Zarzar 1

People have always told me how unusual my last name is. I am used to the comments of

how cool and different it is. And truthfully, I relish in it's uniqueness. I was always aware that the

name was different, and recently I have been digging into my family history. My paternal

grandparents have one heck of a story, and I have had the privilege of working with my

grandmother on my family history. I think it is so important to know where you come from, and

after learning their story, it gives me great pride to be a part of the Zarzar family. This history

goes back on my father's side. My grandfather (who has passed away) was a remarkable man

who overcame so much in his life, and my grandmother is the most beautiful, most elegant,

strongest and most determined lady I have ever met, who also overcame so much. I recently sat

down and interviewed her about her and my grandfather's life, and all of this information comes

from her, and a printed dictation of my grandfather's, where he talks about his school years. It is

a great honor and joy to share my family history with you.

My grandmother, Doris Grace Zarzar (born Doris Grace Azzam) was born in a German

hospital in Haifa, which lies along Mt. Carmels coastal mountain range in 1937. She is the

second oldest in her family, and has three sisters, Katie (born 1936) , Hala, (born 1942) and

Randa (born 1944, died 2008) She was born to Costandi Azzam and Rose Haddad Azzam . Her

mother was a housewife, and her father worked for a British company in downtown Haifa. He

worked with the English government in the office called Fishery. The cargo boats associated

with the office were his property. Her paternal grandparents, Nicola and Katrina Azzam , also

lived with her. Her grandfather was a priest, and his church was right across the street from their

home. He often traveled to Europe and Russia for the Orthodox Church. She told me that her

childhood was beautiful and safe, despite the war going on. She told me she lived in a house built

with stone that had green shutters, surrounded by a green fence where her, her sisters, and her
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second cousins could play. She told me the outside was all terrazzo covered by a canopy, and

she, her sisters, and her second cousins enjoyed riding bikes. Her grandfathers niece and

nephews lived next door, their father had died when they were young, so her grandfather took

care of them (there were four of them, and his oldest nephew had six children, my grandmothers

second cousins, whom she played with) Her grandfather also took in two orphans from his

church. The girl became a mothers helper and her brother was a gardener. They also lived on the

property.

She said she was very adventurous, and love to climb trees, pick wildflowers, and sneak

to a nearby nightclub and watch the dancing with her second cousins and sisters. She said it was

very quiet and peaceful, there werent too many buildings around. There was a bed and breakfast

nearby, and in between her home and the bed and breakfast were bomb shelters that were put

there during the war (details of the war will be explained later, as the information is provided in

my grandfathers dictation). Across the street was her grandfathers church, and the church yard

was also fenced, and she, her second cousins, and her sisters would play in the church yard while

her grandfather gave his sermons. Every weekend, when her father wasn't working, he would

take them across Palestine in his green car named Morris, and he loved to sing. She told me he

had the most beautiful voice, and he sang all the time, in the shower, in the car, and the family

would sit and listen to him sing. His favorite song was called Begin The Beguine, an "oldie"

according to my grandmother. He passed away when she was nine from typhoid. He had

contracted Malaria. Something was wrong with one of the cargo ships, and he had to go check on

it. The exact cause of how he contracted Malaria is not known, my grandmother said he was

probably bitten by a mosquito or something. He was hospitalized and stayed in a communicable

disease ward, and caught typhoid and passed away.

Her grandmother Katrinas husband, Nicola (my grandmothers grandfather) passed away

first, then her daughter Hannah passed away shortly before her sons (my grandmothers fathers)

death. My grandmother told me she wouldnt let anyone sit on her bed but her, because she

looked just like her father. She told me she tried to teach her Greek, (Katrina was born in

Greece), but my grandmother much preferred to go outside and play.

She told me her father was very artistic, and he made her a black cat for a Brownies

auction, and Hala a puppet. Her mother was the strict one. She laughed as she told me her father

was the one who spoiled them and her mother was the one who kept them in line. She told me

her mother had beautiful brown hair and brown eyes, and was a bit whiter than [me], (Im

super pale). Her father had blonde hair and green eyes, and my grandmother has those green

eyes. She also told me her mothers helper would tell her that her parents werent her real parents

because she disliked her and her sister so much. And my grandma would beg to go back to her

real parents. Her parents had a chat with the helper after that.

She told me she loved reading as she got older, loved to be outside and go and do things,

and loved to swim since the beach was right nearby. She hated housework, and said she tried to

avoid it as much as possible (as do I).

