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Building Self Esteem With Your Children Presentation

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Leon Spight
Leon Spight

This document outlines the objectives and content of a seminar on building self-esteem in children. The seminar aims to examine the nature and sources of self-esteem, recognize symptoms of high and low self-esteem, explore how a parent's self-esteem impacts their children, identify parenting strategies to build self-esteem, and provide everyday ways to boost self-esteem. Specific topics covered include defining self-esteem, core components, listening skills, praise, problem-solving, communication styles, and tenets for parenting.

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Caryn Skinner Building Self Esteem with Your Children
SEMINAR OBJECTIVES Examine the nature of self esteem and where it comes from Recognise the symptoms of high and low self esteem Examine our own self esteem and how that may impact on our children Identify a strategy for day to day parenting that builds our own and our child's self esteem Examine practical everyday ways of ensuring we build self esteem
WHAT DO WE WANT FOR OUR CHILDREN? I want the best for my children I want them to be responsible, happy and caring I want them to take their place in the World I want them to have successful relationships I want them to be productive in whatever they do and gain satisfaction from it
DEFINITION OF SELF ESTEEM "Self Esteem is realistic self awareness and a belief that we are basically OK” “ A quiet feeling of self worth”
CORE SELF ESTEEM Core Self Esteem Self Confidence Self Trust Self Approval Self Image
OUR CORE SELF ESTEEM value you approve of you spend time with you understand you trust you respect you are on your side are committed to you
SYMPTOMS OF LOW SELF ESTEEM Symptoms = Anxiety Wish they were someone else Rarely volunteer Boast Panic when faced with a new task Feel inferior or unworthy Over dependence on authority figures May bully Lack energy
Value them Spend time with them Respect them Tr ust them Commit to them Be their role model B e on their side ATTITUDE – THE FOUNDATION
KEY QUESTIONS (1) Have I helped them feel good, or at least not bad, about themselves today? Have I shown that I have understood their feelings and/or their point of view on anything today? Have I shown any interest in, or asked about, anything they have done today?
KEY QUESTIONS (2) Have I listened to them with my whole hearted attention at least once? Will they think I am on their side? Try to aim for at least one "yes" every day.
PRAISE Specific Deed not Doer Praise Timing Areas to Improve
ADVANTAGES OF INCREASED EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE Increased physical health Higher academic achievement Better formed relationships Less tendency to violent acts Emotionally healthy
FIVE STEPS TO EMOTIONAL COACHING Become aware of the child's emotion Recognise the emotion as an opportunity for intimacy and teaching Put yourself in the child's shoes and listen, acknowledging the child's feelings Help to find words to express the emotion Set limits while exploring ways to solve the problem
WHY DON’T WE LISTEN? We are pursuing our own line of thought We are relating it all to our own experience We switch off because we know what they are going to say We judge the speaker, labelling everything they are saying instead of listening
POSITIVE COMMUNICATION “ You think you’re so clever” Put downs “ Actions speak louder than words” Body language “ You’re so clumsy” Labelling “ Don’t spill it” Making requests “ Can you hear me?” Listening
WHY DO WE PUT OUR CHILDREN DOWN? To say what was said to us when we were young It is the right thing to do We are down on our reserves
PROBLEM SOLVING Describe the situation Sum up in their words Generate ideas Pick one Confirm if solved
WHAT DOES SELF ESTEEM DO FOR OUR CHILDREN? Face fewer obstacles to fulfilment The negative opinion of others will not immobilise them They will not be undone by failure, they will learn from it They will respect others They will find loving others easier and have lots of love to give away!
AS PARENTS WE MUST: Accept ourselves, recognise what we are doing is the best we can Recognise we have a choice about how to behave as a parent Share our thoughts, feelings and needs honestly and without fear of judgement Look after ourselves and ask for and gain support from others
FOUR KEY TENETS FOR PARENTS To identify our own values To provide us and our children with a sense of direction To accept responsibility for guiding and leading our children to adulthood To avoid the extremes of child rearing fashions and find a sustainable middle way.
SEMINAR OBJECTIVES Examine the nature of self esteem and where it comes from Recognise the symptoms of high and low self esteem Examine our own self esteem and how that may impact on our children Identify a strategy for day to day parenting that builds our own and our child's self esteem Examine practical everyday ways of ensuring we build self esteem

