effective communication

Ground Rules Please switch off your mobiles. Make it an interactive session. Brainstorming session Above all Lets agree to Disagree

Index Effective Communication Verbal and Non-Verbal Communication Facial Expression Body Language Listening Skills Dressing Sense Managing the conflict 10 positive interactivity

Communication Find Out what your Listener wants Know what you want to say Control Fear Stop Talking and Listen Think before you talk Believe in your message Repeat Major Points Find Out what your Listener wants

Communication: A Definition Communication is the process of exchanging information by the use of words, letters, symbols, or nonverbal behavior.

Effective Communication Improved stakeholder response Stronger decision making Steadier work flow Clearer promotional materials Enhanced professional image Quicker problem solving Stronger business relationships Increased productivity

Steps in the Communication Process Sender Message Channel Receiver Feedback

Basics of Effective Communication It matters not so much what you say as it does how you say it. Your communication style is a SET of various behaviors and methods of relaying information that impact all facets of life.

Basics of Effective Communication Learning all communication styles is important in order to avoid communicating in less effective ways and in order to recognize those styles in others so as to be able to deal with them. People are not difficult. They only seem difficult to the extent that we do not have the skills to deal with what they bring to the table. It is our lack of knowledge that makes the situation difficult.

Understanding Verbal Communication Styles

Passive Communication Allowing our own rights to be violated by failing to express our honest feelings. The goal of being a passive communicator is to avoid conflict no matter what. Little risk involved – very safe. Little eye contact, often defers to others’ opinions, usually quiet tone, may suddenly explode after being passive too long.

Examples of Passive Communication “ I don’t know.” “ Whatever you think.” “ You have more experience than I. You decide.” “ I’ll go with whatever the group decides.” “ I don’t care. It doesn’t matter to me.” “ Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. . . NO!”

Aggressive Communication Protecting one’s own rights at the expense of others’ rights – no exceptions. The goal of the aggressor is to win at all costs; to be right. Does not consider actions a risk because this person thinks they will always get their way. It is risky in terms of relationships Eye contact is angry and intimidating; lots of energy; loud and belittling; never defers to others, or at least does not admit to; manipulative and controlling. Often uses violence or verbal abuse.

Examples of Aggressive Communication “ I don’t know why you can’t see that this is the right way to do it.” “ It’s going to be my way or not at all.” “ You’re just stupid if you think that will work.” “ “ Who cares what you feel . We’re talking about making things work here.”

Assertive Communication Protecting your own rights without violating the rights of others. The goal of the assertive person is to communicate with respect and to understand each other; to find a solution to the problem. Takes a risk with others in the short run, but in the long run relationships are much stronger. Eye contact maintained; listens and validates others; confident and strong, yet also flexible; objective and unemotional; presents wishes clearly and respectfully.

Examples of Assertive Communication “ So what you’re saying is. . . .” “ I can see that this is important to you, and it is also important to me. Perhaps we can talk more respectfully and try to solve the problem.” “ I think. . . I feel. . . I believe that. . . .” “ I would appreciate it if you. . .” Let me understand your thoughts on this…

Which is the Best Style? All styles have their proper place and use. Assertive communication is the healthiest. Boundaries of all parties are respected. Easier to problem-solve; fewer emotional outbursts. It requires skills and a philosophy change, as well as lots of practice and hard work. When both parties do it, no one is hurt in any way and all parties win on some level.

NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATION Nonverbal Communication in Organizations

The study of non-verbal communication examines how messages are communicated through physical behaviour, vocal cues and spatial relationships. NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATION

The total impact of a message breaks down like this: 7 percent verbal (words) 38 percent vocal (volume, pitch, rhythm, etc) 55 percent body movements (mostly facial expressions) Hello!!

Nonverbal Communication in Organizations ?? Environment ?? Body placement ?? Posture ?? Gestures ?? Facial expressions and movement ?? Clothing, dress, appearance

Effective communication is the combined harmony of verbal and nonverbal actions. Nonverbal communication consists of body movement, facial expressions and eye movement.

Major areas of nonverbal behaviors are: Eye contact Facial expressions Gestures

Posture and body orientation Proximity Para linguistics

E YE C ONTACT The eyes can give clues to a person’s thoughts. When someone is excited, his pupils dilate to four times the normal size. An angry or negative mood causes the pupils to contract.

