International Journal of Multidisciplinary Research and Development

International Journal of Multidisciplinary Research and Development

Online ISSN: 2349-4182, Print ISSN: 2349-5979; Impact Factor: RJIF 5.72
Received: 17-02-2019; Accepted: 20-03-2019
www.allsubjectjournal.com
Volume 6; Issue 4; April 2019; Page No. 89-96

Code of ethics and values of the family

Dr. Abroo Aman Andrabi

Assistant Professor, Department of Islamic Studies, School of Social Sciences and Humanities Jamia Hamdard, New Delhi, India

Abstract
Family is the foundation on which values are built. Moral values like respect, truthfulness, tolerance, happiness, honesty,
loyalty, peace, justice, responsibility, self-restraint are instilled in the thoughts, feelings and actions of the children and they
function as ethics and principles that govern their actions in the life.
In the view of this fact that ethics deal with the formation and expression of character, there is no better place to begin its
development than in a family i.e home. Parents are responsible for building ethics into the children and to educate themselves
to be good parents. Since the family plays a major role in helping a child socialize and has great influence and bearing on the
progress of the child, the most natural environment to grow mentally and spiritually from a state of selfishness to
unselfishness, the school of love where children cultivate heart and build character, manners, norms etc. Therefore, in this
paper I would look into the code of ethics and values of the family for their children which will stand them in good stead for
the remainder of their adult lives and make them able to contribute to an orderly and peaceful society. Also I would like to
throw some light on the importance of family values in Life with a particular reference from the primary sources of Islam.

Keywords: code of ethics, values, family, respect, truthfulness, tolerance, happiness, honesty, peace, justice, responsibility,
self-restraint, feelings and actions

Introduction by their parents who give them the love and tenderness they
In literal sense the word “Ethics” means character, nature need. This phase can last more than fifteen years. As infants,
and temperament, and technically it means the area of study parents give their children the most tender love and care; as
concerned with what is morally good and what is morally children and adolescents, they instill in them principles,
bad. Ethics of a family can be divided into theoretical ethics feelings, and beliefs; and as youths they guide them until
and political ethics, the “Theoretical ethics” refers to a they reach maturity. This mission provides children with the
specific genre made up of the principles of conduct (suluk). necessary knowledge to protect them from sins, hence
It consists of fundamental principles and general rules setting them apart from those living beings who do not
extracted from them. A person is able to follow them in all know their purpose in life.
sorts of places and different eras, “Practical ethics” on the Therefore, to develop a generation with better social values,
other side refers to the set of principles of conduct, through parents need to play a very important role for the code of
regard for which a person is able to reach his ultimate goal, ethics and values of the family. The presence of elders in the
and attain all happiness and goodness. family plays the effective role in social and moral
The family is a divine building block of society that can development of the children. It also helps young generation
bring so much of joy into our life. Family refers to a group of the family to imbibe human values and eradicate their
consisting of parents and their children. Parents are the negative mental tendencies when they are among elders.
natural role models of values to the children. We learned There are a few very important family ethics and values
much of our moral code from our parents, who learned from children should know from the very beginning. A few of
their parents, and so on through previous generations. Over them are mentioned in this manuscript.
the time, the meaning of family has changed quite a bit.
Joint Families have converted to nuclear families and the Respect and courtesy
resistance level has decreased. Family meant Father And Respecting and Loving Elders and Children alike are parts
Mother is the concept of today’s generation. Parents these of our courtesy. Courtesy is the use of polite manners. A
days do not have time to spend with their children and teach courteous person is respectful and considerate of others.
them moral family values. When both the parents are Courteous behavior requires a selfless attitude and can give
working, family attachments are less. Mostly children are your perspective on others' situations. When family values
depend upon their babysitters or their house maids who can are well defined and reinforced at home, they become a part
take better care of the children but cannot teach the children of who you are and how you act. Moral values, when
about family values and family ethics. So parents need to intentionally taught and followed at home, can help a family
take an extra effort to spend time with their children and work together towards common goals.
teach them ethics of family. When parents have time to It is the duty of the parents to tell to their children that if
teach ethics of family and family values for children, this they lack the courtesy it may have trouble them with their
will improve the society and make it a better place to live in. family relationships, friendships and in their occupation too.
The family gives rise to and provides a fertile ground for Because showing unconcern for others' feelings, a critical
sound individuals. Within the family, children are nurtured attitude and inconsiderate behaviors creates an atmosphere

