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A Psychotherapy
of Love
psychosynthesis
in practice
John Firman
& Ann Gila
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A Psychotherapy of Love
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A PSYCHOTHERAPY OF LOVE
Psychosynthesis in Practice
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Dedicated to
ROBERTO ASSAGIOLI
and
CARL ROGERS
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Contents
Acknowledgments ix
Introduction 1
3 Spiritual Empathy 47
5 Empathic Resonance 77
Notes 151
References 173
Index 183
Acknowledgments
It is with great sadness and a broken heart that I, Ann Gila, tell you that
John Firman, my husband and co-author, died on June 23, 2008, four weeks
after we signed the contract with SUNY for the publication of this book.
John was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in late March and lived for only
three months beyond diagnosis.
John was passionate about psychology and especially Roberto Assagioli’s
psychosynthesis. In 1968, John had a peak experience that led him to search
for a psychology that spoke of such experiences. He discovered psychosyn-
thesis and a few years later he spent two months in Italy studying with
Roberto Assagioli. John’s heart and mind were committed to the develop-
ment of psychosynthesis theory, to the exploration of the role of the psy-
chotherapist in relationship to his or her client, and to the understanding of
the development and healing of the human person.
John and I had worked together briefly in psychosynthesis in the 1970s
and then parted as we pursued different directions in our lives. When we came
together again in 1987 John was working as a therapist at a Catholic parish in
Los Angeles and I was in private practice in Palo Alto, California. During the
first several years of our renewed friendship we commuted between our two
homes, spending many weekends sharing our personal and spiritual journeys,
reading many different psychological and spiritual approaches, and discussing
psychosynthesis theory. This was the beginning of our twenty years of work
together and led to the writing of our first two books and now the present one.
After our parting in the 1970s and considering the directions we had each
taken, it was improbable that we would come together again, but Spirit called
and our work together began. Our books have been born out of our shared
desire to know the truth of our lives, our love of psychosynthesis and psychol-
ogy, and our commitment to understand and serve our clients.
ix
x Ac k n o w l e d g m e n t s
1
2 A Psychotherapy of Love
over the course of a lifetime; love that allows the human spirit to thrive.
Looking even more closely at the operation of this love, however, we can see
that this is a particular type of love. This is a love that can see and embrace
the whole of who we are—in short, an empathic love.
This is a love that can see a baby beyond our hopes and fears for him, see
a child beyond our delight or disappointment with her. A love that can see a
friend distinct from our needs and expectations of him, see a partner and not
simply our ardor or anger toward her. And a love that can see a psychother-
apy client beyond our wish to cure or control, teach or advise him. This love
does not obliterate any of these motivations in us, but remains free of them
and so can reach beyond them.
It is therefore a love that can reach us no matter what our physical
appearance and behavior, no matter what our moods and thoughts, no mat-
ter what the condition of our person. We are touched at a level deeper than
what we feel or think about ourselves, deeper than our gifts and deficits,
deeper than our social roles or personal ego. Again, while none of these
aspects of ourselves is ignored or discounted—indeed these aspects of our-
selves may also be loved—we are yet not reduced to any of them. Loved like
this, we find ourselves free to appear as we are, to feel what we feel, to think
what we think. Free to discover who we authentically are.
To the extent we live in the conscious embrace of this love, our life jour-
ney unfolds gracefully. We are supported in negotiating each life-span devel-
opmental stage as it emerges; feel secure in synthesizing our gifts and devel-
oping skills; and have the wherewithal to engage the joy and the pain, the
successes and the failures, that life brings. Held in this love, we experience a
union with others and the world beyond any sense of dualistic separation or
alienation between self and other. We are thus at home with other people,
the wider world, and ourselves. There is a sense of basic trust and belonging
that invites us into the world to discover and follow our deepest callings.
But without this empathic love, when we are seen for what we have or do,
when we are used as objects for the needs and demands of the environment,
this foundation is undercut. We lose a sense of being a subject in communion
with others and the world and experience ourselves as objects separate and
alienated from others and the world. We then must undertake the desperate
task of surviving as a separate object in the world, to somehow become the
person we must be in order to find belonging and security, in fact, to find any
sort of existence at all.
Most deeply, when we are unseen and unloved for who we are, we expe-
rience emotional abandonment, neglect, and isolation, and ultimately face
the possibility of personal nonexistence itself. Threatened with personal
4 A Psychotherapy of Love
annihilation, we are not led to embrace and synthesize our unfolding poten-
tial, but are instead forced to truncate and distort this potential—largely
unconsciously and automatically—in order to survive within the nonem-
pathic environment. In this way we are dominated by environmental
demands and inwardly enter a state of profound and often hidden alienation
from self and other.
Living under the threat of annihilation and alienated from the powerful
unfoldment of our natural potential, we may find ourselves struggling with
any number of psychological disturbances: painful patterns of thought and
action, addiction to drugs and alcohol, obsessions with work or play, compul-
sivity in sex or relationships, the torment of anxiety and depression, a lack of
meaning and purpose in life, or perhaps a numbing immersion in daily rou-
tines. This painful inner turmoil may cause major disruptions in our lives
such that we seek professional help, or it may exist quietly and insidiously as
a hidden substrate of our seemingly normal lives, causing us in Thoreau’s
words to “lead lives of quiet desperation.”
Those who become aware of this painful and tragic state of affairs—per-
haps shaken by a life crisis or transformative experience—at some point may
begin to seek a way to face the inner emptiness and bring to life the lost
aspects of themselves. They may begin to seek a way to face the threat of non-
being and regain their footing on their deeper journey of unfoldment, a jour-
ney that has been hidden, misguided, or distorted.
Clearly, a powerful support for such an undertaking would be a psychol-
ogy rooted in the knowledge that the presence of this empathic love nurtures
the human journey and its absence derails it. Such a psychology might offer
a coherent understanding of this love as well as effective, practical ways of
allowing this love to heal and nurture human unfoldment. This book
attempts to present just such a psychology.1
Given this description of empathic love, it is clear that this love is a crucial
provision for the growth and development of human being. The powerful
thrust of human unfoldment, of “nature,” demands the “nurture” of love, as
an acorn demands sunlight, soil, and water to become a seedling and eventu-
ally an oak.
