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    SEE WHAT SHOP TODAY EDITORS

    ARE LOVING! 23 AMAZON FINDS


    TO SHOP — FROM $6 '
    ON THE SHOW SHOP WELLNESS

    RELATIONSHIPS

    105 deep questions to ask


    friends to get to know them
    better
    Take your friendship to a whole new
    level with these conversation starters.

    I missed my friend's birthday. …

    00:37 / 06:44

    Jan. 5, 2023, 9:07 PM GMT+1 / Updated April 18, 2024, 6:17


    PM GMT+1

    By Sarah Fielding and Sophie


    Caldwell

    When you first meet someone new, you


    often ask them a multitude of questions:
    where are you from? What do you do for
    work? Do you have any pets? What do
    you do in your free time?

    These are all solid conversation starters


    to learn more about a casual
    acquaintance, but there's a limit to how
    well you can get to know someone
    through surface-level chats.

    Asking thoughtful questions is a surefire


    way to solidify and deepen your
    relationships, whether you're new pals or
    childhood besties.

    Recommended
    GIFT GUIDES

    Don't know what to gift the


    Sagittarius in your life? 22 picks
    from a pro astrologer

    In our longer friendships, we may forget


    to continue asking meaningful questions
    since we already know the other party so
    well.

    You may know your best friend’s favorite


    shows, meals, songs and movies by heart,
    but how much do you know about their
    thoughts, memories and dreams?

    “There is no such thing as knowing


    everything about a person, so ongoing
    connection building between friends
    helps to nurture and grow the
    relationship, especially through natural
    and unnatural life transitions,” Leanne
    Leonard, a licensed marriage and family
    therapist at Mindpath Health, tells
    TODAY.com.

    Ultimately, demonstrating curiosity about


    your friend's inner world shows them that
    you care about their thoughts and
    feelings. In the long run, this open
    dialogue will make it easier for them to
    turn to you during tough times.

    "Healthy communication helps create a


    foundation of safety, trust, and respect for
    each other, which in turn fosters an
    environment of openness and
    vulnerability," Jodie Milton, relationship
    and intimacy coach at Practical Intimacy,
    tells TODAY.com.

    We asked experts to weigh in on the best


    questions to get to know your friends
    better. From lighthearted to personal,
    these deep questions will help you build
    even closer bonds with your inner circle.

    Deep questions to ask


    friends

    • What’s been on your heart and mind


    recently?

    • What are your current priorities in


    this season of your life, and why?

    • How would you like people to


    experience you? What kind of
    person do want to be in the world?

    • If you had a whole day where you


    could do anything you wanted, what
    would you do?

    • What are you most proud of about


    yourself?

    • What is your greatest


    accomplishment?

    • What are you still hoping to


    accomplish?

    • What do you want people to know


    about you?

    • What do you need more of in your


    life?

    • What do you need less of in your


    life?

    • What do you feel has been your


    greatest “win” so far in life?

    • What three words describe what


    you’re most grateful for?

    • Would you rather people perceive


    you as being kind, smart or
    attractive?

    • How do you like to receive care?

    • How do you cope when things get


    hard?

    • What do you really care about?

    • What really frustrates you?

    • What keeps you up at night?

    • Who sticks out as being an early


    positive influence in your life?

    • Who is most important to you now?

    • How did you feel about where you


    grew up?

    • Did you grow up in an emotionally


    supportive environment?

    • Who are you most like in your


    family?

    • Who in your family do you struggle


    with?

    • Is there a time when you did


    something that seems so out of
    character that most people wouldn’t
    believe it?

    • What is the most trouble you’ve ever


    been in?

    • Looking back on your life, who or


    what makes you instantly light up?

    • If you could leave a “mark on the


    world” that preceded you, what
    would it be?

    • What would you like to accomplish


    in life?

    • What makes your life feel


    purposeful?

    • What values are most important to


    you?

    • If one wish of yours could come


    true, what would it be?

    • If you could travel anywhere, where


    would you go?

    • If you could meet anyone in the


    world, alive or deceased, who would
    it be?

    • What brings you joy?

