The Bachelor(s)

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/24168379.

Rating: Explicit
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Relationships: Jung Hoseok | J-Hope/Min Yoongi | Suga, side Kim Namjoon | RM/Kim
Seokjin | Jin, Jeon Jungkook/Kim Taehyung | V/Park Jimin
Characters: Min Yoongi | Suga, Jung Hoseok | J-Hope, Kim Namjoon | RM, Park
Jimin (BTS), Kim Taehyung | V, Kim Seokjin | Jin, Jeon Jungkook, A
man lovingly referred to as Producer Dad, A man unlovingly referred to
as D which stands for dick but don't tell him that, Original Male
Character(s)
Additional Tags: Not Canon Compliant, Alternate Universe - The Bachelor Fusion, the
bachelor - Freeform, Attempt at Humor, Humor, Everyone Is Gay,
everyone is the same age, I promise this story is NOT a chatfic I just had
a little too much fun playing with formatting, Eventual Smut, Eventual
Happy Ending, Intense Hair-Pulling Kink
Language: English
Series: Part 1 of The Bachelor(s) Series
Collections: bts fics ive read ♡
Stats: Published: 2020-05-13 Completed: 2021-02-24 Words: 202,976
Chapters: 30/30
 The Bachelor(s)
by Helena_Hathaway

Summary

“Run that by me one more time, chief.”

He groans out the anger that he wishes he could take out by smacking Yoongi across the face.
“Twenty-five guys stepping out of the limo. Fifteen roses. Nine weeks. Then you pick one
guy.”

“Pick him to do what?” Yoongi says, playing dumb. He gives Yoongi a stare so intimidating
that his balls shrivel back into his body. “Fuck, oh my god, I’m just kidding! Fall in love blah
blah blah. I got it.”

Notes

I think it’s only fair to preface this fic by saying that I have never written a BTS fic before
and I do Not Know what I’m doing. I have written exclusively My Chemical Romance fics
for six years, and I’m also high key a baby army, so I do not know the lingo and I am also not
“smart.” But this is me trying my best. I also did as little research on the actual show The
Bachelor as possible because I do not want to.
 Night One
Chapter Summary

In which Yoongi is a rapper and an idiot.

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

{{

The Bachelor: Boys Will Be Boys SK Promo #3 (Min Yoongi)

Interviewer: (Excitedly and absolutely incapable of reading the room) What made you
decide to enter as a contestant on the first ever season of The Bachelor: Boys Will Be Boys?

Yoongi: (Under his breath) What a ridiculous [censored] title.

Interviewer: I’m sorry, I didn’t quite catch that.

Yoongi: Honestly, I thought there was a cash prize.

Interviewer: You… you what?

Yoongi: I thought that like, if I came on the show and won, I’d get money. I’ve never seen the
show, the original one or whatever. I thought it was a bunch of single people fighting to the
death or something. And I’m like, I can definitely cut a [censored] if I need to.

Interviewer: (Dejectedly) Okay…

Yoongi: But I already signed the contract, it’s too late to turn back now.

Interviewer: (Trying to steer the conversation into a direction that won’t get him fired [he is
definitely going to get fired]): So how does it feel now that instead of being a contestant,
you’ve been chosen to be The Bachelor [Excited jazz hands]?

Yoongi: I still don’t win any money.

Interviewer: Just to be clear, you are aware this is a dating show, right?

Yoongi: It has been explained to me.

Interviewer: …and that twenty-five men will be vying for your love?

Yoongi: [unbelievably censored] That’s a lot of people I’m going to let down.
 Interviewer: Well this is sure to be an exciting season isn’t it?

Yoongi: Do you think they’ll let me make all the other dudes do a Wipeout course? I want to
weed out the weak among them.

Interviewer: [Damn it, man, this is your first gig in the biz, you have to get some goddamn
emotions out of this man] Do you think you’re going to be falling in love this season?

Yoongi: [Laughs hysterically]

Interviewer: (Facing both God and his father who told him he’d never amount to anything)
Tune in this Friday for the series premier of The Bachelor: Boys Will Be Boys!

Yoongi: (Quickly so as to make his voice heard before the cut) Buy my [censored] mixtape
“Agust D” you [censored] cowards!

**Notes from the director: Do not let this interview see the light of day or so help me.

}}

“You are not a pleasant man!” the interviewer says to him once he’s sure the camera is no
longer rolling.

“Aw, you don’t say,” he says, mockingly. Yoongi disagrees though. He is a very pleasant
person. Most of his friends consider him to be dazzling and wonderful, or at least, that is
what his mind insists that they think of him. He’s just super pissed he got himself into this
situation, and he’s going to be a jackass about it. The cash prize thing isn’t the true story, but
it’s the impression he wants to give off. Street cred and the like. He’s a rapper and he needs a
certain amount of reputation so that he can call someone a motherfucker and people will take
it seriously.

It’s his fault, of course it’s his fucking fault. He submitted a headshot and a copy of his self-
produced-recorded-in-the-bathroom-of-his-friend’s-studio-apartment-because-it-had-great-
acoustics mixtape to every goddamn company he could find. If you throw enough bait in the
ocean, surely someone will snap. He’s not a considerably patient person, so after a very crafty
google search of: “how to be famous”, and a very glamorous looking email from TB BWBB
SK OTC LC – he still does not know what any of these letters stand for – reached out to him
for an audition, well obviously he turned himself into the bait and tripped over his own feet
running to be noticed. I’m special and worthy, make me your star!

Obviously, he doesn’t have an agent because 608 people have listened to said mixtape on
SoundCloud and a whopping ten copies of it have sold on iTunes, and four of those copies
were bought by his mom, but she will deny it until the ends of the earth. He probably could
have used an agent, or common sense, or just someone to smack him in the head before that
fateful audition two months ago.

“Bach-e-lor,” he read out looking at the extremely official looking poster board sign propped
up on a music stand before him at the doors of that very glamorous brothel turned home
brewery turned themed café turned TV Studio. “That is an English word, I do not know what
that is.” He also didn’t really care about looking it up, because he is an overwhelmingly lazy
person. It cannot be overstated, Yoongi should have someone follow him around to tell him
when he’s being a fucking idiot.

“Boys will be boys,” he read the next line. The person who made the sign did not think about
the spacing of letters, so the second part of the sentence was all crammed together. B o y s w
illbeboys. Very sexy. “Well… I am a boy,” he nodded to himself, looking down for
confirmation, even though no one was there to witness his joke.

So, he just walked right fucking into that studio and pretty much fucked up his entire future
in one viciously fell swoop. What’s the worst that could happen, he thought? He goes on one
of those K-Pop Idol shows and he doesn’t win but he gets his name and face out there so
people go buy his mixtape and then some company is like “damn you’re fine” and he gets
scouted and then becomes an international superstar. What could go wrong?

He did think it was kind of weird that they asked him what his preference in men was, but
he’s never breathed the air of a talent agency, so he thought maybe that’s just how these
things are. Yes, of course I like fellow musicians. No, I’m not a vegan, what do I look like to
you, a monster?

To say it’s been a whirlwind would be an understatement. It only really starts to be real in the
two weeks leading up to Night One, where he’s having his picture taken relentlessly, shoved
into various seats and interviewed by various people who don’t get paid enough. Made up
like a doll, advised to wear better clothes. He feels like an idol but excluding the being
excited about it part. He’s trying to maintain his sleek, bad boy composure throughout all of
it, and he’d say he’s doing a fairly good job, but there are cracks in the act, surely.

Two months and an unreasonable amount of Soju as a coping mechanism later, his bags are
packed and all ready to move into this unforgivingly modern mansion for the next nine
weeks. The mansion is the ugly kind of modern, not the “that looks relaxing and practical!”
modern. All ninety-degree angles and manufactured pleasantness which don’t quite hit the
mark. He supposes that the architecture is rather prophetic for the chaos that Yoongi is about
to unleash inside its walls. If he’s going to be the next bachelor, and the first gay one, then
goddammit if he isn’t going to raise hell.

“You’re telling me that twenty-five people are going to live in this thing?” Yoongi asks the
producer who he has actually quite lovingly decided he will refer to as “Producer Dad.” See,
he’s a pleasant person. Off camera, that is.

“Has anyone even explained how this show works to you?” Producer Dad says.

“Men. Roses. Hand to hand combat? Um… that’s the gist of it. I’m sure I’ll pick it up along
the way, I’m a fast learner.” He did sign his soul away to this goddamn circus, though, so fast
learner or not, he needs to be less of an idiot.

“So tonight, after you have your first impressions with everyone, you’re going to hand out
fifteen roses. Only fifteen people will be in the mansion after that, not twenty-five.”

“I don’t think I can remember fifteen different people’s names,” Yoongi says.
“Try your hardest.”

“At the end, once I’ve eliminated all of the contestants, do I get to keep the house?” It’s ugly,
but he can always sell it and get something else.

“How is it that you have not been fired yet and replaced?”

“Between you and me, I think it’s because I’m unparalleled sexy,” Yoongi says. He might be
lazy and a little bit full of himself, but he’s pretty sure the actual reason is that the powers that
be want this show to fail. They don’t want a gay bachelor any more than the next “Forced
Diversity” crybaby, so they chose someone who’s going to make it crash and burn so that
they have an excuse to say “See! It didn’t work, so now we can’t ever do it again.” They did
choose the right man, because gay? bisexual? questioning? all you can eat buffet? whatever
the hell Yoongi is, he is the man for the job.

“Do I get my own bedroom? My own bathroom? My own closet? Walk in closet? This is
very important.”

“I’m confused, you only have one bag?” Producer Dad says.

“You’re saying the truck hasn’t come yet?”

The Truck? Oh, Producer Dad you are in for it.

“This is going to be a long nine weeks.”

Yoongi shrugs. It’s going to be stupid and dumb, but he’s going to be living the good life.
Nice bedroom which he will sleep very late into the morning in? Does the mansion come
with a chef? Maybe even a bathtub? Fuck! They’re going to have a lot of trouble trying to get
him to move out. He’s sure if he’s stubborn enough they’ll decide to forego the glue remover
required to detach him from his bed, because it would be far easier to just stew in misery over
the abyss of lost profits that this train wreck of a show is going to create than to buy
industrial grade Yoongi Be Gone.

“I’ll play nice with the other boys as long as I get to advertise my mixtape every five minutes
of screen time.” Something tells him that this ultimatum means he’s not going to be playing
nice with the other boys.

He had been lying about the truck. It’s more just a van. As he walks up to the house, with its
weirdly glamorous driveway, he sees it parked out in front, seeming to gleam in the harsh
summer sun. Yoongi is not particularly good at packing, though, so a lot of the reason for
why he takes up so much space is because he left all of his clothes on hangers and just threw
them into an impractical number of trash bags. Producer Dad is not especially willing to help
Yoongi move all of his stuff into the mansion, so he does his best impression of the cutest cat
you’ve ever seen to all of the crew, but Producer Dad has spitefully told all of his Producer
Siblings not to help Yoongi move in his armfuls and armfuls of clothes. And all of his
personal bedding. And some audio recording equipment because what if he’s sitting in his
bed avoiding the responsibilities of being a reality TV star and he comes up with the next
Rap God? If this wasn’t a nine-week venture, he wouldn’t have travelled so heavy, but it is a
nine-week venture so fuck it. If he’s going to be a diva then he will be the diva.

He’d like to think he unpacks all of his belongings pretty quickly. The hard part is making it
up the stairs into the master bedroom. When he sees it for the first time, he gets an evil glint
in his eyes. The room itself is nice, he does have his own bath and an okay closet, but what
really gets him is the bed itself. He’s a struggling musician, he’s never even been in a room
with a bed this big. He is realizing that the bedding he brought isn’t the right size, but still,
this bed is big enough that he could starfish with room to spare. He could fit two people on
here to starfish. He’s going to get used to it quite quickly. So quickly in fact that after he
shoves all of his clothes in the closet, he passes out on the bed for a solid three or four hours.
It’s amazing.

He is awoken when a Producer who is not Producer Dad comes screaming for him, panicked
because apparently the crew thought he had run away, but actually he just sleeps like a brick.
She is telling him to get changed because Tonight is the Night, and he groans because he was
unconscious for so long that he blissfully forgot why it is that he gets to sleep in this nice bed.
He wants to stay in this big fancy mansion just for the comfort of it, he doesn’t want to
actually exert effort. Effort is disgusting.

Then he’s being put into a suit. Dragged into a trailer outside of the mansion that he’s sure
will never make it on camera, where about five different people all start attacking his face all
at once. His hair is done, he doesn’t know what there is to do, they put so much product in,
but it looks the same now as it did before. He gets makeup slathered all over him. He’d never
worn makeup before they started shooting promos for the show, but he looks damn good in it
he decides as he looks at himself in the mirror. How does he still look tired, though? Probably
because he doesn’t want to be here. His eyes look heavier than they felt before he took that
nap. Ah, that nap. He will remember it fondly until his dying days.

“Can I just eat?” he complains after possibly four hours or possibly twenty minutes. “Give
me food. Please. How humiliating would it be if you could hear my stomach growl on
camera?”

Producer Dad rolls his eyes, but he relents and then Yoongi is being given what seems to him
like someone’s leftovers but he’s a hungry bitch, so he doesn’t really care.

“Why do you film it so late at night?” Yoongi asks, because the sun set nearly an hour ago
and now he’s just standing by, waiting for shooting to begin.

“It’s for the drama of it.”

“Yeah,” he rolls his eyes, “that makes total sense.” These entertainment types are so weird to
him. They don’t seem like bad people, they just have vastly different priorities and thoughts
as he does. Who would think that people walking out of a limo is more dramatic at night?
These guys! Everyone is in agreement about it. Yoongi feels like a child in comparison to
everyone around him.

The production quality of this show overall seems astoundingly low. The house is pretty nice
and all that, but no one seems to know what they’re doing. Or maybe he just thinks that
because he himself does not know what he’s doing. He shouldn’t even be here. Why the fuck
is he here?

He’s not a reality star, or an idol. He’s not really an anything. He’s just some guy who got in
over his head and signed up for the wrong kind of show, and now he’s here.

There is some truth to the fact that he did technically sort of a little bit kind of definitely
know what he was doing. Initially, yeah, he had no clue. But it didn’t take that long for him
to realize what kind of show this was. He’ll deny it to anyone who asks, make up some new,
even more outrageous explanation for how he got here, but he did say yes knowing full well
what he was doing.

He’s not very proud of the fact that he’s here, but it was on purpose, more or less. It’s not the
way he would like to have done it, but people will know his name after tonight, or technically
on Friday when this airs. The mixtape has been out for months and no one has noticed it.
Months! He needs something. This is definitely not the way he thought it would happen, but
this is how it is going to happen.

“Are you ready to shoot your pre thoughts?” Producer Dad asks as he beckons for the host of
the show to come by. Yoongi has talked to the host like a whole two times so far, and has
decided that his name is Host Uncle, because he is never content with anything that Yoongi
does.

“Fuck, I mean, I guess so?”

“Please try to refrain from swearing, okay? It costs the network actual money when we have
to bleep your words.”

“I’ve got to get it all out now then,” he says before doing something that would not be
condoned by the network or his own mother.

“I do not get paid enough for this,” Producer Dad says before Yoongi is being put on his
mark and then being counted down.

“So Yoongi, you’re about to meet twenty-five men for the first time, one of them could even
be your future husband! How are you feeling?” Host Uncle asks in a news reporter sort of
voice that doesn’t sound natural.

“Well, I certainly am feeling emotions,” he says, though he refuses to show any actual
emotions on his face.

“What kind of emotions might those be?”

“Disbelief,” he says, “did not think I would ever be here.”

Host Uncle has a fake laugh and then misinterprets the words either intentionally or
unintentionally. “It’s almost like your whole life has culminated in this moment!”

“Okay,” he says apathetically. “I’m just here to promote my mixtape.”

“Cut!” Producer Dad shouts. “Yoongi, we talked about this.”

“Sure, but I ignored you.”

“Let’s try that again, but please avoid plugging your mixtape this time, okay?”

Yoongi groans loudly. One time was painful enough and now he’s got to do it again, and he
really exerted as much emotion as he was capable of exerting in that first take, which is little
to none. He doesn’t think he’s going to be able to top that.

They do at least five takes. Yoongi doesn’t watch reality shows, it never occurred to him just
how much of what goes on the screen is rehearsed and fake. They only let him off the hook
when he goes completely over the top.

“Yes of course I’m super excited!” he says with the most insincere tone known to man, but no
one seems to notice it, or maybe they’re all just so thankful that the words he’s saying aren’t
negative that they’re choosing to see it as a win.

“Do you think that one of these men is going to be your soulmate?”

“Well, I sure hope so,” he says before he smiles at the camera with his cheesiest, gummiest,
toothpaste commercialist smile.

“It’ll have to do,” Producer Dad finally says.

“The name of my autobiography,” Yoongi mutters. “Can I eat more food now?”

Producer Dad makes an exaggerated sound of frustration, throwing his hands in the air, which
Yoongi takes as a yes. He goes back to the trailer where he knows that they’re storing the
food, and he then proceeds to eat his emotions away. His emotions are very hungry.

A lot of people he doesn’t know are trying to tell him things. Lots of crew members who
seem like perfectly nice people but they’re talking about things he doesn’t care about so he
instead decides to tune them out and think about himself instead.

What’s nine weeks? He’s been on this earth for much longer than that, he’ll be able to make it
through nine weeks. He’s in a big fancy house. It may be hideous but it does nevertheless
have a very good bed. He thinks lovingly of that bed for the next several minutes.

From outside the trailer, he hears Producer Dad shout, “First limo is en route!” All hell breaks
loose. Everyone starts scrambling like a bomb went off. Yoongi is being dabbed off and he’s
not even sweating. People are fixing his everything. Then he’s being tugged back outside to
stand in front of the mansion at a dramatic angle.

He remembers that he has to start acting now. Well, maybe not "acting," but he has to prepare
himself to be on camera now and for the next two and a half months. The last few days of
promos and pre-interviews are just the appetizer, now it’s time for him to become what he
hates. Remember Yoongi, you’re only here for the plug. You just have to make it through this
with as many cheeky self-plugs as you can get. People absolutely eat up reality stars. This
could be great for you.
He’s actually getting nervous. He didn’t think he was going to get nervous, but he is. It’s not
nerves because he’s worried about meeting all the guys, it’s nerves because the weight of
everything around him is starting to fall on his shoulders and he is not strong enough not to
be crushed by it.

“The limo is going to be here in five minutes, are you ready, Yoongi?”

“I am full of regret and lots of food.”

“You just have to be personable; I know you can do it. I know somewhere in there, deep,
deep, deep down, you’re not an asshole.”

“I’ve yet to find that person,” Yoongi responds, smirking.

“You’re insufferable. You know what to do, right? You only have to connect with 15 guys
tonight. That’s all you have to do.”

“Run that by me one more time, chief.”

He groans out the anger that he wishes he could take out by smacking Yoongi across the face.
“Twenty-five guys stepping out of the limo. Fifteen roses. Nine weeks. Then you pick one
guy.”

“Pick him to do what?” Yoongi says, playing dumb. Producer Dad gives Yoongi a stare so
intimidating that his balls shrivel back into his body. “Fuck, oh my god, I’m just kidding! Fall
in love blah blah blah. I got it.”

Producer Dad then turns white as a sheet as he hears something in his headpiece. “It’s here!”
The camera catches the shot as everyone runs away so as not to be seen in shot. Yoongi is left
standing there, the drama of the dark night finally starting to make sense to him as he watches
the limo slowly make its way to the driveway right in front of him. How cliché it would be to
say his fate is behind those doors, yet too true to deny.

He doesn’t know if he has ever felt so alone and transparent in his entire life. He’s standing
here, made up and plasticized. Full of annoyance and nerves and stupidity. Thinking about
what he would be doing if he wasn’t here. In one of those dead-end jobs that he uses to
support his nonexistent music career. No one knowing his name. But soon the scene of him
standing here waiting for that door to open will be seen by the whole country.

He feels fake right now, and he knows that’s because his on-camera self thus far has been
fake. He isn’t this person. He’s genuinely a nice person. He definitely needs his mouth
washed out with a brillo pad, but he’s a good friend, a hard worker. Here he stands feeling
like an action figure bent to do The Man’s will.

The minute that the door to the first limo opens, he has a very disheartening realization. Shit.
He can’t be a jackass to all of these guys. It’s just not inside of him. He wants so much to be a
jackass. It would be such a pleasure. But that would not be fair. It would be so awful for this
to be the very first season of this show, queer representation hoorah and then to be a piece of
shit to everybody. These are the people he’s going to be sharing the screen with for so many
weeks, and they are real people. Real people who actually came here to find love and what
they got was Yoongi taking the piss. Sure, some of them might just be in it for the fame and
drama of it all, not unlike himself, but they’re still human beings.

Alright, Yoongi, what are you going to do? He decides that maybe he will make nice. He’s
going to be an asshole to the camera without question but to these dudes? Who came all the
way out here to find love? Putting themselves into such an uncomfortable position? That
wouldn’t be fair. By no means is Yoongi going to fall in love with anyone, he has some self-
respect, but he won’t be a jerk. He will try his hardest not to be.

The door opens in such a way that Yoongi cannot see who’s inside. He doesn’t mean to but
Yoongi looks at the camera and makes a very nervous, and probably very cute expression.
This is actually about to be real.

The first person that steps out of the limo is… a guy. Korean. Wild, who would have thought?
He’s wearing a suit, it could be the exact same one as the one on Yoongi. He has two arms,
two legs. Silver hair, dyed. Quite a nice texture. Looks soft. Great skin care regimen. Alright,
so he’s hot. Yoongi has two eyes and a dick, he knows when someone is hot.

The distance between them can’t be more than a few yards and yet the length of time that it
takes for this guy to walk up to Yoongi is centuries long. He’s quite a bit taller than him, but
Yoongi is not a very large person to begin with.

He stops in front of Yoongi, neither of them is doing anything that would be defined as
“smiling” but it also couldn’t be defined as anything else.

“Hi,” the other man says. Yoongi takes in a deep breath as subtly as he can. So it begins.

“Hi,” Yoongi responds. Had he meant to say more? Wow, they’re both going to be good at
this.

“I’m uh, this is a really weird format to meet someone for the first time isn’t it?” he says
sheepishly. Time is not progressing in the way that time usually progresses. He’s not sure if
he’s entered a dream or not. It’s not that it feels magical, it just doesn’t feel grounded. He’s
not really here. This isn’t really happening.

“Yes,” Yoongi says. Maybe once his mouth stops being dry, he’ll graduate to more than one
syllable at a time.

“It’s really nice to meet you.”

“Yeah.” Uncomfortable silence… maybe he should mention his mixtape?

“Are you nervous?” he asks.

“I’m just awkward,” he says, smiling just a little bit to show how uncomfortable he actually
is. It’s not a sincere smile. It’s a mom just told me to smile for a picture but I’m eleven and I
just want to get through this vacation in one-piece smile.
“Me too. I didn’t know I would be going first. It’s a lot of pressure to say something
meaningful… I guess I should tell you my name,” he says. Yes, that might help, you very
pretty man. “I’m Namjoon.”

“Yoongi.” Yoongi goes in for a handshake but Namjoon misreads it, so they have an
awkward hug with Yoongi’s hand in his stomach. Holy shit, he went into this hoping so much
to be a serious, stoic, confident rapper promoting his mixtape, and this is Bachelor One and
he already wants to hide in a sewer.

“This can only get weirder from now on,” Namjoon says with actually a really cute smile,
and Yoongi doesn’t know why but those words actually comfort him a little bit. “Good luck. I
hope when we talk again it’ll feel a little less terrifying.” Oh that’s right, Yoongi reminds
himself that after all these introductions he has to go and have one-on-one conversations with
everyone and try not to get super drunk while he does it. That’s going to be the hardest part.
He wishes he had warmed up with at least something to make his posture a little less straight.

He watches as Namjoon walks past him into the house, and due to the fact that Yoongi has
hormones, he looks at him as he walks past and is very sad to learn that there is no ass to
speak of. Twenty-four people to go whose asses will surely be more impressive.

Now it’s round two and he’s still uncomfortable but he’s done this once so now he thinks he
can handle it a little bit better. Fuck, this one is cute. This one is bubblier. The instant he steps
out of the limo, his face already has a smile on it. Christ, this is a good one. So was the last
one. This is already hard. There’s no way he’d have been able to be an asshole to faces like
these, even if he tried.

“Jimin,” he announces after a few words. Yoongi can tell that he’s going to go in for a hug
because that radiates off of this guy. It’s a nice hug. They exchange a few pleasantries. It
doesn’t feel natural, but it’s not awful. Jimin walks away and Yoongi is starting to think that
this might not be as disgustingly fake as he thought it would be. Jimin made it a little less
extremely uncomfortable. Oh, he has very much got an ass. Yoongi makes an unconscious
nod before he remembers that there’s a camera on him.

As much as he would like for it not to be true, a lot of the guys run the same as the previous.
This one has black hair, but this one has black hair. That one has piercings, oh those are very
nice piercings, but that one has a velvet suit jacket and that really does something for Yoongi.
He remembers that he has to make it through twenty-five different people, and there are too
many names to remember, so he starts assigning them letters.

“Nice to meet you A, I’m Yoongi.”

“Oh, hello B, I’m Yoongi.”

“Thank you so much for saying that C, my name is Yoongi.”

He doesn’t tell any of them that they are being given letters. That would be rude.

“Jungkook.” Okay, yeah cool, your name is L now. “Seokjin.” Congratulations contestant
number whatever, your name is Q. Yoongi skips the letter P because he feels like that would
just be cruel, especially considering that Q is unbelievably handsome.

It’s been half an hour, is he nearly done? Producer Dad shows him his fingers. Four left.
Thank god. He only has to meet four more people. But then he has to go talk to all of them.
But then, quite a mercy, he gets to eliminate ten of them! No need to remember them
anymore. He’s got to keep the first two because they’re the only ones whose names he thinks
he remembers, but other than that it’ll be a crap shoot.

“Taehyung.” Oh, his voice is deep, and Yoongi decides that he likes that. Yes, very much so.
He instantly forgets the name that this man just assigned himself, but V seems to suit him
quite well. Goodbye V, and yes, Yoongi looks at his ass too. But he’s gotten fairly good at
being subtle about it. The viewers at home will still probably be able to tell. Maybe it will
make him genuine and endearing? Maybe he’ll just be called a pig.

The next one has brown hair. A very squishy face, which Yoongi has been told he also has.
The second he steps out of the limo he can tell that this one, much like the second guy who
Yoongi wants to say was called Jimin, that this guy radiates something. A very bright smile,
if a little nervous. He looks very good in his suit. Everyone that has walked out of the limo
has looked nice and been nice, but there’s something about this one in particular that just gets
right to Yoongi’s core.

“Nice to meet you,” he says, which is a phrase that Yoongi has heard countless times before,
and it’s a little disappointing that that is how this one has started the conversation.

“Hello,” he says. To be fair, Yoongi’s first line hasn’t had a lot of variety either.

"Your bio failed to mention that you were this cute," he says, and gives Yoongi a respectful
once-over. Yoongi refrains from rolling his eyes. “Before I say anything else, I read on your
bio that you're a rapper?”

His eyes immediately sparkle. Yes! Finally, someone is asking him about it! “I am! Yes!” Is
this excitement? Is that what he feels? Excitement? Let me talk about myself please!

“That’s really cool. You may be here on this weird show now, but the next minute you’ll be
an idol.”

“A man can dream, right?” Yoongi says. His squishy cheeks are about to make their debut to
the camera, he can just tell.

“You look like you make a good rapper,” he says. His face becomes warm. Is this blush? He’s
super pale, this guy is going to be able to tell that he’s blushing.

“I have a mixtape, you should listen to it,” Yoongi stumbles a little bit on his words. He
realizes that this is the first time he’s managing to get a plug in for his mixtape, so he looks at
the camera quickly and says, “Agust D, check it out.”

“How about you tell me more about it when we talk later, yeah?” he says smiling. This guy
can most definitely tell that Yoongi is blushing. You can read it on his face like a book.
Yoongi also suspects that he knows what he’s doing. He’s so charming. He’s cute. Everyone
 has been cute, literally everyone, but this one complimented not just his face but also said he
looks like a good rapper. Fifteen roses to give out, this guy has already earned one.

“Two left after me, but make sure I’m the one you remember, okay?” he says. Fuck. Yoongi
nods, and he turns to watch him go, but then he realizes-

“Wait, you didn’t tell me your name!”

“Silly me,” he says, smiling with his soft oh-my-god-yoongi-are-you-gay? cheeks, really
bright like he’s a light source and Yoongi is a flower that needs it to grow. “Hoseok.”

Alright, Hoseok. You get to have a name instead of a letter. You’ve earned it.

Also? Very nice ass.

Chapter End Notes

Please leave a comment if you're interested!

 Chapter the Second
Chapter Summary

Pretty, pretty, pretty.

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

{{

(The Bachelor: Boys Will Be Boys SK Intro Kim Seokjin)

Hello world, I’m Kim Seokjin, or Jin, or just “handsome.” I’m not picky. To get the elephant
out of the room, yes, I am very handsome. No, you don’t have a chance with me. Maybe
Yoongi does, but my standards are pretty high. [Raising a flattened hand near his head] you
must be this tall to enter [wink].

I’m a line cook from Gwacheon, and, no, that’s not what I want to be doing. I went to school
for acting, and you might have seen this beautiful face in the background of a drama or two,
but that’s as far as my career has taken me. This counts as acting right? I can put this on my
resume?

I’m not here for exposure, but that can’t hurt. I guess I’m just too busy usually to actually
find my soulmate, so I thought maybe he’d be here. From what I saw of Yoongi’s audition
tape, I know he’s my type, in the face, now it’s time to find out if he’s more than just a pretty
face.

I guess I’m looking for someone who can keep up with me, not that I move particularly
quickly, because trust me when I say I do not. What I mean really is that I think my dreams
are fast paced and I’m not really here to play games. It’s not so much that I’m a workaholic,
you know, I’m just always busying myself on something.

I love to cook, so I want someone who will let me make him food and also never complain
about what I make, because if he complains I’ll just eat his food too. Working as a line cook,
it’s not my dream, but I do think I’m good at it, and I’m happy where I’m at. If acting never
pays off for me, I think it’d be cool to have my own restaurant, you know?

I hope what I get from this experience is to learn from it, though obviously the perfect
scenario is that I fall in love. No matter what, I’m determined to have fun and be as free and
open about who I am while I’m here.

**Notes from the director: If the show gets good rankings, put this guy’s face on the T-shirts.
 }}

“So you’ve met all of the guys, are you excited to get to know them a little bit better?” Host
Uncle asks.

“Well, I will say, it wasn’t as harrowing as I thought it was going to be,” Yoongi contends.
He’s standing outside of the mansion still, the lights on the bottom floor are all on now and
he wants to be inside it. He’s a baby when it comes to the cold and the moon has cooled
down the world quite dramatically over the last hour. How can it be so hot all day and then
get this cold? He needs someone cute to offer him their jacket. He supposes that is the point
of the show… fuck you, God, he’s a human not a lemming.

“Were there any people who stood out right away? Any thoughts as to who is going to get the
first impression rose?”

Yoongi puzzles his face for a second. He’s sure he’s heard that term before, but he doesn’t
remember what exactly it means. Presumably, he’s going to give a rose to someone based on
his first impression of them. He remembers a whole two names from all of that. He’s been
stood out here for over an hour just greeting people and being friendly, which is exhausting.
He actually wasn’t an asshole to anyone, though! He deserves some credit for all of that.

He thought he remembered three names, but he has forgotten the first guy’s name. He knows
Jimin, because Jimin was shorter than him and his personality was too bubbly to forget. He
definitely knows Hoseok. Other than that? Well, there was A, B, C… so on.

“I think I’ll find out once I go inside and actually talk to them,” Yoongi says finally. It’s both
an excuse to dodge the question and an excuse to go inside.

“Don’t be too eager!” Host Uncle dotes. “Do you think there was some potential in that group
just now? A lot of really amazing and attractive men and they all want you to fall in love with
them. That’s a lot of pressure, don’t you think?”

“I don’t feel, pressure, no. I think, well I know, I’m not going to go out of my way to get
someone to fall in love with me,” he says. “What happens will happen. It’s not something
that I can force. I am, I guess, looking forward to actually knowing who they are.” He does
truly think he’ll get along with a lot of these guys. They are, after all, just people. And if they
all got chosen to be on this show, he would assume there is some sort of selection process to
find people he’s compatible with. Not just a handful of people they think will cause the most
drama, though he’s sure there are a few of those thrown into the bunch. Falling in love is not
something he plans on doing, actually the idea of it is idiotic, but he thinks he’ll still probably
be able to make a friend or two. It’s easier to make friends when twenty-five men all gather
together specifically to get him to fall in love with them. They literally all signed up to be his
friend. Ah, the power.

Yoongi does a pretty a good job at this interview, he answers several more questions, actually
puts a smile on his face for some of them. He can tell it’s good because Host Uncle and
Producer Dad both decide his first take is good. He’s almost proud of himself. He wishes that
he had made a little bit more trouble for the crew, but it’s a relief knowing it’s done and he
gets to go inside now.
His heart falls a little bit when they tell him that his meeting spot for all of the guys is
actually outside on the back porch. Fucking hell. He made nice for the camera but now he has
to stay outside. For how long? Five to ten minutes with each person! How is he going to
make it? That’s five times twenty-five if he’s lucky. That’s a lot of minutes. The bed is calling
to him like a siren. We will be together again soon, my love.

“There’s a heat lamp back there, Yoongi,” Producer Dad says, sighing with the disgust when
he realizes that he can actually read Yoongi’s thoughts. Yoongi thinks their banter is playful,
but the only reason Producer Dad hasn’t strangled him is because murder is illegal.

“Thank god,” Yoongi says.

He gets a brief reprieve as he walks into the living room, now out on his own because the
crew aren’t supposed to be seen on camera. He smiles with the knowledge that he’s in control
now. The most rascally part of him tells him to tear out big patches of grass on the front lawn
and throw them at the producers. He settles for kicking a pebble. Yeah, that’ll teach ‘em.

He decides to muck it up to the camera a little bit as he walks up the front steps. “This is
going to be a long night isn’t it? Don’t tell anyone, but I forgot pretty much everyone’s
names.” The door is a heavy mahogany which Yoongi struggles with for longer than he
would desire to be seen by people watching this show.

When he steps into the house, he hears one voice louder than all of the rest. He doesn’t know
whose voice it is, just that he’s heard it rather recently, but he couldn’t draw you a picture.
The entry way isn’t quite grand but it’s still very nice. The steps that lead to the second floor
are against the wall to the left, and then an open archway leads straight into the heart of the
house. He enters into the living area, a camera following along behind him like his shadow.
The living area is enormous so as to accommodate the size of the group it was made for. As
expected, a whole bunch of men are all packed into various couches having conversations
with each other, when Yoongi enters.

The voice that was louder than all of the rest is on the hunt for food, that’s the gist of what he
hears. “If I don’t eat something soon, I’m going to just eat the couch cushions. Or I will eat
anyone who gets in my way of the pork strips.” Yoongi laughs a little bit, and everyone who
hadn’t noticed him come in, which is only a handful, all stop their conversations to look at
him.

He has a little whiplash now, with everyone looking at him. Twenty-five men which is – one
two three four – fifty eyes on him all at once. The hungry guy, who’s fairly tall, with the
broadest of broad shoulders is looking at him, not quite embarrassed but surely wishing
Yoongi had heard something a little more gentleman-like out of him. Little does he know that
it’s words like those which will guarantee him one of fifteen roses in just a few hours.

“Hi guys, uh, so it was really cool to, meet everyone for the first time. I can definitely tell
that there are a lot of cool people in this room,” he says. He forgets, maybe just for the
briefest moment, how much he doesn’t want to be here, acting nice both for the sake of the
camera and everyone gathered here. “I definitely think I’ll be able to at least make a few
friends while I’m here, because everyone I met was very kind. Or at least, good at pretending
to be kind.” He chuckles, but only a few people register that it’s a joke. He sees at least one
person give a side eyed glance to someone else. Oh, so there are some strong personalities in
the mix. He hopes not too many. “This is going to be an interesting nine weeks for everyone,
but I think it’ll be a fun experience for all of us.”

He feels pretty good about his speech. Everyone is still looking at him. He looks around the
room and recalls snippets of information from many of these faces. He notices the guy who
first stepped out of the limo. A very good face, very stoic and serious, but there’s something
sweet and sincere to it. Yoongi wishes he remembered his name. Of course, there’s Jimin
over there in a corner, seeming to have already made a few friends. A guy who he knows for
a fact he nicknamed L. Scanning, scanning, scanning. There’s Hoseok. He stands out a little
bit. Yoongi hadn’t noticed earlier, but he’s not wearing the prim and proper suit, white shirt
and tie like everyone else. His look is more relaxed, a light pink shirt instead of white, and no
tie to speak of. Instead, the pink shirt has an exaggerated collar and sleeves, which poke out
of his jacket. It’s a style Yoongi’s seen before, very 80s, but never seen it pulled off that well.

Alright so it’s night one and he has a preference. No one ever said that wasn’t allowed.

“Um, so anyway, I, well I’m going to be out on the porch, and I hope to get to know you all a
little bit better. No matter what happens, if you get a rose or not, I just hope that everyone,
um, has a good time,” he makes a small, scrunched up face for just a second, and then nods.
Yoongi walks around the edge of the room to where the door leading out onto the porch is
located, with his cameraman walking along behind him.

He walks through the sliding screen door that exposes out onto the raised porch. Beyond that,
a big open field, fenced in somewhere far enough away that he can’t see it’s end in the dark.
A good amount of space to get some ‘friendly’ games going. Not enough space for the
Wipeout course that Yoongi requested.

There’s a little alcove on the far end of the porch, mostly out of sight from the windows that
make up the living area. It feels secreted away, out of sight from the people inside who are all
surely trying to catch a glimpse of him. In the alcove, Yoongi takes his spot in the sitting area
inlaid under the roof canopy which he assumes is to keep rain away. As promised, just behind
the booth is a big heat lamp which exposes his back to a very nice warmth.

Now that he’s sitting here, he understands why this is the spot where he’s supposed to film
his meetings. This spot is undeniably romantic. Yellow fairy lights are hanging up and along
on the various pillars that support the overhanging roof above. They’re twinkling in the dark
night, richly throwing the scene into a subtle, romantic ambiance. The booth he’s sitting on –
or maybe it’s more of a couch? – whatever you would call it, is soft with red cushions which
can’t be an accident. Red is supposed to be some sort of romantic color. A lesser man than he
wouldn’t be able to resist falling in love with someone in this spot. Yoongi drank a protein
shake once, so he should be strong enough to resist love.

“I’m a little intimidated,” Yoongi whispers to the camera. “I’m not used to so many people’s
attention on me all at once. Everyone looked at me, and I just felt so small. It’s different then
public speaking or performing for a crowd. These guys all want something from me.
Attention, or love. But there’s twenty-five of them, and I’m one person. I guess… wait, hold
on, someone is coming.”
Indeed, someone is coming. The screen door opens and closes and then a silhouette which
gradually turns into a man walks closer.

“Hello, I’m Jungkook, nice to see you again,” he says, bowing ever so slightly when he gets
close enough. Yoongi breathes out through his nose. He can do this. At the end of this tunnel,
he gets to go to bed.

“Hi, um, feel free to sit down,” he says, motioning to the spot right beside him. Yoongi can
tell that this kid is ridiculously nervous. He’s definitely younger than Yoongi, though he
doesn’t know by how much. Yoongi can tell how nervous he is simply because of how formal
he’s being. He also makes a point to sit as far away on the booth from Yoongi as possible
while still being in the camera’s shot. Since Jungkook is the first one out here, he hasn’t had
enough time to get drunk yet. God, Yoongi craves alcohol right now, he just needs to limber
himself out. Maybe he’ll run in and grab a glass of wine. After all, this was described to him
as a cocktail party. There are a lot of men here; it’s definitely a cocksomething.

“Hi,” Jungkook says again. Yoongi remembers that he assigned him the letter L, but he thinks
he’ll be courteous and let this guy have a name for as long as he’s able to remember it for.

He can already tell this conversation is going to be hard. Yoongi isn’t really good at giving
out his personality freely, and this kid is too shy to do it himself. It’s going to be hours of
suffering as he tries to pretend he’s interested in other people. He loves to talk about himself.
It’s not so much that he’s conceited, he just isn’t an expert in anything else. He would win
hella prizes in a trivial pursuit game about his life, and he’d gum it up the whole damn time.
If Producer Dad didn’t have such a huge stick up his ass and let Yoongi talk about what he
wants, then he wouldn’t have to keep bending Yoongi like pipe cleaners to get him to do what
he asks. The more people push him, the more stubborn he gets.

They sit for a few moments. Yoongi tries to make eye contact with him, but every time
Jungkook looks up to see Yoongi looking at him, he just looks back down at a spot on the
ground. Yoongi resigns himself to the fact that he’s going to have to be the first one to talk.
Should he talk about his mixtape? The real question is: has he played enough video games to
be able to reasonably take Producer Dad in a fight? If the answer is no: abort plan.

“Where are you from, Jungkook?” he asks, aborting plan. It’s a childish icebreaker, because
he can already guess the answer from the way he speaks.

“Busan,” Jungkook confirms. “I live in Seoul now, I’m a tattoo artist.”

Yoongi’s eyebrows actually rise high enough that they get swamped by his bangs. A tattoo
artist? This timid little thing? Damn. Does he also happen to eat bricks with his tiny teeth?

“What style?” he asks, only now interested in what he has to say, because there’s no way that
the story matches the picture on this one. That’s not to say that Yoongi doesn’t believe him,
he just wants to feed the caricature that’s being drawn inside of his head.

“I prefer to do traditional and neo-traditional, but I’ve got to make money somehow, so I’ll
do anything that a client asks,” he says.
Maybe this is the key to getting people to open up. Get them to talk about things they enjoy.
Of course it is Yoongi, you fucking walnut. People like talking about their interests. That’s
why Yoongi likes to talk about himself.

“You’ve got some work done,” Yoongi says, looking at Jungkook’s hands which are
anxiously playing a thumb war with himself. He hadn’t noticed the ink at their first
introduction, but he’s definitely not going to say he’s not into it. It just looks like a bunch of
letters to him, though he’s sure there’s significance to it. The art looks incredibly faded,
definitely not new by any means, but hand tattoos fade fast so it’s possible that it’s not as old
as it looks.

Jungkook blushes when he sees Yoongi staring. “I got all of this done right at the cusp of the
legal age. The work I do is a little bit more advanced.” He toys with his fingers a little.
Yoongi could picture himself maybe holding Jungkook’s hand. Maybe Jungkook’s hand
touching him wildly inappropriately. He doesn’t consider that thought to mean a whole lot
right now. Yoongi’s just a little hazy in the whole façade of this show. Part of him can’t help
but to imagine what he’s supposed to want. A viewscreen into what it would be like to
actually take the show seriously and try to date someone.

Jungkook is incredibly cute, that can’t be denied for a second. But Yoongi isn’t here to fall in
love. He’s not here to flirt… well maybe he is here to flirt, but not in a serious way. Not
flirting with the goal of dating. One thing he knows for absolute certain is that he will not
kiss anyone for this show under any circumstances. He’s a horny bastard, but he’s very
content taking care of that by himself thank you very much. So no, this isn’t going to be a
dating show for him. This is just a weird reality show. With lots of really hot dudes. Like a
fucking twink Playboy calendar that Yoongi would buy and keep between his mattress and
box spring.

“Do you think you would ever get a tattoo?” he asks.

Yoongi stews on the thought. Should he, a rapper, get a tattoo? Yes. Does he, Yoongi, want a
tattoo? Yes and no. No one is allowed to see his gooey center but there is a piece of him that
is worried of what doors might close for himself if he were to get decked out like he wants.
Once you make that decision you can’t turn back. He did come on this show, though, and
that’s sure to close a few doors for him.

But damn, would he look hot with tattoos. Maybe traditional style like Jungkook does.
Maybe just a dozen bad decisions that end up looking like one good decision at the end. He
just wants to be someone you hang posters of on your walls to gawk at.

“I think I need to know how my career goes for me, before I make any decisions like that.”
Jungkook nods, sheepishly. Yoongi is afraid that he’s offended him in some way, maybe
disrespected his practice. “I think tattoos are cool though. Yours are great!”

“Thanks. I understand what you mean, but I definitely think you would look really good with
some of my art,” he says, and then seems to realize what he just said and looks down with
wide eyes, a whole monologue of ‘fucking hell Jungkook can you not?’ running across his
face which Yoongi smirks at. Why is this kid so innocent and sweet and yet also dead sexy?
He doesn’t make sense. Yoongi likes it though. He’s fresh. A youngblood that Yoongi could
easily corrupt. Christ, Yoongi, stop being horny.

Yoongi has half a mind to tell Jungkook to relax, to ease up on himself, but he’s enjoying it.
Maybe he’s an asshole. He doesn’t take off the pressure for several seconds, for his own
personal amusement.

“You’re cute,” Yoongi says, chuckling. It’s more to placate him than to flatter him. It has the
opposite of the intended effect and Jungkook just turns pale as a sheet. Good job, dickhead.
“God, I’m sorry. I can tell you’re nervous. It’s okay. I’m not scary.”

“I’ve just never done anything like this before,” he says. Well duh. Going on a dating show
isn’t like going to the gay club to try on a pair. It’s not something that just happens to people.

“You mean this isn’t how you grew up thinking you’d find prince charming?” he asks, faux
shock on his face.

“I can’t say that it is.”

“This show is just like… high definition Grindr.” Jungkook laughs at that comment and
mercifully, Yoongi sees a bit of the tension fall from his shoulders. That’s it, bitch! “Grindr
but make it purple prose.”

“Hopefully a little more meaningful than Grindr.”

“I don’t know, I had a really intellectual conversation with BigDick76 the other day,” Yoongi
says. He’s doing a pretty okay job right now at calming Jungkook down, and he’s proud of
himself for that. Maybe he does have what it takes.

Yoongi jokes around with him for another few minutes. He figures out how to remove
Jungkook from his shell and the person there is much different from the kid who walked up
to Yoongi and whose first instinct was to bow. He’s not shy at all once you know how to
reach in. He’s cute. He’s ungodly cute. Yoongi just wants to put this guy in a box and protect
him.

“I had a lot of doubts about being on this show, Yoongi,” Jungkook says. “Internal, external.
All of that. But I think you’re a really good guy. You’re going to be a lot of fun to get to
know.” Jungkook makes Yoongi feel a little queasy with sweetness, but that doesn’t mean he
doesn’t like it. He has to keep this one on the show, no question. He wants to open him up a
little more. See what else he can poke at, because he likes what he’s uncovered so far.

Yoongi hears the screen door slide open and closed and looks up to see that someone new has
come to relieve Jungkook. Then he remembers that it’s only been like five minutes. And he
has twenty-four fucking more people to go. As easy as talking to Jungkook was, now he has
to do it again. Yoongi is not an extrovert, he never has been. Being around people for too
much time drains him emotionally. He doesn’t even know if he’ll still be human by the end of
the night or if he’ll have turned into a crab, pincers out and ready to pinch anyone who gets
close to him.
“Looks like my time is up,” Jungkook says before the next person gets close enough for
Yoongi to apply features to the form. “I really enjoyed talking to you.” Yoongi knows it’s
sincere, he wouldn’t have even needed Jungkook to say it for him to know. Oh god, that is
such a sweet face. He almost hates to see him go, but then his eyes train on the man that’s
come to interrupt.

Bright squishy cheeks, brown hair, exaggerated shirt collar. “Yeah you too,” Yoongi says
vacantly to Jungkook as he stands up to leave. Yoongi’s focus is now entirely on the new
man. Jungkook who?

“Is this seat taken?” he asks in an over the top on purpose voice. Jungkook looks back at
them over his shoulder, uncertain of whether what he feels is jealousy, but it’s certainly not
not jealousy.

“Yes,” Yoongi says, before putting his feet up onto the seat casually.

“Oh, sorry, my mistake,” He says shrugging. “I’ll come back another time.”

“Yeah, jeez, can’t you see I’m busy?” He turns around and actually walks far enough way
that Yoongi gets a small spike in his chest, and says, “Wait, come back, I might have some
free time before my next appointment.”

He turns back to face Yoongi, a look of surprise in his eyes that is so believable that he can
hardly tell that he’s acting. The man points at himself like it’s a question, an ostentatious
“who me?” He looks around when they both know there’s no one else Yoongi could be
talking to.

“Yeah,” he says and then refrains from calling him a dipshit, because that’s what Yoongi
would call him if they knew each other better. This guy deserves to be called a dipshit. He
just has the most dipshittiest of faces. God, he’s hot.

Yoongi puts his legs down and then looks up at him, waiting. He looks back at Yoongi.
Reading something from Yoongi, but he doesn’t know what. He sits quite a bit closer to
Yoongi than Jungkook had. Yoongi wouldn’t have it any other way.

“You’re the guy who asked me about my rapping,” Yoongi says smiling, unable to hold it
back any longer.

“That’s right. Did it leave an impression?” he says. As soon as he says those words, he and
this man are old friends. He knows exactly how to meld with him. There’s no explanation for
how he knows, he just does.

“The best way for me to answer that question is by admitting to you that I do not remember
the name of a single person I’ve met tonight… Hoseok.” The smile that comes from his face
after Yoongi says his name makes Yoongi’s heart stutter just a little bit. That’s a good smile
on a very good face.

“Wow, impressive. If you need help, I can be your guide,” he says, looking off through the
window where, if they squint, they can both see the tops of a few heads from inside the
house. Only the tallest heads poke through, sorry Jimin. “That one there,” he says, pointing,
“His name, is most certainly not Hoseok.”

“What about that one?” Yoongi points at another. He hopes that none of the boys in there can
tell that they’re pointing at them. He doubts it, as this couch/booth/whatever was put in this
spot specifically to be private.

“His name is probably not Hoseok.”

“But you’re not sure?”

“Oh, you can never be too sure in life.”

Yoongi nods. “That’s fair.”

“And your name… I’m pretty sure it’s not Hoseok either.”

“It is actually.”

“Damn it,” Hoseok says. “I really thought I had this nailed. It’s nice to meet you, Hoseok.”

“You too,” Yoongi says, matching the smile on Hoseok’s face. Pretty, pretty, pretty.

“Alright, so you promised me that you’d tell me about your rapping. Read me the Wikipedia
page,” he says making a soft face as his arms open up like he’s ready to welcome something.
Welcome Yoongi to lay all his words out, welcome Yoongi to lay on top of him. Whichever
comes first.

“I most certainly don’t have a Wikipedia page, no one has bought my mixtape,” he sighs.

“I just meant for you to summarize yourself, dumbass,” Hoseok says. Yoongi looks
astonished that he just called him that, but then his face beams, because that’s the kind of
humor and language he likes to hear. He’s impressed and very much happy to hear Hoseok
saying it right here where the cameras and microphones can hear. Especially since he’s come
directly after polite, mousey little Jungkook. Aw, Jungkook was so cute. Hoseok’s got warm
brown eyes full of sin and importance. Jungkook who?

“Wiley.” Yoongi means only to say it to himself, but it comes out of his mouth.

“You know it.”

“Okay,” Yoongi says, shaking himself back into his own head. Hoseok just literally gave him
the opportunity to plug himself. That’s the entire reason he’s on this show, to plug himself, so
thank you, Hoseok! “So Yoongi isn’t a very intimidating rapper name, is it?”

“No, not particularly,” Hoseok agrees. Maybe not a great rapper name, but he’s sure it would
be a great name to scream out. Just if the situation were to arise where Hoseok would need to
scream out a name. You know. No reason.
“Yeah, so I go by Agust D, and that’s the name of my mixtape as well. It took like, honestly it
took like a few years to make. I had to produce the whole thing myself, because… well I
don’t know actually, I guess I just don’t impress any of the record labels or entertainment
companies, so they didn’t want me.”

“Well why not? Are they stupid or do you suck?” he asks and smiles at the end. They both
know that Hoseok doesn’t believe he sucks, even though he hasn’t even heard his music.
Hoseok has a little bit of faith in him in that regard. To clarify, Hoseok certainly hopes
Yoongi sucks. Just in a vastly different context.

“I think my music is just a little dark and personal. A little too overdone on the introspective
and depressed. I don’t know, I think it’s good.”

“That’s the best kind of music, isn’t it? Cut out your own guts and see who’s ready to feast. I
bet those companies are all going to have big regrets one year’s time. Damn, if they hadn’t
taken away all of our phones, I’d ask you to play your music for me. I’m not going to ask you
to rap right here, though, because I vicariously value your dignity.” Yoongi can’t believe how
this guy just says words. They just come out of his mouth. He’s just naturally like that. Wow!
Say more words, Hoseok.

“That’s actually really nice of you.” Red alert. Literally. Yoongi is blushing. “So, what do you
do?” That’s it Yoongi, steer the topic off of yourself, you can’t burn yourself if you talk about
him.

“I’m a dancer,” Hoseok says.

“That’s a career?” He doesn’t even mean for it to sound the way it does, but he plays it back
in his head and wishes he had said something else.

“What was it that you do again?” Hoseok says with a critical eye and Yoongi opens his
mouth in surprise and also something like pride for Hoseok actually managing to burn him
even though Yoongi thought he had stepped away from the blaze.

“Alright, fair play. What kind of dance?” Yoongi would consider himself a professional in the
entertainment career at this stage in his life. He has been in front of a camera for a whole two
hours now. Ready to teach a Master Class. He’s figured out how to make people talk more,
how to get them to open up to him on screen, and he is using that knowledge, the first skill
taught in his Master Class, now. Producer Dad: eat your heart out.

“Whatever I feel like,” he shrugs. “Freestyle, popping, modern, whatever. I don’t want to go
all ‘dancing is a second language’ shithead vibes on you, but I like to just be moved by it. I
won a few awards too but I’m not here to brag.”

“’Not here to brag’ he says, while bragging,” Yoongi mocks. Hoseok makes a sound that can
only be described as a guffaw, and the fact that the word guffaw just ran through Yoongi’s
mind makes him want to vomit. “How about I spare your dignity and don’t make you dance
for me right here?”
Hoseok puts a hand on his own chest and looks touched, “you’d do that for me?” Truth is,
he’d probably dance right now anyway, but he likes playing along with Yoongi too much to
disagree with him.

“You are… trouble, Hoseok.” Yoongi doesn’t know another way to put it than that.

“You’re saying that to me?” he asks, looking offended.

“Hey, I’m making nice for the camera,” he says, and somewhere very nearby, he can tell that
Producer Dad is looking into a monitor and huffing. Sure you are Yoongi.

“I’d like to see you when the camera isn’t there,” he says, and holy shit is it in Yoongi’s brain
or does he lick his lips just a little bit when he says that? It might be unconscious of him, or it
might not have actually happened, but it sends Yoongi spinning. He reminds himself that this
is a dating show. Hoseok is doing that on purpose. He’s startlingly good at it.

“I’m not so clean cut.”

“Oh, I figured that out before you ever even opened your mouth.” Hoseok says it so
resolutely that Yoongi can’t help but to wonder what it is about himself. Maybe it’s the
bleached white hair, which he put through the ringer to get this color so that he’d look like
the undead. Could also be the piercings, which the producers let him keep in because he said
he’d throw fists and also because of his world-famous pout. Maybe Hoseok could simply tell
because his personality is etched into every note of his face.

“Do you see this hair?” Yoongi points at his own head. “Took like forty minutes. You can’t
even tell they did anything to it, it looks the same as it always does. What’s the point?”

Hoseok laughs, “It looks nice, though.”

“Yeah, but it always looks like this! Now it’s just crunchy and gross.”

“Well here,” Hoseok says. He takes his hand and messes up his hair wildly. Yoongi isn’t
going to admit on camera that he likes it when people play with his hair. Nonetheless,
Hoseok’s action has him feeling some type of way. “There you go, you’ve beaten the
system.”

Yoongi laughs, and then blows a hair away that’s in his eyes. “Is it a good look for me?”

“It looks like you just had a lot of fun.”

Yoongi snorts, “fuck, how bad is it? You’re going to make all the other guys jealous.”

“I’m marking my territory,” Hoseok shrugs. “Like a dog. Without piss of course, cause that’s
not the impression you want to have on a first date. Or any date really.”

Yoongi laughs again. Much of tonight he knows is going to be fake laughing so as not to
make the other guy feel bad, but right now, this is genuine. This is real laughter. It’s kind of
nice just sitting here with him. “I’d be much obliged if you kept your piss to yourself.”
“Will do,” he says, bowing his head slightly which only makes Yoongi laugh a little bit
harder. This boy is cute. This is a good boy. Yoongi approves.

“I can’t figure out why you’re here, Yoongi,” Hoseok says after a couple of seconds.

“Like… cosmically?”

He rolls his eyes. “You know what I mean. You just don’t seem like the type of person to do
something like this,” Hoseok says. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad you’re here. I can’t picture
someone else who I’d rather try convincing to fall in love with me.”

Yoongi scrunches up his face in a way that he knows is cute. “I never thought I’d be here
either.” He can’t tell the truth of how he got here by any means. Not to this guy. He’s too
special. “How about you, why are you here?”

“I want to fall in love just like everyone else in the world. When I first auditioned, I wanted
to just represent myself on the screen. For people to see someone like me, who wouldn’t
normally be represented on TV. Now that I’m here, I think, well I think you’re the only
person I would have picked to be the bachelor.”

“Trouble,” Yoongi reprises. He doesn’t get to say anything else because someone has walked
up to them. Neither of them even heard the screen door open or close, but they’re both very
aware of being interrupted.

“Hi, can I steal him away from you?” the man asks. He’s a beautiful man, a little more
“conventionally” attractive than Hoseok, but not more attractive as far as Yoongi is
concerned.

“Yeah, no problem,” Hoseok says coolly. Yoongi doesn’t want him to go. “Hey, do me a
favor, Yoongi,” Hoseok says before he stands up to leave. Yoongi looks at him, absolutely
mesmerized at how pretty he is. He doesn’t realize that his mouth is slightly open as he looks
at him. Hoseok notices but doesn’t say anything. He just gets very close to Yoongi’s ear,
close enough that goosebumps rise up all over his body. “Don’t give me the first impression
rose, okay? Don’t make the other boys too jealous.”

Yoongi cannot even begin to explain the emotions he’s having right now. Hoseok pulls away,
standing up. If it were up to Yoongi, he would get right up and follow. They can’t have
seriously had five minutes already, right? That was only like two minutes.

“Just jealous enough?” he says in a whisper, covering the microphone on the lapel of his
shirt. He doesn’t know why, but this particular exchange feels like it’s between the two of
them. Hoseok just nods, and Yoongi again finds his mouth opened at half mast, just in awe of
him.

What are you, Hoseok?

“-and I work at a bar-” the man’s voice is a blur in the back of his mind. Yoongi didn’t realize
he had already sat down and started talking.
 “Mhm,” his voice says absently. He’s somewhere else. This show is stupid. A bunch of
strangers all living in one house together, all vying for the attention of one man. They can’t
genuinely believe he’s going to fall in love with anyone, can they?

This show might be a little trickier than he originally thought.

Chapter End Notes

Hey lads, if you like this story, please remember to leave me kudos, or a comment if you
can. It really means a lot to me!
 Fifteen Roses
Chapter Summary

D stands for douchebag.

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

{{

(The Bachelor: Boys Will Be Boys SK Intro Jung Hoseok)

Hello, Jung Hoseok right here. I’m from Gwangju, and I never learned how to swim.

I’m a dancer, I’ve been training to be a dancer since I learned how to walk. It’s pretty much
all that I’ve ever really done. I’m sure you’re about to cut to footage of me dancing [cut to
footage of him dancing]. I left school a few years ago, and then, I don’t know, kind of refused
to go whichever way I was supposed to in life, so right now it’s part time work with whoever
will have me in addition to my dance crew, which is my real job… I just don’t get paid for it.
I’m still figuring out a way to make a real career out of it. Living in this mansion for nine
weeks I guess is just one way for me avoid thinking about it… only joking!

Why am I actually here? Well a lot of it is because I thought it would be a laugh. To throw
myself into probably the weirdest situation possible and see what I can make of it. I’ve
always been so detail-oriented and perfectionist, and this is going to throw that out the
window, but hopefully it’ll be fun, who knows? I like to have fun, especially when I push
myself too hard and I always push myself too hard so, this is a break from maybe my self-
created chaos.

I guess I’m also trying to show the country a different type of man on TV, you know? I feel
like we don’t see enough representation of any sexuality, but when we do, it’s always this or
that, repressed and depressed or loud and proud, but I’m here I guess to represent bisexuality,
and maybe just like concerted brightness? Not that there’s anything wrong with anyone being
whatever they are, it’s just, well, there aren’t a lot of underground dancers on the scene who
are open with their sexuality. I just don’t think that we really get to see a lot of people of
different types of lives, so I’m bringing one background.

Uh, I don’t know if I’m going to be the one, or if Yoongi is my one. I haven’t met him yet!
How am I supposed to know! All I saw was the audition tape. He’s pretty cute, and now that I
know he’s a rapper, he’s definitely got my attention. I often think I could be a rapper. Maybe
he’ll show me a few tricks. Anyway, I am excited. I hope to win, but only if it’s right, you
know? I don’t want to be in it for the wrong reasons.
 I guess what I’m looking for is someone who is willing to commit all the way with me, but
they also have to be my best friend. No reason to go through a relationship if I don’t feel like
I can be an idiot in front of them, because I’m an idiot most of the time. I bring that too, to
my relationships. Sort of an openness to just play around and be ridiculous. It’s important for
my relationships to be serious without feeling like I’m taking it seriously.

I’m so excited for the show! It should be a fun few weeks. I hope Yoongi’s the one, and that
I’m the one for him, because I didn’t come all the way out here to leave empty handed. I just
really want someone to love me and take care of me, because that’s what I want to give
someone else too.

I’m ready, Yoongi, let’s go!

**Notes from the director: why did we even cast this guy?

}}

It would have been great if they had sent the boys out in the same order that they had walked
out of the limo, but apparently everyone on the production crew fucking hates Min Yoongi.
They’re coming out completely randomly, and Yoongi has to scramble before admitting to
every single one that he doesn’t remember their name. He understands why the production
team don’t like him, but he doesn’t appreciate it. Yoongi is the reason why the phrase “you
can dish it, but you can’t take it” was invented. He can dish it. He can dish it so hard. But
he’s easily offended. He’s so cute, why would anyone be mean to him?

Goodbye whatshisface, or as Yoongi likes to call him, H. He leaves such a small impression
that Yoongi isn’t sure if the man existed or if he was just talking to a wisp. H fades away as
the next man comes up to the plate.

Oh, it’s this guy next! Yoongi remembers this one, because he has that deep voice. V.
Obviously he doesn’t remember the actual name, what kind of a man do you take him for?

“Hello, how are you?” he says in his deep husky voice which goes through Yoongi’s bones in
just the right way. He gives Yoongi a smile that makes his face look twelve years younger, so
it literally makes him look like a child.

“Oh, I’m super tired, but I’m not having a terrible time,” he says. The most optimistic thing
he’s willing to say right now is that he’s not having a terrible time. He’s not having a good
time by any means, but he is suffering along. He’s getting close to the end now, he’s on
number twenty-one. So far, he has learned that food guy’s real name is Seokjin, or Jin, or
simply handsome. He was secretly the politest human being that Yoongi has ever come
across in his life, and that made him stick out a lot. Not like Yoongi was going to say it to his
face, but he could also tell that the arrogance from that guy was an act, because it’s the same
act that Yoongi puts on. If you tell the world you love yourself more than anyone else, maybe
someday it’ll be true.

Also, he learned that Jimin is a goddamn button. Yoongi has never wanted to put his hands on
someone’s face more than he had with Jimin, who was about six guys ago and Yoongi misses
him by the second. He misses any of about five people who have been good company. Gosh,
he even thinks he misses shy-until-you-push Jungkook.

“Hey, I’m so sorry by the way, but can you quick remind me of your name?” Yoongi asks.

V makes a soft face, not offended, just soft. “That’s okay, don’t be sorry. You just met
twenty-five new people. My name is Taehyung.”

“Taehyung, okay, I got it.” Yoongi is making a note of all the names of the boys he’s going to
keep, because it would be super goddamn awkward to forget them at the rose ceremony. So
far, he has a few absolutes. Hoseok. Some other guys. Mostly Hoseok. If Taehyung impresses
him enough, he’ll bother to remember the name as he walks away.

“So, what do you do?” Yoongi asks. That’s how he’s started most conversations so far. He’s
been able to talk about his own career once or twice, mostly with Hoseok, but Jimin was
fascinated too. Jimin is a ballet teacher! A ballet teacher, of all things. He really is a button!

“I’m a photographer. Freelance, I mostly do things like weddings,” the man says. “Actually, I
brought a few pictures to show you.”

Yoongi makes a worried expression for only a split second that he knows the camera is going
to capture in gruesome detail. Please don’t show me a dick pic, please, oh lord, please.
Though, he would have to commend Taehyung for developing his own dick pic to show him
and having the balls for showing it to him on camera. Maybe even having the balls to show
him on camera. Taehyung would go home tonight without a rose, no question, but it would be
an interesting story to tell: “Yoongi what was it that guy showed you on the first episode of
The Bachelor?” “Oh, just his penis.”

Yoongi’s brain is a dumpster fire of filth because the pictures that Taehyung pulls out of his
pocket are of dogs.

“These are my dogs and my cat,” Taehyung says, and Yoongi, who is overwhelmingly
unhappy to be here right now, lights up like a menorah or a Christmas tree or decidedly
nondenominationally scented candle.

“Yes, oh my god,” Yoongi says, holding himself back from grabbing the pictures out of his
hand. Taehyung notices so he carefully places the stack of pictures into Yoongi’s hands, and
he gingerly starts to look through them. Even though they’re just pictures of animals, Yoongi
can tell they were taken by a professional. They’re really well done, and Yoongi feels proud
for Taehyung for just a moment. More seriously than he’s ever said anything in his entire life,
Yoongi says to him, not willing to look up from the picture of the Pomeranian, “Tell me their
life stores.”

So, Taehyung tells him the life story of three dogs and a cat and Yoongi drinks up every
second of it like Sunday prayer. He doesn’t know how he could possibly maintain so many
animals, but Yoongi would like to meet all of them. He supposes if the viewers at home are
going to see that he has a heart, he’s most okay with exposing it due to pictures of dogs.
Unfortunately, he has been showing a lot of his heart tonight, which was not part of the plan.
It’s hard when some of these conversations have felt like real conversations. He can only
pretend to be a monster for so long before his true nature comes out, and his true nature is a
lot softer than his rapper alter ego, Agust D, would be proud of.

“You run a goddamn zoo,” Yoongi says. “God, I wish. I think if I had this many animals
waiting for me back home, I’d probably never leave.”

He nods looking somber for a second, “I miss them. They’re kind of my everything. Is it
more creepy than an endearing to say that I consider my pets to be my children?”

“Nah, I wouldn’t say so.” Yoongi’s got a few houseplants back at home who he’s sure are
missing him direly. He had to leave them with his neighbor to babysit, and he’s worried for
the continued health and education of his little aloe plant.

Yoongi decides to remember Taehyung’s name when he gets up to leave a few minutes later
because he can’t resist the guy who brought pictures of animals to a dating show. Who could
say no to that? That would be like saying no to a guy that shows you pictures of his dogs on
your first date, or like saying no to the guy who’s out walking his dog and asks if you want to
pet the dog, or like saying…

Yoongi knows he’s met the next guy who comes out, but just like everyone else, the name
escapes him.

“Sup, man I’m D.” Ugh. He’s only said four words and Yoongi doesn’t like him. He’s got that
way about him. Had Yoongi noticed that earlier, or was he already bored out of his mind
during introductions that this guy slipped past him? Either way, whatever name he just used
isn’t important enough for him to remember it, so he gets to keep the letter D, and it might be
appropriate because D can stand for a whole assortment of rude things which Yoongi would
also feel okay about calling him.

D doesn’t seem like the kind of person anyone would ever want to hang out with.
Immediately he comes across as disrespectful, and him opening his mouth doesn’t make it
any better. He’s conceited in the way that he believes the hype he places on himself, and it’s
so aggravatingly casual for him. Yoongi, just like Seokjin, he’s conceited, but not this kind of
conceited. Yoongi knows that their on-screen chemistry is going to be non-existent, but that’s
okay because it’s not like he’s going to get a rose tonight anyway.

D uses the five minutes he has with Yoongi to talk about himself and he isn’t generous with a
single second of it. Yoongi is given no opportunity to respond or interact with a single word.
D is really smart; all of his exam scores prove it, and he also did debate and won a lot of
school competitions. He’s an event promoter, and a party planner, and a DJ on the weekends,
and a playboy every night of the week heyo, and a pretty decent soccer player, and an
accomplished gamer who Yoongi has probably heard of but he has to keep his gamer identity
a secret because if people found out, he’d be accosted by fans, but he doesn’t want that, he
just wants to be a normal guy like you or me. He only realized recently that he was bisexual,
because before now he was drowning in all of the pussy. And he thinks that movies and TV
are overrated, true intellectuals read books and go to the theater.

Yoongi barfs just the tiniest bit in his mouth. Just a tiny little barf. Just the smallest amount.
He has Yoongi practically hypnotized. Not because he believes a word out of his mouth or
likes any of those words, he’s just trying to figure out if this is a real goddamn human. He has
half a mind to poke at it, see if it’s real. His mouth is hanging open a little in pure revulsion.

“May I interrupt?” the voice of an angel says, and Yoongi pulls himself out of his dream state
to look up and find it’s the very first guy! That one! The first pretty face of many pretty faces
that came after it, but he’s special because he is number one after all. He’s also special
because he is Yoongi’s knight in shining armor, come to save him from this walking STD.

“Oh, uh, sure man I guess,” he says, standing up with something that Yoongi knows he would
define as swagger, but which Yoongi would define as dude, do you need to use the bathroom?
This repulsive creature tries to give Guy Number One some sort of modified bro handshake
thing that gives Yoongi secondhand embarrassment. It’s safe to say that no one knows how to
react to the handshake. He remembers next to nothing about Guy Number One other than he
was very polite, and he has a stoic face. He just smiles awkwardly as D walks away, back into
the furnace of hell from which he was cast.

“That was something,” Yoongi says when it’s just the two of them. Guy Number One doesn’t
immediately sit down, so Yoongi gestures to the spot beside him, still looking back at D.
Yeah, there’s no way Guy Number One liked that handshake, he’s got such a genuine, kind
radiance about him. Yoongi is glad this was the first guy to step out of the limo, because he
might not have been able to handle some of those other, super stronger personalities right out
of the gate.

“Judging from the look on your face, not a very good something.”

“I can’t believe any of that just happened. I’d like to forget about it. I want to take a
powerhose to my brain,” he says, pulling his gaze away from where D stepped back inside
the house. “You’re a sight for sore eyes, holy hell.”

He smiles just a little bit, not quite a shy smile, but a modest one. Yeah, Yoongi likes this guy.
Even though he was the first one, and that was so long ago, there’s something about him that
lingers.

Looking at him now, up close, something miraculously comes to Yoongi’s mind. “Namjoon,
isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” he says, looking impressed, “How’d you remember that? I was the first one! That
was, like, hours ago.”

“I’m amazing,” Yoongi shrugs.

“You must be. I don’t think I could be where you are right now. It’s a lot of pressure. How are
you handling it?”

“I’m still intact, and that’s all I can hope for.”

“Are you having a good time, though? Excited? All of us in there, we’re all hoping that we
get to stay for the nine weeks, but you already know you will. It just seems scary.”
“Um,” Yoongi shrugs. “I think I’ll have some good company.”

Namjoon smiles, hoping that he’ll get to be part of that company. It’s not like he can verify it
for sure, but Namjoon would say he’s the most hopeless romantic out of all the contestants.
He’s the most willing to fall in love and the most desperate to be loved. Trying to contain
himself right now is a lot. Yoongi is fucking gorgeous. He’s a soft gorgeous, not quite sharp
curves and dips, more like a warm, easy gorgeous.

“Just a boring office job,” he answers after Yoongi asks him what he does. Boring it might
be, but Namjoon is the richest contestant on the show, though you’d never know it from the
way he presents himself. “I heard that you make music.”

“Yeah,” he smiles. Talking to him is easy, but it’s not lively like it had been with Hoseok,
Jimin, or Seokjin. It’s calm, and he’s sort of okay with that. “I’m a rapper, I have a mixtape
called Agust D.” Another cheeky plug, that makes five in total Yoongi, you’re doing great.
He knows that a lot of them are going to get cut out. If Yoongi’s lucky, at least one will make
it into the final cut.

“That’s really cool,” he says, “that you’re doing what you want. I sort of just ended up where
I am, it’s not really what I wanted.”

“What do you want?”

“Honestly?” he shrugs. “I kind of want to do what you do.”

“Rap?”

“Yeah, maybe,” he shrugs. “Or just make music, produce, direct. Something that uses skills
besides facts and numbers.”

“It’s never too late,” he says. Yoongi doesn’t know how good of a response that is. It’s true,
you can pursue your dream at any time, but you can’t throw away something good for
something indeterminate. Yoongi’s never had anything good to throw away. “But it’s also not
easy.”

“Nothing is ever easy,” he says, with a smile. “How do you think I got here? Searching for
love on a reality show isn’t exactly where I saw myself even a year ago.”

“But you are here,” he says. “What are you hoping to get from it? What made you take the
leap to do something like this?”

“Absolutely for love. More than anything, that’s what I want. I was only called back to be on
this show a few weeks ago, I think I was the last one. I was initially turned away, but there
were a few dropouts. I’m actually so excited to be here. I think that you and I are going to get
along really well,” he says, looking rather pleased with himself. Yoongi wonders if the
audition tape that they made him do is what caused some of the dropouts. Now, credit to
Yoongi, that audition tape highlighted the best parts of him, not the cynical ones, but still, if
Yoongi saw his own damn self, he’d have dropped out too. “I’ve got my heart set on finding
the one, I know we’ve only just met, but, I mean, I am here for the right reasons.”
Yoongi is slightly worried that Namjoon is going to see through him, that he’ll notice how
ingenuine his own motives are.

“What do you want, Yoongi?” Every question that Yoongi asks him, Namjoon finds a way to
bounce back at him, and it is pretty nice. For the most part, Yoongi has been trying to get
more out of the people he’s talking to then to divulge too much about himself, but Namjoon
wants to hear what he says more than he wants to talk about himself. A complete 180 from D.

“Right now, at this very minute, I want to sleep. But in the long run,” don’t talk about your
mixtape, “I want to make friends.” Friends, Yoongi? Friends? This is a dating show. You’re
supposed to want more than friendship. None of the actual contestants need to know that but
lying straight to Namjoon’s face by saying he wants to fall in love would just be cruel, so
saying friends is better.

“You’re very kindhearted,” Namjoon says, and it’s in his eyes that Namjoon believes what
he’s saying. “You shouldn’t have trouble finding friends. You shouldn’t have trouble finding
love either.”

“I’m still single, aren’t I?”

Conversation with Namjoon runs deep. It’s not surface level shit at all. He’s good at asking
questions that make Yoongi think, that warrant stronger answers. That’s not to say that
Namjoon is too serious, because he’s definitely spirited and funny. Namjoon just isn’t the
bold and brazen type like Seokjin or Hoseok.

“I was wondering, if it’s not too much to ask, how did you know you were gay?” Now that,
that’s probably the deepest question Yoongi will be asked this entire show.

“Oh,” Yoongi says, surprised. “Uh, I don’t think that’s the right word for it. I don’t know
what I am, but I wouldn’t say ‘gay.’ I’m, well, for me, it’s all personality. I guess I never
really think about gender or sexuality at all. I’ve dated everyone. I don’t think putting a word
to it is really all that important. Not for me, at least. As for how I found out, I don’t think I
ever didn’t know, but I also have never really thought about it too deeply. There was never
any coming out for me. There was just one day having my first girlfriend, and another time,
having my first boyfriend. I don’t need to announce it any more than I need to announce that
I have feet.”

“That’s really…” Namjoon stops, smiles, “that’s a really cool way of putting it.”

“You’re not off the hook,” Yoongi says, gesturing for Namjoon to take the stage.

“Gym class,” he says shortly. The tone of it makes Yoongi snort unattractively. Deep,
insightful, wise Namjoon. Gym class.

“You’re… wow,” Yoongi says, but he can’t stop laughing as Namjoon gives him back the
brightest look of the night.

“I could get more specific,” he says, feeding off of how he made Yoongi laugh. This is the
first time Namjoon has seen the laugh go all the way to Yoongi’s belly, and he wants to push
it further if he can. He wants Yoongi to fall in love with him, that’s the whole point of the
show, so he’ll do what he has to, even if it means embarrassing himself on national television.

“I’m sure it has something to do with swimming,” Yoongi replies.

“Basketball, actually,” Namjoon says.

“Basketball?” he says. “Well, I’ll have you know, I’m actually quite good at basketball.”

“Really?” Namjoon asks, and Yoongi loves the way he says that word. It’s special. Namjoon
is special. This show is going to be fucking hard. There are at least half a dozen guys who
Yoongi fully enjoys. There’s no way he’s going to fall in love with any of them, but they sure
are going to give him a run for his money.

“What is it about basketball?” he asks. “Of all sports, basketball? You know what swimming
is, right? You know that people take their shirts off?”

“Yeah, I know.” He’s so cute, aw, Namjoon. “It’s embarrassing.” Namjoon is thinking about
Yoongi playing basketball, and that’s making his face burn more than his own confession.

“You owe me! I showed you mine, now you’ve gotta show me yours.”

“Okay,” he concedes, “okay, god, I shouldn’t have brought it up.” Yoongi has perched his
elbow on the back of the couch/booth/whatever, staring at Namjoon like he’s the most
interesting thing in the world. “Okay, so you know how sometimes, when someone takes a
shot, and their arms raise up, and sometimes just a little bit of skin shows? Just like, a little
bit of stomach?”

Yoongi just shakes his head, “and here I was, thinking you were an intellectual.”

Namjoon puts his face in his hands, “I know, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. I get it. I can’t judge. My mind isn’t all daisies.” Fortunately for both Yoongi and
all the viewers at home, Namjoon can’t stop smiling now, a little bit of pink in his cheeks. His
smile is a gift to the world.

Listen, Yoongi knows that people are attractive. He knows that. He’s seen many attractive
people in his life. He has not, however, seen so many attractive people all at once, and the
wild part about it is that they all want to know him. They all want Yoongi to fall in love with
them. Literally. It’s not even fair. So many gorgeous men and he’s made it his ultimate
declaration not to want any of them back. He must be an idiot. But he is a very determined
idiot all the same.

He hates to see Namjoon go, but he’s thankful that only two people remain. Neither of them
are memorable enough for him to bother remembering their names. At long last, and with
great happiness in his heart, Yoongi has finished. The spirits have blessed him, soon he gets
to go to bed.

When the last guy leaves the porch, and Yoongi is left “alone”, Producer Dad appears from
out of nowhere. It’s too dark to see very far past the cameraman, so it’s possible that Producer
Dad has been there the whole time, and he just didn’t know.

“I cannot believe you actually made it through,” Producer Dad says, though his tone is not a
congratulations.

“Bedtime?”

“Rose ceremony time.”

“Then bedtime?”

“Min Yoongi, if you fuck up the rose ceremony, I will personally assign someone to scream
in your ear as you try to get to sleep tonight.” Wow. That’s a little harsh.

“I won’t! I promise,” he says, and really, he does promise. He knows that the only thing he’ll
get out of messing up the rose ceremony is drag this night on even further, and he doesn’t
want that. Yoongi grabs Producer Dad’s wrist to check the time on his watch. Close to
midnight. Fuck, he hopes not all of these shoots run this long, there’s a very good chance that
Yoongi turns into a pumpkin past twelve. He rarely stays awake late enough to find out.

“So, here’s how this is going to work,” Producer Dad says before he explains how Host
Uncle is bringing all of the boys into the ballroom – the rose ceremony room – and they’re
finishing up shooting solo interviews of some of the various contestants. Yoongi blinks a few
times when he remembers that those guys are all shooting interviews where they talk about
him. It’s not just Yoongi’s face that people are going to see on their screen. They’re going to
see twenty-five men’s reactions to him. They could be talking absolute shit. There’s no way
for him to know. That thought chills him a little bit. He knows that he was nice to just about
everyone, even the one or two guys who didn’t deserve it, but he wonders what they have to
say about him.

He wishes so much that the rules weren’t so strict on this show. No outside electronic
devices, no internet, no sex, no inviting any of the bachelors to his room, no saying “I love
you” until the final rose, but the one rule, probably the worst one: Yoongi doesn’t get to see
any of the footage from the show. No one gets to see it. They’re all left completely in the dark
about what goes on air. So, one of the contestants could say the meanest, cruelest things
about him, and Yoongi won’t even know about it until three months from now when he’s out
of the mansion and can watch the show for himself.

Yoongi wonders how he’s going to come across. He’s had that though so many times tonight,
but he’s said and done so many things, all of it on camera, he doesn’t know what’s going to
be put out there, how it’ll be perceived. He has done so much to be kind, polite, respectful,
but he did also stare at a bunch of men’s asses at the beginning of the night, and made some
rude comments about D to Namjoon, and has said a lot of halfway rude things in solo
interviews like how he doesn’t remember anyone’s names, and how he just wants to go to
bed. So many hours of footage that is all going to be put together, and knowing the crew of
this show, it’ll be put together to frame him in a bad light.

“There are a few contestants we need to speak about,” Producer Dad says.
“What do you mean by that?” Yoongi makes a face, because he knows he’s not going to like
it. He rarely likes what Producer Dad says.

“Well, there are certain bachelors who read well on the screen, and some that don’t.”

“I thought I got to pick who stays and who goes. That’s the whole point of the show?”

“Yes, well, you do. But there are a few names of contestants that we want to keep on for at
least another week, to grab viewers’ attention.”

Ugh, here we go. “Reality TV is a bit of a misnomer, isn’t it?”

“Yoongi, you get to pick literally everyone. All I’m asking is for you to keep three people in
particular, and they might already be on your list of keeps anyway.”

“I’ll decide whether I’m angry with you after you tell me who those people are,” Yoongi
says.

“Alright, well the first one, even before the show started, we were wanting to keep Kim
Seokjin. He has… a certain appeal to the camera.”

“He’s hot,” Yoongi summarizes.

“Yes, well, that’s one way of putting it.”

“I’m not angry yet, I was going to keep him anyway. Who else you got?”

Producer Dad gives him a name that Yoongi doesn’t recall at all. Yoongi even gives him a
quizzical eyebrow to indicate that he has no fucking clue who he’s talking about. “The one
with the tragic backstory.” Oh, right. Yoongi remembers him now. M. He was alright. Father
died in a boating accident, mother died of cancer, raised by his grandparents. He didn’t have
any personality traits that really stood out to Yoongi, that’s why he doesn’t remember M’s
name, but he’s not against keeping M around.

“That’s fine I guess,” Yoongi shrugs. “Who’s the last one?”

He knows already that he’s not going to like it, because he has a sneaking suspicion that he
knows who Producer Dad is going to say.

“D.”

“Fuck, not that guy!”

“Yes, that guy.”

“That’s disgusting, seriously?”

“The house is going to need some drama if this show is to be the success we’re hoping for. D
will bring that drama.” Even just in his own brain, Yoongi has censored that name. He
doesn’t want to feed D, giving him a name gives him power that he doesn’t deserve.
“I mean, but that guy? No one is going to believe I like him. He’s such a douche. He’s one
face tattoo away from a self-discovery backpacking tour of an Ed Hardy sponsored swamp.”

“Colorful,” Producer Dad says. “But yes, that guy. He doesn’t have to win, just keep him on
for a few weeks. Viewers will love to hate him.”

“Well, I don’t love to hate him, I hate him because he shits out his own mouth and thinks it’s
poetry and then talks out his ass and thinks it’s a miracle.”

“Yoongi-”

“It’s not going to happen.” That’s decided. There were a lot of cool dudes that he just met and
the idea of giving a rose to D as opposed to literally anyone else is the most ridiculous thing
that anyone has ever asked of him. It wouldn’t be fair to whoever doesn’t get the rose, and it
especially won’t be fair to all the people who have to live in the same house as D.

Producer Dad pulls out the card that he doesn’t want to play, but he does it anyway, because
he knows it will work. “I’ll include some of your promotions for your mixtape that you had
during the one-on-ones.”

Yoongi shakes his head. He wants that, but he knows that he can get more. He sees the
power, and he’s not above using it. “That’s not going to cut it. I need more than that.”

He sighs loudly, “I’ll let you promote your mixtape in the next solo interview.”

Yoongi stops, considers. “How prominent are we talking? One minute, two minutes.
Beginning of the show, end of the show?”

“Where would you like it?”

“First five minutes of the show, at least a minute of screen time dedicated to the promo.
Every week you want me to keep him on, I get to promote my mixtape again.”

“Yoongi-”

“That’s my price or your boy walks. We got a deal or what?” Yoongi puts his hand out for
Producer Dad to shake.

“Yoongi…”

“Alright then, I guess I’ll just not give a rose to any of those three guys you named,” he
shrugs, and starts to walk away like he knows where he’s supposed to go now.

“Alright fine,” Producer Dad says, and Yoongi smiles evilly, back still turned to him. He
turns on his heals, looking very fond of himself.

“Oh, and I want it in writing,” Yoongi tells him. “Since I don’t get to see the final cut of the
show, I won’t know if you actually do it, and honestly? I don’t trust you.”
Producer Dad is picking out Yoongi’s headstone. “I’ll get the legal team down here
tomorrow. Will that be good enough?”

Yoongi makes a face like he’s considering the terms of their deal, but then nods. “Alright. But
I’m going to read the fine print, so no funny business. I’m only agreeing to this once, and my
agreement doesn’t constitute you having control over my decisions. You don’t make the
decisions of who I keep, you just get to ask me kindly to keep certain individuals and I will
take your words into consideration.”

“You’re a piece of shit, Yoongi, you know that?”

“Well, it isn’t you I’m trying to get along with, is it?” he says, and this time he really does
walk away. His only assumption is to walk into the house. Through the sliding screen door
which so many people have walked through tonight. The living area is empty aside from
cameramen and equipment. So much for a dramatic exit, Producer Dad just follows him in.

“It’ll be another ten minutes before we’re ready for you in the ballroom. We just need to
capture a little bit of footage of you looking nervous outside of the door.” Yoongi rolls his
eyes. It’s never enough with this man. More and more and more. Yoongi just wants a rest.

He’s put into position in the hall outside of the ballroom, the door closed, and he can hear a
muffled voice talking from within. The ballroom is straight ahead when you first walk into
the house, an enormous room that Yoongi poked his head into for only a brief moment earlier
today. From the front door into the entrance hall, the stairs are on the right, but further along
that wall is the hallway that leads to the bathroom and a game room. To the left of the
entrance, that’s where the center of the house really is, the living area, dining hall and kitchen
which are all for the most part an open floor plan.

“What do you want me to say, sir,” he exaggerates it, because he’s annoyed right now. He
didn’t go into this thinking reality was going to be reality, but he’s still annoyed that he was
right.

“How do you feel right now?”

“Annoyed.”

“How should a normal human with emotions and empathy feel?” Producer Dad asks, and
Yoongi narrows his eyes at him, unamused. Yoongi is literally a good person, and all of the
footage from those one-on-ones should prove it. Maybe Yoongi shouldn’t have come into this
show all guns a blazing, because the profile that’s been made of him by the production crew
seems to have fucked him in the ass a few times already, and its only night one.

He looks at the camera and says what Producer Dad wants him to say. “It’s going to be really
hard to get rid of ten people. I’ve only just met all of them, and I’m eliminating almost half
already, it just seems a little harsh. But obviously, there are going to be some people I’m
more compatible with than others, and I have to keep those fifteen people around at the cost
of some others. I think there are definitely a few really good picks in the bunch, though. I
even clicked with a few people right out of the gate.” He says and smiles sincerely at the
thought of them. Namjoon, both smarter and dumber than he looks. Seokjin, what a blessing.
Jimin, a button; Jungkook a bunny. Taehyung, who brought pictures of his dogs. Hoseok.
Mm. Hoseok. Five minutes and already someone you’ve known for years, Hoseok. Smile like
a rainbow, eyes like the sun, Hoseok.

“Is your future husband in that room, do you think?” Producer Dad asks him.

Obviously, the answer is no, but for the sake of the camera, “we’ll see.”

The moment arrives when Yoongi is beckoned in. There they all are. So many wonderful,
beautiful faces, all completely different and all with at least a few good reasons for why they
should stay. Well, except one. But Yoongi is choosing to forget about him.

The ballroom is well lit, warm lighting set as a backdrop against the wall by which all of the
boys stand. They’re in three rows on a set of risers, and then another empty and slightly
smaller set to the side. The walls are a dark, deep green, making the room feel very inviting
and safe. It was built to look dramatic, and they succeeded.

At the center of the room, there’s a table, on which the roses sit. Host Uncle stands beside it.
His face looks kinder than it does when the camera isn’t rolling. Yoongi walks nervously
over, bowing once for the sake of everyone in the room. Host Uncle then shakes his hand
which is weird, and nods gently at him which is weirder.

“Gentleman,” Host Uncle says. “Here’s your Bachelor, Yoongi.” The way he says it feels
clunky. They all know who he is by now, Yoongi assumes. Whatever. “Do you have a few
words to say before we begin?”

“Um, yeah. So, hi everyone,” he says, waving awkwardly and putting a fake smile on his face
which just looks to everyone there like he’s showing off the fact that he has teeth. “Thank
you to everyone for being so patient. I know it’s been a long night waiting around just to
spend a few minutes with me, but I had a lot of really fantastic conversations. It was really
hard for me, at first, to let my guard down so many times in a row, so I hope you know that
you all helped me to feel calm.” His words are way sweeter than he had expected, but it’s all
just coming out. And it’s honest. He’s not faking it right now. He’s being true.

“So,” Yoongi says, taking a deep breath. “I just want… it’s important for me to say this
before I actually hand out any roses. I want everyone in this room to know that I, well, I
respect all of you. And I respect myself a lot too. I’m not here with bad intentions.” Maybe
just not the right intentions. “That being said, I want everyone to know that during this
process, I’m not, well I’m not willing or ready to show huge gestures of affection if it’s not
really serious. I’m not the type of person who just kisses people unless I’m confident it’s
going somewhere, and I’m definitely not going to put myself into a position where I’m
showing that type of affection to more than one person at a time. I guess… god, I don’t know
if I’m saying it how I want to. No matter the circumstances, even if there weren’t twenty-five
of you all competing at once, I don’t want to go around being all coupley and romantic with
more than one person at a time. I’m not going to kiss anyone unless I’m sure I’m not going to
kiss anyone else. I’m prepared to be close to people and to make friends, but I’m not
prepared to lead anyone on.”
He smiles lightly at his own words. It feels good to say. It’s the vaguest way for him to say
that he doesn’t want to date anyone; it’s both an escape route and a safety net. On other
versions of this show, the American one, people are going around making out with like ten
different people, and he’s not one to judge, because that’s their life to live. But Yoongi isn’t
that person. He’s not a playboy, he’s not promiscuous. He talks tough but he’s slept with two
people in his life and kissed four. It’s not like he considers these things to be sacred, but
they’re not for people who don’t matter significantly.

“Well, with that out of the way,” Yoongi picks up the very first rose. It’s just the first rose, but
the producers are all so intent on making it special by calling it the first impression rose.
Everyone who he’s going to give a rose to is going to be given one because of his first
impression of them. He’s literally only interacted with them twice, all for less than ten
minutes combined. This show is so fucking dumb. “All of you will already know that I had
many amazing first impression with you. I met some of the kindest people that I’ll probably
ever know in my entire life, and I met all of you in only one night,” Yoongi says. He doesn’t
actually know whose name he’s about to say while holding this first rose. He’s just waiting
for it to come to him in the moment. He certainly knows who this rose belongs to, but he’s
not going to say that name. “But, obviously, there’s only one first rose of the night. Only one
first impression that stood out the most. So, this rose, I have to give it to someone who
immediately lit me up. Who I could immediately tell was someone I was going to get along
with.”

He looks at all of these men. None of whom that he knows particularly well and only half of
them who he knows the names of. Who to pick… there are a few good runners up. Namjoon,
Jungkook, Seokjin.

“Jimin,” Yoongi says, and the second that the name comes from his mouth, he agrees with
himself. Yeah. That’s who should get it.

Yoongi looks up to see Jimin, aw, his little face, the brightest face in the room at this very
moment. He pauses for just a moment, apparently in disbelief, and then walks across the
room to stand in front of Yoongi. Every pair of eyes is ripping holes into Jimin’s head.
Yoongi can see it and he’s thankful that looks can’t kill. Twenty-three men trying to figure
out “why him, and not me?” And one who knows that Yoongi would have given it to him if
he hadn’t asked for him not to.

Yoongi says the tacky line, though it hurts his ego to say it, "Jimin, will you accept this
rose?"

"Of course," Jimin bows in front of him, his face is so sweet when he’s smiling. It gets all
scrunched up and precious. Gosh, if he weren’t so adamant about not dating anyone on this
show, he probably would want to try things out with Jimin. He’d probably want to try things
out with a lot of these guys, actually.

Host Uncle gestures towards the side of the room, at the second set of risers for the guys who
have received roses to stand on. The whole room is insanely silent as everyone watches Jimin
take his place first. It just got real. Things are actually happening now.
Yoongi is at the helm, and the power feels good. He gets to make all of the decisions. Well,
except for three decision that have already been made for him.

“Namjoon.” Even though it was obvious to Yoongi that he was going to get a rose, Namjoon
still looks relieved as all hell to hear his name. He steps down, passing through the shoulders
of other guys carefully.

“Thank you,” he says looking at Yoongi with his unbelievably good face. Yoongi makes a
gesture with his shoulders. Of course. How could Namjoon not have expected a rose, the
dumbass?

Yoongi isn’t in the pretense of spreading out the one’s that really matter, so he gets all of
them out of the way right at the very beginning.

“Jungkook.” He has to say Jungkook’s name next, because he’s sure if he didn’t, the kid
would pass out from nerves.

“Seokjin.” The dude is so polite he even bows to the other goddamn contestants as he takes
the rose from Yoongi. Looks, confidence, humor, kindness, manners. Holy heck, he’s the
total package.

“Taehyung.” The man who will forever be known as dog guy in Yoongi’s brain. Dog guy
with the deep sultry voice.

Then, Yoongi just starts throwing random letters out there. He starts with M, tragic backstory
man. A good-looking guy, but nothing to write home about. He almost pukes saying it, but he
says D’s name. D is not an unattractive person, in fact, he’s a very pretty person, but that’s
only on the outside.

Then it’s alphabet soup. I, R, A, E, S, N, G. They all look happy and relieved to get a rose,
but they don’t matter a whole lot. They’re all wonderful people, or at least, that’s what
Yoongi picked up from them on the couch/booth/whatever, but their personalities aren’t
vibrant like the first names he said.

“Gentlemen,” Host Uncle says, returning to stand beside Yoongi now that there is only one
rose left on the table, “this is the final rose. Those of you who do not receive a rose will need
to say their goodbyes, and you will be sent home immediately.”

There are eleven people left standing, waiting, hoping, worrying. Faces drowning in concern.
Their conversation with Yoongi had gone so well, how come he hasn’t said their name yet?
Surely, that last rose is for them.

Yoongi looks down at the floor. He wants to make this scene as dramatic as possible. He’s
loving the way that everyone has stopped breathing. He’s never had so much attention in his
life, and it feels good knowing that this scene will also be viewed by millions of other people.
Everyone waiting on Yoongi’s word, wondering if their favorite is going to be the last name
to be called.
 Yoongi picks up the final rose and plays with it in his hand. He rolls the stem in his palm,
making the flower spin. It’s completely devoid of thorns, absolutely flawless. Yoongi has
honestly never seen a more beautiful flower in his entire life. Bright red and majestic. He
smiles to himself, withholding a laugh, hoping that no one, not even the cameras can catch it
before he says the final name.

“Hoseok.”

He had been trying to keep it off his face to be respectful, but once he hears his name,
Hoseok smiles hugely. He feels very calm, much calmer than anyone else in the position of
waiting on the last rose. Maybe for a fraction of a second did he think Yoongi wasn’t going to
call his name. A beat and a skip of his heart where he thought that maybe he was making it
up in his head how Yoongi responded to him. Maybe he had been overly confident and
Yoongi’s conversations with everyone had been even better than Hoseok’s. Yoongi was just
so easy to talk to, surely everyone else felt the same way when they got their time with him.

Obviously, that’s not the case. He could tell that he was special, that they’re both special. He
shouldn’t have doubted himself. Yoongi saved him until last just to taunt him. He knew
exactly what he was doing.

As Hoseok walks over to take the rose from him, he looks back at the ten faces of those who
didn’t get roses, who had prayed that the rose he now holds would have gone to them. “Just
jealous enough,” Yoongi had said. A devilish man, and yet Yoongi thought he was going to
be trouble?

There’s a very brief moment where Yoongi’s fingers touch his as he accepts the rose. It’s the
first time during the entire ceremony where Yoongi looks nervous. Staring into Hoseok’s
eyes, letting them melt him, but he tries to hide it. He tries not to let Hoseok know that this is
the rose that matters. But Hoseok can see it.

The look in both of their eyes says it all. Neither of them expected the other. They’re both
going to have to figure out what to do about it.

Chapter End Notes

I don't normally update this quickly but I just really like writing this story. Happy D-2
Day everyone! Please leave a comment!
 This Isn't
Chapter Summary

In which textures of dirt are discussed in length.

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

{{

(The Bachelor: Boys Will Be Boys SK Interview Kim Namjoon #2)

Interviewer: (Thankful that he isn't interviewing Yoongi again) So, you just stepped out of
the limo, the very first one, how are you feeling right now? Are you excited, scared,
confused?

Namjoon: Uh, yeah, all of the above. Mostly nervous, I’m shaking just a little bit.

Interviewer: Talk about what you first thought when you met Yoongi.

Namjoon: [Talking with his hands too much for him to be a heterosexual] Well, when I first
stepped out of the limo, of course I’m just thinking, oh my god, is this real? I’ve been so
excited but also dreading this day for like three weeks, ever since I found out I was going to
be here. It’s just so nerve wracking. What if he doesn’t like me, what if I’m having a
wardrobe malfunction? And if he’s nervous, he’s going to be especially nervous because I’m
the first guy out of the limo! That was probably the scariest bit.

Interviewer: How do you feel about going first?

Namjoon: It’s both a good thing and a bad thing. Good because I think I’ll be easy to
remember because I’m literally the first one. Bad because neither of us were loosened up. I
knew I was going to be tense but going first means he was too. I’m a little worried that my
being so tense will make me seem boring or just weird, because I know that probably half of
the guys that came after me were more impressive for whatever reason.

Interviewer: What was your first impression of Yoongi? [He's a dick].

Namjoon: Well, obviously the first thing I thought is that he’s beautiful. He’s a little shorter
than I expected. I knew what he looked like, I’ve seen pictures, I watched his tape. I already
knew he was going to be cute, but it’s different seeing him in real life, you know? I love his
hair, and his eyes were really nice. I didn’t get to talk much with him, I actually can’t recall
what I said at all, my heart was beating too fast. But I know he was nice.
 Interviewer: What are you looking forward to in your one-on-one later tonight? Anything
specific you want to talk about? [This poor sonofabitch has to interact with Yoongi later. I
wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy].

Namjoon: I think I’ll just wait until the moment comes to see what I want to talk about, be a
little spontaneous with it. If I think way too hard I’m sure I’ll just trip myself up. I hope I
don’t go first like I did out of the limo, because it was definitely pretty scary for the both of
us. I want to laugh with him obviously, but I also think it’s important to get serious. I don’t
know. I’m normally more composed than this, but this isn’t a very normal situation, is it?

Interviewer: What would it mean to you if you were to get a rose tonight?

Namjoon: If I got a rose tonight? Wow, I mean, obviously it means I’m not going home right
away and that’s probably the thing I want the most. I don’t know if Yoongi is my future
husband, I literally talked to him for like thirty seconds, but I know that I came on this show
for a reason, and there has to be a reason for why I was personally selected. I’m choosing to
believe it’s because Yoongi and I have something in common that someone else was able to
see. I really want a rose because I desperately want to be in love, which I know sounds corny
as hell, but it’s true. I just hope that Yoongi and I have a really good conversation later and he
decides to keep me around for a little while.

**Notes from the director: zzzzzzzzzz

}}

The sun rises early on the mansion. Way too early than he would like, Yoongi is already
being woken up and thrown into the trailer outside for his hair and makeup. He doesn’t know
when he got to bed last night, but shooting didn’t wrap up until the early hours of the
morning and it’s the early hours of the morning now.

Today is the very first “date.” There are only three dates in a week, with a day between each
one. Two dates in the week are solos, and one is a group date. Yoongi would very much like
to do none of them. However, Producer Dad comes to ask him who is going on the first solo
date today, and the name instantly rolls off his tongue. Nodding, he walks back out to get
things prepared while Yoongi is made up to look perfect.

He rarely ever takes care of his skin, so they have a little trouble covering up spots on his
forehead. Then the hair, making it perfect again. So much product goes into his hair, more
product onto his face so as to make it look like nothing at all goes on either. He knows he
looks good, because he can watch himself transform in the mirror, and he’s not going to
complain about it… well he’s going to complain about the hair actually. He can like the end
result but bitch about the process.

Inside of the mansion, much later to rise are the contestants who file down the stairs in twos
and threes to get breakfast. There are three rooms on the second floor, only one on the top
floor which is where Yoongi’s room is, with five guys in the other three and that’s definitely
too many people to be living in each room. No one knows each other, and they’re all a little
too tired and deflated to start learning each other’s names. While everyone is hoping to find
their name on the date card today, they are also kind of hoping to stay at the mansion so that
they can get to know each other. Well, some of them at least.

Last night, Seokjin had made fast friends with a few people, and Jimin did as well. Everyone
needs to eat something before they’re in a headspace to learn names and faces today. There is
some pushback from some people towards Jimin this morning because he got the first rose.
Jealousy is abound already.

“Who do you think is going to get the first date?” someone asks.

“Probably that Jimin kid,” someone else shrugs. “He got the first rose.”

“Yeah probably.” Both of their voices sound annoyed. They don’t seem to realize that he can
hear. Jimin looks down into his cereal bowl for a moment, feeling self-conscious and just a
little bit targeted. He didn’t do anything and now he’s worried that everyone is going to hate
him just because of one measly little rose. He had put so many smiles on so many different
people’s faces last night, before the rose ceremony that is.

He grabs his bowl and walks out of the kitchen area, over to sit on the couch where he had
been last night. He’s the only one now in the living room, as everyone else has gathered
around the kitchen and dining room like a watering hole. There isn’t an actual wall between
where Jimin sits and where everyone else is talking, but he most certainly feels separate and
cut off.

“Good morning,” a bright face says before sitting next to Jimin, nearly close enough for them
to be touching. “Did you sleep well?”

Jimin looks at him, not knowing his name. “Um, sort of. It’s always a little uncomfortable
sleeping in a new place for the first time. Especially when you’re sharing it with four other
people.”

The man nods, and then holds out his hand, “I’m Hoseok. You’re Jimin, right?”

Jimin smiles and takes his hand, “Yeah, hi.”

“I’m a little worried the cliques are going to form fast. Got to get ahead of the gate. Those
guys over there sounded a little jealous of you. I don’t really vibe with that sort of crowd, you
know? I’m happy for you that you got the first rose, but I doubt anyone else will say that to
you and that sucks.”

“Yeah, thank you,” he says, nodding, and circling his spoon around a few times in the bowl.
His cereal is all soggy now, and call him picky, but he really doesn’t like soggy cereal.
“There’s no way Yoongi could have known what the first rose would mean.”

“Well, think about it like this,” Hoseok says. “We’re all here for one thing. You’ve already
got the edge. They might be jealous, but you’re still winning.” His sentiment is genuine. He
really is trying to cheer Jimin up, especially since Hoseok is the one who would be going
through what Jimin is if he hadn’t said something to Yoongi. Well, probably. Either way, he
feels guilty.
Also, if he’s going to be stuck in this place for so many weeks, he wants to have friends to
make it bearable. Normally making friends is easy. This is a completely different
environment though, because everyone is competing with everyone else for the same person.
There are some people who are going to be dog eat dog, but Hoseok isn’t that person.
Whoever Yoongi ends up choosing at the end of this show isn’t going to be that type of
person either. The guys who find comradery are going to be the only contestants, but if some
people can’t see that, well then Hoseok isn’t going to go out of his way to lecture them.

“I don’t want this to feel like a competition,” Jimin says. “I just wanted to come here and
hopefully fall in love. I don’t get why people have their teeth bared already.”

“They’re idiots,” Hoseok says quietly, looking back. There is one particular guy who is so in
love with himself that Hoseok questions how he could ever hope to love someone else more.
Another three or four who are surely different people around Yoongi than they are now. If
they acted like that around Yoongi, they would already be gone.

“Morning,” a new face says, sitting near the two of them. “Mind if I sit here?”

“Fine with me,” Hoseok says, and Jimin nods.

“Cool,” he says, before stretching his legs out with a yawn. “I tried to sleep longer but one of
my roommates was stomping around like he was wearing lead boots.” Jimin nods, because
he’s got a character like that in his room. He’s one of the guys in the kitchen talking shit.

“What was your name, again?” Hoseok knows he definitely talked to him last night.

“Oh, sorry,” he says, “Seokjin.” They introduce themselves to him and over the next few
minutes, it becomes an easy partnership. Hoseok laughs with his entire body, and it’s also
pretty easy to make him laugh. Jimin is quieter in volume but not in personality. Seokjin has
the most contagious laugh imaginable which comes from his belly and rises out of him like
fire.

In the span of only an hour or so, the house divides into a few different factions. The guys
who are having a good time in the living room, and the guys talking shit about them in the
kitchen. They get two more people on the light side, one who introduces himself as Namjoon,
and one introduces himself as Taehyung.

“Why does it look like those guys eat babies?” Seokjin asks. Hoseok could not explain what
that statement means, all he knows it that it’s accurate. There are only five of them in
question, but those five all look like people you avoided in high school.

“I can’t see Yoongi falling for someone who eats babies,” Namjoon says.

“I don’t want to sound prejudice, but I think in general, I also prefer to date people who don’t
eat babies,” Hoseok says. “It’s a personal preference of mine.”

About half an hour after Jimin first arrived down for breakfast, the front door opens and in
walk a few cameramen, who precede the entrance of Host Uncle. The house is wired up, with
cameras in all of the living spaces and hallways, the only places free from Big Brother are the
bedrooms and bathrooms. Even though everyone knows that the house is being watched, it
doesn’t feel as real until they actually see the cameras with men attached to them.

Suddenly, everyone scrambles in the most casual not-casual way possible. The baby eaters
find their spots, on two of the couches closer to the wall while the other guys stay where they
are already. Hoseok hasn’t bothered to count the couches until just now, when he finds that
it’s four couches, and three armchairs. It’s a ridiculous amount of seating, but he supposes it
makes sense because this is a house meant to be occupied by nearly twenty people.

So many people and yet only one TV. One TV, no cell phones, and only one person will make
it out alive. It sounds like a horror film, only this horror film happens to have a game room
and Hoseok eyed a pinball machine which he’s going to make his bitch at some point.

“Alright guys,” a crew member says, “we’re going to be filming the presentation of the first
date card, and after that, we’re going to start up on some solo interviews like we did last
night. These will be conducted in the diary room on the second floor. Only one of you is
going on a date today, so the rest of you are encouraged to get to know each other during that
time.”

Once everyone is seated, someone who looks important does a headcount. Then, a producer
shouts upstairs to get whoever is straggling behind to come downstairs. By Hoseok’s count,
they’re missing only one person. A few moments later that one person comes hurdling down
the steps looking like he just woke up. Everyone looks at him when he enters, varying
degrees of judgement gracing him from everyone. The kid looks mortified and it’s
heartbreaking to see his eyes buzzing for a place to sit. Most of the couch space is used up
and one of the baby eaters manspreads himself so that he can’t sit on their couch. Jimin and
Hoseok seem to have the same instinct as they both scoot over for him to take the space
between them. The guy looks grateful as he takes his spot and gives them both a silent
thanks. Jimin is in the same room as him but doesn’t know if he ever heard a name.

Hoseok feels very soft in this moment thinking about how there are some really decent
people in the house. The people he shares his room with are not particularly great people. He
and Taehyung are in the same room, but they’re boarded up with two douchebags and an
indeterminate douchebag; he might be a douchebag, but it’s hard to know for sure quite yet.
One of them is so outspokenly a piece of shit that Hoseok is incredulous he wasn’t eliminated
last night. Is Yoongi absolutely insane?

Host Uncle says a few words that no one really hears. Host Uncle is that show business type
that is arrogant and rude off screen, but the second the camera hits him he’s a darling. Hoseok
hates people like that, which is why he’s got such a problem with a lot of the baby eaters,
because they somehow managed to be appealing enough to Yoongi on screen that he kept
them. They must be pretty great actors.

At last, Host Uncle pulls a date card from his pocket, and he holds it in his hand for a belated
minute. Every set of eyes is looking at it, expectantly. So many people hoping for it to have
their name on it, but no in is comfortable enough with last night to say they expect it.

“I’ll just leave this right here,” he says, before placing the envelope gingerly on the table
directly in front of Hoseok. Literally everyone in the room stops breathing as Host Uncle
exits the room. Everyone is waiting for him to leave, and then everyone is waiting for
someone to be the one to pick the goddamn envelope up. No one makes a grab for it right
away, it just sits there being watched like it’ll burst into a voice all by itself.

Eventually, the envelope is picked up by Namjoon, who has some very definite leadership
qualities. No one knows anyone particularly well yet, and there are definitely some
personalities that stick out like a sore thumb, but Namjoon isn’t really one of them. He’s
muted and pleasant. Maybe that’s why it feels only natural for him to be reading the date
card.

“Okay, so the first date is,” he says, and pauses for dramatic effect as he opens the envelope
and pulls out the card. Most people are expecting to hear the name Jimin, because why else
would he have gotten the first rose if he wasn’t Yoongi’s first choice? The man who Yoongi
refers to as D is sure that it’ll be his own name, because he’s sure his name is the one that all
of his ex-lovers cry out in bed. Namjoon, even while holding it wants to say his own name.
When the paper unfolds and it isn’t his name, he is at the very least content to know that he
recognizes the name on the card, and he’s not agonizingly upset over who that name belongs
to. “Jung Hoseok.”

When Namjoon says the name, several faces all look from one to the other trying to
determine who that is. The baby eaters all look confused, turning against themselves trying to
determine if that name belongs to one of them. The cameramen, who don’t know who anyone
is yet, have to try to pick Jung Hoseok out of the crowd.

Hoseok is a little bit caught off guard. He thought he might be the first one, but it still feels
rather huge that he was right. He’s the first one. First rose is something, but no one has spent
more than ten minutes with Yoongi and Hoseok is now about to spend the entire day with
Yoongi.

His excitement is far more powerful than his anxiety. It wasn’t just in his imagination last
night. He and Yoongi did have something. Yoongi gave him the final rose as some sort of
message. You brought this upon yourself. Now he’s got the whole day to justify why he
deserves his rose. He’s got a whole day of hopefully making him laugh as easily as before.

Hoseok is having all of these thoughts in just a few seconds. His brain is reeling. Then Jimin
leans over to peer around the guy between them so that he can look at Hoseok. He’s smiling
and the smile actually looks real. He’s happy for Hoseok. Only a few seconds pass by while
the room tries to figure out who he is, so Hoseok stands up to claim their attention. He walks
over to Namjoon and takes the date card from him so that he can confirm his own name.

He knows that the pressure will have been lessened off of Jimin now, because Hoseok is
going to have a shiny new target on his back. Not for nothing, he thinks he can probably
handle it. “Welp. Guess, I’ll be getting ready, then.” He gives the room a brilliant smile,
before he bows and then walks out, eager to get dressed and ready to go on what is probably
the most important date of his life.

There are a lot of conflicting attitudes in the room when he leaves. “Who the hell is that
guy?” Baby Eater Number One asks Baby Eater Number Two.
“I don’t know, but he’s one of my roommates.”

“Wasn’t he the very last guy to get a rose last night?”

“Yoongi is probably just picking him to go on the first date so that he can get rid of him right
away,” Baby Eater Number Three says to Number One. “That’s what I would do probably.”

Seokjin turns away from eavesdropping and then makes an annoyed face as he looks at the
guys around him. “I think Hoseok deserves it,” he mutters.

“He’s really nice.”

“I can’t say I’m not jealous, but better him than someone else,” Namjoon says, feeling
extreme jealousy. Not the mean, ‘I’m going to shit in your sheets’ jealous, but still jealousy.
He knew going into this that it would be difficult to watch people dating the guy he’s
interested in, but it is still rather uncomfortable when he already thinks he has feelings for
someone and that someone is going on a date with another guy.

“Where do you think they’re going to go?” Jimin asks, excitedly. “On the American show
they do super glamorous stuff like ride in helicopters, bungee jump, and things like that.”
Everyone knows that the budget for this show is probably not even a third of that budget.

“We’re like half an hour away from the city,” Seokjin says. The mansion isn’t quite in the
middle of nowhere, but its off the beaten path for sure. The closest house to them is about a
five-minute walk away. The land doesn’t look as though it’s going to be undeveloped for
long, though. It has the look of gratuitous “progress”, like it will someday be mutilated by a
bunch of ugly, fancy mansions like this one, but the land hasn’t been violated yet. It would
look quite nice separated into small, cute little homes, a quaint little city, but the presence of
this particular mansion rejects that as its future.

“I guess we won’t find out until he comes back tonight,” Taehyung says.

Hoseok comes down the stairs about half an hour later, with the two groups having separated
themselves again between kitchen and living room. He looks clean, but casual. Not a fancy
suit, just street clothes that make a few people want to ask him where he shops. He looks
gorgeous, honestly. Not like there was any chance that he wouldn’t, but tensions are high
when everyone is used to being prettiest and then they’re placed in a house full of other pretty
people too.

He goes back to sit amongst his new friends, trying to act humble. He knows that they’re
jealous, because Yoongi is the reason everyone is here and Yoongi decided he wants to see
Hoseok more than anybody else. Still, some jealousy is graceful while for some people it’s
ugly.

“You look really nice,” Seokjin says.

“Thank you,” Hoseok smiles back. The other guys all voice their approval as well, and it
makes his heart feel full and warm.
“Were you surprised when it was your name?” Yikes, that’s a question Hoseok doesn’t know
how to answer.

“Well, I definitely felt like Yoongi and I had a connection last night. I wasn’t entirely sure if it
was just in my head, but I guess that this proves it was maybe a little bit mutual. I don’t know
that I expected to be the very first date, but I thought, or mostly hoped that I would go sooner
rather than later.”

“Can we just talk about Yoongi for a second, because wow?” Jimin says. “He’s literally…
he’s so cute.”

“No, he’s sexy,” Seokjin says.

“Depends on the angle,” Hoseok says. “His right side is very alluring, but in all fairness, I sat
on his right side.”

Everyone knows when Yoongi is about to enter through the front door because all of the
cameras and the behind the scenes crew who are pretty much always there even though this is
supposedly a reality show start running around. People say things into headsets, but the two
rooms stay fairly segregated between the baby eaters and the non-baby eaters.

Hoseok sits a little awkwardly on the couch as before, but he feels very anxious all of a
sudden. Probably because his first impression with Yoongi was so good and he doesn’t want
to be a letdown. He’s worried he won’t be able to meet the expectations that he laid out last
night.

Yoongi was so pretty last night. He was gorgeous. Yoongi looked like a whole fucking buffet.
Platinum blond hair, a suit that fit him just right and eyes like a dream. And damn, his right
side was gorgeous. Maybe Hoseok will be saucy today and sit on his left side.

He felt special when he got to talk to Yoongi, even though everyone else got to do it too.
Being alone with him, it didn’t feel like there were other people to worry about and it didn’t
feel like Yoongi was invested in something or someone else. He was entirely with Hoseok.
He was special only to Hoseok. He wants to believe that a connection like that isn't one that's
given out so freely.

Everyone in this whole mansion noticed how pretty he was yesterday. Its undeniable. And
even despite the fact that Yoongi was holding back, he was charming. Something in his gut
tells Hoseok that he was different with him than the other guys. It’s ridiculous for him to
think that, because he’s talked to the guy twice, but there felt like there was something else.
Two sentences in, Hoseok could already envision more and more. He can tell that there can
be a future between them. Obviously, it would be great if that future is romantic, but
nevertheless, there is something more to be had.

When Yoongi walks in through the doors this morning, he looks just as decadent, but a little
more relaxed. You can tell that he dressed himself, but not in a bad way. He just looks natural
instead of looking like a red-carpet model. Yoongi’s face has a look of permanent confusion
whenever the cameras catch him. He literally lives in this place of the next nine weeks and
yet he feels like a stranger to it. Hoseok is waiting for him in the living room so he makes a
hard turn to the right, and all the eyes are already looking at him before he sees the people
they belong to. Even when ten guys have been eliminated, fifteen is still an intimidating
number of men to be looking at him.

They’re dispersed into a few groups, and by some stroke of fate, pretty much all the guys that
Yoongi had been most interested in are in the living room on one of the couches facing him.
They’re quiet now, but they’re in the formation like they were having a conversation.
Jungkook looks small compared to everyone even though he isn’t the shortest one amongst
them.

Then, there’s him. Only one person in the room is dressed like he’s ready to go out. Everyone
else is still in either pajamas or relaxed clothes. Yoongi doesn’t mind that look, but there is
something extraordinary about Hoseok. His jeans are black and maybe too tight. Yoongi
doesn’t notice anything else about the way he looks for the time being. Maybe he’ll pick up
on colors and hair in a moment when his mind exits the gutter.

“You look… good,” Yoongi says when Hoseok steps up to meet him.

“So do you,” he responds. The conversation is only awkward because it’s being watched by
fourteen other guys plus an entire camera crew and even more behind the scenes crew
including Producer Dad. If he was alone, he’d drink Yoongi in and say something dorky but
clever. “I’m really excited.”

“Me too,” Yoongi says. He doesn’t know where the they’re actually going on this date, so his
excitement feels a little premature. He’s just really glad that it’s Hoseok and not someone
else. He wants to spend time with this guy because he was instantly his number one. He
wonders how the camera will pick up Hoseok. Yoongi probably comes across as annoying
and aloof, but Hoseok is warm and vibrant. His smile will light up every television and
streaming website in the entire country.

“Shall we go?” Yoongi says, and Hoseok can tell exactly why Yoongi wants to leave here. He
doesn’t like the stares any more than Hoseok does. Hoseok has a lot more confidence,
though, just in general. But it would still be nice to not be in the same room as his
competition when he starts flirting his ass off.

With all eyes on them, they make their leave, Hoseok giving a friendly smile to everyone
watching, even the baby eaters. His mom told him he should have manners even towards his
enemies. If you’re nice to someone who isn’t nice to you, it makes them feel gross inside.

As soon as the two of them step foot outside of the house, Hoseok lets out a laugh. “That was
the most uncomfortable minute of my life, holy shit.”

“I honestly thought I saw your headstone in one of those guys’ eyes.”

“Damn, I’m too young to die over a boy,” Hoseok says.

Yoongi shrugs, “guess it just wasn’t meant to be then.”

Hoseok makes a face as he looks at Yoongi, analyzing him like he had last night but this time
in a goofy way. “You’re pretty cute. I might risk it just this once. You’ve gotta prove you’re
worth it, though.”

“Boys,” Producer Dad says, ushering them forward down the front lawn to a limo which is
waiting for them. If he says something else, neither of them hears it. Yoongi feels like a little
kid getting a ride home from his friend’s dad, except the car waiting for them at the end of the
lawn is a limo not a minivan.

“I’ll let you down, surely,” Yoongi tells him. He’s never met a single person in his life who
he hasn’t disappointed at least a little bit, and he’s not about to start now.

“Not with that attitude you won’t. I thrive in nihilism.”

Yoongi smiles, “oh then this will be perfect.” The sound of Hoseok’s voice is invigorating.
It’s not so much soothing as it is beckoning. He wants to hear it in all sorts of different ways.
His voice gave Yoongi goosebumps last night when he whispered in his ear. Even just
hearing his normal speaking voice now, Yoongi feels it hit that same spot.

Hoseok, who was already smiling, smiles a little wider. “So where are you taking me, good
sir?”

“I have no idea,” Yoongi admits. The two of them are now face to face with the limo. He’s
sure that there are several faces pushed up against the window from inside the house, but they
don’t matter. All that matters right now is that Hoseok’s hair is shiny under the sun and
Yoongi wants to test its softness. Hoseok isn’t all made up like Yoongi. His look is way more
natural. The producers told Yoongi that he’s supposed to be the most ideal and perfect at all
times, that’s why he gets the makeup. No one will believe fifteen men all falling for one guy
if he has acne god forbid. Apparently, you can only be the star of the show if your face is
perfect and flawless. How they ever chose Yoongi under those constraints is a mystery that
will never get solved.