Remember again, however, that this love is of a very particular kind. This
is not a love that sees the other as fulfilling one’s desires and dreams, not a love
that views the other as something to be changed or managed, not a love
blinded by ideas and images of the other (whether positive or negative). So this
life-giving love must issue from beyond—and at times in spite of—the hopes,
fears, and designs of the personality or personal ego. Although it is somewhat
elusive and difficult to recognize, some psychologists have described it well.
Introduction 5
Here there is a union of love beyond any sense of separate isolated selfhood,
a union that can be experienced as including all living things and even the
entire cosmos. In such love, the statement “I love you” becomes “We are all
held in love,” or even “We are love.”
It is our contention that the kind of love that nurtures personhood, the
natural unfoldment of human being, is precisely this “disinterested,” “uncon-
ditional,” or “altruistic” love. A psychology that includes a working under-
standing of this altruistic, empathic love—and its absence—would thus be
well suited to address many issues in the field, from psychopathology to pos-
itive human potential, from personal growth to larger social and environ-
mental problems.
The clear message of five decades of outcome research is that it is the rela-
tionship of the client and therapist in combination with the resources of the
client (extratherapeutic variables) that, respectively, account for 30% and
40% of the variance in successful psychotherapy. Techniques account for
15% of the success variance, comparable to 15% success rate related to
placebo effect. (Bozarth 2002, 174)
From a spiritual perspective, I believe this is another way of saying that the
therapist nurtures the client’s soul, and through this nurturing the client is
healed. Love is the most powerful healer of the suffering soul, and in thera-
peutic relationship love takes the form of empathy, respect, honesty, caring,
and acceptance. (Sperry and Shafranske 2005, 140)
confused with other types of love such as romantic love (eros), friendship
(philia), or parental love (storge).3 That is, therapists unaware they are expe-
riencing altruistic love may be led into romance, friendship, or parenting
with their clients—all violations of the therapeutic relationship. It is telling
that just such “countertransferences of love” fill the disciplinary lists of
licensing boards.
So therapists seeking to express altruistic love will need a psychology of
love that supports them in doing this. They need a coherent theory and effec-
tive praxis affirming that the love they have is what is most needed in ther-
apeutic work; they need to know why and how loving their clients beyond
clinical diagnosis, powerful technique, or therapeutic agenda is crucial to the
health and well-being of those in their care.
We believe that Assagioli’s psychosynthesis can contribute to such a psy-
chology of love. The elaboration and extension of his work in our prior books,
The Primal Wound (1997) and Psychosynthesis (2002), reveal psychosynthesis
as an approach deeply founded in “the ways and power of love,” to use the
phrase of renowned Harvard sociologist Pitirim Sorokin (1954). In this cur-
rent book we bring an even stronger focus to this empathic love, outlining a
personality theory, a developmental theory, and then an approach to psy-
chotherapeutic practice that all revolve around the central pivot of this love.
Maintaining this focus, we will draw upon aspects of other approaches
that look in the direction of this love as well. These include infant research,
object relations theory, self psychology, depth psychology, intersubjective psy-
chology, attachment theory, neuroscience, positive psychology, and humanis-
tic and transpersonal psychology. While there is no attempt to synthesize
these disparate approaches or present them in their entirety, we will at times
illuminate the salient connections between them and psychosynthesis.
We have written this book for counselors, social workers, spiritual guides,
and psychotherapists; for those training in these callings; for parents, educa-
tors, and religious leaders; for those seeking to understand the nature of love
either personally or professionally; and for anyone seeking a psychotherapy of
love to assist them on their path of healing and growth.
Herein the reader will find experientially based models and theory, prac-
tical examples and applications, techniques and methods, as well as an invi-
tation to the self-reflection, inner work, and commitment necessary to love
and work at this depth. A description of the chapters follows.
Chapter 1 outlines the earliest and most widely known psychosynthesis
personality theory: Assagioli’s oval-shaped or “egg” diagram including the
nature and formation of the middle, higher, and lower unconscious; the rela-
tionship of “I” and the source of altruistic love, Self; and the processes of per-
sonal psychosynthesis, transpersonal psychosynthesis, and Self-realization. In
discussing “I,” “Self,” and “will” we have followed our usual convention of not
using definite articles or possessive pronouns with these terms. We believe
8 A Psychotherapy of Love
that the use of such articles and pronouns in phrases such as “my ‘I,’” “the
Self,” or “the will” tends to suggest an object of awareness rather than the pure
subjectivity these terms were meant to convey.
Chapter 2 presents a psychosynthesis developmental theory that is
founded in the thought of Assagioli, but is supported by research and insights
from many other approaches. The natural life-span development of personal-
ity is seen as a function of empathic altruistic love, while the absence of this
love—primal wounding—leads to the formation of the adaptive, defensive,
survival personality.
Chapter 3 and the remaining chapters are devoted to a psychosynthesis
clinical theory. This chapter begins by describing the empathic altruistic love
that nurtures human being as spiritual empathy, and outlines how this empathy
impacts the actual therapeutic situation. Here begins too an exploration of
what is involved for the therapist in providing this empathic love for another.
Chapter 4 delves more deeply into the inner world of the therapist who
chooses to express spiritual empathy with clients. It will be seen that thera-
pists need to enter into a process of death and rebirth as they leave their own
experiential worlds in order to join clients within their worlds. Special atten-
tion will be given to the nature and function of empathic curiosity and what
Assagioli referenced as the “mystical unity” between therapist and client
(Kretschmer 2000, 276).
Chapter 5 further develops the theme of spiritual empathy as it explores
the deep mutual rapport or attunement that develops between people within
an empathic field. This empathic resonance is shown to be a powerful dynamic
in therapy that works to expand clients’ experience of themselves and allows
early wounding to emerge and be healed. Also discussed is traumatic reso-
nance, the emergence of the therapist’s wounds within the empathic field.
