Writing: Session 6

Writing
Session 6
Objectives
By the end of the lesson, you will be able to:
• Identify the elements of an introductory paragraph
• Write good thesis statements
• Practice parallel structure
• Write an introductory paragraphs
Prepared by: Fatma Abo Elsoud

What are the elements of the following
introductory paragraph ?
Technology has highly evolved over time. In fact,

nowadays almost everybody has sort of machine at
hand, be it computers, cars, or even washing
machines. But although machinery was devised to
benefit mankind, it has also brought along many
flaws to match.
(Elements of an Introduction)
(Hook)
Catches the reader’s interest
Gives a general idea and a

background information about the
topic
(the thesis statement)

States the main point of the essay
Thesis Statement
What is a thesis statement?

 The thesis statement is the sentence that tells the
main idea of an essay. It can express an opinion , an
argument or fact to be defended or explained. It
usually comes at or near the end of the introductory
paragraph. It gives the readers an idea as to what the
paper will be about.
Examples of Good Thesis
Successful Civil Engineers have different skills.
 Civil engineers can successfully treat environmental problems because of
their knowledge, professional skills, intellectual skills, and participation in
community activities.
Frank Wright is a distinguished Architect
 The mastery of designing a building such as Falling Water and the ability
to unit the natural landscape with the environment are the two main
reasons why Frank Wright is a great architect.
Consequences of Air pollution in Egypt
 Air pollution in Egypt has affected the country socially, politically, and
economically.
Common Problems in Writing a Thesis
1= Too Broad (too general, vague, not specific enough)

Travelling abroad is very beneficial.
2=Too Limited (simple facts, observation, dead-end)

Walking is a good exercise for the muscles.
 3-Statement of Purpose (announcements)
It states the purpose, scope and direction of the report, but not the
conclusions.
Examples:
This essay describes the four steps required to register a student organization on
campus.
The aim of this essay is to compare between architectural and structural systems.
The objective of this essay is to discuss how engineers influenced environmental
problems.
This essay evaluates budget plans prepared by project managers
4-Conflicting subjects / claims
TV commercials are annoying because they interrupt

watching a good show, but they provide an
opportunity to take a snack break.
In class practice
 Read the writing prompt and the two sample thesis statements.
Decide on the one that is the best choice for a thesis.
 1. Early on in life, people develop an admiration for heroes. In a
well-developed essay, discuss a person you admire and why you
chose this person.
 Option A
 One person I admire is Babe Ruth, who played baseball from 1914
until 1935
 Option B
 One person I admire is Babe Ruth, the greatest baseball player of
all time.
In class practice
 Answers
 Option A is incorrect
 One person I admire is Babe Ruth, who played baseball from 1914 until
1935.
 Although this does address the writing prompt, a thesis statement should be
something you can argue for or against
In class practice
 Answers
 Option B (correct)
 One person I admire is Babe Ruth, the greatest baseball player of all time.
 This statement addresses the prompt, and presents and opinion that can be argued.
In class practice
 2. Discuss the social, political and economic effects of World War II on the United
States.
 Option A
 World War II was a costly war that had a major impact on the economy of the United
States
 Option B
 World War II not only affected the economy of the United States, but also altered the
role of the American government and the American people forever.
In class practice
 Answers
 Option A (in correct)
 World War II was a costly war that had a major impact on the economy of the
United States
 Although this thesis meets all the criteria for a thesis statement, it only addresses
part of the writing prompt. Remember, the statement tells the reader what to
expect. With this as a thesis, one would only expect to read about the economic
effects.
In class practice
 Answers
 Option B
 World War II not only affected the economy of the United States, but also altered
the role of the American government and the American people forever.
 This is correct because it addresses the social, economic and political effects as
stated in the prompt. Notice that the words people (social) and government
(political) were used in this statement. This makes the sentence more original and
shows the reader that you know what “social” and “political” refer to.
More practice
Rewrite the following statements to make the thesis statement clearer
(group work):
Try to include as many of the tips as you can that you learned about AND
avoid the common errors in writing thesis statements!
1. The government should care about mental health.

