The document discusses using time wisely and living life without regrets, encouraging the reader to make the most of every moment and live each day as if it were their last. It reflects on how time passes quickly and life is short, so we should live passionately and joyfully without dwelling on past regrets. The overall message is to treasure each day and moment as a gift and live fully without wasting time on things we cannot change.
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The Mustard Seed January 2018
1. Nov 2017 - Jan 2018 Vol 28 - No.16
Raadhika Dosa D'Cruz
26 Jan 2018
THE PRESENT IS A GIFT
There is no time like the Present, there is no greater gift than the Time we
have on this planet. How we choose to use ourTime is up to us. God gifts us
withTimeintheWorldandhow weuse thisTimeisour gifttoGod.
Let us not waste our Time, mere grains of sand in the hourglass of our life.
Time once spent can never return. How many of us are steeped in Regret,
that miserable companion who reminds us of everything we never did and
now it's far too late to even try? Regret is grief for what can never be. I want
tolivemylifewithoutregrets.
Impossibletoachieve.
On some level, all of us have said or done, or worse- not said and never done
things we now regret. And then it is too late to change or re-write the Past,
the moment, the hurt.We lose the moment and theTime is never right again.
Which is not to say we cannot say we are sorry and try to undo the wrongs of
thePast.
Let us consider this new year as a challenge: to live a year without regret.To
step out of the old and familiar and walk new paths, learn new things for the
sheer joy of knowing them, meet new people, make new friends, let go of
thepast.
For LifeistooshortforRegret
.
Life is delicate, and fragile and infinitely precious. And unexpected and
sudden and far too brief. So make the most of every moment, don't live to
Regret,butlivewithJoy andPassion andPrayer.
Breathe and live in each moment to it's fullest and live each day as if it were
yourlast.
Thatismyprayerforallofus. Happy NewYear!
2. Dear Ms Raadhika,
I happened to receive your Mustard
Seed through mail and I want to thank
you for the same. Very inspiring and
motivating material. I am attaching a
write-up which I would like to share.
If you feel it would be apt to be
inserted in your next issue you can go
ahead. Do you have any criteria
concerning the matter required to be
printed in your issues? Kindly get
back.
Thankingyou.
-Quentin Fernandez
Thank you for writing to us
Quentin.
We would like our readers
to know that you can send articles
that can inspire, connect and convey
a message to everyone.
- Editor
Dear Raadhika,
Thank you so much for publishing
the article on our Foundress,
MotherTeresaof St.Rose of Lima.
- Sr.Victorine CSST
Note: We sincerely apologize for the
having missed the author’s name We
thank Sr. Victorine Attavelil, CSST, for
enriching our lives with her article on
Mother Teresa of St.Rose of Lima, in our
lastissue (Oct2017).
"Drama is very important in life: You
have to come on with a bang. You
never want to go out with a whimper.
Everything can have drama if it's
done right. Even a pancake"
- Julia Child
Editor’s Note: We appreciate your kindness and generosity that has helped us put out
this edition of The Mustard Seed. We thrive on the support of our readers, we would
also love to hear from you. And if you are a writer and you want us to publish an
article, please feel free to contact us.
Dear Raadhika,
Thank you very much for the digital
edition of the "Mustard Seed" which
continuestobeinspiring&beautiful!
I would also like to thank you for
sending the same to my postal
address regularly...it is deeply
appreciated!
With love, gratitude & abundant
blessings in this enterprising
endeavour!
-Sr.Puriel
3. I was introduced
many years ago to
an Englishwoman
who was around 70
years of age. I
was asked by my
friends if I would
give her a ride to a
“snake village” in
the precincts of New Delhi and was
told she was a “real lady”. The only
members of the English peerage I had
encountered earlier were characters in
P.G. Wodehouse's novels, like the
aging Clarence, Lord Emsworth of
Blandings Castle and his sisters, all
daughters of “a hundred earls”. So I
was interested to meet this “real lady”
who had a double right to the
appellation. Not only was her husband
knighted for his contribution to
English poetry, but her father was
Lord Someone or Other who had
served on the Viceroy's Council in the
days when Britannia was beginning to
lose her grip on the waves she ruled.
We were introduced and she stuck out
her hand and said “CallmePenny”.
