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T H E D AY I R E A L I Z E D I W A S N O T
( Y E T ) A N A G I L E C O A C H
T H E J O U R N E Y A N D T H O U G H T S O F A N A G I L E
P R A C T I T I O N E R W H O D I S C O V E R E D H I S PA S S I O N
F O R C O A C H I N G
Sylvain Mahe
WHO AM I?
• Entreprise Agile Coach
– Publishing,Telcos, Industrial Property, Banking...
– Startup companies and MNCs
• Leads the largest team of Agile coaches in Singapore at Palo IT, a boutique Innovation consultancy
• LifeTransformation Coach (ACC - International Coaching Federation)
• Explorer, seeker, salsa dancer and cheese lover
Twitter: @mahe_sylvain
LinkedIn: https://sg.linkedin.com/pub/sylvain-mahe/2/275/8b0
COACH
CIRCA 2010
CIRCA 2010
AND THEN I MET A REAL COACH…
POSTURES
You could
do X
I’ve done
X
TryY,
because…
What else
could you
try ?
X,Y, Z…
X is…
Consultant Coach
Mentor Trainer
3 THINGS THAT MAY HELP
BRING YOUR COACHING
TO THE NEXT LEVEL (THAT WORKED FOR ME)
1. Know yourself
2. Go beyond the words
3. Hold the frame
LET’S HAVE A CHAT!
• Form triads: observer, story teller, listener
– Story teller: recall a good memory and share it with the listener
– Listener: engage in this conversation as you would normally do
– Observer: well… observe 
• 3 min
• What kind of questions did you ask?
– Open / closed
– Leading
– Did you make good use of the silence?
• Were you fully present?
– Did you catch yourself wanting to speak?
– Did you interrupt the story teller?
– Did you hijack the conversation?
• Internal state
– Listening? Judging?
– What was your intention?
(telling a diving trip story)
- I was maybe 10m deep and could
barely see.
- Oh, that was scary, wasn’t it?
- I was maybe 10m deep and could
barely see.
- Oh yes, that reminds me of my
diving trip last year…
DEBRIEF
MY JOURNEY
• My realizations
– I talk too much – silence is key
– I want to convince
– My presence is on and off
– I’m the smartest and the world needs to know what I
have to say
• From now on
– I will know myself better
– I will try to be a role model
PRESENCE > NON JUDGMENT > SILENCE
”
“
TIP 1: SELF AWARENESS
Self-awareness is one of the rarest of human commodities. I
don't mean self-consciousness where you're limiting and
evaluating yourself. I mean being aware of your own patterns.
COMMUNICATION ICEBERG
Facts
Emotions /
Feelings
Values, beliefs,
frameworks
• Chit chatCosmetic
• Self centered
• I (…feel the same, …want to
ask, …want to know…)
Conversational
• Mirroring, paraphrasing
• Physical posture
• Body language, tone of voice
Active
• Keywords
• Unsaid
Deep
GO DEEPER
• Rotate roles in the triad
– Story teller: think of a topic that you need help with.
– Listener:
• Set your intention = be like water, explore
• Open questions
• Presence
• Be curious. Really.As much as you can. Make it artificial. Fake it. Play it. Focus on the
person. Let your curiosity guide you asking questions.
• Mirror
– Observer: well… observe 
• 3 min
• 2 min debrief
MY JOURNEY
• My realizations
– I’m Intellectual, Emotional
– I’m at ease with emotions
– I’m not (always) truly curious
– I (sometimes) take things personally
• From now on
– I’ll go out of my comfort zone and
experiment
FEEL > LISTEN > MIRROR > EMPATHIZE
Physical
EmotionalIntellectual
“
TIP 2: GO BEYOND THE WORDS & FACTS
”
If you change the belief first, changing the action is easier.
C OAC H I N G
M O D E L S
• GROW
• Diverge / converge
• Many others…
HOLD THE FRAME
Reality Goal
Barriers
Options
Source: Executive Coach International
COACHING CANVAS
• By Martin Alaimo
PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER (HOMEWORK)
• Coaching dojo: initiating significant conversations
• 6 ppl
– 1 person is the Seeker
– 4 are coaches
– 1 is an observer
• Try
– Have the model in mind. Connect questions with model.
