Public Health Agence de santé

Agency of Canada publique du Canada

Responding to Stressful
Events

Helping
Teens Cope
 Responding to Stressful Events:
Helping Teens Cope
Adolescents may be strongly affected by natural
or human-caused disasters such as earthquakes,
health emergencies, terrorist attacks or acts
of war. Even indirect exposure to such events
through media coverage may challenge their
coping skills. Teens are generally more aware
of and interested in world events than younger
children. They are also able to imagine fright-
ening events in more detail, and may become
very interested in or upset by images of
destruction.
Teens are already dealing with the many
physical, social and emotional changes of
adolescence. As they struggle to develop their
own identity and values, they typically question
and “try on” attitudes that range from cynicism
to idealism. Catastrophic events can undermine
their belief that the world is a safe place, their
sense that adults and institutions can be relied
upon, and even their confidence that life is
meaningful and that there is hope for a better
society.
It is normal for teens to have feelings of worry,
confusion, sadness, or fear when disaster, terror-
ism or war are the main focus of the news. They
need the adults in their lives to pay attention
to their feelings and reactions.
It is important to know that:

• Teens can cope with stressful situations,

and you can help them.
• They will express their feelings in different
ways, both directly and indirectly. Some of
their behaviours may puzzle or worry you
are likely to pass before long.
• One of the most important steps you can
take to help teens is to make sure that they
know they are safe and that you will be
there for them if they feel upset.
• The way you handle the situation will have
a big impact on how teens will handle it.
Pay attention to your own reactions and
take positive steps to take care of yourself.
(For some hints on how to do this, check

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Responding to Stressful Events

out another brochure in this series,

“Taking Care of Ourselves, Our Family
and Our Community.”)

Some Reactions to Expect

In general, teens are resilient. Most are strong,
sensible and have good social support systems
that will help them cope. They tend to respond
well to tragic events, often looking for ways to
help. Others may appear to ignore, play down,
or “tune out” disturbing events. Nevertheless,
a major stressful event can have a number of
effects on teens. Here is a list of some common
reactions:

• Worries, fears, and anxiety about their

safety and the safety of family and friends
• Fear of other violent events or war
• Negative ideas about and mistrust of others,
particularly those of different backgrounds
• A significant increase or decrease in time
spent with friends or doing usual activities
such as music, sports, and school
• Increase in disruptive behaviours, for
example arguing, defiance, angry outbursts
• Increased crying, sadness or depressed
feelings
• More difficulty concentrating or paying
attention
• Problems at school: poorer grades,
behaviour problems or more absences
from school
• Teens may be less active and seem tired,
or be more active, impatient and agitated
• Problems sleeping – either sleeping too
much or not enough
• Problems eating – either eating too much
or not enough
Teenagers who appear withdrawn and isolated,
and who isolate themselves from family and
friends, can be experiencing emotional difficul-
ties. Adolescents need to feel competent and
in control. However, they may be concealing
feelings that are difficult to express. They struggle
to be independent from the family and are torn

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 Helping Teens Cope

between the desire for increased responsibility

and their dependence on family and adults.
Don’t over-react. Many of these behaviours,
including a certain amount of moodiness and
arguing, can be normal features of adolescence,
which is a period of great change and challenges.
You should, however, pay attention to behav-
iours that are new and disturbing. Make use
of the suggestions in this pamphlet. If you
show understanding and support, the unusual
behaviours are likely to disappear within a short
period of time. If the behaviours are dangerous
or seriously disruptive, or if they don’t improve
after a few weeks, parents, family members or
teachers should seek help.

How to Help
Teenagers often behave as if they are invulner-
able. They may pretend not to be affected or
concerned in an effort to remain “above it all”
and “cool.” Don’t let this fool you. They may
be scared, confused, worried and in need of
1
your help.
Here are some suggestions on how to help
them cope:
Grief and Loss. Grief includes shock, denial,
anger, numbness, sadness, and confusion.
Grief is a normal response to loss of all kinds
including death and disasters. Teens need to
know that grief is not permanent, and that
people deal with it in healthy ways. We may be
changed by these events, but we learn that we
are strong, we can cope and we will be OK.

