Microbes Definition .

pdf
by Jacqueline Peralta

Submission date: 24-Feb-2020 11:57PM (UTC-0800)

Submission ID: 1263771788
File name: Microbes_Definition_.pdf (504.13K)
Word count: 2571
Character count: 14540
Two Successes: 1) Partitioning: You've chosen and executed "chunking" and headers in a sensible way that helps readers
understand your topic. 2) The "So What?": You've made clear why we should care about microbes, how the harm and help
us. Good work! Two Challenges: 1) If you read the blue comments below, you'll see some sentences for which I've made
clarity suggestions. These are not the only sentences that are unclear. See if proofreading aloud (you can have your
software read your paper to you!) helps. 2) Proximity--your definitions of glossary words, because there are so many of
them, need to be closer to the text that first mentions them. It would be hard for a non-science major to read this and go
back and forth between the sentences and the glossary.
 delete "millions of"

try writing your one sent. def in your own

words

end of sentence (after "microscope and") is

missing

For your next paper, watch some videos on these very common sentence errors: comma splices, run-on
sentences, and compound sentences. You have these errors frequently in page 1, and less frequently after
 which part (unclear connection)

what do you mean by "not contained"?

Clearer to say SW discovered chemolithotrophic microbes, which are special because they can
obtain energy by ...

define each of these in the

sentence.
archaea twice here is confusing. Perhaps try two
sentences?

practiced by?
 explain, because they get their energy
from...

don't need this last sentence, just cite when you get
there.

careful, this is almost plagiarism.

 apart from ____?

do you mean these are the most common? or this is what they're
called?

cilia allow ciliates

Flagella allow flagellates to to...
...
continue this correction...
these are missing a journal
title
These aren't Markel's strategies. Check out "Markel on Definitions" to see these
strategies.
Microbes Definition .pdf
ORIGINALITY REPORT

9 %
SIMILARITY INDEX
4%
INTERNET SOURCES
2%
PUBLICATIONS
6%
STUDENT PAPERS

PRIMARY SOURCES

1
Submitted to University of Stellenbosch, South
Africa
1%
Student Paper

2
Jiwen Luo, Meijia Xie, Xiaoying Wang. "Green
fabrication of quaternized chitosan/rectorite/Ag
1%
NP nanocomposites with antimicrobial activity",
Biomedical Materials, 2014
Publication

3
Submitted to Holy Cross College
Student Paper 1%
4
Submitted to University of Leeds
Student Paper 1%
5
sciencing.com
Internet Source 1%
6
lifeofplant.blogspot.com
Internet Source 1%
7
www.medicalnewstoday.com
Internet Source 1%
Submitted to Lycoming College
 Student Paper
8
1%
9
en.wikipedia.org
Internet Source 1%
10
www.redorbit.com
Internet Source <1%
11
Submitted to Stourbridge College
Student Paper <1%
12
archive.org
Internet Source <1%
13
Submitted to Westside High School
Student Paper <1%
14
Submitted to San Joaquin Valley College
Student Paper <1%
15
Steven J. Dick. "Analogy and the Societal
Implications of Astrobiology", Astropolitics, 2014
<1%
Publication

Exclude quotes On Exclude matches < 4 words

Exclude bibliography On
Microbes Definition .pdf
GRADEMARK REPORT

FINAL GRADE GENERAL COMMENTS

Instructor

80
PAGE 1
/100

Text Comment. Two Successes: 1) Partitioning: You've chosen and executed "chunking" and
headers in a sensible way that helps readers understand your topic. 2) The "So What?": You've
made clear why we should care about microbes, how the harm and help us. Good work! Two
Challenges: 1) If you read the blue comments below, you'll see some sentences for which I've made
clarity suggestions. These are not the only sentences that are unclear. See if proofreading aloud
(you can have your software read your paper to you!) helps. 2) Proximity--your definitions of glossary
words, because there are so many of them, need to be closer to the text that first mentions them. It
would be hard for a non-science major to read this and go back and forth between the sentences and
the glossary.

PAGE 2

Text Comment. delete "millions of"

Text Comment. try writing your one sent. def in your own words

Text Comment. end of sentence (after "microscope and") is missing

Text Comment. For your next paper, watch some videos on these very common sentence
errors: comma splices, run-on sentences, and compound sentences. You have these errors
frequently in page 1, and less frequently after that. It's common for the first page to have the most
errors--you're just warming up! :)

PAGE 3

Text Comment. which part (unclear connection)

 Text Comment. what do you mean by "not contained"?

Text Comment. Clearer to say SW discovered chemolithotrophic microbes, which are special
because they can obtain energy by ...

Text Comment. define each of these in the sentence.

Text Comment. archaea twice here is confusing. Perhaps try two sentences?

Text Comment. practiced by?

PAGE 4

Text Comment. explain, because they get their energy from...

Text Comment. don't need this last sentence, just cite when you get there.

Text Comment. careful, this is almost plagiarism.

PAGE 5

Text Comment. apart from ____?

Text Comment. do you mean these are the most common? or this is what they're called?

Text Comment. cilia allow ciliates to...