“Here’s the thing,” Hoseok says, looking at the door to the limo. “It’s always hard to tell,
when it’s two guys: who’s got to open doors, who pulls out chairs. Like, which one of us is
the bigger gentleman.” After he says it, Yoongi opens the door and slides in himself, not
waiting for Hoseok to go in first.

“I cracked it.”

“Ingenious,” Hoseok laughs when he climbs in after him. Very suddenly Yoongi realizes that
limos are not as big as he thought. He’s never been inside of a limo before, but the second
that Hoseok steps inside, he takes a seat right next to Yoongi. There are more places to sit,
but he chooses to be right next to him. Yoongi can just picture Jungkook going to the far end
of the limo or riding in the trunk. There may be absolutely nothing to it. Hoseok doesn’t need
to have an ulterior motive to be so close to Yoongi, it could just be that it happened. Maybe
the limo isn’t small, Yoongi’s anxiety just takes too much space.

Hoseok reaches out as if to close the door, but before he can a cameraman clambers in very
awkwardly because he’s got a whole ass camera with him. Of course it’s not a private date.
This is a reality show, the whole premise is that people get to watch Yoongi go on dates with
men and watch him fall in love, but only he knows that the love part is never going to
happen. Even though he knows nothing will happen between him and Hoseok, it would be
nice to just chat with him without it being publicized to the whole country.

“Where are you hoping we go on this particular adventure?” Hoseok asks, and Yoongi
swallows air very painfully. His body is so close. Why is he so close? Why would he be
anything else? Yoongi’s leg is practically touching his. Hoseok is warm. Not just warm smile,
warm eyes, but his body temperature is warm. He probably gives great hugs. Of course he
gives great hugs, look at his squishy cheeks! Stop thinking like this Yoongi, it can only end in
disaster.

“Somewhere with air conditioning.” It’s not too terribly hot for a summer day, but it’s hot
enough that if he’s outside long enough he’ll get sweaty and gross. Even if nothing is going
to happen between the two of them, he still wants to look pretty. One of Yoongi’s greatest
fears is that he smells bad and no one tells him.

“About an hour and a half drive,” Producer Dad says as he too climbs into the limo. Of
fucking course. He always has to be there. Yoongi knows it’s because he’s a big shot, one of
the men in charge, but he also thinks Producer Dad might have pulled the short straw and has
been punished with having to deal with Yoongi. Whatever the case, Yoongi will never be able
to escape him. Yoongi does adore making Producer Dad angry. He feels like the class clown
always trying to push the joke a little too far.

It’s a good sign that Producer Dad closes the door behind him. That means it’ll be a nice
intimate conversation between two dudes who hardly know each other with two near
strangers watching and recording every sound. Totally normal. “You don’t have to make
conversation the entire time, we’re only going to show maybe a minute of this footage.”

“Would you just like us to remain in total silence for an hour and a half?” Yoongi says.

“Well maybe save the interesting stuff for when we get where we’re going.” Both of them
roll their eyes, thinking the same thing: let’s fuck him up as much as humanly possible.

“Alright so we can only talk about the texture of dirt and math.”

“What kind of dirt are we talking?” Hoseok asks, playing along. “That brown squishy stuff in
forests or like the dry dusty stuff in my backyard.”

“I’m a big fan of potting soil.”

“Ooh, that is a good one. Far better than manure.”

“For sure,” Yoongi nods. “What are your thoughts on mud?”

Hoseok pauses like he’s thinking about it. “It really depends on the situation for me. When I
was a kid, I liked to make things out of mud. Lots of mud hamburgers were made. I never ate
one myself, but I did make one and a kid ate it, but I did not encourage him to do so, no
matter what my teachers will tell you. However, as an adult, my opinions of mud depend on
what type of shoes I am wearing.”

“I don’t think you have to just be a kid to play in mud. People do mud baths at spas.”

“I think that’s a little too much mud for me. Don’t get me wrong, I like to get dirty-” Yoongi
snorts so loudly that he derails whatever was left of Hoseok’s sentence.

“Do you now?” Yoongi asks, grinning widely. He only holds back his impure thoughts for a
few moments before he lets them run a few cartwheels in his brain. He just needs to think
about it in passing.

“I could tell you all about it later, but I feel it might be too interesting for me to waste that
anecdote here where it will never be seen on TV,” Hoseok glances at Producer Dad with a
cheeky look. Yoongi eats him up. Hoseok is just as snarky as he is. He’s gentler with it, but
there is something devilish in his eyes.

“Oh god, there’s two of them,” Producer Dad mutters. It’s at that that the limo actually starts
to roll out of the long circular driveway. He realizes too late that he can’t escape. Trapped in
this small enclosed space with Yoongi. There’s a camera and two witnesses, he’d never be
able to get away with a murder.

“Boo!” Yoongi shouts melodramatically.

“Just give me like ten minutes of usable content, okay Yoongi? Just ten minutes. Then you
can start spouting conspiracy theories for miles or whatever it is you do.”

Yoongi makes a face. To his knowledge he has never talked about a conspiracy theory a day
in his life, except for the one time a coworker almost convinced him that Tupac wasn’t dead.

“Usable content…” Yoongi says, then into a robot voice, “So, Hoseok, how are you today.”

“I am fine,” he replies, his robot voice is better than Yoongi’s. Hoseok’s got that vibe to him
like everything he does is better, and he doesn’t even try. Yoongi feels inadequate.

Hoseok can already tell he likes Yoongi more than he had yesterday. He’s the right brand of
weird and snarky. The kind that melds well with Hoseok. He’s funny even though he
probably thinks he isn’t. He’s eager to pick his brain more, figure out how it’s possible that
this beautiful man would need a dating show in order to find love. As stupid as he thought
this show was going to be, which was very stupid, he thinks that Yoongi is the only bachelor
who could possibly give it the amount of seriousness it needs, which is to say, none. He
understands how ridiculous all of this is. He must be here for a reason, though, and Hoseok
hopes that the reason turns out to be him. Yoongi doesn’t know it yet, but fate called him here
to find Hoseok. Hoseok is just lucky enough to have found Yoongi.

The usable conversation Producer Dad is looking for turns out to be in the form of some
backstories. He sets them up with the task and it’s difficult to get started. Yoongi wouldn’t
say his life is tragic by any means but it’s not an easy past. “This is definitely not where my
parents would like me to be,” Yoongi says.
“I’m sorry.”

“It’s kind of… whatever. I don’t know. Rapping isn’t a job until you make it big and that
hasn’t happened yet, so I’m not the prized child. I’m supposed to go back to school so that I
can make a real career for myself, but I just can’t. It’s not like I don’t want to, but I physically
cannot just give up on what I want. It’s not just that I wouldn’t be happy, I just wouldn’t feel
right if I wasn’t creating or producing music. My parents still love me through my choices,
but they don’t agree with what I’m doing. Family dinners are difficult. They’re definitely not
too keen on this show either. My parents don’t fully accept that I’m not like a heterosexual,
hegemonic mannequin. I think I’m a disappointment. I’m the problem child.”

“I wish I could say something to make it go away. It’s awful when you have everything in
you to be who you are – the means, the inspiration – but people reject it. For you, it’s your
family, and that’s probably the hardest it gets. As for me… well my mom, she’s as supportive
as it’s possible to be. My dance lessons as a kid cost a fortune, though she’s never told me
how much she spent. My dad is pretty okay with it too, he had other goals for me, but he’s
not angry. The real monster is being accepted by other dancers. I’m the bisexual guy doing
underground dancing. It’s sort of a tough crowd, people aren’t always accepting. People
are… well you know how people can be when you’re not straight,” Hoseok says. There’s
some darkness that drifts off at the end of his sentence that Yoongi doesn’t want to pry about,
but there’s something bad lurking there. There’s always a sharp edge when someone
mentions their sexuality. Even if they’ve never gone through the bullying and the beating up,
there’s just a lilt to it. An untold violence.

Agust D, as a rapper, hasn’t gained enough attention to have any negativity shot towards him,
but Yoongi suspects it’s going to be there when he makes it off the ground. It doesn’t so much
scare or sadden him coming from strangers, it’s just annoying. Plus, if things get out of hand,
Yoongi can just write a song calling someone a shithead. Music is a great medium for you to
insult people, a lot more straightforward than a dance.

There will always be something that lingers though. When so many people refuse to accept
you, it does something to your psyche. Confidence and a refusal to care can do a lot, but they
can’t do everything. Yoongi doesn’t know Hoseok’s past but he feels anger at the idea of
people rejecting him. He’s known the man twenty minutes worth of time and already he
despises thinking about negativity he might have received.

“So, this is just a ‘middle finger up, accept me, or I’ll fuck your dad’ kind of a thing,” Yoongi
says, because they need some goddamn levity. His life story is probably not as depressing to
other people as it is to himself, but he doesn’t want to give way too much of his soul away,
and he doesn’t want to make Hoseok do so either.

“You took the words right out of my mouth,” Hoseok says.

“I think the two of us could take over the world,” Yoongi says, off-handedly.

“I’ve been considering it for a while. Give it a week or so first, okay? I need a little more out
of my partner in crime before we aim that high.”
 “Well my star sign is tired, I didn’t learn how to tie my shoes until I was about ten, and I’m
better at cooking than I look.”

“Those are the three things I was going to ask you about to determine how good our
teamworking skills are.”

Holy shit, Hoseok’s squishy face.

This isn’t Yoongi reconsidering anything. He still wishes he wasn’t on this show. He still
thinks it’s stupid. He’s just thinking about how cool it would be to have met Hoseok
somewhere else. At a coffee shop, or at a park. Somewhere that isn’t here so that it’s okay for
Yoongi to be mesmerized by the shape of his mouth.

This isn’t even him having a crush. It’s just him appreciating someone for their face and
personality. He feels this all of the time and it hardly ever builds into anything romantic in
any way. He likes to platonically fall in love. He’s never been in actual love, because there
just always feels like there’s something missing in the other person, and there’s no way that a
guy who auditioned for a dating show is going to be in possession of something no one else
has.

Why did it have to be a dating show? Why did this wonderful man have to get cast on a
dating show? Yoongi would have slightly more respect for him if he wasn’t on a dating show,
which is the ultimate hypocrisy because he, Yoongi, is also here.

This isn’t Yoongi looking into himself. He’s trying to be superficial here. He thought it was
going to be so easy. His impression of reality stars has always been that they’re vapid and
stupid. It’s completely unprecedented for there to be kind, intelligent personalities. It’s even
more absurd that Hoseok is as adorable and funny as he is.

There’s only so much mental gymnastics Yoongi can take before he has to merge two trains
of thoughts together. He wants to keep all of these things separate, but he’s playing so many
roles. He wants to be an asshole to the crew, but nice to the contestants, but he hates this
show, but there are so many cool people, but there’s no way someone could ever fall in love
on a dating show, but what if it were possible? Is his cynicism strong enough to hold
everything behind a dam?

Yoongi’s got a headache.

Chapter End Notes

So just as a note, I actually have no destinations in mind for dates, so please leave me
suggestions if you've got any ideas! Thank you for reading and please comment!
 Oh No
Chapter Summary

The sky is falling.

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

{{

(The Bachelor: Boys Will Be Boys SK Interview Park Jimin #4)

Yeah, I was definitely a little surprised when the name was read out and it wasn’t me. I
think… well I’m trying not to think too much into at all actually. There has to be a reason I
got the first impression rose, just like there has to be a reason that Hoseok is going on the first
date. I don’t think it’s a slight to either one of us. Obviously, Yoongi and I had a connection
last night, and I’m sure that sometime soon I’ll be able to talk to him again and we can
hopefully strengthen that connection.

[Long Pause]

I talked to Hoseok a little bit last night, and then again this morning and I understand why
Yoongi would want to pick him. That doesn’t mean I’m not jealous, but I get it. He’s a really
nice guy, and he was the first person to actually congratulate me for getting that first rose.

I’m very worried about living here, though. Some people are nice… but then there are others.
There’s this guy, I’m not going to name names, but he told me that he was a pro-gamer but
that he couldn’t tell me his handle because he doesn’t want too much attention. Why is he on
a dating show that’s going to be on national television if he doesn’t want attention? Pretty
fishy if you ask me. [An eyeroll so vicious that somewhere in the world, a fairy loses its
wings.]

I’ve never really left where I’m from before, so it’s a new experience being here, and that
doesn’t even take into account how different it is to live in a mansion but share my room with
four other guys. It was really awkward last night. There’s only three bathrooms upstairs
which sounds like a lot of bathrooms I guess, but when there’s five guys all competing to
shower per bathroom it’s a bit much. I really hope it gets better. I guess as people get sent
home, there will be more space…

I think it’s going to be an uncomfortable few weeks no matter what. I’m really dedicated to
why I came here, though, which is to fall in love. I struggle to find people I’m interested in
who are interested in me too. When I like someone, they always turn out to be straight, which
is tedious when it happens over and over again. This just seemed like such a cool way to find
my one, and no matter how difficult it is, I am determined to see where it goes. If I came here
only to give up because it’s uncomfortable then what’s the point of coming here at all?

Because, here’s the thing: Yoongi is just so cute. We had a lot of fun talking last night, I just
couldn’t stop smiling [you can’t stop smiling now either, can you Jimin?]. I definitely already
have a crush on him, because who wouldn’t? He’s so sweet, and he’s also really funny. I was
actually shocked when he gave me the first impression rose. I thought there had to have been
a mistake or it was for someone else with my name. It meant a lot for him to pick me. I
thought our conversation was really special, but he talked to a lot of different guys last night,
so I thought that he must have had a dozen special conversations, but I guess we just had
more… that just feels really good.

**Notes from the director: Give this kid more screen time. I can't explain why but looking at
his face gives me undue joy.

}}

“What is your, like, most arbitrary deal breaker? Something stupid like, if this sonofabitch
gets crumbs in the bed, I’m kicking them to the curb,” Hoseok asks. There’s a possibility that
Yoongi adores this man, because they’ve been in the limo now for about an hour and Hoseok
has decided it would be comfortable to lie on his back on the seat, with his legs straight up
against the door of the car, feet hitting the ceiling above him. It seems like a perfectly
adequate yoga pose were they not in a moving vehicle. His head is practically in Yoongi’s
lap. He’s so fucking cute. His hair is all splayed out on the seat, and he’s looking up at
Yoongi. There is a one hundred percent chance that he can see up Yoongi’s nose, and there is
a one hundred percent chance that Yoongi is worried about boogers.

“Snoring,” Yoongi says, instinctually. “Sleeping is probably the most important thing in my
life. No, it is the most important thing. I love it so much. If someone tries to disrupt that with
their snoring, I’m just totally out. I can’t handle it.”

Hoseok laughs, “so what if I told you that I snored?”

“Guess you gotta go,” Yoongi shrugs, gesturing to the door which Hoseok’s limbs are
blocking. The snoring isn’t really as serious as he’s making it out to be. It’s baggage for sure,
but for the right person he’d just learn to live with it.

“Well, you’re in luck. I don’t snore.”

“Not ever?” Yoongi asks him, quizzically. “Not even when you’re sick and your nose gets all
stopped up?”

“Would I ever lie to you?”

“Hmm,” He makes a face.

“I’ll tell you what,” Hoseok says, and then his hand scrambles, trying to find Yoongi’s hand
which is difficult for him in this position. “I’ll let you find out for yourself sometime.”
Yoongi loses it, taking his hand from Hoseok’s to cover his face as he laughs into his sleeve.
Hoseok watches him, giddy. “Was that too much? It was too much.”

“I can’t believe you, Hoseok,” Yoongi pulls his face back out, and he looks more innocent
than Hoseok has ever seen him, and that has nothing to do with the fact that his face is upside
down. He looks so young and alive when he’s smiling like that. He never wants that smile to
go away.

“You should always smile,” he says. “You look perfect when you smile. It’s unfair to
everyone else.”

Yoongi gets pink. He puts his head into his hands to laugh off Hoseok’s words. “Whatever.”

“No, it’s true,” he says, and Yoongi knows he’s being serious because he lifts his head up
from the seat to look at him.

“Okay, but what’s your deal breaker?” Yoongi asks to change the subjects.

“It is absolutely washing the dishes. No matter what, if someone doesn’t do half of the dishes
with me, I just get unreasonably annoyed. Like, you ate the food too, why do I get the dirty
part? I hate washing dishes, I think it’s gross, so if I’m doing them, you better damn well do
them too.”

“I’ll get you a dishwasher for your birthday,” Yoongi says.

Hoseok makes a face, “That’s even worse though. When there’s still food on the plate and it
definitely needs to get rinsed, but if you just put it in the dishwasher it’s not going to get
clean, because it’s all caked on there. I need to stop talking about this or I’ll start crying.”

“Aww.” Yoongi doesn’t mean to make the sound out loud, but it comes out anyway, and then
he just laughs at himself. He brushes a few hairs out of Hoseok’s face unconsciously. Yoongi
looks down at Hoseok for several moments and it’s a comfortable silence. It would be more
comfortable if there weren’t two other people in the limo with them, but it’s still nice. Hoseok
has a way about him that makes even an uncomfortable situation like this feel okay.

“I’ve got tell you something bluntly, Yoongi,” Hoseok says.

“And what might that be?”

Hoseok points up at the roof of the car, a rectangle in the center, which is the visor stopping
light from coming in through the sunroof. “I’ve been looking at that thing for about ten
minutes now, and I really believe we can both squeeze in there.”

Yoongi looks at it, then looks at Producer Dad who’s shaking his head no. “We definitely
could.”

Hoseok gets an evil smile on his face before he takes his legs down and swerves rather
clumsily until he’s again sitting next to Yoongi. “What are we waiting for?”
“Please don’t,” Producer Dad but he says it in a tone of voice like he’s already given up and
just does not have the effort inside of him to stop them.

Yoongi pulls the visor open while Hoseok pushes the button to open the roof. “This probably
isn’t safe,” Hoseok says.

“That’s why we gotta do it.”

“I’ve never heard truer words.”

Outside of the real window, it’s apparent that they’re in the city, but this city is a big place, so
that doesn’t mean a whole lot. The limo is moving pretty slowly, and there are other cars on
the road around them, so they’re going to be seen when they stick their heads through, but it
doesn’t matter. Making an idiot of themselves in front of strangers isn’t something that
Yoongi or Hoseok have deep internal qualms about.

“It was your idea, so I’ll let you have the honors,” Yoongi says, which he supposes is that
gentleman thing Hoseok was talking about earlier. Hoseok beams at him before he bows
rather jokingly. Without a hint of hesitation, he stands up, poking his body through the hole in
the roof. Almost instantly there comes a loud “woo!” from his excitement.

Barely a beat behind him, Yoongi joins him. The interior of the limo is dark and pristine, but
once he’s out through the sunroof, he’s exposed to direct sunlight which violently blinds him
for a few seconds while he blinks. Before long, he opens his eyes and sees quite possibly the
most beautiful thing imaginable: Hoseok’s face in perfect natural light with his brown hair a
mess in the wind. He looks like he’s standing on top of the world. This is what made that guy
from Titanic fall in love with that girl from Titanic. The image of seeing Hoseok like this
could make anyone question their priorities.

“Holy shit!” Yoongi exclaims and then laughs because he literally loves it. He feels like the
world’s richest dog, so luxurious that he needn’t stick his head out the window, he can instead
stick his whole fucking torso out the roof. It’s a pretty tight fit, they’re facing each other,
almost chest to chest, but Yoongi forgets to overanalyze that because the world is literally so
cool from this perspective. The limo could be lapped by an overzealous bicyclist, but it still
seems like the world is flying by the two of them. The wind feels amazing on his face, and
he’s sure that all of the hard work that went into his hair this morning has quite literally gone
out the window.

“This is so fucking cool,” Hoseok screams out into the day, and then Yoongi laughs and
makes a “woo!” sound of his own. He feels an adrenaline rush and he knows that it has to do
with standing through a sunroof, but part of him is also aware that it’s because he’s doing it
with this particular man.

It’s obviously not going to happen, but it does occur to him that this would be a pretty
magical way to kiss someone. His face is mere inches from Hoseok’s, so the thought is
inevitable. He would just lean over and kiss him, wrap his arms around the back of his neck
and keep him close. It would make Producer Dad vibrate with excitement, except there’s no
cameras out here. They’re actually more alone now than they’ve been so far, even though
anyone walking, driving, or even looking down from a window can see them.
He has no intention of kissing him obviously, he’s known this boy for less than twenty-four
hours. Instead he just looks at Hoseok’s face. It hasn’t worn off in the last few seconds of
looking at him, he still looks celestial like this; young, alive, and free. Yoongi puts his arms
out like he’s going to take off and fly into the sky. His shirt is flapping in the wind along with
his hair. Hoseok holds Yoongi’s arms up, really driving home that Titanic parallel.

“You look really pretty right now,” Hoseok tells him. To be heard over the sound of the city,
he has to say it a little louder than he normally would. Yoongi’s face was already red from the
wind on his face, so it doesn’t change a whole lot after those words.

“You do too.” Hoseok smiles in such a way that it’s clear he knows what he’s doing. This boy
knows he’s fucking pretty. It’s not even arrogance, he’s just playing a winning hand.

Hoseok squints into the sunlight, watching tall buildings pass by them, and looking at drivers
who angle their heads in order to look at the two idiots who are standing in the limo. Hoseok
actually waves at one particular man who’s got his window open, smoke from a cigarette
billowing out of it. The way he doesn’t give a shit what people think of him is a huge turn on
for Yoongi, but he doesn’t let it show. Yoongi laughs, he doesn’t think he’s laughed this much
at anything for years. The adrenaline pulls the laughter out of him like air bubbles. Hoseok
does the same thing to him.

At a traffic light, the limo lurches just a little bit which sends Yoongi against him. Hoseok is
able to catch him, wraps his arms around Yoongi’s shoulders to steady him. This boy is
warm. And Yoongi tries not to think about it, but being pressed against him, even for only a
second, he can feel a dancer’s body against him. He’s strong and firm; there’s no doubt that
Hoseok taking his shirt off could start a war.

“You okay?” he asks. Yoongi hurriedly pulls himself off of his chest and nods. “Good. We’ve
got to do one thing before we can go back down.”

“Scream at the top of our lungs,” Yoongi says.

“That’s exactly it!” It’s got to be illegal to stick your head through a sunroof and not scream
at least once. What’s the goddamn point? It’s what people do in movies, and it’s a dream that
he didn’t know he had which is about to come true.

“Count of three?” Hoseok nods, and then they count down from three together. Yoongi lets
out possibly the most ferocious scream he’s ever managed in his entire life, and Hoseok voice
is just as loud. The scream is so loud that it hurts Yoongi’s vocal cords just a little bit, but he
doesn’t care. He’s never felt so free in his entire life as he does right now. The world doesn’t
exist anywhere but in this little hatch with the two of them pressed together shouting at the
wind. Yoongi can almost see their voices come out in colors around them.

“Hide, hide, hide!” Hoseok says, as soon as a group of pedestrians turn their heads to look at
who the hell just screamed like that on a goddamn Tuesday. Yoongi is back inside first, he
misses the seat behind him and just ends up falling onto the floor, while Hoseok missteps and
falls on top of Yoongi. They’re laughing again almost immediately, Hoseok pulling himself
off of Yoongi, and the moment is too fast for him to even begin stressing about the fact that
Hoseok is literally on top of him.
They end up back in their spots on the seat where they had been before, with Hoseok
laughing against Yoongi’s shoulder in a way far too familiar for two people who met last
night, but it doesn’t really register that way for either of them. Hoseok is supposed to be here,
against his shoulder.

“That was a rush,” Hoseok says finally.

“Who needs heroine when you could just stick your head out of a car?”

“I’m sure there’s something to be said about heroine. Don’t need to worry about finding a car
to stick your head out of.”

Yoongi nods, taking that as a point to Hoseok. He completely ignores whatever facial
expression Producer Dad has right now, because now he’s looking straight into Hoseok’s
eyes. He hadn’t mean to, but he’s got a hand on Hoseok’s thigh and that seems a little too
intimate, so he pulls it away, and then Hoseok laughs as he starts to run his hands through
Yoongi’s hair.

“This has gone to shit, you look like you took a siesta inside of a wind tunnel.”

“What is with your obsession with ruining my hair?” Yoongi asks him. Just like last night he
has to try to maintain a neutral facial expression because he really, really likes it when people
play with his hair. In a not suitable for young audiences sort of way.

“You’re too beautiful to look at when your hair is perfect. I’ve got to take you down a few
pegs. Not for my own self-worth, I just think you might blind people.”

“You’re so full of shit,” Yoongi says when Hoseok decides he’s done with his hair.

Hoseok suppresses a smile very poorly. He had told Yoongi he should be smiling all the time,
and yet he’s a hypocrite, because there’s no smile more worthy of attention than his. “I don’t
think you could do anything to your hair that wouldn’t make you look good.”

Yoongi scoffs, and then starts to work his hands through his own hair, ruining whatever
patchwork Hoseok just did. It still has a sufficient amount of product in it for him to fuck
with. He gives himself what can only be described as a clown hairdo, with a point on either
side of his head and then looks expectantly at Hoseok. “Crushed it.”

“It’s not going to make the highlight reel, but I think you could pull it off. Buckle the trend
and all that jazz.”

Yoongi smiles and then lets Hoseok fix his hair again for real. He looks very hard at work as
he concentrates on it. He’s really close, and Hoseok is a very pretty man up close. He’s also a
very pretty man from far away, but he’s almost sure Hoseok doesn’t have any pores and that’s
startling. Yoongi falls in love with the details of him. He likes the shape of his nose, and the
deep brown of his eyes. Yoongi bites down on his tongue until Hoseok is done fixing his hair,
and he also stops breathing. What’s happening to him?

“Better?” Yoongi asks, taking his first breath in at least a minute.

“Yeah,” Hoseok says. One of them bites their lip. Yoongi doesn’t know who. This time they
have a silence which is awkward. Hoseok seems to know that he just affected Yoongi, and he
doesn’t know how to talk through it. Hoseok looks at him very curiously, reading his every
inch and trying to write the story he sees there.

“We’re here,” Producer Dad says. He doesn’t seem to realize he’s cut the tension.

“Great! Are you going to tell us where now?” Hoseok asks. “What are we actually doing?”
He wants to show off to Yoongi, make him see how silly and easy he is to be around. Not like
he has to exert any effort to get along with Yoongi when he’s literally the most fun person to
talk to ever.

Yoongi swallows a few times, trying to get moisture into his mouth. It’s a lot easier to find his
bearings when Hoseok turns to look at Producer Dad instead of at him. When he looks at
Hoseok it makes him gay. Not whatever vague sexuality he actually is, but full on gay.
However, There is a problem with Hoseok looking away, because when he stands in profile,
Yoongi can look at the shape of his lips and that just sends him spiraling all over again.

“Today, you’re going shopping.”

“What?” Yoongi asks, a little confused.

“Shopping. You know like exchanging money for goods and services.”

“We get to go shopping?” Hoseok looks excited. Yoongi is going to put the pieces together of
what Producer Dad just said in a minute when he stops drooling over the look on Hoseok’s
face. He needs to process that before he can try to tackle language.

“The network told me that Yoongi needs better clothes,” Producer Dad says, looking at him
with an evil little glint to him. Yoongi cross references syllables with a dictionary in his head,
but it takes him a while to put those words into a coherent sentence. It appears as though
Producer Dad is making fun of him. It is good to know that underneath all of that zombie
makeup, there is a human inside of Producer Dad capable of making jokes, even if they’re
not very good ones.

Yoongi suspects that Producer Dad is trying to get a rise out of him, but it’s not really a big
deal. Of all the things Yoongi most values about himself, his fashion sense isn’t really a kick
in the groin. Now if he starts insulting Yoongi’s music there’s going to be an assault charge.

Hoseok rolls his eyes. “Your clothes seem perfectly nice to me, but I’m not going to say it
wouldn’t be fun to play dress up.”

“You’re giving us money, right?” Yoongi is asking the hard questions.

“You have an allotted budget.” He says the words monotonously, but Yoongi hears it as a
beautiful song. Money.

“Whatever money we don’t spend can we keep?” he asks, and Hoseok laughs at the question.
Yoongi would probably spend all the excess at the fanciest restaurant he can find, and he’d
take Hoseok with him of course. He wants to eat his own weight in seafood. And get
smashed. He’s not pretty when he’s drunk but he feels pretty. Drunk Yoongi low key thinks
himself a stripper.

“Do you truly believe, with any part of your thick skull that the answer to that question is
yes?” he says with so much spite that it sizzles.

Yoongi shrugs and then pouts. The famous pout which got him a raise in his allowance more
than a few times as a child. Hoseok accidentally gets a look of Yoongi’s face and his blood
turns into lead. Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck. Holy shit. Keep calm. He cannot keep calm. Holy
shit! That’s illegal! Hoseok’s going to fall apart.

“What’s this so-called budget?” Yoongi asks, and Hoseok’s ears are muffled over the sound
of his bones screaming inside of his body.

“Three items of clothing each, and you had better look happy while you’re shopping or I
swear to god Yoongi, I will-”

“What are we waiting for then?” Hoseok interrupts. He doesn’t realize he’s interrupting the
end of a threat, he just needs to get out of this car to breathe fresh air because Yoongi has
done things to him.

Producer Dad explains a few more things. Apparently, there’s another car that followed them
with gear and some more cameras, so it’s going to be a nice intimate date with five
unwelcome guests. People are going to stare at them on the street, wondering why in the hell
two people, who aren’t idols or famous in any other way have an army of cameras. It looks
like it’s a pretty busy shopping district, so they’re not going to go unnoticed. Maybe people
will mistake them for famous, and that could be a good thing for Yoongi’s career.

Either way, Yoongi likes free things and getting to go shopping on TB BWBB SK OTC LC’s
money makes him feel quite good, especially because he knows how annoyed Producer Dad
is by it. This date was clearly not his idea. If it were up to him, Yoongi’s date would start or
end with him inside of a dumpster.

Yoongi wants to put Hoseok into clothes he’s not daring enough to try on himself. Not in a
dirty way, he just knows that anything could look good on a body like that. But if he happens
to dream about Hoseok tonight in a pair of short shorts that’s just a happy accident.

Before they’re allowed to go adventuring, Hoseok is led away and shoved into the second car
so that they can both do some of these goddamn interviews. Yoongi is getting sick of having
to tell the camera how he’s feeling. He likes to have thoughts inside of his head, that’s why
they’re called thoughts, because he thinks them.

“Yoongi,” Producer Dad says, changing his tone to get serious and even a little less
condescending than usual. In the limo, it’s just him, Yoongi, and the cameraman who is
actually a pretty okay dude as it turns out. He’s got a wife, two kids. His favorite color is
yellow. Nice guy.
“Father,” Yoongi responds. No nickname could possibly piss off Producer Dad quite as much
as that word. He flinches like Yoongi just smacked him.

“Listen Yoongi,” he says. “Either you like that kid or you’re a better actor than I thought you
were. Please, for the love of God, give this camera some emotions, okay? I don’t need you to
be ready to get down on one knee and propose, but if you could give the viewers at home
some semblance of humanity to make them believe you aren’t a monster, that would be
fantastic.”

“I have emotions!” Yoongi is starting get a little offended with him insinuating that he
doesn’t show compassion to the camera. “Have you watched any of the footage you’ve
taken? The only person I’m consistently a bitch to is you, and that’s because you think so
little of me.”

Producer Dad rolls his eyes, and Yoongi makes a loud huffing sound. He knows he’s right on
this one. Yeah, there have been times where he’s been an asshole to a camera, or to an
interviewer, but the second that he actually talks to or about any of the contestants, he’s been
nice. It’s not just because he’s on camera with them and he doesn’t want the country to think
he’s a demon. He also respects that they came on here for a really genuine goal, to fall in
love, and it’s Yoongi’s duty to them to be kind.

He probably does have some backlash from Producer Dad owed to him, because he is after
all very hot and cold. His nice face only extends to some people. Maybe he understands why
Producer Dad gives him so much shit. He supposes if he wants Producer Dad to treat him
better, he could be nicer… to the crew that is. Not to Producer Dad, but to other people he
could probably do that.

Yoongi thinks about it for a minute while he tries to get the composure to give his interview.
He prefers these “thought” interviews where he’s just talking to the camera instead of being
grilled by someone. He really should be nicer, shouldn’t he?

The cameraman gives Yoongi the green light to start when he’s ready, and he has to screw his
head on a little tighter before he’s able to start talking through his thoughts. “Hoseok is…”
Yoongi starts, and he hates the sound of his own voice right now. He wonders what Hoseok is
talking about. It makes him feel a weird combination of fear and flattery that he might be
gushing over Yoongi right now. It was just a car ride but they’ve already had fun. “Well,
Hoseok’s not what I expected. I don’t mean that he’s different then the guy I met last night,
because he’s the same, a bigger personality than I even thought. What I didn’t expect was
someone like Hoseok at all. He’s really fucking cool.” Yoongi doesn’t forget to censor
himself, he just doesn’t give a [censored]. “I don’t really know how to describe him.”
Regrettably, Yoongi cannot stop a smile from forming on his face. Maybe it’s not regrettably.
Producer Dad wants him to have emotions, right? “He’s just fun. He’s so fun. I feel like I
could talk to him for days and never get tired of what he has to say. He’s like a ball of energy
and he’s, well I’d be lying if I didn’t say I think he’s attractive. I think he’s gorgeous. I’m a
complete sucker for squishy cheeks like his.

“The reason for why I chose Hoseok for date one is because I knew instantly last night that I
wanted to know him better. It was almost immediate. He came out of the gate making me
laugh and I know he’s going to do the same all day today. I considered giving him the first
impression rose,” Yoongi chuckles a little to himself. The microphone couldn’t have picked
up that particular exchange last night. Only he and Hoseok know. He hopes at some point
he’s able to talk to Hoseok about it, without the microphone hearing it. It’s a tiny little secret
but it feels special. “But I knew I had to pick him today, because I know we’re going to have
a good time. He makes me laugh. That’s what everyone says they want most in a person,
right? Well I do too. I want someone to make me laugh.” Uh oh. Yoongi is talking about his
feelings and he’s being honest. This was not intentional. “I think I just need someone to
counterbalance me. I wouldn’t necessarily say I’m gloomy or unmotivated, but my
personality, it’s often very muted. I’m the kind of person who doesn’t turn the speakers on
loud enough. The balance I need is someone who turns the speakers on way too high.
Someone with a personality like a firework. Hoseok… I think he has that quality. People like
that are really special.”

Yoongi gets lost in thought a little bit. He often feels like his life is fast paced even when
there’s nothing going on. Of the two people he has ever seriously dated, both of them felt like
they were riding in a slow lane, and he was passing them. They lacked agency. If there’s
anything Yoongi cannot stand, it’s people who always ask, “what do you want for dinner?”
or, “what movie do you want to watch?” or any configuration of “what do you want to do?”
every goddamn time. You have to assert your own opinions and make your own plans every
once in a while, it’s exhausting to always be the one who has to decide. Those people think
its courtesy, but it just comes off as laziness to Yoongi. It’s a lack of motivation and Yoongi
moves too quick for those people.

Of the few hours he’s known Hoseok, he knows that’s not who he is. Sure, he’ll ask those
same questions, but there’s no way in hell that that boy lets anyone make decisions for him.
He stuck his head through a sunroof because he could. He’s confident and it’s sexy. It’s
unimaginably sexy. Yoongi knows he can’t just push Hoseok over and that is something he’s
been looking for.

What Yoongi wants isn’t just someone who refuses to be walked over, he wants someone
who bounces off of him. His sarcasm is met with better sarcasm. His shitty jokes are made
shittier. His bad ideas are met with ecstatic agreement.

It’s not possible that that type of person is on this show… but Hoseok? He scares him. If
Yoongi’s preferences were made into a bingo card, Hoseok would be feeling pretty
comfortable right now. But there’s just no way. And even if there was, Yoongi promised
himself not to get invested in anyone.

“I think this date is going to be fun. If what I’ve seen today is any indication, he has a pretty
good sense of style. I fully plan on letting him pick out clothes for me, as long as he lets me
pick clothes out for him. If he is who I think he is, I’m probably going to end this day
wearing something I never would have picked out for myself in a million years, and it’ll
somehow look good. Here’s hoping.” Yoongi winks at the camera for good measure.

Today should be a lot of fun, actually. With Hoseok, it’s bound to be. If he can make a car
ride that fantastic, then what else is he able to turn to gold? It’s a dangerous game letting
Yoongi out in the world and telling him he can spend someone else’s money. He’s not the
kind of friend who orders an expensive meal at a restaurant when his friend is paying, but he
is the kind of person who will buy a really expensive jacket when a rich TV studio is paying.
Eat the rich and other Marxism’s.

Yoongi probably wouldn’t say he’s a good dresser, or that he overwhelmingly enjoys
shopping, but he enjoys the experience of hanging out with his friends, and he would
probably say Hoseok is a friend, even if Hoseok might want more. That thought chills him as
instantly as he thinks it. He really enjoys hanging out with this guy, but Hoseok is here on a
dating show, while Yoongi is here on a reality show. They’re being filmed by the same
cameras but Yoongi is filming an entirely different show.

It makes him feel worse than shitty. Hoseok is so funny, and sweet, and Yoongi is resigned
not to be attracted to anyone, but Hoseok doesn’t know that. Yoongi is an awful person.
Hoseok is this wonderful and charming guy, but he thinks that there could be something
romantic between them. By merely being nice to him, Yoongi is leading him on. He made a
big show of it last night with his speech about how he wasn’t going to kiss anyone if he
wasn’t invested in them, but here he is, allowing people to try to win him over and refusing to
let them in.

“Is that what you wanted?” Yoongi asks, losing face when he looks at Producer Dad. He
actually seems very pleased with what Yoongi just gave him. It doesn’t do any good for
Yoongi’s implosion though. Why is it so hard being a jerk? Can’t he just suck in his morals
and drill through? Being apathetic is such theater. Yoongi is too pure of a person for his own
good.

When he steps out of the limo, Hoseok is already waiting for him, standing on the curb of the
street watching people pass by him. A few people look at the limo quizzically, and one
person assesses Yoongi’s face as he exits it, but both his clothes and his hair are dead
giveaways that he’s nobody special. He’s facing away from Yoongi, so Hoseok doesn’t see
the pained expression on his face.

The sky is falling. He made the promise not to be mean to any of the bachelors, but isn’t
refusing to take the show seriously for what it is even more callous? He can act nice to their
faces, but he’s lying to them. He’s lying to Hoseok. Yoongi is enjoying himself with Hoseok,
but Hoseok is ignorant of Yoongi’s expectations, or more accurately his lack thereof. Hoseok
is so kind and so fucking cute. He’s someone who Yoongi could actually see himself dating.
He could see himself with a few of these guys, Jimin, Namjoon, hell maybe even shy little
Jungkook. They’re real people and to be liked by any one of them is a miracle, but all of the
above are vying for Yoongi: the guy who refuses to like them back.

Yoongi walks closer to him, and as he approaches, he can see how pretty Hoseok’s skin and
hair look under the sun. He might actually be the most beautiful man in that mansion. Yoongi
can’t remember any of those other faces when he looks at Hoseok. That’s the only face that is
important.

How could he ever break this man’s heart? So maybe he doesn’t end up falling for Hoseok.
Maybe he doesn’t fall for anyone. But how shitty of a person is he if he doesn’t even give
anyone a chance? He thought he knew what he planned on doing. He really thought he had
this covered. All he had to do was to be cynical the entire time. But that was before he
realized that the contestants are all people, a lot of them are really nice people. What if one of
 these guys really is made for him? What if it’s Hoseok? Isn’t he just hurting himself in the
long run if he refuses to even try?

Hoseok sees him in the corner of his eye, so he turns to look at Yoongi once he’s a few feet
away. What a face. “Yoongi!” He says in his perfect Hoseok voice. Yoongi thinks he loves
the sound of his voice. No one has a voice quite like it.

“Hoseok,” he says. Maybe Hoseok likes his voice too, because when Yoongi says his name, it
makes him smile from ear to ear.

Oh no.

Chapter End Notes

I took notes on all of the suggestions you guys left me for date ideas, so a lot of you can
expect to see them come up in the chapters to come! Please leave a comment, I love
you! #blm
 "Hoseok Sounds"
Chapter Summary

This chapter has absolutely no plot and I love that.

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

{{

(The Bachelor: Boys Will Be Boys SK Interview Jung Hoseok #5)

I’m kind of freaking out. I don’t know if you can tell. [Not doing a particularly good job of
containing it] I think I’m doing a pretty good job of containing it, but I’m freaking out.

Okay, so I knew, I knew that Yoongi was cute. That was obvious. Like, his face, and his hair,
and even, like, even his hands. But I [censored], I had no idea he was going to be that cute.

I’m fine, everything’s fine, it’s totally fine.

I don’t think I knew going into this show that it would be like this. I came here for honest
reasons, don’t get me wrong, but I had a lot of doubt that someone posing as “the bachelor”
could ever be someone I would be interested in. I was hopeful but not quite optimistic. I truly
didn’t think I would actually have a connection. But Yoongi… oh my god. I could not have
planned on Yoongi.

Have you seen him? I don’t know how much of that limo ride is actually going to be shown,
but he couldn’t be cuter! He actually thinks I’m funny, which is astonishing, because lots of
people just think I’m loud. He has the same sense of humor as I do, and it wasn’t just him
playing along! I can already talk to him like I’ve known him for years, because I just sort of
understand him. That’s not every day that you meet someone like that!

He’s so, like, soft? His face and his hair, they’re just so soft. Actually, his hair isn’t soft,
because there was a lot of product and hairspray in it, but it’s just the way it makes him look.
He looks like a little baby angel. I bet his hands are soft.

Usually I talk to my friends or my sister about liking someone, but they’re not here so I’m
telling this camera, and I know I sound gross and cliché. But I don’t even know how to deal
with my emotions right now, okay? I’m just trying to put myself back together, because I
have to go out there in a few minutes and go on a date with this boy and I am going into that
date knowing already that I want more dates and more talking to him and everything Yoongi
all the time.
 Yoongi is just so sweet. I don’t know if it’s just because we’re on this show… like everyone
is in love with the idea of falling in love, and you throw everyone in a house and tell sixteen
people that falling in love is the whole point… it would make anyone feel things. But
Yoongi? I can tell there’s something really real between us. I would absolutely still feel it
even if we just met at a party or something. I think he probably glows in dark rooms, he’s that
amazing. He has this sort of intoxicating way about him. That must be why he’s the bachelor,
right? Because he just feels right to be around.

[Censored], I hope it’s something special though. I don’t want to sound arrogant or anything,
but I think my connection with Yoongi last night was probably more special than most of the
other guys [a sly smile as he thinks about what he whispered into Yoongi’s ear]. No one else
can understand what I mean when I say I felt something.

I just can’t believe I’m here. I can’t believe I feel like this. It’s day one! It’s literally day one!
It’s just… have you ever known something in your heart? Known something intangible that
you can’t explain how you know it? I can just tell. Like a fortuneteller, I just know. I just
know…

**Notes from the director: What on earth could this guy possibly see in Yoongi?

}}

When it comes to clothes shopping, Hoseok knows exactly where he wants to go. A little
whisper behind his eyes tells Yoongi that he knows already what he wants Yoongi to wear.
He lets Hoseok drag him behind. They pass a few clothes stores which Yoongi would go into
were he not being led by a madman. There are several mannequins inside of storefronts
which Yoongi thinks look great, but Hoseok is on a mission and goddammit if he isn’t going
to have his way.

Yoongi follows behind him like a dog, of course. He wishes Hoseok was literally pulling him
behind him physically, because then he’d get to hold Hoseok’s hand, but that’s kind of gay so
he tries not to think about that. Yoongi is kind of gay. Mmm, Hoseok’s got nice legs.

Hoseok perches them at their destination, a store name which looks to be French so he’s not
going to bother trying to pronounce it. It looks much the same as any other store they’ve
walked past, but this is clearly Hoseok’s end goal. Yoongi looks back at the camera crew
struggling to keep up and smirks. What was that about being nicer to the crew? He can still
thrive off of other people’s pain and be a good person, right?

“Do you shop here?” Yoongi asks. The storefront is entirely glass so that you can see the
inside, and you can tell it’s fancy and high end because the floors and walls are a gleaming
marbled white. The clothes are also devoid of color. Only expensive places are so
monochrome. That’s not to say it’s a bad thing, but it is most certainly a fact.

“Not likely,” Hoseok says, laughing at the thought. He holds the glass door open for Yoongi
to walk in, and then, like a goddamn fucking gentleman, he holds the door open for a camera
man or two. They have to stop where they are near the entrance so that someone can go ask
the staff if they’re allowed to film in here. Hoseok gets really close to Yoongi while they
wait. Hoseok does not have any preconceived issues with closeness, that’s very obvious. He
will get into your personal space without a second thought. “I can’t afford to shop in a place
like this. But we’re not using our own money. This is the only chance we’ve got.”

“I think you and I are playing the same game.”

Hoseok smiles at him, dripping in confidence. They get the go ahead that they’re allowed to
film in this store and at this, Hoseok pounces. It seems to Yoongi that stores with expensive
clothes seem to have far fewer options. There are probably only about thirty different items
of clothing on the whole first floor of this store, and maybe like four or five sizes of each. It’s
all the kind of clothes that look ugly on hangers but probably look good on a human person.
That’s not really what Yoongi usually wears, he wears things to go unnoticed, but which
might be considered fashion forward as long as he’s not standing next to Hoseok.

“You like to wear black, don’t you?” Hoseok asks. How does he know Yoongi so well?

“What gave it away?” It should be noted that Yoongi is currently wearing all black.

“Lucky guess.”

“I don’t think there’s anything in here that I want you to try on,” Yoongi says, looking at one
particular black jacket that is admittedly quite nice, but as nice as it is, it doesn’t look like it’s
worth the price tag. “I think you’re more colorful.”

“What color do you see me in?” he asks, as he grabs a black shirt and then holds it up to
Yoongi to test it out. He makes a face of approval and throws it over his arm while he grabs
something else and then repeats the procedure.

“I think any color,” he says, and then he’s daydreaming. “Green… pink… yellow... red.” All
of the above. He could look pretty in literally anything.

“So basically a rainbow?” Hoseok says.

“Yeah.”

“I think being attracted to you is already gay enough. But I’ll try anything on that you want.
If you put me in a rainbow, then I’ll wear a rainbow.” Yoongi smiles. He’s going to find
Hoseok a rainbow if it’s the last thing he does.

Hoseok puts him into a jacket which is too big for him, but it works that way. He evaluates
him with a big grin. He looks like he was made to be a stylist, but then again, Yoongi is
smitten so his judgment cannot be trusted. “Damn, it’s only the first thing but you look good
in it. This is going to be difficult narrowing it down to only three things.”

“You don’t need to get everything at just this store.”

“Of course not! It’s just that you really do look good in that.”

“I always look good,” Yoongi responds jokingly.

“Don’t I know it.” Either Hoseok is a dangerous flirt or Yoongi is the luckiest man on earth.
He’s choosing to believe the latter. “I’ve got a few more things for you,” he says and then
puts his stack of “a few” into Yoongi’s arms. Maybe it’s not as many as he thinks it is and
expensive clothes just weigh a lot. “I’m not going to say I wouldn’t love it if you tried them
on out here in the open, but I’m pretty sure we’d get demonetized.”

“How did you do all this so quickly?” Yoongi asks.

“I’m just a really eager person.” That and he could pick up a trash bag and Yoongi would still
look good in it. Yoongi finds that it’s pretty easy to forget about the cameras when he’s with
Hoseok. In general, he doesn’t let them stop him from saying or doing what he wants, but it
feels obvious around him. Of course they don’t matter. Of course they’re not even there.

Ushered into a dressing room by an eagerly awaiting Hoseok, Yoongi puts the clothes up onto
the hook and starts to evaluate them. A pair of pants that look both fancy dress and
completely insane. Even if he wasn’t shopping with Hoseok currently, he’d know that they
were definitely picked out by him. A shirt or two. Another pair of pants that look like
something Yoongi already owns but five times the price.

It turns out to be incredibly fun to model for Hoseok. He puts on a bunch of clothes in his
best attempt at a look and then runway walks like the slutty part of himself that he tries to
keep secret. He isn’t even doing it in a sexy way, the clothes he’s wearing aren’t risqué, he
just feels like the most beautiful whore there ever was as he walks down the length of the
store in clothes that cost more than a year’s rent on his apartment. It’s a Pretty Woman
moment and he’s milking it.

Not to be left out, Hoseok does his best catwalk along with him. It’s the only time so far that
Yoongi is thankful that the camera is there. Yoongi is trying to take it seriously, gives the
camera a smolder and a failed wink. But Hoseok doesn’t know the word “serious.” He gives
himself as many chins as possible when he gets close to the camera, poses like that for longer
than is necessary, and then walks away from it with that pomp and circumstance shit. Hoseok
holds his pose for just long enough to get Yoongi’s laugh to pierce him.

“Mesmerizing,” Yoongi claps. Hoseok has the loudest, most contagious laugh ever, and
Yoongi is helpless to it. He high fives Yoongi but then his fingers intertwine with his and they
hold each other’s hands for a fraction of a second before Yoongi hurriedly pulls his hand
away. Yoongi’s hands are cold, a mix of poor circulation and clammy nerves. Hoseok’s hands
are strong and warm, probably some mixture of sin and decadence.

Yoongi clears his throat and then gestures at his clothes, “Is this look inspiring you at all?”

“I already told you the problem is that you look good in everything. I do think you’re wearing
that jacket like a king, though,” he says adjusting its collar, the very first thing he put him
into. It’s black, short on the waist and with gold embellishments. Probably not real gold but
you never know at this price. “But you’ve got another round of things to try on so I’m
reserving judgment.”

“Are you sure I don’t look like a peasant in the king’s clothes?”
“That outfit costs about the same as the down payment on a car, but the clothes are certainly
not wearing you. You’re absolutely the star, the clothes are just an accent. And think about it
like this, even if you don’t like that jacket, just think about how much you could resell it for.”
Yoongi has thought the exact same thing so many times, it even reminds him of the thought
he had about the mansion were he to “win” it.

“You read my mind sometimes and it’s frightening.”

“I have a lot of thoughts that I hope you cannot read from my mind,” Hoseok says in a very
serious tone. God, Hoseok is dangerous. Yoongi’s going to blush himself out of existence.

Yoongi goes back into the dressing room, which is just a curtain hiding a little closet from the
world, and Hoseok has to hold it closed on one side so that no one can see in. He guards the
curtain very carefully; Yoongi highly doubts he’s the kind of person to peak. He’s got a very
innate honesty about him. Even just him relaying his own dirty thoughts is honesty. He’s
probably not a very good liar, which is something that Yoongi likes. Not that people go
around lying to him, but it is nice thinking that someone can’t lie to him.

“I’m going to find you something super gawdy with a rainbow on it,” Yoongi announces to
him as he changes from one pair of pants to another.

“Are we talking children’s cartoon or pride parade?”

“Maybe both.”

“I’ll try anything once. Unless you like it, in which case I’ll wear it forever,” he says and
laughs at himself. “I’ve got a very particular thing I want to convince you to try on if I can
find the right one.”

“Are you going to tell me what that is?” Yoongi almost trips putting his leg through the next
pair of jeans. They are surprisingly the perfect size, so maybe Yoongi wasn’t the only one
who looked at the other’s ass.

“Nope.”

“Mister mysterious,” Yoongi says, pulling open the curtain to unveil a second bastardization
of fancy clothes that Hoseok seems to adore despite Yoongi feeling like a little boy playing
dress up in his dad’s closet.

“Beautiful,” he says, and then actually twirls Yoongi on his finger which is both the cutest
thing ever and a little bit embarrassing. “I think that jacket is the winner, though.”

“You mean I tried on all of this other stuff for nothing?” he says, lifting his shoulders.

“Well you gave the camera a treat, that’s for sure.” And you gave me a treat as well, Hoseok
smiles.

“You don’t talk to everyone like that, do you?” Yoongi asks. He doesn’t mean for it so sound
as needy as it does. He just wants to know he and Hoseok have something special. It would
break his heart in two for these to be things he says to other people willy nilly.
“Yikes, if I did, I think I would’ve been slapped in the face far more times than I have,” he
says.

“How many times have you been slapped?”

“Only once,” he says, and he doesn’t explain further than that. “I’m like… well I have a
pretty huge personality to begin with, but I’m definitely laying it on a little thick because,
um, uh, well, feelings and all that.”

Yoongi doesn’t know what ‘feelings and all that’ means. “Feelings?”

“Well I didn’t come on this show in order to not impress you, did I?” Hoseok says, a violent
red rushing to his squishy cheeks when his words break. Yoongi bites his entire lower lip into
his mouth. He managed to turn candid flirting into something awkward. This is why Yoongi
is single. That and because he struggles to form strong emotional bonds to other people.
When it comes to admitting what’s wrong, he likes to be surrounded by scapegoats.

Yoongi looks at his shoes. They’re his own shoes, so they look out of this place in this outfit.
Come to think of it, he would love it if he got some shoes. He always has trouble spending
money on shoes, which is weird because you would think spending a lot of money on
something you wear on your feet every day is easier on the conscience than buying a shirt,
but Yoongi is really good at wasting his money on shirts.

“I think the jacket is a good choice,” Yoongi says finally. Hoseok must be made out of magic
because all it takes is him flashing his bright teeth to remove the tension from both of their
backs. Yoongi’s smile reflects his. This boy is dangerous.

“Perfect! You change and we’ll get out of here, because I can’t wait until you find me a
rainbow.” There are times in his life where Hoseok likes to dwell on moments, but there are
other times where he wants to make new moments, and that’s what he feels right now. He
would love to stay here and look at Yoongi as he looks like this all day, but there’s a whole
day of adventure awaiting them. One item of clothing down, five to go.

After Yoongi is back in his own clothes which feel raggedy in comparison, Producer Dad
appears from thin air to use a very tantalizing black card to pay for the jacket. The price of it
makes the hair on the back of his neck stand up. Damn. Yoongi was disappointed when he
found out he wasn’t getting paid for this show, but before this gig he was running papers for
an income, and this one jacket is about twelve weeks of running papers. He feels like he
needs to treat it like the crown jewels, never to be worn, just seen and worshipped. Hoseok,
however, pulls the black cardigan that originally accompanied his all-black outfit from his
shoulders, which is neither wool nor cashmere but instead that sweet sweet polyester blend.
He replaces the new jacket in the bag – even the bags in this store are fancy, what the fuck? –
with Yoongi’s folded cardigan. The jacket with this outfit looks a little unbalanced, but it’ll
work for now. As the day goes on, Yoongi’s look will hopefully become a little more
cohesive.

“I’m going to keep this price tag as a souvenir.” Yoongi has never owned anything expensive
before, so removing the tag is more hard work than he’s done all week. It’s tied in a very
intricate ribbon through the button on his sleeve and Hoseok has to help him out. Then the
tag goes into a pocket where he pats it down carefully. It might be a little bit too warm for the
weather, but Hoseok picked it out for him and he will fucking wear it, okay?

Back onto the street, Hoseok isn’t on the same mission as before. This stroll is a bit more
leisurely, looking into store windows and then walking past when no inspiration hits.

“Is there anything specific you want to get?” Hoseok asks.

“I’d really love a pair of shoes.”

“Oh, yes! Me too, actually. I kind of forgot that shoes were also clothes, or they’re kinda
clothes anyway.”

“We should get matching shoes.”

“We should get matching shoes.” Yoongi is worried that Hoseok will think that was a joke,
but it was not. Is it a little too soon to get matching shoes with Hoseok? Yes. Does that bother
him? No it does not.

Yoongi points to a store which has a bunch of shoes in the window and they veer in that
direction. Yoongi is usually a black sneaker kind of person. That doesn’t need to be stated
because he is wearing black sneakers right now but it’s still true.

“What? Are you kidding me, Yoongi? I can personally afford these,” he scoffs. Hoseok has
turned into a monster and Yoongi loves that.

Yoongi lets him take charge, Yoongi can name like five whole brands and Hoseok can name
about a hundred so he trusts Hoseok’s superior knowledge. That is, until Hoseok points at a
store with some of the ugliest shoes he’s ever seen. “Those are some of the ugliest shoes I’ve
ever seen.”

“I love them.”

So now Yoongi owns some of the ugliest shoes he’s ever seen and Hoseok has a matching
pair in a different color.

“Are these fashionable and I’m just stupid or was this the dumbest monetary transaction I
have ever been witness to?” he asks as they walk out of the store, Yoongi now about an inch
taller than before, but so is Hoseok. It’s not like Hoseok is much taller than him to begin
with, he’s got an inch on him at the most.

“What is fashion really?” Hoseok says in a lofty voice not to be taken at face value.

“My feet are currently worth more than my computer.”

“But I feel expensive and I like it.”

“I took a sociology course in high school and I think it might have benefited you.”

“Sometimes I just want to feel special.”

“I can make you feel special without thousand-dollar shoes,” Yoongi says it before he hears
it. Then he hears it and he hates himself.

Hoseok just turns to look at him with a shocked expression before he bursts into his loud
Hoseok laughter again. He laughs so hard that he bends over, and Yoongi’s life flashes before
his eyes. Hoseok laughs with his entire body, that was no secret, but this is something else.
Yoongi isn’t horny for Hoseok anymore, he’s just crazy about him. He’s also horny for him,
but like, horny for his mind and soul in addition to ‘damn, Hoseok fills out those jeans.’

“Remember Yoongi,” he uses Yoongi’s shoulders to pull himself back up after a few
moments. Even having embarrassed himself, Yoongi isn’t capable of surviving against
Hoseok’s contagious laugh. “If you don’t like the shoes, you can always just sell them later.”

“Are you kidding? I would never sell these, their ugliness is their charm!” This is when
Hoseok would kiss him if Hoseok was allowed to kiss him. He’s really close to him, close
enough that he can distinguish individual eyelashes. Yoongi has such a cute fucking nose.

“We look pretty damn cool,” Hoseok says. He pulls himself away from Yoongi casually.
Nothing at all abnormal about the way he looks at the ground and puts his hands in his own
pockets. He always bites his lip and sighs whenever he gets too close to other people.

“We don’t, but that’s part of why I love it.”

A brief intermission of Hoseok daydreaming about kissing Yoongi later and he’s the one
following behind Yoongi. Not because Yoongi knows where he’s going but because he has let
Hoseok take the lead so far and now it’s his turn.

He can tell as they go further and further along the streets that they’re approaching an art
district. It’s clear when they start seeing the painted murals on the sides of buildings. Yoongi
looks up at one in particular with his mouth half open, thinking about how talented a person
has to be to make something like that. He’s not sure if they’re wandering away from the
clothes shops or not, but he knows that everything is getting prettier. Just looking at the world
seems like a date enough to him.

They pass a street performer with a guitar before Yoongi sees it. It’s not on a mannequin in
the window display, but rather, he can see it tucked away between other clothes. There’s no
reason for why Yoongi is able to spot it from this distance in the first place, all that matters is
that he has found it in these dark times.

He’s so excited that he doesn’t even realize he grabs ahold of Hoseok’s hand and pulls him
behind as he does a lazy man’s version of a “run”. If he weren’t pumping out adrenaline, he
would realize he’s holding Hoseok’s hand right now. The store is across a street but not the
kind of street that cars drive on, but he’s so eager that he almost gets barreled over by a
tourist. It’s imperative that they get there as fast as possible because what if someone steals
the pot of gold before he makes it.

“Whoa,” is all Hoseok says because the initial tug on his arm is almost violent, but then he’s
just making small Hoseok sounds as he dragged along. There’s no way for “Hoseok sounds”
to be defined in any other way than as sounds that are produced by Hoseok. No one else
would think or even want to make Hoseok sounds and that’s special.

Yoongi pulls him into the store without waiting for the cameramen to catch up because fuck
them. Except that guy whose favorite color was yellow, that guy’s great.

“There has to be an absolutely wonderful reason for why you just tried to pull my arm off,
and I’m honestly vibrating from excitement.” The funny thing is, Hoseok’s not even being
sarcastic. Yoongi lets go of his hand when he steps into a store that is in no way at all high
end. It’s an honest to god thrift store. It’s so thrifty there’s a fucking mural on the wall inside
of the store. It’s so thrifty that with one small glance he sees two different Rolling Stones
shirts.

Yoongi nods and then walks over to the rack he saw through the window. What he finds there
is everything he ever could have dreamed of. The sweater doesn’t just have a rainbow on the
arms like he had thought from afar, no, this sweater is a full-on rainbow ugly Christmas
sweater. The sweater is smack you in the face vibrant and there is no way in hell anyone
could ever possible look good in it, but Hoseok is about to prove that wrong.

“So?” Yoongi says with so much pride on his face.

“It’s hideous,” Hoseok says, looking touched.

“You really think so?” Yoongi asks, feeling himself swell with adoration.

“I’ve literally never loved something more.” He grabs it from Yoongi and gives the hanger
back to him before he’s pulling the sweater over his head, not even a trace of hesitation.
Yoongi’s got the jacket that’s inappropriate for the summer weather and now Hoseok is going
to have a sweater that is quite possibly even warmer.

“It’s not super expensive, I’m sorry,” Yoongi says once Hoseok pokes his head through and
then tries to fix his staticky hair.

“That doesn’t matter one bit, it’s perfect!” he says walking over to the nearest mirror to
evaluate himself. “I don’t think anyone would see this and think it’s cheap, I mean look at
me. I make this designer.” He spreads himself out excitedly, hands in the air, bright happy
face. His face is the only thing in this world brighter than the sweater.

“Countries have started wars over less,” Yoongi says. The ugly Christmas sweater was made
to be worn by him. Yoongi absolutely refuses to believe it wasn’t designed specifically to
find its way onto Hoseok. It looks close to brand new, and it’s probably because someone was
given it as a present and thought it was ugly so they immediately turned it around and
donated it to the thrift store where then hundreds of people have passed by it and known they
weren’t worthy.

The sweater is pennies compared to the other things that have been purchased so far. Yoongi
with his jacket that could feed a family of sixty as well as their matching shoes which could
feed a moderately sized army. The sweater doesn’t match Hoseok’s shoes, because nothing
could ever match his sweater, or for that matter, his shoes. Neither of them cares that they
both look ridiculous because their day is too much fun to think about those things.

“One to go for each of us,” Hoseok announces as they walk down the street a few minutes
later. Producer Dad – seriously how does he keep disappearing and reappearing like that? –
gestures his head for them to go in a different direction because there aren’t many more
clothing stores in the direction they’re headed. For one of the first times in the last two weeks
of knowing him, Yoongi actually does what Producer Dad wants. He still wants to spend lots
of money on things he doesn’t need, especially since it pisses Producer Dad off.

Hoseok keeps looking down at his sweater in awe. “I can’t believe you actually found me a
rainbow, I’ve never felt more at peace with myself or the world.”

“It looks like you,” Yoongi nods.

They walk for quite a bit longer this time, nothing immediately jumps out to either of them,
but that’s okay, because it gives Yoongi time to just talk to Hoseok freely. They talk about
little things and big things and it’s easy. Movies and musicians but also school, friends, and
family. Hoseok wants a dog but his apartment doesn’t allow pets. Yoongi’s apartment does
allow pets but he doesn’t have a dog yet because wants to co-parent a dog, he doesn’t trust
himself to do it alone. Hoseok jokes about their future dog together. Yoongi doesn’t
particularly have commitment issues which is why that joke doesn’t bother him. His only
commitment issue is that he wants to commit to someone, and he hasn’t found them yet.

He learns small things about Hoseok that make him want to scream. He puts his blanket in
the dryer for a few minutes before bed most nights because it helps him get to sleep. He’s
addicted to knock offs since he can’t afford the real thing, which is probably why he’s so
happy with his new shoes. He cuts hearts out of construction paper and hangs them in his
window because it might make people feel good if they walk past and see them. Yoongi
didn’t know that details about a person could be so perfect. Oh my god, Yoongi, are you gay?

It only takes twenty minutes for Hoseok to become Yoongi’s best friend. The camera is
trailing behind them and he doesn’t just ignore it, he completely forgets it’s there. Hoseok’s
over-the-top laughter breathes life into him. He doesn’t think he could ever be tired near this
man, and Yoongi is first and foremost a tired and lazy person. But with Hoseok it’s like he
just chugged an espresso. Yoongi hasn’t even thought about his bed back at the mansion all
day. He always thinks about his bed. For him to not be thinking about bed is a miracle and a
half.

They’re on a new street from before, the shops don’t look nearly as high end as when they
started out, but they’re still not cheap. These are the kind of stores that a reasonable person
would go to in order to get something mildly expensive. Yoongi could see himself
theoretically being able to afford a cardigan from one of these places.

This street is apparently the street performer hub. One guy with a guitar, someone else with a
trumpet, three people pretending to be statues and of course: dancers. “Oh,” Hoseok says,
drawn out. Even the way he says that one goddamn syllable makes Yoongi feel things.
“I always feel super untalented when I see things like this,” Yoongi sighs. He can’t swim, he
can’t dance, and he doesn’t know karate. He’s never going to make it.

“Should I?” Hoseok points at the dancers, and then gives Yoongi a squirrelly expression.
They’re doing that popping and locking shit that Yoongi doesn’t understand because he
doesn’t know any dances at all. When he was a little kid, he could beat the shit out of his
brother at Just Dance but that’s not really the best test of skill.

Yoongi’s mouth dries up. “Yes.” He doesn’t say it as loud and obnoxiously as he does in his
head. There is nothing on this earth that Yoongi wants more than for Hoseok to dance. He
cannot name a single thing. He wants lots of money and he wants fame and he wants job
stability and he wants his own house but right now, none of that matters. He wants Hoseok to
prove to Yoongi why he’s like that.

One thing Yoongi hadn’t prepared for was for Hoseok, in typical Hoseok fashion, to be
perfect. He runs eagerly over to the origin of the stereo music like a little toddler. About five
different people are all performing freestyles that could win awards with ease, and a small
crowd of people, a mixture of locals and tourists are watching them. These people are
walking on their hands like it’s normal; Yoongi sometimes trips walking in a straight line.

Yoongi doesn’t realize his mouth opens aghast as he watches him. Hoseok moves his body
like water. The beat is inside of him. He’s lithe and delicate but also forceful like a butcher
knife. Everything about Hoseok is enchanting. Wow. There’s a reason Yoongi has only ever
had sex with men. Hoseok’s body is just… it’s a lot.

To say he’s falling in “like” is an understatement. Hoseok is just perfect. He looks like he’s
having the time of his life, and he is fucking good. There’s a reason he wants to be a dancer, a
reason why no other career is right for him. It’s because he looks like that. It’s because he can
make a bunch of people who are good at dancing look like they suck in comparison. Or
maybe Yoongi only has eyes for one person. Either way, he’s not going to sleep tonight or
maybe ever again.

It’s not a battle but if it was, Hoseok won. The fact that he’s wearing the worlds gayest ugly
Christmas sweater makes it all the better. The most expensive shoes Yoongi has ever seen up
close matched with a sweater that he can afford twice with one shift at work. Yet he dances
like he has never had a care in the entire world. His expression is serious until he comes back
to Yoongi, and that’s when he beams like the sun.

“Thanks for humoring me,” he says. Yoongi’s mouth is still hanging open catching flies.

“You dance good,” Yoongi says, blinking.

They can both tell that something has just changed between them. Up until this point, Hoseok
was an unbelievably cute person, and yes, Yoongi knew he was sexy before, but it isn’t until
now that he realizes Hoseok is trying to kill him. Hoseok knows he impresses Yoongi
because it’s written all over his face. Yoongi is ordinarily very good at maintaining a blank
expression. His resting face is unamused. There are no rules when it comes to Hoseok
though.
“Yeah?” He chuckles.

“Mhm.”

Yoongi wants to hold his hand. He looks at Hoseok for a second, but the eye contact is
difficult when it’s reciprocated by the most soul crushing eyes in all of existence, so he just
bites his lip and looks down at the pavement. He’s held Hoseok’s hand today already so he
knows it’s nice. But he wants to hold it casually right now. Hold it just to walk down the
street. Hold it because that’s what you do when you like someone and they like you back.

“I’ve still got one thing left to get you and I think that it’s right behind you.” It’s a mercy
killing. Hoseok is trying to take Yoongi’s mind off the fact that he’s falling down a rabbit
hole.

Yoongi turns his head. There are several shops there, and he doesn’t know which one he’s
referring to. But he goes with Hoseok towards them. The very last one Yoongi expected to be
taken to is the one that Hoseok stops in front of.

“This is a women’s store,” Yoongi states.

“I guess I should ask you before we go in. Are you opposed to wearing a skirt?”

Of all the questions Yoongi didn’t expect to hear, this is actually not one of the craziest.
“Uhhh.” Doesn’t mean it’s not a weird question, though.

“So there’s this trend of men wearing black skirts over jeans, and I think it’s really hot, and I
just want, I just think, I guess-”

“Okay.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah, why not?” Yoongi shrugs. If Hoseok wants it, that’s alright with him. Especially if he
thinks it’s hot, because Yoongi wants him to think he’s hot and cool even if he doesn’t feel
that way on the inside. Today and even this whole show is about him stepping outside of his
comfort zone so what better way to do that than with Hoseok here and now? He trusts
Hoseok not to troll him with clothing choices.

“It won’t be too girly, I promise, I just think-”

“You already convinced me,” Yoongi says, because he can tell Hoseok is worrying himself
over it. He might be embarrassed admitting it and Yoongi doesn’t want him to feel that way.

“Okay, yeah.” The two of them go into the store and Hoseok picks out a few different options
for him. One is a whole ass dress. Everything he picks out is black, except for a white one
with silver etchings on it. Yoongi trusts his eye, he has no reason not to. He thinks will
actually look pretty cool, because he knows fashion just enough to know that breaking
boundaries is what’s in nowadays.
“You’re going to look like an idol when you wear all this stuff,” Hoseok says, holding up
what appears to be a leather skirt which worries Yoongi. The one thing that worries him is
clothes that look like they’ll restrict his movement. Not like he has plans on running away
from an ax murderer, but he does tend to wear clothes that allow him the option to run away
from an ax murderer were the situation to arise.

If Yoongi weren’t already a non-heterosexual he would be worried about how wearing a skirt
affects his rap career, but he is a non-heterosexual rapper so he’s already playing a unique
role in the world. After today, he’s going to look the part more than he ever has, all thanks to
Hoseok.

Hoseok hangs the items on his left arm as he looks through racks and racks of clothes. This is
a nice store but not a high end one, it looks like the kind of store where a business lady shops
for clothes. The only reason that the women who are also shopping in the store look funny at
the two of them is because they have a camera crew with them.

“I think I have too many things,” Hoseok says after about ten minutes. It’s an understatement.
He’s started using Yoongi to hold even more clothes now because his arm got too tired.

Yoongi roll his eyes, “come on, let’s just go try it on.”

The fitting room in this store is an actual room with a door this time which is quite nice. It’s
strange that a store as fancy as the first one didn’t have a real door when this one, which has
clothes that are more than half as cheap, has one. It doesn’t matter too much because Hoseok
says he just has to put the skirt on over his jeans.

“Just come in with me, you’ll probably fit into all this shit too,” Yoongi says it so confidently
and he doesn’t even blush as he says it. Does he not know how that sounds? Or does he just
not care? There have been many times today where something Hoseok says has paralyzed
Yoongi, but this time, it’s Hoseok who’s frozen. Why is Yoongi doing this to me? Is he a
blessing or a curse?

Hoseok goes in with him because he doesn’t know how to protest, and he wouldn’t want to if
he did know.

When the door closes, Yoongi sighs happily. “I just wanted us to be able to have a
conversation without an audience,” Yoongi says, pulling his mic pack off and turning it off.
Hoseok grins and does the same.

“It’s like a whole different universe being able to just talk to you,” he says.

“So last night,” Yoongi says, because he’s got no time making small talk before he gets to the
juicy stuff. They have to go back to the cameras sooner rather than later, so there’s no time to
waste.

“Yeah?”

“How did you… when you whispered in my ear, how did you know I was going to give you
the first rose?”
Hoseok makes a face. “How deep are we going to get?”

“As deep as you want to go, I guess.”

“Well, okay. I was pretending to be confident at first. I decided I was going to come to this
thing swinging because… gosh I don’t know. It’s so much to go onto this show, right? And
think maybe I can find something good. If I’m shy about it, nothing good will come out of it,
so I got out of the limo trying to show the best side of myself. I was trying to impress you, I
still am. Then when we got to talk, we just had, well we barely had any time at all last night,
it was only like five minutes, but it felt easier than talking to anyone, so I just had this
feeling. I didn’t want to walk away, and it just sort of came out of me in an instant.”

“You didn’t rehearse it or anything?”

“How could I?” Hoseok laughs. “I really didn’t expect to have an instant connection with
you… wait, we did have one, right?”

“Well duh,” Yoongi says, gesturing around them, because they’re literally on a date right
now. It’s been a perfect date so far, but it wouldn’t have been if Yoongi brought someone else
with him. Just picturing Namjoon or Jimin here instead makes him thankful that they’re not,
because damn. They’re both wonderful finds but this day has been perfect because of
Hoseok. No one else would have been right.

“I’m not just too overconfident, right? Cause I can tone it down if you want,” he asks. Yoongi
realizes now that he’s actually second guessing himself. How could anyone who looks and
acts like Hoseok ever question themselves? If Yoongi were Hoseok he would love the shit out
of himself.

“Don’t tone it down, I like it.” He almost says I like you. “I struggle to actually say how I’m
feeling. I think that’s something you’ll need to get used to. But I’m trying not to be too in my
head right now. Just don’t doubt why I picked you to give that rose to. Don’t doubt the one
I’m going to give you in a week when we do it all over again.”

Hoseok looks relieved to hear his words. Being all alone with Yoongi, no cameras or
microphones, makes him feel more vulnerable than he ever has. It’s definitely sad knowing
that when they leave this dressing room, they’ll lose the intimacy that comes from privacy.

He looks at Hoseok with a long gaze from head to toe then back up. “Let’s find out which
one of us look better in a dress,” Yoongi says when the conversation meets its end. He’s
fascinated with the shape of Hoseok’s mouth and even as he says the words, he can’t take his
eyes off of it. Hoseok’s got him feeling like a sex-crazed teenager all over again.

He makes an airy sound and nods, looking at the pile of clothes that he had just shoved onto
the chair when they first walked in. This is a mountain that will not be climbed quickly.

“I have no doubt that I’m going to win,” Hoseok says.

“I’ve got fantastic legs.”

 “You’ve got chicken legs and you know it.” It’s true but Hoseok is kind of into that so it’s not
really an insult.

“Chicken legs or not, at least I’m not the one wearing a rainbow sweater.”

“Excuse you, this is my favorite sweater that I own, so shut the fuck up.”

Yoongi smirks, watching Hoseok step into a skirt, which okay, now that he sees it on Hoseok
he understands why it’s a trend. Or if it’s not, he can understand how someone that looks like
Hoseok could make it one.

“Don’t just stand there!” he says before throwing clothes at him. Yoongi has quick reflexes.
He takes his shoes off to be careful, just as Hoseok had. He doesn’t want to damage his very
expensive shoes that have already been paid for, but he especially doesn’t want to damage the
very nice clothes that haven’t been paid for.

This fashion show is far superior to the one earlier today because in the few hours since then,
they’ve become even more familiar with each other. Hoseok tries to wolf whistle at him at
one point, but it comes out as a sad, droopy little whistle so Yoongi makes fun of him for it.
Hoseok’s outfit does not work with a skirt, but Yoongi’s most definitely does. If it were up to
him, he would stop time and stay in this dressing room forever joking around with Hoseok.
It’s so easy. Being around other people can be such a hassle because you have to worry about
being presentable and saying the right things, but Yoongi doesn’t really worry too much with
him. He’s just himself.

Yoongi doesn’t know if he’s decided to take this show seriously for what it is yet. It might be
something he makes a stance on when he has time to himself to think about it. For right now,
he doesn’t want to think about anything other than enjoying his time with Hoseok. Whatever
happens next has no effect on how much fun he’s having right now.

They have a moment that Hoseok is able to put it into words better than Yoongi would have.
“This is actually happening, isn’t it?”

“It’s fucking wild, huh?” Yoongi responds.

“You’re pretty cute, Min Yoongi,” he says softly, looking at him in a way that no one has ever
looked at him before.

“You’re not so bad yourself, Jung Hoseok.”

Chapter End Notes

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 idk i can't come up with a chapter name come back to me in a
few minutes
Chapter Summary

“I’m about to die,” Yoongi says.

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

{{

(The Bachelor: Boys Will Be Boys SK Interview Kim Namjoon #5)

I can’t actually cook. I think that was made clear last night. A few of the guys decided to
make dinner for everyone and I thought that was the nicest thing, but it wouldn’t have felt
right for me to just sit and wait, so I tried to help. I really can’t cook though. That was made
clear. Everyone kind of laughed at me. Jimin had to show me how to chop an onion. I think
they humored me, but nothing got burned so that’s what matters, right?

Jin— or, uh Seokjin, he was the one who did most of the cooking. I think he wanted to yell at
me, but he didn’t, and I appreciate that. I’m not very good at a lot of things.

[Whispering] Okay so I’m not, uh, I‘m not one of those types to talk about people behind
their back, but everyone in the house ate dinner last night but there were like five guys that
didn’t help cook and also didn’t help do the dishes. Who does that? If you didn’t help cook,
you do the dishes, like that’s just an unspoken rule? Jin—I mean Seokjin nicknamed them the
“baby eaters.” He’s really funny, I think there are a lot of guys that I’m worried about
competing against and he’s one of them. He’s just… well. It’s hard to compete against a
bunch of guys who are all great. None of us are really, I mean, I guess we’re making friends
with each other, but there’s still that thing in the back of your mind, like, as cool as this guy
is, we’re pitted against each other.

We got the group date card just as we were finished eating last night. I’m going on the group
date, so are Jin—I mean Seokjin [Why do you keep doing that Namjoon?] , Taehyung, uh,
that guy that no one likes, a few others, but I can’t really remember. I can’t believe I have to
wait until tomorrow to go on the date! Why did they have to give the card to us so soon, I just
want to do it today! It’s torture.

I’m a little disappointed to be going on a group date, but I’d rather that than not go on a date
at all. I think the only way to stay on week by week is to have that time with him, because he
can only keep so many people so if you don’t get your time with Yoongi, he won’t have a
reason to keep you. Any time at all is better than none.
 What is there to say about Hoseok…? He got in pretty late last night. We didn’t see Yoongi
come back for whatever reason, but Hoseok was… well he looked really happy. That’s good
for him, I mean that genuinely, but jealousy is a real thing they don’t tell you about. He had
this really ugly sweater though and I could have sworn that I remember him dressed really
well that morning? It was really late; I didn’t get to ask him what they did on their date. He
got taken somewhere to do interviews and I guess take pictures, so no one has been able to
talk to him today. They must have gone somewhere great if he was that happy. Or maybe
Yoongi just makes people happy… I guess I’ll just have to wait until tomorrow.

**Notes from the director: I really wish that other guy hadn't dropped out of the show so I
could be saved from the boredom I get out of Namjoon.

}}

Hoseok wakes up feeling very cozy indeed. The lights are still off in the room and someone
is lightly snoring, so obviously that person is not Yoongi’s soulmate. He’s not used to this
room, so he has to search his head around for several moments to look for the clock. When he
finds the time, he determines that he should probably go back to bed, but the feeling in his
stomach isn’t going to allow that. It’s the feeling you get when you’ve got a big test coming
up and your nerves are shaking you, except the nerves are due to something else. Something
much better than a test.

He rolls over, curling into himself to think about that date. It was already two days ago, but it
feels like it was yesterday and will always be yesterday. Yoongi made him feel like he could
fly. Dreaming about him just now proved that he can fly.

He’s got all those new crush feelings mixed with something a little bit more real. It’s not just
a new crush, it was a date, and it went really goddamn well. It’s the kind of date that they
write songs about. Hoseok hums a little bit to himself, quiet enough not to wake any of the
others.

Yesterday felt very surreal, something like four hours of having his picture taken and then
another five hours were spent just doing interview after interview saying all of the same
things over and over again. Talking his feelings out so many times has made them feel more
real. He likes Yoongi. He said it over and over again and now it’s truer than it might have
been if he just thought it to himself. Over and over again. Mmm, Yoongi. He smiles.

There’s a group date today that he doesn’t get to go on and that seems unfair. He should go
on another date with Yoongi and then another. They should just stay up all night watching
movies and telling stories. Hoseok has never killed anyone, he feels like he deserves this.
He’s a good person and he just wants to spend time with Yoongi.

Hoseok stretches himself out on the bed only to wrap himself tighter in the blankets a
moment later. He had been inseparable from the bag that Yoongi had picked out for him on
Tuesday – a literal fucking Louis Vuitton? – and he isn’t surprised to find that it had snuck its
way into his bed along with him. It’s not even about the bag, it’s about the fact that Yoongi
picked it out. Hoseok would’ve gotten a different color… a different bag probably. But this is
what Yoongi picked, so clearly, he knows better.
He’s got the bottom bunk, above him is Taehyung. Across the room two of the baby eaters
share another bunk bed, and then in the one single bed – he said he needs a single bed for his
allergies? – is the most pretentious douchebag of them all, King Dickhead himself. Last
night, King Dickhead had told him that his cousin was royalty but when Hoseok asked him
royalty from where he said he was bound by secrecy not to tell anyone. He’s a pathological
liar, that one. Hoseok is concerned that he’s going to be a kleptomaniac, because he just sort
of gives off those vibes. If so, Hoseok had better bring his new bag and shoes everywhere he
fucking goes. There’s no worry that he’s going to steal the rainbow sweater though.

Hoseok looks up at the bunk above him, with little wooden grooves in the furniture which he
traces with his eyes. He thinks about what it would be like if he were back home. His
apartment is nothing special… in fact it’s kind of awful. The building is older than his parents
and it’s got cracks in the foundation which let all sorts of bugs and rodents in. Something, he
doesn’t know what, but something is trying to eat his couch. The fact that he has a couch at
all is a miracle, because a friend of his had decided to throw it out but Hoseok rescued it and
the couch was able to retire the folding chairs he used to use.

If he were in his bed right now, he’d have to wake up in about an hour to go work at
wherever he works this week. Last he checked he worked at an office supply store. He will
not have that job when he gets back, because he did not notify his boss he was coming here.
Oh well. He absolutely hates every job he’s ever had. It’s stupid, but he knows he was meant
for something more. Everyone thinks that, but that doesn’t take away from Hoseok knowing,
just knowing, that there’s something more out there. He was born to dance. He was born to be
known.

He hasn’t given a whole lot of thought to what comes next. If he wins, he gets Yoongi. If not,
he’ll probably be devastated but he’ll move on. But what’s next? He’s hoping that this show
gives him the right kind of exposure to make a career out of dancing. He just doesn’t know
what that career is. Hell, he’ll be someone’s backup dancer if it means he gets to do what he
loves. Anything but working in a goddamn office supply store. Or a pet store. Or an office
clerk. He’s had a lot of jobs. The longest he’s ever worked at one job was eight months and
that’s because he was trying to raise money to go to a competition in Hong Kong.

He turns around and presses his face into the pillow. Why did he never consider how he
would feel about Yoongi? How did that never occur to him? He thought he was prepared, but
he clearly wasn’t, because he’s only now realizing how much it will hurt if Yoongi picks
someone else. Or maybe he’s just worried that he won’t get to stay long enough to find out
what would have happened if he had. Yoongi said he can feel safe about getting a rose, that
they had a connection, but that can’t stop the unrest. All it can do is soothe the sinking feeling
in his stomach for a few minutes before it comes back.

He doesn’t feel this way so soon. Never. He takes ages to feel things. Sometimes he feels like
he’s broken, because he should feel things quicker than he does. Part of it might be because
he’s always so afraid of being who he is. He’s not this confident back in the real world. He
really is the bisexual guy on the underground dance scene who’s afraid of what people will
think or do to him when they find out who he is. Everyone knows who he is, what he is, but
sometimes people have things to say about it. It was only ever really bad once, but broken
ribs stay with you; the memory doesn’t heal when the bones do.
That’s probably the reason for why he usually suppresses how he feels for other people.
Maybe that’s why Yoongi is hitting him so hard. He’s finally in a safe environment to feel
things and Yoongi caught him off guard. Yoongi is so… magical. How could he not feel the
way he does?

Right now, he doesn’t feel the bad things. He doesn’t feel the worry. He just feels too much
too soon, and it’s not awful. Because Yoongi has him glowing. He can’t suppress a smile
even as he worries what will happen next. He’s scared of what happens if he gets sent home
too soon, but it can’t stop him from liking Yoongi. There’s no way it can be all in his head.
Something is there. Something Yoongi had damn well better not have with anyone else.

He rolls around for another several minutes before he decides that the blankets are coddling
him. He gets up carefully, the room is too dark to really see far ahead of him. There’s a
bathroom connected to this room, and he realizes that if he showers now, he won’t have to
fight to get in later.

He turns the light on, and he has to squint not to be blinded by it. Hoseok lets his eyes adjust
and then makes eye contact with himself. He looks pretty okay today. His hair is doing weird
I-just-woke-up things, but he’ll be able to fix that once he showers. He doesn’t need to look
glamorous today because unfortunately, he doesn’t get to go on the date today. That’s a spike
of jealousy that he bites down on.

Hoseok thinks sadly about how much he misses his phone and his own music. He’d be able
to play his music if he was using his own shower. Sure, he’d be showering with six different
types of spiders but live is about tradeoffs. There’s a radio downstairs in the game room, but
that’s not really the same thing. He wants his own playlists and his own Spotify. He wants to
listen to Yoongi’s mixtape and have it destroy him.

It seems a little ridiculous to not allow them internet aside from what’s available in the game
room on one of two computers, which is pretty limited because they don’t want the
contestants finding info about the show. Where are they going to read about the show when it
hasn’t even aired yet? Stupid. Also, two computers for fifteen people, sixteen if you count
Yoongi, has got to be cruel and unusual punishment.

Hoseok runs the water a little too warm, which is how he likes it. He steps into the shower
and thinks about what he’s going to do today. He doesn’t have a date, Yoongi won’t be here.
He’s going to be stuck in the house with whoever else doesn’t have a date, hopefully not any
baby eaters, or at least a reasonable ratio of baby eater to decent human being.

He has to jerk off very quietly in the shower, because when you share a room with four other
men, it’s hard to find a time to do it. He definitely doesn’t think about Yoongi’s lips for a
moment or two. Definitely not. That would be ridiculous.

Hoseok gets dressed the same as he would if he was going on a date, because that’s just the
kind of man he is. Even if Yoongi doesn’t get to see him today – ugh – then at least he can
feel pleased with himself. He’s not a monster, he doesn’t put his shoes on in the house, but he
does look at them fondly and tucks them away under the bed even more, just to make sure
King Dickhead doesn’t see them.
There’s a moment where he lays back down in his bed and considers again the possibility of
just going back to sleep. His eyes do feel tired and his body is going to shut down sometime
in the afternoon, he’s sure of it. However, the feeling of his stomach rumbling shoots that
idea in the foot. He can never get to sleep when he’s hungry. Worst comes to worst he goes
down to eat breakfast and then naps for a few hours afterwards. When he’s not hanging out
with The Boy, it doesn’t really matter how he spends his time.

Hoseok makes his way downstairs, considering making himself actual food for breakfast
instead of just eating cereal… nah. There’s a small clinking of dishes, so someone must also
be awake. He tries to remember what time it was when he got up to take his shower, but it
can’t have been more than about six, so who the hell is up this early? When Hoseok peers his
head into the kitchen, he sees the cutest person in the entire house. The only person he would
want to be alone in the kitchen with, honestly.

“What are you doing up so early?” Hoseok asks. He thinks he says it quietly enough, but
Yoongi’s back is towards him so he jumps from surprise. “Shit, I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine, I just didn’t hear you come down,” Yoongi says, turning around to look at him.
Hoseok has to take a second to take in early morning Yoongi. He’s not wearing any makeup
and he doesn’t have his hair done so he looks fresh, and somehow, younger than he usually
does. He looks exactly the same, but just a little easier. Hoseok doesn’t think it’s really in his
right to say that Yoongi looks better without makeup, but he thinks it anyway. He just looks
so gorgeous when he’s bare faced. His eyes are a little more tired, and you can tell that he’s
got a few spots on his forehead, but it’s humanizing.

And his hair! Finally, Hoseok gets to see his hair before anyone has messed with it. He just
looks soft, that’s all there really is to it. His hair is soft and messy. Either Yoongi doesn’t own
a comb or he doesn’t use it. Hoseok wants to run his hands through it.

“So why are you up so early?” Hoseok repeats his question. Yoongi is too busy taking in all
of the same things about Hoseok. Hoseok doesn’t wear makeup to begin with, but he’s fresh
out of the shower so his hair is still wet, and he smells damn good and Yoongi’s suffering
from that “panic gay” syndrome right about now.

“I, uh, they always have me get up early to do makeup and shit,” Yoongi says. “But they
don’t let me eat breakfast while they do it, so I gotta beat them. Believe me, I’d love to be in
bed, but I’m hungrier than I am sleepy at the moment.”

Hoseok smiles. He wishes they could leave Yoongi alone, honestly. Let him be without
makeup or at least don’t wake him up this early to do it. How long can it even take to put
makeup on a pretty face like his?

“Why are you up?” Yoongi asks.

“I couldn’t get back to sleep,” Hoseok shrugs.

Yoongi nods, as if he’s going to say something else, but he doesn’t. He just looks back at the
stove top where he has gotten a frying pan out to do what exactly? Eggs! Of course, eggs.
“Do you want… I can make you breakfast, or I mean, you and I can make breakfast, or…”
“I’ll make the coffee,” Hoseok says. If he hadn’t worked as an assistant to a realtor – a job he
had for about three weeks – then there’s no way Hoseok would be able to figure out how to
use the coffee pot. It’s almost the same model as the one at the realtor’s office, the one that he
was always in charge of keeping fresh. It was basically a full-time job considering how much
everyone in that little office building hated themselves.

From the refrigerator, Yoongi grabs the chopped-up remnants of a dinner made a few nights
ago, presumably the dinner that was made while he and Hoseok were on their date. Then he
thinks about their date and he sighs a little bit, bumping elbows with Hoseok who doesn’t
need to be standing so close to him right now, but he is.

“Are you looking forward to the date today?” Hoseok asks, and he says it casually enough
that Yoongi isn’t sure whether or not it’s spiteful. It seems like the kind of sentence that
should be spiteful, but Hoseok is either a good actor or he’s not jealous. Yoongi considers for
a moment and assures himself that Hoseok is most certainly jealous or he wouldn’t have
asked.

“Um… well. They told me what we’re doing today which sounds fun. I’m probably not
supposed to say it, but you’re not going, so what’s it matter? We’re going to the zoo.”

“The zoo?” Hoseok says, making a curious sound. That seems like an interesting first date.
Come to a place that smells like animal shit and fall in love with me.

“Yeah. I guess it’ll be a good day. Though there’s eight guys plus me all going so it’s going to
be… a long day.”

Hoseok doesn’t want to say it but he thinks to himself that there’s no way that the date today
will be as good as theirs. Not only do those guys not get thousands of dollars in clothes, but
they also don’t get to be with Yoongi one-on-one. They don’t get to hide in a dressing room
with him for thirty minutes arguing with Producer Dad who wants them to come out. They
don’t get to have dinner at the nicest restaurant Hoseok’s ever been to. They don’t get to stick
their head through the sunroof of a limo… twice! They don’t get to have Yoongi almost pass
out on their shoulder on the way home because the limo ride is too long. Those poor bitches.

Yoongi throws everything that looks edible into the pan and mixes it with too many eggs.
Hoseok leans his back on the counter and looks at him. The coffee is “percolating” – a word
he learned at the real estate agency – and it gives him time to just watch Yoongi, who blushes
under his eyes.

“It won’t be as fun as you and me,” Yoongi says. It’s clear from the air that that’s what he’s
supposed to say, and he doesn’t want to hold it back when Hoseok wants to hear it and he
wants to say it.

“How could it be?” Hoseok smiles, first with his eyes and then with his teeth. How does he
already look so bright and alert when neither of them have had coffee yet and Yoongi’s
stomach is practically grumbling between them? He almost forgets about the very hot stove
when he hears the pan starting to sizzle in that ‘what the fuck are you doing?’ sort of way. He
jumps and turns back around to stir. He’s burnt only the bottom of the food, but it’ll be
edible. Hoseok chuckles and bites his lip. Yoongi is too cute.
Both of them are already dressed, Hoseok notices. Yoongi is wearing mostly black, but today
he’s got a little bit of blue thrown in which is a nice change. He’s cute. Hoseok can’t wait
until he someday gets to see him get all dolled up in the outfit he picked out. In a few months,
that is, after he’s won the show and he and Yoongi have an apartment together. Hoseok had
convinced him into an almost punk-looking skirt. It only looked punk because of the rest of
his outfit, but Hoseok felt sufficiently tortured by it. Yoongi should not be allowed. He’s just
too much of everything.

A few minutes later and they’re sitting down across from each other at the breakfast bar with
their food and coffee. Yoongi, much to be expected, adds almost no sugar to his coffee, while
Hoseok, as to be expected, adds quite a bit of both sugar and milk. Anyone who knows how
to read even so much as a facial expression would have been able to make their coffee orders
for them.

Yoongi takes a long sip of his coffee as a way to avoid saying things to Hoseok. He wants to
say everything there is to say. He wants to talk about everything like they did two days ago.
He’s scared of what he wants though. He’s terrified of it.

Yesterday was a lot for him. He was shipped off to the city to do even more promos for the
show because apparently, they don’t have enough of those. With all of the time to think for
himself he realized that he has emotions. It came as a big shock.

He has emotions pertaining to the fact that he’s not as big of an asshole as he wants to be.
He’s got a lot of fears for the coming weeks, one of them being that he’s not quite strong
enough to resist feeling things. Wouldn’t it be so much easier if he could? If he could be a
dick to everyone in sight and come out of this show alive. Maybe he has the power to be
shitty to some people… just not to Hoseok.

What is this all going to do for his rap career? He’s worried about that more than anything.
He’s never let the rules get in the way of who he is or what he wants to do, but there’s
something to be said about reputation. There’s not a whole lot of rappers out there who are
putting their still beating hearts into the world. Obviously, everyone is impassioned when it
comes to music, it’s impossible not to reveal yourself, but putting something as vulnerable as
his love life, or just the way he feels about someone even if it doesn’t amount to love, just
feels wrong. Pop singers sing about falling in love. Rappers don’t.

He should’ve thought about all of this before he signed that contract. He agreed to this show,
he should’ve thought about all of its repercussions. His street cred is going to take a hit even
if he does manage to end this show without picking a contestant. He’s on a motherfucking
dating show, that’s just not something you do.

At the same time, though, nothing Yoongi has ever done has been to fit in. His entire thesis as
a musician has been to be different, which isn’t hard when you’re not straight. He’s trying to
kick down barriers and yet he’s such a fucking hypocrite because he’s worried about
something as stupid as people judging him for liking people. Hard to be so proud and open
about his sexuality when he’s ashamed of showing the world.

Hoseok might be no one. He might be a mistake. He could be acting just for the camera or
just for Yoongi. He’s sure there are a few people who act nice to his face but are entirely
different people on the inside… actually it’s stupid to believe Hoseok is that type of person.
There’s no way Hoseok could be faking who he is. The point is, Yoongi might lose how he
feels in a week. He might be looking at Hoseok through rose tinted glass. If that’s the case,
then so be it. But what if that’s not the case?

A lot of soul-searching last night led Yoongi to one conclusion: he’s got to give everyone a
chance. This show is stupid, but he might as well give it a go while he’s here. When else is he
going to have all this free time available to try? When else is he going to meet a Hoseok?
He’s still cynical, and he’s always going to be cynical, but he doesn’t have the willpower to
be so wholly monstrous. Fifteen people all want him to fall in love with them, and if he ends
up falling for someone, he won’t hold himself back from it.

“You didn’t tell me you were a good cook,” Hoseok says, looking way too deeply into him
for Yoongi to handle this early in the morning. This guy. This motherfucker. This piece of
shit who has the absolute gall to be so cute that he makes Yoongi soul search. I hate you,
Jung Hoseok.

“I try not to lie to people who I’ve just met,” Yoongi says, he thinks he’s gotten the hang of
having a conversation and also hiding his internal combustion. Hoseok rolls his eyes. You
don’t hate me at all, Min Yoongi.

He watches as Yoongi takes a bite of food, and then he looks down at the counter. A
daydream very suddenly runs through Hoseok’s head. Of a morning just like this one. With
Yoongi looking as beautiful as he does now. And he’s all Hoseok’s. No one else’s. All his.
And he pushes him against the kitchen counter and kisses him like the world is about to burn.
And his hands are on the sides of Yoongi’s face, his squishy cheeks. Yoongi’s limbs are weak
because Hoseok disarms him. So he has to hold onto Hoseok. The world is hazy because he’s
kissing Yoongi.

Hoseok gulps and tilts his head for a moment, as if trying to banish the thought away. It’s
okay for him to be sexually attracted to Yoongi, that’s totally fine, right? He’s sexually
attracted to a lot of people, usually celebrities. It’s not weird when he thinks about kissing
them. It’s totally normal to have those thoughts… but it’s a little weird when it’s someone in
real life. Or maybe it isn’t because it’s this show. It’s absolutely unpreventable when it’s
Yoongi. Hoseok can’t even look away from him when all he’s doing is chewing. What has his
life come to? To be so distracted by something as trivial as a man eating his goddamn
breakfast. And when Yoongi’s tongue peaks out a little bit to lick his lips. Christ.

He doesn’t realize he’s staring until Yoongi points it out. “You still on earth, Hoseok?”

“Sorry,” he says, smiling, and then shoves food in his mouth to avoid explaining himself.

“You going to tell me?”

He processes his thoughts to the same beat as he processes food. “I’m just feeling super
jealous of the people going on the date to the zoo today, that’s all,” he says. Hoseok is known
to his friends to be possibly too honest at times, so he’s always putting himself in danger with
his words. What’s the harm in saying the truth here, though? Yoongi knows he likes him; he
wouldn’t keep that secret even if he knew how to. The only way for Hoseok to stay on this
show and keep seeing Yoongi is for him to know that he likes him, so if he has to come right
out and say it then so be it.

“Ugh, shut up,” Yoongi says, shaking his head. “Stop doing that. You’re dangerous Hoseok.”

“You keep saying that. What does ‘dangerous’ even mean to you, Yoongi?”

Yoongi looks down at his food. He doesn’t want to tell Hoseok. He’s dangerous because he
threatened and abolished Yoongi’s plan not to take this show seriously. He’s dangerous
because he looks at him and Yoongi feels things inside of himself. He’s dangerous because
Yoongi doesn’t know if he’s going to be able to resist him.

“I don’t want it to go to your head,” Yoongi says. He smiles to himself and revels in their
relative privacy. There are cameras wired up in the kitchen which will capture even this soft
moment, but at least it’s just the two of them here.

Hoseok’s smile is unholy. He can hardly resist it so he puts a hand over his mouth, under the
pretense that he has food on his face, but he just can’t withhold a feeling of being special and
wanted.

“Who are you leaving me with today, Yoongi?” Hoseok wonders if Yoongi has noticed that
he likes saying his name. He can scarcely stop himself from saying his name every time he
talks to him. “Please tell me you’re not taking all of the good ones with you to the zoo. I
don’t want to be trapped in this house with that guy who said he owned an exotic bird as a
child and sold it to buy his family a new house.”

“The funny thing is, I know exactly who you’re referring to,” then Yoongi looks around, as if
looking for someone who might overhear. He knows that there are mics everywhere that there
are cameras, but he’s not personally miced right now. Yoongi gestures for him to come closer,
so Hoseok leans over the counter. Yoongi realizes too late how close Hoseok’s face is to his
when he whispers in his ear. “Between you and me, I would send that guy home yesterday if I
could, but the Producer’s told me to keep him on.”

“I hope you’re getting something good out of it,” Hoseok whispers back.

“Promo for my mixtape,” Yoongi says.

Hoseok smiles and leans back in his seat, “nice.”

“A man’s gotta do,” Yoongi shrugs. “But to answer your question, um, I think there are a few
guys staying who are okay. Um, I don’t know if I can say this but, um, Jimin is going on the
solo date in two days so he’s not coming. I hope he’s not too terrible company, I think he’s
pretty cool, I mean. Do you know Jungkook? I figured if he went on the group date, he’d pass
out so he’s going to stay here too.”

Hoseok makes a face. He has a lot of thoughts about that. On the one hand, Jimin is a very
kind and fun person. But that’s part of the problem. Jimin gets to go on a one-on-one date
with Yoongi the day after next and what if Jimin is charming? Green eyed monster, meet
Hoseok. Jungkook, he’s not sure about. To tell the truth, he doesn’t think he knows who that
is. He lost a lot the past two days of not being in the mansion, so he’s going to have to catch
up on names and personalities whenever he can.

“Cool,” Hoseok says, trying not to visibly look annoyed about it. He is a civil person,
absolutely. He’s not going to take his jealousy out on Jimin or anyone else today. He’s still
going to be feeling it but enjoys other people too much to hold something like that against
them. It’s not Jimin’s fault that he’s personable.

“Unfortunately, I have to bring D along on the date today,” Yoongi sighs.

“D?”

Yoongi realizes that he said the letter, not the name. “Oh, D is what I’ve been calling him
because I don’t like him. Sort of a Voldemort type of thing, using his name gives him power.
D stands for dick or douchebag, you take your pick.”

Hoseok tilts his head and then nods. Yeah, that makes sense. “I’ve been calling him King
Dickhead. Thank you for not leaving me with him, I think I’d have an aneurism. Did you
know that he singlehandedly fought a shark once?”

“Wow, really?” Yoongi asks, laughing, “have you heard about that time that he was recruited
to play soccer in Germany, but he turned it down because it conflicted with his charity
schedule?”

“Wow, what a cultured, generous, and talented man,” Hoseok says, and Yoongi actually
snorts, which is the cutest thing ever.

The sound of approaching footsteps halts their conversation as they both look towards the
doorway where Namjoon enters. Hoseok smiles at him, he remembers him, remembers
kindness and sincerity. Namjoon smiles at him first and then notices who’s sitting across from
Hoseok and has a moment of pause. Namjoon is not dressed for the day and his face now
reads that he’s self-conscious about it.

“Oh, uh, hi Yoongi,” he stutters. “Hi Hoseok.”

“Morning,” they say in unison. Hoseok checks the clock on the oven. How is it possible for
an hour and a half to have passed? He looks down at his plate and realizes he finished eating.
When did he do that? Talking to Yoongi is literally so easy that he forgot about time. Not that
time moved fast, he literally forgot time was a thing that exists.

Now that Namjoon is here it’s… weird. He rips off a banana for breakfast while the two of
them try not to look at him, but it’s kind of impossible when they were having a lovely
conversation until just now. Nothing against Namjoon, it’s just that both of them like being
able to talk in private. That’s why Producer Dad had to threaten to rip the dressing room door
off its hinges to convince them to leave. If he hadn’t, there’s every possibility that the two of
them would have built a lovely little home in that store.

“Did you sleep well?” Hoseok asks. That’s what his mom always asks him in the morning
when he wakes up, so it’s always the phrase he opens with too. Old habits and what not.
Namjoon takes the seat on Hoseok’s side of the breakfast bar, and all parties involve decide
this is probably a good choice. Hoseok got to be elbow to elbow, shoulder to shoulder with
Yoongi a lot just a few days ago, and it’s something he would recommend, but maybe not at
breakfast. Also, if it’s not Hoseok that Yoongi is close to then he doesn’t want to think or hear
about it. Namjoon, you’re wonderful, you’re fantastic, but if you touch Yoongi I’ll eviscerate
you.

“Yeah,” he says. “Um, you?”

“Like a baby,” Hoseok grins.

Yoongi shrugs. He didn’t get a whole lot of sleep because he woke up so early. He did go to
bed before he normally would, but he usually goes to bed at about four in the morning so it’s
not saying much. “I love sleeping. I love it so much.” He almost gets choked up thinking
about how good it is to be unconscious and not have to deal with the world around him. Ah,
that bad. That wonderful, perfect, beautiful bed. This whole show is worth it for that bed.

It’s very hard to start a conversation under these circumstances. They all live under the same
roof, no one really knows each other, they don’t have internet. What are you supposed to talk
about, the weather? The stock market?

“Today should be fun, right?” Namjoon says, looking nervous but also excited. Yoongi
doesn’t want him to feel bad, because the guy is a sweetheart, so he nods encouragingly. He
doesn’t for a second think today will be a bad day, he’s sure he’s going to have fun. He’s just
wary of being with eight people he doesn’t know, and they all want him to know them the
best. One person is scary, maybe not when it’s Hoseok, but in general one-on-one isn’t easy.
He doesn’t even want to think about how much harder eight is going to be. He never learned
how to juggle.

“Absolutely! I know it’s going to be fun. There’s a few people who I know especially are
going to love it,” Yoongi says, words of comfort not just for Namjoon but for himself too. His
mind thinks of Taehyung with his dog pictures and his caramel voice and his light brown hair
that could make any girl lightheaded. That’s probably the guy who Yoongi is going to be
most obsessed over today when they go to a zoo of all places. He might obsess over a certain
other someone in the back of his mind too. Taehyung though, what a perfect face. Absolutely
flawless. Yoongi doesn’t remember it perfectly, because it’s been three days since he last saw
him, but god, he remembers that that face was pretty beyond reason. He remembers how he
lit up talking about his dogs. What a doll, he’s going to have fun with that one.

Namjoon is interrupted trying to say something when a new person enters, by some crazy
charm, it’s another person that Yoongi both remembers the name of and likes. Seokjin.
Namjoon’s face lights up at the sight of him, though no one really notices it because Seokjin
has a face that you never want to look away from. Seokjin is one of Namjoon’s roommates,
the only one who he’d say he’s particularly close to, but at least two of the others in his room
aren’t so bad, just a bit on the quiet side. Seokjin is funny though. And charming. He’s loud
as hell, but not in a bad way. Namjoon likes it. He might have formed a bond. That’s
probably not what you’re supposed to do on a show where he’s competing with this guy, but
it happened.
“Morning everyone,” Seokjin says. He’s the only person that Hoseok has ever seen who
doesn’t wake up looking like he’s at deaths door. Every time Hoseok wakes up he looks like
he’s had the flu for the last five years and the prognosis isn’t good.

Grumbles of hello follow him and the breakfast bar becomes more crowded when he sits
down. The coffee that Hoseok had made has gone kind of cold, so Hoseok stands up to get
rid of it. “Should I make another one?”

“It would be fantastic if you did, but you don’t need to,” Seokjin says. Yoongi turns to look at
Hoseok squarely in the eyes and in those eyes his voice is saying he needs more coffee to
live. Hoseok smiles at him and starts the next pot before rejoining the group. He wonders
how frequently they can expect new arrivals, but the clock on the oven says the hour is
becoming acceptable for people to be awake. Hoseok and Yoongi are the freaks for being up
so early.

Seokjin is unbothered by sitting next to Yoongi. He just barrels right on into talking. Yoongi
watches his lips as he talks but looks back at Hoseok every now and again. Seokjin makes a
particularly bad joke and Namjoon laughs a little too hard at it. This causes Yoongi and
Hoseok to exchange a look across the counter. Yoongi’s eyes are like “umm?” and Hoseok’s
eyes are a shrug and an “I don’t know, man.”

“Yoongi!” Someone’s voice screams from the entrance hall. It’s a tone that might have just
curdled the milk in the refrigerator. They all turn their attention to the door frame as they wait
for the owner of the voice to appear to steal their souls.

“I’m about to die,” Yoongi says, looking terrified and considering whether the counter is an
adequate place for him to hide. Hoseok realizes by the look on the other two’s faces that
neither of them is aware of Producer Dad. Hoseok feels quite close to Producer Dad after all
the time he spent looking over their shoulders and being very forward with his dislike of
Yoongi. He didn’t actually seem to hate Hoseok that much, but it annoys Hoseok how rude he
was to Yoongi. He’s confident that he could beat Producer Dad at arm wrestling, though what
he plans to do with that information is yet to be determined.

Producer Dad’s red face appears in the doorway that they’re all watching and it’s practically a
scene out of a horror movie. The second he sees Yoongi his eyes narrow evilly like he’s
trying to will a superpower lying dormant inside of him to rip Yoongi into pieces. If Producer
Dad was a flavor, he would be poison.

“You’ve got the wrong man,” Yoongi raises his hands defensively. “I have an alibi. I’ve never
even fired a gun. I want to talk to my lawyer.”

“You were supposed to be in the trailer half an hour ago!” He says, and if he could remove
his lower jaw, Producer Dad would have bitten off Yoongi’s head by now.

Yoongi checks the clock. Oh yeah, that’s right. He woke up this early so that he could get
food and then go do his makeup. But he didn’t realize the time, because Hoseok.

“Whoops,” he says, smiling sweetly. It melts Hoseok, but Producer Dad gets even scarier.
“I’m going to rip off your arms and put them back the wrong way around.”

“Cut the dramatics, it’s thirty minutes,” Yoongi says, groaning and standing up. Producer Dad
begins to walk back through the door, expecting him to follow but Yoongi grabs his used mug
and instead waits in front of the coffee maker.

“I will chop off your balls and sell them on the black market, Yoongi.”

“Jeez, it’s one cup of coffee,” he says. It’s not quite finished brewing but Producer Dad just
grabs him by the shoulder and starts whisking him away, mug still in hand. The grip he has
on the mug says it’s being taken to Yoongi’s grave once Producer Dad takes him out back and
does the deed. “This is abuse, get off of me, fuck you.” His voice carries on that way until
he’s led out of the front door and then it stops. Rest in Peace, Min Yoongi, you will be
missed.

“Remind me not to piss him off,” Seokjin says.

“That’s Producer Dad,” Hoseok says. The two give him a look. “That’s what Yoongi calls
him, I don’t know his real name. He’s the man in charge on the ground. He does not like
Yoongi. I also think he needs a therapist.”

“I think therapy is surely an option he should consider,” Namjoon nods. No one has anger
management issues like that and is entirely healthy. It could really benefit him. It would
certainly benefit Yoongi in the long run.

People start to trickle downstairs. The baby eaters banish themselves to be away from the
others. What is with them? Hoseok will never understand how it’s possible for someone to
actively choose to be a bad person. Surely that must be difficult. It’s so easy to be kind to
people, it must be a lot of exertion to do the opposite.

Hoseok realizes just a little bit too late that he didn’t have any time to talk to anyone
yesterday. All of the questions about the date, about him, about Yoongi, are thrown at him
without him being able to breathe between them.

“Where did you go?”

“Just to some shopping district. We picked clothes out for each other,” he says, trying to
make it sound casual. Nobody needs to know that he didn’t stroll into the mansion with
thousand-dollar shoes on day one. If they found out, he’d probably be ostracized and made a
target. He’s always had expensive shoes, duh.

“What’s he like?” Jungkook asks. Now that Hoseok has figured out who Jungkook is, he
decides that he wants to protect him from all the evils of the world. He looks like he’d be
scared of thunder. He certainly looks like he’d dissolve if you looked a little too hard at him.

“He’s… brilliant,” Hoseok says, unable to sugarcoat how he feels about Yoongi. He knows
that the people going on the date today are drinking up his words because they don’t know
what to expect. He doesn’t want to offer up too much, because their day together was special.
It was just between the two of them and several thousand people who watch this show on
 Friday night. “I think there’s a very good reason for why he’s the Bachelor, the one we’re all
lusting after. He’s just so good, kind, funny… amazing.”

“Damn,” Seokjin says, “You already got it bad.” Hoseok hums softly. Yeah, he sure fucking
does.

Chapter End Notes

Todays comment prompt is for you to tell me what song is stuck in your head, no matter
how bad it is. As per usual, there is nothing I can do to get "Ridin Dirty" out of my head.
We have been bound together. A love story to tell my grandkids.
 Tae
Chapter Summary

I guess this chapter is just me, your wonderful and dedicated author, swooning.

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

{{

(The Bachelor: Boys Will Be Boys SK Interview Kim Taehyung #3)

Taehyung: I’ve actually gone horseback riding a few times in my life. I’m kind of a natural
around animals, I just understand them, and they understand me. I think if I could have any
superpower it would be to talk to animals. Or fly. Or any superpower, actually. (Thinking
deeply) I think I would make a good superhero; I really like helping people and travelling to
new places. I don’t think I get scared very easily so I’d probably be really good at it. I’ve
never had an arch enemy, I get along with most people, I don’t even have any enemies. There
are some people in the mansion that aren’t very nice, but I don’t really mind them because
I’m not really in the habit of challenging others. You just have to think positively.

Interviewer: I haven’t asked you a question yet.

Taehyung: I know. [His eyes are wide and full of wonder at the world around him] I just
thought I would fill in the empty space with talking. That’s what I usually do.

Interviewer: Okay…

Taehyung: Since we’re going to a zoo did you want to ask me what my favorite animal is?

Interviewer: [(Sighing). This is not at all what I thought that this job would be like. Do they
even need me here when they’ve got this guy asking his own questions?] Sure.

Taehyung: I pretty much like every animal.

Interviewer: [Why the heck did you even offer it as a question if the answer is everything?]

Taehyung: [He doesn’t quite speak slowly; he considers his words before he says them in a
warmly delicate voice] But probably elephants the most. Well, and dogs of course, but I don’t
think that counts because everyone likes dogs. Have you ever noticed how dog people are
always so antagonistic towards cats, but cat people will usually acknowledge that dogs are
good too? I have both at home, so I don’t really think of myself as a dog or a cat person, I
think I’m just a person who likes both. I used to have fish too.
 Interviewer: So, the date.

Taehyung: [Looking surprised] Oh right!

Interviewer: Are you excited? Nervous?

Taehyung: Not really nervous, but excited. I love going to the zoo.

Interviewer: I meant about Yoongi. Are you excited to be going on a date with Yoongi?

Taehyung: Of course! I love hanging out with new people. Yoongi is very nice. Lots of times
people think I’m weird, but he was very kind to me when we talked the other night. I feel like
I don’t really know much about him, and he knows even less about me. I hope today we
become closer. But I’m friends with a few of the other people going on the date today too. I
get along with Seokjinnie very well.

Interviewer: Okay, but this date is about Yoongi. Are there sparks there at all?

Taehyung: How would I know, I only just met him?

Interviewer: [Feeling a sense of déjà vu] You do realize this is a dating show, right?

Taehyung: Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I have all the answers just yet. I’ll let the day run its
course and get back to you later, okay? I’m sure I’ll find out if there’s chemistry once I get to
see him out in the real world and I’m able to spend more than five minutes with him.

**Notes from the director: okay........?

}}

“I’ve never finished an adult coloring book. Have you ever seen one of those things? It’s like
sixty pages but those pages are so detailed that it takes like eight hours to complete one page,
and that’s only if you seriously take no food or bathroom breaks. That’s not even to take into
account that the colored pencils that you use will inevitably be sharpened so much that you
dwindle down the tip to a point where you can’t even use it anymore. But it has to be colored
pencils, because markers will bleed through and don’t even get me started on crayons, the tip
is just way too thick to actually get in between the lines, because adult coloring books have
such narrow lines. It gives me anxiety. I have three adult coloring books at home because
sometimes I see one and I’m like, ‘oh that looks cool’ because it’ll have some sort of cool
theme to it, like Ancient Greece or your favorite show, but no, it’s just sixty pages of way too
much. And the books, they all sit in corners of my room looking neglected because I started a
page, spent like four hours on it and all I even got done was the sky. Sometimes I just feel
like life is futile,” Taehyung says.

“I think I just aged four years,” Yoongi replies.

“I’m sorry. I have a lot of thoughts.”

“No, it was fascinating. But you really nailed down an anxiety I never knew I had and now
I’m terrified of adult coloring books.”
“I finished an adult coloring book once,” D says, and somehow, out of all the lies that this
guy has told, including the one about being able to talk to dolphins, this lie is the most
absurd.

“Are you sure that wasn’t a children’s coloring book?” Namjoon asks. He doesn’t mean for it
to sound snarky, but it does.

“It was definitely for adults.” Why does that make it sound like he did a coloring book of
porn? Do they make those? Is there a market for that? That’s the kind of thing Yoongi would
give as a novelty gift, but he’d grow too fond of it and keep it for himself. Then he’d leave it
on his coffee table as a gag to make all his guests uncomfortable when they come over. A bit
of light reading, my good friend?

“Okay,” Namjoon says, not even bothering to try to argue with someone as ridiculous as him.
D only has one ally on this date, who goes by the name of E. He probably has another name
besides that but it’s not important. Yoongi has discovered something very interesting which is
that he never actually has to know the names of people who he’s going to send home. The
only names he has to say are those who he gives roses to. So, E will forever remain just that:
E.

Seokjin’s face has been all squished up in confusion for at least five minutes. He turns to
Namjoon to say, “what does this have to do with giraffes?” Namjoon looks at the giraffe
exhibit which somehow prompted the existential crisis. Namjoon shrugs.

“You know,” Yoongi says. “That giraffe’s neck is almost as long as my dick.” Only Seokjin
laughs at his joke, though he knows it would’ve killed if Hoseok was here. D opens his
mouth, probably to say that his dick is actually the same length as the giraffe’s neck, but
Yoongi doesn’t wait to hear it, “who likes lions?”

“I love lions,” Taehyung says wistfully. Yoongi just wants to pat him on the head. He almost
says out loud that he wants Taehyung’s voice to tuck him into bed, but his filter manages to
prevent those words from actually forming. Yoongi leads him away to go see the lions and
it’s precious.

“This is boring, all we’re doing is just looking at animals. Isn’t there something else to do?”
D asks.

“Well… we’re at a zoo,” Seokjin says. Yoongi has walked away before he can hear what D is
saying, and it’s to D’s benefit, because who would want to give him a rose if they heard how
much shit he talks? “What do you think they should add, swimming with sharks?” Feeding
the sharks a certain someone…?

“I don’t really believe in zoos. All animals deserve rights and respect-”

“I saw you eat steak off a Styrofoam plate using plastic cutlery, your moral compass has a
certain set of limits that I think are cause for you to dismount your high horse; if there is a
God and he has mercy, it will incline you to shut up,” Seokjin says. “I’m going to look at the
lions now.”
D stands there open mouthed, and Namjoon, who of course waited for Seokjin, has his mouth
a little aghast too. “You could at least get him an ice pack.” Seokjin just laughs and puts his
arm around Namjoon’s shoulder in a totally friendly and platonic way but it gives Namjoon
jitters.

D follows after, catching up with the rest of the group, absolutely fuming. He goes to talk to
his ally, E, and explains what Seokjin just said to him and the two of them gossip about it like
preteens. E doesn’t really stand for anything but it could theoretically be an abbreviation for
Ew. Douchebag and Ew, coming to a theater near you. What a joyous occasion, it even
rhymes!

Namjoon is one of the first people to find alone time with Yoongi. Producer Dad has
encouraged the contestants to all try to steal him away for a few minutes and Namjoon gets
that time while they’re walking between exhibits from one big cat to a different type of big
cat.

“Okay, but aren’t you like low key kind of rich?” Yoongi asks, a judgmental disbelief in his
tone. Namjoon is talking about how he’s not content with his job and Yoongi doesn’t know
how to wrap his head around the idea of someone having lots of money but not being happy.
Yoongi has come to believe in his life that money is the most important thing ever, besides
maybe love and respect.

“I wouldn’t say rich,” Namjoon makes a face.

“That sounds like something a rich person would say. You own that watch and I honestly
don’t even think it’s a flex, I think you just wear that watch.”

“Well, income or not, that doesn’t mean I actually want to stay in an office for the rest of my
life. I think I’m slowly being corroded by paperwork.”

Yoongi makes a face, “man, I hear you, but if I had a reasonable salary, it would be hard for
me to give that up for something uncertain like what I do. Don’t get me wrong, that doesn’t
mean that I don’t think you could do it, or that I don’t think you’re talented, I just feel like, if
I had job and money security… ugh, it’s hard. I want to say, ‘hey stay at your high paying
job,’ but then I think about what I would personally do if I actually did have a job like that
and I think I’d hate myself.” Yoongi rarely tries to be philosophical so Namjoon is fucking
him up a little bit.

Namjoon smiles and Yoongi notices his dimples and it physically wounds him. Namjoon’s
dimples have caused a rupture in some organ and now Yoongi is going to die. “I’ve spent a
large portion of my life following my parents’ dreams, and there’s something about this
show, throwing everything into the wind or maybe just hitting pause on the real world, that’s
making me feel like I’m dishonoring myself by being a Suit in corporate office. I guess
maybe when I hit play I want to be more of myself and less of a guy just trying to make
money.”

Yoongi sighs, “Well, you’ve convinced me. Burn everything behind you and ride that fire into
the charts. You want to write music, right? Do you sing or-”
Namjoon laughs, “when I sing in the shower, my next-door neighbor calls the police to report
a murder.”

“That’s fair.”

“I think I could be a rapper… It’s always gross when someone is like ‘oh, I write poetry’ but
I do write poetry, so I guess that makes me gross.”

“You know who else writes poetry?” Yoongi says and then makes an amused face as they
both look over to spot D who seems to be explaining planetary orbit to Taehyung.

“No, he’s merely a vessel for the Gods to write poetry through. His talents far exceed any
earthly skill.”