• Talk with your teens about grief and loss.

This will help them to understand and
accept their own thoughts and feelings and
to know that grief will end and they will
be OK.
• Explain that it can take time to get over a
loss.
• Encourage them to be patient with them-
selves and with others.
Honest Reassurance. Offer reassurance based
on the real steps that are being taken to

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Responding to Stressful Events

address the situation, not on wishful thinking.

Don’t tell your teens that “this will all be over
1
soon,” or that “something like this could never
happen in Canada”. Although it is unlikely, no
one can guarantee that no disasters or terrorist
acts will occur. Admit that there are things you
just don’t know. However, don’t hesitate to
say, as often as necessary, that many people
are working to ensure everyone’s safety, and
that there is little chance anything will happen
to them.
Listen to what they have to say about the
events and how they perceive them. Listen
patiently. Provide them, as best you can, with
factual information and help them distinguish
opinion from fact. Try not to lecture or inter-
1
rupt them.
Humour. Especially among their peers, teens
may crack jokes about tragedies in “an uncon-
scious effort to distance themselves from their
1
fears” and from the emotional shock of disas-
ter. This is a normal reaction. Discourage disre-
spectful jokes while not cutting off lines of
communication. There will be less of a prob-
lem if teens have the chance to discuss their
thoughts and feelings with you in an atmo-
sphere of respect.
Anger and Revenge. In response to acts of
terrorism or war, some teens may feel angry
and want revenge. Rage and a desire for ven-
geance are often based on feelings of threat,
helplessness and vulnerability. Young people
may get the message from peers or the media
that they are “supposed” to feel angry and
vengeful, that this is the attitude that will win
approval and acceptance. Turn the conversation
to the underlying feelings, tell them how you
feel and discuss positive options other than
revenge.
You may need to stop aggressive behaviour. If
this behaviour is severe or persists, you may
want to seek professional help.
Affection. Be patient with teens and with your-
self. Give your family time to cope. Find simple,
daily ways to show teens that you love them —
hugs, words of praise, fun time together.

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 Helping Teens Cope

Comforting friends. If teens have friends who

have been directly affected by a tragedy, help
1
them find ways of comforting these friends.
They may need help to know how to offer
comfort and support. They may avoid talking
to these friends out of fear of causing more
pain. On the other hand, they may identify too
closely with their friends’ pain and spend too
much time with them. Balance and keeping up
with normal routines is essential.
TV Coverage. You may want to help teens limit
their exposure to news coverage of stressful
events. Teens should not be shielded from the
facts about catastrophic events but watching too
much coverage of these events can put them
1
in an emotionally overloaded, anxious state.
Watch TV news coverage together and talk about
what you are seeing, hearing, and feeling.
Terrorism and War. Teens, like most adults, will
likely not have a good understanding of the
complex situations that lead to terrorist attacks
and armed conflict. Discussing world events and
exploring different ways of understanding them
will help teens put the events into context. This
should help them feel less upset and vulnerable.
It should also help to avoid simplistic responses
like scapegoating or racism.
Maintain Family Routines. Maintain family
routines, particularly around sleeping, eating
and extracurricular activities (e.g., sports, faith
services, music, dance). This does not mean
pretending nothing has happened. Make time
in your schedule to talk about the situation and
plan how to respond positively. Maintaining
routines is an important way of ensuring that
basic needs are met.
Decision making. If teens are quite upset by
these events, it may not be a good time for them
to make important decisions. Encourage them
to take the time they need to think things over.
Appropriate adult behaviour and responses.
Tell teens what you think and feel about the
events so they can understand them better.
They will gain confidence to deal with their own
feelings if you show them that you have strong
feelings and that you can cope with them in

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Responding to Stressful Events

healthy ways. Talk to teens’ friends about their

responses to the situation. This can help them.
Vulnerable Teens. Stressful events and an
ongoing climate of uncertainty and worry
can have a greater impact on teens who are
vulnerable. This may include teens who have
experienced serious bullying, difficult family
separations, deaths in the family, family violence,
sexual assault, a traumatic refugee experience,
clinical depression, an anxiety disorder or other
mental illness, a history of drug/alcohol abuse,
self-injury or suicide attempts. Some vulnerable
teens may experience a return or worsening of
mental health problems or unhealthy behav-
iours, up to and including suicide attempts.

