Lady Windermere's Fan
Lady Windermere's Fan
Lady Windermere's Fan
A PLAY
ABOUT A GOOD WOMAN
By Oscar Wilde
Act 1
Enter PARKER
LADY WINDERMERE [Hesitates for a moment]: Show him up - and I'm at home to
anyone who calls.
Exit C.
LADY WINDERMERE: It's best for me to see him before tonight. I'm glad he's
come.
Enter PARKER C.
LADY WINDERMERE: How do you do, Lord Darlington? No, I can't shake hands
with you. My hands are all wet with these roses. Aren't they lovely? They
came up from Selby this morning.
LORD DARLINGTON: They are quite perfect. [Sees a fan lying on the table.]
And what a wonderful fan! May I look at it?
LADY WINDERMERE: Do. Pretty, isn't it! It's got my name on it, and
everything. I have only just seen it myself. It's my husband's birthday
LADY WINDERMERE: Yes, I'm of age today. Quite an important day in my life,
isn't it? That is why I am giving this party tonight. Do sit down. [Still
arranging flowers.]
LORD DARLINGTON [Sitting down]: I wish I had known it was your birthday,
Lady Windermere. I would have covered the whole street in front of your
house with flowers for you to walk on. They are made for you. [A short
pause.]
LADY WINDERMERE: Lord Darlington, you annoyed me last night at the Foreign
Office. I am afraid you are going to annoy me again.
Enter PARKER and FOOTMAN C., with tray and tea things
LADY WINDERMERE: Put it there, Parker. That will do. [Wipes her hands with
her pocket-handkerchief, goes to tea-table L., and sits down.] Won't you
come over, Lord Darlington?
Exit PARKER C.
LORD DARLINGTON [Takes chair and goes across L.C.]: I am quite miserable,
Lady Windermere. You must tell me what I did. [Sits down at table L.]
LADY WINDERMERE: Well, you kept paying me elaborate compliments the whole
evening.
LORD DARLINGTON [Smiling]: Ah, nowadays we are all of us so hard up, that
the only pleasant things to pay are compliments. They're the only things we
can pay.
LADY WINDERMERE [Shaking her head]: No, I am talking very seriously. You
mustn't laugh, I am quite serious. I don't like compliments, and I don't
see why a man should think he is pleasing a woman enormously when he says
to her a whole heap of things that he doesn't mean.
LORD DARLINGTON: Ah, but I did mean them. [takes tea which she offers him.]
LORD DARLINGTON [Still seated L.C.]: Oh, nowadays so many conceited people
go about Society pretending to be good, that I think it shows rather a
sweet and modest disposition to pretend to be bad. Besides, there is this
to be said. If you pretend to be good, the world takes you very seriously.
If you pretend to be bad, it doesn't. Such is the astounding stupidity of
optimism.
LADY WINDERMERE: Don't you want the world to take you seriously then, Lord
Darlington?
LORD DARLINGTON: No, not the world. Who are the people the world takes
seriously? All the dull people one can think of, from the Bishops down to
the bores. I should like you to take me very seriously, Lady Windermere,
you more than anyone else in life.
LADY WINDERMERE: I think we're very good friends already, Lord Darlington.
We can always remain so as long as you don't -
LADY WINDERMERE [Leaning back on the sofa]: You look on me as being behind
the age. - Well, I am! I should be sorry to be on the same level as an age
like this.
Enter PARKER C.
PARKER: The men want to know if they are to put the carpets on the terrace
for tonight, my lady?
LADY WINDERMERE: You don't think it will rain, Lord Darlington, do you?
Exit PARKER C.
LORD DARLINGTON: Yes, I think she should - I think she has the right.
LADY WINDERMERE: Because the husband is vile - should the wife be vile
also?
LORD DARLINGTON: Do you know I am afraid that good people do a great deal
of harm in this world. Certainly the greatest harm they do is that they
make badness of such extraordinary importance. It is absurd to divide
people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious. I take the
side of the charming, and you, Lady Windermere, can't help belonging to
them.
LADY WINDERMERE: Now, Lord Darlington. [Rising and crossing R., front of
him.] Don't stir, I am merely going to finish my flowers. [Goes to table
R.C.]
LORD DARLINGTON [Rising and moving chair]: And I must say I think you are
LORD DARLINGTON: Well then, setting mercenary people aside, who, of course,
are dreadful, do you think seriously that women who have committed what the
word calls a fault should never be forgiven?
LORD DARLINGTON: And men? Do you think that there should be the same laws
for men as there are for women?
LADY WINDERMERE: If we had 'these hard and fast rules', we should find life
much more simple.
LORD DARLINGTON: Ah, what a fascinating Puritan you are, Lady Windermere!
Enter PARKER C.
DUCHESS OF BERWICK [Coming down C., and shaking hands]: Dear Margaret, I
am
so pleased to see you. You remember Agatha, don't you? [Crossing L.C.] How
do you do, Lord Darlington? I won't let you know my daughter, you are far
too wicked.
LORD DARLINGTON [Standing L.C.]: Very small, very early, and very select,
Duchess.
DUCHESS OF BERWICK [On sofa L.]: Of course it's going to be select. But we
know that, dear Margaret, about your house. It is really one of the few
houses in London where I can take Agatha, and where I feelperfectly secure
about dear Berwick. I don't know what society is coming to. The most
dreadful people seem to go everywhere. They certainly come to my parties -
the men get quite furious if one doesn't ask them. Really, someone should
make a stand against it.
LADY WINDERMERE: I will, Duchess. I will have no one in my house about whom
there is any scandal.
LORD DARLINGTON [R.C.]: Oh, don't say that, Lady Windermere. I should never
be admitted! [Sitting.]
DUCHESS OF BERWICK: Oh, men don't matter. With women it is different. We're
good. Some of us are, at least. But we are positively getting elbowed into
the corner. Our husbands would really forget our existence if we didn't nag
at them from time to time, just to remind them that we have a perfect legal
right to do so.
LORD DARLINGTON: It's a curious thing, Duchess, about the game of marriage
- a game, by the way, that is going out of fashion - the wives hold all the
honours, and invariably lose the odd trick.
DUCHESS OF BERWICK: The odd trick? Is that the husband, Lord Darlington?
LORD DARLINGTON: It would be rather a good name for the modern husband.
DUCHESS OF BERWICK Dear Lord Darlington, how thoroughly depraved you are!
LORD DARLINGTON: Because I think that life is far too important a thing
ever to talk seriously about it. [Moves up C.]
LORD DARLINGTON [Coming down back of table]: I think I had better not,
Duchess. Nowadays to be intelligible is to be found out. Goodbye! [Shakes
hands with DUCHESS.] And now - [Goes up stage.] - Lady Windermere, goodbye.
I may come tonight, mayn't I? Do let me come.
DUCHESS OF BERWICK [Who has risen, goes C.]: What a charming, wicked
creature! I like him so much. I'm quite delighted he's gone! How sweet
you're looking! Where do you get your gowns? And now I must tell you how
sorry I am for you, dear Margaret. [Crosses to sofa and sits with LADY
WINDERMERE.] Agatha darling!
DUCHESS OF BERWICK: Will you go and look over the photograph album that I
see there?
LADY WINDERMERE: Mrs Erlynne? I never heard of her, Duchess. And what has
she to do with me?
DUCHESS OF BERWICK: Will you go out on the terrace and look at the sunset?
LADY WINDERMERE: But what is it, Duchess? Why do you talk to me about this
person?
DUCHESS OF BERWICK: Don't you really know? I assure you we're all so
distressed about it. Only last night at dear Lady Jansen's everyone was
saying how extraordinary it was that, of all men in London, Windermere
should behave in such a way.
LADY WINDERMERE: My husband - what has he got to do with any woman of that
kind?
DUCHESS OF BERWICK: Ah, what indeed, dear? That is the point. He goes to
see her continually, and stops for hours at a time, and while he is there
she is not at home to anyone. Not that many ladies call on her, dear, but
she has a great many disreputable men friends - my own brother
particularly, as I told you - and that is what makes it so dreadful about
Windermere. We looked upon him as being such a model husband but I am
afraid there is no doubt about it. My dear nieces - you know the Saville
girls, don't you? - such nice domestic creatures - plain, dreadfully plain,
but so good - well, they're always at the window doing fancy work, and
making ugly things for the poor, which I think so useful of them in these
dreadful socialistic days, and this terrible woman has taken a house in
Curzon Street, right opposite them - such a respectable street, too. I
don't know what we're coming to! And they tell me that Windermere goes
there four and five times a week - they see him. They can't help it - and
although they never talk scandal, they - well, of course - they remark on
it to everyone. And the worst of it all is that I have been told that this
woman has got a great deal of money out of somebody, for it seems that she
came to London six months ago without anything at all to speak of, and now
she has this charming house in Mayfair, drives her ponies in the Park every
afternoon and all - well, all - since she has known poor dear Windermere.
