FACTSHEET

FOR FAMILIES
July 2019

Adopting as a Single Parent WHAT’S INSIDE

The Adoption and Foster Care Analysis and Reporting
Adoption
System (AFCARS) found that almost 15,000 single opportunities
women and nearly 2,000 single men adopted children
or youth from foster care in Federal fiscal year (FFY) Being a single
2017 (https://www.acf.hhs.gov/sites/default/files/ adoptive parent

cb/afcarsreport25.pdf). More than one-quarter (28

Conclusion
percent) of the children adopted from foster care in
FFY 2017 were adopted by single people. The National Additional resources
Resource Center for Diligent Recruitment at
AdoptUSKids (2014), a former service of the Children's Reference
Bureau, urges adoption agencies to clarify their
commitment to welcome, support, and encourage a
diversity of families, including single parents, when
recruiting prospective parents.

This factsheet discusses issues that are specifically

relevant to single people considering adoption. It
includes information about adoption opportunities
available to you, including domestic adoption,
intercountry adoption, and adopting from foster care.
It also discusses the importance of having a support
system and dispels the myth that being single impedes
the adoption process. On the contrary, this factsheet
shows that single people who choose adoption to grow
their families have many adoption options and join the
millions of parents who are single and raising healthy,
thriving children.

Children’s Bureau/ACYF/ACF/HHS
800.394.3366 | Email: info@childwelfare.gov | https://www.childwelfare.gov
Adopting as a Single Parent https://www.childwelfare.gov

Adoption Opportunities Foster Care Adoption

As you consider your adoption options, you will need to According to the Adoption and Foster Care Analysis and
decide whether to adopt domestically (i.e., a child born Reporting System report, more than 100,000 children
in the United States) or from another country, what kind and youth in foster care are waiting to be adopted (see
of agency to work with, and what type of adoption works https://www.acf.hhs.gov/cb/research-data-technology/
best for you. statistics-research/afcars for the most recent data on
foster care and adoption trends). State child welfare
If you choose to adopt a child domestically, you will need
agencies welcome single parents, male or female, to
to research the adoption-specific laws in your State. For
provide permanent homes for children in foster care
detailed information on considerations for becoming
(https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubPDFs/parties.pdf). If
an adoptive parent, including State laws in terms of
you are interested in adopting a child or youth from foster
marital status, see the Child Welfare Information Gateway
care, you will want to consider the experiences of children
webpage, Who Can Adopt? (https://www.childwelfare.
who enter foster care. Many of these children have
gov/topics/adoption/adoptive/whocan/).
experienced trauma or have difficulties with attachment
For domestic adoptions, you will likely work with one of (https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubPDFs/child-trauma.
four types of agencies or service providers: pdf). For these children, a parent’s ability to provide a
safe, loving, and nurturing home may be more important
ƒ Public agencies facilitate matches and provide
than living in a two-parent household. Other situations
support services for children and youth in foster care
favor single parents. For example, a single mother may
waiting for adoptive homes.
be the best placement for a girl who has experienced
ƒ Licensed private agencies typically help birth parents abuse from a male member of the family (https://www.
match infants to adoptive parents. fosteringsolutions.com/news-events/can-you-foster-
ƒ Attorneys generally help families who have already single-parent). In foster care, a caseworker will consider
connected with expectant mothers or assist expectant the child’s best interests to determine whether you are
parents in identifying adoptive families. the right match, regardless of your single status.
ƒ Facilitated or unlicensed agencies link prospective Find information on the various stages of the adoption
adoptive parents with expectant birth mothers for a fee process, State-specific resources, and more on the
(some States prohibit adoptions by paid facilitators). Information Gateway webpage, Adopting Children
If you decide to adopt through the intercountry process, From Foster Care (https://www.childwelfare.gov/topics/
you will be required to work with an accredited or adoption/adoptive/choices/foster-care/).
approved adoption services provider. You can find
Private Domestic Adoption
information about identifying and working with an
Because of the increased number of adoptions that
adoption services provider on the U.S. Department of
begin with birth parents choosing the adoptive family,
State’s webpage, Working With an ASP (https://travel.
birth families, particularly birth mothers, are increasingly
state.gov/content/travel/en/Intercountry-Adoption/about-
involved in the selection of adoptive parents for their
adoption-service-providers/working-with-an-ASP.html).
infants. For a variety of reasons, some birth mothers
For detailed information on intercountry and domestic may express a preference for single-parent families.
adoption opportunities, see the Information Gateway For example, they may appreciate that a single parent
factsheet for families, Adoption Options: Where does not face a current risk of divorce, separation, or
Do I Start? (https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/f- domestic violence issues. Through home studies, private
adoptoption/), and the webpage, What Are My Choices in agencies assure birth parents that the adoptive parent’s
Adoption? (https://www.childwelfare.gov/topics/adoption/ background, financial standing, and home environment
adoptive/choices/).

