Self-Love

Learn How To Love Yourself,

Gain Self Confidence, Self
Esteem And Start Living
Your Life

Written By
Sterling Preston
Sterling Preston
Copyright © 2019 Sterling Preston
All rights reserved.
This document is geared towards providing exact and
reliable information.in regards to the topic and issue
covered. The publication is sold with the idea that the
publisher is not required to render accounting, officially
permitted, or otherwise, qualified services. If advice is
necessary, legal or professional, a practiced individual in
the profession should be ordered.

From a Declaration of Principles which was accepted and

approved equally by a Committee of the American Bar
Association and a Committee of Publishers and
Associations. In no way is it legal to reproduce, duplicate,
or transmit any part of this document in either electronic
means or in printed format. Recording of this publication
is strictly prohibited and any storage of this document is
not allowed unless with written permission from the
publisher. All rights reserved.

The information provided herein is stated to be truthful

and consistent, in that any liability, in terms of inattention
or otherwise, by any usage or abuse of any policies,
processes, or directions contained within is the solitary
and utter responsibility of the recipient reader. Under no
circumstances will any legal responsibility or blame be
held against the publisher for any reparation, damages, or

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monetary loss due to the information herein, either

directly or indirectly.

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Table of Contents
Introduction ......................................................................... 5
Chapter 1 - Self-Love: What It Is? Why It Is Needed? ...... 7
Chapter 2 - The Importance Of Self-Love ........................ 22
Chapter 3 - Ways By Which You Can Indulge In Self-
Love ......................................................................................31
Chapter-4: The ways thru which you can involve yourself
in Self-love .......................................................................... 60
Chapter 5 - Overcoming Struggles .................................... 90
Chapter 6 - Laws Of Self-Love ........................................ 100
Chapter 7 – The Importance of Achieving Your
Dreams .............................................................................. 104
Chapter 8 – Why Pleasing Everyone Else is a Fast Track to
Unhappiness ...................................................................... 114
Chapter 9 – The Art of Saying “No”................................. 119
Chapter 10 – A Hot Topic – Body Image ........................127
Chapter 11 - Tips To Practice Self-Love .......................... 136
Chapter 12 – Applying Self-Love At All Times ............... 151
Final Chapter – “I Love Myself.” .................................... 156
Conclusion ........................................................................ 162

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Introduction

Self-consciousness is an art which sometimes

astoundingly directs you towards 'An alchemist' of your
inside and this quest steers you towards 'self -Love'
eventually. This is the reason that world have
been deprived of all those best singers who didn't sing but
buried along with their songs because they didn't know
and love their selves consequently. For an instance, if i say
you to enlist all those personnel to whom you love the
most. Then analyses the time, you take to write your own
name in this list. Now, to be very honestly, answer me a
question," if you yourself are placing yourself in least
priorities then how can it would be possible that others will
love you on superiorities." Yes, it happens only because
you don't know Yourself.
To attain the others attention and love, first you had to love
the man inside of you.

If you want to love yourself but you're feeling difficulty,

then you're at right place. This book will lead you to love
yourself and to be like shining start you really are thru a
systematic way.
The
Now, it's time to start a most defining journey of your life.
Before loving anyone else or obtaining anything

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productive you must be acknowledged with the self-love.

By doing this you would be able to realize that overall
preview of life is brighter. You'll be optimistic, more
confident, and hence will be more open to welcome love
into your life.
So, Relax and be ready to take a journey of self-discovery
towards the destiny, ‘the ability to love yourself'.

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Chapter 1 - Self-Love: What It Is?

Why It Is Needed?

Before proceeding this book, first we people need to know

that what is self-love is actually? Because if we people don't
know that what's self-love and why we are trying to achieve
it then you have no chance to attain your goal(destination)
It's basically a regard, a feeling and affection which
someone share for himself. There isn't any person in the
universe who loves himself which is perhaps a good thing.
Loving yourself in a healthy and natural way is far better
than loving yourself in egoistic and arrogant way but
somehow both have a sharp segregation line. Every man
has at least one such thing which he doesn’t like about
himself, but he must balance it by knowing your unique
and creative plus point which only come out thru self-
loving in natural way.
Self-Ranking and Self Love
It's is almost a natural phenomenon of men's society that
we have divided the community into a pecking order. No
one wants to feel inferior than other classes but whenever
they consider their particular class as inferior one then
definitely, they their feeling of inferiority complex arose. It
deteriorates to their sense of self love and thus they can't
love their selves.

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However, this inborn instinct to comparing one another

can assist or resist. It assists in a way that when we rank
ourselves professionally, economically and even on the
number of achievements then we become able to opt our
leaders, hunters and even servants of different species of
animal Kingdom (human beings)
Why you need to love yourself.
Until or unless you aren't familiar with the importance of
self-love, you'll not be willing to put effort into loving
yourself inevitably. So, for the sake of putting of your entire
efforts into the art 'loving yourself', I'm going to talk about
the crux that why it's needed to indulge in self-love which
will direct you calmly towards our aim.
Improve your confidence
Self-confidence is a most attractive quality a person can
have, and it is confidence in our bodies, minds, and spirits
that allows us to keep looking for new adventures. In our
routine life, there are many challenges come upon you in
order to check you that either you handle them or not in an
appropriate way. Confidence isn't about egotism rather a
gentle confidence surely come inside of you but shines thru
your relationships, comrades and colleagues indeed.
Confidence boosts up by loving yourself and it happens
when you know and love your abilities.

Before we proceed with the book and take you through the
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different steps of how to excel in the art of self-love, you

need to be well-versed with some of the key dynamics
pertaining to what self-love is all about. If you don’t have
the first clue what self-love is, and you have no idea why
you are looking to achieve it, then you have no hope of ever
arriving at that destination. If however you understand
exactly what the topic is about, you are opening up your
mind to achieving it yourself. Self-love is essentially the
regard which someone has for themselves, basically the
kind of feeling and the affection that you share for yourself.
In order to help you ascertain whether or not you love
yourself and if it is ample, I am going to share a
questionnaire with you. It’s worth noting at this point that
there isn’t one person on this planet who is completely and
utterly in love with themselves, and that is probably a good
thing – there is a fine line between loving yourself in the
most natural and healthy way, and loving yourself in an
arrogant way; every single person has something about
themselves which they don’t like, and whilst that is normal,
it’s important to balance all of that out with the things you
love about yourself too, e.g. your shining plus points.

Your job here is to dutifully and honestly answer the

different questions, as this short survey will act like a real
assessment of how much you truly love yourself and the
kind of improvement that you really need. If you can

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identify your trouble hotspots, you can get to work on them

much easier than if you have no clue where to start.

 Do you hold yourself responsible for the

troubles you often face?

 Do you loathe who you are as a person?

 Do you regret who you are?

 If you were given a chance to be born again,

would you like to be born as yourself?

 What is your definition of self-love?

 Do you tend to love others ways more than how

you love yourself?

 Do you suffer from body image issues?

 Are you short on confidence?

 Do you take good care of yourself?

 Do you approve of yourself? Is the approval of

others more important to you?

 Do you give yourself credit when you do well?

 Does the thought of failure make you feel less

worthy?

 How would you rate your self-esteem?

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 In terms of priority, how far down the list do you

place yourself?

 Do you do everything for other people, and not

much for yourself?

 Have any of your past relationships been

extremely successful? If not, why not?

 How many things about your personality do you

love?

 How many things about your appearance do you

love?

 If someone gives you a compliment, do you take

it, or do you bat back with a deflecting
comment? E.g., if someone says “oh you look
really slim in that dress”, do you say “thanks”, or
do you say “oh it’s because it’s black, black is
slimming”?

 Do others treat you the way you wish they

would?

These are some questions which will give you a fair idea of
whether or not you love your own self. You do not need me
to explain to you what the answers mean, because these are
part of your personal journey; generally speaking, negative
is bad, and positive is good, you don’t need to be a brain

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surgeon to figure that out. The questions in themselves are

self-explanatory and they will help you have a clear idea
regarding how much work needs to be put in for the sake
of loving who you are as a person. This is a journey which
is worth every single step, so make sure you do it justice
and be as honest as you can be, even if it is down to being
painfully honest.

Basically, self-love is mainly pertaining to being honest

about who you are and to be happy with your choices. You
should not loathe your own personality, you should be
accepting of who you are and with the right kind of
changes, you will be able to enjoy your personality, and
allow others to appreciate it too.

Why do we need self-love?

Now when I am sure that you understand better what self-

love is, this is the perfect time to tell you about importance
of self-love. The point is that you can only give 100% to that
project which is very clear and understood it in depth. If
you don’t understand the point of something, you’re not
going to give it your level best.

These are the basic reasons that compel me to talk about

some of the major factors regarding why you need to
indulge in self-love. Right reasons lead you to right results
and give you the desired rewards you wish to attain at

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some level. When you have right reasons about the desired
self-love you will advance towards success with rapid pace
and this the destination we are targeting.

1.Increase your level of confidence

When you understand the logic behind self-love, you will

find reasons for it. Here is the advance step that excel your
confidence sky high when you are in love with yourself.
There are a lot of different challenges which life will throw
in your way. Life is full of challenges and hurdles, only way
to survive and win the race is to be confident and handle
those challenges in appropriate manner. To be Confidence
you do not have to be about persevering, gentle Confidence
is to believe yourself, and this shines through to other
people, be it in a relationship, a friendship, or in a working
situation. A confident person is happier person, and a
happier person is a more eye catching person overall.

Loving yourself will make you confident and you will start
feeling better. The rule is simple, love yourself, when you
are successful in self love you will feel happier than ever
and this ability will make you much more positive in your
abilities. Confidence is needed in every aspect of life and
by choosing to love yourself, you will be able to cherish the
benefits of confidence in the up future. It’s correct that
many incidents in life can hamper our confidence down a
little, and this is absolutely normal, but it should only be

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as short as a short movie trailor and you must change the

channel to recover quickly

2.Feel better

It is important that you must understand the fact that

beauty comes in Cans I can, you can, we can. There are so
many people who are fighting body issues are every day.
This increases stress about their own body type, and it
becomes hard to love their own body. That is the reason
why you need to learn the art of Self love and you will start
a new journey to a much more positive world.

Modern day Social media like Facebook, Twitter,

Instagram doesn’t help us in this regard. We are regularly
being bombarded with pictures of the ‘Super fit Body’
beach body, or the ‘perfect’ size 10 figure, but the bottom
line is that nobody is perfect. Those images you see in
social media and on the TV have probably been air-
brushed, Photo shopped, or they use filters to enhance the
beauty effect! Just a simple step can get you through this
modern Media beauty war and that is Avoid comparisons
at all costs. On top of this, just because someone has a so-
called ‘perfect’ body, it doesn’t mean they are happy with
who positions inside – you never know how someone is
feeling or what they are going through until you have
walked in their shoes!

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3.Better productivity

There is no doubt about the fact that when you choose to

love yourself, you will find better productivity. Those who
are contented in their own place and position, are likely to
offer full focus and concentration to their jobs. This is the
basic reason why people can improve productivity and
enjoy their daily routine.

Look at it this way, if you are not feeling well with your
confidence, body issues, self-assurance issues, and you
basically don’t like yourself very much, are you going to
wake up every day with a fresh mind and pride in your step,
a will to tick off every item on your to do list? Probably not.
If you can learn to love yourself then you are happier, and
happier people are motivated, productive, and they
achieve success in different aspects of their lives.

4.Find reasons for Harmonious life

There are too many people who are fighting against issues
of self-destruction and depression. When you can love
yourself, you will feel how pleasant-sounding life will be.
These little changes can trigger the right kind of reaction
in your body and this is likely to bring in the much-needed
positive change as well. We all need peace of mind and
harmony and in order to achieve that, you will have to look
out for reasons by which your inner soul is at peace. This

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is why you need to ensure that you can fall in love with
yourself.

Feeling contented is a delightful feeling; you do not need

to be someone with very high success rate or anyone with
extraordinary spiritual powers, you just need to be
yourself. you can simply be happy in your own life and in
your own skin, and feeling content is a tuneful way to live.
Battling issues in your own mind about how you feel, as
well as trying to defeat your emotions every day, does not
make you feel poised or happy, however if you can attain a
degree of self-love, you won’t have these issues to battle
with.

5.Happiness

It the end, we all know very well that each of us wishes to

be happy and relax. Learn the art of happiness in your life
and enjoy a joyful life. If you cannot enjoy happiness in
your life, nothing is ever going to work out and this will
create a lot of disturbance for you.In simple words,
happiness is not outside its inside yourself. You must select
happiness because it isn’t going to fall into your lap
without a little effort and a change of mindset. Happiness
springs from your inner-self and you have to make sure
that you can love your own self in order to give you the best
possible chance to feel happy overall.

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When you are in love with the person who actually you are,
it will help you choose happiness and this, in turn, can
bring you a lot of exultation as well. You can never be
happy unless you are pleased with your actual position.
Whoever you are be contented in it because if you start
dangerous comparisons you will also breed negative
emotions such as greed, jealousy and anger. This is not a
pleasant or helpful road to go down.

6.Self Approval

When you have a powerful sense of self love, you learn to

admire yourself. Your worries and things that bother you
will disappear in the bright light of self -compassion and
What used to bother you and make you feel uneasy
evaporates in the face of true self compassion and
acceptanc. Do you know one of the biggest reasons for
failures in the world is that people with different ideas and
unique plans do not implement them because of they are
worried about other people that what they will think about
it. In the pursuit of happiness and love you do not need to
list others above yourself. In a world where many people
forsake joy based on what others think of them, you will be
free and much more bright by the uplifting spirit of self
love. Self love will give you a lifelong advantage and higher
self esteem that is not dependent upon the approval and
praise of others.

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These are some of the key pleasant surprises to put you on

the right way towards achieving self-love, as well as
helping you to understand the core concepts of self-love
too. Only way to achieve some goals in this field is to test
your skills, put an effort in and give your level best. Having
said that, you are reading this book and you have got this
far, so you must be committed to achieve that destination
mark!

You are Not Alone

One of the most important things that you must remember
on your race to developing greater self love is that “You are
not alone”. There are people all around you, some you may
like to chat with, and others that you may simply pass by,
who are struggling to love themselves more and treat
themselves as worthy individuals deserving of happiness.

Interestingly, when two people who are not good with their
self-love, enter into a close relationship of any kind like
(romance, social, business) those feelings of inferiority
complex tend to increase. All those spouses who are not in
love with themselves may find it difficult to show affection
towards their partner, thus argue and anger prevail the
house when partner is not up to the standards, they expect
him/ her to be. In the Office or in ground, those who lack

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self love may underperform regularly, or choose to

doggedly undermine and compete with others to validate
themselves through success. Same is the case with social
life, friends and colleagues with a lack of self love may
regularly look towards each other for approval and
supporting their silently hurt egos.
This concept is capable to bring a very positive change in
your lives and the lives of people who are around you, but
the theory is difficult to understand as most of the people
are captivated by their own feelings. The positive change is
only one step away, you just must start loving yourself. The
process is easy, you must realize that you cannot escape
yourself. You can change your car, change friends, your
house, friends or even your girl friend but the only thing
you cannot change is to live with yourself.
There is no escaping You as long as you are breathing. The
art of Self Love may take time if you have started watching
yourself from others point of view, as we all know that
other judgments are harsh and negative most of the times
to destruct your feelings. Sometimes harshly spoken words
can affect your soul and if you accept them, they could
affect you in long term. Don’t worry, start new chapter of
self-love and erase all negativity created by others. The
only thing that matters is You because you are responsible
for your bright future and happy life.
So, my advice to you before proceeding further with this

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book is to first change your mind that you really need to

indulge in self-love.You must understand that nothing can
change around you if you do not change yourself. This
change will only come if your desire to love yourself is at
its peak and you truly understand the importance of self-
love. When you are successful in making your mind up,
resolute and firm in your decision, I assure you that there
is whole new world waiting for you. The world with
success, happiness, and full of joyfulness. There will be no
more hurdles in your way because you have started
supporting the right person and that is yourself.

Once you have made up your mind, the rest of it should fall
into place automatically. So, read these points time and
again until you can clearly understand why it is important
for you to indulge in self-love; it’s perfectly fine if you need
to go over certain sections within this book a few times
before it really does click in your mind, because it’s not an
exact science. Every single person has different thoughts,
and the way you understand things may not be same as
some of the other people. Once you are clear with basic
sections of this book and you understand them completely
you can move on to nest chapters of this book. My advice
is that you must give yourself the time and space required
to take out the essence of this book. When this will happen,
you will be clear in your mind about the benefits of that

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time you spend reading and understanding it.

Learning to change your mind-set can feel difficult at the

beginning but believe me its not a complicated thing, it is
as simple as 1,2, 3. Having said that, with some simple
steps we will be listing here, you will be able to improve
and polish your skills. And you should succeed in loving
yourself lot more than what you are used to doing in past.

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Chapter 2 - The Importance Of

Self-Love

Now when You know the reasons as to why you need to

indulge in self-love, but here is a question that may raise
in your mind that if self-love is so very important than why
there is so much ambiguity in this regard? Why there is so
much fuss about self-love. You must know the correct
answer because if you don’t hold it in high regard, and you
don’t understand the reasons for its importance, then you
are not going to pay it too much time and attention.

I know you are eager to know the answer and solve this
query. Here is the solution, of all your questions about
importance of self-love. I will be talking about the kind of
importance that self-love has. Those who are capable of
loving themselves can achieve a lot of great things, and you
need to be able to open your eyes to these possibilities in
order to be determined to move forward with your journey
to self-love. If you can love another person, that should be
sufficient, right? This is a question many people ask, but
it’s really not simply about loving others. Why is there a
need to love your own self? Let us take a look at the
different ways you can benefit from being someone who
loves themselves to the correct degree.

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1.Life becomes beautiful

A beautiful life is a dream that everyone wants to come

true. As we all know nothing can be achieved without
putting up an effort. When your focus is on making your
life beautiful, you must put in the effort. There are people
who get depressed at a little incident , and such people find
it very difficult to adjust to different situations in daily life.
When you are someone from a group of self-loving men
who love their inner beauty, you will be able to feel the real
peace of mind and happiness. You will be a changed person
from someone who is constantly struggling and pulling
themselves down.