“Fuck, you’re right. I’m so sorry, that was so disrespectful of me.”

A little later on, when D gets his alone time with Yoongi, his opening line is to talk shit.
There’s a big difference between what Yoongi has shared with some contestants over the
behavior of D, but it’s another to directly go up to Yoongi to say Seokjin is an asshole. One of
those things is not appreciated by Yoongi in the slightest.

“That guy… what’s his name? Jin…? He’s kind of an asshole. He was very rude to me and
said something super shitty. I just think you ought to know what kind of guy he really is.”

“Oh, I’m sure you just misinterpreted him,” Yoongi says, knowing without a doubt that D
didn’t misinterpret anything at all.

“No, um, he legit told me to shut up!” D says, and he says it like what he’s saying is
scandalous, but Yoongi just blinks back at him.

“It was probably just a joke.”

“It was not a joke, it was hurtful and rude.” Aw, poor baby.

“You’re a big boy, you’ll get over it,” Yoongi says, smiling plastically.

“This is a serious issue, Yoongi!” D tries to say, but Yoongi doesn’t let him breathe. If it
weren’t for the fact that D only talks about himself, makes up ridiculous lies and is an all-
around unkind person, Yoongi might actually listen to what he’s saying. He might give this
poor bitch a chance. But it’s very hard to have sympathy when he’s everything that he is. No
one is willing to directly say his name when they’re discussing douchebags, but pretty much
everyone has made a vague reference about him. So many people have issues with D, and yet
D is the only person who’s trying to claim that there’s something up with Seokjin? It’s fishy,
for certain.

“It is, I know. However, I wasn’t there to hear it. I really just don’t believe that Seokjin is the
kind of person who would say anything rude to someone on purpose. He’s just not that type
of guy. I have no doubt that you misread what he was trying to say, he’s a very sarcastic
person so it was probably just that. Don’t worry about it, no marks or bruises. You’ll move
on!” It’s solid life advice so Yoongi doesn’t feel too terrible about saying it to D. D just draws
his eyebrows together and melts off to go talk to E about it.

For a little while, they just wander. At some point, the zoo becomes a flower garden instead
of a zoo, but that’s okay, because Yoongi likes flowers too. Yellow isn’t his favorite color, but
it is his favorite color of flower, so he stops to read the placards of some of a particular set of
yellow flowers as he tries to determine if they are easy enough maintenance for him to grow
back home. He is father to a few houseplants, but he’s never managed to keep flowers alive
for very long.

“I’m allergic to flowers,” says someone who is of not enough importance to have a name.
Yoongi nods like he’s listening, but he doesn’t actually care that much. He spies Seokjin and
Namjoon joking and laughing about something and it’s quite nice. Feels a little bit like a
scene from a movie as he watches something begin in the two of them. He wonders whether
he’ll even have to worry about leading either of them on. It’s almost impossible to prevent
himself from thinking about Hoseok, especially when he sees yellow daffodils which
somehow look like him. Maybe it’s because daffodils are vibrant yellow and look as though
they’re reaching out towards the sun. Hoseok’s favorite color is green, the green stems of the
flowers hold him up like some goddamn metaphor.

Around them are cherry blossom trees, not in bloom. They’re not as impressive in the
summer, green and sparse, but being surrounded by things besides streetlamps and buildings
is always a little bit rejuvenating. Even if it’s just trees that aren’t in bloom, it’s nice to
remember that nature is stronger than human.

“I think I’m boring,” Taehyung says, looking down. “My favorite flowers are just roses.”
Yoongi turns to look at him to see that he has a legitimate look of sadness in his face. How on
earth could this guy, of all people on the planet, think himself boring?

“That’s alright,” Yoongi says. “There's a reason for why roses are popular. That’s the thing
about popularity, it got that way for a reason. Roses are pretty and that’s why people like
them.”

“Yeah,” he says with his stupidly sexy voice. He supposes if Taehyung were a flower, he
would be a rose. There’s something about him that’s very classic.

Yoongi gets an idea. A very meddlesome idea. He grins just a little bit and then ushers
Taehyung to follow him away from the group. He wanders around for a little while as he
searches for the roses. They have to be here somewhere surely. When at last he finds them, he
does the look over his shoulder which tells everyone, especially the cameraman, that he’s
about to do something wrong.

Ignoring the DO NOT PICK THE FLOWERS sign, which is written in four different
languages, Yoongi plucks a red rose from a bush, sort of a runt of the litter type. He pricks
himself just a little bit, but the moment is too perfect for him to care. He offers the rose to
Taehyung and says, “Taehyung, will you accept this rose?”

“Are you serious?” He looks shocked. On the group dates, Yoongi is supposed to give a rose
out to someone before the date is over. On the American version of the show, they give roses
out on solo dates too, but for whatever dramatic purpose, he doesn’t get to do that. So,
Taehyung has earned this first rose of the week, and Yoongi smiles brightly back at him as
that fact sinks into him.

“Yes, I will absolutely accept it,” he says, and Yoongi feels like a really amazing person. The
look of happiness on his face is insurmountable, and he gives him a side hug very briefly.

From somewhere, a very annoyed voice says, “we have a rose on standby, he could’ve just
asked for that instead of vandalizing the garden.” Good ole Producer Dad, quite the hopeless
romantic at heart.

“Cool,” Yoongi grins and he gestures for them to return to the group. He wonders how many
of the other guys witnessed what just happened and if they’re going to be jealous about it.
Yoongi hasn’t gotten much of a chance to see how they acted after Jimin got the first
impression rose, but he’s worried that it wasn’t a positive reaction. Now, he’s concerned over
the same thing with Taehyung.

“This is so much better than being stuck in the mansion,” Taehyung says, voice getting weak
from excitement. Yoongi just about squeals at how cute he is.

Meanwhile, back at the mansion: “Do you think birds know they’re birds?” Jungkook asks.

“In what way? I think they probably know that they’re not humans or worms,” Jimin says.

“I mean, like, do you think they know how cool it is that they can fly? Do you think they ever
see things that can’t fly and they’re like ‘lol sucks to be you’?” Jungkook clarifies.

Hoseok says, “I certainly think that some birds are aware of that. I feel like crows know
what’s up, but woodpeckers can’t do basic arithmetic.”

“Huh,” Jungkook says. “Really makes you think.”

After a brief intermission in the flower garden, they get back to the part of the zoo with the
actual animals. Yoongi’s conversations are far more fruitful than the bird talk. He gets a little
bit of time at each exhibit to really talk to each guy on the date. Some whom he’d really
rather not have to talk to. Obviously, Yoongi is referring to D, what an annoying bastard. He
narrows his eyes when he remembers that he has to keep this human Swine Flu on the show
for another week or maybe even more. Ugh.

“I often have self-doubt, everyone does, right? That’s just being a human,” Yoongi admits to
Seokjin. “Like, I’m a rapper, but no one has ever heard of me. It makes me wonder if I
deserve to be known or if I’m actually just kidding myself. Like, I think I’m good, and with
all of the musicians that I look up to, as pretentious as it sounds, I think I hold up. But I also
know I’m biased. Every type of art ever made will be most loved and most criticized by its
creator.”

“It’s hard when you can’t see something through someone else’s eyes, right? I told you I’m
an actor, but I’m not a successful one. It’s impossible to know how I’m perceived by other
people, but god, isn’t that what everyone wants the most? To know what other people think?
That’s why every time someone gives you multiple choice for what superpower you want,
mind reading is always an option. But no one ever chooses it because, while we all want it, I
think everyone is a little bit terrified of knowing what other people think.”

“I wonder how I come across on the camera for this show. I think I’m kind of an asshole.”

“You’re not an asshole to me,” Seokjin says.

“I actively try to be nice to you all, but I feel like to the camera I come across as an asshole. It
was intentional at first, but now I’m starting to realize that people won’t know that I’m
pretending. Because I don’t see myself as a bad person, but I do pretend to be one
sometimes.”

“Well, first of all, there are some people who you don’t need to be nice to,” Seokjin says, and
he raises an eyebrow but doesn’t say the name. It’s not very nice to shit talk someone like that
someone did about Seokjin. Yoongi had quite enjoyed talking shit about D with Hoseok, but
Hoseok has a different set of rules. “But I don’t think that how you talk to the camera one-on-
one is nearly as important as how you engage with other people. Well, I don’t know. I guess it
is important in both mediums, but most of how your perceived is how you are with other
people in real life, right? I don’t watch a lot of reality TV so I don’t actually know how big of
an impact it is the other way.”

“It is weird. Having all of your thoughts and interactions caught on tape,” Yoongi says,
looking down at the microphone attached to the top of his shirt. “And then having to
monologue about it. I don’t usually do that, no one does! I think maybe that’s why I feel like
an asshole here, because usually, whatever not so nice things I think are all in my head, never
said out loud.”

“I think I probably come across as arrogant and in love with myself. But that’s okay, because
I’m pretty great and everyone should love me.”

“There it is,” Yoongi laughs. He quite likes talking to Seokjin. He’s a very easy person to talk
to, easier than probably anyone else in the mansion save Hoseok. He’s just so unreserved
with who he is. He kind of just smacks you in the face with his personality and makes you
laugh like it’s second nature. Also, his laugh is something to be worshipped. He can tell the
worst joke in the world but it’s funny because Seokjin’s laughter is so contagious that it can
make anything the funniest thing you’ve ever heard.

Others have great personalities that just aren’t as obvious. Taehyung is probably the weirdest
person Yoongi will ever meet but he’s also the sweetest. That’s why he earned himself a rose
without even having a full conversation with Yoongi yet. Taehyung is so intrinsically good
that it’s impossible not to feel it.

When at last he finally gets his free time with Taehyung, he feels like he’s just had a cup of
warm soup. Taehyung’s face is unapologetic in beauty. You couldn’t stop him from being a
wide-eyed puppy if you tried. He’s still holding the rose Yoongi gave him like it’s his most
prized possession and it makes Yoongi feel even softer towards him. He wishes he had hours
to spend with him, just hearing Taehyung’s voice and his strange thoughts.
“I didn’t really have lots of friends back in school. It’s not that people didn’t like me, I just
didn’t relate to a lot of other people enough for them to consider me their friend,” Taehyung
says. They’re in a different part of the zoo now, no longer in the ‘safari’ part. Taehyung has
been bonding with a penguin behind a glass wall, enough so that Yoongi wonders if they’re
small enough to steal using a bag from the gift shop. The though consumes him for a
moment. Taehyung is the kind of guy you steal a penguin for.

“I’m sorry,” Yoongi says. How stupid do you have to be not to appreciate him?

“I don’t think it’s a bad thing. I got along with lots of people. People were never mean to me;
they just didn’t really bring me into any circles. I have lots of friends now, though. People
just think I’m strange, so I guess it’s hard to get close.”

“Well no one wants to be normal,” Yoongi says. “No one is out here in the grind trying to go
unnoticed. Some people think that’s what they want but I believe that truly and deeply, every
person wants to feel acknowledged.” The nature of humanity is to have attention. What’s the
point of doing anything if you don’t have some sort of validation? How could art even exist?

Taehyung nods, “There’s some element of that on this show. Not that I think all anyone wants
is attention, but there are easier ways to fall in love, right? They make hundreds of apps. But
I’m having a lot of fun just experiencing this. You’re a very fun person to talk with.”

“Yeah?” Yoongi smiles. He feels very warm when he talks to Taehyung. He’s cozy, like a
hearth. That’s the best way to describe him, he’s just full of things that make you feel content.
Yoongi could easily see someone falling in love with him. Easily. He’s got all the makings of
a soulmate. Yoongi just doesn’t think he’s that one. “You’re pretty fun to talk to too,
Taehyung.”

“You can just call me Tae,” he says brightly, and Yoongi both loves that and is worried by it.
This is where that issue of him being scared of leading people on comes in. He wants to get
close to and make friends with everyone, but he also is worried that if he lets them in, they’ll
think he wants more from them. Right now, Yoongi wants to give everyone a chance, truly.
But if he gives everyone a chance then he feels dirty, like he’s cheating on everyone at once.
It’s stupid, because that isn’t what this show is. He’s not cheating on anyone, they all know
that they’re competing with each other, but it just feels ingenuine. He wants more than
anything to be genuine and honest to the people around him.

The idea of giving everyone – well except D – a chance isn’t awful until Yoongi remembers
how nauseatingly monogamous he is. He wants to be loved by one person and one person
only. He wants for that one person to never love anyone besides him, because he only ever
wants to have one person ever.

He’s on a date with eight people, three of them are wonderful, two are annoying, and three
are just there… but Yoongi cannot stop thinking about one person. One person who isn’t on
this date at all. The only person that Yoongi has met who understands Yoongi’s very guts and
bones, even though they barely know each other.

“Okay. Tae it is.” He tests the word on his tongue as he considers what nickname he’ll give to
Hoseok.
Off to the side, Namjoon, Seokjin and the others are giving Taehyung and Yoongi their time
alone. Some are using the time to preach jealousy over the fact that he has a rose when I
don’t, what’s so good about him? Everyone gets a few minutes, and hopefully as the date
progresses, they’ll all get a little bit more, but no one is pleased with the fact that Taehyung –
whose got a rose before he even got to talk privately – gets to take time away from them.

On the other end of the spectrum are Namjoon and Seokjin. “Who do I have to blow in order
to get us some food?” Seokjin whispers, looking around at their entourage which is quite big.
At least four different cameramen and about five other people roaming between them with
headsets and tablets.

“That one,” Namjoon says, pointing. “That’s the one that Yoongi calls Producer Dad. Hoseok
said he’s the man in charge.”

“Alright,” Seokjin says, nodding. “Are you an ice cream man or more of a mini donut kind of
a guy?”

“I’m up for anything,” Namjoon says, “But it is summer…”

“Ice cream, got it,” Seokjin says before he marches right on over to the Producer and states
his case. Namjoon grins widely at him. He doesn’t think he would have the confidence to do
something like that, and he’s also positive that he doesn’t have the right cadence to make it
work. Seokjin could sell sand to a camel. Hey, Namjoon, in case you forgot, Yoongi is The
Bachelor.

Seokjin succeeds in scoring the entire party ice creams and Yoongi decides in that moment
that Seokjin has won third place in his heart, Taehyung having absolutely smashed his way
into second. The gap between first and second place is close to exponential, but the gap
between second and third isn’t so bad, so he’s still got a lot going for him.

Seokjin is winning a lot of hearts today apparently.

Everyone takes a seat on the curb of the sidewalk. Speed is of great importance because the
sun is succeeding in melting ice cream all down Yoongi’s wrist. Life is a struggle sometimes,
you just got to take the hits as they come, even if that means ice cream is your new
moisturizer. Luckily, Yoongi sits between Taehyung and Seokjin so he doesn’t have to look at
D’s fucking face.

Even Producer Dad doesn’t look too upset because he’s got himself a vanilla cone – of course
he’s so boring as to get vanilla ice cream without any toppings – and for Producer Dad to not
look like he’s plotting to assassinate Archduke Franz Ferdinand is a feat of great historical
value.

“My mom never let me have ice cream before dinner, and she’s going to watch this show, so I
don’t know what I’m going to tell her when I go home,” Yoongi says. There are a lot of
things he’s going to have difficulty explaining to her. He sent her a text that he was going to
be on this show a few days ago, literally right before his phone was confiscated. He’ll deal
with that later. He’s a beg for forgiveness kind of a son rather than an ask for permission one.
D tells everyone about how he used to be lactose intolerant, but he beat it. Yoongi doesn’t
know if the truth is that he’s never been lactose intolerant at all or if he is currently lactose
intolerant which will make everyone want to avoid him afterwards. Either way, it’s not the
most impressive of his lies. I mean, jeez, this is a guy who scaled Mount Everest, sensitivity
to dairy just isn’t going to cut it.

The next stop on their trip, according to the map that Yoongi is trying not ruin with dripping
cookies ‘n cream, is the aquatic animals. “This might sound awful,” Yoongi whispers to
Seokjin, “But whenever I go into the aquarium part of the zoo, I get hungry.”

Seokjin snorts and accidentally smashes his nose into the ice cream. He turns to look at
Yoongi as if he’s in disbelief. “Oh my god, I get why people might see you as an asshole.”

“It was too much?” Yoongi asks.

“No, it was fantastic, but I hope the microphone didn’t hear it.”

Namjoon, seated beside Seokjin because of course he is, leans over, “what’d you say?”

“Something merciless,” Yoongi says, with a shrug before he goes back to the ever-looming
danger of ice cream melting over his pants.

The group has comfortable silence for several minutes. Yoongi is quite enjoying himself
actually. He likes zoos, they’re full of animals and there’s something special about seeing
little kids with their parents jumping for joy when they see a panda for the first time.
Taehyung also jumped for joy when he saw a panda and that was fun too. Yoongi has fleeting
thoughts of someday having a kid and taking them to the zoo, but he is too young for that and
not nearly responsible enough. But someday…

Yoongi goes to wash his hands after the sticky remains of ice cream have been consumed and
he smells things in the bathroom that he wouldn’t wish upon his worst enemy until he passes
by D who’s also on the case to wash his hands, and then he thinks, perhaps I would wish this
upon my worst enemy.

“Jin, you’re probably my favorite person ever,” Namjoon mutters absently. He’s the last
person to finish eating his cone but he has somehow managed to remain completely clean? Is
he human? How has he already managed to break his mic pack twice, but he can finish an ice
cream cone without getting sticky? Teach me your secrets oh wise one.

“For any particular reason or is it just my face?” Seokjin says. Namjoon blushes furiously but
doesn’t respond. The premise is the ice cream, but it might not be the authentic article.

“Shall we go see the dolphins? I hear that D can talk to them, that ought to be interesting,”
Yoongi says, and D blanches. Caught him! Yoongi feels an evil sense of pride. Not so high on
your horse now are you, King Dickhead?

“I… uh… well I may have exaggerated the truth a little bit,” he says.
 Yoongi warms up his game face and puts on a show that is worthy of an Academy Award. He
gasps so big that soap opera stars everywhere swoon, “What?”

“Never!” Seokjin says. He and Yoongi lock eyes and share something in this moment that’s
very special. Neither of them can suppress a grin as D starts grumbling about something, but
Yoongi just rolls his eyes. No matter how big of a dick he actually is, Yoongi still wants to
namedrop his mixtape every chance he gets. It’s heartbreaking to realize, but D is safe for
another week. He just hopes that no one will get too angry with him for keeping D on.

Chapter End Notes

Today's comment prompt is for you to tell me about your favorite cryptid or
mythological creature. Personally, I am partial to the Loch Ness Monster. And then go
over to read my Sleeping Beauty Yoonseok one shot which I can guarantee will make
you go "aww."
 Eye Contact
Chapter Summary

Yoongi is W H I P P E D.

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

{{

(The Bachelor: Boys Will Be Boys SK Interview Min Yoongi #15)

I’m not unlucky in love. I just don’t think I was made to love anyone until I fall in love with
the one. I’ve tried… God knows I’ve tried. I wouldn’t necessarily say I’m desperate to be
loved but… well no, I’m desperate. I’m just subtly desperate, if that makes sense? I’m the
sort to go to bed every night feeling cold and lost because I want someone to be next to me.
I’m not really the kind of person who’s loud about wanting to be in love. I just keep it all in
and feel a little bit dead inside.

I’ve never been in love with anyone, that much I’m sure of. It just has never been there.
Whatever connection you’re supposed to have with other people, I’ve never had it. It’s
always felt like I’m just off key. Everyone is playing a song but I’m not in tune, I’m using the
wrong scale. It’s awful because I want it so much but it’s never there. There’s never anything.

I don’t know, maybe I’m broken? I know I’m meant to be in love with someone. I know it.
Sometimes I just feel like whoever I belong with doesn’t exist. Whoever they are, it’s just a
daydream, an imaginary friend I’ll never know. Because here’s the thing, I don’t really
believe in soulmates either. Yet, here I am feeling all these contradicting things. My one has
to be out there. They just have to be. [Censored], or maybe I’m not supposed to be in love
with anyone.

I guess I date men more than women, but I think that’s just because I have an easier time
relating to other guys. I think, well I can’t know for sure, I like all sorts of people, but I think
my forever is with a man. I wouldn’t rule anything out, but I have a gut feeling about it. I’ve
had two major relationships, both guys. Those were never going to go anywhere, and I think I
knew that early on, but I always thought, maybe if I stick with it, maybe if I push myself
harder, I’ll find love there. Obviously, it didn’t turn out that way.

This show… well I’m here, aren’t I? I’m not sure how honorable my intentions were when I
got here, but I’m sort of starting to realize that I have no reason to put up walls. I’m taking a
break from life, from being a person in society, so it makes no sense for me to hold myself
back. I’m here with all the tools to make something good happen for me, and I’m going to
start using them.
I… there’s one person so far. It could just be jitters. It could be anything before it’s feelings.
But then again, maybe it is feelings. He’s just so, [censored] I don’t know the words for him.
I could just be kidding myself because I want so desperately to be in love. Or maybe he’s
special. Maybe he’s everything. Maybe he’s nothing. [Censored].

Everyone is so gorgeous. They’re all so pretty. But this one… he’s prettier than the others.
His smile is so bright, and his eyes always seem to be smiling too. I don’t even think it’s fair
for anyone to be that dazzling, or to have that sort of charm to them. We have such a good
time together. I cannot even begin to describe it. He just makes me laugh and makes me feel
comfortable. It feels natural to be with him even though this show doesn’t feel very natural.

A lot of these men I could see falling in love with, or at least, I see how someone might fall in
love with them. Just maybe not me. But there are so many wonderful people living in this
mansion and it doesn’t seem fair that they’re all competing over me. It feels less fair to them
that I’ve already singled out one. It makes it all that much harder for the others to have a
chance. He’s just… I don’t know. I think I have to focus in on one person because my brain
can’t juggle people.

I guess it’s too early for me to say this but there’s just something about him that feels like the
connection I’ve been missing with all of my ex’s. There is just something… something…

**Notes from the director: OH MY GOD DOES YOONGI HAVE EMOTIONS?

}}

It’s happened four days in a row now that Hoseok and Yoongi have fallen into a routine of
waking up before everyone else. One of them will make the food and the other makes the
coffee. Hoseok has to show Yoongi how to use the coffeemaker the first time which involves
a lot of looking over his shoulder and being closer than he really needs to be. Yoongi, always
the awkward sonofabitch that he is, tries to run away whenever Hoseok gets a little bit too
close. Not like Yoongi thinks any amount of closeness is actually too close, he’s just
conscious of the whole world watching them.

The group date went okay. And the solo date with Jimin was fine too. But Yoongi doesn’t
really care about either of those things, because he began this week alongside Hoseok. Now,
it’s Monday all over again with a rose ceremony tonight, but Yoongi doesn’t really give a shit
because Hoseok is looking at him over his coffee mug.

Yoongi has attempted to swallow down the fact that the show premiered on Friday. The
whole world has had access to Yoongi for three days now, but he has no idea what they think
of him. When he tugged on Producer Dad’s sleeve and pouted to pry for information, all he
got was a “go away.” That first episode will contain Night One, plus interviews of some of
the bachelors. The shitty person that Yoongi is will be transmitted for anyone with cable or a
streaming service to see. That’s just insane. He’s said so many rude things already and they
aren’t going to see his softer sides yet. Maybe that’s a good thing? Maybe the way he is with
Hoseok needs to be saved for episode two. It’s a little too soft for casual viewing.
“What do all your friends think?”

Hoseok snorts, “they all think I’m crazy. Most of them probably thought I was just lying.
How ridiculous is the concept of your friend going on a dating show? I wouldn’t have
believed me.”

“My friends believed me because of how much I dreaded this show.”

“Dreaded?” Hoseok asks, eyebrow quirked. “I hope I’m not too terrible.”

“No!” Yoongi says a little too hastily. “No, you’re wonderful. I don’t know how to explain
it.” He doesn’t want to tell Hoseok the truth of why he’s on this show. No one but Producer
Dad – and all of Korea – need to know that.

“You don’t need to explain, I get it. I have nerves too.”

“You seem way too confident to even know the definition of nervous,” Yoongi says.

Hoseok smiles and runs hands through his hair. It’s still a little damp from his shower, but it
looks fluffy and soft and Yoongi wants the chance to run his hands own through it. His hair
color suits him so well. It’s just a shade too light to be natural, but it looks natural on him. He
could look pretty with any hair color, but his personality suits the warmer tone.

“We don’t have to film anything until tonight,” Hoseok smiles at him, and Yoongi tries to
hold back his smile, but there’s something about Hoseok’s face. Maybe it’s that his face is too
pretty to look at. He has to look down at the counter and bite his bottom lip not to break out.
It’s been too long since he was in high school and was horny when anyone so much as made
eye contact with him. Maybe Hoseok is just here to remind him of how that all felt.

“Yeah,” Yoongi nods, and he grabs his coffee mug because that is the only plausible excuse
not to say anything more.

“Do I really do so much to you that you can’t make eye contact?” Hoseok says and Yoongi
actually splutters and nearly gets coffee up his nose. He chokes briefly, puts the mug down
harder than he meant to which makes some spill out and then Hoseok is snorting at him.

“I just struggle with eye contact as a whole, okay? It’s not you. It’s… you’re… I hate you.”

“Sure, Yoongi,” Hoseok’s voice is not very believing, which makes sense. Yoongi does
however have issues with eye contact so Hoseok being correct doesn’t mean that Yoongi is
necessarily lying. “Just like I’m always this flirtatious.”

“You are such a-”

“Do go on.”

Yoongi makes eye contact with him, firm, solid, oh-my-god-Yoongi-are-you-gay? eye
contact. “There isn’t a word for you.”

“Dangerous?” Hoseok says, using Yoongi’s own words against him.

“Well-”

“Wiley?” he smirks. “Trouble?”

“You’ve been collecting those haven’t you?” Yoongi asks.

“I’m just repeating what you’ve said about me,” Hoseok says. “I can scarcely even think of
what you’ve said about me to the cameras when I’m not there. Sexy? Irresistible?”

Yoongi really cannot take his eyes away from Hoseok’s. Eye contact is so fucking hard when
you’re conscious about it. He wishes he could forget about it altogether. But Hoseok is doing
things to him. Hoseok’s eyes are doing horrible, sinful things. What Yoongi wouldn’t give to
throw caution to the wind, climb over this counter right now and kiss him like his life
depends on it.

Yoongi chokes. “You’re evil, that’s what you are. Interpret however you want to.”

“Don’t worry, I will,” the smile that he gives Yoongi is equal parts filthy and sweet. It’s an ice
pick into every major organ that Yoongi has, and he is utterly devastated.

“You’re a monster, I hate you,” Yoongi says again, finishing off his coffee and then looking
sad at the bottom of his empty mug.

“What do you say we watch something or play a game while we have all this time to
ourselves?” Hoseok asks, after he looks at Yoongi for a few lingering moments. He’s sort of
obsessed with Yoongi’s bottom lip which he wants to bite at. Yoongi is so excited by the idea
of it that he feels the caffeine settle in. If it’s even the caffeine, that is.

“Let’s play something,” Yoongi says. He’s only poked his head into the game room once,
because he’s been so busy this past week. He hopes that no one comes down the stairs to
hang out ever. No one interrupting them for any reason at all. He’ll let the house burn down
around him if it means a few minutes alone with Hoseok.

They put their dishes by the sink, Yoongi promises silently to take care of them later. He
follows Hoseok through the hallway into the game room and closes the door behind them. He
knows it won’t be too difficult to find either of them if someone comes calling, but the
kitchen is always the first place people look.

To call it a game room isn’t inaccurate, but it does glamorize a bit the actual substance to the
room. It has a miniature pool table which can convert into a pink pong table if you are up for
the challenge. There’s a pinball machine, a dart board, and then two computers, neither with
internet. It’s definitely a cool room to have in a house, but with a house this big and
expensive, Yoongi would have hoped for more. An actual arcade machine or VR rig. The
room is big enough to accommodate more things, but there isn’t that, it feels half-done. A lot
of the behind the scenes of this show are not as nice as what makes it onto camera. There is a
closet in the corner of the room which contains around a dozen board games. Hoseok had
opened it a few days ago and his eyes saw stars, because he would describe himself as having
an unhealthy attachment to board games.
“Anything calling out your name?” Hoseok asks.

“I’m not really a very active person,” Yoongi looks around. “I’m not even good at video
games. My only talent is basketball, but unfortunately we don’t have a basketball hoop
outside.” He could get a rousing game of soccer going in the backyard, but he isn’t good at
soccer either. He wonders where the nearest playground or basketball court are. He could see
himself running away with Hoseok to show off.

“I would severely disappoint you if you were to see me play basketball. What requires the
least physical exertion in this room?” Hoseok says before looking around. “How likely do
you think it is that you’ll take my eye out with a dart?”

“At least eighty percent chance. If it’s not an eye, it’ll be a toe, vital organ, throat. Either way,
I’d likely be charged with accidental manslaughter which might do wonders for my career as
a rapper, but my mom will never buy me a birthday gift ever again.”

“Pool it is,” Hoseok nods.

“You’re going to have to give me a refresher of how to play,” Yoongi says, because the last
time he played on a pool table, he had to use a stool to reach the table and the pool cue was
twice his height. It was probably adorable. He’s pretty damn adorable now too, if you ask
him.

“If it’s not simply hitting balls into holes than I don’t know either.”

“Balls into holes, huh?” Yoongi snorts. There is quite a bit more sexual innuendo to pool than
he remembers there being. Sticks, balls, holes. All of these have less than appropriate
alternative definitions.

“Shut up,” Hoseok says, grabbing a pool cue and getting ready to duel if he needs to. Hoseok
is sure he would lose in hand to hand combat, but he makes a gesture for Yoongi to bring it
on and Yoongi screams internally. Didn’t he make a joke about hand to hand combat on Night
One? Is Hoseok his one and only?

Yoongi makes a gesture of surrender and Hoseok gives him a nod as if to say, “that’s right,
you coward.” The two of them prepare the table together, and Yoongi’s hand brushes Hoseok
which gives him emotions. He is unreasonably attracted to people’s hands. Hoseok’s are
strong and mesmerizing. Yoongi thinks of Jungkook’s hands which are something else. Those
hands do unkind things to his innocence whenever the thinks about them. Jungkook’s hands
aren’t superior to Hoseok’s but they add a little color to Yoongi’s fantasies. He never realized
how into tattoos he was until he saw Jungkook and now he’s becoming increasingly worried
with the sheer quantity of things that turn him on.

“Who starts?” Yoongi asks when they arrange the balls correctly using the triangle that
Yoongi knows is called a rack but that’s another word that has other connotations so he will
continue to call it a triangle.

“Cutest one goes first,” he says.

“Guess that’ll be me then,” Yoongi says and Hoseok laughs at him as he places the cue ball
where he wants it. Hoseok’s little bisexual heart flutters when Yoongi bends down to be eye
level with the table and his tongue sticks out of the corner of his mouth in concentration. He
wishes he had a camera to document the way he looks. There’s no way a lens would be able
to do justice to how cute he really looks.

Yoongi pretends to know what he’s doing while he thinks about the prospect of sitting on the
edge of this table and letting Hoseok kiss him for hours. That would be really nice. He would
put his hands on Hoseok’s shoulders and accept his lips against his or let him leave traces of
himself all down Yoongi’s neck. They’d bump noses and Yoongi would giggle. At some
point, Yoongi would probably fall back and Hoseok would have to climb onto the table to
keep kissing him.

“Yoongi?” Hoseok asks him and Yoongi realizes he’s been staring at the white cue ball in
front of him with his mouth wide open for at least thirty seconds. Yoongi is going to need to
spend some alone time with himself tonight to think about Hoseok or he might die.

“It’s all a part of my strategy,” he declares, before lining the pool stick up and hitting the ball
with abandon. As it turns out, Yoongi has not improved in pool skills in the twenty odd years
since he last played. No ball goes more than an inch in either direction. Spectators boo. His
parents hang their heads. He’ll never get that sponsorship now.

“I thought I was going to be bad at this, but I think I might look skilled in comparison to
you,” Hoseok says. “There was an arcade not too far from my first apartment and my friends
used to all go fuck around there, but none of us were ever very good at anything. Come to
think of it, I don’t know if we ever actually played pool or not.”

“You look like the kind of man who could make Ms. Pac-Man weep for fear,” Yoongi says,
as he moves to the other side of the table to let Hoseok try. Hoseok shrugs and also attempts
to look like he knows what he’s doing as he sinks down to pretend he knows how angles
work. Yoongi has separated the balls well enough that he can target a particular striped ball to
either make progress or let down all of his ancestors. He hits the cue ball but instead of
hitting its target into the pocket, the striped ball just teases the entrance and flies off against
the railing where it makes friends with all of the other balls. All of this happens and Yoongi
can only laugh to himself at the thought of balls.

“I was more of a racing game kind of a guy,” Hoseok admits. “I wasn’t necessarily very
good, but that’s what I always convinced my friends to play with me. I’m lousy at shooting
games, but you should see me at skee ball.”

“Maybe for one of these dates we’ll go to an arcade and I’ll win you a teddy bear,” Yoongi
says. He realizes it’s his turn to make an idiot of himself, so he walks around the table and
positions himself to do even poorer than Hoseok.

“I won one of those giant dogs at an amusement park once,” Hoseok smiles brightly. “I had it
guard my door from my roommates who were always trying to steal my food.”

“Do you still live with roommates?” Yoongi asks. It’s a lurking flicker in the back of his mind
to think about Hoseok either not able to have company because he has roommates, or quite
possibly, to have too much company because he doesn’t.

“No, I’m in a little pay by the month closet in Gwangju now. All my old roommates went and
got actual careers and were able to get nice apartments. Meanwhile, I’ve worked at three
different grocery stores. My resume is only impressive in quantity, not in quality.”

“That’s alright, I’ve never had a real job either.” He and Hoseok are remarkably similar to
each other. Both in and out of part time jobs, whose only purpose is to make enough money
to pay rent and buy food as place holders for when they’re able to make it big, either rapping
or dancing, respectively.

Yoongi’s apartment is pretty bad, his career brought him to Seoul which is about four times
more expensive than he can reasonably afford, but he’s gotten the hang of feeding himself for
cheap. He actually shares his kitchen with two other units, and he owns three pieces of
furniture in total: a pull-out couch, a TV deeper than Mariana’s trench itself, and a desk. He
spent far too much money on recording equipment to pay for real furniture. His building
allows pets but where would a dog even go? The left side of the room? When his mixtape
makes it big and he starts raking in the big bucks, he’ll graduate to a place with an actual
bedroom and buy himself a mattress. If he sells even more copies, he could maybe even get a
bedframe!

“Well when we have an apartment together and you have a successful career as a rapper and I
have a successful career in dance, we won’t need to worry about any of that.”

“Sure,” Yoongi laughs. The two of them take turns, but it takes until Hoseok’s fourth or fifth
hit for either of them to actually get a ball into a hole. So now Yoongi has to aim for the
striped balls while Hoseok aims for the solid ones. Yoongi basically climbs onto the table in
order to make his next hit, and Hoseok watches him, not doing a terribly good job at hiding
how he looks at Yoongi’s ass. Yoongi has a pretty great butt for a person who claims his only
real interest in life is sleeping.

Hoseok laughs at Yoongi, whose dramatic over the table shot doesn’t even get him any
points, which will not surprise any viewers at home. “Are you excited for tonight? It feels
like this is the first real rose ceremony. The one last week doesn’t really count.”

“It mostly just feels like something I have to do. I wouldn’t say I’m either excited or dreading
it.”

“Do you know who’s going home?” he asks. He’s asking mostly because he doesn’t get to see
how Yoongi interacts with the other guys very much. Usually, they just have mornings at
breakfast before Yoongi is taken off in some direction not to be seen or heard from again until
the next morning. Hoseok has wanted to plant him on the couch to watch a movie with him
pretty much every night since getting here, but it hasn’t happened yet.

There’s absolutely no way that Yoongi is as relaxed around the others as he is around
Hoseok, right? Yoongi is always so relaxed, except for those few moments where they both
realize how close they’re becoming in which he freezes up and tries to joke his way out of it.
It’s not so much a commitment issue as it is Yoongi realizing how quickly he’s opening
himself up to Hoseok.
But they’re certainly not strangers anymore. It’s already been a week and he’s a close friend
at the absolute minimum. They’re in a stage of friendship that isn’t easily comparable to the
outside world. They both know the other likes him, but they’re surrounded by fourteen other
guys. Hoseok wants to like Yoongi the way he would if they were off screen, but he’s aware
of Yoongi’s duty to be on screen with so many other people. It kills him that he’s already so
jealous. It’s not even Yoongi’s fault, but if it was, Hoseok would have trouble being angry
with him.

“I’m deciding between a few to send home.”

“Am I amongst them?” he teases.

“Well of course,” Yoongi nods. “Who would want to keep you?”

“Alright Yoongi… talk me through all the bachelors then. Or at least, the ones who are
staying, I don’t really care about the guys who leave, God bless them or whatever,” Hoseok
says.

“Really? You really want me to do that?”

“Listen, I’m trying to get you to fall in love with me, but if you choose not to do that, then I
want you to at least be happy with someone else.” It’s not really a lie. He wants everyone to
fall in love with someone, even if Yoongi falling for anyone other than him will break his
heart and leave him a ruined man for at least a year. Maybe he doesn’t want this conversation
actually. Unfortunately, he’s already said it, so he’ll bite down on his tongue until it bleeds if
it stops him from crying.

“Well, alright,” he shrugs, but he’s not about to go fawning over any of them, not when the
one he likes is standing in the room with him. “Who should I start with?”

“Start with Taehyung since he’s one of my roommates,” Hoseok requests. He watches as
Yoongi sinks his very first ball. It fills him with a sense of pride on Yoongi’s behalf.

“Okay. Tae, what is there to say about him? He’s adorable. Wonderful. He’s like…
unbelievably gorgeous,” he says it without thinking, and Hoseok agrees, even if he doesn’t
like it. He’s also curious as to why he calls Taehyung ‘Tae,’ but he hasn’t gotten a nickname
yet. “He’s full of curiosity and wonder, and he’s so, so, so weird. He’s like an entirely
different category of person. There are just simply no people like him. He’s original and I’m
happy for him.”

“Moving on…” Hoseok is already unreasonably jealous even though this is his fault. He
doesn’t want to hear about Yoongi and the others, he wants to experience Yoongi but only
with himself. He forgets to take his turn entirely and just looks at Yoongi. As per usual,
Yoongi struggles to look back at him. He’s much better at looking at people when they don’t
know he’s looking.

“Okay, Namjoon next. Namjoon is just like the kind of person who I feel like you could trust
with any secret ever. You could admit to a crime with him and he’d hear you out and think
about it really rationally. He’s smarter than anyone I know, but he’s also a total idiot. Also, I
think he has a crush on Seokjin. As for Seokjin, I don’t think he knows that Namjoon has a
crush on him. I think that he’s so used to everyone having a crush on him that he doesn’t
notice it anymore. He’s so funny. Seokjin is the kind of person who could make you smile
even if you’re depressed. Sometimes I think he’s almost too handsome. Like it almost hurts
to look at him, he’s that pretty.

“Jimin is a walking contradiction. He definitely thinks he’s cool, and I don’t think he isn’t per
se, but he’s also cute. I don’t think he’d like it if I were to call him cute, but he is anyway.
He’s a dancer, like you, Hoseok, but he’s a ballet dancer which is pretty fucking cool,”
Yoongi says. He’s really trying not to lather on too much praise in front of Hoseok, but they
are all worthy of it. These are the people he has the highest opinions of so far. “Lastly, there’s
Jungkook. I haven’t gotten to spend too much time with Jungkook yet, unfortunately. I’m
saving him for a one-on-one date. He is special, though, I can tell. He’s extremely shy when
you first meet him, a little bit too shy. But as soon as you get just a little crack in his armor,
he’s totally different. He’s very animated and very, very funny.”

“Anyone else…?”

“Hmm, I don’t think so,” Yoongi can tell he’s fishing for compliments, but their relationship
so far has been founded on teasing so he’s not going to let up now.

Hoseok frowns, “No one else? Not even a single soul?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Okay,” he says it somberly but so overdramatically that Yoongi’s heart breaks.

“Well, I guess there is one other person,” Yoongi relents.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, he’s… well he’s maybe a bit more special than all of the others, but you can’t tell him
this or it’ll go to his head.”

“It’ll remain between you and me, don’t worry,” Hoseok smiles.

“So, his name is Hoseok.”

“That’s a nice name.”

“Yeah, and he’s really cute. He’s so cute! He’s got dimples, and I’m a sucker for dimples. His
hair always looks really soft,” Yoongi is talking about him so absentmindedly that the smile
on his face is accidental. “His personality is all the good things that you use to describe
someone. Sunshine, rainbows. Hell, he’s a unicorn. He’s funnier than anyone else. Funnier
than Seokjin or Jungkook. He just makes me laugh like you wouldn’t believe.” Look at you,
already talking about Hoseok like he’s your boyfriend.

“He sounds pretty cool,” Hoseok says. He’s blushing too much, which is why he’s looking
down at the pool table below them and not at Yoongi. He would like to see Yoongi’s face as
he talks about him, but he’s just not strong enough.
“The two of us went on the most amazing date together. I even got to see him dance, and I
guess I just never thought about how some people were made to do that. Like, Hoseok, he
could never do anything other than dance, no other job would ever be right for him. I think
he’d probably be good at other things too, but I think the world would be a lot worse if this
guy wasn’t doing what he was made to do.”

“He sounds pretty great, but he doesn’t hold a candle to a guy I met recently,” Hoseok says,
and Yoongi turns red himself at the prospect of Hoseok preparing to talk about him the same
way.

“Hm?”

“I met this guy named Yoongi.”

“He sounds dumb.”

“He is,” Hoseok says, and then laughs. “But I kind of like that about him.”

“What makes him so great?”

Hoseok smiles, and then finally looks up at Yoongi. He could name countless things about
Yoongi that he likes without looking at him, but he comes up with thousands more once they
look at each other and they have some of that eye contact that Yoongi is not very good at.

“He always looks soft, especially in the morning when he hasn’t had his coffee yet and his
eyes are puffy. When he hasn’t had any hair or makeup, he still looks like an angel. I love his
hair color, all white and soft, but I wonder what it looks like natural.” Yoongi looks at the
wall instead of at him. A few seconds of eye contact is all he can take. He hasn’t had his
makeup done yet today, and since they’re not filming until later tonight, he doesn’t need to
get it done for a few more hours. He already feels charged and ready to go about an hour after
waking up, so maybe Hoseok is all that he needs to feel awake and alive at this hour of the
day.

“I just love the sound of his voice. More than anything. The way he talks, the way his voice
sounds, even just the words he chooses. If I had access to a computer or phone, I’d have
already bought his mixtape and listened to it a hundred times just to hear his voice in my
ear.” Yoongi is refusing to look at him, gripping the pool cue in his hand for dear life. His
knuckles are deadly white around it and Hoseok takes note. “You know, Yoongi, you look
like a wounded deer lost in the forest half of the time?”

“I what?”

Hoseok laughs and wishes he could pull out a mirror to show Yoongi precisely what he
means, “you just look squishy and confused, and I love it.”

“I’m usually confused,” he nods. “Whose turn is it?”

Hoseok is pretty sure that it’s his turn but he tells Yoongi to go ahead, because he can use all
the help he can get. As if to spite him, Yoongi sinks another ball, but he climbs on the table to
do so which he supposes is a point against him in the dignity department.

Eventually, both of them lose the game. It’s about an hour later and other people have started
to wake up and gravitate downstairs. They’re still doing so poorly that Jungkook comes by
and finishes in like five minutes.

“Are we… what’s wrong with us?” Yoongi asks as Jungkook sinks the last ball.

“Many things, evidently.”

Jungkook just gives them both a little tiny smile and goes back to his apple, which has
literally not even begun to turn brown in the time it takes for him to end the game for them.

“When I walked down here thirty minutes ago you still had six balls left on the table, and
Jungkook just take care of five of them. It’s actually unbelievably impressive that you failed
so miserably,” Seokjin says. Namjoon tries to set the table up again but he drops a ball on his
foot and then bounces around in pain for a few seconds. Yoongi watches and can’t help how
he genuinely adores Namjoon. How can someone so smart be so dumb? It’s endearing.
Seokjin seems to notice it too, and if Yoongi is lucky he’ll find Namjoon just as endearing.

“I think for everyone’s safety, we need to retire the pool table,” Seokjin says. Namjoon
frowns, but his foot – which only has a sock on it, no shoe to prevent damage – agrees with
this decision.

Today is easily the best, or maybe second-best day since Yoongi moved into the mansion. All
he does the whole day is spend time with his new friends. They play games, they watch TV.
Seokjin cooks with some help from a few others and Yoongi can really tell he’s husband
material. He’s an amazing cook, but Yoongi is a pretty decent cook too. Hoseok tells him that
he’s an okay cook, but if you put a decent cook and an okay cook in a kitchen together you
still end up with something edible, so Yoongi can make it work. Yoongi and Hoseok do the
dishes together and it feels very domestic. The two bump elbows and Hoseok flings bubbly
dish soap at him.

The day is nice because it doesn’t really feel like anyone is competing for attention. It’s kind
of like everyone is just being a good friend to one another and it has Yoongi smiling
throughout the whole day. It’s been only a week and yet he can’t imagine how he ever lived
so long without having these guys as his friends. The ones who he had described to Hoseok
earlier are also the ones who he becomes closer to throughout the day. There are some
stragglers on the outskirts who aren’t terrible company, M who is the guy with the tragic
backstory, and R who does something in banking maybe? Mostly, Yoongi feels a lot of
genuine personalities coming through. This day is so much better than going on a date,
because it’s so relaxed.

It feels a lot more like the show Big Brother than it does The Bachelor, but that might just be
one of those lost in translation sort of things. In any case, he’s very thankful to be able to
spend time with the guys like this, outside of having cameras actually pushed into his face
while he’s talking to someone or having to monologue diary entries to a screen. There’s still
some of that going on, a crew member will come up to someone and have them do a quick
interview upstairs, but it’s never for very long.
Yoongi doesn’t think he would ever have pulled these people into his sphere if it weren’t for
the fact that they’re all on this show. They’re all very different from himself, but maybe that’s
why it meshes well. Yoongi feels like his personality compliments the others. Obviously,
even when he’s spending the day with so many other men, it always feels like Hoseok is the
one right beside him. Often times he is. Hoseok gives him knowing looks whenever he
catches Yoongi looking at him, which is frighteningly too often. Yoongi blushes every time,
he’s already pretty pale to begin with and he doesn’t have makeup on for the day so there’s
no disguising it one bit.

Eventually, it comes to be that time of the day when Yoongi is pulled away to actually go get
his face put on. He scarcely remembers what it was like having a bare face for so long, so
when he’s sat in the trailer and powders and creams begin to slather all over his face, it’s a
sinking feeling, a loss of freedom.

Yoongi watches his own smile deteriorate in the mirror. The others are all having fun, talking,
and getting to know each other without him. Well, except for the fact that they all have to get
changed into suits too. His memories of the guys in suits is startlingly blank. It was only last
week, but he doesn’t remember at all how any of them had looked when they first walked out
of the limo. The Namjoon he knows wears sweatpants and has a relaxed boyfriend-look
aesthetic. Hoseok is a ridiculously expensive dresser, or at least you think he is until you
notice that nothing he owns is real. That shirt you think is Balenciaga? It’s actually
Baienglaca. Yoongi thinks it’s adorable. Maybe someday he’ll make enough money to buy
Hoseok the real versions of what he wears… whoa there Yoongi, getting a little ahead of
yourself, aren’t you?

The familiar hoof steps – sorry, footsteps – of Producer Dad enter the trailer and Yoongi rolls
his eyes. What is it he wants now? He already said he’d keep Seokjin, D, and M on for
another week. What else is he about to ask for? Yoongi’s soul? He can’t have that since
Yoongi sold it many years ago for a bag of chips.

“Min Yoongi,” he says in a way too formal voice.

“Father.”

“You have got to stop calling me that,” he says, losing face almost immediately.

“Are you trying to say… you want me to call you… daddy?” Yoongi makes a disgusted face
and looks at Producer Dad in the mirror. Producer Dad preys to the heavens for the ability to
turn Yoongi into stone, but unfortunately his wish is not granted, so he has to actually dignify
Yoongi’s words with a reply.

“Just call me father then, if you have to.”

“No problem, daddy,” he gags on his words and decides in this moment that the joke isn’t
funny enough to have to say that word ever again.

“We have to talk about the contestants again.” Here we go.

“We already had an agreement,” Yoongi tuts, getting ready to go upstairs to his room where
he left the paper copy of that agreement. There’s a woman putting gunk on his eyebrows now,
but that’s not going to stop him from being petty and pulling out the actual receipt.

“This is just a suggestion, that’s all it is,” Producer Dad says. Yoongi huffs but decides to
entertain him. “There were a few polls on the first episode and a few of the contestants didn’t
test well to audiences. Well, one contestant in particular. He was found to be too formal and
serious.”

“And he is…?”

“Kim Namjoon.”

“Okay,” Yoongi says. Then he has an evil little idea.

“The production team is suggesting that he go home this week for that reason.”

Yoongi nods, “I’m hearing you loud and clear.”

Producer Dad looks shocked at Yoongi’s response. That was easy. Yoongi is never that easy.
However, he’s said what he needs to say and Yoongi’s agreeing to it, so he is not about to
look a gift horse in the mouth. If he pushes it anymore, then he definitely won’t get his way.
“Great.”

“Yeah, no problem,” Yoongi gives him a thumbs up and sits still in the chair to allow his
makeup and hair to get finished. Semantics, Producer Dad. Remember who you’re talking to.
Semantics.

About an hour later, Yoongi stands in the ballroom once again, looking at fourteen bachelors
all on risers as they had been this time last week. Taehyung is the only one off to the right
side, holding onto a rose that Yoongi knows is the same one he gave to him at the zoo
because it’s started to wilt just a little bit. The roses sitting on the table beside him are a
perfect red, almost too attractive, like they’re fake. He knows they aren’t though, because
they smell quite lovely beside him.

Host Uncle begins his intro, and when Yoongi looks up, he sees that everyone looks terrified
again. Everyone aside from Taehyung and Hoseok, are all shitting their pants worried that
they’re not enough. Worried that even though they hit it off with Yoongi, he hit it off better
with someone else.

“So, my first rose,” Yoongi says, picking it up, and looking at it for a second. He leaves the
dramatic pause in the air because it gets him into good graces with the crew. “Namjoon.” He
says the name, snickering at the face he knows Producer Dad is making right now. Yoongi
never agreed to shit, he just told Producer Dad that he understood what he was saying. It’s
the little victories. Namjoon is a sweetheart, there’s no way he’s going to send him home.
Producer Dad should know that. Even if it’s Seokjin that Namjoon is after, not him.

Namjoon is so fucking cute. Maybe what the cameras misread as seriousness is actually his
immovable patience. Part of why Yoongi likes the guy is because he is reassuring. Yoongi
wouldn’t want to date someone who’s always that composed, but he wants him in his life,
nevertheless. Namjoon has to stay for that reason, and also because it’ll piss off Producer
Dad. Namjoon goes to stand next to Taehyung after receiving his rose and Yoongi looks at
the two of them. Just looking at them side by side, he knows they really are meant to be there.
They’re both wonderful. He never would have thought he’d like two people like them, but he
does.

His next choice, mostly for the sake of not wanting him to pass out, is Jungkook. Cute little
Jungkook with the face of some sort of small woodland creature in a Disney film. Yoongi just
wants to put him in a basket. He’s also quite positive that Jungkook could bench press him,
but not before Yoongi boops him on the nose.

“Jimin-”

“Seokjin-”

“D-”

“M- will you accept this rose?”

Yoongi flies through five more names until there’s one rose left. One rose that Yoongi thinks
might just be prettier than all the others. He hadn’t intended for that to be the case, but he
looks at it, picks it up and feels it as if it’s obvious. It’s completely without thorns, the
prettiest shade of red you’ve ever seen. Another of those goddamn flower metaphors.

Host Uncle says his rehearsed line again. If you don’t receive a rose, you will have to leave
immediately. Three people now stand on the risers directly in front of Yoongi, and twelve
stand to the other side. Everyone on the right looks relieved. At least two of the faces staring
expectantly at Yoongi now look nervous and desperate. Then of course, there’s the one who
doesn’t look worried at all.

“Hoseok,” Yoongi says at last. No one who has gotten to know Yoongi is surprised with this
pick. How could he ever have picked anyone else? What took him so long to actually say
Hoseok’s name anyway?

Hoseok steps down as both E and I have looks of defeat on their faces. Yoongi doesn’t even
notice them, because all he sees is Hoseok approach. Then Yoongi is just looking at him. His
world has stopped as he looks into those pretty Hoseok eyes on his pretty Hoseok face.
Hoseok is trying to have a neutral face, not to tell the camera that he knew all along he’d get
the last rose. It all comes crashing down when he stops in front of Yoongi who is so
distracted by looking at him that he forgets he has to give him the rose in his hand.

Hoseok doesn’t want to say anything because it would probably embarrass Yoongi to point
out how much he’s staring, so he just smiles hugely and that seems to smack Yoongi back
into reality. He realizes where he is and why he’s lucky enough to get to look at Hoseok.

“Uh, um, Hoseok,” Yoongi says, trying to find his voice, “will you accept this rose?”
 “Yes, of course.” Does he bite his lip as he says it? Did that really just happen? Yoongi was
worried about poor little Jungkook fainting, but he didn’t see this one coming. Hoseok. Oh
god, Hoseok. Thankfully, he doesn’t actually faint. But when he looks at Hoseok’s lips, only
for a fraction of a second, when he thinks about how soft those lips would be against his… oh
god, Hoseok. Hoseok. Hoseok!

Chapter End Notes

Your comment prompt for today is to tell me the last movie you watched. I love all of
you, everyone who reads this fic is now my baby, and I will protect you from evil. Okay,
thank you.
 Chapter Title
Chapter Summary

Yoongi’s heart stutters in a gay way.

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

{{

(The Bachelor: Boys Will Be Boys SK Interview Jeon Jungkook #4)

I’m definitely nervous. Half of the guys have already gone on a date with him, whereas I’ve
barely spent any time at all with Yoongi. Now I get to spend the whole day with him, but I’m
all alone, so if I don’t know what to say or do, there’s no one to fall back on. A whole day
sounds like a lot until I put into perspective that I only get one day to make Yoongi have
feelings for me.

I think he probably thinks I’m like, a kid compared to everyone else. I know I’m one of the
youngest people here, but I don’t think of that as a disadvantage. I think I’m pretty great,
though I don’t know how much credence you can put into my own opinion of myself.

I get very nervous around Yoongi… well if I’m being honest, I get very nervous around
everybody here. I feel like a little fish in a big ocean. I’ve always been very timid, but over
the years I’ve just gotten more particular about what situations scare me. Clients at work
don’t scare me, talking to cashiers isn’t scary. I guess I mostly get kind of agitated near cute
guys, which makes this whole environment very difficult for me. I don’t think I’m really cut
out for this. I never know what to say or what to do.

It’s been hard on me, I know it’s only been a week, but I’m definitely struggling. Some
people have been nice to me, but then there are others who act just like high school bullies. I
thought I got away from people like that when I graduated but these ones are bigger and
meaner. It’s not so much that they say outright mean things to your face, it just feels like you
can be in the room with some of these guys and feel how much they dislike you based on
how much effort they put into ignoring you. I don’t get why they don’t like me when I don’t
even know them.

I don’t want to leave, though! That’s not what I mean at all. I’m anything but a quitter, so I’m
just going to bite back on my anxiety and avoid those guys at all costs. I think I’m getting
better, I have made a few friends, mostly Jimin since he’s one of my roommates, but a few
others too. Yoongi still intimidates me, but not because he’s mean, just because he’s like the
one we’re all competing for. I think he only makes me nervous when I start talking to him, if
I get more time with him, it’ll probably be easy.
He is nice, though. Every time I get the chance, I can tell that he’s the kind of person I would
want to date. He’s really different from me, but not so much that there’s nothing for us to talk
about. He’s just different. I like how Yoongi just says and does what he wants. He’s very
snarky and mischievous, but he does it on purpose, you can tell. Sometimes I think he tries to
be difficult. I’ve seen him pick on one of the producers, but they do it to each other so it’s not
like he’s actually being mean to him. I don’t know really why he does things like that,
because when he’s around us, he’s the sweetest guy.

I don’t want to over analyze him, because I don’t think that’s fair to Yoongi. But I can’t help
but to pick up on things about people. Like how Yoongi is nicer than he pretends to be, and
how some of the guys in the house are not as nice as they pretend to be around Yoongi. Some
of them come downstairs in the morning and they’re little balls of sunshine, and then when
Yoongi leaves they turn into Mr. Hyde. I hope Yoongi figures them out before someone has to
tattle, because there’s nothing I want less than spread gossip.

A lot of us can tell that he’s picked a few favorites already. He’s really soft on Taehyung, he
always looks at him like he’s some sort of angel. Hoseok makes him come to life more than
anybody. Then there’s Seokjin, who pretty much everyone wants to be their best friend, and
Yoongi is no different. I hope after today, I’m special to him too.

I have literally no expectations for my date, they’ve all been so different from each other. I
just want to be seen as a more dynamic person. I’ve talked to him maybe five or six times in
the last week, always in passing, so today is going to be a big change. I hope I impress him?
I’m not sure if impress is the right word. I just hope that he thinks I’m interesting like I think
he is.

**Notes from the director: This is one of the few contestants that doesn't annoy me. Get me
more content of him.

}}

“Jungkook, I’ve got to be honest with you, I’m going to let you down catastrophically today.”
For their date, they have gone to what Yoongi can only describe as his worst nightmare. It’s a
cross between a climbing gym and a trampoline park. It smells like feet and the only person
more bothered by the smell than him is Jungkook himself.

Not one to let the smell of feet get him down, Jungkook bobs excitedly. He’s a far more
active individual than Yoongi, whose favorite pastime is well documented as being sleeping.
He’s a fan of other horizontal things too, and not all of them Rated R. Playing on his phone
before he gets out of bed, that’s a fun horizontal pastime. Cuddling? He’s a great cuddler.
Wishes he had someone to cuddle him though. Don’t think about Hoseok, don’t think about
Hoseok, don’t think about Hoseok.

He’s thinking about Hoseok.

Jungkook gives him a shy little smile and shrugs. “I think you’re underselling yourself.”

“I don’t know how to tell you that I struggle to carry jugs of milk in a way that will express to
you just how pathetic I am.”
“Physical strength is nothing,” Jungkook writes off. “It’s more about endurance and
determination.”

“Okay, but I don’t have that either.”

Jungkook just rolls his eyes and puts his hands on Yoongi’s shoulders to try to get him to
make eye contact, which Yoongi holds for a few seconds. It’s quite impressive if you ask
him. “I’m not going to be unimpressed if you’re not a superhero. Honestly, it doesn’t really
matter to me. The only reason they brought us here on our date is because they know that I
work out a lot. Don’t feel bad about yourself just because I might be able to do more.”

Yoongi is almost astounded by how human Jungkook is sometimes. He seems like some
otherworldly being who can do anything. Yoongi is no saint, he’s looked at Jungkook’s body
a bit too much and he knows that this kid is a rock star, which makes his lanky limbs feel
disgraceful in comparison. However, as Yoongi struggles to look him in the eyes now, he can
tell that Jungkook is genuinely a sweetheart who would support Yoongi no matter if he gets
winded going up and down stairs or not. Let the record show that Yoongi only gets winded on
stairs that exceed three stories.

“Just promise me that you’ll accept me for who I am when I make an idiot of myself.”

“I promise,” Jungkook smiles and oh boy does it do something to Yoongi’s gut. He’s no
Hoseok, absolutely he’s no Hoseok. But Jungkook has dark hair and pretty teeth and deep
brown eyes and tattoos.

The park is closed aside from the two of them, which makes Yoongi feel kind of special. It’s
also a relief that only Jungkook, the entire crew of the show, the staff who work at the park,
and every viewer who watches this show at home will be the ones to see him being as
pathetic as he is. Are you there God, it’s me, Yoongi? Why did you have to give me the
physique of dental floss?

He doesn’t know where in the city they are, but it was one of the shortest drives from the
mansion. The entire park, which is indoors, is enormous, about the size of the mansion.
There’s a rock wall directly in front of where they now stand, and Yoongi is taken to believe
that’s how they’re going to start. There are also the trampolines, which Yoongi has
confidence in himself will be far easier than climbing a wall. The problem with walls is that
they’re vertical. That’s the opposite of horizontal, ergo Yoongi doesn’t like them.

Ten-year-old Yoongi would be jumping in delight, because that little guy was always full of
energy. Even back then, he was sassy as all hell, but he also could have scaled a building on
one can of soda alone. This would have been a place he’d go to for his birthday party and
he’d have been a hit with all of his classmates.

A staff member of the park is coming towards them ominously to give them the safety
explanation and that’s how Yoongi knows he doesn’t want to do this. If someone has to
explain to Yoongi how to not kill himself doing something, then he’d really rather not do that
thing. If he has to get into a literal harness to avoid brain damage if he falls off the wall, how
can that be categorized as fun? Jungkook’s harness is bigger than his and he’s trying not to
think too hard about that one.
Yoongi looks up at the wall, he’s not good at estimating, but it’s probably about four stories
tall. What if the ropes break? Yoongi is so young. He’s never even gone fishing. He’s never
baked a cake. When was the last time he told his family he loves them? He’s been a terrible
son.

He only just met Hoseok. They haven’t even gotten to really know each other yet. He doesn’t
even know the name of Hoseok’s dentist or his favorite flavor of ice cream. Yoongi doesn’t
even know what his lips taste like.

“It’s all totally safe,” the staff member says, Yoongi tunes in only when he hears that. “The
worst injury you can manage is a broken foot, but even that is very rare. We pride ourselves
on being good, safe fun for all ages.” Hmmm. You haven’t seen how catastrophic I can be. If
there’s a way for Yoongi to kill himself on a rock-climbing wall, then he’ll find it. Maybe
he’ll strangle himself on the ropes. Maybe he’ll bang his head against the wall so hard that he
causes brain damage. Maybe he’ll just die of fright.

He’s making too big a deal out of this. He’s not actually worried about death. Not the
physical kind, at least. It’s more the embarrassment that will get him in the end. Jungkook
said they only came here because he works out, but it’s also entirely possible that Producer
Dad brought them here to watch Yoongi struggle.

“Is it too late to claim that my feet are broken?” Yoongi asks.

“You walk really well for a man with two broken feet,” Jungkook laughs.

“You’re just saying that,” Yoongi says with fake modesty.

“Come on,” Jungkook says, nudging him playfully. “You can do it. It’s not even that hard.
You barely even need to be strong, it’s all dexterity.”

“Need I remind you that I have zero physical skill and no depth perception? I’m too
incompetent to even play pool, Jungkook, you yourself are witness to that.”

Jungkook shakes his head in a way that tells Yoongi he’s not getting out of this. It’s okay,
Yoongi supposes. All he needs to do is scale the wall, and then it’s over, right? He can be
done? Bouncing on a trampoline, that’s easy. Just bounce. That’s all there is to it. But he has
to get over one wall before he can take on another. Literally.

“Race you to the top?” Yoongi jokes when they’re fully strapped in. Jungkook smiles and
gives Yoongi another playful nudge. “Jungkook, I’ve got to be honest with you real quick
before we go up there.”

Jungkook nods and looks concerned, “No problem, what is it?”

Yoongi sighs like he’s about to say something really deep and heartfelt. “If we’re climbing up
there, and you’re above me… I’m probably gonna check out your ass.” Jungkook snorts, and
then covers his face. “I’ll try to do it as subtly as possible, but I cannot promise you it won’t
happen. I can actually guarantee you that it will unless you explicitly tell me not to.”
Jungkook laughs into his hands for a few moments before he comes out and looks at Yoongi,
something like total infatuation in his eyes. “Listen, who am I to stop a man from achieving
his dreams?”

“You really get me.” Yoongi clutches at his heart.

Jungkook offers to show him how to climb the wall, but Yoongi would rather fail on his own
than fail with the guidance of others. He steps towards the wall and looks up. It’s not that
bad. He’s not going to hurt himself, probably. He’s just going to hurt his ego. What is a
rapper without an ego? Just a pretentious poet.

Yoongi gets a grip on the wall and it’s a lot more natural than he thought it would be. Not like
it’s the easiest thing ever, but once he’s literally got his hands and feet on the wall, the
monkey inside of him understands how it is he’s supposed to climb this. thing. Yeah, just one
foot, one hand, the other foot, the other hand. Not so bad.

He looks over at Jungkook, and then he looks up when Jungkook is not there. He’s got like
two and a half meters on Yoongi. Of course he does.

“Did you fly up there?” Yoongi asks. Didn’t they start like thirty seconds ago? Forty seconds
at the most? Jungkook looks over his shoulder at Yoongi and his face is so cute. He doesn’t
make any sense. Jungkook’s body says oh-my-god-yoongi-are-you-gay? but his face says ask
for your parents’ permission before going online.

“You can do better than that, Yoongi,” he says.

“Um, fuck you, this is me at my peak.”

Jungkook just laughs. He waits there, just hanging on the wall casually. If you just saw his
face, you wouldn’t even know he was fucking hanging on by one foot on a tiny little rock.
Yoongi catches up to him and then Jungkook gives him a thumbs up. He takes a deep breath
and decides that he’s going to actually give it his all this time.

“Let’s get it,” Jungkook says before he’s off again, climbing like a spider might scale a wall.

“When I played superheroes as a kid,” Yoongi says, going as quickly as it is possible for him
to go, which is at about a third of the rate of Jungkook, “I was always Magneto.”

“Isn’t he a villain?” Jungkook calls down.

“Technically, yeah,” Yoongi says, “my point is that I can picture you as always being
Spiderman.”

“I was actually Iron Man,” Jungkook says. Yoongi isn’t catching up per se, but he’s getting
more and more confident with himself. He looks down briefly to see he’s close to halfway up
which doesn’t seem like a lot until you consider that halfway up is still like nine or ten
meters. He doesn’t want to even check to see how much further Jungkook is. Well, actually…
Yoongi checks, but only because, as he warned previously, it’s a pretty advantageous angle to
look at Jungkook’s butt.
“Because he’s rich?” he asks casually like he’s not being a creep.

“That may have been part of it,” Jungkook’s voice is getting further away, so Yoongi steps up
his game, pun intended. He knows Jungkook is going to beat him, that was never a doubt, but
he isn’t going to let him beat him by a city block.

Yoongi persists. One foot, one hand, the other foot, the other hand. Over and over. He looks
down instead of looking up. He’s not huge on heights, but they’re not too terrible. It feels like
he’s accomplished more when he looks at what he’s done rather than when he looks at how
much he still has left. What he wouldn’t give to actually have super strength or super speed.
Anything to be a cooler, better version of himself.

Jungkook is at the top about two minutes before Yoongi gets there, and two minutes of space
between the two of them is something that Yoongi will put on his resume. He would’ve
expected Jungkook to have beaten him by an hour, maybe two, but Yoongi really fucking
showed up today. He grabbed this wall by the balls, or the… rocks, which is kind of a vulgar
analogy.

“Hey! I knew you could do it,” Jungkook says, and he attempts to give Yoongi a high five,
but Yoongi is both slightly too far away and slightly terrified of taking either one of his hands
off of the rock wall.

Jungkook is sweating a little bit, but Yoongi feels pretty okay. He doesn’t want to smell bad
in front of him, he doesn’t want to smell bad in front of anyone. Yoongi is very self-conscious
about the way he smells. Mmm, Hoseok smells very nice. Yoongi can’t remember exactly
what it is he smells like. He’ll try to make note of it when he sees him next.

He and Hoseok had the morning together again. They talked over last night’s rose ceremony
and the week ahead of them. Yoongi isn’t allowed to bring Hoseok on another solo date just
yet, but he gets to bring him to the group date in two days. Clinging to the top of the wall
now, looking at Jungkook, and genuinely adoring his company, he can’t help but to imagine
how much better it would be if he were Hoseok instead. If it was Hoseok, he may not have
beaten Yoongi at all. And God, just the way that Hoseok always bounces on the balls of his
feet, you wouldn’t even notice the difference if you put him on a trampoline. Except maybe
his laugh would be louder and his smile would be bigger.

“We don’t have to do it again, do we?” Yoongi asks.

“I’m going to go one more time, I think,” he says, “But you don’t have to, I think you should
be proud you did it. Not like I didn’t think you could, of course.”

“Nuh-uh, if you’re going again, then I’m going to go again too,” Yoongi says. It’s like
running track in high school. Yoongi isn’t competitive but if someone else runs around the
track five times, then he damn well is going to run the same amount. Not to prove anything to
anyone, but he’d feel shitty about himself if he didn’t put in the same work as others.

Yoongi gets a strong vibe from Jungkook that he probably would make fun of him way more
if he wasn’t trying to impress him. That’s a piece that is lacking in this almost perfect man.
Yoongi doesn’t need Jungkook to be too polite or to restrain himself from making fun of him,
even if they did just meet only last week. He’s always eager to joke around and battle.

Hoseok was like that about a minute into their first conversation, and maybe that’s why he
stands out so much. That and because he’s Hoseok. But seriously, there was barely a grace
period before they were already swearing and teasing each other like old friends. It just
doesn’t seem practical for you to walk on glass around someone new, because then they don’t
get the chance to know you as you really are. Hoseok presented his personality immediately
and Yoongi cherishes that memory of him.

Jungkook is… wonderful. He’s drop dead gorgeous, he’s funny, and he’s kind. He’s got the
best facial expressions and everything about him demands attention. Short answer: he’s
perfect. Yoongi sees all of it, and he knows that he should want Jungkook more than he does.
He knows he should want Jungkook like an animal does their prey. Maybe in another life, he
does feel that way about him. In a parallel universe, he’s already run off into the sunset with
Jungkook.

It’s not that he’s not giving Jungkook a chance because he feels a certain way about Hoseok.
He’s just looking at him now and he sees all the things that Hoseok is but that Jungkook isn’t.

He thinks all this in the span of a few seconds as Jungkook looks at him expectantly. Yoongi
doesn’t know what to do about the eye contact so he just let’s go of the wall and lets himself
fall down. If he wasn’t attached with ropes, he would die but luckily he is attached with
ropes, so he does not die. Not dying is a personal preference of Yoongi’s.

“Ah fuck, my knees,” Yoongi says when he lands on the ground and his knees buckle
underneath him. It makes him feel like a grandpa, which isn’t fair. He’s not exactly spry but
he is young. He is certainly not at the age where he will accept random back pain, therefor,
his knees buckling under force is something he’s going to have a serious chat with his body
about. It’s only okay for him to start walking with a stoop and complaining about his aching
limbs in like fifteen years, which he assumes will be his mid-life based on how unhealthy he
eats.

Jungkook, because he’s Jungkook, lands flawlessly a few feet away from him. Ugh, stupid
Jungkook who’s just casually perfect.

“I feel very inadequate next to you,” Yoongi says. Yoongi thinks he says it to himself but
evidently, Jungkook hears him and then scoffs. He helps Yoongi up, and Yoongi wipes the
sweat from his forehead. He takes a little bit of makeup with it, which he can tell because
now his shirt sleeve is messy. He decides not to care, because he’s not particularly ashamed
of his bare face to begin with. He does like the illusion that he doesn’t have acne, but he’s not
humiliated by the fact that he does.

“What are you good at? Really, really good at. Better than anyone you know at?” Jungkook
asks him.

“I’m a good rapper. I’m also a pretty good cook. And I’m really good at basketball.”
“See, I can’t do any of those things,” Jungkook tells him. “It’s not about being good at all of
the things. It’s about being good at some of the things and knowing your strengths. I’m a
better artist than you, but you’re a better musician than me. That’s just how people are.
There’s no one who is good at everything, because that would just be boring.”

“Damn… that’s actually a really good pep talk,” Yoongi says, looking at Jungkook with
fascination. He’s a few inches taller, but not enough so that Yoongi feels super self-conscious
about it. He’s having new feelings right now. Not feelings like this boy could replace a
certain someone in his heart, but he’s definitely made himself a figure in his peripherals.
“Can I hire you to sit on my shoulder and give me life advice?”

Yoongi avoids looking at Jungkook altogether for a few moments because he doesn’t know
what it’ll do to him. He’s literally so cute. He’s so goddamn cute. He’s one of the most
attractive people he’s ever seen, and Yoongi has met a lot of extremely attractive people the
last week, but Jungkook is something to behold.

“I could ask the same of you if you didn’t always use yourself as the punching bag.”

Yoongi shrugs and then steps back over towards the wall. Now that he’s done it once, he has
confidence that he can do it again. Maybe slower this time, because he’s already exerted his
energy allotment for the day.

“I’ll give you a fifteen second head start and then we can race,” Jungkook says.

“How about a two-minute head start?”

“You can finish the whole thing in two minutes!”

“Maybe you can,” Yoongi says. “Alright, we’ll compromise. One minute.”

“15 seconds.”

“50 seconds?”

“15 seconds,” Jungkook says.

“45?” Yoongi needs every precious second he can get.

“16.”

“…44?”

They continue their debate, growing closer and closer. Yoongi budges a hell of a lot more
than Jungkook, though.

“27 seconds?” Yoongi says.

“24.”

“26 and a half?”

“23 seconds,” Jungkook says.

“What? A moment ago, it was 24!”

“Now it’s 23.”

Yoongi sighs, and then holds out his hand, “Alright, it’s a deal.” Jungkook accepts his hand
and they shake. They both know that 23 seconds is not enough of a head start for Yoongi, but
Yoongi is too hypnotized by Jungkook to care.

Yoongi calls Producer Dad over to him so that he can get out the timer on his phone. He’s
annoyed as always, but he does it anyway. Hey, I’m giving you usable content, isn’t that what
you want?

“Are you ready?” Jungkook asks him. Yoongi gets into position. He looks up at the wall,
looks at the handholds which he’s going to reach for first and he feels his heart start to race in
a weirdly interested way. His brain knows he’s not going to win but the chemicals and
adrenaline pumping through him aren’t aware of that fact. His heart is actually speeding up
like he’s nervous before a big test.

“Yep,” Yoongi says.

Jungkook counts down from three and then shouts “go” with his entire chest. Yoongi is off
about a second before Jungkook says the word, but he has never in his life been honest when
it comes to games and competitions and he’s not about to start now. If he can get away with
cheating on a game, he will do it. He was not super popular in the schoolyard as a kid.

Yoongi can tell he’s moving faster than the last time, but that’s because he knows what he’s
doing. He’s certainly not moving at a pace that will impress anyone in this entire building,
but he’s proud of himself. It seems as though he’s been climbing for several minutes, inching
up higher and higher, but when he checks, Jungkook hasn’t started yet. Is he really moving
that quickly?

Jungkook looks up at Yoongi, and fair is fair, right? It’s okay that he checks out his butt? That
seems both expected of him and well-earned. Jungkook waits 26 and a half seconds before he
starts off, but Yoongi doesn’t need to know that.

Jungkook lags behind for the first half of the rock wall. Yoongi can tell he’s approaching, but
he doesn’t want to look down to see how quickly, it will only make him more nervous and
likely to slip up. He treks on; foot, hand, foot, hand. One of his joints creaks like a loose
floorboard but he chooses to pretend he doesn’t hear it.

Against his better judgment, Yoongi looks down to see Jungkook is only a few feet below
him. He’s going to get passed soon. Oh well. An attempt was made. He’s so damn close to
the top though. He is so fucking close.

Jungkook passes him only in the last two or three meters. He beats him to the top by maybe
ten seconds, and that’s a feeling of accomplishment that Yoongi will take to his grave. Yeah,
technically he also got a 23 second head start, but to finish within even a minute of
Jungkook’s time is not something to be disappointed in.

“Damn Yoongi,” Jungkook says, and he knows that Jungkook means it because he’s very
much out of breath.

“That’s my exercising done for the next three years,” Yoongi replies. He’s definitely sweating
now. At least people can’t smell you through a television screen, right?

“I actually only gave you a twenty second head start, by the way.” It’s a lie, he actually gave
him a little more than agreed upon, but he wants to boost Yoongi’s ego. He’s trying to get this
guy to like him, and if lying about Yoongi’s athleticism is what it takes, then it’s what he’ll
do.

“Really?” he asks, excitedly. Jungkook just nods. The two of them make their way back
down and Yoongi can feel how sore he’s going to be tomorrow. He doesn’t hurt quite so
much now, but he will struggle to even get out of bed tomorrow, especially since his body
isn’t used to any strain at all. There’s a reason that you can practically wrap your whole hand
around his bicep, and it’s because the act of calling it a bicep is criminally negligent.

“I’m going to go lie down on the bouncy floor now,” Yoongi says when he unstraps himself
from all of the ropes that prevented him from falling to his death.

“Is bouncy floor a synonym for trampoline or are you on something?”

“I’m on a lot of things, with bullshit being at the top of the list.” Jungkook laughs. He’s got a
nice little laugh, but it’s not quite full bodied like Hoseok or Seokjin. He absolutely adores
how Seokjin gets red in the face and gestures around a lot when he laughs at his own jokes.
He also loves how Hoseok laughs with an open mouth and his entire body breaks down with
it. Jungkook’s laughs is all in the face, scrunched up nose and bright teeth on full display.

Yoongi beats Jungkook over to the trampolines, he can hear a cameraman struggling to keep
up with him. For a cameraman to struggle chasing after Yoongi, it means someone is even
more out of shape than he is. However, it has to be said that the only thing that Yoongi will
run towards is a bed, a comfortable chair, or any other situation where he gets to lie down.

He bounces a few times just to get the feel for it. This is the kind of thing that he could’ve
entertained himself for hours with if he was only ten years younger. Jungkook comes up
behind him, nearly scaring him into falling over, but he stops himself before it happens.

“I had a bouncy castle for my birthday party like four years in a row,” Jungkook says. “This
brings back old memories.”

“There was always that one kid who forgot to bring socks so they couldn’t play, and then they
sat on the ground and threw a fit. As fo me, I was usually the kid sitting outside enjoying a
juice box.”

“Boxed juice is the most superior type of juice.”

“Preach,” Yoongi says. He pretends like he wants to jump around for a few minutes, but
eventually the sloth that lives inside his body takes over. Yoongi lays himself down on the
edge of the trampoline, which is not safe from the fact that Jungkook, who might have been a
bunny in another life, bounces like he’s got batteries in his feet. Every time that Jungkook
bounces, Yoongi gets about an inch or two of air. It’s quite relaxing actually, a very cheap,
one star on yelp massage, but Yoongi likes cheap things.

“So, I’ve asked pretty much everyone this question, but I haven’t asked you yet. Why are you
on this show, Jungkook?” It’s hard to actually look at his face when he’s playing on the
trampoline, but Yoongi watches the little blur that is Jungkook as best he can.

Jungkook shrugs like the question is nothing at all. His words come out in short bursts as he
goes up and down and up and down. It’s actually high key the cutest fucking thing of all time.
“My studio is near… the talent agency… that cast everyone… for the show… I walked by…
the sign… and just thought… I’d see what… would happen… I never thought… I’d
actually… get picked.”

“Huh,” Yoongi says. Come to think of it, it hasn’t occurred to him that other people will have
had to do similar Google searches like he did in order to even find the audition. Seokjin he’ll
give a pass to, because he’s an actor, so it makes sense that he’d end up on the show, and D
probably thinks appearing on TV is a gift to humanity, but Yoongi wonders what search
results led people like Hoseok or Jimin to this point.

“As you might… have noticed… I get… well… I’m a nervous person… I didn’t really…
account for that… when I actually applied.”

“You’re only shy on the outside. Like an egg. Very gooey once you’re cracked,” Yoongi says
and then he hears his own words out loud. “That was supposed to be a compliment.”

Jungkook stops for air and gives him a smile that could grow a field of flowers. Yoongi’s
heart stutters in a gay way. “I take a little longer to adjust to other people. I’m not good with
strangers.”

“Is anyone?” Yoongi asks, but that’s not fair to himself because Yoongi is actually pretty
decent with strangers. He’s not super forthcoming but he’s not absolutely terrified of people
like Jungkook is. “But anyway, what’s the life of a tattoo artist like?”

Jungkook shrugs and goes back to jumping. His breathing is a little more even this time. “It’s
fun. I get to do art… which is amazing, I was always into art as a kid… but then I grew up
and I thought there wasn’t… really a career for that… until I realized that tattoos are just art
projects for big kids… I also get a pretty sweet discount for myself… But it’s kind of
harrowing too… Like, if I make a mistake, it’s permanent and people get really angry… A
waiter makes a mistake, they drop a plate of food, right…? But if I make a mistake, someone
has that on their skin… until they die… so I don’t make mistakes.”

“You have to have made a mistake before, come on,” Yoongi says, hungry for the dirt.

“I mean, yeah, but-”

“Worst one?”

“That implies that I’ve made more than one.” Yoongi pouts, and Jungkook sighs, giving in.
“Okay, I have made a few spelling mistakes over the years-”

“Years?” Yoongi jokes. “You’re like twelve!”

“Excuse you,” Jungkook chides him for interrupting and his tone reminds Yoongi startlingly
of his second-grade teacher, so he shuts up. “I only make spelling mistakes when the tattoos
are in another language… I’m not good with English or Japanese or anything… I’ve been
able to fix all those mistakes though.”

“What are you leaving out?” Yoongi asks.

Jungkook just smiles at him. He dramatically falls onto his back on the trampoline, right next
to Yoongi. It’s the closest he’s physically been to him all day. Jungkook should probably
smell worse than he does considering how much he’s been sweating, but it’s not bad. The two
of them are leaning their heads to look at each other, and in a different version of this show,
they’d kiss right about now. Yoongi doesn’t really want to kiss him all that much. He likes
getting to see Jungkook up close, but not in a romantic way, more for the aesthetic.

“A guy came in asking for a portrait of his grandma and I gave her six fingers.”

“Oh damn,” Yoongi hisses. “Maybe that guy was really into The Princess Bride?”

“I tried that. He was not amused,” Jungkook says. “But it was the kind of situation where I
just threw money at him and he went away. Still think about six fingered grandma sometimes,
though. She keeps me humble.”

“I’ll say something embarrassing to make you feel better,” Yoongi says, and then thinks for a
moment. He looks up at the ceiling, which is insanely bright from wide skylights far above
them. “Here’s one: I recorded my mixtape in my friend’s apartment because it had nice
acoustics. I only ever recorded at midday, because I didn’t want to disturb his neighbors but
about a week into the recording, I found out that one of the neighbors was an old retiree that
was in shock over how much I was swearing. She called the landlord and everything.”

Jungkook chuckles, “how did you end up finishing it then?”

“I was nearly done recording at that point, so I just hammered out the rest of the vocals in a
day and I haven’t been back since. My friend didn’t talk to me for like a month, but people
are easy to forgive you if you feed them. He didn’t buy my mixtape, though, so maybe there’s
a bit of a grudge.”

“What’s your mixtape called? I’d love to listen to it when we get out of here.”

“It’s called Agust D. That’s my alter ego, he swears even more than I do which is a feat,” he
says, and Jungkook nods in agreement. “I love how whenever anyone talks about leaving the
show, they make it sound like a prison break. ‘When we get out of this place, I’m never going
to take a day for granted ever again.’”
“I’ll tell my family I love them and cherish every meal I have on the outside,” he says
dramatically.

“I’m going to cry the next time I get to use the internet,” Yoongi says. “I never realized how
much I depended on phone games for my daily well-being.”

“You do give off some cold, hard Candy Crush Saga vibes. Are you into gaming at all? The
kind that uses more than one finger I mean.”

“I can’t play video games for shit. I’m really good at like… Animal Crossing. Things that
aren’t skill based, it’s all just me decorating and selling fish. I can already tell you’re one of
those guys who’s freakishly good at Overwatch.”

“I won’t argue with that. Though, I doubt I’m as good as D,” Jungkook says and then Yoongi
snorts.

“What’s the most impressive thing that D has told you?”

“He has five patents, but he wouldn’t tell me what the patents are for.”

“Nice,” he nods, thinking not so fondly of D, whose voice he can practically hear saying
those words. He wonders what things D hasn’t done. He’s led a very full life and he’s only in
his mid-twenties, what is he going to do when he gets older? Buy an island? Travel to Mars?
Marry into royalty? Wait, he already is royalty, isn’t he?

Jungkook stays with him lying down for several minutes and they just talk. It’s really nice.
Usually when Yoongi has a one-on-one conversation with someone, it’s with Hoseok. He can
learn everything there is to know about Hoseok and still have it feel fresh, but Jungkook
really is new to him in a lot of ways. He’s a different kind of person than Yoongi would ever
associate with. His friends are not super fit, gaming, artistic types. Mostly, he knows people
from school and old coworkers who decided to keep him even when his employer didn’t.
Jungkook is just different. He’s sporty but not in a toxic way. He’s overly competitive, but
he’s trying not to be for Yoongi’s sake.

“You don’t need to hold back your personality,” Yoongi tells him. “As soon as I’m
comfortable with someone, I don’t hold any of myself back. I’m just obnoxiously myself.”

“I don’t want you to get the wrong impression of me, that’s all.”

“How do you want me to perceive you?” he asks.

Jungkook considers. “Nice, funny, interesting. The usual. I guess I just don’t want you to
think I’m fake or arrogant.”

Yoongi nods, “then you’re doing a pretty good job.” Jungkook beams, and when Yoongi sees
his face from this close he can see the little freckle under his bottom lip that could
singlehandedly cure a fiscal crisis.

Jungkook bites his lip for several moments. He’s trying to make direct eye contact but Yoongi
is looking at the bridge of his nose and hoping that he can’t tell the difference. “Hey Yoongi,
 I know it’s pretty early on, but um… I want to tell you that I, uh, I think I like you.”

Yoongi’s eyes go big and bug-eyed at those words. Oh shit! How does he respond to that?
Fuck. That’s the right response. Fuck. This is what he was afraid of, leading people on. He
doesn’t want to lead anyone on and here’s Jungkook who is wonderful and everything a man
could ask for, but Yoongi doesn’t feel the same way. In this very moment, he wishes like hell
that he did, but it’s just not there. What he wants to feel for him, it isn’t there and it probably
won’t ever be there.

This was inevitable, of course it’s inevitable. Not everyone is going to be Namjoon and fall
for someone else. There are people like Jungkook who he doesn’t want to let go, but that he
doesn’t want to date either.

“Cool… thanks!” he squeaks out. Oh Yoongi, what have you gotten yourself into?

Chapter End Notes

On the topic of bad tattoos, I have the Scooby Doo gang running across my wrist but my
artist fucked up so Shaggy has a fat neck and Fred has Elvis hair. Todays comment
prompt is to tell me you favorite animated movie or TV show. PLEASE leave a
comment, I'm having a pretty rough day.
 Angles
Chapter Summary

I really don’t think God would have given me this face if I’m not supposed to be a
leading man.

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

{{

(The Bachelor: Boys Will Be Boys SK Interview Kim Seokjin #6)

Interviewer: How do you feel now that you’re one week in?

Seokjin: I feel like there are a lot of people here who shouldn’t be here. This is a pretty
particular environment, no one really knows what to do or how to do it, but the least you can
do is not be an [censored].

Interviewer: Interesting. [If there’s anyone who will talk shit about other people, it’s this
guy.] Care to talk more about it? Who in particular are you having a problem with?

Seokjin: Oh, I’d never call someone out directly. I’m the kind of person who will be subtle
about it, nice enough that my enemies think I like them. Sometimes my mouth is ahead of me
and I get a little too snarky, but I think far worse things than I say out loud.

Interviewer: [Maybe if I egg him on a little bit?] There was some tension on the group date
last week with [D]. How is that relationship?

Seokjin: (Rolling his eyes) Listen, I’m not in this to start drama. I may have said something
to him that pissed him off, but it was all in good fun.

Interviewer: (Sighing) Well, how do you feel things are going with Yoongi?”

Seokjin: Oh, Yoongi is fantastic. He’s a lot like some of my friends back home. We share a
mind link. See, like I said, I don’t like to talk [censored] about other contestants, but
sometimes I’ll just look at Yoongi and we have an entire conversation without saying a word.
He reminds me a lot of my brother actually. I think me and Yoongi could talk about anything
and laugh about everything. I’m a lot to put up with, not to say I’m a diva, but I’m definitely
a handful. But Yoongi could definitely put up with me.

Interviewer: So you’re confident you’ll be staying on for another week?

 Seokjin: I intend to stay on for the whole show. I really don’t think God would have given
me this face if I’m not supposed to be a leading man.

Interviewer: (With a facial expression that is, as the kids say, “shook”) Really? You’re that
confident that Yoongi will fall in love with you?

Seokjin: (A look of consideration) I don’t know. I just think I’m going to stick around. I
know I have an edge over some other contestants for sure, but I haven’t had a solo date yet,
so I’ll just have to wait to see. With some of the other characters in the house, even if he
doesn’t end up falling in love with me, he’ll probably want to keep me in anyway.

Interviewer: Who would you say is your biggest competition?

Seokjin: Hoseok.

Interviewer: There was no hesitation there.

Seokjin: Just like Yoongi around Hoseok [shrugging his broadest of broad shoulders].

Interviewer: So, what about Hoseok? What have you noticed? How do you feel about him?

Seokjin: I think Hoseok is one of the best people I’ve ever met. He’s genuine and kind, and
full of only wonderful things. There is literally no way to be sad around him, he’ll bring you
out of any funk you get into. He just has this sort of charisma that lights up every room and
every space he’s in. It would be impossible for Yoongi not to be affected by him. I’m affected
by him. He’s one of my favorite people in the mansion by a substantial amount.

Interviewer: Are you jealous of him?

Seokjin: [Getting visibly annoyed with some of the questions. This interviewer wants only to
start trouble, but he’s barking up the wrong tree] No. Why should I be? Hoseok has
something with Yoongi, and I have something too. At the end of nine weeks, it doesn’t boil
down to who wins and who loses, it’s really all a matter of Yoongi finding someone he wants
to be with. I don’t have any reason to be jealous. If I’m the one, then I’m the one and that’s
great. But if I’m not, if it’s Hoseok, or Tae, or whoever, then good for those two.

**Notes from the director: How are those T-Shirts with his face coming along? Do you
happen to have one in a size large? Asking for a friend.

}}

“What did he even say to you after that?” Hoseok asks.

“Do you know what, I’ve sort of blacked it out. It was so uncomfortable that I didn’t even
know what to do. We both kind of pretended nothing happened, but once someone says
something like that to you, you can never ever go back,” Yoongi responds, recalling it like a
war story.

“Do you think he’ll quit the show?” Hoseok asks.

“God… I hope not,” Yoongi says, thinking on it and realizing desperately that he adores
Jungkook. He wants to adopt him and keep him by his side for all time. This show is an
absolute nightmare, there are so many people he just wants to be friends with forever, but
they all want him in a vastly different way and that’s ridiculous. He never meant for this all to
get so messy, but it’s messy so quickly.

Yoongi made the decision on day one that he’d be nice to everyone. That was a milestone that
he didn’t think he’d actually come to when he signed his contract. Then came along Hoseok,
and he was forced to make the decision that maybe he’d give the purpose of the show a
chance. Because Hoseok gave him a pretty solid reason for why he should give the show a
chance. Those were two things that the Yoongi of a month ago would have scoffed at. He
didn’t realize that opening himself up like this would hurt more than just other people.

That’s what it was about when he made that first resolution. He didn’t want to let anyone
down; he didn’t want to lead anyone on. Now, the fear is growing more rapidly because he’s
gotten to know the people he’ll be letting down. He has a name and a face to attach to anyone
whose heart he breaks. He shudders at the thought of it. How could he have been so reckless
and stupid?

The emotions just don’t seem real, because the show and his life don’t seem real right now.
All he ever wanted was to promote his mixtape. But now he’s sitting here looking at someone
who might be his only exception and he feels like a monster. And there’s still another eight
fucking weeks to go!

Hoseok hums something to himself and then looks at Yoongi in a way that forces him to look
back. No one in the world would be able to resist him with the way he’s looking so deeply
into him. “What if I said…” he starts and then trails off.

Yoongi waits for him, but he doesn’t say anything else. “Said what?”

Hoseok smirks just a little bit in a way that makes Yoongi’s heart beat off track for just a
moment. “What if I said that I have feelings for you?”

Yoongi’s entire body clenches. From his jaw to his ass, he clenches. Then he’s gulping and
trying to remember what words are. He doesn’t know any words. Has he ever known words?
Is Yoongi illiterate? Is he mute? How do people communicate with one another? Is it all
grunting and pointing or are there other things you’re supposed to do along with it?

Yoongi is already pale, so the fact that he loses what little color he actually has is something
Hoseok can’t not notice. He smiles just a little evilly on the inside. And the outside. Hoseok
would never deny that he’s got a little devil in him. It usually comes out when he’s around
Yoongi.

“You don’t need to say anything,” Hoseok says. “I’m reading you loud and clear.”

Yoongi finds his tongue, which is in his mouth funnily enough. He shakes his head like he’s
angry, but he’s not angry, he’s just losing his sanity. Hoseok, what are you doing to me? “I
despise you.”
“You have an interesting way of showing it.”

Unbeknownst to either of them, they’re both having almost the exact same fantasy right now.
In Hoseok’s, he’s pushing Yoongi up against the refrigerator and sticking his tongue down his
throat. In Yoongi’s brain, Hoseok’s got him sitting on the counter and kissing all down his
neck. In both fantasies, they’re in their own kitchen, so they can’t possibly be interrupted.
Yoongi likes the idea of it being early in the morning, just like now, and it’s a Sunday so they
have the whole day to themselves. Holy shit, what if Hoseok did him against the counter?
Hoseok likes the idea that they both had a long day at work and finished doing the dishes and
then he pressed Yoongi up against whatever surface was nearest. And then they would kiss
for hours, with Yoongi being all needy and handsy. Hoseok would let him do anything he
wants.

Yoongi clears his throat and stares at the ceiling. If you’ve ever tried to stare at the ceiling in
an effort to look natural, you will know that it is anything but. Hoseok can’t help but to notice
how pristine Yoongi’s neck looks and wonders what it might look like if there were splotches
of purple running down it.

“Do you think we should-” Yoongi’s voice cracks loudly with a very pubescent sound, and
then all of a sudden, the tension falls from the room as Hoseok laughs at him. Yoongi’s
embarrassed by his voice but the air of too much is gone from the room, because now it’s
them both laughing at Yoongi’s voice crack. “Sorry, about that. My balls just dropped. I’ve
been waiting for this day for quite a while.”

Hoseok is covering his mouth while he laughs, Yoongi has noticed he does that a lot. He
wonders if he’s ashamed of the way his mouth looks when he laughs, all big, showing off his
teeth. Yoongi pulls his hand down by the wrist, he doesn’t even realize he’s doing it until
Hoseok is looking at him surprised, but he’s still laughing. He’s only caught off guard for a
second until he replays Yoongi’s voice crack in his head again.

“Think we should what, Yoongi? Buy you your first razor?”

Yoongi hangs his head. He tries to make his smile go away, but it won’t, so he just resigns to
it and looks back up. “No, I was gonna ask if you think we should meddle in the other guys’
love lives?”

“In what way?”

“Well, so Namjoon and Seokjin-”

“Yes, definitely,” Hoseok says almost immediately.

“You didn’t even let me finish.”

“Yoongi, I’m going to be straight with you for a second,” Hoseok says, makes a face and then
corrects himself, “I’m going to be bisexual with you for a second.”

“Of course,” Yoongi nods.

“The less competition I have, the better,” Hoseok continues. “If Namjoon and Seokjin get it,
then I don’t need to worry about either of them. But what to do about Jungkook…?”

“I want him to stay on the show because he’s just so nice and fun to hang around with, but
who do we try to match him with?”

Hoseok looks at him, “you do realize that us trying to sabotage other people’s chances with
you means that you’re revealing your hand quite a bit, right? Why are we, as in you The
Bachelor, and me, a humble little contestant, trying to make sure no one else can have you?”

Yoongi only now realizes how right Hoseok is and how very telling it is. It is a little
suspicious that he’s conspiring with a contestant against all the others.

“Shut up,” is all Yoongi has to say. He’s not going to let Hoseok win a battle like this.

Hoseok shakes his head. He feels very good about himself right now. Pretty hard not to when
it’s clear that Yoongi is falling for him. If only Yoongi was falling as fast as he is.

“Jimin maybe?” Yoongi suggests.

“What about Taehyung?” Hoseok says. Taehyung might be the only contestant that Hoseok is
worried might stand in his way. Yoongi gave Taehyung that rose on the group date last week.
Yoongi is unbelievably soft around him. He treats Taehyung like a delicate little thing, and it
rubs Hoseok the wrong way just the slightest bit. Okay, maybe a lot. He told Hoseok to his
goddamn face that he thinks Taehyung is gorgeous. Yoongi even has a nickname for him and
everything! Hoseok doesn’t have a nickname.

Hoseok didn’t know he had the capacity to be this jealous before starting this show. Usually,
you’re not competing for the attention of the person you like with twenty-four other people.
He’s had no way to compare what it feels like.

Now…? Well, things are different. Taehyung is literally the nicest person. And Hoseok
doesn’t hate him by any means. But he doesn’t like him. He’s doing the best he can to keep
that inside of himself, but he’s worried it’s going to leak through. When he talks to Taehyung,
it’s easy, how could anyone dislike this guy? However, once he thinks about the fact that
Yoongi clearly likes him, Hoseok’s heart turns rigid.

It sucks that he can’t see footage of the show. What is Yoongi like with everyone else when
Hoseok isn’t around? Just what was it like when Yoongi gave him that rose? Was it romantic?
All the other guys had sounded jealous and made it out to be extravagant, but Hoseok just
wishes he knew how Yoongi felt about everyone else.

He reminds himself that Yoongi described him as more special as the others. However, he
might have just been saying that. He has no doubt that Yoongi likes him more than Taehyung,
he just doesn’t know how much more. Does he need to work extra hard to make sure Yoongi
only has eyes for him, or what?

He hates this show to pieces. He hates the jealousy and the competition. All he wants is to
take Yoongi home with him and not have to deal with anyone else.
“Hmm,” Yoongi says, completely unaware of the way that Hoseok’s jaw is very firm once the
word ‘Taehyung’ is in the air. “Well, Jungkook and Jimin are roommates, and they’re already
pretty good friends. You know how shy Jungkook is… it feels like it would be easier-”

“I just think he and Taehyung would get along really well.”

“They might, yeah,” Yoongi nods. He looks at Hoseok’s face to see that something is wrong
with it. He looks happy and carefree as usual, but there’s also something behind the eyes that
suggests something else. “We should probably focus on Namjoon and Seokjin first, because
it’ll be a lot easier.”

Hoseok nods and tries to not let his mind fester with how reluctant Yoongi is to match
Taehyung up with someone. Why wouldn’t Taehyung be a good match for Jungkook,
Yoongi? What’s special about "Tae”?

“How do we go about that?” Hoseok asks.

“It’s Seokjin we gotta attack before anyone else. Well, not attack. Well, maybe attack. We’ll
deal with that if it happens.” Yoongi is very confident that if he were to punch someone, he
would break his own hand without giving that other person a bruise.

“What’s your plan?”

Yoongi makes a soft sound. “Well, he’s not going on the date today, and neither is Namjoon.
So, I think, since I’m taking all the good ones with me, that’s going to force those two to
hang out. Because who else would they hang out with all day? D? Well I guess Jungkook is
going to be left here too…”

“It’s a starting point for sure. But Jungkook is probably depressed over the fact that you
rejected him,” Hoseok says, remembering how Jungkook ate his dinner outside by himself
yesterday. Fuck, it would be awful if he’s actually depressed over the whole thing, it would
make Hoseok’s heart break. It makes his heart break even more when he knows he doesn’t
have to worry about competing with him. Poor Jungkook, he just wants to find love.

“I feel shitty. But at least he found out sooner rather than later.”

Hoseok purses his lips a little bit and looks at Yoongi. Yoongi looking into his coffee mug,
probably questioning why it hasn’t refilled itself. He’ll have his second cup soon, because
he’s got to get his makeup done in about twenty minutes. Hoseok analyzes him, it’s easy to
do when Yoongi doesn’t look up. It’s nice having free range to look at Yoongi as much as he
wants. He would set his face as his phone background if he had his phone.

He’s got the prettiest hair. Hoseok will never get enough of it. His mouth is just mesmerizing,
he could look at those lips for years, though preferably he would kiss them. Even Yoongi’s
eyelashes are charming. He almost hates how pretty Yoongi is without trying. He puts on
whatever clothes he wants, doesn’t spend an hour on his skin every day and he just walks
around looking like this.
Hoseok wishes it was that easy. He would never think himself unattractive, but he has never
felt like the most attractive person in any room ever. He goes to extremely great lengths in
order to make people like him. Clothes, hair, skin care, everything. It constantly feels like a
performance. On top of that, he goes out and he puts so much effort into being a ray of
sunshine, being positive, being easy going. It’s not that he’s ingenuine, but he’s put so much
pressure on himself to always be perfect.

There are mornings like this one, with Yoongi, where he doesn’t need to force anything. He
can just talk to him, laugh, and it’s easy. Yoongi doesn’t expect perfection out of him, he
doesn’t care that Hoseok just got out of the shower or that he’s too tired to animate himself.
He just likes Hoseok for him. It’s relaxing. To just exist. To just be whoever he needs to be
and have someone more than just accept it. For someone to like it.

“Why me, Yoongi?” Hoseok asks him.

Yoongi looks up and they stare into each other. Yoongi can see the color of Hoseok’s soul
inside of him. He’s red, and yellow, and pink. He’s watercolors and cherry blossoms.

Yoongi doesn’t need to ask him what his question means. He looks at Hoseok and has to try
to confine his response to only a few words, because he could rhapsodize a waterfall about
him. “You play your music too loud.”

Hoseok is taken aback. “What?”

“I don’t play my music loud enough, and you play your music too loud.”

Hoseok smiles. He thinks he understands what that means. He compliments Yoongi. They fill
in whatever spaces the other doesn’t have. It’s clear that Yoongi works with words, the way
he talks is seamless and wise even when he’s insulting you. Hoseok wouldn’t want to be on
the wrong end of one of his diss tracks.

He’s about to say something really wise and insightful in response, but Seokjin comes down
to the kitchen at that precise moment. How had they not heard him come down? Hoseok
wonders if he heard them talking, or what that would mean if he did. He definitely hopes
Seokjin didn’t hear about their plan to make him fall in love with Namjoon, but he wouldn’t
be at all upset if he heard Yoongi say that. He wants everyone in the house to know how
Yoongi feels about him.

“Good morning,” he says brightly. He’s dressed in typical Seokjin fashion. Clothes that are
too big for him that don’t look as unstylish as they should be considering how comfortable
they appear to be.

“Seokjin!” Yoongi’s tone is an immediate give away that they were just talking about
something important or talking about him. In this case, it happens to be both. Hoseok tries to
catch Yoongi’s eye to mouth something at him, but Yoongi is refusing to look at him. He
looks uncomfortable.

“What are we talking about?” Oh god, does he know? He must know. Maybe he doesn’t.
People usually come downstairs and immediately jump into the conversation, maybe he
honestly wants to know what they were talking about so that he can jump into it.

“Uh, uh,” Yoongi says, thinking at a lightning speed. “So you’re not coming on the group
date today. That’s a bummer.”

Seokjin can definitely tell something’s up. He’s not about to press it, though. “Yeah, it does
suck. You’re the one who makes the dates, though, don’t you remember?”

“Oh… yeah,” Yoongi nods with his whole body.

“I know you can’t say but blink once for no, twice for yes: am I going on the solo date in two
days?”

Yoongi smiles awkwardly. The kind of smile you give to someone who holds the door open
for you. He would really rather bring Namjoon, because he doesn’t have to worry about
hurting him, but for the plan to succeed, he’s got to hype Namjoon up to Seokjin. He needs to
plant the seed.

Yoongi blinks twice.

Seokjin smiles and goes to get his coffee. Before he even has to ask, he grabs Yoongi’s mug
and refills that for him. Wow, Yoongi understands what Namjoon must see in him.

“You’re amazing,” Yoongi accepts his coffee and takes a very long sip which only hurts his
tongue a little bit. Pain is worth the caffeine. Anything is worth the caffeine.

“But hey Jungkook will be here with you all day!” Hoseok says, speaking up for the first time
since his arrival. He’s given up on what he was going to say to Yoongi which would have
been very melty and sweet.

“Oh! And Namjoon,” Yoongi sees what Hoseok is playing at.

“I get along with most people,” he shrugs. “I promised Namjoon I’d play a game with him.
He’s not very good at anything in the game room though. He’s almost worse than you two at
pool. Almost.”

“That’s good that your friends,” Yoongi says, nodding. Thread the needle, Yoongi, just thread
that needle. “I often think how awful this show would be if you guys were all competing over
me… or I mean, I guess that’s what you are doing. I just mean, like if you were fighting
dirty.” He makes an attempt to laugh, but it’s clear to even his own ears how fake it is. “I
hope that we all get close to each other instead of anyone turning on anyone else.”

Hoseok is embarrassed for him. Behind Seokjin’s back he gives a sarcastic thumbs up and
mouths, “smooth.” Yoongi is tempted to give him the finger but Seokjin is looking at him, so
he wouldn’t be able to get away with it. In all fairness, of all the people who might be
offended by Yoongi flipping them off, Seokjin would not make the top of the list.

“Yeah,” Seokjin is clearly trying to ignore the tension. He adds sugar to his coffee and then
sits next to Yoongi. That’s where he usually sits, and Hoseok doesn’t have a whole lot of
jealousy. Hoseok gets to just looks straight at Yoongi, while Seokjin would have to crane his
neck. Instead, he gets to look at Hoseok’s lovely face. He’s also not jealous because there’s
no reason for why Yoongi would be trying to set him up with Namjoon if he wanted Seokjin
for himself.

Yoongi goes back to his coffee, which is something he can’t mess up on. He can’t sound
stupid when he’s drinking coffee. Oh god, unless he spills it. He stutters a little bit and pulls
the mug away from his mouth, now irrationally afraid that he’s going to spill it on himself.
The mansion may be big but there’s only one washer and one dryer. Also, he likes this shirt.
He likes Hoseok’s shirt more though. He’d prefer to see Hoseok’s shirt on the floor, but that’s
a different story.

“Where are you guys going today?” Seokjin asks.

“Oh, I shouldn’t say.” Yoongi is thankful that Seokjin’s decided to drop the conversation
before he really put his foot in his mouth.

Yoongi does know where they’re going today, and there’s certainly someone very pretty –
maybe even prettier than he is – who is sure to enjoy it. A lot of the dates so far have been
personalized to the person he brings on them. Some of that is coincidental, Hoseok being the
most obvious case. Hoseok was the only person chosen for a date that he decided day-of,
because that was literally day two and he hadn’t met anyone yet so he couldn’t have picked in
advance. He’s pretty sure that the date at the zoo was for Taehyung, and there’s no doubt that
the trampoline park was only a Jungkook date. He and Jimin had gone to a ballet which was
nice, if a little boring. Yoongi did not say out loud to Jimin that he found it boring, because
he’s not a monster.

“Is it good?” Hoseok asks. He’s excited to be with Yoongi all day, but he’s not keen on
having to share him. Especially not with Taehyung, ugh.

“I think it’ll be a very good day.” Yoongi checks the time and sighs. “I should probably go
before Producer Dad comes in here to yell at me. Last time, he told me he would tie off my
balls and I don’t even know what that means.”

Hoseok shudders at the thought of it. “It’s always testicles with that guy, I’m starting to think
he’s got a problem.”

“Hard to tie them,” Seokjin says, looking off into space like he’s imaging it which Yoongi
wants to tell him not to do, because ew. “You need a little more give. You could maybe do it
if you’re older.”

Yoongi snorts, almost right into his coffee. Oh, that’s gross. He’s starting to love Seokjin. He
gets down the last of his coffee and manages not to spill any of it on himself. He shouldn’t be
congratulating himself for that because he has been managing to not spill things on himself
for about two decades now. Then he looks at Hoseok, who is the only person in the kitchen in
his eyes. He makes a reminder to himself of what Hoseok’s nose looks like. It’s wide and
expressive like his personality. He feels like that will be important information to keep in his
brain when he has to spend time with Producer Dad.
Yoongi bumps into Namjoon as he makes his way downstairs. He gives him a hello before he
heads out of the house. Namjoon and Seokjin usually are the third and fourth to wake up. He
wonders if he and Seokjin are in the same bunk bed. Honestly, they would make such a cute
couple. He actually thinks Namjoon is the cutest thing in the world for liking Seokjin,
because he wasn’t even supposed to. It was an accident, he’s supposed to like Yoongi, but he
couldn’t even help himself from liking Seokjin. That’s just the sweetest thing he’s ever heard.

Yoongi is starting to get comfortable sitting in the makeup chair of the trailer. Outside, it’s far
too hot, but inside the trailer it’s nice and cool, because getting all sweaty and gross while
having his makeup done would be sort of counter intuitive. He rests his eyes as his face and
hair are played around with, and he thinks he might be drifting off to sleep when the voice of
his favorite person in the whole entire world interrupts his daze.

“You spend an awful lot of time with Hoseok, don’t you, Yoongi?” Producer Dad asks.

“You spend an awful lot of time with your hand, it’s just not caught on camera,” Yoongi
doesn’t even open his eyes with his retort, but he can tell how he opens and closes his mouth
angrily searching for a comeback that just isn’t there.

“You could try to show some attention to the others.”

Yoongi opens his eyes so that he can glare at Producer Dad in the mirror. “I show attention to
the others all the time. Just because Hoseok and I wake up before everyone else and talk
doesn’t mean I’m not giving others attention.” It’s the truth, and he’s annoyed with Producer
Dad’s implication that he isn’t trying. Producer Dad is like that one teacher you had in school
who thought getting the wrong answer on a math problem means you didn’t try at all. That
teacher doesn’t look at the half a page of work you did because they only see the failure.

“So what do you call your date with Jungkook then?”

“Me and Jungkook get along really well, we had amazing conversation and I was engaged the
entire time on our date. Just because I’m not ready to get on one knee doesn’t mean I am not
showing him attention. Besides, if I hang out with Hoseok too much, you don’t have to show
all of it on the show. You have the liberty of editing it down. I’ve given you plenty of content
with all the other guys, and if I spend more time with Hoseok then you’re just going to have
to deal with it. Got that motherfucker?”

“You don’t need to be so aggressive,” Producer Dad says.

“I’m fed up with nothing I do being good enough for you. There was a time when I thought
I’d give you a chance, maybe your job is just stressful, but you’re constantly nagging me like
I’ve done something wrong when I’m doing what you want. I let you keep D for god’s sake,
when I’d sooner shove him off an iceberg and say he slipped. Just because I don’t do things
how you want them done doesn’t mean they’re not getting done. I’m taking this show
seriously, even if you don’t want to believe it. And maybe Hoseok is the reason I want to take
this show seriously. Either way, you’re just going to have to fucking deal.”

“Alright,” he throws his hands up in the air. “I may have been a bit hard on you.”
 Yoongi humphs. He’s been an asshole to Producer Dad, but he is most certainly not going to
stop, even if it makes him a bad person. If he shows he’s worthy of it, maybe Yoongi will
tone it down, but that’s something you’ve got to earn. Producer Dad doesn’t want to get into
Yoongi’s good books any more than Yoongi wants to keep him out.

“You like Hoseok, don’t you?” he asks. Yoongi doesn’t know what Producer Dad could
possibly be thinking in his brain that would warrant the need to ask that question. Is it not the
most obvious thing in the world? What does he need to do in order to make it clearer that he
likes Hoseok? Should he buy a banner?

“You could say that.”

“Will you at least give the viewers a little more towards the other contestants? I know what
you’re plotting, we can’t air that footage of you trying to pair up the other contestants. Do a
little more convincing to the camera that you might be torn.”

“I don’t want to lead anyone on, especially not when they’re so nice. Well, some of them at
least.”

Producer Dad just shakes his head and the uneasy truce that Yoongi might have had with him
is washed away. “I cannot believe you. All I’m asking is for you to show some amount of
tension with anybody. Taehyung, M, Jimin, since you’ve clearly given up on everyone else.”

“How do you manufacture romantic tension?”

“I don’t know, just do it.”

“The second I feel something for anyone other than Hoseok, I’ll give you what you want.
Until that happens,” Yoongi knows it won’t, “you get what you get. Shithead.”

Chapter End Notes

Todays comment prompt might be the most exciting one yet. I don't know what to do
with the Maknae line! I want everyone to be happy, but I think I'll take a vote as to what
to do with the boys. Please sound off your preference between Taekook, Jikook, or
Vminkook in the comments!
 I'm Fine
Chapter Summary

Something about straw and camels.

Chapter Notes

This is probably my favorite chapter of this fic so far, I hope you like it!

See the end of the chapter for more notes

{{

(The Bachelor: Boys Will Be Boys SK Interview Jung Hoseok #8)

I wish I wasn’t going on a group date. I have no shame in saying that. I wish I was with
Yoongi all by myself. I spend the most time with Yoongi out of everyone, I know that. But
I’m selfish.

Normally, I’m the opposite of selfish, but I like being with Yoongi. It’s not like I don’t want
Yoongi to hang out with anyone specifically, because that doesn’t bother me that much, even
if I am jealous of some of the others. I just want to spend all my time with Yoongi and learn
everything about him. I don’t want to waste my time not being around him. Obviously, it’s
important to have friends outside of a relationship and I want us both to become friends with
the guys here, but I also just want to talk to him for hours and hours without being
interrupted. I can’t get that on a group date.

I’ve never been a morning person before, but I get to wake up and spend time with Yoongi all
alone every morning and that is all I could ever hope to have on this show. He makes
mornings more than just bearable. Yoongi is the reason why mornings were invented. I think
around anyone else he’d be grumpy and quiet when he first wakes up. I definitely think he’s
different around me, good different. I like the way he said that I complement him. I bring him
up a little bit, and I can tell that whenever I see him with anyone else. He’s not as “calm” as
you might think he is.

I wonder how it feels for other people on The Bachelor. Not just on this show, but on the
other ones before it. All of the dozens of versions with straight people. On those shows I bet
it’s a lot harder to fall for another contestant than it is on here, obviously I’m talking about
Namjoon.
I wonder what those other people have felt like in my shoes. I’m just this one guy surrounded
by over a dozen other men and we all want the same thing. And we’re all like super attractive
too. Sure Yoongi likes me more than everyone else, but he still is like, “dating” other people
at the same time as me. It feels weird. I don’t want to share him, like at all. I only want
Yoongi to date me… or I guess that’s not what we’re doing, not yet at least. I don’t want
Yoongi to have romantic feelings for anyone but me.

How have other people dealt with this? I’m driving myself insane. Because I know, I know he
likes me more than the others. It’s not hard to figure out. But there’s eight more weeks of him
dwindling people down when I just want it to be us right off the bat. It’s not, well, it’s not
great for my mental health.

I watched a few episodes of other seasons to get a feel for this show, and it is absolutely
insane that the Bachelor actually kissed so many people at once. I know that’s the show, I
know it’s not like those guys were cheating on anyone, every contestant knew what they were
signing up for, just like I did. What I don’t understand is how those girls could ever sleep at
night knowing that the guy they kissed has gone around kissing a dozen other women. It’s
ridiculous. I’m jealous even when Yoongi so much as talks about Taehyung. Imagine if
Yoongi was the sort to kiss people who even just sort of likes. I don’t even know how
depressed I would be if Yoongi hadn’t specifically talked about that on night one. I’m not a
sharer, not when it comes to relationships.

I guess when he said that though, he made it so easy to fall for him. He really does respect all
of us and doesn’t want to lead anyone on. When he said he didn’t want to kiss anyone until he
knew he was sure… that meant a lot to me. I wonder if that will apply to me down the road.
Something about the way he said that was so sexy. Maybe I’m just crazy.

I want more from him. I want everything. I don’t want to be on this show anymore, I just
want to try things out with us, by ourselves. I’m so jealous all the time! I hate the way it
makes me feel. I despise the way I catch myself thinking negatively of other people because
of how much I want Yoongi.

I’ll make it through the next eight weeks. I will. Once we’re out of here it’ll be easier. It’ll
just be me and him. But this will be the longest few months of my entire life.

**Notes from the director: I don't need any more of this Hoseok content. Please get me
footage of the other guys.

}}

Hoseok is not going to tell Yoongi that he’s afraid of rollercoasters. That is absolutely out of
the question. Sure, Yoongi probably doesn’t see him as the manliest man around, and Hoseok
wouldn’t want him to, but there is no reason for why he should ever have to know that he
doesn’t scream for joy when he rides a rollercoaster. Those are screams for a vastly different
reason.

The very first rollercoaster of the day, Hoseok sits beside Jimin instead of Yoongi which is a
mercy because at least he can prepare his body to make less of an idiot of himself when it
comes to actually riding an amusement park ride beside Yoongi.
“You okay, Hoseok?” Jimin asks, noticing how pallid he looks once the attendant straps down
the big metal bar. Hoseok hates that a metal bar and a few buckles are the only things that
stop him from being shot into the air and killed. Rollercoasters are fucking death traps and he
is not okay with this. He one time read the Wikipedia page for how many people have been
killed at amusement parks and he will never function the same way again.

“I just hate rollercoasters,” he says, looking sick to his stomach.

“You can absolutely just say you don’t want to do it and get off,” Jimin says, now looking
concerned. He puts a hand on Hoseok’s shoulder and tries to comfort him, but it’s definitely
too late, because in that moment, there’s a small lurch and they begin to slowly inch forward.
Yoongi is two rows ahead of them now, sitting beside M and Hoseok really wishes he was
anywhere else but here. He would almost rather be at the mansion than on this rollercoaster.
Almost. He just has to bite it down for Yoongi.

“Too late now,” he says.

“You don’t need to get on the next one, okay? Just stay on the ground, Yoongi isn’t going to
send you home for not liking a rollercoaster.”

“Mm,” Hoseok says as they pick up speed. It’s only a few seconds before they won’t be able
to hear each other anyway. He just resigns himself and holds onto whatever he can with the
tightest grip imaginable. He has half a thought to close his eyes, but somehow, he feels like
that would make it worse.

On the limo ride over here, Yoongi had whispered to him that he was especially excited to
take Hoseok on this date. That got his mind running through thousands of different options,
Yoongi knows a lot about him so he was excited to see why this would be such a good date.
So imagine his total and utter surprise when they pulled up in front of a goddamn amusement
park. His mouth had dried up instantly, all he could do was nod and give Yoongi a fake smile.

He has always hated rollercoasters. He doesn’t like anything that takes him too high, makes
him go upside down or anything of the sort. Hell, he gets scared over bridges that are too tall,
and bridges are definitely not as scary as actual moving, rotating death traps.

Why on earth could Yoongi think this is the place for him? What has he said or done that
would lead him into believing that this is where he would want to go on a date? Sure Hoseok
has a big energetic personality, but that doesn’t mean it translates into riding giant
nightmares.

Hoseok can see the front of the rollercoaster inching upwards in front of him and he could
actually cry. Why is he here? He hates it so much. Back in middle school, all of his friends
would only ever get on rides that made Hoseok sick to his stomach, and that’s probably what
has left him with this lingering fear.

At some point, Jimin grips his hand to calm him down. Hoseok doesn’t even really feel it. He
really does close his eyes at the first drop and that’s when the pressure of the velocity pushes
him against his spot and makes him completely lose his composure. He starts screaming. Bad
screaming. You wouldn’t be able to tell, because everyone else starts screaming too and
they’re louder but Jimin can hear and he feels unbelievably self-conscious at that fact.

It seems to take forever. A lot of Hoseok gripping anything he can so hard that his fingers
begin to cramp painfully. He only opens his eyes once or twice, and decides he hates it, so he
closes them again. The ride doesn’t come to a stop until way past the point of Hoseok’s
defeat. He looks like a sad little puppy, and Jimin has to shake him when they stop to make
sure he’s still conscious. Regrettably, he is. He’s one of the last people to actually get onto his
legs on the platform and they are extremely shaky when he does. His feet could be made out
of pudding with how much traction he’s getting on them.

He catches sight of Yoongi who has his hair all messed up again and ordinarily Hoseok
would smirk at him or go over and play with it to make it look more presentable, but he isn’t
really capable of it. He just looks sick and tries to hide that with an uneasy smile. Yoongi
doesn’t notice.

The park is closed aside from them, which is quite the feat because this place is usually
packed to the brim with people. It can take two hours just to get on one ride. The fact that it
isn’t crowded means that some producer is able to lead them onto the next ride and it’s a ride
that Hoseok has never once even dared to look at, let alone actually get onto. People who
actually enjoy pendulum rides are not from this earth and should be destroyed. Even Yoongi
is looking warily at it. Hoseok prays that he’ll announce they’re skipping this one, but he
doesn’t. Yoongi walks up the steps that get to the platform of the horrible creation that is
clearly made to taunt God.

Hoseok’s gaze looks up, and then up some more. There’s no way that’s safe. He’s sick just
looking at it. Nevertheless, he tries to swallow the fear inside of him, because he doesn’t want
Yoongi to think little of him.

“What are you doing?” Jimin mouths at him. Hoseok shrugs back. Jimin doesn’t control him.
Is this stupid? Yes. Does that mean he’s going to be the only person in the group to be left on
the ground? Absolute fucking not.

