(s so frea(ing hot. =y sub$o!s$ious is fra!ti$ally fa!!i!g herself, a!d y
i!!er goddess is s"ayi!g a!d "rithi!g to soe prial $ar!al rhyth% Shes so ready% 8 li$# y lips
i!sti!$ti*ely% =y blood pou!ds through y body, thi$# a!d hea*y "ith sala$ious hu!ger% #hat is he
going to do to me.
Tur!i!g, he !o!$hala!tly "al#s ba$# to the $hest of dra"ers% /pe!i!g o!e, he begi!s to
reo*e ites a!d pla$e the o! the top% =y $uriosity bur!s, blaFes e*e!, but 8 resist the
o*er"heli!g teptatio! to s!ea# a Bui$# pee#% Whe! he fi!ishes "hat hes doi!g, he $oes to
sta!d i! fro!t of e% 8 $a! see his !a#ed feet, a!d 8 "a!t to #iss e*ery i!$h of theL ru! y to!gue
o*er his i!step, su$# ea$h of his toes% 7oly shit.
GJou loo# lo*ely,H he breathes%
8 #eep y head do"!, $o!s$ious that hes stari!g at e "hile 8 a pra$ti$ally !a#ed% 8 feel the
flush as it slo"ly spreads o*er y fa$e% 3e be!ds do"! a!d $ups y $hi!, for$i!g y fa$e up to
eet his gaFe%
GJou are o!e beautiful "oa!, &!astasia% &!d youre all i!e,H he ururs% GSta!d up%H 3is
$oa!d is soft full of se!sual proise%
Sha#ily, 8 get to y feet%
GLoo# at e,H he breathes, a!d 8 stare up i!to his solderi!g gray gaFe% 8t is his <o gaFe C
$old, hard, a!d se1y as hell, se*e! shades of si! i! o!e e!ti$i!g loo#% =y outh dries, a!d 8 #!o" 8
"ill do a!ythi!g he as#s% &! alost $ruel sile plays a$ross his lips%
GWe do!t ha*e a sig!ed $o!tra$t, &!astasia% 0ut "e*e dis$ussed liits% &!d 8 "a!t to re9
iterate "e ha*e safe "ords, o#ayIH
7oly fuc( L "hat has he got pla!!ed that 8 !eed safe "ordsI
GWhat are theyIH he as#s authoritati*ely%
8 fro"! slightly at his Buestio!, a!d his fa$e harde!s per$eptibly%
GWhat are the safe "ords, &!astasiaIH he says slo"ly a!d deliberately%
GJello",H 8 uble%
G&!dIH he propts, his outh setti!g i! a hard li!e%
GDed,H 8 breathe%
GDeeber those%H
&!d 8 $a!t help itL 8 raise y eyebro" at hi a!d a about to rei!d hi of y >.&, but
the sudde! frosty gli!t i! his i$y gray eyes stops e i! y tra$#s%
G<o!t start "ith your sart outh i! here, =iss Steele% /r 8 "ill fu$# it "ith you o! your
#!ees% <o you u!dersta!dIH
8 s"allo" i!sti!$ti*ely% O(ay. 8 bli!# rapidly, $haste!ed% &$tually, its his to!e of *oi$e,
rather tha! the threat, that i!tiidates e%
GWellIH
GJes, Sir,H 8 uble hastily%
G>ood girl,H he pauses as he stares at e% G=y i!te!tio! is !ot that you should safe"ord
be$ause youre i! pai!% What 8 i!te!d to do to you "ill be i!te!se% Aery i!te!se, a!d you ha*e to
guide e% <o you u!dersta!dIH
"ot really. Intense. #ow.
GThis is about tou$h, &!astasia% Jou "ill !ot be able to see e or hear e% 0ut youll be able
to feel e%H
8 fro"! C not hear him. 3o" is that goi!g to "or#I 3e tur!s, a!d 8 had!t !oti$ed that
abo*e the $hest is a slee#, flat, att9bla$# bo1% &s he "a*es his ha!d i! fro!t, the bo1 splits i! half:
t"o doors slide ope! re*eali!g a C< player a!d a host of butto!s% Christia! presses se*eral of these
butto!s i! seBue!$e% +othi!g happe!s, but he sees satisfied% 8 a ystified% Whe! he tur!s to fa$e
e agai!, he "ears his sall 89ha*e9a9se$ret sile%
G8 a goi!g to tie you to that bed, &!astasia% 0ut 8 goi!g to bli!dfold you first a!d,H
he re*eals his i.od i! his ha!d, Gyou "ill !ot be able to hear e% &ll you "ill hear is the usi$
8 a goi!g to play for you%H
/#ay% & usi$al i!terlude, !ot "hat 8 "as e1pe$ti!g% <oes he e*er do "hat 8 e1pe$tI
=ee: I hope it*s not rap.
GCoe%H Ta#i!g y ha!d, he leads e o*er to the a!tiBue four9poster bed% There are sha$#les
atta$hed at ea$h $or!er, fi!e etal $hai!s "ith leather $uffs, gli!ti!g agai!st the red sati!%
/h boy, 8 thi!# y heart is goi!g to lea*e y $hest, a!d 8 elti!g fro the i!side out,
desire $oursi!g through e% Could 8 be a!y ore e1$itedI
GSta!d here%H
8 a fa$i!g the bed% 3e lea!s do"! a!d "hispers i! y ear%
GWait here, #eep your eyes o! the bed% .i$ture yourself lyi!g here bou!d a!d totally at y
er$y%H
Oh my.
3e o*es a"ay for a oe!t, a!d 8 $a! hear hi !ear the door fet$hi!g soethi!g%
&ll y se!ses are hyper alert, y heari!g ore a$ute% 3es pi$#ed up soethi!g fro the
ra$# of "hips a!d paddles by the door% 7oly cow. #hat is he going to do.
8 feel hi behi!d e% 3e ta#es y hair, pulls it i!to a po!ytail behi!d e, a!d starts to braid
it%
GWhile 8 li#e your pigtails, &!astasia, 8 a too ipatie!t to be at you right !o"% So o!e "ill
ha*e to do%H 3is *oi$e is lo", soft%
3is deft fi!gers s#i y ba$# o$$asio!ally as they "or# do"! y hair, a!d ea$h $asual tou$h
is li#e a s"eet, ele$tri$ sho$# agai!st y s#i!% 3e faste!s the e!d "ith a hair tie, the! ge!tly tugs
the braid so that 8 for$ed to step ba$# flush agai!st hi% 3e pulls agai! to the side so that 8 a!gle
y head, gi*i!g hi easier a$$ess to y !e$#% Lea!i!g do"!, he !uFFles y !e$#% Tra$i!g his teeth
a!d to!gue fro the base of y ear to y shoulder%
3e hus softly as he does, a!d the sou!d reso!ates through e% Dight do"!%%% right do"!