This material may be freely reproduced and distributed. However, when doing so, please credit Child Welfare Information Gateway.
This publication is available online at https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/single-parent/. 2
Adopting as a Single Parent https://www.childwelfare.gov

are stable and that the adoptive mother or father is For more about the Hague Convention and other
committed to providing a nurturing home for their child. intercountry adoption information, visit the Information
After that, the birth parent makes the decision based on Gateway webpage, Adopting Children From Another
what they care most deeply about. Country (https://www.childwelfare.gov/topics/adoption/
adoptive/choices/other-country/), and the factsheet for
Whatever type of domestic adoption you choose, be sure
families, Intercountry Adoption: Where Do I Start? (https://
that you are working with people who support your efforts
www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/f-inter/).
and will be strong allies for your child(ren) and family.
If you are considering raising a child of a different racial,
For more information on adopting through a private
ethnic, or cultural background than your own, learning
agency or through an attorney, visit the Information
about the culture and ways to connect your child to
Gateway webpage, Adopting Infants Domestically
his or her cultural community may provide meaningful
Through a Licensed Private Agency or an Attorney
ways to help your child thrive. For more advice on
(Independent Adoption) (https://www.childwelfare.gov/
successful transracial adoption, read other suggestions
topics/adoption/adoptive/choices/domestic-adopt/), and
from AdoptUSKids (https://www.adoptuskids.org/
the homepage of the Academy of Adoption & Assisted
adoption-and-foster-care/how-to-adopt-and-foster/
Reproduction Attorneys (https://adoptionart.org/).
envisioning-your-family/transracial-adoption).
Intercountry Adoption
Many single people have successfully built their families
by adopting children from other countries. Laws regarding Selecting an Adoption Agency
prospective adoptive parent eligibility, including marital
Selecting an agency that is right for you means
status, vary from country to country. An accredited or
finding people you trust and services that include
approved adoption services provider can guide you on
the level of training and support you need. You
which countries welcome single-parent applicants and
should feel free to ask for references of clients
whether the foreign government in the country where
who have recently finalized adoptions in order to
you wish to adopt imposes restrictions on single parents,
contact them to ask about their experience with
such as the gender or age of the child. You may also find
the agency from beginning to end. It is also a
information on a specific country’s laws on adoption
good idea to ask the agency probing questions
using the U.S. Department of State’s country-specific
such as the following:
information search page (https://travel.state.gov/content/
travel/en/Intercountry-Adoption/Intercountry-Adoption- ƒ How many adoptions did you complete in the
Country-Information.html). past year?
ƒ How many single-parent adoptions did you
You may be asked to provide more references than
complete in the past year?
married couples, and your gender may determine
whether you can adopt a boy or a girl. In some countries, ƒ Do you provide support specifically for single
for example, single men may adopt only boys, and in parents?
others they are determined eligible to adopt on a case- ƒ What are the fees associated with the home
by-case basis. Regardless of gender, the criteria, wait study, placement, and postplacement visits?
times, and costs differ for each country. Accredited or
For more information, see the Information
approved adoption services providers that work with
Gateway webpage, Finding an Adoption Agency
specific countries will help you find available programs to
webpage (https://www.childwelfare.gov/topics/
complete the adoption process in accordance with the
adoption/adoptive/finding-agency/).
standards set forth in the Hague Convention.