E YE C ONTACT Good eye contact helps the audience develop the interest in the speaker. Eye-contact helps regulate the flow of communication and reflects interest in others.

E YE C ONTACT Direct eye-contact conveys interest, warmth, credibility and concern. Shifty eyes suggest dishonesty. Downward gaze may be a sign of submissiveness or inferiority.

F ACIAL E XPRESSIONS You have 80 muscles in the face that can create more than 7,000 facial expressions. The facial muscles produce the varying facial expressions that convey information about emotion, mood, and ideas. Emotional expressions are one primary result of activity by the facial muscles.

F ACIAL E XPRESSIONS There are six categories of facial expressions: Happiness Sadness Anger Disgust Surprise Fear

F ACIAL E XPRESSIONS HAPPINESS “ Whoever is happy will make others happy too.” -Mark Twain

F ACIAL E XPRESSIONS SADNESS “ Sadness dulls the heart more than the grossest sin” -Author Unknown

F ACIAL E XPRESSIONS ANGER “ Anger is one letter short of danger” Author Unknown

F ACIAL E XPRESSIONS DISGUST A disgusting expression on the face is considered negative and should be avoided in formal gatherings.

F ACIAL E XPRESSIONS SURPRISE The eye-brows and the eyes are most affected in an expression of surprise.

F ACIAL E XPRESSIONS FEAR There is nothing to fear, but fear itself.

GESTURES Recognizing attitudes conveyed through Body Language Right postures to adopt at the Work Place and postures to avoid Pick up non-verbal signals from a customers body language Facial expressions can enhance or detract verbal communication Setting standards of Body Language to drive Customer Delight at the Public Office

G ESTURES Gestures communicate as effectively as words, sometimes even better. Gestures support the verbal communication. They sometimes detract from what you say.

G ESTURES There are some negative gestures which should be avoided: Pointing at people - It is perceived as accusatory. Fiddling with your items -It gives the impression that you are nervous. Dragging the feet -It implies lethargy. Head Down - It suggests timidity.

G ESTURES Drooping shoulders - It implies weariness and lethargy. Weak handshake -It implies meek and ineffectual personality. Shifty eyes - It suggests nervousness. Arms crossed on the chest - It is a defensive gesture.

G ESTURES Hands in pockets - Shows disrespect, and that you have something to hide. Covering your mouth - It suggests you are lying. Shaking feet or legs - It shows indifference and disinterest.

P OSTURE Body posture can be open or closed. Interested people pay attention and lean forward. Leaning backwards demonstrates aloofness or rejection.

P OSTURE A head held straight up signals a neutral attitude. A head down is negative and judgmental. A head tilted to the side indicates interest.

P OSTURE Some negative postures should be avoided: Rigid Body Posture -Anxious/ Uptight Hunched Shoulders –Lacks interest/ Feeling inferior Crossed Arms -Protecting the body/ Negative Thoughts

What impression do the following people give you?

P ROXIMITY Proximity is the distance people maintain between themselves while talking.

P ROXIMITY DISTANCE ZONES Intimate Zone - No more than18 inches apart (mother and baby) Personal Distance -18 inches to 4 feet. (Casual and personal conversations). Social Distance -4-12 feet (impersonal, business, social gatherings) Public Distance -More than 12 feet( Public speaking)

P ROXIMITY Space/Distance as an indicator of intimacy- The more we get to know each other the more we are permitted into each other's personal space Space/Distance as an indicator of status - Executives, presidents of colleges, government officials have large offices with big space... secretaries have small space

PARALINGUISTICS Para linguistics are what accompany your words to make up for its true meaning. Paralanguage refers to the vocal aspect of communication.

P ARALINGUISTICS Components of Para linguistics are: Rate of speed - When a speaker speaks too fast, he is seen as more competent. Pitch -Pitch should be changed in accordance with the context of spoken words.

P ARALINGUISTICS Volume - It refers to loudly we speak.Loud people are perceived as aggressive or over-bearing. Soft-spoken voices are perceived as timid or polite. Fillers - Words like “umhh” “ah””aaa” are used to gather thoughts.

Remember Its Fun to be Good !

Let ‘Em Hear you are Listening

TWO AND ONE Nature has intended us to LISTEN twice as much as we speak! Listening

Decide to be a better listener . Remember - hearing is only physical , listening is intellectual.