2.An optimistic outlook

You will see a positive change in your inner self When you
are choosing to be one of self-loving people. Love the
internal beauty which is present in your soul, you will feel
how the optimism in you can improve too. Someone who
accepts life with open arms and open heart can often reap
bigger benefits of life with bigger and wide range of
opportunities in future. We all know positivity is beautiful
especially when you compare it with negativity. Life is
always more beautiful than ever when its surrounded by
positive minds and positive minds are fed only by positive

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thoughts. When your mind is positive before approaching

any task in your life the job becomes easy to accomplish.
History tell us that all those men who are positive and they
are contented with who they are and are happy just being
themselves can enjoy in almost all aspects of their life. As
they say positivity breeds further positivity.

3.Less Stress and Problems

People who enjoy self-love and compassion generally
experience less stress, anxiety and other problems through
their lives. When you are not sure about , who you are and
low with self-love, it is easier to become anxious on your
physical appearance, achievements, the amount of income
you make, the reactions of someone else, or you possessed
of other concerns and intricacies that arise during the day.
Lake of self-love is one of the biggest reasons of anger,
anguish and agitation. Those who lack self compassion
often take things too personal because they are always
judging, evaluating, or being hard on themselves. When
the results are not in your favor due to any reason a
stronger level of anxiety and stress occurs. People with low
level of self-love may blame themselves for results and
outcomes even if their actual words or actions had
absolutely nothing to do with it. When you don't feel
comfortable and satisfied with yourself, it becomes much
easier to lash out at anyone who offends, upsets, or

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disappoints you in any way.

As a fact lack self-love can make an individual perceive
offenses or put downs that may not even exist. For
example, while another person may be looking at you and
thinking “ Her eyes are very beautiful ”, or “He is his smile
”, you may be worried about others gawking at your big
nose on your face, or thinking that you look old in this
dress or too skinny in the same outfit that another adores.
Greater self love helps you give your 100% in all aspects of
your life. When you master the art of self-love you will feel
a positive change in your daily perspective and how you
treat others
4.Great company

People who are well versed with the art of self-love are
proven to be great companions. This will help you feel
comfortable. When you are in the company of those who
know how to love themselves you will feel better than
before because they show you the best of everything. So,
you want to be happy than choose them as friends because
they are wonderful people with positivity enriched in their
minds and souls and are ready to teach you self-love too.
No one likes to spend time with boring people everyone
loves to be around someone who is positive and really
appreciates who he is. Being loved is great but who knows
you better than yourself?

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5.Improved confidence

Confident people always perform better than all those who

are not good to handle their personality in a correct
manner. Just take it simply when you are confident and
positive in your approach in your office and you are ready
to take on any challenges. You will complete all
assignments in time, complete tasks designated to you and
everyone around you will also feel the effects of your
positive and confident personality. Self-love is one of the
major reasons of confidence. Yes, there is a fact that you
can not feel happy all the time but you need to force smile
on your face and attempt to be positive, as a result your
confidence will shine through your face.Those who have no
body issues and are extremely happy with their inner-self
are always going to enjoy the best levels of confidence; and
whilst you might think it’s impossible to have no body
issues or problems with yourself at all, it’s really about
perspective. understanding that whilst you might not have
the six packs or blue eyes, who cares? There are bigger
issues on the planet than your falling hair or big belly! Deal
with them in a confident manner and that is only possible
if you love yourself.

6.Greater Success
People who have accepted the gift of self-love by making a
firm commitment to do so have greater success in their

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lives. They are much more successful than any of their co-
workers who not well versed with the art of self-love. When
you are good at loving yourself, you will experience high
rate of success as it brings higher self-esteem and higher
confidence levels. People who love themselves aren't afraid
to run the extra mile to reach the victory stand, because
they feel that they deserve it. When you trust your abilities
and feel confident in your abilities you can do anything in
your life and achieve any goals you set for yourself. The
only difference between a successful man and unsuccessful
man is that victorious people never give up. Failures and
setbacks are a part of life and those who continue their
journey despite all these speed breakers are always
supposed to reach the destination. This is what self-belief
can do to your confidence and self-belief is only possible if
you love your-self.
When you feel that you deserve the best in life, you are
more likely to attain it. Going after success because you feel
worthy has the power to totally transform your life. This
also effects the lives of those who area around you and
interact with you.
7.Pass it On
Now when you are fully able to understand the paybacks of
self-love you will be able to pass its to pass it on to others.
Learning the lessons of self love will give a positive feeling
that is reflected in the your surroundings wherever you are

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in office or home. Spreading this self-love cloud to others

is quite easy to implement. You just need to be very kind to
them, say kind hearted words to cheer them up, treat them
fairly, and be motivated and a source of motivation for
others. This is the transitional period, if you are successful
in changing yourself with the help of self-love, you will see
an increased rate of influence in your family, friends,
neighbors, and even strangers. This is just the beginning of
new happier, self-motivated world around you.
Unfortunately, if you lack self-love and compassion, there
are chances that your parents or family members would
have the same issues as well. Luckily you don’t have to pass
it on to your children that follows you.
Being parents of children or a guardian of youth, you must
teach them the importance of having self love. Teaching
children how to love themselves is extraordinarily critical
in today's word. If you are successful in passing on this
feeling of self-love into your children, I assure you that
your children will be much more confident than their
school mates. This feeling is never ending process it lasts
forever. When they can understand their worth and
capabilities they will seek for relationships and companies
equally talented and confident young men who validate
their sense of self-love. Their performance in difficult
times and tough conditions would be better because they
will value their personalities and have better control over

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their actions. The world can be harsh but children with

better understandings of self-love can perform
wonderfully well as compare to some of their companions
who are not blessed with this great gift.
These are the best ways by which self-love can benefit you.
Yes, it’s true that this is not a gift which you can attain
immediately , you will have to adopt hundreds of different
things and techniques to master the art. But I assure you
this is possible with the help of will power and giving
yourself right amount of time.

But, once you exactly know about your capabilities

regardless of who you are , which position you are working
at, your bank balance, and any other thing that is
comparable to others, you start loving and improving your
inner shine. Some of you may be a bit worried at this stage
but no need to do so. Now we will talk about the simple and
systemic methods which will help you excel in the art of
self-love and it is a guarantee. I Most of you would be eager
to know the trick behind it. For now, the trick here is to
know that you should not rush things too much; adopt
proper procedures and adopt thing according to system.
Be patient in all your actions because this will improve
your abilities as a person.

Before you proceed further in this book, just find a peaceful

place and close your eyes for a moment and take a deep

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breath to inhale a lot of oxygen. Just think that you are

awesome and all the positivity in the world is getting inside
your body with that inhale. Now tell yourself loudly that
you are awesome and believe in your own words. It may
take some time for belief to sink in and you must wait for
it to happen. Go outside, somewhere nobody is going drive
a car or a cool place where you can do whatever you like,
open your arms wide, look up to the sky and shout it! Tell
yourself how amazing you are! Believe your words. Feel all
that self-belief is increasing and self-doubt and worry seep
away. Realize yourself that you are really important,
amazing and unique in your own way. When you do so, it
will set the right foundation for the rest of the steps to be
executed into action. As I told you it takes time to belief
yourself, but you must Give yourself the right amount of
time to make the adjustment and let yourself fall in love
with yourself. Adopt the things step by step and trust me,
you will love both the effort and the final result.

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Chapter 3 - Ways By Which You

Can Indulge In Self-Love

Now that you know why self-love is so important, I am

going to share the details of how you can work on self-love.
When you are looking to improve how much you love
yourself, there are a lot of different things which you need
to do.

Radical Self Love, and You

With such a changing world that we live in that is so
judgemental, competitive, and can even be cruel at times,
radical self-love is necessary to be healthy in the various
types of environments that exist on earth. Having radical
self-love means that you love yourself no matter what is
happening, what you have accomplished, or even if you
have done something wrong. It is important to have radical
self-love so that you are not dependent on someone else
loving you and approving of you.
It can be comforting to know that someone else cares and
approves of you, but it is not necessary for you to love
yourself. This is a fact that you must allow to get down in
your system and your soul if you want to receive true
happiness and grow in self-love in an incredible way. For
anyone who has spent their lives neglecting themselves,
they are not truly loving themselves. Behind closed doors

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and in the recesses of your mind, loving yourself in a

radical way no matter what can seem scary, crazy, or even
impossible at times. What is wonderful about radical self-
love is that if you have always struggled with your self-
esteem, it can dramatically transform the way you see
yourself and the rest of the life you have. Take the step to
love yourself radically, come into control, and change your
life forever.
The Power of Reinvigorating Yourself
When you are trying to grow a stronger sense of self love,
looking your best at all times makes you feel better. The
fact is people who love themselves enjoy taking good care
of their bodies. They do now wait until they are nearly
falling out from being overburdened for weeks,
months,and even years on end. Take good care of yourself
means watching out for your health, working out to stay in
shape, and eating foods that nourish your body instead of
weighing it down.
There are a great number of people that take time to take
care of other people and tend to their families, but never
spend any real time on themselves. If you are struggling in
the area of self love, this is not an action that you want to
continue to take. Not taking care of you means that you
devalue yourself on some level. There must be balance in
order to be happiness. It is nothing wrong with caring for
others, but there comes a time when you must care for

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yourself as just as much as you care for other people. You

have a responsibility take care of you and pamper yourself
sometimes, or you will start to feel neglected inside and
look neglected on the outside. Never cheat yourself out of
good and fair treatment, because you will know. When you
cheat yourself by not honoring your body and taking care
of it, it causes you to have low self esteem and affects self-
love- whether you know it immediately or not. You are a
person too and you are just as important as anyone else,
and always remember that.
There are many ways that you can start pampering
yourself and reinvigorating yourself today. Here are some
ways that you can show yourself a little more love and
boost your sense of awareness:
 Take time to relax. Too many people never give
themselves ample time to relax and recover from
the day's duties and stresses. If you want to treat
yourself better, you must take the time out to relax
everyday. Relaxation makes you healthier, and
more apt to face the day struggles and the new day
ahead of you with a fresh perspective.
 Give yourself a breather. Did you know that taking
the time to breathe is significant for you health? It
is easy to take shallow breaths throughout the day
instead of taking the time to breathe deeply. When
you breathe shallow breaths, you can forget to

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deeply breathe and make yourself tired and less

active in many ways. When we become anxious for
any reason, you are more likely to take short
breaths. In fact, it can make you feel more tired,
even if you are not. You can start by breathing in for
ten seconds, holding the breath in for ten seconds,
and then slowly release it for a final ten seconds.
Aim to breathe down into your abdomen when you
are completing this exercise. Doing this on a regular
basis throughout the day can help you stay
distressed and calm, even when circumstances may
dictate otherwise.
 Meditate daily. Meditation is a very powerful way
that you can relax yourself, free your mind of
thought pileup, and avoid becoming
overstressed.When we do not give ourselves time to
properly think and clear the mind, it can result in
higher levels of stress that can't be damaging to our
sense of self love and overall stability. Science has
proven that stress is one of the chief causes of
creating disease and disorder in the human
condition. With this revelation, the importance of
meditation for stress relief cannot be understated.
Some people prefer to pray or chant doing
meditational periods, while others simply prefer to
sit in the silence. No matter what your choice

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method is for meditation, engaging in this process

on a regular basis can help you maintain a clear
mind set and place things in better perspective.
 Perform exercise daily. A stagnant body can lead to
stagnancy in the mind. When you are trying to
reprogram your thoughts for self love, it is
beneficial to keep your body agile. When you engage
your body and mind and physical activity, the
results can be astounding. On your path to higher
self love, participating in a consistent exercise
routine can truly help you remain healthy for life.
 Aromatherapy can help you. The art of
aromatherapy has been used for thousands of years
by cultures all over the world. With the help of the
most compatible scents of the moment, you can
manipulate your emotions and alter your mood
immediately. Aromatherapy as one of the ancient
are that allows you to affect your body by using
powerful scents. You can use lavender and
chamomile to help yourself rest better at night as
well. If you like energy, scents like cinnamon,
cypress, sage, peppermint, and spiced apple can
perk you up. Bergamot, rose, jasmine, frankincense,
sandalwood, myrrh, and lemon verdana can ease
the pangs of depression and anxiety.
 Try showering or bathing. Relaxing in the bath and

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using Epsom salts or aromatherapy candles can be

a powerful way to relieve yourself and pamper your
body. While you are bathing, playing relaxation
music or instrumental tunes can help you feel
better, no matter what has transpired throughout
the day. While some may feel comfortable soaking
in the tub for hours, it is not necessary to
reinvigorate your body. You can also use your
shower to do a similar method. One way of doing so
it's a shower for a third of the time in hot to warm
water. For about 30 seconds, switch to a colder
temperature of water. After this period is up, switch
back to the warm water setting for a few minutes.
Repeat the process. This switch uniquely provides a
light shock to the system that can be comforting and
de-stressing. By altering the temperature of the
water back and forth, you can literally awaken your
body and refresh yourself in a powerful way.
 Get some fresh air in nature. If you are struggling
with any type of negative emotions, taking a walk to
get some fresh air can be a great way to relieve your
stress. Remaining indoors can be especially
debilitating to people who are depressed, grieving,
and sad. As a matter of fact, these feelings can cause
you to stay indoors and shy away from going outside
and encountering other people. However, this

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method is the opposite of healing. You can perk

yourself up by gawking at the beauty of nature and
simply walking outside and interacting with others.
 Reward yourself. Often we are quick to notice how
others are doing well, but we are less than likely to
applaud ourselves. It is important to take the time
to reward yourself here and there if you want to feel
better and show yourself some love. The reward
does not have to be expensive in order to be
effective in your life. You may want to treat yourself
to a special dinner, a glass of wine, or you may
decide to do something major for yourself, like visit
the spa or massage parlor. When you achieve long
term goals, you may want to even go on a fun
vacation, or buy yourself a luxurious gift.
Purchasing a special gift for yourself for a job well
done can do wonders for making you feel super,
because you are taking the time to acknowledge
yourself in a noticeable way. When you do this, it
can make you feel better for every stage of goal
accomplishment.
The methods of indulging in self love does not stop here.
Next, I am going to give you a systematic list of things you
need to work on, as this will help you improve who you are
as a person and the kind of benefits which you can reap by
being a much more positive and confident person as a

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result.

1.Always start Positive

The way you start your day is really important. You have to
be sure that you are putting the right emphasis on starting
your day on a positive note. When you begin your day on a
fresh note, it will help you be much more confident about
the rest of it. So, you have to make it a habit to start
everything on a fresh and positive note, kissing goodbye to
the troubles of yesterday before you close your eyes in the
previous evening, and being thankful for opening your
eyes that morning.

Every morning when you wake up, you need to think of a

positive thing, an affirmation of sorts. When you start with
a positive thought, it infuses the right kind of
understanding in you. The right thought can take you to
places, and whilst some of us find it hard to have a great
first happy thought, over time if you practice it then it will
become much easier. In such cases, you will need to work
on it hard, but nothing good ever comes of things that fall
into our laps easily; things we work hard for are always
worth it.

Think of any kind of memory which brings you happiness.

Chase that thought and let the feeling sink in. When you
let this happen, you will be able to see how a good thought

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attracts a really good day. On top of this, positive

affirmations over time will help you see things in a more
positive light overall, so when you encounter a slightly
irritating problem during the course of your day, you will
be able to overcome it with a shrug, rather than a melt-
down.

2.Morning yoga

Morning yoga is a fantastic way to start the day and focus

your mind for the hours ahead. Yoga is one of the most
beneficial exercises you can do, and it is sure to yield the
right kind of output if you work hard at it. In recent years,
yoga has grown in popularity as a transformational
method for developing stronger health,wellness, and full
body release. There are a lot of people who have opted for
yoga, simply deciding to give it a try, and when they did so,
it brought in a healthy change in a lot of aspects of their
lives, including increased flexibility, better heart function,
more energy, great concentration, and a more positive
outlook on life. You will find people honing their body,
whilst also cleansing negative toxins and harmful energy
at the same time.

When you devote an hour to yoga, it will help you

understand your inner mind. When you want to love
yourself, you will need a calm mind and peaceful
surroundings, which is what makes yoga so perfect. Many

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also consider yoga to be a deeply spiritual activity that

allows you to build deeper connections with yourself. To
start with, try some basic yoga lessons, and when you have
become well-versed with it, it will help you improve the
overall circulation in your mind, as well as in your body.

When you want to love yourself, you will first need to have
a healthy body, because you can’t focus on the positives in
life if your body is not running smoothly. With an
unhealthy body and an unhealthy mind, you won’t be able
to indulge in the right kind of love. However, if you focus
on health and wellbeing, within a month or so, you will be
able to enjoy the key differences in your life.

3.Healthy eating

You should also make it a point to go for healthy eating,

because this will help your overall health and wellbeing,
the way you feel on the inside, boost your energy, and
basically make you feel a whole lot better about everything.
When you are looking to love yourself, your health
assumes gargantuan importance, and you have to ensure
that your diet is designed to give you the best starting
point.

When you are feeling good about your health, your overall
image and positive outlook are going to improve
significantly, you only have to try it for a week or so to feel

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and see the differences. If needed, you could consult a

dietician for help and advice, and even check out some
healthy tips on efficient eating – the Internet is packed
with handy advice and tips on this.

With the right kind of dieting and regulated healthy eating,

you will be able to get the perfect body shape for you; it is
however important to note that what is the perfect shape
and size for you, might not be for someone else – avoid
comparisons! Whilst I do not believe in body shaming, but
it has been seen that those who have a perfect body figure
are a lot more confident overall. Confidence and self-love
go hand in hand and this is why you need to focus on
getting the perfect body shape for you, which will do
wonders for your own personal image, and wellbeing.

4.Journals

It is extremely important to ensure that you can write daily

journals. When you inculcate this habit, it has a lot of
perks. Maintaining journals are going to help you
immensely as you will be able to explore more about your
strength and weakness, and identify any points which need
extra work. If you don’t have a clue where to start with your
journey towards self-love, identifying areas to work on in
this way is the best starting point.

With the right idea about what the strength and weakness

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are, you will be able to enjoy the real concept of self-love.