    • Do you think other people see you


    the way you see yourself?

    • What is the best piece of advice


    you've ever been given?

    • Do you think you’ve met your


    soulmate?

    • What is your earliest memory?

    Fun questions to ask friends

    • Describe your perfect day.

    • What movie or show do you keep


    rewatching?

    • What makes you choose that


    movie/show over and over again?

    • What was your favorite game as a


    child?

    • Which book or movie impacted you


    most growing up?

    • What’s your favorite childhood


    memory?

    • What is your favorite memory?

    • What is on your bucket list?

    • If you could have chosen your name,


    what would you have picked?

    • What’s your favorite unusual food


    combination?

    • Do you prefer calls or texts?

    • What’s one reality show you would


    consider being a contestant on?

    • If you could keep any animal as a


    pet, which would you choose?

    • What are two places you want to go


    before you die?

    • What does your ideal friend


    weekend look like?

    • What is the most exciting adventure


    you have been on?

    • Where is the most awe-inspiring


    place you’ve ever visited?

    • If you weren’t in your current


    profession, what would you be
    doing?

    • Who would you invite to your dream


    dinner party?

    • Are you a dog person or a cat


    person?

    • Who is your celebrity crush?

    • What’s your biggest pet peeve?

    • What celebrity do you secretly think


    you’d be best friends with?

    • Who is your biggest role model?

    • If you could time travel to any era,


    which one would you choose?

    Hard questions to ask


    friends

    • What is the relationship with your


    parents like?

    • What is your worst memory?

    • What fears do you experience?

    • What do you find most challenging


    in your life right now?

    • What is something that not many


    people know about you?

    • What prevents you from sharing that


    part of yourself?

    • How do you know when you can


    trust someone?

    • What event has had a large impact


    on your life?

    • If you lost a loved one, do you think


    you would come to me for support?

    • If you lost your job, would you come


    to me for help?

    • Have you ever stopped talking to a


    friend?

    • Why did you stop talking to them?


    (See question above.)

    • Has a friend ever stopped talking to


    you?

    • What led to the end of that


    friendship? (See question above.)

    • What do you think other people


    notice first about you?

    • What is your biggest regret?

    • How long does it take to earn your


    trust?

    • If you found money on the ground,


    would you keep it or look for the
    owner?

    • Do you remember your nightmares?

    • What’s one bad habit you wish you


    could quit?

    Personal questions about


    your friendship

    • What about our friendship is


    important to you?

    • What do you value most in a


    friendship?

    • In what ways do you feel supported


    in the friendship?

    • In which ways do you not feel


    supported in our friendship?

    • In what ways do you feel trust within


    our friendship?

    • What is your favorite trait in me?

    • What’s your favorite part of our


    friendship?

    • Who’s the first person you’d call if


    you got good news?

    • Who’s the first person you’d call if


    you got bad news?

    • What do you most look forward to


    doing with me?

    • What is your least favorite trait in


    me?

    • What do you dread doing with me?

    • What is one piece of advice you


    would give to me if you knew I
    wouldn’t get offended?

    • What would you do if your partner


    didn't like me?

    • What would you do if your parents


    didn't like me?

    • Is there anything I can do to show


    my appreciation for your friendship
    that I do not already do?

    • Have you ever kept a secret from


    me?

    • What made it difficult to share? (See


    question above.)

    • What qualities do you look for in a


    partner?

    • What qualities do you look for in a


    friend?

    • If we could only do one thing


    together before we die, what would
    it be?

    Even more questions for


    friends
    • 105 'most likely to' questions to strengthen
    conversations

    • 90 funny questions for LOL-worthy


    conversations

    • 100 this-or-that questions to make your


    conversations more compelling

    Sarah Fielding
    Sarah Fielding, MS, is an acclaimed
    journalist focusing on mental health, gender rights,
    and social issues. She's also the co-founder
    of Empire Coven, a space for highlighting
    trailblazing women across New York. She has
    written for The Washington Post, The New York
    Times, Insider, Verywell, The Guardian and more.

    Sophie Caldwell &


    Associate Lifestyle Reporter

    ! " # $ %

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