– Ask open questions
– Be curious: Rephrase, Mirror, Explore
– Don’t provide solutions
– Use silence
– Feedback:True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary, Kind (THINK)
MY JOURNEY
• My realizations
– I get lost in people’s stories
– I’m good at opening perspectives
• From now on
– I’ll bring more structure to the conversations
– I’ll improve my questioning:powerful questions
EXPLORE > ASK > STEER
convergediverge
TIP 3: HOLD THE FRAME
“
”
Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water
into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it
becomes the bottle.
Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but
adjust to the object, and you shall find a way around or through it. If
nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves.
AGILE COACH, A STRANGE BEAST
Consultant
Coach
Trainer
Change
Leader
Expert
Mentor
Facilitator
Source:Agile coaching institute
COACHING?
I have a
problem
What are
your
options?
I pay you to give
me answers, not
questions
COACHING
ORGANIZATIONS
• Is the client willing to be coached?
• Is coaching what the client need?
• What the client needs and wants are
2 different things
• Does the client know what coaching
is?
• What’s your preferred posture?
• Is it the right time for coaching?
THE RIGHT POSTURE AT
THE RIGHT TIME
And you, in which
organization do
you want to work?Source: Peter Green – Agile For All
ASK > APPRECIATE
• Marshall Goldsmith
– “What Got you here won’t get you there”
• Feedforward
– Think of something you would like to change in your life
– Find someone
• A: Say your name
• A:Tell your issue (“Here is something I would like to improve in my life”)
• B: Offer 2 suggestions
• A: Say “Thank you”
– No explanations, no comments
– Rotate
– Shake hands
– Do the above with as many people as possible in the next 5 minutes
TAKEAWAYS
• Mantras
– Presence > Non judgment > Silence
– Feel > Listen > Mirror > Empathize
– Explore > Ask > Steer
• Go further
– ICAgile,Agile Coaching Institute
– Coaching course
– Communication patterns: NonViolent Communication,
Transactional Analysis,Toltec Agreements, Core
Protocols
– Personalities: Process Communication, MBTI, 16PF,
Enneagram
THANK YOU
“ ”
Be the change that you wish to see in the world.
FURTHER READING
The Day I Realized I Was Not Yet An Agile Coach : Presented by Sylvain Mahe

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The Day I Realized I Was Not Yet An Agile Coach : Presented by Sylvain Mahe

  • 1. T H E D AY I R E A L I Z E D I W A S N O T ( Y E T ) A N A G I L E C O A C H T H E J O U R N E Y A N D T H O U G H T S O F A N A G I L E P R A C T I T I O N E R W H O D I S C O V E R E D H I S PA S S I O N F O R C O A C H I N G Sylvain Mahe
  • 2. WHO AM I? • Entreprise Agile Coach – Publishing,Telcos, Industrial Property, Banking... – Startup companies and MNCs • Leads the largest team of Agile coaches in Singapore at Palo IT, a boutique Innovation consultancy • LifeTransformation Coach (ACC - International Coaching Federation) • Explorer, seeker, salsa dancer and cheese lover Twitter: @mahe_sylvain LinkedIn: https://sg.linkedin.com/pub/sylvain-mahe/2/275/8b0
  • 6. AND THEN I MET A REAL COACH…
  • 7. POSTURES You could do X I’ve done X TryY, because… What else could you try ? X,Y, Z… X is… Consultant Coach Mentor Trainer
  • 8. 3 THINGS THAT MAY HELP BRING YOUR COACHING TO THE NEXT LEVEL (THAT WORKED FOR ME) 1. Know yourself 2. Go beyond the words 3. Hold the frame
  • 9. LET’S HAVE A CHAT! • Form triads: observer, story teller, listener – Story teller: recall a good memory and share it with the listener – Listener: engage in this conversation as you would normally do – Observer: well… observe  • 3 min
  • 10. • What kind of questions did you ask? – Open / closed – Leading – Did you make good use of the silence? • Were you fully present? – Did you catch yourself wanting to speak? – Did you interrupt the story teller? – Did you hijack the conversation? • Internal state – Listening? Judging? – What was your intention? (telling a diving trip story) - I was maybe 10m deep and could barely see. - Oh, that was scary, wasn’t it? - I was maybe 10m deep and could barely see. - Oh yes, that reminds me of my diving trip last year… DEBRIEF
  • 11. MY JOURNEY • My realizations – I talk too much – silence is key – I want to convince – My presence is on and off – I’m the smartest and the world needs to know what I have to say • From now on – I will know myself better – I will try to be a role model PRESENCE > NON JUDGMENT > SILENCE
  • 12. ” “ TIP 1: SELF AWARENESS Self-awareness is one of the rarest of human commodities. I don't mean self-consciousness where you're limiting and evaluating yourself. I mean being aware of your own patterns.