When you are writing journals, you should mainly reflect
the different events of the day. When you are reflecting on
the events, it will help you know the possible areas of
concern; write down how you felt, what you thought, and
how you think others saw you – this will show you where
you can concentrate your efforts.

When journals are true and reflect the main events of your
day, it will help you cherish the things that have happened
and the things that should not have occurred. With the
right insight into all these details, you will be able to
improve your overall outlook and perception towards life.
Don’t beat yourself up about things that have happened
and the way you felt as you’re writing it however, because
the point of this exercise is to look over and improve, not
give yourself a hard time.

I have seen countless people whose journals helped them

in documenting the whole journey of falling in love with
themselves. Let your journal be the reason for finding out
the key things you love about yourself, whilst also showing
you the areas to target your efforts towards. Sometimes,
the best habits will help you become a better version of
you.

5.Self-help books

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Reading is a great thing. You need to understand that self-

help books can give you a new perspective on life, whilst
offering you help and advice at the same time. There are a
lot of us who are battling hard to find the best ways to fall
in love with ourselves, and when you are trying to
understand the core concepts of self-love, you will need to
go through some of these books for a little background
information, and a few new ways to focus your attention.

There is no dearth of self-help books, you can find them in

all genres and so you need to make it a point to pick the
ones which you will enjoy reading. Do not waste your time
reading books which you won’t enjoy. You can learn a lot
of lessons from the best books, and it’s not hard to find
them either; check out the internet for the greatest range.

So, go through these lessons and learn about how they can
help with some of the key concepts. You should ideally go
on a journey of self-evaluation first of all, as this will give
you a clear picture of how you need to change and what you
need to do to adapt to the changes. With every book you
read, do not just skim the content. Your goal needs to be to
absorb the lessons in an apt manner and to implement
them in a timely way too.

6.Good company

When you are with people, it brings in a lot of changes. So,

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your aim should ideally be to make sure that you can

surround yourself with good people. When you are with
like-minded people, it will help you be sure that you are
thinking the right things. Think about the people in your
life who you always laugh with, the ones who always make
you smile – these are the ones you need to focus your time
with. Now think about the ones who drag you down, the
ones who make you tired simply by being around them;
these are negative people, and these are the ones you
should limit your time with.

There is a famous saying, that a man is known by the

company he keeps. Of course, when you are spending too
much time with someone, their opinion is going to matter
a lot and it will influence who you are as a person too; for
that reason, you need to surround yourself with people
who make you feel good. These people will give you the
much-needed direction in life. Do not rush when it comes
to choosing the people you are with. When you are happy
and surrounded by the right people, you will be able to
enjoy the right company, and so the love you have for
yourself is going to improve by leaps and bounds.

7.Forgiving yourself

I believe that one of the hardest things which you can do is

forgive yourself. There are so many of us who are so busy
doing a lot of things, and not everything is going to work

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out, or happen as you had planned – you need to have

clarity and understanding of this fact. Be mindful of
everything you do, and if you find that you are being too
hard on yourself, you should forgive your inner-self
immediately.

Forgiving oneself needs the right kind of support. If you

hold onto old grudges against yourself, how are you going
to benefit in the future? How will that make you feel good?
It won’t! When you know that brooding over old matters is
not going to help you out, you can begin to identify the old
issues that are dragging you down, forgive yourself, and get
over it, moving onto a brighter and baggage-free future.

Regrets, missed chances and troubles are going to take you

nowhere. So, you have to learn how you can forgive
yourself, Sometimes, doing the simplest of things can help
you forgive your mistakes. Here are a few tips you can
always implement.

• Remember that when you want to move ahead and

achieve something, you will first need to lock the doors on
your past. Make the decision to not let your past define you
in any way today.

• Do not hold on to old stories that carry no meaning. You

need to start afresh when the need arises. As you create
new memories, you can start telling a different story that

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will change how you view yourself from this day forward.

• Forgiving yourself requires a lot of patience and skill.

You have to be sure that you can forgive not just others,
but yourself too.

• Self-love emanates from the need to forgive yourself for

the things that may have happened in the past. Turn the
page in your life, and be willing to see the beauty of the
present moment. When you are willing to let go of all the
things that may have impacted you in the past or can
impact in future, then you will be able to move on.

 Realize that you probably did the best that you

could at the time. When you know how to do better
and realize it is the right choice, then you can do
better.

Remember that here are things you have no control over,

and rather than holding grudges for these, you should
forgive yourself. With these simple tips, you will be able to
forgive yourself and so you can be at peace – you owe
yourself this for your future.

8.Be expressive

Remember, you need to freely express yourself, because if

you keep everything pent up inside, you’re not going to be
able to feel free to either be productive in life, or to love

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yourself either. There is a pressing need to unleash the

truly creative side of yourself, and as an individual, you
may have a lot of creative skills. The idea is to truly find out
which is your best skill and once you are aware of what
your passion is, you should spend time on these skills.
When you are indulging in your creative hobbies you will
be able to freely express yourself and this is going to help
you be yourself; on top of this, you are cultivating
happiness, and we know that being happy is key to feeling
good about yourself.

When people are at ease and are happy with how they are
spending their time, it is going to help them enjoy
themselves. In order to love yourself, you need to be happy
and when you are giving time to your hobbies, you will
surely enjoy the whole thing so much more. As you can see,
it is all linked into one single chain, and you need to
express and enjoy yourself in an apt manner.

9.Seek happiness

Remember that you have to create your own happiness.

Happiness isn’t something which will always come to you,
or something which is given to you. There will be a lot of
times when you will need to find out how to be happy. You
should not try too hard because happiness has to come
naturally to you.

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Ideally, when you think about happiness, what is it that

you truly feel? Do you think that happiness is a feeling
which is really important in life? Are you aware of some of
the ways by which you can create your own happiness?
These little things are extremely important and you need
to pay heed to it. When you are willing to seek happiness,
you will be able to slowly cherish the pleasure which will
emanate out of it.

Here are some simple pointers for you to understand the

true dynamics of how you can seek happiness.

• Happiness is a choice. When you make the choice that

you want to be happy, you will be able to seek it. No matter
what happens in life, you can still choose to be happy and
pursue joy daily.

• Happiness is also a mindset thing. First of all, you need

to train your mind and make it happy. Learn how to train
your mind and find out the best ways by which happiness
will reach out to you.

• Happiness is all about being comfortable in your own

skin. Do not fret about who you are and the kind of life you
have lived. When you are happy about these aspects, it will
help you be a lot more free-minded, and therefore happier
too.

• Happiness can be created when you are willing to make

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the most of life. Consider this life as a gift and make sure
that you cherish it to the fullest. When you are happy about
the life you live, it will allow you to be happy about the
whole thing,

10.Self-introspection

The next thing which you need to do is opt for self-

introspection. You need to reflect on the beauty of the
inner mind. Self-introspection doesn’t necessarily mean
that you are going to think of all the bad things that have
happened to you. When you are looking to spend some
time on self-introspection, you should try and ponder
about the different roads of life.

Self-introspection can be one of the healthiest exercises

and this is why you need to make it a point to devote ample
hours to it. When you are performing self introspection,
these are the steps you need to follow.

• Think of how your day went and the possible

problems and good points.

• Now, spend some time basking in the glory of

happiness that the day has to offer.

• Believe that there will be better tidings in future for

you.

• Think of the areas where you need some

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development and make a list of how you wish to

change it.

• Make a goal sheet wherein you will list down what

you expect from the next day and so on.

• Think about the alternative possibilities of the day,

and what may have happened if you’d done
something differently. How do you feel about those
alternatives? If you like them, how could you
achieve them next time?

• Every day, repeat this exercise and ideally, your

journal should be written based upon these details
and analysis.

With the right and systematic self-introspection, you will

be able to get the drive to love yourself. Loving yourself is
kind of an exercise which is going to take a lot of time. I
have seen umpteen people improve their life simply by
spending the right amount of time on their own self, and
this means being patient, and not expecting too much too
quickly. Don’t become downhearted if it doesn’t happen
overnight, this is a journey which is going to take effort and
time, but it is one which is worth it.

Self-introspection can aid in improving your overall

outlook a great deal. Some of us do it the wrong way and
so you need to be skilled enough to find out how to handle

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it in the way it is supposed to be.

11.Travel

Traveling is considered to be one of the best hobbies and

pastimes. When you spend your time traveling, you should
be able to enjoy the pleasure it will generate. By choosing
to travel, you can unleash your inner feelings, connecting
with the sound of your inner soul. With the right
synchronization, you will be able to cherish the bliss of
your mind. With the perfect travel plans, you will be able
to find what you truly seek, whilst also seeing some
amazing sights at the same time!

Seek the right things and chase the right goals in life – this
should be your mantra. Every time you travel, you will be
able to enjoy the kind of pleasure that it will give you. There
is no dearth of places where you can go, and you can go
alone or even travel in groups. Whatever you decide, you
should go with the flow. When you go all alone, it will help
you rediscover your inner-self. With the right discovery, it
will help you find out who you are and this can give you
more incentives to opt for self-love. If you head off in a
group, you can meet new friends and boost your self-worth
and social life at the same time.

Try to plan various solo trips and visit a wide variety of

places. You don’t always have to go to an exotic place and

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experience a lavish experience. It is of utmost importance

that you travel to the kind of unexpected places that will let
you have a brand new perspective towards your life. It is
not about the destination, sometimes the journey matters
more than anything else. When you are traveling, try to
interact with others and know their story.

The more you will know about them, the more blessed you
will feel. This will make you start looking at the world
around you with a new pair of eyes, and you will feel more
comfortable and will start loving yourself all over again.
Every time you would come back from a trip, you will
realize that you are a brand new person. The change will
be positive and soon you will get addicted to the idea of
traveling and finding yourself all over again. Why do you
think that people head off backpacking, and once they
return they are already planning their next trip? Travel is
contagious and it is addictive – the world is huge, and it is
full of amazing possibilities and experiences; once you feel
proud of yourself for doing one thing, your self-worth is
boosted, you will feel happy, and this kick starts that whole
circle of self-love we have been talking about.

12.Be grateful

Every night, before you go to the bed, don’t forget to count

your blessings. You can’t fall in love with yourself if you
always crave for the things you can never have. Instead of

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seeking for the kind of materialistic things that could be

washed away with the passage of time, try to count the
things that really matter in your life.

You should make yourself understand that unlike things,

people can’t be replaced. If you have the company of good
people in your life, then that should matter more than the
collection of any other thing.

Instead of collecting things, start collecting long-lasting

memories. Create the kind of moments that would stay
with you for the years to come. Spend more time with your
friends and family as it will make you experience
happiness in its most unadulterated form. Try to thank the
universe for giving you such a great life.

If you have good health and can afford all the basic
amenities, you should consider yourself blessed - there are
millions of people in the world who don’t have access to
food, water, or shelter. Instead of focusing on what you
don’t have and how you can get a few things that you like,
try to be grateful for what you already have, and thank the
universe for it.

It doesn’t matter if you are religious, spiritual, or atheist,

everyone can see the universe. Thank the force for being in
your favor. Thank the God that you believe in for giving
you such a beautiful life. The secret of happiness is to be

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grateful. The more you thank the people and the greater
force, the closer you will be to your share of happiness. You
will realize how great your life is and you will stop taking it
for granted. You will find you would rather fall in love with
your life, and you will be happier for the long haul.

13.Stop looking for perfection

One of the main things that stop us from being happy is

that we always try to look for perfection. Most of the people
these days are not able to love themselves because they
don’t accept themselves the way they are. If you want to be
comfortable in your own skin, take the following
suggestions seriously.

 Stop comparing yourself to someone else. Everyone

has their own journey and you can’t get jealous of
someone else, just because they got everything
faster or better than you. Comparisons breed
unhappiness, bitterness, jealousy, and a whole host
of other negative emotions which do us no good
whatsoever.

 Not everything that glitters is gold. People might let

you know that they have a great life, but the chances
are that they could be feeling terrible from inside.
Never compare your choices with others. Every
human being is different and can’t be compared to

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anyone else. Nobody really knows what goes on

behind closed doors.

 Make peace with your own body. You might not like
your skin, your height, your voice, or anything
related to you, just because people around you
might have said something to you when you were a
child. We live in a society that has given us a false
blueprint of perfection. You need to stop changing
yourself in order to look or sound in a particular
way. Stop worrying about what people think of you
and never go with the standard rules of society;
everyone’s idea of beautiful of different, what you
deem to be amazing could be someone else’s idea of
boring!

 Moving on to our next point - no one in this world

can define beauty. It is a subjective term and the
perception of beauty might change from one group
of people to another. They say that beauty lies in the
eyes of the beholder. The next time you see your
own reflection in the mirror, instead of looking at
your flaws, try to see the kind of things you like the
most in you. If you can’t see anything at first, then
look a little deeper. Stare a little harder or even get
a better mirror. Because there is something
beautiful in every one of us and you only need to

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notice it. This could take time, because we are pre-

programmed to see negatives, simply because that
is the way we have developed over time, but as you
look harder and look for longer, you will start to see
the glittering positives much easier.

 There is no such thing as perfection. Everyone

around you is flawed – including you, and you know
what, that is absolutely fine! The most beautiful
things in this world are always broken and even if
you are imperfect, it doesn’t mean that you are not
beautiful. Don’t hide your imperfections or cover
your flaws. Wear them gracefully and never be
apologetic about them. Your imperfection makes
you who you are and never try to change yourself to
please someone else. Never try to fit in or act in a
certain way because you think that is how
perfection should be.

Forget about attaining perfection and be as much natural

as you can. Don’t hide with the layers of masquerade that
you might wear to have a perfect image, accept that there
is nothing wrong with being who you are. If someone
doesn’t appreciate you, then it is not your problem. Stop
bringing a change in you only to please someone else. You
are who you are and that should be more than enough –
sing it loud and sing it proud, “I am what I am!”

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14.Find happiness in your company

If you want to love yourself, then sooner or later you need

to find peace in loneliness. You can’t expect anyone else to
truly understand you before accepting who you are. It is
always a good thought to surround yourself with the
people you love, but every once in awhile, you need to
make some time for yourself.

Maintain your own space and don’t let anyone else invade
it. Every day, do something for yourself. It could be either
reading a thoughtful book, watching your favorite series,
or even taking yourself out for a dinner date. There is no
harm in spending some time with yourself, because that is
exactly how you would get to know you.

The process of getting to know yourself is often harder

than knowing someone else, as you might protect your
inner self with various layers. People are just like onions
and in order to know who you really are from the core, you
need to peel yourself one layer at a time. You’ve got to do
it by spending some time alone in order to know who you
really are, and if you find it hard to spend time alone, then
do it in baby steps, and don’t dedicate large chunks of time
to isolation.

On top of this, don’t depend on someone else to make you

happy. Always be open to the idea of love, but stop chasing

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your fairytale romance to get your happy ending. If you are

meant to have your “forever and for always”, then it will
come to you at its own pace. Don’t allow anyone else to play
with your feelings, and instead be strong and confident.

There are a lot of people out there who find it hard to

remain alone. You might need to take it one step at a time.
After a while, you will certainly get addicted to your own
company and will soon realize that loneliness can let you
achieve sheer bliss at times. Never hesitate to be alone and
stop chasing for people or things. If it’s meant to happen,
it will take place on its own course. Meanwhile, you can
always find happiness by being alone.

15.Don’t let your life get monotonous

Attaining self-love is one thing, but retaining it in the long

haul is a completely different story. In order to make sure
that you fall in love with yourself every single morning, you
need to keep reinventing yourself. Life can become
monotonous at times and you might start losing your
charm. Convert your mundane life into something magical
and keep experimenting with yourself to retain that sheer
bliss in your life.

When was the last time you did something for the first
time? You need to really ask yourself this question to figure
out how badly you want self-love. You need to crave for it

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and in order to get it, you are required to make an effort.

Don’t just drag yourself through life, live each and every bit
of your life to its best.

Always be excited to live and welcome every morning with

a smile on your face. Be grateful to have your own company
and keep reinventing yourself with the passage of time.
Have no regrets and create everlasting memories on the
go. This might sound difficult to do every single day of your
life, but it doesn’t have to be something huge every single
time, it can be as simple as trying to cook a new dish for
dinner one night, or starting a new book that you always
wanted to read, but never got the time. Small baby steps
add up to huge leaps.

Now when you already know how to find self-love, we are

sure that the road won’t be that bumpy. Concentrate on
every aspect that was discussed earlier in this chapter and
give it a thought. You are not supposed to rush. Take it one
step at a time in order to fall in love with yourself in the
most effortless manner.

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Chapter-4: The ways thru which

you can involve yourself in Self-
love

Until now you came to know that why self-love is

important. Now, I'm going to tell you that how you'll get
involve yourself in it and in meantime when you'll be
looking at how much you love yourself then there are
multiple things which you need to know.
Revolutionary Self-Love, and you.
In a revolutionary world, which is so subjective and
competing, and where competition is sometimes so cruel
that it becomes so compulsory to indulge in self-love in
different kinds of environments on earth. It means love
yourself apart from it that what you have achieved, what
you have lost and what has been going on, even if you've
done anything wrong.
Yet, it's sometimes soothing to know that someone else
cares of you but love for your own self doesn't mean for
you. So, it must be very compulsory for you to love yourself
in an unbelievable way by diving into your own soul in
quest of yourself if you want to feel true happiness. It's a
very interesting thing about revolutionary love is that if
you have always struggled with your self-respect, it will
entirely transform your life.

