INTERVIEW PROTOCOL

Farah: An interviewer for assignment under subject Developmental Psychology: Child and
Adolescent
Ain: An interviewee for the assignment

Farah: Hye assalamu’alaikum. My name is Farah Nur ‘Ain binti Mohd Zailani and I am
Counselling student year 2 from University Science Islam Malaysia. Can I have your time
and 4attention for a minute?
Ain: Hye wa’alaikummussalam. I am Noor Ain. Yes, sure.
Farah: Firstly, the purpose of this interview been made is to find out how far problematic
family effects adolescent. So, I will ask you a personal question related with relationship
between you and your family. If you agree to be my interviewee, we can proceed to the next
part.
Ain: Alright. I am aware of that. I am agreed and ready to be interviewed.
Farah: Alhamdulillah. I hope you will be comfortable and answer my question just the way
you want to. I am aware that the questions may be quite personal and because of that, I would
not be forcing you to answer the questions if you do not want to.
Ain: Alright. I am aware of that. I do believe that this is just the purpose of the assignment.
Farah: Alright. We go to the first question. May I know a little bit about your relationship
between you and your family?
Ain: Honestly, I have a lot of family problems. Sometimes, I feel unhappy with my family,
but I still being grateful with their existence.
Farah: Would you mind sharing about it deeper?
Ain: Of course. I am not happy as people see me. My parents always arguing or fighting over
something till I numbed up. I do not know why they cannot be a sweet married couple like
my friend’s parents. Usually, I will supress my sadness made by my parents. It is hard to
control my emotions whenever I am witnessing their arguments. But I get used to it.
Sometimes, I feel so unhappy because of them. Day by day, I can’t bear it anymore.
Farah: I’m so sorry because you had to face it. If you feel uncomfortable, you can tell me. I
will understand.
Ain: No worries. As I said earlier, I get used to it. I’ll continue. It becomes worst when my
mom tells me that, my dad did something she don’t like. In short, my dad’s behaviour made
she very sad. At this point, I feel so angry towards my dad. Yet, I can’t hate him. He is still
my father. I still need him for the rest of my life. Whenever family matters caught in my
mind, it will make me stress and sad at the same time. I share my story just to make everyone
aware that, don’t let your problematic family let you down.
Farah: Yes, it is. We must be strong and stronger to face whatever obstacles we had. Can we
proceed to the next question?
Ain: Yes, indeed. Be strong and be happy. Life is just too short to feel sad and down all the
time. Yes, what is the next question?
Farah: May I know how your parents educate their children?
Ain: Honestly, my parents are quite strict. But my mom are stricter than my dad cause she is
the one who always with us at home. They are being so strict when I still a school kid. They
have their own rules for us which are, cannot go hang out with friends even all the friends are
girls, cannot have a ride with my friends even though my friend is a driver, I can’t be friend
with boys and can’t save boy’s number phone. I thought all these rules will be ended when I
am 18 and above. But the rules didn’t end, just being loosened. Even now I am 20, she still
didn’t allow me to go hangout for eat after work with my friends. She will be angry and nag
at me.
Ain: I still don’t have my own car license. My mom did not want me and my sister take the
license and she willingly send and pick us up for work. Our house is quiet far from
workplace. 35 minutes by car. I don’t understand why she don’t want us to have car license.
My sister and I just want to light their burden. Go to anywhere by ourselves. Sometimes, my
uncle and relatives said that we are spoiled children cause still hoping our parents to send us
to workplace. We want to be independent, but our mother just doesn’t allow it. The worst is,
sometimes she’s nagged at us cause she’s tired driving the car for us. We only can be quite
and listen her nagging. One more thing, my sister and I still do not know how to cook even
simplest dishes. Why? Because, every time we want to help her, she will be mad and said that
we’re irritating her. I’d rather be in front of my laptop than get mad with her just because we
want to help her.
Farah: I hope you can be tough. May I know what you think about your parents’ parental
skills?
