Red flags for Dating Abuse
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This document lists several potential red flags for dating abuse. It notes that abuse often starts slowly and can be emotional or verbal as well as physical. Red flags include a partner becoming too close too fast, exhibiting extreme jealousy by isolating one from friends and family or constantly checking up on their activities, having a much older partner, noticing changes in one's own behavior, and physical symptoms like stomach aches. Friends and family disapproving of the relationship is also a potential warning sign. The document encourages paying attention to signs of abuse and unhealthy relationships.
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Red flags for Dating Abuse
- 1. Red Flags FOR DATING ABUSE
- 2. When will abuse occur? There is no magical formula for when or if abuse will occur in your dating relationship An abusive partner does not invite you to go on a date and then begin hurting you right away Abuse typically begins with little things and then works it’s way up to physical Just because you are not being hit, does not mean you are not being abused Emotional and verbal abuse are just as serious as physical The following are some red flags that your relationship is not healthy and potentially abusive
- 3. Get’s too close too fast! If your new boy/girlfriend rush you to be in a serious relationship right away, that’s a red flag. Relationships take time to develop. If they want to be exclusive from day one or force you be committed before you are ready, please be careful.
- 4. Jealousy does not equal love! •If your dating partner is constantly checking up on you asking where you are, who you are with, and what you are doing? •Gets mad if you do not text back right away. •Wants all your passwords and login information. •Isolates you from your friends and family. •Tells you how much they miss you when you are gone and can’t stand it when you hang out with your friends. •Encourages you to give up your activities so you are more available to spend time with them.
- 5. Your dating partner is much older! The older person will naturally have: More power in the relationship-has car, job, money, house/apt. More sexual expectations You may or may not: Be confident speaking up for yourself As experienced in relationships And you need to ask yourself: Why don’t they have a girl/boyfriend their own age? Why would they want to date someone much younger?
- 6. You change your own behavior! You start keeping quiet instead of voicing your own opinion for fear of getting in trouble Your grades drop in school You are late to school or skip altogether Your personality changes in either direction. You might go from quiet and shy to doing crazy things and partying. Or you might be the life of the party and now all the sudden you are quiet and withdrawn. You use alcohol or drugs to escape what’s happening to you. You start lying to cover up what’s going on
- 7. Physical Symptoms Nervous sick feeling in your stomach Loss of appetite=Loss of weight Headaches Tired all the time Achy muscles
- 8. These are red flags too: If you and your dating partner are constantly breaking up and getting back together If your dating partner says you are just playing around, but their play fighting hurts or leaves marks If your dating partner says they will kill themselves if you were ever to leave them
- 9. Friends & Family do not like this person! Your parents may have a problem with you dating period. It’s hard for parents to realize you are grown up enough to have your own relationships. That’s normal. But if EVERYONE you care about, family, friends, teachers, and coaches are warning you this person is not right for you, please listen. There has to be something they see that you are missing!
- 10. These are just a few red flags. Please pay attention in your own relationships and to those relationships of your friends! Megan Crouch, VFC Director Chelsie Thomas, VFC Prevention Education Coordinator Deona Bethart, VFC Prevention Education Specialist Ohio Department of Health Ohio Domestic Violence Network Ohio Alliance to End Sexual Violence Find us at: www.violencefreecoalition.org www.pieces2prevention.com Shelter services: www.arcshelter.com www.facebook.com/ViolenceFreeCoalition Twitter: @VFCofWarrenCo “This publication/material was supported by the 5VF1CE001114-3 from the Center for Disease Control and Prevention. Its contents are solely the responsibility of the authors and do not necessary represent the official views of the Center for Disease Control and Prevention”