DUCHESS OF BERWICK: But it's quite true, my dear. The whole of London knows
it. That is why I felt it was better to come and talk to you, and advise
you to take Windermere away at once to Homburg or to Aix, where he'll have
something to amuse him and where you can watch him all day long. I assure
you, my dear, that on several occasions after I was first married, I had to
pretend to be very ill, and was obliged to drink the most unpleasant
mineral waters, merely to get Berwick out of town. He was so extremely
susceptible. Though I am bound to say he never gave away any large sums of
money to anybody. He is far too high-principled for that!
DUCHESS OF BERWICK: Ah, the dear pretty baby! How is the little darling? Is
it a boy or a girl? I hope a girl - Ah, no, I remember it's a boy! I'm so
sorry. Boys are so wicked. My boy is excessively immoral. You wouldn't
believe at what hours he comes home. And he's only left Oxford a few months
- I really don't know what they teach them there.
DUCHESS OF BERWICK: Oh, all of them, my dear, all of them, without any
exception. And they never grow any better. Men become old, but they never
become good.
DUCHESS OF BERWICK: Yes, we begin like that. It was only Berwick's brutal
and incessant threats of suicide that made me accept him at all, and before
the year was out, he was running after all kinds of petticoats, every
colour, every shape, every material. In fact, before the honeymoon was
over, I caught him winking at my maid, a most pretty, respectable girl. I
dismissed her at once without a character. - No, I remember I passed her on
to my sister; poor dear Sir George is so short sighted, I thought it
wouldn't matter. But it did though - it was most unfortunate. [Rises.] And
now, my dear child, I must go, as we are dining out. And mind you don't
take this little aberration of Windermere's too much to heart. Just take
him abroad, and he'll come back to you all right.
DUCHESS OF BERWICK [L.C.]: Yes, dear, these wicked women get our husbands
away from us, but they always come back, slightly damaged, of course. And
don't make scenes, men hate them!
LADY WINDERMERE: It is very kind of you, Duchess, to come and tell me all
this. But I can't believe that my husband is untrue to me.
DUCHESS OF BERWICK: That's quite right, dear. Crying is the refuge of plain
women but the ruin of pretty ones. Agatha, darling!
LADY AGATHA [Entering L.]: Yes, mamma [Stands back of table L.C.]
DUCHESS OF BERWICK: Come and bid goodbye to Lady Windermere, and thank
her
for your charming visit. [Coming down again.] And by the way, I must thank
you for sending a card to Mr Hopper - he's that rich young Australian
people are taking such notice of just at present. His father made a great
fortune by selling some kind of food in circular tins - most palatable, I
believe - I fancy it is the thing the servants always refuse to eat. But
the son is quite interesting. I think he's attracted by dear Agatha's
clever talk. Of course, we should be very sorry to lose her, but I think
that a mother who doesn't part with a daughter every season has no real
affection. We're coming tonight, dear. [PARKER opens C. doors.] And
remember my advice, take the poor fellow out of town at once, it is the
only thing to do. Goodbye, once more; come, Agatha.
LADY WINDERMERE: How horrible! I understand now what Lord Darlington meant
by the imaginary instance of the couple not two years married. Oh! it can't
be true - she spoke of enormous sums of money paid to this woman. I know
where Arthur keeps his bank book - in one of the drawers of that desk. I
might find out by that. I will find out. [Opens drawer.] No, it is some
hideous mistake. [Rises and goes C.] Some silly scandal! He loves me! He
loves me! But why should I not look? I am his wife, I have a right to look!
[Returns to bureau, takes out book and examines it, page by page, smiles
and gives a sigh of relief.] I knew it! there is not a word of truth in
this stupid story. [Puts book back in drawer. As she does so, starts and
takes out another book.] A second book - private - locked! [Tries to open
it, but fails. Sees paper knife on bureau, and with it cuts cover from
book. Begins to start at the first page.] 'Mrs Erlynne - £600 - Mrs Erlynne
- £700 - Mrs Erlynne - £400'. Oh! it is true! it is true! How horrible.
[Throws book on floor.]
LORD WINDERMERE: Well, dear, has the fan been sent home yet? [Going R.C.
Sees book.] Margaret, you have cut open my bank book. You have no right to
do such a thing!
LORD WINDERMERE: I think it wrong that a wife should spy on her husband.
LADY WINDERMERE: I did not spy on you. I never knew of this woman's
existence till half an hour ago. Someone who pitied me was kind enough to
tell me what everyone in London knows already - your daily visits to Curzon
Street, your mad Infatuation, the monstrous sums of money you squander on
this infamous woman! [Crossing L.]
LORD WINDERMERE: Margaret! don't talk like that of Mrs Erlynne, you don't
know how unjust it is!
LADY WINDERMERE [Turning to him]: You are very jealous of Mrs Erlynne's
honour. I wish you had been as jealous of mine.
LORD WINDERMERE: Your honour is untouched, Margaret. You don't think for a
moment that - [Puts book back into desk.]
LADY WINDERMERE: I think that you spend your money strangely. That is all.
Oh, don't imagine I mind about the money. As far as I am concerned, you may
squander everything we have. But what I do mind is that you who have loved
me, you who have taught me to love you, should pass from the love that is
given to the love that is bought. Oh, it's horrible! [Sits on sofa.] And it
is I who feel degraded! you don't feel anything. I feel stained, utterly
stained. You can't realise how hideous the last six months seem to me now -
every kiss you have given me is tainted in my memory.
LORD WINDERMERE [Crossing to her]: Don't say that, Margaret. I never loved
anyone in the whole world but you.
LADY WINDERMERE [Rises]: Who is this woman, then? Why do you take a house
for her?
LADY WINDERMERE: You gave her the money to do it, which is the same thing.
LORD WINDERMERE: Her husband died many years ago. She is alone in the
world.
A pause
LORD WINDERMERE [L.C.]: Margaret, I was saying to you - and I beg you to
listen to me - that as far as I have known Mrs Erlynne, she has conducted
herself well. If years ago -
LADY WINDERMERE: Oh! [Crossing R.C.] I don't want details about her life!
LORD WINDERMERE[C.]: I am not going to give you any details about her life.
I tell you simply this - Mrs Erlynne was once honoured, loved, respected.
She was well born, she had position - she lost everything - threw it away,
if you like. That makes it all the more bitter. Misfortunes one can endure
- they come from outside, they are accidents. But to suffer for one's own
faults - ah! - there is the sting of life. It was twenty years ago, too.
She was little more than a girl then. She had been a wife for even less
time than you have.
LADY WINDERMERE: I am not interested in her - and - you should not mention
this woman and me in the same breath. It is an error of taste. [Sitting R.
at desk.]
LORD WINDERMERE: Margaret, you could save this woman. She wants to get
back
into society, and she wants you to help her. [Crossing to her.]
LORD WINDERMERE: Margaret, I came to ask you a great favour, and I still
ask it of you, though you have discovered what I had intended you should
never have known, that I have given Mrs Erlynne a large sum of money. I
want you to send her an invitation for our party tonight. [Standing L. of
her.]
LORD WINDERMERE: I entreat you. People may chatter about her, do chatter
about her, of course, but they don't know anything definite against her.
She has been to several houses - not to houses where you would go, I admit,
but still to houses where women who are in what is called Society nowadays
do go. That does not content her. She wants you to receive her once.
LORD WINDERMERE: No, but because she knows that you are a good woman -
and
that if she comes here once she will have a chance of a happier, a surer
LADY WINDERMERE: No! If a woman really repents, she never wishes to return
to the society that has made or seen her ruin.
LADY WINDERMERE [Crossing to door R.]: I am going to dress for dinner, and
don't mention the subject again this evening. Arthur [Going to him C.], you
fancy because I have no father or mother that I am alone in the world, and
that you can treat me as you choose. You are wrong, I have friends, many
friends.
LORD WINDERMERE: Ah, Margaret, do this for my sake; it is her last chance.
