The depth of romantic relationship among private university students in

Dhaka

Tariq Aziz
1812856630

ENG105.4

Submitted to
Md. Mehedi Hasan
Lecturer,
Department of English & Modern Languages,
North South University

21st January 2021

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Abstract
Bangladesh is high in numbers of young population. Among all the young adults, most of them involve in
relationships. Throughout the passage of time, people’s view about relationships has changed. They do
not only stick to the idea of a serious committed relationship now days. The effect of globalization, and
the thrive to compete with western culture have deviated the mentality of the young generation of this
country. The young adults are very often to different culture and it can be seen in their taste of
relationship. The idea of no strings attached, hook ups, one night stand, friends with benefits etc is already
known to them. But the preference of their relationship is still unknown. But deep inside the heart, the
culture of Bangladesh and its values and norms still exist. I examined this issue to come to a conclusion
what do the private university students prefer.

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Abstract ......................................................................................................................................................... 2
Introduction .................................................................................................................................................. 4
RESEARCH QUESTION ................................................................................................................................... 5
HYPOTHESIS: ................................................................................................................................................. 5
RESEARCH METHODOLOGY .......................................................................................................................... 6
Result and discussion: ................................................................................................................................... 6
Summary of Finding .................................................................................................................................... 13
Conclusion: .................................................................................................................................................. 13
Reference List.............................................................................................................................................. 14

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Introduction
Since the evolution of human civilizations, human beings have shared different kinds of relationship
among each other; romantic relationship is one of them. According to Meier & Allen (2008), “Romantic
relationships and experiences are important sources of emotional bonding and contribute to the
development of a positive self-concept and greater social integration”. Having a romantic partner gives a
person believe of reassurance, self-esteem, and love for himself. When two individuals share time,
attraction and intimacy with the aim of being together, it is known to be a romantic relationship. A
Research by Shulman and Scharf (2000) said that with the passage of time, romantic relationships come
to entail a unique connection between two partners characterized by increased levels of affiliation and
intimacy. Romantic relationships have an impact on people’s mental well-being. Long term relationships
can be named as steady dating, committed relationship or marriage. But with the course of time, due to
globalization and some other factors, the idea of long term relationship have changed. Concepts such as
“one night stands”, “flings” and “friends with benefits” have been added to the list of relationship. These
can be classified some sort of short term romantic relationship which does not include the aim to make it
last long in the long run. People’s perception about short term relationship may vary in different societies
and a standard duration of a long term relation versus a short term relationship cannot be tagged along so
easily. According to Buss and Schmitt (1993), “mating relationships can last for a few months, a few
days, a few hours, or even a few minutes” (p.204).

In reality, a lot of study has been conducted about short term and long term relationships. Kosik (2018)
explained in an online post that it is really difficult to differentiate short term and long term relationship
these days. Young adults prefer one night stands initially in the hope to find their soul mate. But none of
the research has been done in the context of our country. My interest will be to analyze the scenario
among the students.

Different people have different ideas about the preference of relationships. Long Term committed
relationships are seen as a power house by some people. As discussed earlier, long term relationships
have quiet an impact on people. Being in a long term relationship, it means to be faithful, dedicated,
exclusive and committed to the partner. If we look into the western culture, involving into a short term
relationship is highly preferable by young adults. A committed relationship requires a lot of energy to
hold it together, and compromising and sacrificing is a significant issue. According to Times of India
(2018), young adulthood is not the best time to be in a serious relationship. 20s are considered to be the
best phase of one’s life. This is the time when a young adult enters into professional life. This is the time
to explore one’s own true self. Long-committed relationship might restrain growth and one need to
understand their own needs and emotion before committing to someone else.

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Daily Trojan (2011), suggests that “a recent report by the National Center for Health Statistics shows
college students prefer short no-strings-attached relationships that are short and sexual rather than more
committed, long-term relationships”. Casual relationships are beneficial for students because they do not
have to be responsible yet. It is easy to focus on self-growth. Exploring a partner before getting involved
in commitment is wise for a student. A survey suggests that in America, after 1970s, the percentage of
ever married young males have decreased from 82% to 52% and females 88% to 65% (Oppenheimer,
2003; Russell & Furstenberg, 2005). This indicates that young adults are now less likely to involve
themselves into commitments.

Out of so many studies, perception of Bangladeshi young adults stays behind the curtain. My research
will be based on young adult students and their preference of relationships. I will try to understand their
perspective about what they think about short term relationship and long term relationship, do they
involve in it, if yes, then why etc. I hope to portray their views in a simplified manner.