Helping Activities for Teens

Teens need to participate in activities that help
them feel better. They may find some of these
activities useful:

• Relaxing Activities. Encourage relaxing

activities such as reading, listening to music,
taking a walk, riding bikes, etc.
• Diaries. Some teens benefit from writing
their thoughts and feelings in a diary.
• Recreational Activities. Teens need to
return to previous fun activities. Vigorous
physical activities and sports help reduce
stress, make people feel more alert, happy
and energetic.
• Volunteering helps teens grow up caring,
confident, and responsible. It will also help
them deal with events in a positive way.
Suggest they call the volunteer bureau in
their community to find out more about,
for example, helping elementary children
with reading and homework, visiting senior
citizen centres, assisting at an animal shelter,
working with Special Olympics.
• Fundraising. Organizing a fundraising
event (for example, a carwash) to aid
those in need is one way of channelling
concern, compassion and energy in a
positive way.
• Peer Group Activities. Encourage activities
where teens can get together with their

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 Helping Teens Cope

friends to discuss what happened, share

their thoughts and try to make sense of
events.

When to Seek Help

Teens are amazingly flexible and resilient and
their parents and teachers are capable of helping
them deal with the situation. However, getting
additional help is a good idea if a teen shows
significant changes in behaviour in the weeks
or months following stressful events. Some of
these changes could include:

• Behaviour problems at home or school

• Learning problems
• Angry outbursts
• Ongoing withdrawal from usual social
activities or being with their friends
• Frequent nightmares or other sleep
disturbances
• Physical problems such as nausea,
headaches, weight gain or loss
• Feeling very anxious or afraid
• Ongoing sadness or depression
• Hopelessness about life or the future
• Increased risk-taking or problems with the
law
• Abuse of alcohol, street drugs, medicines
or solvents
• Suicidal thinking or behaviour
Some teens may be more at risk for a persistent
or strongly negative response, or even for suicidal
behaviours. Be particularly watchful and prepared
to seek professional help if there are signs of
poor coping.
Following a stressful event, some teens have
found it helpful to talk with a health professional
such as a physician, a psychologist, a social
worker, a nurse or a psychiatrist who can help
them understand and deal with how they are
feeling.

1
Carleton Kendrick, “Helping Teens Cope with the
September 11 Tragedy” (familyeducation.com)

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Responding to Stressful Events

Acknowledgments
This document was revised by the Mental Health
Support Network of Canada, a network of
professional and voluntary associations con-
cerned about mental health and the stress arising
from extreme stressors.
Much of the information in this document was
developed following the September 11, 2001
terrorist attacks on the United States using
information put together by Health Canada with
input from the Canadian Medical Association,
Canadian Psychological Association, Canadian
Psychiatric Association and the Canadian Public
Health Association.
Mental Health Support Network of Canada,
Members:

• Canadian Association of Occupational

Therapists
• Canadian Association of Social Workers
• Canadian Healthcare Association
• Canadian Medical Association
• Canadian Mental Health Association
• Canadian Nurses Association
• Canadian Paediatric Society
• Canadian Pharmacists Association
• Canadian Psychiatric Association
• Canadian Psychological Association
• Canadian Public Health Association
• Canadian Red Cross
• The College of Family Physicians of Canada
• Public Health Agency of Canada

February 2005

This pamphlet has been published by the Public Health

Agency of Canada, Ottawa, Ontario K1A 0K9.
It can be reproduced freely for non-profit educational purposes
or as part of a public awareness initiative, provided that full
acknowledgment of the source is made. For more information
about the psychosocial dimension of emergency prepared-
ness, see the Personal Services manual at:
http://www.phac-aspc.gc.ca/emergency-urgence/index_e.html.

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 Helping Teens Cope

Coping resources in your

community
Please use this space to list the names and
telephone numbers of key resources and
programs in your community (including friends
and family you can call to talk things over).