there i!side e% 5!bidde!, 8 groa! Buietly%
G3ush !o",H he breathes agai!st y s#i!% 3e holds up his ha!ds i! fro!t of e, his ars
tou$hi!g i!e% 8! his right ha!d is a flogger% 8 reeber the !ae fro y first i!trodu$tio! to this
roo%
GTou$h it,H he "hispers, a!d he sou!ds li#e the de*il hiself% =y body flaes i! respo!se%
Te!tati*ely, 8 rea$h out a!d brush the lo!g stra!ds% 8t has a!y lo!g fro!ds, all soft suede "ith sall
beads at the e!d%
G8 "ill use this% 8t "ill !ot hurt, but it "ill bri!g your blood to the surfa$e of your s#i! a!d
a#e you *ery se!siti*e%H
/h, he says it "o!t hurt%
GWhat are the safe "ords, &!astasiaIH
G5L yello" a!d red, Sir,H 8 "hisper%
G>ood girl% Deeber, ost of your fear is i! your i!d%H
3e drops the flogger o! the bed, a!d his ha!ds o*e to y "aist%
GJou "o!t be !eedi!g these,H he ururs a!d hoo#s his fi!gers i!to y pa!ties a!d s"eeps
the do"! y legs% 8 step u!steadily out of the, supporti!g yself o! the or!ate post of the bed%
GSta!d still,H he orders, a!d he #isses y behi!d a!d the! ge!tly !ips e t"i$e, a#i!g e
te!se% G+o" lie do"!% Fa$e up,H he adds as he sa$#s e hard o! the behi!d, a#i!g e @up%
3astily, 8 $ra"l o!to the beds hard, u!yieldi!g attress a!d lie do"!, loo#i!g up at hi% The
sati! of the sheet be!eath e is soft a!d $ool agai!st y s#i!% 3is gaFe is ipassi*e, e1$ept for his
eyes "hi$h glo" "ith a barely leashed e1$itee!t%
G3a!ds abo*e your head,H he orders, a!d 8 do as 8 bid%
=ee: y body hu!gers for hi% 8 "a!t hi already%
3e tur!s, a!d out of the $or!er of y eye, 8 "at$h hi sau!ter ba$# o*er to the $hest of
dra"ers, retur!i!g "ith the i.od a!d "hat loo#s li#e a! eye as#, siilar to the o!e 8 used o! y
flight to &tla!ta% The thought a#es e "a!t to sile, but 8 $a!t Buite a#e y lips $ooperate% 8
a too $o!sued "ith a!ti$ipatio!% 8 @ust #!o" y fa$e is $opletely iobile, y eyes huge, as 8
gaFe at hi%
Sitti!g do"! o! the edge of the bed, he sho"s e the i.od% 8t has a stra!ge a!te!!a de*i$e as
"ell headpho!es% 3o" odd% 8 fro"! as 8 try to figure this out%
GThis tra!sits "hats playi!g o! the i.od to the syste i! the roo%H, Christia! a!s"ers y
u!spo#e! Buery as he taps the sall a!te!!a% G8 $a! hear "hat youre heari!g, a!d 8 ha*e a reote
$o!trol u!it for it%H 3e sir#s his pri*ate9@o#e sile a!d holds up a sall, flat de*i$e that loo#s li#e
a *ery hip $al$ulator% 3e lea!s a$ross e, i!serti!g the ear buds ge!tly i!to y ears, a!d puts the
i.od do"! soe"here o! the bed abo*e y head%
GLift your head,H he $oa!ds, a!d 8 do so iediately%
Slo"ly, he slides the as# o!, pulli!g the elasti$ o*er the ba$# of y head, a!d 8 bli!d% The
elasti$ o! the as# holds the ear buds i! pla$e% 8 $a! still hear hi, though the sou!d is uffled as
he rises fro the bed% 8 deafe!ed by y o"! breathi!g C its shallo" a!d errati$, refle$ti!g y
e1$itee!t% Christia! ta#es y left ar, stret$hes it ge!tly to the left9ha!d $or!er, a!d atta$hes the
leather $uff arou!d y "rist% 3is lo!g fi!gers stro#e the le!gth of y ar o!$e hes fi!ished . Oh&
3is tou$h eli$its a deli$ious, ti$#ly shi*er% 8 hear hi o*e slo"ly rou!d to the other side, ta#es y
right ar a!d $uffs it% &gai!, his lo!g fi!gers li!ger alo!g y ar% Oh my0 8 a fit to burst
already% Why is this so eroti$I
3e o*es to the botto of the bed a!d grabs both of y a!#les%
GLift your head agai!,H he orders%
8 $oply, a!d he drags e do"! the bed so that y ars are stret$hed out a!d alost
strai!i!g at the $uffs% 3oly $o", 8 $a!!ot o*e y ars% & frisso! of trepidatio! i1ed "ith
ta!taliFi!g e1hilaratio! s"eeps through y body, a#i!g e "etter% 8 groa!% .arti!g y legs, he
$uffs first y right a!#le a!d the! y left so 8 a sta#ed out, spread9eagled, a!d totally *ul!erable
to hi% 8ts so u!!er*i!g that 8 $a!t see hi% 8 liste! hardL "hats he doi!gI &!d 8 hear !othi!g,
@ust y breathi!g a!d the pou!di!g thud of y heart as blood pulses furiously agai!st y eardrus%
&bruptly, the soft sile!t hiss a!d pop of the i.od spri!gs i!to life% Fro i!side y head, a lo!e
a!geli$ *oi$e si!gs u!a$$opa!ied a lo!g s"eet !ote, a!d its @oi!ed alost iediately by
a!other *oi$e, a!d the! ore *oi$es C 3oly $o", a $elestial $hoir C si!gi!g a$apella i! y head, a!
a!$ie!t, a!$ie!t hy!al% #hat in hea6en*s name is this. 8 ha*e !e*er heard a!ythi!g li#e it%
Soethi!g alost u!bearably soft brushes agai!st y !e$#, ru!!i!g la!guidly do"! y throat,
slo"ly a$ross y $hest, o*er y breasts, $aressi!g eL pulli!g at y !ipples, its so soft,
s#ii!g u!der!eath% 8ts so une<pected. It*s fur&
A fur glo6e.
Christia! trails his ha!d, u!hurried a!d deliberate, do"! to y belly, $ir$li!g y !a*el, the!
$arefully fro hip to hip, a!d 8 tryi!g to a!ti$ipate "here hes goi!g !e1tL but the usi$L its
i! y headL tra!sporti!g eL the fur a$ross the li!e of y pubi$ hairL
bet"ee! y legs, alo!g y thighs, do"! o!e legL up the otherL it alost ti$#lesL but !ot
BuiteL ore *oi$es @oi!L the hea*e!ly $hoir all si!gi!g differe!t parts, their *oi$es ble!di!g
blissfully a!d s"eetly together i! a elodi$ haro!y that is beyo!d a!ythi!g 8*e e*er heard% 8
$at$h o!e "ord 99 -deus*;; a!d 8 realiFe they are si!gi!g i! Lati!% &!d still, the fur is o*i!g do"!
y ars a!d rou!d y "aistL ba$# up a$ross y breasts% =y !ipples harde! be!eath the soft
tou$hL a!d 8 pa!ti!gL "o!deri!g "here his ha!d "ill go !e1t% Sudde!ly, the fur is go!e, a!d 8
$a! feel the fro!ds of the flogger flo"i!g o*er y s#i!, follo"i!g the sae path as the fur, a!d its
so hard to $o!$e!trate "ith the usi$ i! y head C it sou!ds li#e a hu!dred *oi$es si!gi!g, "ea*i!g
a! ethereal tapestry of fi!e, sil#e! gold a!d sil*er through y head, i1ed "ith the feel of the soft
suede agai!st y s#i!L traili!g o*er eL oh my L abruptly, it disappears% The! sudde!ly,
sharply, it bites do"! o! y belly%
G&agghhKH 8 $ry out% 8t ta#es e by surprise, a!d it does!t e1a$tly hurt, but ti!gles all o*er,
a!d he hits e agai!% 3arder%
G&aahKH
8 "a!t to o*e, to "ritheL to es$ape, or to "el$oe, ea$h blo"L 8 do!t #!o" C its so
o*er"heli!gL 8 $a!t pull y arsL y legs are stu$#L 8 a held *ery firly i! pla$eL a!d
agai! he stri#es a$ross y breasts C 8 $ry out% &!d its a s"eet ago!y C bearable, @ustL pleasa!t C
!o, !ot iediately, but as y s#i! si!gs "ith ea$h blo" i! perfe$t $ou!terpoi!t to the usi$ i! y
head, 8 a dragged i!to a dar#, dar# part of y psy$he that surre!ders to this ost eroti$ se!satio!%
)es 2 I get this. 3e hits e a$ross y hip% The!,t o*es i! s"ift blo"s o*er y pubi$ hair, o! y
thighs, a!d do"! y i!!er thighsL a!d ba$# up y bodyL a$ross y hips% 3e #eeps goi!g as the
usi$ rea$hes a $lia1, a!d the! sudde!ly C the usi$ stops% &!d so does he% The! the si!gi!g
starts agai!L buildi!g a!d buildi!g, a!d he rai!s do"! blo"s o! eL a!d 8 groa! a!d "rithe%
/!$e agai!, it $eases a!d all is BuietL e1$ept y "ild breathi!gL a!d "ild year!i!g% ForL ohL
"hats happe!i!gI Whats he goi!g to do !o"I The e1$itee!t is alost u!bearable% 8*e
e!tered a *ery dar#, $ar!al pla$e%
The bed o*es a!d shifts as 8 feel hi $laber o*er e, a!d the so!g starts agai!% 3es got it
o! repeatL this tie its his !ose a!d lips that ta#e the pla$e of the furL ru!!i!g do"! y !e$#
a!d throat, #issi!g, su$#i!gL traili!g do"! to y breastsL &hK Tau!ti!g ea$h of y !ipples i!
