Umberto Eco Misreadings
Umberto Eco Misreadings
Umberto Eco Misreadings
Misreadings
A HARVEST ORIGINAL
A HELEN AND KURT WOLFF BOOK
HARCOURT BRACE
San Diego
&
COMPANY
New York
London
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1993
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OCT 2 q 1993
Contents
Preface 1
Granita 7
Fragments 1 5
The Socratic Strip 2 7
Regretfully, We Are Returning Your .
. 33
47
-James Joyce
Misreadings
Preface
MISREADINGS
Preface
MISREADINGS
Preface
Granita
MISREADINGS
Granita
MISREADINGS
Granita
11
MISREADINGS
parque.
12
Granita
13
MISREADINGS
1 J.
Frgments
Distinguished colleagues,
You are surely not unaware that for some time Arctic
scholars have been engaged in intense research and
have, as a result, brought to light numerous relics of
the ancient civilization that flourished in the temper
ate and tropical zones of our planet before the catas
trophe of the year the known as 1980, in the ancient
era, or, more correctly, Year One, after the Explo
sion destroyed every trace of life in those zones. For
millennia afterward, as everyone krtows, they re
mained so contaminated by radioactivity that until a
few decades ago our expeditions could approach these
territories only at extreme risk, despite the eagerness
of scientists to reveal to the whole Galaxy the degree
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Fragments
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Fragments
19
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Fragments
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Fragments
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Fragmems
Ciao ciao bambina
Get thee to a nunnery
Nunnery, hey nonny!
Come back to Sorrento
As dreams are made on
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?R
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32
Regretfully, We
Are Returning Your .
Readers) Reports
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MISREADINGS
Desperadoes?
Homer, The Odyssey
Personally, I like this book. A good yarn, exciting,
packed with adventure. Sufficient love interest, both
marital fidelity and adulterous flings (Calypso is a
great character, a real man-eater) ; there's even a Lo
lita aspect, with the teenager Nausicaa, where the
author doesn't spell things out, but it's a turn-on
anyway. Great dramatic moments, a one-eyed giant,
cannibals, even some drugs, but nothing illegal,
because as far as I know the lotus isn't on the Nar
cotics Bureau's list. The final scene is in the best
tradition of the Western : some heavy fist-swinging,
and the business with the bow is a masterstroke of
suspense.
What can I say ? It's a page turner, all right, not
like the author's first book, which was too static, all
concerned with unity of place and tediously over
plotted. By the time the reader reached the third
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40
Manzoni, Alessandro,
Promessi sp osi
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42
Proust, Marcel,
A la recherche
du temps perdu
This is undoubtedly a serious work, perhaps too
long, but as a paperback series it could sell.
But it won't do as is. It needs serious editing. For
example, the punctuation has to be redone. The
sentences are too labored ; some take up a whole
page. With plenty of good in-house work, reducing
each sentence to a maximum of two or three lines,
breaking up paragraphs, indenting more often, the
book would be enormously improved.
If the author doesn't agree, then forget it. As it
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MISREADINGS
Kant, Immanuel,
Critique of
Practical Reason
I asked Susan to take a look at this, and she tells
me that after Barth es there's no point translating this
Kant. In any case, I glanced at it myself. A reasonably
short book on morality could fit nicely into our
philosophy series, and might even be adopted by
some universities. But the German publisher says
that if we take this one, we have to commit ourselves
not only to the author's previous book, which is an
immense thing in at least two volumes, but also to
the one he is working on now, about art or about
judgment, I'm not sure which. All three books have
more or less the same title, so they would have to be
sold boxed (and at a price no reader could afford) ;
otherwise bookshop browsers would mistake one for
the other and think, "I've already read this. " Re
member the Summa of that Dominican? We began
to translate it, and then we had to pass the rights on
to Sheed and Ward because it ran way over budget.
There's another problem. The German agent tells
me that we would also have to publish the minor
works of this Kant, a whole pile of stuff including
something about astronomy. Day before yesterday I
tried to phone him directly in Koenigsberg, to see if
we could do just one book, but the cleaning woman
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The Thing
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The Thing
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The Thing
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The Thing
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Industry and
Sexual Repression
in a Po Valley Society
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71
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an
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an
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no-longer-originating
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1 00
101
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1 02
1 03.
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1 04
p. 60.