She had grown up in India as a girl and
loved the country passionately. She
visited the India of her childhood
frequently and often brought her
friends along, serving as their guide. I
hadn't heard of any 'snake village'
around Delhi and anyway I'm afraid of
snakes, but she told me she would
guide me. We got there, under her
directions and she was gladly
welcomed like a daughter of the
village. There were real live snakes,
which she fondled and then put one
around her neck. I was horrified. This
real lady then took one of the monsters
in her hands and garlanded me with it.
Strangely, I didn't scream with fright,
but I began to feel a certain link with
the snake, with the lady and with the
villagers. I haven't handled a snake
since then, but I haven't forgotten
Penny.
A couple of years later, after I had
applied for dispensation from my vow
of celibacy, and had moved to a small,
barely furnished, two-room apartment
in Ghatla Village, in downtown
Mumbai, I had a message from Penny
to say she was visiting India again
with two friends and asking if she
could visit me. I was happy to see her
drive to my place in a car with two
young under-graduates from a
prestigious British University. We sat
around, after a hasty meal, and she
regaled us with her scary experiences
of driving overland through uncharted
roads. On one occasion she was
alone with a young woman when a
man approached menacingly. Penny
told the young woman to run away
while she grappled with the man,
saving her companion from a fate
worse than death! She was that kind of
person.
We retired for the night, she and I
taking one bedroom each and leaving
the young men to fend for themselves
on the floor of the third room.The next
morning she asked me what was the
“strange toothpaste” that I used.
Apparently, she had woken up before
the rest of us and had used my tube of
shaving cream from the bathroom
sink! She hadn't wanted to disturb our
sleep. That's what I mean by A Real
Lady.
-Patrick DeSouza
A REAL LADY
(Lady, by Sue Halstenberg,
via fineartamerica.com)
3
4. HOW TO CHANGE OTHERS
The behaviour of others should
not be allowed to rob us of our
peace of mind. It is difficult for
anyone to remain mentally clam
and hold his tongue when he is
irritated by others, but no human
being can successfully go through
life telling everyone who annoys
him how to behave. Unsolicited
counsel creates some tremendous
resentment. One should not try to
impose his will or ideas upon those
around him unless they have asked
forsuchguidance.
One mistake often made by novices
on the spiritual path is that the
moment they feel enthusiasm for
seeking God, they want to change
the whole world. They start a
spiritual revolution in the home,
with an all-out effort to convert the
husband or wife and the children. It
is wonderful to have that kind of
eagerness, but it almost always
arousesantagonism.
Paramahansaji used to say to such
enthusiasts, “Change yourself first;
reform yourself and you will
reform thousands.” Unless one is
seeking guidance, he doesn't want
to be told what to do. No one likes
to have advice forced upon him.
When he is ready for counsel he
will ask for it, and he will want it
from one with whom he lives, or
whom he loves or admires, if he
sees a beneficial change his taken
place in that person's life. But as
long as change is shown only in the
form of platitudes or lip service, the
doubterwillresist.
Be an example of what you want
others to be. If you are inclined to
lose your temper and fight back and
speak harshly; if you scold the
children unreasonably; if you are
nervous and easily upset, shouting
and speaking unkindly—change
yourself! That is the best way to
change those around you. It is hard
todo,butitcanbedone.”
(Source: Sri Sri Daya Mata, How
toChange Others)
4
There will always be a reason why you meet
people. Either you need them to change your
life or you're the one that will change theirs.
Love. Connected. One
5. “Christmas is usually a noisy
party: we could use a bit of silence,
to hear the voice of Love. Christmas
is you, when you decide to be born
again each day and let God into
your soul. The Christmas pine is
you, when you resist vigorous
winds and difficulties of life. The
Christmas decorations are you,
when your virtues are colors that
adorn your life. The Christmas bell
is you, when you call, gather and
seek to unite. You are also a
Christmas light, when you
illuminate with your life the path of
others with kindness, patience, joy
and generosity. The Christmas
angels are you, when you sing to the
world a message of peace, justice
and love. The Christmas star is you,
when you lead someone to meet the
Lord. You are also the wise men,
when you give the best you have no
matter who. Christmas music is you
when you conquer the harmony
within you. The Christmas gift is
you, when you are truly friend and
brother of every human being. The
Christmas card is you, when
kindness is written in your hands.
