High Protocol Manual For Philly Parties - FINAL

Protocol Manual for the High Protocol Parties
- as hosted by Mistress Zeneca
Prologue
This manual states the protocols necessary to attend the High Protocol Functions
produced by Mistress Zeneca. This document makes no claims that these protocols
are/will be effective in your personal relationships or dynamics. While it is understood
that everyone has different protocols with their partner(s), this document is in no way
suggesting that these be implemented for any other reason then to attend the High
Protocol events hosted by Mistress Zeneca.
We kindly ask, that any personal protocols you may have which differ from these, that
you only practice these stated here during the High Protocol events. This will avoid
confusion and provide clarity of what is expected of everyone.
All attendees are required to read, understand, and practice the protocols relevant to their
statuses. All submissive attendees will additionally be required to perform the protocols
in the presence of the event coordinators prior to the event.
Goals
My goal in writing this manual is to explore High Protocol and share something truly
grand with our Community, an event that challenges both Dominants and Submissives.
Personal Statement
What began as an idea to simply throw a high protocol dinner party at my home has
blossomed into a full blown gala. As the realization dawned on me that there was an
incredible interest in my idea, I wanted to make it available to everyone. This has been a
labor of love for me. When I think of what the possibilities may be for such a coordinated
effort in high protocol, my heart races. Although I must say, the expenses of throwing
such a party were a huge barrier to bringing this event to life. But, despite all the
difficulties of this venture, I truly want to bring the City of Philadelphia a touch of
elegance. Maybe the efforts that we all collectively put into this event will change the
way we interact with the people in our daily lives; perhaps a little more polite talking to
the checkout girl, or just a little bit more sacrificial with our own preferences. Many
thanks to the high protocol aficionados which inspired the following texts; see “Sources.”
The proceeds of the first High Protocol Event are being donated to the Red Cross.
Protocol Manual for the High Protocol Parties - as hosted by Mistress Zeneca 1
Fetlife.com – starseer
For Videos and Event info go to: http://www.elegantlykinky.com
Theory of Submissive Service
The basic principle of submissive service can be summed up in one word: Attentiveness.
Your behavior should reflect your attentiveness to the dominant’s needs and desires at all
times. Your role is to serve those needs and desires. Is your Dominant’s coffee cup empty
or has the coffee grown cold? Does he or she need a chair to sit on? It is your job to
ensure that the Dominant’s comforts are served by making any and all appropriate
arrangements to make the Dominant’s life easy.
Similarly, it is your joyful task to demonstrate, through your attitude and demeanor, that
the Dominant’s needs come first. By demonstrating this behavior you are conveying
respect and genuine sincerity in your service. Your ability to devotedly serve your
Dominant is a standard by which others will judge you AND your Dominant. Not only
will your attentiveness please your Dominant, but it will impress those you meet. In other
words, you will be a Submissive who a Dominant is proud to own, collar and one who
others will believe is worth collaring.
“Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If

you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter
what fork you use.” – Emily Post
Rarely do we get the opportunity to display the respect and attentiveness to our
Dominants that High Protocol demands. Our days tend to run overflowing with our
vanilla life concerns. The formality of a ritual will sometimes get lost in the casual
exchanges of everyday life. Slowly the divide between dominance and submission fade to
shades of subtlety. Protocol snaps the proper behavior back into contrast with providing a
structure and basis of respectful interactions. One of the benefits of learning High
Protocol is that it establishes a level of respect by which both the Dominant and the
Submissive use to strengthen their relationship. It is a common question in the BDSM
community of what is the standard etiquette and protocol for a submissive. If you are an
un-owned submissive, this is a rare opportunity to gain fruitful training and experience. If
you are already in a relationship, then this is a great opportunity to flourish and polish
your skills to impress your dominant.
By reading this entire manual, you will know what is expected of you in most situations
and how to properly respond to display the greatest amount of respect, gratitude and
adoration. Dominants in turn will show you that they appreciate you and your service
with an equal amount of praise, politeness and courtesy for your position.
The Submissive Protocols
Attire
The Philly High Protocol Parties hosted by Mistress Zeneca require a proper dress code
for attendance. Exceptions can be made on a case by case basis, but are granted sparingly.
For the purposes of these parties and to create some simplicity, the attire has been
segregated into “Male-identified” and “Female-identified”. This is not to outcast those
who ride the divide between gender identities. For the purposes of the parties, every
Submissive must choose which identity they will be portraying that night.
For example, a female Submissive who identifies as male may opt to portray the male
role and abide by the gender specific protocols that night. A male Submissive may
choose to take on the female protocols and dress code. Submissives of either gender, or
of any gender in between, may choose what aspect they want to portray that night, BUT
whatever gender you decide to portray must be committed to completely and
wholeheartedly.
Your attire must be approved of prior to the event.
Female-identified: Formal attire.