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Building Self Esteem With Your Children Presentation

  • 1. Caryn Skinner Building Self Esteem with Your Children
  • 2. SEMINAR OBJECTIVES Examine the nature of self esteem and where it comes from Recognise the symptoms of high and low self esteem Examine our own self esteem and how that may impact on our children Identify a strategy for day to day parenting that builds our own and our child's self esteem Examine practical everyday ways of ensuring we build self esteem
  • 3. WHAT DO WE WANT FOR OUR CHILDREN? I want the best for my children I want them to be responsible, happy and caring I want them to take their place in the World I want them to have successful relationships I want them to be productive in whatever they do and gain satisfaction from it
  • 4. DEFINITION OF SELF ESTEEM "Self Esteem is realistic self awareness and a belief that we are basically OK” “ A quiet feeling of self worth”
  • 5. CORE SELF ESTEEM Core Self Esteem Self Confidence Self Trust Self Approval Self Image
  • 6. OUR CORE SELF ESTEEM value you approve of you spend time with you understand you trust you respect you are on your side are committed to you
  • 7. SYMPTOMS OF LOW SELF ESTEEM Symptoms = Anxiety Wish they were someone else Rarely volunteer Boast Panic when faced with a new task Feel inferior or unworthy Over dependence on authority figures May bully Lack energy
  • 8. Value them Spend time with them Respect them Tr ust them Commit to them Be their role model B e on their side ATTITUDE – THE FOUNDATION
  • 9. KEY QUESTIONS (1) Have I helped them feel good, or at least not bad, about themselves today? Have I shown that I have understood their feelings and/or their point of view on anything today? Have I shown any interest in, or asked about, anything they have done today?
  • 10. KEY QUESTIONS (2) Have I listened to them with my whole hearted attention at least once? Will they think I am on their side? Try to aim for at least one "yes" every day.
  • 11. PRAISE Specific Deed not Doer Praise Timing Areas to Improve
  • 12. ADVANTAGES OF INCREASED EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE Increased physical health Higher academic achievement Better formed relationships Less tendency to violent acts Emotionally healthy
  • 13. FIVE STEPS TO EMOTIONAL COACHING Become aware of the child's emotion Recognise the emotion as an opportunity for intimacy and teaching Put yourself in the child's shoes and listen, acknowledging the child's feelings Help to find words to express the emotion Set limits while exploring ways to solve the problem
  • 14. WHY DON’T WE LISTEN? We are pursuing our own line of thought We are relating it all to our own experience We switch off because we know what they are going to say We judge the speaker, labelling everything they are saying instead of listening
  • 15. POSITIVE COMMUNICATION “ You think you’re so clever” Put downs “ Actions speak louder than words” Body language “ You’re so clumsy” Labelling “ Don’t spill it” Making requests “ Can you hear me?” Listening
  • 16. WHY DO WE PUT OUR CHILDREN DOWN? To say what was said to us when we were young It is the right thing to do We are down on our reserves
  • 17. PROBLEM SOLVING Describe the situation Sum up in their words Generate ideas Pick one Confirm if solved
  • 18. WHAT DOES SELF ESTEEM DO FOR OUR CHILDREN? Face fewer obstacles to fulfilment The negative opinion of others will not immobilise them They will not be undone by failure, they will learn from it They will respect others They will find loving others easier and have lots of love to give away!
  • 19. AS PARENTS WE MUST: Accept ourselves, recognise what we are doing is the best we can Recognise we have a choice about how to behave as a parent Share our thoughts, feelings and needs honestly and without fear of judgement Look after ourselves and ask for and gain support from others
  • 20. FOUR KEY TENETS FOR PARENTS To identify our own values To provide us and our children with a sense of direction To accept responsibility for guiding and leading our children to adulthood To avoid the extremes of child rearing fashions and find a sustainable middle way.
  • 21. SEMINAR OBJECTIVES Examine the nature of self esteem and where it comes from Recognise the symptoms of high and low self esteem Examine our own self esteem and how that may impact on our children Identify a strategy for day to day parenting that builds our own and our child's self esteem Examine practical everyday ways of ensuring we build self esteem