  • 13. COMMUNICATION ICEBERG Facts Emotions / Feelings Values, beliefs, frameworks • Chit chatCosmetic • Self centered • I (…feel the same, …want to ask, …want to know…) Conversational • Mirroring, paraphrasing • Physical posture • Body language, tone of voice Active • Keywords • Unsaid Deep
  • 14. GO DEEPER • Rotate roles in the triad – Story teller: think of a topic that you need help with. – Listener: • Set your intention = be like water, explore • Open questions • Presence • Be curious. Really.As much as you can. Make it artificial. Fake it. Play it. Focus on the person. Let your curiosity guide you asking questions. • Mirror – Observer: well… observe  • 3 min • 2 min debrief
  • 15. MY JOURNEY • My realizations – I’m Intellectual, Emotional – I’m at ease with emotions – I’m not (always) truly curious – I (sometimes) take things personally • From now on – I’ll go out of my comfort zone and experiment FEEL > LISTEN > MIRROR > EMPATHIZE Physical EmotionalIntellectual
  • 16. “ TIP 2: GO BEYOND THE WORDS & FACTS ” If you change the belief first, changing the action is easier.
  • 17. C OAC H I N G M O D E L S • GROW • Diverge / converge • Many others… HOLD THE FRAME Reality Goal Barriers Options Source: Executive Coach International
  • 18. COACHING CANVAS • By Martin Alaimo
  • 19. PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER (HOMEWORK) • Coaching dojo: initiating significant conversations • 6 ppl – 1 person is the Seeker – 4 are coaches – 1 is an observer • Try – Have the model in mind. Connect questions with model. – Ask open questions – Be curious: Rephrase, Mirror, Explore – Don’t provide solutions – Use silence – Feedback:True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary, Kind (THINK)
  • 20. MY JOURNEY • My realizations – I get lost in people’s stories – I’m good at opening perspectives • From now on – I’ll bring more structure to the conversations – I’ll improve my questioning:powerful questions EXPLORE > ASK > STEER convergediverge
  • 21. TIP 3: HOLD THE FRAME “ ” Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way around or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves.
  • 22. AGILE COACH, A STRANGE BEAST Consultant Coach Trainer Change Leader Expert Mentor Facilitator Source:Agile coaching institute
  • 23. COACHING? I have a problem What are your options? I pay you to give me answers, not questions
  • 24. COACHING ORGANIZATIONS • Is the client willing to be coached? • Is coaching what the client need? • What the client needs and wants are 2 different things • Does the client know what coaching is? • What’s your preferred posture? • Is it the right time for coaching? THE RIGHT POSTURE AT THE RIGHT TIME And you, in which organization do you want to work?Source: Peter Green – Agile For All
  • 25. ASK > APPRECIATE • Marshall Goldsmith – “What Got you here won’t get you there” • Feedforward – Think of something you would like to change in your life – Find someone • A: Say your name • A:Tell your issue (“Here is something I would like to improve in my life”) • B: Offer 2 suggestions • A: Say “Thank you” – No explanations, no comments – Rotate – Shake hands – Do the above with as many people as possible in the next 5 minutes
  • 26. TAKEAWAYS • Mantras – Presence > Non judgment > Silence – Feel > Listen > Mirror > Empathize – Explore > Ask > Steer • Go further – ICAgile,Agile Coaching Institute – Coaching course – Communication patterns: NonViolent Communication, Transactional Analysis,Toltec Agreements, Core Protocols – Personalities: Process Communication, MBTI, 16PF, Enneagram
  • 27. THANK YOU “ ” Be the change that you wish to see in the world.