tur!L his to!gue s"irli!g rou!d o!e "hile his fi!gers rele!tlessly tease the otherL 8 groa!, loudly
8 thi!#, though 8 $a!t hear% 8 a lost% Lost i! hiL lost i! the astral, seraphi$ *oi$esL lost to all
the se!satio!s 8 $a!!ot es$apeL 8 a $opletely at the er$y of his e1pert tou$h%
3e o*es do"! to y belly C his to!gue $ir$li!g y !a*el C follo"i!g the path of the flogger
a!d the furL 8 oa!% 3es #issi!g a!d su$#i!g a!d !ibbli!gL o*i!g southL
a!d the! his to!gue is there. &t, a the @u!$tio! of y thighs% 8 thro" y head ba$# a!d $ry
out as 8 alost deto!ate i!to orgasL 8 o! the bri!#, a!d he stops%
"o& The bed shifts, a!d he #!eels bet"ee! y legs% 3e lea!s to"ard the bedpost, a!d the
$uff o! y a!#le is sudde!ly go!e% 8 pull y leg to the iddle of the bedL resti!g it agai!st hi%
3e lea!s o*er to the opposite post a!d frees y other leg% 3is ha!ds tra*el Bui$#ly do"! both y
legs, sBueeFi!g a!d #!eadi!g, bri!gi!g life ba$# i!to the% The!, graspi!g y hips, he lifts e so
that y ba$# is !o lo!ger o! the bed% 8 a ar$hed, resti!g o! y shoulders% #hat. 3es #!eeli!g
up bet"ee! y legsL a!d i! o!e s"ift, slai!g o*e hes i!side eL oh fuc( L a!d 8 $ry out
agai!% The Bui*er of y ipe!di!g orgas begi!s, a!d he stills% The Bui*er diesL oh no0 hes
goi!g to torture e further%
G.leaseKH 8 "ail%
3e grips e harderL i! "ar!i!gI 8 do!t #!o", his fi!gers diggi!g i!to the flesh of y
behi!d as 8 lay pa!ti!gL so 8 purposefully still% Aery slo"ly, he starts to o*e agai!L
out a!d the! i!L ago!iFi!gly slo"ly . 7oly fuc( 2 /lease& 8 s$reai!g i!sideL &!d as
the !uber of *oi$es i! the $horal pie$e i!$reasesL so does his pa$e, i!fi!itesially, hes so
$o!trolledL so i! tie "ith the usi$% &!d 8 $a! !o lo!ger bear it%
G.lease,H 8 beg, a!d i! o!e s"ift o*e, he lo"ers e ba$# o!to the bed, a!d hes lyi!g o! top
of e, his ha!ds o! the bed beside y breasts as he supports his "eight, a!d he thrusts i!to e,%as
& the usi$ rea$hes its $lia1, 8 fallL free fallL i!to the ost i!te!se, ago!iFi!g orgas 8 ha*e
e*er had, a!d Christia! follo"s eL thrusti!g hard i!to e, three ore tiesL fi!ally stilli!g,
the! $ollapsi!g o! top of e%
&s y $o!s$ious!ess retur!s fro "here*er its bee!, Christia! pulls out of e% The usi$
has stopped, a!d 8 $a! feel hi stret$h a$ross y body as he u!does the $uff o! y right "rist% 8
groa! as y ha!d is freed% 3e Bui$#ly frees y other ha!d, ge!tly pulls the as# fro y eyes, a!d
reo*es the ear buds% 8 bli!# i! the di soft light a!d stare up i!to his i!te!se gray gaFe%
G3i,H he ururs%
G3i, yourself,H 8 breathe shyly ba$# at hi% 3is lips Buir# up i!to a sile, a!d he lea!s do"!
a!d #isses e softly%
GWell do!e, you,H he "hispers% GTur! o*er%H
7oly fuc( C "hats he goi!g to do !o"I 3is eyes softe!%
G8 @ust goi!g to rub your shoulders%H
G/hL o#ay%H
8 roll stiffly o!to y fro!t% 8 a so tired% Christia! sits astride e a!d starts to assage y
shoulders% 8 groa! loudly C he has su$h stro!g, #!o"i!g fi!gers% Lea!i!g do"!, he #isses y head%
GWhat "as that usi$IH 8 uble alost i!arti$ulately%
G8ts $alled Spe 8! &liu, or the Forty .art =otet, by Thoas Tallis%H
G8t "asL o*er"heli!g%H
G8*e al"ays "a!ted to fu$# to it%H
G+ot a!other first, =r% >reyIH
G8!deed, =iss Steele%H
8 groa! agai! as his fi!gers "or# their agi$ o! y shoulders%
GWell, its the first tie 8*e fu$#ed to it, too,H 8 urur sleepily%
G3L you a!d 8, "ere gi*i!g ea$h other a!y firsts%H 3is *oi$e is atter9of9fa$t%
GWhat did 8 say to you i! y sleep, Ch C err, SirIH
3is ha!ds pause their i!istratio!s for a oe!t%
GJou said lots of thi!gs, &!astasia% Jou tal#ed about $ages a!d stra"berriesL that you
"a!ted oreL a!d that you issed e%H
/h, tha!# hea*e!s for that%
G8s that allIH The relief i! y *oi$e is e*ide!t%
Christia! stops his hea*e!ly assage a!d shifts so that hes lyi!g beside e% 3is head
propped up o! his elbo"% 3es fro"!i!g%
GWhat did you thi!# youd saidIH
Oh crap.
GThat 8 thought you "ere ugly, $o!$eited, a!d that you "ere hopeless i! bed%H
3e $rease o! his bro" deepe!s%
GWell, !aturally 8 a all those thi!gs, a!d !o" you*e got e really i!trigued% What are you
hidi!g fro e, =iss SteeleIH
8 bli!# at hi i!!o$e!tly%
G8 !ot hidi!g a!ythi!g%H
G&!astasia, you are a hopeless liar%H
G8 thought you "ere goi!g to a#e e giggle after se1, this is!t doi!g it for e%H
3is lips Buir# up%
G8 $a!t tell @o#es%H
G=r% >reyK Soethi!g you $a!t doIH 8 gri! at hi, a!d he gri!s ba$#%
G+o, hopeless @o#e teller%H 3e loo#s so proud of hiself that 8 start to giggle%
G8 a hopeless @o#e teller too,H
GThat is su$h a lo*ely sou!d,H he ururs, a!d he lea!s for"ard a!d #isses e%
G&!d you are hidi!g soethi!g, &!astasia% 8 ay ha*e to torture it out of you%H
8 "a#e "ith a @olt% 8 thi!# 8*e @ust falle! do"! soe stairs i! a drea, a!d 8 bolt upright,
oe!tarily disorie!tated% 8t is dar#, a!d 8 i! Christia!s bed alo!e% Soethi!g has "o#e! e,
soe !aggi!g thought% 8 gla!$e o*er at the alar $lo$# o! his bedside% 8t is 4:00 i! the or!i!g, but
8 feel rested% Why is thatI /h C its the tie differe!$e C it "ould be ):00 a%% i! >eorgia% 7oly
crap0 I need to ta(e my pill. 8 $laber out of bed, grateful for "hate*er it is that has "o#e! e% 8
$a! hear fai!t !otes fro the pia!o% Christia! is playi!g% This 8 ust see% 8 lo*e "at$hi!g hi play%
+a#ed, 8 grab y bathrobe fro the $hair a!d "a!der Buietly do"! the $orridor, slippi!g o! y
robea!d liste!i!g to the agi$al sou!d of the elodi$ lae!t thats $oi!g fro the great roo%
Shrouded i! dar#!ess, Christia! sits i! a bubble of light as he plays, a!d his hair gli!ts "ith
bur!ished $opper highlights% 3e loo#s !a#ed, though 8 #!o" hes "eari!g his .J
bottos% 3es $o!$e!trati!g, playi!g beautifully, lost i! the ela!$holy of the usi$% 8
hesitate, "at$hi!g fro the shado"s, !ot "a!ti!g to i!terrupt hi% 8 "a!t to hold hi%
3e loo#s lost, sad e*e!, a!d a$hi!gly lo!ely C or aybe its @ust the usi$ thats so full of
poig!a!t sorro"% 3e fi!ishes the pie$e, pauses for a split se$o!d, the! starts to play it agai!%
8 o*e $autiously to"ard hi, dra"! as the oth to the flaeL the idea a#es e sile%
3e gla!$es up at e a!d fro"!s before his gaFe retur!s to his ha!ds /h $rap, is he pissed off
that 8 a disturbi!g hiI
GJou should be asleep,H he s$olds ildly%
8 $a! tell hes pre9o$$upied "ith soethi!g%
GSo should you,H 8 retort !ot Buite as ildly%
3e gla!$es up agai!, his lips t"it$hi!g "ith a tra$e of a sile%
G&re you s$oldi!g e, =iss SteeleIH
GJes, =r% >rey, 8 a%H
GWell, 8 $a!t sleep%H 3e fro"!s o!$e ore as a tra$e of irritatio! or a!ger flashes a$ross his
fa$e% With eI Surely !ot%
8 ig!ore his fa$ial e1pressio! a!d *ery bra*ely sit do"! beside hi o! the pia!o stool, pla$i!g
y head o! his bare shoulder to "at$h his deft, agile fi!gers $aress the #eys% 3e pauses fra$tio!ally,
a!d the! $o!ti!ues to the e!d of the pie$e%
GWhat "as thatIH 8 as# softly%
GChopi!% /pus 2), !uber S% 8! E i!or, if youre i!terested,H he ururs%
G8 al"ays i!terested i! "hat you do%H
3e tur!s a!d softly presses his lips agai!st y hair%
G8 did!t ea! to "a#e you%H
GJou did!t% .lay the other o!e%H
G/ther o!eIH
GThe 0a$h pie$e that you played the first !ight 8 stayed%H
G/h, the =ar$ello%H
3e starts to play slo"ly a!d deliberately% 8 feel the o*ee!t of his ha!ds i! his shoulder as 8
lea! agai!st hi a!d $lose y eyes% The sad, soulful !otes s"irl slo"ly a!d our!fully arou!d us,
e$hoi!g off the "alls% 8t is a hau!ti!gly beautiful pie$e, sadder e*e! tha! the Chopi!, a!d 8 lose
yself to the beauty of the lae!t% To a $ertai! e1te!t, it refle$ts ho" 8 feel% The deep poig!a!t
lo!gi!g 8 ha*e to #!o" this e1traordi!ary a! better, to try a!d u!dersta!d his sad!ess% &ll too
soo!, the pie$e is at a! e!d%
GWhy do you o!ly play su$h sad usi$IH
8 sit upright a!d gaFe up at hi as he shrugs i! a!s"er to y Buestio!, his e1pressio!