Keep it simple and functional, basic black.
Hemlines on dresses/skirts no higher then mid-calf.
French Maid outfits are allowed as an exception.
Flowing and non-restrictive dresses/skirts. No pants.
Your outfit should not outshine a Dominant’s outfit.
Jewelry should be used in a tasteful manner, if at all.
Collars of ownership displayed proudly, if applicable.
Hairstyle should flatter your features.
Up-do’s that show off your neck are highly encouraged.
Shoes should be ballet flats or similar style of shoe. No Heels.
Optionally, you may choose to go barefoot. If so, pedicure.
Male-identified: Nice business suits or formal attire in basic black.

Keep it simple and functional - white shirts with black ties
Elegant butler attire or tuxedos are encouraged.
Pants and shirts should be neatly pressed and unwrinkled.
Kilts are allowed if wearing a formal Scottish ensemble.
Your outfit should not outshine a Dominant’s outfit.
Jewelry should be used in a tasteful manner, if at all.
Collars of ownership displayed proudly, if applicable.
Long hair should be tied back or managed to expose the neck.
Shoes should be dress shoes, polished to look their best.
Optionally, you may choose to go barefoot. If so, pedicure.
The Positions
1. Standing with Dominant – Unless otherwise directed, Submissives should stand

1 pace behind and 1 pace to the right of their Dominant.
2. Attention – This is a military position. Standing position, feet together, hands

dropped to sides, head forward, and eyes on the horizon.
3. Ready to Serve- Standing position, feet together, hands at mid waist, palms
facing up, and head bowed. You will use this position often as you are waiting for
instructions or to be in service of your dominant.
4. Courtesy – The standard display of honor to a Dominant.
a. Females: Beginning from standing position, hold your skirts at the sides
and bring them outward to the sides with your hands as if you are
displaying your skirt. Bring your right foot in front of you extended as far
as it can go, toes pointed and barely touching the floor. Pivot at the hips
and bend forward into slight bowing position while the left leg bends at
the knee. Head and eyes lower during the courtesy. Return to starting
standing position and release skirts, drop hands at sides of body.
b. Males: The right arm moves away from body and back to body at
waistline with elbow bent at a 90 degree angle in front of body. Left arm
moves away from body slightly and back to return behind the body with
elbow bend at 90 degree angle. Your arms are basically doing a flourish
before heading into the bow. Pivot at the hips and bend forward into a
bowing position, eyes and head lowered during bow. Return to standing
position with arms at sides.
5. Full Courtesy – This is a full 360 degree turn to the right with an ending courtesy
or bow as described above. Turn towards your right hand side, spinning in place
at a medium speed. When you reach your starting position, complete the Courtesy
position.
6. Listen – A hand position that displays that you are actively listening and
receptive to the Dominant’s voice. This position should be maintained when
engaged in conversation with your Dominant, waiting for a command, or
whenever prompted to. In whatever position you are in, standing or sitting, place
one hand inside the other with palms upraised. Hands should be kept close to the
body at approx waist level or on lap when sitting. Use whichever hand is most
comfortable as the one on top.
7. Requesting a Listen – This position is to request the attention or ear of a

Dominant. This position is to request that you be listened to. The LISTEN hand
position is upraised at head level near your mouth, as if motioning that you have
something to say that needs to be listened to.
8. Table – Body position to imitate a table or ottoman. Position is on hands and

knees, dress or clothing moved to a comfortable and concealing position. Knees
need not be directly touching floor (whatever is most comfortable for you with
your outfit). Position knees slightly apart in preparation for a heavy weight to be
applied to the back.
9. Slave Sit – This is the sitting command for the Submissive to sit on the floor
nearby the Dominant. Until you have earned your place at the table, this is the
sitting position that you are expected to maintain.
a. Females: Sitting on floor, knees together, and legs together on one side or
the other, almost like in a side-saddle position. Feet should be as close to
the body as possible. Keep back straight, head up and attentive to the
needs of your Dominant. Spread your dress/skirt over your feet and legs as
much as your outfit will allow. The dress should appear elegant and your
position look like it’s comfortable and easy to maintain. Lay your hands
upon your thighs with the palms up to reflect that you are ready to receive
a command. This position may also be paired with LISTEN.
b. Males: Sitting on floor, knees together, legs underneath you. If barefoot,

feet are crossed underneath buttocks so you are sitting on them. If not
barefoot, then your buttocks are resting on your heels as comfortably as
your shoes will allow. Keep back straight, head up and attentive to the
needs of your Dominant. Place your hands palm up to note your readiness
to receive a command. This position may also be paired with LISTEN.
10. Display Neck – This is the position to get your neck into a proper posture for the
Dominant to tie their ribbon around your neck as mark of temporary ownership.
This posture can be requested while in a sitting or kneeling position depending on
what would be most comfortable for your Dominant. Hands are behind head,
lifting hair out of the way. Head is facing forward but slightly away from your
Dominant, extending neck as high as you can, eyes cast downward. Full and
detailed descriptions of the ribbon tying ritual can be found in the Ribbon
Exchange Interactions section of this manual.
11. Misc Protocols
a. Be clean and dressed sharply before your arrival to the event.