This material may be freely reproduced and distributed. However, when doing so, please credit Child Welfare Information Gateway.
This publication is available online at https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/single-parent/. 3
Adopting as a Single Parent https://www.childwelfare.gov

Being a Single Adoptive Parent recognized curriculum, such as PATH (Parents as Tender
Healers) (10 weeks) or PRIDE (Parent Resources for
As with all adoptive families, you should have proper
Information, Development, and Education) (87 hours),
training and preparation before you welcome a child
while other States may use locally adapted versions of
into your home, as well as ongoing support during the
these or other curricula. Trainings also offer adoptive
adoption process and after the adoption is finalized. You
parents with the opportunity to develop connections with
may also want to carefully consider how your support
the other parents in these classes (whether single or not).
system and job can affect your readiness to adopt and
These parents may become your most competent and
what adjustments you may want to make to prepare for
reliable child care providers. And you don’t have to
your child or youth.
educate them about behaviors they may experience from
Preadoption Training your child. They already know from their own experience.
Most trainings for domestic adoptions are offered by an Learn more about trainings for those who want to adopt
adoption agency. Agencies may provide trainings for their from foster care, including State-specific training
clients that address a variety of issues, such as adoption requirements, by visiting the following AdoptUSKids’
through the perspective of young children or teens, webpages:
parenting children with attachment disorders, and helping
children in transracial adoptions to develop healthy
ƒ Training to Become a Foster Parent or to Adopt
racial socialization and identity (https://adoptionsupport.
(https://www.adoptuskids.org/adoption-and-foster-
org/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/C.A.S.E.-Trainings-
care/how-to-adopt-and-foster/getting-approved/
for-Parents-and-Professionals.pdf). Most trainings are
training)
developed by adoption experts and can be conducted
remotely or in person. Agencies may provide resources ƒ State Adoption and Foster Care Information (https://
in addition to or in place of formal trainings. Examples of www.adoptuskids.org/adoption-and-foster-care/
web-based courses include the following: how-to-adopt-and-foster/state-information)

ƒ Adoption Learning Partners (https://www. For intercountry adoption, prospective parents must meet
adoptionlearningpartners.org/) the preadoption training requirements of their State of
ƒ FosterParentCollege.com (http://www. residence as well as certain Federal requirements (see 22
fosterparentcollege.com/index.jsp) CFR 96.48), for which accredited or approved adoption
services providers are responsible.
Nationally recognized preadoption curricula for foster,
adoptive, and kinship parents can be found on the Your Support System
Information Gateway webpage, Preadoption Training All parents need support. As a single parent, you will
(https://www.childwelfare.gov/topics/adoption/adoptive/ find your support system to be especially critical. Due
before-adoption/preadoption/). to the understanding that continued contact with birth
State agencies also provide preadoptive and foster care families can mitigate the trauma and other effects of
training. Although trainings vary from State to State, they separation from families of origin, all foster care agencies
can help prepare you for certain behaviors common to and many private agencies now favor adoptions that
children in foster care and those who are adopted from involve ongoing relationships between birth and adoptive
foster care. Some States train families using a nationally families. In some instances, this preference may open
support systems for single parents.

This material may be freely reproduced and distributed. However, when doing so, please credit Child Welfare Information Gateway.
This publication is available online at https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/single-parent/. 4
Adopting as a Single Parent https://www.childwelfare.gov