"ary%GSo you "ere @ust si1 "he! you started to playIH 8 propt%
3e !ods, his "ary loo# i!te!sifyi!g% &fter a oe!t he *olu!teers%
G8 thre" yself i!to lear!i!g the pia!o to please y !e" other%H
GTo fit i!to the perfe$t failyIH
GJes, so to spea#,H he says e*asi*ely% GWhy are you a"a#eI <o!t you !eed to re$o*er fro
yesterdays e1ertio!sIH
G8ts ):00 i! the or!i!g for e% &!d 8 !eed to ta#e y pill%H
3e raises his eyebro"s i! surprise%
GWell reebered,H he ururs, a!d 8 $a! tell hes ipressed% 3is lips Buir# up i! a half
sile%
G/!ly you "ould start a $ourse of tie9spe$ifi$ birth $o!trol pills i! a differe!t tie Fo!e%
.erhaps you should "ait half a! hour a!d the! a!other half hour toorro" or!i!g%
So s e*e!tually you $a! ta#e the at a reaso!able tie%H
G>ood pla!,H 8 breathe% GSo "hat shall "e do for half a! hourIH 8 bli!# i!!o$e!tly at hi%
G8 $a! thi!# of a fe" thi!gs,H he gri!s, gray eyes bright% 8 gaFe ba$# ipassi*ely as y i!sides
$le!$h a!d elt u!der his #!o"i!g loo#%
G/! the other ha!d, "e $ould tal#,H 8 suggest Buietly%
3is bro" $reases%
G8 prefer "hat 8 ha*e i! i!d%H 3e s$oops e o!to his lap%
GJoud al"ays rather ha*e se1 tha! tal#,H 8 laugh, steadyi!g yself by holdi!g o! to his upper
ars%
GTrue% Espe$ially "ith you%H 3e !uFFles y hair a!d starts a steady trail of #isses fro belo"
y ear to y throat% G=aybe o! y pia!o,H he "hispers%
Oh my. =y "hole body tighte!s at the thought% /iano. #ow.
G8 "a!t to get soethi!g straight,H 8 "hisper as y pulse starts to a$$elerate, a!d y i!!er
goddess $loses her eyes, re*eli!g i! the feel of his lips o! e%
3e pauses oe!tarily before $o!ti!ui!g his se!sual assault%
G&l"ays so eager for i!foratio!, =iss Steele% What !eeds straighte!i!g outIH he breathes
agai!st y s#i! at the base of y !e$#, $o!ti!ui!g his soft ge!tle #isses%
G5s,H 8 "hisper as 8 $lose y eyes%
G3% What about usIH 3e pauses his trail of #isses alo!g y shoulder%
GThe $o!tra$t%H
3e lifts his head to gaFe do"! at e, a hi!t of ausee!t i! his eyes, a!d sighs% 3e stro#es
his fi!gertips do"! y $hee#%
GWell, 8 thi!# the $o!tra$t is oot, do!t youIH 3is *oi$e is lo" a!d hus#y, his eyes
soft%G=ootIH
G=oot%H 3e siles% 8 gape at hi BuiFFi$ally%
G0ut you "ere so #ee!%H
GWell, that "as before% &!y"ay, the Dules are!t oot, they still sta!d%H 3is e1pressio!
harde!s slightly%
G0eforeI 0efore "hatIH
G0efore,HL 3e pauses, a!d the "ary e1pressio! is ba$#, Gore%H 3e shrugs%
G/h%H
G0esides, "e*e bee! i! the playroo t"i$e !o", a!d you ha*e!t ru! s$reai!g for the
hills%H
G<o you e1pe$t e toIH
G+othi!g you do is e1pe$ted, &!astasia,H he says dryly%
GSo, let e be $lear% Jou @ust "a!t e to follo" the Dules elee!t of the $o!tra$t all the tie
but !ot the rest of the $o!tra$tIH
GE1$ept i! the playroo% 8 "a!t you to follo" the spirit of the $o!tra$t i! the playroo, a!d
yes, 8 "a!t you to follo" the rules C all the tie% The! 8 #!o" youll be safe, a!d 8ll be able to ha*e
you a!ytie 8 "ish%H
G&!d if 8 brea# o!e of the rulesIH
GThe! 8ll pu!ish you%H
G0ut "o!t you !eed y perissio!IH
GJes, 8 "ill%H
G&!d if 8 say !oIH
3e gaFes at e for a oe!t, "ith a $o!fused e1pressio!%
G8f you say !o, youll say !o% 8ll ha*e to fi!d a "ay to persuade you%H
8 pull a"ay fro hi a!d sta!d% 8 !eed soe dista!$e% 3e fro"!s as 8 stare do"! at hi% 3e
loo#s puFFled a!d "ary agai!%
GSo the pu!ishe!t aspe$t reai!s%H
GJes, but o!ly if you brea# the rules%H
G8ll !eed to re9read the,H 8 say, tryi!g to re$all the detail%
G8ll fet$h the for you%H 3is to!e is sudde!ly busi!essli#e%
#hoa. This has gotte! serious so Bui$#ly% 3e rises fro the pia!o a!d "al#s lithely to his
study% =y s$alp pri$#les% JeeF, 8 !eed soe tea% The future of our so9$alled relatio!ship is bei!g
dis$ussed at 4:S4 i! the or!i!g "he! hes pre9o$$upied "ith soethi!g else
C is this "iseI 8 head i!to the #it$he! "hi$h is still shrouded i! dar#!ess% Where are the light
s"it$hesI 8 fi!d the, fli$# the o!, a!d pour "ater i!to the #ettle% My pill& 8 ru9age i! y
purse that 8 left o! the brea#fast bar a!d fi!d the Bui$#ly% /!e s"allo", a!d 8 do!e% 0y the tie
8 fi!ish, Christia! is ba$#, sitti!g o! o!e of the bar stools, "at$hi!g e i!te!tly%
G3ere you go%H 3e pushes a typed pie$e of paper to"ard e, a!d 8 !oti$e that hes $rossed
soe thi!gs out%
RULES
Obedience:
The Subissi*e "ill obey a!y i!stru$tio!s gi*e! by The <oi!a!t iediately "ithout
hesitatio! or reser*atio! a!d i! a! e1peditious a!!er% The Subissi*e "ill agree to a!y se1ual
a$ti*ity deeed fit a!d pleasurable by the <oi!a!t e1$epti!g those a$ti*ities "hi$h are outli!ed i!
hard liits ,&ppe!di1 &-% She "ill do so eagerly a!d "ithout hesitatio!%
Sleep:
The Subissi*e "ill e!sure she a$hie*es a i!iu of eight se*e! hours sleep a !ight "he!
she is !ot "ith The <oi!a!t%
Food:
The Subissi*e "ill eat regularly to ai!tai! her health a!d "ellbei!g fro a pres$ribed list
of foods ,&ppe!di1 S-% The Subissi*e "ill !ot s!a$# bet"ee! eals, "ith the e1$eptio! of fruit%
Clothes:
While "ith The <oi!a!t, The Subissi*e "ill "ear $lothi!g o!ly appro*ed by The
<oi!a!t% The <oi!a!t "ill pro*ide a $lothi!g budget for The Subissi*e, "hi$h The
Subissi*e shall utiliFe% The <oi!a!t shall a$$opa!y The Subissi*e to pur$hase $lothi!g o!
a! ad ho$ basis%
E1er$ise:
The <oi!a!t shall pro*ide The Subissi*e "ith a perso!al trai!er four three ties a "ee# i!