Chapter 6 addresses power and ethics in therapy beginning with the cru-
cial recognition of the power imbalance in the therapeutic relationship and
the need for altruistic power in a therapy grounded in spiritual empathy. Dis-
cussed are the four uses of therapeutic power that are important to spiritual
empathy. Also addressed here is the relationship of therapy to the oppression
from larger sociopolitical systems that surround the therapeutic endeavor.
Chapter 7 begins the presentation of the stages of psychosynthesis that
can occur within a field of altruistic, empathic love. These stages are based
on those outlined by Assagioli but are extended to the clinical situation,
drawing on case vignettes. This chapter describes stage zero or the Survival
Stage. Here the person’s authentic identity has been replaced by automatic
patterns of thought and action designed to survive early unloving, nonem-
pathic environments. The therapist’s role in facilitating the transition out of
this stage is discussed.
Chapter 8 presents the next stage of psychosynthesis, stage one or the
Exploration Stage. Awakening from the thrall of the survival stage by the
Introduction 9
power of empathic love, the person is free to explore the heights and depths
of their arising experience and spheres of their personalities. Here there is a
quest for the authenticity lost in developing the survival mode. The nature of
this exploration, an extended case example, and the therapist’s task are
described.
Chapter 9 moves to stage two of psychosynthesis, or the Emergence of
“I.” This emergence is understood as the natural blossoming of the person’s
authentic selfhood within the loving, empathic field of the therapeutic situ-
ation. Here is discovered a new sense of self-awareness and freedom that
allows the expression of one’s unique gifts and skills in the world. Again, the
therapist’s role in this emergence is discussed.
Chapter 10 describes the stage of Contact with Self in which one held in
empathic love can move beyond self-actualization toward broader questions
of life meaning and direction in Self-realization. Here, through a variety of
different forms and supported by the spiritual empathy of the therapist, the
person is seen contacting a deeper sense of wisdom—Self—by which to guide
life decisions.
Chapter 11 details the final stage of psychosynthesis that may emerge
within altruistic love, that of Response to Self. Continuing the process of Self-
realization begun in the prior stage, here one responds to the contacted wis-
dom and guidance, and encounters new sets of challenges in living a life in
relationship to deeper Self. Several illustrative cases are presented and the
therapist’s role is described.
Chapter 12 defines psychosynthesis therapy as
quintessentially a psychotherapy of love, in which To love well calls for all
that is demanded by the
there is a deep recognition of our shared union in
practice of any art, indeed
Spirit. We end with a discussion of the “Way of the of any human activity,
Therapist,” the calling to be a psychotherapist of namely, an adequate mea-
love. sure of discipline, patience,
In closing, let us say again that we have and persistence.
attempted here to provide a practical, applied theo- —ROBERTO ASSAGIOLI
retical orientation—drawing upon current thinking
about psychotherapy—that moves toward an
understanding of psychotherapy as an act of love. It is our heartfelt hope that,
in reading and using this book, therapists and prospective therapists will be
supported in uncovering, remembering, and expressing their love for their
clients—the probable reason they have felt called to the field of psychother-
apy in the first place.
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Chapter One
11
12 A Psychotherapy of Love
The earliest and most widely known psychosynthesis model of the human per-
sonality is Assagioli’s oval-shaped or “egg” diagram illustrating what he called
“a pluridimensional conception of the human personality” (Assagioli 2000,
14). This model was first published in the 1930s (Assagioli 1931; 1934), later
becoming the lead chapter in his book Psychosynthesis (2000), and it remains
an integral and vital part of psychosynthesis theory to this day.1
Mindful of Assagioli’s statement that this model was “far from perfect or
final” (Assagioli 2000, 14), we here present his model with one change: we
do not represent Self (or Transpersonal Self) on the diagram. While Assagi-
oli’s original diagram depicted Self at the apex of the higher unconscious, half
inside and half outside the oval, the diagram that follows does not do so; in
this rendering, Self is not assigned to any one particular sphere at all, and
instead should be imagined as pervading all the areas of the diagram and
beyond. The need for this change will be discussed later. Figure 1.1 is then a
rendering of Assagioli’s diagram with this one modification.
One general comment about this diagram is that Assagioli understood
the oval to be surrounded by what C. G. Jung termed the collective unconscious
(unlabeled) or “a common psychic substrate of a suprapersonal nature which
is present in every one of us” (Jung 1969, 4). This realm surrounds and under-
pins the personal levels of the unconscious and represents innate propensities
or capacities for particular forms of experience and action shared by the
species and developed over the course of evolution. Let us now describe each
element in the diagram in turn.
FIGURE 1.1
region our various experiences are assimilated, our ordinary mental and
imaginative activities are elaborated and developed in a sort of psycho-
logical gestation before their birth into the light of consciousness. (Assa-
gioli 2000, 15)
Subpersonalities
tionship to our world, unconsciously learning ways of being and acting from
interaction with different environments. This adaptive structuralization of
the middle unconscious can be seen in the concept of the “adaptive uncon-
scious” (Wilson 2002).
Unconscious structuralization is not then experienced as consciously
recalling something that has happened in the past. Instead, it is experienced
simply as “the way things are,” as “reality.” We have, through our connections
with the environment, built up an inner map of the world and of ourselves by
which we live our lives for better or worse (see the discussion of internal uni-
fying centers in chapter 2). So our experience of self and world is profoundly
conditioned by the structuralization of the middle unconscious. Siegel writes
of implicit memory, “We act, feel, and imagine without recognition of the
influence of past experience on our present reality” (Siegel 1999, 29).
This understanding of the middle unconscious becomes crucial for psy-
chosynthesis therapy because it is into this world of the client that empathic
love takes the therapist. Therapists seeking to attune to their client’s world
need to be prepared to enter an idiosyncratic, unpredictable world perhaps
starkly different from their own.