He tells himself he’s being ridiculous. Rides are built to be safe. He’s a grown ass adult. He
shouldn’t be afraid of a little bit of centripetal force.

Hoseok does end up coming to regret that attitude when it’s ten minutes later and he’s
vomited into a trash can.

Once the ride has stopped, he patiently waits for everyone to get off, and even lets them all
start to gather around the exit before he very carefully walks over to the trash can where
you’re supposed to throw away food before getting on the ride. Then, he gracelessly ejects
his breakfast.

With the cameras all focused on Yoongi he genuinely thinks that maybe he’ll get away with it
without anyone noticing. Not the case.

Suddenly a whole army of producers, crew members, park staff, cultists, his graduating class,
and the Gods are all swarming around him and he feels like a total idiot. It was just a little bit
of puke, that’s not a big deal, it must happen all the time. He doesn’t need this sort of
attention.

“I’m fine, I promise,” he says, holding up his hands to try to get people away from him. “I
just ate too much, that’s all. I’m fine.”

He doesn’t look fine. He’s blanched, pretty much every part of him is sweating. He feels like
he just ran a marathon and his eyes are about to fall out of his skull. He would like absolutely
nothing more than a mint and then a five-day nap.

He doesn’t even know where the other contestants are, because all he sees are people looking
at him like he’s about to die. Apparently, there’s a medic? Where did she come from? God, he
hopes Yoongi hadn’t seen. He hopes no one saw. He doesn’t want anyone to see what he
looks like right now. Christ, what if it’s on camera? The whole world is going to see him
puking after only two rides. This is the most helpless and embarrassing thing that will
probably ever happen to him and he could cry.

There’s a camera on him, it looks gigantic. It must have seen. Or maybe it didn’t capture him
actually getting sick. In any case, it’s capturing him now, and he looks less than perfect.
Looking or acting anything less than perfect is one of Hoseok’s worst nightmares. With how
much effort he concentrates into being the best version of himself, it’s horrifying to see his
mask crumble.

No one is allowed to know that he isn’t flawless. Everyone is supposed to assume he doesn’t
get sad, look tired, get sick. After years and years of presenting himself that way, it’s
horrifying for his image to be at stake.

He feels like a total idiot. He feels gross and disgusting. Why won’t these people leave him
alone? Lots of people get sick on rides, it’s obviously nothing worse than that. Hoseok has
never personally been one to get sick like this, he doesn’t remember the last time he even
puked, but it can’t be that unusual for an amusement park.

“I swear I’m fine,” he says, for maybe the hundredth time. “Can I get a mint, please?” He
doesn’t even want to begin describing the taste in his mouth. All he knows is that there is a
reason for why stomach acid stays in your stomach.

“Do whatever you have to,” Producer Dad says to the medic. “The show is liable for anything
that happens to him.” Oh, so that’s why everyone is so worried about him.

Someone gives him a stick of gum and he would give that person a hug if his vision wasn’t
kind of tunneled from the rushing in his head. Oh boy he does not feel good at all. He feels
really, really bad. He starts to see spots and it’s almost like his vision turns black.

He physically pushes people away from him before he runs to the trash can and gets sick
again. This time, there’s no denying that the camera is witnessing it. He can’t hide from this.
All he can do is slump over the bin with the disgusting taste in his mouth. He tries his best to
cover his face from being seen. He spits and wretches, trying to get everything out. It all feels
like he’s going to pass out.
Hoseok isn’t able to get very far before he collapses directly on the ground and covers his
face. Everyone is looking at him, even if it’s only nine or ten people, it feels like hundreds.
There’s a camera. One camera might as well be several million people. Several million
people watching stupid little Hoseok get sick and look disgusting. What if Yoongi…

That’s what leads to the panic attack.

His chest starts heaving, and his entire body heats up like he’s been set on fire. This is not
good. This is super not good. It’s not unfamiliar, he knows what’s happening the second it
happens. It’s all just too much. Cameras are on him; everyone is looking at him. Yoongi is
probably regretting ever even liking him and it all crashes down on him at the same time. He
curls up into a ball on the ground and tries to hide himself from the world when he begins
crying into his knees. He must look pitiful.

The walls are caving in on him. It doesn’t make sense, he’s outside, there are no walls. But
there are too many people. Too many people looking.

“Get that camera out of here! Get rid of it!” someone says. “Please everyone back away from
him, you’re only going to do more harm than good.” The voice doesn’t really register to
Hoseok’s brain. He can most definitely sense it however when the shadows over him back
away some. Even in his little bundle on the ground he can tell that the sun is shining against
him easier. It doesn’t have any effect on the anxiety and fear coursing through his veins
which have replaced his blood.

It’s the kind of falling that feels like it’ll never stop. Is he always just going to be this mess
crying on the ground? It certainly feels that way. All his good memories of the show, of
Yoongi are wiped from his mind. The only thing he can think about is Yoongi’s look of
disgust if he’s watching right now.

Someone approaches. “Hoseok?” he recognizes the voice. He’s more than a little bit surprised
that it’s Taehyung’s voice. He’s the one who pushed people away? Hoseok peaks out of his
cocoon to see the pretty face of Taehyung looking back at him. He looks so goddamn soft
right now. His light brown hair is like a puppy’s, and so are his eyes. He hides himself again,
not wanting to be seen in whatever state he’s in.

He’s still crying, and it doesn’t feel like it’s going to stop. He wants it to stop, needs it to stop.
What he feels, it’s not sadness or despair; its cold hard panic making him think irrationally
and feel like everything in the world is against him. It doesn’t matter what’s true, all his brain
will tell him is grief.

Taehyung sits down next to him. “It’s okay Hoseok. You’re okay. Just feel whatever you have
to feel, I’ll be here.”

For several minutes, maybe ten, fifteen, or more, he just sits there, crying. The medic is
telling him just to breathe deeply. It’s just a panic attack, he’ll be fine. Just a panic attack.
Fuck you, you’re not the one having it.

It’s weird how the littlest thing can compound into the biggest thing. Something about straw
and camels. He really thought he was doing alright. But it’s taking its toll on him. Everything
is taking its toll on him. He’s not cut out for this, no one is. It’s impossible not to feel like shit
all the time when the boy you like has a dozen other sets of eyes on him. It’s heartbreaking.
It’s not supposed to be this way.

Now is the moment where the flood gates have broken. The reality of it comes crashing down
on him. It’s hard to think rationally, because all he feels is desperation and anxiety. What if he
isn’t good enough? What if he’s kidding himself? He hates this show. He hates it so goddamn
much.

The thing that makes it the hardest is that he cares so much. It would be easy to just up and
leave this godforsaken show if he didn’t care about Yoongi. However, he adores Yoongi. He
wouldn’t even have these emotions if he didn’t care about him. It’s not Yoongi’s fault, it’s
Hoseok’s fault for falling for him.

It’s not just Yoongi. Sometimes all the panic and fear you have needs to manifest itself if you
keep it contained for too long. Hoseok despises rollercoasters, obviously they make him sick.
It’s just a tipping point for him to realize how sad he fucking is.

Hoseok honestly hates his life. He likes his friends, likes himself, likes dancing. But he hates
that he is no one, that he has no money, that he can’t even do what he wants. He hates that
lots of people in his scene still don’t respect him because of his sexuality. He hates how he’s
been beaten up more than once for doing nothing but exist.

He hates so many things. The only thing he dreams of is dancing, and it’s not a career for
him. That’s stupid. No one can match him. It’s not even arrogance, he really is just better. But
he has nothing to show for it. He doesn’t have a job, whenever he finds one, it pays next to
nothing, sucks out his soul, and then he’s forced to abandon it almost immediately after. He
lives alone in a shitty apartment with bugs and rodents. All of his friends have better things to
do in their lives than to hang out with him.

The only good thing he has is dancing. The fact that Yoongi might be the good thing he’s
missing gives everything such high stakes. He can’t afford to mess this up, because what is he
even going back to anyway? His life is going to be just as awful when he goes back to it.
He’s fallen deeply in love with the idea that Yoongi might be able to make it better.

“Can I give you a hug?” Taehyung asks. He doesn’t want to overstep or make it any worse,
but Hoseok really looks like he needs it. In his shoes, Taehyung surely would. Hoseok makes
a weak sound. He tests an arm around Hoseok’s shoulder, and he doesn’t immediately throw
Taehyung off. In fact, the feeling of it seems to ground him just a little bit.

Taehyung. Kind, dorky, weird, Taehyung. He doesn’t care that Hoseok is a mess. All he
wants is for him to calm down. All the friends he’s made at the mansion would probably do
the same. Jimin, Namjoon, Seokjin, Jungkook. The friends he has back home would probably
do the same if they were here with him right now. His parents, his family, they’d do anything
to cheer him up. The guys on his dance crew, they’d take a bullet for him. Anyone who tries
to mess with him, they’ll mess harder.

Things don’t really change when he feels Taehyung’s arm around him. He’s still depressed.
He’s probably going to continue to be. But he feels himself coming back to earth.
Yoongi does like him. More than anyone else, Yoongi likes him. They’re so good for each
other. He makes Yoongi smile and Yoongi makes him feel put together without it feeling like
he’s been forced into one piece. It’s going to be hard. He knows this is going to be hard.
Maybe it goes to shit. Maybe he fucks it up. But he knows for certain that he’s not deluding
himself. Yoongi is special. There is a reason for why all of this will be worth it if he sticks
with it. He doesn’t need to convince himself of that. There is a reason for why Yoongi and
Hoseok have met, maybe it’s not cosmic, but it’s in stone.

After every thunderstorm, the world settles down. The sky turns a milky white or soft grey.
From somewhere, a bird will make the first sound, and then nature is washed back to normal.
The air smells different than it did before, but the sky no longer fights against itself.

It’s another several minutes before Hoseok’s breathing relaxes. Steadily, steadily. Almost
returned to a normal state. His lungs hurt from scraping them with tears, and his eyes are raw.
But he settles like any thunderstorm.

He feels a very quick prickle all of a sudden and darts his head up to look at Taehyung.
“Where is Yoongi? He didn’t see, right? He didn’t see?” Hoseok asks. His voice is ragged
and there are no words to describe the terror in it.

“No one saw. They rushed everyone off to the next ride and said you had to use the
bathroom,” Taehyung says. “Yoongi doesn’t know.”

“He doesn’t? That’s good. That’s good,” Hoseok says, feeling his body instantly fall into a
state of acceptance. There is certainly still a weight on his chest, but Hoseok has enough of
his agency back to start wiping old tears off of his face. He realizes the taste in his mouth
which leads him to find that he’s still clutching the gum in his hand like a lifeline. He wastes
no time in getting it into his mouth to relieve the acidic taste. He’s so eager to get rid of the
taste that he almost eats the wrapper along with the gum. A wave of instant calm rushes over
him when the feeling of too cold mint hits him. It’s the smallest thing in the world, but not
having his mouth taste like vomit feels like he’s gained three years to his life.

His eyes are puffy and feel crusted with tears, but he looks around to see that he’s actually not
surrounded by an army of people anymore. It’s only Producer Dad, the medic, another person
he doesn’t know, and Taehyung. There isn’t even a camera. He’s never felt more relieved in
his entire life. No camera. No camera. No one to see him now however awful he must look.

There’s a bottle of Gatorade in front of him which the medic advises him to drink. He’ll get
to that in a moment when he’s sure that the mint has done its work. It’s almost a shock to see
that the sun is shining high like that. When you’re not having a good time, it kind of feels like
it’s owed to you for the sky to drain tears. The weather doesn’t really care how you feel. It
does what it wants and that’s how it will always be. There’s no way of saying if that’s
comforting or annoying.

“Why are you here?” Hoseok asks Taehyung softly.

“Well… I saw what happened. I didn’t mean to. I thought you just got motion sickness, and
wanted to see if you were okay, but then they all crowded around you and I realized you were
panicking. I didn’t want them to take advantage of you like this. I just didn’t want to leave
you, or for you to look up and not see a familiar face.”

“You’re-” Hoseok starts and then doesn’t know what to say. Not hours ago, he was thinking
to himself how jealous of Taehyung he was and here he is, having a panic attack with
Taehyung comforting him through it. He must be terrible. He must be the worst person in the
world to have ever thought any harsh thought against this man. “Thank you.”

“We’re roommates,” Taehyung says, with a smile. “What else would I have done?”

Hoseok gives him a real hug now. He gives Taehyung the biggest hug he can muster, and it
feels wonderful. He still feels like shit, but this is what he needed right now. Just someone
nice. Someone to give a crap about him beyond the sake of the show. He’s thankful that it’s
Taehyung and not Yoongi. Now that he’s left that headspace, he knows without a doubt that
Yoongi would be just as kind, just as concerned as Taehyung is. But it’s still kind of
embarrassing for the boy he likes to see him in this state, tear tracks down his face and
completely spaced out.

“Drink this,” the medic says again, holding the Gatorade bottle to him. He lets go of
Taehyung and does what she asks. At first he just takes a sip but the second that his lips hit
the bottle he realizes how thirsty he is. He downs the thing so fast that he gets some of it on
his face and down his neck. Sometimes you’re just too out of it to care. He doesn’t want to
know how bad he looks right now, but at least there’s no camera and no Yoongi to see.

She ends up checking his temperature, his heart rate, all the vitals that are probably vital,
given the name. Besides being spooked out of his wits, Hoseok is totally fine. She wants to
have him sit for a few minutes to make sure he’s okay, and Taehyung stays with him.

“I won’t tell Yoongi obviously,” Taehyung says. “But I thought I’d reassure you.”

“You’re like… you’re way too good of a person.”

“Hmm?”

“Tae, I don’t know if I should really say this, because it’ll make me sound kind of like an
asshole… but I’ve been super jealous of you. The way Yoongi is with you, it just pissed me
off. You’re the only person I’ve felt worried about, because he just, Yoongi just acts a certain
way around you. I felt bad about it, but I always thought, like, well I didn’t want to be your
friend because you’re my direct competition.”

Taehyung’s face is soft. He’s not very judgmental, he never has been. “Hoseok, I get it. I can
tell you like him. You like him more than anyone does. That’s okay. I like Yoongi, but I don’t
think I have any romantic feelings for him, I don’t think I was ever going to.”

“Fuck, why do you have to keep saying things to make you seem like a better person and me
a bigger asshole?” Hoseok puts his face in his hands and shakes his head for a moment before
he looks up to see Taehyung.
“I’m sorry,” Taehyung laughs sweetly. Hoseok puts his head on his shoulder and Taehyung
wraps an arm around him. It’s very close, and it feels very nice. It’s closer than Hoseok is
with his friends back home, but they’re all straight and too much closeness weirds them out a
little bit. Not in a toxic way, it would just be kind of weird.

“I kind of forgot about connecting with people other than Yoongi. That’s my fault. I’m
friends with a lot of the other bachelors, and it’s true friendship, I’m not faking it. Like,
Jimin, Namjoon, they’re my friends. But I think I’ve just been so focused on Yoongi that I
forgot that being friends with you is just as important as Yoongi.”

“We’re best friends now,” Taehyung says. “It’s too late, you can’t escape it.”

“Okay,” Hoseok nods and lifts his head to look at him. “We get to braid each other’s hair and
talk about our crushes now.”

Taehyung laughs. “Sounds like a plan. Let’s do that tonight, though. You have a date to get
back to.”

He nods, and lets Taehyung fix up his face the best that he can. First the hair, then he has
Producer Dad get them a tissue so that Hoseok can wash off his face.

“Cute!” Taehyung says it so genuinely that Hoseok blushes. It’s the little bit of color that he
needs in his cheeks.

“But be honest, Tae.”

“Honestly! Cute!” he says. Hoseok doesn’t know if he believes him. “Your eyes are puffy, but
it’s not a bad look. Yoongi will think you’re cute as long as you have a pulse, Hoseokie.”

He hopes that’s true. Hoseok is ordinarily pretty cute, but he’s just as ugly as everyone else
when he cries. Well maybe not Seokjin. He probably cries honey and it’s beautiful, that
motherfucker.

Hoseok doesn’t even know how long the two of them have been gone from the group when
Producer Dad leads the way to their location. Apparently, the party has broken for lunch. Lots
and lots of dense looking amusement park food is spread out over a few picnic benches that
make Hoseok’s stomach turn a little bit over when it comes into view. Yoongi is sitting across
from two people who aren’t of any real significance. He’s looking at his food with a grumpy
expression, and he wonders if it has to do with him.

“You good?” Taehyung asks just before they’re seen. A camera has already spotted them, but
the other contestants and Yoongi have not yet.

“I’m good, thank you for being a really good friend to me, Tae.” Taehyung squeezes his
shoulder and then runs over, immediately sitting down next to Jimin. Hmm.

Yoongi notices Taehyung and this causes his head to pop up like a chipmunk in order to find
Hoseok. When he sees him, he smiles like it’s all he lives for. Yoongi gestures him over and
Hoseok supposes that he can suffer the smell of greasy food if it means being with him.
“Where have you been?” Yoongi says. His voice is relieved, but also a little bit annoyed.

“I got a little sick, that’s all,” Hoseok tries to make it sound casual. Totally normal, just
vomited my entire stomach out. People thought I was dying. I also thought I was dying for a
little while.

“Hoseok!” Yoongi’s voice is definitely annoyed now. Not mean annoyed, just annoyed.
“Why did you get on the rides if you weren’t feeling good?”

“I didn’t want to be left out,” he says, feeling guilty.

“You’re such an idiot,” Yoongi says, and all the other contestants around turn to look at them.
Maybe Yoongi shouldn’t have said that so loud.

“It was stupid,” he says. He feels like a little kid being scolded by his teacher for acting out,
with all of his classmates there to hear it.

“Come on,” Yoongi says, pulling Hoseok away so they are not surrounded on all sides by the
other guys. That will only embarrass him further, and that isn’t really Yoongi’s goal. He finds
a space next to a fence and some vending machines that is at least out of view of the picnic
benches, but the cameraman follows them because that’s his job. “How are you? Are you
okay? What happened?”

“I just got sick.”

“You were gone for like an hour!” he says. “Are you sure you’re okay? Do you need to go
home, because I’ll-”

“I’m fine, Yoongi. Even got an okay from a medic-”

“There was a medic?” Now he looks more worried.

“Just… do you want me to describe, like, the consistency of my puke or what is it you’re
hoping to learn?”

“No, ew,” Yoongi says. “I hate thinking of you getting sick. I don’t want you to be sick or to
feel guilty.”

“I’m just not one for rollercoasters. Or anything that moves too quickly or goes too high.”

“Then why did you get on the rides?” Yoongi asks. How stupid is Hoseok actually? Yoongi
has known he’s pretty dumb for a while now, but it’s endearing. This just sounds like insanity
to him though. Hoseok shrugs, and Yoongi scoffs. “Were you trying to impress me? Is that
why you were putting yourself through that?”

“Something like that,” Hoseok says. Hoseok isn’t trying to make eye contact with him, which
is unusual for him. He must be ashamed, but Yoongi won’t have that at all.

“Oh, come on. I’m not mad at you for getting sick, Seok,” Yoongi says and he pulls Hoseok
into a hug. Hoseok’s heartbeat stops entirely. He is wholly and completely flatlining right
now. Not only is Yoongi hugging him, but he just called him Seok. He has officially given
him a nickname. Hoseok could jump for joy if it didn’t feel like his stomach would eject
itself from his body.

“I’m not mad at you at all,” Yoongi pulls himself away and leaves his hands on either of his
shoulders. They’re far enough apart that it doesn’t mean anything. He’s literally an arm’s
length away from the mouth that just called him Seok. “I just wish that you had told me
instead of pretending like you were okay with it.”

“It’s just that, you were so excited about bringing me here,” Hoseok says. “I didn’t want to let
you down by not enjoying it.”

Yoongi looks confused for a few seconds before he has a realization and he feels like an idiot.
Mostly Hoseok is the idiot, but he feels it too. He puts his head in his hands and shakes his
head. “Oh my god, you’re such a dipshit, Hoseok. I was excited to bring you here because a
few days ago I said I’d win you a stuffed animal at an amusement park. Not because I had
some sort of hyper-assumption that you like riding rollercoasters.”

“You what?”

“I can’t believe you,” Yoongi shakes his head. “Don’t you ever do something stupid to
impress me again, okay? Especially if it’s something pointless like riding a goddamn
amusement park ride. It is literally not important. Just don’t… lie about your interests or
disinterests. It doesn’t matter to me. I’m not all of a sudden going to think you have a magic
dick because you can ride a Tilt-A-Whirl.”

“I feel really stupid right now, if that helps.”

Yoongi hugs him again, and Hoseok could get used to this. He knows Yoongi is laying it on
thick because he can tell how upset Hoseok is, but he likes it. He likes how considerate and
kind Yoongi is to him even after he’s the idiot who just threw up because of a rollercoaster.

“I don’t want you to feel stupid ever. I just want us to be honest with each other, okay, Seok?”

There it is again. Hoseok smiles shyly. “I like it when you call me that,” he admits, in an
attempt to make it happen more often.

“Let’s rejoin the group now, and I’m going to win you a giant teddy bear. And you’re not
going to ride any more rides, or pretend you like something when you don’t. Okay… Seok?”

What Hoseok wouldn’t do to push Yoongi up against the nearest surface and kiss him until
his heart stops. Kissing Yoongi, his heart would stop pretty quickly. It wouldn’t be a long
kiss, but it would certainly be a good one. Now’s obviously not the time. They’re not there
yet, and Hoseok isn’t in his best state.

The two of them go back to everyone else, where the remnants of lunch are being inhaled by
Taehyung who hasn’t eaten. Hoseok will probably get hungry an hour or two from now when
his stomach has had time to settle with the fact that he’s not dying.
He wonders how much of what just happened was watched. They were partially obscured,
but were the six other guys witness to Yoongi giving him a hug? Hoseok is by no means the
only person who has hugged Yoongi. Jimin is the huggiest person in the world, he’ll hug you
for having a good hair day. He’ll hug you for opening a door for him. No one has been spared
from Jimin’s overflowing affection. Jimin would hug a baby eater if they didn’t push him
away every time he get’s close. It’s the sweetest thing.

Yoongi and Hoseok actually don’t get that close to each other usually. Whenever their skin
touches, it’s an electric shock, and those are pretty rare. Maybe because it’s weird to be that
close to the person you like when you haven’t done anything about it yet. Eventually, it
would be nice if they cuddled. Just cuddled. That’s all Hoseok really needs from a partner. He
could spend a lifetime with a person without sex as long as they get to cuddle. Let it not be
said that he doesn’t also want to fuck Yoongi, but he has other priorities.

Now that Yoongi thinks about it, he’s probably going to feel the traces of where his body
touched Hoseok until he goes to sleep. He’ll think about how Hoseok was too shocked to
even hug him back, and how nice he smells. He’ll think about the next time they touch and
how nice it is to feel Hoseok’s warmth.

“I’m not going to do any more rides. If anyone else wants to, you can absolutely keep going,
but it’s very hard to have a conversation when we’re fifty feet in the air and screaming so I’m
probably done for the day,” Yoongi says.

“What are we doing then?” The one nicknamed G asks.

“Carnival games,” Yoongi says, the ‘duh’ apparent in his voice though he doesn’t actually
vocalize it. You don’t go to amusement parks just for the rides, everyone knows that. Most of
the fun you have is spending too much money to play games for prizes that are not worth
how much you spent to win them.

Hoseok watches from a little way’s away as they clean up the food because he doesn’t think
he can handle the smell right now. There’s something sweet about the fact that Yoongi,
Taehyung, Jimin, and even some of the other contestants help to clean up. It’s nice. They
could easily just leave the job to the production staff, but they’re still humans. There’s only
one baby eater on this date and that’s A, who still helps clean up, but he does it very slowly.

Everyone’s very full from their lunch so the stroll over to the game part of the park is a
leisurely one. Hoseok doesn’t mind, he walks with Yoongi on his left and Taehyung on his
right. He totally adores Taehyung, it’s a very new feeling, because this morning, he was full
of nothing but raging jealousy, but crying it all out has made him clear his brain of rot. He’s
the nicest guy in the entire world. He’s so, so funny, but so, so weird. It’s uncertain whether
he lives on the same plane as everyone else. Hoseok wouldn’t be surprised if he sees colors
no one else does. Taehyung is special and wonderful. Whoever he ends up with, be it another
contestant or someone else entirely, will be the luckiest person in the world. Except Hoseok,
of course.

Yoongi peels off momentarily, and gestures for Producer Dad. “Hey, Producer Dad, I’m about
to threaten you so come a little closer.” Why on earth anyone would ever actually approach
someone who has just said that to them is beyond explanation, but Producer Dad does it
anyway. “I will literally start chopping off fingers if I’m not given infinite money to play
every single carnival game here.”

“You’re… you’re threatening me over skee ball right now?”

“I’ve never had enough money to play for the really big prizes before. This may be my only
chance to do it. If I don’t get to play these games until I win at least one giant banana, I swear
to god, I’m leaving the show.”

“You are the bane of my existence and I cannot begin to explain how much I dislike you,” he
says, and Yoongi knows that he truly means every single word. It’s quite touching. “But
alright.”

Yoongi smiles widely and he turns to look at the others. It’s weird that so many people have
tagged along on his date with Hoseok. Why are you here?

“We’ve hit the jackpot, boys,” Yoongi says. Producer Dad has gone off in some direction to
retrieve the tickets and Yoongi looks at Hoseok excitedly. Sadly, he’s not looking back at
him, he’s looking at Taehyung. They must have had some sort of life changing connection
while Hoseok was sick, and Yoongi thinks that’s kind of cute. Maybe they’ll talk about it
later. He does wish he had been there for Hoseok instead of Tae, but he can’t change the past.

Producer Dad comes back holding what is basically a brick of red tickets. Hoseok fully
salivates. No one has ever been presented with as beautiful a sight as this many game tickets.
He might actually shed a single dramatic tear.

“You mean… we get to spend… all the tickets?” Jimin looks so excited he might burst and
Yoongi is disappointed that Jimin is too old to be adopted. He would if he could. He wants to
make that boy dinner and kiss his cheeks.

“Go wild,” Producer Dad says. He wouldn’t say such a thing to Yoongi, but everyone likes
Jimin because he’s Jimin. Taehyung gives Hoseok a knowing smile, before he and Jimin
share a look. He then grabs a fistful of tickets and rushes them off in one direction. Yoongi
watches them go and thinks of what Hoseok had said. Maybe Jimin and Taehyung…? But
what about Jungkook…?

Yoongi is considering how he’ll have to break it to the other four guys, A, G, M, and R, that
he is now going to completely abandon them to hang out with Hoseok. Hoseok does it for
him by taking his hand and pulling him the opposite way as Jimin and Taehyung. Yoongi lets
it happen because he’s in bliss just holding Hoseok’s hand.

The place is enormous, the carnival games seem to go for miles. The fact that the park is fully
staffed when they’re the only ones here must mean that the show has a bigger budget than
Yoongi really gives them credit for. If they have this much money than why doesn’t the
mansion have a chef? Or, more accurately, if they have this much money why is Seokjin not
being paid to be the chef. Namjoon sure is one lucky sonofabitch.

“Which one do you want, Seok?” Yoongi asks looking around at the games. As a kid,
Yoongi’s favorite part of going to the amusement park was always the games, but they cost
too much money, so he only ever got to play one or two each time. That’s barely enough to
win a bouncy ball. Since it was only an annual occurrence, Yoongi could probably count the
number of times he’s played these games by taking his shoes off.

“You promised me a teddy bear. The bigger the better. I’m going to name it Yoongi.”

“Would you settle for a cat?” Yoongi asks, looking over at one of the only games he thinks
he’ll be reasonably good at which is basketball. Not like actual basketball, because he’d have
way more confidence in that. Just a single hoop that’s an awkward height and angle. There is
no giant teddy bear at that particular stand but there is a giant cat, and it kind of looks like
him. The name Yoongi would suit it.

Hoseok makes a hissing sound. “You drive a hard bargain. But alright.”

Yoongi smiles and walks over to the basketball game, gingerly holding giant bundle of tickets
that Producer Dad gave him. It should be enough for him to fuck up several times and still
get something enormous. He will ask for more tickets if he has to, he is not afraid of pulling
out his signature pout. It might be dangerous to pout in front of Hoseok though, he doesn’t
know what might happen if he were to see that.

“Hey Yoongi,” Hoseok says, once they’re standing in front of the game, and an attendant is
looking at Yoongi expectantly.

“Yes?”

“What are you going to tell the other guys when you win me something?”

Yoongi purses his lips. He had not thought of that. He really hoped that this kind of date
would have been with just Hoseok. Now he has to figure out how to appease everyone, but
also make sure Hoseok knows he’s special.

“I’ll… win one and then suddenly become very bad at playing the games.”

“You are not very clever,” Hoseok says. “I mean that in a nice way.”

“You better watch your mouth or I’m giving the giant cat to Taehyung.”

Hoseok jaw gets very firm and Yoongi laughs at him. He hands tickets to the game attendant
and decides not to let Hoseok off the hook for several seconds. “You’re not actually jealous
of him, are you?”

“Should I not be?” Hoseok asks, looking self-conscious. He knows Taehyung doesn’t have
feelings for Yoongi, but he has no idea how Yoongi feels.

“If I were you…? Not at all,” Yoongi says.

“Yeah?” Hoseok feels very timid. After his little episode earlier, he needs a lot of reassurance.
Yoongi doesn’t even know about the panic attack, and he doesn’t think he wants him to know.
Maybe at some point he’ll talk about it, but for now that’s between he and Taehyung.
 Yoongi rolls his eyes and then pulls Hoseok to him so that he can whisper in his ear without
being heard even by the mic. “It’s you, Seok. No one else exists. I promise. But don’t make
them too jealous.”

“Just jealous enough?” Hoseok says, absolutely mesmerized with Yoongi when he pulls
away. His heart has left his body. Yoongi is hitting all of the pressure points that he really
needed today, and he doesn’t even know how much that means to him. Yoongi’s a mind
reader. There’s no other way for him to say all the right things all the time.

Yoongi beams at him, and the look he receives says it all. Oh. It is Hoseok. He must be an
idiot. Of course it’s him.

“Just jealous enough.”

Hoseok still doesn’t know how he’s going to survive this show, but he feels a sense of
calmness now looking at Yoongi. Does he even need to worry about anyone else? How can it
be a week and a half since he met Yoongi? What could possibly be so special about him that
made Yoongi fall for him? What makes him so special that Yoongi doesn’t even bother
looking at anyone else?

Yoongi might be a mistake but if he is, he’s the best mistake Hoseok will ever make. It really
is hard to imagine he’s a mistake. The energy that Hoseok gets from being around him is
indescribable. How can that be a mistake? The way he feels for Yoongi isn’t temporary, it’s
not fake. Yoongi is what he needs in his life right now, and god does he want for Yoongi to be
the one he needs forever.

Hoseok needs Yoongi… and a little bit of Taehyung. With a dash of Seokjin. And where
would he be without Namjoon’s voice, or Jimin’s hugs, or Jungkook’s small smiles?
Maybe… maybe he’s content.

He’ll probably have a subtle panic, a vacant spike until he leaves the show side by side with
Yoongi, but even in that ever-narrowing possibility that Yoongi isn’t the one, knowing people
like Taehyung is worth all of the struggle. That’s all he can think now as Yoongi takes a
basketball and starts making shots in order to win him a giant cat named Yoongi. Maybe what
he feels right now is real. Maybe this is how he creates his own happiness.

Chapter End Notes

I hope this chapter wasn't too painful. Today's comment prompt is for you to tell me
your favorite episode of Run BTS and I will rate all of your answers using the
WeRateDogs scale.
 Gossip
Chapter Summary

Everyone is falling in love with everyone.

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

{{

(The Bachelor: Boys Will Be Boys SK Interview Min Yoongi #21)

I think I should be scared of how fast I’m falling for Hoseok. I think that’s what I’m
supposed to feel. Just unending terror like it’s all happening so soon and so easily.

But I don’t really feel that. I feel very warm and nice whenever I’m around him. He’s like my
best friend. I think I could be friends with him for the rest of my life ‘cause we have
everything to talk about and we feed off of each other’s humor so easily. It’s not difficult to
read him or to relate to him. He makes me happy. I actually don’t like being around people
that much. I prefer to be by myself, or maybe I just have trouble finding people I like enough
to be around them. Being around some of these people really does make me happy, but the
way that Hoseok makes me feel is beyond that. It’s not a feeling I’ve ever even had before,
it’s in my stomach but feels like it’s floating up high like a balloon.

I think we could be just friends. In a really sad world… But I don’t want to just be his friend.
I want him close to me. (Looking distantly at a space behind the camera) It’s so hard to look
at him and not think about kissing him.

I’m more afraid of putting my emotions on a show than I am afraid of him. It’s… weird. My
love life is something I usually keep very private. I know this show is a ridiculous concept for
someone like that. But it’s weird. On the very first day, I told all the guys I wouldn’t kiss
them unless I felt something real, and that’s true, but more than anything, I don’t want
something like that caught on camera. That’s something special for two people who like each
other, and I just feel weird about putting it on display. Even though I haven’t kissed Hoseok,
it feels like I’m putting way too much of myself on screen whenever he’s around. It’s hard to
bottle myself up when he brings out sides of me I didn’t know I had.

I want so much to push forward and have more and more with Hoseok, but I hate that the
really private moments we have aren’t private at all. I feel like we have so many deep things
to talk about that we keep inside of ourselves because neither of us wants to put too much on
the line for everyone to see. But I want all of that stuff so much. I want the dark things and
the sad days, and the stupid things he’s too embarrassed to tell anyone about.
 I like Hoseok a lot. An intense amount. I’ve been in a few relationships but even after being
with someone for a month, I never felt this way about them. I don’t know that I’ve ever felt
this way at all, actually. It’s stupid because I hardly know him. How could I possibly feel this
way about someone I barely know? Except, in the week I’ve known him, I’ve told him more
about myself than I’ve ever told anyone else. [Why can you not stop smiling?] I just have
jitters all over me all the time. I don’t even understand it.

I wish I could talk to someone about him. I want to see my friends back home and tell them
all about him, or my brother, or like someone on the street. It’s weird sitting here and saying
it for a camera. This is the stuff I usually need to be too drunk to drive in order to start talking
about.

What is there to say that you can’t tell from seeing Hoseok and I together? He’s the color of a
rainbow. He’s loud and stupid. He’s funny, serious, smart, kind. I wish I was more like him. I
wish I had his innate brightness and easy charm. He makes everyone’s day better by being
so… just wonderful. Wonderful Hoseok.

I seriously cannot believe I feel this way. Oh my god. It’s so soon. What’s wrong with me? I
don’t know how he’s possible. I don’t understand where he came from, how he gets to me. I
don’t ever want to understand him, I just want him to make me fly.

**Notes from the director: Anyone else remember two weeks ago when we all thought that he
might be an emotionless cyborg? What ever happened to that guy? Sometimes I miss him.

}}

Last night, Hoseok had every intention of going up to his room after the group date and
gossiping with Taehyung into all hours of the night. That was his exact plan, he really did
mean for it. But that was before he saw Yoongi in the living room trying to figure out what
channel he wanted. So, Hoseok went in to help, because Yoongi hadn’t used the TV yet and
didn’t know where anything was.

Hoseok doesn’t remember what channel they landed on because Yoongi’s eyes intoxicated
him. He looked at his pretty eyes, and they talked. Just like they do in the mornings, they
talked for hours and hours. Everyone else had already gone to bed, but still they talked. It’s so
easy to make both of them laugh, and they have so many things in common, while also being
so drastically different from each other.

Hoseok thinks about him as he slowly wakes up. He and Yoongi ended up sharing a blanket
last night and they got so close to each other that he could feel his breath. Hoseok wouldn’t
have needed a blanket with how close they were. It makes him shiver from how cold he is
now, so he tries to pull his comforter up, but it’s not there. Also, there’s a leg in between his
own legs that he’s pretty sure is not his.

Instead of spasming up in shock like he wants to, his eyes jump open with confusion. Whose
leg is that, and why is it there? This doesn’t feel a whole lot like a bed at all.

Of course it’s Yoongi. They must have fallen asleep on the couch. That would explain why he
doesn’t remember going upstairs last night. From his position, Hoseok can’t get a really close
look at him, since Yoongi’s head is on the other side of the couch. They somehow got their
legs tangled in the night. Hoseok doesn’t dare move his body, because he has to get a good
look at Yoongi’s sleeping face before he dares disturb him.

He slowly rises on his elbow to peak over at him. Yoongi is hogging most of the blanket,
sleeping on his side, and holding the blanket to his chest like a prayer. His face almost makes
Hoseok choke. Yoongi is dead asleep, and his face looks so blissfully unconcerned with the
world. His cheeks are so fucking squishy, Hoseok just wants to kiss them and hold his face.
There’s something sweet about his eyebrows that he’s noticed before but it’s easier to take
note of when he’s asleep. He can look at him however much he wants because Yoongi isn’t
conscious to question him about it.

He doubts Yoongi would ever let a camera willingly see him like this, snuggled up on the
couch. He very much hopes that Yoongi is okay with Hoseok seeing him this way, because if
all goes according to plan, he’ll have to get used to it.

He doesn’t dare moving around too much, though he does wish he knew what time it is. The
only indicator is the light coming from the glass door to the porch, but since it’s summer, the
sun rises early which makes it impossible to tell what time it actually is. It could be anytime
between about four in the morning and nine at night.

No one else is awake, though. Hoseok would be able to hear them if they were in the kitchen,
but he can’t turn his head in that direction because humans don’t bend like that. Clearly, it’s
not too late in the day. It’s weird that his body has grown accustomed to waking up this early.
This wouldn’t be possible if he was in his own place. He has to set up three different alarms
in order to wake up every day. People who like their lives don’t have to set up so many
alarms. What does that say about him now?

His eyes still feel a little raw from yesterday. He cried a lot and for a really long time. Thank
god for Taehyung, because there wasn’t a camera for most of it. How terrifying is Taehyung
that he was able to push those cameras away? Yesterday clearly would have been reality TV
gold, and yet he got them to listen to him like it was nothing. Tae is the kind of guy who
looks like a sweet little puppy, but oh boy, Hoseok doesn’t want to get on his bad side.

Hopefully when he showers later his eyes will stop feeling dry. Then again, maybe just
looking at a sleeping Yoongi will cure all his ills. He’s certain that if he was currently
suffering from pneumonia, looking at Yoongi would eradicate it.

There’s actually not a whole lot to do when you’re glued in place, afraid to move for fear of
waking up the most beautiful boy on earth. He doesn’t have his phone; he can’t very well turn
on the TV when the remote is probably somewhere lost in the cushions. He just has to sit and
lie here, waiting for Yoongi to wake up or for someone to come downstairs and necessitate
him having to hide.

So, Hoseok thinks about what his life will be like on the outside. Even if the show isn’t super
popular, people will know who he is. He might be noticed by someone important. It’s wishful
thinking, surely, but there is a part of him that wonders if he’ll earn a career after this show.
There’s no doubt in his mind that Yoongi is about to be a famous rapper, but maybe Hoseok
will be able to ride a little bit of that too. Not that he wants to leapfrog on Yoongi’s fame, but
this show gives them both the ability to be seen. Maybe he’ll get as lucky as Yoongi does.

What is his mom going to think of Yoongi? She’ll probably love him. He’s never brought
home a boyfriend before, but she’s never been terribly against it. Her biggest complaint will
probably be that Yoongi is too skinny and needs to eat more of her cooking, because that’s
usually what she says about him whenever he sees her. His dad will be very quiet, but cordial.
Hoseok is unsure if he’s accepted his sexuality or if he’s just complacent with it. Either way,
he’s not the type to be rude, and it will likely never become a point of contention. His sister
will immediately prefer Yoongi to him, and that’s just something he’ll have to live with.

Yoongi would fit in quite nicely into his life. On a literal sense, he would not fit into his
apartment because it’s tiny and gross. It’s not built for one person, let alone two. Also, he
would never ever bring someone he likes as much as Yoongi into a building where new
species of cockroaches are spit out like reality TV shows.

Yoongi would, however, fit in with his hobbies and his routines. They’re both okay cooks,
and Yoongi says that together they make a mediocre chef and that sounds like it would be
interesting. They like the same music and the same movies. They have different interests, but
there’s no reason they couldn’t blend them together. Hoseok loves the outdoors and being
outside, and as a testament to how pale Yoongi is, he hates the outdoors, but if there’s anyone
who can convince Yoongi to play a game or take a walk, it’s him.

They’re going to be so goddamn cute. Every other couple is going to be jealous and wish
they had what he and Yoongi have. He smiles with the thought and feels Yoongi stirring now.
His legs move around and Hoseok cannot look away from him. He’s very slow in waking up.
First, he has a small noise in his throat, then his legs search around, then he takes a big long
yawn, and finally, he starts to blink his eyes open. He’s a little puffy from just waking up so
his eyes barely open wide enough for Hoseok to see the dark brown of his irises. He doesn’t
look surprised or even concerned that Hoseok is at the opposite end of the couch.

“What time is it?” Yoongi’s morning voice is deeper than his normal one, and it makes
Hoseok bite his tongue. He really should thank his lucky stars that he didn’t wake up this
morning with a boner, because that happens quite often, and it would have been weird in
front of Yoongi.

“No idea.”

“What day is it?”

“Friday.” That much he knows because yesterday was the group date and tomorrow is his
solo date with Seokjin. Hoseok feels so good about his standings on the show right now that
the only thing he’s jealous about concerning that date is that he won’t get to hang out with
either Seokjin or Yoongi while they’re gone.

“Mm.” He starts making a concerted effort to untangle himself from Hoseok only for him to
physically pull on his legs to get him closer. Hoseok is so disarmed by it that his heart
stutters. He comes to have his legs on Yoongi’s lap, face only a few breaths away from
Yoongi’s. He’s having weird emotions in his gut right now. This seems like the kind of
position to kiss someone in…

“You talk in your sleep,” he says.

“I what?”

“It was kind of cute,” Yoongi says, and puts his hand on Hoseok’s shoulder. They’re so close
to each other, he’d just have to lean in a little bit… “It was really quiet, I don’t even know
what you were trying to say.”

“Was it… did I keep you awake?” he asks, now worried because he recalls Yoongi telling
him that his deal breaker is snoring. If he does in fact talk in his sleep, that seems like a pretty
big deal.

“No, it was really quiet,” Yoongi shakes his head. “Besides, I like hearing your voice.”

He blushes and tries to change the subject. “We should shower,” Hoseok says. Once he says
it, he hears how it sounds and his eyes bug out so far that they practically fall out of his skull.
“Separately! In different showers!”

Yoongi laughs at him, a nice little morning laugh that comes from his chest. “Are you trying
to tell me I smell bad?”

“I’m trying to say that I think I smell bad.”

Yoongi likes how shiny Hoseok’s face is in the morning, it’s endearing. His hair looks
perfectly fine, and yeah, he could smell better, but it’s not terrible. “I like the way you smell,
Seok,” Yoongi says, and he says that way too close to his ear. Yoongi’s is so close to him,
Hoseok is practically on his lap, his heart is convulsing, he’s about to die, it’s all Yoongi’s
fault.

“Are you trying to kill me?” he asks, very seriously. Yoongi smirks because he is completely
aware of what he’s doing. Hoseok’s eyes linger of his lips for a fraction of a second before
they go back up to look at the devil himself.

“We’ll both take a shower, an then I’ll meet you down here in half an hour for breakfast,
okay?” Yoongi doesn’t need to get any makeup done for the day, which is a big relief. Just a
day to be free.

Hoseok nods with too much of his body. Before he knows it, Yoongi is already standing up
and stretching out his body. He’s not tall, but Hoseok isn’t much taller. It’s adorable seeing
how gorgeous and sexy this man is and then you remember his actual height. He’s just so
special.

Yoongi holds his hand out to help Hoseok up. He doesn’t need it, but he isn’t going to say no
to holding his hand even if it’s only for a moment. They stand and look at each other for
several moments past too long. The cameras are going to eat this scene up. Hoseok just can’t
look away. Maybe it’s because it’s the morning and his inhibitions are down, or maybe
Yoongi really is just that pretty.

Eventually, the two of them make their way towards the stairs. Hoseok really is thankful that
no one else woke up to see the two of them like that. Even though they’re both still fully
clothed and obviously just fell asleep talking, it’s not the kind of situation you want people in
the Bachelor house to walk in on.

Hoseok stops on the second-floor landing, while Yoongi makes to keep going up. Before he
can, though, Hoseok grabs his arm and whispers, “you’re a hypocrite, you know that,
Yoongi?”

“Why?” he asks.

“Because you keep calling me dangerous.”

Yoongi gives him a squishy smile but doesn’t respond. Hoseok’s going to think about that
face when he’s got alone time in the shower.

The rest of Friday passes with ease. Hoseok actually gets a little more time with people other
than Yoongi today, and he doesn’t think that’s a bad thing. It’s actually kind of nice to breathe
freely outside of Yoongi. That’s not to say that Yoongi is stifling, but he really does need to
unwind and exist amongst friends for a little while. No matter how much you like another
person, you can’t be around them every waking moment.

It would be incorrect to say that Hoseok is cured of jealousy. He knows what Yoongi said to
him, and he believes him. It’s you, Seok, Yoongi said, no one else exists. That’s probably
going to make him float for the rest of his continued existence. Yoongi having the confidence
this early on to say that it’s only Hoseok? Who wouldn’t soar? However, and Hoseok really
does try to hold it back, he’s still going to have a glimmer of jealousy until they’re away from
the mansion entirely. It’s not jealousy over any particular person, because he knows Yoongi
doesn’t like anyone the way he likes him. It’s jealousy because there are several people in the
mansion who don’t know that Yoongi is spoken for.

It’s still a little bit unclear if Seokjin knows that Namjoon likes him, but he is most definitely
becoming very close to Yoongi. Hoseok isn’t worried about Yoongi falling for Seokjin, he’s
just worried that Seokjin will think he has a chance with him. Seokjin acts pretty much the
same way around Yoongi as he does with everyone else, which makes him hard to get a read
on.

Over the course of the day, Hoseok plays many, many, many games of ping pong with Jimin.
Everyone decided that having a pool table that converts into a ping pong table means that
they have a fancy ping pong table. This is partially due to how many different people
Namjoon accidentally injured with pool balls, but also because ping pong is superior. Jimin
accidentally hits a ping pong ball into the face of a baby eater and that doesn’t go over well.
It’s a ping pong ball, there’s no way it hurts, but the screaming that he does afterwards will
most definitely make the episode for next Friday. Hoseok hugs Jimin to make sure he’s okay,
and even though he’s on the other side of the house from the incident, Yoongi makes plans to
send A, the screamer, home.
Hoseok and Taehyung don’t find time to have their gossip hour until the next day, after
Yoongi has already left on his solo date with Seokjin. Hoseok wonders how Yoongi plans on
setting Seokjin’s sails towards Namjoon. Today will be a good day for him to do it, and he
has enough confidence in Yoongi to say that progress will be made.

While everyone else is downstairs, Hoseok and Taehyung sneak upstairs to hang out in their
shared room. E went home last week so there’s only four people in this room rather than the
original five, but the two other guys are kind of assholes so avoiding them is a prime
directive. One of them is King Dickhead himself, but his number of allies is growing thin.

“It almost kind of feels like Yoongi had already picked you on night one,” Taehyung says. He
has a habit of making himself comfortable, even if it’s Hoseok’s bed and not his. He doesn’t
really have a problem with it, though there is definitely a different person he’d rather have in
his bed, but that’s in a different context.

When they’re alone like this, no microphones, no cameras, Hoseok feels safe. He feels a little
bit like a prisoner in this house sometimes, but this moment is the least pressure he’s had on
him not just since beginning this show, but possibly in months. All he’s doing is having a
chat with his friend and there are no ulterior motives or distractions. He doesn’t have a job to
worry about or anything. Just him and Taehyung.

“We had a really good conversation that night,” Hoseok nods. “Obviously I don’t know how
it went with other people, but there’s just absolutely no way I can see anyone having a
connection like I did with him on night one. It felt like we already knew each other. Maybe in
some past life we had already met, and we just had to catch up in this one.”

“That’s so cute! I just wonder, why didn’t he give you the first rose then?” Taehyung asks.

“I actually asked him not to,” Hoseok says, feeling exactly like a teenager at a slumber party.
Come to think of it, Taehyung is the first person finding out about this. It’s so monumental in
the canon he’s made of himself and Yoongi that he wants to laugh while saying it. “I was just
playing around with him because I could see how responsive he was to my confidence, so I
just told him not to give me the first rose, and it worked. I knew it was going to work as soon
as I saw his face. God, he’s pretty.”

Taehyung makes an excited gesture with his hands, “Oh my gosh, it’s so much deeper than I
even thought. You’re made for each other! I can practically hear the wedding bells already,
Hoseokie.”

“We certainly like each other very much. Actually, on our group date, once we got to the
carnival games…” Hoseok looks over to the dresser he shares with one of the other
contestants, on which sits an enormous, Jimin-sized stuffed cat. The cat’s name is Yoongi,
and the squishiness of his face is very much after the heart of his namesake. “He told me,
basically that I’m… that I’m the only contestant in his eyes.”

“Whoa.” Taehyung makes eye contact with him to express his feelings. “He said that? Our
Yoongi?”

Hoseok bites his lip to stop his smile from swallowing his face. “Yeah, he did.”
“You two really are made for each other,” Taehyung says. “Do you even know how different
he is with you? He’s really nice, I mean that, but around you it’s like he loses every single
barrier he has. You make him act like he’s just downed two coffees. He’s very soft, very… I
don’t know the word… like he’s holding himself back. But you make him come to life. It’s so
obvious.”

“Stop it, you’re going to make me cry, I like him so much.”

“This show is going to be so different for people to watch then other versions. There’s not
going to be a whole lot of nail-biting moments where you wonder who’s getting sent home,
who’s going to win. Everyone is just going to be rooting you two on like racehorses.”

“It’s nice,” Hoseok says, “It’s a lot of pressure, but I like knowing how he feels about me. I’m
not against the world knowing the way we get to each other.”

“Yeah,” Taehyung says, and he gives him a side hug. “I’m so happy for you. You deserve
him, or I guess, he deserves you.”

“He’s so easy to talk to. You’re easy to talk to as well, but I guess there’s just something that
clicks between us. I’ve never felt like this before. We’re two weeks in, actually, not even two
weeks yet! But it’s just something that feels right. I guess, I don’t know. I’ve never had so
much fun in a relationship before. I feel like I could tell him everything. You’ve seen my
guts, Tae, though I wouldn’t have chosen for it to happen the way it did, but I could share
everything with him.”

“How are you, by the way? I know we’re talking Yoongi, but just pause for a second, you’re
okay, right? You’re good?”

Hoseok nods, “I’m good. Everything just hurt all at once. Life, Yoongi, my fear of
rollercoasters, it all compounded until I couldn’t deal with it anymore, so I imploded.”

Taehyung nods, “I get it. I’ve had that happen to me, but I saw how hurt you were and the
camera and I just… I got this sort of rage at the idea of them profiting off of you.”

“That means everything to me. I kind of adore you.” Taehyung blinks at him and leaves it in
the air for a moment. Hoseok doesn’t need him to respond to know how Taehyung feels. Not
that it’s a bad thing, but he seems like the kind of person who would tell his boyfriend he
loves them on the second date. He’s just so bursting with affection that he has to give it away
or else he’ll burst.

“What are you and Yoongi going to name your kids?” Taehyung asks. It comes out of
nowhere and causes Hoseok to punch him in the arm repeatedly.

“Shut up!” he says, to which Taehyung just laughs and tries to push him off. “Okay, dogs
first. What are you going to name your dogs?”

“How do you know we won’t get a cat?”

“I love cats.”
“We’ll probably get a dog.”

“Why did you bring up cats?”

Hoseok shrugs.

“But you do see yourself getting a dog with him, then?”

“Tae, I can picture everything with him,” Hoseok replies. “It’s far off in the future, don’t get
me wrong. But I could see myself beside Yoongi through everything. There’s not a doubt in
my mind that it could work out, and by god I hope it does.”

Hoseok hasn’t spent a lot of time with Taehyung up until this point so he did not know that
Taehyung is almost as big of a hugger as Jimin. Now, Jimin hugs are more random, but
Taehyung sure does love to show affection, and Hoseok is okay with it, because he’s nice. So
he just lets Taehyung wrap himself around his shoulders. It feels a little bit like having a
younger brother, which he never got to have, and it’s nice. He’s one of the best friends he’s
ever had and that’s saying a lot because Hoseok has known a few people since he was in
second grade.

“What about you, Tae? Who’s caught your attention. I know someone must have, because
there’s too many pretty people in this house for you not to feel something for someone.”

Taehyung frowns when he pulls away, “I think my problem might be that I like far too many
people.”

“Oh?”

“Well… two isn’t that many, right? I just have to get to know them better and then I’ll know
which one I like?”

“Sure, of course,” Hoseok nods. “Who are those two people? Or I guess, who is the other
person besides Jimin?”

Taehyung smiles shyly. Yeah, he definitely likes Jimin. That’s fair, Hoseok also likes Jimin
and if Yoongi didn’t exist, he would probably want Jimin just like Taehyung does. It’s weird
to think about. He already sees everyone as his friend, he doesn’t feel even the slightest lilt of
romance to any of his new friends.

“Jungkookie,” Taehyung says.

Hoseok really was meant to be a matchmaker in another life. He and Yoongi had discussed
two possibilities. It turns out, they were both very much right. “I could’ve guessed.”
Taehyung can’t suppress his stupidly cute smile, and Hoseok wants to hold him forever, he’s
so cute. “What is it you like about those two?”

Taehyung sighs, “What isn’t great about Jimin?” He becomes conscious of the volume of his
voice, even though he knows everyone else is downstairs. He goes down to whisper as an
extra precaution against any eavesdroppers. “He’s so bubbly and exciting. He’s really
outgoing, and he can make any situation fun and exciting. I love how much joy he gets out of
everything. And obviously, he’s really cute.”

“Not a bad ass.”

“It’s very nice,” he nods. “And Jungkook… well Jungkook was definitely shyer at first. I
didn’t think I’d ever learn a thing about him. But as you’ll know… that’s not who he really is.
Jungkook is the funniest person I’ve ever met. He’s so cool. He was the kid in school that
everyone wanted to be friends with, because he’s just got all of these cool ideas and talents.
I’m slightly intimidated by him, because I’ve yet to discover something he can’t do.”

“You could give Jungkook a violin and he’d compose a symphony in under an hour.”

“It does seem that way, doesn’t it?” He hums. “Every time I’m around Jungkook, or Jimin, I
just never want to leave them. I want to be around both of them forever.”

“They’re both really amazing,” Hoseok nods. “What do you guys talk about when you’re
together?”

He smiles fondly, and Hoseok wonders if that’s the same expression he has whenever he talks
about Yoongi. “Well, it’s easy to talk about anything. Jimin always has good stories, you
should sit down with him sometime and listen to him. I think… sometimes I notice things
about people that I don’t think most people do. Jimin will relive memories only like twenty
seconds after they happen, like he’ll act something out to you that just happened, that you
were part of. And he’s really bad at acting things out but he’ll give it a go. It’s so weird, I
don’t know why he does it, but I love it. And Jungkook is ridiculous. I can’t turn my back on
him without him doing something either incredibly amazing or incredibly stupid, usually
both. The thing I like about both of them is that I’d never get bored around either. They
always want to do something, try something, talk, joke. There’s no repetition, no rest. Well
except for that one time I was making lunch and Jungkook fully just fell asleep at the
counter.”

Hoseok’s smile is invincible as Taehyung talks. It’s so easy to tell how enchanted he is.
There’s nothing like hearing someone talk about people they like, because you can see the joy
and innocence in their eyes. He wonders what it’s like to see either of those two through
Taehyung’s eyes. He hasn’t noticed the little details about them that he has, and that’s how he
knows that Taehyung’s feelings are real. He notices the small stupid things about Yoongi in
just the same way.

If you look away from Yoongi for too long and then come back, he’ll make a weird face with
a flat frown that Hoseok doesn’t understand and never will. On the other hand, if you look at
him too long he’ll never make eye contact with you ever again. He struggles with eye
contact, sometimes you’ll look directly at him and he’ll be looking at a spot right behind you.
He makes more of an effort around Hoseok than he does around others, or at least, that’s what
believes. He also tends to scrunch up his entire face as a reaction to anything and everything,
good or bad. He’s got two different voices, his serious, important one, and his head voice
which is the joking and expressive one. He can slip seamlessly into either and they both turn
Hoseok on a little bit too much.
Hoseok chuckles to himself as he thinks about Yoongi. It’s almost amazing how this show
has managed to find so many people who are all falling for each other rather than the one
person they were all supposed to like. If he weren’t so perfect, Hoseok would feel self-
conscious that he actually chose to invest himself in The Bachelor himself. The fact that
Namjoon needed all of about two days to fall for Seokjin is something, but then there’s
Taehyung who likes two people. He’s going to have to spend some time with Jungkook and
Jimin to see what’s mutual and what isn’t. If either of them dare to not like Taehyung back,
he’ll probably hate them. Taehyung is officially his younger brother and he deserves all of the
good things in the entire world. The very prospect of not reciprocating a crush from
Taehyung? Blasphemy!

“You’re going to make someone so happy, Tae,” Hoseok says softly. “I can’t even tell you
how great you are, and I’ve only known you for a little while, but if anything ever happened
to you I would ruin anyone who hurt you. Like seriously, if Jungkook or Jimin ever broke
your heart, I would break their arms.”

Taehyung blushes, and Hoseok can tell even though he’s not looking at his face. Taehyung
close to him, physically, in a way that if he were Yoongi, Hoseok would die. Their backs are
pressed against the wall with someone’s head on the others shoulder, but it’s uncertain whose.
This is how he sat to watch movies with either of his parents when he was a kid.

“I wish I knew who I like more. I don’t know that I do like either of them more. They both
make me feel things.”

“I don’t know what to tell you. I literally couldn’t tell you who’s better, or who you would fit
with better, because I can see you with both.”

“It’ll become clear, won’t it? Eventually, I’ll have the answer?”

“Of course! You’ll know,” Hoseok says, “And Yoongi will keep all of you here for as long as
he can so that you can figure it out, though I’ll confirm it with him just to make sure. He
wants to keep people he likes here so that he’s not surrounded by baby eaters, but also, he
sees you as a friend, and he doesn’t want to get rid of his friends until he has no other
choice.”

“Perfect,” he says. “Gives me enough time to get someone to fall in love with me.”

“Should be easy, you’re pretty great,” Hoseok says.

Taehyung rolls his eyes. “If he’s keeping all the good ones on, how long do you think it will
take for Namjoon to actually make a move on Seokjin?”

“Ah, so it’s not just me and Yoongi who have noticed.”

It’s not just the way that Namjoon looks at him like he holds the answers to the universe. It’s
also the fact that Namjoon hangs on his every word. It’s the way that Namjoon asks Seokjin
to do things with him before anyone else, like play a game, watch a movie, or hang out in the
yard. Seokjin is more likely to try to get a group to do things, but he also has a knack for
trying to impress Namjoon, who is very easily impressed by him because of the whole
possibly-already-in-love-with-him thing.

“I’m not blind,” Taehyung says, sounding offended and Hoseok laughs. Yeah, it is rather
obvious. A few nights ago, Namjoon actually sat on a stool in the kitchen and watched
Seokjin chop like three onions, and he was crying the whole damn time, but when Seokjin
told him he should leave to wash his eyes, he insisted he was alright. That’s kind of a hard to
miss sign.

Hoseok thinks about Namjoon who is somewhere downstairs right now probably grumbling
to himself about the fact that Yoongi is spending the day with Seokjin and not him. For a
smart person, Namjoon, is one of the biggest idiots that Hoseok has ever met. He’ll solve a
millennium problem one day, but he’ll also die in a freak butter knife incident.

“Poor Namjoon, he really is in love, isn’t he?”

“He’s worse than you and Yoongi, I’m not even exaggerating. I assume Yoongi picked Jin for
the date today in order to make him see that Namjoon loves him?”

“That’s exactly right. I don’t mean this in a rude way, Tae, but you’re actually much smarter
than you look.”

“Do I look like I’m stupid?” he asks, pulling away to look at Hoseok. There’s a joke on his
face, thankfully, so he doesn’t think Hoseok was insulting him just now.

“You look… innocent,” he replies, in a way that is supposed to sound polite.

Taehyung just shrugs, “they’ll never see me coming.”

“Taehyung, you’re the prettiest person I’ve ever met, and there was a reason for why I saw
you as my only competition, okay?”

“I’m not worried,” he says, “My face has gotten me this far.” Hoseok sighs. What a pretty
face it is indeed. Part of him would love to look like Taehyung, but then he wouldn’t look like
himself and that would be a tragedy for the whole world. A world without a face as beautiful
as Hoseok’s is no world at all.

The two of them don’t just gossip and talk boys the entire day. Although, Taehyung likes to
tease him about Yoongi every time he gets the chance, and Hoseok lets him, because
whenever he thinks about his cute face, he feels a little more alive. Taehyung is the same way
whenever he brings up either of his two crushes. Between swooning, they talk about their
lives and their interests, their childhoods, and their dreams.

Taehyung is a photographer, which he remembers Yoongi mentioning, but his heart

practically falls out of his chest when he climbs up to his bunk and comes back with some
pictures that he keeps under his pillow. He’s got a whole collection of pictures that he took of
his dogs and cat, and Hoseok has half a mind to steal them. Not the pictures, like he wants to
steal the actual dogs.
 There’s something so simple and nice about their afternoon together. He falls in love with
Taehyung, in a platonic way, but he’d do anything for him. Hoseok can’t help but smile at
him and laugh at how weird his thoughts are. No one else thinks like him, he’s so different
from every other person on the planet and Hoseok treasures that about him.

He also thinks about Yoongi, of course. He wonders how he’s coming along trying to
convince Seokjin to date Namjoon without explicitly saying it, because that would be
awkward. He’s excited for the rose ceremony, where he’s sure that Yoongi will give him the
very last rose like he has before. He probably won’t get to go on a solo date next week, but
that’s alright because he and Yoongi have their mornings together. Or maybe they’ll fall
asleep on the couch again. Maybe Yoongi will pluck up the courage to kiss him one of these
days…

He’s got so many weeks ahead of him of getting to do nothing at all but spend time with good
people, and to fall in love. Hard to complain, no matter what back burner feelings he has.
Things are looking up. He’s got a close friend in Taehyung, and the potential for more in the
other contestants. Maybe he’ll attempt to turn Jimin and Jungkook onto Taehyung. That’s
something he can do with his time not spent with Yoongi.

Things are going okay right now. Hoseok smiles. He feels really good.

Chapter End Notes

I struggled to come with a comment prompt today so I guess I'll just have you tell me
what food you're craving right now or the last song you listened to. Thank you for
reading!
 Aww, Namjoon
Chapter Summary

In my folder for this fic, this chapter was titled "Namjoon Is An Idiot" but I felt bad.

Chapter Notes

I have been battling against the word “woo” for many years now and my hatred for this
word knows no bounds. This is probably the fourth or fifth fic in which I directly call
out the word "woo" and I will not stop until the word is completely and utterly abolished
from the English language. I have no qualms with "Wu", it's the act of "wooing" that I
hate. Thank you for your time, fuck "woo."

See the end of the chapter for more notes

{{

(The Bachelor: Boys Will Be Boys SK Interview Park Jimin #9)

Things are taking a very interesting turn in the house right now. I thought, well we all started
with the goal of winning Yoongi, right? That’s what we all came here for? How can we have
only met each other two weeks ago and yet so much has happened since then?

I think… well I think that someone likes me. Actually, I think it’s very possible that two
people like me. But neither of them is Yoongi. And I don’t know, I guess I’m sort of okay
with that? I never have people like me, it’s new and different for there to be two different
people. Girls like me, which is… not ideal. But it’s never boys, never pretty boys. I’m usually
the one who has a crush on other people, but now I’m on the other end and I like it. It’s rather
validating, especially when it’s those two.

Because I like both of these guys back? It’s crazy. What is happening? I thought I was
supposed to fall in love with Yoongi? It’s not in the rules anywhere that I’m not allowed to
fall for someone else. So, I guess I’ll just see what happens.

Besides, I think any chance anyone has with Yoongi is pretty much gone now. We all know
who he likes. Good for those two. But since Yoongi has all but given out the final rose, I
think that means I’ve got a ticking clock to get someone to fall in love with me before I get
sent home. I really hope it’s not for a while, as I want to see how things work out for me
and… well [blushing]. I don’t want to say either of their names in case I’m wrong. That
would be embarrassing, so I’ll just leave it at that. I’ve got some people’s attention. And they
have mine.

**Notes from the director: what is even happening on this show? It’s supposed to be one guy!
Just vie for one guy! This is The Bachelor not The Bachelors.

}}

“Have you ever been fishing?”

“No.”

“Huh,” Yoongi makes sort of a huffing sound, not annoyed, just soft.

“I’ve always wanted to, though,” Seokjin says. “I’m a big fan of seafood. I think there’s some
hunter gatherer instinct in me that wants to catch my own dinner.”

“Oh, that would be cool,” Yoongi nods. “But is it seafood if you catch a fish in a lake?
Wouldn’t that be… lake food.”

Seokjin looks over at him either impressed or absolutely pissed off. He’s usually the one who
makes the lame jokes and now he has to grapple with Yoongi getting there first. Yoongi gives
him a toothy grin when he catches Seokjin looking at him.

“If we catch something, you’ll have to cook for me, Seokjin.”

“I’m always the cook,” he sighs. Yoongi’s makes a face, he wonders if he’s too presumptive,
but Seokjin just laughs, “it’s alright, I like cooking. Plus, I’m better than everyone else.
That’s true of most things, but especially cooking. I think someday I’ll own a restaurant.
Maybe when I’m frightfully old, but it’s inevitable if you ask me.”

Yoongi smiles and looks out at the lake before them. He’s never been in a place so quiet
before. He went camping once with his family when he was very young, only he threw a fit
because mosquitos tried to devour him. He was way too young to actually appreciate the so-
called “great outdoors.” Whenever a friend of his would talk about how much they enjoyed a
camping trip, he’d assume they were lying.

He still kind of hates the outdoors. It’s the sun that is his real enemy, the two of them have
never been very fond of each other. Hard to cool down when you’re out in the sun all day,
that’s why he doesn’t like it. It’s easy to get warm when you come in from outside, but hard
to cool down. Plus, snow, winter, they don’t give him a sunburn. He gets to stay nice and pale
like he prefers, because this way, people don’t expect him to go outside with them. If he
could live entirely free from the outdoors, he would. Hoseok is bright enough, he probably
won’t need sunlight.

This lake is very nice though. Probably just because it’s so serene. The city seems far away.
There’s just nothing. No one. Just the two of them and a camera crew. But it’s nice. Seokjin is
good company, he’s easy to talk to, and always knows what silence needs to be filled and
what doesn’t.
“When are you going to be a movie star, Seokjin?” he asks.

“Soon, I would expect. Have you seen my face?” Seokjin laughs.

“That’s a good point,” Yoongi nods. It doesn’t really feel like flirting, not on either end of it.
Obviously, Yoongi doesn’t mean it that way, but Seokjin just doesn’t seem like the kind of
guy who he’d be capable of flirting with. There’s a self-deprecating side of him that says that
Seokjin is miles out of his league. Really, it’s just that there’s nothing there. Absolutely
nothing between them. It’s almost tangible. He’s an amazing person, and Yoongi is going to
keep him, but there’s nothing about Seokjin that draws him in romantically. Yoongi has some
amount, just the slightest bit for people like Jimin or Jungkook, but it’s only wisps. But
Seokjin? Nothing. He feels like an older brother to him.

“You’ll release the best-selling record of the year, and then I’ll sweep all the award shows
with my starring role,” he says, sounding sure of himself. Very confident coming from a man
who couldn’t even set up a fishing pole by himself.

“I’ll write a song for your movie,” Yoongi says, and Seokjin nods happily.

They’ve been attempting to fish for maybe twenty minutes or so. They didn’t come to this
lake specifically to fish, but Seokjin got excited by the prospect of it. He supposes the
producers want them to actually get into the water, but Yoongi isn’t taking his shirt off
anytime soon. Not for a camera. Hoseok? That’s another story, but never for an audience.
He’ll maybe get on the boat docked near them, but only after he’s eaten and had some
alcohol.

“I’m not actually that in love with myself you know,” Seokjin says, out of nowhere. Maybe
it’s been ten minutes since either of them last talked.

“Hm?”

“I mean that I put on a big show, but I’m… well I’m very self-conscious.”

“I did kind of assume that,” Yoongi says. “You’re far too nice, too polite. There are some
people in the mansion who believe their own hype a bit too much. You don’t have that way
about you.”

“I’m still a little arrogant,” he shrugs.

“Well, so am I.”

“Cool.” They both nod. Seokjin lets it sit in the air for a few breaths. “I used to be very awful
about myself. I couldn’t say anything good about myself for most of my life, all jokes of
course. But it does have an effect on you, doesn’t it? If you walk around calling yourself ugly
or saying you hate yourself, it takes its toll. Well, at some point, I just decided it wasn’t
benefiting me anymore. So I stopped, and started pretending I’m the best person I’ve ever
met. Fake confidence turns into real confidence if you do it long enough. It works quite well
actually, I’m way happier with myself than I used to be.”
“Having that face certainly helps,” Yoongi says. Seokjin chuckles, because he’s right. Mirrors
are kind to him. “You’re certainly at an advantage over me.”

Seokjin looks taken aback. “What did I just say about confidence, Yoongi? You know you’re
hot, right? Like, you’re aware that part of the reason for why you were chosen to be The
Bachelor is because you look like that, right?”

He shrugs. “That’s probably true.” Still, he’s not Seokjin. He’s not Taehyung or Jimin either.
He’s attractive, but he’s never been the most attractive. If he’s with Hoseok, he’ll never get
the chance to be, but that’s alright. He’d rather have the cute boyfriend than be the cute
boyfriend.

“You’re gorgeous, Yoongi.” He rolls his eyes and looks out at the lake in front of him. It
doesn’t seem like any fish are allured by either of them. Seokjin may be attractive to fellow
humans, but fish couldn’t care less, all that matters to a fish is how juicy the worm is. Yoongi
wonders what would happen if he put D at the end of his line.

It’s weird how Seokjin calling him gorgeous doesn’t feel like a come on. There’s something
of an understanding between them. He doesn’t want to bring it up right here, not when
they’re literally on a date. Not after what happened with Jungkook. Producer Dad would have
his head. Still, he can float the idea to himself a little bit.

Seokjin isn’t trying for anything. He isn’t creating space for himself. The only way in which
this could be described as a date is by the slate that defines it as such. They’ve had a way of
reading each other’s minds since they met somehow. Yoongi can read Seokjin easier than he
can Hoseok. He likes it that way, Hoseok can keep him guessing. But it’s nice to feel
connected to Seokjin.

Yoongi looks at Seokjin and he looks back. They have a conversation. Is there anything in
you that likes me romantically? Anything Seokjin? Even the flimsiest amount? It’s almost
imperceptible, but he sees Seokjin shake his head. Maybe it doesn’t even happen and
Yoongi’s eyes are playing tricks. But it does seem like a no.

“How are you fitting in so far?” Yoongi asks.

“Oh, it’s going well for me,” he says. Did he just have the same conversation as Yoongi? Did
he read the same things from the others face? “I’ve always found making friends easy. You
were pretty easy yourself. I just start talking to people until they reply to me. Even if it’s
difficult, I either wear people down to me or they figure out I’m great on their own. There
are… well I guess, have you heard the term ‘baby eaters’ at all?”

Yoongi is surprised by it. “Um, no. Should I have?”

“I thought you might have, considering how much time you spend with Hoseok.” The way
that Seokjin drops the name seems careless, and yet that catches him off guard far more than
whatever a baby eater is. “Well, I accidentally coined the term to talk about the few guys in
the house who don’t get along with everyone else. I’m not about to shit talk on anyone in
particular. It’s up to you to determine who stays and who goes, so I won’t interfere. But
anyway, the baby eaters, they resist me, they’re not the easiest to talk to, but I’ve managed to
get on their good side anyway. Well, except for you know who.”

Yoongi rolls his eyes. Of course he knows who. There’s no way in hell that any of Yoongi’s
annoyance with him will ever make it onto TV, because then no one would believe he
actually wants D on the show. They probably won’t believe it anyway, but he certainly
doesn’t do D any favors behind his back.

It’s true that Yoongi doesn’t really know who all the assholes in the house are. There are a
few he’s certain of. D, of course; E who he sent home last week. Then there’s A who will be
going home on Monday, he just doesn’t know it yet. There has to be at least one more, maybe
two, that he doesn’t know about and the fact that he doesn’t know who they are pisses him
off. On night one, he truly did pick people he didn’t think were assholes, and he thought he
did a good job, aside from D who he had to keep. Up until recently, Yoongi thought he was a
good judge of character. Apparently, all he is is adequate. He hates that there are people in the
house who have problems with others. He doesn’t want to put Hoseok or any of these sweet
guys through the torture of being around the rude ones. Yoongi would pry Seokjin for names,
but he knows that he won’t give any. He’s too polite, he’s always been so polite.

Yoongi gestures for him to lean in so that he can whisper in his ear. “I’m sorry about D.” He
uses D’s real name instead of the letter so that Seokjin knows who he’s talking about. The
way his name sounds on Yoongi’s lips is awful, and he really does try to avoid it whenever he
can. “I would send him home if I could.”

“They’re making you keep him?” Seokjin asks. Yoongi doesn’t want to lie to him, but he
doesn’t want to tell Seokjin the whole truth. It’s okay with Hoseok, when they already tell
each other secrets, but it would be uncomfortable to admit to Seokjin that he’s only keeping
D on so that he can promote his mixtape. It’s more likely to be misconstrued by him.

So, at Seokjin’s question, he just nods.

“That sucks,” he sighs.

“But I can tell you a secret,” he says.

“Oh?” Seokjin pretends he’s fascinated with his fishing rod for a moment before he looks
back at Yoongi.

“On night one, they approached me and told me there were a few contestants they wanted me
to keep on. And you were one of them.”

“What, seriously?” his look of surprise is real.

“Yeah,” Yoongi nods. “I was going to keep you around anyway, though.”

“That’s enough of that!” Producer Dad’s voice comes from behind them, and instead of
paying him any mind, he just flips him off. Seokjin knows there’s a feud between those two,
but he’s been unable to determine how serious it is. Either way, he suppresses a little bit of a
smile. Yoongi’s a firecracker in disguise. He hides his evil, chaotic self behind a cool exterior,
but he’s not so simple. There are dynamic bits yet to be discovered.

Seokjin purses his lips and tries to find the other side of the lake. It’s too big, like it goes on
forever. “Why me?”

“They like your face,” Yoongi says, matter-of-factly.

“No, I mean, why did you want to keep me on?” Jin asks.

“Oh, that’s easy. When I walked into the mansion after all those introductions, you were
yelling about food. I don’t remember exactly what it was, something about eating the couch
cushions. I knew right away that you had to stay.”

He laughs, “I’m glad my hunger is getting me places.”

“I just thought it was cute.”

Yoongi feels awful about it the next day when he realizes that he forgot to plant the seed of
Namjoon into Seokjin’s head. He was so caught up in talking to his friend, that he forgot that
he’s trying to make his friend fall in love with someone.

He wakes up Sunday morning and stares at the ceiling, thinking about the date. All he can
think about now is how he’s got to go down for breakfast later and Hoseok is going to ask
him how it went with Seokjin, whether he’s in love with Namjoon yet or not, and he has
nothing to report back. He’s such an idiot. Hoseok isn’t going to be angry about it, but it
slows down their plans a bit.

He only picked Seokjin to go on a date so that he could make him fall in love with Namjoon,
but he fucking forgot! Hoseok is going to make fun of him and he’ll deserve it. But then he
remembers how cute Hoseok is and how soft he looks in the morning. It’s impossible to be
afraid of him. Just the thought of seeing him makes Yoongi’s entire heart race. He could be
downstairs waiting for him right now. God, he hopes.

Ordinarily, convincing him to get out of bed is quite the endeavor. Yoongi usually wakes up
past noon, and then lies in his bed for three hours playing on his phone. Only then does he
even stand up to take a piss. Now, however, he’s got a pretty boy waiting for him who
somehow makes the best coffee he’s ever had. Hoseok credits his coffee making skill to an
assistant job he once had, but it’s quite possible that Hoseok is just magic at everything he
does. There’s a metaphor about King Midas in there somewhere if you dig hard enough.

He thinks of a few days ago when he woke up on the couch with Hoseok. They weren’t even
cuddling, and that’s probably the worst thing in the world. But it’s the closest he’s ever gotten
to Hoseok, and he wants more of it. He wants more of Hoseok. He craves the closeness so
much that it hurts. Sometimes his entire ribcage hurts over the fact that he’s not being
cuddled. He deserves it, honestly, he does. He deserves to have someone hold him. He has
been through enough inner turmoil to know that he has earned cuddles with Hoseok and
falling asleep in his arms and kisses on necks.
He knows Hoseok wants it too. Of course he wants that. They’re Yoongi and Hoseok. Hoseok
and Yoongi. They’re supposed to be close like that. Why else would this show exist if not to
be together?

Yoongi showers at nights, so all he needs to do is brush his teeth and put clothes on before he
makes his way downstairs. Staying away from Hoseok is not an easy task. Seeing him every
morning is the highlight of his day. He actually likes seeing Hoseok more than he likes going
to sleep at night. Though, he does see Hoseok whenever he drifts off to sleep, but that’s just
his brain taunting him. Mornings are when he sees the actual face attached to the actual
personality.

Hoseok is head deep into the refrigerator when Yoongi enters the kitchen. His ass is in the air,
and his head is practically between shelves. Why he feels the need to do things with his entire
body is something that Yoongi will never understand. Everything he ever does is a whole-
body affair. If he has to pick something up off the ground, you can be assured that it will be
dramatic and may even come with a soundtrack and that’s something that Yoongi loves about
him. It’s annoying, and disgusting, but it’s Hoseok. That makes it okay.

“Pretty sure Narnia is at the back of a wardrobe, not a refrigerator,” Yoongi says. Hoseok
doesn’t jump so he must’ve heard him coming. It’s their routine, so he knows to expect him.

“I think we need to make a grocery list for the crew,” he says. “we’re starting to run low on
everything.”

“Well, there are like fourteen of us living here,” he says. They had groceries delivered some
time earlier this week, but fourteen people go through groceries pretty fast. Still, there’s some
leftovers from either yesterday or the day before it, and Yoongi’s go to breakfast is always
just to make whatever is in the refrigerator. Leftovers are one of his greatest passions. He can
usually tell if it was made by Seokjin because it tastes better than other people’s cooking.
Unfortunately for everyone in the house last night, Seokjin did not make their food. He’s
going to desperately miss living in a house with Seokjin, but if it means he gets Hoseok to
himself, he’ll learn to deal with it.

“Yoongi, me and kimchi have a codependence that I’m not sure you will ever be able to fully
understand.”

Yoongi almost “awws” audibly when Hoseok pulls his head out of the refrigerator to look at
him. Hoseok is just so goddamn cute. His hair is that weird just-showered texture that Yoongi
loves. He wants to play with it. He wants to put his hand in Hoseok’s hair, or on his face or
anywhere that Hoseok lets him put his hands.

“You’re so goddamn cute,” he doesn’t even think he tries to resist saying it, it just tumbles
out of him. Hoseok should be used to hearing it, but he blushes. He takes a step back and
closes the refrigerator, almost like he forgot why he had opened it. Then he remembers he
was going to make breakfast, so he blushes some more and opens it again.

“You want to do the coffee, Seok?” he asks when Hoseok pulls out a bowl of food wrapped
up in tin foil. He uncovers it to sniff, and when it apparently passes that test, he sets it on the
counter for Yoongi.
“I don’t why you think my coffee is better than yours, I literally put the grounds in the same
way as everyone else,” he sighs.

“Yours is just better, I can’t explain it. You’re going to have to accept that and be my barista
forever.”

“Mm, whatever.” Hoseok goes to work on the coffee while Yoongi works on food which is
some amalgamation of vegetables and meat, which is probably also what you would find if
you cut open Yoongi.

“How was Seokjin?” Hoseok asks. His tone suggests that they’re gossiping over a teen
magazine in his bedroom. It’s nice that he’s not jealous, though.

“He was very pleasant,” Yoongi nods.

“Yeah?” he asks. “Where did you go? Did you think of me the whole time?”

“Why would I ever want to think of you?” Yoongi replies. Hoseok bats his eyelashes at him
and then bumps into him teasingly. Yoongi could cry he likes him so much.

“What did you do? Where did you go?”

“We just went to a lake and fished for a long while. Then we had a little bonfire. Neither of
us caught anything, but the crew prepared for that, so we still got to make fish, just not by the
fruits of our labor. I watched Seokjin debone a fish and that was off-putting. We also went on
a motorboat, but as it turns out, I get a little queasy on boats. What about you? Did you miss
me desperately?”

“I hardly noticed you were gone,” he teases. “Me and Tae talked in our room pretty much all
day.”

“Should I be jealous?” Yoongi jokes. It’s not like he has any doubts that Hoseok likes him,
but he likes to play.

“Mm, depends. He knows all my secrets now. You only know a few of them. You’ve got to
catch up.”

“Did you learn anything good?” Yoongi asks.

“I won’t say, he’s my friend!” Hoseok replies. Things were said yesterday that are way out of
Yoongi’s pay grade. Nothing bad, just personal. “But I will say, Tae is moving towards
progress on the dating front.”

“Who with?” He’s aware that Hoseok is about to ask him how it went talking Namjoon up to
Seokjin, and he’ll have to admit that he forgot. It’s going to suck. But maybe Taehyung liking
someone will lessen the sting.

“We were both right about him. He likes Jimin and Jungkook both. He just doesn’t know who
he likes more.”
“No reason he can’t date both,” Yoongi offers. Hoseok tilts his head, curiously. “That’s a
thing you know… right?”

“Yeah, I guess. It just didn’t occur to me.”

“All three of them together, wow,” Yoongi says and thinks about it to himself on it. “That
would be a sight to behold. They’ll either take over the world or set it on fire, accidentally in
both regards. What an amazing trio though, fuck.”

“Do you think…” Now Hoseok’s mind is running. All three of them. He never even
considered it. When Taehyung had talked about how he liked both of them, his first
assumption was that he would eventually have to pick one or the other. “Do you actually
think?”

“We’ll just have to wait and find out. Maybe gather some more intel about the other two.”
Yoongi is so practical about it that Hoseok can’t help but to ask.

“You and me, though, we’re-”

“You should know first-hand how monogamous I am, Seok.”

He nods, feeling a little bit dumb, but he still likes the reassurance. He’s not willing to share
Yoongi with anyone. He wants him all to himself.

The coffee is done well before the food is. Hoseok gets Yoongi a cup and Yoongi, who likes
to live life on the wild side, barely lets it cool off at all before he takes a sip. He absolutely
burns his tongue but isn’t caffeine worth it? He finishes his first cup before the food is done,
and Hoseok would expect nothing less.

Hoseok must have forgotten to ask about Seokjin, because their conversation veers in every
other direction besides the people in the mansion. Hoseok makes the mistake of telling
Yoongi that he used to wear braces and now Yoongi is obsessed with the idea of little high
school Hoseok with braces. He might just pass out with how cute that prospect is. Yeah, he
wore braces too, but Hoseok is Hoseok.

Fuck. Yoongi wants to meet a guy’s parents. He’s never been in a relationship where he
wanted that. He’s done that a whole once, and It was uncomfortable as hell, and he broke up
with that guy about two weeks later. That was mostly because he was pressured into meeting
said Ex’s parents, but he didn’t want to meet them, and then he realized that his Ex saw more
out of their relationship than he did. It cannot be reiterated enough that Yoongi has never felt
this way about a person before he met Hoseok. He’s never even come close.

But with Hoseok, he wants to see photo albums of baby pictures. He wants to see saved
homework assignments of when he was first learning how to write and his attempts were
illegible. He wants to know what Hoseok’s childhood bedroom was like; what posters he
hung up on his walls, what comics he read.

“You’re staring at me like we’re on a primetime romantic drama, Yoongi.”

Yoongi is honestly so comfortable with Hoseok that he doesn’t think he needs to blush or
deny it. They both know they like each other, trying to hide that fact would be like pretending
he can’t speak Korean.

“You have a cute nose.” It’s not a petite nose that makes his face look huge. He’s easy pretty.
Some people’s jaws are too sharp, or their cheekbones look skeletal and that’s always a turn
off for Yoongi. But Hoseok’s face is perfect, soft and squishy where it counts, but in profile
that jaw is deadly.

“Thanks, my mom gave it to me.”

“You should thank her the next time you see her.” I should also thank her the next time I see
her.

Hoseok sips his coffee. “We’re starting to become disgusting, you know.”

“I have been getting that vibe,” Yoongi smiles. It’s not a bad thing that they’re getting too
sweet, Hoseok just means that people who see them interact with each other will start to feel
sick from how obvious they are about their feelings for each other. That’s okay. Maybe it will
expel D from his periphery. He’s still not sure what D is actually after, because it doesn’t
seem to be Yoongi.

“I’m kind of into it,” he says.

“It pisses Producer Dad off.”

“Good… so when are you going to take me out on another date, Yoongi?” Hoseok bats his
pretty oh-my-god-yoongi-are-you-gay? eyelashes at him and Yoongi has a heart attack.

“Next week. But sadly, you’ll have to settle for another group date.”

Hoseok sighs, but he understands. They went on a solo date last week, so there’s no way it
can happen again yet. Maybe the week after next? It’s not like they don’t get enough time
together, but he wants to be out of the goddamn house for some of it. He wants to go to lakes,
zoos, rock climbing gyms, and ballets with Yoongi. He wants to have a whole day, instead of
just an hour or two in the morning.

He wants Yoongi to kiss him. Kissing is always awkward; it’s never felt perfect for him. He
wonders if that’s because Yoongi’s are the lips he’s been waiting for. It’s not like he can make
the first move, though. Yoongi made a big show of it on night fucking one, he’s only going to
kiss someone once he’s sure he’s not going to kiss anyone else… well it’s an almost absolute
that he’s not going to like anyone the way he likes Hoseok, but he hasn’t kissed him yet. It’s
sad. He can tell he’s missing out, but that’s all he really knows with any certainty. That he’s
missing out.

Yoongi is visibly uncomfortable around cameras. That’s always been who he is. He is always
aware of them. It’s always very visceral when there’s a cameraman in the room with them,
but just knowing that there’s a camera on top of the refrigerator, at the breakfast bar, on the
windowsill… Hoseok is fairly sure that’s why a kiss hasn’t happened yet.
He just sighs. It will happen when it happens. He just has to be patient. It will suck so much
if he has to wait until the show is over but wait he will. He has so much to look forward to,
even if he would like to have it right now. All good things…

Hoseok thinks instead of trying to find a time to watch a movie with Yoongi. Not in the
morning where they would probably have time to. He wants to watch a movie with Yoongi
before bed, like they had almost done a few nights ago when they fell asleep. It’s probably
the thing he wants most out of Yoongi. He’s even okay with watching the movie instead of
talking to him. He wants to be near Yoongi simply while he enjoys things. Also, he wants for
Yoongi to get cold and use Hoseok to warm himself up.

Namjoon is the next person to wake up and it’s about thirty minutes later. He’s just showered,
and his dark roots are starting to show in his silver hair and it honestly makes him thousands
of times more attractive. He looks so goddamn sophisticated. If he weren’t so young, you’d
think silver is his natural color. He looks like some sort of young adjunct professor that
you’re not supposed to be attracted to, but you are anyway.

Namjoon’s presence derails their smack you in the face flirting, but it does not eliminate it
altogether. Hoseok looks at Yoongi like he’s a whole ass meal every other minute which
makes his stomach feel fuzzy. It’s not like Namjoon is going to get jealous of their
relationship, is he?

It’s nice that as smart and often times as serious as Namjoon is, he’s also a total goof. He’s
incredibly good at embarrassing himself. He’s quite tall, or at least relative to Yoongi he is,
but his long limbs don’t do him any favors. This is made obvious when he spills milk all over
the counter and the three of them all look at the spill for a few seconds and have a feeling of
“of course.” This is Namjoon after all.

Like usual, Seokjin comes down not long after Namjoon, to find them cleaning up the spill.
Namjoon, in his attempt to help, moves the milk from the counter and then proceeds to spill it
on the floor too. Aww, Namjoon.

“This seems familiar,” Seokjin says. Probably because Namjoon spilled rice on the floor like
three days ago. Everything Namjoon touches becomes a possible casualty to his destructive
clumsiness.

He stands up very straight when he sees him and smiles innocently. “Hi Jin.”

“Namjoon-ah, you’d find a way to break a high security safe while wearing a straitjacket.”
He blushes and then looks down at the mess he made to avoid eye contact. Aww, Namjoon.

There’s no filming today, so Yoongi doesn’t need to get his makeup done which is always his
favorite kind of day. People start to inch their way downstairs steadily. Jungkook still hasn’t
made eye contact with him since Tuesday, but at least he hasn’t quit the show altogether. So
clearly, something is making him stay if it’s not Yoongi. Jimin and Taehyung perhaps?

Yoongi tries to have a conversation with Jungkook, and he responds in short little sentences,
but any hope of eye contact is completely out of the question. Usually it’s Yoongi who can’t
look people in the eye, so this is an unusual predicament for him. He wishes things were
different, but he’s sure that Jungkook will cool down eventually. They got along so well on
their date, it’s just that Yoongi doesn’t like him the same way. He never out right said that he
doesn’t like Jungkook, but it was definitely there. “Cool thanks” is not how you respond to
someone if you reciprocate their feelings. He silently pleas to Batman or whatever figure is
watching over him that Jungkook notices the way that Taehyung is looking at him right now.

“Hey Yoongi, can I steal you away for a few minutes?” Namjoon asks him. Yoongi doesn’t
even know when Namjoon came to be beside him, but he looks at Namjoon in surprise. What
could this be about?

“Uh, sure,” he nods. Hoseok is engrossed in a conversation with Jimin and M, otherwise he’d
try to signal him with some sort of gesture. Namjoon is great, but they don’t usually pull each
other away from other people.

Instead of taking him into the living room like Yoongi would expect, Namjoon actually takes
them right over to the sliding door that leads to the porch. The same porch where contestants
meet with him before the rose ceremony. That makes Yoongi feel a sense of gravity, because
he must not want them to be overheard so this is going to be serious.

If anyone notices them leave, they don’t make it apparent. He’s not too worried that Namjoon
is about to take him out back to kill him, because there’s cameras everywhere. He wouldn’t
get away with it, and there’s nowhere to run. He’s not sure what Namjoon’s motive would be
to kill him, but there’s probably one somewhere if he searches hard enough.

“Are you okay, Namjoon?” he asks, when the door closes. They step closer to the
couch/booth/whatever, but Namjoon makes no indication like he’s going to sit down on it. It’s
disgustingly hot today, the humid kind that will make your shirt stick to your body if you so
much as sit up too quickly. There’s no reason for how Yoongi could ever actively enjoy the
outdoors if this is what ‘nice weather’ means.

“Yeah, I’m fine… it’s just… well, here’s the thing.”

“What’s with the serious tone?” he asks. If Namjoon has some sort of terminal disease he’s
going to smack him across the face and then cry for the next eight years.

“There’s something that I have to confess to you. I’ve been holding it back for a bit too long
and I feel that I’ve been dishonest, and that’s not really fair to you,” he says.

“Okay?” Yoongi says, puzzling his eyebrows together. Maybe not a terminal illness, but he’s
still being weird.

“So… well for a while now, maybe even since day one or two actually, I’ve had… well I’ve
had feelings for someone. Someone else. It just hasn’t felt right to me, I mean, I’m here on
this show, and you’re such a great guy, but I can’t stop myself from just… well… I like
Seokjin. Like a lot.”

“Oh, Namjoon,” Yoongi nods, relief filling him. For the briefest of moments, he considers
acting surprised. What does he have to gain from that, though? “I know.”
“What?” He asks, looking so shocked that Yoongi wants to give him a hug. He just puts his
hand on his shoulder and sighs.

“Joon, everyone knows.” Yoongi shakes his head. “You’re not subtle.”

“They… really? Everyone?”

“Me and Hoseok even make fun of how obvious you are, Namjoon.”

“I can’t believe…” He looks so confused. Aww, poor, sweet Namjoon. “How long have you
known?”

“I think it’s entirely possibly that I knew before you did,” Yoongi says.

“Well how come he hasn’t noticed then?”

“I would be willing to bet that he has,” Yoongi says. Christ, these two are both idiots. He
might need to lock them in a room together so that they can figure things out or take their
clothes off or a little bit of both.

Namjoon’s brain is obviously working a mile a minute. Yoongi can practically smell his gears
overheating. “I… but what about you? I thought-”

“It’s okay, I’m not offended. Obviously, it’s not going to bother me of all people, is it?”
Yoongi says.

“Wait, it doesn’t? You’re The Bachelor though, and I like someone else entirely-”

“You are really bad at picking up on cues, aren’t you?” Yoongi says. He’s now trying to
figure out how someone as smart as Namjoon, as painfully intelligent as this man, can miss
literally everything that’s right in front of him. Namjoon could solve ten equations in the time
it would take for Yoongi to solve one, but he may also be too dumb to realize that Yoongi left
a cardboard cutout in his place in order to avoid doing actual math.

“What do you mean?”

“Have you even met Hoseok?” Yoongi asks. “He’s about this tall. Brown hair. Eyes like sin.
Prettiest face in all of history? Voice like an angel? Body like a devil?”

Namjoon’s face says it all. He did not know that. “You and Hoseok?”

“Yeah,” Yoongi uses a voice like he’s talking to a toddler.

“Oh my gosh! So you’re definitely not jealous or anything then.” Namjoon’s brain, it’s a math
brain. It’s a science and word problems and logic brain. It is apparently not a socially aware
brain. That’s why Yoongi can see him calculating things in his head rather logically. Now that
he has all the variables he needs, he knows how to plug those variables into an equation.
Yoongi is none of the above things. He’s not school smart or particularly socially smart. He
knows a lot about rap music and cryptids though, so who’s the real winner?
 “Aw, Joon,” Yoongi puts his other hand on his shoulder and tries to comfort him but he
doesn’t know how so he just stares uncomfortably at his nose for a few moments and then
blinks and takes both of his hands back. “I’ll tell you what though, there is a way that we can
help each other out.”

He raises an eyebrow. Namjoon has two of the most expressive eyebrows in the world.
Yoongi wishes his face was capable of as much drama as his one eyebrow is. “How?”

“Well, so I need bodies,” knowing Yoongi, he only hears how that sounds after the words are
already out. “What I mean is, I need people to fill spots on this show while me and Hoseok
do whatever it is Hoseok and I are doing. It’s been a little uncomfortable for me, knowing
that I’m leading a few people on… because this show is not about them. I don’t care about
any of them or you. Not like him. God love you Joon, but I would rather eat a lamppost than
date someone other than Hoseok. But see, now that you’ve finally admitted that you like
Seokjin, what I can do is keep you both on this show until the end so that you have the
opportunity to get him to notice you back. It’s a win-win.”

“So you want me to woo Jin-”

“If you ever say that word again I’ll smack you in the back of the head.”

“Woo?”

“Namjoon, I swear to god,” Yoongi says, raising his hand, ready to strike. He hates that word.
He hates it so much. It makes his blood boil.

“Sorry,” he says, shoulders tensing up. “You want me to… dazzle Jin?”

“I want you two to do whatever you want to do so that I can be with Hoseok. I can even send
home all of the people you and Seokjin share a room with if you want to fuck-”

Namjoon turns so ridiculously pink that Yoongi is worried for his health. “I think it’ll be fine
if you don’t do that.”

“You’re a wait ‘til marriage type?” Yoongi asks, not with judgment, just with interest. Yoongi
is not a wait until marriage type for certain. He thinks about Hoseok way too much to be a
wait until marriage type.

“Let’s just not talk about my sex life,” Namjoon says, and Yoongi nods.

“Fair enough,” Yoongi nods.

“But you promise that you’ll keep me and Jin on until the end? Or at least until he realizes I
like him?” Namjoon asks, looking happy, despite all of the other confusion that’s on his face.

“I’ll do you one better. I’ll even help get him to fall in love with you.”

Chapter End Notes

Your comment prompt for today is for you to tell me what cartoon character you most
vibe with. Personally, I see myself vividly in Pain and Panic from Hercules.
 They Don't Kiss
Chapter Summary

Don't let the name fool you, this chapter is pretty great.

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

{{

(The Bachelor: Boys Will Be Boys SK Interview Dick “D” Head #36)

I honestly don’t understand why Yoongi is playing around with all these [censored] fools,
you know what I’m saying? It’s kind of obvious that he likes me, you don’t need a
magnifying glass or anything. It’s honestly so sad how everyone else actually thinks they’ve
got a chance with him (rolling his eyes). Like, whatever dude, have fun with that.

I don’t know if I remember his name, um, Nam-something is so tediously in love with
Yoongi which I personally find hysterical. And have you seen the way that that Hoseok guy
basically slobbers at the mouth whenever Yoongi is around? Tragic, honestly. He’s got
nothing on me, none of them do. I don’t want to call someone ugly, that’s not a very nice
thing to say, but Hoseok is like, he’s not me, is he? He’s like… if I were Yoongi, I wouldn’t
bother even entertaining him. But it’s not like Yoongi is a perfect ten either.

I think it’s safe to say I’m the best candidate in the house. I’m obviously the sexiest, and I’ve
done way more things than everyone else. I’ve been deep sea diving lower than almost any
other person in the world. Like, how many of the other contestants can say that? And how
many of them have scaled five of the world’s tallest mountains? (Side eyed glance) Most of
these other guys probably can’t even speak more than one language while I speak five…

There are lots of people who are jealous of me, so I’m not the most well-liked person in the
mansion, but that’s not really my fault. I can’t just stop being myself, because that would
suck for the rest of the world. That Jin [censored] has had it out for me since day one, but
I’ve chosen to be the bigger person. Again, like, I would never call anyone ugly, but yikes, I
bet his parents have regrets on that one.

I think the sad thing is that I don’t know if I actually feel the same way about Yoongi, which
is a real shame. He’ll probably end up broken hearted at the end of the show, unless he
somehow manages to really impress me, but I don’t know if I see that happening. I just… I’m
not sure he’s my type. Usually, I date models. Real Victoria’s Secret types. Yoongi is
definitely not that. I’ve never dated a guy before, I only found out I was bisexual recently
when I kept getting hit on by men. Whatever my type is… I have to think it’s probably a little
bit better than Yoongi.
I try not to let looks be what’s important, because it should be about personality and soul and
vibes. All that deep mental stuff, right? But I can’t help but to think I just deserve more. I
deserve both intelligence and good looks. Basically, like how I am. I wish I could just clone
myself and date him, or probably the girl version of me actually.

Ugh, whatever. I bet Yoongi hasn’t brought me on a solo date yet because he’s too
intimidated by his feelings for me. It would almost be cute if it wasn’t sad. I guess I hope he
finds a backup contestant if things don’t work out for us, which they probably won’t. I just
want to see if I can win this show, because I see no reason for why I won’t.

**Notes from the director: Jeez, I know he’s an actor, but he’s a bit much, isn’t he? Let’s have
him dial it down a bit.

}}

Hoseok is a lightweight. Yoongi learns this after the rose ceremony where A and G are sent
home when Hoseok falls asleep at the kitchen counter after about half a bottle of soju while
Yoongi works on his third. It’s simultaneously hilarious and a little bit pitiful, but Yoongi
isn’t one to judge. He looks at Hoseok’s head which is resting on top of his arms as he’s
doubled over onto the counter.

“I get kind of ugly when I’m drunk,” Hoseok had said before they uncapped the bottles.

“I bet we both get a lot less ugly when we’re both drunk,” Yoongi said.

Yoongi’s face quickly turned red as he drank one, then another. Hoseok labored over one
bottle and then passed out before he got to the bottom. To his credit, soju has a far higher
alcohol content than beer, but it’s still a bit pathetic.

Now Yoongi looks at his little Sleeping Beauty and he wants to tuck him into bed and give
him a little kiss on his forehead. Seokjin also looks at him, but he’s judging Hoseok a bit
more than Yoongi is. Hoseok said he rarely drinks and now Yoongi knows why. Poor thing.

“I guess I’ll deal with this,” Taehyung says. He pushes the bottle away so as not to spill it,
and then starts trying to help Hoseok up. Hoseok is definitely not conscious, but he’s also not
really asleep either. He makes an annoyed groaning sound, doesn’t open his eyes, but
apparently his feet still work… kinda.

“Do you need help?” Yoongi offers. He’s very much buzzed. In like twenty minutes, once the
alcohol settles, he’ll be very drunk, but right now he’s not so bad. He’ll be able to help
Hoseok up the stairs before he gets weird. Yoongi shows off too much skin when he’s drunk.
At the right level of alcohol, he absolutely will perform a strip tease for you. Yoongi will not
have any more alcohol tonight for fear that his drunk self will show off to the cameras,
because he’s done it before. Not on this show, but his friends have blackmail material.

“Nah, I’m good,” Taehyung says. It’s a slow task, but Taehyung is able to convince Hoseok
to walk through the doorway and then both Yoongi and Seokjin hear the very loud, expletive-
filled ascent upstairs. He wonders what it’s going to be like when Taehyung gets Hoseok into
their room and wakes up their roommates. Hoseok didn’t really drink enough that he’s going
to puke, but then again, everyone handles alcohol differently.

“I’m not sure what to make of that,” Seokjin shrugs. Evidently, neither of them has a low
tolerance. This is good news for the fact that Yoongi will probably invite Seokjin to hang out
at a bar many times in the future to catch up as old friends.

“I think he’s very special,” Yoongi says, and that’s a conviction he’ll take to his grave if he
has to.

Unfortunately, drinking means that neither Yoongi nor Hoseok wakes up early enough to go
through their usual morning routine the next day. Yoongi wakes up with a headache and not
enough time to get a solid breakfast in before he has to get his makeup done for his date with
Namjoon. He doesn’t look hungover, but he certainly feels it. His energy is low until he gets
some well-earned ibuprofen and then he’s able to bring his personality up a few notches.

Taking Namjoon on a date is insanely weird for the both of them. They go to an art museum
and it’s awkward. Yoongi tries to talk to him about Seokjin, but Producer Dad yells at them
for not acting like they like each other. They give it their best effort, but they can’t fake
chemistry when there is none.

Yoongi wouldn’t say he has a bad time, but he’d rather come to a museum with Namjoon to
hang out and talk about their boyfriends or about the music they’re making. He wants to hear
Namjoon gush about all the things he likes about Seokjin. He wants to hear about the tiny
things you only notice about someone when you like them. Like how Yoongi notices
whenever Hoseok tilts his head or covers his mouth when he laughs.

The day is filled with a lot of awkward pauses as they try to navigate appealing to Producer
Dad without actually having to flirt with one another. Luckily for both of them, they don’t get
back very late from their date. It’s only nine when they find themselves kicking their shoes
off at the entrance of the mansion. Yoongi is itching to see Hoseok, because he hasn’t seen
his pretty face all day. Not once! How can he have spent a whole day not seeing Hoseok? It’s
tragic.

Namjoon is tired so he goes directly upstairs when they get back, but Yoongi sets off on his
search. Hoseok not in the living room which contains several guys, their faces glowing from
the light of the television. He’s not in the game room either, only Jungkook and Taehyung are
there, sitting on the floor playing the most rigorous looking game of monopoly that Yoongi
has ever witnessed. Jungkook looks like he’s having the time of his life actually, his skin is
flushed, and his eyes are wide awake. He looks like he’s working up a sweat just from the
game and Yoongi finds that adorable. Taehyung waves at Yoongi when he sees him.
Jungkook turns to look at him, and their eyes don’t meet but he’s a lot less awkward than he
normally is, so that’s progress.

Instead of bothering them about Hoseok’s whereabouts, he leaves them to their game,
because it’s more important that Jungkook falls for Taehyung than it is for Yoongi to find
Hoseok. At least, imminently. Yoongi is sad at the prospect that Hoseok might have gone up
to bed already. He understands, but he also likes him so much that it makes him feel deflated
to be away from him for too long.
As a last-ditch effort, Yoongi peaks his head into the ballroom where they hold the rose
ceremony. The feeling of relief when he spots Hoseok sitting on the risers, book in hand, is
enough to fill even his toes. Hoseok is completely engrossed in his book, which he’s made
quite a bit of progress in, Yoongi can tell even being across the room from him. Yoongi’s
frame blocks some of the light coming into the dimly lit room which forces Hoseok’s head
up. His eyes find Yoongi and then so does his smile.

“Hi,” Yoongi says.

“Hi.”

Yoongi bites his lip as they look at each other. It might even be several minutes that Yoongi
stands there. Eventually he remembers his own feet and walks towards Hoseok. Hoseok folds
over the corner of his page and sets the book down beside him when Yoongi sits way too
close to him. He sits so close that it’s impossible for their arms not to brush, but that’s how he
wants them to be.

“How was your day?” Yoongi asks.

“Quiet. Jungkook and Taehyung beat the shit out of me at monopoly.”

“They’re still playing out there,” Yoongi says.

“Yeah, well our game lasted for like two hours and I got tired, so I gave all my assets back to
the bank but they decided to keep going. I wouldn’t be surprised if they’re still at it by
morning.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever finished a game of monopoly.”

“I don’t know if there’s ever an actual end or if you just keep going round and round until
there’s no money left in the bank… or at least that’s how I imagine those two are playing the
game at least.”

“Mm,” Yoongi nods. He considers resting his head on Hoseok’s shoulder, but he doesn’t. He
just feels the two of them a little bit too close to each other and wishes they were even closer.
Hoseok doesn’t ask him about Namjoon, because neither of them really cares how the date
went. Actually, no one in the house cares about how Yoongi’s “date” with Namjoon went,
because no one with two brain cells to rub together is under the impression that either of
them likes the other. Surely, some editor is going to have their work cut out for them to make
it look like he and Namjoon have chemistry, but in real life not so much.

Yoongi’s losing track of what’s happening each week. The episode where Yoongi won
Hoseok his giant cat won’t air until this coming Friday. How much of his relationship with
Hoseok will end up on the screen? Will his friends back home know that he’s already picked
Hoseok?

Yoongi puts his head on Hoseok’s shoulder anyway. He forgets why he would bother
pretending he doesn’t want to. Hoseok’s shoulder is definitely bonier than would be ideal, but
it would do the trick if he needed a nap on an airplane.
“Is your book good?” Yoongi asks him.

“Yeah,” Hoseok says, then shows him the cover. It’s unfamiliar, both title and author. “It’s
about zombies.”

“Aren’t you afraid of zombies?” Yoongi asks. Hoseok has never seen a horror film, and
Yoongi’s never sat all the way through one. It’s reassuring that neither of them will ever have
to watch a horror film for the other’s sake.

“I’m afraid of everything, Yoongi. I’m even scared of flies. I don’t even want to tell you how
old I was when I stopped using a night light.”

“Cute,” Yoongi says absently. He looks at Hoseok’s legs. He’s wearing shorts, despite the fact
that the night has cooled the mansion down a bit too much. Yoongi has always been kind of
sensitive to air conditioning and this house is a little overzealous with it.

Hoseok breathes in deeply and then rests his head on top of Yoongi’s. Yoongi thinks about
Hoseok falling asleep at the counter yesterday and it brings a smile to his face. How cute.
He’s not tired right now, drowsiness never kicks in very quickly when he’s around Hoseok.

“What was your favorite class in school, Seok?” Yoongi asks.

“I always liked literature and music. Hated science, too many big words. What about you?”

Yoongi hums to himself. “I liked art. I actually didn’t love music class, I’ve never been able
to sing, and I don’t do band instruments, it’s always been piano for me.”

“I just like making sounds. Obnoxious or not,” Hoseok says, and Yoongi laughs, because that
sure does sound like his Hoseok. “I like the idea of little middle school Yoongi rebelling
against music class by rapping.” That was probably around the time that he was starting to
grow disillusioned with school. He’s always been a little bit antagonistic towards the school
system, how it’s set up, how students are standardized in way that no human should ever be.
He doesn’t like being in a box or compared to other people. It just doesn’t make sense.

“Hoseok, I’m going to ask you something that’s going to sound kinda gay.”

“How gay are we talking?” He asks. “Like out of ten?”

“Nine.”

“Whoa, that’s gay.”

Yoongi nods. “It’s super gay.”

“Well, come on, let’s hear it then.”

“Okay,” Yoongi says and then he has a shy smile. He lifts his head off Hoseok’s shoulder so
as to look at him, which is always a dangerous feat. It’s hard to handle looking too hard at
Hoseok, his face is so pretty it might blind you. “Do you want to go stargazing with me?” He
bats his eyes for good measure, and Hoseok falls though a trap door. His entire heart falls out
of his chest and then he melts and now he’s a puddle. He’s just a little puddle on the floor.

“Um, yeah,” he says. His voice sounds like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, because
it is. Yoongi smiles widely at him in a way that shows off his gums and Hoseok wants to hold
him for the rest of his life. Just wants to get Yoongi into his arms and never let him go.

He doesn’t expect Yoongi to grab his hand, but he pulls Hoseok onto his feet and then
through the mansion. They walk through the living room, with a few heads looking up from
the couch, where some crime show is being watched. Jimin’s head is among them. Hoseok
barely has a second to see his raised eyebrow before Yoongi is opening the sliding screen
door. He’s just along for the ride, he’s only focused on the part of him that’s touching
Yoongi’s skin.

It’s dark outside, and the only lighting is what’s on the deck itself. Yoongi takes him down
the wooden steps, onto the grass. Hoseok hasn’t actually ventured onto the field behind the
house before, and he’s not wearing shoes, so his socked feet can feel the blades of grass
beneath them.

Yoongi points to Hoseok’s mic attached to his shirt and then begins to pull off his own. He
lets go of Hoseok’s hand as they both un-mic themselves. Yoongi turns it off and then leaves
it on the porch steps. Hoseok follows suit and the two of them walk through the grass
leisurely to get to the utmost edge of the property. There are no lampposts or anything, just
dark night, so when the two of them come to the fence at the far end, they’re totally out of
sight of any camera that could possibly capture them. They’re truly alone. It’s possible that if
someone were to press their face against a window, they’d be able to see them, but even then,
they’d just see two shadows.

“It’s kind of itchy,” Yoongi says, gesturing towards the grass. Yoongi has no right to
complain, he’s wearing pants while almost all of Hoseok’s legs are on display. Hoseok rolls
his eyes and sits down immediately and grabs both of Yoongi’s hands to pull him down with
him before he has the chance to complain. He makes a cute little “ah!” sound that has Hoseok
wanting to kiss him. Then again, Yoongi breathing makes him want to kiss him.

“Thank you for asking me to stargaze with you,” Hoseok says. They’re both sitting, Hoseok
has never done this before but he’s pretty sure you’re supposed to lie on your back.

Yoongi sighs, looking up. Hoseok looks at him, weirdly in love with the way his neck looks
when his head is facing towards the sky. The pale of his skin, the small bump of his Adam’s
apple. Yoongi is marvelous. He’s just stunning.

“I thought we deserved some privacy for once,” Yoongi says. Hoseok loves the cadence of
his voice. It’s deeper than you would expect from looking at him, but it’s not altogether deep.
Hoseok gulps. He could cry he has so many emotions for this man that seem too heavy for
him to hold onto.

“Sometimes, it feels like we’re not really together when there are cameras all over us.”
Hoseok is aware of how close they are to each other. His legs are out in front of him; in his
shorts the grass is itchy and might leave little green stains. Yoongi’s legs are right next to his,
scrawny and somewhat feminine.

Yoongi looks at him. He really looks at him. He looks at Hoseok’s face, into his eyes, inside
of him. It’s quiet for several minutes. Hoseok is aware of cricket sounds. They aren’t near a
body of water, so thankfully there’s no mosquitos. There are no fireflies either, which is a
shame.

“Come on then,” Hoseok says and he lies on his back, pulling Yoongi with him. This is what
stargazing is like in the movies. Except Hoseok turns his head to look at the man beside him,
not at the sky.

Yoongi hums. It’s so goddamn peaceful. They’re all alone and it’s perfect. The last time they
were alone without cameras or mics was in that fitting room, which doesn’t compare to this at
all. It feels right. This is how they’re supposed to be.

“I thought that there would be more stars since we’re not in the city,” Yoongi sighs. The sky
above them is deep blue, very few stars are bright enough to be seen. As he’s grown up,
Yoongi has become more and more aware of light pollution. You don’t think about it until
you look up and there’s nothing in the night sky. He doesn’t know if he’s ever really seen the
stars at all, because he’s just always lived in a country with too many bright lights. How far
away from civilization do you have to go to see all the stars there are to see? Maybe the
middle of the ocean.

“It’s okay,” Hoseok says. He almost says “I can just look at you” but it would be too tacky.

They lie there in silence. Hoseok can see a few stars reaching through the inky blue, and the
more he strains his eyes, the more that come through. He sighs contentedly. He really could
just lie here without words. Anything to be close to Yoongi. Comfortable next to Yoongi.
He’s glad that the grass isn’t wet, but the day was far too hot for it retain any moisture it
might have picked up. He’s aware that there are sprinklers on the lawn. He doesn’t know
when they activate, but he knows they’re there. Well, if they get attacked, they get attacked.
There’s nothing more to it.

He doesn’t realize that Yoongi’s hand crawls towards him until his fingers carefully play at
his wrist, trying to find his hand. He scoots his body closer and then they’re holding hands.
Hoseok gulps deeply. They’re holding hands. His fingers feel fuzzy. They feel like they’ve
just woken up after falling asleep. They’re holding hands. Yoongi’s hand burns him to the
touch but in a good way.

He can tell they’re about to have a serious conversation. It’s just in the air. They’re overdue
for something like that. Nothing is all flowers forever.

“You know on the American version of the show, or maybe in all the versions but ours,
there’s a bit near the end where the bachelor meets the parents of the final few contestants,”
Yoongi says. “I thought about asking Producer Dad why we’re not doing that on our show,
but I kind of figured out the answer myself. They can’t do a meet the parent’s episode
because a lot of us don’t have supportive parents. We’re gay or bi or whatever, and there’s
just too much pushback from our parents. Even if some people have parents who accept
them, there’s too many who don’t, and that means it would be impossible to plan for.”

Hoseok nods. He can feel himself somber, but it’s not Yoongi’s fault. It’s just a fact. It’s a
depressing fact, but they live in a world in which liking someone has rules, and if you don’t
follow the rules, you have to face the consequences.

“My parents just don’t talk about it. I’ve never brought home a boyfriend before, or a
girlfriend either. They know I’ve dated men, but they just pretend it’s not there. I don’t think
they hate me; they just wish I was different. I think they’ll ignore it no matter what happens.
I’m not even sure if they’d attend my wedding if I were to marry a guy. My brother, he’s only
a few years older than me, he’s supportive, it doesn’t matter to him at all who I date. But it’s
hard, you know? With parents, or older generations, they just don’t understand. I’ve never
had someone that I would want to take home to them, and even if I did, what would they
say?”

“What did you tell them about the show?” Hoseok asks. He doesn’t want to look at Yoongi
right now because he doesn’t want to make him uncomfortable. It feels courteous to look at
the sky instead of looking at him.

“I honestly just sent my mom a quick text and then put my phone away. I don’t know how
she responded, if she responded. I don’t know if she’s watching the show or what. I told my
brother about it, and he had a good laugh. But I guess I’ve just always had trouble with my
parents. My dad and I have never been close. Not ever. But it does hurt that my mom might
not be supportive of whoever I end up with, whether that’s you or someone I’ve yet to meet.
It’s sad.”

“I’m sorry,” Hoseok says, and he uses his thumb to pet Yoongi’s hand in his. He would take
all the sadness out of Yoongi if he could. He’d face all the pain for him. He never wants to
see Yoongi, his beautiful Yoongi, hurt or sad over anything.

Knowing things like this about Yoongi are important to him, because they made him who he
is. He wants to know all of Yoongi’s messy bits and tribulations, even if it’s hard to hear. He
never wants their relationship with each other to feel fake.

“But my happiness… it’s more important than their support. Like, it’ll suck if they never
accept me, but I’d rather live a life, do what I want to do, be with who I want to be with, than
have to walk around eggshells around people who should love me unconditionally. It’s kind
of like… if my parents only love me if I’m straight, they don’t really love me at all.”

Hoseok doesn’t know what to say. It’s awful. Everyone who’s ever questioned their sexuality
has a sad story to tell. Even if it’s small, even if it’s miniscule in comparison to other people’s
stories. Sad stories don’t really call for comparison, because it’s not fair. When you’re sad,
you don’t need someone to tell you that someone else has it worse.

“I didn’t mean to get so… expository on you. I feel like we never get to talk about serious
things. I’ve only ever really talked to you about the good things about my family. We haven’t
delved into their faults since like, our first date in that limo ride.”
“It’s okay. We’ve got to know these things about each other,” Hoseok says.

“I just don’t want you to think that… so say things work out between us. I don’t want you to
feel hurt if my parents don’t like you, or if they reject us entirely. I don’t want you to ever
wonder why I haven’t brought you home to them.”

“It’s not your fault if your parents don’t appreciate you as you are. That’s their loss.” He
looks at him and is shocked by how pretty Yoongi’s hair is in the moonlight. It’s such a bright
white that it almost glows in the dark. His skin is almost as pale as his hair, and he honestly
looks like an angel. Truly, he looks right out of heaven. He might as well glitter.

“I should tell you about me,” Hoseok says.

“You don’t have to.”

“I don’t want to have any secrets from you, Yoongi.” Hoseok breathes in and out steadily. He
looks at the sky and watches the trail of a plane as it passes over them. “I started dancing
when I was like… seven? Eight? I was really young. You know when you’re a little kid and
you have music class and sometimes your teacher will choreograph a dumb little dance? I
guess I was just a natural at it, and I loved it. I told my mom, my mom signed me up for
dance lessons. And I just did that for years. She said that they weren’t cheap, I’ve always
tried to figure out just how much money she spent on me, but she’ll take that secret to the
grave. Anyway, I just always danced. It was always what I did. No matter what, I knew I was
going to be a dancer. And when I got older, I started going to shows, going to competitions,
or even just dancing on the street. Just like, I had to dance. I always have to. It’s who I am.

“I joined a dance crew, we got- we got recognition, I guess? People started to know who I
was. I was still in high school, mind you, so it was a lot to handle to have attention thrown at
me like that. Well there was this summer, with this guy. I met him at a competition, he wasn’t
a dancer, just a guy who liked to watch. I guess we just fell in sync. I realized I liked him, but
I didn’t know what to do with that. I could tell he liked me too. And one day we just…
kissed?” He says it like a question. “Like we were just hanging out in his room and it was so
hot because his house didn’t have air conditioning. And we were sat on his bed. And then we
kissed. I don’t remember how I felt. I was just excited. Cause, see, I’d never kissed anyone
before. Not a girl, and certainly not a boy, because until that summer, I never even knew I
liked boys. But I liked him. And he liked me.”

Yoongi glances at Hoseok as he’s telling his story. He’s got such a sweet face, so soft and so
pretty. He’s got a little pimple popping up on his chin, but Yoongi likes knowing that he isn’t
always so perfect. He gets acne too, just not as often. Hoseok will probably try to hide it
when he realizes that it’s there, but Yoongi couldn’t care less. He’ll love that face even if
Hoseok were to get a scar right down the middle.

He likes the way that Hoseok’s hair is all messy in the grass and how his chest is steady as it
rises and falls. He looks back up at the sky when he’s worried that he’s looked at him for too
long.

“It was… it was never a good relationship. He was older than me, and once we were dating
or whatever he got kind of controlling and I stopped really feeling like a person with him, just
like someone for him to talk at and do what he wanted me to do. But I was young, and
thought I was in love, so I put up with it. One day his… his dad found us. He just about took
my eye out. I thought he was going to kill him, honestly, I thought he might kill me too. I just
ran out of the house terrified. His dad tried to grab me, probably wanted to hurt me, but I just
fled, all I could do was run as fast as I could. I was so concerned about myself that I left him
there, the boy. I think… well I don’t really know. He got shipped to his grandparents, that’s
what I heard at least, but that was all I ever heard. I’ve tried looking him up, but his name is
just too common. So I don’t know.”

“I’m so sorry,” Yoongi says. It’s a painful conversation for the both of them, but it feels like
this has needed to happen for a while. It’s all been good things, sweet things. Whenever
either of them talks about their families or their histories, they skip over the sad bits, because
it’s not something that either of them wants to show off, least of all not on camera.

“People in my scene found out. Other dancers learned what happened, he had a lot of friends
in the community. They learned that I was what went wrong. I was the villain in their eyes.
Some of them, I think some of them just started to use me as a vessel for their homophobia,
because there was finally someone to target. The dancing scene in Gwangju isn’t the best
place for someone who’s out. I never really meant to be out, but all of a sudden, I was. I
actually went and got myself a girlfriend so that maybe I could deny it, but it didn’t last long,
cause she could tell she was just a rebound. Besides, it was too late. I was gay to all of them.
Well, you know I’m bi, and I was working through that at the time, but words don’t matter to
them when all they cared about was being hateful.”