Text Comment. Flagella allow flagellates to ...

PAGE 6

Text Comment. continue this correction...

PAGE 7

PAGE 8

Text Comment. these are missing a journal title

PAGE 9

Text Comment. These aren't Markel's strategies. Check out "Markel on Definitions" to see
 these strategies.

PAGE 10
RUBRIC: 363 DEFINITION RUBRIC

RHET. FOCUS Developing

SLO #1: Write formally and informally, in-class and out-of-class, for a variety of audiences and purposes.

ABSENT OR BELOW Audience's needs are often not recognized: terms and ideas need explanation and
BASIC language needs adjustment for the audience. Purpose (to define or term or concept)isn't
clear or achieved.

DEVELOPING Shows some attention to audience's needs, sometimes defining necessary terms and
ideas and using audience-appropriate language. Purpose (to define or term or concept)
may be unclear at times, and it may not be achieved convincingly.

PROFICIENT Shows attention to audience's needs, defining necessary terms and ideas and using
audience-appropriate language. Purpose (to define or term or concept) may be implied,
but it's clear and achieved.

ADVANCED Shows sophisticated attention to audience's needs, defining necessary terms and ideas
and using audience-appropriate language. Purpose (to define a term or concept) is clear
and achieved with style.

ETHIC RESRCH Advanced

SLO #2: Using the appropriate major’s customary citation style, ethically cite and communicate information from
a variety of discipline-appropriate sources.

ABSENT OR BELOW Omits or uses incorrectly quotation marks and/or MLA-, APA-, or Wikipedia-style (number
BASIC system) parenthetical citations and works cited list. Many citation errors. Does not cite
from a variety of discipline-appropriate sources. May be over-reliant on a single source.

DEVELOPING A few errors in quotation marks, MLA-, APA-, or Wikipedia-style (number system)
parenthetical citations and works cited list. May cite superficially from sources. May be
over-reliant on a single source.

PROFICIENT Correctly uses quotation marks and MLA-, APA-, or Wikipedia-style (number system)
parenthetical citations and works cited list. May have 1-2 citation errors. Cites from a
variety of discipline-appropriate sources.

ADVANCED Consistently and correctly uses quotation marks and MLA-, APA-, or Wikipedia-style
(number system) in-text (parenthetical) and end-of-text (reference list) citations for all
sources, whether quoted directly or paraphrased. Cites from a variety of discipline-
appropriate sources. Never over-reliant on a single source.

PERS/SUPPORT Proficient
SLO #3: Compare, evaluate, synthesize, and communicate carefully, objectively, and persuasively the relative
merits of alternative or opposing arguments, assumptions, and cultural values.

ABSENT OR BELOW Fails to support claims with specific explanations, examples, etc.. Objectivity may be
BASIC lacking.

DEVELOPING Attempts to support claims with explanations, examples, etc., but specificity and/or
 objectivity may be lacking.

PROFICIENT Usually supports the definition's claims with relevant, thorough, and specific explanations,
examples, etc.. Usually maintains objectivity.

ADVANCED Supports the definition's claims with relevant, thorough, and specific explanations,
examples, etc.. Maintains objectivity.

ORGANIZATION Advanced
SLO #4: Organize, focus, and communicate one’s thoughts clearly and effectively to address a rhetorical
situation.

ABSENT OR BELOW Organizational devices (one-sentence definition; introduction; logical partitioning; topic
BASIC sentences, headings, transitions) may be absent, unrelated to the prompt, or illogically
connected. Ps contain multiple topics or are disorganized.

DEVELOPING Organizational devices (one-sentence definition; introduction; logical partitioning; topic

sentences, headings, transitions) fit the prompt, but may be vague, too broad, or
inconsistenly or illogically linked. Ps may not be unified.

PROFICIENT Clear organizational devices (one-sentence definition; introduction; logical partitioning;

topic sentences, headings, transitions) fit the prompt and tie ideas and topics together
adequately. Ps are usually unified.

ADVANCED Clear, specific organizational devices (one-sentence definition; introduction; logical

partitioning; topic sentences, headings, transitions) fit the prompt and tie ideas and topics
together logically and seamlessly. Paragraphs are unified.

LANG & DESIGN Developing

SLO # 5: Recognize, evaluate, and employ the features and contexts of language and design that express and
influence meaning and that demonstrate sensitivity to gender and cultural differences.

ABSENT OR BELOW Spelling, syntax, diction, or punctuation errors impede readability. Language may reflect a
BASIC gender or cultural bias or be too high or too low. Design may be unconventional and
ineffective.

DEVELOPING Spelling, syntax, diction, or punctuation errors often impede readability or otherwise
distract from meaning. Style may be either too high or too low. Language may occasionally
suggest a gender or cultural bias. Design may be inconventional or ineffective.

PROFICIENT Spelling, syntax, diction, or punctuation errors are few and do not distract from meaning.
Middle-level-style. Language respects gender and cultural differences. Design is
conventional and effective.

ADVANCED Outstanding control of language, with middle-level style, including effective diction and
sentence variety. Language respects gender and cultural differences. Design is
conventional and effective.