Furthermore, the therapist must realize that since this inner landscape was
gradually built up via early relationships with others, it is only the therapist’s
presence and resonance in the relationship that can allow transformation of
that landscape. For example, a therapist cannot simply talk the client out of a
negative self-image, but must be prepared to be with the client in an explo-
ration of a world experienced from this negative self-image. In the parlance of
neuroscience, “When a limbic connection has established a neural pattern, it
takes a limbic connection to revise it” (Lewis, Amini, and Lannon 2001, 177).
Conscious technique, assigned exercises, interpretations, insight, or the
surfacing of memories does not, then, facilitate healing and growth at this
level; rather, healing and growth can only come by empathically joining
clients in the unique world of their middle unconscious. This will be dis-
cussed more fully in the presentation of clinical theory next.
Primal Wounding
The middle unconscious allows learned patterns of perception and action
(consciously learned or not) to remain unconscious so that we may cre-
atively draw upon these patterns in the living of our lives. By remaining
unconscious yet available, the middle unconscious supports our ongoing
functioning.
However there are other layers of the unconscious that are not simply
and naturally unconscious, but are actively repressed. That is, these are sec-
tors of the unconscious that support ongoing functioning by remaining
unconscious and not accessible. But why should one find it necessary to cut
off and disown areas of natural human experience? This is done in response
to what can be called primal wounding (Firman and Gila 1997; 2002):
Primal wounding results from violations of the person’s sense of self, as seen
most vividly in physical mistreatment, sexual molestation, and emotional
battering. Wounding may also occur from intentional or unintentional
neglect by those in the environment, as in physical or emotional aban-
donment; or from an inability of significant others to respond empathically
to the person (or to aspects of the person); or from a general unrespon-
P s y c h o s y n t h e s i s P e r s o n a l i t y Th e o r y 19
The first thing that must be disowned in order to survive within a nonem-
pathic environment is the fact that we are being wounded at all. Our wound-
ing will not receive an empathic ear in such an environment because for the
environment to accept our wounding it would need to acknowledge its role
in this wounding and begin its own process of self-examination, healing, and
growth. (Good-enough parenting, like good-enough friendship and good-
enough psychotherapy, seeks to acknowledge empathic failures past and pre-
sent so the wounding can be held.)
In order to survive in a nonempathic environment, we develop a per-
sonality that eliminates primal wounding from our awareness (what is
called survival personality in the next chapter). We enter a trance that in
effect breaks off our awareness of wounding and any experiences associated
with annihilation and nonbeing, forming what is called the lower uncon-
scious (see Figure 1.1).
The lower unconscious is then the disowned range of our experience that
would normally attune us to experiences most directly related to the pain of
primal wounding—experiences such as anxiety and disintegration; lack of
meaning in self or world; feeling lost, trapped, or buried; isolation, abandon-
ment, banishment; feeling overwhelmed, helpless, or hopeless; emptiness or
hollowness; despair, shame, and guilt (see chapter 2). Under the threat of per-
sonal annihilation, significant sectors of our ability to experience pain and
suffering are here split off from ongoing awareness.
20 A Psychotherapy of Love
experience would remain available to the child and could be easily nurtured
by relationships with others. Rather, splitting and repression occur only when
a particular range of experience represents an emotional or mental threat to
the caregivers—a result of their own wounding. In this case, the child engag-
ing these levels of experience faces not mere puzzlement and curiosity from
caregivers, but active rage, shame, and emotional abandonment.
In the following chapter we shall further explore the nature of primal
wounding, but let us now return to Assagioli’s model of the person and
examine “I,” the mysterious “who” to whom all of these levels of the uncon-
scious belong.
“I” or personal self (with a lowercase “s”), with the attendant field of con-
sciousness and will, is pictured at the very center of the oval-shaped diagram
(Figure 1.1). “I” could also be called “you.” When you are loved beyond the
content and process of your personality, you emerge; you are the one who
can experience all these different inner and outer realms, can make choices
about these experiences, and can blend them into meaningful expressions in
the world.6
But the nature of “I” is profoundly mysterious and by no means self-evi-
dent. As Assagioli points out, “the self, the I-consciousness, devoid of any
content . . . does not arise spontaneously but is the result of a definite inner
experimentation” (Assagioli 2000, 99). “I” needs to be pointed to, under-
stood, and loved; you need to be invited out from among the content and
process of your personality. And a psychology of love would have an under-
standing and a method for seeking, knowing, and loving you in this way. Here
is Assagioli offering one way:
The procedure for achieving self-identity, in the sense of the pure self-con-
sciousness at the personal level, is an indirect one. The self is there all the
time; what is lacking is a direct awareness of its presence. Therefore, the
technique consists in eliminating all the partial self-identifications. The
procedure can be summarized in one word which was much used formerly in
psychology but which recently has been more or less neglected, i.e., intro-
spection. It means, as its terminology clearly indicates, directing the mind’s
eye, or the observing function, upon the world of psychological facts, of psy-
chological events, of which we can be aware. (Assagioli 2000, 101)
A Disidentification Exercise
Assagioli first invites you to observe the ever-changing flow of your physical
sensations: the fluctuations of temperature within your body, the passing
experiences of constriction or relaxation, changes in breathing, the parade of
tastes and smells. To each and all of these changing sensations you can be pre-
sent, ergo, you are distinct but not separate from your sensations. Otherwise
you would be unable to be fully present to each new sensation as it arises.
This phenomenon can be called transcendence-immanence (Firman 1991; Fir-
man and Gila 1997; 2002). Something about who you are is distinct from—
transcendent of—sensations, yet you are engaged with—immanent within—
sensations. You are transcendent-immanent with respect to sensations.
Assagioli next suggests becoming aware of “the kaleidoscopic realm of
emotions and feelings” (102). Here you will notice the constant flow of differ-
ent emotions: sadness, joy, grief, calm, arousal, happiness, despair, hope. But
here again, since you can engage each and every one of these, remaining pre-
sent to each successive feeling, you must be somehow transcendent-imma-
nent with respect to feelings too. Or in Assagioli’s words, “After a certain
period of practice we come to the realization that the emotions and feelings
also are not a necessary part of the self, of our self, because they too are
changeable, mutable, fleeting and sometimes show ambivalence” (102).
