By John Logan: Realism Ken: Imaginary Youthful Assistant of Mark Rothko
By John Logan: Realism Ken: Imaginary Youthful Assistant of Mark Rothko
By John Logan: Realism Ken: Imaginary Youthful Assistant of Mark Rothko
Realism
Ken: Imaginary youthful assistant of Mark Rothko.
Bores you?! Bores you?! — Christ almighty, try working for you for a living! — The
talking-talking-talking-Jesus-Christ-won’t-he-ever-shut-up titanic self-absorption of the
man! You stand there trying to look so deep when you’re nothing but a solipsistic bully
with your grandiose self-importance and lectures and arias and let’s-look-at-the-
fucking-canvas-for-another-few-weeks-let’s-not-fucking-paint-let’s-just-look. And the
pretension! I can’t imagine any other painter in the history of art ever tried so hard to
be SIGNIFICANT! You know, not everything has to be so goddamn IMPORTANT all the
time! Not every painting has to rip your guts out and expose your soul! Not everyone
wants art that actually HURTS! Sometimes you just want a fucking still life or landscape
or soup can or comic book! Which you might learn if you ever actually left your
goddamn hermetically sealed submarine here with all the windows closed and no
natural light — BECAUSE NATURAL LIGHT ISN’T GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU! …
Are you all conspiring against me, you with your form letters on separate letterheads
that converge into one voice? As punishment for this, your highest crime, know that
you have pushed me to eschew publication altogether. Know that you and the others
and the world at large will miss out on the rest of my work which I shall never again let
you touch with your dirty and destructive hands. My work belongs to eternity now. To
the universe of ephemera. But never to you. May you find your just punishment
knowing you have kept another genius from the hungry world who aches to hear him.
Sincerely, The Author Who Would Have Made You Famous.
Marcus:
There's this threshold when you stop complimenting weight loss. It usually comes with
other factors, like something is wrong with his teeth. Hair's thinner. Other things. Jim
was fine, and then he lost weight, and then he looked like he was hollowing out. He
was gray in places that he used to be green.
He moved out here and we were all happy about it because, you know, he's near us
and that's great. He was not doing well, sent those long e-mails that he'd send. Those
e-mails people send when their meds aren't properly calibrated He'd curse a lot. That's
what I always said. He was the kind of guy that cursed to make a joke, usually. When
he was off, though, everyone was a motherfucker, or a fucking bitch, or something like
that. It was off, you know. So we were happy he came out here. Sunshine. We could
feed him. That's what we thought.
Anyway, he would lie. He told me he had hepatitis. He did not have hepatitis. We'd
invite him over and he would just not show up. He could drive but said he didn't want
to have a car. He sold his car. This is L.A. He'd walk everywhere. Until he sort of
stopped going places very far from his home.
I used to actually have this e-mail chain with my wife and this other friend of his about
what to do, you know? We couldn't force him to go to the hospital. He never did
anything in front of us that was actually criminal. He wasn't even being dangerous. He
was warm. Grateful. But then, he'd disappear. So we were like: "Do we go over there
and go through his stuff?" What do we do? I know he went to a lot of groups, but, you
know, where were they? We even thought about having him followed. I mean, we just
talked about it. Who thinks that's actually going to be necessary, you know?
So...I...
Well to make it a shorter story, I found out he'd been in and out of the hospital. I
literally thought "At least he's going to the hospital." I took it as a good sign. Then, he
died. He went in, and didn't come out.
So...there's more to it. I don't know what you want to know. But, yes. That's what
happened. Right before New Year's Eve.