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of tension and frustration. Rude behavior can send a should teach them that the longer you have a negative
message to others that you do not accept or appreciate them. outlook on life and yourself, the harder it may be to change
But courteous behavior is directly related to showing respect that attitude. But if you are willing to change the way that
and honour. When we are courteous, we are not bothered you view the world and yourself, then there are several
about the character or qualities or achievements of the things that you can do. You can start by examining your
individual, but in respect it is these features that make us attitude about the world and about yourself, then start
respect that individual. So from the childhood itself if we looking for little ways to improve your outlook, and then
learn to respect our parents, our ancestors, our guardians, work to correct some of the major problems that you have
and teachers for their wonderful personalities and qualities, with the world and with yourself. Remember that although
when we grow up, we gain respect for our friends, our sometimes you may not be able to change your
colleagues, our superiors, and even people that we do not circumstances but you can still change how you react to
know personally, which helps us to make the society better. them by adopting one kind of attitude over another. Take
Respect comes from within us as we view the positive responsibility for your attitude. You have a lot of control
aspects and the amazing qualities of other people. It is these over the way you think about the world. Try to keep that in
qualities that make us respect them. mind and use it to your advantage. Ultimately, you are
responsible for your attitude and cannot blame how you
Kindness to Others think on others or on your situation.
Kindness is the quality of being gentle, caring, and helpful. Anything that children are being taught at home is what they
It is a very important family values children should know. It will eventually give to the society. This is not only the
is a behavior marked by ethical characteristics, a pleasant responsibility of the parents, but also of the grandparents
deposition, and a concern for others. It is known as a virtue, and the teachers dealing with the children. They should
and is recognized as a value in many cultures and religions. learn to be responsible in any matter that they take up in life.
The verse of the holy Quran says “And do good to kinsfolk Learning this will help them face any challenges in their life
(relatives), orphans, the poor, the neighbor who is near of with confidence.
kin, the neighbor who is a stranger, the company by your
side, the wayfarer (you meet) (Holy Quran 4:36) Justice and Equality
Parents should teach their children that Kindness and Code of Ethics plays a pivotal role in promoting justice and
consideration can build your reputation as a respectable, equality in the world. Parents need to encourage their
thoughtful person. When you are a kind person, you are not children to take some action to solve anything that they did
only helping others, you are helping yourself, too. This will wrong. It is not enough just to say sorry. When it comes to
let them have a feeling of love and affection to all life family values, children should know that justice takes an
around them. important role. Parents can help teach their children about
Also the family should care for its neighbors and serve its equality and they can start it just from the home by giving
community, society, and nation, and the family should treat them the concept of gender equality, the concept of
all people of the world as brothers and sisters, so that their abolishment of discrimination on various grounds such as
children would also learn the same. When human dignity is class, creed, caste, color, language, nationality, religion.
absent in a given society, it is the moral obligation of the Children are not born with the thinking that one gender is
family to convince society that such is needed. better and more powerful than another. They are just born
with the thinking that there is no difference between us, so
Attitude towards Others parents and teachers both should make sure that they are not
Being considerate is one among the important family values reinforcing traditional gender roles. They should always
for children. They should learn to consider the feelings of make the children understand that the girls can take out the
other people. Sharing is caring and an important discipline garbage, and boys can do dishes.
that should teach to children. This should start from the As we find Islam is the religion of justice and equality and
family itself. Words can either motivate or kill. When in a as such gives its followers the right to absolute and
family, we tend to care a lot more and tend to look at the complete equality. The superiority of one man over another
weaknesses rather than strengths. If someone makes a is only on the basis of God-Consciousness, purity of
mistake or does something we dislike, then we tend to speak character and high morals, not on the basis of color, race,
in a lofty tone which creates stress rather than language or nationality. There is a verse in Holy Quran
understanding. It requires practice. First duty of parents is to which says,
mention to their children about the duties of men towards “O mankind! We have created you from a male and a
other men (Huquq al-‘Ibad) which are: to enjoy good and female, and made you into nations and tribes, that you may
forbid evil, to return the greetings, to visit the sick, to know one another. Verily, the most honorable of you with
respond to the sneezer, to accept an invitation, to assist a Allah is that (believer) who has piety. Verily, Allah is All-
person in distress, to say nothing but good about men after Knowing, All-Aware”. (Holy Quran, Al-Hujrat: 13).
death, try to make good relations with parents, brothers, Another verse of the Holy Quran says: “One should enjoy
sisters, neighbors, relatives, Muslims, Non-Muslims, justice, generosity and kind treatment with relatives”. (Holy
Promote brotherhood, equality, honesty, truthfulness, peace, Quran 16: 90).
love, sympathy, justice etc, Participate in the sorrows and So we have to make our children understand of this that
joys of other human beings, and Care of orphans, poor, there is no superiority over other human beings. Nor do the
needy, widows, slaves and so on. righteous have any special privileges over others. All human
To refrain from having a negative attitude is code of ethics beings are equal.
of a family. The children’s having a negative attitude is The Prophet of Islam (peace and blessings be upon him) set
harmful to them and to the people around them. Parents about to get his companions familiarized to logical thinking

