Parents Guide To Tennis Coaching
Parents Guide To Tennis Coaching
Parents Guide To Tennis Coaching
My measure of success is not whether I coach a player who ends up turning professional, or
winning Wimbledon, or representing Belbroughton Tennis Club or their school. Of course
that would be nice! But actually my measure of success is whether players that I teach are
building a love of the sport, and are still playing, and loving the sport in 10 or 20 or 50 years.
Children should be exposed to lots of different activities and sports. Encourage them to find
something that they love.
If your child has ambitions to be a professional sportsperson, encourage them to play as
many different sports as they can. Each different sport will provide them with a different
skill set, challenge them in different ways, and will help their bodies to grow evenly.
Specialisation in just one sport at too young an age can lead to an imbalanced body that is
very strong in some places, but also very weak in other areas and this can lead to injuries.
‘Tell me, and I forget. Teach me, and I remember. Involve me, and I learn’. Benjamin
Franklin.
‘A great coach will tell you things you may not like hearing. A great coach will make you do
things you may not like doing. A great coach will help you achieve things you may not think
possible’.
‘A word of encouragement during a failure is worth more than an hour of praise after
success’.
Tennis is primarily an individual sport, and even though that makes it extremely challenging
for junior players, it also means playing competitive tennis can help your child learn
invaluable life skills, such as self-discipline, self-reliance and respect for others.
Individual sports can teach children to work hard, to learn to manage stress, to perform
under pressure, and to learn to try and keep emotional control in a very challenging
situation.
Focus mostly on performance and process, instead of focusing only on results or outcomes.
Reward effort and hard work ahead of success. AVOID rewarding only results.
Promote the perspective that tennis is only a sport, emphasising its value as a preparation
for life. AVOID making tennis bigger than life by for instance, placing more importance on
tennis than school work.
As a tennis parent, try to understand and have empathy with the emotional pressures and
the complexity of the sport itself. AVOID underestimating the stresses of an individual sport
like tennis.
Give your children tasks and responsibilities which will in time, build self-confidence and
independence. AVOID making them overly dependent on you.
Ensure that the tennis competitive experience is a positive one, principally from the
perspective of developing the person. Emphasise the important elements of sportsmanship,
ethics, personal development, responsibility and a positive attitude towards others and by
doing so, share with your child a healthy interest in a great sport. AVOID allowing training
and competition to become a negative experience for your child.
Realise that children not only have the right to participate in tennis but also, to choose NOT
to participate.
Let your child know you care and are there if they need you to help them. AVOID becoming
over involved in your child’s tennis.
Be prepared to listen and learn. AVOID thinking that you know everything about tennis.
Be supportive (financially and otherwise) reinforcing that you are happy to support your
child’s involvement in tennis. AVOID fostering guilt by making your child think that they owe
you for the time, money and sacrifices you have made.
Make your child feel valuable and reinforce self-esteem, especially when they lose.
Emphasise that ‘win, or lose, I love you just the same’.
The only expectation that you should have from your child’s involvement in tennis is that
playing tennis will help your child to become a better person and athlete. Anything else will
be a bonus. AVOID assuming or expecting that you child will become a professional tennis
player.
Compare your child’s progress with their own abilities/goals. AVOID comparing your child’s
progress with that of other children.
Encourage your child to play other sports, to build relationships and to participate in other
activities. AVOID forcing your child to focus entirely on tennis.
Tennis is a sport where each point, each tiebreak, each set, and each match is either won or
lost, that cannot be ignored.
Junior tennis players need to learn to deal with losing - it is a part and parcel of tennis.
If your child gets upset or loses emotional control after or even during a loss or match, don’t
rush straight up to them. See if they can calm themselves down, sometimes just a few
minutes of space away from everyone can do this, and help them process their own
emotions.
If your child comes to you for support, try to help them understand that losing a tennis
match is not the end of the world, and does not make them a bad person.
Commend effort and attitude, and give positive feedback first.
Talk about the match, but only if your child wants to.
Help them to recognise that all tennis players lose matches. No one wins every match they
play, in fact quite the opposite. Plenty of professional tennis players have successful careers,
but actually at the end of their career have more losses than wins.
You need to help your child separate themselves from the outcome of their performance,
and help them to let go of the notion that making mistakes and failing are two of the worst
things that they could possibly ever do. This means that both verbally and non-verbally you
have to consistently give them the message that they are not their performances.
Be disappointed WITH them, not disappointed IN them. When they fail, empathise with their
disappointment, and reflect back to them that you understand how their disappointment
feels e.g. ‘I can imagine how tough it feels to lose such a close match, I know you’re
disappointed, it is tough to lose and is not a nice feeling.’ But again, emphasise that the
result makes no difference to how you feel about them. It is their disappointment, not your
disappointment. Remember, they are not performing in their sport for you. The sport
belongs to them, they should be performing for themselves!
Roger Federer has won 55% of his career points. Andy Murray has won 54% of his career
points. The difference between them is 15 grand slam titles. Try to get your child to see that
every point is worth fighting for as it could be just one point that makes the difference.