LORD WINDERMERE: Margaret, none of us men may be good enough for the
women
we marry - that is quite true - but you don't imagine I would ever - oh,
the suggestion is monstrous!
LADY WINDERMERE: Why should you be different from other men? I am told that
there is hardly a husband in London who does not waste his life over some
shameful passion.
LORD WINDERMERE: You are sure in your heart. But don't make chasm after
chasm between us. God knows the last few minutes have thrust us wide enough
apart. Sit down and write the card.
LADY WINDERMERE: You are going to invite this woman? [Crossing to him.]
Parker!
LORD WINDERMERE: Have this note sent to Mrs Erlynne at No. 84A Curzon
Street. [Crossing to L.C. and giving note to PARKER.] There is no answer!
Exit PARKER C.
LADY WINDERMERE: Arthur, if that woman comes here, I shall insult her.
LORD WINDERMERE: Child, if you did such a thing, there's not a woman in
London who wouldn't pity you.
LADY WINDERMERE: There is not a good woman in London who would not
applaud
me. We have been too lax. We must make an example. I propose to begin
tonight. [Picking up fan.] Yes, you gave me this fan today, it was your
birthday present. If that woman crosses my threshold, I shall strike her
across the face with it.
Enter PARKER
Parker!
LADY WINDERMERE: I shall dine in my own room. I don't want dinner, in fact.
See that everything is ready by half-past ten. And, Parker, be sure you
pronounce the names of the guests very distinctly tonight. Sometimes you
speak so fast that I miss them. I am particularly anxious to hear the names
quite clearly, so as to make no mistake. You understand, Parker?
Exit PARKER C.
LADY WINDERMERE: Us! From this moment my life is separate from yours. But
if you wish to avoid a public scandal, write at once to this woman, and
tell her that I forbid her to come here!
LADY WINDERMERE: Then I shall do exactly as I have said. [Goes R.] You
leave me no choice. [Exit R.]
Act Drop
Act 2
DUCHESS OF BERWICK [Sitting on sofa]: Just let me see your card. I'm so
glad Lady Windermere has revived cards. - They're a mother's only
safeguard. You dear simple little thing! [Scratches out two names.] No nice
girl should ever waltz with such particularly younger sons! It looks so
fast! The last two dances you might pass on the terrace with Mr Hopper.
DUMBY: Good evening, Lady Stutfield. I suppose this will be the last ball
of the season?
DUMBY: Quite delightful! Good evening, Duchess. I suppose this will be the
last ball of the season?
DUCHESS OF BERWICK: I suppose so, Mr Dumby. It has been a very dull season,
hasn't it?
MRS COWPER-COWPER: Good evening, Mr Dumby. I suppose this will be the last
ball of the season?
DUMBY: Oh, I think not. There'll probably be two more. [Wanders back to
LADY PLYMDALE.]
HOPPER: How do you do, Lady Windermere? How do you do, Duchess? [Bows to
LADY AGATHA.]
HOPPER: Capital place, London! They are not nearly so exclusive in London
as they are in Sydney.
DUCHESS OF BERWICK: Ah! we know your value, Mr Hopper. We wish there were
more like you. It would make life so much easier. Do you know, Mr Hopper,
dear Agatha and I are so much interested in Australia. It must be so pretty
with all the dear little kangaroos flying about. Agatha has found it on the
map. What a curious shape it is! Just like a large packing case. However,
it is a very young country, isn't it?
DUCHESS OF BERWICK: How clever you are, Mr Hopper. You have a cleverness
quite of your own. Now I mustn't keep you.
DUCHESS OF BERWICK: Sir James, will you take me into the ballroom? Augustus
has been dining with us tonight. I really have had quite enough of dear
Augustus for the moment.
SIR JAMES ROYSTON gives the DUCHESS his arm and escorts her into the
ballroom
PARKER: Mr and Mrs Arthur Bowden. Lord and Lady Paisley. Lord Darlington.
LORD WINDERMERE: You are talking of Mrs Erlynne, I suppose? I only met her
six months ago. Till then, I never knew of her existence.
LORD AUGUSTUS: You have seen a good deal of her since then.
LORD WINDERMERE [Coldly]: Yes, I have seen a good deal of her since then. I
LORD AUGUSTUS: Egad! the women are very down on her. I have been dining
with Arabella this evening! By Jove! you should have heard what she said
about Mrs Erlynne. She didn't leave a rag on her . . . [Aside.] Berwick and
I told her that didn't matter much, as the lady in question must have an
extremely fine figure. You should have seen Arabella's expression! . . .
But, look here, dear boy. I don't know what to do about Mrs Erlynne. Egad!
I might be married to her; she treats me with such demmed indifference.
She's deuced clever, too! She explains everything. Egad! she explains you.
She has got any amount of explanations for you - and all of them different.
LORD AUGUSTUS: Hem! Well, look here, dear old fellow. Do you think she will
ever get into this demmed thing called Society? Would you introduce her to
your wife? No use beating about the confounded bush. Would you do that?
LORD AUGUSTUS: Then she's all right dear boy. But why didn't you tell me
that before. It would have saved me a heap of worry and demmed
misunderstandings!
CECIL GRAHAM [Bows to LADY WINDERMERE, passes over and shakes hands
with
LORD WINDERMERE]: Good evening, Arthur. Why don't you ask me how I am? I
like people to ask me how I am. It shows a widespread interest in my
health. Now, tonight I am not at all well. Been dining with my people.
Wonder why it is one's people are always so tedious? My father would talk
morality after dinner. I told him he was old enough to know better. But my
experience is that as soon as people are old enough to know better, they
don't know anything at all. Hullo Tuppy! Hear you're going to be married
again; thought you were tired of that game.
CECIL GRAHAM: By the way, Tuppy, which is it? Have you been twice married
LORD AUGUSTUS: I have a very bad memory. I really don't remember which.
[Moves away R.]
LADY PLYMDALE: Lord Windermere, I've something most particular to ask you.
LADY PLYMDALE: Oh, you mustn't dream of such a thing. It's most dangerous
nowadays for a husband to pay any attention to his wife in public. It
always makes people think that he beats her when they're alone. The world
has grown so suspicious of anything that looks like a happy married life.
But I'll tell you what it is at supper. [Moves towards door of ballroom.]
LADY WINDERMERE: Will you hold my fan for me, Lord Darlington? Thanks.
[Comes down to him.]
LORD WINDERMERE [Crossing to her]: Margaret, what you said before dinner
was, of course, impossible?
LORD WINDERMERE [R.C.]: Mrs Erlynne is coming here, and if you in any way
annoy or wound her, you will bring shame and sorrow on us both. Remember
that! Ah, Margaret! only trust me! A wife should trust her husband!
LADY WINDERMERE [C.]: London is full of women who trust their husbands. One
can always recognise them. They look so thoroughly unhappy. I am not going
to be one of them. [Moves up.] Lord Darlington, will you give me back my
fan, please? Thanks . . . A useful thing a fan, isn't it? . . . I want a
friend tonight, Lord Darlington: I didn't know I would want one so soon.
LORD DARLINGTON: Lady Windermere! I knew the time would come some day;
but
why tonight?
LORD WINDERMERE starts. MRS ERLYNNE enters, very beautifully dressed and
very dignified. LADY WINDERMERE clutches at her fan, then lets it drop on
the floor. She bows coldly to MRS ERLYNNE, who bows to her sweetly in turn,
and sails into the room
MRS ERLYNNE [C.]: How do you do, again, Lord Windermere? How charming your
sweet wife looks! Quite a picture!
LORD WINDERMERE [In a low voice]: It was terribly rash of you to come!
MRS ERLYNNE [Smiling]: The wisest thing I ever did in my life. And, by the
way, you must pay me a good deal of attention this evening. I am afraid of
the women. You must introduce me to some of them. The men I can always
manage. How do you do Lord Augustus? You have quite neglected me lately. I
have not seen you since yesterday. I am afraid you're faithless. Everyone
told me so.
MRS ERLYNNE [R.C.]: No, dear Lord Augustus, you can't explain anything. It
is your chief charm.
They converse together. LORD WINDERMERE moves uneasily about the room
watching MRS ERLYNNE.
LADY WINDERMERE bows coldly, and goes off with LORD DARLINGTON
Oh, how do you do, Mr Graham? Isn't that your aunt, Lady Jedburgh? I
should so much like to know her.
