RAISING POSITIVE KIDS | ZIG ZIGLAR & MARK TIMM 1

A WORD FROM MARK TIMM

It feels as if today’s families face

unprecedented negative pressures.
In our fast-paced, tech-driven society, parents can feel bewildered as they seem to
be hit with more controversial, pressure-packed decisions to make than ever before.

The Internet, smartphones, on-demand television, video games, a struggling

economy, and collapsing morality all assault our children’s minds daily.

What is a parent to do? Where should we begin to raise our children positively?

The truth is that today’s family challenges really aren’t so different from the
challenges of the past. Every decade has had its share of problems.

Raising children today is a tough job, but it’s the most rewarding, fulfilling job you
can have.

With timeless principles and practical methods, Zig Ziglar himself set the
example as a happily married father of four positive kids. As he so often said,
it wasn’t wisdom that came from him, but wisdom that came through him that
could empower us all to win.

At Ziglar Family, we believe, as Zig did, that you and your family have what
it takes to succeed—no matter what challenges you face today.

We‘re committed to empowering you and your family to make the journey from
survival to stability, from stability to success, and from success to significance.

This eBook can help you begin to enjoy a family that wins as Zig shares essential
truths every family must know to succeed today.

Enjoy,

Mark Timm
CEO, Ziglar Family
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FROM ZIG ZIGLAR

RAISING POSITIVE
What Your Family Must Know to Succeed

What do I mean when I say “raising positive kids in a negative

world”? How is our world negative? It is negative primarily because
so much of the input is destructive and negative in a child’s mind.
Even parents will talk sometimes without thinking about the
“terrible twos” when in reality they’re the “terrific twos,” the
“tremendous threes,” the “fabulous fours,” and the “fantastic fives!”

On television all the time we see an 8-year-old completely

outwitting a father and mother—totally putting the parents down!
Seeing those examples has a negative impact, because that child
must trust and depend on that parent for positive, sound, and
morally-based advice as he or she grows.

We’ve got the same set of problems today as we had through the
centuries, but they’re substantially multiplied today. As a matter of
fact, an article pointed out that something like 90% of all the visits
to medical doctors were the direct result of stress brought on by
this high-powered, high-tech world.

Truthfully, that figure sounded a little high, so I called Dr. Frank

Minirth of the nationally-respected Minirth Clinic and asked, “This
sounds a little bit high. What do you think about it? What’s your data?
What does it show?” Without any hesitation, Frank said, “That data
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is correct, Zig. And the number-one cause of stress that we encounter

in the clinic here has to do with relationship problems.”

*
Relationships, especially our family relationships,
significantly affect both our stress levels and our
success levels in our complex world.

But just because our world is complex, doesn’t mean our path to
family success has to be complicated. A good friend of mine, Dr.
Steve Franklin, a college professor from Emory University told me,
“Zig the great truths in life are the simple ones.”

You don’t need 3 moving parts and 3 syllables in order for principles
to be significant.

There are only 3 pure colors, but look what Michelangelo did
with those 3 colors.

There are only 10 digits, but look what Einstein and Von
Braun did with those 10 digits.

There are only 7 notes, but look what Chopin and Beethoven
and Vivaldi did with those 7 notes. Look what Elvis did with 2!

Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address, maybe the most memorized

speech in American history, had only 262 words—and 202
of them are one syllable.
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Words Paint Pictures

Research now conclusively proves that your attitude and your optimism
have a direct bearing on your performance. So we want to be intentional
about getting away from the negative, even in the little things.

For example, a lot of people will say don’t give me the end of a loaf
of bread. But in reality every loaf of bread I’ve ever seen had two
beginnings! You’d be amazed at the impact on your children and
family if you will think in terms of the words we use and make
them positive instead of negative.

One of the things that deeply concerns me about families is the

language that we use. Language, you see, is the great communicator.
The tone of voice we use in dealing with each other, and most
specifically with our children, will make a big difference. It distresses
me when a parent uses filthy, barnyard, or demeaning language,
because I know that words paint pictures. And then our mind goes
to work to complete the picture.

Words can either paint a positive or negative portrait. They can be

destructive or they can be helpful.

No family can rise any

higher than the pictures that
are painted in their minds.
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You see, I’m like an optometrist. What I do is I go around the world

fitting people with new glasses. Now they’re not rose-colored glasses
by any stretch of the imagination, but they are an amazing pair of
glasses that multiplies and magnifies the opportunities which life
has to offer us, both as families and as individuals.

There are some parents who are doing a magnificent job of raising
positive kids, and there are others who are not doing quite as well.
But this wonderful pair of glasses works equally well for all, as it
multiplies and magnifies the tremendous opportunities present in life.

The most beautiful thing is these glasses multiply in your eyes all of
the good qualities, the potential that your child has in his or her life.

You’ve got to see your children’s

potential in your own mind before it starts
developing completely in their minds.

This pair of glasses also magnifies and multiplies your own potential,
because it takes a positive parent to raise a positive child.
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Your Family’s Mental Diet

There are two truths you must understand if your family is going to
succeed, and if you are going to succeed as a parent.