There are four basic components to effective listening listening with empathy listening with openness listening with awareness listening actively

Listening with Empathy Sometimes we do not listen to others because we are not interested in what the other person is saying we do not understand what the other person is saying we do not agree with the other person

To listen with empathy, try to identify what needs the other person is trying to meet Ask yourself these questions: What is he or she asking for? What need is this person’s emotion(s) coming from? What danger is the person experiencing? Listening with Empathy

Sometimes we do not listen because we do not want to hear what is being said we feel threatened by the content we fear being wrong we cannot believe that an unlikable person has something to say that is worth considering Listening with Empathy

Listening with Openness To listen with openness, imagine you are a detective trying to get all the facts. You are trying to find the truth. View the information from the perspective of the other person. Consider the other person’s background, culture, history, etc.

There are two components to listening with awareness: being aware of conflicts between what is being said and your own knowledge base being aware of conflicts between the content of the message and the body language of the speaker (tone, voice inflections, stance, etc.) Recognizing that conflicts can be a tool for making the verbalized message more accurate. Listening with Awareness

Active Listening Active listening means to be verbally involved with the communication. Active listening helps us to keep our minds focused on the communication. The three elements of active listening are paraphrasing clarifying feedback

More types of Listening Informative Listening Relationship Listening Appreciative Listening Critical Listening Discriminative Listening

Barriers to listening Hearing what you want to hear called selective listening Thinking of what you are going to say next Distractions such as co-workers, noise, side conversations etc. Thinking about the previous customer call Worrying about the next customer call or work in general Stress Getting involved emotionally (instead of logically) Holding preconceived ideas about the caller’s inquiry Thinking about personal issues Boredom Making assumptions rather than asking questions

What is Conflict? Many definitions, but several common themes Parties must perceive conflict Opposition or incompatibility Some form of interaction Our definition: A process that begins when one party perceives that another party has negatively affected, or is about to negatively affect, something that the first party cares about. The process usually involves one party or group working for its own interests and in opposition to the interests of the other group or individual.

Type “A” Personality Vs. Type “B Personality

Type ”A” Personality Highly Competitive Strong Personality Restless when inactive Seeks Promotion Punctual Thrives on deadlines Maybe jobs at once

Type “B” Personality Works methodically Rarely competitive Enjoys leisure time Does not anger easily Does job well but doesn’t need recognition Easy-going

Aggressive People Body language Stiff and straight Points, bangs tables to emphasize points Folds arms across body Verbal language “ I want you to…” “ You must…” “ Do what I tell you!” “ You’re stupid!” Aggressive people are basically insecure….. Try to avoid them.

Submissive people Body Language Avoids eye contact Stooped posture Speaks quietly Fidgets Verbal Language “ I’m sorry” “ It’s all my fault” “ Oh dear” Submissive people have a great sense of inferiority

Assertive People Body language Stands straight Appears composed Smiles Maintains eye contact Verbal language “ Let’s” “ How shall we do this?” “ I think… What do you think?” “ I would like…”

Types of Conflict Within an individual Between two individuals Within a team of individuals Between two or more teams within an organization

Causes of Conflict Conflict of aims- different goals Conflict of ideas- different interpretations Conflict of attitudes - different opinions Conflict of behavior- different behaviors are unacceptable

Stages of Conflict Conflict arises Positions are stated and hardened Actions, putting into action their chosen plan Resolution???

Preventing Conflict Assess positive and negative personality traits of people involved Determine personality type Aggressive Submissive Assertive Assess if people are introvert or extroverts...

Preventing Conflict Review past conflicts Assess communication skills of those involved Read body language of participants

Preventing Conflict Try to reduce conflict Realize that communication is colored by personal experience, beliefs, fear, prejudices Try to be neutral Plan the timing and place of the conversation Realize that outside stress may add to confrontation Eliminate/reduce external interruptions

Preventing Conflict Manage the language used Neutral vs. loaded words Reduce technical language Allow for cultural differences in language Words may have different meanings for different people…ask them to elaborate

Personalities who cause conflict Aggressor Passive Absentee Error prone Negative attitude Chatterbox Do nothing

Personalities who cause conflict Unreliable Time waster Resentful person

Assertiveness of Response Low High Similarity of Goals Low High Compete Avoid Compromise Accommodate Collaborate

effective communication

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