MRS ERLYNNE: So pleased to meet you, Lady Jedburgh. [Sits beside her on the
sofa.] Your nephew and I are great friends. I am so much interested in his
political career. I think he's sure to be a wonderful success. He thinks
like a Tory and talks like a Radical, and that's so important nowadays.
He's such a brilliant talker, too. But we all know from whom he inherits
LADY JEDBURGH [R.]: Most kind of you to say these charming things to me!
[MRS ERLYNNE smiles, and continues conversation.]
DUMBY [To CECIL GRAHAM]: Did you introduce Mrs Erlynne to Lady Jedburgh?
CECIL GRAHAM: Had to, my dear fellow. Couldn't help it! That woman can make
one do anything she wants. How, I don't know.
DUMBY: Hope to goodness she won't speak to me! [Saunters towards LADY
PLYMDALE.]
DUMBY: Haven't got the slightest idea! Looks like an edition de luxe of a
wicked French novel, meant specially for the English market.
MRS ERLYNNE: So that is poor Dumby with Lady Plymdale? I hear she is
frightfully jealous of him. He doesn't seem anxious to speak to me tonight.
I suppose he is afraid of her. Those straw-coloured women have dreadful
tempers. Do you know, I think I'll dance with you first, Windermere. [LORD
WINDERMERE bites his lip and frowns.] It will make Lord Augustus so
jealous! Lord Augustus! [LORD AUGUSTUS comes down.] Lord Windermere insists
on my dancing with him first, and, as it's his own house, I can't well
refuse. You know I would much sooner dance with you.
LORD AUGUSTUS [With a low bow]: I wish I could think so, Mrs Erlynne.
MRS ERLYNNE: You know it far too well. I can fancy a person dancing through
life with you and finding it charming.
LORD AUGUSTUS [Placing his hand on his white waistcoat]: Oh, thank you,
thank you. You are the most adorable of all ladies!
MRS ERLYNNE: What a nice speech! So simple and so sincere! Just the sort of
speech I like. Well, you shall hold my bouquet. [Goes towards ballroom on
LORD WINDERMERE's arm.] Ah, Mr Dumby, how are you? I am so sorry I have
been out the last three times you have called. Come and lunch on Friday.
LADY PLYMDALE [To MR DUMBY]: What an absolute brute you are! I never can
believe a word you say! Why did you tell me you didn't know her? What do
you mean by calling on her three times running? You are not to go to lunch
there; of course you understand that?
LADY PLYMDALE: You haven't told me her name yet! Who is she?
DUMBY [Coughs slightly and smoothes his hair]: She's a Mrs Erlynne.
DUMBY: Why?
LADY PLYMDALE: Because I want you to take my husband with you. He has been
so attentive lately, that he has become a perfect nuisance. Now, this woman
is just the thing for him. He'll dance attendance upon her as long as she
lets him, and won't bother me. I assure you, women of that kind are most
useful. They form the basis of other people's marriages.
[They pass into the ballroom, and LADY WINDERMERE and LORD DARLINGTON
enter
from the terrace.]
LADY WINDERMERE: Yes. Her coming here is monstrous, unbearable. I know now
what you meant today at tea-time. Why didn't you tell me right out? You
should have!
LORD DARLINGTON: I couldn't! A man can't tell these things about another
man! But if I had known he was going to make you ask her here tonight, I
think I would have told you. That insult, at any rate, you would have been
LADY WINDERMERE: I did not ask her. He insisted on her coming - against my
entreaties - against my commands. Oh! the house is tainted for me! I feel
that every woman here sneers at me as she dances by with my husband. What
have I done to deserve this? I gave him all my life. He took it - used it -
spoiled it! I am degraded in my own eyes; and I lack courage - I am a
coward! [Sits down on sofa.]
LORD DARLINGTON: If I know you at all, I know that you can't live with a
man who treats you like this! What sort of life would you have with him?
You would feel that he was lying to you every moment of the day. You would
feel that the look in his eyes was false, his voice false, his touch false,
his passion false. He would come to you when he was weary of others; you
would have to comfort him. He would come to you when he was devoted to
others; you would have to charm him. You would have to be to him the mask
of his real life, the cloak to hide his secret.
LADY WINDERMERE: You are right - you are terribly right. But where am I to
turn? You said you would be my friend, Lord Darlington. - Tell me, what am
I to do? Be my friend now.
LORD DARLINGTON: Yes, I love you! You are more to me than anything in the
whole world. What does your husband give you? Nothing. Whatever is in him
he gives to this wretched woman whom he has thrust into your society, into
your home, to shame you before everyone. I offer you my life -
LORD DARLINGTON: My life - my whole life. Take it, and do with it what you
will . . . . I love you - love you as I have never loved any living thing.
From the moment I met you I loved you, loved you blindly, adoringly, madly!
You did not know it then - you know it now! Leave this house tonight. I
won't tell you that the world matters nothing, or the world's voice, or the
voice of society. They matter a great deal. They matter far too much. But
there are moments when one has to choose between living one's own life,
fully, entirely, completely or dragging out some false, shallow, degrading
existence that the world in its hypocrisy demands. You have that moment
now. Choose! Oh, my love, choose!
LADY WINDERMERE [moving slowly away from him, and looking at him with
startled eyes]: I have not the courage.
LORD DARLINGTON [Following her]: Yes; you have the courage. There may be
six months of pain, of disgrace even, but when you no longer bear his name,
LORD DARLINGTON: And you would take him back! You are not what I thought
you were. You are just the same as every other woman. You would stand
anything rather than face the censure of a world, whose praise you would
despise. In a week you will be driving with this woman in the Park. She
will be your constant guest - your dearest friend. You would endure
anything rather than break with one blow this monstrous tie. You are right.
You have no courage; none!
LADY WINDERMERE [Rising from the sofa]: Then, not at all! [A pause.]
LORD DARLINGTON: Tomorrow I leave England. This is the last time I shall
ever look on you. You will never see me again. For one moment our lives met
- our souls touched. They must never meet or touch again. Goodbye,
Margaret. [Exit.]
DUCHESS OF BERWICK: Dear Margaret, I've just been having such a delightful
chat with Mrs Erlynne. I am so sorry for what I said to you this afternoon
about her. Of course, she must be all right if you invite her. A most
attractive woman, and has such sensible views on life. Told me she entirely
disapproved of people marrying more than once, so I feel quite safe about
poor Augustus. Can't imagine why people speak against her. It's those
horrid nieces of mine - the Saville girls - they're always talking scandal.
HOPPER [L.C.]: Awfully sorry, Duchess. We went out for a moment and then
got chatting together.
HOPPER: Yes!
DUCHESS OF BERWICK: And what answer did you give him, dear child?
DUCHESS OF BERWICK [Affectionately]: My dear one! You always say the right
thing. Mr Hopper! James! Agatha has told me everything. How cleverly you
have both kept your secret.
HOPPER: You don't mind my taking Agatha off to Australia, then, Duchess?
DUCHESS OF BERWICK: Agatha, you say the most silly things possible. I think
on the whole that Grosvenor Square would be a more healthy place to reside
in. There are lots of vulgar people live in Grosvenor Square, but at any
rate there are no horrid kangaroos crawling about. But we'll talk about
that tomorrow. James, you can take Agatha down. You'll come to lunch, of
course, James. At half-past one, instead of two. The Duke will wish to say
a few words to you, I am sure.
HOPPER: I should like to have a chat with the Duke, Duchess. He has not
said a single word to me yet.
DUCHESS OF BERWICK: I think you'll find he will have a great deal to say to
LADY PLYMDALE: My dear Margaret, what a handsome woman your husband has
been dancing with! I should be quite jealous if I were you! Is she a great
friend of yours?
CECIL GRAHAM: Ah! Hopper is one of Nature's gentlemen, the worst type of
gentleman I know.
DUMBY: Sensible woman, Lady Windermere. Lots of wives would have objected
to Mrs Erlynne coming. But Lady Windermere has that uncommon thing called
common sense.
CECIL GRAHAM: And Windermere knows that nothing looks so like innocence as
an indiscretion.
LADY JEDBURGH: So sorry. Come, dear. [Exeunt LADY JEDBURGH and MISS
GRAHAM.]
MRS ERLYNNE: Charming ball it has been! Quite reminds me of old days. [Sits
on sofa.] And I see that there are just as many fools in society as there
used to be. So pleased to find that nothing has altered! Except Margaret.