The Christmas greeting is you,
when you forgive and reestablish
peace, even when you suffer. The
Christmas dinner is you, when you
sated bread and hope to the poor
man who is by your side. You are,
yes, Christmas night, when humble
and conscious, you receive in the
silence of the night the Savior of the
world without noise or great
celebrations; you are a smile of trust
and tenderness, in the inner peace of
a perennial Christmas that
establishes the Kingdom within
you.Avery Merry Christmas for all
thosewho looklikeChristmas.
(Sourced from the internet)
POPE FRANCIS ON CHRISTMAS
5
6. What is a miracle? Read this real-life
incident and decide for yourself: A
friend of mine had built up his
business single-handedly over the
years. He had some properties that
had run into legal tangles and matters
became so bad that he was facing
court cases which, if the judgment
went against him, would not only
mean bankruptcy but even possible
imprisonment.
His lawyer urgently called him back
to his home town where the court
case was on, cautioning him that the
judgment could go against him. My
friend caught an overnight train and
was travelling alone. He could not
sleep though he had a berth. He
tossed and turned for hours, then got
up in the dark silence of the
compartment and sauntered to the
exit. Opening the compartment door,
he stood holding the railings and
staring out into nothing. Outside, it
was a moonless night, and the train
was going through barren land, with
no inhabitants or lights anywhere for
miles.
Looking out into the darkness, he
wryly thought that his life had
become like the pitch darkness he
was looking blankly at. The train
was not even going through a tunnel
for him to hope for light at the end.
He started reflecting on his current
situation – and it appeared very bleak.
At that moment he lost all hope. He
did not want to face the morrow with
the court, litigation and possibility of
failure. Athought flashed in his mind
that if he just let go of the railings, he
would easily fall into the black night
and die – ending all his pain and
misery.
The thought of suicide gave him
vicious pleasure. He would be
beyond the law, beyond society and
the cruel world, he thought. So he
just stood there, numb and bereft of
all emotions, ready to lean forward
and fall. He says he does not
remember how long he stood there
with just the impulse that he was
ready to let go. The moment seemed
tostretchintoeternity.
Suddenly he peered hard into the
darkness and was puzzled with a thin
red curved line far away but clearly
visible. He could not imagine what it
could be. He kept staring at it
mesmerized, and miraculously the
red lined became wider, brighter and
longer. And then he saw it…. the
reddening of the horizon, and the sun
peeping from beyond the plains. The
landscape jumped into view, the
trees, the paddy fields shimmering in
the early sunlight, the hills far
beyond. And that moment gave him
the answer – that however dark the
night, no one can stop the dawn. The
worst was over. He says that if the
dawn had delayed by a few minutes
hewould havebeendead.
He went back to his berth, relaxed for
an hour and the train reached its
destination. Hehadashower and
WHO PAINTED THE RED LINE?
6
7. breakfast and went to Court. By
lunchtime he had stepped out with his
lawyer to go and celebrate over lunch
– he had won the case! He got back
his huge property and his wealth! He
was given another chance to make a
fresh beginninginhis lifeandcareer.
-Dr.Ali Khwaja, counselor
Deep in the
heart of every
m a n , i s a
longing for God
Himself. As the
psalmist puts it
so poetically,
“As the hind
longs for the running waters, So my
soul longs for you, O God. Athirst is
my soul for God, the living God.
When shall I go and behold the face
ofGod?
-Psalm 42:2,3
The psalmist recognizes that the
emptiness, the thirst that he
experiences, cannot be satisfied by
any worldly thing – no pleasure,
wealth or position could take the
place of the One who truly satisfies.
St. Augustine affirms this in his
famousprayer:
“You have made us for your
yourself, O Lord, And our hearts are
restlessuntiltheyrestinyou.”
So prayer is the place where we can
“rest in Him,” where we “behold the
face of God” – without words, in
silence and in stillness. It is there that
our emptinesswillbefilled.
But there is another thirst that is
quenched through prayer. In the
gospel of John, we read that Jesus
Christ, hanging in agony on the cross,
cried out, “I thirst.” This gospel
mentions only four short sentences
spoken by Jesus on the cross, and
each one is loaded with meaning.
Jesus was not talking about his
physical thirst, but of his thirst, his
passion foreveryhumansoul.
On September 10, 1946, when she
was just 36 years old, Mother Teresa
had a special revelation – the
experience of Jesus' thirst for love
and for souls. Forty-six years later,
she felt moved to share this
experience in a letter to her sisters in
theMissionariesof Charity:
“The time has come for me
….. to explain as fully as I can, what
the thirst of Jesus means for me.