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The power of Resurrect yourself:

Whenever you have a powerful sense of loving yourself, it
will lead you to feel better taking care of your bodies. You
will definitely manage your diet in order to nourish your
bodies properly.
There are number of people who manage time for their
families and other relations, but they don't take any time
for their selves. They spend whole of their lives in taking
care of others by under looking their own-selves. Please!
Don't do this, don’t cheat yourself. You must at-least
regard yourself, your body in order to upgrade your self
esteem
Because if you'll not go with it then you'll lack self-
honoring which will result deformation of your body which
consequently affect your habit of loving yourself.
There are multiple ways thru which you can start
pampering yourself and resuscitate yourself today. Here
are some tricks which will help you to upgrade yourself and
about affection for yourself.
 Time to relax: There are many people who
take their selves for relax in order to give
their mind rest but irregularly. So, if you
want to expect some fresh perspectives and
outcomes from yourself then take proper
rest to your mind and body.
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 Replace deep breaths with solo

shallow breaths: sometimes it happens
that you take a shallow-breaths after
spending whole of a fatigues and stressed
day but replace that breathe with some deep
breathes. Hold your breath up to abdomen
for 10 seconds then release it for 10 seconds
and so on. Repeat this action severely in
order to give a proper refreshing time to
your mind and body.
 Meditate daily: Science has proved that
stress leads to anxiety and disorder. And
meditation is a powerful and useful way to
relax your mindset and soul throughout
which will be purified from all kind of
ambiguities and amalgamations
respectively. You may choose your own way
to ruminate yourself but do it regularly and
properly by fulfilling all the prerequisites of
it. It will definitely benefit you.
 Do your exercise daily: A well-known
proverb is that a sound body have sound

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mind. There is also not any doubt in the fact

that physical exercise exhausts negative
hormones from mental of human body. So,
exercise is very crucial for upholding of body
and mind equilaterally.
 Aromatherapy can help you: This is an
ancient art of Handling of your feelings thru
multiple and specific kinds of fragrances of
flowers, oils and herbs, etc. It has been used
from many thousands of years by various
cultures all over the world. You can use
lavender and chamomile to help yourself
rest better at night as well. If you like energy,
scents like cinnamon, cypress, sage,
peppermint, and spiced apple can perk you
up. Bergamot, rose, jasmine, frankincense,
sandalwood, myrrh, and lemon verdant can
ease the pangs of depression and anxiety.
 Try Showering and bathing: Relaxing
your body via taking bath or taking shower can be
powerful way to relief yourself and over indulge
your body. You may play instrumental music during
taking bath for relaxing your mental. There may be

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some people who feel comfort whilst resting in

water tub for revamping of their body. One way of
doing so it's a shower for a third of the time in hot
to warm water. For about 30 seconds, switch to a
colder temperature of water. After this period is up,
switch back to the warm water setting for a few
minutes. Repeat the process. This switch uniquely
provides a light shock to the system that can be
comforting and de-stressing. By Consistently
changing the temperature of the water up and
down, you can literally awaken your body and
refresh yourself in a strong way.

 Get some fresh air: Nature is cheaper than

any other therapy where one can feel soothing. You
may notice that by having a round of nature, your
all mental fatigues evaporate because due to
remaining indoors you may feel more stress upon
your mental and body as well. You can revive your
mind by gazing upon nature and walking outside
simply.
 Reward yourself: Probably, it may happen
with you several times that you are in hurry to check
reaction of others upon our work. It is important to
take reward regardless from this that from which
side it comes. Either it comes from other side or

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from your own side. Yes! You may regard yourself

by eating your favorite dinner or dish and by taking
anything of your choice.
1. Positive Starts: The style in which you start
your day plays a pivotal role in your life. There must
be an optimistic, fresh and healthy initiative by
saying good bye to yesterday's troubles and worries.
Thank on reopening of your eyes after night in the
morning. So, whenever you'll make it your regular
habit it will affirm you some positive vibes inside of
you. Think about any good memory which gives you
happiness and makes better thoughts eventually.
So, in this way you will be able to attenuate the
negative feelings which most of the time become the
reason of many problems.
2. Morning Yoga: Yoga means addition -
addition of energy, strength and beauty to body. It
has been said by Yoga teachers that Your body can
do it, it's your mind you need to convince. Yoga
helps to stabilize the function of heart, to enhance
the flexibility of body, more concentration upon
your work and to make positive outlook. By
dedicating an hour to yoga on daily basis will help
you to love yourself because with the help of it we
use to listen our inner mind. But it needs all those
circumstances and situations which are being opted
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for yoga. A month of its exercise will help you to feel

better change within yourself and you'll start loving
yourself.
3. Healthy eating: You should make it your
permanent habit to eat healthy food in order to
meet all parameters for wellbeing of a good body. A
perfect and good body posture will lead to self -
confident personality consequently. Whereupon,
confidence and self-love go hand in hand.
Therefore, it's too much important to focus on
beautiful body shape to accomplish your own
wellbeing.
4. Journals: it's very important to write down your
journals (personal Diaries) on daily basis. It will
assist you to encompasses your short comings and
all weak areas. This useful habit also helps you to
encircle all of your strong spans. If you don't know
that from where to start this journal and how to
manage its sequence towards the journey to self-
love, then start identifying the areas to work on this
way and that will be best initiative point for you.
With the help of these journals you will be able to
enlist all your daily schedules which will enable you
to know your strong and weak areas. In this way,
you will be succeeded to have true concept of self-
love. While writing journals you should write down
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all of your routine jobs and events thoroughly. It

will help you to know that what you have planned,
what you've expected, what should happen and
what was happen. Finally, this journal will lead you
to figure out the areas upon you have to concentrate
on the way to loving yourself. I've saw countless
people whose habit of writing diary(journals)
cooperates them to love their self. So, the purpose
of this helps you to ponder yourself which will
enable you to love yourself not to give hard time on
your own self.
5. Self-help books: Reading is just like
conversation whereupon books talk but good books
listen as well. Good friends and good books are all
about the ideal life. We shouldn't just make it a good
hobby to read books, but we should also try to avoid
wasting our time in reading useless books. Try to
read such books that can teach you a lot of lessons.
Internet is abandoned with the excess of such books
so you can switch to there in order to find out
beneficial books. The important point is to apply the
lessons you learn from these books upon your life.
6. Good company: It's an innate habit of
human beings that a man acquires all of the
behaviors and mood swings thru his

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environment and the people with whom he

uses to come interact usually. It's therefore
said, A man is known by the company he
keeps. So, try to adopt good company so for
that you can inhale positive attitudes from
them. You will feel happiness in the
company of Good people because they direct
you towards your real goal, the way to love
yourself.
7. Forgive yourself: we are recurring make
multiple number of plans but often became fail to
accomplish all of these plans. Resultantly we
criticize our self which isn't a good habit m. because
if you'll be keep proceeding on criticizing yourself
upon misdeeds of past then how you will be
beneficial in the future. Try to overcome this habit
with the help of certain preceding tactics
 Move forward by locking the past's doors so for not
let your past allows to define you.
 Don't hold on some conventional and old stories.
Don't follow them blindly rather keep yourself
motivated, move forward and make your own story
of life by your own pen.

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 You must realize that not just others can forgive

you, but you can also forgive yourself and definitely
it demands a lot of patience
 Realize that you did your best by putting all your
efforts at that time. This realization will help you in
the future to opt choices. Because when you'll be
master in realizing your choice right than you can
perform better jobs.
8. Be Expressive: It's also a very crucial * that
express yourself fully in the world without caring of
any outside resistances. It means to let this world
know all about your built-in capabilities or your
innate creative gifts. For this purpose, you have to
start loving your hobbies which will enable you to
love yourself. And finally, this all will leads you to
the true happiness.
9. Seek Happiness: happiness doesn't find you
but it's you who find it always. Here are two
questions for you. Is happiness important for you?
Are you aware of some ways to find it out? So, here
are some simple hints to understand the dynamics
of how your ca seek happiness.
 it's an option or choice which wholly depends upon
your own mood swings
 It's all about your mindset. First, train your mind to
how to absorb happiness from surroundings. Teach

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your mind to learn the way thru which true

happiness will reach onto your mind.
 It doesn't depend upon your status in the society or
upon your caste. Don't be upset upon whatsoever
societal rank you've. When you are happy then
nothing matters, and you are free from all these
kinds of aspects.
 It can be created even when you're willing to make
the most of the life. Consider it as a gift and enjoy it
by loving yourself.
10. Self-Introspection: When you are keep going
on inspecting of your inner mindset, you shouldn't
just ponder your shortcomings but also try to make
different parameters of your life. Self-introspection
could be a healthier exercise. When you're carrying
out this exercise you need to know these steps
 point out all problems and good points by
thinking upon them
 Spend some time in inculcating or finding
out happiness the day you must spend.
 Believe in that there will be better
opportunities for you in the future
 Enlist the areas in which you want to make
development and wish to alter it.
 Make a To-do list of goals from today
onwards

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 Also think some suitable alternatives and

how you fed and achieve those alternatives
 Repeat this exercise everyday
Now that we know how amazing self-love is, let us try to
tackle some sensitive concerns that we might have, i.e. our
own shadow. Let’s see if you can get through this and leave
your baggage behind to embrace your happiness.

Loving yourself may not be that easy for some of us. It is

easy to give you all this advice, but doing it is the hardest
part. Changing your daily routine and outlook in life takes
time and courage. For some it doesn’t work at all. Like
what the saying said: No great things will be achieved
without enthusiasm. Negative thoughts, habits and beliefs
should be thrown straight to the garbage can. In this
chapter you will learn more about it, and we will help you
see that adversity can be overcome.

You need to be the first person to know what your

imperfections are, your weakness and limitations; these
are the factors which affect our way of thinking, our
character and how we love ourselves.

Some of this factors but not limited to are the following:

Appearance generally is how we look physically.

This is how we judge ourselves, and that affects your
overall personality. You feel good when you look good and

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bad if you do not like what you see in the mirror. That’s
why most of us spend a lot of time, effort and money to
enhance how we look. Improving how we look is a good
and positive approach. However, before we start in self
beautification, we should learn to internally see our own
beauty from the within. No matter how much we improve
the way we look, if we choose to look at it differently it will
never be enough.

How confident are you with your looks? Do you love

your body? Do you think that your colleague or a friend
looks better than you? Appreciating is good, but remember
to appreciate yourself as well. Our flaws, imperfection and
impairment does not matter if you appreciate yourself.
Your perception in life matters the most.

Social status is how you are being classified in

society. This is your rank, achievement and family
influence. Various factors can affect one’s social status, the
likes are: race, ethnicity, skin color, gender, age and
religious belief. Social power or dominance is very evident
in different group sector. All of this can contribute to the
way you feel about yourself.

Our status confirms the value of our hard work. It is also a

good motivator on how we behave in society. Due to its
importance it is considered big chunk in our pie of fully
attaining self-love.

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Social rejection and oppression can cause us to have a

lower capability to enhance ourselves. It will attack your
self confidence and self esteem to deal with everyone
around you. Knowing how important your status is, is a
good beginning in starting your new-found self-love. If you
can give that love first to yourself, society is just a factor in
this world. Later on we will give some example of how to
deal with this struggle.

Relationships with others are important to us. We

all know what relationships are and how important they
are for us a human being. In society, we seek to be
accepted. In a relationship you wanted to be loved and
cared for, but you need to be the person that other person
needs as well.

A good relationship can give us strength, hope when we

seem to be in the dark and love even if we have nothing
more to offer. A good relationship with another person
motivates us to love ourselves. On the other hand, a bad
relationship can ruin our own personality. It will leave a
scar and shatter us; a bad relationship will lead you away
from who you are, detach you from your life and the things
that you love, and sometimes unknowingly away from your
dreams.

Relationships with our family, spouse or friends is our

basis of who we are right now and who we will be in the

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future. A strong relationship with others is substantial in

seeking happiness, so find that happiness in yourself first,
and then you can share it with someone who can give you
a moral boost towards happiness.

Perception. Your perceptions of yourself, others,

situations, and the life that you live had the power to make
or break your sense of self love and confidence. Where one
sees a glass ceiling, another may see a boundless sky. One
of the trickiest truths about perception is that whatever
you are exposed to has the power to change your mind.
However, if your perception of life not benefit you, you
have the power to alter it until it does.

What you see and understand about life affects what you
do. The key factor is always your perception, which is your
ability to examine what you are seeing around you and
process it in a particular way. Perception is far more
critical than you think when it comes to self love and the
pursuit of happiness. Two siblings can grow up in the
same household and choose completely different paths to
fulfillment. Two kids can grow up in the same
neighborhood and one becomes a doctor or lawyer, while
the other pursues a lifetime of crime. Two students can
attend the same college and be exposed to the same
temptations, while one graduates and another flunks out.
Two people can read the same book, and one may forget

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about it, while another takes action and revolutionizes

their life with the information. What do you perceive?

Life experiences. Whilst life gives us a lot of learning

and achievements, we cannot disregard the fact that it also
leaves us with pain and scars. Good experiences can be a
source of self confidence and help us find more meaning to
life. It can aid us in overcoming obstacles and pressure in
life.

According to some psychologists, remembering negative

memories is human nature. Quite true right? Our negative
experiences carve in our head that a single word can trigger
it every day. Our own character is made of it, and for some
who have experienced drastic and unimaginable
experiences, they choose it to define themselves; from the
way they look physically, how they interact with other
people and how they see themselves. Sometimes those
negative experiences are all they have to survive.

Not all are the same in accepting negative experiences and

positive experiences. There are a few who cannot
determine the difference. The person who has self-love can
overcome this struggle and will be able to find happiness,
not because he/she had experiences but simply because
he/she chooses to be happy.

These statements are examples of how negative perception

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can affect you, and how you can overcome it.

“How can I love my fat body? I hate it!”

This struggle is top of the list. Obesity and being

overweight is a condition where a body gains excessive fat
and you are not alone in this battle. Most people, fat, thin,
or in-between, have issues with their bodies. When you
look at yourself in the mirror and you hate what you see,
you are ashamed of yourself. It’s either you’re too fat or too
thin. You’re legs are short or you don’t have curves, etc.

We cannot change our physical appearance overnight, by

meditating, or by prayer; it needs work and yes, it is a long
run. If you want to be happy, you need to drop those self
pitying and negative beliefs in your head. A person who
loves him/herself accepts his/her imperfections and
knows his/her strengths. We can start by altering our
perspective.

There are some great tips in the next chapter which will
surely help you. For now, here are some tips to overcome
and help you show your inner beauty.

1. I am beautiful! - Mantra. Don’t just say it.

Believe in it, because it is true. Try looking at
yourself every morning naked in the mirror and
recite that mantra. If you have doubts in believing
in it then find good things about yourself, and say it

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aloud! “I am a beautiful creature with hands to use

and legs to take me to places today!” “Another
beautiful day to use my awesome brain. Oh, I’m so
smart and lovable.” It may be unstylish but who
cares. If it’s about you, it is worth it. Have the
courage to embrace yourself and what you are made
of.

2. Dress code. Yes, we have to adhere, but this is not

to stop you from wearing what is in trend today, this
is to make you feel comfortable about yourself. You
do not want to ruin your day just because you can’t
fit in a dress or pair of pants you just bought. Buy
clothes that fit you and underwear too. Dress in
your own style and size.

3. Health is wealth. When you choose to have your

lunch in McDonalds or Burger King today think
about yourself first. What your body needs isn’t
what your appetite desires. Those fast-foods are
very convenient indeed, that’s why they are
successful! When you eat something, think about
yourself, of what is truly good for you.

4. Move. As we know how important exercising is, let

me just emphasize that this is not you burning fat to
be sexier (though that would be great, wouldn’t it?).
Exercise at least 30 minutes a day, believe me your

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body needs it more that you know. All you might be

seeing is your imperfections, and you think that
exercising is a long process that you’d rather not do,
because it won’t work, or at least you think it won’t.
In case you forgot, you’re a human being and aside
from your external parts, you have internal organs
that needs attention as well. If you can’t bring
yourself to join the gym, start with walking. Make
sure you do it every day for an hour.

Our physical appearance is the first thing we notice about

ourselves. Learn to accept and love yourself first. Walk in
the street feeling lucky that you are alive. Do not lose that
confidence when someone looks at you or throws some
nasty glance at your imperfections. Everyone has one. It is
the ones who love themselves most who will win the day,
and sleep well at night.

Arguments Against Self Love

Many individuals face blocks to self love by the experiences

that they had in life, or the negative opinions of others that
were ingrained in them. As a result, these individuals tell
themselves that they are unworthy of self love on some
level. Many of these arguments are a result of the words
and ideas that you choose to accept. If you are not careful,
these arguments against self love can become excuses and
destructive beliefs that can hold you back from progress in

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life and inner peace within your heart, soul, and mind.
When the person who makes you feel bad is it was
someone important to you, the blows to your self esteem
are very real. Although you may have allowed these
negative encounters and memories to bother you, you can
make the decision to not let it destroy any more of your life
and self worth. You can learn to love yourself again, and
you can do so unconditionally.
“I was abused as a child and was told, I deserved it. “

Most victims of childhood abuse fail to attain self-love.

Some psychologists reviewed that most of them think or
believe that they deserve it. It is not surprising because
when the act of abuse is current, you were probably yelled
at that you are a bad kid or what you did is wrong or you
were told not to do it - that you deserved it. In a child’s
understanding they believe it, because they love the
abuser; it could be their parents or guardian, and as a child
all we want is to please these people to gain their love and
attention. We also believe that they are hurting us because
they love us.

Let’s get a thing straightened out first. What is abuse? A

corrupt practice or custom: unjustly. By the meaning of the
word itself it should figured. Being abused is never your
fault. The abuser may have found happiness or
contentment in abusing. It may be physical or verbal.

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Abuse is abuse. It is their problem not yours to deal with.

You do not deserve to be a punching bag, you do not
deserve to take all those condemning words because they
are angry or impatient. It wasn’t out of love or affection. It
was not done to discipline you.

An abuser may be your parents, sibling or guardian. You

are expecting love and caring from them so you think it is
the right thing to do, that they have the right to inflict harm
on you. Sadly, those people were not thinking about your
welfare when they were doing the act of abuse. If these
people really care and love you they could never do those
things. No matter what reason they have, or reasons they
want you to believe that you deserve it, it’s just not true,
because before they do anything they have a choice, a
choice to hurt you or love you - they choose to harm you.
That is not love, that is not caring. As a victim you also do
not have a choice to change your past or start a new life.
You only have one so you cannot change it. You may not
change your past but you can always work on your ending.

Why not try new things? If it’s too hard for you go out, then
start with yourself.

1. Read books that tell about how a person

overcame life after being abused. 11 Minutes of
Paolo Coelho is about a prostitute and how she
retained her self-esteem and end up confident

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about her future.

2. Attend meeting of people who had the same

experience. Do not be ashamed of your
experience, be proud that you been through a
real rough experience and be thankful that you
are alive.