She's grown quite pretty. The last time I saw her - twenty years ago, she
was a fright in flannel. Positive fright, I assure you. The dear Duchess!
and that sweet Lady Agatha! Just the type of girl I like! Well, really,
Windermere, if I am to be the Duchess's sister-in-law -
Exit MR CECIL GRAHAM with rest of guests. LADY WINDERMERE watches, with a
look of scorn and pain, MRS ERLYNNE and her husband. They are unconscious
of her presence
MRS ERLYNNE: Oh, yes! He's to call tomorrow at twelve o'clock! He wanted to
propose tonight. In fact he did. He kept on proposing. Poor Augustus, you
know how he repeats himself. Such a bad habit! But I told him I wouldn't
give him an answer till tomorrow. Of course I am going to take him. And I
daresay I'll make him an admirable wife, as wives go. And there is a great
deal of good in Lord Augustus. Fortunately it is all on the surface. Just
where good qualities should be. Of course you must help me in this matter.
MRS ERLYNNE: Oh, no! I do the encouraging. But you will make me a handsome
settlement, Windermere, won't you?
MRS ERLYNNE: No; you see, tomorrow I am going to accept him. And I think it
would be a good thing if I was able to tell him that I had - well, what
shall I say? - £2,000 a year left to me by a third cousin - or a second
husband - or some distant relative of that kind. It would be an additional
attraction wouldn't it? You have a delightful opportunity now of paying me
a compliment, Windermere. But you are not very clever at paying
compliments. I am afraid Margaret doesn't encourage you in that excellent
habit. It's a great mistake on her part. When men give up saying what is
charming, they give up thinking what is charming. But seriously, what do
you say to £2,000? £2,500, I think. In modern life margin is everything.
Windermere, don't you think the world an intensely amusing place? I do!
Exit.
PARKER: No, madam. Her ladyship has just gone out of the house.
MRS ERLYNNE [Starts, and looks at the servant with a puzzled expression in
her face]: Out of the house?
PARKER: Yes, madam - her ladyship told me she had left a letter for his
lordship on the table.
MRS ERLYNNE: Thank you. [Exit PARKER. The music in the ballroom stops.]
Gone out of her house! A letter addressed to her husband! [Goes over to
bureau and looks at letter. Takes it up and lays it down again with a
shudder of fear.] No, no! It would be impossible! Life doesn't repeat its
tragedies like that! Oh, why does this horrible fancy come across me? Why
do I remember now the one moment of my life I most wish to forget? Does
life repeat its tragedies? [Tears letter open and reads it, then sinks down
into a chair with a gesture of anguish.] Oh, how terrible! The same words
that twenty years ago I wrote to her father! and how bitterly I have been
punished for it! No; my punishment, my real punishment is tonight, is now!
[Still seated R.]
MRS ERLYNNE: She is very tired. She has gone to bed. She said she had a
headache.
MRS ERLYNNE [Rising hurriedly]: Oh, no! It's nothing serious. She's only
very tired, that is all. Besides, there are people still in the supper-
room. She wants you to make her apologies to them. She said she didn't wish
to be disturbed. [Drops letter.] She asked me to tell you!
MRS ERLYNNE: Oh yes, thank you, that is mine. [Puts out her hand to take
it.]
MRS ERLYNNE [Takes the letter quickly]: Yes, it's- an address. Will you
ask them to call my carriage, please?
MRS ERLYNNE: Thanks! What can I do? What can I do? I feel a passion
awakening within me that I never felt before. What can it mean? The
daughter must not be like the mother - that would be terrible. How can I
save her? How can I save my child? A moment may ruin a life. Who knows that
better than I? Windermere must be got out of the house; that is absolutely
necessary. [Goes L.] But how shall I do it? It must be done somehow. Ah!
LORD AUGUSTUS: Dear lady, I am in such suspense! May I not have an answer
to my request?
MRS ERLYNNE: Lord Augustus, listen to me. You are to take Lord Windermere
down to your club at once, and keep him there as long as possible. You
understand?
LORD AUGUSTUS: But you said you wished me to keep early hours!
MRS ERLYNNE: Your reward? Your reward? Oh! ask me that tomorrow. But don't
let Windermere out of your sight tonight. If you do I will never forgive
you. I will never speak to you again. I'll have nothing to do with you.
Remember you are to keep Windermere at your club, and don't let him come
back tonight.
Exit L.
Act Drop
Act 3
MRS ERLYNNE: Lady Windermere! [LADY WINDERMERE starts and looks up.
Then
recoils in contempt]: Thank Heaven I am in time. You must go back to your
husband's house immediately.
MRS ERLYNNE: Oh! You are on the brink of ruin, you are on the brink of a
hideous precipice. You must leave this place at once, my carriage is
waiting at the corner of the street. You must come with me and drive
straight home.
LADY WINDERMERE throws off her cloak and flings it on the sofa.
LADY WINDERMERE: Mrs Erlynne - if you had not come here, I would have gone
back. But now that I see you, I feel that nothing in the whole world would
induce me to live under the same roof as Lord Windermere. You fill me with
horror. There is something about you that stirs the wildest rage within me.
And I know why you are here. My husband sent you to lure me back that I
might serve as a blind to whatever relations exist between you and him.
MRS ERLYNNE: No - no -
LADY WINDERMERE: Yes! he shall. Had he come himself, I admit I would have
gone back to the life of degradation you and he had prepared for me - I was
going back - but to stay himself at home, and to send you as his messenger
oh! It was infamous - infamous.
MRS ERLYNNE [C.]: Lady Windermere, you wrong me horribly - you wrong your
husband horribly. He doesn't know you are here - he thinks you are safe in
your own house. He thinks you are asleep in your own room. He never read
the mad letter you wrote to him!
LADY WINDERMERE: How simple you think me! [Going to her.] You are lying to
me!
MRS ERLYNNE [R.C.]: Your husband has never seen the letter. I - saw it, I
opened it. I - read it.
MRS ERLYNNE: Dare! Oh! to save you from the abyss into which you are
falling, there is nothing in the world I would not dare, nothing in the
whole world. Here is the letter. Your husband has never read it. He never
shall read it. [Going to fireplace.] It should never have been written.
[Tears it and throws it into the fire.]
LADY WINDERMERE [With infinite contempt in her voice and look]: How do I
know that that was my letter after all? You seem to think the commonest
device can take me in!
MRS ERLYNNE: Oh! why do you disbelieve everything I tell you? What object
do you think I have in coming here, except to save you from utter ruin, to
save you from the consequence of a hideous mistake? That letter that is
burnt now was your letter. I swear it to you!
LADY WINDERMERE [Slowly]: You took good care to burn it before I had
examined it. I cannot trust you. You, whose whole life is a lie, how could
you speak the truth about anything? [Sits down.]
MRS ERLYNNE [Hurriedly]: Think as you like about me - say what you choose
against me, but go back, go back to the husband you love.
MRS ERLYNNE: You do, and you know that he loves you.
MRS ERLYNNE: Yes, and I will tell you what it is. It is his love for you,
Lady Windermere.
MRS ERLYNNE: You must believe it! It is true. It is his love for you that
has made him submit to - oh! call it what you like, tyranny, threats,
anything you choose. But it is his love for you. His desire to spare you -
shame, yes, shame and disgrace.
LADY WINDERMERE: What do you mean? You are insolent! What have I to do
with
you?
MRS ERLYNNE [Humbly]: Nothing. I know it - but I tell you that your husband
loves you - that you may never meet with such love again in your whole life
- that such love you will never meet - and that if you throw it away, the
day may come when you will starve for love and it will not be given to you,
beg for love and it will be denied you - Oh! Arthur loves you!
LADY WINDERMERE: Arthur? And you tell me there is nothing between you?
LADY WINDERMERE: You talk as if you had a heart. Women like you have no
hearts. Heart is not in you. You are bought and sold. [Sits L.C.]
MRS ERLYNNE [Starts, with a gesture of pain. Then restrains herself, and
comes over to where LADY WINDERMERE is sitting. As she speaks, she
stretches out her hands towards her, but does not dare to touch her]:
Believe what you choose about me. I am not worth a moment's sorrow. But
don't spoil your beautiful young life on my account! You don't know what
may be in store for you, unless you leave this house at once. You don't
know what it is to fall into the pit, to be despised, mocked, abandoned,
sneered at - to be an outcast! to find the door shut against one, to have
to creep in by hideous byways, afraid every moment lest the mask should be
stripped from one's face, and all the while to hear the laughter, the
horrible laughter of the world, a thing more tragic than all the tears the
world has ever shed. You don't know what it is. One pays for one's sin, and
then one pays again, and all one's life one pays. You must never know that.
