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The Day I Realized I Was Not Yet An Agile Coach : Presented by Sylvain Mahe

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I remember that morning, 6 or 7 years ago. I had been practicing Agile for a couple of years and I had decided to update my LinkedIn profile. I opened my profile, edited my headline and replaced “Scrum Master” with “Agile Coach”. That was a lie. But I didn’t know it at that time. I really believed I had become a coach. In reality I was a consultant, a trainer, sometimes a mentor. A few years later I decided to go back to school -a coaching school- and it changed my life. In this talk, I shared my personal journey to become an (Agile) Coach and shared what I’ve learned along the way: • What is the difference between consulting, training, coaching and why we should care? • Why by calling ourselves coaches we are not doing any good to the coach profession? • What can we do about it? • How did I become a coach? • What are my coaching tools? • Does your organization really need a coach?

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T H E D AY I R E A L I Z E D I W A S N O T ( Y E T ) A N A G I L E C O A C H T H E J O U R N E Y A N D T H O U G H T S O F A N A G I L E P R A C T I T I O N E R W H O D I S C O V E R E D H I S PA S S I O N F O R C O A C H I N G Sylvain Mahe
WHO AM I? • Entreprise Agile Coach – Publishing,Telcos, Industrial Property, Banking... – Startup companies and MNCs • Leads the largest team of Agile coaches in Singapore at Palo IT, a boutique Innovation consultancy • LifeTransformation Coach (ACC - International Coaching Federation) • Explorer, seeker, salsa dancer and cheese lover Twitter: @mahe_sylvain LinkedIn: https://sg.linkedin.com/pub/sylvain-mahe/2/275/8b0
COACH
CIRCA 2010
CIRCA 2010
AND THEN I MET A REAL COACH…
POSTURES You could do X I’ve done X TryY, because… What else could you try ? X,Y, Z… X is… Consultant Coach Mentor Trainer
3 THINGS THAT MAY HELP BRING YOUR COACHING TO THE NEXT LEVEL (THAT WORKED FOR ME) 1. Know yourself 2. Go beyond the words 3. Hold the frame
LET’S HAVE A CHAT! • Form triads: observer, story teller, listener – Story teller: recall a good memory and share it with the listener – Listener: engage in this conversation as you would normally do – Observer: well… observe  • 3 min
• What kind of questions did you ask? – Open / closed – Leading – Did you make good use of the silence? • Were you fully present? – Did you catch yourself wanting to speak? – Did you interrupt the story teller? – Did you hijack the conversation? • Internal state – Listening? Judging? – What was your intention? (telling a diving trip story) - I was maybe 10m deep and could barely see. - Oh, that was scary, wasn’t it? - I was maybe 10m deep and could barely see. - Oh yes, that reminds me of my diving trip last year… DEBRIEF
MY JOURNEY • My realizations – I talk too much – silence is key – I want to convince – My presence is on and off – I’m the smartest and the world needs to know what I have to say • From now on – I will know myself better – I will try to be a role model PRESENCE > NON JUDGMENT > SILENCE
” “ TIP 1: SELF AWARENESS Self-awareness is one of the rarest of human commodities. I don't mean self-consciousness where you're limiting and evaluating yourself. I mean being aware of your own patterns.
COMMUNICATION ICEBERG Facts Emotions / Feelings Values, beliefs, frameworks • Chit chatCosmetic • Self centered • I (…feel the same, …want to ask, …want to know…) Conversational • Mirroring, paraphrasing • Physical posture • Body language, tone of voice Active • Keywords • Unsaid Deep
GO DEEPER • Rotate roles in the triad – Story teller: think of a topic that you need help with. – Listener: • Set your intention = be like water, explore • Open questions • Presence • Be curious. Really.As much as you can. Make it artificial. Fake it. Play it. Focus on the person. Let your curiosity guide you asking questions. • Mirror – Observer: well… observe  • 3 min • 2 min debrief
MY JOURNEY • My realizations – I’m Intellectual, Emotional – I’m at ease with emotions – I’m not (always) truly curious – I (sometimes) take things personally • From now on – I’ll go out of my comfort zone and experiment FEEL > LISTEN > MIRROR > EMPATHIZE Physical EmotionalIntellectual
“ TIP 2: GO BEYOND THE WORDS & FACTS ” If you change the belief first, changing the action is easier.