Lastly, Assagioli invites you to become conscious of your thoughts in the
same way: “mental activity is too varied, fleeting, changeable; sometimes it
shows no continuity and can be compared with a restless ape, jumping from
branch to branch. But the very fact that the self can observe, take notice and
exercise its powers of observation on the mental activity proves the difference
between the self and the mind” (102). In our terms, “I” is distinct-but-not-
separate from, transcendent-immanent with respect to, the thinking process
as well.
In this type of inner exploration, you can begin to plumb the mysterious
nature of “I,” of you. Again, this nature is not self-evident and is realized only
as you are held in empathic love. You must be seen, known, and loved as dis-
tinct-but-not-separate from your experience, and so free to be open to what-
ever arises in you—an invitation to authenticity directly opposed to the trun-
cated experiential range conditioned by the need to survive in a
nonempathic environment.
In other words, you can discover you are “in but not of the world” of
soma and psyche, of body and mind, distinct from both yet engaged in both.
You can begin to realize that you are transcendent-immanent of any and all
P s y c h o s y n t h e s i s P e r s o n a l i t y Th e o r y 23
experiences you may encounter, that you can remain present and volitional
within all experiences that life can bring you.
So it seems accurate to refer to human being as transcendent-immanent
spirit. This use of the word “spirit” is helpful if it is understood that this does
not refer to another “thing” among “things,” nor a substance or object within
us, nor a tiny homunculus living within the psyche-soma, but rather refers to
our ability to remain distinct-but-not-separate or transcendent-immanent of
any and all experiences of psyche and soma.
But be careful here too not to equate the functions of consciousness and
will with the experiences of being conscious and willing. These functions of “I”
may be completely obscured if you are identified with, for example, a strong
part of you that fills your consciousness and dominates your will. Again, you
are still “you” in this state of identification; you still have the functions of
consciousness and will, even though your consciousness and will are presently
submerged within, in a sense possessed by, the identification.
Empathic Love
As you proceed over time with this type of inner observation, you can find
that since you are not any particular experience, you can embrace any and
all experiences as they arise. These experiences can include moments of
ecstasy, creative inspiration, and spiritual insight (higher unconscious); feel-
ings of anxiety, despair, and rage (lower unconscious); as well as ongoing
engagement with various patterns of thought, feeling, and behavior that you
have formed over the course of living (middle unconscious). By virtue of your
transcendence-immanence, it would seem there is no experience you cannot
embrace. In the words of one early psychosynthesis writer: “There are no ele-
ments of the personality which are of a quality incompatible with the ‘I.’ For
the ‘I’ is not of the personality, rather it transcends the personality” (Carter-
Haar 1975, 81).
You discover, in other words, that you are fundamentally empathic
and loving toward all aspects of your personality. You can love, accept, and
include a vast range of experience, take responsibility for the healing and
growth of this range, and even over time form these experiences into a
rich, cohesive expression in the world. You have the ability to have “self-
less love” or “agape” toward all of your personality aspects—not taking
sides with any, understanding and respecting all, embracing all. The
tremendous healing and growth of one’s personality from this emergence
of empathic love—from the emergence of “I”—are common occurrences
in psychosynthesis practice; indeed, this is at the heart of psychosynthesis
therapy in general. As Assagioli affirms, “I am a living, loving, willing self”
(Assagioli 1973b, 176).
Note that “I” does not imply the experience of oneself as some sort of
rugged, separate individual as is often the ideal implicit in much of Western
culture. The emergence of “I” (see chapter 9) can manifest in as many differ-
ent ways as there are cultures. You may experience yourself as a free and inde-
pendent agent in relationship to the wider society or, quite the contrary, as
not an “individual” at all but rather an expression of your ancestry, family,
and community. However it is that you do experience yourself, you have the
ability to understand and act from within the subjectivity of your own body,
feelings, and mind.
26 A Psychotherapy of Love
SELF
For Assagioli’s contemporaries Freud and Jung the ego was a composite or
complex of various psychological elements that formed over the course of
development. Whereas a Freudian or Jungian might, for example, consider
ego arising from a gradual differentiation of the “id” or a de-integrate of the
“self,” respectively, Assagioli held that “I” was a direct “reflection” or “pro-
jection” of deeper, transpersonal, or higher Self.9
Thus, in pondering the nature of Self, we can begin with an examina-
tion of Self’s reflection or image: we can return to our insight into the
nature of human spirit, of “I.” Since “I” is not “ego,” not an organization of
content within the personality, we cannot logically posit a source that is
composed of content, even a totality of all content. If “I” is loving,
empathic, transcendent-immanent spirit, it would rather seem that the
source of “I” must be a greater or deeper loving, empathic, transcendent-
immanent Spirit (capital “S”).
Thus we may assume logically that Self is simply a more profound
empathic transcendence-immanence than “I.” Just as “I” is distinct-but-not-
separate from the flow of immediate experience, so Self can be thought of as
distinct-but-not-separate from any and all content and layers of the person-
ality, both conscious and unconscious. Self is transcendent and so may be
immanent anywhere, any time, within the entire personality and beyond.
Practically what this means is that we are held in being no matter what
type of experiences we might have. Our life-giving connection with Self is
not intrinsically about any particular experience or state of consciousness but
holds us in being so that we may engage experiences throughout our entire
experiential range.
A loving empathic transcendent-immanent Self can therefore be
thought of as present and potentially active whether one is experiencing a
traumatic memory from the lower unconscious, a peak experience in the
higher unconscious, working with middle unconscious patterns, engaging
existential issues of mortality and meaning, or expressing oneself in the
world. As the direct and immediate source of “I,” Self is always potentially
available to us for dialogue, support, and guidance no matter what our
experience, no matter what our stage of development, no matter what our
life situation.
This profound transcendence-immanence of Self is a reason we have not
followed Assagioli in representing Self at the apex of the higher unconscious.
