The document discusses various ideas and strategies related to influence and persuasion. It emphasizes that likability and overcoming communication blockers are key to influencing others. Additionally, it stresses looking for win-win opportunities, avoiding conflicts, and controlling information. The document provides tips for becoming a more persuasive messenger, such as dressing professionally and finding similarities with others. It also outlines a five-factor planning strategy for influencing outcomes.
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Influence Skillls
1. Influence Skills
The Power of Influence
Andrew L. Urich, J.D.
Puterbaugh Professor of
Ethics & Legal Studies
Oklahoma State University
aurich@okstate.edu
www.andrewurich.com
405.744.8619
2. Can I Influence You?
McDonald’s Coffee Case
Is $3 Million Reasonable?
www.andrewurich.com
3. Idea #1
The Facts Don’t Matter………
If No One Believes You
The FACTS don’t matter!
– Politics
– Marketing vs. Finance
Literally a matter of life and death.
Ability to influence is a key to success.
www.andrewurich.com
4. Idea #2
People Are Annoying
I am a hypocrite.
I play favorites.
I interpret rules in a way that benefits me.
I have been known to ignore rules that get in my
way.
I like people better if they like me.
www.andrewurich.com
5. Idea #2
People Are Annoying
I like my ideas better just because they’re mine.
I think it’s fun to say “no” when I have the power to do so.
You cannot change how I see the world.
It is important to me to look good in the eyes of others.
I don’t even know 1/10th of 1% about anything, but I think I
know everything.
www.andrewurich.com
6. Idea #2
People Are Annoying
I like to be “right.”
I love to say “I told you so.”
I hate to admit I’m wrong even in those rare
situations when it looks like I might be.
Here’s how I make decisions: I decide what I want
the answer to be – and then make up the logical
reasons to support my decision.
www.andrewurich.com
7. Idea #3
Conflict Is Underrated
Everyone wants to participate in
decisions that affect them.
Dispersion of power causes conflict and
growing pains.
Conflict
identifies opportunities for
improvement.
www.andrewurich.com
8. Idea #4
Authority Is OUT – Influence Is IN
Use competence and commitment instead of
position and status.
Team building and leadership are not based on
authority.
We are influencing all of the time – positively or
negatively.
The sign in PS 101
My daughter wants to go to Vegas
Authority at Tinker Air Force Base www.andrewurich.com
9. Idea #5
When is “Sucking Up” actually “Sucking Up?”
It’s
not what you say….it’s how you make
them feel.
My neighbor’s pictures
Baby pictures
The IT people
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10. The Advantage of Ethical Influence
“A lie can travel halfway around
the world while the truth is putting
on its shoes.” -- Mark Twain
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11. Keys to Influence &
Informal Negotiation
Strategy for Success: Plan in advance!
A little preparation saves the day.
It’s not always what you do say – it’s
often what you don’t say.
www.andrewurich.com
12. Keys to Influence
Strategy for Success: Five Factors for Planning
1. Overcome communication blockers.
(First, get them to listen)
2. Look for win/win opportunities (manage self-interest).
3. Become a persuasive messenger.
(Be likeable and look the part)
4. Don’t create conflicts and confrontations.
(Make them feel good about you)
5. Get control of information and misinformation.
(It’s not all about the facts…but facts are important)
www.andrewurich.com
16. Limit the Impact of Your Point of View
Areyou impacted by experience?
(Driving Rule of Relativity)
Are you assuming everyone should think
like you?
Could you be wrong?
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17. Overcome the Bias of Others
What stereotypes might they have about
you?
How can you outflank their bias?
People can only hear and incorporate
things they understand.
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18. Learn to Open Closed Minds
Things are exactly as people choose to
see them.
Is it important enough to care?
Value diversity.
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20. Factor in the Interests
of Both Sides
How will the other person profit from your
relationship?
Can you make the other person’s job easier?
Can you help the other person appear better in
the eyes of his/her superiors?
www.andrewurich.com
21. Win/Win
Make the Pie Bigger
Instead of Arguing About How to Slice It
Win/Win is an attitude.