13 Phaedrus, 23 - 30.
105
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1 06
1 07
MISREADINGS
1 08
18 ExA.ilTlTE, p. 1 9.
1 09
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1 10
p. 42.
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1 12
IV, 55.
23 Cf. Galen, De placitis Hippocratis et Platonis V. Cf. also Pliny, Nat. Hist.
XXXIV.
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1 14
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I, passim.
Letter to My Son
Dear Stefano,
Christmas is marching upon us, and soon the big
stores downtown will be packed with excited fathers
acting out their annual scenario of hypocritical gen
erosity, having joyfully awaited this moment when
they can buy for themselves-pretending it's for
their sons- their cherished electric trains, the puppet
theater, the target with bow and arrows, and the
family Ping-Pong set. But I will still be an observer,
because this year my turn hasn't yet come, you are
too little, and Montessori-approved infant toys don't
give me any great pleasure, probably because I don't
enjoy sticking them in my mouth, even if the man
ufacturer's label assures me that they cannot be swal
lowed whole. No, I must wait, two years, or three
or four. Then it will be my turn; the phase of mother
dominated education will pass, the rule of the teddy
bear will decline and fall, and the moment will come
when with the sweet and sacrosanct violence of pa-
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118
Letter to My Son
1 19
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1 20
Letter to My Son
121
MISREADINGS
1 22
Letter to My Son
1 23
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1 24
Letter to My Son
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1 29
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L 'Histoire d'O
(Draft of a Review
for Ladies Home Journal )
How much time, and how much trouble should a
woman take in preparing herself for an evening with
her fiance? We have already dealt with this problem
several times in our column, but we are prompted to
address it again after the publication of this little
book, probably the work of a famous international
visagiste who has coyly chosen to hide behind the
pseudonym of Pauline Reage.
One reason the book can be recommended is the
attention it devotes to details of toilette often ne
glected by how-to books and women's magazines,
even though such details are of supreme importance.
Our readers therefore can find helpful hints about
fixing iron rings around ankles and wrists, accessories
usually ignored since they require a great deal of care
to ensure they are fastened securely. It's a great
mistake to rely on the guarantee of some masked
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MISREADINGS
134
DAN :
Good evening, folks. Here it's 7 P . M . on the
11th of October 1492, and we're linked directly with
the flagship of the Columbus expedition, which by
7 A . M . tomorrow should put Europe's first thalatan
aut on a new land, a new planet, if I may be allowed
the metaphor, that Terra Incognita so many astron
omers, geographers, cartographers, and travelers have
dreamed of. Some claim that this land is the Indies,
reached from the West rather than from the East ;
others say it's actually a whole new continent, enor
mous and unexplored. As of now, in a joint effort,
all our TV networks will be transmitting around the
clock, twenty-five hours. We're linked with the te
lecamera installed on the flagship, the Santa Maria,
and with our relay station in the Canary Islands, as
well as with Sforza TV in Milan, and the Universities
of Salamanca and of Wittenberg.
Our guest here in the studio is Professor Leonardo
da Vinci, the famous scientist and futurologist, who
will provide a running commentary, explaining the
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136
gonda . . .
JIM :
Maria.
Right you are, J im ! One o f the boys here
is saying the same thing. But there's a difference of
opinion about whether it's the Santa Maria . . . In
any case, a caravel is a typical Mediterranean vessel,
and our technical department has prepared a scale
model . . . By the way, this uniform I'm wearing is
from the Spanish navy. How do you like it? Now,
the caravel, as I was saying, isJIM :
Sorry to interrupt you, Alastair, but Professor
Vinci's hei:e in the studio with us, and he can perhaps
tell us something about the caravel from a propulsion
point of view . . .
Deman retep taerg a . . .
LEONARDO :
JIM :
Hang on a minute, control room. Professor
Vinci has a kind of, well, you might call it . a quirk
. . . He talks from right to left, so you'll have to
reverse the ampex. If you recall, we arranged a nine
second delay for this reason, between recording and
transmission. Ready with the ampex? C an you hear
me? Roll it !
ALASTAIR :
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JIM :
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MISREADINGS
ALASTAIR :
I didn't hear very well, but it wasn't what
we have in the press kit. One of the engine,ers says
it must have been interference. This apparently hap
pens a lot in the New World. Here we are ! Admiral
Columbus is about to speak !
COLUMBUS :
A small step for a sailor, a giant step
for His Catholic Majesty . . . Hey, what's that
they're wearing around their necks ? Holy shit, that's
gold ! Gold !