b. Do more than your fair share.
c. Be flexible and ready to jump into whatever task is asked of you.
d. Use titles abundantly and whenever possible.
e. Never speak unless spoken to. You are there to serve and to be seen, not to
be heard or question.
f. Submissives will open doors for their Dominant and follow behind.
g. Submissives rise when their Dominant enters or rises, and sits when their
Dominant sits.
h. Submissives are in equal status to each other. Domo-Submissives are of
higher status. Dominants are of the highest status.
i. Submissives posture ATTENTION when the Domo-Submissive enters as
a sign of respect.
j. Submissives will only eat when the entire table has been served and only
after their Dominants begin eating.
k. Submissives must earn their chair next to their Dominant. If they have not
earned their chair by the time dinner is served, they must eat it standing.
l. Always make sure your Dominants service ware is clean and the rims of
their glasses are un-smudged.
m. Use Please’s and Thank You’s!
The Transitions
When we move from position to position, the transitions between should be elegant and
flowing, easy and graceful. You are the attraction and your body should be worthy of
watching. All movements should look effortless. All movements should be as silent as
possible, done in a timely manner, and never appear rushed. Think of it as a graceful
ballet.
Transitioning from SLAVE SIT to a standing position
Females: From the Slave Sit position, shift your body weight so that you are moving
your body on top of your folded legs. Keep back straight as much as possible. Once you
have your folded legs underneath you, rise up slightly and move one foot so that the balls
of the foot are on the floor. Sit back onto that heel slightly and gracefully do the same
with the other foot slightly positioned ahead of the other. Once you are on the balls of
your feet, stand elegantly.
Males: From the Slave Sit position, Shift body weight towards your knees and uncross
feet underneath you. Rise up slightly and move one foot so that the balls of the foot are
on the floor. Sit back onto that heel slightly and gracefully do the same with the other
foot slightly positioned ahead of the other. Once you are on the balls of your feet, stand
elegantly.
Transitioning from standing position to TABLE position
Keeping back straight, lift skirts out of the way (if applicable). Lower yourself slowly and
carefully moving one leg behind you with toe touching the floor. Slide the toe and top of
foot carefully behind you on the floor as you lower; your foot acts like a guide and
balance point. Once your first knee is on the floor, move the second leg into position,
being careful to keep the private parts obstructed and lowered from view. Once both
knees are on the floor and your body is straight, bend at the hips to place hands on the
floor near your knees and softly slide them forward. This leads your body to get into a
hands and knees position without any jerky movements. Complete the TABLE position
by spreading the knees slightly and brace for a weight applied to your back. You may
need to adjust your garments, do so when you are adjusting yourself into the final
TABLE position.
Transitioning from a standing position to a kneeling position and back
From a standing position, use the instructions on transitioning to TABLE position and
stop when you are at a full standard kneel. From this standard kneeling position to get
back to a standing position, reverse it. In other words, shift your body weight to one leg.
Move your free leg to position the foot slightly ahead of where your knee was. You
should be resting your weight on the ball of your foot. Make sure to keep the bend leg
pointed down towards the floor as much as possible to prevent viewing the private area.
Rise up from this position, using the toe from the kneeling leg to guide you up.
The Walk
Your walk should be as silent as possible so as to not distract or annoy any Dominant
with your presence. The key words with your walk should be “floating”. While you may
be rushing around for your Dominant or in service to the House, your movements should
not look rushed. Grace and ease is the energy you want to convey. You may move
quickly, but you do not look rushed.
“Every action in company ought to be with some sign of respect

to those present.” – George Washington
The walk is an essential part of the experience and is similar to a dance movement. Each
foot strikes the ground first with the balls of the foot, then the heel only slightly as you
move to the next step. Each step is placed directly in front of the other in a single line, or
as close to a single line as possible. Walking this way eliminates the side to side waddle
and up and down head bobbing of the normal walking gait.
The walk should be smooth, as silent as possible, and as light on your feet as possible.
Serving
In the effort to build an environment of grace and elegance, each Submissive is