3. Find your dreams. Your life doesn’t end after the

stormy night. Even if you want it to or not, the
sun will always shine - look forward to it and
own your future. Be brave and follow your
dreams.

You might be asking ‘how can I start? Do I have what it

takes to be happy?’ You can answer that question by
yourself. Start loving yourself and appreciating life. You
might think life is unfair for you. It is true. Life is unfair.
Because life doesn’t care what you think or what will
happen to you. It is you who will be responsible for it. Stop
telling yourself that you deserve being abused. You will
only deserve it if you think you do and continue agonizing
yourself for the rest of your life. Be thankful. Always. This
is the key to moving on.

“I do so much to please others and they do nothing in

return.”

This statement is proof of low self-esteem and a lack of

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self-love. It is true that we need to get others’ approval and

acceptance to boost our own confidence, that having
someone trusting you can be a good motivator to do better.
However, before we move to that step we need to ready our
self first.

Do not expect anything from anyone. They do not owe you

anything. We might have given them the moon and stars
from the sky but you cannot expect them to give you the
sun. You give because you are capable. You have
something to offer to them and they accepted it. By giving
you do not expect anything in return. Learn to be
compassionate. Be grateful that you were able to provide
and help.

Here are some tips to divert your attention in pleasing

others:

 Sports. If you’re into one, good. If not,

then this the time to start. Just a simple
sport that you can do like tennis or even
chess, it doesn’t have to be a professional
thing, it doesn’t have to be huge, just
something you like and enjoy. In sports
you need to win but you do not need to
please your opponent. Most athlete have
a good sportsmanship. If you play good
and fair you gain their respect. It is also a

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good diversion and reason for you to be

social.

 Socialize. Not social media. Go out and

meet new people from different parts of
the world or different professions. Get
involved in a charity event or bible
reading, or group travel. All that stuff is
there, just look and you will see. A wide
world awaits you, and it’s fun to meet new
people because they will be interested in
you, and you in them.

 Travel. We mentioned this before, but

traveling is one best therapies for a weary
heart. Get out and go to places you have
never been to. If you have time and a
budget go out of town, perhaps go to the
beach. Look in every place you visit,
observe the people there, and see that
everyone is living. People do not care
where you’re from or what you do. They
are living, and so are you. Look into that
ocean and see how huge it is and how
small you. Your worries are too small for
you to stop believing in yourself.

Broaden your expectations. Erase all those expectations

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that we have created because others have experienced it.

You are responsible for yourself and you do not depend on
someone else to give you happiness.

People will not greet you good morning every day, they will
not listen to every word you say, and they will not accept
all your opinions. There’s a lot of things that we expect
from others but what do we really have to expect? Nothing.
Set an expectation for yourself, on how you think and react
to others. Be positive, it is yourself that you should have
expectations with, so accept yourself for who you are.
Please yourself and do things that make you happy. If
pleasing others makes you happy and content, then go and
give. Be compassionate. If you want real happiness, do
things out of love and kindness and never expect anything
in return.

“My dad said I wasn’t smart enough to amount to

anything, so why try?”

Words are very powerful in building your confidence. If

you had a parent or guardian who was guilty of putting you
down in any way, it can be much harder to feel love for
yourself even after you grow up or lessen contact with the
person. Perhaps it was an adoptive parent who scolded you
and made you feel incapable of being successful, and it
affected the way that you perceive yourself. While reading
this, you can fill in the blank with any person in your family

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or someone that you looked to for approval and

confirmation from,but you never received it. Nevertheless,
the devastating effect remains the same.

Words that you believe in can affect how you think about
yourself and how you respond to your everyday life. Words
are also used to abuse us. We may not notice it but verbal
abuse is very rampant, and it can be from some stranger
passing by, our boss and most of the time from our family;
whatever guise, it can be very damaging. It’s true that
physical abuse can be seen, i.e. you can see a broken arm,
and it will heal, however you can’t see the wounds from
verbal abuse, because your heart doesn’t bleed outwardly.

In a family, a father figure is a symbol of strength and

power. In a basic family, the father has the authority over
anyone in the household. If this figure crushed your
confidence in the past or present, then most likely your
confidence and feelings of self love very low in the present.
Archetypically, a mother figure is supposed to be nurturing
and encouraging to her child. If your mother was the type
of person that put you down or was never there to build
you up, it can affect your mental health and sense of self
worth later in life. Absence of one parent, or both parents
can also have a startlingly damaging effect on a neglected
child. Some people grow up to be elderly folk who have
never gotten over being abandoned, and this affected how

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they loved themselves for decades.

You might not do anything good for yourself thinking that

you are not good enough. You are that person who just
does what he/she is being told and keeps quiet when
someone criticizes you. You may continually repeat the
same negative words and phrases over to yourself,
consciously or subconsciously. Your feelings of inadequacy
may even come up in your dreams. When you allow
someone's hurtful words to affect you, It shows that you
have a high regard for other people’s opinions. You believe
in other people’s words, everyone's except your own.
For that person who can criticize someone, especially their
child, (or someone they were meant to uplift and protect),
it shows that the person does not have a real love for
themselves. Closely examine your family tree for insight.
Do other members of your family have to deal with heavy
criticism from relatives? Have you witnessed the process
in action regarding other members? A critical attitude can
also be inherited from observing the process in action. It is
also possible that their parents or someone else in the
family did the same thing to them, so the person adopts the
negative habit of verbally abusing someone to literally
“force them” to behave differently. It may have made them
strive to do better in their lives, but that doesn't mean that
it will affect you in the same way. In fact, two people can

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experience the same type of verbal abuse, but each one can
react differently to it.

He or she might be the ruin of his own self, and that reflects
how he interacts with others. We cannot change them. The
problem is with them not with you. What we can do is to
forgive them and move on. It may sound bit challenging,
but is doable. It will take time and effort but everything we
want in this world we actually need to work hard for it –
nothing is free. Believe this however, you are breathing and
by that reason alone you should be thankful. Since you are
alive, why not make your life worth living by simply loving
yourself?
It is essential for you to develop self-love in order to live
your life happily. With the procedures presented in this
book , a person who had this experience can overcome the
negativity he or she had experienced before. This can be a
realization for you to find a new path and start building a
good relationship with yourself. Later on, you can be the
exact opposite of what others said you are supposed to be.
Did they call you a loser? Say that you were a Nobody? You
don't have to be a loser, and you are somebody important!
Those are just words and will remain as it is until proven
true. And your perception of the truth and circumstances
are mutable, and can change at any given time.
Even if it is any truth to the words that were said, you must

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always remember that you have the power to change

yourself. Don't make the mistake of being “stuck in time”
with words of the past. What was true 5,10, or 20 years ago
does not have to be the truth of the moment. What was said
in the past does not have to be resurrected in your life
today.
When a person lacks self love, it can feel like what was said
way back then is still true today. A young man who was
criticized as a child for being out of shape may still feel like
a chubby kid inside, even though he has the frame of a
model or bodybuilder now. The girl who felt like an ugly
duckling as a kid may still see her former self even as
others pass by her and gawk at her supermodel features or
stunning shape. The Ivy League IT graduate with a job
making more than $100,000 a year may still feel like he is
not smart enough in some way because of what a negative
parent said, over and over again. A man who grew up
thinking that he would never be successful may presently
have a good, stable job, owns his own home, and is raising
a healthy family may still feel like he is not a success
because of the harsh words spoken by his father or mother
many years before.
To start getting on you can try this things:

 Walk. Walking is good habit not just for your body

but also for your mind to think. Assess yourself. Ask

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yourself a lot of questions. Do not be afraid. Think

deeper and find out what it is that you really want
to do. Find your strength. Do not stop until you have
answers to your question. Do this for an hour a day.

 Do one different thing in a day. Doing

something new can help you discover things about
yourself as well, like watching a movie alone, asking
your childhood friend out for a movie, visiting a
haunted house - anything that is possible and legal.

 Follow your dreams. Do what you want, do what

you’re good at, and indulge in your passions.

Pain is good, and quite healthy as well. It confirms that you

are alive and normal. How to go through with it? Self-love.
Be thankful of what you have. The more you are thankful,
the more you will appreciate life. The more appreciations
you give in your life, the better you feel every day. Let go of
the things that you cannot change and the things that you
cannot have. That doesn’t mean your value is less, it just
means it is not good for you.

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Chapter 5 - Overcoming
Struggles

In previous chapter we come interact with the struggle in

attaining self-love and how we will deal with it to achieve
it eventually.
 Accept yourself and be compassionate.
In our daily life, we never have the control over the things
around of us like we cannot change the behaviors and
approaches of people towards us. We cannot change our
outlook i.e., skin/eyes color, hair style, natural body
language etc. The only thing which we can perform at our
own end is to accept all of the outward stimulus. Accept all
of the unpleasant events or rude behaviors you have
received from the other people. Accept all of your past
moments and move forward by keep an eye upon your own
course of actions and these should be sublime and heart-
taking. Be compassionate to yourself and give other people
your attention and affection.
 be thankful
After passing thru your touchy past, finally you're in the
present moment now. So, be thankful to God for every
happening you knew yourself and found all of the
happiness.

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Don't forecast your whole of the day on the basis of a single

erroneous bad luck in the very start of the day. Be positive
and keep it in your mind that your whole of the day is
ahead still. So, make your determination upon this stance
that it was a just single conflict, but I’ll finalize this day
pleasantly. You may also do it by your good ethical
conducts even you may alter the destiny of the time with
the help of your tiny deeds.
Everyone around of you have its own exposure of struggle
in order to survive. You may have seen fat and ugly people
with smiling faces all the time. You may also have
interacted with such people who were abused in the past
but now they are spending a perfect life. Thus, conclude
from this that happiness doesn't depend upon your
externa appearances rather it's all about how badly you fall
in love with yourself.
 You may abolish depression
Depression is the enemy of self-esteem. It is a factor which
devastates your comfort zone even if good things are
happening to you. So, try to demolish the depression
because this element will tear up your self-confidence and
life.
Identify the source of the depression. This act may be one
of the best things that you can do to develop a higher level
of self-love. Because some people don't bother to undergo

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in this process which results the lack of healing your

wounds
Bad things may happen with everyone in normal life. But
to retain yourself in the state of depression, is your own
choice. Your longer stay in the vicinity of the depression
will enhance the vicinity of your mental disorder. Be brave
and come out if this stage because this stay will leave its
bad consequences upon your senses.
So, try to demolish the depression otherwise it will fix your
self-esteem and self-love consequently.
 Resolve relationship hostility
Whenever you will build some concrete vessels of your
egoistic behavior around you by not forgiving others upon
their mistakes. Then It will construct bitter sense of
surroundings ourselves which will result in creation of
extra tensed environment all the time. You may simply go
forward by forgiving and if someone did wrong with you
indirectly, then just inform them that how their particular
action affected you.
If you'll try to dig out the reality that why these kinds of
sentiments come up in your personality, then re-check
your own sphere of companions. Because certain times, it
happens that these certain negative nodes shift from your
bad company inward of your behavioral outbreaks. These
relationships remain the threat in deteriorating your
nature and switching it as hostile approach towards other

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relations. So, try to get rid of these kinds of relations and

be gentle to others so for that you can involve yourself into
self-love. And consequently, the people who loves
themselves never prefer to the people who possess the core
of hostility inside of their souls.
Counselling to overcome issues and self-
love:
Its beings said about counselling that if it's free, it's advice;
if you pay for it, it's counseling; if you can use either one,
it's a miracle.
There are numerous people who used to find rays of hope
every day. If you are being affected by some bad
experiences in the past, then a qualified psychologist may
assist you to come out of that state. These intuitive
professionals can help spiritually in trapping and
overcoming the bad effects of bad experience i.e., physical,
sexual or verbal abuse.
Sometimes, it may also happen that affection of people for
their selves become excessively low, due to any of the
serious and consoling casualty i.e., death of any beloved or
serious injury etc. Many people suffer from PTSD (Post
traumatic stress disorder) in this context. These kinds of
factors may also become the reason in decreasing one's
love for oneself.
Clear it out, & break loose in self-love

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Clearing exercise may enable you to restart your self-love

and it will help you to get rid of from all unnecessary bad
feelings.
You can write a letter to your offender to let it all go; you
may write there the things, you always want to tell; you
may ask for reasons why they make you upset and how
they affected your life and why it's important to tell them
and make your mind feel free.
Some of the people may choose to send it to their offenders
but most of the people may burn it after tearing it. But even
then, if you'll repeat this action then it will be helpful in
cleansing of your emotions.
Gain spiritual grounds:
If you make your such mind that your existence isn't
meaningless. It has some worth and made for some special
purpose. This feeling should inspire you to indulge in self-
love. If you understand that there is a divine power (God)
who created you in order to accomplish some mission from
you and that creator loves you instead of all your flaws,
sins, shortcomings etc.
There is another great thing about the self-love is that, it
comes from your inner side, you build it, own it, embrace
it and it's you who carry benefit from it.
Remember one thing that you deserve your own love not
of any-one else and you're already being loved by the
creator of the universe.

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The power of a positive friend circle:

There is an old saying that birds of a feather flock together.
A quote by Rohn, " You're the sum to total of the 5 people
that you have around of you"
It means a man is known by his company and defined
completely by his 5closest people.
This world is full of negative and positive minded people.
There always remains a difference between the positive
and negative individuals. Negative minded individuals
always complain you or gossip with you while positive
people always indicate you your opportunity to move
forward in the course of your life, they will help you in
every thick and thin and they will oppose you when you'll
be going to a wrong way. These are true and real people
you need to have around of you.
So, if there is deficiency of positive people within your life
circle then it's time to extend this circle.
You may feel difficulty in this process but it's too much
important to achieve self-love.
Who makes you feel better?
While creating the bank of close friends, you may include
those people who make you feel good. To get desired
results through this technique, you need to draw three
columns by giving headings of Positive people, Negative
people and Undecided people.

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In the first column, you may assemble the name those

people whose existence ensure your happiness and good
luck.
In second column of Negative people, put the names of
those individuals who make you feel bad by always raising
their fingers on you or on your feebleness’s.
In 3rd column of Undecided, you may enlist all of those
names about whom you've some ambiguities either to put
them in 1st or 2nd column.
Now, add the people of positive column into your close
place by deducting the Negative people entirely from your
circle of friends. And re-evaluate the individuals of
Undecided column by extending exposure of interactions
with them. You may find some more individuals to enlist
them in the column for the sake of healthier life.

We all encounter struggles in attaining self-love, but

knowing and acknowledging will surely make a difference;
go and do this to experience self-love to its fullest.

o Acceptance. Things happen all the time,

with or without us doing anything. We
cannot control it, such as how we look,
brown or white skin, fat or thin. On top of
this there is time, we can never compete with
time, for once it’s done there is no way to go

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back. We also have people - we cannot do

anything if there are just people who do
things they aren’t supposed to, things which
hurt us. The only thing that we can do is to
accept, accept your flaws because it is a part
you. It is part of that beautiful person you’re
building yourself to be.

Accept bad experiences not just because you

can’t do anything about it but because it
happens to you, and the past will remain in
the past; you will be moving on to your future
with a true love for yourself. Accept the fact
that someone, a person you love wounded
you - it did hurt, but it doesn’t kill you. You
are alive right now and starting to love
yourself, your whole self and giving that
person your kindness and forgiveness. Your
compassion will be you loving yourself.

o Be thankful. After the stormy night you are

still here, breathing like everyone else, and
be thankfully that you can see yourself in the
mirror, that you have a chance to live your
life for yourself. Be thankful that after your
ideal life you found great abundance of
happiness. After the long search of love, you

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finally found it in you.

o Be compassionate. Be kind to yourself.

Forgive yourself for all your flaws, all your
beliefs and all the past that had happened.
Treat yourself with your utmost love,
compassionately. You will always go back to
where you start unless you choose to be
happy.

o The best is yet to come. Some of the

erroneous truths that people who lack self
love have is that their finest days are already
behind them.

Every day we struggle; it could be with a simple heavy

traffic, and because of that you were late for work, causing
your boss to scold you. How you take it and react is
significant. If you treat it like it’s a bad day then it will be
truly a bad day. Why not be thankful instead? Thankful
that you were able to come to work after what you had been
through. It was rough but you need to move on. Your day
is just starting.

Make it a goal that if your day starts with a conflict, that

you will end it with a good impression. After being late,
treat your boss to a coffee or ask for beer after work with a
colleague. You can simply give alms to the street kids if that

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works for you. Make yourself feel better. Go to the gym or

meditate. Sing while taking a shower. Do not forget that
these simple things can make you feel better. Laugh with a
friend. Say hello to your colleague inside the elevator. It
won’t hurt you, and instead it will surely make you feel
better. Remember your perception is what is important. At
the end of the day it will still be you who will decide if you
want to be happy, or stay in that negative ground.

Everyone has their own struggles in life. If you look at

everyone around they have a lot to tell about their
experiences as well. Sometimes it will be surprising to see
how a successful person with a happy family was once a
victim of abuse. Don’t you find it interesting to see that fat
lady seems very confident in herself, and laughs all the
time? Life and people are mysterious, or maybe not;
perhaps they just found the secret to be happy.

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Chapter 6 - Laws Of Self-Love

How do I love myself?

We must ask this question to ourselves. We used to fall in
love often, forgive the people on their mistakes but we
don't forget ourselves upon our own mistakes.
Though it's a different to indulge in self-love because
sometimes you fail to accept yourself in your purest form
and might start searching the ways to escape. Some of you
may try to set yourselves in somewhere else to run from
this difficulty but in that case, you may get infected by self-
loathing.
Always remember that we cannot run from our own self
rather we can change our company in order to inhale
happiness and to attain self-love eventually.
Understand the laws of self-love and initiative your
journey. Here are some progressive steps which will make
you enable to love yourself.

