What you say is often far less important than how you say it. One of the harbingers of success is understanding how nonverbal cues such as body language, dress, and demeanor affect how you are perceived and understood. In this book Arif Anis, Psychologist, personal development coach and author of 'Follow Your Dream' demonstrates how to modify your subconscious statements to your greatest advantage and also read what other people are 'saying' nonverbally. These skills will increase your ability to accurately assess moods, decode behaviors, anticipate problems, avoid hidden pitfalls, influence negotiations, and understand the secret motivations of those around you.
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Secrets of Body Language
1. Secrets of Body Language arifanees@live.com
SECRETS OF BODY LANGUAGE
1
Arif Anis
2. The Secrets of
Body Language
Arif Anis
(This presentation is based on Arif
Anisā upcoming book)
arifanees@live.com
Secrets of Body Language 2
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3. Body language is a form of
non-verbal communication,
consisting of body pose,
gestures, and eye
movements. Humans send
and interpret such signals
subconsciously
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4. The Cortico-Limbic
Theory for targeted
communication (CLTC)
Secrets of Body Language 4
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5. to educate the āthinkingā
brain, the neocortex, with
information that is already
inherited in our
āemotionalā part of the
brain ( Amygdala) in the
limbic system..
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6. to better understand others,
control our own body language
to help
us improve our communication
skills
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7. Three interrelated brain
networks involved in
Emotional Body Language
(EBL)
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9. Mehrabian's rule (1971)
Three elements in any
face-to-face
communication
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10. 1. Actual words ( Verbal) 7%
2. Tone, pitch, pace of voice
( Vocal) 38%
3. Facial Expression, gesture,
posture (Visual) 55%
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12. Words are used primarily
for conveying information, while
body language is used for
negotiating interpersonal
attitudes and as a substitute for
verbal messages
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13. Nonverbal Signals
Vary from culture to culture
Microsoft Photo
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14. This is 'good' to
Westerners, 'one'
to Italians,
'five' to Japanese
and 'up yours' to
the Greeks
Everyone
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15. Showing this
American
football
gesture
is a jailable
offence in Italy
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16. 'OK' to a
Westerner,
'money'
to a Japanese,
'zero' to
the French and
insulting to
the Turks and
Brazilians
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17. This can mean
'Good', 'One',
'Up yours' or
'Sit on this'
depending
where you live
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18. 4 Basic positions
REFLECTIVE
OPEN/BACK, people are
interested and receptive, but
not actively accepting. Trying
to close the sale or asking for
an agreement now may drive
them away into fugitive mode.
This is the time to present
further facts and incentives. It
may also be a good time to
Body leaning forward
keep quiet and let them think.
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19. 4 Basic positions
RESPONSIVE
OPEN/FORWARD the
person is actively
accepting. This is the time
to close the sale, ask for
agreement, Body leaninga
demand forward
concession.
Body leaning backwards
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20. 4 Basic positions
FUGITIVE
CLOSED/BACK, people are
trying to escape physically
through the door or
mentally into boredom.
Body leaning forward
This is the time to spark
interest in any way you can,
Body leaning backwards
even irrelevant to the
message.
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21. 4 Basic positions
COMBATIVE
CLOSED/FORWARD, there is
active resistance. This is the
time to defuse anger, avoid
contradiction and outright
Body leaning forward
argument and to steer
them into reflective mode.
Body leaning backwards
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22. Universal Gestures
Shoulder Shrug
ā¢exposed palms to show
nothing is being concealed
in the hands
ā¢Hunched shoulders to
protect the throat from
Body leaning forward
attack
ā¢Raised brow which is a
Body leaning backwards universal, submissive
greeting
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23. Three Rules for Accurate
Reading
Rule 1. Read Gestures in Clusters
Scratching the head
Scratching the head can mean uncertainty
canit'smean ofuncertainty
but also a sign dandruff
but it's also a sign of
dandruff
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24. Critical evaluation
ā¢ Legs tightly crossed and arm
crosses body thus implicated
listener is defensive
ā¢ Head and chin are down
implicate hostility
ā¢ I donāt like what you are
saying and I disagree with
you
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25. Am I being
critically evaluated
now?