responsible for identifying and employing ways of incorporating graceful movement into
his or her presentation style. Do it with a flourish or a grand gesture. Here are some
guidelines to guide you.
1. Please refrain from pointing. All gestures where a pointing finger might be
appropriate are instead gestured with the entire hand. These gestures are more polite
then using the pointer finger. Your hand position may be an open hand with 4 fingers
together and the thumb tucked in – almost like a karate chop. Or your hand may have
one or more fingers touching your thumb forming a squashed O – similar to the
position your hand would be inside a hand puppet.
2. When you direct a Dominant somewhere, lead them to it. Think of the waiter or
waitress that leads you to your table for your meal; it’s the same principle. If your
Dominant asks where the restrooms are, say “Follow me please.” Lead him/her to the
appropriate restroom, and wait outside patiently for their exit so you may lead
him/her back to the party.
3. Try to think one step ahead of your Dominant. Anticipate their needs and watch
for signs that they need something. If it’s a refill of their drink or a new napkin, make
motions to provide it before they ask for it. If you are unsure if the Dominant would
like a refill, then politely ask, “(insert Dominant’s preferred name here), would you
like me to bring you ABC?” Jump into action if the Dominant makes a request.
4. Service with a SMILE. Remember, this night is about your Dominant. It may be
difficult to remember protocols or exactly how to do something, but your attitude and
energy must be positive at all times. Be attentive and your Dominant will appreciate
the effort.
5. When in doubt, ask the Domo-Submissives. The Domo-Submissives are the

“Switches” of this event; those that work both sides of the D/s coin or are Dominants
that have stepped in to help with this event. These are the slave coordinators and will
give you your assignments and duties. The Domos are also well versed in the party
protocol and may advise if an issue arises. The Domos are to be treated with the same
respect that you give Dominants, but without the pomp and circumstance. They are
there to help you and to make the High Protocol Parties flow smoothly. They are the
indirect liaisons between you and your Dominant for the event; they will be your
guide.
6. Never reach across a Dominant. Reaching across the table to set something down
isn’t polite and can be downright rude. So instead, move yourself to the best location
to reach that glass or plate without disturbing your Dominant. Please remember you
will always serve from the right and clear from the left.
Important Serving Protocols
The serving stance which remains the most polite is one that places the private areas
away from the Dominant’s table.
Males: When serving drinks for your table, bend at the hips, keeping your back straight,
positioning your private areas away from the table but parallel. It’s like serving while
bowing.
Females: To ensure that all private areas are politely contained, all female-identified
Submissives will serve using the “Bunny Dip” method. This method of service was
created in the Playboy Gentleman’s clubs in the 1960’s. The Bunny Dip allowed the girls
to serve drinks without bending over the table and giving the gentlemen a free show.
How to do the “Bunny Dip”: Hold your serving tray with your non-dominant
hand. Position your body so that you are standing at the table with your backside
facing the table (or at minimally with your side facing the table). Grasp the drink
with your dominant hand, gracefully lean backwards while bending at the knees.
Place the drink on the table with a smooth and fluid motion. For more stability in
this stance, move the foot on the side holding the tray slightly backwards and
toward the table while bending the knees. The important aspect of this is the
backwards (or semi-backwards) arch made during the serving. It is beautiful to
watch and elegant to demonstrate.
“Courtesy is cheap to provide and it pays great dividends.” – Truett Cathy
The Dominant Protocols
Attire
The Philly High Protocol Parties hosted by Mistress Zeneca require a proper dress code
for attendance. Exceptions can be made on a case by case basis, but are granted sparingly.
As a Dominant, you have the freedom to wear your best clothing, your most elaborate
ensemble, or your most decadent fetish attire. This night is for you and how you dress
should reflect your dominance. There are only a few rules:
- Formal Attire – Formal means that you should be dressed to the nines. Even if
that attire does not include a top hat or a tuxedo, you should be wearing
something that makes you feel proud and stately.
- Dress for expected service-oriented play – If you are seeking to get a foot
massage, then wear footwear that is easily removable. If you are seeking a back
massage, then wear a low-backed dress or something that is easily removable
without being vulgar.
- Period Costuming – You may opt to dress in an upper class French-inspired
frock to coordinate with the party’s theme. It is not necessary or expected, but if
you so care to then feel free.
Punctuality
You are responsible to make certain that your Submissive arrives at least 30 minutes
before the beginning of the party. It is imperative that they arrive early to go over the plan
and prepare for the dominant party guests. Your arrival may be within 15 minutes of the
posted party starting time. While it is important that your Submissive arrives on time, you
may arrive on a delayed schedule. If you arrive WITH your Submissive and your
submissive is late, they will need to be taken away for a briefing and may not return to
you until dinner.
“A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone's feelings

unintentionally.” – Oscar Wilde
A Note on Etiquette
High Protocol events are all about displaying the absolute best behavior and
respectfulness to Dominants and Submissives alike. Everything you say or do is a
reflection on you and yours. As a Dominant, it is your responsibility to lead by example.
Submissives want to serve a Dominant they can respect. A bit of formality in your voice
and demeanor displays that you can show proper respect to those which serve you. Good
manners beget good manners. Appreciate your Submissive by always treating them with
the respect that you want to be treated with. “Please” and “Thank you” go a long way.
A Few Rules for Formal Dining
There are entire books written on formal dining and proper etiquette, it may behoove you
to read up on some of these texts so you know how to properly conduct yourself. I have
stated here a few bare basics.
• Introduce yourself to the fellow Dominants at your table.