Think self-Love.
It's a well-known fact that we can change everything with
our power of thinking because it's our thoughts which
becomes our actions later.
To achieve positive thoughts, you may practice meditation,
you may start by writing journals etc. This world has both
good and bad people. There is always some good in bad

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and some bad in good. So, try to focus on positive chunks

to move forward and to the attain the pavement of self-
love.
1.Do self-love
Try to find happiness in having less by bridging up
minimalistic approach of life. Because sometimes having
less could be prove more at times.
Start taking care of your body by taking proper and
precious diet to gain good health.
Do proper exercise in order to maintain physical fitness.
Practice meditation to purify your mind from all kinds of
negative germs.
Though, it wouldn't be so easy in real life. You may get bore
by practicing it every day but try to keep proceeding by
reminding yourself that why you have initiated it and give
your body an energetic momentum.
2.Absorb self-love
When you will start loving yourself already then you may
start buying only those things for yourself which looks
compulsory for you.
Instead of buying yourself materialistic things, surround
you with such things which don't have their expiry date.
For an instance, you may learn any new language, you may
learn singing, or you may seek to play musical
instruments.

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Develop your passion and evolve yourself accordingly with

the passage of time.
Try to priorities yourself while attending some ceremonies.
Go out and come back with loving lasting memories. There
are multiple approaches to love yourself. Try to surround
yourself with positive people. When you'll fit yourself in
the core of uplifting environment to absorb optimism and
self-love.
3.Retain self-love
As you would start absorbing self-love. After the stage of
absorbing the self-love, there may come a point when you
may start devaluing your choices after receiving recurring
complaints. Because after absorbing self-love, the most
difficult thing which you may experience is to retain it due
to the complaints of the people that you don't give the time
to them.
In these circumstances, don't alter your routines. Don't
change your mind, your schedules of yoga and meditation
etc. Don't make any immediate schedule that can disturb
your ability to retain self-love.
4.Exist in self-love
In a radical world of uncertainty, don't remain outside of
your own self preserving self-love because its deficiency
will disguise you. All the great things come from within, is
an incredible insight you must have to love yourself. Don't
go to and froe in the ocean of ambiguity rather try to exist
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in the state of self-love. This act will surround you with a

concrete sphere around yourself in order to keep you
separate from all negative streams.
5.Feed self-love
It may sound awkward in listening to feed to self-love. It's
a journey, not a destination. Up till now, you may get
succeed in attaining and existing in self-love. Now, you
may feel it in your soul in every vain of your body
completely. The more you'll feel the self-love inside of you,
more fortune you'll consider to yourself.
Take care of your body, your skin, your hair, your face,
your nails by moisturizing, massage, and dying etc. in
order to feed your-self-love.
A Buddha said that no one in this entire universe deserves
our love than ourselves.

These five laws will assist you to achieve the finest form of
self-love.

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Chapter 7 – The Importance of

Achieving Your Dreams

The art of achieving self-love lies in making yourself

happy. Have you set any dreaming goals in childhood or
anytime in the past? Have ever dreamed about becoming a
pilot, a doctor, a nurse, an engineer, a footballer, or about
writing a book or for a tour of Thailand, etc. Well, if you
want to love yourself, then you need to focus on you and
your dreams. All of those dreams with which you ever
countered and even you labelled them, 'Forgotten' or
'Unachievable'
Nothing in this world is impossible. It just depends upon
how badly you wish for that. If you want something, you'll
work hard for it. It chances you to achieve itself. When
you want something; all the universe conspires in
helping you to achieve it.
 Seek Success without defining yourself by
failure
Some people feel it difficult to get indulge in self-love
because they define themselves by failure rather their
success.
There isn't any substitute of self-love. There are some
people who work a lot and even they become successful in
achieving plenty of the successes and assets, but they fail

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to fall in self-love. These kinds of people are known as

overachiever or workaholic. A workaholic is a person
who works compulsively. While the term generally implies
that the person enjoys their work, it can also alternately
imply that they simply feel compelled to do it. These kinds
of people often use to surround their selves with the sheet
of work in order to disguise the true feelings that they have
about themselves and their lives. But one thing regarding
self-love is very clear and concise and it cannot be bought,
sold, or negotiated by anyone.
The sad thing about it that there isn't any such stream of
work that can do to develop self-love because when you
surround yourself with work and do not deal with the
problem. Consequently, you may look successful
apparently, but you'll feel unhappiness inside of you until
or unless you'll not undergo with self-love.
There is an excess of such people who earn far less than
overachievers and workaholics, but they look happier that
them because they fall in love with themselves.
Unfortunately, it's just due to negative philosophy of
people which is mixed into their blood that there are many
successful people who achieve their successes without
getting indulge themselves into self-love.
People who love themselves always emits the rays of
positivity while people who lacks the feeling of self-love,
always see the negative aspects of the things.

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One of the biggest differences between optimistic people

and pessimist people is what they decide to focus on. So,
always choose to see the positive perspectives of the life.
 How your achievements help you to attain
complete self-love
. Achieving your goals is actually an accomplishment. The
accomplishment of your dream and goals thru your strong
nerves and it make you really proud on you which lead you
to feel in self-love.
. When you achieve something m, then open the doors for
future opportunities to alter into your life.
. There is not any better feeling than knowing you've
chosen your dreams. These feelings emit happiness, and
these are the key to self-love in happiness itself.
 Clarify your goals now!
Remind your goals, you may set in the childhood and
reconsider those goals wither you have rejected it or not.
It may happen that dreams you'll set for yourself, is no
longer useful for you now. Your school dreams may
become irrelevant in the age of 40. Reinenforce all of your
senses and re-evaluate you all of your dreams. You may set
in the past and clarify yourself all of them by enlisting all
of them.
Now, your goals are crystal clear and here it's the systems
order to accomplish your dreams and to welcome Self-

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love. So, whenever you want to achieve any of your dream

then follow this sequence which is in ascending order.
 What is it!
Firstly, you need to clarify your aims by thinking on it
again and again. And if you've more than one goal then
enlist all of them in ascending order by placing your
utmost desired dream at the top and so on.
 How to achieve it?
One thing should be very clear into your mind that nothing
in this world is impossible or unachievable. So, step out
and keep proceeding your journey by making a complete
master plan after having a complete analysis of ground
realities. For example, If you don't have resources to
accomplish your dreams then strive hard to make
resources. After fulfilling all requirements of resources
move forward but don't ever think to leave it.
 your feelings on achieving your dreams?
While moving forward in the quest of your dream, make an
imagination cloud where you can see your own happiness
and proud on achieving your dream. Just keep that
screenshot in your pocket all the time while proceeding
towards your destination. And whenever you'll feel
desperate on the way to your goal have a glance over this
screenshot in order to inspire yourself.
 what's your first step?

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After accomplishing above mentioned three steps

successfully, now it's time step in the practical field or on
the road to success. At this stage, recharge yourself with
full confidence but not let your pessimistic feelings to come
into your mind. The more you'll have the light of self-love
the clearer and smoother will be your journey.
 How much time you'll take to achieve your
goals?
To ponder upon this statement, you may ask two questions
from yourself about your dream.
. Is it a quick process?
. Is it a long journey?
Always be realistic about the time frame of your journey.
How much time it will take you reach at your destination.
While doing this, keep one thing into your mind that don't
rush because if you'll do it then you'll fall and get
demotivated which will dishearten you. While during the
whole of your journey, the supplements of self-love will
feed you to remain inspire.
 Re-evaluate in the midpoint of the process
At the midway of your journey, you may pause your efforts
for a while. Reconsider your goal and reevaluate yourself
either you still want to crave for it. If you are still self-
determined, then proceed forward.
 The gift if clarity

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This point demands a hat of regard because it's very

important to clarify your dreams for the sake of successful
and happier course of life ahead. Because what you really
want in a profession is more important than simply finding
the work. So, take as much time you want to take in order
to clarify your goals as it's very much necessary to elucidate
your vision. Whenever you will not perform this task in the
starting of the journey, you'll waste your time and energies
as well in confused ways. So, don't hesitate to design your
goals that really reflect your inner desire.
As Stephen Kellogg says that It's better to be at the bottom
of the ladder you want to climb than at the top of the on
you don't.
 Using S.M.A.R.T goal setting
Set your goals according to your own level and caliber
because when you get fail in achieving your goals, then you
feel embarrassment and resultantly you starts hating
yourself. Setting of small goals, is one strategy to overcome
this factor. At least, It will be far better than to become
desperate in the mid of the way than to leaving it in the mid
of the way.
So, try to utilize S.M.A.R.T terminology to achieve any of
your goal. What's SMART. It's acronym if
S Specific
M Measurable
A Attainable

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R Relevant
T Timely
 Specific
Your goal shouldn't be vague or unclear. It shouldn’t too
general rather it should be so clear and specific that we can
easily plan a map for our journey.
 Measurable
Whenever you decide to plan your goals, then make
predetermined set of ways to measure your progress. In
this way, you'll be able to check your progress in future. It
will also enable you to resume your journey if it will be
struck away.
 Attainable
Use cognition reasoning to design goal while finalizing
your dreams. Consider all of the ground realities and
outward stimuluses i.e., temperature, environment etc.
and all available resources i.e., labor, time etc. It's will help
you to determine either this goal is attainable or not.
 Relevant
It's a very basic step in the process. In setting your goal
ponder upon these questions first.
. The reason to opt this goal
. Either it's matchless with your life
style/interest/personality
. Feasibility of your capabilities either you may achieve it
or not.

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. Why you're choosing this goal either you're selecting it for

yourself or for someone else.
 Timely
It's a key to accomplish your goals. Set a time frame to
attain your destinations. It must not too much short, not
too much lengthy, rather according to actual timescale
required to accomplish that goal.
By using the technique of SMART, we may concisely
prepare ourselves in attainment of goals.
As Michelangelo says that the greater danger for most of
us isn't that aim is too high and miss it but that it's too low
and reach it.
 You must preserve
Scott Reed says that this one step-choosing a goal and
sticking to it- changes everything.
Sometimes, people have the similar ideas and caliber but
their will power to preserve is the main factor that varies
the level of success.
Many times, winner of the race or achiever of solid success
aren't the smartest people but the people who strived hard
to achieve it without taking care of obstacles come in their
way.
 On goal accomplishment
Achieving a goal or dream, is a quick track to self-love. One
of the best ways to boost your self-worth is to figure out all
of your dreams, make their list, and start accomplishing

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them. More you'll achieve your dreams, more you'll be fall

in love with yourself.
Upon reaching on your destination, you may ask these
questions from yourself
. Do you feel bliss on achieving?
. Do you feel proud on yourself?
. Did attaining your goals, arise sense of accomplishment
. Did you improve your life or others’ lives
 Importance of rewarding yourself
Don't wait for others to reward you rather reward yourself
when you accomplish a goal. It doesn't matter how small
it's, just do yourself a favor and give yourself a reward.
Reward yourself by celebrating it. Don't ever forget to
acknowledge yourself about your achievements before
switching to next goal. This thing will invigorate you.
Proper goal setting is a skill that will benefit you in many
areas of your life. If you are able to create goals that are
based on a certain amount of factors, you can find a way to
reach them much more easily and also determine if a goal
is properly set. The advantage of setting solid goals cannot
be ignored if you want to achieve success and accomplish
tasks that benefit you, your loved ones, and even society.
Fortunately, you can follow a tried and proven system to
expedite your plans for success.

“The greater danger for most of us isn’t that our aim is too

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high and miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it.”
-Michelangelo

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Chapter 8 – Why Pleasing

Everyone Else is a Fast Track to
Unhappiness

Are you a people pleaser?

Many of us feel happiness when we please someone else.
We feel good on having a glance of blissful smile. Through
it's a quite normal and an admiral trait but it's really wrong
to make this practice every day.
To test yourself that either you're a people pleaser or not,
ask following questions from yourself. Pleasing someone
else is okay sometimes, but if you find yourself doing it all
the time then you are damaging your self-worth, and you
are placing all your love onto another person, leaving none
left for you. Self-love is about recognizing your own needs.
Does this person do the same for you? Do they sacrifice
absolutely everything to make you smile? Probably not.
This doesn’t mean they don’t care about you, it simply
means they have balance, because they recognize that they
need to do things for themselves too. It’s unhealthy to
throw everything you have at someone else, and over time,
it’s human nature for the other person to start expecting
this treatment from you, and when you back off a little
because you need to, perhaps you really do need to do
something for yourself, they’re going to be wondering what

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happened.
It’s about balance.
You will say yes upon these questions if you'll be people
pleaser.
. If someone's mood is bad, then you'll feel that it's due to
you
. You'll apologies for everything even you aren't sure either
it's your fault or not.
. Your partner's mood affects your mood strongly
. You would literally do anything to please someone even
indulging yourself in difficulty; a situation which may
make you unhappy
. You're never sure of how you feel yourself
Pleasing someone else for all the time, is a damaging
exercise for your self-worth. Because if you're placing all of
your love into others, leaving none for yourself. Self-love is
all about recognizing your own needs. If you're trying to
please someone else but in response, he's doing nothing.
Then it doesn't mean that he doesn’t care about you but it's
all about 'Balance'
For an instance, if you've a partner, who's taking, taking,
taking & taking and you are keep giving, giving and giving
then you've entered into a damaging and unhealthy
state/situation. You must have an equal give and take
policy to make both parties feel important.

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To be loved, you need to love yourself first as self-love

comes from inside otherwise someone else will take total
and utter benefit and advantage of you.
 Focus on valuing yourself
Any situation in life needs to be balanced and in order to
have healthy relationships and friendships. You must
regard yourself as you regard others. Manage the time
boost up your confidence level. You may get involve
yourself in following situations
 Take an evening class and learn a new
skill
Try to spend your sometime in learning some skills and it
isn't necessary to have its link with your qualification.
Something you enjoy like musical classes.
Take time in nature
Try to spend some time in the lap of nature because to go
for a walk in a natural environment is a very beneficial
hobby. Nature cleanses and purifies your mind and body
both.
Get sporty
Playing sports is an awesome and incredible way to
nurture your self-worth. So, do any game on regular basis.
Focus on your career

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Put all of your efforts and attentions into your job and
cultivate your career which enhance your opportunities
and will open doors to boost yourself love.
Participate in something that pleases you
In order to meet its requirements just remember the word
'balance'. Always balance your life through ways we tell
you. Be positive and participate in all those activities that
please you and make you feel better.
consider why it's important
Before doing something else, examine yourself by asking
these questions.
. Why I’m doing this for him
. Is it really compulsory?
. Either I’m doing this due to my internal kindness or to
receive praise myself.
. Will it hurt my feeling if I didn't find my expected
response?
. Either I'm doing this due to fear of rejection or due to fear
of disapproval?
Once you gain insight, you can make smarter and healthier
decisions for yourself that will positively affect all of your
interactions.
Focus on Valuing Yourself
More often than not, too many people value the opinions
of others over their own. If you focus on valuing yourself at
all times, you can release the need to want to please others
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so much. Some excellent questions to ask yourself is “Do

you think your opinion is valuable? Why, or why not? Were
there circumstances in your life that made you feel as if
your choices, desires, and opinions did not matter?” It is
possible that you may be scarred from those experiences
and wrongfully coerced into thinking that what you think
does not matter, therefore you do not matter. Placing all of
your energy into pleasing others is the wrong way to
validate your self love.
Any situation in life needs to be balanced, and in order to
have healthy relationships and friendships, you need to
value yourself as much as you value the happiness of the
other person. For this reason, if you find that you are
constantly trying to please everyone else over yourself, you
need to take a little time out from relationships. Take the
time to value yourself, and to boost your confidence; find
the things in your life that you enjoy
Depending on how you answer these questions, you can
learn a lot about yourself and your intent. The more
emotional the connection, the more like it is that you are
doing it to validate yourself and falsely expand your sense
of self love and worth. Once you gain insight, you can make
smarter and healthier decisions for yourself that will
positively affect all of your interactions.

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Chapter 9 – The Art of Saying

“No”

Let’s move forward from our previous chapter that was

basically putting all the effort for others and doing so much
for them, we now need to understand the benefits of saying
“no”. We will learn easy steps about “how to say no” Saying
“no” and its consequences. Majority of people feel
embarrassment while saying no to others because they
think after this people will start judging them. Most of
them are afraid about the consequences like people will
think bad of them and they will not be able to face them
with confidence again. Well, the good news is that there
are many situations where it is totally possible say “no”,
and totally just too.
What do you think is the most difficult word to say? I am
asking about pronunciation, it is about feelings. Well the
word is “NO”. Saying no to other people who you are used
to say yes to can be creepy even painful sometimes. You
will be surprised to know that a lot of people are filled with
anxiety and hypertension at the thought of saying no to
something or someone with confidence. This feeling often
comes when we focus on others values than ourselves.
However, this is opposite of self-love.
If we continue yes sir routine than sooner or later, we are

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going to burden ourselves with a lot of un-wanted

responsibilities. This process leads us to stress, and stress
is unhealthy, damaging, and can have some serious results.
If you need a little evidence, stress can:
 Lead to depression and anxiety
 Affect negatively your sleeping patterns
 Loss of appetite
 High blood pressure
 Increase your cholesterol levels
 Render you useless in social situations because you
simply can’t think straight
 You can’t hold on to situations because you cannot
focus
 Subtle variations in mood and brings you down
 Affects your matrimonial life and this could be the
last ship drowned
 Big reason of mistakes
 Increases your heart rate leading to heart diseases
 Can increase the risk of a heart attack or stroke
 Basically, stress can be fatal in its most severe forms
A person who is lacking in self-love is more likely to
become a victim of stress, this is just a common fact. If you
concentrate on what others think about you rather than
yourself and your own feeling, you are going to stress
yourself out. You could get stress at workplace, then take

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all that bad feeling with you to your home where your
spouse is waiting for a happy jolly man and what she
receives? a stressed, fed up man that consequently leads to
some serious issues. Your home life is affected by it
because your spouse and children think that they are not
important.
This is where your blood pressure touches the upper limits
and can be fatal. Risk of stroke or heart failure and most of
the times depression that leads to other problem as well.
Standing Up for Yourself
If you want to show yourself love you must stand up and
stand tall for yourself. Be firm in your attitude because
there are situations that can hamper your will power.
Support yourself by saying no, learn how to say no and
when to say no. if it is extremely difficult for you to say no,
this may be a habit throughout your life span. Just look
back in the past and think about all the times where you
may say no, but you did not. As a result, you will feel
depressed, angry and upset with the others secretly. Most
probably you will be angrier with yourself than others.
If you are on the above-mentioned root than there are
chances that other people may have attain what they
demanded from you and did not get what you whish to.
Want to know the reason? Its simple because you always
say yes to their all requests, demands and feelings. You did
not value your own feelings, self-worth and emotions. If