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about life in general and ethical behavior in particular. having meals together, spending time together, do outing
When he thought sending a companion Muaz ibn Jabal as a together. The more time that you spend together, the more
representative to Yemen in order to call the people to Islam shared experiences you will have as a family. Spending
and teach them the practices of the religion. he asked, “How quality time with each other will allow you to get to know
will you judge among them if any legal issue comes up?” to one another better. This will help you figure out what
which Muaz ibn Jabal responded, “I will judge among them matters most to each of you individually, and as a family.
according to the dictates of The Book of God.” He then Schedule a time for the whole family to spend together,
inquired, “And if you do not find an answer there?” and was something like devoting a whole Saturday or Sunday to
told by Muaz, “Then, by the Sunnah of the Messenger of family activities, but all this should be done with keeping
God shall I judge.” Prophet continued, “And if you should mobile phones away.
find nothing upon which to base your judgment in either
The Book of God or the Sunnah of His Messenger?” to Knowledge and Education
which Muaz responded, “I will make my own best Education is acquired through the formal institutions like
judgment, neither shying away from offering it nor using schools, colleges and universities, whereas knowledge is
my authority in offering it to perpetrate injustice.” The gained from the real-life experiences. With acquired
Messenger of God (peace be upon him) then beat upon his knowledge and education, the first major benefit is that
chest and exclaimed, “Praise be to God, who has given His children become enlightened which gives them an
Messenger’s messenger success in pleasing the Messenger understanding of the ethics of the family. With the new
of God.” (Sunan At-Tirmidhi 1327). information that they have gained, they are now in a better
position to understand a certain subject as opposed to their
Togetherness in the Family understanding capacity before. This enlightenment will
The first step towards togetherness in the family is putting cause the children to make better decisions, perform various
the other person first which is a code of ethics for family. As functions in a better way, and adopt better practices when
you are aware the lady of the house does it very well when doing things. Education is not to prepare children for the
she first serves other members of the family. Paying professional life only, and to furnish them with a few
attention towards the children is very important both when practical skills relating to their field of interest. Rather,
they are speaking and listening. Waggle from time to time to education is to prepare the children for life, enabling them to
show you understand what is being said to you (and if you succeed not only in their chosen specialization, but also in
don’t understand, ask). Smile, especially when they do. And life as a whole.
above all else, really focus and internalize what is being said The second benefit of increased knowledge and education is
to you—everyone needs to feel that they have been heard, improved standards in terms of processes and procedures as
even when you can’t give them what they are asking for. well as decision making. The third benefit is at the family
Share personal (but appropriate) stories, talk about your level, as one attains knowledge and education, there is an
struggles and challenges of life. Show love to your children automatic sense of increased self-esteem. This is because
which is the basic essence of the family, and is more than a education increases the value of an individual as a resource.
feeling or emotion felt by an individual, it is an active force An educated individual is more resourceful as compared to
that is unconditionally given by the parents to their children the one who is uneducated. This means that a family with an
and impacts on them more than anything else. It is a deed, educated member is better placed in terms of developing
word or even thought of unqualified goodness, and actual upwards as compared to a family with no educated member.
energy that must be given. The more educated people in a family, the higher the
We should also learn to put the family member first before standards of living and better their general health is.
external commitment to show we care. Maybe we do not That is why Islam attaches great importance to knowledge
agree with our parents’ or siblings’ values or we don’t feel and education. When the Quran began to be revealed, the
that our family has a clear moral direction. We can still be a first word of its first verse was 'Iqra' that is, read. God says,
positive force in our family because our actions can "Read! In the Name of your Lord Who has created (all that
profoundly influence the people closest to us. At the same exists). He has created man from a clot (a piece of thick
time, be sensitive to the people you love. Because values are coagulated blood). Read! And your Lord is the Most
a part of a person’s identity, challenging them can feel like a Generous. Who has taught (the writing) by the pen. He has
personal attack. Look for ways to strengthen and build on taught man that which he knew not" (Holy Quran, 96: 1-5)
common values instead of trying to change someone’s Education is thus the starting point of every human activity.
values that differ from yours. Your values are an important God created man and provided him with the tools for
part of your decision-making process. Keep your family acquiring knowledge, namely hearing, sight and wisdom.
values in mind before making any big life choices. Make God says in Holy Quran;
life choices part of a family discussion. Before major "And Allah has brought you out from the wombs of your
changes are made, call a family meeting to discuss how the mothers while you know nothing. And He gave you hearing,
potential change line up with your family values. sight, and hearts that you might give thanks (to God)" (Holy
Conversation with children is a fantastic way to impart Quran, 16:78).
ethical standards, and parents need to seize every "And say: `My Lord! Increase me in knowledge" (Holy
opportunity. Young developing minds have an insatiable Quran, 20:114).
appetite for knowledge, and a lot of knowledge that our kids Prophet of Islam (Peace and blessings be upon him) said:
need could be conveyed by appropriate conversation. “Knowledge from which no benefit is derived is like a
We all want to be the best which means we have to always treasure out of which nothing is spent in the cause of God.”
keep doing the best. Everyone lives for their family. (Sunan Tirmidhi: 108)
However some things where we can put some effort is “God, His angels and all those in Heavens and on Earth,