C OAC H I N G M O D E L S • GROW • Diverge / converge • Many others… HOLD THE FRAME Reality Goal Barriers Options Source: Executive Coach International
COACHING CANVAS • By Martin Alaimo
PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER (HOMEWORK) • Coaching dojo: initiating significant conversations • 6 ppl – 1 person is the Seeker – 4 are coaches – 1 is an observer • Try – Have the model in mind. Connect questions with model. – Ask open questions – Be curious: Rephrase, Mirror, Explore – Don’t provide solutions – Use silence – Feedback:True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary, Kind (THINK)
MY JOURNEY • My realizations – I get lost in people’s stories – I’m good at opening perspectives • From now on – I’ll bring more structure to the conversations – I’ll improve my questioning:powerful questions EXPLORE > ASK > STEER convergediverge
TIP 3: HOLD THE FRAME “ ” Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way around or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves.
AGILE COACH, A STRANGE BEAST Consultant Coach Trainer Change Leader Expert Mentor Facilitator Source:Agile coaching institute
COACHING? I have a problem What are your options? I pay you to give me answers, not questions
COACHING ORGANIZATIONS • Is the client willing to be coached? • Is coaching what the client need? • What the client needs and wants are 2 different things • Does the client know what coaching is? • What’s your preferred posture? • Is it the right time for coaching? THE RIGHT POSTURE AT THE RIGHT TIME And you, in which organization do you want to work?Source: Peter Green – Agile For All
ASK > APPRECIATE • Marshall Goldsmith – “What Got you here won’t get you there” • Feedforward – Think of something you would like to change in your life – Find someone • A: Say your name • A:Tell your issue (“Here is something I would like to improve in my life”) • B: Offer 2 suggestions • A: Say “Thank you” – No explanations, no comments – Rotate – Shake hands – Do the above with as many people as possible in the next 5 minutes
TAKEAWAYS • Mantras – Presence > Non judgment > Silence – Feel > Listen > Mirror > Empathize – Explore > Ask > Steer • Go further – ICAgile,Agile Coaching Institute – Coaching course – Communication patterns: NonViolent Communication, Transactional Analysis,Toltec Agreements, Core Protocols – Personalities: Process Communication, MBTI, 16PF, Enneagram
THANK YOU “ ” Be the change that you wish to see in the world.
FURTHER READING
The Day I Realized I Was Not Yet An Agile Coach : Presented by Sylvain Mahe

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The Day I Realized I Was Not Yet An Agile Coach : Presented by Sylvain Mahe

  • 1. T H E D AY I R E A L I Z E D I W A S N O T ( Y E T ) A N A G I L E C O A C H T H E J O U R N E Y A N D T H O U G H T S O F A N A G I L E P R A C T I T I O N E R W H O D I S C O V E R E D H I S PA S S I O N F O R C O A C H I N G Sylvain Mahe
  • 2. WHO AM I? • Entreprise Agile Coach – Publishing,Telcos, Industrial Property, Banking... – Startup companies and MNCs • Leads the largest team of Agile coaches in Singapore at Palo IT, a boutique Innovation consultancy • LifeTransformation Coach (ACC - International Coaching Federation) • Explorer, seeker, salsa dancer and cheese lover Twitter: @mahe_sylvain LinkedIn: https://sg.linkedin.com/pub/sylvain-mahe/2/275/8b0
  • 6. AND THEN I MET A REAL COACH…
  • 7. POSTURES You could do X I’ve done X TryY, because… What else could you try ? X,Y, Z… X is… Consultant Coach Mentor Trainer
  • 8. 3 THINGS THAT MAY HELP BRING YOUR COACHING TO THE NEXT LEVEL (THAT WORKED FOR ME) 1. Know yourself 2. Go beyond the words 3. Hold the frame
  • 9. LET’S HAVE A CHAT! • Form triads: observer, story teller, listener – Story teller: recall a good memory and share it with the listener – Listener: engage in this conversation as you would normally do – Observer: well… observe  • 3 min
  • 10. • What kind of questions did you ask? – Open / closed – Leading – Did you make good use of the silence? • Were you fully present? – Did you catch yourself wanting to speak? – Did you interrupt the story teller? – Did you hijack the conversation? • Internal state – Listening? Judging? – What was your intention? (telling a diving trip story) - I was maybe 10m deep and could barely see. - Oh, that was scary, wasn’t it? - I was maybe 10m deep and could barely see. - Oh yes, that reminds me of my diving trip last year… DEBRIEF
  • 11. MY JOURNEY • My realizations – I talk too much – silence is key – I want to convince – My presence is on and off – I’m the smartest and the world needs to know what I have to say • From now on – I will know myself better – I will try to be a role model PRESENCE > NON JUDGMENT > SILENCE
  • 12. ” “ TIP 1: SELF AWARENESS Self-awareness is one of the rarest of human commodities. I don't mean self-consciousness where you're limiting and evaluating yourself. I mean being aware of your own patterns.