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you are still thinking, “why didn’t I just say no” there are
chances that you did not back yourself up. You did not
support your own self because of the others. To show
yourself love and kindness, you must be willing to respect
your needs, desires, wishes, even dreams. To be successful
inn life you must be careful to whom and what to submit
to.
Always remember one thing that your opinion, values,
wishes, dreams and needs are just as much important as
others demand of you. If there is a difference at any stage
between your values and that of the others than you have
all the right to say no at any-time. At some point you must
value yourself and love yourself. it will be easier if you learn
how and when to say no. the situations may vary but the
result will always remain same. Here are some of the
situations, including but not limited to:
1. Saying no to a sails man who tries to sell you
something and you are not interested, or you do not
have time.
2. Saying no to children, relatives, even parents when
you want to
3. Saying no to superior officer when you disagree
with the decision and you are on right
4. Saying no to spouse when your opinions are
different
5. Saying no to a friend even though you may have

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been with her or him every time she needs to

The list very long but if you lack self-love, you will
not feel good while saying no. this will make you
uncomfortable with everything you do in life. just
value yourself and support your opinion as you
value others.
Best Ways to Say “No”
If you are worried about others while saying no or you
think too much before saying no than the following lines
are for you. We will learn the polite, likable and
professional way of saying no. just follow these simple
steps and you are done.
1. Start positive
When you have decided to say no to anyone, and
you are confused start the conversation in a positive
way. Like “I respect your opinion but” ... or “this
idea is great! It’s just that” … by saying these words
you will get the necessary time to compile your
feelings and say no.
2. Let me Think About it please…
This is another say to get some time and to say no
in a professional manner. The person demanding
from you will understand by your approach that you
are not willing to do what he desires, and his ego
will not be hurt as well.
3. Simple no is better than all other excuses

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If you don’t have time or you are not interested at

all then a simple no can make you feel good with no
worries. Just say no when you don’t want something
to be done because if you say yes at that time it can
cause serious issues later damaging your peace of
mind. Simple no and feel relax.
Most important thing is saying no and staying firm on it. It
doesn’t mean you have to be angry or make faces. You can
say no with a smile as well. Others will realize that your
decision is firm, and they can’t change it so they will
definitely leave surrender without hurting you. if someone
is still asking for yes you can ask him some questions to
understand his intentions. You have the right to say “no”
at any stage you want.
What comes after saying “no”?
We are human beings and being humans, we have
limitations. Everyone has flaws in his life. people who are
not blessed with self-love feel guilty about many different
things in their life, many of which they have or haven’t
done. You need to read this chapter if you feel guilty at
saying “no” to anything even though you feel in your heart
that you are not wrong to do so. Please pay attention to the
content of this chapter and you will start feeling better.
To be a good self-lover you must understand yourself. You
must know your positive and negative points. Every
human being has weaknesses so do you have. Self-love

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means understanding your strengths and weakness and

respecting your limitations. If your boss is piling up too
much work or he is asking you for over time its not your
fault it’s their fault.
By saying no, you don’t become an inferior or lesser human
being. It doesn’t mean that you are at wrong side. It means
you like yourself the way you are, and you respect your
limitations. When you start appreciating yourself with all
the positive and negative aspects of your personality, then
you are on right path to self-love.
Saying “no” does not make you a lesser human being, and
it doesn’t not mean that you are wrong, it means that you
are appreciating yourself, and you are understanding your
limitations. Self-love isn’t all about appreciating our plus
points, it’s about understanding and appreciating your
flaws too.
Take a very good care of your health, because no one can
do it better than you. We have discussed briefly in this
book why health is directly proportional to your happiness.
Healthy diet and daily exercise are necessary to keep your
body healthy and clean. But what would you do to feed
your brain and keep it stress free? It’s simple just believe
your abilities and trust yourself. As I said limitations are
there but self-believe and trust leads you to the ultimate
glory of self-love and mental satisfaction. your limitations
are also there to keep you safe, e.g. when you are at office

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and about to pack up and suddenly boss appears from

nowhere and asks you put some extra effort and time to
another example is that your eyes are closing and you are
dead tired your friend asks you to take care of her kids
while she goes out for dinner with his husband? These are
the best opportunities for you to sit back, take a breath,
and smoothly say no to prove that you are also as much
important as anyone else can be.
“No” Is a small word to say but it has a lot of power to keep
you calm and value yourself with all your limitations. Start
saying no and cultivate your levels of self love.
A small word, two letters, it takes seconds to say, but it
packs a punch, and is one of the most powerful words you
can utter if you want to value yourself and cultivate your
levels of self-love.

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Chapter 10 – A Hot Topic – Body

Image

We have covered important aspects of body image and

self-love in previous chapters, but it’s time to go in depth
because it really is very important ingredient to self-love
recipe. Body image is one of the most debated topics in
self-love learning therapies.
Since the world has transformed into a global village, we
all love to be updated with modern fashion and outfits.
Being up to date is good but trying to b like all those media
stars and personalities creates depression. There is not a
single day in your life when you don’t watch a celebrity
with great looks and amazing body image. The trouble
begins when we start comparing our own body image with
media stars. The pressure to be perfect is felt by all of us at
some stage of or life.
We all are made to be different, and that is the beauty of
this universe; if we all are have same body postures, same
colour, same weight then life would be extremely boring.
Health and well being must be the top number in your
priority list like eating organic foods and a lot of work outs,
but you must understand the importance of accepting your
self with all your qualities and a valuing it.
In order to live a healthy life, you need to follow these

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rules:
 Fruits and veggies an integral part – it’s a
proven fact that people with more organic food like
fruits and vegetable live a healthier living than their
other colleagues. Take necessary quota of vegetable
and fruits on daily basis. This will boost your health
by providing the vitamins and minerals required for
a healthy body. A healthy body contains a healthy
mind and a healthy mind is the essence of self-love.
 Plane your diet charts – when something is in
your control you can deal with it the way you like.
Plane your meals by writing them and strictly
following them. Make menu after confirmation
from specialist and never violate it. By strictly
following menu you can overcome over eating
routines and live a healthie, happier life.
 Have a healthy eating buddy – find someone
from your list who wants to boost his overall health
and outlook, work together to get ideal results. Just
keep one thing in mind that you don’t have to
compete with him, you need to help each other, this
could be a Bar-B-Q night or a chocolate bar
invitation.
Allow yourself a day off, in moderation –
never push yourself to extreme, because this could
result in fail or something in appropriate. Give

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yourself a treat after a long, busy schedule, this will

help you organize your thoughts and relax, resulting
in lifting your value in your own mind. This does not
mean that you forget all the hard work you did to
maintain your self-respect. Follow the rules and
enjoy a happy start of self-love.
Exercise to feel good – sweat and weight loss is
not the only purpose for exercise, basically the
exercise is one of the best ways to gain happiness.
Don’t exhaust yourself in gym, enjoy exercise
instead. Try yoga, try workouts in outdoor gym for
an hour or two every few days, try Pilates, or even
dance class, which is fun and sociable at the same
time, basically enjoy your exercise. Try to play team
sports, this is also a source of enhancement of self-
worth. As an active team member, you can boost
your personality, thus giving yourself a chance to
grow further in self-love.
A healthy life style is an integral part of self-love, because
you can’t love yourself if you feel lethargic and don’t feel
good when you see yourself in mirror. This chapter is all
about body image, and whilst its correct that you should
love yourself when you see in mirror. If you don’t like what
you see in mirror than you must put your all efforts to
change it into a shape that is loved by you and that must be
your ideal.

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Body image and the media. Now, when we’ve

discussed being healthy and treating your body like the
temple it deserves to be, but we also need to pay a lot of
attention to the fact that there are several outside factors
which can affect the way you feel about your body.
The job of the media is to create fantasy, and most of the
times its nothing more than that specially in the case of
super models and celebrities. Media life is always very
colorful because of the celebrities and stars who are always
best on screen because of the access to personal trainers,
tailored clothing, top notch rejuvenation treatments and
some of the best adornments and enhances effects that you
can buy with money. No doubt they are millionaires with a
very colorful media life, but have you ever asked yourself
about their personal life? these people might be super stars
with a lots of bank balance and luxury life, but it doesn’t
mean that they are happy inside. Sometimes people act
well but they don’t have a lot of self -love. Most of the
celebrates you see on media and websites go through one
to two hours of makeup done by a professional before they
even go in front of camera. When the shoot is over, most of
the plush celebrities do not even look like the image of
themselves that they put out to the world!
If you want a clear view of their life just put yourself in their
position. If someone was regularly picking what you wear,
and constantly thinking that you could be thinner, or

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pointing out your cellulite to the world, would you love

yourself or feel overly confident? Probably the answer
would be NO.
The problem starts when we many folks unfairly judge
themselves to the same standards without the team
celebrities have. Athletes have professional trainers who
customize their workouts, and, many have to workout for
hours a day and the constantly follow strict diet plans to
just to stay in shape. The point of this section is that media
is cruel. All of us buy those magazines and visit those sites
but comparison should end here. This is one of the most
famous reasons why a lot of celebrities break down under
media pressure while they are expecting to retain a
spotless image all the time. Be thankful for all the gifts you
have. Be thankful that you are not a celebrity, be thankful
that you are not judged on everything you wear and
whether you are looking potentially ordinary at some point
of your life.
Maybe females find it a little more obviously hard than
guys, but that’s not to say that males out there don’t feel
the pressure. The desire to be thinner, super fit, more
muscles is just as prominent in the masculine world, as it
is for the women out there. The bottom line is self-love all
the way.
Learn how to love your body?
One of the most important fact we need to know is that

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self-life is directly linked to the body-image. There are

potentially dangerous conditions which can develop if we
seriously dislike out body image. You can be a victim of
eating disorder like anorexia and bulimia when a body
image issue becomes serious. This is the reason why you
should avoid this at all costs. Body dysmorphia is also
something many of us suffer from to some degree without
even realizing. Of course, this can be worse in those who
have a real problem with body image, and this is when
what you see in the mirror does not correlate with what is
true and real.
The only way that you can truly learn to live your body is
to accept who you are and approve of yourself. For many
who lack self love, this can be the hardest step to complete.
Although you can do many things to alter your body image
in different ways, you still have to acknowledge and
appreciate who you are right now, so you can still develop
self live and feel comfortable in your own body. The
funniest thing about accepting and approving of yourself is
that you will start to develop a sense of confidence that
others will notice.
Do you have a body image problem?
Because the way we see ourselves in terms of the physical
is so vitally important, we should look into the degree to
which you may have a problem with your physical
appearance. This is not problem with everyone, and some

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people simply go through a normal degree of dislike or

neutral feeling when it comes to how they look. There
aren’t many people who are 100% happy with what they
see in the mirror, but they are able to see the positives
rather than the negatives, and deal with their flaws.
Answer these questions honestly:
 When you look in the mirror, do you feel disgust?
 Do you like any parts of your body?
 Do you feel shy looking into mirror?
 Are you constantly on a diet which fails?
 Do you make an effort with your appearance on
daily basis?
 What feeling come into your mind when you look at
yourself in mirror?
 Do you compare your appearance to someone else
and feel bad about yourself?
To know the answers of these questions you just
need to be positive and forget about negative
aspects of your body image. If you are regularly on
fad diet that fails, that is going to harm your
confidence and hence going to chip away your levels
of self-love. This is the main reason why body image
such an important part of learning self-love.
Nobody is perfect, but provided you are healthy and
you have a body which you can look at and think
‘I’m okay’, you are on the right bus.
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We should mention that many people think that those who

are overweight or underweight are the only ones who have
body image issues, but that’s simply not true. There are
many slimmer people who don’t like what they see either,
but nobody really pays that much attention; why? Because
for some reason society has the idea that slim is perfect –
not the case! Healthy is the key here, healthy body and
healthy mind.
What is perfect?
Everyone’s idea of perfection is different. Think about it
logically – you probably had a crush on a celebrity when
you were younger, perhaps you had posters on your wall.
It could have been a boy band singer, or it could have been
an actress, but did your friends all have a crush on the
same person? Probably not! They probably had a crush on
someone else and you looked at the object of their lust
wondering what they were seeing. Everyone is designed to
find different things attractive, and this is the wonder of
life in many ways. When you accept and appreciate, you
will start to love yourself much more, without comparing
yourself to what you think is perfect.
If you have the idea that blonde hair, blue eyes, and a size
10 figure is perfect, then you won’t feel happy with yourself
if you are a brunette with brown eyes. Having said that, the
person you are destined to fall in love with may be a true
brunette fan, whereas you can’t understand why he doesn’t

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love blondes.
Do you see where we’re coming from here?
Perfection is not a label, it is not something which is
prescribed – bread is bread, it has a label because it is
bread, perfection is not that simple, it is fluid, and it has a
difference depending on every single person you ask. Kick
out of your head the idea of perfection, and understand
that nobody thinks the same thing as you do, and watch
yourself begin to learn to love the person you are – flawed
and all.

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Chapter 11 - Tips To Practice

Self-Love

Now when you know how to love yourself and what track
is good to take you to next level of self-love and
contentment with yourself. Here are few simple tips that
will ease you to attain and practice self-love. By following
these easy steps, you can help yourself with self-love
without any trouble.

 Try to get up early morning. Early to bed and

early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and
wise. Yes, its correct by getting up early you can take
advantage of extra time you have. When others are
sleeping, you can go outside and watch a sun rise.
This helps you meditate, complete your work in
time, spend time with your dog and do lot more
work without disturbing anything at all. When you
tick things in your to do list in time it creates a sense
achievement, and this will breed self-worth and
eventually self-love. Set your alarm and soon you
will realize the difference in getting up.

 Your early morning mood decides the fat of

your day. When you get up in the morning you
must tell yourself a good thing about yourself. One
good advice to start your day is to stay away from
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technology, by checking your cell phone or

watching TV. Instead give yourself some love and
constantly remind yourself that you are someone
special. We have become far too much familiarized
with the touch of our phone every single spare
second that we don’t have time to think about
yourself. Using too much social media like
Facebook, twitter and all these apps fail us n terms
of becoming social with those actually sitting
around us. Similarly, this takes away our personnel
alone time, which we need in order to grow into
well-shaped human beings, who love ourselves
completely.

 Everyone has negative thoughts but don’t

make it pattern.

Never realize yourself that good things only happen

to good people and don’t develop a pessimistic
approach towards life. fight against your inner
circle to maintain a positive approach towards life.
you must understand that things are never going to
be perfect always, and you need to make peace with
it. If you immediately go down the negative route,
every single mishap will become a drama, and you
will drag yourself down to unhappiness and self-
loathing. If however you can treat every mishap as

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a road bump, and find a creative solution to it,

you’re more likely to feel upbeat at the end of it, and
proud of the way you dealt with it

 Relationships are not harmful but chose

your partner wisely.

When you don’t feelgood with someone or you have

to compromise your ego and you are losing an
integral part in a relationship, then you need a
change either in your relation or your partner.
Never let anyone else make you sad all the time and
come out of every toxic relationship. You need to
believe that you deserve better and that you don’t
need anyone else to be happy. Instead of finding
your reason for happiness in someone else, you
need to find it in you. Of course, this isn’t all about
romantic relationships either, because toxic
friendships can be just as harmful. A friend who
doesn’t have your best interests at heart, and who
tries to either incapacitate your happiness or make
you feel like a lesser human in comparison, really
has no place in your social circle. Surround yourself
with those whose presence make you happy and
those who support you, whilst offering the same
amount of support to them too.

 Celebrate every single achievement .

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Celebrate every single win that you made doesn’t

matter how big or small it could be, but make sure
you treat yourself after winning every battle or
completing anything significant. Every
achievement is something to be proud of, so smile
about it and give yourself a treat as a reward. Your
levels of self-love will increase with every small
achievement, and this harps back to our chapter on
making your dreams come true. These don’t have to
be big dreams, they can be small milestones
towards a bigger achievement, but the important
thing is that you are not stopped and moving
forwards, and not going backwards.

Stay close to those kinds of people who

makes you happy. Stay close to those people who
make you happy and you feel relax in their
presence. Make sure you grow with them and have
a healthy relationship with them in future. Your aim
should be less but good people, instead having a
bunch of folks whom you can’t relate to. When you
feel you have people with no more common things
or people who bring your confidence down its time
to make a decision to leave them and never feel
guilty about it. Just embrace the good memories,
smile about them, and move on with love in your

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heart.

 Come out of your comfort zone and

experience the magic of life.

Believe in your abilities and assure yourself that you

are not a box and you have more than four sides.
Don’t let anyone or anything define. youEvery
occasionally, push your limits and do something out
of routine. If you do something you were scared of,
the feeling of accomplishment will be immense. You
will finally realise that there is some truth in the ‘I
can do anything’ I love to , and that will outgrowth
you on to do other ‘out of your comfort zone’ things
in the future. Before you know it, you’ll be taking on
the world and love yourself for it!

 Work for your dreams. If you won’t follow your

dreams, you might have the kind of regret that
would ruin your whole life. Read back over our
chapter on realizing your dreams, and get to work
on ticking off that bucket list.

Take some time of and don’t over-exhaust

yourself. We are bombarded with noise every
single day, whether that is from television or
checking mobile phones every ten seconds, always
being available on social media or emails. Cut your

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ties and take a break because it will help you spend

some time with yourself. Initially turning off your
wi-fi will create panic but when you realize the
importance of yourself and the time you spend
alone, all this feeling will decrease slowly. Don’t
worry however, as that feeling will slowly abate if
you stick it out, and you will be free to declutter your
mind from those comparisons and petty dramas
you see on your timeline, and instead you can focus
on the way you feel, the small things in life, and you
will soon realise that they are actually the big things.

 when you can’t laugh at the same joke over

and over again, then you can’t let the same
thing make you sad several times. If you have
lost a loved one in your life, then don’t let that
thought change your personality. Getting
disheartened is natural but don’t let that phase take
over the better part of your life. you must
understand that even grief comes as a phase and has
five stages denial, bargaining, anger, depression,
and acceptance. Move from denial to acceptance at
your own speed but don’t let it make you depressed.