1
You are what you are and where
you are because of what has gone
into your mind.

The same is true of your family. Your family is what it is and where it
is because of what has gone into the minds of each family member.

The good news is that if you don’t like what you are and where you
are, you can change by changing what goes into your minds—your
mental diet.

So here’s my question: if you really want to be happy and healthy

and prosperous and secure and have friends and peace of mind, do
you regularly plant happiness, healthy, prosperous, secure peace of
mind friendship thoughts? If that’s what you want for your child, is
that what you’re planting in your child’s mind?

I don’t know how much you know about computers, but, frankly,
my knowledge of computers was fairly limited back in the day. I
only knew what the lady told me who sold me the computer—
and she flat told me a bunch! Man, I was so excited about that
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computer! I was going everywhere—north, south, east and west—

telling everybody about the new computer we’d bought and what it
was going to do: check the payroll, take care of the inventory, do the
mailings, make the coffee, clean the kitchen—absolutely everything.

But six months after we bought the computer, I put it up for sale
because it fouled things up so much. Have you ever ben mugged by
a computer? Let me tell you, we had our mailing list sending stuff
to Dr. and Mrs. William B. Jones. And Dr. and Mrs. William Jones.
And Dr. and Mrs. B. Jones. And Dr. and Mrs. Jones—all at the same
address! All told, it sent nine mailings to one address.

Then one day Dave and Marilyn Bauer came walking in our front
door and said, “Mr. Ziglar, we can make that computer of yours
laugh, talk, whistle, sing—why, we can even make it work!” I said,
“Come on in!”

It wasn’t long before that computer was the happiest computer I’d
ever laid eyes on. It was laughing, whistling, singing, working—and
it did good work, too. What did we do to make such a dramatic
difference? We changed the input. And when we changed the input,
we changed the output.

Now I know some of you might be saying, Where has that dude been?
Does he think that is profound? Why everybody in the whole world knows
that if you change the input, you change the output! Every school kid in
America knows you that if change the input, you change the output!

Oh, I disagree. Everybody’s heard it, but very few really know what
it means.
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Did you know the Bible says

We have eyes to see, but see not?

We have ears to hear, but hear not?
We have hands to feel, but handle not?

The psalmist was talking about idols, but he also was talking about
you and me. Did you know you can look right at something 10,000
times, or even 50,000 times, and still not know what’s there?

Let this life-transforming truth sink in:

If you will change the input into your

child’s life, and into your own life, you will
change the output in your family life.

2 The second truth is this:

life is tough.

If you are a parent, you already know this. Whether you are a single
parent, in a blended family, or have been happily married for fifty
years, raising kids and building a family that wins is hard work.

But this I also believe: If you will be tough on yourself, life is going to
be infinitely easier on you.
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* If you will be tough when it comes to

your family success, life will get infinitely
easier for your family.
My friend, the reality of life is that somebody is going to be tough
on you. Somebody is going to be tough on your child. What I’m
saying is this: you can choose who you want to be tough on your-
self— either you or the world.

You can choose who you want to teach

your child, either you or the world.

No, it’s not easy, but let me tell you, it can be tremendously fun,
enormously exciting, and powerfully rewarding.

You and I want the same thing. Regardless of where you live and
regardless of what you do, we all essentially want the same thing.
Everybody wants to be healthy. Everybody wants to be happy.
Everybody I’ve ever talked to wants to be at least reasonably
prosperous. Everybody wants to have peace of mind. Everybody
I’ve ever seen wants to be secure, and everybody I’ve ever seen wants
to have friends; is this not so?
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If that’s what we want, doesn’t it make sense that this is also what
we want for our children? Is there a parent reading this who does
not want those things for his or her child? I believe they do!

If that’s what we want, doesn’t it make sense to look and see what
we’ve got? Because if what you’ve got is short of what you want,
then you’d better check up and find out how you got what you got.

When we do, what we are going to discover is this: with the exception
of money, which can be inherited, everything else we’ve gotten,
we’ve gotten based on our performance—what we have done.

If we want to change what we’ve got as a family, we’ve got to change

what we do as a family.

* If you keep on doing what you’ve been

doing, you’re going to keep on getting
what you’ve been getting.

See? Simple truths. But fundamentally profound.

What are we going to do about changing our performance? Before

we change what we do, we’ve got to change what we think because
your thinking has a direct bearing on your performance.

But that doesn’t mean it will be easy. We will need to make some
tough choices. In fact, when raising our kids to be positive in a
negative world, we are responsible to let them know that every choice
they make has another bearing on something else.
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If I choose to be mean, nasty, ornery and ugly to you, I’ve chosen

to be treated in a mean, nasty, ornery and ugly manner by you. If
I am treated rudely in a store, my choice then is not to go back in.

* Everything has a choice and a consequence.