Body leaning backwards
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26. Let me first evaluate you
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27. Hillary Clinton
uses this cluster
when she's not
convinced
Body leaning backwards
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28. Three Rules for Accurate
Reading
Rule 2. Look for Congruence
When a person's words
andit's alsothesignlanguage are
but
body of can mean uncertainty
Scratching
a
head
dandruff
in conflict, women ignore
what is said
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30. Three Rules for Accurate
Reading
Rule 3. Read Gestures in Context
All gestures should be
Scratching the head can mean uncertainty
considered dandruff
but it's also a sign of in the
context in which they
occur
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31. The man is cold,
not defensive
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32. Why Kids are Easier to Read
Older people are harder to
read than younger ones
because
they have less muscle tone in
the face
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33. The child telling a lie
Covers the mouth with
one or both hands they
have less muscle tone in
the face
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34. The teenager telling a lie
Rubs fingers lightly
around the mouth
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35. The adult telling a lie
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36. The adult telling a lie
..or they can
just bite lower
lip, purse lips,
or skew
mouth from
side to side
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37. The adult telling a lie
Bill Clinton
answering
questions about
Monica Lewinsky
in front of the
Grand Jury
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38. Modern humans are
worse at reading
body signals than their
ancestors because we
are now distracted by
words
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39. When men lie their body
language can be obvious
Women prefer to look
busy as they lie
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40. Body language is easier
to fake with men
than with women
because, overall, men
aren't good readers of
body language
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41. Fakers can only pretend
for a short period of time
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42. How to Detect Openness
The palms are
intentionally
used everywhere
to infer an open,
honest approach
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43. How to Detect Openness
'Trust me - I'm a
doctor'
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44. Palm Power
Palm up = non
threatening
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45. Palm Power
Palm down ā
authority
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46. Palm Power
Adolf Hitler using
one of history's most
notable Palm-Down
signals
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47. Palm Power
The Palm-Closed-
Finger-Pointed
gesture is one of the
most annoying
gestures
annoying gestures
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48. Palm Power
The pointing finger creates
negative feelings in most
listeners
But often it can inspire the
listeners
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49. Palm Power
..even for the war
of independence
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50. Palm Power
Squeezing the thumb against the fingertips
avoids intimidating the audience
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54. Hand Shakes
The Double-Hander is
like a miniature hug
And
It may produce
discomfort in
unfamiliar recipient
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55. Hand Shakes
Yasser Arafat plants a
Double-Hander on
Tony Blair, whose
tight-lipped expression
shows he's not
impressed
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56. Hand Shakes that
invades the personal
space of the recipient
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57. The Wrist Hold The Elbow Grasp
The Double-Hander is
like a miniature hug
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58. The Upper-Arm Grip The Shoulder Hold
The Double-Hander is
like a miniature hug
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60. The Wet Fish : The Vice :
Hyperhydrosis A desire to dominate
The Double-Hander is
like a miniature hug
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61. Bone-Crusher: The Socket Wrencher :
A desire to dominate Pulling the receiver into
the initiator's territory
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62. The Finger-Tip Grab: The Stiff-Arm Thrust :
Personal space Aggression
difference
The Double-Hander is
like a miniature hug
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63. The Pump Handle : The Dutch Treat :
Lack of 'Giving a handshake like
sophistication a bunch of carrots'
The Double-Hander is
like a miniature hug
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64. The Magic of Smile and
Laughter
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65. False smiles pull back only the mouth, real
smiles pull back both the mouth and eyes
The Double-Hander is
like a miniature hug
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118. Back and front views
of the superiority-
confidence gesture
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119. The Hand-Gripping-Wrist
Gesture : Frustration
and an attempt at self-
control
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120. The Upper Arm Grip:
More frustration
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121. Thumb Displays
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122. The Waistcoat Thruster :
Thumbs are used to
display dominance,
assertiveness or
sometimes aggressive
attitudes
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124. Thumbs-Protruding-
from-Coat-Pocket:
Prince Charles using his
Thumb- Protruding-from-
Coat-Pocket gesture
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125. Giving a contradictory
verbal message: A lawyer
pretending to be humble
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126. Thumbs-Protruding-
from-Back-Pocket: A
person is trying to hide
his dominant attitude.
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127. Closing himself off
but still feeling superior.
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128. signal of ridicule or
disrespect when it is
used to point at another
person.