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even ants in their hills and fish in the water, call down cheating and daggers its way through deception and lies.
blessings on those who instruct others in beneficial Honesty leads to a fulfilling, free life. A truthful person
knowledge.” (Sunan Tirmidhi: 422) makes his own opinion after seeing or analyzing the things
“Acquire knowledge and impart it to the people.” (Sunan himself. Truthfulness also builds trust. A truthful person
Tirmidhi: 107) knows how to distinguish between fantasy and reality. He
The impacts of knowledge and education are tremendous on does not try to exaggerate or impress others. Many times
the family in particular and on modern society in general. truths are bitter but still the quality of truthfulness supports
And it has value only if we know where to find it, what to truth and is always ready to bear the consequences. Honesty
do with it, how to select it and how to integrate it into a is not just about telling the truth. It is about being real with
system. Moreover, it has been seen that the educated person yourself and others about who you are, what you want
is to be a good and responsible human being, which entails and what you need to live your most authentic life. Honesty
all the other life aspects and activities. promotes openness, empowers us and enables us to develop
Family life and parent education focuses on healthy family consistency in how we present the facts. Honesty sharpens
functioning within a family systems perspective and our perception and allows us to observe everything around
provides a primarily preventive approach. The skills and us with clarity. Tell the truth and keep your promises. Be
knowledge needed for healthy functioning are widely honest and dependable. These are characteristics we all can
known: strong communication skills, knowledge of typical cite as important in our life. No one would have an issue
human development, good decision-making skills, positive with this ideal being taught to children.
self-esteem, and healthy interpersonal relationships. The Almost all the religions guide its followers in every step of
goal of family life education is to teach and foster this their lives. There are various good manners and excellent
knowledge and these skills to enable individuals and morals that all religions teach us and truthfulness is one of
families to function optimally. Siblings in the family need to them. The religion Islam has declared it as one key element
receive the care and education properly to play an effective of a good character. Telling truth and avoiding lie are two
role in reforming society and eliminate injustices in the basic characters of a true and faithful Muslim. To speak
society. Apart from this parents are responsible to educate always truth means to be faithful, honest and trustworthy
themselves to be good parents. Proactively before becoming person. As a result, everyone in the society will trust such
a parent, individuals should realize what is needed to be a person and get inspiration from him. Many people will try to
good parent. follow him, particularly his intimate friends and companions
will also try to become like him and be distinguished in the
Honesty and Truthfulness society. God ordered the believers to tell the truth and urged
Honesty is one among the very important ethics of family them to be among the truthful. HE revealed too many verses
which children must know from the beginning. Honesty about truthfulness in Holy Quran. He says:
always holds the traits of truth, and as it is said ‘Honesty is “O you who believe! Be afraid of Allah, and be with those
the best policy’, which focuses on traits of morally correct who are true (in words and deeds).” (Holy Quran 9:119).
values. Truthfulness defines the characteristic of being “O you who believe! Keep your duty to Allah and fear him,
honest and telling the truth. It corresponds to reality and and speak (always) the truth” (Holy Quran 33:70).
reality is perceived to be the truth. Truth is pure and cannot “It is only those who believe not in the Ayat (proofs,
have even a minute lie attached with it. Truthfulness can evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc.) of Allah,
also be defined as being honest in your words as well as who fabricate falsehood, and it is they who are liars.” (Holy
actions. Truth means no lie in whatever situations you are. Quran 16:105).
Being able to tell the truth in any situation is the point. Prophet Muhammad (Peace and blessings be upon him) was
When learnt at a young age, it will be carried on even when known as a truthful and honest person by the Arabs of
they are old. It is a very good virtue to have whether in the Makkah even before declaration of his Prophethood and the
family or outside. Telling the truth requires us to sometimes emergence of Islam. He emphasized on this great type of
face the anger of the opposite person especially when we conduct and advised all human beings to always speak the
have made a mistake. However telling the truth saves us truth. One of his traditions as narrated that the Prophet
from many troubles and keeps the relationship strong. (Peace and blessings be upon him) said:
Provide the children an honest feedback in a gentle and “I enjoin you to be truthful, for truthfulness leads to
supportive fashion. This will make them learn how to do righteousness and righteousness leads to Paradise. A man
things for a family. For example, tell them a person is may continue to tell the truth and endeavor to be truthful
considered to be an honest person if he does not steal until he is recorded with Allah as truthful. And beware of
anything even if it is a small piece of chocolate or cheat lying, for lying leads to wickedness, and wickedness leads
anyone. And anyone can depend on such persons as they to the Fire. A man may continue to tell lies and endeavor to
will never cheat or betray. If a person does something that is tell lies, until he is recorded with Allah as a liar.” (Sahih
morally wrong or hides his wrong actions, then it is clear Muslim 2607)
that the person is not honest. Honest people possess a Therefore remind your children about this ethics all the time
reputation in the society and this quality is considered as a whenever they speak. Teach them; telling the truth is a key
very important quality of a human being. An honest person for all doors and kinds of goodness that lead to Paradise. It
is always appreciated by good people and is generally has too many benefits: It is one of the major and basic
rewarded by appreciation. Honesty is going to take you necessities of our society, it is one of the excellences of
places in life that you never could have dreamed and it is human attitude, it brings glorious benefits, while lying is
the easiest thing you can practice in order to be happy, one of the basic elements of destruction and corruption in
successful and fulfilled. Honesty is part of the foundation of the community, and it helps individuals attain rewards from
the core values and ethics of a family. Honesty cuts through God here and hereafter.

