Discernment: What Do You Really Want? How Deep Are You Willing To Go? What Are Your True Motivations?

One big part of learning how to love yourself more is learning not to take so personally other
people’s treatment of you.
Love breeds love. Peace breeds peace. And love, true love in my experience, is not an inactive
state of sitting in your own drool; it is active, and comes from a place of understanding.
Realize that how other people treat you is a reflection of how they treat themselves. They mistreat you
because they are threatened by you in some way, shape, or form. Unless they are clinical narcissists or
psychopaths, most people are deeply insecure and fearful. The more you go against the grain, the more
threatening you become to them.
As spiritual beings having a human experience, our lives are characterized by highs, lows, and plateaus. In
some periods of our lives, we’ll celebrate who we are and feel confident in our abilities. In other periods, we
will feel insecure, ugly, fat, messy, unlovable, and altogether shitty. This is all NORMAL. In fact, you might
go through this cycle within one week or even a day! Don’t be upset if you alternate between self-love and
self-hatred. It’s normal to go through ups and downs. But the more you practice embracing yourself each and
every day, the more you’ll be able to deal with what life throws at you.
Not many people talk about DISCERNMENT when it comes to learning how to love yourself more. For
instance, how can you tell truth from lies without learning how to be discerning? To learn how to be
discerning you need to question everything. Yes, this can be tiring, but it is worth every ounce of your effort.
Why? Because being discerning will help you to sort through a lot of mental rubbish, antiquated beliefs, and
harmful ideals.
both spiritual discernment and sincerity are two of the most essential and powerful principles on the spiritual
path. In a world full of sharks, spiritual discernment is the boat that allows us to safely travel through the
waters of existence. But without it, we are left flailing desperately around in the water while those who feed
off ignorance and folly come to feast on us. In order to practice spiritual discernment effectively, you have to be
honest with yourself.
What do you really want?
How deep are you willing to go?
What are your true motivations?
1. Go soul-searching and study yourself
2. Be brutally honest with yourself. Easier said than done, I know. But developing spiritual
discernment means being willing to face the hard truth and facts about yourself. Honesty and
discernment go hand-in-hand, you cannot have one without the other. One powerful but simple way
of being honest with yourself is asking the question, “Why am I feeling/doing/saying/thinking
this?” Try your best to dive deep into the core reason. If you start feeling defensive, uncomfortable or
threatened in any way, you have likely found the truth. If you feel like you want to run, stop
questioning or if you get the urge to distract yourself with something else, you have likely stumbled
Other ways of being honest with yourself include, for
upon the truth.
instance: Admitting when you make mistakes;Owning your strengths
and weaknesses;Being mindful of your thoughts, feelings, desires,
impulses, and shadows;Introspecting and reflecting on your habits,
decisions, judgments, and motivations;Humility and the willingness to
be wrong it’s essential to show self-compassion. Make sure that you
forgive yourself and treat yourself kindly, otherwise being honest will
become more traumatizing than nourishing.
3. See from other’s perspectives Explore alternative viewpoints. Look into the pros and
cons, the evidence and contradictory evidence, the for and against. Be careful of
biases.Often the realizations and discoveries of others can help fill the missing piece of
the puzzle and inspire us to connect with higher understanding.
4. Listen to your primal instincts. Pay attention to how your instincts feel in your body.
What sensations spread through you when faced with a bad decision, an ill-intentioned
person or even a dangerous situation? For instance, some people feel butterflies in their
stomach, pressure in their head, a lump rise in their throat, a feeling of dread, or like me,
tingles up and down the spine. So connect with that wise and primal part of you and use
it as an ally.
5. Seek and be receptive to feedback
6. Ask questions (and test your theories): Is this true?

Am I being genuine?
Are they being genuine?
What is an opposing perspective that might be equally as true?
What is this perspective/belief lacking?
Am I/they spiritually bypassing?
Why does this not feel right?
What is missing here?
Is this intuition or fear speaking?
Are there any hidden motivations?
 Reflect and evaluate: Find a time of day in which you feel particularly lucid (or
mentally clear) and make a habit out of exploring your thoughts, mindsets, feelings,
habits, beliefs, and shadows. Start with one area of life that you would like to evaluate, for
example, your relationships, work life, family commitments, personal goals, habits,
addictions, patterns, etc. Next, explore your thoughts and feelings towards this one area of
life. You don’t need to write a whole book – just a few lines or even words are fine. Then,
explore any dark or looming feelings you have been experiencing such as anger, anxiety,
frustration, depression, jealousy, shame, etc. Equally so, explore any overwhelmingly
positive feelings you may be having such as joy, ecstasy, immense gratitude, relief, etc.
Next, explore why you might be feeling these strong positive or negative emotions.
Explore: What is behind them?What are the pros and cons of them?What might you not be
considering?What might you be bypassing, escaping or ignoring?

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One big part of learning how to love yourself more is learning not to take so personally other

people’s treatment of you.

What do you really want?

How deep are you willing to go?

What are your true motivations?

1. Go soul-searching and study yourself

5. Seek and be receptive to feedback

6. Ask questions (and test your theories): Is this true?

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