2. Patients like nurses when they are nice.
3. Note-taking is an important skill that all students should master before
entering college.
Thesis statement
 One of the things that will help you write a good thesis
statement is parallel structure.
 What is parallel structure:

Parallel Structure
Parallel structure
 With the -ing form (gerund) of words:

 Mary likes hiking, swimming, and bicycling.
 With infinitive phrases:
 Mary likes to hike, to swim, and to ride a bicycle.
OR
 Mary likes to hike, swim, and ride a bicycle.
 (Note: You can use "to" before all the verbs in a sentence or only
before the first one.)
Parallel structure
 Do not mix forms
 Mary likes hiking, swimming, and to ride a bicycle.

 Not Parallel
 Parallel:
 Mary likes hiking, swimming, and riding a bicycle.
Parallel structure
Is it parallel?
Example 2
 The production manager was asked to write his report quickly,
accurately, and in a detailed manner.
Answer: not Parallel
 How can we fix it?
Parallel:
 The production manager was asked to write his report quickly,
accurately, and thoroughly.
Parallel structure
Example 3
 The teacher said that he was a poor student because he waited until the last
minute to study for the exam, completed his lab problems in a careless
manner, and his motivation was low.
 Not Parallel
Parallel:
 The teacher said that he was a poor student because he waited until the last
minute to study for the exam, completed his lab problems in a careless
manner, and lacked motivation.
Parallel structure
 Clauses
 A parallel structure that begins with clauses must keep on with clauses. Changing to
another pattern or changing the voice of the verb (from active to passive or vice versa)
will break the parallelism.
 The coach told the players that they should get a lot of sleep, that they should not eat too
much, and to do some warm-up exercises before the game.
 Not Parallel
 Parallel:
 The coach told the players that they should get a lot of sleep, not eat too much, and do
some warm-up exercises before the game.
In- class practice
(Group work)
Rewrite each of the following sentences, correcting any errors in
parallelism.
1) We must either raise revenues or it will be necessary to reduce expenses.
2) The crowd that had gathered outside the court was loud and they were angry.
3) The police have a duty to serve the community, safeguard lives and property,
protect the innocent against deception, and they must respect the constitutional
rights of all.
4) Sir Humphry Davy, the celebrated English chemist, was an excellent literary
critic as well as being a great scientist.
5) My sister's promotion means that she will be moving to another state and take
the children with her.
6) Examples of aerobic exercises are distance running, swimming, cycling, and
long walks.
Writing Activity
 Read the essay then write the missing

introduction
Model Answer
First year college students have to deal with the wide range of
challenges. The successful integration into college life depends on the
ability of the student to make transition into the new role of a college
student. There are several inside and outside issues determining the
successful college experience such as: student’s commitment,
experience at college, academic performance, social network, peer
groups, and communities outside the college. For many students, the
first year at college is an important step in their life passages.
Nevertheless, despite of the expected challenges, it is hardly possible to
avoid social and academic integration challenges, department from
families and control of parents, and opportunity to have fun while
forgetting about the importance of studying as well as the academic
workload.
Attention
The Listening & Reading Quiz is next week (week 4)
It will be on campus
It will be out of 10
Thank you.. !!

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Writing

Prepared by: Fatma Abo Elsoud

Technology has highly evolved over time. In fact,

Gives a general idea and a

(the thesis statement)

What is a thesis statement?

Frank Wright is a distinguished Architect

Consequences of Air pollution in Egypt

1= Too Broad (too general, vague, not specific enough)

2=Too Limited (simple facts, observation, dead-end)

4-Conflicting subjects / claims

TV commercials are annoying because they interrupt

1. The government should care about mental health.

 What is parallel structure:

 With the -ing form (gerund) of words:

 Do not mix forms

 Mary likes hiking, swimming, and to ride a bicycle.

 Read the essay then write the missing

The Listening & Reading Quiz is next week (week 4)

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