- As for me, if suffering be an expiation, then at this moment I have
expiated all my faults, whatever they have been; for tonight you have made
LADY WINDERMERE bursts into tears and buries her face in her hands
LADY WINDERMERE [Holding out her hands to her, helplessly, as a child might
do]: Take me home. Take me home.
MRS ERLYNNE [Is about to embrace her. Then restrains herself. There is a
look of wonderful joy in her face]: Come! Where is your cloak? [Getting it
from sofa.] Here. Put it on. Come at once!
LADY WINDERMERE: Yes, there is! Listen! Oh! that is my husband's voice! He
is coming in! Save me! Oh, it's some plot! You have sent for him.
Voices outside
MRS ERLYNNE: Silence! I'm here to save you, if I can. But I fear it is too
late! There! [Points to the curtain across the window.] The first chance
you have, slip out, if you ever get a chance!
LORD AUGUSTUS [Outside]: Nonsense, dear Windermere, you must not leave me!
DUMBY: What a nuisance their turning us out of the club at this hour! It's
only two o'clock. [Sinks into a chair.] The lively part of the evening is
only just beginning. [Yawns and closes his eyes.]
LORD AUGUSTUS [To LORD WINDERMERE]: My dear boy, you must not dream
of
going. I have a great deal to talk to you about, of demmed importance, too.
[Sits down with him at L. table.]
CECIL GRAHAM: Oh! We all know what that is! Tuppy can't talk about anything
but Mrs Erlynne!
CECIL GRAHAM: None! That is why it interests me. My own business always
bores me to death. I prefer other people's.
LORD DARLINGTON: Have something to drink, you fellows. Cecil, you'll have a
whisky and soda?
CECIL GRAHAM: Thanks. [Goes to table with LORD DARLINGTON.] Mrs Erlynne
looked very handsome tonight, didn't she?
CECIL GRAHAM: I usen't to be, but I am now. Why! she actually made me
introduce her to poor dear Aunt Caroline. I believe she is going to lunch
there.
LORD DARLINGTON: Excuse me, you fellows. I'm going away tomorrow. And I
have to write a few letters. [Goes to writing table and sits down.]
LORD AUGUSTUS: A very clever woman. Knows perfectly well what a demmed fool
I am - knows it as well as I do myself. [CECIL GRAHAM comes towards him
laughing.] Ah! you may laugh, my boy, but it is a great thing to come
across a woman who thoroughly understands one.
CECIL GRAHAM: But I thought, Tuppy, you were never going to see her again.
Yes! you told me so yesterday evening at the club. You said you'd heard -
Whispering to him.
LORD AUGUSTUS [In a very serious voice]: She's going to explain that
tomorrow.
LORD AUGUSTUS: You want to make her out a wicked woman. She is not!
CECIL GRAHAM: Oh! Wicked women bother one. Good women bore one. That is
the
only difference between them.
LORD AUGUSTUS [Puffing a cigar]: Mrs Erlynne has a future before her.
CECIL GRAHAM: Well, you'll have lots of topics of conversation with her,
Tuppy. [Rising and going to him.]
LORD AUGUSTUS: You're getting annoying, dear boy; you're getting demmed
CECIL GRAHAM [Puts his hands on his shoulders]: Now, Tuppy, you've lost
your figure and you've lost your character. Don't lose your temper; you
have only got one.
LORD AUGUSTUS: My dear boy, if I wasn't the most good-natured man in London
CECIL GRAHAM: We'd treat you with more respect, wouldn't we, Tuppy?
[Strolls away.]
DUMBY: The youth of the present day are quite monstrous. They have
absolutely no respect for dyed hair. [LORD AUGUSTUS looks round angrily.]
CECIL GRAHAM: Mrs Erlynne has a very great respect for dear Tuppy.
DUMBY: Then Mrs Erlynne sets an admirable example to the rest of her sex.
It is perfectly brutal the way most women nowadays behave to men who are
not their husbands.
LORD WINDERMERE: Dumby, you are ridiculous, and Cecil, you let your tongue
run away with you. You must leave Mrs Erlynne alone. You don't really know
anything about her, and you're always talking scandal against her.
CECIL GRAHAM [Coming towards him L.C.]: My dear Arthur, I never talk
scandal. I only talk gossip.
CECIL GRAHAM: Oh! gossip is charming! History is merely gossip. But scandal
is gossip made tedious by morality. Now, I never moralise. A man who
moralises is usually a hypocrite, and a woman who moralises is invariably
plain. There is nothing in the whole world so unbecoming to a woman as a
Nonconformist conscience. And most women know it, I'm glad to say.
CECIL GRAHAM: Sorry to hear it, Tuppy; whenever people agree with me, I
always feel I must be wrong.
CECIL GRAHAM: But you never were, Tuppy, and you never will be. [Goes up
C.] I say, Darlington, let us have some cards. You'll play, Arthur, won't
you.
DUMBY [With a sigh]: Good heavens! how marriage ruins a man! It's as
demoralising as cigarettes, and far more expensive.
LORD AUGUSTUS [Pouring himself out a brandy and soda at table]: Can't, dear
boy. Promised Mrs Erlynne never to play or drink again.
CECIL GRAHAM: Now, my dear Tuppy, don't be led astray into the paths of
virtue. Reformed, you would be perfectly tedious. That is the worst of
women. They always want one to be good. And if we are good, when they meet
us, they don't love us at all. They like to find us quite irretrievably
bad, and to leave us quite unattractively good.
LORD DARLINGTON [Rising from R. table, where he has been writing letters]:
They always do find us bad!
DUMBY: I don't think we are bad. I think we are all good, except Tuppy.
LORD DARLINGTON: No, we are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking
at the stars. [Sits down at C. table.]
DUMBY: We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars?
Upon my word, you are very romantic tonight, Darlington.
CECIL GRAHAM: Too romantic! You must be in love. Who is the girl?
LORD DARLINGTON: The woman I love is not free, or thinks she isn't.
[Glances instinctively at LORD WINDERMERE while he speaks.]
CECIL GRAHAM: A married woman, then! Well, there's nothing in the world
like the devotion of a married woman. It's a thing no married man knows
anything about.
LORD DARLINGTON: Oh! she doesn't love me. She is a good woman. She is the
only good woman I have ever met in my life.
CECIL GRAHAM: The only good woman you have ever met in your life?
CECIL GRAHAM [Lighting a cigarette]: Well, you are a lucky fellow! Why, I
have met hundreds of good women. I never seem to meet any but good women.
The world is perfectly packed with good women. To know them is a middle-
class education.
LORD DARLINGTON: This woman has purity and innocence. She has everything
we
men have lost.
CECIL GRAHAM: My dear fellow, what on earth should we men do going about
with purity and innocence? A carefully thought-out buttonhole is much more
effective.
DUMBY: I congratulate you, my dear fellow. In this world there are only two
tragedies. One is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
The last is much the worst, the last is a real tragedy! But I am interested
to hear she does not love you. How long could you love a woman who didn't
love you, Cecil?
CECIL GRAHAM: A woman who didn't love me? Oh, all my life!
DUMBY: No, time to forget all I have learned. That is much more important,
dear Tuppy. [LORD AUGUSTUS moves uneasily in his chair.]
LORD DARLINGTON: A man who knows the price of everything and the value of
nothing.
LORD DARLINGTON: You always amuse me, Cecil. You talk as if you were a man
of experience.
CECIL GRAHAM [Standing with his back to the fireplace]: One shouldn't
CECIL GRAHAM: Of course you are quite faithful to this woman you are in
love with, Darlington, to this good woman?
LORD DARLINGTON: Cecil, if one really loves a woman, all other women in the
world become absolutely meaningless to one. Love changes one - I am
changed.
CECIL GRAHAM: Dear me! How very interesting! Tuppy, I want to talk to you.
[LORD AUGUSTUS takes no notice.]
DUMBY: It's no use talking to Tuppy. You might just as well talk to a brick
wall.
CECIL GRAHAM: But I like talking to a brick wall - it's the only thing in
the world that never contradicts me! Tuppy!
LORD AUGUSTUS: Well, what is it? What is it? [Rising and going over to
CECIL GRAHAM.]
CECIL GRAHAM: Come over here. I want you particularly. [Aside.] Darlington
has been moralising and talking about the purity of love, and that sort of
thing, and he has got some woman in his rooms all the time.