Consider the following questions about your relationships For emotional support, it is strongly recommended
with family and friends: that you join a postadoption (or post-foster placement)
ƒ Do you have people you are close to whom you feel support group. Given the separation and loss
comfortable asking for help? experienced by children in foster care or by those who are
adopted, other adoptive parents may understand your
ƒ Are your friends and family supportive of your decision
experience and your child’s development better than
to parent alone?
anyone else. Also, consider joining an online or Facebook
ƒ How might your friends and family feel about the group for single adoptive parents. For intercountry
children you may adopt? adoptions, some accredited or approved adoption
ƒ Will your friends and family accept your child if he or services providers organize postadoption support groups,
she is of a different race or from a different country and parent-run organizations, such as Families With
and culture? Will they be tolerant of your child’s need Children From China, Families for Russian and Ukrainian
to learn a new language, overcome past trauma, and Adoption, and others, provide support to families with
understand how to be part of a family? children adopted from specific countries or regions. But
do not make such groups your primary source of support.
Talk to friends and family about specific needs that might
You will need more than this, as well as some time to
arise after you bring your child home. Share as much
yourself or with friends. Do not neglect nurturing yourself!
information as you can about your child with your existing
support system, so that you get a sense of what they can Over time, your support system will naturally evolve, and
and will help with and what additional support might be new people will likely come into your life because of your
helpful. For example: child. Nonetheless, it is essential to be prepared with
ƒ Who will help when you or your child is sick? multiple options for support, including child care. Single
parents sometimes lose part of their support system early
ƒ Who will answer a phone call in the middle of the
on and have to rely on other, more recent support for
night?
child care. Have backup support in place before bringing
ƒ Who lives close by and can provide help at a moment’s your child home—and well before a crisis.
notice, if needed?
It is strongly recommended that you develop a will
ƒ Is there someone you would trust to provide an
immediately after the adoption. Choosing family or
overnight break or a weekend away?
friends who are reliable and willing to raise your child
ƒ Who could pick up your child from school, if you were in the event of incapacitation or death will prevent the
stuck at work or in traffic? possibility of your child returning to foster care or to the
ƒ Whom could you trust to act as guardian for your child, custody of a State agency.
in the event of your death?
Your Job
ƒ Who will participate in your efforts to expose your
As a single parent, it is likely that you will have a full-
child to his or her cultural heritage if it is different from
time job. Consider the hours you will spend working,
your own?
commuting, and sleeping, as well as performing routine
If answering these questions is difficult, you may need parenting responsibilities, such as preparing meals, doing
to strengthen or expand your support system before housework, and helping with homework. Think, too, about
you adopt. Other adoptive and single-parent families, your employer and the nature of your work. For example:
especially role models of the same gender/identity as ƒ Do you consider your employer to be family friendly?
your child, can be a great source of mutual support or an Are family and medical leave available to you? Will you
occasional break. be able to take the time you need when you bring your
child home?

This material may be freely reproduced and distributed. However, when doing so, please credit Child Welfare Information Gateway.
This publication is available online at https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/single-parent/. 5
Adopting as a Single Parent https://www.childwelfare.gov

ƒ Does your schedule allow for flexibility? Will you be To learn about employer benefits, see the Information
able to leave at a moment’s notice if you get a call from Gateway publication, Employer-Provided Adoption
your child’s school? Can you work from home when Benefits (https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubpdfs/f_benefi.
your child is sick? pdf; a Spanish version is available at https://www.
ƒ What is your company’s policy regarding sick days and childwelfare.gov/pubPDFs/sp_benefi.pdf.)
personal leave time? Are these days going to be The Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption webpage,
enough to care for both your own and your child’s Adoption-Friendly Workplace, also features information
illnesses or emergency needs? on workplace-related financial benefits (https://
ƒ How much travel does your job require? Is travel www.davethomasfoundation.org/our-programs/
optional or flexible? Will you be able to bring your child adoption-friendly-workplace/).
with you? Who will care for him or her while you are
away?

A Note About Finances and Adoption Costs

One common myth about adoption is that only wealthy parents can adopt and successfully raise healthy, happy
children. First and foremost, children need loving families. But the costs associated with adoptions may be
particularly relevant to single parents, who typically rely on one income.

Adoption costs can vary widely depending on the type of adoption you choose. In general, if you adopt from
foster care, adoption costs will be low or even free. If you choose private domestic or intercountry adoption,
costs, such as agency or adoption services provider fees, will be considerably more expensive.