Hoseok looks drained talking about it. He doesn’t want to get into some of the really awful
things. Yoongi doesn’t need to know how many times he got beat up or spit on. He definitely
doesn’t need to know about being pushed over and kicked until his rib cracked. Those are
things that he’ll keep to himself, maybe indefinitely. For however long he can hide it. Even
his parents don’t know about the worst of it, because whenever he had bruises that couldn’t
be explained, he would crash at a friend’s house for as long as it took for them to go away. He
never told a soul about his rib. The only person who knows is the doctor who did the X-Ray.

“You don’t have to tell me all this,” Yoongi says, worried. Hoseok is never going to be a sob
story to him. He’s not like M, whose whole schtick is that you feel bad for him. Hoseok will
never be that person. He has had bad things happen to him which Yoongi wishes he didn’t
have to know about, but he’s Hoseok. He’s always going to be bright and smiley Hoseok.
Knowing what shit he’s gone through makes who he is even better. He can still keep his head
high and be his animated Hoseok-self. He still has those big smiles and the enormous laugh
and the sound effects. Yoongi appreciated it more and more with each passing day, just how
unique Hosoek really is.

“Well now we both know each other’s big secrets,” Hoseok shrugs. “It’s in my past, Yoongi.
I’m not ever going to let that drag me down.”

“I care about you so much,” Yoongi says, his voice sounds pained. He cares so fucking much
about Hoseok. They’ve known each other for three weeks, and he cares about him more than
he can fathom. They spend so much time together, it’s easy to fall for someone when you
spend as much time together as they have, but this feeling in his chest is unreal.
“All of that shit got me here,” Hoseok says. “To meet you. I wouldn’t change that.”

Yoongi rolls his eyes. Maybe they can escape the hard things for a moment. Talk about the
cute things.

“Go on, Seok. Why did you audition for this show?” It’s rather silly that he’s never asked
Hoseok that question.

Hoseok thinks on it for a moment. It was only a few months ago. It’s very surreal that he
really did just sign up for a show and then met Yoongi because of it. And Yoongi, of all
people, Yoongi also signed up for it. This is easily the luckiest thing that’s ever happened to
him.

“It’s gotten better through the years, but every now and again someone will try to start shit
with me. They’ll call me unrepeatable things. Sometimes I’ll let it roll off of me, but other
times it’s heavy. So anyway, I was feeling really depressed over some things that were said.
I’ve always felt like, well maybe if I only date girls, maybe it’ll be okay. But… then there’s
people like you. I can’t just hold who I am inside of me to make things easier. Cause there are
people like you who make my bisexuality kind of impossible to hold back.

“I didn’t go looking for the show, I was just kind of looking to find a safe space for myself,
like a group or I don’t know? But I found a casting call for this show, and I thought it was
ridiculously stupid. I still do. I made fun of it for a few days. But then I just thought… what if
I go on there and the world gets to see me for who I am? Because I’m great. I mean, I’m
amazing at what I do, and I’m fun. So I thought, well the world needs me to show up. I’ve
never seen anyone even remotely like myself on TV, so it felt like I had to. I think there are a
lot of people who need to see me.”

“Everyone deserves to see you,” Yoongi says. He gets up onto his elbow so that he can look
down at him. He has to take his hand out of Hoseok’s but that’s okay because he rests his
other hand on his chest where he can feel it rise and fall. Hoseok looks back. They’re inches
apart. It’s dark, so his pupils are blown, making the brown behind them look like a solar
eclipse.

“Yeah? Do I represent?” he laughs.

“Totally,” Yoongi says. Hoseok, as usual, has found a way to make himself sexier. It’s almost
annoying how he manages to always get better. He pushes a hair away from Yoongi’s face
before he even realizes he’s doing it. Yoongi registers it, but it doesn’t eat him away on the
inside. Hoseok likes to touch his hair, that’s always been very clear.

“How are you here?” Hoseok says. “How did this cynical, take no prisoners rapper land
himself on a dating show?

“Mmh,” Yoongi groans. This is an uncomfortable subject he would have hoped to have been
spared from talking about. “How I got on this show…? Well it wasn’t initially for a good
reason.” He feels modest and worried now. He’s still leaning on his elbow looking down at
Hoseok, who’s looking back with the most beautiful, accepting eyes. He has no idea what
kind of piece of shit Yoongi is for accepting a spot on this show. He has no idea how
dishonest he really is.

“Tell me.”

He huffs, but he can’t lie to Hoseok. He could try to make up one of his even crazier stories
about how he got here, but this is Hoseok. It’s not fair to lie to him anymore. “Well it started
out… I didn’t even realize what type of show I was signing on for at first. I was just, I had
been trying for so long to promote my mixtape, and a talent agency reached out to me, and I
just kinda fell into it. I didn’t really realize what it was until my first audition. I went home
that night, having read the synopsis of the show and I realized what sort of mistake I had
made. I don’t know what I thought it was, I don’t think I really thought anything that first
audition. The title… it was in English… I was lazy. I’m an idiot.

“After a few days, I was called back, and they were interested in me. I really grappled with it.
At first, I figured I’d just say it was a misunderstanding, that I wasn’t interested. But then I
thought more about it. I thought, am I really going to go through with this? This isn’t at all
what I had thought I was auditioning for… but they were interested in me. The first people
who saw me and wanted more, even if it wasn’t because of my music. I just thought, well,
maybe, even though it’s not like an idol show, or anything like that, it’s still attention. What I
need is attention.”

“You came into this just looking for a promo? Nothing else at all?” Hoseok asks, he pulls
himself up to sit instead of laying on his back, and Yoongi does the same. That can’t be a
good sign. Hoseok doesn’t make eye contact with him, his expression is unreadable.

These are the words that Yoongi least wants to have to face. He doesn’t want to hear the truth
out loud from someone he cares about. He can even feel a small tear come to his eye, but he
brushes it away before Hoseok can see it. He spent weeks upon weeks leading up the show
insisting he wouldn’t take it seriously. He even planned for how annoying he was going to be.
He would laugh sometimes to himself thinking about how stupid this all was. It was never
ever supposed to be real. It was never supposed to bring him Hoseok. It was never supposed
to make him feel alive.

“Yeah. That was how it started. It was just a stupid idea.”

“Please tell me your intentions have changed,” Hoseok says. Instead of aggression on his
face, he just looks hurt, concerned. He wants so much to be confident in himself, but
sometimes, the things Yoongi says makes him backtrack a little bit. It’s hard to tell what’s on
the surface and what he’s hiding below. Yoongi can be a little bit too enigmatic sometimes.

“I came into it for that, yeah,” Yoongi nods, “But these last few weeks, I’ve realized that I
have found more while here. I never intended to find anything else. In fact, I actively tried to
resist it at first.”

“Resist what?”

Yoongi takes a deep breath. He looks at him. He is so beautiful. Hoseok looks unimaginable
under the stars like this. Yoongi knows that he’s magical enough to be one of them, to shine
in the sky like the bright light that he is.

“You, Seok,” Yoongi says. “I tried to resist you.”

“Why?” Hoseok asks. It’s hard to even look back on their time together and picture Yoongi
resisting him. What he chalked up to nerves and shyness might have actually been Yoongi
trying to pull himself away. Why would he do that? Why would Yoongi do that? He thinks he
knows the answer, but after what Yoongi just confessed, he needs to hear it out of his own
mouth.

“Because I came into this show determined not to like anyone. And for a few days, I really,
really tried to stick to that. I thought that showing my vulnerabilities on TV would make me
look small and weak. It’s stupid to say, stupid to look back on. I was so focused on this whole
street cred idea that I thought I’d be able to maintain on this godforsaken show, but now I’m
looking at it, and I just can’t get over how stupid I was, because what does reputation even
fucking matter for anyway? What does reputation do for me? It doesn’t give me happiness,
doesn’t give me anything. I don’t even know if it exists.”

Hoseok looks like he could cry, and Yoongi doesn’t know if it’s the bad kind or the good
kind. He doesn’t want Hoseok to ever cry. He’s worried about going in for a hug because
what if Hoseok is pissed at him right now? He doesn’t want to overstep. Yoongi is scared that
he just fucked it all up.

He can’t have done all this development as a person only to have fucked it up now. It’s not
fair. Surely, they’re just being melodramatic, maybe because of the ambiance of the show.
He’s got a very real terror in his stomach at the thought that he could push Hoseok away from
him. He’s never been pulled into someone else’s orbit before. Hoseok is the first one. Maybe
he’s the only one.

“You fucking idiot,” Hoseok says to him before he’s leaping on top of him and hugging him
like he’s trying to stop himself from killing him. “You’re so dumb.” They go sprawling back
onto the grass, Hoseok buries his head into Yoongi’s neck and takes everything in. Now this
is a feeling neither of them has experienced before. Hoseok is on fucking top of him. It’s just
closeness, it’s not sexual.

Yoongi is so stunned that he doesn’t process anything for a few moments. The two of them
have barely ever hugged and now Hoseok is on top of him like they’re the two closest people
in the universe. He’s so warm and squishy in all of the right places.

After his shock wears off, he’s elated. Hoseok is hugging him. Hoseok cares about him.
Hoseok forgives him for being stupid. Hoseok, Hoseok, Hoseok.

Hoseok holds onto him like he was lost at sea for twelve years and has finally returned home.
He hugs Yoongi because he thinks if he didn’t, he’d cry. His head is turned inward to
Yoongi’s neck, because if it wasn’t, he’d have his face smashed right into the grass. He
breathes him in, not very subtly. Yoongi always smells good. He smells like he thinks he’s
expensive. An oaky syrupy smell.

“I’m not going to hide from you anymore, Seok.”

“You’d fucking better not,” Hoseok says, pulling himself up to look into Yoongi’s eyes. Both
of them consider kissing each other, but it doesn’t happen. Yoongi can tell it’s not going to
happen before he has the thought to make it happen. For Hoseok’s sake, he thinks it’s only
fair for there to be a little bit of time between now and when he does finally get to kiss this
boy. Clarity or something to that extent. They need to cool off before they can dive in
headfirst.

Yoongi would ideally not kiss someone on camera. It’s not like he has any strong moral
beliefs that forbid it, but the idea of anyone, even just one person in the world watching him
kiss someone just weirds him out a little bit. And if he kisses Hoseok, that’s going to make it
into the next episode without question, and it will probably be a clip played at the beginning
of every proceeding episode as “previously on The Bachelor: Boys Will Be Boys”, and in
YouTube videos and on news sites. He doesn’t have any actual clue how well the show is
doing but he’s been a part of this whole circus so he knows it has to be good. Kissing Hoseok
on TV… damn, well he knows its kind of inevitable that it happens at some point but he’s
still wary of it. The second that kiss is seen by even the smallest audience will catapult the
show. Did you hear? Two boys kissed on TV! Really? Two boys? Can you send me a link?
Retweet, reblog, share, repeat.

“You fuck me up, Hoseok.”

“I try,” he says. He puts Yoongi’s face in his hands and it’s the closest Yoongi’s ever been to a
person. Not physically, because he’s had a dick in his ass before, that’s about as close as two
people can physically get. No, this is emotional closeness. His colors blend together with
Hoseok’s. Yoongi doesn’t feel emotional closeness like this to anyone. He has secrets he
would never tell his brother that he would gladly spill to Hoseok.

“This show isn’t a competition show, and we both know that.” Yoongi says. Hoseok is still on
his lap, he’s wondering if he should be getting turned on, but it’s not that kind of moment. It
feels like a late-night sleepover when you’re young, and you’re kind of numb, and you’re
talking nonsensically. Except everything is clear to him. “Whatever competition there might
have been left as soon as I first saw you.”

Hoseok smiles. “What did you think when you first saw me?”

“I thought you were beautiful.”

“You met a lot of beautiful people that night, Yoongi. I can’t have been more beautiful than
Jimin? Than Seokjin?”

“Uniquely beautiful. Everyone else could be found in a catalog, but you’re the special kind of
pretty. You’re way more attractive than anyone else. Except maybe me, of course.” Hoseok’s
fingers are stroking his neck and it’s making him see stars, and not the kind that are right
above them.

“Of course,” Hoseok says… “Shit.” He’s looking at Yoongi and then he looks at his lips and
Yoongi wonders if it is actually going to happen. “We weren’t supposed to find each other.
This show wasn’t meant to be real. I came here hoping… I just assumed it wasn’t going to
work. How lucky did I get that it was you?”
 They don’t kiss. They don’t kiss at all that night. Eventually, Hoseok presses his back against
Yoongi’s chest and they just look up at the sky together. Yoongi pretends he sees the big
dipper, but it’s not there. He wouldn’t even know what the big dipper looks like.

They don’t kiss. But they cuddle, and isn’t that better anyway? Hoseok gets Yoongi to laugh
over and over again. Even the tone of Hoseok’s voice is funny, he loves how Hoseok’s dialect
gets stronger and stronger as the night progresses and he gets more tired. His cheeks get red
and painful from laughing, but Hoseok doesn’t relent until his eyes grow too heavy.

They don’t kiss, but eventually, Yoongi has to pull an almost unconscious Hoseok up into the
mansion. He checks the time to see that it’s well past midnight. Everyone is already asleep or
at the very least, upstairs in their respective rooms. He considers dragging Hoseok up into
their separate rooms, but he’s too tired for that. He’d never make it up the stairs with Hoseok
on his arm, he doesn’t know how Taehyung managed it. It pretty much takes all of the energy
he has to get Hoseok onto the couch. Hypothetically, Yoongi could sleep on another couch
and let Hoseok have his own space. But there’s only one blanket, and besides— “Yoongi,”
Hoseok says softly. His eyelids look so heavy, he can’t believe how Hoseok is still awake at
all.

They don’t kiss. But Yoongi falls asleep with Hoseok’s chest pressed against his cheek.

Chapter End Notes

Todays comment prompt is for you to tell me your favorite Pokemon. I'll start: I like
totodile because he is babey. PLEASE LEAVE COMMENTS GUYS!!!!!
 JK
Chapter Summary

Taehyung and Jungkook are cuties.

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

{{

(The Bachelor: Boys Will Be Boys SK Interview Jung Hoseok #11)

Interviewer: So you’ve been spending a lot of time with Yoongi. Probably more than any
other contestant.

Hoseok: (smiling) Well that’s just the reward for waking up early, I guess.

Interviewer: So is it safe to say you like Yoongi?

Hoseok: Yeah, you could say that. [Is there any doubt?]

Interviewer: Do you ever get jealous of other contestants? He’s going on dates with other
people while you get left all alone at the mansion, how does that make you feel?

Hoseok: It’s a layered question for sure. There are times where I’m jealous, obviously, but
I’m learning not be jealous because I think his eyes stray. More than anything, I get jealous
that other people spend time with him when I’m not spending time with him. My relationship
with Yoongi, it’s in the developmental stage. It’s still important for me to be around him as
much as I can. I want to be near him, so whenever I’m not, I wish I was. My jealousy isn’t
like a raging fire against anyone else, it’s just me wishing I could spend all of my free time
with him.

Interviewer: Who is your biggest competition so far?

Hoseok: I don’t believe I have any.

Interviewer: You’re that confident?

Hoseok: Yeah, I am.

Interviewer: There’s still nearly two months left of the show, do you think he might develop
feelings for someone else?
Hoseok: I seriously doubt it. I don’t want to go too far into it, but I know what I mean to him.
I know how he feels, we have a very open line of communication. It helps that I spend my
mornings with him. Yoongi is very honest with me, he’s always reassuring me not to feel…
not to feel any competition. Pretty much no competition at all. When you start a relationship,
you always have doubts, you know? Does this person feel the same way that I do? Am I
taking things too fast? How do they really feel? But with this show being what it is, it’s
meant that Yoongi and I have had to be a little more open and blunt with how we feel that we
ordinarily would in a relationship. I know that Yoongi doesn’t look at anyone besides me
because he’s told me.

Interviewer: Talk me through what you feel, what you think, when you’re with Yoongi.

Hoseok: [Finally! A good question] When I’m with him I just feel very happy. It’s hard to
explain. Things just make sense when I’m with him. I know how to describe concepts that
defy description. The way that we talk to each other is easier than with anyone I’ve ever met.
Within the first ten minutes of knowing Yoongi, I understood his humor and his perspective
on things, through some amazing feat of empathy that I’ve never felt before. Now obviously,
these are all new, fresh feelings; things are always roses when you first meet someone. But I
just know that we mix. He has a voice and a mind that won’t make me bored even fifty years
from now. I wish you could feel the way I feel, it would knock you the [censored] out, but it
feels so good. I wish there was a way to say it, but it really is just something that has to be
felt.

Interviewer: [What is this feeling I have inside of me right now? I’m… happy for him?]

Hoseok: I just know that Yoongi and I are going to know each other for a very, very long
time.

**Notes from the director: He is far too sure of himself. Scrap this interview.

}}

Yoongi falls off the couch when Seokjin bites into the apple. A moment ago, he had most
certainly not been awake. All it takes is a fraction of a second for him to realize where he is
and for him to fall onto the ground seconds after the dreadful realization that he’s conscious.
The ground is hard and he bumps his hip painfully when he hits it, but he’ll live. Physically,
that is. Emotionally maybe not so much.

“You sleep well?” Seokjin asks, his mouth still full of his goddamn apple.

Yoongi looks up to see that Hoseok has also been jolted awake, though it might be more due
to the fact that Yoongi flailed and smacked him in the head on the way down. Hoseok’s hair
is literally all over his face and he has to push it back in order for him to see what’s going on.
They both look like they’ve been woken up from the deepest sleep imaginable, and that’s
probably because they were.

Yoongi scrambles for something to say but Seokjin just stands in the dining room trying not
to burst out laughing at them. Yoongi has questioned a few times whether Seokjin knew
about him and Hoseok, but this pretty much proves it.
“I’d say it’s not what it looks like, but it really is,” Hoseok’s voice is very groggy. It sounds
like he’s close to losing his voice because of how much they were talking last night. Yoongi
likes the way it sounds, it’s sultry and a little bit too hot.

“Hey, at least you’re wearing pants, right?” Seokjin says. Yoongi realizes now that he took
the blanket with him, and that’s fucking a mercy because Yoongi has a little bit of a morning
problem. The blanket covers what needs to be covered, but he gathers it and covers his head
too, because he’s turning red and does not want to be seen right now.

Someone else comes down the stairs and that’s sort of inconvenient for Yoongi’s
embarrassment, but he already knows whose voice he’s about to hear. They wake up in
almost the exact same order every day. In about twenty minutes, M and R will come down.
The very last person to wake up will be either D or Jungkook.

“Is that human shaped lump on the floor Yoongi?” Namjoon asks.

“Pretty sure,” Hoseok says. He feels so well rested that he might as well be floating on a
cloud, but he’d also really like to go back to sleep. The parts of his body that were just
pressed against Yoongi are still tingling. Also, his hand is asleep but that’s because Yoongi
was lying on top of it.

“I’m not here, pretend I’m not here,” Yoongi says. How is he going to get out of this
situation? He’s got a goddamn boner and there’s three people all looking at his blanket-ghost
self. But at least he’s got the blanket.

Seokjin continues to eat his apple, with every bite sounding sharp to Yoongi’s ears. He’s got
to get upstairs to spare himself from further embarrassment, and the blanket is fucking going
with him.

“I’ve got to shower,” Yoongi says, standing up and draping the blanket like Dracula’s cape
around him. Hoseok gives the other two a smile and then follows behind him. He doesn’t
comment on the blanket. Namjoon and Seokjin give each other a look as they leave and
Namjoon is probably thinking how much he wishes that it had been them who fell asleep on
the couch together. He wonders if Seokjin wishes the same.

“You’re so fucking cute, Yoongi,” Hoseok says. He’s a few steps behind him, and Yoongi is
too afraid to look at him. His hair is all staticky because of the blanket, and they put makeup
on him for his date yesterday which has not been taken off yet, so he might look like a clown.
If this becomes a regular occurrence, it’s going to throw Yoongi’s whole schedule out of
whack, because he always showers at nights, but this is the second time he’s had to shower in
the morning, and he doesn’t love it. He likes washing the day off of him and getting into his
bed nice and clean, but then again, he prefers being near to Hoseok than he does anything
else.

When they get to the second-floor landing, they have to part ways. It feels like last week,
only this time, there are sounds of consciousness coming from behind the other doors.
Hoseok is going to have to compete for the shower. Ugh, that’s what was so nice about
waking up before anyone else; he didn’t have any competition.
They look at each other for an incredibly long time as Yoongi dreads having to go upstairs,
but neither of them really knows what to say. Yoongi wants to ask him to be his boyfriend,
but that would be weird under these particular circumstances.

Hoseok figures out what to do. He steps really close to Yoongi. The blanket seems to be
weighing him down so Hoseok is taller than him than he usually is. Then he gives Yoongi a
kiss on his cheek which causes his entire face to turn red. His ears too. Hoseok steps back and
looks at him, proud of his handiwork. Yoongi is the cutest little tomato in the entire world.

“Good morning,” he whispers softly.

“Morning,” Yoongi says. He’s kind of dumbstruck. He doesn’t know how to use his feet. He’s
self-conscious of Hoseok looking at him, because he feels like an absolute mess. His face
feels a little cakey and puffy, he’s got boogers in the corners of his eyes, and his hair is a
nightmare. Hoseok looks like a more relaxed version of his normal unattainably pretty self.
His hair is going in every direction, but from a distance, it might look intentional.

“Thank you,” Hoseok says. There are a million things he might be thanking Yoongi for, but
he doesn’t really need specifics. He’s fine with just that.

He attempts to stop a smile, but he’s never been good at that when Hoseok is around. “You’re
welcome,” he says, before he turns and makes his way upstairs. Hoseok watches him go,
listening to the soft trail his blanket makes before he disappears. His heart bangs painfully in
his chest. He’s falling for Yoongi loud and hard. He bites his lip and smiles to himself before
he walks over to his room and opens the door.

Someone is in the bathroom, because the shower is running. D, in his single bed, is still
asleep. Taehyung’s feet are hanging off the side of his bed, swaying like he’s singing a tune in
his head that his feet can’t help but dance to. Hoseok determines that S, their other roommate,
must be in the bathroom. That’s annoying, because he usually takes the longest showers.

He sighs, and just goes over to the bunkbed he shares with Taehyung. He has the bottom
bunk, but he climbs up and sits down wordlessly next to Taehyung up top. He’s got a book in
his hand, but he doesn’t appear to be reading it, especially not when Hoseok clambers next to
him.

Taehyung whispers at him because D is still asleep, “you didn’t come back last night.”

“I fell asleep on the couch.”

Taehyung gives him a smile with a knowing glint in his eyes. “Oh?”

Hoseok shakes his head. “How did your game of Monopoly go?”

“We ended up on a tie. But then Jimin came in and wanted to play a game so we played a few
rounds of some murder type game with too many rules.”

“Are they falling in love with you?”

Taehyung shrugs bashfully. His face says that yes, something is most definitely happening. It
feels like watching a romantic comedy, Hoseok knows that they’re going to get together in
the end, but he’s impatient about the process.

“Spill,” Hoseok demands.

Taehyung looks around, even though D is dead asleep and snoring, and the shower is still
running. “There was a moment where Jimin put his head on my lap.”

“Aw,” Hoseok says, nudging his shoulder and smiling. He loves that they’re all finding love
with each other on this stupid show. Wouldn’t that just piss Producer Dad off so much? They
cast so many people who are all supposed to fall in love with Yoongi but they ended up
falling for each other instead.

He can’t stop his heart from warming up at the prospect of Taehyung, Jimin, and Jungkook
all together. They all complement each other so well. Taehyung deserves all the love and
attention in the entire world so he wants both of them to adore him as much as they should.
One person being painfully in love with Taehyung just doesn’t seem like enough for how
special he is.

“Have you ever considered the idea of dating them both?” Hoseok asks. It’s important for
him to broach the topic as Yoongi had, because he didn’t come up with the idea on his own.
He wants to make sure Taehyung is open to the idea. A decision like that would be hard. Both
Jungkook and Jimin are wonderful and sweet in unique ways. If he were Taehyung, he’d also
have difficulty picking just one.

Taehyung turns redder than Yoongi had when he kissed his cheek, so he has to suppress a
giggle. “I thought about it a little, yeah.”

“And?”

Taehyung grabs his pillow and presses his face into it. “I don’t know. Does it make me dirty?
Is it okay?”

Hoseok makes an empathetic sound in his throat. “Of course it’s not dirty, Tae. Lots of people
are poly, it’s okay.”

“But it’s not like… I’ve just never wanted that before. But here I am, falling for two people at
once and I don’t want to let go of either of them, but I’m afraid of being… different.”

“Taehyungie,” Hoseok says, and wraps both of his arms around him. “You’re perfect and
special and you can feel however you want to feel. Your feelings are valid. Maybe only one
of them likes you back, and that’s okay. Maybe they both like you back and that’s awesome.
All that matters is that you’re happy. If either of them ever loves you as much as you deserve,
I know you’ll be happy.” Taehyung is bigger than him, but he still feels small in Hoseok’s
arms. Hoseok honestly doesn’t think he’s ever had a friend he adores as much as Taehyung.
He’s got the warmest personality ever and he could improve anyone’s life by just sitting next
to them.
“So what if it was the three of us?” he says, and when Hoseok pulls away to look at him,
Taehyung is beaming with the idea of it. It doesn’t take a whole lot to cheer Taehyung up, he
only needs someone to show him the slightest bit of support and he lightens his mood easily.
Hoseok thinks it’s perfect. He wants Taehyung to get everything he wants ever. Seeing
Taehyung so excited makes him think about how happy he is with Yoongi. How happy he’ll
be if he and Yoongi run off into the sunset together.

It’s kind of weird how Hoseok once thought love was just a dream. It’s not like he didn’t
think he would fall in love. He thought that falling in love would be like entering a dream. It
would feel surreal and otherworldly. But the way he likes Yoongi doesn’t feel like it’s
anything other than what it is. His feet feel more planted to the surface of the earth than they
ever have before. Maybe like gravity has always been failing him until Yoongi reached up to
hold his hand. It’s better than a dream, because it’s real. He’s dizzy with his overwhelming
feelings, but the high is amazing.

Nothing he feels is a dream which is so crazy he hardly believes it. It hurts to feel so much all
at once, but it hurts good. It hurts like his chest can’t take in enough air, but the air it takes in
feels like bliss. Yoongi has shown him passion he didn’t know he had. He wants always to
impress him, but always to make him laugh. There’s a whole new world out there. Wow.

“The three of you together makes so much sense to me,” Hoseok says at last. “Jungkook is
shy at first but underneath all of that is an untamed genius. He’s invigorating, you know? I
think he doesn’t realize how funny or adventurous he is. Then there’s Jimin who’s a big dork
with a smile like a sunrise. He’s so affectionate and sweet, but also very serious when you
need him to be. And you. Taehyung who is so kind and warm to everyone he meets and looks
at things from a different angle than anyone has before him. The three of you can always egg
each other on but also pull each other back.”

Taehyung buries his head in his pillow again. Hoseok pretends to massage his back but
instead he just grabs skin in bunches. Taehyung looks at him, he’s folded over with his head
basically in his own lap. “I wonder if you know what Yoongi is like when you’re not around.
It’s almost like you’ve taken his coffee away from him, or a battery that he needs to run on.
He’s nice and funny, smiles and laughs, but then you enter the room and it’s like he’s on a
higher setting. Like a power mixer.”

Is that what he is? Yoongi said something similar. He told Hoseok that he plays his music too
loud. It fills Hoseok up to the brim with both confidence and modesty. Is he really that
influential over Yoongi? He always smiles around him, but Hoseok doesn’t ever actually see
the back end. To think… maybe he makes Yoongi better.

He just sighs, “Yoongi and I will look hideous compared to you three.”

“Shut up,” Taehyung says, hitting him. Hoseok listens to him wax on and on about how cute
Jungkook and Jimin are for another ten minutes. Jungkook’s tiny scar on his cheek and
Jimin’s small hands. Taehyung was born to be a poet in some other lifetime. The shower
stops eventually, and a few minutes after it, so does D’s snoring. When they’re in danger of
being overheard, they instead talk about movies or comics or whatever weird things
Taehyung thinks up in his brain. He’s got a few conspiracy theories that only Taehyung
would ever have.
Just upstairs, Yoongi spends a lot of the day sitting in his room with his own thoughts. He
takes a place in his bed and thinks. Just thinks. He thinks about Hoseok’s hair. He wants to
put his hands in it. He thinks about Hoseok’s skin. He wants to press himself against him. He
thinks about his fingers and toes, his ears, his elbows.

The funny thing is, Yoongi doesn’t know what half of human emotions are like. He’s only
experienced some of them. It feels like a deck that you collect items for. He knows sadness,
depression, happiness, fear, humor, curiosity. But he doesn’t know the deep things, because
nothing monumental has ever really happened to him. He doesn’t know despair. He doesn’t
know ecstasy. He doesn’t know rage. He doesn’t know love, except for what he feels for his
family, but that’s not the kind of love he’s thinking about. He’s never been in love. He hasn’t
collected it yet.

He’s not in love yet. But “yet” is the word that strikes him. This is a precursor. It can’t be
anything but that. Something is changing inside of him and he likes the way it makes him
feel. If he lets it happen, he’ll be able to add a new emotion to his index. Real love. Real,
true, bone-breaking love.

There’s no explanation for it, for why this is happening. He’s heard a thousand songs about
being in love, but never has it been explained to him how it feels to fall into it. No lyric could
ever make him feel the bottomlessness that he feels now. It’s nothing that can ever be shown
or told, it’s just what it is. It’s a solid, a liquid, and a gas.

Yoongi smiles, falls back onto his bed and looks at the ceiling. He’s never been more excited
for anything in his life. He’s excited to be with Hoseok like a little kid is excited about the
PlayStation they asked Santa for for Christmas. He wants to feel this way forever, and he
supposes it will probably damper off a bit with time, but nothing could ever make him enjoy
Hoseok’s company less. He cannot become immune to Hoseok, it’s just impossible.

Yoongi finds himself writing down his thoughts without ever intending to do it. He writes
like the impassioned young musician he was when he wrote his mixtape. It comes easy. First
the words, then he realizes there’s a beat behind them. Normally, he’d just make a voice
memo on his phone, but without a phone, he has to break out the audio equipment that he
brought on a whim, which severely pissed Producer Dad off. He thought maybe he’d find
inspiration while trapped away in the house and he’d need it. Well… he was right.

It doesn’t really amount in a song; it’s just scraps of something. There’s not much he can
make of it without a proper computer, but it’s something at least. He only has to stop himself
when it feels like his stomach is going to eat itself. His stomach makes a very audible
grumble that might even get caught on mic.

“Disrespectful of you,” he says to his stomach. It’s equal parts hunger and those vacant
feelings of wanting to be near Hoseok. That’s a different breed of hunger.

Yoongi makes his way downstairs where almost everyone else is already gathered. D is
telling a story about himself that is probably not true, but people are invested in at least
knowing what lie he’s invented this time. Hoseok offers him a bowl of instant noodles that
someone else made, and he accepts it. It’s a little cold, but Yoongi will eat almost anything on
the planet. He’s the opposite of a picky eater.
The two of them make lots of eye contact but don’t say anything. They don’t want to disrupt
D’s rich tale of swashbuckling and adventure. Yoongi only tunes in and out but he thinks D’s
talking about evading a parking ticket.

Yoongi is thinking about last night. He’s probably going to think about last night until the day
he dies. They just talked for hours. Hoseok sat against him and he smelled fucking amazing.
Yoongi can still smell him. They made their own constellations and gave them stories. Stories
so rich he could tell them to his distant grandchildren. They actually fell asleep in each
other’s arms and it was the soundest he’s slept in years, even though it was on a couch.

It’s unbelievable that he’s sitting in the dining room right now with a bunch of men and he
has pretend he didn’t cuddle one of them all night long. He doesn’t think his face could
possibly hide it. Him and Hoseok. Only two people know they held each other all night
long… well, and the production crew, and by next week, the entire country. But still, Jimin
doesn’t know about it and Taehyung… well Taehyung actually probably does, because he and
Hoseok are pretty tight. But Jungkook?

Yoongi looks around and notices that Jungkook is actually not here. He looks worried, and
tries to communicate to Hoseok who’s missing, but it’s hard to keep track when there are so
many guys all living in one house. Hoseok shrugs at him as he doesn’t know who to be
looking for.

Yoongi sighs. His first instinct is to check the game room, but he’s not there. Then the
ballroom, where he had found Hoseok hiding last night, but he isn’t there either. Jungkook
quite likes the outdoors, so Yoongi decides he must be outside, so long as he has in fact
woken up. It is past noon, so he should be awake.

He finds Jungkook eating his lunch on the front steps of the mansion. He’s looking off at the
world like he can see the horizon somewhere in the distance. He’s too focused on his food
that he doesn’t hear the door open. Yoongi sees him sitting there, and his heart soars just a
little bit. Off to his right is the trailer, and even with no filming today, there are still people
standing around it. He wonders if they’re going to send a camera into the house like they do
sometimes, but that’s something to worry about later.

Right now, he just steps over and sits next to Jungkook before he has time to register who’s
sitting next to him. Maybe the shock has already worn off of him by the time that Yoongi
looks over, or maybe Jungkook is starting to feel comfortable around him.

“Yoongi, hi,” he says. His voice still sounds a little on edge, but there’s not much to be done
about that.

“Hey Jungkook. How are you?”

“I’m alright.”

“That’s good.” There’s an awkward silence. Yoongi worries that Jungkook is going to get up
and leave him, so he has to stop him from going. “Do you still hate me?”

“Hate you?” Jungkook is surprised by the word. “Since when did I ever hate you?”
Yoongi shrugs his shoulders. “I don’t know. You haven’t talked to me since last week.”

Jungkook bows his head and nods. He looks into his bowl and then sets it beside him. Yoongi
wonders if he’s going to forget it there. Jungkook seems like the kind of person who might do
that. “I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s my fault. I really fucked up, and I’m the one who should be sorry.”

Jungkook looks at him, but now it’s Yoongi who’s looking away. He certainly feels kind of
weird today, like he woke up deaf in one ear. The world just seems a little bit different than it
was yesterday. It’s Hoseok’s doing, there’s no doubt about it. He’s struggling with the
beginning stages of falling in love with someone, so that’s bound to make him feel a little
different.

“I’m the one who made an idiot of myself, Yoongi. You were just honest with me. I can’t
blame you for that.”

“It doesn’t… I just wish I had handled it better, Jungkook. I thought I’d give you some space
after, but then… well, you haven’t really looked at me or said anything and I don’t want you
to think that… I really just want things to be okay between us.”

He purses his lips, either in thought or because he’s trying to withhold from talking for as
long as he can manage. “I see how you look at him,” he says eventually. “I just wish I had
noticed it sooner.”

Yoongi sighs and then puts a hand on Jungkook’s shoulder. He has no doubt that Jungkook
knows what he’s talking about. He’s very smart, you can tell even before he says anything.
It’s in his eyes and his stride. It would be easy to write him off as a cute face with sweet
features, but there are many layers in even just a facial expression of his. “I never meant to
hurt you, Jungkook. It sucked having to let you down like that, but I had to be honest with
you, and I will continue to be. I just like him so much, Jungkook. I never knew I could like
someone the way I like him, but I do. Unfortunately, you were caught in the crosshair.”

“I don’t blame you,” Jungkook shakes his head. “I don’t blame you at all. It’s just that, I
auditioned for this show because I really do want to fall in love. Why else do you sign up for
a dating show? All your friends will give you shit, and audiences may not like you, so the
only reason to do it is because you really truly want to do it. And our solo date went really
well, right? Like we were bouncing off of each other; it was a little awkward to start, but we
made it work, we fell in sync. Then I threw out the ‘like’ word, and my dreams were crushed.
I went through all the effort to get cast, I had to take an extended vacation from my job, I had
to find someone to housesit, but it all blew up on week two. My heart was kind of broken, not
because I’m in love with you or anything like that, but because I thought there was going to
be a reason I had done all of that stuff, but it turns out there wasn’t. I went through all that
trouble and came up empty before anything even kicked off.”

“Aw Jungkook,” Yoongi feels like a pathetic goddamn fish struggling to get back into the
water. “Someone is going to fall so hard and fast in love with you that they’re going to break
their bones on the way down. I know it. I really, really do.”
“Why did you give me a rose this week though?” Jungkook asks it in a way like he’s been
bursting with the question for years. “I thought for sure I was going to go home. What made
you keep me here?”

Yoongi laughs a little bit and turns to look at him. Jungkook is so pretty. God, he’s the
prettiest boy in the entire universe and Yoongi hopes he knows that. Jungkook could get any
person, man or woman, to fall in love with him. Because he’s Jungkook.

“I think you’re amazing. I think you’re fantastic. I think you’re cute as all hell and I wish that
I had met you sooner. I just don’t like you romantically. And honestly, truly, I think there’s a
Yoongi in a parallel universe to ours who really is in love with you. Unfortunately, he’s not
me.”

“So then why keep me?” Jungkook asks. It’s hard to tell how hurt he still is, or what pain was
ever real. Because, when Yoongi rejected him, they had only known each other for about a
week, and hadn’t talked that much. But rejection stings whenever it’s given to you. A crush, a
school, a job. Being told no sucks.

“What if I told you it’s because I know someone who likes you?”

Jungkook makes a face that expresses every thought he’s ever had in his entire life. Yoongi
sees test scores, video game failures, birthday cakes, and everything else all in his eyes at
once. It’s the rawest shock that has ever been felt.

Jungkook absolutely did not even a little bit consider even the tiniest fraction of an amount
that someone might like him. Yoongi stares at him, the poor kid is dumbstruck. Is Jungkook
so oblivious that he can’t tell other people might be attracted to him? It’s Namjoon all over
again! Why does Yoongi always want to pet Jungkook on the head like this, it’s a little
ridiculous? He can’t honestly think of Jungkook like a little brother when only a few weeks
ago, he debated whether he was attracted to him or not. He feels very possessive over
Jungkook, despite him being one of the people he knows the least about in the mansion.

“Oh, Jungkookie,” Yoongi says, and he almost puts his head on Jungkook’s shoulder, but
considering the weird tension they’ve had, he decides against it. “Have you ever had a ‘friend
crush’ on someone? Like, not in a romantic way at all, but you see someone, and you want to
be their friend so badly? ‘If this sonofabitch doesn’t love me platonically then I’m going to
cry?’ Jungkook, I think you’re amazing. I can’t explain what draws me to you, but I think
you’re great.”

“Someone likes me?” Did he hear any of what Yoongi just said? Oh, sweet, precious, little
Jungkook.

“Yes, Jungkook. I know of at least one person who likes you, possibly two.”

“How do you know?” he asks. He looks like a deer in the headlights. His eyes are glossy and
even though he’s looking at Yoongi, he probably doesn’t actually see him. Jungkook would
not be able to tell him how many fingers he’s holding up.
“Because that person told someone straight out that they like you, and that person told me.”
Sure, Taehyung told him by way of the game telephone via Hoseok, but it’s a concrete fact no
matter how he found out. Yoongi doesn’t know with any certainty whether Jimin actually
does feel anything for Jungkook, because he’s pretty affectionate towards everybody, but still,
Yoongi thinks that Jimin has to have inevitably gotten a crush on him because he’s Jungkook.

“Who is it? Who likes me? You said there are two people?”

“Is this how I get you to talk to me again?” Yoongi jokes. “By telling you someone likes
you?”

“Well it’s just…” Jungkook looks at his hands. His pretty tattooed hands that parallel
universe Yoongi is in love with. “After you rejected me, I just assumed I would be going
home. But then I didn’t, and it didn’t make any sense to me. If you don’t like me, why would
you keep me here? But now you’re saying you kept me here because someone likes me? How
is that not supposed to make me freak out a little bit?”

“I mean, I also kept you here because I want you to be my friend.”

“What? Oh,” Jungkook blushes. “Thank you.”

“You’re so precious,” Yoongi says under his breath.

“Are you going to tell me who likes me?” Jungkook asks. Right now, Jungkook looks ten
years younger than he is. That means he looks like a literal child, but with his eyes open wide
like that, it definitely makes him look younger.

“Why should I?”

“Yoongi!”

Yoongi just shrugs his shoulders, feeling rather haughty.

“You can’t just say things like that and then not give me anything to go on. There are ten
other guys in there, how am I supposed to know which one likes me? Which two like me?
Holy shit,” he says the last part to himself, but Yoongi snorts.

“You’ve got to promise to be my best friend forever then.”

Jungkook realizes the game he’s playing, and he concedes. It’s very unlike Jungkook not to
play to win, but he can tell when someone makes him a good offer. Having a crush on
Yoongi, whether he’s fully put it in the past or not, means he’s able to see all of his good
qualities. He’ll make a good friend for life, even if Jungkook never lives down his
confession, which he sure damn hopes he does. As awful as it was to be turned down like
that, thank god it didn’t happen in week eight or nine. Jungkook would be inconsolable.

“It’s a promise then.”

Yoongi nods happily. Then he pulls Jungkook close to whisper in his ear. “Taehyung.” He
pulls away before Jungkook has the time to process it. “But you didn’t hear it from me.”
 “Taehyung,” Jungkook looks at the ground in front of him. He says the name, mouths it a few
times like he’s tasting it. Taehyung. Taehyung? Taehyung. “Wait but you said there are two.
Two!”

“Mm, I don’t know for sure about the other one, it’s just a guess.” Or maybe a hope.

“Are you going to tell me?”

Yoongi hums. “I don’t think I will.”

“What? Why?” Jungkook asks, or maybe pleas. Yoongi smiles brightly and then stands up.
Jungkook is stunned with this revelation. Taehyung! He almost doesn’t even realize that
Yoongi is turning to go back inside the house, but he can’t let him go! Not now!

“Wait, Yoongi!” But Yoongi is too fast for him. He’s walking through the front door before
Jungkook even so much as stands up. The heavy door closes behind him, leaving Jungkook
standing there with nothing more than Taehyung’s name. Taehyung!

Jungkook follows behind shortly, with the intention of continuing their conversation, but
everyone else is downstairs and Yoongi has already disappeared somewhere. It’s usually very
easy to find Yoongi, you just look for Hoseok and then- yep, there he is. Jungkook doesn’t
have to look at the two of them for very long to really feel like an idiot. Yoongi’s smile is
always so pure whenever he’s close to Hoseok. No one could ever fill in that space, certainly
not Jungkook.

Jungkook’s eyes then search over to find Taehyung. He’s so pretty with his light brown hair,
and his jawline that goes for miles. He looks at his face, he’s always been pretty, that’s just a
fact. Objectively, everyone in the house is pretty. But Taehyung. Taehyung likes him. He told
someone directly, probably Hoseok, that he likes Jungkook.

No one actually notices him enter the living room. Everyone is already having a
conversation, so he’ll either have to impishly insert himself into one or pretend like he
doesn’t want to talk to anyone. His eyes dance across the room looking for someone who he’s
comfortable enough with, but the troubling thing is, Taehyung is one of the people he’s most
comfortable with, but this changes things a bit. It’s going to be a return to awkward, mousey
Jungkook for sure.

Jungkook doesn’t even realize how Jimin is the only person in the room looking at him.

Chapter End Notes

Okay lads, I think it would kind of cute to make a Spotify playlist for this fic, so I need
you all to leave a song or two in the comments (any genre is welcome) that vibes with
the story, or else this isn't going to work. If I get enough songs, I'll link to the playlist on
the next chapter!
I'll start with my pick which is the song 'Feels Like Falling In Love' by The Xcerts
(they're a Brit Rock band).
 Cotton Candy
Chapter Summary

The vminkook chapter you never knew you needed.

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

{{

(The Bachelor: Boys Will Be Boys SK Interview Kim Seokjin #9)

It’s getting kind of… annoying. There’s someone who so clearly likes me, but he hasn’t done
anything. He just stares at me all the time, and I don’t know how I can possibly make it any
clearer that his feelings are reciprocated. He’s kind of an idiot, and I don’t mean that in a
mean way. Well… a little bit in a mean way.

He’s always looking at me, and listen, I can’t blame anyone for that. I would want to look at
me too. But you can’t just look at something you want hoping it will come to you. If you look
at a sports car for three weeks, it’s not going to instantly become yours. You have to steal it. I
feel like, jeez, I left the keys in the car, unlocked, and still, this guy cannot take a hint. If he
were anyone else I’d just assume he’s an idiot, but this guy is practically a genius, so I don’t
know what’s wrong with him.

It’s a big house, so I usually make dinner for everybody, but secretly, I make it for him. He
helps me cook, even though he’s really bad at it. He’s terrible at following directions, which
is both adorable and really, really annoying. When I take him home to cook for him just the
two of us, he’ll still probably mess things up and I think that’s sweet. I

He’s so ridiculous, though. He actually thinks I haven’t noticed the way he looks at me? Or
maybe he has noticed and he’s just scared? Seriously, he isn’t vague. I go into the game room
and he wants to play a game with me. Or I sit down to watch TV and he wants to watch what
I watch. He’s super “casual” about it, but only because he’s never said outright that he’s
trying to be with me. I’d rather have him just be with me.

I like that he wants to be with me; I like feeling wanted and cared for. When he grows a pair
and finally makes a move I will dive in headfirst. If you ask me, he’s the one who should
make the first move. I suppose I could be the one, but I think it’s important for the both of us
that he finds the courage within himself to say something first. With how much he trips over
himself to be near me, it’s only right.

This show is [censored] weird, honestly I have no clue what’s happening. The goal, I thought,
was for us to all compete over Yoongi, but I guess that just didn’t work out since everyone
 here is attracted to men and all of us here are men. I can’t fathom what could be our
motivation to all aim for one guy when there are a ton of other very beautiful, very eligible
men also living in the house. It wasn’t a very well-conceived show premise, unless the goal
was to have absolute chaos.

There’s only one guy who Yoongi could possibly end up with, though there are a few people
on the outskirts who possibly still think they have a chance. There are a few people who
haven’t realized that getting with someone else would be more beneficial to them, because
Yoongi is off the market. He made up his mind on day one, it just took everyone else a week
or two to realize that it happened. No one ever talks about it; we all just know. Or, I assume
everyone knows.

In any case, the rest of my time here will be spent being beautiful and amazing so that this
stupid, perfect boy will pluck up the courage to say something.

Ugh… maybe I will just make the first move. I really, really like him. Idiot.

**Notes from the director: He’s so… beautiful.

}}

“Isn’t this, like, contraband?” Taehyung asks. “Where did you even get it?”

“I bribed a crew member,” Jimin laughs.

“We can get into so much trouble for this,” Taehyung says, but he’s excited beyond reproach,
and he’s elated that Jimin would invite him to this endeavor.

Jimin has changed into a black shirt borrowed from Taehyung. He was just going to use one
of his own black shirts, but Taehyung insisted that his shirt was less important and could be
spared. Jimin was also in favor of going shirtless because he very much does enough working
out that he’s comfortable being seen without a shirt, but this prospect made Taehyung’s eyes
bulge out of his head. So, Jimin has to pretend he doesn’t love the way Taehyung’s shirt
smells.

Jimin had asked the crew member he bribed to get him a pastel pink and she did not let him
down. Seeing as he’s already blonde, it should go in nicely. Once it’s in, he imagines he will
be breaking hearts left and right, but he only wants to snag two of them.

Is he trying to impress Taehyung…? Yes, very much so. Is he trying to impress a certain
someone else who happens to be one of his roommates and looks a little bit like a woodland
creature? Also, very much yes. Is he trying to impress Yoongi? Not so much, but anyone is
allowed to drink him in if they so choose.

“This has to be some sort of continuity issue, but I think it’s going to look awesome,”
Taehyung says. He turns to the pair of gloves he set on the sink and pulls them on while
Jimin pulls the dye out of the box. It’s in a tube, similar to a tube of toothpaste, but the thing
is silver so he can’t see inside. The color on the box is nice, a woman with pastel pink hair
that makes her look a little bit like a fairy. He’s definitely going to look like a fairy when he
has pink hair.

“You have done this before, right?” Jimin asks for probably the fiftieth time. They don’t have
any bleach or anything to cover it up if it goes wrong. Jimin hopes that his cute face will be
able to distract from any catastrophe that happens on his head. He’s never had pink hair
before, so he has no idea how well the dye will work.

“How many times do I have to tell you I have?” Taehyung sighs. “I had bright blue hair for
nearly half of high school. I’ve never done it to someone else’s hair, but I imagine it’s easier
than doing your own. I can’t see the back of my own head.”

Jimin nods. He looks at himself in the mirror. They stole a dining room chair from downstairs
and a whole roll of paper towels. His face shows the excitement he feels inside. Then he
looks up at Taehyung who looks away the instant Jimin makes eye contact. Was he staring?
Was he looking at me? Jimin blushes. He’s only confident when he knows he has the power,
but when Taehyung looks at him like that, Jimin realizes he’s weak to his gaze.

The moment of truth is upon them at last. Taehyung puts his gloves on and Jimin hands him
the tube of dye. It’s going to happen. He’s going to go pink. The man that Yoongi calls
Producer Dad will not be pleased. Jimin feels devilish at the thought.

Taehyung starts with an unceremonious plop of dye at the top of his head. They don’t have a
tint brush, so Taehyung is just going to dive his hands straight in there. The dye is cold on
Jimin’s scalp, but then Taehyung’s hands dig in and he hears a chorus of angels for a second
or two. Well fuck. Is getting your hair dyed by someone else supposed to feel so erotic or is it
because it’s Taehyung? Like, if he went and got it done professionally at a salon, would the
feeling of someone else pulling and massaging into his hair feel this nice? Probably not. It’s
almost definitely because it’s Taehyung. Maybe Taehyung will dye his hair again three
months from now, and a year from now, and ten years from now.

The dye is darker out of the tube than it looks on the box but dye usually is. It’ll wash out to
look more like the model than it does as he watches himself turn pink in the mirror. Taehyung
is very thorough. In only a matter of minutes, Jimin’s whole head is turning pink. There’s
some on his forehead, and plenty on the back of his neck and ears, but it’s nothing out of the
ordinary for a dye job.

He’s only ever done red hair before, and he looked great in that, but at the same time, Jimin
sees in himself even brighter colors than that. He considers himself pink, yellow, orange.
When he was younger, he never would have considered to go so bright, but he’s grown up to
feel less pressured by society. He just wants to be pretty sometimes.

Above him, Taehyung has the dorkiest smile possible. It’s pure glee, and Jimin wants only to
see it for the rest of his life.

“I have a hair dyeing playlist on my phone,” Taehyung notes. He might be talking to himself.
“None of the songs are about hair, I just have a playlist for every occasion. Playlists for
cooking dinner, playlists for road trips, playlists for taking a train.”
“I get that,” Jimin nods. He and Taehyung listen to the same music, they discovered that quite
early on. It’s part of why Jimin is falling for him. That and because everything Taehyung says
is sweet or funny or endearing. Usually all three.

Eventually, Taehyung decides his job is finished. Jimin’s hair looks wet and gelled down,
which makes Taehyung giggle at him. He removes his gloves carefully and throws them into
the trash can, while Jimin turns his head to look at himself in the mirror a few times. There’s
just a little bit of dye left in the tube in case they discover any missed spots after Jimin
washes the dye out.

“And now we wait,” Jimin says. He grabs a fistful of paper towels and carefully blots away
some of the dye left on his skin, but it’s already left a small pink stain.

Taehyung nods, and checks his watch. They’ve got about 45 minutes to talk. Taehyung takes
a seat at the edge of the bathtub and Jimin turns to look at him. Jimin’s hair looks a little
ridiculous right now but Taehyung loves it. He can’t wait until Jimin has cotton candy hair,
though it will do horrible things to his heart. Jimin might very well destroy him.

“So Yoongi and Hoseok, huh?” Jimin says casually. They haven’t discussed it before, but
Taehyung is not surprised that Jimin already knows about them. They’re Yoongi and Hoseok.
Sugar and spice. Salt and pepper.

Taehyung laughs, nodding. “How about that?”

“I don’t know that I would have predicted it,” Jimin says. “They’re so different from each
other. But also very similar.”

“Yeah,” Taehyung nods. “Yoongi is super chill and kind of… I don’t know, very sarcastic.
Not in a bad way, but you know what I mean. He’s the kind of guy who likes sleeping and
sitting down. But then Hoseok is-”

“A firecracker,” Jimin finishes. “He’s so bubbly and bright. All he wants to do is dance or be
on his feet and experience new things.”

“They’re like hot and cold,” Taehyung nods. “But I think they suit each other.”

Jimin nods. He considers himself to be quite similar to Taehyung actually. Though Jimin is
more rational and Taehyung’s head is up in space. But they suit each other, just in a different
way to Hoseok and Yoongi. Not hot and cold, but spring and summer.

A knock on the door startles the both of them. They’re in the bathroom in Jimin’s room and
it’s the middle of the day. Most people are downstairs. So, who is up in Jimin’s room
knocking on the door?

“Who is it?” Jimin asks.

“Um, it’s Jungkook,” the voice responds. “I heard voices. What are you doing in there
Jimin?”

Jimin’s mood, which was already pretty good, gets even better. Jungkook! Yes please!
He stands up from his chair and opens the door. Jungkook is standing, looking confused and
beautiful in an all-black ensemble as per usual. He takes one look at Jimin’s hair and then his
face breaks out into the biggest smile imaginable. It’s an absolute fact that everyone looks
better when smiling, but that has never felt more appropriate than in describing Jungkook.
His smile could be a lighthouse, bringing ships to shore.

“Where did you get the hair dye, Jimin?”

“I smuggled it in,” Jimin says with a wink. Then he gestures for Jungkook to come in and
closes the door behind him. Nothing weird. Just three guys chilling in a bathroom. Without
cameras it’s like having time off from work in the break room.

Jungkook doesn’t make eye contact with Taehyung, which is weird. Come to think of it,
Jungkook hasn’t made eye contact with him since Wednesday, the day after Namjoon’s
“date” with Yoongi. It’s Friday now, so it’s been two days since he’s gotten to look at
Jungkook’s pretty eyes. Then again, this is Jungkook, so you have to expect certain
peculiarities. He gets nervous over the strangest things. He has begun talking to Yoongi
again, which is nice, but Taehyung will have to do some work in order to get Jungkook to fall
in love with him. Shouldn’t be too terribly difficult, after all he is pretty amazing.

He gestures to the spot next to him at the edge of the bathtub while Jimin returns to his seat
on the stolen chair. Jungkook goes to sit beside him but doesn’t look at him. Though none of
them are aware of it, they’re all with their two favorite people.

“What are you two gossiping about?”

“Yoongi and Hoseokie,” Taehyung says brightly.

Jungkook nods. “Oh, how they’re painfully in love?”

“Yeah.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if they elope by the end of next week.”

“Nah, have you met Hoseok? He’ll only get married if he gets to throw a big party and dance
all night. I want to see him convince Yoongi to dance,” Jimin says.

“Aww,” Taehyung doesn’t mean to say it audibly, but it succeeds in making the other two
“aww” on the inside. Hoseok really is the kind to make his wedding the event of the century.
It would embarrass Yoongi, but he’ll do literally anything if Hoseok is the one who asks him
to do it. Yoongi would never ever ever do karaoke. Unless Hoseok invites him to do karaoke.
In which case, Yoongi’s new favorite hobby is karaoke.

“What about Seokjin and Namjoon?” Jimin offers, because that’s another pairing that is tacit
and revered.

“Oh… are they?” Jungkook asks. Both of the others nod. Jungkook’s brain casts memories of
those two together and now that it’s presented to him, he sees it easily. Seokjin trying to
impress Namjoon, and Namjoon hanging on his every word. It’s almost more obvious than
Yoongi and Hoseok. Except for the fact that those two haven’t made any real steps towards
each other. “Jeez, it’s like everyone is falling in love around us.”

“We’ve all got to fall in love with people too,” Jimin says. Now that’s a statement that sits in
the air for a very, very, very long time. Jungkook turns red, and glances quickly at Taehyung.
Taehyung looks nervously at the other two. Jimin sits very proud of himself watching, like a
predator and his prey, the two people who he’s going to make fall in love with him.

Jungkook clears his throat. “So, um, why pink, Jimin?”

“Because pink is the color of flowers and I’m a flower.”

Jungkook’s mouth dries up just a little bit. Why is Jimin like that? Why is he so cute, even
when his hair is gross and slimy like that?

“Have you ever dyed your hair, Jungkook?” Taehyung asks.

Jungkook tries to get some amount of moisture back into his mouth so that he can form
words. It takes a hot second, with both of them looking at him. “N-no.”

Taehyung gets an evil glint in his eye that Jungkook doesn’t notice because he’s not looking
at Taehyung right now and he will also not be looking at him for the foreseeable future. As
soon as he gets his heart to stop beating erratically whenever Taehyung is around he’ll make
eye contact. That could be years though.

“When we get out of this place, I’m going to dye your hair,” Taehyung says. “Red maybe?”

“Purple,” Jimin chimes in. “Dark blue.”

“Do I get a say in this?” Jungkook asks.

“Nah.”

“No.”

“Okay,” he shrugs. He trusts them, they wouldn’t lead him astray. Besides, there’s little doubt
he’d look pretty kickass with colorful hair. “As long as Taehyung is actually talented at
dyeing people’s hair.”

“We’ll find that out in about twenty minutes,” Jimin smiles.

Jimin’s unsure of who he has to come onto first or if it’s a situation where he’d better do it
with them both together. Taehyung will be easy, because he already clearly likes him. Jimin is
Jungkook’s closest friend in the house, so he’ll be able to break through into more than
friendship with just a little bit more charm. Luckily for him, he has infinite charm. Other
people might exhaust their supply, but not Jimin.

“You’re going on a solo date tomorrow, aren’t you Taehyung?” Jungkook asks. They got the
envelope announcing the next date early this morning at breakfast, but Jungkook, as per
usual, slept in.
“I am,” Taehyung nods. “I wonder where we’re going to go. I hope it’s something exciting,
something I wouldn’t ordinarily get to do on my own.”

“I wonder if going on dates with Yoongi makes Hoseok jealous,” Jimin says.

Taehyung shakes his head. “It doesn’t. Or at least, not because he thinks that anyone is going
to attempt to steal Yoongi away from him. He used to be really, really jealous of me and
Yoongi, but I had to explain how ridiculous that was. He’s levelled out now. He’s definitely
confident that Yoongi only likes him. He’s so cute whenever he talks about Yoongi, it’s like
he’s describing his favorite movie star. God, I want what they have.”

Jungkook nods, his eyes widening because, yeah, Yoongi has made that clear. “Yoongi’s even
worse. He talks about Hoseok like he’s writing a poem.”

“Wait, are they confiding with you guys? No one confides with me.” Jimin now feels left out.
He wants all of the hot gossip. Sure, Namjoon talks to him about Seokjin a lot, but he’s never
openly talked about his feelings. It’s always just Namjoon wanting to say how cool or funny
or talented Seokjin is, but every time he tries to tease him for liking him, Namjoon gets really
pale and walks away.

“I’ll confide with you about anything,” Taehyung says.

“Oh really? So who do you like?” Jimin asks.

Jungkook spares a glance his way. He won’t actually say it, will he? He won’t say my name?

“…I’ll confide with you about almost anything.”

Jimin pouts. It’s a world-ending pout. If Taehyung didn’t already adore the very ground Jimin
walks on than he sure as hell would now. Jungkook feels like a third wheel. He thought
Taehyung liked him? Yoongi said so! Taehyung at some point had to utter the words out loud
that he likes him, and yet here he is flirting with Jimin like it’s all he lives for.

When the three of them are together, Jungkook’s shyness inevitably dies hard. When it’s just
the three of them, with no camera, they fall into easy conversation. Jimin’s laugh is fucking
adorable and Jungkook accidentally touches Taehyung’s thigh, and that’s alright. Jungkook
becomes more and more aware of the fact that Taehyung’s feelings are reciprocated, but he
also gets more and more confused by the fact that he is very much flirting with Jimin in
addition.

Maybe Jungkook has always liked Taehyung. Maybe he’s always liked Jimin too. He just
didn’t think to do anything about it, because he assumed he was going home. Now that he
knows he isn’t going home, at least not yet, that means he can actively pursue whatever latent
feelings he’s had for them.

“As much as I know how much you probably want to stay, I am going to need you two to
wait outside while I wash my hair,” Jimin says. It’s an easy shot, because most people would
want to watch Jimin shower. Jungkook’s expression says everything his mouth could never
say. Taehyung just laughs, doesn’t deny anything. Jungkook doesn’t realize he’s still standing
in the bathroom staring at Jimin until he gives him a look that says he’s either undressing
Jungkook in his mind or he is about to eat him.

“Jungkookie,” Taehyung says and then tugs on his arm to pull him out. Jimin laughs and
closes the door behind them. Jungkook takes a few seconds to recover before he walks over
to his bed, which is a bottom bunk, and takes a seat. Taehyung sits next to him. Way too
close. Okay, yeah, so maybe Taehyung is just an outrageous flirt because there’s no hidden
meaning to the way that he’s looking at him right now.

It dawns on him that Yoongi was right. There are two people who have a crush on him. In the
last twenty minutes, he has many able to figure out who both of those people are. They lay it
on pretty thick, he should probably have picked up on the signs earlier if he wasn’t such an
awkward sonofabitch.

They express themselves in two drastically different ways, though. Taehyung is the kind of
guy whose fundamental goal in a relationship is to cuddle. That’s not to say that Jimin’s
brand is any less special, but he’s definitely not so innocent. Jimin’s eyes look deeper than
Taehyung’s do, and that’s partially because Taehyung is so empathetic that he picks up on
things you don’t even know you’re dropping. Jimin doesn’t just undress you with his eyes,
he’s gauging out his name in your bones so that you’ll never forget him.

“Jimin is so pretty, isn’t he?” Taehyung says wistfully. The shower starts up a moment later
and Jungkook swallows shallowly.

“Yeah,” he nods. Taehyung has a cute, deep laugh in the back of his throat that gives him
goosebumps. He rests his head on Jungkook’s shoulder without hesitating. Obviously,
Taehyung is just a transparently affectionate person; there’s no reason for him to think
anything of it. Well, except for the fact that Taehyung likes him.

Jimin is also very affectionate. Jungkook thinks rather painfully of how much sense the two
of them would make together. Jimin likes to drape himself on people and Taehyung likes to
be draped over. Jungkook wants that too. He’s not as vocal about it, but he wants nothing
more than for someone to hug him like a lifejacket.

Taehyung giggles at him teasingly, “do you like him, Jungkookie?”

“What?” he asks, surprised.

Taehyung keeps giggling, “you like Jimin don’t you?”

“I…” Okay, Jungkook doesn’t know what’s going on anymore.

“It’s okay, I like him too,” Taehyung says, lifting his head from Jungkook’s shoulder.
Jungkook needs to take a few steps back from life to figure out what the hell is happening
right now. Is this what they classify as a love triangle? If it isn’t, then what the hell else is it?

“But I thought…”
“Thought what Jungkookie?” He blinks back at him with pretty brown eyes. Have they
always been that pretty? Two weeks ago, he couldn’t get over how pretty Yoongi’s eyes were.
Yoongi is still drop dead gorgeous to him, but Taehyung is here and he’s either just as
beautiful or more. His light brown hair makes him look warm, almost the exact opposite
effect of Yoongi’s white hair. Taehyung’s got a warmer skin tone that fits his brown hair,
while Yoongi’s platinum blonde makes him look fresh and exciting.

“Never mind,” he says.

Taehyung reads his mind. Before Jungkook knows that it’s happening, Taehyung kisses his
cheek. Then his eyes widen excitedly as he covers his mouth like he’s shocked he just did
that. Jungkook is probably always going to look like a surprised chipmunk around him. His
hand goes to touch his cheek where Taehyung’s lips just were. He expects his skin to feel
different, like it’s burning up. It feels the exact same way, but his chest certainly constricts in
a new way than it ever has before.

“Tae?” he asks. He pulls his hands away from his face. Maybe for the first time since he met
him, Taehyung looks shy. He’s not a person who puts forward anything besides his sweet
smile and positive energy. He doesn’t get embarrassed, or at least, if he does, it’s nothing
compared to Jungkook. He seems to be more at peace with his own feelings and emotions
than Jungkook can ever hope to be. Taehyung is comfortable in his own skin, with its flaws
and strengths, whereas Jungkook only pretends to be. Last week, Taehyung introduced him to
his pimple and called it his new friend, whereas Jungkook will deny to the ends of the earth
that he has ever had a pimple ever.

“Jungkook,” he responds. They blink at one another. The shower is still running. Then
Jungkook leans forward. His lips brush Taehyung’s for barely even a second before he pulls
away. He can’t even believe he just did that. Neither can Taehyung. It’s not quite fear on
either of their faces. It’s not shock or pain. They just look at each other feeling differently
than before. Jungkook’s lip is staticky like a TV with no signal, and he can’t help but to look
at Taehyung’s mouth. Their eyes meet and they stare blankly at each other. Jungkook can see
his own heartbeat because it’s banging so loudly against his chest.

Taehyung experiments with kissing him this time. Again, their lips barely touch before it’s
over. It’s almost like a first kiss in middle school. They’re connected for so briefly that it’s
just a whisper. Jungkook’s insides are warmer now than they usually are. His hands are
ungodly sweaty. He almost wants to wipe off his hands on his jeans but that wouldn’t be very
sexy.

The next time their lips touch, it’s Jungkook who initiates it, and they stay connected for a
little while longer. Neither of them knows where this new-found confidence is coming from,
but Taehyung puts his hands on the back of Jungkook’s neck and pulls him in closer. His
hands end up on Taehyung’s waist and then they’re actually making out. Not something that
Jungkook does on the regular, and Taehyung isn’t about to admit that he’s never done it at all.

It’s very hot in this mansion. Do they have a functioning air conditioner? He hears the house
breathing, so it’s definitely running, but Jungkook has never felt hotter. He’s also fairly sure
that he can feel the earth stop beneath his feet. It’s not like he normally feels the planet
rotating in outer space, but he knows for a fact that they are not currently rotating.
It goes on for… a while. But they don’t kiss like fire or anything glamorous like that. It’s
very soft, and Taehyung barely opens his mouth. He seems new to it, but Jungkook isn’t
going to bring that up. Besides, he doesn’t really want more from him than this. At least, not
at this given moment.

The shower stops.

They both pull away at the same moment. Then they look at their own feet. Somehow, he’s
gotten even more shy. You’d think that after kissing Taehyung for like five minutes he’d feel
less shy, but nope. That is not the case. The room is deadly quiet. Without the shower
running, the silence feels like a vacuum. The earth resumes its spinning.

The tension is broken when Taehyung giggles and puts his hands on the sides of his cheeks.
Jungkook looks at him and the sweet look on his pretty face makes it impossible not to return
his smile. He looks like a rainbow. His face is red, embarrassed. Jungkook bumps him with
his shoulder and then they’re both laughing. Jungkook feels… really good right now. He feels
like he could jump over the moon if he gave it a try.

It doesn’t make sense to try to talk about it right now. Neither of them feels the need to.
They’ll get around to that eventually. The two of them just wait. They wait for Jimin to come
out with his cotton candy hair.

First kisses always make you feel a little giddy, even when it’s not a good kiss. Taehyung is
by no means a good kisser, but Jungkook doesn’t mind that so much. Everything takes time,
and he’ll be happy to help him practice.

Jimin pops out of the bathroom a few minutes later. He’s got the same clothes as before, but
his Taehyung-borrowed shirt looks like he put it on way too soon after taking a shower, and
that might have been intentional, but Jungkook refuses to look. It’s not terribly difficult to
look someplace else when Jimin comes out looking like that.

“Oh my god, Jimin,” Taehyung whispers.

“Right?” he gives them a little twirl. His hair is wet, and there’s dye left over on his neck
which will wash out in an hour if he scrubs hard enough or will go away naturally if he just
waits a few days.

Jimin looks drop dead gorgeous. Not to say that he doesn’t usually, but this is different. He’s
the kind of pretty that you don’t know for sure if you want to wrap him up in a little blanket
burrito or rip all of his clothes off and get under the blanket with him. You could both water
him in a little vase and do him against a wall.

Jungkook doesn’t know what to say, what to do. A few moments ago, he was wholly and
completely making out with Taehyung, but now he’s looking at Jimin and he’s never seen
anyone so pretty. But then he looks back at the boy who he just kissed, and he supposes that
he has seen someone that pretty.

“I did a good job,” Taehyung walks over to him and checks out his handiwork. He doesn’t
see any spots that he missed. When he does his own hair, there’s usually an entire section that
got skipped, but not Jimin’s hair. He looks perfect. He looks ready to be the main character in
an anime.

“You did an excellent job,” Jimin says and puts his hand on Taehyung’s shoulder and that
gives Jungkook a spark of jealousy. He stands up absentmindedly as he watches the two of
them. Yeah… the dynamic here is weird. Taehyung likes Jimin? But he also just kissed him?
But Jungkook also likes Jimin? And Jimin definitely likes Taehyung? And also, probably
him? Oh boy, this is going to take a hot minute and a pencil to work out.

Sometimes Jungkook overshares his life story over voice chat when he plays video games,
because the people he plays with are strangers and won’t attempt to therapize him. They find
him annoying, but he’s very good at video games so he’s usually forgiven. He feels like he’d
have a whole lecture to talk about if he had access to a computer right about now. Am I
attracted to two men at once? I’ve never been in this situation before? What is happening to
me?

It’s not abject but he never would have thought of himself as being anything other than
monogamous before. He’s never considered it, but he’s got some introspection to get done.

“Jungkook what do you think?” Jimin asks. He grapples with words. What does he say? If
Taehyung is out here being blatant with his own attraction towards Jimin that means he’s
allowed to be too, right?

“It’s a really pretty color on you, Jimin,” he says. It’s hard to expect anything short of a hug
from Jimin. He sees the hug coming and holds Jimin strongly once his arms wrap around
him. Hugging Jimin is very similar to falling asleep. It’s inevitable, it will happen. All you
can do is prepare for it and enjoy it. It certainly helps that Jimin uses nice shampoo and he’s
very warm.

“Really?” he asks, squeezing Jungkook tighter than usual.

“Of course, Jimin,” he says. “But you already know that.”

Jimin pulls away and nods. “I do. But I like to hear it anyway.”

As conversation bubbles up between them again, Jungkook wonders if Jimin can tell what
just happened. He wonders what he’d think if he did know. Obviously, there’s the air of
something having happened, but no one in the entire world would ever guess that shy little
Jungkook just kissed someone, or that he was the one who initiated it. Jimin is certainly not
going to be the one to divine that.

Jungkook’s eyes linger on Taehyung’s lips. He wonders why they haven’t been kissing this
whole time. He imagines what their hands would look like together. He’s pretty sure
Taehyung’s head is exactly the right shape to fit against his neck.

Only two days ago, Yoongi was telling him that Taehyung likes him, and now Jungkook has
kissed him. He thinks for a moment and wonders if he’s the first person to kiss anyone else in
the whole house. Certainly, Hoseok would bounce a little differently when he walks if he had
kissed Yoongi. There’s no way Namjoon and Seokjin have even acknowledged their feelings
 for one another; even though Jungkook only just found out about them, he has no doubt about
that. Namjoon is one of the more private people in the mansion, but there’s no denying the
joy you have when you kiss someone you like.

To think, no one would have expected it to be Jungkook. No one would think that the guy
who couldn’t even look at Yoongi on day one would also be the first person to kiss someone
in the house. He smiles to himself with the knowledge that he’s subverting expectations. He
almost wishes that he had kissed Taehyung on camera so that he might stun the whole world
instead of just himself.

Jimin certainly notices that he’s in the middle of something. But that’s alright. He likes being
in the middle.

Chapter End Notes

As promised, I have created a Spotify playlist for this fic which you can find here! Most
songs included were recommended by you guys, and then a few pop punk songs added
by me because you can take the girl out of the emo, but you can't take the emo out of the
girl.

Your comment prompt (aside from checking out the playlist), is to tell me your favorite
hairstyle on any of our Boys. Hard to hide the fact that I'm very fond of Yoongi's
platinum white hair...
 This is the chapter you've been waiting for.
Chapter Summary

What it says on the tin.

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

{{

(The Bachelor: Boys Will Be Boys SK Interview Min Yoongi #30)

[Unbelievably censored] because [Unbelievably censored] and [Unbelievably censored].

That’s how I’m doing right now, you know what I mean?

**Notes from the director: I don’t know what to do with this.

}}

It wouldn’t be fair to say that Producer Dad is bad at his job. It just isn’t true. He might be a
pain in the ass, but he does at least know what he’s doing. He also, despite his faults,
managed to set up the perfect date for Yoongi on his first solo date with Hoseok since day
two. Thankful he might be, but he will never vocalize it.

It’s about two o’clock in the afternoon and the two of them are in the fanciest kitchen that
Yoongi has ever seen in his entire life. A woman who has to be old enough to remember the
titanic sinking is teaching them how to make kimchi and Hoseok has either adopted her or
she has adopted him. No matter what, Yoongi’s head kaleidoscopes into red hearts and pink
skies. Hoseok hangs on her every word and Yoongi hangs onto every facial expression he
makes.

The way to a man’s heart, or at least the way to Hoseok’s, is kimchi. He picks up the process
easily and Yoongi is too distracted to notice he isn’t doing anything until his new grandma
grabs his hands and guides him in what to do. It’s not his fault that Hoseok’s face is so
distracting. If she wants him to pay attention to what he’s doing, she’s going to have to take
Hoseok away, but that would not endear him to her.

“What are we going to do when we’re not on the show anymore, Seok?” Yoongi asks, fist
deep into cold cabbage.

“Mmm,” Hoseok thinks. “Probably get some fried chicken.”

Yoongi shakes his head but knows full well he’ll be the first person in the car to get said fried
chicken. “I mean in life when we’re not living in a big mansion. What are either of us going
to do? I don’t have a job. I suppose I did before, I was just a glorified paper boy and they
might give me my job back when we get out, but maybe not.”

“I never even told my boss I quit,” Hoseok says. “I just came on the show. The only way they
will have found out what happened to me is if they watch the show and see me. That would
be a real shock, wouldn’t it? I used to sell ink cartridges but maybe they’re flipping through
channels and then see me throwing myself at a guy who’s too pretty for me.”

Yoongi makes a face that only Yoongi can make. Judgmental but goofy. “You’re the pretty
one, dumbass.”

“Let’s not start,” Hoseok says. “I know I’m right, but you’ll never see sense. We can just
agree to disagree.”

Yoongi doesn’t like it. An idiot would know that Hoseok is the pretty one. He probably just
thinks that Yoongi is prettier because he’s the one in makeup, but when you take it off, he
looks like the creature from the black lagoon. Well, Hoseok sees him without makeup all the
time and he hasn’t run away screaming yet so that’s a good sign.

“If we’re not returning to jobs that will mean that neither of us will have an income.”

Hoseok shrugs. “You’re going to be a famous rapper when we get out, need I remind you.”

Yoongi has a small smile, “but what if I’m not? What if I’m no one? What if we’re both
nobodies because the show was a failure? Maybe we go back into the real world after this and
we’re worse off than we were before.”

Hoseok smiles and shrugs again. “Then we go out there and we’re worse off than before.
That’s just how it is. We’ll find jobs that neither of us want, but we’ll need some sort of
income.” Yoongi doesn’t correct him when he says income like it it’s one thing. Their
income. Not incomes. “We’ll keep trying towards our goals like we always have. Maybe it’s
from the ground floor, but that’s okay, because that’s where we both started. I’m going to
keep dancing, and you’re going to write music, and someday, even if it’s thirty years from
now, we’ll be recognized.”

“You’re so positive,” Yoongi says, shining. “Even if the odds are against you. I think that’s
amazing.”

“There’s no use in being pessimistic, Yoongi,” Hoseok tells him. “When you don’t believe
good things will happen to you, then they won’t. You won’t be surprised that your dreams
don’t come true, and that’s not the point.”

“Say more words,” Yoongi says wistfully. Ordinarily, that’s the kind of thought he wouldn’t
voice out loud, but he’s not afraid to say stupid things in front of Hoseok. There’s a certain
degree of respect you have to have for someone to let your inhibitions fall. It’s easier to be
physically naked than it is to be emotionally transparent.
He chuckles. “There’s no way you, a rapper, or me, a dancer, have dreams that we’re capable
of suffocating, you know? Those aren’t career paths for people who don’t dream. I don’t want
to work at a fast food restaurant, or a clothing store, or as a desk clerk for the rest of my life,
but I’ll do it for as long as I can to pursue all the real things I want.”

“Imagine the two of us,” Yoongi smiles, “as fisherman. Or as janitors.”

“I’ll still support you,” he smiles teasingly.

Yoongi gulps. Does he really mean that? If they’re both making tiny incomes and they can
never move out of a studio apartment where their neighbors play loud music into the night, so
they combat the sound by having sex really loudly. Or maybe they move to the countryside to
find work where it’s always too quiet and they can walk alone down the beach getting sand in
their feet that never goes away. Or maybe one of their careers takes off and they can’t be
home as much, and they miss one another so bad it stings, but they have late nights falling
asleep to each other’s voices over the phone.

He looks at the kitchen counter below him. In the future, maybe there will be nights where
they cook dinner like this together. Probably won’t be as good since they won’t have the
guidance of their new grandma, a certified expert, to help them. But it’ll be nice because it
was cheap and homemade. He’s had so many fantasies of himself and Hoseok alone in a
kitchen together, but those were all dirty. Now he’s here in front of a camera crew and a little
old lady and he can’t believe how none of the fantasies were as wonderful as reality.

“You’re awfully cute, Jung Hoseok,” he says, and Hoseok bumps him with his hip.

Several hours later, they are far too full of far too much kimchi. Contrary to almost every
other food, kimchi is not as good fresh, but they have a few jars of the stuff which they’ll take
back to the mansion and will be good in a few days. Then he and Hoseok are going to cook
together but only if it’s just the two of them. Yoongi will stay up until three in the morning, or
maybe wake up at three in the morning, in order to cook a meal with just Hoseok. Their
adoptive grandmother was proud of their kimchi and she will attend any future “significant
events” like “a wedding maybe?” They both blushed, bowed, and thanked her profusely
without confirming or denying anything of the sort.

Now, the two of them sway lightly together in a hammock that was set up for them outside
the restaurant in a little park. This is the one and only chance that the cameras will ever get to
capture Yoongi in close physical contact with another contestant, so they went a little
overboard with the hammock and the candles, but it’s nice. Yoongi lies in Hoseok’s arms,
letting him play with his hair, wishing he would do it more often. Yoongi is very touchy with
his hair, it’s more than a bit of a turn on for someone to pull on it, but Hoseok is gentle. It’s
crinkly and gross like it always is when they put too much product in it, but Hoseok plays
with it enough that most of the product gets pulled out by his hands and then wiped on the
back of Yoongi’s shirt. He doesn’t mind that much.

It’s hard not to feel the inevitability of cameras. They’re catching this scene from different
angles, different zooms. It’s annoying, but he’s letting Hoseok’s presence drown them out. He
doesn’t need to think about anything besides the world that he and Hoseok create.
“Which planet would you travel to if you could?” It’s one of a series of random questions
they’ve been thumbing through. They’ve been cuddling like this for an hour or so, they’ve
barely even adjusted positions. For a little while they sat next to each other instead of Yoongi
fully being cradled in his arms, but that wasn’t nearly as fun. He wants to feel embarrassment
for being watched like this by millions of eyes, but when he’s got Hoseok pressed against his
back, he couldn’t care less.

Yoongi is worried about their date ‘ending.’ It’s always around this time that Producer Dad
declares they’ve shot enough footage and they can go home. Sometimes it’s a relief because
Yoongi just wants to go to bed or because the date has been uncomfortable for whatever
reason. Though he hasn’t seen a clock in some time, Yoongi knows that the day has swept by
him rapidly. He’s not sure how long they’ve been out, what time it is now, or when he’ll be
forced to rip himself away from Hoseok.

“Mercury,” Hoseok says after deliberating.

“Why Mercury?”

“Because it wouldn’t make me feel too small. I see skyscrapers and I feel like an ant or I feel
inconsequential and that’s a feeling that festers. You’d never feel like a little guy on a planet
like Mercury. Partially because there are no skyscrapers on Mercury… I think, but also
because it’s one of the littlest planets.”

“What about Pluto?”

“I don’t believe in Pluto.”

“Like physically or emotionally?”

“Emotionally. I trust scientists who say Pluto isn’t a planet. They wouldn’t have rescinded
Pluto’s planetary status if they didn’t have a reason,” Hoseok says.

“Wow, you’re harsh.”

“Hey, it is what it is,” Hoseok says. “If Pluto wants to be a planet, it has to pull its own
weight. Anyway, what planet are you going to travel to?”

“Jupiter,” he says firmly. “I just think it would be cool.”

“They have big hurricanes there, don’t they?”

Yoongi shrugs, “maybe it would be exciting.”

“As long as you don’t get yourself killed, I guess I’m alright with that.”

“You going to come with me, right?” he laughs. “Make a little vacation out of it?”

“We’ll see,” Hoseok says. “I’m not sure if I have the right clothes for such an expedition. I
don’t want to ruin my expensive shoes.”
Yoongi rolls his eyes and then takes Hoseok’s hand wrapped around him and evaluates it. His
hand is soft under this lighting, but Yoongi knows what these hands can look like. He likes
the look of his veins and his long fingers. Hoseok lets him play with his fingers, testing out
the way their hands look together. Yoongi hooks his pink with Hoseok’s and absently feels
him kiss the top of his head. His heart stops. How does a kiss on his head affect him so
much?

“You’re dumb,” Yoongi says breathily.

“Thank you,” he says, and pulls him in closer, which is difficult because they’re already
pressed against each other. He’s thought it a thousand times, but he’ll think it a million times
more: Hoseok smells amazing. He just does. You don’t get used to it; you just miss it.

“Did you know that Jungkook kissed Jimin?” Hoseok whispers in his ear. The sensation of it
makes arm hairs stand up.

“He’s really making his rounds, huh?” Yoongi laughs. First Taehyung, and now Jimin.
Jungkook really took Yoongi’s advice by the horns. It’s good though, he doesn’t have to
worry about those three as much as he used to. How long is it going to take before they
surpass Yoongi and Hoseok? Soon, Producer Dad will decide their story is more interesting
and it will become their show. Or at least, that’s what Yoongi wishes would happen.

“I think they’re all just getting less stupid around each other,” Hoseok shrugs.

“And then there’s clueless Namjoon who only gets more and more stupid. Poor, sweet, kinda
dumb Namjoon.”

“Oh, he’ll get there,” Hoseok shrugs. “Someday. Possibly in the distant future.”

Yoongi just sighs. He’s literally done everything he can for Namjoon at this point, but the boy
is either too dumb or too scared to make a move. It shouldn’t be difficult. All he has to do is
say “hey Seokjin, I like you” and then Seokjin will probably respond with hearts popping out
of his eyes, but Namjoon is just a big baby when it comes to expressing his feelings for
someone. How does he find anyone to date ever? It couldn’t be easier for him to just confess,
and there’s almost no way that Seokjin doesn’t reciprocate. He’s the kind of guy who’d you’d
get married to and then in ten years he’ll say, “you’re sure you like me, right?”

“Boys!” Producer Dad’s voice comes from either the heavens or behind a filming light that is
too blinding to look directly at. “This isn’t really a topic of conversation for a date.”

Yoongi flips him off and Hoseok pulls his hand away, chiding him softly. Don’t make the
date end, don’t make the date end, don’t make the date end. He strokes Yoongi hair for a
moment before asking, “Can you remind me what your favorite type of dirt was?”

“Oh right! I like potting soil,” Yoongi says, suppressing a laugh. They talked about dirt on
their very first date to piss Producer Dad off, aww. Even back then, they knew exactly how to
bounce off of one another.
“Potting soil is good, very squishy,” Hoseok nods. “If you fall down and there’s potting soil,
you’ll get your clothes dirty but at least you won’t break a bone, right?”

“Oh, stop pretending like getting dirt on your clothes isn’t your worst nightmare. You’re
more scared of mustard stains than you are of death.”

“My clothes are cute and I’m poor, don’t make fun of me for not wanting to look gross.”
Hoseok had a bit of a panic earlier when he got food on his shirt, but it barely even left a wet
patch let alone a stain. Hoseok is ridiculous like that, he’s constantly getting food on his face
and around his mouth, but he doesn’t care. If he thinks he might damage his clothes though,
he’s likely to start crying.

“You could never look gross, you fucker,” Yoongi tells him. He rolls himself over so that he
can look at him. It’s very difficult to look directly at him. Looking directly at the sun is very
bad for your eyesight and Yoongi’s prescription already makes him feel like an old man.

His back is towards the camera, but he doesn’t care. Even if they are so many weeks in to the
show, Yoongi is not, nor will he ever be, a showbiz type. He doesn’t care about camera
angles, about playing up for the camera, he doesn’t care about any of it. All that matters to
him right now is that he comes across as genuine, even if he’s softer on this inside than he
wants anyone to actually know. He still wants to be snarky and sarcastic, but it’s important to
him that no one watching this show thinks his relationship with Hoseok is fake. Yoongi’s
brain is a stew of contradicting thoughts and ideas. He hates that his relationship is on screen
at all, but if it’s going to be, he wants people to know he means it. It would break his heart if
someone thought he was acting with Hoseok. He’s not nearly talented enough to fake his
feelings like that.

This show has had very unexpected effects on Yoongi. Instead of standing still, or pausing his
life, this show has made him grow up quite a lot. In one month, he’s aged three years. Before,
all he wanted was to suffer along, show off a “bad boy” image to the camera and all around
take nothing seriously. That reputation wasn’t even exclusive to this show, for some reason,
Agust D had it in his mind that to be a rapper he had to fit a mold. It was more important for
people to think he was cool as a liar than for them to tolerate him as himself. That has al
melted away so quickly that it’s funny to think that he once thought it possible. Hoseok is too
mind-numbingly sweet not to dampen any sourness.

The idea of going back to a dead-end job terrifies him, but he supposes… if he comes home
to Hoseok every day, well that wouldn’t be so bad. They’ll need money for necessities. He
also wants to take Hoseok on trips all over the world, and to Jupiter of course.

In the back of his head, Yoongi knows that they’re taking the show to another country in the
last week of filming for “overnight dates”, but he can’t recall where they’re going.
Somewhere in Europe, he thinks. That’ll be exciting, if a bit awkward. He’d like to spend a
week alone with Hoseok in Spain or Italy. It won’t be very private with two other contestants
and a whole slew of crew members coming along with them. But still, he’ll get to be alone
with Hoseok and they’ll find some foreign street to hold hands down.

It’s hard to believe that they’re on week five. He met Hoseok only a month ago – four weeks!
They’re over halfway through this goddamn show! The house feels lonelier and lonelier, only
ten people left, including Yoongi. While the house itself gets lonelier, Yoongi doesn’t feel
lonelier at all. He’s making eternal friends, and also… Hoseok. They’re slowly coming to the
point where Yoongi can have Hoseok all to himself and never have to look at another camera
again. Or, well, not another camera invading his love life at least. He’s ready to film a
thousand music videos and do a thousand interviews to promote his album, but once the show
is over, the only camera he and Hoseok will be in front of are each other’s phones.

“If you could paint your house any color, what would it be?” Hoseok catches him in his
reverie.

“I’d have to have a house first,” Yoongi says.

“Okay, suppose you have a house. Two bedrooms, laundry room, nice kitchen, en suite
bathroom, home studio. Just basic necessities.”

“Stop talking or I’m going to get horny,” Yoongi says. Oh, to live in a world where he can
afford a house. He’ll have a grand piano instead of a keyboard. Holy shit, maybe he’ll even
have a dining room table.

Hoseok huffs and puts his hand on Yoongi’s chest, making eye contact that Yoongi meets.
“So, you’ve got the house. What color are you painting the outside so that all your neighbors
know it’s your house?”

Yoongi purses his lips while he thinks, and Hoseok’s eyes stray to look at them. “Can it be a
magic house?”

“In what way is it a magic house?”

“I want the house to match whatever hair color I have at the time.”

Hoseok beams at him. “Then you can absolutely have a magic house.”

“What color would your house be, Seok?”

“My house would match your hair color,” Hoseok says like it’s obvious. “Didn’t I mention
that your house also has a me in it?”

“Ah yes, basic necessities,” Yoongi nods.

The hammock has stopped swaying. It’s still as they look at each other. The world sounds
beautiful right now. The sounds of cars are distant but calming. The wind is gentle but
whispers in the air. Bugs make little sounds. If he could bottle this moment right here, he
would do it. He’d keep the way that Hoseok is looking at him in his heart until he dies. He
likes that he can’t tell he’s being watched when he’s turned away from the crew. He likes that
his legs are tangled with Hoseok’s. He loves how Hoseok’s brown hair seems too soft and too
rich in this light. He thinks he could fall in love with a moment. He could fall headfirst into
the feeling in his stomach and the jitters in his fingers.

Hoseok’s hand moves up to rest on Yoongi’s chin, his thumb practically touching his lips.
Yoongi looks young and innocent staring back at him, while Hoseok is nothing less than
sinful. There are mountains behind Hoseok’s eyes. He’s got a forest and an ocean. It’s kind of
unfair to say that his eyes are unearthly, because nothing otherworldly could be so pretty as
his eyes. There’s a natural, earthy beauty to him. His eyes are black coffee, and that’s the only
kind of coffee that Yoongi drinks.

One month with Hoseok seems like only seconds. He wants to know him for so much longer.
He wants to replace the pattern of his veins with memories and stories of Hoseok. It’s funny
how easy it is to fall in love with someone when that’s the only thing in the world that’s on
your mind. It wouldn’t be easy if Yoongi had been cast on a different show. Hoseok makes it
simple. The thought of him not being here, or the thought of Yoongi thinking he likes
Jungkook or Namjoon instead of Hoseok is horrifying.

“I like that you make me laugh from my gut whenever you want,” Yoongi says, “but then we
have calm moments like this where all we do is exist with each other.”

“I’ll always rile you up when you need me to,” he says, “Or maybe if you don’t need me to.
Maybe it’ll be annoying, I don’t know. But I’ll always like being able to slow down and be
with you like this.”

“Mhm, if we go to Jupiter, it’ll just be the two of us and no one else.” They don’t stop
looking at each other. Not even Yoongi, king of avoiding eye contact, is able to pull himself
out of the moment.

“Except the aliens.”

“Right, just us and the aliens,” Yoongi says.

“Min Yoongi you better take me to Jupiter on our next date.”

“It’s a deal.”

Maybe because it’s too hard to breathe, Hoseok’s eyes flicker towards the sky for just a
moment. “Remind me what that star is?” He points at something directly above them. Yoongi
can barely see a star, but he makes one out and then looks back at Hoseok, where the lonely
star is reflected back at him.

“That’s a butterfly,” Yoongi says. “She was a butterfly who wanted to see what other worlds
were like, so she flew up and up. But she got lost on the way. That’s her, she’s still looking
for other worlds. She can see so much more now, cause she’s bright and big, like a little
headlight up in the sky. I think the other stars are her new friends, and that’s why she stays
still to always be with them.”

“You’re so fucking special,” Hoseok’s words tumble out of him with desperation. Strange
thing is, Yoongi doesn’t blush. He just lets the words warm him up.

It feels like hours pass as they stare at each other, but logically, it can’t be, because Producer
Dad would have pulled them apart by now if so. Even if it’s only a few minutes, it’ll be a
memory that Yoongi takes to his death. Hoseok’s nose is shiny and he’s got bags under his
eyes. No one else has ever looked that pretty. If anyone else got to see him this close, it
wouldn’t just be the end of civilizations, it could shatter whole star systems. The butterfly
would be the only one to escape.

“I would very much like to kiss you,” Hoseok says finally. He’s inches from Yoongi’s mouth,
he can feel his breath. Hoseok suffered down a mint after all that kimchi and Yoongi is only
now realizing how bad his breath might smell.

“I…” he wants to say that he wants to as well, because obviously he wants to kiss him too.
Who wouldn’t? He’s Hoseok. Unfortunately, hearing the words out loud is very sobering of
where they are. Falling for someone and kissing them on TV are two different things. One of
them will deeply anger his grandma, but one will give her an aneurism.

“I didn’t say I would,” he says. “I remember what you said on day one.”

He looks confused. “I said that I wouldn’t kiss anyone on this show because it wouldn’t be
fair to kiss someone that I’m not invested in. But I said that thinking wholly that there was no
way I was actually going to pick any of these contestants,” Yoongi says, summarizing what
he said so many weeks ago. “You’re an idiot if you think that’s why I’m hesitant.”

“Yeah, the cameras are… they’re a lot.”

Yoongi makes a very expressive face. A big fat duh. Who wants to kiss someone on national
television? A lunatic?

Hoseok nods, and just rests his head on Yoongi’s shoulder. Reality hits like an oncoming
train. For the smallest minute, it’s easy to think that they’re normal people who like each
other. Normal people on a hammock falling in love. No one has ever had to suffer through
something as ridiculous as this just to be with the person they like. No other reality show
couple before them has been anything. It’s impossible. Yoongi knows for a fact that he and
Hoseok are special. They’re playing dress up in all these different scenes, but he just wants to
take everything away and be simple, boring fools falling too fast. Other reality couples would
faint under the grip of how he and Hoseok feel for each other.

“Just as long as I know you’re not going around kissing anyone else.” His voice is gloomy,
even though he’s trying to make it sound neutral. He did, after all, just confess to wanting to
kiss Yoongi. Of course he’s going to be sad that Yoongi doesn’t want the same.

Yoongi sighs, rolls his eyes, and lifts Hoseok’s head from off of his shoulder. He looks at
Hoseok for several seconds before he squeezes his face in his hands, squishing his cheeks
together, which makes Yoongi snort at him. He laughs at Hoseok again when he decides to
play into it, pursing his lips like a fish, weird Hoseok sound effects included. He’s so
painfully, unabashedly Hoseok. In other words: perfect.

“You’re ridiculous. You’re stupid,” Yoongi tells him. Hoseok just keeps making faces,
unrelenting. Moments ago, fleeting desperation of want and more were too heavy, but now,
all he cares about is making Yoongi laugh. Hoseok’s goal is always to make Yoongi feel
comfortable, whether it’s by making him laugh, or being soft, or any other Hoseok-specific
gift.
There’s something about him. He can make Yoongi laugh hysterically just by making funny
faces. It all feels so simple when he’s with Hoseok. He doesn’t have to play games or guess
around him. There’s no pressure when it’s the two of them. He’s fresh sheets and cloudless
days.

He’s never going to understand how Hoseok is able to naturally be the way he is. He doesn’t
even need to try; it just comes out of him. He can cheer you up at any time, even when he’s
sad himself. There is so much positivity radiating off of this man that it’s inevitable for him
to be adored. Everyone is supposed to love this man, surely that’s why earth was created.

Usually, Yoongi doesn’t warm up quickly to people. He has friends back home, but they’re
almost all friends he had back in school when he was trapped in the same room as them for
most of his waking hours; they’re people he had to fall in with to survive. He wouldn’t say
he’s closed off to new people, but new people don’t get to cut him open the way that Hoseok
does. No one in the mansion has managed that besides Hoseok. They don’t get to see his
vulnerabilities and his dumb moments. Hoseok gets to have all of them, because Yoongi is
carefree when he’s around. He sheds off his embarrassment, which has never happened
before.

Yoongi grabs his face again, but this time just to keep him still. Hoseok doesn’t even seem to
realize what’s happening until Yoongi’s lips touch his. The instant that their lips touch,
Hoseok melts. He makes a soft sound, threads his hands through Yoongi’s hair and forgets
every thought he’s ever had. Yoongi puts his hands on either side of his face so that the
camera can’t see their lips touch. He needs it just to be the two of them. Nothing is allowed to
interrupt this.

Kissing, as a concept, is weird. It’s wet and awkward, but somehow, it’s very nice. There’s no
good reason for why it feels nice, but it does. Yoongi bites Hoseok’s lip, tastes him. Kissing
him isn’t like kissing anyone else. It’s never felt this way before, because he’s never really
felt an overwhelming amount of emotion towards anyone. The few people he’s dated over the
years felt as though they were there simply so that he wasn’t single. Dating someone has
never been about feeling emotionally attached to them.

Hoseok is different. He plays Yoongi’s heart like a drum. He’s enchanting in a way no one
else before him ever has been. It’s in his every bone. Hoseok has more charm in one toe than
every man in that mansion has combined, and a lot of those guys are seriously charming.

Kissing him now, nothing has ever never felt so urgent to him. His first kiss ever was just so
that he could say he had his first kiss. All the others after that have been a formality; knowing
that he’s supposed to like the other person the same way back but it’s not fully there. Maybe
it’s because Hoseok stole him. Before they ever even crossed paths, Hoseok claimed him,
only he could ever make Yoongi purr.

Hoseok breaks to breathe and maybe to process his thoughts. His forehead presses to
Yoongi’s. The cameras don’t exist. This is their world. “But you said-”

“I know what I said,” Yoongi tells him. “What does that tell you?”
“You like me, don’t you, Min Yoongi?” He says, teasingly. It’s the tone of voice you would
use in high school to make fun of a friend who’s got a crush. Except Yoongi knows this isn’t
a crush. This environment was set up to make two people fall in love. Yoongi once thought to
resist it. He never could have put up the proper barriers to protect himself from Hoseok.

Now that he’s kissed him once and it was caught by the camera, there’s really no harm in
doing it again. The world already knows what he did. He kisses Hoseok again, intensely.
Their noses collide briefly, they both laugh, but don’t stop kissing. Yoongi’s hands are on his
chest. He’s so strong. He can feel Hoseok’s body and presses closer to it. It’s a make out
session that is definitely going to be too much for TV so maybe if he plays more into it, the
footage won’t be usable at all.

Hoseok’s mouth is desperate. Truthfully, he suspected that Yoongi was going to cave in.
They’ve both known Yoongi likes him since the start, but he’s been so afraid of the cameras
that Hoseok has wondered a few times whether they’d ever get here. He’s been worried about
it since he realized that he was attracted to Yoongi… so day one. There have been so many
moments where it could have been, but he never pushed Yoongi too far. Maybe just threw the
charm into high gear so that Yoongi couldn’t hold himself back any longer.

But finally, here. Yoongi has stopped trying to keep everything in, he’s let his composure fall.
Exactly what Hoseok’s been waiting for: for Yoongi to fall without bracing himself for
impact.

The kiss reflects all that tension. All of the time he’s spent waiting for Yoongi. All of the
talking early in the morning when everyone else is still asleep. All of the inside jokes they
already have. All of the moments on group dates where Yoongi looks only at him. All of the
roses that Yoongi gave away to everyone else first just to tease Hoseok with the last rose.

Nothing could ruin this moment. Yoongi honestly has more of Hoseok’s spit in his mouth
than his own and that is disgusting, and he loves it. Millions, possibly tens of millions of
people are going to see this on their television screens, but they won’t know. They have no
idea. They don’t know how real it is, or how good it feels. They won’t know the erratic
beating in Yoongi’s chest. They won’t know the way Hoseok’s fingers burn every part of skin
they touch. They won’t know any of it.

There’s nothing that could stop him from kissing Hoseok until they’re both blue. Nothing at
all. Until Producer Dad says, “alright, boys can we shoot some solo interviews real quick?”

Yoongi almost jumps in surprise. Vaguely he knows the cameras are there, but he forgot that
there are people holding the cameras and the two or three production crew who are also here.
He looks over his shoulder, feeling like he’s been woken up from a long nap, shocked to see
actual human beings looking at them. What the fuck are they doing there? Can’t they tell this
is a private moment?

Hoseok ignores them, and grabs Yoongi’s face. They then proceed to try to eat other’s
mouths.

“I cannot believe this kid,” Producer Dad says, sounding so annoyed that Yoongi laughs, and
whenever Yoongi laughs, Hoseok can’t help himself. Producer Dad starts mumbling to
 himself about how Yoongi came onto the show declaring he’d never kiss anyone, never date
anyone. But then Hoseok came along, and it’s physically impossible to resist falling for
Hoseok.

God, when Hoseok giggles, the whole world stops. He’s either laughing so hard that you feel
it in your belly, or he giggles so cutely that it stabs you in the heart. His soft sound now is the
latter. He looks at Yoongi from a few inches away, he can’t steal his gaze from the lips he just
kissed. He’s always been more forward with his emotions than Yoongi, but Yoongi’s heart is
on his cheeks right now. How is it possible that he just kissed that mouth? Why are the eyes
looking at him so devastating?

Hoseok hadn’t realized his hand was still in Yoongi’s hair, but Yoongi most certainly hasn’t
forgotten. Hoseok’s face is flawless, it’s unbelievable. His neck is so sharp and clean. He’s
literally perfect. You always think that inevitably you’ll have to settle for someone, right? Not
that they’re not perfect for you, but maybe they’ve got really greasy skin, or they smell bad,
or they’re too bony. Sure, those flaws are vapid, but that doesn’t mean you don’t think them.
Hoseok is literally perfect. He’s literally perfect.

“Are we dating?” Yoongi asks him. “I think we’re dating. We’re dating, aren’t we?”

“We are,” Hoseok says, nodding, like he feels sorry for Yoongi.

“Yo, uh… father?” Yoongi says loudly into the night. Hoseok snorts and then hides his face
into Yoongi’s shoulder as he tries to flag down Producer Dad.

“Yes, Yoongi?” his voice is all that is heard, the actual face belonging to that voice is
nowhere to be seen, probably too angry for Yoongi to gaze upon while retaining his health.

“You can send all the other contestants home now,” he says, and he feels Hoseok’s breath on
his shoulder from where his face is hidden. “I picked one.” Truth be told, as soon a Hoseok
got the first date card, everyone else could have left. Everyone knows that, especially
Producer Dad.

“Yoongi, there are four weeks left.”

“I’m not seeing your point.”

“There are literally still eight other people in the mansion, you cannot just be done, this show
has four weeks left plus an after the rose episode.”

“Ugh, whatever,” he says, before he pulls Hoseok’s head back up to kiss him for many, many,
many more minutes.

Chapter End Notes

Your comment prompt for today is just to please please please write a comment. This
was one of the first chapters I wrote for this fic because I was so excited about it and it
would mean SO MUCH to me if you leave a comment. Okay, thanks, I love you, please
remember to vote if you're eligible and you live in the US!
 The "L" Words
Chapter Summary

Chapter summary. The summary for this chapter, the summary chosen especially to
describe this chapter. This chapter's summary. That summary?

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

{{

(The Bachelor: Boys Will Be Boys SK Interview Min Yoongi #31)

Interviewer: [Oh god, it’s him again. He scares me. I don’t like him] On day one, I asked you
if you thought you would find your future husband. How have things changed for you now
that you’re five weeks in?

Yoongi: Oh boy, that’s a loaded question. Things are… well I feel a lot differently five weeks
later than I did when I first started the show. I was horribly cynical, too cynical. It’s not like I
didn’t believe in love, but… I don’t know what I’m trying to say. I’m turning over a new leaf,
so to say.

Interviewer: [In disbelief] So you believe you have met your future husband?

Yoongi: Whether or not he’s my future husband, I know that I’ve met one of the most
important people I will ever have in my life. Without question, I was supposed to meet him in
my lifetime. In sixty years, I’ll remember his name and his face even if he’s not beside me.
But God… I, I hope he is. It’s too soon to say it. It’s far too soon. But I can’t begin to imagine
how much fun the two of us are going to have together.

Interviewer: So, you initially wanted to repress feelings towards any of the contestants.
What changed?

Yoongi: (shrugging) I met him.

Interviewer: Is that going to change how you approach the last weeks of this show?

Yoongi: Hmm. I think it’s about time that I… well that I expose my soft center. I think there’s
every chance that I read incorrectly on camera, or that I’m not myself, because who I am…
I’m not an [censored] even though that’s what I’ve tried to make the country believe. I’m
just… I guess I’m just like treading water right now, not in my relationship, but in who I want
to be as a person. I don’t know who I am, that’s a struggle we all deal with now and again,
but I’m really not sure. Somedays I feel like I’m a rapper, I’m Agust D, who’s only job is to
 diss, or be feared, or to come off as cold and mysterious. But then other times I’m Min
Yoongi. I’m just a guy who’s trying to find happiness. I don’t really know how to present
myself in either of those forms, and a camera on me makes it a production. I’m performing
my personality while I work through it. I’m not myself, because I’m still a little unsure of
who that person is.

Interviewer: Who do you want to be?

Yoongi: I think who I want to be right now is just to be perceived as how I feel on the inside.
I don’t want people to think I’m different than how I think of myself. I see myself as kind and
funny and a little reserved. But I know that’s not what I give off when I pretend to be a piece
of [censored].

Interviewer: So, what steps are you going to be taking to attain that goal?

Yoongi: Mostly just honesty, I think. No more solo interviews where I’m intentionally a jerk
for the fun of it. No more trying to be anything that I’m not.

Interviewer: [I’m not crying, you’re crying]. That’s quite an emotional development for you.

Yoongi: I think it’s something that’s starting to come out anyway. I’m like… I’m in love. I’m
absolutely in love. It’s not like there’s any doubt, right? I’m in love with Hoseok. And it’s
thanks to this godawful show, but that doesn’t mean it’s not real. I just don’t want to look
back at this show and hate who I was on it or hate the way I behaved. It’s too late to take
back the way I’ve already acted, but it’s not too late for me to act like my real self, whoever
he is.

Interviewer: So, it’s because of Hoseok that you’re making this change?

Yoongi: More or less. I never meant to take this show seriously. You can roll back the clips.
That cynicism was real. I genuinely never thought I would take this thing seriously. You’d
think that my change would be steady, but it hasn’t been. He hit me like a train, Hoseok. I
don’t want to be who I was before him. I want to be the me I am when he’s around. He just
makes me feel good. It’s like I’ve learned how to smile. I think he’ll give me wings if I’m
around him for too long.

Now that it’s Hoseok… now that I have him, I want to actually be able to go back and watch
this show someday. No one else gets to literally playback themselves falling in love with a
person, but I do. So, it’s important to me that I’m not a [censored] when I do watch this back.
I don’t want Hoseok to get the wrong impression of me either, even though we know each
other well enough that he’d never think that bravado was real anyway.

I don’t know. I’m just in love with him. I don’t know when or how I’ll say it to him. But I
want to say it to him.

Interviewer: You’re not encouraged to say that before the final rose, you know.

Yoongi: See, me falling in love with Hoseok doesn’t mean that I’m going to start listening to
the rules of this show. I’m grateful that I met him, and I’m not going to actively be a jerk
 anymore, but I’m not about to compromise how absolutely stupid I think this all is. I’ll act
how I want to act around him. I’m not allowed to [censored] him either, but I will take my
clothes off in an instant if he wants to.

Interviewer: [(Sighing) so you’re still a bit of a jerk then, aren’t you, Yoongi?]

Yoongi: [censored], I am so in love with him. I’m so [censored] in love with him.

**Notes from the director: Personally, I’d like to see him suffer. Just a little bit. But I really
want to see it.

}}

“I kissed him.”

“You kissed him?”

“I kissed him!”

Seokjin’s mouth is agape for a moment before it spreads into a wide grin. “You kissed him!”

Hoseok’s face hurts from smiling. He smiled all last night, in his sleep, all day so far, and he
will likely continue to smile until his cheeks fall off. “I kissed him.”

“Why did it take so long?” Seokjin asks, putting his elbow on the counter to look at him
adoringly. As always, Yoongi and Hoseok woke up before everyone else. When they met
downstairs for breakfast, Yoongi took off his jacket, the one Hoseok had picked out for him,
and covered their heads so he could kiss Hoseok in the kitchen. They did that for several
minutes, and they both tasted like toothpaste which is a good way to kiss someone. Now,
unfortunately, he’s been taken away for an entire day of back to back interviews. Lots of
shoving him in front of cameras, probably talking to that one interviewer guy who’s way too
passive, and a lot of off-camera grilling by Producer Dad. Hoseok is probably going to have
to do a lot of interviews later too, but he’s trying to ignore that.

Even as he looks at Seokjin, Hoseok’s lips tingles from where he kissed Yoongi. It’s never
felt like that before. Hoseok kind of thought he didn’t like kissing. It’s never been something
that he strives for. It’s wet and then you get someone else’s spit around your mouth and even
when it dries it feels like it’s still there. Inevitably, you knock teeth or noses or whatever. It’s
just not fun.

Except Yoongi… even before he actually kissed Yoongi, all he wanted was for it to happen.
Bad kisses in his belt, he could tell his feelings for Yoongi would overshadow any prior
prejudices he held. Of course, he was right. Yoongi’s an amazing kisser. His lips aren’t even
chapped! He knows exactly where to put his hands, how not to make it sloppy, how to use his
tongue. He’s wonderful, and Hoseok’s body craves him every second they’re apart from each
other.

“Hoseok?” Seokjin asks.

“Hmm?” he realizes he’s been tuned out, thinking about seeing Yoongi again and kissing him
until his lips are swollen. He desperately wants to fall asleep in Yoongi’s arms. He’s been the
big spoon twice now and he thinks he deserves a switcheroo. Unless Yoongi wants to be little
spoon again in which case he will gladly be big spoon.

“You on earth right now?”

“I’m on Jupiter,” he says.

“So why did it take so long then, Hoseok?” Seokjin repeats.

“Yoongi is a bit camera shy…” Hoseok shrugs. “Or maybe camera shy isn’t the word. He’s
camera antagonistic.”

Seokjin considers it and then nods. “I’m glad to hear it, though,” he smiles, though it’s barely
even a facial expression compared to the brightness on Hoseok’s face. “No one ever stood a
chance when he saw you for the first time.”

“Strange, considering how gorgeous you are.”

“You’re not wrong,” Seokjin says, always the king of confidence.

“When did you stop liking Yoongi anyway?” Hoseok asks curiously. He’s never had any
serious jealousy aimed towards Seokjin, even though a face that pretty should make everyone
jealous. It’s been several weeks now since Hoseok felt any jealousy at all, actually. There’s
never been a moment where Yoongi seemed to have any romantic interest in Seokjin. It’s
unclear when Seokjin set his sights on Namjoon. Though he has never once uttered his name
in association with who he likes, Seokjin has made it very clear that he likes Namjoon.

“Romantically? I never did. I thought he was good looking and nice, but he’s not really my
type. I played it up for the camera, because I am an actor after all, but no, there was never a
spark.”

“That’s good…” he nods. He must be an awful person. He’s sitting at the kitchen counter
with Seokjin trying to have a conversation but the only thing he can think about is the way
Yoongi’s hair feels between his fingers. It’s always got product in it, though he can tell it’s
soft behind all that dressing up. He loves how pale Yoongi’s skin is, how easy it would be to
leave little marks running up and down his neck. He could absolutely destroy Yoongi, and
he’d be glad to. Really, he’d rather just hold him in his arms in a hammock all alone. And
then maybe destroy him right after.

“I can just picture you and Yoongi tomorrow, eyes lingering, silently confessing your sins to
each other, as he gives you the last rose of the night,” Seokjin says it melodramatically and
Hoseok’s grin just gets even bigger. Yeah, that is probably what he’s going to do. Hoseok will
bite his lip, remembering the way Yoongi’s mouth tastes, but he won’t kiss him in front of all
the other bachelors. Even if they all know that Hoseok has “won” the show, it would be in
bad taste. Two contestants will go home tomorrow, but Yoongi and Hoseok won’t be able to
look away from each other. If Hoseok is doing his math right, it’ll be M and S going home
tomorrow, which will leave D as the only person left in the house who’s not in the inner
circle.

Hoseok doesn’t even want to think about next week. He doesn’t want to face the fact that one
of his friends will inevitably go home, possibly two of them if D gets his way. He has no idea
what decision Yoongi will make, who it’ll be. When the show first started, he couldn’t wait
for it just to be he and Yoongi. He couldn’t get rid of contestants fast enough. Now, the
thought depresses him. He wants the seven of them to all be together. If Taehyung leaves
him, god forbid, if Taehyung leaves… that’ll be heart breaking. Taehyung is one of his
favorite humans on the goddamn earth and now that he has him, he doesn’t want to be
without him. He wants them all to have apartments next to each other like in the show
Friends, a favorite of Namjoon’s. He does not want to share a bedroom wall with any of them
for… reasons.

When they get out, which certainly sounds like a prison break, they’re going to have a
friendship bond that no one else has ever had. They all fell in love together. They all lived
together as strangers and left as best friends. Hoseok is going to take everyone bowling. He
doesn’t even know how to bowl. But they’re all going to do it. And he’s going to get
everyone drunk. Hoseok is a sleepy drunk, but it’ll still be fun. Maybe they’ll all go to the
beach, or to the mountains. It’s going to be amazing. He has to start brainstorming what their
group chat is going to be named.

But then there’s Yoongi and him. He wants to buy a couch with Yoongi. He wants to buy a
fucking couch! It can’t be a super nice couch because they’re going to get a dog, but there’s
something domestic about furniture shopping and Hoseok has never done that before with
someone else. He moved in with a boyfriend once when he was very young and that didn’t
end well, he moved out about two months later. He was pretty sure that relationship was on
the rocks before he even got the key to that guy’s apartment.

Hoseok has already started thinking about birthday presents for Yoongi. His birthday is in
March, and it’s the middle of summer so it’s going to be a while.

He desperately wants to eat food out of a food cart stand with Yoongi.

He wants to bring Yoongi to a dance competition and wants to hypnotize him. Hell, he wants
Yoongi just to watch him while he practices.

He wants to be the first person in the whole world to hear Yoongi’s next mixtape. He wants to
be in the room when it’s recorded. He wants Yoongi to put his hands on Hoseok’s and teach
him how to play piano.

Hoseok looks at Seokjin, “I can picture anything having to do with him.”

“So, what’s this mean for you two? You’re out here making out, chilling in hammocks. The
show is as good as over. They just have to shove us through the motions for another month or
so. But then what?”

“I’m not sure,” Hoseok shrugs, but there are words inside of him that are dying to be said. If
not to Yoongi, then they need to be spoken aloud before he breaks into pieces. “Except…
well… Jin?”

“Yes?”

“I’m in love with him.” It’s the easiest thing to say, because it’s the easiest truth in the world.
It’s as if he’s saying his own name.

Seokjin doesn’t look surprised at all. He just has a smile that grows from one corner of his
mouth to the other. “You’re in love with him.”

“I’m hideously in love with him,” Hoseok nods. “I’m in love with Min Yoongi!”

“That’s fucking precious, you’re so cute,” Seokjin says, and covers his face with his hands.
He’s smiling. It’s unexplainable, but Hoseok’s confession makes him feel all jittery like it’s
Namjoon saying it to him instead of Hoseok saying it about someone else. He just loves love.
Wishes he had it for himself, but the thesis of the show always was for Yoongi to find his
soulmate. Meeting Namjoon is just a very lucky accident for Seokjin.

“It was so easy!” Hoseok says. “It was so fast. Falling for him, it wasn’t steady, but it also
didn’t happen all at once. I think it was like remembering. I just had to remember that he’s
been the one all along. I don’t really believe in past lives, but it’s possible I knew him in my
last one.”

“You’re giving me cavities,” Seokjin shakes his head.

“I’m sorry! I can’t help it. I don’t know what to do with my internal organs anymore. I need
to get rid of them, so I have more space to store my love for him.”

“I want someone to love me the way you love him,” Seokjin says wistfully.

“Well obviously N-”

Seokjin holds up a hand, “Don’t say his name.”

“Are you mad at him?” Hoseok asks, worriedly. Seokjin and Namjoon aren’t allowed to not
get together. They’re supposed to get married! Hell, he won’t be surprised if they elope by
the end of the show.

“No, not mad, that’s not the word,” he says, closing his eyes softly and shaking his head.
“Furious, enraged.”

“In love?” Hoseok asks, sensing the edge to his voice.

“Quite possibly,” he nods. “But he’s an idiot, as we all know.”

The idiot walks into the kitchen about five minutes later, hair wet from the shower. The idiot
is beautiful and Seokjin adores every single hair on his head. In a heartbeat, he would push
the idiot up against the wall and kiss him until they both suffocate.

“Hi Seokjin.”
“Hi Namjoon.”

“Hi Namjoon,” Hoseok says. Namjoon must not hear him say it.

Come to think of it, Hoseok doesn’t really sit and talk with Namjoon all that often. Yoongi
had to actively tell Namjoon about his relationship with Yoongi, and it’s never been discussed
between Namjoon and Hoseok personally. It’s weird, because Namjoon is actually pretty
emotionally aware, but it’s selective. If Hoseok were crying, Taehyung would have to
physically push Namjoon out of way in order to be the one to calm him down, but when it
comes to romance, Namjoon’s a fucking dumbass.

“I kissed Yoongi last night,” Hoseok says. He’s not in the business of keeping it a secret. The
second he gets in front of a camera for an interview, he will cut himself open to expose the
softness beneath. He’ll say anything short of describing the way Yoongi’s mouth feels,
because it would be gross and other people would get jealous.

Namjoon turns in surprise. His hand is on the refrigerator handle, but Hoseok’s
announcement has frozen it in place, completely abandoning its mission. Hoseok can’t stop
himself from looking at his hand and not his face, thought he can’t explain why.

“Wow. Okay.”

“Yeah, so that happened,” he nods.

He wants to talk about all the making out that’s going on in the mansion, but neither Seokjin
nor Namjoon are aware of Jungkook’s antics, or at least, he doubts it. He can’t talk about all
of the other hot gossip with these two because he would be betraying Taehyung’s trust.
However, he’s okay with being the center of attention if it means talking about Yoongi with
heart eyes.

Namjoon’s hand is still on the refrigerator handle. “He said he wouldn’t kiss anyone unless
he knew they were the one. Or well, I guess those weren’t his exact words, but-”

“No, he pretty much said that,” Hoseok confirms, and his smile is blinding. “It’s very
possible, maybe even very likely, that Yoongi is in love with me. I sure as hell love him.”
Seokjin might be confident about his face, but Hoseok is pretty confident about the way
Yoongi feels about him.

Quietly, Seokjin hums the tune, ‘Yoongi and Hoseok sitting in a tree.’

“Does this mean the show is, like, over?” Namjoon asks. He forgets about the refrigerator
and leans over the counter, elbows on the table. The show can’t be over when he hasn’t made
a move on Seokjin yet! What if Seokjin doesn’t like him back and never wants to see him
again after the show? If that happens, Namjoon is going to go live in a box by the ocean.

“Well no, there are certainly still other things that need to be sorted out,” he says. “Also I’m
pretty sure that Yoongi signed a pretty hefty contract.” He looks from one of them to the
other, and then back again. Namjoon is positioned only a few inches away from Namjoon,
and together, they do look perfect. They make absolutely perfect sense. Seokjin is
wonderfully goofy, loud, sarcastic. Namjoon is serious when you first meet him, but a few
layers deep, he’s exactly the same as Seokjin. The two of the next to each make sense in a
weird way. They look like a couple.

Hoseok wants to lean over the counter and press their faces together like they’re dolls he’s
playing with. It’s not a miracle those two need, it’s a smack in the face.

“I wish everyone could feel the way I do. So happy and in love,” he says. Namjoon looks at
Seokjin, gulps, and then turns around to open the refrigerator again. Hoseok puts his fingers
to his temple and for the briefest of moments considers locking them in a room together until
they take off all their clothes. He’ll put that idea on the backburner. If it needs to happen, it
will happen.

“Hoseokie!” Taehyung erupts into the kitchen and gives him a back hug. It’s way too tight
and he nearly falls off of his chair. So, it’s like any other Taehyung hug.

“Good morning, Tae. Sleep well?”

“Of course,” he says. He waves hello to the other two and then sits next to Hoseok. Taehyung
was the first person to find out about his escapades last night. They hid under the covers of
Taehyung’s bed and he talked about their date while D snored in the background. He was
almost more excited about it than Hoseok was, if that were possible.

For the briefest moment, Hoseok remembers how jealous he once was of Taehyung. He was
so stupid as to think of him as competition. He actually disliked him once? How is it even
possible to dislike Taehyung? That’s like hating water.

Taehyung turns his head away from the other two in the kitchen to ask, “So, how are you?”

“I told them. Don’t worry.”

“Oh, phew. I was too excited to keep it in for too long,” he says. It’s a rich statement coming
from someone who has been making out with Jungkook for the last week but still hasn’t let
anyone other than Hoseok in on the secret. Yoongi knows too but that’s because Jungkook
told him. “Isn’t Hoseokie cute?”

“Adorable,” Seokjin says and Namjoon nods. Taehyung hugs him again and takes the seat
next to him. Hoseok blushes because, yeah, he is cute as all hell.

“Love is in the air,” Taehyung says. “Don’t you feel it?”

Again, Seokjin and Namjoon glance towards each other. Seokjin undoubtedly suspects
something pertaining to Jungkook, Jimin and Taehyung, but it’s only available in glances he
gives towards them. Hoseok has to wonder if Namjoon knows anything about what other
romances are flowering. He has to assume that he doesn’t. It’s going to be amazing to have
movie nights or game nights with the seven of them when all this is over and Namjoon is
crudely awoken with all of the love around him. Hoseok has an annoying little spike in his
gut with how much he wants Namjoon to just confess his feelings already. It just wouldn’t be
fair for anyone to say it for him. For Seokjin’s sake, their story needs to start with Namjoon,
not with anyone else. It won’t be an exciting story to tell their future unborn adopted babies
that their uncle Hoseok was actually the one who got them together. It’s not what a couple
like them deserves. Namjoon and Seokjin deserve a symphony.