P s y c h o s y n t h e s i s P e r s o n a l i t y Th e o r y 27
We believe that his earlier rendering of Self on the oval diagram can lead to
the mistaken assumption that Self somehow belongs to “higher realms” and
is not as directly present to the “lower realms.”10
The notion of Self as more deeply or more broadly transcendent-imma-
nent also allows us to recognize the vast array of forms through which Self
can express—from individuals and groups, to spiritual practices and religious
forms, to the natural world, to inner psychological structures. How might one
describe the empathic, loving, holding power that is manifest through all
such contexts, both inner and outer, animate and inanimate, to empower
empathic, loving, transcendent-immanent “I”? It would have to be some
empathic presence that can express in all of these contexts yet be identified
with none, a transcendent-immanent Source operating through different
forms both inner and outer. The notion of loving, empathic, spiritual, tran-
scendent-immanent Self seems quite useful in this regard.
Just as in the discussion of human spirit or “I,” however, we should be
clear that by “Self” or “Spirit” we are not positing a particular “thing” among
“things.” Self is not an object of consciousness, but the source of conscious-
ness. Self is not “a being,” but the Ground of Being. Thus we shall never dis-
cover an objective Self within different forms any more than we shall find an
objective “I” among contents of the personality. Inasmuch as “I” can be
termed “noself,” so Self can be termed “NoSelf.” Each are no-thing.11
Finally, note that “I” and Self are from a certain point of view one:
“There are not really two selves, two independent and separate entities. The
Self is one” (Assagioli 2000, 17). Assagioli considered this nondual unity a
fundamental aspect of this level of human being, although he also understood
that there could and should be a meaningful relationship between the person
and Self as well. Here is Albert Einstein in a similar vein:
A human being is a part of a whole, called by us “universe,” a part limited
in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as
something separate from the rest—a kind of optical delusion of conscious-
ness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal
desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to
free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to
embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty. (quoted
in Levine 1982, 183)
Self-Realization
Many psychological thinkers besides Assagioli have recognized within the
human being a sense of wisdom and direction that operates beyond, and often
in spite of, the conscious personality. This has been called “the inner voice”
and “Self” (Jung 1954), the “will to meaning” (Frankl 1962; 1967), the “des-
tiny drive” (Bollas 1989), the “soul’s code” (Hillman 1996), “the actualizing
28 A Psychotherapy of Love
tendency” (Rogers 1980), and the “nuclear program” (Kohut 1984). In psy-
chosynthesis, the source of this transpersonal impetus is considered to be Self.
Self-realization then has to do with our relationship to this deeper,
transpersonal wisdom and direction within us, a relationship that can be
characterized as that between the personal will of “I” and the transpersonal will
of Self. Self-realization is the story of our contact and response to Self, our
forgetting and remembering Self, our union and relatedness to Self, our
movement in and out of alignment with the deep-
est currents of our being. Self-realization is the
Sometimes a veritable dia- ongoing, lived, loving relationship between our-
logue occurs between the selves and our most cherished values, meanings,
personal “I” and the Self. and purposes in life.
And if Self is transcendent-immanent through-
—ROBERTO ASSAGIOLI
out all levels of the personality and beyond, then
such an ongoing love relationship may well take us
into any and all levels of human experience. Relat-
ing to deeper Self may, for example, lead us to an engagement with our addic-
tions and compulsions; or to the heights of creative and religious experience;
or to the mysteries of noself and unitive experience; or to issues of meaning
and mortality; or to a grappling with early childhood wounding. But through-
out, whether in union or dialogue, the relationship is the thing. Self-realiza-
tion is not here an arrival point, a particular state of consciousness, not some-
thing we must search far to attain. It is right here. Now.
So the dynamics of Self-realization have to do with how we perceive—
or ignore—the deeper truth of our lives, and how we respond—or not—to
this in the practical decisions of everyday life. It is fair to say that all theory
and practice in psychosynthesis ultimately has to do with uncovering, clari-
fying, and responding to our own deeper sense of who we are and what our
lives are about.
our personal freedom; and perhaps entering therapy to uncover and heal
aspects of experience related to childhood wounding.
All such exploration opens to, and integrates, the higher and lower uncon-
scious into the middle unconscious. These heights and depths of ourselves are
no longer sealed off from us, but begin to find their rightful place as structures
supportive of our ongoing functioning, i.e., in the middle unconscious.
An expansion of the middle unconscious is also then an expansion of our
experiential range. We hereby become more open to being touched by the
beauty and joys of life, more open to the pain and
suffering of ourselves and others, more able to live a
Man’s spiritual development life that embraces the heights and depths of human
is a long and arduous jour- existence. In other words, our window of tolerance
ney, an adventure through is widening.
strange lands full of sur- But even then, while this expansion of the
prises, difficulties and even middle unconscious is often a product of following
dangers. our path of Self-realization, the two processes yet
—ROBERTO ASSAGIOLI remain distinct. Again, Self-realization is about our
relationship with Self, a transcendent-immanent
relationship that abides whether we are identified
or disidentified, entranced or disentranced, on the heights or in the depths,
functioning from an expanded middle unconscious or not. Self-realization
refers to our loving journey with Self, not to any particular terrain the jour-
ney may take us through.
Chapter Two
31
32 A Psychotherapy of Love
FIGURE 2.1
Authentic Personality
Authentic personality is an expression of authentic, essential identity via the
inherited gifts and accumulated skills gathered over the course of life. Further-
more, authentic personality implies contact with, and a following of, one’s own
sense of meaning or direction in life—Self-realiza-
tion. So here there is not only possession of one’s rich
An older person can con- human potential, but also a motivation to express
sciously re-evoke, resusci- this meaningfully in the world. In attachment theory
tate and cultivate in himself terms, a “securely attached” individual “feels bold in
the positive characteristics of his explorations of the world” (Bowlby 1988, 124).
all his preceding ages. The unfolding of the successive layers of person-
—ROBERTO ASSAGIOLI ality will of course have their own inherent content
and timing. For example, abilities to perform physi-
cally, or to learn language, or to think and perceive
in certain ways will be conditioned by innate genetic timetables. This is part of
the person’s endowment, the “nature” side of the developmental process. Here
is the unfolding journey of synthesis, wholeness, and actualization mentioned
in the introduction.