• Once you pick up a piece of cutlery, you should never put it back on the
tablecloth.
• Sit up straight and keep your elbows off the table.
• If you are drinking alcohol, please imbibe lightly.
• Dining should begin and end in synch with the other members of your table. Do
not start eating until everyone at your table has been served.
• Cut only enough food for the next mouthful.
• Refrain from talking with a full mouth.
• Put butter on your plate first instead of directly on the roll.
• When using the fork, the prongs face downward. The fork is not designed to be a
shovel, so please don’t use it as thus.
• Dominant gentlemen rise for Dominant ladies and sit when they sit.
• Leave your napkin on the seat or arm of a chair when you leave the table
temporarily.
• When you are not finished with your plate, place your knife and fork on your
plate in a St. Andrews Cross formation with the prongs of the fork pointed down.
• When you are finished with your plate, place your knife and fork at the 10:20
position with the prongs of the fork down and the knife blade facing inward.
• Use your Please’s and Thank You’s for EVERYONE at the High Protocol Party.
• It is proper to give up something small for yourself for the comfort of someone
else.
“Good manners are made up of petty sacrifices.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
Party games
During the High Protocol Party there will be games and entertainments. While the
specifics of each game will be expressed during the event, there are a couple key things
to keep in mind.
- Not everyone will be able to play the party games. VIP ticket holders will have
first choice to participate in a party game.
- The games are designed to be fun to watch as well as fun to play. It is not about
winning; we are all winners if we laugh and enjoy ourselves.
- You cannot volunteer your Submissive for a game unless they have consented.
- The Dominant will respect the limits and safety of their charge.
The Partnering Ritual
Upon your arrival, you will be given a black ribbon. This ribbon is a symbol of your
temporary ownership of a Submissive for the evening. Hold onto it until the SLAVE
LINE has begun.
At the onset of the party, once the cocktail period has completed, it will be announced
that the SLAVE LINE will begin. All Submissives will immediately congregate without
needing a formal release from their Dominant.
Mistress Zeneca will then introduce each Submissive to the audience. The Submissive
will then step forward.
If the Submissive is an owned Submissive, then he/she states to whom they serve and are
released immediately to their Dominant. The Dominant then ties the black ribbon loosely
around their neck to indicate their ownership.
If the Submissive is un-partnered, then the Submissive states their service specialties and
special talents, and then returns to the line.
Once all Submissives have been introduced, VIP ticket holders are called out in ORDER
OF TICKET PURCHASE, to select their preferred Submissive for the evening.
If the Submissive accepts the Dominant, he/she will place their hand on their heart and
bow their head in reverence, smile, and go to their Dominant. Any colored ribbons are
removed and the black ribbon is tied on in replacement.
If the Submissive declines the Dominant, he/she will fold their hands in front of
themselves at lap height and drop their head to stare at their feet. The Dominant then
chooses another Submissive. It is not a point of ill-regard for a Submissive to deny a
Dominant. This is a two-way interaction and both parties must consent. If a Dominant is
denied by three Submissives, then a call for a Submissive volunteer is spoken. If there are
no volunteers, one will be assigned to the Dominant at the end of the SLAVE LINE
ritual.
The colored ribbons on the Submissive’s necks have different meanings.
Black – Owned or temporarily owned for the evening.

Red – Un-partnered and available for immediate service.
Blue – Currently serving the HOUSE and attending to the needs of the party.
White – Domo-Submissive status. These are the slave coordinators and handle all
problems and issues relating to the party or to protocols.
Once VIP ticket holders have been partnered for the evening, the remaining Submissives
are assigned to the various tables. Ratio of Dominants to Submissives depends entirely on
participation.
Interactions between Dominants and Submissives
This handy guide will give you an inside peek into how typical interactions are meant to
transpire as well as how to display the utmost politeness in conversing.
On Touching
Submissives and Dominants should not touch or be touched without previously granted
permission. Those in close relationships have implied permissions. If you are not in a
relationship, please ask before touching someone or someone’s belongings.
Submissive wants to approach a Dominant
Submissive approaches within the Dominant’s awareness and postures the

