Communication Skills

Journal
During my time in this communications class, I've learned the importance messages and
conversations through people, whether it be non-verbal and through body language or through
messages where no body language can be shown. Communication isn't just interpersonal and
individual, its public, in group settings and through wide mass media. Communication is also based on
cultures, family life, status, and education levels. In these paragraphs I will discuss communication
competence, perception of self, verbal and non-verbal messages, listening skills, and interpersonal
communication.

Communication competence
My biggest strength as a communicator is Interpersonal Communication. I believe this is most people
strengths as well. In chapter one it states, “Interpersonal communication meets rational needs by
communicating the uniqueness of a specific relationship”. I never knew being in a long-term
relationship would strengthen my communication skills and maturity so much. Having a partner really
makes you work through problems and encourage oneself to reflect on your choice of words. I believe
because of my opportunities to work through miscommunication, that it has strengthened my
communication skills for the future, especially in my career.

Group communication would be the spotlight of my weakness. This tends to be true in meetings,
because my fear of standing up for myself, or fear that I will be wrong or judged. In chapter one it says
“You know from previous experience working in groups that have more communicators usually leads
to more complicated interactions”. I laughed at this because it's too accurate. More people means
more opinions. especially when people are closemind or you're working with people in power. This
sadly happens to be true In my work environment. I am apart of an engagement team for my job, and
my manager shoots down every one of my ideas because they are different from hers. Because I've
been put down, I struggle giving my opinion in group settings.

Perception of self
Media has influenced my self-perception immensely. So much negative information can be fed to you
from influencers. Because I grew up with technology, I was influenced greatly by the internet and
influencers I idolized. Chapter 2.1 says “In terms of self-concept, media representations offer us
guidance on what is acceptable or unacceptable and valued or not valued in our society”. It's almost
impossible to get on social media without avoiding any sort of weight loss hacks or unrealistic
women's standards. It's extremely difficult and depressing to be a woman in this day and age where
men yearn over unrealistic body standards. Women fixate on looking like these girls because that's
what men want. I personally have ruined my mental health trying to look perfect and social media has
played a huge part in that.

Culture has influenced my perception of others the most. Growing up in a very religious household, I
was taught certain values and opinions very different from the outside world. Not that that is a bad
thing, but I was very sheltered and in a bubble. Seeing people different from me caused me fear and
caused me to judge them because they looked or thought differently than me. Chapter 2.1 says
“Unless we are exposed to various cultural groups and learn how others perceive us and the world
around them, we are likely to have a narrow or naive view of the world and assume that others see
things the way we do”. The first time I was exposed to the outside world was when my family took a
trip to New York city. It was a shocker to say the least, and I didn't handle it well. It has taken years to
expose myself to the real world and understand different cultures and races, and I've loved it and I
believe it's so important to be kind to other cultures and respect what they believe in.

Verbal and non-verbal messages

Last week, I got in a minor car accident and the other person involved was from Venezuela and didn’t
speak any English. Having this be my first car accident, the language barrier definitely didn’t make this
any easier. We struggled to communicate, and we tried using Google translate and nonverbal
communication to get the point across. I was surprised with how much we could “talk” using actions.
When the highway patrol arrived, he only spoke English so he could only get my side of the story. In
that moment I realized the power I held and how I could flip the story for my own benefit. Now of
course I didn’t, and I took accountability for my actions. It was a real eye-opener on how language or
ethnicity can impact communication.

Listening skills
I didn't even have to take the assessment to know that I struggle listening. Obviously, this has had a
huge impact on my life in a negative way. It's effected my romantic relationships, friendships, and it's
even affected me in my job. In the Lego movie, a line is said by Chris Pratt where he says "Great! I think
I got it, now tell me that whole thing over again I wasn't listening." I have adapted this quote in my
everyday life and use it constantly to joke around about my weakness. In chapter 5.1 it states, "In
terms of academics, poor listening skills were shown to contribute significantly to failure in a person’s
first year of college." This made me laugh but also hurt inside. During my first year of college, I did
drop out, now I don't believe it was from my lack of listening, but I'm not surprised this was a proven
statistic that goes along with it.

However, out of all the listening skills, my best would be empathic. I do understand and feel for many
people, especially my loved ones. I'm very in tune with emotions and when someone I love is suffering,
I also suffer with them. "it’s often much easier for us to tell our own story or to give advice than it is to
really listen to and empathize with someone else. We should keep in mind that sometimes others just
need to be heard and our feedback isn’t actually desired." I learned this from an early age, hearing
someone else story or hearing their advice doesn't fix your issue. It meaningless to the grand scheme
of things. They only person who can make a decision based on their specific situation is themselves.
Comforting and support in a time of need however does help.

Interpersonal communication
I received a high score on my communication competence. I believe I've experienced things in my life
that have developed this skill. Such as, bullying from others, romantic relationships, a workplace
environment, and most importantly, several years of therapy for mental illness. However, with that
being said, I've always struggled with communicating with friends. To me, they seem easy to lose,
therefore hard to set boundaries and create an everlasting relationship. Lately me and my friend have
been in a fight over her lack of communication and support. Chapter 6.1 says “Obviously, if one
partner always insists on having his or her way or always concedes becoming martyr, the individuals
are not exhibiting interpersonal communication competence.”

Reflecting on our relationship, I realized I wasn't that all perfect either. And my interpersonal
communication competence could improve in my friendships. I set goals to be more understanding,
kinder, and selfless. Friendships are incredibly important to me, and they should be treated as such. I
will work on collaborating and compromising with my friend to end this conflict and improve on my
interpersonal communication.

In conclusion, my biggest takeaway from this class is when we learned about listening skills. I always
look for ways I can improve on myself. I didn't realize how much listening played a part in
conversations. You always think about the verbal aspect of conversations but never the receiving
side. What's the point of talking if there's no one to listen? Communication is a 2-way street. Listening
can involve responding or even a simple nod to let the speaker know they are heard.

So far, in this reflection, I've used the word communication 25 times. I hope the importance of
communication in our daily lives has sinked in now. It's often looked over as something easy to