hour9lo!g sessio!s at ties to be utually agreed bet"ee! the perso!al trai!er a!d The Subissi*e%
The perso!al trai!er "ill report to The <oi!a!t o! The Subissi*es progress%
.erso!al 3ygie!e?0eauty:
The Subissi*e "ill #eep herself $lea! a!d sha*ed a!d?or "a1ed at all ties% The Subissi*e
"ill *isit a beauty salo! of The <oi!a!ts $hoosi!g at ties to be de$ided by The <oi!a!t, a!d
u!dergo "hate*er treate!ts The <oi!a!t sees fit%
.erso!al Safety:
The Subissi*e "ill !ot dri!# to e1$ess, so#e, ta#e re$reatio!al drugs or put herself i! a!y
u!!e$essary da!ger%
.erso!al Qualities:
The Subissi*e "ill !ot e!ter i!to a!y se1ual relatio!s "ith a!yo!e other tha! The <oi!a!t%
The Subissi*e "ill $o!du$t herself i! a respe$tful a!d odest a!!er at all ties% She ust
re$og!iFe that her beha*ior is a dire$t refle$tio! o! The <oi!a!t% She shall be held a$$ou!table for
a!y isdeeds, "ro!gdoi!gs a!d isbeha*ior $oitted "he! !ot i! the prese!$e of the <oi!a!t%
Failure to $oply "ith a!y of the abo*e "ill result i! iediate pu!ishe!t, the !ature of
"hi$h shall be deteri!ed by The <oi!a!t%
GSo the obedie!$e thi!g still sta!dsIH
G/h, yes%H 3e gri!s%
8 sha#e y head aused, a!d before 8 realiFe it, 8 roll y eyes at hi%
G<id you @ust roll your eyes at e, &!astasiaIH 3e breathes%
Oh fuc(.
G.ossibly, depe!ds "hat your rea$tio! is%H
GSae as al"ays,H he says, sha#i!g his head slightly, his eyes alight "ith e1$itee!t%
8 s"allo" i!sti!$ti*ely a!d a frisso! of e1hilaratio! ru!s through e%
GSo%%% H 7oly shit. #hat am I going to do.
GJesIH 3e li$#s his lo"er lip%
GJou "a!t to spa!# e !o"%H
GJes% &!d 8 "ill%H
G/h, really, =r% >reyIH 8 $halle!ge, gri!!i!g ba$# at hi% T"o $a! play this gae%
G&re you goi!g to stop eIH
GJoure goi!g to ha*e to $at$h e first%H
3is eyes "ide! a fra$tio!, a!d he gri!s, slo"ly getti!g to his feet%
G/h, really, =iss SteeleIH
The brea#fast bar is bet"ee! us% 8 ha*e !e*er bee! so grateful for its e1iste!$e tha! i! this
oe!t%
G&!d youre biti!g your lip,H he breathes, o*i!g slo"ly to his left as 8 o*e to i!e%
GJou "ould!t,H 8 tease% G&fter all, you roll your eyes%H 8 try reaso!i!g "ith hi% 3e
$o!ti!ues to o*e to"ard his left, as do 8%
GJes, but you*e @ust raised the bar o! the e1$itee!t sta#es "ith this gae%H 3is eyes blaFe,
a!d "ild a!ti$ipatio! ea!ates fro hi%
G8 Buite fast you #!o"%H 8 try for !o!$hala!$e%
GSo a 8%H
3es stal#i!g e, i! his o"! #it$he!%
G&re you goi!g to $oe BuietlyIH he as#s%
G<o 8 e*erIH
G=iss Steele, "hat do you ea!IH he sir#s% G8tll be "orse for you if 8 ha*e to $oe a!d get
you%H
GThats o!ly if you $at$h e, Christia!% &!d right !o", 8 ha*e !o i!te!tio! of letti!g you
$at$h e%H
G&!astasia, you ay fall a!d hurt yourself% Whi$h "ill put you i! dire$t $o!tra*e!tio! of rule
!uber se*e!%H
G8 ha*e bee! i! da!ger si!$e 8 et you, =r% >rey, rules or !o rules%H
GJes you ha*e%H 3e pauses, a!d his bro" furro"s slightly%
Sudde!ly, he lu!ges for e, a#i!g e sBueal a!d ru! for the di!i!g roo table% 8 a!age to
es$ape, putti!g the table bet"ee! us% =y heart is pou!di!g a!d adre!ali!e has spi#ed through y
bodyL boy%%% this is so thrilli!g% 8 a $hild agai!, though thats !ot right% 8 "at$h hi $arefully as
he pa$es deliberately to"ard e% 8 i!$h a"ay%
GJou $ertai!ly #!o" ho" to distra$t a a!, &!astasia%H
GWe ai to please, =r% >rey% <istra$t you fro "hatIH
GLife% The u!i*erse%H 3e "a*es o!e of his ha!ds *aguely%
GJou did see *ery pre9o$$upied as you "ere playi!g%H
3e stops a!d folds his ars, his e1pressio! aused%
GWe $a! do this all day, baby, but 8 "ill get you, a!d it "ill @ust be "orse for you "he! 8
do%HG+o, you "o!t%H 8 ust !ot be o*er9$o!fide!t% 8 repeat this as a a!tra% =y sub$o!s$ious has
fou!d her +i#es, a!d shes o! the starti!g blo$#s%
G&!yo!e "ould thi!# you did!t "a!t e to $at$h you%H
G8 do!t% Thats the poi!t% 8 feel about pu!ishe!t the "ay you feel about e tou$hi!g
you%H3is e!tire deea!or $ha!ges i! a !a!ose$o!d% >o!e is playful Christia!, a!d he sta!ds stari!g
at e as if 8d slapped hi% 3es ashe!%
GThats ho" you feelIH he "hispers%
Those four "ords, a!d the "ay he utters the, spea#s *olues% Oh no. They tell e so u$h
ore about hi a!d ho" he feels% They tell e about his fear a!d loathi!g% 8 fro"!%
+o, 8 do!t feel that bad% +o "ay% <o 8I
G+o% 8t does!t affe$t e Buite as u$h as that, but it gi*es you a! idea,H 8 urur, stari!g
a!1iously at hi%
G/h,H he says%
Crap. 3e loo#s $opletely a!d utterly lost, li#e 8*e pulled the rug fro u!der his feet%
Ta#i!g a deep breath, 8 o*e rou!d the table u!til 8 a sta!di!g i! fro!t of hi, gaFi!g i!to
his apprehe!si*e eyes%
GJou hate it that u$hIH he breathes, his eyes filled "ith horror%
GWellL !o,H 8 reassure hi% =ee: 2 that*s how he feels a,out people touching him.
G+o% 8 feel abi*ale!t about it% 8 do!t li#e it, but 8 do!t hate it%H
G0ut last !ight, i! the playroo, youL H he trails off%
G8 do it for you, Christia!, be$ause you !eed it% 8 do!t% Jou did!t hurt e last !ight%
That "as i! a differe!t $o!te1t, a!d 8 $a! ratio!aliFe that i!ter!ally, a!d 8 trust you% 0ut "he!
you "a!t to pu!ish e, 8 "orry that youll hurt e%H
3is gray eyes blaFe li#e a turbule!t stor% Tie o*es, a!d e1pa!ds a!d slips a"ay before he
a!s"ers softly%
G8 "a!t to hurt you% 0ut !ot beyo!d a!ythi!g that you $ould!t ta#e%H
'uc(&
GWhyIH
3e ru!s his ha!d through his hair, a!d he shrugs%
G8 @ust !eed it%H 3e pauses, gaFi!g at e "ith a!guish, a!d he $loses his eyes a!d sha#es his
head% G8 $a!t tell you,H he "hispers%
GCa!t or "o!tIH
GWo!t%H
GSo you #!o" "hy%H
GJes%H
G0ut you "o!t tell e%H
G8f 8 do, you "ill ru! s$reai!g fro this roo, a!d youll !e*er "a!t to retur!%H 3e stares at
e "arily% G8 $a!t ris# that, &!astasia%H
GJou "a!t e to stay%H
G=ore tha! you #!o"% 8 $ould!t bear to lose you%H
Oh my.
3e gaFes do"! at e, a!d sudde!ly, he pulls e i!to his ars a!d hes #issi!g e, #issi!g e
passio!ately% 8t ta#es e $opletely by surprise, a!d 8 se!se his pa!i$ a!d desperate !eed i! his
#iss%
G<o!t lea*e e% Jou said you "ould!t lea*e e, a!d you begged e !ot to lea*e you, i!
your sleep,H he ururs agai!st y lips%
Oh0 my nocturnal confessions.