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145. He's heard enough or
is not impressed
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146. Rodin's āThe Thinkerā showed
a thoughtful, evaluative
attitude, but the body posture
and hand supporting the head
also reveal a dejected person
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147. Chin Stroking : Decision Making
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148. Female version of Chin Stroking
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149. Evaluation/decision- Evaluation, decision,
making cluster boredom cluster
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150. Eye Signals
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160. Women's wider
peripheral vision
means never getting
caught; Men's Tunnel
Vision means always
getting caught
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161. The Power Gaze
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162. Eye Movements
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163. A. Recalling a picture
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164. B. Recalling a sound
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165. C. Recalling a feeling
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166. D. Talking Mentally to
oneself
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167. The Power Lift ā using the pen to control
where a person looks during a presentation
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172. Women stand slightly closer
to one another, face each
other more and touch more
than men do with other men
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173. Doctors and hairdressers are given
permission to enter our Intimate Zones
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174. The people travelling
on a crowded bus or in
a lift aren't unhappy;
they're just masking
their emotions
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175. Whether we are in a
crowded lift, cinema or
bus, people around us
become non-persons
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176. Common lift-riding rules:
1. There will be no talking to anyone, including a
person you know.
2. Avoid eye contact with others at all times.
3. Maintain a 'poker face' - no emotion is
permitted to be shown.
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177. 4. If you have a book or newspaper, pretend to
be deeply engrossed in it.
5. In bigger crowds, no body movement is
allowed.
6. At all times, you must watch the floor numbers
change at all times.
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178. The acceptable conversational
distance for most Western,
Northern European and
Scandinavian city dwellers
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179. A man with a smaller spatial
need forcing a woman to lean
back to defend her space
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180. Two men from the
city greet each other;
their hands reaching
to 18 inches (46cm)
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181. Two people from a
country town reaching
out to 36 inches (lm)
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182. People from a sparsely populated area keeping
their distance
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183. Leg Signals
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184. The Attention Stance:
Closed legs,
Uuncommunicative
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185. Legs Apart: The Crotch
Display - putting
his masculinity on show
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186. The Foot-Forward Position -
pointing at where the mind wants
to go
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193. Not open to
communicating
on any level
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194. Ready to argue the point -
the American Figure Four
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195. The Leg Clamp - is a sign of
the tough-minded, stubborn
individual who rejects any
opinion other than their own
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196. The Ankle Lock: A woman minimizing her leg
space and a man taking up more space
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197. Shy, timid people use the Leg Twine
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198. Men voted Parallel-Legs as
their number one favorite
position in women who are
seated
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199. He's coming on strong with
One-Foot-Forward and Crotch
Display; she's either undecided
or not keen
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201. ļ¼ taking the whole seat
ļ¼ feet steady on the floor
ļ¼ sitting up straight
ļ¼ slightly leant forward
ļ taking the seat before it has
been offered to you
ļ wiggling
ļ nervous movements
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202. ļ Sitting at the edge
ļ to be in a hurry
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203. ļ to lean back
ļ passivity
ļ arrogance
ļ disinterest
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204. ļ feet crossed under chair
ļ not steady on floor
ļ uncertainty
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206. ļ not showing your hands
ļ uncommunicative
ļ ākeeping secretsā
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207. Head Signals
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208. 1. Head Up: Neutral Head
Position
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209. 2.The Head Tilt: displays the
vulnerable neck and makes a
person appear smaller and more
submissive
Secrets of Body Language 209
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210. Tilting the head to reveal the
vulnerable neck appears to
be intuitively understood
by most people
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211. 3. Head Down: a negative,
judgmental or aggressive
attitude
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212. The Head Duck ā trying to
appear smaller in order
not to cause offence to others
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213. the Hands-on-Hips
gesture
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214. Hands-on-Hips makes
you look bigger and more
noticeable because you
take up more space.
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215. Elbows up and pointed shows
readiness to dominate
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220. Contradictory signals: his
right arm shows pointed
aggression while his left
hand attempts to protect his
front
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222. Straddling a Chair: The
Straddler wants to dominate or
control while, at the same time,
protecting his front
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223. The Catapult:
This is a seated
version of the
Hands-on-Hips pose
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231. Women use the
cigarette as a social
display to open the
body and display the
wrist; men close their
bodies when they
smoke and prefer
secretive holds
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232. Smoke blown up: confident, superior, positive;
smoke blown down: negative, secretive,
suspicious
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233. Eye Glasses
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234. Using the glasses to
stall for time
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235. Solid frame glasses can make you look more
sincere and intelligent; over-the-top frames don't
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248. The Corner Position: This
is the most successful
strategic position from
which person B can
deliver a presentation to
person A
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249. The Co-operative
Position
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251. The Independent Position
tells others you don't want
to get involved
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252. Keeping both parties
involved when answering
a question
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253. Power Positions at
a rectangular table
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254. 'Openā families go for
round tables, 'closed'
families select square
tables and 'authoritative'
types select rectangular
tables
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256. Thank You
Please read the upcoming book of the
author on the secrets of body language and
email you comments to arifanees@live.com
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