For example, for 24 years of my life by choice I weighed well over

200 lbs. Then I got sick and tired of being sick and tired. I decided
to get on an exercise and diet program. Up until then my idea of
exercise had been simply to fill the tub, take a bath, pull the plug,
and fight the current. I mean, that was it! Now that’s not much of
an exercise program any way you cut it!

The first day on my exercise program I ran one block. I did better
the next day; I ran a block and a mailbox. Then it was a block and
two mailboxes. One day, I ran all the way around the block, came
in and woke the whole family up! And one day I ran a half a mile,
then a mile, then two, then three, then four, then five.

I started doing sit-ups: only 8 the first day, then 10, then 20 then
50, then 100, then 200. I started doing push-ups: only 6 the first
day, then 8, then 10, then 20, then 40; today I do the GI pushup,
meaning I push up in the air and slap my hands while I’m in the
air. And the weight started coming down from 202 to 165. But I
want to tell you, that was the toughest 10 months I have ever spent
in my life!
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During the first stages of it, I want you to know, not only did I hate
jogging, I hated joggers! I would see one jumping up and down,
saying “Man it makes you feel so GOOD! It gives you so much
ENERGY,” and meanwhile I was hating and hurting every step!
Then one sunny day after I had been running about 9 months, I felt
the ground flowing beneath my feet as I breathed easily. All of a
sudden it dawned on me that I was having a marvelous time! I was
actually feeling good.

That day I changed my vocabulary. And I began to paint a different

picture of myself, even though it was not an easy process. I learned
that you don’t pay the price for good health, you enjoy the benefits
of good health. You don’t pay the price for success, you pay the
price for failure.

You don’t pay the price for a

successful family, you pay the price
for a family stuck in survival mode.

You enjoy the benefits of a happy and healthy family.

Is there going to be time involved in raising positive kids? You bet

there is; there’s going to be lots of time. But know this, my friend:
you will spend time in raising your kids. You will either spend time
with them when they’re little guys and gals by putting in the good,
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the clean, the pure, the powerful, and the positive, or you will spend time
with them bailing them out of trouble later on. You will spend the time.

Please don’t misunderstand: our kids are not computers; they are
flesh and blood human beings. And I’ve seen people who did
everything right and still end up, at least temporarily, losing the
battle. But I fervently believe, as a result of a tremendous amount
of thought and study and prayer and research, that you can
dramatically improve the odds in your favor.

You can reach your objective. It is not going to be easy, but it is

going to be fun. It’s going to be exciting. It’s going to be rewarding.

What I am saying is that inside of you, as parents, and inside of

your child, there is incredible physical, mental, and spiritual potential.
Each person was designed for accomplishment, engineered for
success, and endowed with the seeds of greatness. Your child and
you, too, were born to win. And so was your family.

Your family was designed for

accomplishment, engineered for success,
and endowed with the seeds of greatness.
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One of the major problems with families is that too many people
have been conditioned to lose because of the wrong input and the
wrong approach to life.

The truth of the matter is that if we all could become professional

golfers by taking two lessons, we’d all be professional golfers. If we
could become a surgeon by taking a weekend course at a university,
there would be no compensation or satisfaction from it. If we could
all become masters at a craft in a period of a three-week course, the
rewards and compensation for doing it would be way down.

It’s not easy, but as you learn, you get progressively better and better
and better as a parent. Most of us became parents the first time for
the first time. Now you might have to think about that one just for a
moment, but what I’m really saying is, there are very few instruction
manuals. But by applying these two simple truths, we can see our
families through a new pair of glasses.

You can view your child in a different light no matter how old your
child is now. It is never too late to do a good thing, and it’s never
too late to effect the positive in somebody’s life.

Don’t throw in the towel! Now is the time really to get excited
about doing more—and more than ever!
 Zig Ziglar
Affected at a very early age by the death of his father, Zig Ziglar learned firsthand the
importance of self-reliance and a balanced work ethic. Recognized by his peers as
the quintessential motivational genius of our times, Zig Ziglar’s unique delivery style
and powerful messages have earned him many honors.

Today he is considered one of the most versatile authorities on the science of human potential. For
almost fifty years, individuals and institutions have used an extensive collection of Ziglar audios,
videos, books, and training curriculum. The client list of Ziglar, Inc. reads like a Who’s Who in American and
global business. Ten of his thirty-three books have been on the best-seller lists.

A committed family man, a dedicated patriot, and an active church member, he set an example for his
four children by his marriage of more than sixty-five years to his wife, Jean, whom he lovingly called
“Sugar Baby.”

Mark Timm
After being personally influenced by Zig Ziglar as a teen, Mark became a successful
entrepreneur, founding and launching more than ten companies. His leadership and passion
have grown several of those into multi-million dollar endeavors. A talented speaker who
has spoken to more than one million people, his passion to help others win at life unites
with his love for family as CEO of Ziglar Family.

Mark is happily married to his wife Ann and treats his family of six children as the most important business
he will ever own.

He blogs at MarkTimm.com. Follow on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn.

Ziglar Family exists to help your family be the best

you can be, so your family can do all you are called
to do—together. Only then can your family expect
to have all God has imagined for it to have.