  • 13. COMMUNICATION ICEBERG Facts Emotions / Feelings Values, beliefs, frameworks • Chit chatCosmetic • Self centered • I (…feel the same, …want to ask, …want to know…) Conversational • Mirroring, paraphrasing • Physical posture • Body language, tone of voice Active • Keywords • Unsaid Deep
  • 14. GO DEEPER • Rotate roles in the triad – Story teller: think of a topic that you need help with. – Listener: • Set your intention = be like water, explore • Open questions • Presence • Be curious. Really.As much as you can. Make it artificial. Fake it. Play it. Focus on the person. Let your curiosity guide you asking questions. • Mirror – Observer: well… observe  • 3 min • 2 min debrief
  • 15. MY JOURNEY • My realizations – I’m Intellectual, Emotional – I’m at ease with emotions – I’m not (always) truly curious – I (sometimes) take things personally • From now on – I’ll go out of my comfort zone and experiment FEEL > LISTEN > MIRROR > EMPATHIZE Physical EmotionalIntellectual
  • 16. “ TIP 2: GO BEYOND THE WORDS & FACTS ” If you change the belief first, changing the action is easier.
  • 17. C OAC H I N G M O D E L S • GROW • Diverge / converge • Many others… HOLD THE FRAME Reality Goal Barriers Options Source: Executive Coach International
  • 18. COACHING CANVAS • By Martin Alaimo
  • 19. PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER (HOMEWORK) • Coaching dojo: initiating significant conversations • 6 ppl – 1 person is the Seeker – 4 are coaches – 1 is an observer • Try – Have the model in mind. Connect questions with model. – Ask open questions – Be curious: Rephrase, Mirror, Explore – Don’t provide solutions – Use silence – Feedback:True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary, Kind (THINK)
  • 20. MY JOURNEY • My realizations – I get lost in people’s stories – I’m good at opening perspectives • From now on – I’ll bring more structure to the conversations – I’ll improve my questioning:powerful questions EXPLORE > ASK > STEER convergediverge
  • 21. TIP 3: HOLD THE FRAME “ ” Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way around or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves.
  • 22. AGILE COACH, A STRANGE BEAST Consultant Coach Trainer Change Leader Expert Mentor Facilitator Source:Agile coaching institute
  • 23. COACHING? I have a problem What are your options? I pay you to give me answers, not questions
  • 24. COACHING ORGANIZATIONS • Is the client willing to be coached? • Is coaching what the client need? • What the client needs and wants are 2 different things • Does the client know what coaching is? • What’s your preferred posture? • Is it the right time for coaching? THE RIGHT POSTURE AT THE RIGHT TIME And you, in which organization do you want to work?Source: Peter Green – Agile For All
  • 25. ASK > APPRECIATE • Marshall Goldsmith – “What Got you here won’t get you there” • Feedforward – Think of something you would like to change in your life – Find someone • A: Say your name • A:Tell your issue (“Here is something I would like to improve in my life”) • B: Offer 2 suggestions • A: Say “Thank you” – No explanations, no comments – Rotate – Shake hands – Do the above with as many people as possible in the next 5 minutes
  • 26. TAKEAWAYS • Mantras – Presence > Non judgment > Silence – Feel > Listen > Mirror > Empathize – Explore > Ask > Steer • Go further – ICAgile,Agile Coaching Institute – Coaching course – Communication patterns: NonViolent Communication, Transactional Analysis,Toltec Agreements, Core Protocols – Personalities: Process Communication, MBTI, 16PF, Enneagram
  • 27. THANK YOU “ ” Be the change that you wish to see in the world.