REQUESTING A LISTEN stance. The Submissive waits for recognition. Once the
Dominant has acknowledged the Submissive, the Submissive postures COURTESY or
FULL COURTESY. He/she then thanks the Dominant and says, “With respect (Sir or
Ma’am), may I speak with you?”
To offer service – Additionally say, “If it pleases you (Sir or Ma’am, please use their
correct title), I would like to offer my services for your use.”
“Manners are the shadows of virtues; the momentary display of

those qualities which our fellow creatures love and respect. If
we strive to become, then, what we strive to appear, manners
may often be rendered useful guides to the performance of our
duties.” – Sydney Smith
Dominant and Submissive are meeting another Dominant
The Submissive will treat the new Dominant with the same respect and deference that the
Submissive shows to their Dominant. The Submissive may stand behind and to the right
of their Dominant until requested to greet the newcomer. The Submissive will only raise
a hand to greet if the newcomer does so first. Responding to an introduction the
Submissive may say, “(Sir or Ma’am, proper title is always preferred) it is an honor to
meet you.” Followed by a COURTESY or FULL COURTESY posture.
When you’ve forgotten a name
For Dominants or Submissives alike – If you have forgotten someone’s name or title,
simply ask, “Please beg my pardon, but how do you prefer to be addressed?”
Dominant wants to approach an un-partnered Submissive
The Dominant should approach the Submissive and allow time for the Submissive to
come to ATTENTION. The Dominant should then ask, “Hello, Are you free to speak
with me?” The Submissive can then indicate a simple Yes or No response in the form of
nodding and eye contact. Remember to only speak when necessary
To request service – Additionally, the Dominant may state, “Would you do me the
honor of…. (Insert service request)?” The Submissive may then answer Yes and perform
the service or No and indicate their decision with a statement spoken politely such as,
“With respect, (Sir or Ma’am), I do not know you (or insert other reason) and therefore
must refuse your request.” It is wise for Dominants to remember that service by a sub is
a gift that cannot be demanded.
Submissive meeting another Submissive
Interactions between Submissives are more casual but to be polite, always ask, “May we
speak freely?” If a Submissive is attached or currently performing service, they will have
a right to say No or direct you to speak to their Dominant for permission. Otherwise, be
polite and helpful whenever possible. It’s an “All for one, one for all” attitude.
“There is no policy like politeness; and a good manner is the

best thing in the world either to get a good name, or to supply
the want of it.” – Edward Bulwer-Lytton
The Ribbon Exchange Interactions

During the course of the evening, the colored ribbons will be exchanged several times
depending on the required duties of each Submissive. As one goes from serving a
Dominant to serving the House these ribbons are exchanged. Here are a few examples
that you may be faced with.
SLAVE LINE has partnered you with a Dominant
Submissive approaches the Dominant, performs COURTESY or FULL

COURTESY. The Dominant will then say, “Do you accept my ribbon this
evening and serve to the best of your abilities?” The Submissive indicates their
acceptance by gently kissing the Dominant’s shoes and remaining in a kneeling
position. The Dominant will then request the DISPLAY NECK position. Once the
ribbon is tied loosely, the Submissive should stand and posture COURTESY or
FULL COURTESY once again, then position themselves in a STANDING WITH
DOMINANT position if Dominant is still standing. If the Dominant is sitting or at
the Dominant’s request the Submissive may move into a SLAVE SIT position.
You have been serving the House and seek to become Available or return to
your Dominant
Submissive seeks out a Domo-Submissive and postures the REQUESTING A

LISTEN position, holding that position until the Domo acknowledges. The
situation is discussed with the Domo in polite but casual language. Once the
Domo has agreed to allow the change in your status, the Domo will remove the
Blue ribbon. The Submissive is then free to tie the Red ribbon around their own
neck or seek out their Dominant so the Black ribbon can be put back on. The
Submissive postures COURTESY or FULL COURTESY upon their return to
their Dominant. The Dominant will then ask, “Do you accept my ribbon this
evening and serve to the best of your abilities?” The Submissive indicates their
acceptance by gently kissing the Dominant’s shoes and remaining in a kneeling
position. The Dominant will then request the DISPLAY NECK position. Once the
ribbon is tied loosely, the Submissive should stand and posture COURTESY or
FULL COURTESY once again and attend to their Dominant as before.
You are with your Dominant and a Domo approaches you for House duties
The Submissive rises to ATTENTION position when the Domo-Submissive