Namjoon drinks his milk awkwardly. Taehyung blinks at him. Seokjin rolls his eyes and puts
bread in the toaster. Everyone feels bad for Seokjin. Even Namjoon probably feels bad.

It takes a few minutes but Namjoon and Seokjin fall into conversation like they usually do.
Hoseok sips his tea and watches them while Taehyung puts too much strawberry jam onto his
toast.

“How are you this morning, Tae?”

He shrugs. Both Taehyung and Jimin are aware that the other has kissed Jungkook, Taehyung
told him as much last night. It’s hard to believe Hoseok even gave Taehyung a chance to
speak with how much he gushed over Yoongi. It’s probably a matter of hours – not days –
that the three of them all confront each other with their feelings. Hoseok is excited for it,
though not as much as Taehyung is. Taehyung is usually excited about something, it’s in his
nature, but the idea of having two boyfriends practically makes him vibrate.

No one else’s relationship is moving at the same velocity as Hoseok and Yoongi’s. They
admitted to liking each other on date one. It’s been exclusive since about that same time.
However, if the three of them all admit their feelings for each other, he’s sure that he and
Yoongi will soon be surpassed. At least he’ll win in a race against Namjoon. Hoseok will be
behind the finish line before Namjoon is told he’s in a race.

It’s a shock to literally everyone when Jungkook comes downstairs not long after Taehyung.
That’s… new. To be fair, there’s only so many of them in the house at this point, but
Jungkook? Awake before ten? Downstairs before even Jimin? When he isn’t even going on a
date? Hoseok almost stands up to check his temperature.

Before he can begin to ask why Jungkook is awake so early, his eyes just about bulge out of
his head because Jungkook has a goddamn hickey! He has a goddamn fucking hickey. On his
neck, way too big for him to have fallen on a doorknob, almost hidden by his collar but not
quite. Hoseok must be the only person to notice it, or at least he hopes he is. He jumps out of
his seat and then forcibly pulls Jungkook after him. Jungkook has barely stepped into the
kitchen before Hoseok is pulling him away without any warning or explanation.

“Whoa, what the fuck?” Jungkook asks as Hoseok is maybe a little too forceful tugging on
him.

“Jungkook,” he whispers. The other three guys are undoubtedly looking around at each other
wondering what just happened. He doesn’t want them to go poking their heads out of the
doorway to see what’s going on, so he makes towards the stairs. He must have some product
in his room to cover it up, or at least, he probably has a scarf that Jungkook can use.
Something, anything. This is Jungkook. Jungkook is basically his child.

“Hoseok?”
“You have a hickey,” he hisses at him. As expected, Jungkook did not know that. His eyes
nearly fall out of his skull. Instead of Hoseok having to drag him upstairs, Jungkook actually
takes the steps three at a time to beat him. Now if it were anyone else, Hoseok would just
make fun of him and ignore it, but this is Jungkook. If there’s anyone who wants to hide a
hickey from the world, it’s Jungkook.

How had he not noticed it this morning? He’s still in his pajamas, so it’s possible he hasn’t
even brushed his teeth yet. Maybe he hasn’t looked in a mirror. How did he not even realize
he had one? It’s hard to accidentally get a hickey. Hoseok wants to hit Jungkook over the
head with how stupid he is. Lovingly of course, but he’s still an idiot.

“Do you have, I don’t know, makeup?” Hoseok asks when he gets to the top floor to see
Jungkook scrambling into his room. Hoseok follows him inside and shuts the door. Jimin is
in the process of putting on a shirt and looks a little surprised to see him. Hoseok pauses his
thoughts to consider shirtless Jimin for a moment. It’s certainly an image that’s going to stay
with him.

“I don’t know, I don’t know,” Jungkook says, immediately rifling through his stuff.

“What’s up?” Jimin asks.

“Did you do that?” Hoseok asks, pointing at Jungkook.

“Do… him?” Jimin seriously misinterprets the question.

“Shut the fuck up, shut the fuck up,” Jungkook says, putting his hands to his ears like a
toddler not wanting to be given an order.

“His neck, you idiot,” Hoseok says.

Jimin looks at Jungkook curiously and then has a face of realization. “Oh that? Yeah, that was
me.”

“Jimin!” Jungkook’s voice really does sound like a kid throwing a temper tantrum now.

“You liked it,” Jimin shrugs, completely disinterested.

“Do you have something to cover it up at least?” Jungkook asks, when he turns the bathroom
upside down looking for something. Jimin nods, chuckling to himself. After rifling through a
small bag in his dresser, he throws some foundation at Jungkook. “It’s not going to be the
right skin tone.”

“As long as it covers up even a little bit, I don’t care.”

“Oh, you guys are such a mess,” Hoseok sighs, taking a seat on one of the newly empty beds.
He wishes his room was just Taehyung, instead of having to share his space with that
dickhead D. “I thought I was a mess.”

“You haven’t even kissed Yoongi yet, at least I’m making progress,” Jimin says, sitting next
to him. Jungkook hurries to the bathroom to cover up Jimin’s handiwork.
“I did! I kissed him last night,” Hoseok says, and Jimin rests his head on Hoseok’s shoulder
casually and then wraps his arms around him too. Jimin has cuteness coming out of his ears
honestly. He just wants to hug everything in sight and it’s so special.

“Aw, really?”

“Yeah,” he smiles.

Jimin hums softly. “Damn, now I’ve got to step up my game. Got to give Tae a hickey too.”

A little surprised, Hoseok looks at him. This is the first time he’s heard actual proof out of
Jimin’s mouth. He settled his curiosity with assumption and Taehyung’s intuition. But this is
straight from his mouth and he wants to pat himself on the back for being so smart. Well, it
was mostly Yoongi who figured it out… but he agreed! “I knew it.”

“I haven’t been trying to hide it,” Jimin laughs, picking his head off of Hoseok’s shoulder but
not letting go of him. Every time Hoseok sees Jimin’s new hair, he’s a little caught off guard
by how sweet and pretty it is. He suits it so perfectly that it’s hard to believe he didn’t pop out
of the womb with pink hair. He pets Jimin’s head absently and smiles. What might Yoongi
look like with hair this color?

“The seven of us should all hang out tonight,” Hoseok says, mostly out of nowhere. He
absently watches Jungkook in the the bathroom trying to cover up the bruise on his neck.
“Play a board game or whatever.”

“Just not monopoly,” Jungkook calls.

“Spin the bottle,” Jimin jokes.

“Absolutely not!” he says. He knows Jimin is joking but if anyone tries to kiss Yoongi
they’re going home with a black eye and a broken nose. Jimin snorts and pokes Hoseok in the
face to annoy him.

“Only joking, Hoseokie. We’ll play a game, but the only person allowed to kiss Yoongi is
you.”

“How’s it look?” Jungkook asks when he exits the bathroom.

“Presentable,” Hoseok nods.

Jimin sighs, “I liked it better before.”

“Keep it in your pants, Jimin.”

He just smirks and decides to devour Jungkook within his mind. In his mind just for now.
Jimin and Jungkook look at each other and Hoseok suddenly feels gross between the two of
them. He isn’t just a third wheel; he is intruding on something way too sexual for his liking.
Jungkook mostly looks frazzled whereas Jimin’s thoughts sizzle. Hoseok wants Yoongi to
look at him like that. The way either of them look at each other.
 Damn, Hoseok thinks. Love might be in the air, but so is lust.

Chapter End Notes

I wish there was more happening in this chapter but I wanted to get it up so that you had
some content! Today's comment prompt is for you to tell me your favorite Halloween
movie, or favorite costume, or favorite monster. Literally anything Halloween themed.
Also, I got a BTS tattoo.
 His Yoongi
Chapter Summary

This is an all around good chapter. 10/10 would recommend.

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

{{

(The Bachelor: Boys Will Be Boys SK Interview Kim Namjoon #14)

Do I know I’m being an idiot? Yeah, I do. I am reasonably certain that everyone thinks I’m
an idiot. I kind of can’t be angry with them for thinking that, because… I’m an idiot.

My problem is that every single day that goes by where I don’t admit to him that I like him,
the harder it gets. I try to say something, or even just to get closer to him, but then I just feel
myself… stop?

When I was a kid, I can’t explain it, but sometimes, I just totally became mute for hours or
days at a time. I remember being in the car once with my mom and my aunt, I don’t even
know where we were going, but it was a long drive. At one point, my mom had turned off the
radio for a few minutes to talk to my auntie and then she forgot to turn it back on. I was in the
backseat, I tried to ask her to turn it back on, but I just found myself incapable of speaking. I
fully felt my vocal cords completely close. There was nothing I could do, because my voice
just wouldn’t come. I… it was almost scary. No, no it was scary. I tried, I even opened and
closed my mouth. It was like that for a few hours, and I truly don’t understand what
happened.

It happens to me still sometimes, though not as much now that I’m an adult. Usually it
doesn’t last for too long. I had bouts in high school where I just couldn’t talk for days and I
don’t know why. My parents would get all worried, and my friends thought I was mad at
them. I tried, God, did I try. Something just broke in me. I stopped knowing how to talk. It
has to be psychosomatic, but there never seems to be a reason for why it happens.

Well, except for him, except for S-S-Se… [he has a look of panic, possibly realizing that he’s
about to become mute.] Except for him. [There you go, Namjoon. Those are words.] I
understand the cause when it’s him. I try to bite down on it, but there’s a mental block. The
cameras make it worse. I’d probably be able to say how I felt if we were out of this place. I
hope it doesn’t take me that long. I hope I see him in an hour and my words finally happen.
But every time that I try… I just can’t.
I think he’s waiting for me [Namjoon hangs his head]. That kind of kills me. He’s waiting for
me to say something to him, and he’s right, it should be me. That’s like, it’s just obvious. I’m
the one who started something between us with how I’ve acted around him. He’s waiting on
me and I don’t know what to do.

I want… well I don’t… it’s personal, I don’t want to go into it. I just want to say how I feel to
him. God, maybe I’m just going to have to write a love letter [He puts his face in his hands].
(Muffled) How embarrassing is that?

**Notes from the director: I didn’t think I could be more bored Namjoon than I have been this
last month and yet here we are.

}}

Hoseok returns from the second floor twenty minutes later without Jungkook in his tow.
Taehyung waits until he’s in the kitchen and pricks his ears for the sound of him coming
down the stairs, but he doesn’t come down. Neither does Jimin.

Hoseok takes up the seat next to Taehyung because Seokjin and Namjoon are now bumping
elbows and pretending like each other’s touch doesn’t start an earthquake. Namjoon is talking
about a vacation he once took and that makes Hoseok jealous because he hasn’t been on a
vacation since he was about fourteen. He’s travelled a little bit for dance competitions, but
never done any vacation-y things while gone. He doesn’t have the money, and that’s probably
what he most wants to do with his Yoongi. He can’t wait for the final week of the show
where they go to Europe. He’s going to kiss Yoongi on different soil. It’ll be perfect. He
wants it to be some place magical, like Paris, Rome, Amsterdam.

His stomach falls a bit when he remembers how close they time is to people he loves leaving.
Soon, it won’t be the seven of them plus three other guys. It’ll become eight of them, then
six… until it’s just he and Yoongi. Hoseok is excited for the rose ceremony tomorrow to take
away two people, and yet that just brings him ever closer to saying goodbye to his friends.
Sure, he’s going to see the others after the final rose, but it won’t be the same. They won’t all
be living together, eating all their meals together, playing games. As terrible as having no
internet is, it’s made him come to appreciate his friends more and more. He can’t even
imagine a world where Taehyung doesn’t sleep in the bunk above him anymore. He’s become
so used to it, that he might even miss the sound of D snoring.

“I think that the seven of us should all hang out tonight like a big happy family,” Hoseok
smiles.

“Yeah, sure,” Seokjin nods. He doesn’t have to question who “the seven of us” refers to,
because even with ten people in this house, there’s only seven that really matter.

Anything that Seokjin agrees to, it can be assumed that Namjoon also agrees to. Hoseok
looks over to Taehyung to get his opinion but he’s off in his own little Taehyung world. Not
abnormal for him. He’s looking at a cabinet behind Seokjin’s ear with a blank expression that
makes Hoseok want to put a blanket over his shoulder and get him a cup of tea.
Taehyung considers asking Hoseok what Jimin and Jungkook are up to, but then he rethinks
because he doesn’t want to ask in front of the other two. He purses his lips and looks down at
his food in front of him. He forgot he was eating it. He can’t really handle the uncertainty of
his thoughts right now, and eating will get in the way of that. He’s not that hungry anyway.
Taehyung puts his plate by the sink after washing it off and then he darts up the stairs.
Hoseok watches him go, and then looks wistfully back at Namjoon and Seokjin who will
probably not notice he’s even sitting here for another ten minutes.

Taehyung hears voices coming from Jungkook and Jimin’s room, so he knocks on the door
softly. There are still three other guys upstairs right now, D and S who are in his own room,
and then M who is bunked with Seokjin and Namjoon. Those guys don’t have as much of a
reason to come downstairs early because they’re not well acquainted with each other, and
some of them have never even tried. Jimin and Jungkook have a room all to themselves and
Taehyung is a bit jealous. Not that he wants to have a room all to himself, but because he
wants to have a room with both of them in it.

Footsteps approach the door and then Jimin opens it in front of him. Neither of them greet
each other, Jimin just swings his arms around Taehyung like they haven’t seen each other in
years.

“Taehyungie!” he says excitedly, dragging him into the room and then closing the door
behind him. Jungkook is seated on his bed, hands under his thighs. He smiles at Taehyung
like he’s the person he most wanted to see in his life. The three of them all look at one
another and try to decide who’s going to sit where. There’s a spot next to Jungkook where
Jimin was clearly just sitting. Taehyung doesn’t want to steal that spot, but he also wants to
sit next to the both of them. He and Jimin share eye contact.

It’s in this moment that they both realize that they’re going to have the talk. Jungkook only
figures it out a moment later when he looks up to see the two of them looking at each other
like that.

“Oh,” Jungkook says. He might as well stand up too so that they’re on an even playing field.
Well, except Jimin. Despite being a few inches shorter than the other two, he’s impossible to
look down at. Jimin makes himself seem tall, even when he doesn’t do it physically.

“So…” Jimin starts and then drifts off. He puts both his hands by his sides, because he’s in
pajama bottoms that don’t have pockets for him to shove his hands into.

“So,” Taehyung nods. He has absolutely no idea how he’s standing. It certainly seems like
he’s just a brain and a set of eyes right now.

Jungkook just blinks.

None of them make any suggestion that they’re going to say anything and that makes
Taehyung bite his lip. God, they just have to rip the band aid off. They just have to do it. It’s
not as easy as for the as Yoongi and Hoseok have it. They are just two people. That’s how
most relationships are, just the two people. They knew right from the get-go. Even Namjoon
knew from the get-go.
The three of them have a rougher go of it. It’s all a lot fresher, and it’s more difficult to
broach. Taehyung has liked both of them since he first laid eyes on them. The first time he
heard Jimin’s laugh he forgot Yoongi’s name. And the first time he heard Jungkook speak he
lost all moisture in his mouth.

The only thing Taehyung knows is that he will never be able to make a choice. It doesn’t
come down to this or that. This isn’t like deciding what toppings to get on a burger. What it
comes down to is whether he wants to be happy right now or lonely. If he had to choose…
well, first off, he wouldn’t be able to. But if he absolutely had to, it wouldn’t feel right. Any
choice would be wrong because it’s not the complete picture.

It’s obvious that Jimin is the same way. If you’re alone with Jimin for more than five minutes,
you learn everything about him, because his inhibitions are few once you’re his best friend.
Everything there is to know will either be told to you directly or deduced in the notes of his
face.

Jungkook is fidgety. You can never tell what he’s thinking, but you can always tell how he’s
feeling. The day he first kissed him, Jungkook told him straight out that he was interested in
Jimin. It was a few hours after, because he didn’t want to hurt Taehyung’s feelings.

It’s been a long time coming. Right now is when it all has to be put on the table. The wishing,
wanting, waiting has been too much.

Taehyung breathes in and out deeply through his nose. If neither of them is going to say it…

“I want to be with both of you.”

Jimin and Taehyung turn to Jungkook, surprised. His jaw is firm and he’s not really looking
at either of them. He’s burning a hole into the wall though.

He takes a deep breath, and then nods to himself. “I don’t want it to be just Tae or just Jimin.
I want it to be the three of us.” He looks at one of them and then the other. Taehyung and
Jimin stare at each other. Jimin’s smile is the one to break the tension, and Taehyung feels
mountains falling off of his shoulders. Jimin’s smile is the purest thing in the universe. His
entire face smiles when he does. His eyes and nose are an important accompaniment to
perfect teeth.

“I want that too,” Jimin nods, and his pretty pink hair nods with him. Taehyung giggles,
which is enough of an affirmation.

“And to clarify, I don’t mean like, in a sex way…” Jungkook blushes. “I mean that I want to
date both of you at the same time. A couple… but like with three people… a thruple.”

“Jungkook,” Taehyung says. In unison, he and Jimin hug either side of Jungkook with all the
strength they have to give. Jungkook can only do his best not to melt from the affection.
Jungkook, in his entire life, never knew he wanted this. He couldn’t have even imagined
himself wanting two people. If he hadn’t met these two, he’s sure he never would have.
Because the thing is, it’s only them. It’s only Taehyung and Jimin. He would feel wrong
without one or the other.
“Just the three of us, though, right?” Jungkook asks.

“I don’t want anyone else ever,” Taehyung says.

“It’s the three of us. Against the world,” Jimin says. “We’re going to battle dragons together.”
Taehyung might explode because he’s falling hard and fast for the both of them. Why does
Jimin have to go and open his mouth and make him fall even harder?

Taehyung pecks Jungkook on the cheek and then looks at him firmly. Does he have makeup
on his neck? Weird. Despite Jungkook being in the middle, Jimin looks at Taehyung and it’s
never stung more than it does right now that they haven’t kissed yet. He could scream with
the hunger of it.

“Taehyung!” Jimin says furiously. Loud enough that he might wake up the people in other
rooms. Jimin launches at him and smashes his lips against Taehyung’s with two hands on
either side of his face. Their first kiss feels like they’ve kissed a million times over. Jimin’s
lips are different from Jungkook’s. There’s definitely more surface area. Jungkook wasn’t
Taehyung’s first kiss, but he was only his second. Jimin kisses him like they’re both experts.
Whatever modesty Taehyung was holding onto is wiped away in seconds.

“Hey,” Jungkook gets jealous, and tries to butt in. Not jealous of either of them in particular,
he just wants to be in the mix somewhere.

“Oh gross, you haven’t brushed your teeth,” Jimin says pushing him away the second
Jungkook gets closer.

“Fuck!” he announces with a pop, and then scurries off to the bathroom to remedy it. He was
going to brush his teeth after he had breakfast, but Hoseok disrupted him when he was about
to eat.

“Don’t worry, I’ll keep Taehyung company,” Jimin winks. He does so. Mainly with his
tongue, but his hands do a lot of work on Taehyung’s arms and shoulders as well. Jimin
pushes them onto the bed, and Taehyung immediately knows what role Jimin is going to play
in their relationship. He knows what he wants, so he does it. It took how many kisses for
Jungkook to use his tongue? Like two days? Jimin’s either making up for lost time or that’s
the kind of person he is.

He somehow feels equipped to handle a relationship. Not that Taehyung thinks himself an
expert, because he’s never been in a relationship before, but that’s exactly the point. Without
dating anyone, not a single soul, it doesn’t seem like it’ll be hard. He’s got two people to help
him along the way, and it does seem like it’s mostly just instinct. He knows where to put his
hands on Jimin’s neck, and he knows how to kiss him back. The knowledge comes to him
like a cloud floating over.

Jungkook’s return is more of an attack. He leaps on them, pushing both of them onto their
backs and clambers on.

“Hello,” Jungkook says. He sticks his tongue out at Jimin and kisses Taehyung first. Jimin
frowns and pulls himself into a sitting position.
“Jungkook, I know you said you want to date the both of us, not purely in a sexual way. But
just to clarify, we are going to have threesomes,” Jimin says and both of them punch him a
little too hard in either arm. “Ow!” He rubs at his arms with the opposite hands. “That was
mean.”

“I didn’t mean to punch so hard.” Taehyung gives him a pout that would be impossible not to
fall for. Jimin wants to pinch his little cheeks.

“Make it up to me?” Jimin asks. Taehyung laughs and then kisses him like it’s all he’s good
for. Jimin is not just a hugger; he can also be very handsy.

“What? You meant you want one now?” Jungkook’s voice is so cute that they both want to
put it in a jar and save it for a rainy day.

Jimin shrugs his shoulders. “Not necessarily.”

Taehyung, virgin and all, pushes Jimin’s back against the bed, and gets a leg on either side of
him.

“Maybe now.”

“Get off of him,” Jungkook rolls his eyes. He stands up and lifts Taehyung off like he weighs
absolutely nothing. Taehyung could get used to Jungkook’s strength. He giggles like a little
kid as he wrestles with Jungkook for a few moments while Jimin blinks up at them with
puppy eyes. He picked the two best. In the whole universe, he picked the two best.

“Jungkookie!” Taehyung tries to sound annoyed but he’s laughing too hard. Jungkook sets
him back down and gives him a judgmental look.

“Not until we’re off the show, for god’s sake,” Jungkook shakes his head. The two of them
both frown but he’s got a point. Besides, there’s nothing they can do until all three of them
agree. Jimin’s going to think about it every night before sleep though. And possibly when
he’s not asleep. Damn, Jungkook’s strong arms are going to be the death of him.

The three of them cuddle for a genuinely insane amount of time. It’s hours and hours and
hours of the three of them holding one another, blissfully happy to have each other. Taehyung
has never felt more loved in his entire life, and he never wants to be taken out of this
moment. It’s so easy to find things to talk about because they all have such different
backgrounds. Both he and Jimin are still awestruck at the fact that Jungkook is a tattoo artist.
It sounds to him like Jimin is going to have Jungkook do some work on him, while Taehyung
cowers at the prospect. Getting his ears pierced was scary enough for him, he wouldn’t be
able to handle a needle on him for that long.

“Do either of you know how to cook?” Taehyung asks. Jimin’s head is resting against
Taehyung’s chest. To be totally honest, it’s not much more intimate than they usually are with
each other. Jimin is a snuggler, cuddler, koala, and lifejacket. Jungkook’s got his other side,
clinging like he’s going to fall of the bed, which is a possibility because it’s a twin-size bed,
which are not made for three people.
“No,” Jimin shakes his head, which tickles a little bit against him.

Jungkook shrugs. “A little bit. Not well. I won’t burn the building down. I mean, I can read a
recipe well enough.”

“I saw Taehyung mess up instant rice once,” Jimin says.

“The directions were in English!” he says defensively.

“You were looking at the wrong side of the packet, dumbass. There were proper directions on
the other side.”

“It was late at night!”

“It was like eight…”

“Fuck you.”

“I plan to,” Jimin says and then Taehyung tries to push him off the bed. He catches himself
and climbs right on top of him like a blanket. “Can’t escape me now, Taehyungie.” They kiss.
Jungkook gets in on the action. It’s a little tough with three heads, three mouths, but it’s
something they’ll figure out eventually.

They finally find out just how long it’s been when someone knocks on the door to see if
they’re all still alive. Jimin and Jungkook are only just now remembering that they haven’t
eaten anything today.

“Who is it?”

“Uh, Yoongi?” the voice responds. “Hoseok said you were having male bonding time. Are
you all clothed?”

“We’re all clothed.”

“Can I come in?” Yoongi makes a sound behind the door. “Actually, never mind, I don’t want
to come in. Seokjin is making dinner. Hurry down because we’re playing a board game or
something afterwards.”

Peeling themselves off of each other is easier said than done. Every time Jungkook tries to
stand up, Taehyung grabs his wrist and pulls him back down. Jimin just doesn’t attempt to
stand up at all.

“Tae, I’m really hungry,” Jungkook groans. “I haven’t eaten all day!” Eating, to Jungkook, is
the best part of every day. Every second of time he’s awake is spent thinking about his next
meal. With a physique like that you could question whether he eats at all, but they’ve all seen
him inhale food like wolf. Taehyung hopes that he can be more important than food, but
Jungkook is adamant on food, which it’s hard to fault him for.

Eventually, Jungkook is freed. Jimin hasn’t changed out of his pajamas yet so he disappears
into the bathroom, despite offering to change in front of the both of them.
“Call it an early birthday present,” Jimin says.

“I can’t with you, Jimin,” Taehyung shakes his head. Literally no one else but he and
Jungkook should ever be allowed to touch him. He feels very proprietary over Jimin right
now and he won’t be able to choke it down.

Taehyung has to put makeup on his neck thanks to Jimin.

They all head downstairs at around the same time, so there’s no denying that they were with
each other all day, not like anyone really doubted that. Dinner smells like heaven, which isn’t
too out of normal because Seokjin is cooking. He’s very calmly explaining to Namjoon how
to chop different vegetables while Namjoon somehow manages to fail even with the step-by-
step guidance. “It’s okay, Joon,” he says calmly. The tone of his voice is so kind that
everyone wishes they were Namjoon for a brief second. D and S, both baby eaters, are off in
the living room watching TV while everyone else, including M, are in the kitchen at least
offering moral support if not personally helping. Hoseok doesn’t need to be sitting that close
to Yoongi at the counter.

“I haven’t seen any of you all day, what’s up?” Namjoon asks when the three of them enter
the kitchen. Seokjin raises his eyebrow at Namjoon, silently telling him he’s an idiot.
Namjoon’s eyes widen and then he nods. “Dinner should be ready soon.” Seokjin gives him
an okay sign with his fingers and Namjoon smiles back at him.

There’s not enough seating around the breakfast bar so the three of them just lean against
whatever counter space is free. Hoseok is right next to Taehyung and smiles at his best friend.
You could do anything to Taehyung right now and it would bounce right off of him because
he’s radiating such happiness that Hoseok could have only ever dreamed for him. He
analyses him and then puts his thumb on the discolored spot on his neck. The makeup looks
especially ridiculous on Taehyung because he’s quite a bit tanner than Jimin who he
borrowed the cover up from.

“You having a good day, Jimin?” Hoseok asks, looking over at him. Jimin shows him his
teeth cheerfully.

Dinner passes by quickly. Jungkook eats more food than it looks like his body should be
capable of accommodating, but it goes down anyway. Yoongi is convinced he has a portal to
another dimension in his stomach.

Yoongi and Hoseok are relishing in a lot of different things right now. The fact that they
made out for the first-time last night is among those things. Also, because they made out this
morning for a little while. Also, because Yoongi spent the whole day giving interviews about
Hoseok, and talking about Hoseok is his second favorite thing to do, short of talking to
Hoseok. He didn’t just give interviews to TB BWBB SK OTC LC cameras either; he was
also interviewed by a news site. Now to be fair, Yoongi didn’t recognize the name of the
news site, but the fact that the news wanted to interview him seems like a sign that the ratings
for the show are high. He tried to pry information out of his interviewer: what does the
country think of me? am I likeable? can you tell I’m in love with Hoseok? but she must have
been sworn to secrecy because the only outside information he gathered from her was that
she thought he was cute. He doesn’t need a news lady to tell him that, he already knows he’s
cute.

Those are all good reasons to be positive today, but right now, the thing on both his and
Hoseok’s mind is the way that those three are looking at each other. Jungkook looks
squirrely, Taehyung looks giggly, and Jimin looks proud. You don’t need to play a guessing
game to determine what transpired while they were upstairs in a room for six hours. Hoseok
wonders if they had sex, but with Jungkook amongst them, his suspicion is that they didn’t.

“I’m really going to miss eating your food every day, Seokjin,” Taehyung shakes his head.
Namjoon nods in agreement. People give him sideways glares because why would Namjoon
have to worry about not eating Seokjin’s food? Lucky bastard, he gets to keep Seokjin. Or at
least, he gets to keep Seokjin if he grows a pair and steps up to the plate.

“I am a good cook,” Yoongi says quietly but defensively into his plate. Hoseok nudges him
teasingly. He is pretty decent and so is Hoseok, even if they both like to pretend they’re not.
Hoseok is excited to dig into the kimchi they made to make a meal. He’s also excited by
getting Yoongi alone to make out with him later, even if it’s in a broom closet.

“Someday I’ll probably open a restaurant,” Seokjin says. “Right after I win an Oscar, that is.”

“Don’t you have to be talented to win an Oscar?” Jimin asks. Seokjin throws food at him.

“I act all the time when I pretend to like you, don’t I?” he retorts. Jimin looks scandalized but
Jungkook’s little laugh breaks the act easily. Literally everyone in the world gets a little weak
kneed around Jungkook, and his cute laugh doesn’t help.

After dinner, Jungkook, Jimin, and Taehyung do the dishes because they didn’t help make
food. Jimin rinses, Taehyung washes, Jungkook dries. Like a little assembly line. Taehyung
hums a song and the other two harmonize with him.

“Are you sure you don’t want to play a game with us, guys?” Yoongi asks M, S, and D. M
declines politely because he’s tired, while D and S roll their eyes and go back to the couch to
finish whatever they were watching before dinner. Some people never change.

“Prettiest gets to pick the game,” Seokjin says.

“Guess that’ll be me then,” Hoseok replies, immediately walking into the game room to look
at the shelves.

“Hey, I said prettiest! Get out of my way,” Seokjin runs after him.

“Exactly! You said prettiest, not handsomest. I’m definitely the prettiest.”

“Prettiest?” Jimin hears, the pads of his fingers have turned into raisins because of the water.
“Hey guys I’m kind of busy right now, one of you will have to pick the game.”

“I’m also too busy,” Taehyung calls out. Jungkook’s laugh is like a little fairy.
Namjoon and Yoongi stare at each other. Neither of them has any intention of contributing
anything to this debate. Despite Yoongi knowing for a fact that Hoseok is the prettiest, it’s a
battle that he’s going to have to fight on his own.

“Hoseok, I’m taller than you,” Seokjin says.

“Yeah, but that makes me harder to catch.”

“My elbows are pointier,” Seokjin says.

“Bring it on, Jin.” Then Hoseok yelps and the thunderous sounds of a chase comes from the
open door of the game room. Now this is something that Yoongi would like to see, so he
walks over to find Seokjin chasing him around the room like they’re two little kids playing
tag. Hoseok ends up hiding under the ping pong table. Seokjin’s elbows are a weapon not to
be underestimated.

“Well since you’re busy hiding, that means I get to pick the game,” Seokjin says
triumphantly.

“Ah, balls.”

Yoongi goes to help him out from under the table so that he doesn’t bump his head, and
whispers to him, “you’re still the prettiest to me.” Hoseok’s cheeks have the slightest bit of
pink to them, but this could be due to the fact that he was chased around the room several
times. He considers kissing Yoongi, but he doesn’t really want to do that in front of Namjoon
and Seokjin. Apparently, choosing a game is a joint decision between the two of them.

“That looks like it has too many instructions,” Seokjin shakes his head. “Contrary to popular
belief, I’m not that smart.”

“I think you’re very smart,” Namjoon says. Hoseok mimes gagging and Yoongi laughs.

Despite Seokjin winning the who’s prettiest game of tag, he abdicated the choice of game to
Namjoon. They settle on a game that Namjoon has played before so he will be able to explain
the instructions. Originally, they were going to play the game at the dining room table, but D
and S are out there on the couch, so they instead all find seats on the floor. Everyone
crisscrosses their legs except Jimin who lies on his stomach and holds himself up on his
elbows. Once again, Hoseok does not need to be sitting so close to Yoongi. Namjoon could
certainly sit closer to Seokjin.

Hoseok drifts in and out of focus as Namjoon explains the game. He’s a little preoccupied
with looking at Yoongi next to him. Yoongi is looking at a deck of cards in his hand trying to
understand both what Namjoon is saying and what the cards have written on them. Hoseok
hears words like “dice” and “draw” and “gold” but it’s all a bit fuzzy. He’ll just learn by
observation and hope he doesn’t have the first turn. Yoongi looks stunning when he’s
concentrating. His eyebrows come together and his face slouches up a bit while he shoulders
tense. Hoseok could sit and watch Yoongi read an instructions manual.

“Now I’m wishing we had chosen monopoly,” Jungkook sighs.

“Just three more pages,” Namjoon says, holding up the magazine sized instructions booklet.
No instructions should take more than two or three pages in total, if you ask Hoseok.

Jimin has graduated to using Taehyung’s thigh as a pillow and Jungkook’s lap as a footrest.
He really does just view people as things to give him cuddles and that’s special.

“Alright, any questions?”

“I’m sorry I wasn’t paying attention, I got lost in your eyes,” Seokjin says. It’s a joke but
Namjoon looks like he might faint.

“Let’s just play and hope for the best,” Yoongi says. “By the way, I don’t know how to
shuffle.” Jungkook holds his hands out and it’s impossible for anyone in the circle to look
away from Jungkook’s pretty tattooed hands as he shuffles the cards. Even blissfully in love
Hoseok gulps slightly at how nimble his long fingers are. Jungkook deals the cards out to
everyone and then looks up, proud of himself. Jungkook is totally unaware that six people
just stopped breathing for a solid minute because of him.

Namjoon starts them off. It’s hard to say whether he has a good first turn or not, because no
one knows what’s going on. He takes cards, he moves things on the game board below him.
Then he turns and looks at Seokjin to go next. He blinks and does pretty much the exact same
thing as Namjoon.

Hoseok frowns at a card in his hand and shows it to Yoongi as someone else takes their turn.
“What does this mean?”

“I think it’s an action card.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means you perform an action.”

“But isn’t playing any card an action?”

“Well there are action cards, defense cards, and obstacle cards,” Yoongi replies.

“How can you tell it’s an action card?”

“It says action on the top,” Yoongi says. Hoseok gives him an “ooh” and then waits for his
turn.

“Oh man we should have just played bingo,” Jimin shakes his head. The way he’s holding the
cards in his hand, Taehyung can see all of them, but it’s not like that gives him a competitive
advantage. Namjoon and Jungkook are the only ones who appear to know how to play, but
Yoongi is picking it up steadily. “Hard to mess up at Bingo. B7: either you’ve got it, or you
don’t. That’s the kind of brain power I’m capable of.”

Yoongi is the last person to get a turn around the circle, and he at least has a basic grasp of
what he’s doing. Hoseok’s eyes filter into pink. His boyfriend is so smart.
“I like games that require skill,” Jungkook says. “Bingo is all luck; I don’t like my fate being
up in the air instead of in my hands.”

“Jungkookie is very competitive,” Taehyung explains.

Even though only two or three of them understand the game, spending time with the seven of
them all together like this is the second-best thing Hoseok has felt throughout the entire
course of this show. Second of course to Yoongi’s tongue down his throat last night.

At some point, Hoseok gives up on trying to understand and lets Yoongi play his hand for
him. He points to a card, Hoseok plays it. He tells him to move a piece on the board, he does
it. Normally, Hoseok doesn’t let people tell him what to do, but it’s too late in the game for
him to ask Namjoon to explain it again. It’s probably cheating, and he wonders if Yoongi is
just using Hoseok to get his own way in the game. This is almost definitely the case when
Yoongi starts winning.

“Like fluently?” Jimin asks.

“Mostly fluently,” Namjoon nods.

“That’s so much work,” Taehyung looks almost incredulous because he can barely speak the
one language he’s learned from birth.

“Say something in English!”

“Something in English,” Namjoon says, in English. Seokjin already knew he was fluent
because he’s asked Namjoon to speak English several times. He finds it sexy. He still does.
Seokjin frowns slightly when he looks at how comfortable Jimin is with his head on
Taehyung’s thigh whereas he can’t even brush hands with Namjoon without it feeling like
they’re both about to combust. Then there’s Hoseok who is doing his best attempt at not
sitting on Yoongi’s lap.

What is this scene going to look like to viewers at home? They’ll just see Jimin staking claim
on two boys, Hoseok and Yoongi casually flirting, and then Seokjin and Namjoon either
trying to pretend the other doesn’t exist or trying to pretend no one but the two of them exist.

“I’m getting the alcohol, this is unbearable,” Jimin says eventually.

“We can play a different game if you’re really not enjoying-” Namjoon looks sad.

“No, I have to win,” Jungkook shakes his head. Namjoon is too diplomatic to say he wants to
finish the game, but he’s thankful for Jungkook’s words anyway.

Yoongi shrugs, because he’s very clearly winning. He would not be winning if Hoseok knew
how to play, but he’s enjoying using him as a patsy.

Jimin disappears to get alcohol. His hands are small, so he has to make two trips. He puts the
bottles in front of himself and makes the quintessential joke that all seven bottles of beer are
for him.
“I always get so tired when I drink,” Hoseok shakes his head. “It’s like my personality is
already too much so alcohol just dampens me down.”

“When you’re drunk, you look like your face is a magnet and every surface is metal,” Seokjin
comments. He’s seen him drunk once, but it was memorable. Namely because Taehyung had
to half-drag and half-carry him up the stairs, while Hoseok groaned the entire way.

“I think I’ll just pass for the night,” he shrugs, and Jimin accepts the extra beer as his own.

In all fairness, it does become more interesting when people start getting tipsy. As little as he
is, Jimin can hold his alcohol. Hoseok is the only one sober while he gets to watch his friends
turn into drastically stranger people. Taehyung’s a lightweight, he starts getting very
emotional after a beer and a half. Jungkook’s face turns cherry red and he gets excited by
everything around him. His eyes are so curious and interested in everything, and somehow,
his gameplay is only heightened. Namjoon gets louder but otherwise stays the same. Seokjin
cracks more jokes and they are far worse than normal, but he thinks they are the funniest
thing of all time. And his Yoongi might as well not even be drinking anything at all with how
little effect it has on him.

“You know, on hard alcohol, not on this 5% bullshit, I become a stripper,” Yoongi informs
him quietly while Seokjin tells the others a joke.

Hoseok blinks at him. “You’re going to have to explain further.”

“Like, I just, I don’t know… I just take my clothes off. Don’t know why it happens. Maybe I
overheat? Maybe I just become very self-confident. Either way, it’s happened more than
once. My roommates in college have a video of it. I try to avoid drinking hard alcohol unless
I’m at home nowadays, because I don’t really want to see a picture of myself half-naked on
the internet when I’m older.”

“You… of all the things I’ve learned about you, Yoongi, that’s super fucking weird.”

“You have to accept me as I am. Oh boy, you should see me on a few glasses of whiskey,”
Yoongi says. He probably wouldn’t be saying this out loud if he wasn’t a little bit buzzed, but
then again, he tells Hoseok pretty much anything.

“Make sure I’m the only one who sees you on a few glasses of whiskey, okay?” Hoseok says,
because he doesn’t want anyone else to look at his Yoongi besides him.

“Jimin-ah you’re so pretty,” Taehyung says. “You’re so cute. Did you know you’re cute?
Your hair is so nice, it looks like candy.”

The only sign that Jimin is inebriated is that he’s a flush pink to match his hair. He pats
Taehyung on the head with a “thanks, Tae.”

“Jungkook,” Taehyung says, turning his attention to his other boyfriend. “Your face is
perfect. You have a perfect face. If I had to sculpt a perfect face, I would sculpt your face.”
When Taehyung and Jimin stop caring about the game, or maybe when the alcohol bars them
from being able to pretend they ever did, they play rock, paper, scissors between themselves.
Hoseok has also mostly stepped out of the game, to watch Jungkook, Seokjin, Yoongi, and
Namjoon go at it. Obviously, he still lets Yoongi tell him what to do, because this is a boy
who he will gladly perform a jewel heist with if he asks kindly enough, so cheating at a board
game is a no brainer.

Hoseok volunteers to stand up to get the next round, because he’s the only one who’s not
invested in something else. There are only four bottles left, because whoever stocks the
refrigerator prioritized vegetables and meat over alcohol. He grabs the bottles and brings
them back.

When he returns, Taehyung has switched around to have his head in Jimin’s lap, as opposed
to the other way around. Taehyung is touching Jimin's face with fascination. He also notices
that Namjoon and Seokjin have scoot closer together by as much as an inch and a half. Still
enough space for Jesus to sit between them, but it’s a step in the right direction.

“What the fuck?” Jimin asks, very upset. He’s on his third beer, unless you count the one he
finished for Taehyung. So, three and a half. They’re all drinking at slightly different rates,
Jimin is fast, whereas Jungkook labors over his second. The game has gone on for well past
an hour and in that time, Yoongi has had three. Hoseok has licked his lips with desire every
time Yoongi presses his mouth to the bottle instead of to Hoseok’s mouth.

“You guys drank them all,” he shrugs. It does feel like watching a circus act when he sees
Jimin’s grumpy lip.

Within ten minutes, Hoseok can feel the circus really coming to life. The last bottles are split
between them, Taehyung tapped out after one and a half, and Yoongi declines because he’s
going to win this game goddammit. Even if it’s just to spite Jungkook, he needs to win. He’s
put in too much effort cheating to not win.

“This is the last round,” Namjoon says, as if anyone but Jungkook and Yoongi even care.

“We should’ve played Twister. I’m so flexible,” Jimin says, excitedly stretching his legs and
almost kicking Jungkook in the face.

“You’re so cute,” Taehyung chants. “Jimin is so cute. Jungkook is so cute.”

“You’re drunk, Tae,” Jimin says, lovingly.

“I’m drunk.”

Hoseok whispers to Yoongi, “you’re not about to start taking off your clothes, are you?”

“Only if you take them off for me,” he responds and he fucking winks.

“Oh no, you’re drunk too,” Hoseok says.

Yoongi laughs and then shakes his head. He’s just messing around, but also, it’s true. He
would like it if Hoseok took off his clothes. And if Hoseok also took off his clothes. But he’d
really prefer that they were alone. Actually, that’s not a preference, that’s a requirement.
Yoongi is a little bit drunk.

“Is it over yet?” Seokjin asks.

“It’s my turn, and then Yoongi has the last turn,” Jungkook says.

“I’m leading by like ten points, what are you going to do, Jungkook?”

“Do you want me to cheat for you?” Taehyung whispers incredibly loudly. “We should’ve
played Twister, Jimin is so flexible.”

Jungkook takes his turn while Taehyung looks up at Jimin from his lap. “I love you Jimin,
you’re so nice.”

“Thank you, Taehyung,” he says, patting his head again.

“I love you, Jungkook,” he pulls himself up just enough to see Jungkook’s face. “I’m so
happy you’re my boyfriend.”

Hoseok puts his face in his hands, not sure if he’s embarrassed for Taehyung or amused. He
sighs, then stands up. “Alright Taehyung, time for you to go to bed.” He attempts to return
the favor from when Taehyung brought him upstairs that one time, but Taehyung becomes a
whole rock when he tries to pull him off of Jimin.

“I love Jimin,” he looks so fondly at Jimin that it almost breaks Hoseok’s heart.

“Up you get,” he says, finally managing to get Taehyung onto his ass rather than his back.

Jungkook is distracted by Taehyung and doesn’t notice Yoongi once again cheating. He’s
going to lose anyway, so it doesn’t matter. “Here, I got him.” Jungkook stands up and then
immediately lifts Taehyung up like a sack of potatoes. He gets Taehyung into a fireman’s lift
which is both impressive and hot.

“Wow, am I out of shape or is Jungkook Superman?”

“Both.”

“I love Jungkook,” Taehyung puts his hand on Jungkook’s face. “Prince Charming.”

“See you later,” Jungkook says, carrying Taehyung out of the room carefully so that he
doesn’t hit any dangling limbs on the doorframe. Jimin follows not too long after them,
giving a bright smile and a wave. He’s drunk too, but he walks in a straight line out of the
door.

“I won. I guess I’ll have to pester him tomorrow that he lost,” Yoongi says, looking down at
the board.

“I’m tired,” Seokjin says shortly. Part of Seokjin’s spirit has left his body, but there’s not a
doubt in anyone’s mind that if you ask him, he will tell you a joke and then inflate his entire
body to make the joke better.

“I want fried chicken.” Namjoon’s face looks so sad right now. He really wants fried chicken.
There’s nothing in the world he wants more than fried chicken, except for the man right next
to him. He wants Seokjin and fried chicken.

“I want to go to bed,” Seokjin announces, and looks at Namjoon. They look at each other like
zombies in love. Seokjin eventually stands up. He wobbles a little bit, but he doesn’t fall
down.

“You two go to bed, I’ll help Yoongi put away the game,” Hoseok tells them. Namjoon
double checks to make sure Hoseok is okay with putting the game away and he nods. The
very second that the two of them disappear out of the door, Yoongi smashes his lips against
Hoseok’s angrily. His breath tastes like beer and he breathes heavily through his nose as he
kisses him.

“Yoongi,” Hoseok says, pushing him off gently. “Not while, you’re drunk, okay?” He’d love
to kiss him for longer, but he doesn’t really do the making out with drunk people thing.

“Mmph,” Yoongi says, crossing his arms. “Fine.”

“Help me put away the game and I’ll give you a goodnight kiss.”

“Cheek? Head? Lips? How many seconds are we talking? Five? Ten?”

“It depends on whether you put the cards in the box the right way,” Hoseok says. He wants to
leave the box the way they found it, even if this game disrespected him with it’s too many
instructions.

“My spatial reasoning skills are at zero right now,” he holds out his hand and then stares at it
for a really long time. “So is my depth perception.”

“Just turn the cards the right way then,” he says. Hoseok demonstrates by showing him the
front side of the cards and then the back.

“Got it, boss,” Yoongi nods. His voice and tone don’t sound drunk, but his eyes and face do.
What might ordinarily take two minutes to put away becomes about ten, because Yoongi
keeps putting cards the wrong way, and then dropping them and not being able to pick them
back up because they’re too thin and cling to the board. Yoongi gives up and then rests his
head on Hoseok’s shoulder. He touches his face to make sure Hoseok is real. When he is real,
he smiles fondly at him.

Finally, Hoseok is able to put the game away into the cabinet and goes back to retrieve his
Yoongi. He looks very upset with the carpet, like they had an argument. Yoongi doesn’t need
help up, but he is thankful to have Hoseok’s arm to lean up against for support anyway.

“Listen, I’m not Taehyung,” Yoongi says, “But you are really goddamn beautiful, Hoseok.”

“Yes, I am, Yoongi.”

 The ascent up the stairs is easy, because Yoongi really isn’t terrible on his feet. When they
reach the top, Hoseok hates that they have to part ways again. He doesn’t like having to let go
of Yoongi. His Yoongi. It seems to him like they should be going to the same bed every night.
Not for any dirty reasons, not inherently, he just knows for a fact that the two of them are
supposed to share a bed, share body heat, share everything.

“You promised me a goodnight kiss,” Yoongi says. There are sounds of life and laughing
coming from the closed doors on this floor. Jimin sounds like he’s having the time of his life
from inside his room.

“I did,” he agrees. Yoongi thinks that they’re going to have a real kiss, but Hoseok just kisses
him on the cheek and pulls away. “Goodnight, Yoongi.”

He pouts and sighs. Hoseok takes a few steps back. He’s not going to leave him until he sees
that Yoongi makes it up the stairs safely, but he’s not going to give him anything else, and
Yoongi sighs. He would really love to take Hoseok up to his room right now and do
unspeakable things to him. If he had had half a bottle more, he definitely would have let his
inner stripper out.

“Goodnight, Hoseok,” he sighs, and makes his way up the stairs. Hoseok watches him go.
He’s very much in love with Yoongi. He wishes they could kiss for longer, but Yoongi would
wake up to regret it. Maybe not because of Hoseok, but because there are cameras watching
him. Best to just not kiss drunk people, for all of the reasons above.

When he’s out of ear shot, Hoseok says under his breath, “I love you, Yoongi. You dumbass.”

His room is dark when he opens the door, and he sees all three of its inhabitants already
asleep. Taehyung is in Hoseok’s bed rather than his own. Jungkook probably didn’t want to
risk putting him in the top bunk. Hoseok doesn’t mind too terribly. Jungkook had the
forethought to make sure Taehyung sleeps on his side, and his hair is pushed back to show off
his wonderful face. He also put Taehyung under the covers, but under his head is Hoseok’s
pillow, the one he brought from home. The pillow itself isn’t inherently special, but it’s a
little piece of his real life that makes him less homesick. He grabs Taehyung’s pillow from
the top bunk and swaps them out Indiana Jones style.

After changing and brushing his teeth, Hoseok climbs up into the top bunk and smiles.
Everything is falling into place. Yoongi is falling in love with him. Taehyung has his two
boyfriends. Namjoon’s confession has to be just around the corner. Soon, the show will be
over, and he’ll get to have a real life with the boy he loves. Hoseok falls asleep gently to
Yoongi’s name on his lips.

Chapter End Notes

So, the next three or four chapters of this fic have already been written which means you
should be seeing one update a week for the next month! Your comment prompt for today
is to tell me what your favorite board game is (if you don't have one then do video game
instead). My favorite games are Betrayal at House on the Hill and Bunny Kingdom!
 FLUFF
Chapter Summary

This is a really long chapter, but I promise you it's worth it.

Chapter Notes

This chapter was completely an accident. Don't know how it happened, it just did. You
might be wondering, "Helena, how do you accidentally write a 10,000 word chapter?"
Well, the better question would be how I wrote a 16,000 word chapter and then had to
divide it into two chapters because 16,000 words is too long for a single update. The
world works in mysterious ways.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

{{

(The Bachelor: Boys Will Be Boys SK Interview Park Jimin #18)

I was really glad that I got a rose at the ceremony tonight, but I will admit, I’m starting to get
worried about what comes next. There’s only seven of us left now, excluding Yoongi, which
means that by the end of this week, it’ll only be five of us. It’s all happening so soon. I’m
worried… well I have a feeling I’m going home at the end of the week [he sighs, looking
sad].

I think that I’m going home this week. I feel pretty confident in it, actually. I’m trying not to
think about it, because it’s sad. It’s not sad because- [laughing] because I think Yoongi is the
one… none of us are under that impression except Hoseok. It’s just that, no group of guys
have ever been so close on this show before. I mean that very literally.

It’s safe to say that our version of The Bachelor is quite a bit different than any other version
of this show that’s ever been done, because we’re all attracted to the same gender. Like, on
the American version, it’s one guy and twenty girls, and as far as I know, they’re all straight,
never even a bisexual thrown in for the diversity. Though it would be fun if the girls fell in
love with each other more often. I think it happened once, but it would be great if it happened
more. But then here’s our show and it went in the exact same direction that you’d expect it
to…

So anyway, I’m falling in love. I came onto this show thinking I was here for Yoongi, but it
turns out I’m going to leave this show with four best friends and two people I will devote my
 life to if they let me.

I know how this show ends. It ends with Yoongi running off into the sunset with Hoseok, and
I’m happy that that’s the end, because it’s the ending that they deserve. But I just wish I
didn’t have to go home. I want to stay here in this little bubble forever. I want to exit the real
world and just be here, in this house, with my friends. I just want to play games, watch
movies, eat good food. It’s depressing that I have to face going back to normal, and I say that
as someone who loves my job. I just like this extended vacation where I get to fall in love,
and have people fall in love with me. As soon as I get to live outside with the boys I like, I
think I’ll look back on this place as stifling, but I’m comfortable right now.

[Looking around] I’m going to miss this place. I had so many good weeks here. I know it’s
been stressful for some people, but I’ve enjoyed my time.

But anyway… I’m really happy [A smile so pure that God himself sheds a tear].

**Notes from the director: I’m never doing reality TV again. My hair is falling out. It’s stress,
that’s what it is. I’m stressed. I can’t believe this is the fifth most watched show in the world
right now. I just wanted to have a calm, relaxing show, this is just getting out of hand. We
weren’t supposed to be green lit for a second season, you know that? This show was supposed
to be a catastrophe, that’s why Min Yoongi of all people was cast as the Bachelor. At first, I
thought he really was going to ruin the show when he zeroed in on one person in week one,
but then the world decided they liked that. Is everyone stupid? I need a drink.

}}

Hoseok is shaken awake gently at what feels like the middle of the night. He isn’t really
aware of it happening until he’s conscious and trying to blink in the darkness of the room.
“Huh?” he says softly but a finger is pressed to his lips. He attempts to open his eyes and has
to rub a little sleep out of them. The only light in the room is coming from the LED display
of the alarm clock across the room, but it’s enough to give away the identity of the man who
just woke him up. Or, more accurately, his white hair gives him away.

“Yoongi?” he whispers quietly.

Yoongi presses his finger to his mouth again and in the dark, Hoseok is just able to see him
make a gesture for him to get out of bed.

He doesn’t even question it. Hoseok pulls himself up and stretches his arms the slightest bit
before he follows Yoongi out through the bedroom door.

“Yoongi?”

“Shh,” he says once they’re in the relative safety of the hallway.

“What are you doing?” he asks. His eyes are struggling to open in the dim light from the
hallway. His hair must look ridiculous but Yoongi doesn’t say anything, just grabs the sides
of his face and kisses him delicately. He doesn’t know at what point during the night your
toothpastey mouth turns into morning breath. The clock had read a little past 2:00 in the
morning, so either his breath still smells like mint or it tastes like the fires of hell. There are
cameras stationed above them in the second-floor hallway, but it’s dark enough that it’ll
probably be hard to see the two of them. Hoseok is too tired and high on Yoongi to care.

Yoongi kisses him for years. He’s not really awake, but he knows he’s enjoying it. He puts
either of his hands on Yoongi’s hips, feels Yoongi’s arms around his head. When the need to
breathe reaches its breaking point, he pulls away and presses his head against Yoongi’s
forehead. He keeps his eyes closed and just lets them stand like this for a moment. With this
posture, it almost seems like they’re about to slow dance. He wouldn’t mind that. Slow
dancing is not really Hoseok’s expertise, but he’ll give it a go.

“I couldn’t get to sleep,” Yoongi says.

Hoseok nods lightly, still pressed against Yoongi’s forehead.

“Couldn’t stop thinking about you,” he says.

“I was thinking about you too,” Hoseok says. He recalls a brief snippet of the dream he was
having. He’s sure he saw Yoongi in it, but that’s the most he’ll be able to bring up in his
groggy state.

“You and I are going to run away,” Yoongi tells him. They’re still whispering, but Hoseok’s
eyes open and he pulls back just a little bit at those words so that he can see Yoongi’s face.

“Run away?”

“Only for a few hours,” Yoongi says. “We’ll be back before morning.”

“Okay,” he nods, not even considering saying no. Why would he say no to time with Yoongi?
Even if his bones are achingly tired, which they are because he was ripped out of sleep.
“Where are we going?”

“I saw a park about a mile from here,” Yoongi says. “Is that okay?”

“Absolutely,” Hoseok nods. He’s ready to leave the house right now. Hell, if Yoongi wanted
to run away and not come back, he’d be okay with that too. “Just let me grab my shoes,
okay?”

Yoongi nods, but it takes several minutes for them to break away from each other. Hoseok
kisses him like they have all the time in the world. With Yoongi, he does. Eventually, he’s
able to muster up enough willpower to pull Yoongi off of him. Yoongi sighs and stays still in
the hallway as Hoseok goes back into his room. He quickly throws on a hoodie, grabs his
shoes from under the bed, and then a pair of socks from his drawer. He doesn’t check to see if
the socks match. Still in his pajamas, he makes his way back out to Yoongi.

He actually takes him in for the first time since Yoongi woke him up. He’s in his pajamas too,
no shoes because he must have left them by the door downstairs. Yoongi’s hair looks nice and
Hoseok can’t stop himself from combing his fingers through it. Finally, fresh hair with no
product in it. He can and will get very used to his hair like this.
“Come on,” Yoongi says, pausing only for a moment. They make their way downstairs, and
Hoseok stops at the bottom step to pull his socks and shoes on.

They quickly make their way out into the night. Yoongi’s kisses have made him as alert as
three cups of coffee. Once they’re outside, he’s sure he can see miles ahead of him. He’s been
given some sort of superpower to see even in the night. The air is warm, even for a summer
night like this one. Yoongi takes ahold of his hand, and they only run for as long as it takes to
be away from the house itself. The driveway is just way too long and grand. Hoseok looks
back at it, this is the furthest he’s ever been from it on foot. The house is way too big. He
doesn’t think he’d ever want to live in a house that big. It’s great for its purpose, but he’d get
lonely in a place that big, even if he shared it with Yoongi. When they adopt kids they’ll
upsize, but not into any house quite that size.

“It’s nice out,” Yoongi says, leading the way because Hoseok doesn’t actually know where
they’re going.

“Almost a full moon,” Yoongi points up at the sky. It’s certainly beautiful up there, not a
cloud in sight to cover up the bright light of it. The brightness of the moon is a mercy,
because they don’t have flashlights or lampposts on the side of the road to guide them, since
they’re in the middle of mostly undisturbed land. There must be some houses up along this
road, though, if Yoongi saw a park there.

“Not quite time for me to turn into a werewolf,” he says.

“Oh, you’re a werewolf too?” he asks. “How convenient. That’ll make our relationship less
awkward.”

Hoseok stops in his tracks just for a moment, pulling on Yoongi’s hand as he continues to
walk. Yoongi is jolted backwards into a kiss so hard that his feet nearly give way underneath
him. He can’t believe how quiet the night is. There’s a steady hum of cricket sounds and the
slightest barely-there whisper of a breeze. Apart from that, it’s just the two of them breathing
against one another’s lips. Hoseok could get used to a world where there isn’t a city around
them. But he also can’t imagine anything more wonderful than a balcony or terrace of their
own with city sounds below them as they kiss like this.

Maybe he doesn’t want a big house, but they can have two little ones once they’re both rich
and famous. They’ll have an apartment high up in the city so that they can look out at
everything. And then a small cabin by a lake where they can sit by the fireplace and watch
movies wrapped up in a King-size blanket.

When they pull away, Yoongi almost tells him he loves him. The word is close to his tongue,
but he lets it dissolve before he actually says it out loud. Right now would be a perfect time
to say it, he knows it would. But it’s so soon. They’ve only known each other for like five or
six weeks now and what if Hoseok isn’t there yet? He wants them to go on this adventure to
the park, and he doesn’t want to risk it by saying the big word.

Hoseok goes through the same thought process.

“Lead the way, pretty boy,” Hoseok says quietly. Yoongi giggles. He holds Hoseok’s hand
still and they walk in stride along the road. They’re about the same height so their pace is
about equal. Hoseok looks down at their matching shoes and he smiles at how ridiculous
these shoes are. They’re starting to grow on him, and even Yoongi doesn’t hate them as much
as he once did.

“You know, I could be leading you away from the mansion to viciously murder you, right?”
Yoongi jokes.

Hoseok shrugs, “eh. I’ve sorted the pros and the cons. If you do murder me at least I got a
few kisses out of the deal. I think they’ll probably figure out it was you, considering the
house is all wired up.”

“True,” Yoongi nods. “So that means you can’t murder me either, Seok.”

“Ah well, there’s always next time,” he shrugs. Yoongi squeezes his hand and gives him a
cute gummy smile that is impossible to fake. Sometimes you can tell a smile is pulled out of
someone intentionally; they want to show off their teeth. Then, there are times where the
smile is belly deep. There’s no way to force it off your face no matter what you do. Hoseok
has felt that way ever since Yoongi first kissed him. The two of them constantly smile so
much it makes their faces hurt, which is unusual for Yoongi. Maybe not so much for Hoseok,
but usually, you need to get him laughing in order for his cheeks to hurt. All Yoongi needs to
do is breathe and Hoseok soars.

Even though the night is devoid of life, they keep their voices down as they walk. There are
no signs that any car will pass by here for the next two days, let alone while they monopolize
the road.

Yoongi tells him all about recording and producing his mixtape and Hoseok listens in
fascination. He can’t believe how much work and effort he put into the thing. Hoseok can
barely figure out how to add tracks to a Spotify playlist, but here’s Yoongi composing a
whole album almost completely by himself.

“Are you going to write a song about me on the next one?” Hoseok teases.

Yoongi gets quiet and Hoseok looks over at him to see the slightest bit of pink in his cheeks.

“Wait seriously?” he asks. Hoseok’s entire world begins to rotate the opposite direction. A
song. Written about him. By Yoongi. He’s pretty sure he could lift an entire bus right now if
he gave it a go.

“I’ve got a few ideas.”

“Yoongi,” he says cutely, bumping his shoulder slightly.

“A little while ago you said you could see yourself trying to rap someday. Maybe I’ll even let
you give it a try on D-2.” Hoseok’s heart bangs loudly at the fact that Yoongi has already
named it. God, he loves this boy.
“I don’t know if you want that, I’ve never even really tried.”

“I’ll help you, don’t worry.”

“I’ll probably make a pretty big idiot of myself,” Hoseok says.

“No one will hear it but me if it’s really bad. We’ll practice. I’ll even do my best not to make
fun of you.”

Hoseok laughs louder than he expects to. “Aw thanks, Yoongi.”

It’s about a twenty-minute walk to the park. Hoseok doesn’t have a watch, a phone, or
anything else that could tell him the time, but he doesn’t care. Time doesn’t exist when he’s
with Yoongi.

It’s sort of a dinky little thing. There’s a small basketball court, the hoop is certainly not
regulation height. A jungle gym, a set of swings, monkey bars that they’re both too tall for.
The ground on the playground is this weird spongey material meant to mimic grass but it’s
too bright of a color. It won’t make their expensive matching shoes dirty, though, and that’s
what counts. There’s one streetlamp to light the whole playground and it’s doing its best, but
you can’t expect a whole lot from the poor thing. They both instinctively go for the swings
like a silent agreement.

“I bet I can swing higher than you can,” Hoseok says.

“Uh, fuck you. Have you seen these calf muscles?”

“I look at them a lot, Yoongi.”

“Well let’s just see who can get higher then,” Yoongi says. They both take a swing, and it
hurts Yoongi’s hips a little bit because his ass was not made for a swing this size. It’s been a
really long time since he last sat on a swing, probably since he was a little kid, and it breaks
his heart a little bit to know that it’s not the exact same as it was back then. Yoongi doesn’t
want to go back to being a ten year old kid by any means, but he wishes that the swing didn’t
hurt his hips the way it does now. His feet didn’t used to touch the ground when he was a
little kid, so he had to jump onto swings. Now, the ground is too close to his feet.

He doesn’t like this new knowledge that he’s too big to do things he used to enjoy. He
probably wouldn’t fit down the tunnel slide very well, because he’s about half of its height.
Even though he isn’t a very tall person, the monkey bars are also a no go. It’s a simple luxury
to be small enough to play on a playground. You don’t know you’re losing anything, because
you want to feel like an adult so you pretend you’re too mature for it for so long. Then you
finally realize the fun you’re missing out on and it’s too late.

Hoseok looks over at him to notice that he hasn’t started swinging yet. Yoongi is looking
sadly at the ground and he leans over on his swing to kiss his cheek. Back when Hoseok was
in grade school, kids would get whistled at the instant they tried to move sideways on a
swing. If they got caught doing it more than once they weren’t allowed on the swing for the
rest of recess. There are no teachers to blow their whistles at him now, though.
“Hey, what’s up?” he says.

Yoongi looks up from the ground and then smiles. “I don’t know, nothing really. Just
remembered what it was like being a kid. I wish my life was that easy again. We didn’t have
a lot of money when I was a kid, but I was too young to realize that. Now I’m all grown up
and I’m aware that I don’t have money but there’s nowhere I can hide to forget about it.”

“Tell me what kind of kid you were,” Hoseok says.

Yoongi shrugs. “I was kind of hyperactive to start off. I mellowed out by about age 12, but
before that, I don’t think I knew what sleepiness was. I probably could’ve stayed awake for
four days straight. I wasn’t the smartest kid in class, but I wasn’t the dumbest either.”

“Were you the kid who had lots of friends?”

Yoongi snorts, “No, do I look like I was?”

“I would want to be friends with you,” Hoseok says.

“That’s because you’ve only seen me at my best. Puberty did wonders on me, Seok.”

“Mm, I probably would have had a crush on you anyway,” Hoseok shrugs. “I had a crush on
just about everyone in my class. ‘Course back then I thought it was just because I liked the
other boys’ lunchboxes.”

“Why does that not surprise me?”

“I’ve just always liked people. I want people to like me. My favorite thing has always been to
make the people around me laugh.”

“You make me laugh,” Yoongi says. “We probably would have been friends if we knew each
other. You probably would have been my first kiss. It would have gone a lot better than the
girl who invited me to see a movie in the theater with her and then kissed me when I reached
for the popcorn. I was just trying to enjoy the film and then I had to call my mom to pick me
up.”

Hoseok giggles. “My first kiss was with my sisters’ friend. She told me she wanted to
practice kissing. I think I was like eight, and she was maybe eleven or twelve, so in my mind
I thought she was a fully grown adult. My sister was so mad at her after that that she never
even came back to the house.”

“Aw, Hoseok breaking hearts even at eight years old.”

“What can I say? I was pretty cute,” Hoseok smiles. He’s leaning on his left leg on the swing
so that he can be close to Yoongi.

“What happened?” he asks and Hoseok sticks his tongue out at him. He instinctively grabs
Hoseok’s face to kiss him. Then he kicks at Hoseok’s foot to make his swing drag him
backwards. Yoongi laughs at him as Hoseok flails for a second and then finds his feet under
him.
“Oh, it’s on now, Min Yoongi,” he says. “I’m going to swing higher than you and I bet I can
do it faster.”

“Are you willing to prove it?”

“Absolutely.”

“What does the winner get?” Yoongi asks.

Hoseok scrunches up his face like he’s deep in thought. “A kiss.”

“Whoa, so there’s a lot to play for here.”

Hoseok nods. The two of them wind themselves up then. Yoongi backs up with the swing on
his lower back and turns to look at Hoseok.

“On three?”

“You’re going to eat dirt, Seok.”

He laughs and shakes his head. “One. Two. Three!”

Yoongi has never felt more like a superhero then when he takes off on his swing. When he
was a kid, his little legs had to pump several minutes before he’d get any air, but with his
newly added height comes a sizable boost.

It’s hard to say what the peak height of a swing actually is. When you’re a kid, everyone talks
about that one girl who swung all the way around the swing and then fell off and cracked her
head open. Of course, every swing that Yoongi has ever been on has had a stopper after a
certain point so that one can’t actually get that high. Though it would be kind of amusing to
try.

Kids on his playground told a lot of horror stories about other kids dying at school. If all
those kids actually died, surely the school would have been closed by then. Someone would
have investigated. There was that girl who fell off of the monkey bars and cracked her head
open. And the guy who jumped off the slide and cracked his head open. Come to think of it,
cracking your head open is the only way that kids ever died on his playground. “Internal
bleeding” probably doesn’t strike as much of a cord in kids as brains spilling out of your
skull.

“Remember when swinging perfectly parallel with someone else means that you’re married?”
Hoseok asks him and Yoongi looks over to see that they are in fact swinging in sync.

“I didn’t buy you a ring,” Yoongi says.

“That’s alright, your smile is all I need.”

“Fuck off, that’s too corny,” Yoongi says. He is determined to get to the top quicker and he
overexerts himself. It never occurred to him how much of swinging is actually dependent on
your arms rather than just your legs. Legs for momentum, but arms working on the chain like
exercise equipment. You could actually build up some muscle mass just from swinging too
long. But your ass is going to hurt. There are much better reasons for your ass to hurt than a
swing.

It actually only takes about a minute, maybe more, for Yoongi to reach the highest point that
the swing set will allow. This is due to the fact that he is actually not four feet tall anymore.
Getting to the top quickly doesn’t depress him, though, because there’s a moment when you
push forward and the swing takes you as high as you can go, and for the briefest of seconds,
the seat isn’t there anymore. It’s just you: floating, flying. There’s the thrill of forgetting that
you don’t have wings that can take you everywhere.

“Hoseok, I beat you!” Yoongi announces. When the swing pulls him backward, it looks like
Hoseok is at the same height as him anyway. Only when it’s Hoseok, he looks like he truly is
flying. He’s an angel. He’s Yoongi’s angel. His hair blows around his head and the silhouette
of his face makes dams break across the world. Yoongi never noticed just how pretty his skin
is until he looks at him now under the light of the moon.

“Alright Yoongi, you win.” Hoseok is pretty sure he got to the top first, but he’s going to let
his Yoongi have this one.

“Bragging rights for life,” Yoongi cheers.

“I’m going to jump off,” Hoseok says.

“You’re going to hurt yourself,” Yoongi warns. “What happens if you break your nose, Seok?
If you ruin your good looks, what will you be left with? Your personality? Pfft.”

“No, I got this, I got this,” Hoseok assures him. Yoongi is still pumping his legs, anticipating
Hoseok making a fool of himself. It’s Hoseok, though, so he should really learn to accept his
perfection. He leaps softly from the swing like a ballerina. It’s perfect and seamless. Thinking
that it can’t be too hard, Yoongi attempts to do the same. He trips and almost falls flat on his
face. Hoseok tries to stop him, but Yoongi’s momentum has them both going down. He
accidentally catches Hoseok's arm to pull Hoseok into landing almost on top of him, his knee
only a hairs breath away from really fucking over Yoongi’s parenting prospects.

“Graceful like a cat on roller skates,” Hoseok says, looking down at him. Yoongi resigns and
just lays his head on the ground to look up at the sky. He doesn’t feel like an idiot, he doesn’t
really get embarrassed with Hoseok. He just decides to turn his brain off and then on again.
Those same stars that he and Hoseok gave stories to are out there again. The moon seems too
big, too bright, almost a little yellow. Yoongi swears he could just reach out and touch it. He
wishes he could pluck the moon right out of the sky and give it to Hoseok as a present.

“Do I get my prize for winning?” he asks when he looks up at Hoseok. He rolls his eyes but
leans down and kisses his Yoongi. His tongue doesn’t stay to itself for very long. Soon,
Yoongi is fully pulling Hoseok on top of him and kissing him like a raging storm. Hoseok’s
closeness burns him alive but he doesn’t want anything more than this right now. The kiss
could be hours. Yoongi’s thoughts have sort of flickered out. All he knows is Hoseok’s
mouth, his arms, their chests pressed together. Some of Hoseok’s hair is tickling the top of
Yoongi’s forehead.
Hoseok gasps softly against his mouth and Yoongi bites at his lip, pulls it briefly and then lets
it go. Yoongi abandons all of his dreams and ambitions for the briefest piece of time, because
the only thing that he cares about right now is Hoseok. Until their lips part, Yoongi doesn’t
care about being a rapper or making a name for himself. All that matters is him, Hoseok.

Yoongi rolls them over at some point, plants both of his legs on either side of Hoseok’s body
and leans down to kiss him until they run out of air or the world ends, whichever comes first.
Yoongi doesn’t think he’s ever kissed anyone for this long before. He doesn’t think anyone
has ever kissed any other person ever for this long. He’s going to break a record. That’s
alright with him, he’ll break a record and then break it again tomorrow as long as it’s with
Hoseok.

“You’re going to kill me, Min Yoongi,” Hoseok whispers against his lips.

“You’re probably going to kill me first.”

Another few minutes and Yoongi’s mouth actually starts to feel sore. So do his arms from
holding himself up. He takes it as a sign to fall against Hoseok’s shoulder and bury his head
into his neck. Hoseok loves the softness of Yoongi’s hair against his skin and he thinks he
could fall asleep right now if not for the fact that the ground below his back is uncomfortable
and they’re technically in a public space.

“Why are you perfect?” Yoongi mumbles against his neck. He has the thought of giving him
a hickey, like the ones Jungkook and Taehyung did a terrible job at covering up on their
necks. That would be going too far, he thinks. Hoseok would look kind of cute like that,
though. Well, he’s always cute, but Yoongi wants to leave signs of himself on Hoseok’s skin.

“Do you own a rice cooker?” Hoseok asks him without any prelude. Yoongi, confused, gives
him a look.

“I do,” he says.

“Good. My mom gave me one last year, but I broke it.”

“I’ll let you borrow it anytime,” Yoongi says, shaking his head. “We’ll also have to get a
coffee maker. I spend too much money on coffee, Hoseok. I spend so much on coffee. I
always thought it tasted better from a café than when I make it myself, but you make really
good coffee, so you’ll just be my barista from now on.”

“Okay,” he nods.

Hoseok plays with his hair. Yoongi holds back soft sounds in his throat because Christ, he’s
never going to get over his hair pulling thing, is he? He knows that Hoseok is thinking the
same thing he is. They could easily just fall asleep – or do something else – right here in the
middle of a park if not for the fact that that would be weird. Yoongi puts his nose against
Hoseok’s jaw. Honestly, he wishes he could fuse himself to Hoseok.

Yoongi shivers slightly, even though it’s warm enough outside in Hoseok’s opinion. He feels
a little hot under his hoodie, but pulling it over his head to hand over to Yoongi is instinctual.
“I’m always cold,” Yoongi says, shaking his head. He doesn’t say anything more before he
pokes his head into the sweatshirt and pops out on the other side with staticky hair. Hoseok
fixes his hair for him while Yoongi gets his arms into the sweatshirt.

“I’m never giving this back to you, you know?” Yoongi says, looking at Hoseok seriously. He
pulls it over his nose, like a turtle disappearing into its own shell. It smells deliciously like
Hoseok and has his warmth all over it still. You’ll have to pay him a king’s ransom before
he’ll ever give this up.

“That’s okay,” he says with an easy shrug. Yoongi pulls him back down into a lying position,
the bottom of Yoongi’s face now buried into Hoseok’s – sorry – his sweatshirt.

Hoseok has a vibrant prediction of it being below freezing with them bundled up in coats
playing around in the snow and then falling together just like they are now. Hoseok will have
a cherry red nose and his teeth will be jittering together. No matter what he does, he won’t be
able to pull his coat up warm enough. Yoongi will be worse, because he can’t stand the cold.
Hoseok has seen Yoongi shiver in well vented rooms. They’ll make a snowman. Depending
on how tall it is, they’ll name the snowman either Jimin or Namjoon. Yoongi will beat him at
a snowball fight. When it’s all over, they’ll go inside and have tea and take a warm shower.

Yoongi is ready to give Hoseok anything he wants. His heart, his body, his voice. Anything.
But Hoseok would never want any of that. He just wants Yoongi to be next to him, or in his
arms. Hoseok would never ask for anything, but Yoongi would give him the world.

“I used to not like kissing,” Hoseok admits.

“Am I that good a kisser?” Yoongi says with a laugh in his voice. His voice is very deep right
now and it pricks at Hoseok.

“Yeah, you are.”

“Haven’t had a lot of practice. Had to use you as a launching off point,” he says. He’s gotten
quite good at kissing in the last few days.

“Oh Yoongi,” he says, shaking his head at himself. “I’m going to waste all my time with you,
Yoongi. All my time. I guess it won’t be a waste if it’s you, though.”

“You’re dumb.”

“It’s your fault.”

“I’m dumb too,” Yoongi nods.

They lie on the ground for only a few minutes; it feels like more time and it feels like less.
The sun would be peaking up if they were lying here for hours. Eventually, Hoseok gets
himself onto his elbows and looks around, like he’s in a new environment that he hasn’t seen
before. He feels like the world should be a different color than it was before. Before it was a
dark black night but now it’s lime green! However, the world hasn’t changed. Same night air,
crickets chirping.
“Yoongi,” he says softly and looks down at him. Yoongi doesn’t want to sit up so he wraps
his arms around Hoseok and rests his head against his stomach. He’s got little sweatshirt
paws because Hoseok buys oversized sweatshirts.

“What?”

“Someone left a basketball over there,” he says. Yoongi slowly looks up. A basketball? The
idea excites him but not enough to animate him too quickly.

“Mm, I’m good at basketball.”

“I know you’re good at basketball. I’m very bad at basketball.”

“You look like the kind of guy who would be bad at basketball,” Yoongi laughs. Hoseok
shrugs, he’s not too far off the mark… like Hoseok is whenever he tries to make a basket.

“Am I going to prove how bad I am to you or are we just going to lie here and think about
it?”

“Ugh, five more minutes, mom.”

“Nope, come on Yoongi, we’re getting up.” Hoseok pulls Yoongi onto his feet easily.
Hoseok’s arms are a little less bony than Yoongi’s; there’s lean muscle that Yoongi will never
get from sitting behind a computer or keyboard writing music all day. That’s not to say
Hoseok’s going to tear through a T-shirt like Jungkook probably has on more than one
occasion, but Yoongi can foresee him doing all the heavy lifting when they buy their couch.
Actually, they’ll probably just call Jungkook because he could probably lift a couch solo, that
motherfucker.

“Verticality is overrated.”

Hoseok’s smile spreads across his face like a canoe breaking undisturbed water. Then he’s
tugging on Yoongi’s arm to bring him over to the basketball court. The basketball is half-
hidden at the edge of the court, but it’s got that unmistakable burnt orange color that Yoongi
is beckoned by. He picks it up and tests it in his hands while Hoseok looks at him
expectantly. The ball isn’t deflated like he expected it to be. He dribbles it carefully on the
concrete below him and nods when he’s impressed by it.

“Can you do any tricks?” Hoseok asks him. It’s honestly so dreadfully dark out that he cannot
unfortunately see Hoseok’s face very well when he’s stood a few feet away from him. Yoongi
gets a little closer and pretends to throw the ball at Hoseok’s face. He flinches but when
Yoongi laughs Hoseok just walks over and pushes his shoulder. “Jackass.”

“Tricks? Let’s see.” He hasn’t tried in a while, but he attempts to spin the ball on his finger.
He gets in a few seconds before it tilts the wrong way and he has to catch it. Ten years ago,
he probably could’ve spun the ball for a minute or two, but Hoseok is still impressed. Yoongi
hands the ball to him and Hoseok literally looks down at it like he’s never seen a basketball
before in his entire life. He looks as though he’s about to ask for instructions like it’s a piece
of Ikea furniture.
“Yoongi, I can’t even name a basketball player besides Michael Jordan, and I only know that
because I have a pair of his shoes.”

Yoongi just rolls his eyes and points to the basketball hoop. “Just go for it, I’ll only laugh at
you if you fail. So, I’m probably going to laugh at you.”

Hoseok tilts his head a little bit, a small gesture of his that Yoongi is the only person to
notice. Hoseok gives it a go, and the best that Yoongi can say of Hoseok’s attempt is that at
least he doesn’t go for an underhanded shot. That doesn’t mean he’s within five feet of the
basketball hoop but Yoongi just chuckles and wraps his arms around Hoseok’s waist in back
hug.

“I told you I suck, Yoongi,” he whines and starts walking to go retrieve the ball but Yoongi
doesn’t let go so he’s dragged along with him.

“Come on, let me show you,” Yoongi shakes his head. Instead of taking the ball and actually
making a shot of his own, Yoongi drags him to stand where he wants him to. There are no
lines on the court, so he has to give it his best guess.

Yoongi gets him into position dutifully. “Alright, Seok. Legs shoulder width apart. Bring
your shooting foot forward a little bit.” Hoseok does what he says and feels like a little kid in
gym class. “Everything pointing towards the hoop.” Yoongi adjusts his position with the pads
of his fingers and Hoseok’s entire body freezes up under the light touch. Yoongi shows him
how to hold the basketball and he feels his breath on his neck. If he weren’t being so attentive
with positioning him, Hoseok would drop the ball right now and kiss the senses out of him.
Even if he is about to severely disappoint him, Hoseok will follow through with the
instructions he’s being given.

Yoongi smiles and puts a hand on Hoseok’s hip that doesn’t necessarily need to be there.
“Non shooting hand is just to balance the ball, okay? Your hand and wrist are aiming directly
at the basket. When you shoot, try to make the ball backspin. It’s all about finding what
works, for you though, okay? This is just textbook. When you’re ready, just bend your knees
a little bit, aim, jump, and throw.” Yoongi takes his hand off of Hoseok’s hip and nods
expectantly to him. Hoseok feels a weird pressure with Yoongi watching him like that. He
breathes in through his nose and then follows Yoongi’s instructions to the letter.

To Hoseok’s absolute amazement, the ball swooshes perfectly into the net. It’s one of those
baskets that is so perfect it barely makes a sound.

“Wow, th-” Hoseok starts to say but Yoongi grabs him and kisses him like he’s angry. Hoseok
is confused, because he’s pretty sure he just made a pretty amazing shot, but Yoongi bites at
his bottom lip, hands on Hoseok’s hips. He hears the sound of the ball rolling against the
black top, sound dampened as it picks up bits of sand or dust as it goes.

As quickly as Yoongi had kissed him, he pushes him away and runs after the ball. Maybe to
show off or maybe because he’s just super talented, Yoongi aims, fires, and makes a basket of
his own. He collects the ball before it’s even stopped bouncing and dribbles it over to Hoseok
like some sort of expert. Yoongi is pretty short for basketball, but that doesn’t mean he’s any
less talented.
“You know how to play horse, right?” he asks.

“I mean, yeah,” he says. He feels a little numb right now. How many times has he kissed
Yoongi now? A dozen? Two dozen? There was something about that kiss that has rearranged
something inside of him. His ears feel a little cottony.

“You should start, Seok,” he says, passing the ball to him. Hoseok’s reflexes aren’t usually
terrible, but he’s distracted by Yoongi. He manages to grab the ball before it bounces off
behind him, but his eyes are incapable of straying from Yoongi.

Yoongi’s dressed in entirely dark colors, the sweatshirt that he took off of Hoseok is black
and his pants are a dark grey. His form is hard to see in the night, it’s the coolness of his skin
that makes him light up under the moon.

“I… you’re definitely going to beat me, though,” he says.

Yoongi shrugs. “That’s why I’m letting you go first.”

Hoseok tries to shake off the feeling of Yoongi looking at him, but it’s not going to happen.
He resigns himself and finds a spot on the court that he thinks he can make a shot from, but
that he hopes isn’t too easy.

Hoseok looks at the basket, goes through Yoongi’s instructions one more time and throws.
Unfortunately, his earlier shot must have been beginner’s luck. Yoongi catches the ball and
dribbles it in place a few times.

“I’ll go easy on you,” he says. He gets close to the hoop and throws, obviously making his
shot. Yoongi waits for him in the spot as Hoseok goes to fetch the ball and then take his
place, trying to copy Yoongi’s posture exactly. God, he can feel Yoongi’s eyes on every part
of him. He feels very self-conscious right now. It’s hard to look sexy when you’re in your
sweatpants and an old T-Shirt. He knows he still probably looks good, but he’d really rather
Yoongi were seeing him in pants that show off his ass and a shirt that shows off his
collarbones.

Rather luckily, Hoseok makes his shot. He sees Yoongi smile at him when he retrieves the
ball and it makes Hoseok swell up. “I’m better than you thought, Yoongi,” he jokes. Being
better than terrible isn’t much to write home about, though.

“Mm, whatever, Hoseok,” he says. Yoongi finds a new spot on the court and to Hoseok’s
surprise, he misses the basket when it bounces off the rim, right back into his hands.

“And maybe you’re worse than I thought!” he says excitedly. Yoongi sticks his tongue out at
him and passes him the ball. Hoseok flies a little too close to the sun and misses his next shot,
but Yoongi doesn’t miss the one after that.

Hoseok stands in the space where Yoongi just was and looks at the basket. He doesn’t really
care about losing, because it’s inevitable, but he doesn’t want to thoroughly embarrass
himself. He takes in a deep breath… and misses it by about three feet.
“Shit,” Hoseok says when Yoongi laughs. “Guess I’ve got an H.”

“Hmm,” Yoongi makes a soft sound. “Why don’t we make the game a little more
interesting?”

Hoseok blinks at him. What did he say?

“Take off a shoe, Hoseok.”

“A-a shoe?”

“It’s strip horse, Seok-ah.”

Hoseok blinks at him a little louder this time. Strip?

“Unless you’re not comfortable with that,” Yoongi says, but it doesn’t sound sheepish at all.
He’s almost taunting him. Hoseok doesn’t know what to say, what to do. He just looks at
Yoongi for the longest ten seconds of his entire life. Then he kicks a shoe off.

Yoongi smirks at him and dribbles the ball a few times before he aims again. Rather
unfortunately for Hoseok – or maybe fortunately depending on how you look at it – he makes
the basket. Hoseok sighs and wobbles over, his pace a little awkward missing one shoe.

Hoseok ends up having to take off the other shoe. Then a sock. The pavement feels weird
under his bare foot, but the cement was laid recently, so he’s not worried about stepping on
something. His steps are just a little more ginger now.

Yoongi finally misses a shot that Hoseok is able to make so he takes off one of his own shoes.
“Are you trying to get me naked, Seok?”

“It was your idea!” he says exasperatedly. Yoongi laughs at him, from his belly and up.
Hoseok has the advantage in going first this time and he makes his shot, but only because he
gets really close to the net. Yoongi smirks, positions himself right where Hoseok was, and
then throws the basketball in exactly the wrong direction.

“Yoongi?” Hoseok says exasperatedly as Yoongi pulls off his other shoe.

“What? The ground feels uneven when I’ve only got one shoe on, after all. This way my
balance won’t be off.”

Hoseok rolls his eyes and collects the ball. A few more rounds pass with no excitement.
Hoseok ends up having to take off his other sock. At one point, Hoseok makes a shot from
the side of the hoop, with no backboard to support him and he punches a fist in the air.

“Oh! Look at that! What’s that called, a, uh, a rim shot?” Hoseok asks, looking excited about
it.

“A rim job.”

“A rim-” Hoseok snorts, “Yoongi!”

Yoongi shrugs and makes the same shot like it’s nothing.

Unfortunately for Hoseok, Yoongi gets a basket that he’s unable to recreate. No shoes, no
socks, and what used to be his sweatshirt is now looking very pretty on Yoongi’s body.
Yoongi gives him the most evil smile he’s ever seen in his entire life. They’re both aware that
Hoseok has a choice to make now: shirt or pants.

“You think you’re a little devil, don’t you, Yoongi?” he says.

“Hey, it’s not my fault you suck at basketball,” he plays innocent, but it doesn’t seem like a
genuine attempt at acting.

Hoseok questions whether he planned this whole thing. As soon as he saw that basketball, he
knew he could play around Hoseok’s mind with it. He’s not wrong, either.

“You took my sweatshirt, Yoongi,” he chides. He’s only pushing back the inevitable, but he’s
not too terribly torn up over it. Hoseok definitely wishes he had a little more muscle to show
off but Yoongi seeing him without a shirt isn’t a disservice to either of them. “If I still had
that, I’d have one more item of clothing.”

Yoongi considers it for a moment and then rips off the sweatshirt. He folds it cutely and then
sets it beside his shoes. He doesn’t want to damage or dirty his new favorite possession.

“There. You’re off the hook for this round. But the next one I make, which I’m sure you’ll
miss, I get to pick what comes off, okay?”

Hoseok rolls his eyes. He passes the ball to Yoongi and waits for him, barefoot toes curling
up a little at the situation he’s been put in. He’s hopelessly in love with Yoongi. He can’t stop
it any more than he can stop the weather.

As Yoongi had predicted, Hoseok fails. The ball hits the rim, teases him pathetically and
topples over the wrong side of the hoop.

Yoongi grins with every single one of his teeth on display. He lets the ball roll off to wherever
it wants to go and walks over to him. Yoongi pecks him on the lips before he teases with the
hem of Hoseok’s shirt. He lifts his arms up for Yoongi and then feels the night air wash over
his bare torso a moment later.

Yoongi touches his chest. He doesn’t even pretend to hesitate. He just puts his fingers, which
are somehow freezing, against Hoseok’s skin. Hoseok’s got a dancer’s body, and Yoongi’s in
love with it. Mostly, he’s in love with the person this body belongs to, but he really does have
trouble looking away. He cannot believe how fucking sexy Hoseok is. It’s not fair. He doesn’t
have well defined muscles or anything fancy. He’s just a skinny guy with a suggestion of a
little bit more.

“Your hands are cold,” Hoseok says, before grabbing them in his own and holding Yoongi’s
hands up to his face to warm them up. Yoongi is enchanted with the way Hoseok’s warm
breath feels on his hands.
“You’re… you’re…” Why is Yoongi the one who’s tongue tied?

“Something wrong?” he asks.

Yoongi splutters, looks at Hoseok and then practically faints in his arms. He pulls his hands
away, blushes and then looks around for the ball.

He passes the ball to Hoseok once he’s retrieved it. “Go ahead, you could really use the
advantage.” He sure does need the advantage. By his count, Hoseok’s going to lose in two
more rounds, whereas Yoongi still has both of his socks on.

“This is so not fair,” Hoseok shakes his head. He’s not going to take a shot from far away that
he knows he won’t make. He goes for the most pathetically easy basket possible. He manages
to get the basket, but Yoongi walks over to take his spot with so much swagger in his step
that Hoseok could cry.

He can’t help but to look at the way Yoongi holds the basketball and up at the hoop before
him. It’s kind of weird but he finds the curve of his neck, of his Adam’s apple, to be
beautiful. He has his own Adam’s apple and he thinks it’s kind of weird, but there’s
something cute about Yoongi’s perfect neck which barely knows how to grow facial hair
looking so fucking manly like that.

Yoongi makes the shot, but that doesn’t matter, because Hoseok is still the one with the
power. As long as he starts the rounds, as long as Yoongi has to follow him, he has a fighting
chance. Then again, Yoongi is talented at this game while Hoseok is not.

“Crybaby,” Yoongi taunts him. Hoseok can’t even be annoyed with him. The only thing he
can do is look up at the basket and hope for the best. He almost closes his eyes, but that’s not
the best strategy in playing any sport actually. The basket he makes is through dumb luck
rather than skill. The backboard is his friend. Coming up to the plate – which is the wrong
sport, he knows that – Yoongi takes Hoseok’s spot. Hoseok has an evil twinkle in his eye as
he ever so slightly reaches out and nudges Yoongi’s elbow when he shoots.

“Fuck,” he says when he realizes something has gone wrong, but then he looks up at Hoseok
with nothing short of adoration. “Sneaky bastard.”

“Strip, Yoongi, strip!”

Hoseok expects for him to discard a sock, because that’s what he’s supposed to do. Instead,
Yoongi pulls him in really close, and uses Hoseok’s hands to pull his own shirt off of his
head.

“I don’t want my feet to get cold,” he explains poorly. Yoongi really does have the physique
of dental floss, which is a joke he’s made a few times and Hoseok always knew it was true,
but damn, it’s so fucking true. He’s also as pale as dental floss, so pale that he practically
glows under the moonlight. It drives him insane to think that Yoongi is all his. He doesn’t
have to share Yoongi with anyone at all. He’s all his.
“Get your head in the game, Hoseok,” Yoongi says, not letting him look for too long as he
passes the ball almost viciously at him. Hoseok narrows his eyes at him. About ten minutes
later, Hoseok is met with having to discard his penultimate item of clothing. All he has left
are his pants, and the underwear beneath them.

“This is what you’ve been waiting for, isn’t it?” he asks shallowly.

“More or less,” Yoongi shrugs. He blinks at him like a wide-eyed little kid learning
something new for the first time.

Hoseok doesn’t know how to go about this. He panics ever so slightly when he doesn’t
remember what kind of underwear he put on this morning. Please oh please let it not be
briefs. Please let it be something normal and not embarrassing. His underwear sits a little
high on his hips, so he looks down. Calvin Klein, at least he has taste.

“Don’t worry, I don’t know how to wolf whistle,” Yoongi says.

Hoseok just shakes his head. Breathes deeply. It’s fine, Yoongi’s going to see him naked quite
a bit in their future anyway, so it doesn’t matter. It’s still a little weird, though.

He resigns himself and just pulls his pants off, one leg and then the other. Thank god: boxers.
And apparently, he was feeling creative this morning, or last morning, or whatever you want
to call it and he went for navy blue. Yoongi’s more hypnotized by his thighs than he is
anything else. Though he could drink Hoseok in for years and years.

Yoongi’s not really afraid of expressing his sexuality. Especially not his sexuality. So, yeah,
he looks. He’s got hormones, of course he looks. Hoseok’s… well, it’ll be a good time, won’t
it?

“Stop drooling, Yoongi,” he says, and Yoongi did not realize his mouth was open. Oh, to be
two half naked boys falling in love on a basketball court in the middle of the night.

Yoongi goes over to him and attacks Hoseok’s mouth. It’s all-out war between them. The kiss
goes on for several minutes, lots of breathing and hands on undiscovered skin. Hoseok
breathes heavily into the kiss as he tries his hardest to stick his tongue down Yoongi’s throat.

What Hoseok would do to him right now if they were surrounded by four walls and a ceiling.
Hell, what Hoseok will do to him right here if Yoongi doesn’t stop ghosting his fingers on his
shoulder blades. It’s weird, being skin-to-skin with him when they spent so many weeks
barely even touching each other because of the ever-looming presence of cameras. Now he
has Yoongi all to himself. Except for the fact that they’re technically in public and not too far
away from a habited area of homes. There have to be homes nearby if there’s a park, but god,
he would do anything to have Yoongi under the moon and stars like this.

Yoongi slides his hands down to rest on Hoseok’s hip and he makes a sound deep in his throat
that heads south for Hoseok. Yoongi almost pushes Hoseok back with how forceful his kiss
is, but he stands his ground. Yoongi’s thumb rubs circles on his hip and Hoseok practically
whimpers. It barely happens – or maybe it doesn’t happen at all – but one of Yoongi’s fingers
touches the waistband of his underwear.
With every piece of strength Hoseok has in his body, he pushes Yoongi away gently. “We’ve
got to stop, Yoongi.” Yoongi makes a disappointed sound. “You’re going to get me a little too
excited.” He places one last kiss to Hoseok’s jaw before he breaks away, refusing to take his
hands from Hoseok’s hips though.

“I hate you,” Yoongi says, pulling him in again. Hoseok is a little bit sweaty, but he doesn’t
really mind it all that much.

“No, you don’t,” he says. A warm breeze flies against them, and Yoongi closes his eyes.
They’re the same height, but he rests his head on Hoseok’s shoulder anyway.

Yoongi could just tell him he’s in love right now.

For the second time tonight, or maybe it’s more accurate to say this morning, Hoseok thinks
about slow dancing.

“Here, put your left hand on my shoulder, like this,” Hoseok says. Yoongi does it without
question and then Hoseok puts his own hand on Yoongi’s waist. He takes their free hands
together and holds the two of them up like they’re about to have their first dance at their
wedding.

“We don’t have any music,” Yoongi says.

“I could say something tacky about how I always hear music when I’m with you, but I’ll
refrain.”

“Fuck off,” Yoongi replies. They mostly just sway in one spot, Yoongi pressing his chest
close to Hoseok’s. There would not be enough room to hold a bible between their chests. It
could be weird that they’re both half naked but neither of them makes it weird.

“Why do you get to lead?” Yoongi asks him.

“Do you want to lead?”

“No, you can lead.” Yoongi says innocently. He will bow down to Hoseok whenever he needs
to. Hoseok has the right balance of agency to him. Yoongi doesn’t like boys who he can order
around; boys who try too hard to please him. Hoseok is dominant when he needs to be but
also considerate. He’s got give and pull on the same wavelength as Yoongi. Yoongi is falling
in love with every single cell of him.

Hoseok shakes his head. He doesn’t bother asking him anything else, because he can read his
mind anyway. He loves how close Yoongi is to his face. Right now, he just wants to look at
him. He doesn’t need to kiss him or anything, just wants to look at him. It’s well established
that Yoongi is terrible with eye contact, but right now, his eyes are glued to Hoseok. He’s
looking at his eyes, his lips, his nose. It’s all pretty. He doesn’t feel any tiredness in him at all
right now. He could run a marathon off the air Hoseok breathes into him.

If it were a movie scene, the world around them would montage. Slow dancing in the middle
of the night on a basketball court will wash into a scene of them slow dancing at their
 wedding. It’s ridiculous that they can both picture it. It’s been a little over a month. No one
falls this fast except for in fairy tales. Hoseok doesn’t feel like a fairy tale to Yoongi because
he’s too dynamic to be so easily condensed. Fairy tale men have nothing on Hoseok. Disney
wishes.

Yoongi bumps his forehead against Hoseok’s for the briefest moment, their lips ghost over
each other, but nothing comes of it.

“I don’t fall for people this fast,” Hoseok says directly into Yoongi’s ear, which makes
goosebumps rise up all over his skin. He loves when Hoseok voice gets deeper like that, it
usually happens whenever he lowers his voice. It’s way prettier than even Taehyung’s voice,
simply because it’s Hoseok. Everything about Hoseok is better than everything about
everyone else.

“I should hope not.”

Hoseok rests his head on Yoongi’s shoulder. “I just mean, like, I don’t even let people in
usually. I’ve just had… well you know my backstory. It’s hard to open up. But you’re so easy
to talk to, and so easy to be myself with. I just let myself melt into you. Everything I am, I
wear it on my sleeve for you.”

“I like you so much, Hoseok,” Yoongi’s voice sounds desperate. He lets his cheek rest against
Hoseok’s head. Yoongi has never said ‘I love you’ to anyone before. He supposes he’s said it
to his mom, his grandparents, his brother. He doesn’t think he’s ever said it to his father in his
life; that’s just not the kind of man he is. The last time he said, ‘I love you’, even to any of
those people, was probably five or six years ago. It’s not a natural thing for him. It never has
been. The very thought of saying it to a boyfriend or a girlfriend has never crossed his mind
before. Never once did he think the first person he says it to would be someone he met on a
goddamn reality dating show. There’s no one else before Hoseok that could ever be given
those words. He waited his entire life, using the “L” word sparingly so that it will punch
harder when he gives it to Hoseok.

“Hoseok, I-” he starts. He thinks that he might let it happen. Right now. He’ll let the word go.
He’ll give it to Hoseok, and he’ll never regret it.

That is, he’s about to say it until two pairs of headlights pull up onto the basketball court
behind him.

Chapter End Notes

Oh my god, the next time I update this fic, BE will be out. Can you believe? We're so
close. Also, yesterday was my birthday so please heap comments on me because I
deserve it.

Comment prompt is for you to tell me what animal it would be impractical to have as a
pet, but that you want as a pet anyway. I, for one, would like a goat.
 Part II
Chapter Summary

Producer Dad is a grade A douchebag.

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

{{

(The Bachelor: Boys Will Be Boys SK Interview Kim Seokjin #16)

[Struggling to open his eyes] Uhh, it’s four in the morning. I’m tired. I’m not sure what day it
is? Monday? Or was yesterday Monday? Is it technically Tuesday? Wait, maybe yesterday
was Sunday? I want to go to bed.

I’m not entirely sure what’s going on. People started shouting downstairs. I wanted to go
back to sleep. Namjoon told me to wake up, but I’d really rather not be awake right now.

[Eyes closed, thinking longingly of his bed.]

I really want seafood right now.

[Blinking a few times as if that’s going to magically make his eyes work.]

Why is it so bright in here? (It’s so that the camera can see your face, you beautiful bastard.)

I think Yoongi has gone missing. That’s what I’ve gathered. I don’t think it’s much to worry
about. He probably just wanted to be with Hoseok. They’re in love, you know?

[He yawns so violently that viewers at home who haven’t even watched this interview yet
will feel the yawn.]

Then again, if Yoongi went and got himself murdered I’m going to kill him.

He’s probably fine. Hopefully he comes back soon so that I can go to bed. This is really
going to ruin my plans for tomorrow which was to make a boy fall in love with me. Hard to
do that with bags under my eyes. That’s not true; I’m handsome even when I’m tired.

Do you think it’s too early to make breakfast? I’m going to go back to bed once this is all
resolved. I don’t like going to bed right after eating, it makes me feel weird when I wake up.
But I am really hungry. (Seokjin, there are people missing.)

I wish Namjoon would cuddle me. I’m tired.

**Notes from the director: Of all the people you could have gotten footage of, you had to get
the one who is completely nonplussed? Yes, Seokjin is my favorite, but I was hoping to see
somebody panicking!

}}

Everything inside of Hoseok and Yoongi sinks and nothing but terror replaces the void left
there. Hoseok seriously feels his life flash before his eyes, and it’s not because he thinks the
two cars are going to run them over, it’s because he’s only wearing underwear and the
surprise very nearly could have made him piss himself. He is luckily an adult with better than
average control of his bladder. He will still enter his grave mortified of this moment, though.

They’re both fully blinded by the lights and it takes a few seconds for them to get their
bearings. Yoongi stares too long at the headlights making sure that he’s not about to be hit
and runned. When he looks away, he has spots in his eyes that are harsher than the headlights
themselves. It takes Yoongi a beat and a half longer before he remembers he’s half naked.
The two of them immediately start hunting for discarded clothes, but it’s very hard to see
when his eyesight is dotted with white that isn’t fading as quickly as he would like. He
thought that only Hoseok was allowed to manifest the sun like that. Hoseok brings warm
light, whereas the headlights is sterile and cold.

While the two of them panic, Yoongi also feels a molten hatred. Who the fuck is trying to
pester them right now? He’s also wondering how he didn’t even hear the sounds of the two
cars as they approached. That seems like something they should have noticed. Except he was
listening to the song they were dancing to in his mind, the beat provided by his own pulse.

Hoseok is rattled as he collects his pants from the ground. Several people step out of the cars,
and Yoongi’s everything shrivels up when he realizes that one of the people who stepped out
has a camera. Oh god no. Why does this feel like a TMZ thing? He’s not even a celebrity and
yet he feels like he just got caught by the paparazzi. The fact that he knows why there’s a
camera makes it worse. Yoongi isn’t a celebrity so what would TMZ be able to report on?
However, he is a reality star, and footage of him literally shirtless with Hoseok is going to do
a lot for ratings, he can already tell.

He wants to be eaten up by a very large hole and not return again. He just wants to climb into
bed and die of embarrassment, because this is the single worst moment of his life, and he’s
seen a video of himself perform a strip tease for his heterosexual college roommate, but only
like four people have ever seen that video. Yoongi went on a date with Jungkook once and
Jungkook told him he liked him, and he thought that was the end of his life, but at least he
was fully clothed. Right now, he’s so embarrassed that he might flicker out of existence.

“Yoongi, what the fucking hell do you think you’re doing?” Producer Dad says. No voice in
the history of life on earth has ever sounded so angry. His voice could literally kill a small
child, and it makes the crickets stop. Yoongi ignores him until he finds his new Hoseok
sweatshirt and pulls it on over his head, backwards at first in his desperation. He takes a few
deep breaths while he tries to remember how to be a person.

“We were going to come back!” Yoongi says finally, looking around for Hoseok who is
struggling with his pajama pants and is still not wearing a shirt. Unfortunately, Yoongi can’t
see anything on the ground because his eyes are still trying to blink out the spots in them. The
headlights are still beaming at them like search lights, probably so that the camera can
actually see something in the dark. Also, probably to embarrass the two of them as much as
possible. If complete and total humiliation was the goal, it’s a success.

“Why are you naked!” he screams. They can’t actually see him, all they can see is the shadow
of him, but his angry voice is a shot heard around the world.

“I’m, we, I mean…” Yoongi’s never felt his heart beating so fast before. It feels like a scene
in a horror movie, but he’s not able to outrun this monster. He turns his back to Producer Dad
and sees Hoseok pulling on his shirt at last. Hoseok tries to shield his eyes from the
headlights and walks over on bare feet to stand next to Yoongi. Yoongi grabs his hand
without looking. He could really use the moral support right now. Hoseok’s hand is clammy
with the same nerves that Yoongi has. It almost feels cold, like the blood has drained out of
him. It’s unusual for anything about Hoseok to be cold, because he’s usually warm both in
personality and physically.

“Sir, can you dim the lights at least?” Hoseok tries to deescalate the situation, but his voice
sounds scared.

Producer Dad ignores him completely, and says, “Do you have any idea what time it is? It’s
the middle of the night! I got a call two hours ago saying you disappeared! I have a life too
you know, you fucking asshole!”

“All we did was come to the park to hang out, that’s all we did,” Yoongi says, and Hoseok is
worried he’s about to cry so he puts his arms around him in a defensive way. He’s not so
much angry with Producer Dad as he is homicidal. No one is allowed to talk to his Yoongi
like that. In this moment, Hoseok’s sure he could grow claws to rip Producer Dad to shreds if
he really needed to.

“You-”

“Calm down,” Hoseok says to him firmly, and doesn’t let go of Yoongi, still cowering. He
doesn’t think his bravery is going to last for very long, because this is definitely going to give
him an anxiety attack later tonight, but until that happens, he will be as strong as he can be
for Yoongi. “We’re right here, you found us. No harm done. You’re always wanting juicy
content. Well now you have it, okay? All we did was play a game, that’s it. We didn’t
runaway, we didn’t do anything. We just came here.”

“Do you know how much you’ll owe in fees for breaking your contract, Yoongi? I will own
the ground you walk on,” he says. Yoongi shivers, not necessarily because of the words
coming out of his mouth but the way he says them. Producer Dad has always been an
asshole, but he’s never been scared of him like he is right now. It’s never felt before like
Producer Dad’s murderous tone of voice was real.

“I told you to back off,” Hoseok’s voice sounds like Yoongi’s never heard it. Hoseok doesn’t
get mad. That’s not a thing Yoongi has ever experienced before. If you push on him hard
enough, he might get annoyed, but it’s hard to picture this boy ever raising his voice to
anyone. But he sounds like he’s out for blood when he glares at the shadow of Producer Dad.
If he wasn’t so frightened, he would be drooling over the power in his voice. He wants
Hoseok to be a big strong man who can take care of him Of course, he’ll be the same for
Hoseok.

Even though they can’t see him, they can hear Producer Dad grit his teeth when he says, “get
in the car.”

At this point, they’re both too afraid of him to argue. Hoseok starts collecting shoes from the
ground, some are his and some are Yoongi’s. Also, apparently Yoongi is not wearing his shirt
under his sweatshirt because he sees him pick it up from the ground. He’s very thankful he
gave Yoongi his sweatshirt because he really doesn’t want anyone to be seeing Yoongi
shirtless except himself. That’s a gift that no one else has earned. He considers smashing the
camera on the ground as they walk towards the cars but considers his bank account which
struggles to afford water and electricity. He’s asked his mom to bail him out of financial
problems one too many times and destruction of property is not something he thinks will sit
well with him.

The drive back to the mansion is slow, even though it can’t take more than five minutes. Two
people in addition to Producer Dad and the cameraman are staring at them. The camera is
pointed directly at their faces. Yoongi and Hoseok hurry in putting their shoes on. Hoseok’s
socks have been abandoned and he will probably never see them again.

Neither of them seemed to notice that it’s not really night anymore. It’s certainly not daylight,
because the sky is a rich, soupy grey color that suits the mood. The world is certainly lighter
than it was when they left the house or when they were playing basketball.

Normally, they’re both too snarky to let Producer Dad scare them. Something is different this
time though. Something is searing in the air around them. All they can do is hold each other’s
sweaty hands and hope Producer Dad isn’t armed.

All the lights in the entire house appear to be on when they return. Hoseok feels like a little
kid who just got in trouble with his parents. Before they can even go inside though, Producer
Dad sits them down on the front porch steps and starts screaming at them. They both look at
the ground like they’ve done something wrong. It’s horrifying; it’s the most horrifying
experience of Hoseok’s entire life, and he was once caught on film vomiting into a trash can.

They’ve both had so many moments on this show so far that they wish never happened.
There are so many things that should have been private or should never have happened at all.
This one humbles all of the past months. Yoongi is blinking and brushing away tears from his
eyes while Hoseok’s face is sour and defeated. He wishes they had run further away. He
wishes they had taken off into the night never to be seen again. God, why didn’t they just go?
Even if they had to walk to Seoul on foot for however many hours or days it takes for them to
get there. Yoongi wants to be in his own shitty apartment back home listening to his
neighbors watch horror movies late into the night. He longs to be able to call up his brother
or see his friends. He could really go for some alcohol to dull the sinking inside himself.

Hoseok wishes that he had the balls to stand up and defend Yoongi and himself, but all the
fight has drained from his body. He wants to scream at Producer Dad to stop. He wants to go
hibernate with Yoongi in a burrow. He wants for none of this to be happening.
But none of it makes him regret running away with Yoongi. Until an hour ago, this was the
best night of his entire life. If he thought he was in love with Yoongi before, he doesn’t even
know the word for what he feels now.

This scolding isn’t deserved; they didn’t do anything wrong. All they did was escape for a
few hours, but the crew are acting like it’s a trigger that ends the world. They didn’t do
anything. But god, even if they had committed crimes or destroyed property, they still
wouldn’t deserve being screamed at like this.

Hoseok clings to the moments in the night where everything was perfect. He thinks of the
moment when Yoongi tackled him jumping off the swing and the way they breathed into each
other’s mouths as they kissed. He thinks of the way that Yoongi had put him into position to
make a basket. He thinks of slow dancing to no music.

Their reprimand lasts for over thirty minutes. Producer Dad repeats a lot of the same
complaint’s multiple times. Yoongi will get sued if he breaches his contract. Hoseok will be
sent packing without even getting to collect his things. Producer Dad will piss in their
breakfast for the rest of their natural lives.

Hoseok’s knuckles turn white on Yoongi’s thigh at the prospect of being sent home. He can’t
be sent home. Absolutely not. Not even a little bit. Producer Dad cannot send him home.
Yoongi is his person. They’re each other’s person. They can’t be separated, not now.

The thought festers. When Producer Dad decides they’ve had enough scolding – for tonight
at least – the thought only gets more corrosive.

Producer Dad gets into his personal space. His breath smells awful and his frown lines have
never been on fuller display. “You’re out of strikes, Jung. One more slip up and you’re out. I
won’t even have the taxi bring you back to the city, I’ll just get you as far away from this
mansion as possible and leave you there, even if that’s the middle of the ocean.”

Hoseok nods, and rushes up the steps, sure he’s about to explode. He assumes Yoongi is right
behind him so when he turns to look and sees he’s not there, his body blanches.

He looks around to see Yoongi being manhandled way too forcefully by Producer Dad. All
Hoseok sees is him trying to shrug Producer Dad off of his arm as they disappear around the
corner of the house to the makeup trailer. He’s about to follow until another producer, who he
knows has a lot of authority, just not as much as Producer Dad, pushes him back inside. He’s
too scared right now to try to argue with her, so he just softens his face and goes back into the
house.

He scampers into the mansion, which is too bright. From some comment in the last several
minutes, he knows the time to be past six, but with the dark clouds above you wouldn’t know
it. It’s definitely going to rain soon, which seems rather well-timed.

Before anyone else can try to push him around or yell at him, he just runs up the stairs, two at
a time. He trips on one step, falls and slams his jaw hard on a step above him, but he’s up in a
snap and keeps running.
Unsurprisingly, everyone is awake upstairs. They must have heard the screaming Producer
Dad just did. Everyone in all of South Korea heard his screaming. Somewhat to his surprise,
it’s Seokjin who immediately steps out of his door frame to comfort Hoseok, and he really
fucking needs it. Seokjin wraps his arms around him. He’s tall enough that Hoseok feels a
little small, but he doesn’t care.

“Hoseok, are you okay?” Seokjin pulls away, hands on his shoulders to look into his eyes.
Everyone else whispers the same sentiment, but Hoseok doesn’t know what to say or do.
There are cameras in the hallway. He splutters and then says nothing.

Seokjin hadn’t been worried about either Yoongi or Hoseok until he heard the screaming
coming from outside. That’s when his fear really kicked in. Those two are his best friends
and no one should ever be treated like that. Seokjin doesn’t want to let go of Hoseok ever
again.

Hoseok looks around to see Taehyung standing in the doorway to their bedroom, but right
behind him he sees D, and a chill bites through his body. D looks like he could kill him. He
tilts his head and Hoseok feels like prey in all the worst ways. There’s something in his eyes
that is nearly as terrifying as the man he just escaped from. Hoseok does not want to go in
there. He doesn’t want to go in there for a single second. Nowhere near D is still too close to
him.

Jimin notices his discomfort. His eyes follow Hoseok’s gaze and come to rest upon D. Jimin
immediately walks over to grab Hoseok hand softly. Seokjin lets go of him and lets Jimin
guide Hoseok over to his shared room with Jungkook.

“Come on Hoseokie, you can sleep in our room tonight,” Jimin says calmly. Hoseok just
nods, but he can’t peel his eyes off of D until the wall does it for him. He’s never in his life
been more thankful to know Jimin.

Taehyung glances over his shoulder and sees D. Deciding that he would also like not to sleep
in the same room with him tonight, he runs into the room just to grab Hoseok’s pillow and an
extra blanket.

As soon as Taehyung rushes in, Jungkook gives a nod over to Namjoon and Seokjin to
reassure them, and then he closes the door behind the four of them. Considering that they’ve
all slept in these rooms for so many weeks with as many as five people in them, four doesn’t
seem that bad. Hoseok can feel his entire body wracking with chills, but Jimin takes him over
to a bed that looks slept in and sits him down.

Taehyung takes the opposite side of Hoseok. As much as Hoseok loves and adores Jimin, it’s
Taehyung who he turns and wraps his arms around. He really needs a good cry right about
now and he has that connection with him already. Jungkook stands rather awkwardly trying
not to seem weird, but also trying to make sure he’s here to support Hoseok however he
needs him to. Not like it matters that much, because Hoseok’s head is buried against
Taehyung. He can’t see anything at all in the room besides Taehyung’s shirt.

“Are you okay, Hoseok?” Taehyung asks. His answering sob says no, he is not okay. It’s
gross crying, which is something Hoseok hates. He can feel snot, he can feel his body
jerking, and he feels bad that he’s making Taehyung deal with him right now, but that is one
of the lesser concerns in his head.

There’s a soft knock on the door. Jungkook immediately goes to check on it.

Namjoon’s voice comes out gently. “Is he alright?” His voice is very soothing, Seokjin is a
lucky guy.

“He just needs to let it out right now, but we’ll make sure he’s okay.”

“Do you, do you think it’s okay if we see him?”

“I…” Jungkook makes a face and turns to look at Hoseok. He doesn’t make any gesture but
Jungkook makes a decision for him. “I think there’s probably one too many people in here
already. I’ll come get you if he asks for either of you, okay?”

Namjoon nods graciously, and quietly asks Jungkook to inform him when Hoseok feels better
or falls asleep. He agrees and then closes the door behind him.

The scene that he returns to is much the same as when he opened the door. Hoseok is buried
against Taehyung, and Jimin is draped over his back holding him safely. Now’s not the time
for it, but Jungkook thinks absently about how kind and caring his boyfriends are for their
friend and it warms him up. They’ll always be there to support him and their friends.

Taehyung holds Hoseok like he’s the only person he’s ever known. He absolute adores
Hoseok. He loves him to bits and pieces. It’s a different type of love than he feels for Jimin
and Jungkook. This is bone shattering, I-would-kill-all-your-enemies kind of love that you
have for your best friend who you’ve known since you were both babies.

He doesn’t need to ask Hoseok what happened, because it’s not important. All that’s
important to him right now is that he’s here with his roommate, his best friend, and one of the
greatest people he’s ever known.

“You can cry for as long as you need to, Hoseokie,” Taehyung says. He has a calming voice
to begin with, and when Hoseok is pressed into his shoulder, the rumble of it through his
body is even more soothing.

It’s hard to say why Hoseok is in so much pain. It shouldn’t be like this. He should be able to
cast aside the last few hours and think about the minutes that brought him to the moon. He
wants to have that much control over his emotions. He wants to be able to cast aside all the
ways he’s fucked up in his life because they’re in the past and there’s nothing he can do to
change them. Except, that’s not how human brains work, or at least, it’s not how Hoseok’s
does. All he can do is hurt for as long as his heart demands.

Wouldn’t it be great, though, if he could just be the happy, bubbly self that he presents to the
world? It would be nice not have the darkness, the pain, the constant feeling that he’s not
good enough, not pretty enough, not strong enough. Would he still be a person, though? Can
a person truly be only good things, no doubts, no fears? Pain and grief are things that give
you personality and conviction, even if it’s for the worse.
His brain isn’t really focused on the philosophical right now. All that it knows is the night
that nose-dived, and the hollowness that comes from being away from Yoongi’s arms.

“I just, I feel like a fucking prisoner,” Hoseok gasps, sobbing way too loudly. That’s the best
word to describe it. He is totally trapped in all this nonsense. He can’t escape it. Producer
Dad is a warden who’s only job is to cause misery, and he should get a raise for going above
and beyond.

“I’m sorry,” Taehyung says. Sandwiched between Jimin and Taehyung, Hoseok certainly
feels safe, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t also need to cry for the next three hours.

“He— Producer Dad— he was so mean,” Hoseok cries. “Like, he just, h-he yelled at us for
so long. He was like, ‘you’ve run out of strikes.’ He— threatened to send m-me home, but I
can’t be sent home. I-I love Yoongi. I love him so much! I can’t go home.” The way he
declares his love for Yoongi is desperate. There’s are no words in any language deep enough.

“Shh, it’s okay Hoseok. You’re okay, I promise.”

“I don’t want to be here anymore,” Hoseok says, and his voice is pretty much buried in
Taehyung’s shirt. “But I can’t go home. I love him so much.”

“He’s going to be with you no matter what,” Taehyung says. Hoseok knows it’s true, but that
doesn’t stop the panic from overtaking his entire body. “Even if you got sent home, he’d just
run away to come find you. You know that.”

“He can’t run away,” Hoseok shakes his head. “They’ll sue him, they just will. Producer Dad,
he’s such… a bitch. But I just can’t… I can’t… I can’t…” Hoseok just wants Yoongi right
now. He wants him so much. He wants Yoongi to hold him and tell him everything is going
to be alright. It feels so melodramatic because of course everything is going to be alright in
the end, but, “I can’t be away from him. Not even if it’s a week. Not even if it’s a day. I’m so,
so in love with him.”

His body shakes uncontrollably and his breathing hurts. Hoseok has never had a panic attack
where he was upset about only one thing, and this one is no different. That’s not really how
they work. It’s one thing that sets off a chain of other things that have also been bothering
him. Everything is centered around Yoongi right now, though. He can’t handle the
embarrassment of being half naked on camera, he can’t handle that he got chewed out by
Producer Dad, he can’t handle how awful D makes him feel, but more than anything, he can’t
even think about being away from Yoongi. He needs Yoongi in the same way that he needs
food and sleep. If he were to go without, he’d only last a few days before he’d wither away.

“Hey Hoseok,” Jimin says, and Hoseok can feel his voice in his shoulder where Jimin’s head
is resting. “I kind of love you to death.”

Taehyung nods. “I do too.”

“Me too,” Jungkook nods.

Hoseok appreciates it, but it can only go so deep into his veins when it feels like they’re
burning through him. He really just needs to cry until he can’t anymore. If he dehydrates
himself on the fear of losing Yoongi, it won’t be enough until everything turns to black. He
wants Yoongi. He doesn’t even want to think about the scolding Producer Dad is giving
Yoongi right now. What could be so bad that Hoseok isn’t even allowed to witness it?

And there is every part of him that wants to run down the stairs and rescue Yoongi, but too
much of him is scared of it. What kind of a boyfriend can he be if he’s too afraid to even
defend Yoongi? This only makes him feel worse, and he whines painfully against Taehyung.

He cries for another five minutes, or maybe ten or fifteen. He hurts and regrets, regrets and
hurts.

Jungkook is a sympathetic crier and has to brush tears from his eyes. It’s worse when it’s
Hoseok, because he’s always just so full of sunshine and laughter. Nothing stings nearly as
hard as seeing someone like that in pain. Not that Yoongi being sad isn’t also heartbreaking,
because it most certainly would be if he were here, but Hoseok is literally the light at the end
of the universe, and when he fades, shadows consume without remorse.

Someone knocks on the door. Jungkook furrows his eyebrows when he stands up to go to the
door. He doubts it’s Namjoon, because he was very understanding earlier. He peeks only his
head out and feels so much relief wash over him that he could sing. Yoongi, looking rather
unkempt with eyes red and puffy from crying, peers at him. Jungkook immediately opens the
door, and Yoongi walks over to the bed where Jimin and Taehyung are keeping him safe.

“Hoseok,” Yoongi whispers softly. Hoseok barely even pokes his head out before he
physically attacks Yoongi, throwing them both to the floor. It’s not instant gratification, but it
is a bit like getting the edges done on a jigsaw puzzle. Sure, it’s not the entire puzzle, but it’s
progress.

Hoseok enters a different universe with him once they’re together. They’re not in the
mansion, there isn’t even color around. Just a pitch-black backdrop where the only thing is
the two of them. Yoongi hugs him so hard that he could crush bones.

Yoongi pulls back after several minutes only to wipe the tears off of Hoseok’s face with his
thumb and kiss the tip of his nose. “You’re okay, Seok. I’m never going to leave you.”

Hoseok hooks his chin over Yoongi’s shoulder and hugs him like he’s the only thing stopping
him from falling off the edge of the world. His Yoongi. The night was going so great. He
can’t explain why he’s still so depressed, even holding onto his Yoongi. it’s obvious what
went wrong, but it’s a lot of pressure weighing him down. Yoongi makes him feel better, but
he still feels awful.

Yoongi’s wrist hurts from where Producer Dad had grabbed him. It hurts far more than he’s
going to admit, and when he looks at it over Hoseok’s shoulder he can already see a purple
bruise forming where his grip was tightest. He can’t tell anyone about it, because he doesn’t
think Hoseok punching the guy in charge would be a very good way of getting into his good
graces. Hoseok isn’t a violent person, there’s nothing about him that makes you think he’d
ever get into a fight. Until you consider how much he cares about Yoongi, because then all
bets are off. Yoongi knows that because he’s never punched anyone either, but he’d take
someone’s eye out for saying a word against Hoseok.