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Trust worthiness courageous. This will help the children to face any difficult
The importance of being trustworthy is central to many situations in future with a lot of courage. Sometimes we
areas of life. Trust is the belief and confidence in the have to stand by our family members in times of their
integrity, reliability and fairness of a person. It is an trouble. We all go through fears and insecurities and
essential human value that quantifies and defines our sometimes health issues for a long time or sometimes even
interdependence in relationships with our families and financial crisis. In such situations we should be courageous
society. Trust is a choice we make toward someone when and help each other evolve and face the situations.
we are inspired that they have either earned our confidence When we have the support of parents and others in the
or are by some other means worthy of it. The simplest way family, we have a greater shot at being successful. We need
to teach your children the way they can prove their the emotional support of our family to pursue goals that
trustworthiness is by keeping their word to others once it is stretch us. Emotional support is easier to come by when we
given. They should know that this word acts as a sort of have strong relationships with the family, and the strong
promise that one will or will not do something, and they relationships are built on respect and belief in our parents as
must always keep these promises in order to build trust with well as in the other members of the family. Parental love is
others. It is difficult to gain, and when broken even harder to typically the most unselfish emotion, as most parents are
redeem, and the greatest value of trust is not the actions we willing to sacrifice their very lives for their children. Having
make with it, but rather what trust accomplish in us on our children is a life-altering experience and one that typically
quest to become people who are worthy of receiving it. expands one’s sense of compassion and awareness of other
After all, many people will openly admit that their opinion children. A parent is to provide a safe and nurturing
of other person is largely based on whether or not that environment, where the children can experience love, care,
person is able to keep his word. The child’s opinion of and respect. Such love is necessary for the proper growth of
his/her parents can drop considerably if his/her parents the child and so that the child can learn to love others. A
consistently break their promises to him/her, which can parent is to provide for the children’s material comfort,
create a conflict of emotion regarding the child’s love of including proper nutrition and shelter, as well as is possible.
his/her parents and wariness of their words and actions. Treat defining your family values as a family decision. If
Trustworthiness to the good and to the bad is one of the your children are a little older, such as teenagers, make sure
Islamic duties and all Muslims are required to keep it they feel like they are an important part of the process. Say
carefully. God says in Holy Quran: things such as, "We value your input. How do you feel
“But if one of you trusts another, then he who is trusted about including education as one of our primary family
should deliver his trust, and let him be careful (of his duty values?” You can also encourage your kids to explain their
to) Allah, his Lord.” (Holy Quran 2: 283) opinions. Try saying, "What do you like about this choice?
“Surely Allah commands you to make over trusts to their Why do you think adding humor as a family value is the
owners.” (Holy Quran, 4: 58) best option?" If your children are still pretty young, you can
“Successful indeed are the believers (23: 1) ……….... find other ways to get them involved. Try having them draw
Those who are keepers of their trusts and their covenant” a picture of the things they love about your family. Also
(Holy Quran, 23: 8) parents need to be extra cautious to know the kind of people
“Those who respect their trusts and covenants; and those their children are dealing with, right from the young age.
who stand firm in their testimonies; and those who guard The family shapes children, and builds values nourished by
(the sacredness) of their worship; such will be the honored guidance, support, encouragement, and so forth. Because of
ones in the Gardens (of Bliss)" (Holy Quran, 70:32-34), the gravity of the responsibility entrusted to children, the
Trust has a very broad sense. It contains an ocean of greater their mission, the more thorough their training
meaning, but underneath it all is the sense of responsibility, should be. For this reason Islam extends the guardianship
the sense of having to appear before Almighty God and to over a child until he/she reaches adulthood and maybe even
account for one’s actions, the details of which are given in beyond in certain matters.
the traditions of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him)
who said: Patience and Forgive Freely
“Every one of you is a guardian and everyone will be asked Patience indicates wisdom, broadmindedness, high morality,
about his subjects. Imam is a guardian. He will be asked and great steadfastness; it allows us to calmly accept
about his subjects. A man is the guardian of the persons in burdens and delays that would frustrate most people. It is a
his household. He is answerable about them. A woman is comprehensive virtue in Islam that encompasses
the guardian of her husband’s house. She will be asked perseverance, endurance, forbearance, diligence, and
about her responsibility. The servant is the guardian of the restraint. It is a characteristic of enlightenment that develops
articles of his master. He is answerable about his in the heart of a Muslim. In more than seventy places in the
responsibility. (Sahih al Bukhari) holy Quran, God refers to and praises patience. He promises
“There is no belief for him who is not trustworthy.” (Sunan the patient of His contentment and liking:
Abu Dawud). “O you who believe, seek help through patience and prayer.
"Fulfill the trust for the one who entrusted you, and do not Verily, Allah is with the patient”. (Holy Quran 2:153)
cheat the one who cheated you." (Jami` at-Tirmidhi Book 12 “Allah loves those who have patience (Holy Quran 3:146).”
Hadith 1264) It is the duty of the parents to make their children
Therefore, trustworthiness helps strengthens relationships understand that the strength of our gratitude is tested in
with the family and as well as with the society. difficulties when we have to face a difficult time, and God
Almighty wants to see how patient we truly are when we
Courage and Support lose our job or a loved one, or when we feel ill and or get
Parents need to support and encourage their children to be injured. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him)