Many children who are adopted from foster care are eligible for Federal and State adoption assistance (subsidy)
to help with the cost of their continued care. If you adopt through private domestic or intercountry adoption,
your child may also be eligible for nonrecurring expenses, including reasonable and necessary adoption fees,
court costs, and attorney fees as well as expenses that are directly related to the legal adoption of a child with
special needs. These expenses must not be incurred in violation of State/Tribal or Federal law or reimbursed
from other sources or funds. Although it is rare, children adopted through private domestic or intercountry
adoption may also be eligible for an adoption subsidy. Each State’s adoption assistance policy varies, so you
should review what subsidies and other supports your State offers. For State-by-State information on adoption
assistance, visit the Information Gateway webpage, Adoption Assistance by State (https://www.childwelfare.gov/
topics/adoption/adopt-assistance/).

To help further offset adoption costs, Federal or State tax credits, loans, grants, or employer-provided adoption
benefits may also be available to you. For more detailed information about adoption costs and support, see the
following Information Gateway resources:
ƒ Planning for Adoption: Knowing the Costs and Resources (https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/s-cost/)
ƒ Adoption Costs and Sources of Financial Support (https://www.childwelfare.gov/topics/adoption/adoptive/
expenses/)

This material may be freely reproduced and distributed. However, when doing so, please credit Child Welfare Information Gateway.
This publication is available online at https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/single-parent/. 6
Adopting as a Single Parent https://www.childwelfare.gov

Tips From Other Adoptive Parents Conclusion

When your child first comes home, plan to spend as much Many single people have successfully adopted children,
dedicated time as possible creating an environment and many more are parenting adopted children due to
where he or she feels safe, secure, and loved. No matter divorce, deployment, or the death of a spouse. Although
how young or old they are when they come to your every adoptive family is different, most single parents
home, adoptive children are experiencing a loss of agree that the joy of bringing a child into their lives far
everything they have known and are probably frightened. outweighs the potential challenges of being a single
Experienced single parents recommend preparing parent. Millions of children are growing up healthy and
early, even before you are matched with a child. They happy in single-parent households, and yours can, too.
emphasize the following tips: What is most important is that you prepare, train, and
ƒ Connect with an adoption support group. For a build support to provide a safe, stable, and nurturing
State-by-State listing of support groups, see the home for your adopted child.
Information Gateway webpage, National Foster Care &
Adoption Directory (https://www.childwelfare.gov/
Additional Resources
nfcad/). Select your State and check the box for Parenting Resources for Adoptive Families
“Kinship, Foster Care and Adoption Support Groups.” Adoption may involve feelings of separation and loss for
ƒ Create a “lifebook” for your child. These books are the child, although the degree varies greatly. Adoption-
recommended for all children, especially if they have related issues may arise at any point during your child’s
had multiple foster homes. Learn more on the life. The following resources provide general parenting
Information Gateway webpage, Lifebooks (https:// information for all adoptive families, including information
www.childwelfare.gov/topics/adoption/adopt- on understanding and helping children cope with
parenting/lifebooks/). separation and loss:
ƒ Get training on the core issues of adoption. For ƒ Effects of Separation and Loss on Children’s
information on the seven core issues of adoption, see Development (https://www.fosterclub.com/sites/
the webpage, Lifelong Issues in Adoption (https:// default/files/Effects%20of%20Separation%20and%20
adoption.com/lifelong-issues-in-adoption). Loss%20on%20Childrens%20Development.pdf)

For tips and encouragement from single and ƒ Grief & Loss (https://www.nacac.org/help/parenting/
married adoptive parents, read adoption stories grief-and-loss/)
from AdoptUSKids (https://blog.adoptuskids. ƒ Helping Adopted Children Cope With Grief and Loss
org/?s=adoption+stories). (https://www.childwelfare.gov/topics/adoption/adopt-
parenting/helping/)
ƒ Helping Your Child Transition From Foster Care to
Adoption (https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/f-transition/)
—“[A] key to working through their trauma was
keeping an eye on the bigger picture and the ƒ Parenting After Adoption (https://www.childwelfare.
boys’ potential for future success. Knowing that gov/topics/adoption/adopt-parenting/)
whatever might be happening, it was not going
ƒ Parenting Your Adopted Preschooler (https://www.
to last forever and remembering that every
storm, no matter how big, would eventually childwelfare.gov/pubs/factsheets/preschool/)
pass.” (A single adoptive mother, AdoptUSKids) ƒ Parenting Your Adopted School-Age Child (https://
www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/factsheets/
parent-school-age/)
ƒ Parenting Your Adopted Teenager
(https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/factsheets/
parent-teenager/)

