100 Funniest Jokes of All Time Reader's Digest

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The 100 Funniest Jokes

from the Last 100 Years
Linda Roman
Updated: Apr. 06, 2023
A century's worth of laughs from the

pages of Reader's Digest.
RD.COM
Our favorite jokes of all time

Humor has certainly evolved over the
years, yet many jokes manage to
withstand the test of time. To
commemorate the 100th anniversary of
Reader’s Digest, our team of humor-
loving editors combed the archives to
come up with this collection of the 100
best jokes published in the magazine
since 1922. In fact, we couldn’t stop
ourselves, so you’ll actually find more
than 100. If a century’s worth of humor
isn’t enough for you, there’s even more to
explore in Reader’s Digest—whether
your tastes lean toward hopelessly corny
jokes, easily remembered short jokes, or
irresistibly bad jokes. And if you’re
looking for a special someone to share
your favorites with, our collection of
funny pickup lines might come in handy.
Get Reader’s Digest‘s Read Up

newsletter for humor, cleaning, travel, tech
and fun facts all week long.
RD.COM
Holy cow!
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One
says, “Have you heard about the mad cow
disease that’s going around?”
“Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m

a penguin.”
RD Issue: October 2003
RD.COM
Where there’s smoke

“Once, my father came home and found me in
front of a roaring fire. That made my father
very mad, as we didn’t have a fireplace.” —
Victor Borge
RD Issue: January 1950
00:00 / 00:57
RD.COM
Identity crisis
“Your mother has been with us for 20 years,”
said John. “Isn’t it time she got a place of her
own?”
“My mother?” replied Helen. “I thought she

was your mother.”
—Joseph Lozanoff
RD Issue: December 1987
Whydon'tpiratestake
ashowerbeforethey
walktheplank?
Theyjustwashuponshore.
RE
RD.COM
Aarrrrgh!
Why don’t pirates take a shower before they
walk the plank?
They just wash up on shore.
RD Issue: September 2019
RD.COM
With a vengeance
In Denver, the members of a Sunday-school
class were asked to set down their favorite
biblical truths. One youngster laboriously
printed: “Do one to others as others do one to
you.” —Lee Olson, The Denver Post
RD Issue: April 1957
RD.COM
A taxing situation
According to unofficial sources, a new
simplified income-tax form contains only four
lines:
1. What was your income for the year?
2. What were your expenses?
3. How much have you left?
4. Send it in.
—The Link
RD Issue: March 1945
MORE FROM READER'S DIGEST
Ther ’sanExcitng
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Taking stock
One of the oddities of Wall Street is that it is
the dealer and not the customer who is called
broker. —Dallas News
RD Issue: October 1929 (the same month as

the infamous stock market crash!)
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Shrink rap
Two Hollywood stars ran into each other at the
door of their psychiatrist’s office.
“Hello, there,” said one. “Are you coming or

going?”
“If I knew that,” said the other, “I wouldn’t be

here.”
—The American Weekly
RD Issue: November 1958
Ataparty,ayoungwife
admonishedherhusband,
"That'sthefourthtimeyou've
gonebackforicecreamandcake.
Doesn'titembarrassyou?"
"Whyshouldit?"answered
herspouse."|keeptelling
themit'sforyou."
RE
RD.COM
Just desserts
At a party, a young wife admonished her
husband, “That’s the fourth time you’ve gone
back for ice cream and cake. Doesn’t it
embarrass you?”
“Why should it?” answered her spouse. “I keep

telling them it’s for you.”
—Selma Glasser, Good Housekeeping
Agrasshopperwalksintoabar.
Thebartenderlooksathim
andsays,"Hey,theynamed
adrinkafteryou!"
"Really?"repliesthe
grasshopper."There'sa
drinknamedStan?"
RD
RD.COM
Cheers!
A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender
looks at him and says, “Hey, they named a
drink after you!”
“Really?” replies the grasshopper. “There’s a

drink named Stan?”
RELATED: Bar Jokes
Youcan'tbelieve
everythingyouhear-
butyoucanrepeatit.
RE
RD.COM
Listen up!
You can’t believe everything you hear—but
you can repeat it.
RD Issue: August 1931
RELATED: 100 Funniest Quotes from the Past

100 Years
RD.COM
This one’s a gem

A Hollywood hostess, giving instructions to a
new maid just before a party, cautioned: “Now
remember, Marie, when you serve my guests,
don’t wear any jewelry.”
“I haven’t anything valuable, madam,”

answered the maid. “But thanks for the
warning just the same.”
—Peggy McEvoy
RD Issue: April 1941
RD.COM
Boyfriend trouble
A teenager brings her new boyfriend home to
meet her parents. They’re appalled by his
haircut, his tattoos, his piercings.
Later, the girl’s mom says, “Dear, he doesn’t

seem to be a very nice boy.”
“Oh, please, Mom!” says the daughter. “If he

wasn’t nice, would he be doing 500 hours of
community service?”
—Maria Salmon
RD Issue: October 2008
100 Jokes 41
RD.COM
The end is near

Every time a little boy went to a playmate’s
house, he found the friend’s grandmother
deeply engrossed in her Bible. Finally his
curiosity got the better of him.
“Why do you suppose your grandmother

reads the Bible so much?” he asked.
“I’m not sure,” said his friend, “but I think she’s

cramming for her finals.”
—Carl T. Schuneman
RD Issue: January 1958

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RD.COM → Humor → Jokes

The 100 Funniest Jokes

A century's worth of laughs from the

Our favorite jokes of all time

Get Reader’s Digest‘s Read Up

“Yeah,” the other cow says. “Makes me glad I’m

RD Issue: October 2003

Where there’s smoke

RD Issue: January 1950

“My mother?” replied Helen. “I thought she

RD Issue: December 1987

They just wash up on shore.

RD Issue: September 2019

RD Issue: April 1957

1. What was your income for the year?

2. What were your expenses?

3. How much have you left?

RD Issue: March 1945

MORE FROM READER'S DIGEST

RD Issue: October 1929 (the same month as

“Hello, there,” said one. “Are you coming or

“If I knew that,” said the other, “I wouldn’t be

—The American Weekly

RD Issue: November 1958

“Why should it?” answered her spouse. “I keep

—Selma Glasser, Good Housekeeping

RD Issue: March 1981

“Really?” replies the grasshopper. “There’s a

RD Issue: March 1994

RELATED: Bar Jokes

RD Issue: August 1931

RELATED: 100 Funniest Quotes from the Past

This one’s a gem

“I haven’t anything valuable, madam,”

RD Issue: April 1941

Later, the girl’s mom says, “Dear, he doesn’t

“Oh, please, Mom!” says the daughter. “If he

RD Issue: October 2008

The end is near

“Why do you suppose your grandmother

“I’m not sure,” said his friend, “but I think she’s

RD Issue: January 1958

100 Jokes 19Information About Cookies

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