“I missed you,” Yoongi says into his shoulder. “Even if it was twenty minutes or two
minutes. I don’t ever want to leave you when you’re upset.”

Hoseok’s eyes close and he lets his breathing even out. His eyes are soar, but the drag and
pull of air coming in is well needed. Yoongi smells just right. He smells like his shampoo; no
other word to describe his smell than very masculine, like spicy oak, or a warm earthy
softness. He also smells like Hoseok a little bit because he’s wearing his clothes, but it’s not
strong enough that it takes away from the distinctness of Yoongi underneath.

This is how Hoseok wants to spend his years. Wrapped up in Yoongi. He could cuddle
Yoongi for the rest of his life, never once leaving his home to do anything but talk and joke
and laugh, and that would make him perfectly content. He would never want for anything
more than to hear stories and talk about ridiculous, stupid things with Yoongi.

If Hoseok remembers the other three still in the room with them, he hasn’t made any sign of
it. “What did he yell at you about?”

Yoongi huffs with so much annoyance. “After our stunt, he’s forcing me to keep D here until
the end of the show.” Hoseok’s stomach twists, because he’s never disliked anyone so much
as he dislikes D. Well, except for Producer Dad. “He’s going to keep us on a much tighter
leash. I don’t know what that means, really, but I won't let it stop my from being with you.
Not at all. I’ll appease him, but I won’t let anything come between us.” Yoongi shakes his
head.

“I fucking hate him.”

“I know. I’m sorry, it’s my fault,” Yoongi pulls back to look at Hoseok.

The two of them pull away to look at each other. Neither of them look good, and that’s okay.
Yoongi’s face is puffy and pink, and Hoseok’s pretty much the same, with a little bit of snot
that he’s done his best to wipe away. They both feel self-conscious about what they must look
like right now, but even if they both looked as awful as they feel like they do, it’s not like that
really matters anyway. Yoongi would love Hoseok even if he looked like the bottom of a
shoe. They both think each other look gorgeous, in all the ways that gorgeous doesn’t quite
mean. Shiny face, teary, blood shot eyes, nose pink on the sides, and somehow, even
individual eyebrow hairs look like they’ve been through something.

“I don’t care,” Hoseok tells him. “Honestly and truly, tonight was the best night of my life.”

“Me too,” he kisses the top of Hoseok’s head. “Don’t know if you could call it night
anymore,” Yoongi looks towards the window, but Hoseok doesn’t bother. Vacantly, Hoseok
thinks he hears the sound of rain. Maybe that’s what they need right now. The rain will wash
away the broken night.

“How did you know I was in here?” Hoseok asks, looking around to remember that he’s not
in his own room. The other three have gathered at the far end of the room to give them space.
They’re all looking down at their bare feet and trying to look somber. It’s probably not an act,
it’s very difficult to have a good time when someone you care about is having a bad time.

“Joon heard me come up the stairs, made sure to give me directions,” Yoongi says. “You
know I’ll beat that guy up for you, right? If D scares you that much I’ll beat him up.”

Hoseok makes a sound that doesn’t quite register as a laugh. “Yeah, I know.”

Yoongi kisses him on the cheek and then turns to the other three. “How are you guys on
sleep? When did you wake up?”

“They woke us up a few hours ago,” Jimin says. “Not that any of us are in any way mad at
you at all. We were all just worried.”

“What were they saying while we were gone?” Yoongi keeps Hoseok in his arms still, hiding
his face under Yoongi’s chin.

“Just that they didn’t know where you were, and they thought we might. I promise none of us
were upset that you left. We mostly assumed you were hanging out, but the atmosphere in
here kind of spooked us all out. They made it seem like you guys were kidnapped or
something.”

“I’m sorry,” Yoongi says. Hoseok makes a muffled sound, agreeing.

“We’re not mad at all,” Taehyung says, approaching. “Did you guys get in a few good hours
with each other?”

“Yeah,” Yoongi smiles softly. Even though all this has happened… it doesn’t ruin it. It
doesn’t ruin watching Hoseok play on a swing set or the way they kissed, or laughing and
teasing each other while playing basketball. Hell, it doesn’t even ruin the sheer stupidity of
playing a game of strip horse in the middle of the night. “It was the most fun I’ve ever had in
my life, and that’s no exaggeration.”

Hoseok closes his eyes and hiccups. Yoongi thinks it’s the cutest thing in the world. Hoseok
thinks that he might be higher maintenance in a relationship than Yoongi is, but it’s just
something he’ll have to deal with. He’s selfish when it comes to Yoongi. He just wants him,
and Yoongi will have to put up with him. He doesn’t think anyone could be better for Yoongi
than he is, though. He certainly doesn’t feel as though someone else deserves Yoongi more
than he does, because Yoongi is all his and no one else would ever treat him the way Hoseok
can.

“We should all get some sleep,” Yoongi says.

Jungkook nods very loudly. Even if only two people live in this room, there’s still five beds.
Three of them have been stripped of sheets, but there’s enough blankets to go around.

“You should go get Namjoon and Seokjin,” Hoseok laughs, pulling his head up to squint at
the others. The room is far too bright when none of them have had enough sleep. “Like a
sleepover.”
“Yeah!” Jimin sounds a little too excited. Hoseok isn’t sure if he meant his own words as a
joke, but it does sound fun. Jungkook looks for confirmation from all parties and then shrugs.
He walks across the hall while beds are divvied up. Unsurprisingly, Jimin and Taehyung try
to figure out if it’s possible to get three people on one twin bed. Come to think of it, Hoseok
wonders why Jungkook and Jimin don’t share a bed since they’ve got a room alone. Probably
because it wouldn’t be fair to Taehyung. Gosh, that’s damn cute.

“We’re really going to need a bigger mattress when we leave here,” Taehyung says.

“Don’t look at me, I still use the same bed frame from when I was a little kid,” Jimin says. “If
we pool our money, we can get a queen.”

“I sometimes sleep with my dogs too,” Taehyung says.

“We’ll get a king then,” Jimin says. “Three guys and three dogs. What’s the worst that could
happen?”

Namjoon and Seokjin enter the room, bringing blankets and pillows with them.

“I’m not sleeping in a top bunk, you cannot make me,” Seokjin says. He heads straight
towards the completely empty bunk at the other end of the room.

Namjoon immediately checks up on his friend. He looks to Hoseok and Yoongi the instant he
walks in. Come to think of it, this is the first time that anyone in this room has ever seen
those two so intimate with each other. Hoseok and Yoongi have had smiles and stolen
glances, and all of those wonderful facial expressions that they give to each other when they
can’t be in each other’s arms, but this is the first time that anyone has seen the way that they
have no qualms in melting against one another. They truly do hold onto each other like
they’ve been in love since the beginning of time.

“How are you?” Namjoon asks.

“I think I’ll be better with some sleep,” Hoseok says. His eyes are incredibly difficult to keep
open, crying and fatigue are racing against his consciousness right now. He looks around and
realizes that he and Yoongi are still on the floor from when he jumped at him earlier. In the
corner, Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook are playing rock, paper, scissors. The results
apparently determine that Jimin gets to sleep in the middle, which he looks very happy about.

One way or another, they all end up in one bed or another. Namjoon and Seokjin are the only
ones who have their own beds. Though it requires elite Tetris skills, Jungkook, Jimin, and
Taehyung end up in one bed. No one remembers to turn out the light and considering that
Seokjin is in a bottom bunk, he is democratically voted to go turn the light off.

Once the room is dark, the room is completely new. Voices shut off and it’s just quiet. Now
the rain on the window is distinct enough to be heard over the sounds of breathing.

Yoongi is the big spoon, and it feels appropriate. Before Yoongi can even say goodnight,
Hoseok is completely out. It’s alarming how quick he falls into sleep, but it just goes to show
how stressful his day has been. Yoongi is thankful for it. Hoseok really needs a reboot and
 sleeping will do that for him. Yoongi presses his nose into the back of Hoseok’s hair, because
it’s too soft not to. He can’t help but to pain soft circles into the side of Hoseok’s hip where
his hand rests.

“I love you Hoseok,” he whispers so softly that even if Hoseok were awake he wouldn’t hear
it. “I love you so much.”

Chapter End Notes

Wow, so BE is a thing that exists now and I feel cleansed. Comment prompt is rather on
the nose this week, please just tell me your favorite song off of the album! I like Dis-
ease.
 Nobody Likes You When You're (Chapter) 23
Chapter Summary

Another monster of a chapter.

Chapter Notes

Small warning for a little bit of slut shaming at the beginning of this chapter. And then a
lot of horniness for the rest of the chapter.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

{{

(The Bachelor: Boys Will Be Boys SK Interview Dick “D” Head #55)

I literally felt like I could kill someone last night. I was woken up at the [censored] of the
night, and for what? For Yoongi to have just runaway with that Hoseok bitch? Nah, that
[censored] ain’t a good enough reason for me to be woken up. I was like, the only person not
pissed off? All those other guys were worried or some [censored], but there I was, the only
person who seemed to realize that they were just pulling some stupid prank or whatever.

I’m completely over this show. I’m completely done. Yoongi is a [censored], everyone else is
a [censored], and I’m literally the only person of any merit, but it doesn’t even seem like
Yoongi cares about me anymore? For the first few weeks, he was definitely falling in love
with me, but now he’s been bewitched by that Hoseok guy? He hasn’t even taken me on a
solo date, which is ridiculous, because the show is nearly over and we’ve barely ever even
interacted, like what does this guy think he’s doing stringing me a long like that. It’s fine, it’s
not like I was ever into him in the first place.

If you ask me, Hoseok is a [censored]. He’ll probably spread his legs for anybody if he
thinks it’ll give him attention. I don’t think he even cares about Yoongi, he just wants to be
famous. I bet that’s why Yoongi is so in love with him, just because Hoseok is willing to give
out whenever he wants to. He should have a little dignity, but I don’t think he even tries to
hide it. I can’t remember how many times he hasn’t come back to our room at night, and then
he pretends like he’s some innocent boy? I’m not an idiot.

I don’t think I have any respect for either of them at this point. Yoongi is shameless and
Hoseok is a [censored]. I think I’m the only person in this godforsaken mansion with a sense
of decency.
 Whatever, Yoongi and Hoseok can [censored] each other all they want, but that relationship
is never going to last. I would almost feel bad for him if he wasn’t stupid enough to let
Hoseok walk all over him like that.

**Notes from the director: Can we get him to say this in front of the other contestants?

}}

The sleepover is interrupted at about eleven in the morning. The fact that the crew were so
courteous as to let Yoongi sleep in for that long is pretty impressive. He’s supposed to have a
date today, he thinks. He doesn’t know if he’s going to be able to do that. He thinks he’s
going to pass out from tiredness and it’s the kind of tired that coffee can’t fix. When he’s
awoken, Hoseok is practically on top of him and he isn’t bothered by that one bit.

“Yoongi?” the person knocking on the door says softly. The knock is actually very polite,
which is how he knows it’s not Producer Dad. Also, because it’s a woman’s voice. Did they
hire someone new or has this secret nice person always been here and never gotten a chance
to make herself known?

Hoseok is not awake, his head is against Yoongi’s chest and one of his arms is draped over
him. Even Hoseok’s legs are tangled with his. Only a monster would ever wake him up from
this sleep, and he’s not going to do it now.

“Can I help you?” he grumbles, hopefully loud enough to be heard, but if not, he’s not
speaking any louder because he doesn’t want to wake up Hoseok.

Around the room, heads pop up from different places, though Jungkook, the littlest spoon,
looks like a dead body when he’s asleep and it might take a bucket of ice to make him
conscious. Namjoon is on the bunk above Seokjin and looks around, questioning where he is
and how he got here. Seokjin is the kind of person who considers murder every time someone
wakes him up, so at the sound of Yoongi’s voice, he puts his blanket over his head and tries
to not exist.

“Um, it’s past eleven, and you’re wanted outside to get ready for your date.”

“Okay,” he says. By ‘okay’ what he doesn’t mean is that he’s going to get up now, it’s more
of a recognition that he heard the words coming out of her mouth.

“Can you be down in fifteen minutes?” she asks.

“No, I’m not going on a date today. Date’s cancelled.” He doesn’t know if he has that kind of
authority. He’s also pretty sure that Producer Dad will attempt to rip his head off, but can he
honestly expect him to wake up after the night everyone had? He hasn’t even picked a date
yet, but whoever he were to pick has also not slept that much. Now that it’s the morning, and
there’s a little bit of sleep in his engine, he’s not as scared of Producer Dad. He’s ready to
hike up his sleeves and enter the ring.

“Um…” she says.

“I’m not in a mental or physical state to go on a date right now. There’s simply no way to do
it. Just postpone until tomorrow, or cancel it altogether, because I am way too tired, and I
really fucking deserve a mental break.”

She pauses for a very long moment. Seokjin’s head pops out like a groundhog and he’s sizing
up his pillow to determine if it’s big enough to make a sound when he throws it at the door.

“I’ll go talk to my boss and see what he says.”

“Tell him if he has a problem with it that he can suck my dick.”

Hoseok giggles, and Yoongi looks at him, or at the top of his head which is all that he can
see. He wonders if he’s been awake this whole time and was just pretending so that he
wouldn’t have to get up. Yoongi is defenseless, of course, so he just rubs Hoseok’s back and
kisses the top of his head.

“Can we go back to bed yet?” Taehyung’s voice comes from somewhere amongst the
blankets and the legs in the bed nearest to the door.

“Go to sleep,” Seokjin responds. Namjoon and Yoongi are the only two with their eyes open
and Namjoon looks like he’s considering getting out of bed. His eyes don’t look too sleepy,
and Yoongi envies whatever he’s on. He longs for sleep, but he needs to hold Hoseok closer
to his body and snuggle him like a teddy bear in order to be comfortable.

“Go to sleep,” Yoongi repeats against his hair. Hoseok makes a soft sound and somehow
managers to scoot closer to him.

Yoongi isn’t sure if there’s even a minute before they’re both asleep again. He has no
recollection of any time after saying that and being unconscious. He’s also not sure how long
he stays asleep before someone turns on the shower and he blinks himself awake. Time has
definitely passed since he woke up, because he feels groggy, and the light has changed in the
window. When he went to sleep after being woken up, the curtains were most certainly
drawn, but someone has pulled them open to expose the perfectly white sky outside. It’s no
longer raining, and it’s up for debate whether it will rain again or not.

Hoseok is lazily playing with the tassels on the sweatshirt he gave to Yoongi, so he must have
been awake for some time. He’s still on top of him, though Yoongi’s arm might be asleep
because of where Hoseok’s head is. The only parts of him he feels are the parts that are
touching Hoseok. Except his arm, which does not feel like it’s attached to his body.

Yoongi doesn’t really bother looking around the room to see who else is awake, he just dives
headfirst into a kiss with Hoseok. Hoseok’s a little bit caught off guard but makes up for it
with haste. His breath smells awful, but Yoongi doesn’t care. Besides, his breath probably
smells worse.

Someone throws a pillow at them. Jimin’s voice says, “get a room.”

Deciding that kissing Yoongi is more important than getting along with his friends, Hoseok
pulls up a blanket over their heads and kisses him even harder. It’s way too much when
Yoongi is barely awake, but he lets Hoseok take the wheel and do what he wants. Yoongi puts
his hands on Hoseok’s face and makes sure he doesn’t leave.

“Gross,” Seokjin says.

“Cute,” Taehyung says.

After a minute or so, the blanket gets to be too humid to stay under, so they come out with
messier than your average bedhead hair. Yoongi takes a second to yawn and stretch as best as
he can without punching Hoseok in the face. He’s pretty sure that he hit Hoseok in the face
that one time that Seokjin woke them up on the couch and he’s been meaning to apologize to
him for it.

“What time is it?” Yoongi asks.

“A little past one,” Seokjin responds.

“Damn, I haven’t slept in that late since this show started,” Yoongi says.

“I miss having sleepovers,” Taehyung says, fondly. He comes to sit at the edge of the bed
Yoongi and Hoseok are sharing, because he has a habit of making himself comfortable
wherever he goes, not that either of them mind. They can’t very well stay in bed all day when
they’re in Jimin and Jungkook’s room and there are three other people here. “At sleepovers I
liked playing video games, but my friends only ever had two controllers, so we had to trade
off who played. I was always so competitive. Lots of people would never guess that I’m
competitive, because this is my personality, but I am. I mean, I’m not Jungkook but, still. It’s
only really video games, though, like when we were playing that board game the other night,
I didn’t really care.” Hoseok kind of adores how Taehyung starts a thought and then goes
with it for five more sentences than you expect him to. He truly does just talk until you stop
him.

“I think I realized I was gay at a sleepover,” Jimin says, wistfully.

“You kiss someone?”

“My friends did not mess around when we played chicken. I kissed all of my friends, and I
turned some of them as well.”

“That’s very on brand of you, Jimin,” Taehyung says, and Jimin shows off his pretty teeth.

Yoongi does a headcount and determines that it’s probably Jungkook in the shower. What the
hell, how did Jungkook wake up before him? Namjoon also isn’t here, but he has his own
room that he might be in.

“Am I really the last person up?” he asks.

“Yep,” Hoseok nods. “Don’t worry, I’ve been making sure these guys don’t mess with you.”

“I suggested drawing a mustache on your face, because that’s what my sleepovers were like
as a kid,” Seokjin says. “Hoseok vetoed it.”
“Thank you for saving my face, Seok,” Yoongi says. He decides to sit up, which is not great
for his will to live but then Hoseok follows him and puts his head into Yoongi’s neck and that
is excellent for his will to live.

“Has anyone seen Producer Dad?” Yoongi asks.

“I actually asked about him when I went to go get food earlier,” Seokjin says. “They said that
he’s taking the day off. Apparently, he needed a break from you as much as you needed it
from him.”

“Oh, thank god. He put us through the ringer last night, but I’d really rather not talk about it.
Everything after… well after,” He drifts off as he looks at Hoseok’s hand.

“Are you okay?” Seokjin asks, coming to stand in front of the two of them. “I don’t think I
asked last night. I was very tired, and a little bit grumpy, and I should have made sure
earlier.”

“I’m okay,” Yoongi nods. “You, Seok?”

“I’m embarrassed and a little mortified, but I feel a lot better today than I did last night,
thanks to all of you guys.” He doesn’t say especially Yoongi, because he doesn’t need to.
Yoongi already knows. There’s no cure for a panic attack. Such a thing doesn’t exist, and
probably never will. But if there’s one thing that can calm you down, it’s someone you love
keeping you from floating away into space. “When I came upstairs last night, you were the
first person to hug me, Seokjin, and I really appreciated that. I needed it.”

“I do kind of love you, Hoseok,” Seokjin says, and Hoseok nods. He’d say it back if Yoongi
wasn’t in the room. It’s because he doesn’t want to tell his friend he loves him before he’s
said it to his Yoongi.

“Okay, I don’t need details, but just, like, what were you actually caught doing that
embarrassed you so much?” Jimin asks.

“Let’s just say I was caught with my pants down,” Hoseok says, “Literally.”

“You didn’t!” Seokjin’s face says it all.

“No, we didn’t,” Yoongi snorts. “But what we did do is just something you guys will have to
wait to find out when you watch the show.”

“Holy shit,” Taehyung says before he starts laughing too hard and falls over on the bed.

“God, we were so dumb,” Hoseok says, burying his head against Yoongi’s shoulder. He tries
to pretend that he doesn’t exist, or maybe that only he and Yoongi exist.

“It doesn’t matter. I got to spend the whole night with you, and it was perfect.” Yoongi
chooses to ignore the fact that there are other people in the room by only looking at Hoseok’s
hand and interlocking it in his. Sweet, pretty, beautiful Hoseok. Even his hand is perfect. If
they were the only people in this room, he’d tell him right now that he’s in love. Maybe he’ll
get to do it sometime today. At this point, it’s impossible for Hoseok not to also be in love
with him. The chemistry they have is unmistakable. It’s love. It’s pure, sweet love. It’ll be a
little more raging once he gets Hoseok’s clothes off not on a basketball court, but there’s no
way for Yoongi’s love for him not to be sweet and adorable too.

“The rest of the day off,” Hoseok smiles. It might not be intentional, but he puts a hand on
Yoongi’s chest, right over his heart. Yoongi wants to tell him that he can have it. He’s allowed
to reach in and pulls his heart out, as long as he takes good care of it.

“What do you want to do today, Hoseok?”

He makes a face. “I really want to use that kimchi we made.”

“Oh, fuck, that’s an amazing idea,” Yoongi nods.

“And watch a movie,” he says.

“I get to pick the movie,” Yoongi says.

“Hmm, alright, you can pick.”

“I’m assuming these are solo adventures, and no one else is invited?” Jimin butts in. Yoongi
forgot he was there.

“You can watch the movie with us,” Hoseok nods. “But we’ve been wanting to cook together
for a little while. I’ve got to know what I’m signing up for. He makes good breakfast, but if
Yoongi can’t make me some pork then we’re going to have to reconsider things.”

Yoongi doesn’t think he means to kiss Hoseok’s neck, but he does it anyway. The two of
them cover each other with kisses for several minutes before Yoongi sighs. The other three
drift off into conversation or possibly leave the room, but it’s all fuzz in the background to
them.

“I would like to shower. And brush my teeth.”

“Yeah, you probably should.”

“Do I smell bad?” Yoongi laughs.

“You’ve smelled better. And certainly, so have I.”

Yoongi sighs. “I’m gonna keep you, Hoseok.”

Hoseok beams at him. They have difficulty parting ways, but it has to be done. Someday,
they won’t have to, they’ll share a sink where they brush their teeth together, and a shower,
and a bed. He smiles warmly as he walks out of the room. It feels different waking up on the
second floor instead of upstairs or on the couch like he’s done a few times. He feels like a
foreigner in a strange land. It doesn’t seem so bad to live on the second floor, but then again,
he never had to share his room with any of the baby eaters. He could see himself bunking
with all of them again, though not for any extended period of time.
Yoongi really does prefer showering at night, but Hoseok has been ruining his schedule. He
also ruined his sleeping schedule, though that could be more Producer Dad’s fault than it is
anyone else’s. He’ll try to wake up early tomorrow so that he can have breakfast with
Hoseok, even if it means he doesn’t get sleep tonight.

Yoongi has to stop picturing Hoseok while he’s in the shower. It goes straight to his dick. He
showers for way too long. The water is slightly too warm, and he turns into a prune
underneath it. He accidentally conditions his hair twice because he’s too focused on what
Hoseok’s hair would like under a shower head. And now that he’s seen Hoseok without a
shirt, and without pants, he has a lot more material to occupy his mind. He really just wants
to touch him. Not even sexually, not necessarily. He just wants to feel Hoseok’s body.

Yoongi stays in the shower for longer than he had planned for reasons. He only gets out when
his stomach feels like it’s going to eat itself. Maybe it makes him weird, but Yoongi brushes
his teeth before eating breakfast. Lots of people eat breakfast and then brush their teeth, but
he’s too lazy to go down, up, down the stairs.

The day passes, and rather unfortunately, he doesn’t find the time to tell Hoseok he loves
him. He’s a little annoyed with himself, but before too long they’re watching movies. Yoongi
picks the first one and then for the second, Jimin comes to join them, dragging Taehyung and
Seokjin with him. Where the other two are, Yoongi doesn’t know. He hasn’t seen D at all
today, and he’s not going to complain about that one bit.

Jimin picks the second movie so Yoongi tunes it out. He occupies the same couch as Hoseok,
obviously. He’s the little spoon, and Hoseok’s arms are around his shoulders, the two of them
covered in a blanket that’s a little bit too warm, but Yoongi isn’t about to complain when he’s
this close to Hoseok.

Taehyung wanders off to make popcorn twenty minutes into the movie, but he’s already
missed a car chase so Jimin rewinds the movie for him. Yoongi has missed the whole thing,
and is caught totally surprised to find out there even was a car chase.

“I guess I do watch too many romance shows,” Yoongi whispers, because they’ve been
having a conversation since the movie started. It’s quiet enough that Jimin doesn’t throw the
popcorn Taehyung just brought at them.

“You’re a hopeless romantic aren’t you, Yoongi?”

“I’m like, a closeted hopeless romantic. I don’t want to admit to it, but yeah, I like watching
two people fall in love, but then I’m sitting in my bed feeling lonely because how come they
have something when I don’t. I want to know what it’s like watching those shows now that I
have you.”

“I should push you against the wall and put my arm on the wall, huh?”

“Maybe a wrist grab,” Yoongi says, trying to keep his laughter quiet.

“Anything you want, Yoongi,” Hoseok says kissing his cheek. “Pick a cliché and I’ll do it.”
“Am I alone or do you also engage in shitty romantic dramas?”

“Hmm,” he says, and Yoongi can tell that the answer is no, he just doesn’t want to make
Yoongi feel bad. “I’m always open to new things. Though I have to admit, I’m more of a Star
Wars guy.”

“I bet you we could marathon a whole drama in a day and then the next day, we could do all
of Star Wars.”

“I’m going to hold you to that,” Hoseok says. Yoongi nods, and then buries himself in
Hoseok’s neck. From here, he can hear Hoseok’s heart beat just barely. God, he smells good.
He literally smells perfect. Yoongi can’t describe it, he just knows that he likes it.

“I’m hungry.”

“After this movie we can cook dinner,” Hoseok says.

“I have to make you pork, right?”

“I’m not that picky of an eater,” he says. “Certainly picker than you, but that’s because I’ve
never seen you turn anything down.”

“Food is food,” Yoongi shrugs.

“You’re so cute.”

While Jimin tries to convince the other two to watch another movie with him, which seems
like it’s going to end poorly for at least one party if not all three, Yoongi and Hoseok make
their way to the kitchen. Seokjin made dinner a few hours ago, but the two of them stuck with
their plan to cook by themselves.

Hoseok stands beside Yoongi on the counter, washing and chopping vegetables that he’s
asked to. Yoongi is humming and Hoseok doesn’t think he’s aware of it, but it’s super cute.

“You’re kind of easy to please when it comes to food, you know,” Suga says.

He shrugs his shoulders, because it’s mostly true. He’s got a sweet tooth the size of a
billboard though, and he hasn’t had ice cream in a while which leaves him insatiable. “I have
to ask the producers to add ice cream to the grocery list,” he says absently.

“I-” Yoongi starts a phrase and then stops it before it happens. He was going to say I love
you. It almost just slipped out. It wouldn’t have even registered because it’s so true that he
wouldn’t even realize he’d said it until it had already happened. “I like ice cream.” Yoongi’s
going to slap himself later when he’s alone.

“Namjoon made fun of me for like twenty minutes when I told him I like mint chocolate
chip,” Hoseok frowns. Yoongi nudges him with his hip.

“Food is food,” he says.

The two of them work rather peacefully together. Hoseok helps more than Yoongi thought he
would, and he’s good at what he does. Yeah, they’ll have no problem when they live together.
They’ll probably be the best team when everyone escapes this house. Seokjin can cook better
than both of them but he’s going to be weighed down in the fact that Namjoon has trouble
boiling water. Jimin is a hot mess, Jungkook says he can cook, but it’s yet to be proven, and
Taehyung is the kind of person who would accidentally make poison. Taehyung really would
try his best, but it would be poison. He’d apologize so sweetly, though.

“This is fucking good,” Hoseok says when they sit down at the counter where they usually
have breakfast. There are dishes and things messing up the kitchen, but that’s a dilemma for
twenty minutes from now. Yoongi does not like doing the dishes, but Hoseok doesn’t need to
know that. The dishes are Hoseok’s one biggest pet peeve, they talked about that on their
very first date in the limo ride on the way to the city. Hoseok’s head had almost been on his
lap and they stuck their heads through a sunroof. God, that was one of the best days of his
life, and he knew that even when he didn’t know he was falling in love with Hoseok.

Hoseok has always been so easy to talk to. He’s so full of joy and laughter. He walks up to
you and immediately you’re his best friend. Yoongi knows that he’s special to Hoseok, but
it’s true of everyone that Hoseok meets. The only way that Hoseok won’t be your friend is if
you specifically decide you don’t want him to be. The same is true for a few others: Jimin,
Seokjin. But no one will ever surpass Hoseok.

As per usual, Hoseok already has food on the sides of his mouth. Yoongi will never
understand how this boy can’t eat properly, but he finds it adorable. It’s his life motto that he
can get food on himself, just not his clothes.

“Where are you right now, Yoongi?”

“Hmm?” he asks, looking confused.

“You were off somewhere else. Was I there?” Hoseok asks.

“Oh,” he says. “Yeah, I was thinking about our first date.”

“Ah, how you had the biggest crush on me?”

Yoongi nods. He doesn’t get embarrassed when he’s with Hoseok, even if he blushes. He’s
not worried that Hoseok will ever be mean to him, because if Hoseok makes fun of him,
Yoongi himself will know he deserves it.

“I can’t believe we got matching shoes on our first date,” Hoseok says, before he takes a bite
of food and then laughs.

“They’re the ugliest shoes in the world, Hoseok. I shouldn’t have let you pick them out.”

“You’ve worn those things every time you leave the house, Yoongi.”

“I mean yeah, but that’s because I like them.” Hoseok laughs at him some more and then he
looks back and Yoongi can tell he’s in the same place. The minute he saw the sweater that
Yoongi picked out for him, that was probably when he was sure of himself. There were many
times over the course of twenty-four hours where he thought he was sure, but it was that ugly
rainbow sweater that wrote it in stone. He doesn’t wear it too often, because he does actually
have good clothes, but sometimes he’ll put it on late at night when Yoongi is upstairs in his
bed and Hoseok is lonely in his.

He can’t believe Yoongi let him pick out a skirt. He’s never seen him wear it except for in
that dressing room, but he’s going to look amazing when he does. Hoseok thinks it would
actually be pretty cool for a rapper to be out there defying gender norms like that, especially
if that rapper is his Yoongi. God, he doesn’t even want to think about how listening to the
mixtape for the first time is going to make him feel. He’s probably going to enter a new
world. He won’t be the same afterwards. If the sound of Yoongi’s voice when he talks does
things to him, he can’t imagine how much harder he’s going to fall for him when he’s
listening to his voice in his headphones with his eyes closed.

“How is it you and me?” Hoseok asks, letting the images of Yoongi run through his mind.
Anyone in the world who wants to can watch him fall in love with Yoongi. They can watch
all these episodes, go back to episode one to see them spiral down, down, down. There are
going to be YouTube compilations of their love story. How many people get to playback
meeting their soulmate to actually see it with their own eyes? Hoseok and Yoongi will be able
to sit on the couch just like they were an hour ago and watch themselves fall in love with
each other. That’s one of the good things he can say about this show. For being such a terrible
show, he can name a lot of good things about it. Meeting Yoongi, meeting his friends, having
fun on dates.

Rather voyeuristically, he can imagine the other cuts of the show that could be made about
Seokjin and Namjoon, or about Jungkook, Jimin and Taehyung. It’s all memorialized on film.
He kind of wants to pry into his friends lives to see them all fall for each other too, so he
hopes that there will be special episodes dedicated to them.

“What do you mean?” Yoongi asks.

“Like, how did we get here? How is this the multiverse that you and I ended up in? Because,
I just know there’s a Hoseok in another universe somewhere, probably not as handsome as
me, but we can’t all be tens, and he hasn’t met you. He never came on this show, and neither
did you, and neither of them will ever know about each other in that universe.”

Yoongi makes a face. “I don’t know if I buy it. I think we meet in all the universes.”

“Really?” Hoseok asks. “In every last one?”

“Yeah,” Yoongi nods, feeling good about his answer. “I just have a feeling about it. I think
there must be significant events that happen in all of them, right? The dinosaurs get wiped
out, humans evolve, Nas releases thr album Illmatic. You know, things that are important.”

Hoseok has a shy smile and can’t look at Yoongi, instead looking at his plate of food on the
counter. He can’t explain why that gets to him so much, but it does. Is it possible? That in a
world full of infinite universes, he’s met Yoongi in every single one? It’s not that hard to
believe, considering how strongly he feels after only two months in this universe. There’s a
universe out there where Yoongi is a prince and Hoseok is his servant, and they run away to a
forest to be together. And another world where they’re pirates who pillage the world by each
other’s side. Maybe they’re in love in every last one of them.

Hoseok falls asleep in his own bed tonight and Yoongi isn’t with him. Taehyung is above him
as usual. D is snoring as usual. Everything feels the same, like nothing that occurred last
night was real. Hoseok misses everything having to do with Yoongi. He supposes he could
just go upstairs, but something keeps him in place. If Producer Dad was so upset about what
happened at the park, how would he even react to them being together all alone with no
cameras for an entire night? Sleeping on the couch, there are five to ten shutter eyes watching
them. The sleepover in Jimin and Jungkook’s room had five other people besides them. They
can’t get up to anything in those situations.

If it’s just the two of them… well for starters, Producer Dad’s concerns would probably be
right. They haven’t been alone like that before, and what would happen is sort of inevitable.
Sex is about when they can escape for long enough rather than an if. There’s no doubt in
Hoseok’s mind that they both think it whenever they’re bodies happen to press too close
together. Honestly, all bets are off about what would have happened at the park if they hadn’t
been caught.

Hoseok rolls over onto his stomach under the covers and tries to push thoughts away that he
can’t have when there are two people in the room with him. Even if they’re both asleep, he
can’t have those thoughts.

But God, the image of Yoongi using Hoseok’s hands to pull off his shirt is something that
won’t leave him. And the way he looked trying on those skirts, and just how fair and clean
his throat is. Hoseok is only so strong.

Then again, if Yoongi decides he doesn’t want Hoseok like that, it’ll be okay. So long as
Yoongi accepts that he’s going to be a frequent visitor in all of his fantasies. The emotions he
has for Yoongi are only a little bit sexual. He loves Yoongi for his mind, his voice, his
heartbeat, well before he cares about his dick.

Hoseok resolves with the fact that he’s not going to be able to avoid this one. There’s no
amount of picturing other things that is going to rid his mind of Yoongi.

“Taehyung?” he whispers as quietly as possible. Taehyung doesn’t respond so he tries his

name again, just the slightest bit louder. So, he’s asleep. And D is snoring…

The morning routine resumes as normal. Yoongi wakes up for breakfast and Hoseok is just
the slightest bit later than he would normally be, but Yoongi chalks it up to the fact that they
had a weird day yesterday that fucked with everyone’s internal clocks. Hoseok forgets that
there’s a camera watching their every move so when he comes downstairs in the morning, he
immediately goes in for a very long kiss. They usually put a blanket or a coat over their
heads, but he’s more focused on getting Yoongi’s lips on his as quickly as possible than he is
about his modesty.

“Hoseok,” Yoongi chides, but not enough to actually get this kiss to stop. He had so many
opportunities last night to tell Hoseok he loved him, but something stopped him. It’s not that
he’s scared or worried that Hoseok doesn’t feel the same way, because he knows he does.
Without any words at all, it feels as though they’ve already said it. The actual word is just a
formality now. But it still hasn’t happened.

It’s probably just that Yoongi has never said ‘I love you’ before. He barely has practice on his
own family, so it’s something that he has to strategize. The moment needs to be right, even
though there’s no way for it not to be. He’s sure he’ll know in the moment. Though every
moment seems to be the moment when it’s Hoseok… there has to be a moment moment,
though, right?

Hoseok kisses him for an insanely long amount of time, and it has a wave effect. They kiss
slowly for a minute or two and then Hoseok’s mouth is angry, and then it’s slow again. All
Yoongi can do is hold onto Hoseok’s hips and kiss him back like he means it.

“You need coffee?” Hoseok asks him casually when he pulls away.

“What was that for?” he asks, a little wobbly on his feet.

“I missed you,” he shrugs. “I’ll make coffee.”

“Mhm,” Yoongi says. He needs to take a seat. Hoseok starts the coffee pot, and then looks
into the refrigerator. There are leftovers from what they made last night, and he considers
them. Yoongi looks over his shoulder, still in recovery from Hoseok taking his breath away.

“I’ll be honest, I sort of just want eggs and toast,” he says, and when he turns to see Yoongi
nod, he gets started. Yoongi watches him, elbow leaning on the counter, as Hoseok makes
him breakfast. He supposes he could help, but he doesn’t want to do anything besides look at
him. He’s wearing short sleeves which is never good for Yoongi’s endurance, and he’s also in
sweatpants, which is also not that great for him. As long as Hoseok’s wearing clothes – or, to
be fair, not wearing clothes – Yoongi will be interested.

Hoseok likes the way that Yoongi is watching him. He can tell he looks good today, because
he has two eyes and the mirror told him as much. Yoongi also looks good, because he’s
Yoongi. Yoongi looks so cute before he’s had his coffee. He’s not quite a person yet, and he’s
very soft. With anybody else, Hoseok imagines he’s a grouch in the morning.

There are few people who are less of a morning person than Hoseok, but he’s had to make
certain sacrifices in order to get time with Yoongi on this show. Usually, he struggles to open
his eyes before about eleven. Right now, it’s early enough that the sun wouldn’t even be up
yet if it was winter.

The coffee is done before the food is. Hoseok fills Yoongi’s cup and then puts it on the
counter beside him. Yoongi barely blows on the top before he takes a sip.

“Don’t burn yourself, dipshit,” Hoseok says.

“I was awake like a half hour before you, Seok,” he says. “I had to wait for this coffee, and I
will damn well burn my tongue if I want to.”
“You’re not the only person affected by you burning your tongue,” Hoseok reminds him, and
Yoongi sighs before nodding. He puts the cup down and watches the steam rise out of it in
much the same way that steam rises from the frying pan.

Hoseok puts the food in front of him five minutes later along with jam that Taehyung has
made a very severe dent in. It’s probably not enough for two people, and in this one regard,
Hoseok is selfish. Unless Yoongi gives him a truly devastating bottom lip, the jam is his.

“You’re cute today,” Yoongi says.

“As opposed to what I am on every other day?”

Yoongi shrugs. “I just don’t want you to forget that you’re cute today.”

“You look pretty alright too,” Hoseok says.

“That means everything coming from you.”

Today the topic of conversation is cartoons. Unsurprisingly, Hoseok still watches many
cartoons, and Yoongi promises that he will watch any animated movie or show that Hoseok
asks him to. It’s very difficult to “Netflix and chill” in good conscious to a kids cartoon
though, so that’s something that he’ll have to keep in mind.

Yoongi doesn’t want to leave him, obviously not, but right on the very dot of when he has to
get his makeup done, not even a minute over, he stands up from his stool. He’s not about to
cry over Producer Dad’s words again, but he isn’t going to give the man a reason to be a
piece of shit to him. Hoseok doesn’t let him leave without kissing him on the cheek. Yoongi
smiles on his way out of the mansion and around the side to the makeup trailer. Producer
Dad, ugly, shitty, awful Producer Dad, is waiting for him just outside of it with his arms
crossed.

Yoongi stops right in front of the trailer, looks at him, and says in the most neutral tone he
can muster, “fuck you.” He walks in before he can see the steam coming out of his ears.

He sits in his chair and gives a polite nod to the lady who does his makeup. She’s a wonderful
woman that Yoongi has bonded with. In the past weeks, he’s learned about her job, the names
of her kids, and she’s talked about her husband passing away, but she’s in a new relationship
now, and Yoongi loves that for her. She told him he can come to dinner any time he wants
once the show is over. Yoongi secretly gets a long with a couple of people on staff, a camera
man or two, the guy who does his hair, that one crew member that does shopping for the
house who you can usually convince to buy just about anything. That’s the guy who bought
Jimin his pink hair dye, and miraculously didn’t get fired for it when everyone at the network
agreed that Jimin looks good with pink hair.

“We’re rescheduling a date today to make up for the one that you cancelled yesterday,”
Producer Dad says, looking contemptuously at him in the mirror.

“If I recall correctly, you also weren’t here yesterday.”

“There are people who are just as competent as me who could have led your date, you know.”

“Why can’t I deal with that person instead of having to know you?” He looks at Producer
Dad’s eyes really sternly in the mirror, but Yoongi’s grumpy face is all squish and no bite.

“I loathe you,” He grimaces back at Yoongi. “It’s a group date, it’ll be everyone but one.”

“Good. I’m bringing Hoseok.”

“Whatever,” he says. “I’ve already planned on who you’re taking on the solo date this week.”

“Don’t tell me it’s-”

“D.”

The name makes him vomit a little bit in his mouth. Anything having to do with D makes
him taste acid. How many weeks have they been doing this show now? Six? Seven? And yet
he’s managed to avoid going on a solo date with D for all this time. But now that he’s going
to have to keep D until the final two, he supposes that he should’ve expected this. Still, he
can’t wait to be in Europe; when he gets to look at D and Hoseok standing next to each other
and push D out of the way so that he can wrap his arms around Hoseok and give him the final
rose.

He always gives Hoseok the final rose at every ceremony. It’s rather fitting that the last one
he’ll ever have to give out will go to him too. Hoseok reminds him of daffodils and
sunflowers. He’ll have to learn what his actual favorite flowers are when he gets the chance.
He’ll buy Hoseok better flowers when they leave. Not that there’s anything wrong with roses,
because they’re undoubtedly pretty, but Hoseok should get whatever he wants, whether it’s
orchids, lilies, daisies, or a flower that Yoongi doesn’t even know the name of.

“Do you think your audience will believe, even for a second, that I care about D?” Yoongi
asks. “Do you think anyone is going to be unaware of the way I feel for Hoseok? Really?”

“You’d be amazed at what good editing can make people believe.”

“Ugh,” Yoongi shudders physically. Have they really cut together footage to make it seem
like the things he’s said to Hoseok were for D? He’s been somewhat looking forward to
watching the show, but that’s going to put a damper on things.

Seeping with annoyance, Yoongi simply closes his eyes and let’s Makeup Auntie do whatever
she does to make him look so pretty. The trailer is quiet for so long that Yoongi thinks
Producer Dad must have left, and this allows him to calm down and think about how he can
fuck up the date with D. He will make sure to give the camera enough disgusted looks that
they can barely ever pan in on his face. Maybe he’ll make sure he’s in all of the shots with D
so that they can’t cut away his reactions to what D says. He’ll look like he’s having the worst
time in the world, because he will be.

What will D say about himself on the date, he wonders? He probably created an app. He also
probably saved someone from a burning building. Maybe Yoongi will pry for more
information about his lies to watch him crumble. It would give him so much satisfaction to
watch D scramble for a way to defend his obvious lies.

If D is going on a solo date, that would mean everyone else gets to go on the group date,
right? That should be manageable then, because that way he’s just having an outing with his
five best friends and his boyfriend. There’s no reason for why that should be anything other
than fun. Today will be a good day, he smiles.

“You’re going to need to kiss someone else on the group date tonight, Yoongi,” Producer Dad
says.

Yoongi opens his eyes with shock and physically turns himself in the chair to look at the
disgusting little man. His words are so ridiculous that Yoongi needs to look at him to make
sure he just heard what he thinks he just heard. “Fuck. no.” He’s never heard a sentence so
stupid and offensive in his life.

“Yoongi, there’s no dramatic tension if you’re only focusing on one contestant. I’ve let you
get away with enough, and after the incident on Tuesday-”

“Isn’t the point of the show to find love?” he asks. Every time that Producer Dad tries to mess
with his relationship it feels like his brain is trying to do advanced calculus. When he signed
up for this show, Producer Dad was on his back telling him he needed to show a semblance of
attraction to anybody, because Yoongi was so determined not to fall in love. Now that he’s
very much in love that’s not what he’s supposed to do anymore? The expectations keep
changing. He’s never cared about them, but he’s getting more and more confused. Why is
falling for Hoseok such a bad thing? Isn’t that dramatic in and of itself?

From the get-go the end of the show was supposed to be about picking someone, and Yoongi
found someone that he’s not going to settle for just for the sake of cameras. He found
someone he’s going to keep for years – depending on how well it goes, for all of the years he
has left on this earth. But that’s not good enough?

“Calm down. You can choose Hoseok at the end, but you need to create tension. You owe me
that much. Just make him jealous! It’s important for ratings. The more drama that ensues, the
better.”

“I let you keep D on the show even though I want to rearrange his face. You don’t get to tell
me to go around and cheat on Hoseok, you absolute slimeball.” Yoongi wonders what
Producer Dad’s jaw would feel like under his fist. Yoongi is so weak, and his bones are
probably fragile. If he were to hit him as hard as he wants to, he’d probably break a finger,
but that would be alright as long as he breaks something on Producer Dad too.

“It’s not cheating, it’s-”

“Dishonest and stupid. I’m not going to just make out with someone I don’t like for your
benefit. Those people out there, they’re my friends. They’re all fawning over each other.
Even if you want me to kiss someone, none of them would ever do that. And I’m– I adore
Hoseok. More than you could possibly have planned on when you cast him for this show. If
you wanted drama, you really fucked it up when you cast Hoseok, because he’s perfect. I
don’t have drama with him, it’s easy to fall in love with him, he’s easy to be with. I didn’t
plan on kissing anyone at all for this goddamn show, I hate that the cameras have gotten to
see that, but you got your blood. But that’s not enough for you? If your ratings suffer from
me being happy then I don’t fucking care. It just serves you right. People who are watching
this show only to see me or someone else in pain can fuck themselves on a cactus. I came
here to promote my mixtape, and you know that. I tried to resist falling for anyone, because I
thought the whole concept is stupid. Well, I still think the whole concept is stupid, but I’m
actually falling for someone because of it, and you do not get to tell me that that isn’t enough.
He’s everything to me, so you don’t get to tell me anything. Fuck you.”

“All we need is one kiss-”

“Then why don’t you kiss someone?” He says, exploding out of his seat. He gets in Producer
Dad’s face. The man isn’t that tall, so they’re about even as Yoongi’s eyes look as furiously
as they are now. “I am in love with that man. Completely in love with him. Furiously,
irrevocably. And there is nothing you can say or do that will get me to hurt him. Kick me off
the show, sue me, I don’t care. But the minute you come after Hoseok; I will absolutely
destroy you.” Yoongi storms out of the trailer at that. Fuming more than he can comprehend.
He doesn’t know in what state his makeup is, his hair hasn’t been touched, and he thinks he
could trigger an earthquake with his scream. He needs to be away from Producer Dad. He
needs Hoseok. Like a fish needs water, he needs Hoseok.

Yoongi finds Hoseok with the rest of the guys all gathered around the breakfast bar, most still
in their pajamas. No one notices him except for the one who really matters. He doesn’t enter
the room; he just makes a gesture with his head for Hoseok to follow him. Without any
hesitation, Hoseok puts down his mug and follows him. Yoongi hides behind the wall so that
the other guys don’t see why Hoseok is rushing off. He doesn’t want anyone to see where he
goes. Sure, the cameras will know, and even if Producer Dad follows, that’s not really his
problem. He’ll barricade the door if he needs to.

Hoseok reaches him and then Yoongi is pulling on his arm maybe a little too forcefully,
taking them to the closest place possible without any cameras, which is the first-floor
bathroom. Hoseok is still in his sweatpants and shirt, his hair is dry, but his face is shiny.
Someone who isn’t Yoongi would say he doesn’t look his best right now. He’s not made up
with powders and eye makeup like Yoongi is. Anyone who would say that Hoseok doesn’t
look perfect is blind and stupid, though. Hoseok has never looked more irresistible. This
bitch looks perfect when he’s breathing.

As soon as the bathroom door closes, Yoongi attacks him like a wild animal. Hoseok only
needs half a second of thought before he matches Yoongi’s heat, maybe even builds the heat
further. He puts his hands everywhere, kisses with his goddamn teeth, and shows Hoseok
exactly how important he is. Exactly how much he never wants to be separate from him. He
justifies to Hoseok why he would never want to kiss anyone else.

Hoseok doesn’t know what’s going on, but when your boyfriend drags you into a room and
starts kissing you like this, you go with it. He likes Yoongi like this, all desperate and sexy.

“Pulled me into the trailer,” Yoongi says, desperately, trying to stay quiet so no one knows
what’s going on in here, but he’s all breath and all mouth. This is a desperation that no one
has ever felt before, least of all him. “Told me…” Fuck. Hoseok is kissing up his jaw, right
up and along to the space below his ear. “Fuck, Seok.” He doesn’t relent, Hoseok had not
realized how much he needs Yoongi until his lips are on his, and that’s crazy because Hoseok
knows he needs Yoongi.

He kisses Yoongi’s mouth, or whatever skin he can, and Yoongi kisses him back harder. He’s
trying to get his tongue as far into Hoseok’s mouth as possible. “Told me… wasn’t dramatic
enough.” Fucking hell, Yoongi’s past the point of being turned on. He could literally fuck
Hoseok right here in this bathroom, a few walls away from the rest of the guys. He knows
they shouldn’t, but he could do it. He could very much do it. He would love to. “Told me to
kiss someone else. Make you jealous.” Yoongi laughs at the stupidity of the idea. Hoseok’s
lips, oh god his lips. Either Hoseok isn’t listening to him, or he knows exactly what Yoongi is
going to say. “I told them to go fuck themselves.”

It seems to be coming out of nowhere, but at the same time, this has been building up for a
while. Hoseok jerking off to Yoongi last night and nearly every shower is just the prologue of
whatever is happening now. Yoongi’s had pretty much the same descent.

Yoongi knows they have to be quiet. They’re a few pieces of drywall away from all of their
friends. Yoongi doesn’t know how to face the fact that that doesn’t scare or turn him off.
Yeah, sure… it’s a little weird. But anything is fine in order to fuck Hoseok right here, even if
everyone he knows makes fun of him for the rest of his life.

“You’re so fucking hot,” Hoseok says, voice gravelly against his ear. Yoongi keens and then
pushes Hoseok up against the door, pins him there. The kiss is a bonfire. Minutes of it.
Yoongi pressing himself as close to him as he can get, and Hoseok not letting him leave.
Yoongi is painfully horny right now. He can feel his dick pressed against Hoseok’s thigh, and
he can feel Hoseok’s against his. He’s ready to destroy Hoseok. He’s ready for literally
anything Hoseok. Anything at all Hoseok.

Hoseok’s hands are preventing Yoongi’s mouth from leaving his. Yoongi’s just trying to
support his own weight by propping his hands on the door. Neither of them will be letting the
other go anywhere any time soon. Hoseok’s not breathing. He doesn’t need it. Air doesn’t
matter right now. Yoongi has already brushed his teeth this morning, while Hoseok hasn’t,
and neither of them could care less. Yoongi loves the taste of his lips, his skin. He loves
everything and he wants more of it.

Neither of them is sure who’s grinding on who. It’s happening, and it’s making Yoongi gasp.
Neither of them has any plans to stop it. Yoongi wants Hoseok’s hands in his hair, so he grabs
one of them and brings it to the back of his head. Hoseok already knows how he feels about
his hair being pulled, because it’s not like it’s hard to figure out. He’s thankful that his hair
hasn’t been dressed up yet, still soft and perfect. Yoongi’s groan is slightly too loud when
there’s a sharp tug to the hair at the back of his head.

It’s way too long. It’s messy, spit everywhere, clothes getting all wrinkled up, but the kiss
doesn’t stop. Yoongi takes his hands off of Hoseok to unbuckle his belt.

“Yoongi… baby,” Hoseok says, and holy shit. No one has ever called him baby before. No
one but Hoseok should ever be allowed to say that word ever again. It can only sound right
coming from his mouth. Only him. “I want… oh fuck, you have no idea how much I want to
just… just, god, just right here.” Yoongi nods, hands moving to Hoseok’s hips. But Hoseok
grabs his hands and pulls them back up, and Yoongi can tell it’s painful for him to do it, “But
this isn’t how it’s supposed to happen.” These are words that it kills Hoseok to say, but he
knows they’re the right ones.

Yoongi whines, because that’s not fair. He wants him so much that it’s not even possible to
put into words. He wants Hoseok on his knees, or to be on his knees in front of Hoseok, more
than anything in the world. Literally, he’ll die content as long as it’s ten minutes from now
and he’s cum down Hoseok’s throat at least once.

“I know, I know, I’m sorry,” he says, grabbing Yoongi’s face and taking his mind off of the
rejection by kissing him softly this time. The kiss feels completely inappropriate after that.
Yoongi would love to have a lazy kiss at any other time than right now. “It’s just not right,
and you know that.” Yoongi does know that, but he doesn’t care. “I want to be able to lay you
out for me. Take my time with you. Don’t want to hurry, don’t want to keep our voices
down.” Yoongi whimpers. He wants that too. So much. Oh god, Hoseok.

“When?” Yoongi asks. Shooting for the day begins sooner rather than later for the group date,
god, the stupid fucking group date.

“As soon as possible. All night long.” Even if it means they get yelled at. Even if Hoseok has
to sneak up a goddamn window. Of course he’s worried about Producer Dad going off at
them again, but the last few minutes have proven to him that he needs Yoongi more than he
thought he did.

“Please,” Yoongi whispers. They’re still sort of kissing. Mostly just standing, draped against
each other, but a few open-mouthed kisses here and there.

“I’m not going to be able to stop thinking about you,” Hoseok says, closing his eyes and
resting his head on Yoongi’s shoulder. He makes a weak sound, which comes straight from
his gut, and Yoongi threads hands through his hair.

“Then don’t,” he kisses the words into Hoseok’s hair. Hoseok laughs softly.

“I won’t. I’ve gotta take care of this problem you gave me anyway,” he lifts his head and
gestures down. Just a few minutes ago, the tent in his pants had been pressed up against
Yoongi’s leg. They’ve got matching ones, and yet Hoseok says they can’t fuck. That kills
Yoongi. By all means he understands, and for the most part he agrees, but Christ does he
want him.

“I do too,” he says dejectedly. Hoseok’s unlucky as hell right now, he’s still in his sweatpants,
you could spot his boner from Russia. Yoongi’s already got his jeans on for the day, it
definitely hurts more, but he can probably exit the bathroom without being caught. Yoongi’s
boner isn’t subtle, but he’s a layered bitch and can just take off the top one to avoid setting off
any alarms.

Yoongi looks down at Hoseok’s bulge, not intentionally at first, but his eyes linger. He’s
definitely packing a hell of a lot down there, which Yoongi has learned and relearned a few
 different times. Hoseok smirks a little bit when he follows Yoongi’s gaze. He gets
embarrassed when he’s caught looking even though he knows that soon… well soon cannot
come soon enough. But just think, Yoongi is the one who made him this way. He doesn’t
need to be blushing about it at all. Maybe what he feels is pride. I made Hoseok horny. It was
me.

“I should go,” Yoongi says finally. “You should stay here.” Hoseok snorts unattractively.

“It’s noticeable, huh?” he says, which is a stupid question because Hoseok you’re wearing
sweatpants.

Yoongi smiles smugly, pulling his dark plaid off of his shoulders, and very strategically
holding it in front of him. He goes for the door, unable to look away from Hoseok, just
standing there looking like pure sin. “Think of me,” he winks before sneering and opening
the door.

“Who else?” Hoseok whispers back, though he knows Yoongi won’t hear it. As soon as he’s
left alone, Hoseok presses his back against the door and whimpers. He should have just said
yes. Then they could’ve fucked right here. God, why did he stop it? He’s never been surer of
himself in his life, and he went and sent Yoongi away! Even if it was for a good reason, he
wishes Yoongi was still here. You’re a fucking idiot, Hoseok.

Nevertheless, this problem isn’t going to take care of itself.

Chapter End Notes

Wow, sorry I'm such a tease. You'll get what you want soon enough though ;)

Comment prompt today is to cleanse our minds with something more innocent. Tell me
who your favorite BT21 character is, and if it's not RJ, please provide me with a good
reason as to why it's not RJ.
 Love
Chapter Summary

“I hate you,” Yoongi says.

“No, you don’t.” At their wedding, Yoongi is probably going to tell Hoseok he hates him
and Hoseok will respond as always with his ‘no, you don’t.’

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

{{

(The Bachelor: Boys Will Be Boys SK Interview Kim Taehyung #8)

I’m not usually asked to do these solo interviews so hi camera (waving)! I think I tend to drift
off when I talk, so no one really cares what I have to say. Oh well.

I really miss my dogs at home. I know I should probably talk about the show or about falling
in love, but you don’t need me to say that. You can see it well enough, and I’m sure there are
two other boys who will tell you all the juicy details. Right now, I just miss my dogs. They’ve
never gone this long without me. It’s not easy being a single parent, they had to stay with
their grandparents, but when I’m done with this show, I’m never letting them out of my sight
again. I’m a photographer so I’ll go home and take pictures of them and then send them to all
of the friends I’ve made here.

[Taehyung reaches into his pocket to pull out the stack of pictures he never goes anywhere
without] These are my babies. I also have a cat but he’s way more camera shy [showing a
picture of a fluffy white cat]. He usually sleeps in my closet. I think he thinks he’s nocturnal.
My apartment isn’t really big enough to get more dogs, but maybe if I move into a house with
Jimin and Jungkook they’ll let me. Then again, maybe not. I do have a tendency to form
bonds with animals. Not just dogs or cats, I’ll bond with anything. Birds, lizards, bugs, frogs.
I don’t know, I think I just don’t dislike anything. I don’t dislike people, don’t dislike
animals. I just like everyone.

[From off camera, someone asks Taehyung to stop showing pictures of his pets. This is why
he’s not asked to do solo interviews very often].

Sorry! Uh, what were we talking about? Uh, Jiminie and Jungkookie! Jungkook was my
second ever kiss. My first one was really uncomfortable. I did it on a dare, but I shouldn’t
have. I should have waited for the right person. I’ve never dated anyone either. That’s mostly
why I came on the show, because I don’t know how to date any other way.
 Jimin makes you think you’re a good kisser, because he’s really good at it. I’m still getting
comfortable. I don’t think I’m very good at it, but practice makes perfect (smiling widely).
I’m sure I’ll get better. I just don’t want to be a washing machine, you know?

Is that what you wanted me to talk about? [No, evidently it is not].

[Having a conversation with someone off camera] Yoongi? What about Yoongi? Do I like
Yoongi? He’s my friend.

Romantically? No, no, of course not. I just told you, I like Jiminie and Jungkookie.

Why would I be jealous? He’s in love and I’m maybe falling in love too. I’ve never been in
love; I don’t know what it’s like. I think I’ll know when it happens. I’m not there yet, because
it is sort of brand new. Yoongi and Hoseokie kind of launched off on the very first day. It’s
only been like a week for me. I definitely think I could fall in love with them though. I just
need a little more time.

[Deciding to ignore the questions] I wonder if people watching this show like me. Most
people I meet like me, but I don’t think that they ever really concentrate on me too hard. I’m
the kind of person that no one has anything mean to say about, but you also may not notice if
I were to just never be seen again. I’m sort of in the background. I guess that’s alright when
my job is to be the photographer, not the image, but it’s a little sad after a while. I’d like to be
a leading man one of these days.

What do they think of me? I know I’m weird, and I know I don’t always speak right, but I try
my best. I hope people can tell how much I like Jiminie and Jungkookie. I’ve never thought
of liking two boys at once. It’s a different feeling, but it’s unshakeable. I wouldn’t want one
without the other, but if I didn’t have either of them, I would be extremely unhappy. I know
it’s not very conventional, though. It’s not something I can really suppress, and I don’t want
to. I just hope people will accept me. I know there are so many people who don’t even like
the idea of two guys liking each other so three? I guess there’s really nothing I can say or do
to change people’s minds if they’ve already made them. Just know that I’m happy. I think
happiness, as long as it doesn’t hurt someone else, happiness is enough.

**Notes from the director: No disrespect towards him, but I do feel like I lost the road map
whenever he starts speaking.

}}

Now obviously, obviously, Yoongi is in love with Hoseok. That’s not a doubt in anyone’s
minds. Somewhere in his DNA it’s written that he is in love with Hoseok. It’s probably been
there since the day he was born. Yoongi came out of the womb destined to be in love with
Hoseok, and that’s saying something, because Yoongi doesn’t even believe in destiny.

However, all that said, Yoongi questions his convictions a little bit when he sees Taehyung
holding a cat in his arms like a baby. The cat is definitely on the older side, and she’s been
well fed, but Taehyung looks at her like he’s meeting his baby in the hospital room. They’ve
bonded and Taehyung only met her about five minutes ago. It’s going to be a struggle to get
him to leave her.
That’s the problem with cat cafés, isn’t it? You bond and then you have difficulty leaving.
That’s how they guarantee return customers. Somebody falls in love with Mr. Chubs and then
they’ve got to come back weekly in order to visit him. Yoongi is trying to suppress his inner
urge to baby talk every cat in sight. It doesn’t suit his image. Then again, his image is in
tatters.

Hoseok fixes Yoongi’s hair as he watches Taehyung and his cat, and he considers how
Yoongi is kind of a little kitten too. Hoseok named the giant cat that Yoongi won at the
amusement park after him, so he’s sort of come to associate cats with Yoongi. When a pretty
white cat comes crawling his way, he decides that Yoongi is most definitely a kitty.

“Stop envisioning me like I’m a cat,” Yoongi says, though as he says it, he still smiles at
Hoseok.

“It’s hard to resist,” Hoseok says. “I just want to put you in a basket with a ball of yarn and
see what happens.”

“I’ll tie you up.”

“Kinky,” Hoseok says, and Yoongi hits him in the side of his arm.

“I’ll strangle you.”

“Also kinky.” Yoongi pushes him this time, all while Hoseok laughs with pride.

Jimin comes over to the two of them, holding a cat like a sack of potatoes. It’s an orange cat,
with a chubby little face but a long body, and Jimin puffs out his cheeks as he presents the
cat, wordlessly asking if he looks like him.

“Perfect match,” Hoseok says.

“I knew it. Seokjin told me the cat’s cuter than me,” Jimin says, and then gives the cat a
pouty face. Maybe he’s waiting for his cat to tell him that Jimin is cuter.

Yoongi sighs. “Jimin, I hate to tell you this, but the ugliest cat in the world is still cuter than
the cutest human.”

“Not me, look at this face,” Jimin puffs out his cheeks again, which makes him look ten years
younger. No one is ever really going to adjust to pink haired Jimin. He’s literally so cute with
pink hair that the best you can hope for is that he doesn’t catch you staring. Jimin knows he’s
pretty and he is a showoff.

“You do give him a run for his money,” Hoseok nods.

“Aha!” he says and then walks over to Taehyung to show off.

The white cat that Hoseok had seen earlier brushes up against his leg and he looks down at
him. His eyes are a golden brown and his fur is short. He really does look like Yoongi in cat
form, except Yoongi’s eyes are prettier. Hoseok leans down to pet his back, because that’s
clearly the reason for his visit. As he pets him, he looks at his collar to find his name.
“His name is Sugar,” Hoseok says. Yoongi’s heart isn’t going to be okay seeing Hoseok
interact with this cat. He’s going to have it ingrained in his memory. He’s definitely more a
dog person than a cat person, but that doesn’t mean he can’t appreciate a cat. Especially when
that cat is next to the prettiest person in the world. Maybe he had been incorrect in what he
told Jimin. The cutest cat in the world doesn’t even hold a flame next to Hoseok.

“He’s cute,” Yoongi says, leaning down and petting Sugar’s head softly with his thumb.

“That means he’s sweet and kind,” Hoseok says. “Like you.”

“I think it’s because he’s the color of sugar.”

“Like you.”

Yoongi closes his eyes for a second and shakes his head. “You really are trying to kill me
today, aren’t you, Seok?” Hoseok nods and then picks up the cat to sit on his lap. Some cats
will disagree with that sort of thing, but this cat doesn’t mind. Sugar lets Hoseok put him on
his lap, and then stretches out like Hoseok is the fancy apartment that he lives in.

Hoseok is going to want a little dog. He’s not a very large person, so he doesn’t want a dog
that can take him down with one jump. Yoongi seems like he’ll topple over at a gust of wind
that’s slightly too strong, so a big dog would really get him. Maybe they’ll have a dog about
the size of Sugar. Sugar purrs when Hoseok scratches his neck and it makes him reconsider
whether they’ll get both a cat and a dog. Hoseok’s energy is far more similar to a dog’s than a
cat while Yoongi does have a certain lazy indifference to things like cats often do. Hoseok
chuckles as he looks at his Yoongi.

Hoseok knows how he must look right now. He’s covered in cat hair, and he’s holding the
sweetest little guy on his lap. Sugar is looking at Yoongi sitting next to him. He’s interested
in Yoongi’s hair which is the same color as him. Hoseok’s hands are so pretty. Yoongi wants
his hands combing through his hair the way he’s petting Sugar. He wishes he had his phone to
take a picture, or maybe have Taehyung take the picture so that it’s good enough to hang on a
wall.

The two of them look at each other fondly. This is a perfect moment. The sun is coming
through the window behind them and it’s warm against Yoongi’s back. Seokjin is in the
corner playing with a tabby named Tubby while Namjoon watches him looking very clearly
in love. Then there’s the other three who have claimed one cat in particular and appear to be
trying to find out who the cat likes best. The three of them are sitting in a circle, looking at
their cat, it’s the same orange cat Jimin had earlier, but he clearly likes Taehyung the best,
even despite Jungkook trying to make himself noticeable by baby talking him.

Yoongi is only vaguely aware of all that happening. Mostly what he sees is Hoseok with
Sugar on his lap and he can only think of how lucky that cat is. He doesn’t even know how
special it is to sit on Hoseok’s lap. He’s worried that he’s going to pull a cat heist. He’s going
to steal Hoseok and Sugar.

This might be Yoongi’s favorite group date yet. All of his friends are here, and there no extras
straggling along. Even so, he prefers his solo dates with Hoseok. He can’t help but think
longingly of that hammock where he kissed Hoseok for the first time. And he remembers the
way his heart spasmed when he saw that rainbow sweater on Hoseok for the first time.

Yoongi scratches Sugar absently when he looks at the love of his life. “Where are you going
to take me on dates when they’re not sponsored by TB BWBB SK OTC LC?” Yoongi
struggles through the alphabet soup that is this goddamn show.

“Oh, we’ll take a walk by the Han river at nighttime when it’s too cold outside and I have to
offer you my jacket. I’ll bring you to an art museum and take pictures of you to make all the
artwork on the walls jealous of how ugly they are in comparison. We’ll walk around a
shopping center for hours and not buy anything except for chocolate. I’ll cook dinner for you
and then we’ll watch a movie and then we’ll fuck right there on the couch.”

“They all sound cheesy, but I want them more than anything,” Yoongi says. “If I become rich
and famous, I’m going to take you all over the world. We’ll start here and do everything that
our parents told us was too expensive. Then I’ll take you to Tokyo, and Bali. Then across the
world. We’ll go to Egypt, Peru, Germany, Spain. I’ll make a photo album or I’ll post thirst
pictures of you swimming in the Atlantic.”

Hoseok smirks and then gets close to Yoongi’s ear and whispers, “we’ll fuck on every
continent.”

Yoongi turns bright pink, brighter than he’s ever been before. Hoseok laughs and puts his
forehead to Yoongi’s shoulder. Sugar is spooked by his sudden laugh and jumps off of him
onto the floor to go hang out with Taehyung instead. He’s kind of a cat whisperer, they’re all
gravitating towards him. Hoseok wonders if he’s got catnip in his pocket in order to lure cats
to him.

“I hate you,” Yoongi says.

“No, you don’t.” At their wedding, Yoongi is probably going to tell Hoseok he hates him and
Hoseok will respond as always with his ‘no, you don’t.’

It felt really good earlier to put all their cards on the table. They both want to fuck, that’s a
good thing to know. Yoongi just wishes that he was high on those particular endorphins right
now, but he’s not. Soon, though. Hoseok had said soon.

Being on the same page in a relationship is really important, or else you both get frozen in
two different places. Yoongi’s only ever been in relationships where the other guy was miles
ahead of where he was. He’s never come to a place where he knows he’s going to be the one
to say I love you first. Someone tried to tell Yoongi he loved him, and he broke up with him
on the spot, because Yoongi has not always been a very good boyfriend. It was better not to
lead that guy on then to pretend love might happen eventually.

“Hoseok, can we talk outside for a moment?”

Hoseok looks confused, but not worried. “Yeah, sure.”

Yoongi nods and stands up. Then he points to a cameraman – the one he trusts – the guy
whose favorite color is yellow. Producer Dad isn’t in sight, so Yoongi has no one to worry
about stopping him. Maybe he’ll appear from thin air like he always does, but not before
Yoongi says what he needs to say.

Yoongi holds the door open for both Hoseok and the cameraman, and he sees the other guys
give them curious stares before he closes the door behind him. Now it’s just he and Hoseok,
standing on the street, only one camera aimed at the two of them.

They’re not on any set right now, the world around them is real and it’s busy, unknowing of
who they are. If Yoongi were looking at anything besides Hoseok, he’d see that a few people
actually do recognize him. One teenage girl even takes out her phone to take a picture of him.
But Yoongi only sees the man standing in front of him. All he cares about is Hoseok.

“Hoseok,” Yoongi says, and takes his hands in his. Hoseok’s looking back at him, smiling,
but also squinting at the sun, which is behind Yoongi at the wrong angle. Yoongi likes the
way he looks in natural light just as much as he likes Hoseok under a ceiling light or by
moonlight. He always looks pretty. He’s got those little bags under his eyes which are a
constant, and Yoongi loves them. He loves his wide nose, which gets even wider whenever he
smiles. He loves more than anything the freckle on his upper lip. Hoseok plans to memorize
every mark on his body. From moles to birthmarks to scars and freckles. He’s going to find
all of them.

“You’re being so dramatic,” Hoseok laughs.

“This is going to be stupid.”

“I’m fine with stupid,” he says. “I like you, don’t I?”

“Well,” Yoongi shrugs. The band aid needs ripping off. He’s almost said it so many times and
this time it needs to happen for real. “I really didn’t ever want to say this on camera. I don’t
know how I wanted to say it, but I didn’t think it would be like this. I just figured… ah, who
cares how I thought it would go. All that matters is that it’s become important to me that…
that everyone knows. So I’m going to say it where everyone can hear me.”

“Yeah?” Hoseok smiles. Yoongi wonders if he knows exactly what he’s about to say.

He doesn’t even hesitate. “I love you, Jung Hoseok.”

“Do you now?” he asks, and Yoongi swears there’s a tear at the corner of his eye which
catches the sun. Hoseok is trying to keep his composure, but inside, sirens are going off.
Someone is throwing confetti, and some epic guitar riff is going to spill out of his ears.

Yoongi loves him. He loves him. He loves me. Hoseok’s eyes close for a second longer than a
normal blink. He could bathe in that one word. “Love.” All this time, all this running away
from cameras and hidden smiles and Yoongi loves him. He wants to say it in front of a
camera so that everyone will know, especially Producer Dad. Yoongi doesn’t just want
Hoseok to know, he wants everyone in the world to know that they are each other’s. It’s both
an I love you and fuck everyone else. Hoseok thinks it’s perfect.
“Yeah. I really do.”

“I love you too,” Hoseok says, as if it’s something you tack onto the end of a sentence. It’s
obvious, though, that’s why it seems dumb for them to say it. Not to undermine that this is
the best moment of Hoseok’s entire life so far, but it does feel a bit like stating that they both
have two feet. It’s kind of obvious. Right at the end of their legs, there they are. Feet. If it’s
not in the way they look at each other, it’s in the way they talk, and if it isn’t that, it’s the way
they kiss, and if isn’t that it’s the way they think of each other when one of them is gone. It’s
written somewhere in the earth’s crust. Jung Hoseok is in love with Min Yoongi, and there’s
nothing anyone is going to be able to do about it.

“I know,” Yoongi says, and they both laugh for several seconds at how stupid this scene is.
“They told me that I wasn’t allowed to say that word until I give out the final rose.” He kisses
him for a second, only very briefly. “But I never really listened to the rules much, anyway,
did I?”

Hoseok has total defeat in his voice when he says, “You ruin me, Min Yoongi.” Yoongi wraps
an arm around his neck and kisses Hoseok right there in the middle of the sidewalk. He needs
Producer Dad to see this and weep. He needs the entire world to know that he loves Hoseok
and he won’t ever love anyone else. He kisses Hoseok with all of the strength and breath of a
world at war. He kisses Hoseok like this is their last kiss ever.

Hoseok is smiling into the kiss, and Yoongi can tell. He loves the feeling of his lips. They’re
so soft and perfect. Hoseok’s lips taste like honey flavored Chapstick and coffee. It’s a bold
statement, but this might be the best kiss he’s ever had. All of the other runners-up are from
the same man, but this one is perfect. They do tend to kiss each other with bad breath, so this
is a fun change.

There are several cameras on them. The one held by the cameraman that Yoongi brought out
with him, and then two or three phones belonging to people who’ve seen the show. Neither of
them has any idea that this is going to be front page news in just a few hours. Maybe they’ll
even trend on Twitter. It’s not like it matters.

Yoongi is okay to let it go on for years. The way that Hoseok is holding onto him makes it
seem like it will. He’ll only have to break in order to look at Hoseok for a few seconds to
remember the perfect face, but air, food, and sleep will stop being required as long as he has
Hoseok.

Yoongi thought that finding his person would mean he’d feel content. Like he has everything
he’s ever wanted, and he can settle down. But that’s not at all what he feels. He wants Hoseok
and wants the world. He wants to do everything there is to do in order to make Hoseok proud
of him. He’s going to become the greatest musician in the world and win dozens of awards.
He’s going to write a book that will win the Pulitzer and dedicate it to Hoseok. He’s going to
go to the moon and write their names on it. He’ll do everything there is to do, and now more
than ever, he has the energy to do it. Before Hoseok, getting out of bed was the most energy
he could bring himself to do in any given day, but now the world has new colors that he’s
never seen before and he wants to paint with every last one.
The sound of the café’s door opening doesn’t alert either of them, but the voice of Producer
Dad saying “get back in here” does. Of course he has to ruin everything. That’s what he’s
paid for, right? To be a piece of shit.

Yoongi pulls away and looks at Hoseok. He must’ve gotten prettier in the last few minutes.
He’s always doing that; it’s getting a little out of hand. Someday, Yoongi will wake up next to
him, and his face will be too bright to look at. Hoseok will burn him up from the inside, but
at least he’s prepared for it.

“I love you,” Hoseok says.

“I love you,” Yoongi replies.

“In! Now!” Producer Dad says. What a douchebag, trying to interrupt the most important
moment of Yoongi’s life.

“You’re the first person I’ve ever told that to, you know.”

Hoseok’s smile is shaped like a heart. He closes his eyes, because the heart inside his chest is
thumping loudly against his bones. Yoongi might even be able to feel it like a drum. “You’re
my first too.”

Yoongi feels special. Hoseok seems more the type to say the L word. He probably tells lots of
people he loves them, but he’s never said it to a boyfriend before, so Yoongi is special. They
belong to each other.

“We should go back,” Hoseok says.

“I wish we could just run away,” Yoongi says, softly, and closes his eyes.

“Not yet,” Hoseok tells him. Someday, he’ll run without turning back, but it isn’t today. In
the grand scheme of things, money doesn’t matter to Hoseok all that much, so if Yoongi
actually were to get sued for breaking his contract, it wouldn’t be a big deal. They’d be
crippled by debt for maybe the rest of their lives, but it’s nothing he can’t handle. That’s one
of those ultimate questions that people ask: money or love? Would you rather be rich and
lonely or poor and in love? It’s an obvious choice. Sure he would prefer not being poor, but
he doesn’t need money like he needs to be in love. So, money or Yoongi? Money or Yoongi?
If Yoongi asked him to, he’d run away right now. Money doesn’t matter.

They come together again, lips soft and too passionate for public viewing. This must be why
people enjoy kissing. Kissing isn’t dirty – well, it can be if you make it that way, like this
morning in the bathroom – but it doesn’t need to be dirty. It can be like a Disney movie:
innocent and sweet. But it’s not worth it unless Yoongi’s kissing the person in arms. With
anyone else it’s just a chore so that you can fuck later.

Someone hits Yoongi in the back of the head. Not hard enough to hurt, but hard enough that
his nose collides with Hoseok’s and it shoots up to his sinuses. Yoongi pulls away, rubbing at
his head with annoyance to see Producer Dad’s venomous eyes, and spindely finger pointing
to the café door.
 “In.”

“Fuck you,” Yoongi says. Hoseok finds it kind of hot how much Yoongi hates Producer Dad.
Not to say that he doesn’t hate him just as much, but it’s still a little bit sexy on Yoongi.

Yoongi takes his hand and they walk past their arch nemesis with cold, hateful eyes. He gives
them just as angry a glare back. They still haven’t noticed the iPhones capturing every second
of this, and they wouldn’t care if they did notice. The news sites will certainly have
something to say soon.

Inside the café, which seems like another world, Taehyung is lying with his back on the
ground, a cat on his thighs and another cat in his arms, sitting on his chest. It seems rather
fitting of Taehyung. Seokjin has a cat toy that he’s showing off to Tubby the tabby and
Namjoon has been claimed by a tuxedo cat. Jungkook is trying to be noticed by any one
while Jimin is trying to steal one of Taehyung’s cats. It’s the kind of scene that is almost so
special that it doesn’t feel real.

Yoongi adores every one of these people. Truly and deeply. He wouldn’t know how to go
back to a normal life now that he’s met them. He has to wonder if he’s ever truly had a friend
before, given the way he feels for these five people. Of all the places to meet them, it was on
this fucking show. No one even compares. How is he supposed to hang out with high school
and college friends knowing that they aren’t Namjoon or Seokjin? How is he supposed to
bond with coworkers and go to bars after work if they’re not Taehyung, Jimin, and
Jungkook?

How could he ever have hoped to fall in love with someone when Hoseok had never entered
his life? They’re intrinsically connected, in every single universe. Here they meet on a reality
show, but three universes over and to the left they met at a grocery store, and then a few more
universes over it was a holiday trip in the mountains where their hotel got snowed in.

Right now, Yoongi is content. He looks around at his friends and the cats. Then his gaze falls
on Hoseok, always the last destination for his eyes. This is the man he just told ‘I love you’
to, and he really is content. But he knows now more than ever, that he wants more.

Chapter End Notes

Hey guys, I wrote a Sope fic that I would LOVE for you to check out! Hoseok works at
Build-A-Bear and Yoongi works at the Orange Julius that gives them discounts. It's
taken a long time to write and I'm really proud of it so please go give it some love and
attention: The Ongoing Struggles of Being A Mall Gay.

Okay, enough of self-promo. Happy Holidays to all of you, and your comment prompt is
to tell me about your favorite band or artist that no one has ever heard of but you love
more than the world. Mine is the band Young Guns who you should check out if you
like Brit rock!
 Parting
Chapter Summary

:(

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

{{

(The Bachelor: Boys Will Be Boys SK Interview Jung Hoseok #20)

I believe, truly, that I’ve never been happier. From the pit of my stomach, I just know that it’s
true. What can I say? I have the only thing I want. I beat the [censored] show and I low key
didn’t believe in this process at all! Until I met him, I had no idea just how much I wanted
him. He’s literally perfect. Before, if I had to sketch out what I look for in a person, I never
would have landed on Yoongi. Now that I know him, I never could land anywhere else. I
think he’s ruined all other people for me. Not just men either, I could never date a woman
now, because she wouldn’t look and act like Yoongi. Whatever I was into before has just
been replaced with a stock photo of Yoongi.

Yoongi and I just feed off of each other. He’s not a serious person or anything, but when he’s
with other people, he’s a little more contained, but then when I’m with him, he’s a complete
goof and I love that about him. I like being the one who can make him so unrestrained. I
actually love everything about him. I love his face, obviously, but I also just love the little
things he does. I could get into it, but it would be cliché and gushy. I’m not embarrassed, I
think I should just spare the public all of the gory details. Just know that he really is
everything.

I can’t wait until we have our own little apartment. I hope the world appreciates him the way
I do, though I know it’s impossible for anyone to care as much about him as I do. I fully
expect him to be the greatest rapper in the country, if not the world. I think everyone will
appreciate him. I know I haven’t heard his music, so I probably sound so contrived, but there
are just certain things you know about a person. There are some people, like D, if they tell
you they’re a rapper, you instantly know they mean Soundcloud. But Yoongi is way too smart
and way too good with words to not be talented. I think when I finally get to listen to his
music, I’ll probably be deceased. I’ll probably just keel over. When he talks, he doesn’t have
time to make sure his words are going to sound wise or poetic, but they do anyway, so I can’t
even fathom what his words are like when he gets to write and rewrite them.

I wonder what people think of him when they watch this show. Or me, I suppose. I wonder if
you can tell how authentic he is. Believe me, Yoongi is the most honest person you could
 ever meet. He can be very blunt, and he certainly enjoys being an asshole to the camera, but
in real life, he’s so sweet that he’ll probably melt in the rain.

I wonder what people’s reaction to us is. Did they know in episode one like I did? Am I an
audience favorite, or did people want Yoongi to end up with someone else? I bet there are
people on the internet who think Yoongi belongs with Jungkook, or who believe I belong
with Taehyung. Nothing against you if you think that, but I can guarantee you that you’re
wrong. Maybe I’m a little selfish, but I know he’s meant for me.

It’s weird to think that so many people know about my love life. I usually forget about it, but
then there are times when I talk directly to a camera, like right now, and that’s when I
remember that my entire life for the last month and a half has all been broadcast to anyone
who wants to see it. I know this show must be moderately successful since we haven’t been
cancelled, but I don’t know the scale at all. We could be a cult favorite or pop culture itself.
People might have conspiracy boards connecting me or Yoongi to each other or someone
else. It’s nice not knowing, but it also makes me so desperate for spoilers.

My life is going to be so different when we get out of here. I’m going to be dating a celebrity!
That’s going to be wild. I want him to be special to everyone, but I can’t say that it won’t be a
little weird. I don’t think I’m going to be jealous so much, but it’s certainly going to be odd
that other people will know him so deeply when they’ve never even met him. I’m sure I’ll get
used to it, but when you date someone, you usually just expect your friends and family to
care, but there will be whole audiences who care about our relationship! Maybe people will
even care about me! If you haven’t already, you should check out my YouTube channel
where I post dance covers [wink].

I guess I’ve ranted enough. I love Yoongi and hearing him say the same to me has not just
made my day, but also my year and maybe life? I don’t believe in soulmates; I swear I don’t.
But I think Yoongi and I might be the exception. Other people fall in love with each other.
Yoongi and I learn how much we already love each other. God, I sound so stupid. I guess I
just don’t care.

**Notes from the director: We should have cancelled this show week two. I know I’ll be able
to retire early because of this monstrosity, but at what cost?

}}

Jungkook actually attempts to make dinner. In fairness, it isn’t terrible. Seokjin helps him out,
but the food is definitely edible and by no means would anyone call it gross, so that seems
like an accomplishment if you ask anyone at the dinner table. Jimin and Taehyung are the
ones who this affects the most, so they’re both very pleased to learn that Jungkook at least
will not be burning their kitchen down. Taehyung might, but he’s too cute to ever be angry at
so it’ll be fine.

Hoseok, for a change, sits across the table from Yoongi. They do this when they have
breakfast, but never when it’s all of them sitting down to dinner together. Hoseok sits next to
Taehyung and directly across from him, Yoongi smiles throughout pretty much all of dinner.
He’s even in love with the way that Hoseok acts with his friends. He loves how close Hoseok
is to Taehyung and Jimin; it makes him feel full.
“What would you have even done if you had managed to steal that cat?” Namjoon asks,
looking directly at Taehyung. He stuck a cat under his jacket and attempted to walk out of the
cat café like that, but he was caught when his shirt started meowing. Also, he had a very clear
bulge in his shirt so it’s not like he was going to get very far.

“I would have cherished her,” Taehyung says wistfully.

“I don’t understand why they all went for Tae and not me,” Jungkook pouts. “I was so nice to
them.”

“Taehyung is a cat whisperer,” Hoseok says. “Actually, I think he can talk to all animals.”

“Not birds,” Taehyung shakes his head. “I’ve tried, and they don’t really listen to me.” Jimin
looks at him like he’s about to push over the table and climb on top of him. Jimin has the
most powerful personality amongst the three of them, not necessarily that he’s got more
personality, but he’s the one most likely to take the lead in a relationship.

“You could probably even talk to Producer Dad,” Yoongi mumbles. Seokjin sitting next to
him laughs and then elbows Yoongi in the arm. It’s not very polite, even if it is true.

“We’re all still going to do this again, right?” Jungkook asks when there’s a gap in
conversation. It’s hard to believe that this is almost over. The show is close to done, but that’s
not the real ending. The ending is in just a few days when two people sat at this table have to
go home. It’s not like they’re being killed off, but it is obscenely depressing to think about.
They won’t be seven anymore. They’ve been seven for so long, but soon they’ll just be five,
then three. Then it’ll just be Hoseok.

Jungkook sighs, “like, we’re all going to sit down together and have dinner and play games
and watch movies. Or we’ll all go to a cat café, or to the zoo, or rock climbing.” He blushes
when he brings up rock climbing. He and Yoongi look at each other for a second and then
Yoongi laughs. It’s so ridiculous to think about when Jungkook told him he liked him so
many weeks ago. At the time, he felt like a monster for rejecting Jungkook, but look at him
now! He is helplessly falling for Taehyung and Jimin, and Yoongi couldn’t be happier about
it.

“Obviously,” Seokjin says. “You’re mine now. All of you.” Especially Namjoon.

“We should probably have the talk,” Yoongi sighs.

“You mean how babies are made?” Hoseok jokes, and Yoongi attempts to kick him under the
table but he gets Taehyung instead. He apologizes and says, “No, like the thing we’ve been
avoiding.”

“God, you make it sound like we’re picking someone to sacrifice to the gods,” Jimin says,
with a laugh.

Yoongi gives him an evil glare, and Jimin nods and shrinks into his seat a little bit.
“At the end of this week,” Yoongi says. “Two of you guys have to go home.” They all nod in
understanding, and no one likes the change in atmosphere, but it’s something that they’ve
needed to talk about for a while now. They’ve all mostly chosen not to think about it. The fun
that they’re having together living in this house, it’s been a little piece of calmness in a world
that isn’t calm. They’re enjoying each other’s company and don’t have to worry about
anything at all. But it has to come to an end. It’s a bit like the last days of summer vacation
when you know that everything is about to change. None of them even know how they’re
going to reenter society.

“Then there will be four of you guys, including D, and I’ll have to send one more home next
week. Then, we’re off to Europe,” Yoongi continues. Why does it have to be like this? Why
can’t the show be over? The goal of the show was achieved on night one. They could have
packed everything up and gone home, but then Yoongi wouldn’t have gotten so close to the
others. Everything afterwards has just been an interesting development. Yoongi chose
Hoseok on night one, despite not knowing he did it. He sealed the deal when he gave Hoseok
that first date card. Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook, that’s just a bonus surprise. Whenever
Seokjin and Namjoon happen will be inevitable and will have people screaming “finally!” at
their TV’s.

“I think it’s best…” Jimin sighs. “I think it’s best if the first two to go are either me,
Taehyung, or Jungkook.”

“I agree,” Yoongi nods. Neither Namjoon nor Seokjin question why that’s the best course of
action. Maybe they know that Yoongi has to keep them both on so that they’ll finally get
together. Namjoon remembers when Yoongi said he’ll keep Namjoon as long as it takes for
him to confess to Seokjin and that was near the beginning of the show. Now they’re nearing
the end and he still hasn’t said anything. Seokjin is his roommate for god’s sake, he shouldn’t
be such a coward.

“As much as it’ll suck for me,” Taehyung says, “I’ll volunteer to be the one who stays behind
while you send Jungkook and Jimin home.”

They all stew on this thought. Taehyung left behind? He’s the most affectionate person here,
and he has all of his pets back home that he misses direly. He’s the person that Hoseok would
expect to want to leave the most.

“Why do you volunteer?” Hoseok asks.

He shrugs, “it’s only a week. I think I’ll probably survive being here an extra week. Besides,
neither Producer Dad nor D are that antagonistic towards me. I think they both just let me be,
so I’ll be fine.”

“I don’t want you to be the one to stay behind,” Jimin says. “I’ll volunteer.”

“Is this The Bachelor or the Hunger Games?” Yoongi asks.

Jungkook also offers to stay behind, and the resolution they come up with is Rock, Paper,
Scissors. The winner gets to decide who stays and who goes. Taehyung ends up winning.
“So, I guess that means that Hoseokie and I are roommates for another week,” he smiles and
hugs Hoseok right next to him. Hoseok isn’t about to say in front of everyone that he’s glad
it’s Taehyung, but he will think it. Taehyung has been the friend he’s most needed throughout
the run of this show. He’s the one who’s always there to comfort him when he’s sad. He’s the
one who wasn’t offended when Hoseok was jealous of him for thinking he liked Yoongi.

Namjoon looks at Seokjin. Seokjin stares back at him. Namjoon wants to just say it. He
wants to say right now, in front of everyone at this table that he’s in love with Seokjin. How
could he not be? They share a room, talk to each other through half of the night, watch
movies, cook food, and spend most of their time not on dates with each other. Of course, he
loves Seokjin. If only his tongue would stop freezing on the words. He’s lost his voice.
Wherever it’s gone, he’s not sure it’s coming back anytime soon. He can’t say anything at all
right now, certainly not a confession of love. He wishes so much that he could.

“Well, this is depressing,” Yoongi says. “What are you guys all going to do once we’re out of
here? Namjoon? You going to start rapping?” He turns to look at Namjoon, who opens his
mouth to say something, but for whatever reason, he makes no noise. He just shrugs in a way
that says maybe.

“Yoongi’s going to be the most famous rapper in the world once we’re out of here,” Hoseok
says proudly. “And I’ll, I don’t know, I’ll choreograph a dance to go along with his music.”

“Will any of you let me tattoo you?” Jungkook asks. Jimin smiles at him and winks.

“I’m afraid of needles,” Hoseok says, pointing to his ears. He’s the only one who doesn’t
have any piercings, and Yoongi is in love with it.

“You could let me do all of your promo pictures for your album, Yoongi,” Taehyung says. “I
happen to know a pretty decent photographer.”

“Plus, you’re really good at photographing cats,” Hoseok says and Yoongi blushes. Hoseok is
never going to stop thinking of Yoongi as a cat now. Yoongi shouldn’t have won him that
giant cat at the amusement park. He should’ve gotten him a giant banana instead. He does
kind of like it, though, so maybe it’s fine.

“We’re all going to be great,” Seokjin says. “I can tell. Everything is going to be amazing.”

“I can’t wait to eat at Jin’s restaurant. But not the one he works at, I mean the one he owns in
the future,” Jungkook says. Seokjin blushes uncharacteristically. He always gets a little
bashful whenever someone compliments him. He can heap praise on other people, but when
people say something sincere to him, he gets a little shy, and it’s really cute. Namjoon is in
love with him.

“Shut up,” Seokjin says, and puts his hands on his face to calm down the redness.

“I love all of you guys,” Taehyung announces, and that’s the sentiment that they all feel right
about now. It’s the lasting feeling in the air as the night drifts away from them.
Yoongi has to go on a date with D a day later and it’s such a painful experience that he resists
thinking about it. He’d love to wash it from his mind by getting fucked senseless by Hoseok,
but by the time he’s back from the date, he’s too emotionally exhausted to even think about it.
He should be in a better state when he finally gets to be with Hoseok. He thinks about him
through every second of the date because it’s the only way to bear listening to D tell him how
he helped a mother give birth on a stalled elevator.

Once he gets home from the date, Hoseok takes him out to the deck outside and tries to rub
the stress out of Yoongi’s shoulders. Yoongi finds very colorful words to describe D and
Hoseok laughs at every last one. After receiving a threat from Producer Dad, Yoongi sleeps
in his own room away from Hoseok, though it’s rough getting to sleep remembering
Hoseok’s hands and breath on him. His dick certainly doesn’t want Yoongi going to sleep.

Despite them all trying to pretend it isn’t going to happen, Yoongi stands in front of the
ballroom on Monday night breathing deeply. He doesn’t even know how he’s supposed to do
this. No other Bachelor contestant has ever been in this position before, right? No one else
has fallen in love in week one and then made best friends with five other people. It really
does feel like everything is about to end, and Yoongi has dreamed of this show being over for
so long and now all he wants is to hold onto it.

It’s safe to say Yoongi has never been so conflicted before, because no one has ever been
conflicted like this before. Nothing about this situation is normal. Yoongi is constantly
trapped between wanting things to end but never wanting them to change.

It’ll be fine in the end, and he knows that. He’ll have best friends for life, and he’s almost
undoubtedly met his future husband. It’s all going to work out in the end. But they won’t all
be in the same house together. They’ll have to actually commute in order to see each other.

He sighs. Maybe once they’re on the outside, he and Hoseok will have nights together sitting
at the counter rather than mornings. Maybe they’ll have both. At the very least, they won’t
have to wake up at five in the morning just to have a few hours to themselves. It will be fun
getting to choose where he goes with Hoseok. He really wants to try out that every continent
thing with Hoseok.

He wonders what their dog is going to be like. Hoseok is going to want something
hyperactive and playful, while Yoongi might prefer a more mellow dog. He knows for sure
that Hoseok is going to dress their dog up in little outfits because he’s already told Yoongi he
will. They’re going to be so cute walking their dog together every morning, it’s going to be
so domestic and he can’t wait.

Yoongi frowns when Producer Dad gives him the go ahead. He has to go into that room now
and send away two of his best friends. This is going to be rough.

All of the rose ceremonies so far have passed by rather quickly. Yoongi says some names,
gives out roses, and he always saves Hoseok for last. This is the first time where he won’t say
all of his friend’s names.

“Gentleman,” Host Uncle says, “If you do not receive a rose, you will have to say your
goodbyes and leave immediately.”
Yoongi gulps down on air, feeling a little heartbroken at this scene. He stands next to the
table containing only five roses. Yoongi looks at the roses. Somehow, these roses are uglier
than the ones he’s given away in previous weeks. Yoongi looks at each one individually and
tries to determine the prettiest one. He knows he stands here for too long, but that’s just
added drama, isn’t it? He’s just making tensions high. People at home will only know one
thing for sure and it’s that Hoseok will get the last rose. They have no idea who else’s names
he’s going to call.

Yoongi takes a deep breath, looks up, and he’s surprised when there’s only one person there.
Peripherally, he can see other people, but Hoseok is the brightest star. He will outshine every
last light in the galaxy, and Yoongi is lucky enough that Hoseok wants to be with him.

“Namjoon,” Yoongi says, looking around and spotting him. Now it’s unfair to say that
anyone looks bad in a suit, because they all rock it. Hoseok looks great, Jimin looks great and
so on. But there is just something about Namjoon in a suit. Seokjin must have difficulty
standing upright beside Namjoon when he’s in a suit, because it’s really heart stopping.

Namjoon walks up to him and Yoongi gives him a small smile. “Will you accept this rose?”
Namjoon looks amused but nods his head when Yoongi hands it to him. Namjoon bows
graciously, and then walks back to go stand on the side of the room with his rose. Yoongi
looks at the rest of them and all he can think of is what he’s losing. He doesn’t want to send
anyone home except for the one person he absolutely has to keep.

“Seokjin,” Yoongi says. He proceeds like always, but two roses down means he’s nearly
halfway through and that just feels wrong to him. There used to be so many, and now he’s
down to five in total. Yoongi still remembers that first night when he handed out fifteen roses.
Jimin got the very first rose all those weeks ago. Hoseok got the last one.

“D,” he says. Yoongi holds the rose out to him further from his body than you would ever
usually hand something to someone, but he really dislikes the guy and doesn’t want to get
any closer than that. He wishes his arms were longer just so that D wouldn’t be so close to
him. Yoongi could vomit remember that he had a date with this guy only a day ago.

Yoongi looks at the table. Two roses left. This is the part that will be the most dramatic to
watch next week when this episode airs. Who is going to get the fourth rose? Who is it going
to be? Yoongi looks at Jimin. His hair is so pink, and his face is so young and sweet. He’s not
as sickly sweet as he looks, he’s got a lot of spice thrown in there.

Next, he looks at Taehyung. Taehyung has childlike innocence and curiosity in his eyes.
Yoongi is always going to remember the time he talked about his stress over adult coloring
books. He’ll also remember when he didn’t know Taehyung’s name so he referred to him as
either “dog guy” or “V.” Yoongi almost laughs when he remembers that he assigned them all
letters.

The third person he looks at is Jungkook, who went briefly by the moniker “L.” Jungkook is
so goddamn special to him, and Yoongi will never understand why. He’s always been so
drawn to Jungkook, it’s always felt like he needs to protect him. He had a friend crush on
Jungkook right out of the gate, and he remembers how devastated he was when he thought
Jungkook might quit the show. He remembers telling Jungkook that someone had a crush on
him, and how cute and wide-eyed Jungkook got. He loves how easily Jungkook has fallen
into orbit with Taehyung and Jimin. He literally loves all three of these people like they’re his
brothers, because that’s what they are at this point. You don’t go through a journey like this
without becoming brothers in the end.

“Taehyung,” Yoongi says. As agreed upon, Taehyung steps forward and he accepts his rose.
Yoongi remembers how goddamn cute he was when Yoongi picked a rose for him at the zoo.
Producer Dad was so pissed at him, but Yoongi didn’t care because it was a cute gesture. It
was so cute to him when he learned that Hoseok was jealous of him and Taehyung. That
seems so juvenile when he looks back on it. Taehyung is so wonderful, and he’s such a good
friend to Hoseok, and Yoongi knows that keeping him for one more week will always be
looked back on as the right choice.

Finally, the last rose. The prettiest one of them all for the prettiest face in the room.

“Hoseok,” Yoongi says. He’s in love with the way that name sounds. It’s so perfect. It’s a
perfect name, and no one will ever have a better one. It fits him perfectly and Yoongi wants
that name on his lips until he dies.

Hoseok steps forward, trying to contain his smile, but it’s hard. He stops in front of Yoongi
and relives all of the roses he’s received from him. He remembers every last one of those
roses like he got them yesterday. He values them, even though they’ve all long since wilted
away. He keeps the fallen petals in his dresser drawer, and he’ll take them wherever he goes
from now on. That’ll be a cute story to tell their kids won’t it? These are the petals from the
roses your father gave me when we first started dating.

“Hoseok,” Yoongi says, beaming at him, “will you accept this rose?”

Hoseok wishes he could tell him that he’d accept a goddamn engagement ring if Yoongi
offered it. He also wishes he could kiss him right here. What would it matter? He’s already
won Yoongi, and the world already knows it. Even if they were to edit out all of the kisses
and the cuddling and the falling asleep together, no one would be able to censor just how
much they love one another.

“Absolutely,” Hoseok says. He mouths the words ‘I love you’ to Yoongi, and he blushes and
nods his response. Yoongi is always a little bit giddy whenever he’s near Hoseok. It’s a
sensation like finally completing a task you’ve been working hard on. Like finishing a term
paper or completing a video game. Hoseok gives him happy chemicals no matter what he
does. He could face anything if he has Hoseok by his side.

Host Uncle returns to stand beside Yoongi, and he turns to him. “Gentleman. Please take a
few moments to say your goodbyes.”

Yoongi’s heart falls now. He looks at Jimin and Jungkook and everything breaks because now
it’s finally real. It’s actually happening. Weeks of them being seven is all over in one night.
The two of them turn to their friends first and Taehyung receives two of the most bone
breaking hugs he’ll ever have in his life. His heart is racing exponentially thinking about how
much it will suck being apart from them for a week. They’ll get to see each other, but
Taehyung won’t have them for seven whole days. He’s going to survive. It’s only a week.
Then again, ‘only a week’ implies that days don’t last for eons.

Jimin approaches Yoongi first. He’s smiling, but it’s a sad smile.

“You deserve only good things, Yoongi,” Jimin says to him. Jimin is one of the few people
Yoongi’s met who is shorter than him, but he’s wearing shoes that make it so that’s not the
case. Jimin is so goddamn pretty. Yoongi remembers him stepping out of the limo nearly two
months ago with his blonde hair and his personality so bright that Yoongi actually
remembered his name. It feels like he’s seen everyone here grow into stronger people. Jimin
is just as vibrant now, but he’s more confident and more… more Jimin. Jimin is made to be
loved by two people. He’s made to be loved by everyone, but Yoongi looks at him now and
it’s so clear that it would be impossible for Taehyung and Jungkook to have ever resisted him.

Yoongi wonders, if Hoseok weren’t here, would he have fallen in love with Jimin? He
supposes it’s possible but comparing anyone to Hoseok is a tricky situation. It’s impossible
for him to remove Hoseok from his every thought and desire.

“So do you,” Yoongi says. Jimin, because he’s Jimin, goes in for a hug. It’s a long and
somber hug, different from the usual Jimin hugs, and it tells Yoongi just how much he hates
having to go. Yoongi is trying to wrap his mind around the fact that he and Jungkook are
going to get into a limo in a few minutes with their luggage, and they’ll just be gone. After so
many weeks of knowing each other, they finally get to exchange phone numbers and they’ll
probably end up in Jungkook’s apartment tonight because Jimin lives across the country.
Yoongi hopes that all roads lead to Seoul. All seven of them will live in the same city and
they can hang on to bits and pieces of the lives they made for themselves in this mansion.

“I love you to death, Yoongi,” Jimin says into his ear, and pulls away.

“Same to you,” Yoongi smiles. It’s bittersweet watching him leave the room, but Yoongi
takes in a breath and looks back to see Jungkook approach.

Jungkook is worse at pretending he’s not sad. He looks soft and almost childlike. His face
can’t manage a smile. Yoongi immediately wraps his arms around him and holds him tight.
Jungkook is so goddamn special. He’s so special. Yoongi wonders if he even knows how
special he is. Every little thing about him is perfect and Yoongi doesn’t even think himself
worthy of having him in his life.

“I’m going to miss you so goddamn much,” Yoongi says. He pulls away to look at Jungkook.
He’s frowning, and it’s both miserable and adorable. “You are honestly the coolest person
I’ve ever met.”

“I hate this,” Jungkook says, gesturing around. “I can’t believe it’s over.”

“Me neither,” Yoongi nods. “You’re going to take good care of Jimin, aren’t you?”

Jungkook shrugs. “I don’t think anyone can keep him in line.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right.” He did in fact dye his hair in the middle of a reality show just
to see if he could. Yoongi would love that kind of spontaneity in his life. Maybe he’ll ask
Hoseok to help him dye his hair blue.

“Thank you for everything,” Jungkook says, and Yoongi nods. Jungkook would have found
his way with Taehyung and Jimin eventually, but Yoongi definitely helped push it along.

“God, I’m going to miss you. You should leave or else I’m going to start crying,” Yoongi
says. Jungkook nods, and just like that, two of his best friends are gone. Things just don’t
seem quite right with two of them gone. He can enjoy the others’ company – certainly he can
thrive with just Hoseok – but it does feel like he’ll be missing a few puzzle pieces.

After the rose ceremony, D heads straight upstairs to bed, while Yoongi and Hoseok decide to
drink enough alcohol that they’ll forget why they’re sad. They leave the other three in the
game room trying to distract themselves from missing their friends. Yoongi brings an entire
six pack of beer outside and they go sit on the patch of grass near the fence where they
stargazed.

“I’m already sleepy,” Hoseok says after less than a bottle.

“You really cannot hold your alcohol at all, can you?”

Hoseok shakes his head. He settles onto the ground and then pulls Yoongi’s legs towards him
so that he can use them as a pillow. Hoseok looks at Yoongi and he can probably see up his
nose. On their first date in the limo ride, Hoseok had nearly been in the same position, but he
didn’t quite put his head on Yoongi’s lap.

“I like being in love,” Hoseok says. He pokes Yoongi’s cheek and Yoongi tries not to laugh
too unattractively. “I can say the weird things in my mind, and you’ll be okay with them,
right?”

“Depends on what they are,” Yoongi replies.

“I think I believe in ghosts,” Hoseok says. “Like I’ve never seen one, but I vibe with the
idea.”

Yoongi laughs, “I still respect you. Even though ghosts are definitely not real.”

Hoseok thinks for a second, “I watch a lot of porn, Yoongi.”

Yoongi laughs harder this time, and Hoseok picks his head up for a second to glare at him.

“Hopefully you’ll watch less now that you’re with me,” Yoongi says. To be fair, he also
watches a lot of porn, but he’s not going around announcing it.

“I could probably cut it out of my diet completely,” Hoseok says, “I’ve seen you shirtless,
remember.” He takes a swig from his bottle, which is difficult to do from a lying down
position, so he nearly spills it on Yoongi’s thigh.
Hoseok reveals stupider and stupider secrets as he works on his second beer, and Yoongi
listens intently. Occasionally he’ll throw in a few of his own.

“I’m like, deathly afraid of moths,” Hoseok says. Yoongi looks around, and he makes a note
not to tell Hoseok about all the moths that are swarming around the light next to the door. He
doesn’t need to know about those. “And heights. And zombies. And open water. And loud
noises. I’m kind of a ticking time bomb of fear.”

“You’re cute,” Yoongi says.

“I need you to protect me,” Hoseok says.

“I’m scared of bugs too,” Yoongi says. “If we see one in the house, I say we burn it down and
move.”

“That seems fair.”

Yoongi pets at Hoseok’s hair as he looks down at him. He really does have a perfect face.
There’s not a single thing to complain about. Every last piece of him is flawless. How is
someone so pretty allowed to exist. Yoongi is worried that crossing the street with Hoseok
will make cars crash. The two of them together will be the hottest couple the world has ever
seen and that’s just what the world is going to have to accept. They’re even prettier than the
other relationships sprouting out of this show. Hoseok could blow away the highest paid
model in the world.

“I love you so much,” Yoongi says.

“Me too,” Hoseok responds, smiling. He lifts his hand up to touch Yoongi’s cheek. “If we
hadn’t gotten drunk, we could’ve fucked.”

Yoongi laughs. “I think I miss Jimin and Jungkook too much.”

“Jimin and Jungkook would want us to fuck,” Hoseok says, and Yoongi snorts.

“Jimin sure would.”

“Oh yeah, Jimin would,” Hoseok says. He cuddles closer to Yoongi and grabs onto his arm
like he’s holding a pillow. He traces patterns lightly against Yoongi’s skin and it’s soft enough
that it tickles. “Things will go back to normal, Yoongi. Just you wait. We’ll hang out with our
friends so much that we’ll get sick of seeing each other. You might even get sick of me.”

Yoongi scoffs. “We both know that’s ridiculous.”

Hoseok nods. They kiss, and then Yoongi yawns and stretches.

“Bedtime?” he asks.

“Bedtime,” Yoongi nods.

“Clothed bedtime?”
 “Yes, clothed bedtime.”

“Alright,” Hoseok says. “I love you, Yoongi.”

“I love you too, Seok.”

Chapter End Notes

I'm so sorry this update took so long! I worked so hard to put out my Build-A-Bear fic,
and I've got another Sope fic close to being finished too so thanks for being patient with
me!

Today's comment prompt is for you to tell me about your first concert and/or the best
concert you've ever been to. My first was the Plain White T's in sixth grade and my best
was My Chemical Romance at the Shrine last year. Since ya girl is still a baby army I
haven't seen BTS yet, but some day...
 Too Much
Chapter Summary

Just lots of smut tbh.

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

{{

(The Bachelor: Boys Will Be Boys SK Exit Interview Jeon Jungkook and Park Jimin)

Jimin: Of course I’m devastated. It’s impossible not to be.

Jungkook: [Looking at Jimin right beside him before turning to face the camera] I don’t
want to do anything right now except lie in bed and be sad.

Jimin: [Wanting to lie in bed with Jungkook for that and other reasons] It’s hard to say we
didn’t see this coming. Because we saw it coming. Actually, we organized it. That doesn’t
mean I don’t feel like yesterday’s garbage right now standing outside the house I’ve lived in
for a month and a half. It’s not like… we’re not rejects.

Jungkook: No, we’re just casualties. But that doesn’t make it feel good.

Jimin: [Sighing] Yeah, I definitely feel like [censored].

Jungkook: I miss Taehyung the most [Jimin nods in agreement]. It’s going to be a rough
week without him. I hate to think what it’ll be like for him without us. It’s not like he’s all
alone because those are his friends too, but he belongs with us. It’s just going to be
depressing with only the two of us.

Jimin: He’s stronger than me, though. I know if I was left in there without Jungkook or him,
I’d probably be a mess on the floor crying.

Jungkook: Oh my god, don’t even mention Tae crying!

Jimin: Whoops, you’re right. He’s the kind of person who makes you cry whenever he starts
crying.

Jungkook: Tae is really sensitive.

Jimin: Yeah, he’s really sensitive. He’s also very strong.

 Jungkook: He is. He stayed behind because he’s kind of an emotional rock for Hoseok. I
think that he was the best choice to stay behind, because Namjoon and Seokjin still have to
own up to being in love with each other so obviously they can’t leave. Even if it all makes
sense, it’s awful without him.

Jimin: [Shaking his head] I think everyone is an emotional nightmare. Namjoon can’t say
anything to Seokjin, Yoongi and Hoseok are being treated like literal dirt by the production
crew, and the three of us are separated. And to cap it all off, the human STD is still in there
raking up mud.

Jungkook: We’ve all talked about how rough it’s going to be to transition back to the real
world. The last week has been spent with us all saying how much we’re going to miss this
show. But I think, I guess, now that I’m outside looking at this house, I’ve never been more
anxious for it all to be over. I don’t want to go back into that world, and I want my friends out
of it right now. It’s nice all being in the same place, but the way that this show is run… there
are a few voices out there that are just so toxic, like Producer Dad who ma---[Footage erased]

**Notes from the director: What do you mean we lost the rest of the interview? What is it, my
ex-wife? Haha. Get it? Cause she left me. Goddamn. I’m so lonely.

}}

“I have to do this goddamn live show tomorrow. I don’t even know what it is, really.” Yoongi
says. “They kind of sprung it on me this morning, I have no clue.”

Hoseok blinks at him. They’re outside, which is slightly more private than inside the mansion
itself. It’s past nine, so at this hour, the cameramen have all gone home for the night, so just
the wall cameras are recording them and there are fewer out on the porch than there are
inside. Yoongi prefers it this way, because, even while knowing someone will watch this
footage and edit it together, there is a semblance of privacy. When there’s an actual
cameraman on them, that means that there’s a whole extra human. When it’s just he and
Hoseok sitting here on this couch/booth/whatever, wall camera blinking a red light
periodically, it’s as alone as they can get without being in Yoongi’s room.

He’s not allowed to have any of the contestants come to his room. That was spelled out for
him in the rules in explicit detail. He gets yelled at for everything imaginable, even when he
follows the rules, so he doesn’t care anymore about sticking to them. He wouldn’t listen to
the rules even if he wasn’t getting yelled at, though.

“What do you have to do? Perform a dance routine?”

“I think it’s like one big interview in front of a live audience. This will be my first time
seeing people who have watched the show. They’re strangers but they’ll know who I am. I
don’t know what to do with that. I always thought my first time on stage would be
performing, but instead it’s me talking about how much I love you. I do enjoy talking about
you, but I’d really rather not have to do it tomorrow. At least when I do it here, I don’t have
to see live reactions to how pathetic we are.”
“Try not to gush too much,” Hoseok says. “Though I know it’ll be really hard when I’m this
perfect.” Yoongi pokes him in the cheek, making Hoseok giggle. “It won’t be so bad. You get
to learn how people think of us. Maybe you can intimidate someone into giving you details
about the show.”

“Oh yeah, I’m very intimidating,” Yoongi says gesturing to his muscle-less arms.

Hoseok snorts. “Don’t sell yourself short. You’ve got a hell of an evil glare if you just work
your eyebrows right.” Yoongi practices his evil glare with Hoseok for several minutes. He
gives him pointers and then they work on Hoseok’s evil glare. As it turns out, he looks much
more frightening than Yoongi, but only for a fraction of a second before his face breaks out
into one of his big Hoseok grins.

“I think we’re out of work as supervillains before we even got our feet in the door,” Yoongi
says.

“You’re too cute to be a villain. Look at these cheeks.” Yoongi doesn’t let Hoseok tease him
for a second more before he kisses him. He’s grown less and less bothered by the cameras as
time has gone by. It’s hard to care when there’s already so much footage dedicated to making
out with Hoseok. At this point, what harm can he do by kissing him more?

“You’re so pretty,” Hoseok mumbles against his mouth. The number of things Yoongi loves
about him far exceed the stars in the sky. Yoongi even loves his teeth individually. He runs
his tongue along Hoseok’s teeth and lets himself sink deeper and deeper into love.

When they kiss like this, it’s always very wet, which can’t be appealing to watch, but it is
nice to experience. Yoongi has trouble staying seated next to him, so he crawls onto Hoseok’s
lap and buries his nose against the crook of Hoseok’s neck. Yoongi gets tired of smells quite
easily. Candles, shampoos, colognes, they can only last for a little while in his rotation before
he needs to swap them out. He could never ever get tired of Hoseok’s smell though, because
it’s him. His shampoo is perfect. He smells like spices, almost like you stuck your nose into a
tea cabinet. He’s been trying to determine exactly what Hoseok smells like for the longest
time, and it’s never been entirely clear. It’s like spices and citrus. Whatever it is, you could
sell it as a candle and then pay for a private island with the profits.

Yoongi kisses him a little more aggressively than he should when they’re out in the open air.
Even if this was their own house and there aren’t cameras everywhere, it would still be weird
to kiss him this hard without four walls. But he doesn’t fucking care. Yoongi’s hand makes it
to Hoseok’s chest and finds the right spot so that he can feel his heart thump thump thump
under his hand. Yoongi imagines that their hearts are on the same beat.

Things are going down the trajectory very quickly. He wonders whether Hoseok can feel it
too. Yoongi pulls away to kiss his neck and tries to determine the best course of action to get
them from this couch/booth/whatever into Yoongi’s bed up two flights of stairs. Hoseok had
told him “soon.” Yoongi has decided that soon means now.

“I want to keep kissing you,” Yoongi says into Hoseok’s mouth.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

Yoongi makes a soft sound before shaking his head. He remembers the microphone still
attached to his collar, so he covers it with his hand. The drip of his voice is so low and
seductive that the mic might not have picked up his voice anyway. “Away from the camera,
Seok.”

Hoseok’s breath catches and he rests his forehead against Yoongi’s. “Mhm.”

Yoongi is not a teenager. He’s not. He has more self-restraint than that. Nevertheless, it is
decidedly quite important for him to get away from the cameras as fast as possible, because
even the way that Hoseok’s fingers touch his skin is turning him on. He’s not long for this
world if he doesn’t get him somewhere private.

They take a minute to coordinate their exit strategy. They have to be as sneaky as possible to
avoid detection from Producer Dad. He’ll find out eventually, but all they need to do is get
upstairs tonight, and whatever repercussions they face will be in the morning. Yoongi didn’t
have to sneak around his own house this much when he was a teenager because he was smart
enough not to date anyone while he still lived with his parents. If he had a boyfriend under
his parents’ roof, he would have been homeless at age fifteen.

Hoseok and Yoongi walk back into the house. Namjoon and Seokjin are on the couch
watching a show. They weren’t there earlier, but they’re not too surprised to see Hoseok and
Yoongi coming from the same place. If you haven’t seen Yoongi in a while and are
wondering where he’s gone, it’s safe to assume he’s with Hoseok.

“Hey guys,” Hoseok says not awkwardly at all. He looks at Yoongi whose cheeks and lips are
rosier than normal.

Seokjin raises an eyebrow at them that is so accusatory it hurts. Hoseok becomes very
nervous all of a sudden. Seokjin’s amusement is far harsher than any obscenities thrown at
him by Producer Dad.

“Well, I’m going to bed,” Hoseok says cowardly. He rushes past them and takes the steps two
at a time. Yoongi stays in the living room for several prolonged seconds. Should he stay
down here for a few minutes just to throw off suspicion? Wouldn’t that be even more
suspicious? He’s not thinking straight, because he’s about to get dicked down and he’s got a
one-track mind.

“Uh,” Yoongi says. Should he maybe make casual conversation? “What are you watching?”
It sounds ingenuine and they both look at him expectantly. Yoongi wonders if they know
what’s about to happen upstairs. Clearly, they’re not bothered. It’ll be an interesting
conversation at breakfast tomorrow, that’s for certain.

“Television,” Seokjin replies, almost as though he’s trying to be an asshole. Yoongi’s not
going to play this game with him right now. His hair is a mess, his lips are kiss swollen and
his pants are treacherous.

“Uh, good night,” Yoongi says, bowing his head. He doesn’t look at them for a second longer
before scampers off with his “Grandpa run” as Hoseok has so kindly named it. Seokjin and
Namjoon exchange a look between themselves as they watch him run off.
Yoongi meets Hoseok at the top of the third-floor stairs, just outside the one and only room
on that floor. They give each other looks; excitement maybe? Then simultaneously, they both
grab for their mic packs and throw them on the floor. Yoongi jumps into Hoseok’s arms and
he catches. Yoongi wraps his legs around Hoseok’s waist, and he holds him there, Yoongi’s
arms wrapped around Hoseok’s neck, closing their lips together. Neither of them knows how
they both mutually decided on this position, but they both knew it was supposed to happen.
Hoseok presses him against the doorframe, balances him there while he blindly scrambles for
the doorknob. Why didn’t they open the door before they did this? Once he actually gets the
door open, it doesn’t really matter.

He closes the door, presses Yoongi against it, locks it. Then he punishes Yoongi’s mouth for
being away from his for so long. The lights are all off in the room. The only light comes from
the bathroom door which is about half open. The lighting makes them both look angelic.

Yoongi’s feet somehow find the ground, but his legs would give out if it weren’t for the fact
that Hoseok is gripping his hips. Hoseok can only be an inch taller than him, if he’s even that
much, but Yoongi’s body tends to shrink when he’s next to him. He can’t keep his posture
straight, Hoseok just makes him weak all over.

Yoongi has never seen himself as being all that – ugh, he doesn’t want to think the word –
he’s never thought of himself as submissive before. But he doesn’t have agency when Hoseok
kisses him. Doesn’t have the thought to call the shots. It’s a very casual dominance that
Hoseok has, one that doesn’t need to be spoken or acknowledged. Hoseok can just be rest
assured that Yoongi will follow him.

He must pick Yoongi up again because somehow, the bed gets to be beneath him, and Hoseok
on top of him. Yoongi’s limbs are flailing, he doesn’t know what part of him he’s touching,
he just knows that he wants to touch him. He wants to feel the warmth of his skin.

Hoseok’s shirt has buttons. It’s a blessing and a curse. He can theoretically get the shirt off
without taking his lips off of him, but his fingers are clumsy and numb. He gets one button
done by himself. Hoseok helps him out with the hand that is not being used to prop himself
over Yoongi. Yoongi wants to finally see the body he’s been dreaming about every night.
He’s gotten enough sneak peeks; now he’s ready for the real thing.

“I’m going to treat you like a king, Min Yoongi,” Hoseok says. Fuck. This is how he’s going
to die, isn’t it? Just being tortured by Hoseok. Kissed so hard he breaks down. Fucked so hard
he forgets breath.

At some point, Hoseok’s shirt is thrown somewhere. Now Yoongi’s clothes are coming off by
his strong hands. He’s genuinely beside himself right now. He’s so turned on that time
doesn’t progress normally

“Cleaned up for you,” Yoongi says, “Been waiting for this.”

Hoseok fingers are so strong against his skin. He somehow manages to have a delicate and
firm touch at the same time. Yoongi puts his fingers on Hoseok’s hips, and pulls him down
before he grinds upwards against Hoseok. They both groan and all the hairs on Yoongi’s arms
stand on end when Hoseok whispers curses directly against his ear.
“Fuck, Hoseok. Fuck me,” he pleads against the softest lips there ever were. His hands
scramble for Hoseok’s pants, find a belt there, but Hoseok just grabs Yoongi’s hands, takes
one of them and bites at his wrist. How does he look like this? How is he so pretty? His face
is cast in shadow from the dark room, causing an alluring darkness in his eyes. In other
circumstances, the glare would be scary.

Yoongi ends up completely naked under him, with Hoseok only having taken his shirt off. He
has the mind to complain, but Hoseok is looking at him like he’s ready to devour. Hoseok’s
mouth opens just a little bit, like he’s in awe of the way Yoongi looks, completely exposed
and unbelievably turned on by it. Yoongi’s cock is about average, not necessarily very large,
but big enough that Hoseok could picture himself sitting on it and having a very good time.
It’s flushed red, and lying hard against his stomach, a little bit of precum leaking onto his
skin. He’s not hairy per se, he’s certainly not as hairy as Hoseok, but he’s definitely, like, a
man.

Hoseok has pictured having Yoongi like this since that morning. Actually, he’s pictured him
like this since about the time they met. He’s gotten off so many times to the thought of what
Yoongi would look like, what he would sound like, exposed like this for him. His to do
whatever he wants to. Now he gets that chance.

“Seok, please.”

Yoongi is laying on his back looking up, a little self-conscious, but that’s before Hoseok gets
down onto the floor and manhandles Yoongi to the edge of the bed. Yoongi’s mind is
swimming. He pulls himself up, balances himself with his legs hanging over the side of the
bed, looking down at Hoseok’s mouth, feeling the tip of his cock leaking. He’s more than
ready to receive what he’s sure will be the greatest blow job of his life. Hoseok has other
plans, though.

Hoseok makes a small doting sound before he presses his hand against Yoongi’s chest,
pushing him down to lie on his back again. This is definitely more comfortable, but he’d
really like to look Hoseok in the eye during this. That idea is wholly and completely swept
away when Hoseok uses his hands to spread Yoongi’s legs apart.

Holy shit he isn’t about to…

Hoseok’s mouth is agonizingly wet. The first swipe of his tongue is to the skin above his
hole. It’s so soft that it almost tickles. It’s almost nothing but Yoongi’s whole body quakes.

