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Managing Emotion in Conflict Situations

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WINNERS-at-WORK Pty Ltd
WINNERS-at-WORK Pty Ltd

One of the biggest challenges in conflict situations is to effectively control emotion. Without adequate control over emotions, it is probable that the situation will be poorly managed. This session considers a series of practical ways to think rationally, in a calm and considered way to get the best result from a conflict.

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Dr Tim Baker tim@winnersatwork.com.au www.winnersatwork.com.au Managing Emotion in Conflict Situations
Unit 1—The Five Approaches to Dealing with Conflict Unit 2—Understanding People & their Personalities Unit 3—Managing Emotion in Conflict Situations Unit 4—Being Assertive, Not Aggressive or Passive Unit 5—Essential Communication Skills for Conflict Resolution Unit 6—Giving & Receiving Constructive Criticism
Understanding stress Self-regulation Strategies to reduce stress
Key points about stress … • Stress is manufactured in the mind • Stress means different things to different people • What stresses some people challenges others
Necessary stress 5 Athletic achievement Tuning a violin
Yerkes-Dodson Law Performancearousal High Low Low (distress) Optimum (eustress) High (distress) Stress level Boredom from understimulation Optimum stress load Conditions perceived as stressful Distress from overstimulation
Reactions 7 Excess stress › Poor performance › Dysfunctional behaviour › Health problems › High performance › Job satisfaction › Involvement › Optimum performance › Poor performance › Dysfunctional behaviour › Health problems Too little stress Moderate stress Too little or too much stress can be harmful.
What is Self-Regulation? Self-regulation is the ability to monitor and control our own behaviour, emotions, or thoughts, altering them in response to the demands of the situation.
The Amygdala Hijack • When we feel threatened, thinking can become fast and reactive • The “thinking” part of the brain shuts down • We become reactive (fight or flight) and tunnel visioned • EI competencies are diminished (self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy etc.) • BEWARE THE AMYGDALA HIJACK!
Stress is a Transaction (demands/resources) • Stress is a transaction between a stimulus and a response (Lazarus & Folkman, 1987) • The transaction revolves around the appraisal of a “potential stressor” based on two questions: • Is it a threat to me? • Can I cope?
The 3 lenses 1. Reverse lens What would the other person in this conflict say & in what ways might it be true? 2. Long lens How will I most likely view this situation in 6 months? 3. Wide lens Regardless of outcome, how can I grow and learn from this? Ref: Manage Your Energy, Not Your Time
The importance of reframing to manage stress • Reframing is seeing the current situation from a different perspective, which can alter the way we think about a stressor. • Reframing is helping you or another person to more constructively move on from a situation in which you or the other person feels stuck, overwhelmed or confused.
A happy brain or a negative brain? Practice makes perfect!
Positive Reframing is essential to a growth mindset
Study an emotion in retrospect 1. What makes you angry? 2. How do you typically react when you are angry? 3. What are you telling yourself when you are angry? 4. What personal values are being typically violated when you get angry? 5. How long does it take you to ‘calm down’.
Be Relaxed & Alert not Tense & Unprepared
Your homework Practice the strategies for reducing stress.
Unit 1—The Five Approaches to Dealing with Conflict Unit 2—Understanding People & their Personalities Unit 3—Managing Emotion in Conflict Situations Unit 4—Being Assertive, Not Aggressive or Passive Unit 5—Essential Communication Skills for Conflict Resolution Unit 6—Giving & Receiving Constructive Criticism

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Managing Emotion in Conflict Situations

  • 2. Unit 1—The Five Approaches to Dealing with Conflict Unit 2—Understanding People & their Personalities Unit 3—Managing Emotion in Conflict Situations Unit 4—Being Assertive, Not Aggressive or Passive Unit 5—Essential Communication Skills for Conflict Resolution Unit 6—Giving & Receiving Constructive Criticism
  • 4. Key points about stress … • Stress is manufactured in the mind • Stress means different things to different people • What stresses some people challenges others
  • 6. Yerkes-Dodson Law Performancearousal High Low Low (distress) Optimum (eustress) High (distress) Stress level Boredom from understimulation Optimum stress load Conditions perceived as stressful Distress from overstimulation
  • 7. Reactions 7 Excess stress › Poor performance › Dysfunctional behaviour › Health problems › High performance › Job satisfaction › Involvement › Optimum performance › Poor performance › Dysfunctional behaviour › Health problems Too little stress Moderate stress Too little or too much stress can be harmful.
  • 8. What is Self-Regulation? Self-regulation is the ability to monitor and control our own behaviour, emotions, or thoughts, altering them in response to the demands of the situation.
  • 9. The Amygdala Hijack • When we feel threatened, thinking can become fast and reactive • The “thinking” part of the brain shuts down • We become reactive (fight or flight) and tunnel visioned • EI competencies are diminished (self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy etc.) • BEWARE THE AMYGDALA HIJACK!
  • 10. Stress is a Transaction (demands/resources) • Stress is a transaction between a stimulus and a response (Lazarus & Folkman, 1987) • The transaction revolves around the appraisal of a “potential stressor” based on two questions: • Is it a threat to me? • Can I cope?
  • 11. The 3 lenses 1. Reverse lens What would the other person in this conflict say & in what ways might it be true? 2. Long lens How will I most likely view this situation in 6 months? 3. Wide lens Regardless of outcome, how can I grow and learn from this? Ref: Manage Your Energy, Not Your Time
  • 12. The importance of reframing to manage stress • Reframing is seeing the current situation from a different perspective, which can alter the way we think about a stressor. • Reframing is helping you or another person to more constructively move on from a situation in which you or the other person feels stuck, overwhelmed or confused.
  • 13. A happy brain or a negative brain? Practice makes perfect!
  • 14. Positive Reframing is essential to a growth mindset
  • 15. Study an emotion in retrospect 1. What makes you angry? 2. How do you typically react when you are angry? 3. What are you telling yourself when you are angry? 4. What personal values are being typically violated when you get angry? 5. How long does it take you to ‘calm down’.
  • 16. Be Relaxed & Alert not Tense & Unprepared
  • 17. Your homework Practice the strategies for reducing stress.
  • 18. Unit 1—The Five Approaches to Dealing with Conflict Unit 2—Understanding People & their Personalities Unit 3—Managing Emotion in Conflict Situations Unit 4—Being Assertive, Not Aggressive or Passive Unit 5—Essential Communication Skills for Conflict Resolution Unit 6—Giving & Receiving Constructive Criticism

Editor's Notes

  1. At simplest level Example of necessary stress
  2. Again, simplest level