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Pilot Tech Talk #1 — 101 Nonviolent Communication by Karola Morawska

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This document discusses nonviolent communication (NVC) and how to apply its principles in a workplace setting. It outlines different types of aggressive communication like threats, criticism, and passive aggression. NVC uses empathy, compassion, and understanding to resolve conflicts through observing objectively, identifying feelings and needs, and making requests rather than demands. Examples show how to rephrase statements in a more positive, collaborative way. Key takeaways include focusing on facts, speaking kindly, checking for understanding, giving praise, and paying attention to nonverbal cues.

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101 Nonviolent Communication How to communicate without aggression with your team
Would you be able to recognize violence?
Active aggression ● threatening ● emotional terror ● shouting ● criticizing publicly ● lying ● quitting ● ignoring orders
Passive Aggressive ● being sarcastic ● giving minimum of effort ● hiding behind law ● being unreceptive to change reality ● staying silent ● looking the other way ● accepting low standards ● refusing to participate
How do you communicate? Ask yourself
Do I help people if they ask for help or expertise?
Do I listen to other people? As employee and employer
Am I passively sabotaging some initiatives by ignoring them or not helping them to work?
Do I make early judgments about people, and not try to discover their potential?
There's no such thing as a conflict-free environment
NonViolent Communication at work. Why does it matter?
What is NVC?
Marshall Rosenberg American Psychologist 1960 - Nonviolent Communication (NVC) to help resolve conflicts NVC applies to many areas: ● Relationships, ● Conflict Resolution, ● Parenting and Families, ● Personal Growth, ● Workplace, ● Healthy Body Image, ● Education
Compassion communication ● framework for communicating ● what we feel and what we need ● helps ensuring understanding
Concept of giraffe and jackal
Giraffe Language of emotions and needs Says ‘no’ when thinks ‘no’ Says ‘I’ and talks about herself/himself Language of requests
Jackal ‘You must…’ ‘You have to…’ language of demands
4 steps of NVC
Observe “I see …” “I hear …” “The situation is …”
Identify and express your feelings “I feel …”
Find the need behind your feeling “I would like …” “I need …”
Formulate a clear, positive, double request “Please will you …” “Are you willing to do this”
Examples
Jackal: “He is so rude.” Giraffe: “When I said “hello”, he looked in another direction.” Jackal: “Mr Abraham is not at all able to manage his team.” Giraffe: “Mr Abraham has explained the new strategy and has been interrupted several times by different people.”
Manager: Could we meet at 5 p.m. to see how to deal with …. Employee: I planned to leave at 5 p.m. I have been working late for weeks. Manager (Giraffe): How are you feeling? Employee (Giraffe): I still feel OK, but I need time for my family and friends too. Manager (Jackal): We’ve all been working very hard. This is an urgent case and can’t wait. Employee (Jackal): It’s always urgent. A better schedule would help all of us to be more efficient.
Request vs. demands
Are you willing to help me out? Could you please prepare the figures for the next sales report?
Open vs. close questions
A) Will you get your work done this week? or B) What do you need to hit your deadline this week?
A-E-I-O-U Method
Acknowledge See the positive intentions
Express What you see
Identify Propose a solution
Outcome Outline the benefits
Understanding Ask for feedback
Key Takeaways ● Avoid static language (good/bad, normal/not normal, correct/incorrect). ● Don’t compare ● Avoid subtle judgement words like should, ought and must. ● Avoid judgement words which are used to exaggerate, such as always, never, ever, whenever, often, frequently and seldom. ● Always speak kindly, firmly and clearly. ● Focus on facts ● Switch on the empathy ● Double check “What I hear you saying is…”; “Am I correct in thinking that your biggest concern is…?”
Key Takeaways ● Double check “What I hear you saying is…”; “Am I correct in thinking that your biggest concern is…?” ● Set clear expectations around every project and objective ● When giving instruction, ask your colleagues to repeat back what you just said to ensure you were fully understood ● Give praise generously ● Pay close attention to all non-verbal communication
Thank you
Source .Book: Marshall Rosenberg “Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life”, 2003 Articles: ● http://www.nonviolentcommunication.com/index.htm 2016.04 ● http://www.listeningway.com/cctutorial-1.html 2016.04 ● http://firstround.com/review/power-up-your-team-with-nonviolent-communication-principles/ 2016.04 ● http://jewishcurrents.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/non-violent-communication.gif 2016.04 ● https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/passive-aggressive-diaries/201306/why-passive-aggression-thrives-in-the-workplace 2016.04 ● https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/violent-communication-work-am-i-my-peers-bartlomiej-zawadka 2016.04 ● https://www.americanexpress.com/us/small-business/openforum/articles/8-ways-deal-passive-aggressive-employees/ 2016.04 ● http://dziecisawazne.pl/zyrafa-szakal-co-znacza-symbole-porozumienia-bez-przemocy-2/ 2016.04 ● https://www.cnvc.org/addressing-workplace-conflict-three-steps 2016.04