He leaves a small bite on his ass, teeth grazing and then tongue licking over the mark.
Hoseok mumbles something, practically says it into his skin. It’s something like, “keep your
legs open for me.” Yoongi instinctually grabs his own legs, holding them in the same position
that Hoseok has them, spread wide open for him to have better access. With his now freed
hands, Hoseok uses one to spread him apart, getting a really good look at Yoongi’s hole
which seems both too tight and also too wanting. He’s so pink, and Hoseok just needs to
taste.

The sound out of Yoongi’s mouth isn’t human. It’s a mewling sort of sound. If his hands
weren’t holding himself open for Hoseok right now, he would cover his mouth in
embarrassment. Hoseok can’t see his face, but he can tell how red Yoongi’s face gets because
he blushes with his entire body. He just chuckles to himself and begins placing wet, open
mouth kisses closer, closer, closer.

Then, his tongue. Holy shit, his tongue. Yoongi’s never been touched like this, never had
anyone between his legs like this. He has no idea what to expect, but as soon as Hoseok’s
mouth finds his rim, he understands. Christ. This is why so many people like this. Because it
feels like that.

Hoseok wastes no time, his mouth hungry for more of Yoongi’s skin, more of everything
having to do with him. Hoseok sends a gob of spit down. It should be gross, but the feeling of
it dripping down his balls and in, oh god, in. It makes the situation down there so wet.
Fingers ghosting on every sensitive part. Not breaching, just teasing.

Yoongi can’t even touch himself. It takes all of his strength to keep his legs open, because
they’re having this instinctual urge to clasp around Hoseok’s head, to keep him there and not
let him leave. He has never been this hard when he hasn’t even touched himself. It almost
feels like he doesn’t need to be touched at all for him to get off. He’s sure that he’s going to
have a wet dream every night until he dies just from the memory of Hoseok’s tongue. He’ll
wake up, not even realizing what he was dreaming about until he remembers tongue, and…
oh god, that’s Hoseok’s finger.

A long, very thin finger, going in dry, well except for the fact that it’s covered in spit. It’s
there for only a second, Yoongi can’t stop himself from clenching around it, his body trying
to reject. But almost as quickly as the finger prods him open, it’s gone, replaced with
Hoseok’s tongue. Yoongi understands now, that he never had the intention of actually
fingering him, he just needed a little space to get his tongue in further.

Yoongi whimpers desperately. Hoseok makes a low sound in response which reverberates
inside of Yoongi. Literally inside of him.

Christ, he’s can’t handle this. No one has ever eaten him out, and he had no idea it would feel
this way. Hoseok is damn good at it. He’s definitely practiced, which sends a very sudden
shot of jealousy through his body, he can feel himself clenching on Hoseok’s tongue. No one
should ever be used by Hoseok like Yoongi is right now. At least he knows that no one else
will ever get Hoseok like this again. He brushes the thought away as best as he can, but it
isn’t too difficult when Hoseok makes him feels this way.

“Need,” Yoongi’s voice is a whisper. He needs to be touched. His dick is angry for attention.

“Mhm.” Hoseok takes one of his hands away, still holding Yoongi’s ass open with his other
hand. He spits into his hand, Yoongi can feel Hoseok’s spit everywhere on him and he likes it.
He can’t believe that he likes it, but he does so much. The hand ends up wrapped around
Yoongi’s cock only a moment later and his moan is loud and high pitched at the feeling of
finally, finally, finally.

Hoseok uses slow, languid strokes. Teasing. He doesn’t even touch the tip of his cock, which
is the part most screaming out for attention. Instead he just agonizes him. It feels like he’s
drawing out the precum, which is an overall very successful task, because Yoongi’s got a
pool of it on his stomach now.

He expects Hoseok to quicken his pace, but it doesn’t seem like that’s going to happen. His
hand is so slow, and while his hand tortures him, his mouth is just eating him more and more
open.

Right now, more than anything in the world, Yoongi wants Hoseok to fuck him. His ass is
dripping with spit and begging to be filled up, but Hoseok has no intention of that. He’s going
to do this slowly, torturously. He’s trying to make Yoongi come undone in the gentlest,
slowest way possible. It’s never felt like this with anyone before. Not even kind of. Yoongi is
usually one for speed and vigor, wanting more than anything to get off, so he’s usually
impatient and heavy fisted. Not Hoseok, though, he’s trying to draw him out. Really go
through the moments. Make love to him with his goddamn tongue and his too soft hands.

“Your sounds are so cute,” Hoseok says, and Yoongi becomes aware in this moment that
Hoseok has been sweet talking him this entire time. He was hardly even aware of it. He
becomes aware now, of all of the soft mumbling that he missed, remembering a memory he
didn’t know he made of “so pretty” and “such a good boy.” Yoongi shudders. It’s too much.
How can it be too much when his actions are so careful and measured? Usually, “too much”
is hard and almost painful fucking that leaves him incapable of walking the next day. That’s
the too much that he’s used to. He’s not equipped to handle Hoseok’s version of too much.
He doesn’t know if he’s ever felt this good in his entire life.

Yoongi could cry. In fact, he thinks he might be crying. Hoseok is just so soft. He’s so calm
and warm. Sex isn’t supposed to feel this good, Yoongi thinks. Not when it’s barely anything.
When Yoongi’s still so tight and Hoseok’s hand is not giving him enough.

It seems like Hoseok is teasing him forever. Like Yoongi is left in a puddle of his own
moaning. He’s making Yoongi fall apart.

“You look so good like this,” Hoseok says, voice muffled, either because he says it directly
against Yoongi’s rim or because Yoongi’s ears have all but given out.

He can’t handle this anymore. He can’t handle it. He wants Hoseok to speed up, but he knows
he has no intention to. His legs are getting sore from being held open for so long, but they’re
locked in place, his whole body has shut down movement of any sort, because Hoseok has
him frozen underneath his tongue. He literally cannot move.

It feels like Hoseok eats him out for hours. Yoongi feels worshipped. He feels blessed and
wanted more than he has felt in his entire life. He doesn’t actually know how long it is. Easily
longer than any sex he’s ever had. It’s not like Hoseok is edging him, because he’s not, he’s
just not giving Yoongi enough, and he never would have known it, but that’s what Yoongi
wants from him. He wants to cum already, more than he’s ever wanted anything in his entire
life, but he doesn’t want this to ever end.

How can Hoseok still be going? How is his mouth not sore and how is it still so wet? How is
his hand not tired? How are his knees not killing him from kneeling on the ground for so
long?
Yoongi actually doesn’t see his orgasm approaching until he’s in the middle of it. It’s like
getting hit by a car. Nothing and then all of a sudden, the earth spins the wrong way.
Everything goes silent. His eyes press together and behind his eyelids, the screen is white and
burning, blood rushing through his ears. His heart is beating like a jump scare. He just feels
ecstasy and too much running through him. He’s not aware of the warmth of his own cum,
but he can tell it’s happening. His orgasm is harder than any he’s ever had before, and he’s
thankful his ears are too stuffed up to hear whatever sound he makes.

He’s taking deep breaths but they’re not going to his brain. It doesn’t feel like he’s taking
anything in. He doesn’t feel like a person or a living thing. He completely loses himself. It
lasts so long. Pure bliss, unaware of the world around him. It takes him several minutes,
minutes, to come back to himself. Minutes!

His eyes are actually throbbing, he has trouble opening them, because they feel forced shut.
They don’t even feel tired, in fact, he feels more alive than he ever has in his entire life.
Usually after he cums, he wants to go straight to bed, but not right now. Literally everything
about this experience has been new. He’s never felt this way before at all.

He becomes aware of Hoseok’s lips against his neck. Hoseok is marking him up. He’s trying
to send a sign to everyone else in this house that he’s claimed Yoongi. Yoongi wouldn’t stop
him even if he knew how to.

This has never happened before but all of a sudden, Yoongi makes a strangled sound. Then
he’s crying. He doesn’t know how, he doesn’t know why, he just knows it’s happening. He
puts a hand to his face, embarrassed, because it’s out of nowhere and out of his control.

“Yoongi, baby, what’s wrong? Are you okay?” Hoseok’s voice is immediately worried, and
he pulls Yoongi’s hand away from his face. He’s terrified, terrified that he’s hurt Yoongi or
that he took something not freely given to him, or that Yoongi regrets it, or any other series of
awful things.

“I’m okay, I’m okay,” Yoongi says, stuttering. “I don’t know why this is happening.” He
makes an awkward sobbing sound, as Hoseok’s hands cup either sides of his face. Hoseok
still looks terrified, not knowing what’s wrong. You go down on someone for half an hour
and the last thing in the world you want is for him to be crying.

“Did I do something wrong?” Hoseok feels like he could also cry at the mere idea of doing
something wrong to Yoongi. Not this perfect person. Not the man who he’s fallen in love
with. He’d sooner cut off his own hand then hurt Yoongi in anyway.

“No, Seok, you did everything right. Everything,” Yoongi says. He takes a few deep breaths
and tries to calm himself. “I’ve never… I’ve never had an orgasm that hard before, I don’t
think my body knows how to handle it. I’m absolutely fine, Seok.”

Hoseok makes a relieved sound, but he wants more assurance, “you’re sure you’re okay?”

“I’ve never felt better in my life,” Yoongi laughs. He still feels tears streaming down his face,
but he can’t help but to pull Hoseok face down to his and kiss him like fire. This kiss is open
mouthed and absolutely disgusting and Yoongi loves every second of it. He even loves when
they bump noses and it hurts.

“You… you,” Yoongi starts, pulling away when he remembers that Hoseok, after some thirty
minutes or more of ruining Yoongi’s life for the better, still hasn’t cum. He puts a hand to
Hoseok’s crotch, realizes that he still hasn’t even taken off his goddamn pants. Yoongi’s heart
falls when he comes to find that Hoseok isn’t even hard. How could he have just done that to
Yoongi and not even get turned on?

“Baby, I lost it about ten minutes in,” Hoseok says, when he senses Yoongi’s confusion. Oh
god. Yoongi cannot handle that. Hoseok came in his pants just because he was eating Yoongi
out. That’s literally the most satisfying and flattering thing ever.

“You’re so hot,” Yoongi says, voice going low as he pulls Hoseok’s mouth in to kiss him
some more.

The two of them kiss for years. Yoongi is trying to taste every part of his mouth, he thinks he
might taste a little bit of himself on Hoseok’s tongue. It’s weird but it doesn’t stop him. He
wants more and more of him. God, he just wants everything Hoseok all of the time.

“Baby,” Hoseok says, and god, Yoongi is starting to like the sound of that. Yes, Hoseok call
me baby. Call me anything you like. He’s only unhappy about the name when Hoseok says,
“Baby, we’ve gotta get cleaned up.”

Oh, yeah, that’s right. He’s still got cum dried over his stomach, and damn, it’s a lot. And he’s
sure that Hoseok pants don’t feel too clean either. He really wishes they could just stay here
in this moment, Yoongi wiping the tears away from his face which he knows is red and
probably not very attractive right now. His entire face gets puffy when he cries, and it makes
him feel bad about himself, but Hoseok thinks it’s the cutest thing.

Hoseok smiles at him so sweetly. How can the face that look like he’s ready to film an ad for
children’s cereal be the same face that Yoongi just fucked?

“Just compose yourself, okay? I’ll run the water.”

Yoongi nods, pulling himself up into a seating position and watching him leave. He knows he
looks awful right now. Messy and puffy and red everywhere. He’s also feeling a little self-
conscious of his nakedness. He wouldn’t say that he has anything really to be self-conscious
about, but there are moments in life where you realize you’re naked and that’s just how you
feel. The sound of the shower starting comes from inside the bathroom; the light bleeding
into the bedroom is far too white and sterile so he blinks at it. He rubs at his eyes some, gets
rid of whatever tears are left over, and takes a moment to control his breathing before he
stands up.

When he walks into the bathroom behind Hoseok, he’s more than ecstatic to find him
unbuttoning and then pulling down his jeans. Holy shit. He shouldn’t be so excited by the
prospect of seeing Hoseok naked after what just happened, but he hasn’t seen him yet.
Normally, Yoongi wouldn’t have let him get away with keeping his clothes on, but he got a
little distracted by everything having to do with Hoseok’s mouth.
Hoseok can feel Yoongi’s eyes on him, he can tell that he’s waiting. Yoongi thinks that
Hoseok hasn’t noticed him, but Hoseok can see him watching in the mirror. Hoseok smirks a
little bit, and then makes something of a show about it. Slowly pulling his boxers down,
turning around to look at Yoongi in the eyes. Fuck. That’s going to hurt when Yoongi fucks
himself on it. But it’ll hurt really good. He can definitely see where cum has dried, and it’s
gross, just like Yoongi is right now. If it weren’t for that, there is a very real chance Yoongi
would get down on his knees right now. Of the whole two people he has slept with in his life,
he has learned that he very much enjoys giving blowjobs. He’d love to try that knowledge out
on someone he loves.

Hoseok doesn’t stop looking at him. He’s trying to engrave Yoongi into his brain. He barely
glances over to check the temperature of the water, adjusting it when it’s not warm enough.
When he’s satisfied, he takes Yoongi’s hand and pulls him into the shower with him.

Warm water hits Yoongi and it feels fantastic. It would feel good without Hoseok here, but
when he is here, it feels unearthly.

The first several minutes of the shower is Hoseok cupping Yoongi’s face and kissing him
softly. There’s no rush here. Yoongi’s arms are around Hoseok’s neck. He can feel Hoseok
smiling against his lips. The earth has never moved slower. Just the two of them. Lazy
kissing, making soft sounds of contentment.

“No one has ever made me feel this way before,” Yoongi says.

“I’m glad I could be your first,” he says, in jest.

“I don’t mean just like, sex. I mean no one has ever just made me feel so fuzzy on the inside.
Not like you. You snuck up on me, Jung Hoseok. You snuck up on me in every way. I never
thought I would meet you. Never thought you would be… you.”

Hoseok whimpers. It’s not like him to whimper. That’s Yoongi’s department. Yoongi
understands why after he hears his words. “We’ve only known each other for like a month
and a half, Yoongi. I’ve kept things in my refrigerator for longer than I’ve known you. But
every time I see you... every time I think of you… you fuck me up, Yoongi. You fuck me up
in a good way. I am just so hopelessly in love with you.”

Yoongi giggles a little bit. “I hate you, Seok.”

“No, you don’t,” he grins.

“I love you,” he agrees. He never meant to fall in love. Never in a million years did he think
this godforsaken reality show could ever produce something that even approximates love.
This isn’t just puppy love or cabin fever from being stuck with the same people for so many
weeks. This is helpless, irrevocable, unmovable love. Yoongi puts his head on Hoseok’s
shoulder and pulls him closer, hoping to maybe push themselves so close that they become
one person.

Hoseok’s hands are softly caressing his shoulder blades and it feels amazing when combined
with the warm water hitting his back. “How do you do this to me, Yoongi?” he asks. Yoongi
just sighs softly. This is what it’s like to be loved. It feels right. It’s blistering and desperate,
but it’s also easy and calm.

“Let me wash your hair, okay?” Hoseok says, and Yoongi nods too quickly. He leaves a soft
bite on Hoseok’s shoulder before looking up at him to see Hoseok grabbing his shampoo
from the shelf. He puts a little more on his hand than Yoongi does, but then those long
unbelievable fingers are combing through his hair. It took a lot of fucking bleach to get his
hair this color, and even more damage shampoo to get it back to a state of softness. His roots
are showing, and he won’t be able to touch them up until the show is over.

“Your hair is so pretty,” Hoseok says, almost like he can read what Yoongi’s thinking. “You’d
look good in any color.”

“Hmmm, lime green?” he offers.

“You could pull it off,” he nods. “Though maybe something a little more subtle. Minty green.
I’d love to see that. I like it like this so much, though. I wouldn’t ever change you.”

“Not you,” Yoongi jokes. “You couldn’t pull off green.”

“You’re probably right.”

“Red though… mmm or pink. You always look good when you wear pink.”

“When this show is over, I’ll let you do anything you want to my hair.”

Yoongi laughs, “I’ll spike it. Like one of those British punk bands.”

“Alright, but I’m not going outside like that,” he says. Hoseok decides that his hair is
sufficiently washed and grabs for the conditioner. Yoongi’s shampoo smells really damn
good. Maybe it’s just because it’s Yoongi’s. He wants to put it in his own hair so his pillow
smells like Yoongi. The movement of his hands in Yoongi’s hair with the conditioner is much
slower, massaging it into his scalp.

“Fuck, Seok,” Yoongi says. The feeling of his hands running through his hair, and just the
slightest bit of tugging. It reminds him of the first day they met. When Hoseok had messed
his hair up when he complained about it. How he said that it looked like sex hair. Yoongi
wants more than anything for him to mess his hair up the right way. To justify his hair being
messy. “Seok,” he says very seriously, and he looks into Hoseok’s eyes. Yoongi pulls his
hands away and then traces one down Hoseok’s body, down, down, until it comes to his hip.
“I need you to fuck me.”

Hoseok actually laughs a little at that. “Not here, baby, we’d slip.”

“Okay, then fuck me when we go back to bed,” Yoongi says.

“Get all messy again? I don’t know…”

It has become very urgent all of a sudden. “Please, Seok, I’m like, I’m begging you. I don’t
just want you. I need you. Like literally need you,” Yoongi has never said truer words. If
Hoseok doesn’t absolutely rail him, he’s going to break down into tears, but the bad kind this
time.

“Okay,” he says, not like he needed a whole lot of convincing. Yoongi does not need to beg
for him, but holy shit is it sexy that he’s willing to. “If it’s okay with you, I’m not going to be
as gentle this time.”

“Good.”

Hoseok attacks him with a slippery kiss. He’s honestly ready to just fuck Yoongi sideways
right now, but they don’t have a condom and Hoseok is sure his balance is not good enough
to actually do it in a shower. It might be sexy for all of about one minute before he slips and
breaks his hip on the floor.

“You have protection, right?” Hoseok asks.

“Yeah,” Yoongi nods. “I’ve got everything.”

“Were you planning on getting tail while you’re here, Yoongi?” Hoseok asks, with a little bit
of a raised eyebrow.

“No, not really,” he shakes his head innocently, looking up at him. How does Hoseok look so
magical with rain from the shower falling down through his hair and across his face? Like a
goddamn angel, dripping wet. “It’s just for me.”

“Oh,” he says, with a devilish little smile. “You like playing with yourself?” he asks it so
nonchalantly considering the words that are actually coming out of his mouth. It’s not a
question even though he’s phrasing it as one. It is most certainly not a question.

“Yeah,” he says meekly. What is Hoseok doing to him? How does he have this strong of an
effect?

“What do you usually think about?” he asks.

The water is so warm but Yoongi shivers. He can feel himself turning into putty, but he gets a
very sudden burst of confidence and says, “for a few weeks now, I’ve only been thinking
about you.”

That’s the answer Hoseok had wanted to hear. His pupils dilate, lust filling him wickedly.
“What do you usually do to me when you think about me?”

“I like it when you fuck me on my back… when you look down at me. Praising me. Hard and
desperate,” Yoongi says easily. Oh god, he’s getting hard again. He usually needs a much
longer cooling off period – or maybe warming up period? – but clearly, nothing having to do
with Hoseok is normal.

“I can probably manage that,” he says, so painstakingly dirty that Yoongi just about jumps
him right here.
Yoongi is desperate now. He can feel his entire body just craving to be stuffed. Hoseok will
most definitely be able to satiate that, he thinks, looking down at his half-hard dick which has
got to be a full two inches bigger than Yoongi’s. He’s never had one that big. He’s pretty sure
he’s going to like it.

Hoseok bites at Yoongi’s jaw when Yoongi grabs the shampoo to wash Hoseok’s hair for
him. He’s doing it quickly, like he can’t wait to be finished. He can’t get them out of the
shower fast enough. Hoseok is leaving evidence of himself all over Yoongi’s shoulders and
neck. It’s going to be unbelievably embarrassing tomorrow morning, but he’s sure that the
makeup artists will just rush him to the trailer to cover it all up. He’s caught between wanting
everyone to see him all bruised and claimed and wanting to keep it between himself and
Hoseok.

Holy shit, he’s still got four other guys in the mansion, hasn’t he? They all know Hoseok is
his, but it’s a weird pretense with them all being downstairs right now. He forgets they exist
as Hoseok’s hand continues to play with his hair, pulling on it, getting the reaction he had
expected out of Yoongi. His back arches just a little bit and Yoongi grips Hoseok’s hips so as
not to fall.

“You like it when I pull your hair?”

More than you know. “Yeah,” he breathes. Then Yoongi makes the decision to pay Hoseok
back. Yoongi has what, like, three hickeys? Hoseok has to have at least one. If they have
matching marks, then everyone will know who gave them out. God, he wants the whole
world to see them. Or at least, that’s what Yoongi wants. Agust D not so much. Fuck, maybe
he doesn’t even care.

“Please,” Yoongi groans out, way too eager to just get fucked already. Hoseok is trying to be
dominant and keep his composure. He’s doing a pretty good job, because Yoongi hasn’t
noticed how desperate and needy he is right now. There are no words to describe how much
he wants Yoongi.

Hoseok reaches for the faucet behind him to turn off the water. He can’t wait any longer. Not
when Yoongi looks like that and is as desperate for it as he is.

Yoongi doesn’t even bother to grab a towel to dry off. He just pulls Hoseok out of the shower,
dripping wet, and he doesn’t settle down until he’s climbing right on top of him, straddling
him in place. At this angle, their cocks connect and Hoseok hisses. He’s been trying so hard
to keep it together, but Yoongi is bulldozing that.

“I love you so much, Hoseok,” Yoongi says. Hoseok murmurs it back to him, hopes that
Yoongi can actually find words in it. He can’t see what parts of him he’s kissing, and he
doesn’t care. They’re both dripping wet, the duvet is clinging to Hoseok’s back like a cape.
Hoseok honestly doesn’t think he’s ever been this turned on before. He’s literally never
experienced this in his life. He thought just once, that he was in love. Up until a few weeks
ago, he thought he truly had been in love. That wasn’t love, or if it was, whatever he feels for
Yoongi hasn’t been invented yet.

“Condom, Yoongi,” he reminds him, says it straight into his mouth.

“Right,” he says peeling off of him which is easier said than done. Hoseok wonders where
he’s going when Yoongi runs over to the closet. It’s way too dark, the door to the bathroom
must have gotten bumped closed in the rush, so he can’t see Yoongi digging through pocket
after pocket of his backpack, which he had thrown off into the corner the first day and hasn’t
even touched since.

Yoongi hadn’t planned on this happening, not be any account did he ever think he was going
to get fucked during this show. He just carries condoms in his backpack because he does. It’s
not like he expects anything. It’s always good to have a few on hand, just in case. You never
know when you’ll meet a hunky bodybuilder in a bookstore. Except Yoongi has never had a
one-night stand in his life and he never would. The moral of the story is that there is no good
reason for why Yoongi does have condoms, he just does, and thank god.

“I’ve only got three?” Yoongi says, voice carrying over to Hoseok, who’s lying on the bed
looking up at the ceiling. “There’s still another two and a half weeks left of this goddamn
show!” Hoseok is amused, as Yoongi walks back over to him, looking very disgruntled, that
much he can see even in the dark. He understands the point of complaint. Rationing three
condoms over two and a half weeks doesn’t sound easy considering how Hoseok would
gladly stay in bed with him for that entire time.

He just looks at this beautiful man, a universe in one little body, and feels destroyed by him.
Why does Yoongi look so cute right now though? He’s standing beside the bed, super naked,
his hair is shiny and gorgeous from the shower, everything is wet, and he’s fussing about not
having enough condoms but still Hoseok thinks he looks like a flower.

“Those three times better count then, huh?” he says.

“Jung Hoseok, if I can still walk after tonight, you’ve done something wrong,” he says, and
Hoseok snorts unattractively. A friend of his once told him that you know it’s true love when
you can be in the middle of having sex and still make time for jokes. You can be blissed out
but still laugh because they’re your best friend. He thinks he understands what that means.
Yoongi could say anything and he’d still think he’s the sexiest man on earth.

He doesn’t think he’s particularly surprised when Yoongi’s lube is hidden under his pillow.
Condoms or lube, only one of them you need close at hand at all times. That seems fair.

Once the hard work of retrieving things is done, Yoongi collapses on his back because now
it’s Hoseok’s turn. Hoseok is immediate. He climbs right back on top of Yoongi, opening his
legs before he does, and touches him in all of the places that he wants to kiss but doesn’t have
time for right now. Hips, stomach, chest, neck.

Yoongi’s whole body is crying out because finally. How long has it been since Hoseok said
“soon”? A week? That’s not soon. His body has been aching for him all of that time, and
Hoseok is finally going to take it. He has woken up nearly every morning since to the thought
of Hoseok’s touch, but he wasn’t there to give it. Now, he’s trapped underneath him and it’s
going to happen. If Hoseok would just hurry the fuck up. There’s no way for him to be more
available then he is right now without buying a billboard.

“Hurry up,” Yoongi whines, like a brat.

He’s literally so hard that it hurts to put the condom on. He’s already leaking, he’s having
difficulty breathing, he’s going to lose his composure, and Yoongi is whining underneath with
something like hunger.

Hoseok silently judges Yoongi for the consistency of the lube he purchases. Really, dude?
This stuff is like water. It’s going to get everywhere. Yeah, it’ll serve the purpose it was made
for, but he doesn’t have to buy the bargain brand. It doesn’t have to be top shelf, but middle
shelf at least, Yoongi. Hoseok supposes the benefit is that it doesn’t go on cold. A big squirt
into his hand, whoops, that was too much. Well, too much never hurt anyone. He coats his
dick with the too much, rubs the excess against Yoongi’s entrance. The internet has been
lying to you; if a guy puts three fingers up your ass, he’s preparing you for a fist, not a dick.

Yoongi’s still so tight even after Hoseok’s mouth earlier. It’s probably going to hurt. He
doesn’t want to hurt Yoongi, he’s tempted to stick his mouth down there again, but that’s not
what either of them need right now. Yoongi knows it’s going to hurt. The size of Hoseok?
That’d hurt anybody. But it is so worth it. No pain no gain. If it wasn’t supposed to hurt, the
hurt wouldn’t feel so good.

“Please,” Yoongi whispers. He notices that Hoseok hasn’t kissed him in a few minutes, so he
grabs his head to fix that. This kiss feels like their very first one. It feels soft and scared, but
right. It also feels like their last kiss ever. That’s why Yoongi needs to get as much out of him
as he can, because every kiss feels urgent like he’ll never get one again.

“I love you,” Hoseok says.

“Show me how much,” Yoongi responds. It is the sexiest thing Hoseok has ever heard, and he
can’t take it anymore. He adjusts Yoongi into the best position, right underneath him like
Yoongi wants. He looks unholy like this. He’s still wet, it’s mostly from the shower, but some
of it is sweat. His chest is heaving, and he looks like he’s already fucked out. It’s
incomprehensible. No one ever should get to see something as beautiful as Hoseok gets to see
right now.

It takes a moment for him to push inside of Yoongi. His body tries to resist, and he makes a
pained whine at the intrusion. Barely anything and already both of their breathing is erratic,
but for vastly different reasons.

“’S okay,” Yoongi tells him. He wants to be as close to Hoseok as it’s possible for two people
to be to each other. He doesn’t just want Hoseok because he’s horny, he literally wants the
two of them to be connected, and he knows that no one will ever be able to make him feel as
good as Hoseok can. Because no one else in the entire world is Hoseok. No one. He’s the
only one. Yoongi has been waiting his whole life for this man.

Hoseok doesn’t go all the way in, Yoongi’s body just feels so fragile and small underneath
him. He wants to protect him so much. It’s so slow at first. Slower even than when Hoseok
was eating him out. Except Yoongi is way more desperate now. He’s not a patient man to
begin with, but Hoseok is going to be the end of him.

“More,” Yoongi says, not because he’s adjusted but because he’s not going to adjust at all if
Hoseok doesn’t move. He’s so big, Yoongi feels so small, but he needs more, more, more, if
it’s going to start to feel as good as he needs it to feel. Hoseok is hesitant, but Yoongi just
grabs his hips and pulls him closer, grinds his body against Hoseok.

“Fuck,” they both say because fuck.

Yoongi has had sex before but it didn’t feel like this. It was all just about getting off. It never
felt like he needed it in order for him to get as close to the other person as possible. Never
wanted the person like he does now. Where the pleasure isn’t even close to as important as
the closeness. Maybe that’s why it starts to feel good almost instantly. Hoseok might also just
be a sex god, and with a body like that, there’s really no proof he isn’t.

“Seok,” he gasps, and he’s again using his own hands to push Hoseok further until he’s all the
way inside and it’s perfect. It definitely hurts but nothing could hurt as good as he feels. This
is why it’s worth it.

“You’re gorgeous,” Hoseok says, pulling out and then pushing back in. Yoongi moans just a
little bit too loudly, and then covers his own mouth. Hoseok smiles softly. He can probably be
pretty vocal, it’s the sound of the bed creaking that will alert people downstairs. It doesn’t
matter anyway.

Yoongi didn’t know until right this very moment that his moans get high pitched during sex,
and he notices it because Hoseok’s voice goes down in just about the sexiest way he can
fathom. Maybe to stop himself from crying out, Yoongi brings Hoseok to his lips, and then
kisses him madly. Hoseok has found his pace, and Yoongi makes soft sounds into his mouth
whenever he hits home, which is nearly every time. Fuck, Hoseok knows what he’s doing.
The two of them clank teeth a few times, and Yoongi’s head arches back against the pillow on
one thrust, giving up on any sort of composure.

He feels just a little bit too good all over to even concentrate on kissing Hoseok. So, he just
lets Hoseok fuck him how he wants. Yoongi can feel him looking down at him and kiss his
jaw, fucking into him at a quicker pace, because he’s as desperate as Yoongi. Yoongi pulls his
head up just enough to watch his own hands go through Hoseok’s hair before he tugs on it the
way that he likes it on his own scalp. Then his hands go down Hoseok’s back, so strong and
muscled and perfect. Finally, between them so that he can wrap a hand around his dick which
feels like it’s going to cry if he doesn’t touch it. His hand is in the same time with Hoseok’s
thrust, maybe a little bit faster because he’s desperate.

Possibly the best part is that it lasts for longer than either of them expects it to. Hoseok
thought he’d last like two minutes, because Yoongi looks like Yoongi, absolutely sinful and
wet and gorgeous. It’s closer to ten minutes and he’s quite proud of that. When he’s about to
cum, his pace becomes erratic, just trying to give as much to Yoongi as he possibly can
before he falls. Then, he does fall. And if he hadn’t already gotten off once tonight, it would
be the most powerful orgasm of his life. All the same, it’s pretty close to being the most
powerful one of his life.

Yoongi doesn’t give up, fucks himself on Hoseok’s dick even as Hoseok’s limbs weaken.
He’s desperate to get off, and on his dick would be fantastic. Hoseok all but collapses on top
of him, and even though his body isn’t very large, he’s still heavy on top of Yoongi.
“Please Seok,” he whines it into his ear, and Hoseok just nods. He has to pull out, because
he’s way too oversensitive, but he’s too hurried to get rid of the condom. That will be gross in
a few minutes once he gets Yoongi off. Hoseok goes down Yoongi’s body lazily, still trying
to put himself back together from his own orgasm. Without warning or tease, he sticks
Yoongi’s cock all the way into his mouth like he was born for it.

Yoongi isn’t expecting it, that’s why he gasps. Yoongi already knows he has a magic mouth,
but he is still shocked. Barely a minute later, he’s tugging Hoseok off by the hair as he cums
onto his own stomach. Very déjà vu. He’d like to have more déjà vu. Yoongi stays lying on
his back, breathing deep, trying to come down. He certainly recovers quicker than he had last
time; he doesn’t even cry! But he’s sure he couldn’t walk if he wanted to. He reaches over to
grab Hoseok, but he isn’t there. Yoongi is annoyed because he is unbelievably exhausted, and
he wants to be cuddled until he dies. He pulls his head up and lets his eyes adjust to the dark
room for a moment as he searches for him.

Hoseok comes back just a moment later with a damp washcloth. Yoongi falls back, let’s
Hoseok clean him off. It’s not like he thought Hoseok ran away, but it’s still a relief that he’s
come back. Yoongi can’t look away from his face. He’s so beautiful. He looks wet. They
really did ruin the purpose of that shower, but it doesn’t matter. They can just shower again in
the morning.

Hoseok throws the washcloth to the ground and then jumps right into bed and starts attacking
Yoongi with soft little kisses all over his face. The scene has dramatically changed from lust
to laziness. Yoongi wraps arms around him, then a leg. He’s just trying to make sure Hoseok
doesn’t go anywhere.

“I’m fucking in love with you,” Yoongi says quietly.

“I’m tired,” he responds. Yoongi agrees. He has to perform a sit and reach in order to find the
cover of the duvet. He has to pull it out from under Hoseok’s ass, but he does end up getting
it to cover the both of them and then he’s warm and blissed out. “Mmmm.” Hoseok sighs
softly. “Stay in bed with me forever?”

“Okay.”

Yoongi takes the role as the big spoon, which is alright because Hoseok took care of him the
entire night. It’s the least he deserves.

“You’re pretty,” Yoongi says, playing with Hoseok’s wet hair. The bed definitely feels like
two people who hadn’t dried off after a shower got into it, but it’s not that bad with Hoseok
here with him. Hoseok’s warm enough that the damp sheets aren’t important.

He sighs softly, and grabs Yoongi’s hand. He puts their hands together and then just looks at
the way they mold together. “They look like they’re made for each other,” he says,
intertwining his fingers with Yoongi’s.

“They are,” Yoongi tells him. They do fit perfectly together. Hoseok’s hands are the perfect
size. His entire body is the perfect size to contour against Yoongi.
 “I love you. Like a lot.” Hoseok smiles and then kisses the back of Yoongi’s hand.

“I love you a lot too.”

“Mm, that’s good.” His voice isn’t really there, as he’s already drifting off. Yoongi smiles,
letting him fall asleep in his arms. He’s out of it very quickly. He must have been exhausted
after he came, but Hoseok is a gentleman.

Yoongi drifts off not long after, saying softly into Hoseok’s hair, “I’m going to keep you.”

Chapter End Notes

Hard to come up with a comment prompt for this chapter... what's your favorite fruit or
vegetable?
 Falling Down
Chapter Summary

:(

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

{{

(The Bachelor: Boys Will Be Boys SK Interview Kim Seokjin #22)

I think Yoongi and Hoseok had a lot of fun last night. [Stares right into the camera with a
knowing look]. A lot of fun.

**Notes from the director: Oh, ew.

}}

In the morning, Yoongi discovers that Hoseok drools in his sleep. It’s not a lot of drool. It’s
more amusing than it is anything else. He sleeps like a dead man and Yoongi loves him for it.
Yoongi smiles in pure adoration. The sun is peaking in through the window, so he can see
how pretty Hoseok is. He tucks a little piece of hair behind his ear so that he can look at him
better. Hoseok looks so calm when he’s asleep. His face is squishy and innocent. Yoongi
smiles just looking at him.

He sits and watches Hoseok sleep for a few minutes. He’s going to have to get up eventually.
Maybe he’ll invite Hoseok to shower with him. What will they get up to if they did shower?
Yoongi blushes when he remembers what state he’s in right now.

“Min Yoongi!” someone starts pounding on the door, and he would recognize Producer Dad’s
voice anywhere.

“Fuck,” Yoongi says softly, pulling himself up violently because of the noise. He looks over
at Hoseok to see him looking very displeased with being woken up, and yeah, drool on the
pillow but Yoongi will make fun of him later. Right now, he’s more concerned with the very
angry man at the door. But Hoseok has got the squishiest, grumpiest face right now and
Yoongi wants pictures of it to keep in his wallet at all times.

“You were supposed to be outside for hair and makeup forty-five minutes ago!” Producer
Dad says, angry that the door has a lock and that he didn’t bring a paperclip or a battering
ram to get it open with.
“Fine!” Yoongi hollers back. He’s very upset by it. He doesn’t have a date today; it’s that
stupid fucking live show that he’s been choosing to forget the existence of. He’s being driven
into the city where he’s going to have to face an audience and whatever questions Host Uncle
graces him with. It’s going to be a nightmare. It would be nice if he could at least bring
Hoseok with him. Maybe after it’s over, Yoongi can find a way to get Hoseok back upstairs
with him. Not necessarily to repeat last night, but whatever happens happens.

“You have ten minutes to be in the trailer or I am removing this door from its hinges!” he
says. Yoongi rolls his eyes, wondering how true that threat is. Would he seriously unscrew a
door from the wall just to punish Yoongi? No question, he would absolutely do that. He
wouldn’t use a screwdriver though; he would use a hammer.

Yoongi starts to pull himself out of bed, which doesn’t make either of them happy. “No!”
Hoseok says quietly, not wanting to be heard by Producer Dad who begins stomping back
down the steps. He grabs a hold of Yoongi tightly and refuses to let go. “You promised we’d
stay in bed forever.”

Yoongi hangs his head sadly. “I know. But I believe his threat. And if he removes the door,
we won’t be able to use those other two condoms until we’re out of this hellhole.”

“He’s evil,” Hoseok says, and Yoongi knows it’s in jest but he’s also not positive that it isn’t a
correct statement. He might very well be evil. Yoongi thinks D is Satan spawn, but Producer
Dad is an enabler and a sadist.

Yoongi nods, and he has to do a little more convincing for Hoseok to let go of him. Why
would he ever make Hoseok let go? He’s cold and sad without him now. He pulls himself out
of bed and starts scrambling to find clothes. Hoseok did for sure make good on Yoongi’s
request that he walk a little bit funny after last night. His legs feel a little different. He doesn’t
have enough time to take a shower, which is annoying. His hair is perfectly fine, he’ll
manage okay for the day, but there is a little bit of a dirty feeling, all things considered.

Hoseok whistles at his nakedness and Yoongi just gives him a sideways glare as a response.
He disappears to use the bathroom and then comes out later brushing his teeth and searching
the closet for an outfit.

Hoseok just watches him, thinking about how lucky he is for Yoongi to be in his life. The sun
is streaming in through the window on the wall behind him. He’s able to see Yoongi pull on a
pair of black pants and a black shirt, which are very in keeping with his whole “I definitely
didn’t go through an emo phase” style. However, this is Yoongi we’re talking about, so he
prepares for the fact that he’s always cold by layering himself up.

“The red one,” Hoseok calls to him. Yoongi grumbles something, and then comes back a
moment later in a dark red plaid. Yoongi makes a sound over the toothbrush in his mouth like
he’s asking Hoseok what he thinks. Hoseok cannot explain why he thinks that’s adorable; he
just does. Yoongi looks sexy as ever, baggy clothes with no silhouette to speak of, but that’s
alright. Only Hoseok needs to know what type of body he’s got under there. “You look
perfect.”
Yoongi goes back into the bathroom after a sound that resembles thank you. Hoseok is too
lazy to get up right now, so he just covers himself up in the sheets. He moves over to
Yoongi’s side of the bed to feel the warmth of where he just was, and then whines when he
remembers that he doesn’t get to hold him again.

“I would literally rather chop off my own foot than leave you, I swear it,” Yoongi says when
he returns. He’s literally so goddamn pretty. How is it possible for someone to look like that?
For someone to be born with that face? That’s got to be illegal.

“It’s okay,” Hoseok sighs, pulling himself into a sitting position. “I’ll just think about you all
day and curse you that you’re not with me like you promised.”

Yoongi makes a face, walks over to where he is and leans over to kiss him lightly. “Last night
was really amazing,” he says into Hoseok’s mouth. “And just in case you were wondering, I
love you in the morning, in the afternoon, and at night. No exceptions. I’m going to love you
tomorrow afternoon and all the hours in between and after.”

“That’s good, ‘cause I love you too,” Hoseok smiles against Yoongi’s lips, putting his hands
to the back of Yoongi’s head so as not to let him leave. “What’s going to happen to us when
this show is over?”

Yoongi takes a seat on the edge of the bed. “Well, I’m going to take you to my apartment and
I’m going to cook you dinner. And then we’re going to fuck all night long. And in the
morning, I’m going to ask you to move in with me.”

“And then I’m going to say yes, and then we’re going to fuck all day long.”

Yoongi smiles and kisses him for way longer than he should because he really does have to
go or else Producer Dad will eat him. “We’ve got to make it through these last few weeks
first. It’ll go faster if I get this shit taken care of.”

“Probably need to cover up this,” Hoseok says, putting his finger on a bruise that his mouth
left there last night.

“Twins,” Yoongi says, putting his finger on Hoseok’s hickey.

“I brought a turtleneck sweater,” he says. “I’m not going to wear it, I just thought you might
want to know that it exists.”

“Just as long as you tell the camera who gave it to you during your interview.”

“Mm,” Hoseok sighs softly. Yoongi kisses him one last time, very slowly, wishing with all of
his heart that he didn’t have to go. Eventually, he finds the willpower to go, but he can’t bring
himself to look back at Hoseok as he walks away, because if he did, he really wouldn’t be
able to convince himself to ever leave.

When he’s gone, Hoseok’s smile fades just a little bit, and then he falls onto his back and it
returns. Yoongi is in love with him. They’re going to live together. They’re going to wake up
like this every day, and if the show is doing well, Hoseok might be able to get an actual job,
do actual dancing as an actual career. And Yoongi’s mixtape has probably sold a bunch of
copies so he’s going to have a real career too. It’s going to be perfect. Everything will be
perfect. Just as soon as this show is over and Hoseok gets the final rose.

How did this even happen? He came to this show thinking it would just be a goofy little
experience. He never planned on Yoongi. Even when he watched that audition tape of his, he
never could have known that the man behind that sarcasm was the most perfect man in all of
existence. Hoseok thinks about it for a few moments, and he realizes just how early on he
knew that this show was going to be a lot more serious than he expected. It wasn’t right out
of the limo. It was when he first saw Yoongi blush, and that was like forty-five seconds after
he got out of the limo.

Hoseok covers his face in a pillow, because his smile is too big. He can’t even bear how
happy he feels right now. Because this was just a dumb show he thought he’d try out for, and
now he can see his and Yoongi’s future. He can imagine being married to him. It’s way too
early for that, and he knows it is, but it doesn’t stop his heart from seeing it and knowing it to
be true.

He’s fallen so hard and so fast. Some of the velocity can be accredited to the account that he’s
gotten to see and talk to Yoongi almost every single day, but it can’t be denied that this show
does succeed in a few of its goals. The whole point of the show is to make two people fall in
love, and it worked.

He’s so fucking lucky. Twenty-five men walked into this mansion on night one and Yoongi
already had eyes only for him. Out of twenty-five people Hoseok got to be so unfathomably
lucky as to have Yoongi love him. Him! With people like Seokjin and Jimin in the house and
Yoongi chose him. Hoseok has never been luckier.

He considers for a few minutes whether he should go back to sleep. It’s never going to
happen, and he knows it. He’s far too bright and bubbly on the inside to actually get to sleep.
He pulls himself back up and looks around. His clothes are in a little puddle on the floor. He
needs to take a shower and get ready for the day. He’s going to have to do a lot of interviews
today to explain his current state. It’s going to be tedious. But tonight, he’s going to find a
way to get Yoongi alone again. It’s going to be hard to be subtle about his love for Yoongi
after last night. He’s not even sure if it’s worth it to act or if he should just go out there all
guns a-blazing.

Eventually, Hoseok puts on his clothes from last night, but only so that he can go downstairs
and get into the shower to change into new ones. He thinks about it for only the briefest of
moments before he steals one of Yoongi’s shirts. He’ll give it back if he asks for it, but he
wants to smell him. Yoongi washed Hoseok’s hair with his own shampoo so he already
smells like Yoongi, but if he’s about to wash it all out then he needs something to replace it
and the shirt will do.

The only thing on Hoseok’s mind in the shower is the way he kissed Yoongi last night under
the water. That kiss was so soft and so sweet. Yoongi loves Hoseok’s hand in his hair almost
as much as Hoseok loves running his own hands through it. Hoseok misses his warmth more
than anything. The shower is unable to recreate the warmth of Yoongi’s body against his.
Hoseok’s skin hungers to be touched by Yoongi.
There are some days where you feel warm like Sunday brunch. That’s how Hoseok feels as
he climbs down the stairs and makes towards the kitchen. He hears voices already down
there, which isn’t surprising, because the second floor shows no signs of life. He’s gets sad
for a small moment when he remembers that Jimin and Jungkook got sent home a few days
ago, so they won’t be downstairs now. He wants to see them again so much. He wants them
as his neighbors so he can see them whenever he wants.

He hears Taehyung’s voice before he enters the kitchen, and he stops. Hoseok is slow and
quiet as he approaches. After last night, he thinks it’s important that he measure what’s about
to happen before he goes strolling in. There’s a cameraman stood in the entry hall who seems
to understand Hoseok’s intent, so he gets closer but remains deadly still.

“This whole show is a sham anyway. Why are we even still here? It’s not like we don’t all
know who Yoongi is going to pick,” D says, negativity obvious in his voice. Hoseok shrugs a
little bit, because there’s no denying that one.

“Well…” Seokjin says, “We can’t really be angry with him for that. This is a dating show, he
can only fall in love with one person.” Hoseok can’t see any of their faces so he has no way
of knowing the way that Seokjin looks at Namjoon.

“Whatever. If you ask me, Hoseok is…” he sneers, “something of a whore.”

“No no, don’t say that,” Namjoon’s voice sounds very calm, but a calm that is holding back
anger. It would be scary from anyone, but Namjoon especially.

“He didn’t come back to our room last night. That can only mean one thing.” Hoseok
clenches his fist. What is he supposed to do? Pretend he’s not hearing it? Go in there to
confront D about it? “He’s made such a fool of himself throwing himself at Yoongi every
second of this show. He couldn’t make it more obvious. I thought this show was supposed to
be about finding love, not about spreading your legs as soon as you get the chance.”

“You need to shut up,” Taehyung says, and someone’s chair grinds angrily against the floor as
they walk into the other room. Hoseok’s place is still hidden, and he’s breathing as calmly
through his nose as he can considering what he’s hearing about himself.

“He just needs to have a little more respect for himself. He could at least pretend he’s not
fucking Yoongi. More than once I’ve woken up and he’s not there. The first time was in the
second week!”

“Stop it, stop it,” Namjoon says. “You know how shitty you’re coming across right now,
man? Yes, we all know that Yoongi is in love with Hoseok, but they actually have a lot of
chemistry together. We all tried really hard to get Yoongi to like us, but he only has two eyes.
The least you could do is be civilized about it, because they’re both good people.” Hoseok
smiles, feeling warmly of Namjoon right now, who’s defending him with the grace and poise
he’s come to expect out of that man.

“I just think-”
“If you have a problem with it, you can just leave the show. The rest of us are still here
because we’re friends with each other, but you have never tried to be friends with us. If
you’re so upset over who Yoongi has picked, then why don’t you just go home?” Taehyung
says.

“Why are you so easy to defend Hoseok?”

“Why are you such an asshole?” Hoseok makes a surprised chipmunk face to the camera at
Namjoon’s words. He’s done the math and it appears as though Seokjin is the one who left
the room earlier. This is further proven when he can hear Seokjin laugh from the living room.

“I honestly don’t know why I’m still on this stupid show. Hoseok or not, Yoongi is the real
whore on this show.”

Hoseok sees red. He’s not even aware of himself barreling into the kitchen. He’s also not
fully aware of pushing D off of his seat. He watches D as he falls onto the hardwood floor
below him, so surprised that he almost doesn’t have time to catch himself on his hands.
Literally everyone is stunned. Namjoon and Taehyung are looking at Hoseok shocked that
he’s just appeared, and Seokjin is stood not too far away. Then there’s stupid, slimy, piece of
shit D. No one makes any attempt at actually helping the guy up from where he is on the
floor, because nobody has any sympathy for him.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” D says when he gains enough of his senses to find his
feet beneath him again.

“You don’t get to say that stuff about him, okay?” Hoseok says. He’s never felt so angry in
his entire life. He doesn’t even think he’s making decisions right now; this is all just instinct.
“Yoongi is… he’s wonderful. And for that matter, you don’t get to talk shit about me either. I
don’t know you; you don’t know me. How can you claim to have any sense of who I am, or
of who he is? You have been an asshole to everyone since you got here. The only reason
you’re still here at all is because Yoongi was forced to keep you by the network. Just go fuck
yourself.”

Taehyung and Namjoon take five whole goddamn steps backwards.

“Why does it feel like absolutely nothing when a little slut tries to insult me? You’ve already
degraded yourself too much for it to have any effect on me.”

“Who do you think you’re fooling with this act? Do you think anyone likes you? What about
your personality is it that you think is appealing? Do you think anyone cares about what you
say? Do you think anyone likes your company? Or are you so in love with yourself that
you’re unable to see just how big of a parasite you really are?” Wow. Hoseok’s mom is going
to kill him when she sees this. Then again, maybe she won’t because D has it coming to him.

“Whatever. Go off and fuck your little hoe boyfriend-”

Hoseok has never been in a fight before. The last time he hit someone was probably when he
was about ten or eleven during a school sports day. That doesn’t stop him from punching D in
the nose, though.
The second that Hoseok’s fist hits D’s nose, he can tell he’s done damage. He’s not confident
enough in his own strength to say that the nose is broken, but it is most certainly bleeding
when D brings his hands up to it. The moment of disbelief is short-lived because then D is
coming at him and ready to beat him up too, but that’s when crew members from all ends of
the earth intervene and Hoseok is being pulled back, D is being pulled back. Voices and faces
get blurry as Hoseok is led out of the room in the opposite direction as D.

It only takes a moment before Hoseok finds himself outside on the front steps as every crew
member on this entire show is running around. He realizes in a split second that what he’s
done is serious. He doesn’t know what came over him… well actually he does. Because he
would do it again. If he wasn’t standing on the front steps right now, he’s probably have D in
a headlock beneath him. He’s just never been so angry before. Hoseok isn’t altogether an
angry person. It’s not that Hoseok never gets mad, he just doesn’t let it take over him like
that.

He doesn’t really panic about it. Not yet at least. Someone is yelling at him, two people are
yelling at him. People are rushing to get places. Everyone is screaming into earpieces.
Hoseok is numb to it all. He doesn’t think he remembers hitting D, but he knows it felt damn
good. He doesn’t have thoughts right now. He’s just tuned out to the world. All he hears is
blood rushing through his ears.

Voices he knows are talking to him. Hoseok looks up to see the three other guys are all
outside with him, looking back at him. Namjoon is standing on the grass in front of the front
steps looking at Hoseok and asking him if he’s okay. Hoseok could laugh, because D is the
one who just got punched in the face and they’re out here making sure he’s alright.

Hoseok has a sudden terrifying instinct that something bad is about to happen. He should not
have done what he just did. He doesn’t so much regret doing it as much as he’s scared for
what’s going to happen to him because of it.

“I would’ve punched him too,” Seokjin’s voice breaks the haze around Hoseok for only a
brief second before he returns to his fear. This morning had been so wonderful. He woke up
next to Yoongi and it felt like the start to the rest of their lives. Did he just ruin it?

Eventually, someone pulls Hoseok up and walks him over to the makeup trailer which only
Yoongi ever goes to. He’s never been in here before, so he doesn’t know what to do or what
to expect. Someone is on the phone. The crew is divided today because there are only so
many here at the mansion while the others are all with Yoongi at the live show in the city,
wherever that actually is. Producer Dad for one is noticeably absent, and Hoseok gets the
instinct that whoever this woman is on the phone with now is either as high ranking as
Producer Dad or someone even higher up than him. She leaves him alone as she talks on the
phone, but Hoseok’s brain isn’t working right so it’s not like he’s listening in on the
conversation.

He’s sitting in a makeup chair, he can tell because there are brushes and hair products
everywhere and if he looks at the wall, he’s faced with a well-lit reflection of himself. He
doesn’t really want to make eye contact with himself right now, so he just looks down at his
hands.
 He just feels different. He’s never hit anyone before. Up until this morning, or maybe just up
until he met Yoongi, he never thought he had a reason to. He never would have. But there
was just something about hearing D insult Yoongi that took him out of his body. All he felt
was rage and animalistic hatred. D only charged him up by saying shit about him, but the
second he called the man Hoseok loved a whore, that was just too far.

In no way at all is Yoongi a whore. Not even a little bit. He has made it clear at every step
that he only wants one person, and he chose his one person and only one. That boy is such a
doll that he was worried about kissing someone on camera. Every time they kiss, Yoongi
either tries to hide it or make it so obscene that it won’t be suitable for TV. He’s just so sweet,
and soft. He doesn’t go around hurting anyone. Yoongi can sometimes be too kind. What he
fears most about this show is that he’ll hurt other people. Yoongi is so considerate and
compassionate that the thought of anyone insulting him makes Hoseok want to cry.

It’s only after about ten minutes of silence that he realizes he is crying. How could someone
say that about Yoongi? Where can he find D to break his jaw this time around?

It’s been over twenty minutes, close to half an hour, when the woman comes back into the
trailer. She looks around as if expecting Hoseok to have moved, but he hasn’t. He’s still
sitting in the same chair. This is where Yoongi sits when he gets his makeup done. He wishes
Yoongi were here more than anything in the world.

“Pack your bags,” she says. Hoseok had been expecting the words but when she says them,
his entire stomach falls out. Pack my bags. Yoongi is off in the city, god knows where.
Hoseok doesn’t even get to say goodbye.

Chapter End Notes

I know last chapter was a little.... different, but hopefully you guys will comment on this
one! Your comment prompt today is for you to tell me about your favorite stuffed
animal. Mine is a Build-A-Bear puppy named Perchu.
 Everything Sucks
Chapter Summary

Poor Yoongi, I just want to give him a hug and kiss the top of his head.

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

{{

(The Bachelor: Boys Will Be Boys SK Exit Interview Kim Taehyung)

I’m completely over it. Not even a single part of me has any interest in being here if Hoseok
is gone. There’s seriously no point. I nominated myself to stay here because Hoseok is my
best friend, but with him gone, I would just be staying for the sake of the producers here and
I kind of lost all respect for them after this.

I get it. ‘Violence is never the answer’, or at least, I kind of always felt that way. But… the
things D was saying… if someone said that about anyone I love, I don’t know that I’d react
any differently. Sending Hoseok off though, that’s just not fair. It’s not okay. What D said was
wrong. Like morally wrong. I can’t be anywhere near people who would punish Hoseok just
as much as they punish D.

I’m glad that D is getting sent home too, but if you ask me, he’s the one at fault, not Hoseok.
I can’t repeat the things he said, but you heard them, right? That’s not okay. That’s super
[censored] up. Yoongi is one of the nicest people I know and I think it’s deplorable that the
staff and crew didn’t step in before Hoseok had to.

I’m going to miss Yoongi, and Namjoon and Seokjin. There are a lot of things about this life
that I’m going to miss. But I’ve lost a lot of my respect for this show over the last few hours.
It’s not right. To me, it’s more important to be with Hoseok than it is to be anywhere near
here.

**Notes from the director: Well, this kind of fucks things up a bit doesn’t it?

}}

“Do you have any idea the impact that you’ve had over the last several weeks?” the
interviewer asks. She’s got a familiar face, Yoongi thinks he’s seen her in clips from celebrity
interviews, but he doesn’t know her name or remember it when she gave it to him an hour
ago. Yoongi sits in front of an audience on a pretty small stage. There aren’t a terribly large
number of people in the audience, but there’s more than he’s ever been in front of since he
graduated. But these people aren’t parents of his classmates. These people are all here to see
him and only him.

Yoongi can’t fathom why anyone in their right mind would want to watch him be interviewed
live. All of these people must surely have seen the show, right? Maybe the production crew
managed to find the only two hundred people in the country who have actually watched it. Or
maybe Yoongi really is in denial of how many people care about him. He’s heard hints more
than a few times that the show is fairly successful. His stomach churns a little bit at the
prospect of how vague the word “successful” is.

Has everyone in this room seen him kiss Hoseok? Have they all seen him look at Hoseok like
he’s the sun? They’ve seen make an idiot of himself being so head over heels in love with
him. They’ll have seen him drunkenly drape himself on Hoseok. They might even have seen
him half naked on a basketball court. He doesn’t want to think about any of that.

“Actually, I have no clue. I haven’t seen the show. We’re kept pretty well in the dark. I don’t
even have access to the internet. I’m assuming, given the way you phrased the question, that
people are watching the show?”

“Am I allowed to tell you how popular the show is?” she asks, looking past Yoongi at
Producer Dad. Yoongi looks at him too only to give him an evil glare. Producer Dad nods his
head and then scowls back at Yoongi. “Well, Yoongi. The Bachelor is the most watched show
in the nation. And fifth most watched in the world.”

Yoongi blinks at her like she just ate a live frog. He lets those words rest in the air and then
starts to unpack them. Most watched in the country. That’s a big deal. That’s a lot of people.
When there’s a popular show, you talk to people about it, don’t you? You ask your coworkers
if they caught the new episode last night. You invite your friends over to watch the show. You
read articles about the show between episodes. Of course, Yoongi only does that with dramas
or sci-fi’s, because he’s never watched reality television, but it’s huge over in America. Is he
that? Is he a reality star?

His parents own a television. They might have seen him. His parents might have seen him
make out with his future husband on television. Hell, everyone Yoongi knows might have
seen that. His grandparents. His old math teacher. His piano tutor. His childhood friends he’s
lost touch with. Every coworker he’s ever had. Everyone he knows might have looked at their
television screen and seen him.

Yoongi is in the middle of rationalizing that before he remembers the interviewer saying that
other part. Fifth most watched in the world. So that’s… more people. That’s like a lot.

“Do you know for sure that people are watching it or is it possible that the show is playing in
the background? Like Netflix and chill?” Yoongi asks. He can tell he’s been silent for a
while, because she’s looking at him like he’s slow.

“I… I don’t know how to answer that.”

“So it is entirely possible that, through some freak accident, everyone has accidentally turned
on the show? I’m not like… I’m not famous.” Yoongi’s question is only stupid because he
doesn’t want to admit the truth. If this show didn’t have a literal live audience, Yoongi
probably would have been smacked in the head by Producer Dad by now.

“Probably not.”

Yoongi nods. “Yeah, probably not.”

She looks a little thrown off her groove, which Yoongi will probably come to expect from
interviewers from now on. Yoongi is a tricky person to interview. He’s not standoffish per
say, but he says exactly what’s in his head, as blunt as it is. He’s also incredibly modest when
other people try to tell him about success. It’s easy to be a showoff when he brags about
himself, but when other people compliment him, he closes in on himself. Only Hoseok is able
to compliment him and turn him into a butterfly.

“So, we have to talk about Hoseok.”

“Gladly,” Yoongi says, and that’s the only honest thing he’s said since he kissed Hoseok
goodbye this morning. He thinks fondly of the three or four different hickeys that Hoseok left
him. Makeup Auntie gave him shit for it, but in a playful sort of way. If he didn’t respect that
woman so much he would probably just wipe off the makeup to show off that Hoseok is his
and he’s Hoseok’s.

“Hoseok is a fan favorite-”

“Good.”

“He seems to be your leading man.”

“He’s the only man I’ve ever told I love you to, and I’m pretty sure he’s the last person as
well.” The audience aww’s and Yoongi blushes. That statement might have been a little too
honest. Christ, if the show is as popular as he’s been led to believe, is that going to be a quote
that people write in episode recaps? Is Yoongi’s 15 minutes of fame going to all sound like
tacky romantic movie quotes? He supposes it could be worse, actually. He wouldn’t mind
terribly if he was famous for being with Hoseok. It’s the biggest of all the things he can brag
about. Now obviously, he’d rather be famous for being the greatest rapper there ever was, but
there’s no reason for why he can’t have both, right?

“I can see we have a few Hoseok fans here,” the interviewer says, laughing. Yoongi wonders
what it must be like having a job like hers. She has to fake empathy and interest. Or maybe
she’s genuine. Yoongi’s been surrounded by a lot of fake people these last few weeks, and it’s
going to take a lot of shaking off to reorient himself with a world where people aren’t always
in front of a camera trying to present a curated version of themselves.

“It’s sort of a running joke between me and the other guys that there’s no purpose in having a
show. Not after I met Hoseok.”

“It seems as though you instantly gravitated towards Hoseok, is that correct?”
“Yeah, it was pretty close to instant. It plays through my head all the time, that minute when I
first saw him. I don’t know how I knew straight away, because he was one of the last people
out of the limo and I… I don’t know. It’s not because he’s more beautiful than anyone else.
You’ve seen the show, you know that everyone who I met that night was beautiful. And I’m
not here to say that they aren’t. It’s just that Hoseok… to me at least, Hoseok is the most
beautiful man in the world. He’s everything. I think I could have met hundreds of men in one
night and still have felt pulled in by him.”

“So it was instant attraction! When did you know that you wanted to date him?”

Yoongi feels giddy as he thinks about him. Hoseok is so damn cute. “There was never a
moment. It wasn’t an all of a sudden, because I tried to resist him. I don’t want to get into
how I ended up on the show or what I felt originally. What matters is that Hoseok took a
wrecking ball through all of my plans. I just realized very quickly that he was- well, I guess
the word is irresistible. I knew I wanted to date him because I had already fallen into him.”

“You’re a week ahead of all of us tuning in every Friday night. We’re getting close to an end
now, which means that some of the other fan favorites might soon be leaving the show. I’d
like to discuss those guys as well. We’re talking about people like Seokjin, Taehyung, Jimin,
and D.” Yoongi’s eyes bulge out at the last name. Seriously? What could it possibly be about
that man that has charmed people? How on earth do they edit this show? It just doesn’t seem
possible.

“Is that last one a joke?” Yoongi asks.

Producer Dad clears his throat behind Yoongi, but there’s nothing he can do. Yoongi is in
front of a live audience and he’s kind of thankful of that. Even if they cut this interview down
into the tiniest bit, there are still people in this room now who will be able to attest to how
much he hates D. And maybe how much he also hates Producer Dad.

“How do you mean ‘a joke’?”

“I mean that D is the second worst human being I’ve ever met in my entire life. I say second
because of that jackass off stage.”

“Excuse me?” she asks.

“I said what I said. D is one of the most repulsive dregs of human waste that I’ve ever had the
displeasure of meeting.”

“But he’s still on the show?”

Yoongi makes a face. “Reality TV is a deceptive term.”

She purses her lips and tries to steer the interview back onto the right rails. “It’s interesting
that you say that. Some people have speculated that you were in contact with Hoseok before
the show,” she says.
“Well you can tell that’s not true, because if I knew Hoseok before this show I would never
ever have walked into that mansion,” Yoongi says. “Listen, I don’t pretend to like the show. I
don’t pretend to care about it or the process. So if I had known Hoseok before the show aired,
I never would have wasted my time with it.”

The interview continues on for quite a bit longer and Yoongi isn’t really present for most of
it. He does everything in his power to talk about Hoseok and nothing else. He does say as
many kind words about his friends as he can, and it seems as though he’s advertising the
relationship between Seokjin and Namjoon as a TV commercial.

Something that sickens him or maybe excited him is that a few people ask for his autograph
when the interview is done. Producer Dad pulls him off the stage but not before several girls,
and a few guys are all jumping out of their seats and asking for pictures or autographs.
Yoongi doesn’t know what to say or do. He opens his mouth like a fish out of water, but
Producer Dad pulls him away a little too violently.

When he’s standing in another room, a dressing room, he isn’t sure if any of that all just
happened. There are so many things that he needs let settle. The show is popular. Apparently,
he’s had some sort of cultural impact. Hoseok is a fan favorite. So is D? People want his
autograph. Do they all want it because of the show or is it possible that some of those people
have bought his album. He’d love to sign a physical copy of his album someday, but those
don’t exist.

Yoongi is ecstatic that it’s over and he gets to go back to Hoseok. He has big plans for tonight
and none of them involve wearing clothing. He can’t hurry himself off to the limo waiting
outside fast enough. He still hasn’t gotten used to limo travel. It’s a little impractical, and
honestly, he finds limos to be kind of ugly. The only good thing about limos is the sunroof
which you can scream out of. Then again, lots of cars come with sunroofs too. Yoongi would
rather have one of those because at least people don’t look at you like you’re a jerk.

Producer Dad begrudgingly files in behind Yoongi. They mirror each other with crossed arms
and annoyed faces, but Yoongi refuses to look at him. He wishes he had his phone, so he
instead looks out the window. It’s a long way back and Hoseok is waiting for him, missing
Yoongi as much as Yoongi misses him. Minus one, because there’s no way Hoseok could
miss him more than Yoongi does.

Hoseok was so pretty this morning. And last night. Hoseok looks good when he’s sweaty and
breathing hard. He also looks unbelievable when he’s tired and has trouble keeping his eyes
open. Yoongi wishes he was kissing his lips, neck, chest, thighs. He puts hand on a spot on
his neck where the skin is tender. He wants Hoseok to be here with him right now so they can
talk about how weird that live show just was. He wonders what they’re doing back at the
house. Hoseok is probably being his bright bubbly self, laughing so hard that he throws
himself against whatever person or surface is nearest. Yoongi loves it when he does that.
Hoseok usually falls against him and his laugh fills the whole room. It’s the ultimate goal in
Yoongi’s life just to see him laugh.

The trip back is oddly silent. Usually Producer Dad will say some things to piss him off, and
Yoongi will do his best to ignore him. It hasn’t been just the two of them alone in the limo for
a while now. In the first few weeks, Yoongi was shuttle off to take promo pictures and small
things like that, but most of the time he’d only get into a limo when he was on a date. Those
were never terrible, because he’d get to talk to Seokjin for an hour or so about the people he’s
met and was able to instantly charm. Any conversation with Taehyung is eye opening and
weird, and Yoongi is going to miss not having that. Though he knows he’ll get to see
everyone again, it’s always been a fun experience to do it like this.

Yoongi can’t explain what triggers his suspicions when they park in front of the mansion.
There is no visual sign that anything is wrong. Yoongi can just feel something. It’s a bit like a
horror movie, and he checks over his shoulder to check for monsters. He shivers when he
sees that there is a monster and his name is Producer Dad.

“Now, Yoongi,” Producer Dad says as he walks a few paces behind him up the drive way.
The tone of his voice makes Yoongi roll his eyes because it’s far too serious than anything on
this show deserves. He’s probably just about to tell him something else stupid that will make
for ‘great television’ but will also make for Yoongi’s trademarked stink face.

“What?” Yoongi asks, turning and looking annoyed at him.

“There’s something that happened. I didn’t want to tell you until we got back because I have
a feeling that your reaction is going to be… animated.”

Yoongi could not get more irritated with this man if he tried. “What are you talking about?”

“Well, while you were filming the live show, some drama transpired here. There was an
altercation.”

Yoongi raises an eyebrow and smirks just a little bit. He hopes the end of this story is that
someone clocked D into next year. He hopes more than anything that it was Hoseok who
delivered the blow. If he did, well, Yoongi will reward him by blowing him in a different
way.

“Because of this altercation, we had to send two contestants home.” That’s right about when
Yoongi’s soul ejects itself from his body and gives him a middle finger as it rides itself right
off into the sun.

“What?” His word is angry and quick. He knows exactly which two contestants got sent
home, and Yoongi is most assuredly about to do something terrible enough to get him sent
home too.

“Well, you see, this show is supposed to be a positive environment, and for viewers at
home-”

Yoongi doesn’t wait to hear the rest of his words, he just turns around and opens the door to
the mansion. He starts screaming out Hoseok’s name as soon as he’s inside. Yoongi is on a
mission, he first runs through the living room, sees two people there, neither of whom are
Hoseok, but he doesn’t stop to talk to them. He’s going through the kitchen. No Hoseok.
Then he’s looped back into the entrance hall where Producer Dad has stepped in and is trying
to talk to Yoongi, but he ignores the man and runs up the stairs to the second floor. Still
calling out Hoseok’s name, he goes into Hoseok’s room.
The room isn’t just empty of people. It’s empty of everything. All that’s there is the furniture.
Bunk beds pressed against the wall with stripped sheets, and small closets with doors wide
open exposing nothing inside. There’s no indication that anyone lives in this room, no sign of
Hoseok’s bright clothes, his bright anything. The smell of him lingers, but the warmth of him
is totally gone. There’s no D either. Yoongi doesn’t recall what D’s side of the room looked
like beforehand, other than remember his stuff took up half of the whole room. Yoongi also
notices that Taehyung, who’s bunk is supposed to be right on top of Hoseok’s, is also empty.
Try as hard as he can, he doesn’t care nearly as much about Taehyung’s absence as he does
Hoseok’s.

“Hoseok?” Yoongi keeps calling his name. When he exits the room, he almost crashes into
Producer Dad who’s trying to explain something to him, but he interrupts him. “Fuck you.
Fuck off. I don’t give a fuck what you have to say to me, where the fuck is Hoseok?”

“We had to send him-”

“What did D say to piss him off? Tell me. He said something derogatory, didn’t he? He got
what he deserved. I hope his nose is crooked or that it just got cut off. Why the fuck is
Hoseok not here?”

“He caused a serious injury!” Producer Dad says. Yoongi hears people coming up the stairs
and expects crew members in troves but it’s actually Seokjin and Namjoon. Are they… the
only two left? Yoongi feels himself deflate more than he ever has in his life. No Hoseok. No
Taehyung. No Jimin or Jungkook. He loves these two as much as he can, but they’re nothing
compared to the man he loves.

“So the fuck what? Don’t I get to decide who leaves and who stays?”

“Not when it’s a matter of physical injury.”

“I do not care. I do not care. I literally have never cared less about anything. I want Hoseok,
where is he?”

“He’s most likely already back home, he’s not coming back, Yoongi, you’re going to have to
accept-”

“I won’t accept! Whatever Hoseok did I know that scum deserved it. Hoseok would never
hurt anyone unless they deserved it. He would never.”

“Yoongi’s right,” Seokjin interjects. “What D said made me want to punch him too.”

“And me,” Namjoon agrees. “I don’t even know how much Hoseok heard, but he was on it
for like five minutes! Someone should have intervened well before Hoseok had to. D was
using slurs, disrespecting Yoongi, disrespecting Hoseok. He was just all-around total garbage,
and you all let that slide! It’s almost like you wanted it to happen. You wanted Hoseok to
punch him and get kicked off the show.”

Producer Dad starts, “Now-”

“I quit,” Yoongi says, throwing his hands in the air. “I completely quit. I’m totally done. I
don’t want to be on this show. All I want is Hoseok.”

“You’ve signed a contract-”

“To hell with the contract. This show is about falling in love. Well congratulations. You did
it. I am in love with that man. Good job, now bring him back here or I swear to god, I’m
going to start lighting things on fire,” Yoongi can see in Producer Dad’s eyes that the man
doesn’t even believe in love. Nothing Yoongi says is possible for him to accept because he’s
too deplorable to know how love feels. “You did it, fuckwad. You got two people to fall in
love. So why don’t you bring him back here so that you can get the finale you want.”

“It’s not going to happen,” he says wryly.

“Then I’m out,” Yoongi starts to pull off his mic, but Producer Dad’s words stop him in his
tracks.

“Now Yoongi,” Producer Dad gets a conniving little smile. “I wonder if I mentioned to you
just how vicious Hoseok was when he attacked D? I even heard him talking about a lawsuit.
How would you ever be able to handle a lawsuit on top of a fine for breach of contract? Now,
I’m sure I would be able to brush any suits under the rug, but I’d need a little incentive.”

Yoongi heart falls out of his chest. Hoseok hit him but D deserved it. He doesn’t know what
the situation was, but he knows Hoseok well enough to know that whatever happened, D
deserved it. But D is obviously the type who would file a lawsuit. Obviously. He’s the biggest
piece of shit in the universe. He’d like nothing more than to sue he and Hoseok for so much
money that they won’t even be able to afford having kids someday.

Yoongi closes his eyes as he thinks. He doesn’t want to know how many millions he’d owe to
the show. He and Hoseok would owe even more because of a lawsuit. He’d love to say that
money doesn’t matter to him, but there are so many things he won’t be able to have if he and
Hoseok owed that much money. They’ll never have a house; they’ll never be able to adopt.
They won’t be able to travel; they may not be able to afford anywhere to live. Sure, Yoongi
might someday have a successful rap career, but that’s not a guarantee. He has no guaranteed
way of making money. He wants so many things that he can’t have if they don’t have any
money.

“You’re a monster,” Yoongi says, and he slouches down to the floor. “You’re a total piece of
shit. I hate you.” Someone wraps an arm around him, and Yoongi can tell immediately that
it’s Seokjin. Yoongi is thankful for him, but he just feels like a ghost. He’s not real. The only
person that Yoongi knows to be a real person is Producer Dad, and it’s because he’s too cruel
to be a figment of Yoongi’s imagination.

“I don’t like you either, Yoongi.”

Yoongi buries himself into his hands. He doesn’t start crying yet, because he’s forgotten how.
He feels totally defeated. He tries to tell himself it’s just another few weeks. It’ll be fine.
Everything will be fine.
 “With the weight of this new lawsuit, I’ve got a few more plans for you.”

“Of course you do,” Yoongi groans. “Of fucking course you do.”

“I think perhaps your story might not be over in three weeks. You could be in your own little
spinoff even! More bachelors to meet, more drama to be had. Cheer up, Yoongi, maybe you’ll
even earn a little money off of it.”

“You can’t do that!”

“Hmm, do you think? Maybe without your cooperation I’ll just let D have whatever
compensation he so rightly deserves.”

Seokjin tries whispering in his ear to tell him how full of shit Producer Dad is, and
somewhere in the back of his mind, Yoongi knows that he can’t do any of that stuff.
Rationality isn’t really the dominant feeling inside of Yoongi right now because there’s that
tiny little fear scratching at his brain that is asking him if he can. Can Producer Dad actually
string him along like that? What will Yoongi even do if it’s three weeks from now and he
can’t go back to Hoseok?

Yoongi pulls his head up and looks at Producer Dad with so much hatred that it’s possible
he’ll burn under the gaze. He’s fairly certain that no two people have ever hated each other so
much. Yoongi stands up and looks Producer Dad in the eye before spitting in his face.

“Fuck you,” his words are more vicious than the spit.

“You had better get used to me.”

Chapter End Notes

Today's comment prompt is for you to tell me your pizza order. And if you order
pineapple on your pizza, I'm going to need a handwritten apology letter.
 Jekyll and Hyde
Chapter Summary

Let's get to know D.

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

{{

(The Bachelor: Boys Will Be Boys SK Interview Kim Namjoon #25)

Interviewer: Tell me how things have changed in the last week.

Namjoon: Do you remember that bit in Harry Potter where those things suck the soul out of
you, and you forget all your happy memories? It’s a bit like that.

Interviewer: [Nervous sweating] Are you… uh… excited to go to Greece?

Namjoon: No.

Interviewer: Okay.

[Namjoon blinks at him, looking annoyed or bored, which is very unusual for him. Namjoon
is usually good at faking interest at the very least.]

Interviewer: Can you talk me through how you’re feeling?

Namjoon: How I’m feeling is that Yoongi doesn’t deserve this, and I don’t deserve this and
neither do Seokjin, Hoseok, Taehyung, or anyone else. We all had such good intentions when
we came onto this show. It started out with everyone competing for Yoongi’s attention. Well,
great! He achieved that in week one. I know I was slow on the uptake, because Yoongi had
latched onto Hoseok before I even realized I liked someone else. But it was good. It was
perfect actually. No one came here, or at least, none of my friends came here looking to start
trouble, and we were all doing a great job at that, but the people who run this show are… I
guess the word is sadistic? This never had to be painful. This show never had to be evil. But
someone made that decision, and whoever that person was (he’s pretty sure he knows exactly
who that was), they should be ashamed.

Interviewer: So, you feel wronged?

Namjoon: We all feel wronged, and we have every right to feel that way. As for me, I’m a
good sport; I know that a lot of your bosses find me boring. It’s fine. It makes me feel kind of
 bad, but I’ve embraced it. There’s nothing I can do about your perception of me despite
smiling through your hate. The way I’ve been treated could have been better. But the way
that you’ve all treated Hoseok… or Yoongi… or even Jungkook… it’s not okay. You should
reconsider the people you are. [Namjoon shakes his head.] This could have been a cool show.
You could have let Yoongi and Hoseok be in love. You could have let so many good things
happen, but instead you decided to torture us, demean us, look down at us. I’ve tried to just
choke it down for so long, but I’ve had enough.

So no, I don’t want to go to Greece. I don’t want to be with this crew any longer. There are
too many bad apples and they spoil the whole barrel. I deserve more than this. Yoongi
deserves more than this, and for God’s sake, your viewers deserve more than this. I’m sick of
it.

**Notes from the director: Do you hear that? It’s the sound of my career imploding.

}}

Hoseok has ingested his own weight in ice cream. He’s eaten so many pints of ice cream that
he is currently more ice cream than man. Namjoon and Seokjin would be absolutely sickened
by him because over half of the pints of ice cream he’s consumed have been mint chocolate
chip. Thinking about how disgusted they would be by him only makes him miss them more
and missing them more means that he misses Yoongi more and whenever he misses Yoongi
more, he eats more ice cream.

It’s been six days since he was sent home and, in that time, he has felt like the earth is
shattering each day more and more. He was too depressed to stay in Jungkook’s apartment
because all he could think about was his bed back home so now, he’s separated from both
Yoongi and his friends. Well, except for Jimin who is currently sleeping on his couch.
Taehyung wanted to sleep on his couch, but Taehyung is the father to too many animals, so
he had to see them first. Those three are working out living arrangements right now but
Hoseok is too depressed to really inject himself into that situation. All he knows is that he’s
thankful for Jimin being with him, but he’d really prefer to have Yoongi.

Hoseok stole one of Yoongi’s shirts the same morning that he was sent home, and he hasn’t
taken it off in a few days. Jimin probably thinks he smells, but he doesn’t care that much. The
shirt smells less and less like Yoongi and more like Hoseok’s diminished interest in
showering. Hoseok’s never been heartbroken before, he didn’t know it would feel like this.

The stupid thing is, it’s not like he broke up with Yoongi. They’re not apart forever. Hoseok
should be fine and just let it all be okay. But it’s the fact that they were separated the way that
they were. It’s the fact that being away from the show means that he won’t get to be with
Yoongi on the final episode. Yoongi will have to pick Namjoon or Seokjin and it’s going to
be such a stupid thing to watch on TV. It was supposed to be the two of them as the curtains
close, but now Hoseok isn’t with him and it all hurts.

Right now, Yoongi is probably already in Greece – God, Hoseok can’t believe he found out
about the destination for the last two weeks as he was in the car away from the mansion.
They would fulfill their dream of being in a foreign city holding hands. It was going to be
amazing. For nearly a month now, it was the only thing about the show that they were
looking forward to. Right now, wherever he is, Yoongi is grouchy and undoubtedly a little
homicidal whenever he’s near Producer Dad. Hoseok just feels empty and sad.

Hoseok didn’t realize how excited he was to get the final rose until he couldn’t have it. He’s
been thinking about it every night since he was shipped off back to the city. Yoongi would
take him to somewhere beautiful in Greece, tell Hoseok that he’s the only man in the world
and kiss him like he means it. Hoseok would hold that rose and keep its dried petals with all
the others. Soon after that, the show would be over. They would do the “After the Final
Rose” special and talk about how in love they are. Everything would be perfect.

The two weeks in Greece consists of the “overnight dates,” and Yoongi will probably spend
the night with Namjoon having a philosophical discussion about their future careers and
about how much Namjoon loves Seokjin. Yoongi and Seokjin will undoubtedly spend their
date ordering as much expensive food as they can to break TB BWBB SK OTC LC’s bank.
Or maybe D would be there instead of one of the other two and Yoongi would have locked D
in the bathroom so that he doesn’t have to see him. He’ll never get to have it, but Yoongi’s
overnight date with Hoseok… well Europe is a different continent.

Hoseok has now watched The Bachelor four times in full. Horrifically, a special
unprecedented episode was released two days ago – replacing regularly scheduled
programming – that shows the story of Hoseok being sent home. That’s the only episode he
hasn’t watched more than once. Well, except the episode where he and Yoongi were caught
stripping in the park, but Jimin fast forwards around that part for him. Hoseok can’t handle
the look of sadness and defeat in his eyes when he was sent home. The face he saw in the
mirror as he waited for his sentence is all the memory he’ll ever need of that day.

Hoseok is stunned, disgusted, or in some way impressed with the way that the show is edited.
Like, obviously Yoongi cares about Hoseok, but D is somehow… not a jerk? D seems like a
funny, interesting guy and Hoseok is sick to his stomach about it. The guy goes from Hyde to
Jekyll in zero seconds flat. This complete personality split makes Hoseok hate him more.
How dare he get off being a good guy when everyone else in the house knows what a
complete waste of breath he is. The only time where D’s façade cracks is leading up to
Hoseok punching him. There is something a little bit satisfying about watching himself deck
D in the nose. Maybe it’s just in Hoseok’s head, but he thinks he can hear his nose crack
when his fist hits D. Hoseok looks at his knuckles to see the D shaped bruise that’s left there.

Despite D not coming across as a bad guy on TV, Yoongi is still visibly in love with Hoseok.
He kind of slaps you in the face with it. Hoseok finally gets to see Yoongi’s solo interviews to
the camera where he gushes about the little things Hoseok does that he never thought anyone
would notice, much less care about. Yoongi really does care about him. Sitting on the couch
next to Jimin, whose already watched the show, Hoseok feels shy whenever Yoongi talks
about him. He always starts out shy and then he’ll start smiling widely once he says Hoseok’s
name. Even as Hoseok’s in pain sitting on his couch, he still can’t help but to smile back at
him. That’s his Yoongi, gushing about him the same way the Hoseok on screen does.

Hoseok is surprised at how little screen time is actually dedicated to himself. It’s not like his
ultimate dream is to be on camera at all times, but considering how much time he was with
Yoongi, he’s surprisingly absent from a lot of the show. Their mornings together are only
glossed over a few times. He’s thankful for the privacy they have, but then he feels offended
that there’s screen time of Yoongi with Taehyung or Seokjin with a heart vignette. That stuff
never happened. Hoseok has total confidence in his relationship to know that Yoongi never
flirted with any of those other guys. Yoongi is so bad at eye contact that it’s laughable, but
once Hoseok is with him, his eyes never stray.

Hoseok falls in love with Yoongi more and more with each second he sees him. The way
Yoongi talks when he’s by himself or the way he interacts with people when Hoseok isn’t
there. Yoongi is such a grump at the beginning of the show and Hoseok’s heart can’t handle
it. He looks so pissed off whenever he’s by himself. Hoseok remembers their first time
stargazing when he admitted to him the real reason he was on the show. Yoongi said he was
only there to promote his mixtape. He certainly wasn’t kidding.

As the show progresses, Yoongi’s cool, unbothered exterior softens up to someone Hoseok is
more familiar with. Yoongi is a lot quieter when Hoseok isn’t there. He speaks in a lower
voice, doesn’t laugh as much, and his resting face is unamused. Cut to whenever he’s with
Hoseok and his smile is unimaginable. His teeth are so cute and his eyes scrunch up and no
one else can pull that laugh out of him. No one else can make Yoongi the bubbly vibrant
person that Hoseok knows.

“You can see it,” Jimin says, cuddling up against Hoseok as they rewatch the first episode for
the sixth or seventh time. Jimin pauses on the moment where Hoseok steps out of the limo.
“Just look at him.”

It’s true. Yoongi is clearly nervous every time someone new steps out of the limo. But when
Hoseok steps out, he looks shocked. He looks like he has no clue what to do with himself.
How did they continue on with the show after that introduction? When Hoseok is able to stop
his own distaste for seeing himself on camera, he can see it in his own eyes. They really did
know right then and there, didn’t they?

The five minutes they had alone together on the first night is even worse. Yoongi has to ask
almost every person to remind him of their name. But not Hoseok. He remembers Hoseok.
Their conversation doesn’t start out awkward like all the others. They’re instantly best
friends. Hoseok remembers what they talked about so vividly, but his memory doesn’t do
justice to how hard they were flirting with each other.

“He’s so perfect,” Hoseok says wistfully. His eyes are red and sore from crying, but he forces
them to stay open so that he can look at Yoongi.

“Do you see the way he looked at me?” Jimin rewinds to his own conversation with Yoongi.
Yoongi clearly enjoys Jimin, but their conversation is filed with awkward silences and small
talk. Yoongi’s base level is 10 but shoots up to 100 with Hoseok. People watching this
premiere must have known, because it’s so obvious.

“It’s like he thinks I’m the only man in the world,” Hoseok says, fisting the blanket up higher
but it doesn’t imitate the warmth of Yoongi’s body next to his.

“To him, you are,” Jimin says.

“I know I am,” Hoseok says, using the blanket to push away a tear. “And I miss him so
goddamn much.”

Jimin gives him a really big hug, but he’s all the wrong shapes. Jimin isn’t boney like Yoongi
is. Jimin has muscles in all the incorrect places and his legs aren’t like little chicken legs.
Jimin has too much squish here or not enough squish there. His hair isn’t the same texture,
and it doesn’t smell as good and it’s not as pretty. In other words: Jimin is someone else’s
perfect. But only Yoongi is Hoseok’s perfect.

Hoseok’s stomach starts to cave in on itself again and Hoseok puts his face in his hands when
he starts crying. He misses Yoongi so goddamn much. He doesn’t want to think about what
Producer Dad said to Yoongi to get him to stay. Hoseok knows his Yoongi too well, and since
he does know him that well, he knows that Yoongi has a good reason for not leaving the
show right after him. It probably has something to do with the lawsuit that he’s been told D is
considering filing.

It’s all so much, and Hoseok doesn’t know how to handle it. He still feels like a kid
sometimes. He doesn’t see himself as being in the latter half of his twenties. When he looks
in the mirror, he just sees a little kid who’s playing dress up as an adult. He doesn’t know
how to handle possible lawsuits or living apart from the man he loves. He doesn’t know how
to confront what people are saying online. Jimin tells him reactions to him are
overwhelmingly positive, but he doesn’t have the stomach to actually look. Hoseok isn’t
strong enough for any of this, and he has to do it all by himself.

He wishes everything was easy again. He doesn’t know what life he wants to go back to. He
doesn’t want to go back to being on the show, but he doesn’t want to go back to where he was
before the show, which is where he is right now. He wants a new life completely. He wants a
life with Yoongi and with his best friends. He wants to bring Yoongi to his practice studio to
watch him dance. He wants to introduce Yoongi to his family and he wants them to live in a
tiny, ugly, goddamn apartment that doesn’t fit them. What he really wants is for everything to
be okay. He doesn’t want the weight of this show over him anymore.

“I think I need some time alone,” Hoseok frowns. His voice feels croaky, as he pulls himself
from the blanket.

Jimin nods, “Okay. Are you going to jerk off to Yoongi’s mixtape again?”

“Possibly,” Hoseok says.

Jimin doesn’t make any attempt of making fun of him, because he kind of gets it. Obviously
not because of Yoongi, but he has two boyfriends whom he’s not currently with, so everyone
has their coping mechanisms.

Hoseok walks over to his bedroom, which is a pretty generous word for it. Closet with a bed
is more like it. His apartment is three rooms, but only because there are doors separating
them. The living room and kitchen are the same thing, and neither would be large enough to
be a room if they were their own separate spaces. Hoseok is lucky to have a functioning
bathroom, but the bathroom is so small that you can’t change your mind once you’ve entered
it. It’s a big change going from that mansion back to his little pay by the month.
Hoseok’s bed is the only decent piece of furniture he owns. It’s a little small, but it’s soft and
has a few of the plushies he hasn’t let go of and probably never will. Unfortunately, it smells
too much like him and not enough like Yoongi.

He wraps himself up under his blankets and grabs his pillow. He breathes deeply for a few
moments, thinking that maybe he’ll be able to hold back any tears, but he’s weak. Hoseok
remembers the way that Yoongi had held him that night on the basketball court. It’s one of
the greatest memories he’s made the last two months. He also remembers spooning with
Yoongi on the couch and trying to pay attention to a movie with Jimin and Taehyung but all
he did was let Yoongi talk to him. Every memory of Yoongi surpasses whatever greatest
memories he has from before Yoongi. Hoseok’s won competitions that didn’t feel as good as
that time at the amusement park when Yoongi first called him ‘Seok.’

Hoseok wouldn’t say he’s prone to panic attacks, but the pressure of the show has put undue
stress on him. Being on the show poked and prodded at things he would have been able to
handle on his own but being near cameras has been heavy on him. He’s going to be okay for
now, he thinks. At this moment, the ache of Yoongi’s absence doesn’t make him worry about
reintroducing himself to what he had for breakfast. That doesn’t he mean he isn’t leaving
stains on his pillow from his tears and snot.

He’s made the decision to take a nap when his phone starts ringing. Hoseok huffs, because
he’s not up for this. He turns on his phone to check who it is, but it’s not a number his phone
recognizes. He’d really prefer ignoring the call, but something in his head thinks it might be
someone from the show. Maybe they’re calling to apologize, and they want him to come
back? That idea is stupid, but he picks it up, nonetheless.

“Is this Jung Hoseok?” the voice on the other end of the phone asks. It’s a man’s voice, and
Hoseok recognizes it, but he can’t pull up the proper memory right now, because the phone
makes the voice sound tinny.

“Yes, and who’s this?”

The man sighs, and says, “This is D.” Hearing him say his actual name is a little off-putting
so Hoseok’s brain censors the name. He goes from depressed to angry real quick, though.

“Right, well I’m going to hang up now,” Hoseok says, immediately pulling the phone from
his ear. He doesn’t want to hear this right now or ever. He wants to punch the fucking weasel
in the face again. He almost misses the feeling of D’s jaw under his fist.

“Wait wait wait!” he says loudly, and it’s loud enough that Hoseok’s finger hesitates over the
red end call button. He purses his lips and brings the phone back to his ear.

“Why should I?” Hoseok asks.

“I really need to talk to you. I need to apologize.” Whoa, the word apologize is in D’s
vocabulary?

“You need to what now?” Hoseok asks. An apology? From this motherfucker? What alternate
dimension did Hoseok accidentally walk into? This new dimension had better still have
Yoongi in it so that he can relay this phone call to him. A phone call that’s already insane
despite neither of them saying anything yet.

“I need to apologize. For a lot of things, really.”

“Yeah, you do. But why are you doing that? You’re… you. I can’t even begin to describe the
hatred I have for you.”

“I know, and I get it,” D says. “But I want to just explain what all happened.” Hoseok doesn’t
say anything, as waits for an explanation. If he doesn’t like it, he’ll just hang up right here,
block the number, and try never to think about him again. D takes a deep breath, “So, I
should start off by telling you that I’m an actor.”

“You’re… what?” Hoseok asks. He’s not sure he understands the word. Actor? As in
someone who is fake? Someone who pretends? Seokjin is an actor too, but when D says actor
does he mean that he was acting on the show?

“Yeah, I’m an actor. I was hired by the show to cause trouble and disrupt things,” he says.
Hoseok feels his jaw tighten. He’d almost rather hear D admit to just being a douchebag.
He’s still a douchebag, but is he now trying to gain sympathy from Hoseok? “I wanted to tell
you a thousand times. I wanted to explain myself or reassure you that I’m not as terrible off
screen as I was on screen. But I got carried away. A lot.”

“Is this meant to excuse your behavior? Am I supposed to forget you calling Yoongi and me a
whore? Or forget how you intimidated me and other guys in the house for weeks? Or how
you were an all-around rude and shitty person?

“No, it’s not an excuse. I fucked up a lot. See, I started out just being a show-offy jerk,
because that’s what they wanted. But then there was this one guy – Producer Dad I think you
call him – who kept telling me to lay it on heavier and heavier. I should have had more
agency, I know that, but I said and did what he wanted me to. He wanted me not to make
friends with any of you, and he wanted me to stir the pot whenever I could. He wanted me to
act rude in front of the camera sometimes and then polite other times. I just did what I was
told. I shouldn’t have though. I should’ve… I should have done a lot of things differently.”

“So everything, everything, it was all an act?”

“Pretty much,” D says. “And what happened that morning… I deserved it. You hitting me,
like, I get it. In the moment, I was angry with you, because I just thought to myself ‘well, I’m
an actor, he shouldn’t be hitting me, I’m just doing my job’ but then I remember that you had
no idea. No one else was in on it besides me and some of the crew. I’ve been looking back on
it since I got send home and I realized that Producer Dad coordinated the whole thing. He
told me to say those words and I went along with it like I always had before. I knew it was
cruel, but I was already so far deep into the narrative that I still did it.”

Hoseok feels his eyes leaking again, but he doesn’t want to be crying in front of this guy. It’s
so much for him to handle. He doesn’t want to believe it, but it makes so much sense.
Producer Dad is the sort of shitty person who would orchestrate the entire thing. He never
liked Hoseok. From their first date where he and Yoongi annoyed him in that limo and every
day after. Sneaking off to the park that night was probably the final nail in Hoseok’s coffin.
He would do anything to sabotage Hoseok’s relationship, including, apparently, recruiting
this shithead to do his dirty work.

“I’m so stupid,” Hoseok puts his head in his hand and tries to force nothing to be true. He
doesn’t know if it’s possible that he could’ve seen through the whole scheme, but he isn’t
ready to face the bombshell of it. D is quiet for a long time on the other end of the phone, and
Hoseok doesn’t know how to reopen the conversation. His mind is swimming in all of these
thoughts. He still hates D with all of his heart. No matter what his motivations were, or who
told him to say what, he heard D call Yoongi a whore from his mouth. That’s a decision that
he made.

“Just because you were acting doesn’t mean you deserve forgiveness,” Hoseok says
eventually.

“I know that. I know that I said and did a lot of things that are unforgiveable, and I absolutely
do not expect you to give me any forgiveness. Actually, I’d prefer it if you didn’t. I feel
horrible about the way I acted. I guess I just got so involved with the character that I forgot
how to be a real person. But I’m not here to make excuses or anything like that. I’m just
calling to explain. Honestly? I think you did the right thing, punching me in the face. In the
heat of the moment, I was just pissed off and playing a role. I should’ve broken character
right then and there. Producer Dad set the whole thing up and I was a pawn. You did what
should have been done. You were in the right.”

“I know I was,” Hoseok says. “You were trying to demean someone I love.”

“I’m a piece of shit, I know. Anyway, I don’t want to take up any more of your time. I just
wanted you to know the truth. And I want you to know that anything they’ve said about me,
if they said I was going to sue or if they threatened you in anyway using my name, I just want
you to know it’s all fake. I have no intention of suing or doxing you or anything at all. I just
want to reassure you that like, I’m not going to bother you ever again. You can be completely
through of me for the rest of your life, and I swear I won’t ever try to ruin you or your
relationship. I really do swear it.”

“You’re still…” Hoseok doesn’t know what to think right now. He still hates this man so
much, and there’s no way for him to completely remove the person he’s known these past
months from the person talking to him on the phone. It’s the same voice, but it’s not the same
words. This is a completely different human being from D. This man is named Sangkwan.
Sure, Hoseok doesn’t like him, but something in him decides that it’s time for him to let go of
‘D’. “To me, you’re always going to be a monster. I’m glad that you’re reassuring me, but I
will always see you as the complete trash who always tried to scare me and who slut shamed
Yoongi.”

“Yeah,” Sangkwan says, sounding somber. “I know.”

“But at least… I guess, thank you. Fuck you for all of that other stuff but thank you for telling
me the truth.”
 “Yeah,” he says, sounding a little bit less depressed than a moment ago. “I hope you and
Yoongi are happy with each other. I mean it. And I hope to god that you go to him, wherever
he is right now. I hope you go to him.”

Hoseok breathes in. He lets the room be quiet for a little while longer before hangs up with
him. He doesn’t want to say goodbye or good riddance because neither of them feel right.
He’s going to have to navigate all of the internal emotions he has about that man some other
time when a thousand things aren’t rolling through his head.

It’s only a minute later when Jimin knocks on his door. Hoseok groans, not interested in
trying to explain what just happened when he doesn’t fully understand it himself. He decides
to just ignore him and put his face in his pillow. He feels both hopeful and stupid. This is a lot
for him to handle right now but it eases away a significant stressor from him. If D or
Sangkwan or whoever doesn’t plan on suing, there’s no reason for Hoseok to be here. Except
of course for the fact that he has no idea where Yoongi is. He’s left hanging on how much he
misses Yoongi, and that’s more painful than the threat ever was.

Jimin knocks again. Hoseok pulls his head from his pillow to shout at the door, “I’m having
an emotional crisis, can it wait?”

“Hoseokie, I think you’re going to want to see this,” Jimin says. He doesn’t wait before he
walks in. Jimin isn’t modest with his own body so he’s not particularly modest with
Hoseok’s, but thankfully, Hoseok is still entirely clothed. Even though before that phone call
he was thinking about putting on Agust D and letting shit happen.

“What is it?” Hoseok looks very annoyed, but Jimin takes a seat on the bed next to him.

“Someone just leaked a video that I think you’re going to want to watch.”

Chapter End Notes

Okay, I'm trying not to get emotional over the fact that there's only one chapter left, but I
am. Have no fear though, there will be at least two more stories in this universe. I
created a series so you can go ahead and follow that if you want more from these boys.

In exciting news, I have just posted the first chapter of my new fic which you can find
here. It's a Stardust AU, but a lot gayer, and I'm really excited to write it. I hope you can
at least check out the first chapter and leave me a comment if you're interested. It's
entirely different from this fic, but I hope that you guys all come along for the ride with
me!

Today's comment prompt is a little self-congratulatory, but I'd like to know what your
favorite part of this fic has been so far. This question may or may not have something to
do with one of the sequels ;)
 Series Finale
Chapter Summary

This is the last chapter of the main story, but in no way the last you'll be seeing of these
boys.

Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes

{{

(The Bachelor: Boys Will Be Boys SK Audition Tape Jung Hoseok)

[Producer Dad]: Please state your name.

Hoseok: My name is Jung Hoseok.

[Producer Dad]: And what is it that you do, Mr. Jung?

Hoseok: I… well I do a lot of things. Sometimes I’m the assistant to a realtor, other times I’m
an assistant to a hedge fund manager. Sometimes I sell printer cartridges. It really depends on
the month for me. But what I really do is dance.

[Producer Dad]: Dance?

Hoseok: (Smiling widely) Yeah! You know, like, freestyle?

[Producer Dad]: (I don’t care) That’s nice. How did you find out about this show and why
are you here today?

Hoseok: Well, I found out about the show through a post online. I don’t know really why I’m
here. I just am.

[Producer Dad]: So, as this is your second round of auditions, I assume you’ve seen the
video of our Bachelor, correct?

Hoseok: [Blushing] Yeah. He’s… oh boy, well he’s super cute.

[Producer Dad]: What makes you think you would be a good fit for this show? Why do you
think we should choose you to meet the bachelor?

Hoseok: Well, I think my own merit is simple that I’m fun, outgoing, and… loud. I get along
with people easily. I don’t think it would be too difficult for people to like me on screen, if
that’s alright for me to say. But as for why I think I’d be a good for Yoongi… I don’t know. I
 think he’s interesting. He looked so confused as to how he even got here, and I kind of feel
the same way. He was sarcastic and funny. I guess I just think we’re going to get along.

[Producer Dad]: (Did he watch the same video that I did?) Do you think he’ll fall in love
with you?

Hoseok: There’s no way for me to know that. I’d like to try my chances. I can’t quite explain
it, but I felt a little spark when I saw him for the first time. Even though it was just a thirty
second video it feels like I’m supposed to know him. It’s weird, I felt as though I was seeing
a video of my friend, only I’ve never met this guy. A lot of it has to do with the fact that I
find him gorgeous, but I also think I’m a pretty good judge of character. Something about
Yoongi makes me feel close to him. I want to know more about who he is, what he does. And
I love… I love just, I don’t know, the sound of his name. Yoongi. It feels right to say, doesn’t
it?

[Producer Dad]: But what makes you special? I’ve overlooked a hundred other auditions.
Why are you the right choice for this show?

Hoseok: I suppose because the only reason I showed up for this second audition was because
I saw him in that video. I could have abandoned the whole thing if I saw “The Bachelor” and
felt nothing, but I know that I can’t give up before meeting him. Listen, I want to meet him. I
know I’ll be fun and charming on camera, but more than anything, I have every intention of
getting him to fall in love with me as long as that’s what he wants too. I actually feel… I
don’t know, I’m actually legitimately scared that I won’t get to meet him, that you won’t
choose me, and I’ll never know. I have to know. I just have to. He pulls me in. I’m ready to
be in love – more than ready – and what if Yoongi is the one I’ve been waiting for? What if
this is my one shot? I can’t blow it.

**Notes from the director: This one is too innocent. Yoongi will eat him up alive and then
break his heart. Exactly what we’re looking for.

}}

Greece is bullshit. Athens is bullshit. Greek landmarks are bullshit. Greek shops are bullshit.
Greek food is actually pretty good but that’s because Yoongi’s been overeating to compensate
for the emptiness left in his chest.

Nothing helps. The first day of being without him, he thought if he got really, really drunk
that he’d forget how depressed he was, but it turns out that alcohol just magnifies how much
he misses Hoseok. It just left a crying Yoongi with his head on Seokjin’s lap talking about
how unfair life is. Now, Yoongi stews in his own misery fully sober.

It’s not healthy, and he knows it isn’t, but he’s never been in love before and he isn’t
equipped to handle the separation. He’s fallen so hard and so fast that to have Hoseok ripped
away from him so quickly – without a goodbye – isn’t something he knows how to accept.
The fact that it’s been a whole week, that it might be two more weeks, three more weeks, or
longer before he can see Hoseok again is a sharp, stabbing kind of pain.
Yoongi’s been through breakups that didn’t hurt this bad. He didn’t even breakup with
Hoseok, but the agony is the same. One minute they were perfect and laughing, the next
minute Yoongi is going to sleep alone.

He’s never done anything that bad in his life. He’s been rude to people for sure, but he’s
never done anything to seriously damage anyone. So, he doesn’t know why he deserves this.
He doesn’t know why Hoseok would deserve this either. They’re supposed to just be happy,
in love, having the time of their lives with each other, but instead, Producer Dad is doing his
best to blackball Yoongi’s entire life and career. He doesn’t know how he’s going to make it
out of this.

How is it possible that so many weeks ago, all Yoongi cared about was promoting his
mixtape? How was it possible that he didn’t predict Hoseok? It feels like his life should have
given him a warning that he was about to meet his one and only, but instead he was caught
totally unaware.

Meeting Hoseok was like a car crash. Suddenly everything was completely different. He
never picked up all the pieces and he doesn’t think he wants to. What’s the point in being the
Yoongi of the past anyway? That Yoongi didn’t have a soft center. That Yoongi couldn’t have
even defined love. That Yoongi was a bit too cynical and kind of miserable. Well, the Yoongi
right now is pretty miserable now as well, but it’s not because of his own life decisions. This
pain is all Producer Dad’s fault.

Yoongi won’t let them put makeup on him anymore. He won’t let anyone do his hair or tell
him how to act. He just ignores every instruction. Producer Dad slaps him around a little bit
more, but he doesn’t really notice. The man already thinks he owns Yoongi, the least Yoongi
can do is pretend he doesn’t hear him.

He, Namjoon, and Seokjin have all refused to give any interviews in a week. Yoongi doesn’t
even think it’s possible for there to be content for the show anymore. He’s been shoved into
going on a date with the both of them, and through some unspoken agreement, whoever he’s
on a date with doesn’t smile at him. They just look at each other, talk about things far less
interesting than when he and Hoseok talked about dirt, and show the camera exactly how
miserable they are.

It’s different right before they all to go sleep at night. The show has rented out a small little
house, it seems vaguely traditional but a little too modern. It’s on the outskirts of Athens and
honestly the only thing he likes about it is how small it is compared to the mansion back in
Korea. Like everything else in Greece – even the sidewalks – the floor is decked out in
marble, but it’s not particularly extravagant marble. It’s not actually a bad place to be. If
Hoseok were here, this would be a bright and wonderful place to spend a vacation. But
without Hoseok it’s just an ugly little shack.

When the cameras aren’t rolling and they’re all huddled up in one room together, things
aren’t so bad. When they’re all alone at night before bed, Yoongi sometimes manages to
laugh because Seokjin is great company. Namjoon makes the weight on his shoulders a little
less heavy. Yoongi does feel like a third wheel of course, but they both support and love him.
But then he goes to sleep and the darkness is there. Or he’ll leave the room, make eye contact
with a camera lens, and everything sucks again.
He’s probably annoying. He’s probably not a great friend right now because he only cares
about his boyfriend. He’s supposed to be Namjoon’s wingman with Seokjin, but he’s been
slacking. He doesn’t really care about their relationship right now. In the back of his mind, it
would be great for them to admit how they feel, but he doesn’t have the capacity to care.

Yoongi is a selfish person and he’s never denied that. He cares about himself and Hoseok,
and that’s it. He wouldn’t risk his life for anyone in his family or any of his friends. He’d
only risk himself for Hoseok, because Hoseok is literally the only person he cares more about
than himself. He knows that Hoseok is far more selfless. Hoseok doesn’t just care about
Yoongi more than himself, he also cares about Taehyung, Namjoon, and every one of their
other friends. Hoseok would walk into a burning building for probably a dozen people.
Yoongi doesn’t know how he hit the jackpot because he considers himself to be so much less
than Hoseok.

It’s not good to compare himself to others, but Hoseok is better. That’s just obvious. One of
the greatest things about being with Hoseok is that he makes Yoongi a better version of
himself. He’s discovered a new type of laugh that he didn’t know he had inside himself which
is so violent that it makes him struggle to breathe. He also didn’t know that he could like
someone clinging to him so freely, like when Hoseok throws his body on top of him when he
laughs. He didn’t even know how to make eye contact before Hoseok. Now to be fair, the
only person he is able to make eye contact with is still Hoseok, but he’s working on it.

He can feel Hoseok thinking about him at every minute. Almost like they have some
telepathic link. Hoseok misses holding Yoongi in his arms as much as Yoongi misses being
held by him. Well, maybe a little bit less than Yoongi misses it actually. Fuck, Yoongi even
misses the moments that he regrets. He misses when they were caught half naked on the
basketball court and when they had to hide even when they wanted to kiss. There isn’t a
moment of knowing Hoseok that he wouldn’t go back to right now if he had the chance.

Hoseok is 8000 miles away from him. That’s about 8000 miles too far. Even Hoseok sitting
on his lap would still be too far away. He loves him so much he wishes that they could just
cut the crap and be the same person. But then he wouldn’t be able to talk to him and cuddle
him so he supposes that as long as their skin touches they’re close enough.

Yoongi is counting the days since he last saw Hoseok and with every new checkmark comes
a new layer of despair. Producer Dad will yell at him, hit him over the head and tell him to
stop moping, but Yoongi just eats too much food and looks dead in the eyes. He bleached his
hair white so many months ago so that he’d look like a ghost, and now the roots are ruining
the image, but at least the dead look in his eyes gives off the right effect.

He’s in the middle of a tedious as all hell conversation with Namjoon in the living room
before the commotion starts. He cannot take this man. Namjoon is so nice, and he is
obviously a close friend, but after all that has happened, without Hoseok by his side, he
doesn’t want to be near anyone. Everyone annoys Yoongi when they’re not him. Namjoon
should be interesting and wise but Yoongi is feeling especially down today because he
dreamed about Hoseok last night and woke up to feeling like his bed is empty. Seokjin gave
him a hug to try to cheer him up, but he doesn’t feel the same as Hoseok. He’s too tall and he
doesn’t smell the same. Jimin gives the second-best hugs that Yoongi has ever had but they’re
still comparatively shit.

He should be having a great time right now! He’s in Greece, which is probably the prettiest
country in the world, but he hates it. This place is hideous and dull because he’s not
experiencing it with his Hoseok. He’s so tired of pretending anything. Producer Dad wants
him to pretend that he cares about Namjoon or Seokjin romantically when everyone knows
that he doesn’t. He’s also supposed to pretend like he’s not miserable. He can’t act like he’s
enjoying this country because all he wants is the man who he’s in love with. Hoseok could
make a dumpster a wonderful place to be. But without him, everywhere really is nothing but
a dumpster.

Yoongi hears a sound coming from somewhere and Namjoon stops his words in his tracks as
they both look around the room for the source of the sound. It’s clear that something is going
on when one of the producers – who are never supposed to be seen or heard on camera –
leaves the room hurriedly. He hears the sound of a whispered one-sided conversation into a
headset in the hall outside, and it sounds important.

“What’s happening?” Namjoon asks, looking surprised and confused.

“Fucked if I know,” Yoongi says, standing up. A crew member comes out of the woodwork,
and holds up her hands, motioning for Yoongi to sit back down. Yoongi’s obviously not going
to fucking listen to this lady though, so he just stands up and sidesteps her. He looks around
at the camera which is still centered on him. The look he gives the lens, silently asking for an
explanation, is matched on Namjoon’s face. Even the cameraman looks confused.

“Yoongi, sir, please just stay still and wait for us to resolve the issue,” she says.

“What issue? What’s going on?”

“Nothing to worry about, just stay where you are.”

“Fuck that,” he says, going into the next room, a bunch of people following him: Namjoon,
cameraman, two other crew members besides the woman who’s still trying to tell him what to
do. He doesn’t see Producer Dad, which is unusual. Lately it seems like he’s a tick that
Yoongi can’t get rid of. Standing in the kitchen, clearly just having woken up from a nap, is
Seokjin.

“What’s happening?” Seokjin asks, looking around at the congregation of cameras, crew
members, and a whole lot of panic.

“They won’t tell us,” Namjoon says.

“If you don’t tell me what’s happening in the next thirty seconds, I’m causing property
damage,” Yoongi says to the woman who told him to sit down.

“That’s not necessary. We’re solving the problem.”

“What is the fucking problem?” Yoongi says, angrily. He’s so fed up with everything.
Producer Dad is as good as blackmailing him, he’s in a foreign country without Hoseok. He
and Hoseok had so many plans for being abroad together. They were going to have nice
dinners and take walks and fuck on a new continent. It was going to be amazing. But now
he’s here, all alone, facing god knows how many more weeks or months of Producer Dad’s
vindictive bullshit. Nothing is fair, and he’s sick of playing the games. He’s going to cause as
much trouble as he wants, no matter how much it’ll cost him if he starts tearing doors off the
cabinets.

Maybe he’s at his breaking point. Maybe this is where he draws the line. Too many orders
and annoyance and he’s ready to break shit and run away. Fines and lawsuits in an instant feel
like nothing to him. What’s it fucking matter? Money isn’t real. Fame isn’t real. Nothing is
real. The things that Yoongi can feel and touch are what are true and important.

Then, they all hear someone banging on the front door. It would be like a horror movie if not
for the fact that the voice that starts calling out is the only one that Yoongi cares about. His
breath catches as everything turns silent. He wastes no time in skidding out of the room,
socked feet slipping on the shiny marbled floors. He literally can’t get to the door fast
enough, despite someone yelling at him not to.

When he opens the front door, he barely takes a second to look at him before he’s literally
jumping into Hoseok who catches him just as he always will. Yoongi’s feet lift from the
ground as their lips smash together. The action is desperate and serious, but it’s the most fun
Yoongi can remember having in the days since he’s been gone. Maybe the most fun he’s ever
had, just kissing Hoseok like he’s come back from the dead.

“What took you so long?” he says, kissing all over Hoseok’s face.

“I had to bribe a producer just to figure out where you were,” Hoseok chides. It totally
slipped his mind that Yoongi is in fucking Greece right now. “And they threatened to sue
me,” he says, almost casually before Yoongi’s feet return to the ground. “I was just going to
wait until taping was over to come find you, but then I watched the show and I missed you
too much. I couldn’t stand being away from you anymore. So, I’m here, hoping desperately
that you might be able to forgive me for socking poor, sweet, little King Douchebag in the
nose.”

“I think I can forgive you for that,” Yoongi says, kissing him again.

Producer Dad – where the hell did Producer Dad come from? – says with an edge of fear to
his voice, “Boys, this is really unprofessional. Jung Hoseok, I need to ask you to leave. Your
contract explicitly told you that once you were asked to leave the show, you couldn’t return.
We will forcibly remove you from the premises if we have to.”

“I don’t give a shit about the contract. I don’t give a shit about any of this,” Hoseok says,
taking Yoongi’s hands into his own, and looking him in the eye. “Yoongi, whatever they’ve
told you is a lie, they told me the same thing. D isn’t trying to sue me. And I know they can’t
sue you either. Someone leaked a video of Producer Dad hitting you, Yoongi. The entire
world has seen it. Everyone knows what kind of a monster he is. They don’t have a leg to
stand on.”
“What?” Yoongi asks, eyes wide. There’s a video? Someone actually caught it on camera?
What does that even mean? All of Yoongi’s thoughts are slow right now. The man he loves is
standing right in front of him looking too good for this world, and Yoongi has to rationalize
existing in his presence. There are more variables than just him and Hoseok, though. There
are cameras, people he doesn’t know, people he does. And Producer Dad, who might have
been caught making a career ending mistake that gives Yoongi the ultimate freedom.

“It’s all okay,” Hoseok says, “Everything is perfect. You and I can do anything we want.”

“This really can’t stand!” Producer Dad says, obviously not having heard what Hoseok just
said. Yoongi turns to look at him and his eyes blaze a new color. If what Hoseok said is true,
Yoongi might be the one who can file a lawsuit.

“Yoongi,” Hoseok says, pulling his attention back. Yoongi is only now noticing that he’s
covered in sweat, obviously having ran here. He doesn’t even know where Hoseok could
have run from. Korea? The plane over here can’t have been cheap, but isn’t it so fucking
romantic? Hoseok flew all the way to Greece for the romantic gesture of it. It’s the end of
every romantic comedy movie, and Yoongi is living for it.

“Yoongi,” Hoseok says again, “Run away with me.”

“What?” he asks, because he genuinely doesn’t hear his voice over the sound of his own heart
beating.

“Run away with me, Yoongi. Ditch this place.”

“Yes,” he says, without hesitation this time.

“Min Yoongi, you cannot be serious right now,” Producer Dad says. “Get back inside of the
house, and we can discuss what we’ll do about this situation. You too, Hoseok. We’ll work
something out, okay? I promise. But please, you cannot simply run out like this. It’s in your
contract.”

He knows the cameras are rolling. He knows that this scene is going to be captured. And he
also knows that he, Yoongi, is the star of this show. He calls the shots, even if the production
team think that they do. All this time, the entire span of the show, he has had more power
than anyone else. Yoongi is the one who the viewers at home are rooting for. His words are
the ones that people hear. His decision on who to give roses to is his decision ultimately. No
one else’s. What he says goes. How has he never realized just how much power he actually
has? Without a star, there is no show.

“Let’s run away together,” Yoongi says firmly, looking into Hoseok’s eyes. Yoongi hurriedly
slips into his ugly expensive shows left beside the front door and then he grabs Hoseok’s
hand and starts to pull him through the doorway. It’s muggy and humid outside of the house,
but it’s not like that really matters.

“You have a contract, Min Yoongi!” Producer Dad says. The entire crew, as well as Seokjin
and Namjoon are now either gathered outside the house or watching them on view screens
somewhere else. Honestly, some of the crew don’t even look offended. There are a few
people who have always been by his side, like the cameraman who’s favorite color is yellow
and the guy who snuck in Jimin’s hair dye. He wishes Makeup Auntie was here too so he
could give her a big grin.

“Don’t listen to him,” Hoseok says quietly, before he whispers into his ear. “We hold all the
cards. He should never have slapped you around. Wouldn’t it feel so damn good to sue that
man for all he’s got?” Yoongi smiles. That would feel good. Yoongi’s not above revenge.
Sometimes there’s being a bigger person and other times there’s getting what you deserve.
Producer Dad will get what he deserves; Yoongi will see to it. “Oh, and by the way, your
album has been number one on the charts for three weeks now.”

“Yeah?” Yoongi says, letting Hoseok guide him down the front path of the house, ready to
leave this place behind. Producers are running, trying to stop them from leaving, and at least
four different cameras are all catching this. The two of them stepping backwards out onto the
front lawn, being pleaded with not to run anywhere by countless crew members. And then
there’s Producer Dad. He finally looks scared. Yoongi has known him for longer than he’s
known Hoseok and he’s never seen that look of terror in his eyes. It’s like he’s reliving all the
decisions he’s made. Hitting Yoongi, screaming at him, telling him what to do, degrading
him, threatening him. It’s all coming back to him.

And then there’s Hoseok and Yoongi, smiling widely with the taunting so clear in there eyes.
Nothing is going to stop them now. No words, no threats, nothing. Nothing can keep him
from running away into the night with Hoseok. Not a single thing.

Before they make it past the fence, though, Yoongi gets an idea. Everyone’s eyes are on them,
and soon, the eyes of millions of people in their country will be on them too. Hell, what
they’re about to do will break global headlines, he’s sure of it. This is going to be television
history, and he’s learned a lot over the last few months about how to give the camera exactly
what it wants.

“Wait, hold on just a second,” Yoongi says, letting go of his hand and giving Hoseok a look,
asking for his trust. Hoseok nods, eyebrows a little puzzled now, his smile not leaving him,
but definitely toning down just a little bit like it does whenever Yoongi walks away from him.
“Stay right there, okay?”

Then Yoongi jogs back up to the house. Producer Dad’s face lights up. He thinks for all of a
few seconds that Yoongi has come to his senses. That he’s coming back to the house, that he
just dumped Hoseok right there in the middle of the lawn. He must be delusional.

Namjoon and Seokjin give him confused stares. “Go back to him, what are you doing?”
Seokjin says.

Yoongi gives them a cheeky grin, before he ducks down right beside the front steps leading
up to the house. Here, he grabs a daisy from the bushes planted there. Looking back up, he
grins, gives a little salute meant only for his friends, and then turns back around and jogs to
Hoseok. He seems to realize what Yoongi’s plan is and he’s beaming. He’s never looked so
beautiful. Sweat sticking his hair to his forehead, big squishy cheeks taking over his face.
Fuck, Yoongi is in love with him. Yoongi is so far past being in love.
 “Jung Hoseok,” he says once he’s standing right in front of him.

“Yes, Min Yoongi?” he says, playing along.

“Will you accept this rose?”

“I will,” he says. The kiss they have next is earth shattering. It’s too open-mouthed for
decency, but not so much so that the camera won’t be able to show it. They kiss for so long.
This is probably the final act of defeat. No producer has anything they could possibly say that
could stop this moment from happening. Yoongi can imagine even Producer Dad giving up;
sat himself on the front steps and put his head in his hands.

It’s sinking in for everyone that once the two of them step outside of the fence around this
house, they’re gone for good, never coming back to this god forsaken show again. Alone, the
two of them together, racing through an unknown city. No cares given to what they’re leaving
behind. The only thing forward is the two of them.

Namjoon turns to Seokjin. He looks at him for a second, feeling the passion and fire from the
other two rippling into the world. It’s a good feeling, seeing them together at last. They don’t
have to worry about anything anymore, because they’re running off into the world. Once,
they’re gone that means the show is over, right? Namjoon wrinkles his eyebrows together
before he nods and pulls in Seokjin’s gaze, the love of his life. “Seokjin. Will you go on a
date with me?” Seokjin attacks him in a kiss so powerful that they fall over. Namjoon’s head
hits the ground painfully but he doesn’t even care. The kiss is like he’s angry at Namjoon.
Namjoon is pretty sure he asked the wrong question just now. He probably should have asked
Seokjin to marry him.

Yoongi and Hoseok don’t notice, because they’re too busy being painfully in love with each
other. Yoongi kisses him for so long that he’s lightheaded when they pull away.

“Let’s go,” Hoseok says, looking deep into his perfect brown eyes. Yoongi nods his head. He
quickly removes his mic pack from his shirt and throws it on the ground. Hoseok takes his
hand in his and then they run.

The last thing that the camera captures before they’re lost to the night is two matching, glow
in the dark smiles on their faces.

Chapter End Notes

Okay I'm emotional. Of course I'm emotional. This has been one of the easiest fics I've
ever written because I loved writing it so much. It was never hard for me to sit in front
of the computer to start writing this, which is something that I had been struggling with
for years before this fic came along. I was in such a rut in writing that I wondered if I
would be able to continue being a fic author, until I found this fandom and everything
just felt so easy again like it was 6 or 7 years ago when I started. I literally love this fic
so much, and I am so thankful for everyone who made it to the end with me.
That being said, this is not the end! You have a lot more in front of you if you subscribe
and bookmark this series! There will be a sequel that I'll post probably within the next
week or two which will pick up right where this fic leaves off. I'm also going to write a
short Namjin companion fic, some Vminkook stuff, and of course more Sope.

And also, a bonus if you have any interest in it: anyone who makes ANY art for this fic
will get a 750+ word fic for this universe about ANYTHING you want. I'll dedicate the
fic to you and show off your art if you allow me to! If you do choose to make art you
can link it to me here or on tumblr. This is both an excuse for me write more content that
caters to you guys, and also because I really love art :) I'm literally content to write
ficlets for this universe until the end of the time, no matter how short or stupid.

Okay, I've talked enough. Be sure to go read my Stardust AU because it needs a lot of
loving. Once again, thank you everyone for reading. It's been great and I hope to see you
all again very soon.
Please drop by the Archive and comment to let the creator know if you enjoyed their work!