This material may be freely reproduced and distributed. However, when doing so, please credit Child Welfare Information Gateway.
This publication is available online at https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/single-parent/. 7
Adopting as a Single Parent https://www.childwelfare.gov

ƒ Potential Parenting Challenges (https://www. ƒ Adoption Today/Fostering Families Today: Highlights

childwelfare.gov/topics/adoption/adoptive/before- resources for foster care, domestic adoption, and
adoption/potential-parenting-challenges/) intercountry adoption (https://fosteringfamiliestoday.com/)
ƒ Too Many Losses, Too Soon: Loss and Grief Among ƒ Adoptions Together: Provides support for single women
Foster and Adopted Children (https:// and men who have a desire to grow their family through
adoptionsupport.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/ adoption (https://www.adoptionstogether.org/
Too-Many-Losses.pdf) adopting/single-parent-adoption/)
ƒ Understanding Ambiguous Loss (https:// ƒ Adoptive Families: Single Parenting: Find articles,
azfamilyresources.org/pdf/ books, and other resources for single adoptive parents
UnderstandingAmbiguousLoss.pdf) (https://www.adoptivefamilies.com/tag/
single-adoptive-parenting/)
Many resources available for adoptive families apply also
to single-parent adoptive families. The following is a brief ƒ Intercountry Adoption Accreditation and Maintenance
Entity: Accredits and oversees adoption services providers
selection of additional resources that may be of particular
for intercountry adoptions (https://www.iaame.net/)
interest to those considering single-parent adoption.
ƒ National Council for Adoption: Addresses the needs of
Other Child Welfare Information Gateway all members of the adoption constellation through
Resources education, research, legislative action, and collaboration
ƒ Accessing Adoption Support and Preservation Services (http://www.adoptioncouncil.org/)
(https://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/f-postadoption/)
ƒ North American Council on Adoptable Children: Offers
ƒ Adoption by Family Type: Single Parents (https://www. information and resources about how to adopt,
childwelfare.gov/topics/adoption/adoptive/family- adoption subsidies, parent groups, postadoption
type/single-parents/) support, and more (http://www.nacac.org)
ƒ Adoption Options: Where Do I Start? (https://www. ƒ Single Mothers by Choice: Provides support and
childwelfare.gov/pubs/f-adoptoption/) information to single women who are considering, or
ƒ Learning From Other Adoptive Families (https://www. have chosen, single motherhood (http://www.
childwelfare.gov/topics/adoption/adoptive/before- singlemothersbychoice.org/)
adoption/connecting/)
Reference
ƒ Kinship/Relative Adoption (https://www.childwelfare.
gov/topics/permanency/relatives/adoption/) National Resource Center for Diligent Recruitment at
AdoptUSKids. (2014). Improving customer service:
ƒ Preparing Emotionally for Adoption (https://www.
Prospective parent orientation sessions: 10 things you
childwelfare.gov/topics/adoption/adoptive/before-
can do. Retrieved from https://www.adoptuskids.org/
adoption/preparing/)
_assets/files/NRCRRFAP/resources/10-things-you-can-
Other Resources do-to-improve-customer-services.pdf
ƒ AdoptUSKids: Provides information about adoption
training, local rules, and agencies in your State (https:// Suggested Citation:
www.adoptuskids.org/) Child Welfare Information Gateway. (2019). Adopting as a
ƒ Adoption Learning Partners: Provides a wide range of single parent. Washington, DC: U.S. Department of Health
online training on a variety of adoption-related topics and Human Services, Children’s Bureau.
(https://www.adoptionlearningpartners.org/)

U.S. Department of Health and Human Services

Administration for Children and Families
Administration on Children, Youth and Families
Children’s Bureau