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Pilot Tech Talk #1 — 101 Nonviolent Communication by Karola Morawska

  • 1. 101 Nonviolent Communication How to communicate without aggression with your team
  • 2. Would you be able to recognize violence?
  • 3. Active aggression ● threatening ● emotional terror ● shouting ● criticizing publicly ● lying ● quitting ● ignoring orders
  • 4. Passive Aggressive ● being sarcastic ● giving minimum of effort ● hiding behind law ● being unreceptive to change reality ● staying silent ● looking the other way ● accepting low standards ● refusing to participate
  • 5. How do you communicate? Ask yourself
  • 6. Do I help people if they ask for help or expertise?
  • 7. Do I listen to other people? As employee and employer
  • 8. Am I passively sabotaging some initiatives by ignoring them or not helping them to work?
  • 9. Do I make early judgments about people, and not try to discover their potential?
  • 10. There's no such thing as a conflict-free environment
  • 11. NonViolent Communication at work. Why does it matter?
  • 13. Marshall Rosenberg American Psychologist 1960 - Nonviolent Communication (NVC) to help resolve conflicts NVC applies to many areas: ● Relationships, ● Conflict Resolution, ● Parenting and Families, ● Personal Growth, ● Workplace, ● Healthy Body Image, ● Education
  • 14. Compassion communication ● framework for communicating ● what we feel and what we need ● helps ensuring understanding
  • 15. Concept of giraffe and jackal
  • 16. Giraffe Language of emotions and needs Says ‘no’ when thinks ‘no’ Says ‘I’ and talks about herself/himself Language of requests
  • 17. Jackal ‘You must…’ ‘You have to…’ language of demands
  • 18. 4 steps of NVC
  • 19. Observe “I see …” “I hear …” “The situation is …”
  • 20. Identify and express your feelings “I feel …”
  • 21. Find the need behind your feeling “I would like …” “I need …”
  • 22. Formulate a clear, positive, double request “Please will you …” “Are you willing to do this”
  • 24. Jackal: “He is so rude.” Giraffe: “When I said “hello”, he looked in another direction.” Jackal: “Mr Abraham is not at all able to manage his team.” Giraffe: “Mr Abraham has explained the new strategy and has been interrupted several times by different people.”
  • 25. Manager: Could we meet at 5 p.m. to see how to deal with …. Employee: I planned to leave at 5 p.m. I have been working late for weeks. Manager (Giraffe): How are you feeling? Employee (Giraffe): I still feel OK, but I need time for my family and friends too. Manager (Jackal): We’ve all been working very hard. This is an urgent case and can’t wait. Employee (Jackal): It’s always urgent. A better schedule would help all of us to be more efficient.
  • 27. Are you willing to help me out? Could you please prepare the figures for the next sales report?
  • 28. Open vs. close questions
  • 29. A) Will you get your work done this week? or B) What do you need to hit your deadline this week?
  • 36. Key Takeaways ● Avoid static language (good/bad, normal/not normal, correct/incorrect). ● Don’t compare ● Avoid subtle judgement words like should, ought and must. ● Avoid judgement words which are used to exaggerate, such as always, never, ever, whenever, often, frequently and seldom. ● Always speak kindly, firmly and clearly. ● Focus on facts ● Switch on the empathy ● Double check “What I hear you saying is…”; “Am I correct in thinking that your biggest concern is…?”
  • 37. Key Takeaways ● Double check “What I hear you saying is…”; “Am I correct in thinking that your biggest concern is…?” ● Set clear expectations around every project and objective ● When giving instruction, ask your colleagues to repeat back what you just said to ensure you were fully understood ● Give praise generously ● Pay close attention to all non-verbal communication
  • 39. Source .Book: Marshall Rosenberg “Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life”, 2003 Articles: ● http://www.nonviolentcommunication.com/index.htm 2016.04 ● http://www.listeningway.com/cctutorial-1.html 2016.04 ● http://firstround.com/review/power-up-your-team-with-nonviolent-communication-principles/ 2016.04 ● http://jewishcurrents.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/non-violent-communication.gif 2016.04 ● https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/passive-aggressive-diaries/201306/why-passive-aggression-thrives-in-the-workplace 2016.04 ● https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/violent-communication-work-am-i-my-peers-bartlomiej-zawadka 2016.04 ● https://www.americanexpress.com/us/small-business/openforum/articles/8-ways-deal-passive-aggressive-employees/ 2016.04 ● http://dziecisawazne.pl/zyrafa-szakal-co-znacza-symbole-porozumienia-bez-przemocy-2/ 2016.04 ● https://www.cnvc.org/addressing-workplace-conflict-three-steps 2016.04