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    The 36 Questions That Lead To Love

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    The document summarizes an experiment where strangers ask each other a series of 36 personal questions in order to accelerate intimacy and foster closeness between them. The questions are broken into three sets with increasing intimacy. At the end, participants stare into each other's eyes for 4 minutes. The author recommends the full 4 minutes, saying "2 minutes is just enough to be terrified, 4 really goes somewhere." The document then lists out all 36 questions.

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    The 36 Questions That Lead To Love

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    Tes
    1K views8 pages
    The document summarizes an experiment where strangers ask each other a series of 36 personal questions in order to accelerate intimacy and foster closeness between them. The questions are broken into three sets with increasing intimacy. At the end, participants stare into each other's eyes for 4 minutes. The author recommends the full 4 minutes, saying "2 minutes is just enough to be terrified, 4 really goes somewhere." The document then lists out all 36 questions.

    Original Description:

    These questions test if you fall in love or not

    Original Title

    36 questions

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    The document summarizes an experiment where strangers ask each other a series of 36 personal questions in order to accelerate intimacy and foster closeness between them. The questions are broken into three sets with increasing intimacy. At the end, participants stare into each other's eyes for 4 minutes. The author recommends the full 4 minutes, saying "2 minutes is just enough to be terrified, 4 really goes somewhere." The document then lists out all 36 questions.

    Copyright:

    © All Rights Reserved
    Download as PDF, TXT or read online from Scribd
    Download as pdf or txt
    1K views8 pages

    The 36 Questions That Lead To Love

    Uploaded by

    Tes
    The document summarizes an experiment where strangers ask each other a series of 36 personal questions in order to accelerate intimacy and foster closeness between them. The questions are broken into three sets with increasing intimacy. At the end, participants stare into each other's eyes for 4 minutes. The author recommends the full 4 minutes, saying "2 minutes is just enough to be terrified, 4 really goes somewhere." The document then lists out all 36 questions.

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    © All Rights Reserved
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    The article discusses a study by psychologist Arthur Aron that explores whether intimacy between strangers can be accelerated by having them ask each other a specific series of personal questions. The 36 questions in the study are broken up into three sets with each set intended to be more probing than the previous one. Allowing vulnerability with another person can be difficult, so this exercise forces the issue.

    The study by Arthur Aron explores whether intimacy between two strangers can be accelerated by having them ask each other a specific series of personal questions. The idea is that mutual vulnerability fosters closeness.

    The three sets of questions in the study are Set I (questions 1-12), Set II (questions 13-24), and Set III (questions 25-36). Each set is intended to be more probing than the previous one.

    nytimes.

    com

    The 36 Questions That Lead to Love


    Daniel Jones

    6-7 minutes

    Modern Love

    Jan. 9, 2015

    In Mandy Len Catron’s Modern Love essay, “To Fall in Love With
    Anyone, Do This,” she refers to a study by the psychologist Arthur
    Aron (and others) that explores whether intimacy between two
    strangers can be accelerated by having them ask each other a
    specific series of personal questions. The 36 questions in the
    study are broken up into three sets, with each set intended to be
    more probing than the previous one.

    The idea is that mutual vulnerability fosters closeness. To quote


    the study’s authors, “One key pattern associated with the
    development of a close relationship among peers is sustained,
    escalating, reciprocal, personal self-disclosure.” Allowing oneself
    to be vulnerable with another person can be exceedingly difficult,
    so this exercise forces the issue.

    The final task Ms. Catron and her friend try — staring into each
    other’s eyes for four minutes — is less well documented, with the
    suggested duration ranging from two minutes to four. But Ms.
    Catron was unequivocal in her recommendation. “Two minutes is
    just enough to be terrified,” she told me. “Four really goes
    somewhere.”

    Set I

    1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want
    as a dinner guest?

    2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

    3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you


    are going to say? Why?

    4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

    5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

    6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the
    mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life,
    which would you want?

    7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

    8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in


    common.

    9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

    10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised,
    what would it be?

    11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as
    much detail as possible.

    12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality
    or ability, what would it be?

    Set II

    13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life,
    the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

    14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long


    time? Why haven’t you done it?

    15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

    16. What do you value most in a friendship?

    17. What is your most treasured memory?

    18. What is your most terrible memory?

    19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you
    change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

    20. What does friendship mean to you?

    21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?

    22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive


    characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.

    23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your
    childhood was happier than most other people’s?

    24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

    Set III

    25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are
    both in this room feeling ... “

    26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I


    could share ... “

    27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner,
    please share what would be important for him or her to know.

    28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this
    time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just
    met.

    29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.

    30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

    31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

    32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

    33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to


    communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having
    told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?

    34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After
    saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a
    final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

    35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find
    most disturbing? Why?

    36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on


    how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect
    back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you
    have chosen.

    TINY LOVE STORIES Discover our new weekly feature, Tiny Love
    Stories, which is essentially Modern Love in miniature — reader-
    submitted stories of no more than 100 words.
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    At Home

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    the pandemic, at home.

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    Modern Love is a weekly column, a book, a podcast — and now, in


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    betrayals and revelations.

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