The war eventually escalated and they had to leave. A lot of times they had to hide under

the beds from the bombing. She was only eleven years old when they left. The Britain took her

house, because they didnt want anyone living there, since it was in a dangerous spot in

proximity to the fighting. They moved to a neighborhood called German Colony, because a lot

of Germans lived there. Then, her and two of her sisters (Randa was still a baby and stayed with

her mother) and from there went to Lebanon with her aunt. The last they heard of her fathers

cargo boats was the last one that left for Lebanon that carried her mom, baby sister, and
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grandmother. Her uncle had to send an ambulance for her mother because she was so reluctant to

go.

She went to school in Lebanon. She stayed with her uncle in Beirut for a while, because

after her father passed away, her mother went back to work as a social worker, but it took her a

bit of time to find a job in Lebanon. Eventually, her mother found a job as a dietitian in a

boarding school, and the family moved back in with her and moved to Chouiefat, where here and

her sisters all graduated high school. She went to National College of Chouiefat in her high

school years, and after she graduated, she went to the American School of Nursing in Beirut and

met my grandfather in her second year.

My grandfather, Nakhleh Pacifico Zarzar was born in Bethlehem in 1932 to Pacifico

Saleh Youssef Zarzar and Manneh Hanna Zarzar. He was the eighth of ten children. My

grandmother told me it was almost like they had two separate families, his older brother was

about twenty something years older than him, and the older ones were born in South America.

His father and mother both lived in South America before returning to Bethlehem. His father

began working in Bolivia, South America where as a young teenager, he started selling clothes

door to door. Eventually when he was older, he was able to develop a Linen Factory with some

friends from Bethlehem. His mother migrated to South America when she was 14, by boat to

Argentina, and then horseback to Bolivia, where she later married my great grandfather. Most of

their children were born there. On a printed diction by my grandfather, he said there were ten

siblings, but we only know the names of eight. Elaine, George, Linda, Nabiha, Olga, and

Theodore were all born in South America to my understanding. After his older siblings were

born, his mother moved back to Bethlehem with her children, and his father often traveled to

Bolivia to take care of the factory. At age 45, he retired, and the three youngest, Margo, my
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grandfather, and Jack were born. They were the younger bunch versus the older bunch who were

in their twenties, hence the two separate families comparison.

My grandmother tells me he was the quieter one, and the mature one, and she believed

his family depended on him. He held down the fort. According to my grandfathers dictation, his

first year of school was at the Good Shepard School in Bethlehem, which was walking distance

from his home. As the revolution in Palestine and World War Two escalated during his first grade

year, he was forced to move schools, so he skipped second grade, and entered Al-Nahda school

in Jerusalem in third grade. He later returned to The Good Shepard school in fourth grade, and

remained there until sixth grade. He played soccer and baseball from third to sixth grade. He and

his sister, Margo, took turns playing the organ during the schools morning service, and he also

took piano lessons. He says in his document that these were pleasant years.

When he was seven years old (1939), their family moved into a new home, which his

father built out of marble and wood from Italy. His oldest brother finished his pharmacy training

at The American University and Beirut also in 1939, and my grandpa writes that they were a

very happy family. Since his father had retired, they spent a lot of time together, and enjoyed

playing backgammon at home. His father passed away in 1945, when my grandfather was 13,

from a mediastina tumor.

After completing school at The Good Shepards School, he attended the Bishop Colbert

School in Jerusalem. Something happened during those high school years that could have very

much altered my family history, and Im not sure I, nor my sister, nor my father, my uncles, or

any of my cousins would be here if it did.

My grandfather rode the bus to school since the school was not within walking distance

from his home (it was about five miles away on the southern edge of Jerusalem, to be exact).
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Two buses came, and he usually took the first bus, but if he missed it, he would take the second

one. One day, it just so happened that he missed the first one and took the second one, and went

to school only to find his mother and brother there to check on him, because the Israeli

underground had blown up the first bus. This was in January 1948, and after that incident, his

mother and brother decided that it was not safe for him to continue going to school. Thank

goodness he missed the first bus that day. In the time he was in high school, he wrote that he was

appointed squad leader and in charge of exercising high school students and organizing a soccer

team. They also played basketball. His schooling consisted of daily classes on both the Old and

New Testament, and grammar classes as well.