 Create a list of your achievements and things

that you are grateful for in your life.
Whenever you feel depressed, read the list out loud

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to realize how great you are! Stick that list where its
always within your eyesight. It could be on fridge,
on desktop, on your door or anywhere in reach. You
need to regularly tell yourself how great you really
are, listing down the points that make you unique
and adorable. If you are kind and you make good
desert, write it down! If you are generous and a
good football player, write it down! Feel free to add
anything you love in that list. Write down
everything you love about yourself and that’s the
beginning towards self-love but only thing you need
to remember is you must believe in those words.

 Express your thoughts in creative way. You

can paint your thoughts with the help of paint and
brush. you may sing them or write them down in a
poem. Learn musical instrument and create a
soundtrack for your entire life. discover who you are
by spending more time with yourself. Arts can help
you a great deal. Getting yourself busy in creative
arts will not only reduce negativity around you, but
also give you a fantastic way to express your feelings
in a creative, enjoyable way. Writing a wonderful
therapy, as is painting or dancing. You could put
your talent to good use and perhaps paint your
house walls, create a picture or sing a birthday song

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for yourself.

 Be realistic be happy. Always be realistic about

your life and expectations. You must understand
that there is not a single person in this world who
could be happy through out his life. There are
chances that you will receive your share of un-
happiness and trauma and would be sad for days,
months, or even years. But you can not let that one
thing ruin your whole life. be positive in your
approach with clear prospective and let every
occasion in your life happen, deal with it, assess it
and overcome the difficulties with passion. What
comes up, must come down, and the same can be
said for your emotions and the amount you love
yourself. Only thing you must remember is that no
feeling stays forever, whether it is sad or happy.
Never feel sad because of an event, be positive and
happiness will come your way with the passage of
time and effort you put in.

 Stop waiting for things to happen, make an

effort and make them happen. Hard work is a
key to success. If you want a thing to happen to you
and you are totally depending on luck, that might
never happen. But if you work hard for something,
with all your available resources, and planes, there

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are greater chances that one day you will achieve

your goals. And when you achieve something,
celebrate it, this will skyrocket your self-love levels.

 Don’t seek approval for your actions from

someone else. Comparisons and needing
validation from others is a sign of poor confidence
and a lack of self-love. You need to understand that
you are good enough in yourself, and you don’t need
any approval from anyone else for that. Of they
cannot see it is not your fault. If someone doesn’t
like your presence or doesn’t love you, its his loss
not yours, No need to apologies for that.

 Be happy with what you see in mirror. Beauty

is a subjective term, and everyone has its own
description of beauty. If someone fails to see beauty
in you, its not your fault. Do not compare yourself
with anyone else, just believe in yourself that you
are beautiful in your own self. Everyone sees beauty
differently, and what one person describes as
‘beautiful’ is what someone else describes as ‘ugly’.
Be contented with what you see inn mirror and stick
with it. Never let body image ruin your life.

 you can do anything when you set your mind

to it. Don’t fix yourself in a box. You will be amazed
to see your strength, when you expand your
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thoughts. Be realistic plane your life events. If

something goes wrong, make a plane B for that. One
day you will achieve everything with believe. If you
fail because of a reason out of your control, then it
wasn’t a failing, it simply wasn’t meant to be, but at
least you tried! The fact you put yourself into the
line for the good things in life to happen means that
you were determined and focused, and for that
reason alone you should love yourself and your
persistence.

 Learn the art of waiting. Be patients, and that is

another factor that leads you towards happiness.
Patience doesn’t come so easily, you might need to
put extra effort to understand resolution. Put in
your level best, and patience will bring you fruit.
Don’t feel bad and never lose hope if you don’t see
results strait away, wait for it to happen because all
good things take time to happen.

 No one can replace you.

You are unique because no one can replace you in

this world. It is high-time you start valuing yourself,
and understand you are literally irreplaceable.
Never allow any one to take you for granted. Don’t
wait for someone to admire you, if someone can’t
see good in you, just move on.
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Be a role model and enjoy your life. never look

back or have regrets about your past. Try different
things in your life and enjoy every bit of it. Put your
effort in to make your life beautiful, believe that
your dreams will come true one day. Would you
want your children or your grandchildren to go
through life not loving who they are? Of course not!
Be a role model and show them that self-love is the
way to go, allowing them to also meet their
potential, at the same time as you.

 Express Yourself

One of the most empowering ways that you can develop

self love is to

Be unique in your style...and Show It Off. God has

given you by birth right to be yourself, and no one can take
it from you. People who have strong sense of self and
understand that they are unique, have greater levels of
self-love. Embrace your personnel look and style and be
proud of it. There is only one of you now,and there will only
be one of you for eternity.Express yourself in your own
style, don’t copy others, because it creates a sense of
comparison, and comparisons are not good for self-love.
Being bold means can mean a lot of different things to
different people. Some folks prefer a simpler look that
allows them to blend in with the crowd. Others prefer a

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more upscale style of dress or prefer to adorn themselves

casually everywhere that they go. Other people like to
express themselves in extreme ways that make them stand
out among the crowd. No matter how you choose to
express yourself, do so with love and regard for yourself
and who you are.
Be who you are and wear what to like. No matter what
others say about it. Some people dress exactly the way that
they feel while others hesitate to wear the things that they
really want to wear, style their hair in a specific way ,and
be who they really are because they fear the judgment of
others. Never limit yourself because of the fear that what
others will comment about it, because It is important to
remember that no matter what you want to do with
yourself, it is your right as a person to be an original.
The only person who is holding you back is no one else but
You. You may be surprised to find out that people are not
be as turned off or turned on by the way you choose to
appear as you think. Don’t curse yourself or be ashamed of
your personality. Only thing that matters is that you need
to make yourself happy, disregard of what others say about
it because they are not priority. If they don’t like you its not
your fault, it’s their problem.
“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who
mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind”.
-Bernard M. Baruch
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Try Something New for a Fresher You. Many of us

are not able to understand their true powers and strength
because they are too busy in their nine to five routine that
they don’t have time for surprises. Be different from time
to time and experiment with your schedule, this simple
step will lead you to new world of pleasant surprises that
you never know before. Why not go and try this simple
things:
• Be weird. Be different. Sing while driving a car.
Wear a dress with your running shoes. Shave your
head. Be crazy. Be you.

• Join communities that enhance your skills. Many

times we have desire to learn new things or develop
new skills but we don't take the time out to do it for
ourselves. Attending a workshop, or taking a short
course in cooking, or learning a new language can
help you expand your horizons and grow as a
person.

• Travel alone. Travel to a beautiful island with

strangers. Go to a club or anywhere you know.
There are likely places in your own home town that
you have never been to. Try visiting a local
restaurant, go to a cinema, or even attend a concert.
Find peace in yourself. Appreciate nature and the
beauty of life. Go out and see the world.

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 Go to whirlpool bath, fly in a mini aircraft, or enjoy

a mini shopping spree. Indulge yourself, and enjoy
doing it. Check in to a five-star hotel and get the
treatment that you deserve.

 Spend time with your friends and enjoy it. When life
becomes boring and overloaded with work, a good
outing with your buddies can help. Remember to go
out not to forget your pain, but to know that you
have other people who care and love you as you are.

 Spend a vacation at beautiful beach with your

family and loved ones. Spend time with those
people who value you. Never de-grade yourself by
spending more time with those who are have no real
connection with you.

 Try different adventures. Take risks because this

will boost your confidence. Try para gliding, rock
climbing, or even sea diving. Doing something that
requires courage and velour can ignite a spark in
you. Do something that is out of routine, this will
boost your inner self and you will start valuing
yourself.

Don’t just rely on life to take you with you, only dead
fish go with the flow. Be proud of all your wins and
work for your goals with zeal and zest. No one can

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love you more than yourself. Life is for living,

because there is always time for you to rest when
you are dead.

We all get just one life to live – and only one life to love!

Make it count.

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Chapter 12 – Applying Self-Love

At All Times

Now when you know different ways to attain self-love, you

are ready to implement it in your daily life. here is simple
self-love recipe for you to enjoy it every day. They say that
you need to do a thing seven times to make it a habit, so I
am presenting your 7 days’ challenge to Self-Love.

No need to worry if you miss an ingredient or two because

it always needs courage and stamina to achieve great
things. Just be patient, and always ready to restart again
from where you left. If you don’t feel good, just take a
break, and start again with new energy.

Everything has a pattern that you need to follow,

deliberately or un deliberately. In order to land a plane, the
pilot follows a certain pattern even he can’t see what is
ahead, but he is confident because he is on the right track.
A pianist follows certain notes and timing to produce a love
melody. A teacher follows a lesson plan. When a weaver
asks if she can weave freestyle, she refuses because she
knows she will not be able to create a beautiful piece. The
traffic flow, the ray of light, the wind blows every event in
life in a certain pattern. You are right now in a certain
pattern of your life. The things happening today are the
result of the pattern you followed. It may be how you

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respond to a question, how you react to a situation, and

how you take things. Your actions and feelings are a result
of these pattern you choose.

Now that we know how patterns work, it’s time to create

our own pattern to apply self-love in your daily life. In this
three simple step plan you can improve your self-love:

o Accept. Accept all your weaknesses and

yourself. All your slip-ups. Everything that is
you originally. Fall in love with yourself
unconditionally. You forgave yourself and
learned. You give yourself a chance to
experience life. You wanted to be happy.

How to:

 Reward yourself everyday.

 Admire yourself. Appreciate.

 If things are not going the right way assure

yourself that it is okay.

 Work out.

 Eat healthy diet.

 Meditate.

 Smile, laugh.

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o Keep good feelings whole day. This is you

indulging self-love, and taking responsibility
for your own happiness. Having the boldness
to show these wonderful things in you to
others is you owning yourself.

How to:

 Arrange party for family, friends or

colleague. Share that good feeling.

 If you find yourself in a bad situation and it

is not that impacting, let it go.

 Be helpful be friendly.

 It is okay if someone accidentally hits your

car with his bike.

 It’s okay if the waitress got your order wrong.

Let her correct it instead.

 Do one welfare to your colleague everyday .

 Help one person a day.

 If you feel anger is in your throat, take a deep

breath. If you are standing, sit, of you are
sitting, lay down.

 Know your strength and weaknesses. Be

aware of your feelings. Appreciate your good
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work. If something goes wrong, find another

way to fix it. Don’t just stick to one failure to
ruin the whole dayLet it be part of your
awareness that you have that in you. Use
your strength to overcome the outcome.

o Explore your real self. Try different

things every day. Do one thing that you want.
This is you expanding yourself and seeing
the world. This is you experiencing greater
happiness and showing it off.

How to:

 Watch a movie alone.

 Eat in a five star restaurant.

 Join a group of people you have been

avoiding because you think they’re
much better than you.

 Go to a music concert without any

company.

 Take a risk and try something new.

 Change your dress that according to

your dreams.

 Wear that best dress you had been

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saving for your date.

 Walk yourself home instead of

driving.

 Help someone who is not being

helped by anyone else.

 Attend a prayer meeting.

 Try hiking or bike race .

 Read a novel or fantasy book.

Choose at least two in each number from these examples

and do it religiously in the next seven days. You can even
add more. You can make a list of your own and follow it.
Challenge yourself. Make it a habit. Make it your own
pattern until you can’t end the day without doing so. Until
self-love becomes comfortable, until self-love becomes
you.

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Final Chapter – “I Love Myself.”

We are on the final chapter. After your journey in finding,

knowing and fighting for self-love. It is time to check if you
attained your goal!

After reading and implementing this book into your life,

you will ask yourself that do you really love yourself? If the
answer is “Yes” then how will you prove it? What are your
facts? You checked your journal and saw that you did all
that you wrote and reminded yourself to do. The result
seems to be positive. when you reach one goal don’t stop
and move on towards the next level. Reaching your goal is
actually not the end of it, but the beginning of a life full of
self-love. When you realize that all the things that you
wanted before, like attention from others, material things,
and constant sleepless nights to party, are nowhere in your
plan tomorrow then you’re on the right track.

 Go to your bed early and leave your bed early too

when you do not need to go to work. Sleep early
because your body needs that sleep to be healthy
and getting up early because you need to give
yourself extra time to start your day. You are excited
about the upcoming events in the day. You want to
take a proper care of yourself because you are on
next level of self-love and you enjoy every moment

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of your life.

 Spare some time for yourself and don’t feel

ashamed for it because this is not wrong. This time
will give you some support before depending on
others to lend it.

 Be proud of yourself, whenever you see yourself in

mirror, see yourself as better person than yesterday.
Appreciate your appearance and feel no shame on
previous mistakes.

 Involve yourself in healthy activities. Go to gym to

work out and run every day. Join a yoga class or
enrolled to a dance class. You meditate daily. Plane
your diet and eat healthy foods. You want to burn
that extra weight and shape your body into a
healthy life style. You improve yourself every day
and feel good about it.

 You wanted to look best every day. You take care of

yourself. You make sure that you are always in good
presentable condition. You keep yourself neat and
clean. You buy dress every now and then and not
just on special occasions.

 Keep a clear schedule for your daily life. you manage

your time wisely and manage your budget
meticulously. You make sure you don’t exhaust

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yourself and you know your limitations. You know

your desires and you have enough for them. You
know what you need and put extra effort achieve it.

 You are planning for next picnic party or holidays.

You wanted to explore new places you are eager to
learn new things every day.

 You surprise the people you love. You can

communicate well with people and understand
their point of view about life. you are interested in
real conversation with others.

 You have no problem to spend whole day with

yourself, infect you enjoy your company. You can sit
all day and enjoy study. You are satisfied with
yourself. You can meditate and enjoy YouTube. You
cook special recipe for yourself and you are not
worried about going anywhere on Friday or
Saturday night.

 You know your rights and practice them. Basically,

you want to do something meaningful every day like
supporting a good cause, taking part in some
charity, or volunteering yourself for some good
cause like blood donation. You forgive very easily
because there are bigger things to follow than being
involved in hating and revenge.

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 You are free to make your decisions without any

interception from others. You are not bound to
please other people. You decide what to do and
when to say no.

 You are motivated to go to work every day. Your

progress at work is improving and is visible.
Positive Change in your behavior is noticed by
others.

 You say what you like and what you dislike. You
explain yourself when needed. You choose sensible
words for every topic, in your statuses in Facebook,
twitter, and Instagram. You are well aware of
yourself without any extra effort. You are not
bothered if others don’t agree with your point of
view.

 You are free to express your feelings your own way

even when others put you down. You discard their
negative words and still prosper towards positivity.

 You always accept constructive criticism and you

have filters for negative, meaningless words. You
always criticize back without feeling hurt. You
always forget ill meaning words said about you and
you are always ready to move on.

 You set small goals and little targets for yourself.

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You work hard for them and you are patient to wait
for them until you are successful. You know you
deserve success.

 You believe in yourself. You block all event that

happened in past and are a hurdle to your bright
future. You change yourself to different situations
accordingly and don’t stick to a negative point or
downfall for too long. You believe that your future
is better than your past.

 You like adventures. You don’t feel hesitant to take

risks. You do what you want, and you are not afraid
of results. You expect the best results, but if the
things go wrong, you are not

 You are willing to take risks on achieving your

dreams. You do what you want, and you are not
afraid of the outcome. You are just expecting the
best. If things turn out bad, you are not
traumatised. You forgive yourself and move on.

1214353A lot more that you might be surprise about, self-

love is continuous, it doesn’t stop after reaching your goal.
I’m sure by now you are amazed how truly loving yourself
can change your life forever. How unbelievable it is to find
that unconditional love. It is not within anyone else but in
you. All the love that you’re looking for, all the love that

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you deserve is in you. What else can you be asking for? In

self-love there is more. This love is progressive and
balanced. The more you desire it, the more you sense
completeness, happiness and contentment.

Loving yourself comes naturally for you now. Your goals

from here are clearer, and you are working hard on
achieving them. Happiness is in you and you wanted to
explore it more. You are ready to face the world in
whatever shape and curves you might find in it.

The desire to love oneself is the quintessence of the virtue

of love.

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Conclusion

What an amazing journey that was!

Congratulations for completing the book so soon. We are

sure you must have had a great time reading this
thoughtful guide. Too often, it doesn’t take the entire world
to make us happy. The journey to attain self-love starts and
ends at the same place – yourself. Whilst you might have
started this book doubting that you would ever complete
this journey, thinking it was an impossible goal, you should
now see that the journey towards self-love can be
completed, provided you are keen and eager to complete
it. Nothing is ever easy in life, and this particular goal is
certainly one which takes a lot soul searching and hard
work.

In this book, you were able to understand the significance

of self-love and got to know more about the kind of things
that one should do in order to attain self-love. We’ve gone
through some struggles in attaining self-love based on
life’s factors. We also discussed the laws of self-love that
will make you experience this emotion in its best way with
the help of our insightful tips, we are sure you will be able
to practice self-love without any trouble. We even take the
7 days’ challenge in applying self-love in our daily lives.
Lastly, we assessed ourselves to see if we did achieve self-

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love, and how this love enveloped us in so much greatness

and happiness.

Simply reading this book and briefly pondering the ideas

herein is not enough to change the quality of your life and
to truly become more self compassionate. You must take
the time to complete the exercises in this book so that you
are able to grow and self-love everyday. Put into action the
tips that you can have learned so that you can start
improving your life and raising your level of self-love
today.

Self love is the greatest love of all, but surprisingly, not

everyone out there can understand its power. Self-love can
heal the deepest of scars and can bring a positive change in
every individual. Life is short and you should make it
count, by living every bit of it at its best. One can’t really
find happiness and contentment in chaos. Let go of the
things you don’t want in your life anymore and try to
discover yourself in the most unimaginable way.

Remember, you are born not to please anyone. All you can
do is love yourself and that should be more than enough.
Be limitless. Be who you are and fall in love with yourself
with every passing day. It is certainly the best feeling in this
world.

If you’ve got to the end of the book and you don’t feel like

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you have completed your journey, don’t worry. This isn’t

easy, as we’ve said time and time again, and it will take you
a considerable period to actually complete it. Don’t
compare your journey to anyone else’s, and simply work
through every step slowly and completely until you feel
ready to move onto the next one.

Life is a journey in itself, but the journey to self-love is one

which will make and complete your life in its entirety.

Good luck!

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