CECIL GRAHAM [In a low voice]: Yes here is her fan [Points to the fan.]
LORD AUGUSTUS [Going to him]: My dear fellow, you mustn't go yet. I have a
lot to talk to you about. And Cecil has something to show you.
CECIL GRAHAM: Darlington has got a woman here in his rooms. Here is her
fan. Amusing, isn't it? [A pause.]
LORD WINDERMERE: What is my wife's fan doing here in your rooms? Hands off,
Cecil. Don't touch me.
LORD WINDERMERE: You must know. I demand an explanation. Don't hold me,
you
fool. [To CECIL GRAHAM.]
LORD WINDERMERE: Speak, sir! Why is my wife's fan here? Answer me! By God!
I'll search your rooms, and if my wife's here, I'll - [Moves.]
LORD DARLINGTON: You shall not search my rooms. You have no right to do so.
I forbid you!
LORD WINDERMERE: You scoundrel! I'll not leave your room till I have
searched every corner of it! What moves behind the curtain? [Rushes towards
the curtain C.]
Everyone starts and turns round. LADY WINDERMERE slips out from behind the
curtain and glides from the room L.
Act Drop
Act 4
LADY WINDERMERE [Lying on sofa]: How can I tell him? I can't tell him. It
would kill me. I wonder what happened after I escaped from that horrible
room. Perhaps she told them the true reason of her being there, and the
real meaning of that - fatal fan of mine. Oh if he knows - how can I look
him in the face again? He would never forgive me. [Touches bell.] How
securely one thinks one lives - out of reach of temptation, sin, folly. And
then suddenly - Oh! Life is terrible. It rules us, we do not rule it.
Enter ROSALIE R.
LADY WINDERMERE: Yes. Have you found out at what time Lord Windermere
came
in last night?
ROSALIE: Yes, my lady - at half-past nine. I told him your ladyship was not
awake yet.
ROSALIE: Something about your ladyship's fan. I didn't quite catch what his
lordship said. Has the fan been lost, my lady? I can't find it, and Parker
says it was not left in any of the rooms. He has looked in all of them and
on the terrace as well.
LADY WINDERMERE: It doesn't matter. Tell Parker not to trouble. That will
do.
Exit ROSALIE
LADY WINDERMERE [Rising]: She is sure to tell him. I can fancy a person
doing a wonderful act of self-sacrifice, doing it spontaneously,
LORD WINDERMERE: My dear child, you are not well. You've been doing too
much. Let us go away to the country. You'll be all right at Selby. The
season is almost over. There is no use staying on. Poor darling! We'll go
away today, if you like. [Rises.] We can easily catch the 3.40. I'll send a
wire to Fannen. [Crosses and sits down at table to write a telegram.]
LADY WINDERMERE: Yes; let us go away today. No; I can't go today, Arthur.
There is someone I must see before I leave town - someone who has been kind
to me.
LADY WINDERMERE: Far more than that. [Rises and goes to him.] I will tell
you, Arthur, but only love me, love me as you used to love me.
LORD WINDERMERE: Used to? You are not thinking of that wretched woman who
came here last night? [Coming round and sitting R. of her.] You don't still
imagine - no, you couldn't.
LORD WINDERMERE: It was very good of you to receive her last night - but
you are never to see her again.
LORD WINDERMERE [Holding her hand]: Margaret, I thought Mrs Erlynne was a
woman more sinned against than sinning, as the phrase goes. I thought she
wanted to be good, to get back into a place that she had lost by a moment's
LADY WINDERMERE: Arthur, Arthur, don't talk so bitterly about any woman. I
don't think now that people can be divided into the good and the bad, as
though they were two separate races or creations. What are called good
women may have terrible things in them, mad moods of recklessness,
assertion, jealousy, sin. Bad women, as they are termed, may have in them
sorrow, repentance, pity, sacrifice. And I don't think Mrs Erlynne a bad
woman - I know she's not.
LADY WINDERMERE: But I want to see her. I want her to come here.
LADY WINDERMERE: She came here once as your guest. She must come now as
mine. That is but fair.
LADY WINDERMERE [Rising]: It is too late, Arthur, to say that now. [Moves
away.]
LORD WINDERMERE [Rising]: Margaret, if you knew where Mrs Erlynne went last
night, after she left this house, you would not sit in the same room with
her. It was absolutely shameless, the whole thing.
LADY WINDERMERE: Arthur, I can't bear it any longer. I must tell you. Last
night -
Enter PARKER with a tray on which lie LADY WINDERMERE'S fan and a card
PARKER: Mrs Erlynne has called to return your ladyship's fan which she took
away by mistake last night. Mrs Erlynne has written a message on the card.
LADY WINDERMERE: Oh, ask Mrs Erlynne to be kind enough to come up. [Reads
card.] Say I shall be very glad to see her. [Exit PARKER.] She wants to see
me, Arthur.
LORD WINDERMERE [Takes card and looks at it]: Margaret, I beg you not to.
Let me see her first, at any rate. She's a very dangerous woman. She is the
most dangerous woman I know. You don't realise what you're doing.
Enter PARKER
MRS ERLYNNE: How do you do, Lady Windermere? [To LORD WINDERMERE.]
How do
you do? Do you know, Lady Windermere, I am so sorry about your fan. I can't
imagine how I made such a silly mistake. Most stupid of me. And as I was
driving in your direction, I thought I would take the opportunity of
returning your property in person with many apologies for my carelessness,
and of bidding you good-bye.
LADY WINDERMERE: Good-bye? [Moves towards sofa with MRS ERLYNNE and
sits
down beside her.] Are you going away, then, Mrs Erlynne?
MRS ERLYNNE: Yes; I am going to live abroad again. The English climate
doesn't suit me. My - heart is affected here, and that I don't like. I
prefer living in the south. London is too full of fogs and - and serious
people, Lord Windermere. Whether the fogs produce the serious people or
whether the serious people produce the fogs, I don't know, but the whole
thing rather gets on my nerves, and so I'm leaving this afternoon by the
Club Train.
LADY WINDERMERE: This afternoon? But I wanted so much to come and see you.
MRS ERLYNNE: I am afraid not. Our lives lie too far apart. But there is a
little thing I would like you to do for me. I want a photograph of you,
Lady Windermere - would you give me one? You don't know how gratified I
should be.
LADY WINDERMERE: Oh, with pleasure. There is one on that table. I'll show
it to you. [Goes across to the table.]
MRS ERLYNNE: You are much prettier. But haven't you got one of yourself
with your little boy?
LADY WINDERMERE: I'll go and get it for you, if you'll excuse me for a
moment. I have one upstairs.
You seem rather out of temper this morning, Windermere. Why should you be?
Margaret and I get on charmingly together.
LORD WINDERMERE: I can't bear to see you with her. Besides, you have not
told me the truth, Mrs Erlynne.
MRS ERLYNNE: I have not told her the truth, you mean.
LORD WINDERMERE [Standing C.]: I sometimes wish you had. I should have been
spared then the misery, the anxiety, the annoyance of the last six months.
But rather than my wife should know - that the mother whom she was taught
to consider as dead, the mother whom she has mourned as dead, is living - a
divorced woman, going about under an assumed name, a bad woman preying upon
life, as I know you now to be - rather than that, I was ready to supply you
with money to pay bill after bill, extravagance after extravagance, to risk
what occurred yesterday, the first quarrel I have ever had with my wife.
You don't understand what that means to me. How could you? But I tell you
that the only bitter words that ever came from those sweet lips of hers
were on your account, and I hate to see you next her. You sully the
innocence that is in her. [Moves L.C.] And then I used to think that with
all your faults you were frank and honest. You are not.
LORD WINDERMERE: You have no right to claim her as your daughter. You left
her, abandoned her when she was but a child in the cradle, abandoned her
for your lover, who abandoned you in turn.
MRS ERLYNNE [Rising]: Do you count that to his credit, Lord Windermere - or
to mine?
LORD WINDERMERE: Oh, I am not going to mince words for you. I know you
thoroughly.
LORD WINDERMERE: I do know you. For twenty years of your life you lived
without your child, without a thought of your child. One day you read in
the papers that she had married a rich man. You saw your hideous chance.
You knew that to spare her the ignominy of learning that a woman like you
was her mother, I would endure anything. You began your blackmailing.
MRS ERLYNNE [Shrugging her shoulders]: Don't use ugly words, Windermere.
They are vulgar. I saw my chance, it is true, and took it.