A P s y c h o s y n t h e s i s D e v e l o p m e n t a l Th e o r y 33
This being seen for who you are, this empathic love, is the needed environ-
mental nurture that allows the blossoming of authentic personality. Whereas
the providers of this empathy (or their function within the person) were
called “selfobjects” by Kohut (1971) and “holding environments” by Winni-
cott (1987), in psychosynthesis they can be called authentic unifying centers
(Firman and Gila 1997; 2002).
An authentic unifying center sees and loves you for who you are and
thereby can become a focus, a center that allows you to bring diverse inher-
ited abilities and acquired learnings into a unified sense of identity and self-
expression. This empathic love, this mirroring, might be added to the devel-
opmental-ring model as in Figure 2.2.
This diagram illustrates the person being empathically loved by an
authentic unifying center(s) at each stage of unfoldment, and so having the
ability to include each successive stage. By seeing and loving the person
through these unfolding experiences, the empathic unifying center facilitates
an inclusion of each and all unfolding layers of personality and thereby allows
the experience of being whole, volitional, and continuous through time.
This experience describes what Winnicott (1987) termed a “continuity of
being,” what Kohut (1971) called an experience of “cohesiveness in space and
continuity in time,” and what Rogers (1980) called “personhood” or “iden-
tity.”2 Psychosynthesis would put it this way: within a stable, loving, empathic
field, “I” can embrace all the various aspects of the unfolding personality and
express these in line with deeper values—in other words, authentic personal-
ity is expressed.
34 A Psychotherapy of Love
FIGURE 2.2
but also to life’s challenges and suffering. We can, for example, be open to the
love felt for others, but also to the agonizing grief at their loss; or experience
the excitement and competence at mastering a developmental skill, but also
engage the many painful failures this may entail; or be intoxicated by the
wondrous flow of creative expression, but also experience the inevitable arid-
ity and tumult of the creative process; or explore
the heights of spiritual insight and also endure dark
nights of the soul. Through all these heights and The possibilities and char-
depths you can be present and responsive—if you acteristics of the preceding
are loved empathically and so held in being. ages are latent in everyone;
So again, this loving empathic connection they can be evoked, and
with another is not in essence blissful or joyful, but made actual and functional.
provides something else: a place to stand in order to —ROBERTO ASSAGIOLI
fully engage all that life brings. One is here seen as
human spirit, as “I” distinct from any particular
experience, not identified with any particular mode of being, and therefore as
one who can fully engage all experiences, who is present in all modes of
being. As Rogers put it, “When persons are perceptively understood, they
find themselves coming in closer touch with a wider range of their experi-
encing” (Rogers 1980, 156).4
This paradoxical “distinct-but-not-separate” characteristic of “I” is what
was called transcendence-immanence in chapter 1, a term that links two tradi-
tional terms referring to spirit. That is, “I” is transcendent in that “I” is not
to be identified with any particular experience or stage of development, while
at the same time “I” is ever engaged or immanent within a particular experi-
ence and stage of development.
Note that if “I” were not transcendent-immanent, then the following expe-
riences would be impossible: reflective introspection, mindfulness meditation
practices, psychoanalytic free association, and cognitive-behavioral monitoring
of thought processes. All of these well-recognized human experiences are
founded in the fact that there is some sense of personal identity that is distinct
from the contents of ongoing experience and so can observe and affect these.
Thus this transcendence-immanence of “I,” this spiritual nature, allows
a profound loving self-empathy, a “loving of oneself.” Transcendent-imma-
nent “I” has the ability to be present to, and be engaged with, any and all
experience that may arise in life. Over the lifespan this transcendence-imma-
nence allows one to include each developmental layer as it unfolds, while
moment-to-moment it allows an openness to whatever may arise in one’s
experience—all without the threat of the dissolution or annihilation of who
one is essentially. There is no threat to personal existence inherent in any
type of experience, from the amazing heights of spiritual, creative, or sexual
ecstasies to the overwhelming depths of shame, rage, and grief. Some hold
that even physical death does not pose such a threat.5
36 A Psychotherapy of Love
And the authentic unifying center operates with this same transcen-
dence-immanence: such a unifying center functions as distinct from any
agenda, identification, or role—that is, it is transcendent—and at the same
time it is fully present to any and all experience—that is, it is immanent. It
is this transcendent-immanent spirit of the authentic unifying center that
empowers the transcendence-immanence of “I.” This empathic connection
with an authentic unifying center is a transcendent-immanent, spiritual com-
munion; in other words, it is the expression of altruistic love or agape we are
calling spiritual empathy.
FIGURE 2.3
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their Russian officers, on condition that the latter are
completely under the orders of the Minister of War. This
arrangement was ratified at a meeting between the commanders
and Colonel Liakhoff. Teheran is quiet, and the Persian
Cossacks are already fraternizing with the Fedai. The Sipahdar
has been appointed Minister of War, and the Sirdar Assad
Minister of the Interior." Being asked if he would represent
to the Russian Government the undesirability of advancing
Russian troops to Teheran, Sir Edward added: "In view of the
declarations already made by the Russian Government as to the
circumstances under which alone Russian troops would be sent
to Teheran and in view of the fact that no troops have been
sent to Teheran during the recent troubles, in spite of the
fact that at one time some apprehension, which happily proved
to be unfounded, was expressed for the safety of Russian
subjects, such representations would be most uncalled for."
----------PERSIA: End--------
----------PERU: Start--------
PERU: A. D. 1899-1908.
Outline of History.
Dr. Pardo’s Cabinet was formed of some of the most capable men
in the country, prominent among whom was the minister of
Finance, Señor Leguia, to whose work is largely due the
improved financial situation. At the present time—1908—the
best elements of Peru are in the ascendant."
G. Reginald Enock,
Peru: Its Former, and Present Civilization,
History and Existing Conditions,
chapter 9 (Scribner’s Sons, New York).
PERU: A. D. 1901.