Ain: I do understand that they want the best for their children. They want to protect their
children at all costs. But, they should know what their children want to do. They should be as
a good friend when their children at the age of 15 and above. We’re not a baby anymore. We
want to explore the world and do stuffs we want just the way other people do. At least, if they
don’t want to let us experience new things with them, let us do it with our friends. Honestly, I
feel so jealous when I see someone being so closed with their mother. It feels so good when
we can kiss and hug our mother whenever we feel sad and happy. We didn’t get the chance to
hug and kiss her. She doesn’t like it. Every parent should take attention whenever their
children share some story. Support them and listen to them. Whenever I want to share my
problems with my mother, instead of supporting me and give me hug, she just nagged at me
and made me feel guilty. I just think that my mom doesn’t support me even though I am not
the one who is guilty. I just pray and hope that whenever my time has come to be a parent, I
hope I will not entertain my children just how my parents did. Can’t deny that they still do
their responsibilities as our parents, but our heart was broken. This makes me realise that
family can give us hurt as well other people.
Farah: Indeed. Usually, hurts come from someone we loved. Are you okay to proceed to the
next question?
Ain: Yes. You can ask me the next question.
Farah: May I know what is the event that really affect yourself? Either it is the happy one or
unhappy one.
Ain: The event that really affect me is the unhappy one. Hahaha. The event is when I have
some arguments with my mom. It is not just an argument, but it is a serious argument that
ended up with something I didn’t expect. One day, I was sitting in front of the TV and eating.
Suddenly, I heard that my parents are arguing, and I feel so annoyed. I just don’t want to get
involved with their arguments, so I just turn up the TV volume. Then, my mom being so so
so angry. She said that I have no manners and “derhaka” word. I don’t know how I have a
braveness to say, “You guys are too loud”. I don’t say that aloud. I just say it with a clear and
slow tones. But my mom said, “If you don’t like my voices, just get lost from this house”.
Usually, someone will be sad after heard this sentence, but that day I have no feelings
anymore. I get used to it. I don’t know how to react. After the incident, I don’t talk to my
mom for two days. My mom didn’t give me food to eat. Two days I’m starving in my room.
After three days, my dad persuaded me to eat together but I refused. My dad forced me and
since that, my mom just be okay. Maybe she’s realised that is not my faults. Since the
incident, I promised to myself, whenever my parents make me hurt, I wouldn’t show it and
will suppress my sadness. It is no point to say it loud. It is no point to discuss about my
feelings, because they seem just don’t care about my feelings. It hurts, but I know I will be
okay.
Farah: You are so big-hearted person. I am so amazed how professional you handle your
emotion. May I know what the effects of your parents’ parental skills towards yourself?
Ain: There are so many effects. There are postive and negative sides. The positives sides are,
I learned how to control my emotions. I learned how to make myself happy even deep down
in my heart it really hurts. I learned how to be independent cause my parents won’t give me
anything what I want, and I must work for it. I learned that sometimes, even the person we
loved do not there whenever we need them. I learned how to understand one’s situations
before assuming. I learned that everyone is not perfect and do not put our hopes too high for
them. The negative sides are, I will be so scared with my parents till I don’t know how to
approach them, and it makes our bond feel so far. I don’t know how to express my feelings
and tell them what I want. I just want to be alone whenever I’m at home. I will suppress my
feelings and fight with myself. These are the positive and negative sides that I experienced.
Farah: Thank you. It is so good to listen your stories. Whatever it is, I hope you will be
stronger and happier. Your time will come. Can we proceed to the last question?
Ain: Most welcome. I will be stronger and happier. I always be thankful for their existence.
Whatever it is, I still love them for the rest of my life. Yes, proceed to the last question.
Farah: Any advice or tips for people out there who have the same situation with you?
Ain: Of course, there is advice. I just want to say, be strong and keep being patient.
Whenever our parents nagging or being angry out of the blue, just listen and keep quiet.
There is no point to fight with them. But, if your parents keep abusing your mental health,
find someone you believe to get help. Problematic family can be one of the sources of mental
heatlh arises. Keep being a good child for our parents. Maybe, our parents already
experienced worst childhood memories and they just don’t know how to give their children
sweet childhood memories. Whatever our parents said while they are nagging or angry,
please don’t take it to our heart. As we grow up, we will develop maturity and they will
develop sensitivity as they grow older. So just be matured and be patient. Alright, I think this
is my advice.
Farah: Thank you so much. Your advice is so heart-whelming. Thank you again for being a
part of my assignment. It is good to know someone that open minded and professional like
you. I hope you will be happy and happier as you deserve it.
Ain: Most welcome, my pleasure. Thank you for your prayer.
Farah: Thank you. May Allah bless you. Bye.
Ain: You too. Bye.