LORD WINDERMERE: Yes, you took it - and spoiled it all last night by being,
found out.
MRS ERLYNNE [With a strange smile]: You are quite right, I spoiled it all
last night.
LORD WINDERMERE: And as for your blunder in taking my wife's fan from here
and then leaving it about in Darlington's rooms, it is unpardonable. I
can't bear the sight of it now. I shall never let my wife use it again. The
thing is soiled for me. You should have kept it and not brought it back.
MRS ERLYNNE: I think I shall keep it. [Goes up.] It's extremely pretty.
[Takes up fan.] I shall ask Margaret to give it to me.
LORD WINDERMERE: I wish that at the same time she would give you a
miniature she kisses every night before she prays - It's the miniature of a
young innocent-looking girl with beautiful dark hair.
MRS ERLYNNE: Ah, yes, I remember. How long ago that seems! [Goes to sofa
and sits down.] It was done before I was married. Dark hair and an innocent
expression were the fashion then, Windermere! [A pause.]
LORD WINDERMERE: What do you mean by coming here this morning? What is
your
object? [Crossing L.C. and sitting.]
MRS ERLYNNE [With a note of irony in her voice]: To bid goodbye to my dear
daughter, of course. [LORD WINDERMERE bites his under-lip in anger. MRS
ERLYNNE looks at him, and her voice and manner become serious. In her
accents as she talks there is a note of deep tragedy. For a moment she
reveals herself.] Oh, don't imagine I am going to have a pathetic scene
with her, weep on her neck and tell her who I am, and all that kind of
thing. I have no ambition to play the part of a mother. Only once in my
life have I known a mother's feelings. That was last night. They were
terrible - they made me suffer - they made me suffer too much. For twenty
years, as you say, I have lived childless - I want to live childless still.
[Hiding her feelings with a trivial laugh.] Besides, my dear Windermere,
how on earth could I pose as a mother with a grown-up daughter? Margaret is
twenty-one, and I have never admitted that I am more than twenty-nine, or
thirty at the most. Twenty-nine when there are pink shades, thirty when
there are not. So you see what difficulties it would involve. No, as far as
I am concerned, let your wife cherish the memory of this dead, stainless
mother. Why should I interfere with her illusions? I find it hard enough to
keep my own. I lost one illusion last night. I thought I had no heart. I
find I have, and a heart doesn't suit me, Windermere. Somehow it doesn't go
with modern dress. It makes one look old. [Takes up hand-mirror from table
and looks into it.] And it spoils one's career at critical moments.
LORD WINDERMERE: I am sorry now I did not tell my wife the whole thing at
once.
MRS ERLYNNE: I regret my bad actions. You regret your good ones - that is
the difference between us.
LORD WINDERMERE: I don't trust you. I will tell my wife. It's better for
her to know, and from me. It will cause her infinite pain - it will
humiliate her terribly, but it's right that she should know.
MRS ERLYNNE [Going up to him]: If you do, I will make my name so infamous
that it will mar every moment of her life. It will ruin her, and make her
wretched. If you dare to tell her, there is no depth of degradation I will
not sink to, no pit of shame I will not enter. You shall not tell her - I
forbid you.
MRS ERLYNNE [After a pause]: If I said to you that I cared for her, perhaps
loved her even - you would sneer at me, wouldn't you?
LORD WINDERMERE: I should feel it was not true. A mother's love means
devotion, unselfishness, sacrifice. What could you know of such things?
MRS ERLYNNE: You are right. What could I know of such things? Don't let us
talk any more about it - as for telling my daughter who I am, that I do not
allow. It is my secret, it is not yours. If I make up my mind to tell her,
and I think I will, I shall tell her before I leave the house - if not, I
shall never tell her.
LORD WINDERMERE [Angrily]: Then let me beg of you to leave our house at
once. I will make your excuses to Margaret.
Enter LADY WINDERMERE R. She goes over to MRS ERLYNNE with the
photograph
in her hand. LORD WINDERMERE moves to back of sofa, and anxiously watches
MRS ERLYNNE as the scene progresses.
LADY WINDERMERE: Yes. If it had been a girl, I would have called it after
my mother. My mother had the same name as myself, Margaret.
MRS ERLYNNE: Yes. [Pause.] You are devoted to your mother's memory, Lady
Windermere, your husband tells me.
LADY WINDERMERE: We all have ideals in life. At least we all should have.
Mine is my mother.
MRS ERLYNNE: Ideals are dangerous things. Realities are better. They wound,
but they're better.
MRS ERLYNNE: Did your father often speak to you of your mother?
LADY WINDERMERE: No, it gave him too much pain. He told me how my mother
had died a few months after I was born. His eyes filled with tears as he
spoke. Then he begged me never to mention her name to him again. It made
him suffer even to hear it. My father - my father really died of a broken
heart. His was the most ruined life I know.
MRS ERLYNNE: I think I had better. My carriage must have come back by this
time. I sent it to Lady Jedburgh's with a note.
LADY WINDERMERE: Arthur, would you mind seeing if Mrs Erlynne's carriage
has come back?
LORD WINDERMERE hesitates for a moment and looks at MRS ERLYNNE. She
remains quite impassive. He leaves the room.
[To MRS ERLYNNE]: Oh! What am I to say to you? You saved me last night.
[Goes towards her.]
LADY WINDERMERE: I must speak of it. I can't let you think that I am going
to accept this sacrifice. I am not. It is too great. I am going to tell my
husband everything. It is my duty.
MRS ERLYNNE: It is not your duty - at least you have duties to others
besides him. You say you owe me something?
MRS ERLYNNE: Then pay your debt by silence. That is the only way in which
it can be paid. Don't spoil the one good thing I have done in my life by
telling it to anyone. Promise me that what passed last night will remain a
secret between us. You must not bring misery into your husband's life. Why
spoil his love? You must not spoil it. Love is easily killed. Oh! how
easily love is killed! Pledge me your word, Lady Windermere, that you will
never tell him. I insist upon it.
MRS ERLYNNE: Yes, it is my will. And never forget your child - I like to
think of you as a mother. I like you to think of yourself as one.
LADY WINDERMERE [Looking up]: I always will now. Only once in my life I
have forgotten my own mother - that was last night. Oh, if I had remembered
her I should not have been so foolish, so wicked.
MRS ERLYNNE [With a slight shudder]: Hush, last night is quite over.
LORD WINDERMERE: Your carriage has not come back yet, Mrs Erlynne.
Enter PARKER
LORD AUGUSTUS: Good morning, dear boy. Good morning, Lady Windermere.
[Sees
MRS ERLYNNE.] Mrs Erlynne!
MRS ERLYNNE: How do you do, Lord Augustus? Are you quite well this morning?
MRS ERLYNNE: You don't look at all well, Lord Augustus. You stop up too
late - it is so bad for you. You really should take more care of yourself.
Goodbye, Lord Windermere. [Goes towards door with a bow to LORD AUGUSTUS.
Suddenly smiles and looks back at him.] Lord Augustus! Won't you see me to
my carriage? You might carry the fan.
MRS ERLYNNE: No; I want Lord Augustus. I have a special message for the
dear Duchess. Won't you carry the fan, Lord Augustus?
When she reaches the door she looks back for a moment at LADY WINDERMERE.
Their eyes meet. Then she turns, and exit C. followed by LORD AUGUSTUS
LADY WINDERMERE: You will never speak against Mrs Erlynne again, Arthur,
will you?
LADY WINDERMERE: Don't say that, Arthur. There is the same world for all of
us, and good and evil, sin and innocence, go through it hand in hand. To
shut one's eyes to half of life that one may live securely is as though one
blinded oneself that one might walk with more safety in a land of pit and
precipice.
LORD WINDERMERE [Moves down with her]: Darling, why do you say that?
LADY WINDERMERE [Sits on sofa]: Because I, who had shut my eyes to life,
came to the brink. And one who had separated us -
LADY WINDERMERE: We never must be again. Oh Arthur, don't love me less, and
I will trust you more. I will trust you absolutely. Let us go to Selby. In
the Rose Garden at Selby the roses are white and red.
LORD AUGUSTUS [Advancing towards her with a low bow]: Yes, Lady Windermere
- Mrs Erlynne has done me the honour of accepting my hand.
LORD WINDERMERE: Well, you are certainly marrying a very clever woman!
LADY WINDERMERE [Taking her husband's hand]: Ah, you're marrying a very
good woman!
Curtain.