Losing is tough. Losing with grit and grace is even tougher. Congratulate them if they
manage it, and tell them how proud you are of them for that.
Never miss an opportunity to praise. During the match, store away good things in your head
so you are able to help them recall things they did well in the match.
Language used around junior tennis players when they are competing or in the days leading up to it
can affect a player’s approach to competition.
As tennis is an individual sport, the role of a tennis parent is critical, and in the best cases parents
can give players self-confidence and enjoyment of the sport which they can carry all the way through
a match or tournament, or in the worst cases can make junior players want to quit competing or
playing all together!
This is hopefully a useful tool to help parents recognise some phrases which can be particularly
unhelpful!
These phrases are preparation for failure. You may think it makes defeat easier to deal with when it
happens, but this type of language allows players to accept defeat before they even step on to court.
Rather than giving confidence, these expressions place a burden of expectation on players. These
expectations may, or may not be justified, but it leaves players with the opportunity only to meet
expectations, or to fail. There is not a chance to feel good about success because it was supposed to
happen, and fear of failure can make them tense up.
If a player is naturally competitive, they won’t comfortably adopt the strategy, and if they do, it will
make them disengage from the competitive element. In tennis, a player wins or loses every point.
That can’t be ignored.
Many of these phrases stem from parental competition stress, which is entirely natural but
must be dealt with. Once parents become skilled at recognising and dealing with their own
reactions, useful language will be easier to find.
The aim is to develop players who thrive in a competitive environment and compete to the
best of their ability, whatever the situation is, and whoever the opponent is.
They need to learn the skill of playing in the present. Therefore, discussions in the days
leading up to a competition should concern matters which are of an immediate concern, and
which you do have control over e.g. eating and drinking well, preparing equipment, getting a
good night’s sleep.
There are no absolutes, and every player will have different needs, but the outlined strategy
above should help in most cases.
But only when the player is ready and wants to discuss the match. If they don’t want to talk about it,
don’t force them!
Alex Corretja
Highly successful Spanish tennis player! Says his parents always asked him the same 4 questions in
this order after every match:
1. You shall watch your child’s match from wherever they feel most comfortable having you -
near the court, in the clubhouse, or 10 miles away.
2. You shall not speak or signal to your child during the match, quite simply, this is against the
rules.
3. You shall remain calm during play, whether ‘your side’ is 5-0 up, or 0-5 down.
4. You shall not rush to your child at the end of the match to give them your in-depth analysis.
Win or lose, most players need time to themselves after competing.
5. You shall judge a match based on your child’s performance, effort and sportsmanship. Not
on whether they won or lost.
6. You shall not force your child to practice when they really do not want to - unless your aim is
to turn them off tennis.
7. You shall encourage your child to be as independent as possible in organising their own
tennis schedule. Success at tennis requires independent thought and action.
8. You shall not go to every single lesson, practise session or match. Your child needs to get
used to playing without you around.
9. You shall allow your child and their coach to decide what to do during lessons. Your
influence in this specialist area should be minimal.
10. You shall be a loved, respected and welcomed tennis parent, should you obey the first 9
commandments!
Incorporating matchplay and points into their lessons and/or providing them with
competitive opportunities both at our club, and other clubs.
Encouraging and valuing effort, attitude and good sportsmanship over everything else.
Recognising that if we can help kids feel good about themselves, we are halfway to whatever
it is we are trying to help them learn.
Trying to incorporate the ‘5 pillars to a successful tennis program’
1. Instruction
2. Competition
3. Practise
4. Social/belonging
5. Progression
Providing individual lessons - please ask us about these if you are interested for your child.
They can be very beneficial, even just 1 or 2 here and there can make a big difference. They
can be shared with another player.
Regular communication - if your child is coming back from lessons or competitions and
seems unhappy or unmotivated, the earlier you tell us, the easier it is to try and recognise
and address the problem before it gets too big.
If you want to chat with either of us, it is best to ask us to schedule a time (even if it’s just 5
minutes after a lesson, or a phone call). Most of the time we have lessons in a row, so if a
parents asks us questions, or ask for feedback or a chat, with the best intentions possible,
we won’t be able to do our best if we are worried about our next lesson not starting on
time.
Provide us with feedback from matches or tournaments. But if possible it is best to do this
out of ear shot of your child. You may or may not be able to give us technical feedback, but
we are also extremely interested in how your child got on with dealing with tough situations,
any scoring problems that arose, any thoughts after the match that your child gave you.
If your child seems very highly motivated to do a lot of tennis, let us know! We can help find
them another child who also wants to come down and practise, or we can even find them a
role within our coaching programme, maybe doing some hitting with a younger player.
If you think we have anything missing from our programme, or have any new ideas of things
we could incorporate please let us know.
If any of you would like to volunteer to help at any events we run, with scoring or umpiring
please let us know. We can help you if you don’t know the scoring systems, and very much
appreciate any help we can get!
12,14,16,18&Under Events Jan - March 2016
Recommended for Belbroughton Players