Broad Treaty of Arbitration with Bolivia.
PERU: A. D. 1901-1906.
Participation in Second and Third International Conferences
of American Republics.
PERU: A. D. 1903-1909.
Boundary disputes in the Acre region with Bolivia and Brazil.
PERU: A. D. 1905.
Arbitration Treaties with Colombia and Ecuador.
PERU: A. D. 1906.
Decree for the Encouragement of Immigration.
PERU: A. D. 1907.
Diplomatic Relations with Chile reëstablished.
The Tacna and Arica questions remaining open.
----------PERU: End--------
{492}
PETROLEUM:
The Supply and the Waste in the United States.
PHILADELPHIA: A. D. 1905.
A Spasm of Municipal Reform.
PHILADELPHIA: A. D. 1909.
Defeat of Reform.
See (in this Volume)
MUNICIPAL GOVERNMENT.
PHILIPPINE ISLANDS:
Gains to Spain from their Loss.
{493}
"The policy of the commission in its provincial appointments
has been, where possible, to appoint Filipinos as governors
and Americans as treasurers and supervisors. The provincial
secretary and the provincial fiscal appointed have uniformly
been Filipinos. It will be observed that this makes a majority
of the provincial board American. The commission has, in
several instances, appointed to provincial offices former
insurgent generals who have been of especial aid in bringing
about peace, and in so doing it has generally acted on the
earnest recommendation of the commanding officer of the
district or province. We believe the appointments made have
had a good effect and the appointees have been anxious to do
their duty. …
{494}
"By an act passed June 17, 1902, Number 419, the Commission
organized the province of Samar, and established civil
government there. In April of 1902, General Malvar surrendered
with all his forces in Batangas, and by act passed June 23,
1902, the Commission restored civil government to that
province to take effect July 4, 1902. By act Number 424,
enacted July 1, 1902, the province of Laguna was organized
into a civil government. This completed the organization of
all the provinces in which insurrection had been rife during
the latter part of 1901, except Mindoro. There were, in
addition, certain tracts of territory occupied by Christian
Filipinos that had not received civil government, either
because of the remoteness of the territory or the scarcity of
population." The report then details the measures by which
civil government was given to these tracts of territory, and
proceeds:
"The cholera has swept over these islands with fatal effect,
so that the total loss will probably reach 100,000 deaths.
Whole villages have been depopulated and the necessary
sanitary restrictions to avoid its spread have interfered with
agriculture, with intercommunication, and with all business.
The ravages of war have left many destitute, and a guerrilla
life has taken away from many all habits of industry. With no
means of carrying on agriculture, which is the only occupation
of these islands, the temptation to the less responsible of
the former insurgents after surrender to prey upon their
neighbors and live by robbery and rapine has been very great.
The bane of Philippine civilization in the past was ladronism,
and the present conditions are most favorable for its growth
and maintenance. … Many who were proscribed for political
offences in the Spanish times had no refuge but the mountains,
and being in the mountains conducted a free robber life, and
about them gathered legions not unlike those of the Robin Hood
days of England, so that they attracted frequently the
sympathy of the common people. In the Spanish days it was
common for the large estate owners, including the friars, to
pay tribute to neighboring ladrones. Every Tagalog province
had its band of ladrones, and frequently each town had its
recognized ladrone whom it protected and through whom it
negotiated for immunity. …
{495}
{496}
{497}
"The act of Congress requires that delegates to the assembly
shall be qualified electors of the election district in which
they may be chosen, 25 years of age, and owing allegiance to
the United States. The act of Congress prescribes that the
qualifications of electors shall be the same as those
prescribed for electors in municipal elections under laws in
force at the time of the passage of the Congressional
enactment. As the municipal election laws in force at the time
of the passage of the act of Congress have undergone some
change in regard to the qualifications of electors, the
strange anomaly is presented of having certain
qualifications exacted from municipal and provincial officials
which are not required for delegates to the assembly. One of
the results is that felons, victims of the opium habit, and
persons convicted in the court of first instance for crimes
involving moral turpitude, but whose cases are pending on
appeal, are not eligible for election to any provincial or
municipal office, but may become delegates to the assembly.
"Some six months before the elections, there sprung from the
ashes of the Federal Party a party which, rejecting the
statehood idea, declared itself in favor of making the
Philippines an independent nation by gradual and progressive
acquisition of governmental control until the people should
become fitted by education and practice under American
sovereignty to enjoy and maintain their complete independence.
It was called the Partido Nacionalista Progresista. It is
generally known as the Progresista Party. …
{498}
"The total vote registered and cast did not exceed 104,000,
although in previous gubernatorial elections the total vote
had reached nearly 150,000. The high vote at the latter
elections may be partly explained by the fact that at the same
elections town officers were elected, and the personal
interest of many candidates drew out a larger number of
electors. But the falling off was also in part due, doubtless,
to the timidity of conservative voters, who, because of the
heat of the campaign, preferred to avoid taking sides. This is
not a permanent condition, however, and I doubt not that the
meeting of the assembly and the evident importance of its
functions when actually performed will develop a much greater
popular interest in it, and the total vote will be largely
increased at the next election.
"I opened the assembly in your name. The roll of the members
returned on the face of the record was called. An appropriate
oath was administered to all the members and the assembly
organized by selecting Señor Sergio Osmeña as its speaker or
presiding officer. Señor Osmeña has been one of the most
efficient fiscals, or prosecuting attorneys, in the Islands,
having conducted the government prosecutions in the largest
province of the Islands, the province and Island of Cebu. He
was subsequently elected governor, and by his own activity in
going into every part of the island, he succeeded in enlisting
the assistance of all the people in suppressing ladronism,
which had been rife in the mountains of Cebu for thirty or
forty years, so that to-day there is absolute peace and
tranquillity throughout the island. He is a young man, not 30,
but of great ability, shrewdness, high ideals, and yet very
practical in his methods of dealing with men and things. The
assembly could have done nothing which indicated its good
sense so strongly as the selection of Senor Osmeña as its
presiding officer. …