– 62% believe in the fixed pie fallacy.
– Pay close attention to their concerns.
– Use creativity, diligence and enthusiasm to
identify new options.
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24. Learn to Become EVEN More Likeable
We prefer to comply with the requests of people we like.
We like, trust, and believe people who like us.
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25. Learn to Become More Likeable
It’s not fair– but people judge you by your appearance.
Well-Dressed People are Perceived As:
– More productive
– Responsible
– Personally acceptable
– More intelligent
– More honest
– Hardworking
– Taking their job seriously www.andrewurich.com
26. Learn to Become More Likeable
Consistently search for similarities between
yourself and those with which you deal.
Develop the habit of giving sincere
compliments.
Familiarity and contact enhance liking.
www.andrewurich.com
27. Learn to Become More Likeable
Listening and taking an interest in the other
person
Friendliness
Body language – smiling, nodding, leaning in,
eye contact
People like optimistic and enthusiastic people.
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29. You Will Never
Prove Them Wrong
Have you ever done it before?
Would you rather be right, or would you
rather be happy?
How would you feel if someone proved
you wrong?
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30. Avoid Confrontations
What they say – has a lot to do with what
you already said.
Theirlife experience is different than
yours.
Focus on the issue – don’t make it
personal.
Be very considerate. www.andrewurich.com
31. Keys to Influence
Strategy for Success: Five Factors for Planning
1. Overcome communication blockers.
(First, get them to listen)
2. Look for win/win opportunities (manage self-interest).
3. Become a persuasive messenger.
(Be likeable and look the part)
4. Don’t create conflicts and confrontations.
(Make them feel good about you)
5. Get control of information and misinformation.
(It’s not all about the facts…but facts are important)
www.andrewurich.com
32. Summary of Influence and
Persuasion
The Ten Most Important Things to Remember
1. The most important thing – do they like you?
2. The other most important thing – break through
communication blockers.
3. Authority is out – influence is in.
4. Planning influence opportunities in advance can lead you
to great success.
5. Look for Win/win opportunities. www.andrewurich.com
33. Summary of Influence and
Persuasion
The Ten Most Important Things to Remember
6. You have a point of view.
7. Do not underestimate self-interest.
8. You will never prove them wrong.
9. It’s not what you say….it’s how you make them
feel.
10. Good relationships provide power,
security and success! www.andrewurich.com
34. Thank You
Please keep in touch.
aurich@okstate.edu
www.andrewurich.com
I Like You!
www.andrewurich.com
35. References
Ailes, Roger. You Are the Message. New York. Doubleday, 1988.
Cialdini, Robert B. Influence: Science and Practice. 3rd Ed. New York: Harper Collins, 1993.
Cohen, Herb. You Can Negotiate Anything. Secaucus, N.J.: Lyle Stuart, 1980
Covey, Stephen R. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. New York: Simon & Schuster,
1989.
Dayton, Doug. Selling Microsoft. Holbrook, MA., Adams Media Corporation, 1997.
Fisher, Roger and William Ury. Getting to Yes. New York: Viking Penguin, Inc., 1981.
Forsyth, Patrick. The Negotiator's Pocketbook. London: Alresford Press Ltd., 1993.
Johnson, Spencer. The One Minute Sales Person. William Morrow, N.Y, 1984.
Karrass, Chester L. Give and Take. New York: Harper Collins, 1993.
Karrass, Chester L. The Negotiating Game. New York: Harper Collins, 1992.
Kozicki, Stephen. The Creative Negotiator. Pyrmont, Australia: Gower, 1993.
Lewicki, Roy J., et.al. Negotiation. 2nd Edition. Burr Ridge, Il.: Irwin, 1994.
Nierenberg, Gerald 1. The Art of Negotiating. New York: Barnes & Noble, 1995.
Paul, Richard. Critical Thinking. Santa Rosa, CA: Foundation for Critical Thinking, 1993.
Schoonmaker, Alan N. Negotiate to Win: Gaining the Psychological Edge. Englewood Cliffs,
N.J.: Prentice Hall, 1989.
www.andrewurich.com