RESEARCH QUESTION
 What is a short term relationship? What is a long term relationship
 What is the correlation between short-term relationship and long term relation between students
in Dhaka?
 What is the attitude of the students in Dhaka towards relationships?
 Does private university students involve in relationships? Why?
 Do private university students in Dhaka get into short term no-strings-attached relationship or
long term committed relationship? Why?

HYPOTHESIS:
Relationships can be either long term committed or short term fling. For my research, I expect that private
university undergraduate students prefer short no-strings attached relationships that are short and sexual
rather than committed long-term relationships because most of them are very career oriented. They want
to stay ahead of the competition and do not want waste their valuable time on love and romance so early.
I also believe that they might be influenced by western culture, being less emotional and more rational.
Flings also save a lot of money spent on dates whereas long term relationship is expensive on average.

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RESEARCH METHODOLOGY
For my primary research, I will conduct a survey of representative sampling of the private universities
including NSU, IUB, Brac University, Ulab and UIU. I will design a questionnaire with different types of
question required to get necessary information for my target group.

For my secondary research, I will be using internet to obtain information from articles and blogs as my
source.

Result and discussion:

Figure 1: Involvement in relationship

The pie chart above shows the involvement of students in relationship. The question was directly asked
whether they have been in to a relationship in their life. Among all the 60 undergraduate students, 48.3%
students were in a relationship more than once in their life. 34.5% students got only into a relationship
once in their life and 15.5% has never been into a relationship. An insignificant number of students lost

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their count. This clearly shows that students involve themselves into relationship but overall, this analysis
does not give a clear idea about my hypothesis.

Figure 2: Duration of relationship

Figure 2 shows the duration of relationship of the students. Among all the 60 students, when asked about
the duration of their present relationship, only 38 students responded. 44.7% relationship lasted longer
than a year where as 36.8% relationship lasted less than a year. Only 18.4% relationship lasted exactly
one year. This shows that most of the relationship was stable and long term but a significant percentage
was less than a year also. This data gave a mixed picture about my hypothesis.

Figure 3: Relationship preference

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The above pie chart shows the preference of the relationship to the students. A direct question was asked
that what they preferred. Out of all the 60 students, 91.7% students preferred long term committed
relationship; in contrast 8.3% students preferred short time relationships only. This showed that majority
of the students like the idea of being in a long term relationship. The number of students who preferred
short time relationship was very insignificant. Cohen and her colleagues (Cohen et al., 2003) showed in a
study that despite of romantic instabilities observed during 17-27years of age, young people eventually
move toward commitment to a long lasting partnership. This opposes my hypothesis.

Figure 4: Things to look for in a relationship

The pie chart in figure 4 shows what the students look for in a relationship. Different opinions were
placed in the questionnaire where 41.7% selected to have a partner sharing same values with them, 21.7%
selected to have partner who would support their dreams. Another 13.3% students selected to that
relationships give them the feeling of security. A small amount of students wanted friendship, non-sexual
intimacy and physical relationship. Overall, it reflects that students take relationships very seriously. This
is no joke to them, and they seek to have some seriousness in their relationship. This data helped me to
get a clear perspective about what do they look for most in a relationship and this is against my
hypothesis also.

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 Figure 5: Things they got from long term or short term

Figure 5 show what a student believes to receive from a long term relationship and short term
relationship. When asked about long term relationship, 41.7% students selected safety and comfort, 35%
selected peace of mind and 21.7% selected emotional support. Similarly, when asked about short term

Figure 6: Why Long Term vs Why Short term?

relationship, not committing to partners was the most significant answer with 37.9% responses. Others
selected no expectation (20.7%) and set them free to be their true self (20.7) respectively. This data gave
some important idea but the picture is still unclear. It does not indicate what do the students prefer and
why.

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Above pie chart shows the responses of all the participants where they were asked why would they
choose a long term relationship and a short term relationship. When asked specifically about long term,
56.7% said they wanted to build a future together with their partner. 25% wanted someone loving and
caring; and 13.3% wanted to share their stress with their partner. Only 3.3% students did not prefer long
term relationship. Now, when asked specifically about short term relationship, a majority of student
(75.8%) said they did not prefer short term relationship. 13.8% said it was less stressful, 5.2% said it was
exciting and liberating respectively. If we sum figure 6 with figure 5, it can be said that the students are
interested in love and commitment and strongly prefer a committed relationship to build a future together.
This evaluation helped me to test hypothesis, but it does not match my hypothesis.

Figure 7: Why not Long Term Relationship

The bar graphs in figure 7, it shows the perception of students when they were asked why they would not
choose a long term relationship. Out of all the respondents, 33.3% students believed that they would get
themselves into anxiety and depression, 28.3% believed that partners might have different goals, 18.3%
believed that it might have detrimental effect on their career goals, 11.7% believed they might get
distracted from studies and 8.3% thought to have higher stress. But this data does not guarantee that
students will prefer short term over long term.