G8 do!t "a!t to go%H &!d y heart $le!$hes, tur!i!g itself i!side out%
This is a a! i! !eed% 3is fear is !a#ed a!d ob*ious, but hes lostL soe"here i! his
dar#!ess% 3is eyes "ide a!d blea# a!d tortured% 8 $a! soothe hi% Joi! hi briefly i! the dar#!ess
a!d bri!g hi i!to the light%
GSho" e,H 8 "hisper%
GSho" youIH
GSho" e ho" u$h it $a! hurt%H
GWhatIH
G.u!ish e% 8 "a!t to #!o" ho" bad it $a! get%H
Christia! steps ba$# a"ay fro e, $opletely $o!fused%
GJou "ould tryIH
GJes% 8 said 8 "ould%H 0ut 8 ha*e a! ulterior oti*e% 8f 8 do this for hi, aybe he "ill let e
tou$h hi%
3e bli!#s at e%
G&!a, youre so $o!fusi!g%H
G8 $o!fused too% 8 tryi!g to "or# this out% &!d you a!d 8 "ill #!o", o!$e a!d for all, if 8
$a! do this% 8f 8 $a! ha!dle this, the! aybe you CH =y "ords fail e, a!d his eyes "ide! agai!% 3e
#!o"s 8 a referri!g to the tou$h thi!g% For a oe!t, he loo#s tor!, but the! a steely resol*e
settles o! his features, a!d he !arro"s his eyes, gaFi!g at e spe$ulati*ely as if "eighi!g up
alter!ati*es%
&bruptly, he $lasps y ar i! a fir grip a!d tur!s, leadi!g e out of the great roo, up the
stairs, a!d to the playroo% .leasure a!d pai!, re"ard a!d pu!ishe!t C his "ords fro so lo!g ago
e$ho through y i!d%
G8ll sho" you ho" bad it $a! be, a!d you $a! a#e your o"! i!d up%H 3e pauses by the
door% G&re you ready for thisIH
8 !od, y i!d ade up, a!d 8 *aguely lightheaded, fai!t as all the blood lea*es y
fa$e%3e ope!s the door, a!d still graspi!g y ar, grabs "hat loo#s li#e a belt fro the ra$# beside
the door, the! leads e o*er to the red leather be!$h i! the far $or!er of the roo%
G0e!d o*er the be!$h,H he ururs softly%
/#ay% 8 $a! do this% 8 be!d o*er the sooth soft leather% 3es left y bathrobe o!%
8! a Buiet part of y brai!, 8 *aguely surprised that he has!t ade e ta#e it off% 7oly
fuc( this is going to hurt0 I (now. =y sub$o!s$ious has passed out, a!d y i!!er goddess is
e!dea*ori!g to loo# bra*e%
GWere here be$ause you said yes, &!astasia% &!d you ra! fro e% 8 a goi!g to hit you si1
ties, a!d you "ill $ou!t "ith e%H
Why the hell does!t he @ust get o! "ith itI 3e al"ays a#es su$h a eal of pu!ishi!g e% 8
roll y eyes, #!o"i!g full "ell he $a!t see e%
3e lifts the he of y bathrobe, a!d for soe reaso!, this feels ore i!tiate tha! bei!g
!a#ed% 3e ge!tly $aresses y behi!d, ru!!i!g his "ar ha!d all o*er both $hee#s a!d do"! to the
tops of y thighs%
G8 a doi!g this so that you reeber !ot to ru! fro e, a!d as e1$iti!g as it is, 8 !e*er
"a!t you to ru! fro e,H he "hispers%
&!d the iro!y is !ot lost o! e% 8 "as ru!!i!g to a*oid this% 8f hed ope!ed his ars, 8d ru!
to hi, !ot a"ay fro hi%
G&!d you rolled your eyes at e% Jou #!o" ho" 8 feel about that%H Sudde!ly, its go!e
C that !er*ous edgy fear i! his *oi$e% 3es ba$# fro "here*er hes bee!% 8 hear it i! his to!e,
i! the "ay he pla$es his fi!gers o! y ba$#, holdi!g e C a!d the atosphere i! the roo $ha!ges%
8 $lose y eyes, bra$i!g yself for the blo"% 8t $oes hard, s!appi!g a$ross y ba$#side, a!d
the bite of the belt is e*erythi!g 8 feared% 8 $ry out i!*olu!tarily, a!d ta#e a huge gulp of air%
GCou!t, &!astasiaKH he $oa!ds%
G/!eKH 8 shout at hi, a!d it sou!ds li#e a! e1pleti*e%
3e hits e agai!, a!d the pai! pulses a!d e$hoes alo!g the li!e of the belt% 7oly shit0
that smarts.
GT"oKH 8 s$rea% 8t feels so good to s$rea%
3is breathi!g is ragged a!d harsh% Whereas i!e is alost !o!9e1iste!t as 8 desperately
s$rabble arou!d y psy$he loo#i!g for soe i!ter!al stre!gth% The belt $uts i!to y flesh agai!%
GThreeKH Tears spri!g u!"el$oe i!to y eyes% JeeF C this is harder tha! 8 thought C
so u$h harder tha! the spa!#i!g% 3es !ot holdi!g a!ythi!g ba$#%
GFourKH 8 yell as the belt bites e agai!, a!d !o" the tears are streai!g do"! y fa$e%
8 do!t "a!t to $ry% 8t a!gers e that 8 a $ryi!g% 3e hits e agai!%
GFi*e%H =y *oi$e is ore a $ho#ed, stra!gled sob, a!d i! this oe!t, 8 thi!# 8 hate hi% /!e
ore, 8 $a! do o!e ore% =y ba$#side feels as if its o! fire%
GSi1,H 8 "hisper as the blisteri!g pai! $uts a$ross e agai!, a!d 8 hear hi drop the belt
behi!d e, a!d hes pulli!g e i!to his ars, all breathless a!d $opassio!ateL a!d 8 "a!t !o!e
of hi%
GLet goL !o%%% H &!d 8 fi!d yself struggli!g out his grasp, pushi!g hi a"ay% Fighti!g hi%
G<o!t tou$h eKH 8 hiss% 8 straighte! a!d stare at hi, a!d hes "at$hi!g e as if 8 ight
bolt, gray eyes "ide, beused% 8 dash the tears a!grily out of y eyes "ith the ba$#s of y ha!ds,
glari!g at hi%
GThis is "hat you really li#eI =e, li#e thisIH 8 use the slee*e of the bathrobe to "ipe y !ose%
3e gaFes at e "arily%
GWell, you are o!e fu$#ed9up so! of a bit$h%H
G&!a,H he pleads, sho$#ed%
G<o!t you dare, &!a eK Jou !eed to sort your shit out, >reyKH &!d "ith that, 8 tur! stiffly,
a!d 8 "al# out of the playroo, $losi!g the door Buietly behi!d e%
8 $lasp the door ha!dle behi!d e a!d briefly lea! ba$# agai!st the door% Where to goI
<o 8 ru!I <o 8 stayI 8 a so ad, a!gry s$aldi!g tears spill do"! y $hee#s, a!d 8 brush
the furiously aside% 8 @ust "a!t to $url up% Curl up a!d re$uperate i! soe "ay% 3eal y shattered
faith% 3o" $ould 8 ha*e bee! so stupidI /f $ourse it hurts%
Te!tati*ely, 8 rub y ba$#side% &ahK 8ts sore% Where to goI +ot his roo% =y roo, or the
roo that "ill be i!e, !o, is i!eL was i!e% This is "hy he "a!ted e to #eep it% 3e #!e" 8
"ould !eed dista!$e fro hi%
8 lau!$h yself stiffly i! that dire$tio!, $o!s$ious that Christia! ay follo" e% 8t is still dar#
i! the bedroo, da"! o!ly a "hisper i! the s#yli!e% 8 $lib a"#"ardly i!to bed, $areful !ot to sit
o! y a$hi!g a!d te!der ba$#side% 8 #eep the bathrobe o!, "rappi!g it arou!d e, a!d $url up a!d
really let go C sobbi!g hard i!to y pillo"%
#hat was I thin(ing. Why did 8 let hi do that to eI 8 "a!ted the dar#, to e1plore ho" bad
it $ould be C but its too dar# for e% 8 $a!!ot do this% Jet, this is "hat he does, this is ho" he gets
his #i$#s%
What a o!ue!tal "a#e9up $all% &!d to be fair to hi, he "ar!ed e a!d "ar!ed e, tie
a!d agai!% 3es !ot !oral% 3e has !eeds that 8 $a!!ot fulfill% 8 realiFe that !o"%
8 do!t "a!t hi to hit e li#e that agai!, e*er% 8 thi!# of the $ouple of ties he has hit e,
a!d ho" easy he "as o! e by $opariso!% 8s that e!ough for hiI 8 sob harder i!to the pillo"% 8
a goi!g to lose hi% 3e "o!t "a!t to be "ith e if 8 $a!t gi*e hi this%
Why, "hy, "hy ha*e 8 falle! i! lo*e "ith Fifty ShadesI WhyI Why $a!t 8 lo*e JosNO222P, or
.aul Clayto!, or soeo!e li#e eI
/h, his distraught loo# as 8 left% 8 "as so $ruel, so sho$#ed by the sa*ageryL "ill he forgi*e
eL "ill 8 forgi*e hiI =y thoughts are all hay"ire a!d @ubled, e$hoi!g a!d bou!$i!g off the
i!side of y s#ull% =y sub$o!s$ious is sha#i!g her head sadly, a!d y i!!er goddess is !o"here to
be see!% /h, this is a dar# or!i!g of the soul for e% 8 so alo!e% 8 "a!t y =o% 8 reeber
her parti!g "ords at the airport, 'ollow your heart darling and please please 2 try not to o6er;
thin( things. Rela< and en+oy. )ou are so young sweetheart you ha6e so much to e<perience +ust
let it happen.