Also in 1948, his brother took his immediate family to Egypt on a vacation, only to be

confined and not allowed to come back to Bethlehem. My grandfather was then put in charge of

the pharmacy since he had helped him prior to him going to Egypt, where he encountered

another terrifying incident. He was only sixteen at the time. My grandmother told me a soldier

(we are not totally sure from where, probably either a Sudanese or Ethiopian soldier) came into

the pharmacy, pointed a gun at my grandfathers head, and demanded he be treated or else he

would shoot my grandfather. My grandfather had no idea what to do, but nevertheless,

miraculously treated the soldier. My grandfather also wrote that he once had to clean a drunk

Sudanese soldiers wounds, who was very thankful, but screaming from the pain, and met many

Egyptian soldiers, and exchanged their Egyptian money to Palestinian money, which got him

some additional cash. He also wrote he made the mistake of selling medicines that were hard to

come by, which decreased inventory. At age sixteen, I would have never been able to realize that,

let alone, comprehend all that my grandfather had gone through.

He wrote he watched the fighting between the Jewish settlers and the Palestinians from

his balcony. He carried a gun to and from work, for protection. Imagine having to do that at

seventeen. He describes it as a very scary time, rumors were flying everywhere, but he writes

we were spared fighting and any attacks on my home. Both of my grandparents lived through

the Palestinian uprising against the British Mandate (because they had given the Jewish

population a large bulk of Palestine, the Jewish were the minority). The uprising subsided in

1939, but all was not peaceful, for World War Two began, and then the Palestinian-Israeli

conflict, which is still going on today, followed that. Both my grandmother and grandfather lived

through this, which is why her family left to Lebanon. Although she was just a baby during the

first revolution, nevertheless, her family, and my grandfather and his family lived through it. My

grandfather wrote that many of the things we take for granted now such as chocolates,

toothpaste, and other necessities were available only to a limited extent. His older brother

George also passed away during that time period.

After my grandfather was pulled out of school, he was given a degree indicating that he

was able to graduate given the circumstances. He took the entrance exam to the American

University in Beirut in 1949 and was accepted, and entered college as a sophomore at the age of

seventeen (He skipped freshman year). He studied courses such as English, Arabic, chemistry,

and physics. He spent two years in college as a sophomore and junior before entering medical

school. During his two years in college, he was treasurer of the zoology and chess club. He also

took archery and played tennis. He received his Bachelors Degree with distinction, which was

his first year of medicine that the school allowed to replace senior year. Quite ironically, he was

very happy he did not have to take the swimming exam that freshman were required to take, and

only went to the beach in a limited way. My grandma loved swimming, but could never quite
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convince him to go. When they were dating, he never went swimming and she said [she] was

out of luck.

He went to medical school for four years, and took a required internship in his fifth year

and was licensed under the state of New York. He actually found out he was colorblind there,

after telling a professor that he saw a bunch of green on a slide, when the slide actually had blood

on it. First year he learned basic sciences, the three years after that were inpatient, fourth year

outpatient, and fifth year inpatient. In his first year at medical school, he was elected to student

council, and a speaker of a civic organization that received students from other countries in the

Middle East. He later became president of the Civic Welfare League, which included committees

such as free clinics, raising money for childrens clinic relief, putting on a theatrical

performance of Dorian Crane, organizing the Miss AUB (one year he was president, a male

dressed up as a female won, )and provided relief for areas that has suffered natural disasters such

as earthquakes. And an earthquake brought my grandparents together.

My grandmother told me that they first met when he was on rotation in the operating

room and she was on rotation on the sterilization room in 1953. At the time, he was dating her

head nurse, Mary. She said he would come out of the operating room, mask on, and ask if Mary

was there and she would say no. Then a bit later, ANOTHER guy, who looked exactly like my

grandfather, came by and asked the same thing, and my grandmother thought that stupid guy, he

just asked me! She later figured out there were two. My grandfather and grandmother at that

time only talked occasionally, since he was dating Mary, but they had no idea what was in store

for them. Eventually, Mary and my grandfather broke up.

An earthquake hit in 1954, and my grandfather was president of the Civil Welfare

League, as I mentioned before. He went to my grandmothers roommate and asked her if she
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could ask my grandmother to help. And my grandmother thought why he ask me himself? But

she went to help anyway. Then he asked her on a date, and they began dating. She told me he

would bring her Kit- Kat bars when she was on night duty.

My grandpa came to America to finish his residency at UNC-Chapel Hill. My

grandparents kept in touch, but my grandma was certain he was going to find some American

girl and get married, but nevertheless, said she would wait for him when he asked. And lo and

behold, the operator called my grandmother and said she was going to have a call from the

United States. She had received a letter earlier from him that said he needed to ask her a very

important question, and he would call her. All her friends gathered in her room, and told her she

should dress up, but she thought it made no sense because she was calling him. But they knew

something she didnt. He asked her to marry him, all her friends screamed, and he asked whos

in the room?