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said, gratitude extends well beyond material things.

“How wonderful is the case of a Believer! There is good for ▪ Ask children to keep a journal and write down a few
him in whatever happens to him -and none, apart from him, things each day that they are thankful for. Write and
enjoys this blessing.”(Sahih Muslim). send a letter of gratitude to someone.
This means after every difficulty there comes an ease and ▪ Teach them to think of your values daily. Take a few
who stay patient and thankful to Allah in difficult times will minutes every day to check in with yourself. At the end
get a great reward. In another tradition, The Messenger of of each day, you can ask yourself questions. Try
Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said: thinking, "How did my actions today relate to Value of
“Whoever would be patient, then Allah will make him family. This will only take a few minutes of your time,
patient. There is no gift that is better and more but can be very helpful in keeping your values front and
comprehensive than patience”. (Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī 1400) center.
Forgive and Forget is the melody of a stress free life. There ▪ Helping your own parents should encourage your kids to
are times when due to a habit some family member would take up a challenge that will benefit the whole family.
have spoken something bad about you in public which could ▪ Providing real life examples of how to put the moral
have been insulting. We tend to carry the hurt feeling within precept into practice.
us even if the person would have realized and apologized to ▪ Participating in real life situations which demonstrate
you. how to live morally.
▪ Use of athletics as a means of developing the spirit of
Gratitude cooperation, tolerance, and unity among the group.
Gratitude involves being thankful of and acknowledging ▪ Issuing warnings and reminders of the rewards and
that there are good things in the world beyond us. Having punishments of the Hereafter.
Gratitude develops the best Attitude. Be Thankful to each ▪ Developing in them the attitude of Gratitude towards
other for the company and the support that each one God Almighty will change their life.
extends. Doing special things on special occasions is also a As we open the Holy Quran, the first chapter starts with
way to be thankful. We should be thankful to God for ‘Alhamdulillah’ which is generally translated as “all praise
providing us with a family, and practicing gratitude at home is for God.” In reality, the word Alhamdulillah signifies
is good for our physical and mental health, and can improve gratitude in our everyday lives. Hence, when someone asks
our relationships, all of which can help us improve our how we are, Muslim often respond with, “Alhamdulillah.”
attitude towards life. The people who practice gratitude at Similarly, Islam teaches us to be thankful throughout the
home feel considerably happier than those in a control day: for waking up from sleep, after eating our meals,
group; they are more joyful, enthusiastic, interested, and drinking water, etc. In this way, one’s entire life revolves
determined. An attitude of gratitude helps us succeed. Try around gratitude to God. Gratitude is also the key to
these steps to instill a mind-set of gratitude in your children attracting abundance, prosperity, peace and success in one’s
at home from the beginning. life. Actually adopting the process of gratitude as a way of
▪ Teach them to Say "Thank you." When "thank you" are life will teach us discipline and brings us closer to God, and
instilled in our vocabulary at home, a lifelong practice hopefully melt us within his heavenly kingdom.
begins, even if it doesn't stick at first. You can gently In Holy Quran, God says, “If you are thankful I will add