)ou deser6e the ,est of e6erything.
8 did follo" y heart, a!d 8 ha*e a sore ass a!d a! a!guished, bro#e! spirit to sho" for it% 8
ha*e to go% Thats itL 8 ha*e to lea*e% 3es !o good for e, a!d 8 a !o good for hi% 3o" $a! "e
possibly a#e this "or#I &!d the thought of !ot seei!g hi agai! pra$ti$ally $ho#es eL y
Fifty Shades%
8 hear the door $li$# ope!% Oh no 2 he*s here. 3e puts soethi!g do"! o! the bedside table,
a!d the bed shifts u!der his "eight as he $libs i! behi!d e%
G3ush,H he breathes, a!d 8 "a!t to pull a"ay fro hi, o*e to the other side of the bed, but
8 paralyFed% 8 $a!!ot o*e a!d lie stiffly, !ot yieldi!g at all% G<o!t fight e, &!a, please,H he
"hispers% >e!tly, he pulls e i!to his ars, buryi!g his !ose i! y hair, #issi!g y !e$#%
G<o!t hate e,H he breathes softly agai!st y s#i!, his *oi$e a$hi!gly sad% =y heart
$le!$hes a!e" a!d releases a fresh "a*e of sile!t sobbi!g% 3e $o!ti!ues to #iss e softly, te!derly,
but 8 reai! aloof a!d "ary%
We lie together li#e this, !either sayi!g a!ythi!g for ages% 3e @ust holds e, a!d *ery
gradually, 8 rela1 a!d stop $ryi!g% <a"! $oes a!d goes, a!d the soft light gets brighter as or!i!g
o*es o!, a!d still "e lie Buietly%
G8 bought you soe &d*il a!d soe ar!i$a $rea,H he says after a lo!g "hile%
8 tur! *ery slo"ly i! his ars so 8 $a! fa$e hi% 8 a resti!g y head o! his ar% 3is eyes are
fli!ty gray a!d guarded%
8 gaFe at his beautiful fa$e% 3es gi*i!g !othi!g a"ay, but he #eeps his eyes o! i!e, hardly
bli!#i!g% /h, he is so breathta#i!gly good9loo#i!g% 8! su$h a short tie, hes be$oe so, so dear to
e% Dea$hi!g up, 8 $aress his $hee# a!d ru! the tips of y fi!gers through his stubble% 3e $loses his
eyes a!d e1hales slightly%
G8 sorry,H 8 "hisper%
3e ope!s his eyes a!d loo#s at e puFFled%
GWhat forIH
GWhat 8 said%H
GJou did!t tell e a!ythi!g 8 did!t #!o"%H &!d his eyes softe! "ith relief% G8 a sorry 8 hurt
you%H
8 shrug%
G8 as#ed for it%H &!d !o" 8 #!o"% 8 s"allo"% 3ere goes% 8 !eed to say y pie$e% G8 do!t thi!#
8 $a! be e*erythi!g you "a!t e to be,H 8 "hisper% 3is eyes "ide! slightly, a!d he bli!#s, his
fearful e1pressio! retur!i!g%
GJou are e*erythi!g 8 "a!t you to be%H
#hat.
G8 do!t u!dersta!d% 8 !ot obedie!t, a!d you $a! be as sure as hell 8 !ot goi!g to let you
do that to e agai!% &!d thats "hat you !eed, you said so%H
3e $loses his eyes agai!, a!d 8 $a! see a yriad of eotio!s $ross his fa$e% Whe! he reope!s
the, his e1pressio! is blea#% Oh no.
GJoure right% 8 should let you go% 8 a !o good for you%H
=y s$alp pri$#les as e*ery si!gle hair folli$le o! y body sta!ds to atte!tio!, a!d the "orld
falls a"ay fro e, lea*i!g a "ide, ya"!i!g abyss for e to fall i!to% Oh no.
G8 do!t "a!t to go,H 8 "hisper% Fu$# C this is it% .ay or play% Tears s"i i! y eyes o!$e
ore%
G8 do!t "a!t you to go either,H he "hispers, his *oi$e ra"% 3e rea$hes up a!d ge!tly stro#es
y $hee# a!d "ipes a"ay a falli!g tear "ith his thub% G8*e $oe ali*e si!$e 8 et you%H 3is
thub tra$es the $o!tours of y lo"er lip%
G=e too,H 8 "hisper, G8*e falle! i! lo*e "ith you, Christia!%H
3is eyes "ide! agai!, but this tie, "ith pure, u!diluted fear%
G+o,H he breathes as if 8*e #!o$#ed the "i!d out of hi%
Oh no.
GJou $a!t lo*e e, &!a% +oL thats "ro!g%H 3es horrified%
GWro!gI Whys it "ro!gIH
GWell, loo# at you% 8 $a!t a#e you happy%H 3is *oi$e is a!guished%
G0ut you do a#e e happy%H 8 fro"!%
G+ot at the oe!t, !ot doi!g "hat 8 "a!t to do%H
7oly fuc(. This really is it% This is "hat it boils do"! to C i!$opatibility 9 a!d all those
poor subs $oe to i!d%
GWell !e*er get past that, "ill "eIH 8 "hisper, y s$alp pri$#li!g i! fear%
3e sha#es his head blea#ly% 8 $lose y eyes% 8 $a!!ot bear to loo# at hi%
GWellL 8d better go, the!,H 8 urur, "i!$i!g as 8 sit up%
G+o, do!t go%H 3e sou!ds pa!i$#ed%
GTheres !o poi!t i! e stayi!g%H Sudde!ly, 8 feel tired, really dog9tired, a!d 8 "a!t to go
!o"% 8 $lib out of bed, a!d Christia! follo"s%
G8 goi!g to get dressed% 8d li#e soe pri*a$y,H 8 say, y *oi$e flat a!d epty as 8 lea*e
hi sta!di!g i! the bedroo%
3eadi!g do"!stairs, 8 gla!$e at the great roo, thi!#i!g ho" o!ly hours before 8 had rested
y head o! his shoulder as he played the pia!o% So u$h has happe!ed si!$e the!%
8 ha*e had y eyes ope!ed a!d glipsed the e1te!t of his depra*ity, a!d 8 !o" #!o" hes !ot
$apable of lo*e C of gi*i!g or re$ei*i!g lo*e% =y "orst fears ha*e bee! realiFed% &!d stra!gely, its
*ery liberati!g%
The pai! is su$h that 8 refuse to a$#!o"ledge it% 8 feel !ub% 8 ha*e soeho" es$aped fro
y body a!d a !o" a $asual obser*er to this u!foldi!g tragedy% 8 sho"er Bui$#ly a!d
ethodi$ally, thi!#i!g o!ly of ea$h se$o!d i! fro!t of e% +o" sBueeFe body "ash bottle% .ut body
"ash bottle ba$# i! ra$#% Dub $loth o! fa$e, o! shouldersL o! a!d o!, all siple, e$ha!i$al
a$tio!s, reBuiri!g siple e$ha!i$al thoughts%
8 fi!ish y sho"er C a!d as 8 ha*e!t "ashed y hair, 8 $a! dry yself Bui$#ly% 8 dress i! the
bathroo, ta#i!g y @ea!s a!d t9shirt out of y sall suit$ase% =y @ea!s $hafe agai!st y
ba$#side, but Buite fra!#ly, its a pai! 8 "el$oe as it distra$ts y i!d fro "hats happe!i!g to
y spli!teri!g, shattered heart%
8 stoop to shut y suit$ase, a!d the bag holdi!g Christia!s gift $at$hes y eye, a odeli!g
#it for a 0lah!i# L22 glider, soethi!g for hi to build% Tears threate!% Oh no0
happier ties, "he! there "as hope of ore% 8 ta#e it out of the $ase, #!o"i!g that 8 !eed
to gi*e it to hi% Qui$#ly, 8 rip a sall pie$e of paper fro y !oteboo#, hastily s$ribble a
!ote for hi, a!d lea*e it o! top of the bo1%
8 gaFe at yself i! the irror% & pale a!d hau!ted ghost stares ba$# at e% 8 s$oop y hair
i!to a po!ytail a!d ig!ore ho" s"olle! y eyelids are fro the $ryi!g% =y sub$o!s$ious !ods "ith
appro*al% E*e! she #!o"s !ot to be s!ar#y right !o"% 8 $a!!ot belie*e that y "orld is $rubli!g
arou!d e i!to a sterile pile of ashes, all y hopes a!d dreas $ruelly dashed% +o, !o do!t thi!#
about it% +ot !o", !ot yet% Ta#i!g a deep breath, 8 pi$# up y $ase, a!d after pla$i!g the glider #it
a!d y !ote o! his pillo", 8 head for the great roo%
Christia! is o! the pho!e% 3es dressed i! bla$# @ea!s a!d t9shirt% 3is feet are bare%
G3e said "hatKH he shouts, a#i!g e @up% GWell, he $ould ha*e told us the fu$#i!g truth%
Whats his !uber, 8 !eed to $all hiL Wel$h, this is a real fu$#9up%H 3e gla!$es up a!d does!t
ta#e his dar# a!d broodi!g eyes off e% GFi!d her,H he s!aps a!d presses the off s"it$h%
8 "al# o*er to the $ou$h a!d $olle$t y ba$#pa$#, doi!g y best to ig!ore hi% 8 ta#e the
=a$ out of it a!d "al# ba$# to"ard the #it$he!, pla$i!g it $arefully o! the brea#fast bar, alo!g "ith
the 0la$#0erry a!d the $ar #ey% Whe! 8 tur! to fa$e hi, hes stari!g at e, stupefied "ith horror%
G8 !eed the o!ey that Taylor got for y 0eetle%H =y *oi$e is $lear a!d $al, de*oid of
eotio!L e<traordinary.
