This document outlines "rules" from a perceived male perspective on relationships and interactions with women. It lists over 20 statements asserting male preferences, such as that breasts are for looking at, sports are important on Saturdays, subtle hints don't work, and questions shouldn't be asked if you don't want an honest answer. The purpose seems to be humorous by exaggerating gender differences and stereotypes.
1. We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.
2. These are our rules: Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
3. 1. Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don't try to change that
4. 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
5. 1. Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be
6. 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
18. 1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
19. 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
20. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle
21. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear
22. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine, Really
23. 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as: Sex, Sport, or Cars