When she went to the Embassy to get her VISA, she was told she couldnt go. Her uncle

was the physician for the embassy, and was able to get her the VISA, but it was one week late.

They had originally planned to honeymoon in Hawaii. However, since Hawaii wasnt a state, my

grandparents would not be allowed to come back to the United States, since he was on a student

VISA and she was a visitor.

They married in New York City in 1957 at St. Nicholas Church, and had a small wedding.

They decided it was safer to stay in America to get married because my grandfather would have

to serve in the Jordanian army in order to be allowed to come back to the U.S. She was late to

her wedding though, her cousin was driving her from Connecticut, and got lost. When she got

there, my grandpa rushed her in because there was a funeral afterwards.

They planned to go back home after my grandfather finished his residency. But the

director of Mental Health at Umstead offered my grandfather his position. In order for that to

happen, he had to be an American citizen, so Robert Kennedy (The Attorney General) was

contacted, and both he and my grandmother became American citizens. Her family remained in

Lebanon, except for her sister Hala who moved to New York when she got married.

She told me that it was hard at first to live in America. She faced a lot of prejudice

coming from the Middle East. One time at a dinner, a college student told my grandmother oh

my gosh, you learned how to eat with a fork! And she leaned over to my grandpa and whispered

in Arabic Im going to kill her. And my grandpa responded Oh yeah, and she parked her

camel down the street!

They had three children. My grandmother said she worked as a mother. Their first

child, Micheal Nakhleh Zarzar was born in 1958. Nicholas Saleh Zarzar was born in 1960, and

five years later, my father David Paul Zarzar was born in 1965. My grandfather was the medical

director of Mental Health at Umstead, then became the regional director of a section of North

Carolina (from here to the mountains, according to my grandmother), and then became the

director of mental health for North Carolina from 1973-1977. Then, he retired and went to

private practice in 1977, and all three of his sons followed in his footsteps, and eventually

opened their own practice, Zarzar Psychiatric Associates.

My grandmother said he was very helpful, for example, she told me he came for lunch

one day. She asked why he was there and he told her he had come for lunch, but she broke down

in tears because she didnt know how to cook. He taught her to cook chicken and spaghetti, but

after a week of the same meal, she said he decided to buy her a cookbook. He taught her well

because she can cook some killer food. She said he had a garden, and would wear his suit and
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good shoes in the garden. She said he played the accordion for fun and every Saturday he made

bread and feta cheese which we still eat today. She said that my grandpa always said to look at

the good at people and not the bad, and be the better person. And he saw the good in everyone.

As she was telling me this she said, I wish he was still around here, and slightly chuckled. I

wish he was here too. But he is here, in my dad and uncles practice, in our Christmas Eve

gatherings, in all of us.

My grandfather never complained either. He had diabetes, and my grandmother doesnt

think he was too careful with it, and often with diabetes comes strokes. In 1990, while they were

at the beach he learned he was having heart problems, and he had to have a bypass. After the

bypass he was fine, but then he had a stroke in 2000, which he recovered from, but had another

stroke in 2005, and became really, really sick. And he went downhill from there.

He lost his vision, partially because when he was working in the pharmacy an ammonia bottle

popped and burned part of his cornea, and his diabetes left him blind. He couldnt eat on his own

either. But my grandmother said he never complained and she would shake him and beg him to

tell her what was hurting. But his response was theres nothing to tell, Im okay. He spent his

last three years in bed. My family came back from a vacation in the Cayman Islands to see him,

my uncle Mike came back with his family from a vacation in Europe, and my grandma said and

then he waited for Uncle Nick [and his family] to come back from his vacation at the beach, and

then I think he decided thats it, I saw everybody so Im gonna go. She paused, teary eyed and

then said, so he did. My grandfather passed away on August 1, 2009.

As the interview ended, she told me thank you for coming by, and the right afterwards

she said can I fix you something [to eat]? The most selfless woman I have ever met. And my

grandfather was a humble man. He was so wise and positive. There is so much more I could have
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added in here, but I saved some of the details for the privacy of my family. And I could go into

my memories, but I think Ill save that for another time, so you can really see the amazing people

my grandparents were and are. I couldnt be prouder to be a Zarzar, and will forever admire both

of my grandparents for all they overcame, and yet somehow remained so positive through it all.

Works Cited

Zarzar, Doris. Personal Interview. 22 Apr. 2017.

Zarzar, Nakhleh P. N.d.