approaches. The Domo-Submissive requests to speak to the Dominant with a
REQUESTING A LISTEN posture. Once acknowledged by the Dominant, the
Domo explains the situation in formal and polite language. The Dominant cannot
refuse the House duty request, but may request that a previous task given to the
Submissive be completed before continuing. If the two have come to an
agreement, the Dominant removes the Black ribbon and hands over the
Submissive to the Domo (or directs him/her to see the Domo after the task has
been completed). The Submissive stands at ATTENTION with the Domo until
he/she has been acknowledged. The Domo then gives a DISPLAY NECK
command and ties the Blue ribbon around the neck and tasks him/her with a duty.
Service has concluded with a Dominant
Once service has been concluded and the Dominant seeks to release you, the
Dominant will politely indicate that with, “Thank You for your service. I am
honored by your gift. I release you with many thanks.” The Dominant will then
request the DISPLAY NECK posture to remove the Black ribbon. The Red ribbon
can then be tied by the Submissive around their own neck and return to the
Domo-Submissive for House duties or SLAVE SIT in an area that indicates
availability.
Dominant would like to keep you in service for the rest of the evening
If service with a Dominant has concluded, but the Dominant wishes to keep you
in service for the remainder of the evening, the Dominant will politely ask,
“Would you do me the honor of serving me for the rest of the evening?” To
accept, place your hand over your heart and bow head much like in the Partnering
Ritual. Once accepted, service may continue to the end of the High Protocol
Event and beyond if both parties agree. You may feel free to end High Protocol
interactions once the High Protocol portion of the evening is concluded. You may
go into a more casual dynamic if both parties are so inclined.
Earning your chair

In order to sit at the table with your Dominant for dinner you will have to earn your seat.
To earn your chair, you must be attentive and graceful with your service, perform all
tasks given to you quickly and elegantly, and be attentive to the needs of the Dominants.
There are no hard and fast rules for HOW to earn your chair. Well behaved Submissives
may eat with their Dominant(s) only after they have been given permission.
It is the Dominant’s prerogative to allow a Submissive to sit or not. You earn your chair
by performing the protocols and by showcasing your outstanding servitude to your
Dominant’s needs. Once you have performed to the satisfaction of the Dominant, he/she
may allow you to move from the SLAVE SIT position on the floor to the use of a chair.
He/She may give the chair freely at any time before dinner is served.
To ask a Dominant if you have earned your chair
Perform REQUEST A LISTEN posture, and wait for acknowledgment. Once

acknowledged by the Dominant, politely ask, “With respect, (Sir or Ma’am), have I
earned a chair at your side for dinner this evening?” If serving multiple Dominants,
direct the question to the group as a whole.
If the answer is No, then you may follow up with the question, “How may I improve
upon my service?” The Dominant(s) may task you with something, point out protocol
mishaps, request service, or may ask you questions. The Dominant may not request
services that you are not comfortable providing or are outside the scope of this event.
If a Submissive has not earned their chair by the time that dinner has been served, the
Submissive must eat in a standing position at the table when their Dominant begins to eat.
Plates are set on the table when using both utensils and raised to be held in hands to take
a bite.
Correcting Protocol Errors
At the first High Protocol Party, there will be no punishment for protocol mishaps. It is
understood that these protocols and the commitment that it requires to perform is new to
many people. Therefore, there will be no capital punishments for any protocol errors.
“If thou are a master, be sometimes blind; if a servant be

sometimes deaf” – Thomas Fuller
It is requested that Dominants turn a blind eye to protocol errors if the intention by the
Submissive is sincere. The Dominant may however point out continuous protocol
mishaps by politely reminding them of the correct procedure by requesting a LISTEN
posture and stating, “It is my responsibility to guide you into the correct protocol. I
humbly request a moment to do so now.” Once the Submissive has agreed, the Dominant
then politely corrects the behavior. The Submissive must not take whatever the
Dominant says personally or to heart. The Submissive must turn a deaf ear to any
phrasing that the Dominant may use which may seem critical. The Dominant is interested
in helping, not to intentionally hurt.
This conversation must be done discretely as to not offend or distract other party-goers. It
is preferable that these types of corrections be whispered into an ear whenever possible.
Apologies for minor protocol stumbles or clumsiness
If the Submissive steps in front of someone or bumps into them, the Submissive should
say, “(Sir or Ma’am), please excuse my misstep. I apologize for (insert offense) to you
(Sir or Ma’am).
If the Submissive realizes that a protocol was missed, the Submissive should say, “(Sir or
Ma’am), please excuse my error. I apologize for (insert offense) and I will correct my
behavior.”
Apologies for larger social gaffes
If the Submissive or Dominant has harmed or hurt someone needlessly or through