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 Figure 8: Why choose Short Term Relationship

The graph in figure 8 shows the answers why a student would like to choose short term relationship.
Among all the participants, 45% students were too busy building themselves up and hence preferred a
short term relationship if given a chance. 15% students were scared of commitment, 13.3% students did
not want to be responsible and dependent respectively, 10% students chose it because of their sexual and
emotional needs and only 3.3% students said romantic relationships were not appealing to them. This
gives a mixed vibe about my hypothesis.

Figure 9: Marriage

Figure 9 shows the percentage about the willingness of marriage among the students. When asked,
whether the students are willing to marry their partner or not, 41.7% students said Yes, 10% said No and

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48.3% students did not decide about it yet. This reflects that irrespective of the relationship choice, a big
chunk of students are quiet not sure if their relationship will end up in marriage whereas a significant
number of students were sure about it.

Figure 10: Studies and Longterm Relationship perception

The analysis in Figure 10 shows the perception of students about long term relationship. It asked the
students whether long term relationship negatively affect their studies and career or not. Out of all the
students, 40% students were neutral about the fact, 18.3% disagreed, another 18.3% students agreed and
15% strongly disagreed. Overall, a significant percentage of students did not agree to the statement.

Figure 11: Willingness to sacrifice

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The final graph shows student’s willingness to sacrifice relationship. All 60 students were asked if, in
case, they are willing to give up their relationship because of studies or career. Majority (31.7%) students
were neutral about this statement, 25% students disagreed to this statement and 21.7% students agreed to
this statement.

Summary of Finding
From the survey analysis, most of the questions did not match my hypothesis. It is quiet certain that most
of the undergraduate students in Dhaka prefer serious and committed relationship rather than short term
relationships. Most of them crave for the feeling of security, comfort and love. There might be other
reasons like societal, religious beliefs, playing an important role in the perception which might have been
out looked. Bengali young adult undergraduate student are very loving and caring. They want to build a
home inside a heart. End of the day everyone wants to spread love and get love. .

Conclusion:
My hypothesis was wrong to a great extent. Though the students preferred long term, there might be a
significant number of students who were not honest about their feelings. Many students prefer not to
express their true self fearing they might get exposed negatively.

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Reference List

Buss, D. M., & Schmitt, D. P. (1993). Sexual strategies theory: An evolutionary perspective on human
mating. Psychological Review, 100, 204 –232. http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/0033-295X.100.2.204
Cohen, P., Kasen, S., Chen, H., Hartmark, C., Gordon, K. (2003). Variations in patterns of developmental
transitions in the emerging adulthood period. Developmental Psychology, 39, 657–669.
doi:10.1037/0012-1649.39.4.657
Kosik, A. M. (2018, August 30). Flings and Long-Term Relationships Actually Look Pretty Similar at
First. Brit. https://www.brit.co/how-to-tell-the-difference-between-a-fling-and-long-term-
relationship/
Meier, A., & Allen, G. (2008). Intimate relationship development during the transition to adulthood:
Differences by social class. New directions for child and adolescent development, 2008(119), 25
39. doi: 10.1002/cd.207
Mackinnon, S. P., Nosko, A., Pratt, M. W., & Norris, J. E. (2011). Intimacy in young adults' narratives of
romance and friendship predicts Eriksonian generativity: A mixed method analysis. Journal of
Personality, 79(3), 587-617.
Oppenheimer, V. K. (2003). Cohabiting and marriage during young men's career-development process.
Demography, 40, 127–149. doi:10.1353/dem.2003.0006
Russell, E., Furstenberg, F. F. (2005). The transition to adulthood during the twentieth century: Race,
nativity, and gender. In Settersten, R. A., Furstenberg, F. F., Rumbant, R. G. (Eds.), On the frontier of
adulthood: Theory, research, and public policy (pp. 29–75).
Shulman, S., & Scharf, M. (2000). Adolescent romantic behaviors and perceptions: Age-and gender
related differences, and links with family and peer relationships. Journal of research on
adolescence, 10(1), 99-118. https://doi.org/10.1177%2F2167696812467330
Students prefer hookups over relationships. (2011, April 6). Daily Trojan.
https://dailytrojan.com/2011/04/06/students-prefer-hookups-over-relationships/
Your 20s might not be the best age for a serious relationship. Here's why. (2018, August 2). The Times of
India. https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/life-style/relationships/your-20s-might-not-be-the-
best-age-for-a-serious-relationship-heres-why/photostory/65244155.cms

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