restate a sentence with polite language inserted, or more (favors) unto you but if you show ingratitude then my
suggest saying "Thank you" together. punishment is terrible indeed” (Holy Quran 14:7). This
▪ Teach through role play. If your little one is too shy to verse proves that our gratitude is beneficial for us alone, and
say "thank you" in a social setting, they can pretend to our ingratitude is harmful to us alone. The intelligent
teach their stuffed animals or dolls to do so, while you individuals who comprehend this basic teaching of Islam are
play along. referred to as those who are wise, who possess a mature and
▪ Create daily or weekly routines. A regular question, comprehending intellect.
"What are you most thankful for today?" can serve as a “Exalt Allah for having guided you and that you may be
comforting routine at bedtime or a highlight of a weekly grateful.” (Holy Qur’an 2: 186)
dinner ritual. Give concrete examples at dinner. One will enjoy the blessings of his Lord, thanking his Lord
▪ Thank those who serve. Your example of acknowledging for those blessings and praising Him for helping him to be
those who quietly make a difference in your life, from among those who give thanks. So always gratitude to
the bus driver to the person sweeping up the aftermath of Almighty for His blessings and be humble.
a family lunch out, sends a powerful message to your Many other things like Dressing Appropriately, Speaking
children. with Respect, Helping others, Opportunity, Patriotism,
▪ Set an example and show appreciation by conveying you Freedom, Individual rights, Respect for the law,
paid attention to real effort: "Your room looks so nice Cooperation, Commitment to excellence, Creativity and
with the toys in their bins. I am so happy that you expression, Satisfaction in achievements, Financial security
remembered to put them away" or stability, Spending philosophy, Productivity, Persistence,
▪ It is the duty of parents to tell their kids why they are Religious Values, Lawful earning are also the ethics of a
grateful to have them. It goes without saying that we good family. After all every person is liked or disliked due
love our kids, and that we are thankful beyond words for to the manners they display. Having good manners also
their love, their smiles, their hugs and so much more. builds your personality.
When we tell them what makes them special to us, their
self-esteem is increased for the right reasons (not Conclusion
because they have the latest Smartphone or because they “When a human being dies, his work comes to an end,
are dressed fashionably). Our example shows them that except for three things: ongoing charity, knowledge (people)

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International Journal of Multidisciplinary Research and Development

benefited from, or a pious son who prays for him” (Sahih thing. It can only be effective if the society in return has
Muslim). structures, norms and values in place to acknowledge the
What do you want your family to be like? How do you wish family’s contribution and to challenge the family to keep
people would describe you? Twenty or thirty years from contributing.
now, what do you hope your children will say about how We are born with nothing, and we go with nothing, but one
they grew up and what they learned from you? A good way great thing we can achieve in our beautiful life is, a little
to find the answers to these questions is to identify what you remembrance in someone’s mind and a small place in
truly value, and then prioritize the values you want to focus someone’s heart, and this is possible only with our ethics,
on as a family. The approach of figuring out your values those ethics that are built in our family.
based on what you would like to pass down to your
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