ALASTAIR :
The spectacle the cameras are giving us
is truly grand ! The sailors are running toward the
natives with great leaps, man's first leaps in the New
World . . . From the necks of the natives they are
collecting samples of the New World's minerals,
cramming them into big plastic bags . . . Now the
natives are also making great leaps, to get away.
Apparently the lesser gravity would cause them to
fly off, so the sailors are fastening them to the ground
with heavy chains . . . Now the natives are all neatly
lined up in a civilized way, while the sailors head for
the ships with the heavy bags filled with the local
mineral. The bags are extremely heavy, and the men
have had to make a huge effort to fill them and carry
them
JIM :
It's the white man's burden, Alastair !
1 9 68
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MISREADINGS
Antonioni Scenario
An x empty Y lot. z She k walks away.
Variants Key
x
y
k
n
1 46
Variants Key
a
b
c
d
e
f
g
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MISREADINGS
n
o
p
q
r
s
t
u
v
z
w
x
k
148
Variants Key
a
1 49
MISREADINGS
e
f
m
n
150
Variants Key
x
y
z
n
k
s
151
MISREADINGS
b
v
1 52
Variants Key
a
b
c
1 53
MISREADINGS
154
danturweltanschaunggotterdammerungfiihrer of
the SA of Upper Silesia. The catamite of her
impotent and racist husband.
A fisherman from the Tremiti Islands. Steel
worker. Riverboat gambler. Mad doctor in a
Nazi concentration camp. Commander of the
Pharaoh's light cavalry. Aide-de-camp of Mar
shal Radetzsky. Garibaldi's lieutenant. Gondo
lier.
Giving him wrong directions about the route.
Entrusting to him a bogus secret message. Sum
moning him to a cemetery on the night of Good
Friday. Disguising him as Rigoletto's daughter
and putting him in a sack. Opening a trapdoor
in the great hall of the ancestral castle while he
is singing Manon dressed up as Marlene Die
trich.
To Marshal Radetzsky. To the Pharaoh. To
Tigellinus. To the Duke of Parma. To the Prince
of Salina. To the Oberdeutscheskriminalinter
polphallusfiihrer of the SS of Pomerania.
Sings an aria from Aida. Sets off in a fishing
smack to reach Malta and is never heard from
again. Is beaten with iron bars during a wildcat
strike. Is sodomized by a squadron of uhlans
under the command of the Prince of Homburg.
Becomes infected during sexual contact with
.Vanina Vanini. Is sold as a slave to the Sultan
and found again by the Borgia at the flea market
of Portobello Road. Is used as a throw rug by
the Pharaoh's' daughter.
155
The Phenomenology of
Mike Bongiorno
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1 60
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1 64
My Exagmination
Round His Factification for Incamination
to Reduplication with Ridecolation of a
Portrait of the Artist as Alessandro Manzoni
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1 66
My Exagmination
. "
"
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My Exagmination
1 69
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1 70
My Exagmination
1 71
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1 72
My Exagmination
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My Exagmination
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My Exagmination
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My Exagmination
a novel of Providence.
Worse still, there will be no dearth of pseudo
intellectual interpretations that attempt to see these
archetypal symbols as so many "narrative charac
ters, " even referring to a so-called Joycean realism.
And we strongly suspect that there will be those who
dwell on the beauty of the language without bearing
in mind that every expression, every image here is
"beautiful" because it connotes a richer symbolic
reality. But the temptation to aesthetic distortion is
always present in criticism as in contemporary po
etry, and thus it is difficult to know how to read a
book. We therefore conclude this review of ours,
which is also an invitation to direct and immediate
contact with the text, by citing a statement made a
few years ago by Ezra Pound when he commented
on some verses of a -little poem printed by the firm
of Faber & Faber, The Divine Comedy: "Rarely is
clarity a gift of the poet, and for one vorticist like
Cavalcanti we will always find ten academics bloated
with culture like Burchiello. This means that Usury
nests always in our midst, but there is always the
lucidity of a phanopoeia that can save us. Why then
1 79
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1 962
180
( 1983)
( 1984)
Travels in Hyperreality
( 1 986)
Foucault's Pendulum ( 1 989)
( 197 6)
( 1979)
( 1984)
( 1986)
( 1988)
( 1 989)
The Aesthetics of Chaosmos ( 1989)
The Open Work