G&!a, 8 do!t "a!t those thi!gs, theyre yours,H he says i! disbelief% G.lease, ta#e the%H
G+o Christia! C 8 o!ly a$$epted the u!der suffera!$e C a!d 8 do!t "a!t the a!yore%H
G&!a, be reaso!able,H he s$olds e, e*e! !o"%
G8 do!t "a!t a!ythi!g that "ill rei!d e of you% 8 @ust !eed the o!ey that Taylor got for
y $ar%H =y *oi$e is Buite o!oto!e%
3e gasps%
G&re you really tryi!g to "ou!d eIH
G+o%H 8 fro"! stari!g at hi% /f $ourse !otL 8 lo*e you% G8 !ot% 8 tryi!g to prote$t
yself,H 8 "hisper% 0e$ause you do!t "a!t e the "ay 8 "a!t you%
G.lease, &!a, ta#e that stuff%H
GChristia!, 8 do!t "a!t to fight C 8 @ust !eed the o!ey%H
3e !arro"s his eyes, but 8 !o lo!ger i!tiidated by hi% Well, o!ly a little% 8 gaFe
ipassi*ely ba$#, !ot bli!#i!g or ba$#i!g do"!%
GWill you ta#e a $he$#IH he says a$idly%
GJes% 8 thi!# youre good for it%H
3e does!t sile, he @ust tur!s o! his heel a!d stal#s i!to his study% 8 ta#e a last li!geri!g loo#
arou!d his aparte!t C at the art o! the "alls C all abstra$ts, sere!e, $oolL $old, e*e!% Fitti!g, 8
thi!# abse!tly% =y eyes stray to the pia!o% JeeF C if 8d #ept y outh shut, "ed ha*e ade lo*e
o! the pia!o% +o, fu$#ed, "e "ould ha*e fu$#ed o! the pia!o%
Well, 8 "ould ha*e ade lo*e% The thought lies hea*y a!d sad i! y i!d% 3e has !e*er
ade lo*e to e, has heI 8ts al"ays bee! fu$#i!g to hi%
Christia! retur!s a!d ha!ds e a! e!*elope%
GTaylor got a good pri$e% 8ts a $lassi$ $ar% Jou $a! as# hi% 3ell ta#e you hoe%H
3e !ods i! the dire$tio! o*er y shoulder% 8 tur!, a!d Taylor is sta!di!g i! the door"ay,
"eari!g his suit, as ipe$$able as e*er%
GThats fi!e, 8 $a! get yself hoe, tha!# you%H
8 tur! to stare at Christia!, a!d 8 see the barely9$o!tai!ed fury i! his eyes%
G&re you goi!g to defy e at e*ery tur!IH
GWhy $ha!ge a habit of a lifetieIH 8 gi*e hi a sall, apologeti$ shrug%
3e $loses his eyes i! frustratio! a!d ru!s his ha!d through his hair%
G.lease, &!a, let Taylor ta#e you hoe%H
G8ll get the $ar, =iss Steele,H Taylor a!!ou!$es authoritati*ely% Christia! !ods at hi, a!d
"he! 8 gla!$e arou!d, Taylor has go!e%
8 tur! ba$# to fa$e Christia!% We are four feet apart% 3e steps for"ard, a!d i!sti!$ti*ely 8 step
ba$#% 3e stops, a!d the a!guish i! his e1pressio! is palpable, his gray eyes bur!i!g%
G8 do!t "a!t you to go,H he ururs, his *oi$e full of lo!gi!g%
G8 $a!t stay% 8 #!o" "hat 8 "a!t a!d you $a!t gi*e it to e, a!d 8 $a!t gi*e you "hat you
!eed%H
3e ta#es a!other step for"ard, a!d 8 hold up y ha!ds%
G<o!t, please%H 8 re$oil fro hi% Theres !o "ay 8 $a! tolerate his tou$h !o", it "ill slay
e% G8 $a!t do this%H
>rabbi!g y suit$ase a!d y ba$#pa$#, 8 head for the foyer% 3e follo"s e, #eepi!g a
$areful dista!$e% 3e presses the ele*ator butto!, a!d the doors ope!% 8 $lib i!%
G>oodbye, Christia!,H 8 urur%
G&!a, goodbye,H he says softly, a!d he loo#s utterly, utterly bro#e!, a a! i! ago!iFi!g pai!,
refle$ti!g ho" 8 feel i!side% 8 tear y gaFe a"ay fro hi before 8 $ha!ge y i!d a!d try to
$ofort hi%
The ele*ator doors $lose, a!d it "his#s e do"! to the bo"els of the basee!t a!d to y
o"! perso!al hell%
Taylor holds the door ope! for e, a!d 8 $lib i!to the ba$# of the $ar% 8 a*oid eye $o!ta$t%
Ebarrasse!t a!d shae "ashes o*er e% 8 a $oplete failure% 8 had hoped to drag y
Fifty Shades i!to the light, but its pro*ed a tas# beyo!d y eager abilities% <esperately, 8 try to
#eep y eotio!s ba!#ed a!d at bay% &s "e head out o!to Sth &*e!ue, 8 stare bla!#ly out of the
"i!do", a!d the e!ority of "hat 8*e do!e slo"ly "ashes o*er e% %hit 2 I*6e left him. The o!ly
a! 8*e e*er lo*ed% The o!ly a! 8*e e*er slept "ith%
8 gasp, a!d the le*ees burst% Tears $ourse u!bidde! a!d u!"el$oe do"! y $hee#s, a!d 8
"ipe the a"ay hurriedly "ith y fi!gers, s$rabli!g i! y bag for y su!glasses% &s "e pause at
soe traffi$ lights, Taylor holds out a li!e! ha!d#er$hief for e% 3e says !othi!g a!d does!t loo#
i! y dire$tio!, a!d 8 ta#e it "ith gratitude%
GTha!# you,H 8 utter, a!d this sall dis$reet a$t of #i!d!ess is y u!doi!g% 8 sit ba$# i! the
lu1urious leather seats a!d "eep%
The aparte!t is a$hi!gly epty a!d u!failiar% 8 ha*e !ot li*ed here lo!g e!ough for it to
feel li#e hoe% 8 head straight to y roo, a!d there, ha!gi!g liply at the e!d of y bed, is a *ery
sad, deflated heli$opter balloo!% Charlie Ta!go, loo#i!g a!d feeli!g e1a$tly li#e e% 8 grab it a!grily
off y bedrail, s!appi!g the tie, a!d hug it to e% Oh 2 what ha6e I done.
8 fall o!to y bed, shoes a!d all, a!d ho"l% The pai! is i!des$ribableL physi$al, e!talL
etaphysi$alL it is e*ery"here, seepi!g i!to the arro" of y bo!es% >rief%
This is grief C a!d 8*e brought it o! yself% <eep do"!, a !asty, u!bidde! thought $oes
fro y i!!er goddess, her lip $urled i! a s!arlL the physi$al pai! fro the bite of a belt is
!othi!g, !othi!g $opared to this de*astatio!% 8 $url up, desperately $lut$hi!g the flat foil balloo!
a!d Taylors ha!d#er$hief, a!d surre!der yself to y grief%
8nd of /art One
$able of #ontents
Start
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