carelessness, the offender must do more then apologize, he/she must ask for that person’s
forgiveness. A Domo-Submissive should be called over to mediate the apology.
The apology and request for forgiveness must be sincere and include the following
elements - Acknowledgement of the offense, Recognizing your responsibility, Explaining
why you made the mistake, Acknowledging the discomfort you’ve caused, Showing
sincere regret and genuine concern over the injury, Apologizing for the pain or
discomfort, Attempting or offering to rectify the situation, and Asking for forgiveness
over the offense.
In Conclusion
If you’ve sat and read this entire manual, I commend you. If you have decided to
participate, I congratulate you. This is a commitment and has truly been an experience for
growth – both for me personally and those within the community that have chosen to rise
up to the challenge.
I offer assistance and guidance for anyone seeking to participate. Personal and group
classes are now being offered to learn this manual and hone the skills needed to perform
all that is requested.
All future High Protocol Events hosted by Mistress Zeneca will be based upon this
manual with minor adjustments to party specific details. So, even if you cannot
participate, you are welcomed to learn the protocols for potential future events.
Please feel free to contact me on Fetlife.com under the name: Starseer
Sources & Inspirations

“Play Nice: Some Notes on Scene Etiquette and Leather Protocol” by Ambrosio
High Protocol Demo & Dinner events by APEX Dungeon
High Protocol Party by Power Exchange Club
“The Way of It: How to establish a Protocol” by Laura Antoniau
BDSM Protocols 101- Master Dale’s Lifestyle Community Bulletin board
“Etiquette: The Blue Book of Social Usage” by Emily Post
“Protocol for the BDSM Submissive” by DeitersDomain.com
Fetlife.com message boards: High Protocol, Protocol, Victorian Lifestyle, Proper

Etiquette for submissives and slaves
Fetlife.com Users: Match_Stick & BellaVonKiss
Special Thanks to Fetlife.com message boards: Philly Friends, Philly TNG, The
Submissives and Mistresses of Philly, Young Philly Urban Kinksters

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What is the basic principle of submissive service?

What is the basic principle of submissive service?

What should submissives do if they make a protocol error?

What should submissives do if they make a protocol error?

Protocol Manual for the High Protocol Parties

- as hosted by Mistress Zeneca

“Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If

Your attire must be approved of prior to the event.

Female-identified: Formal attire.

Male-identified: Nice business suits or formal attire in basic black.

1. Standing with Dominant – Unless otherwise directed, Submissives should stand

2. Attention – This is a military position. Standing position, feet together, hands

4. Courtesy – The standard display of honor to a Dominant.

7. Requesting a Listen – This position is to request the attention or ear of a

8. Table – Body position to imitate a table or ottoman. Position is on hands and

b. Males: Sitting on floor, knees together, legs underneath you. If barefoot,

a. Be clean and dressed sharply before your arrival to the event.

Transitioning from SLAVE SIT to a standing position

Transitioning from standing position to TABLE position

Transitioning from a standing position to a kneeling position and back

“Every action in company ought to be with some sign of respect

In the effort to build an environment of grace and elegance, each Submissive is

5. When in doubt, ask the Domo-Submissives. The Domo-Submissives are the

Important Serving Protocols

“Courtesy is cheap to provide and it pays great dividends.” – Truett Cathy

“A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone's feelings

• Introduce yourself to the fellow Dominants at your table.

“Good manners are made up of petty sacrifices.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

The colored ribbons on the Submissive’s necks have different meanings.

Black – Owned or temporarily owned for the evening.

Submissive wants to approach a Dominant

Submissive approaches within the Dominant’s awareness and postures the

“Manners are the shadows of virtues; the momentary display of

Dominant and Submissive are meeting another Dominant

When you’ve forgotten a name

Submissive meeting another Submissive

“There is no policy like politeness; and a good manner is the

The Ribbon Exchange Interactions

SLAVE LINE has partnered you with a Dominant

Submissive approaches the Dominant, performs COURTESY or FULL

Submissive seeks out a Domo-Submissive and postures the REQUESTING A

The Submissive rises to ATTENTION position when the Domo-Submissive

Service has concluded with a Dominant

Earning your chair

To ask a Dominant if you have earned your chair

Perform REQUEST A LISTEN posture, and wait for acknowledgment. Once

“If thou are a master, be sometimes blind; if a servant be

Apologies for minor protocol stumbles or clumsiness

Apologies for larger social gaffes

If the Submissive or Dominant has harmed or hurt someone needlessly or through

Please feel free to contact me on Fetlife.com under the name: Starseer

Sources & Inspirations

High Protocol Demo & Dinner events by APEX Dungeon

High Protocol Party by Power Exchange Club

“The Way of It: How to establish a Protocol” by Laura Antoniau

BDSM Protocols 101- Master Dale’s Lifestyle Community Bulletin board

“Etiquette: The Blue Book of Social Usage” by Emily Post

“Protocol for the BDSM Submissive” by DeitersDomain.com

Fetlife.com message boards: High Protocol, Protocol, Victorian Lifestyle, Proper