Jesus is really wanting, waiting to tell
you – not only that He loves you, but
even more – He longs for you. He
misses you when you don't come
close. Hethirsts for you….”
“How can we last even one
day without hearing Jesus say, 'I love
you” – impossible! Our soul needs
that as much as the body needs to
breatheair. Ifnot,prayeris dead.”
Is it possible? That the King of the
Universe, the Maker of the Galaxies,
the Author of Life – thirsts for me?
Incredible, but true. I can satiate His
thirst through my loving presence in
His Loving Presence – face to face.
A n d p r a y e r c a n b e c o m e
“communion” – the quenching of
two thirsts.
-Tricia Lobo
PRAYER – A QUENCHING OF THIRSTS
7
8. Humans are proud creatures. And
what makes them so? Maybe it is
because many of them think they
can achieve almost everything that
theydesire.
Human beings are intelligent
creatures. They've explored the
moon and some other entities in
space and some scientists know
about things that are located fairly
deep below the surface of the earth.
All of these accomplishments have
been possible because of human
intelligence. But is our God-given
intelligence always used in the
rightway?
Once, a group of people travelling
together in a train were having a
discussion on what human beings
had become through what they
regarded as their leaving all the
beings of the animal kingdom
behind. Among them there was a
religious teacher who was doing
more talking than the others.
Toward the end of the discussion he
narrated a story to make his point
clear. The story was about a father
lion and his son. The father
instructed his son about how to
live. He said, “Son, you are the
future king of this forest. Do not be
afraid of any animals around you.
Be a good friend to them. But
please remember one thing: Do not
trytomeetwithhumanbeings.”
The young lion did not understand
why his father had forbidden him
frominteractingwithhumans.
Time passed, and the young lion
was happy with his various animal
friends in the forest, but he still
couldn't understand why he should
be away from humans. So, he
decided that he must find out about
this on his own. One day, he set out
around searching for human
beings. On his way, he spotted a
deer and asked him if he was
human. The deer, surprised and
scared, replied: “No! Be careful
with that! You better not search for
humans, or even talk about them!”
Sayingthisthedeerleft.
The disappointed lion cub
continued his quest. Next, he met a
hippo, and thought to himself,
“This being is big and seems very
authoritative. He must be a
human!” He approached the hippo
and asked him, “My friend, are you
a human being”? But this time,
too, the cub had to face
disappointment.
The cub didn't give up, though.
Moving further, he came across a
giraffe, and, then, an elephant, and
asked them the same question, and
o n b o t h o c c a s i o n s w a s
disappointed. But he was very
determined, and so he kept moving
ahead. When he was trotting along,
he heard a noise coming from
ahead. In a while he saw what the
matter was: There was a boy who
was cutting a branch off a tree. The
young lion didn't expect this sweet-
looking creature to be the human he
was searching for—because he
didn'tatalllookscary,quiteunlike
POSITIVE INTELLIGENCE
8
9. what his father had indicated
human beings were. But thinking
that there was nothing wrong in
asking him, he stood before him
and said: “Do you know where I
couldfindhumanbeings?”
The boy was surprised, and afraid
as well, but quickly calmed down.
After thinking for a moment, he
replied, “Yes! I know where they
live, but you have to help me before
I takeyouthere.”
“What a relief!” the young lion
thought to himself and cheerfully
agreed to help the boy. All he
needed to do was to stand below the
branch. The young lion did as he
was told while the boy continued
with sawing off the branch. In a
short while, the branch came
crashing down on the little lion!
The cub cried out in pain. He asked
the boy for help, but the boy
laughed. “You want to see humans?
I am one of them!” Saying this, the
boy ranoff.
The cub now realized why his
father had forbidden him from
comingincontactwithhumans.
This story was intended to support
the discussion on the subject of
human intelligence, which it very
much did. But the story gives rise to
yet another very important
question, that has to do with the
consequences of this intelligence.
What is the purpose of our
intelligence? How should we use
it? If we humans discover the
answer to this question and if we
use our God-given intelligence for
the good of others (including non -
human species and the natural
environment), many of our
problems in our society will be
solved.
(K.G. Pousonglung is presently
s t u d y i n g a t t h e H e n r y
Martyn Institute, Hyderabad,
a c e n t r e f o r i n t e r f a i t h
dialogue, understanding and
reconciliation).
-By K.G. Pousonglung
9
Let us always meet each other
with a smile, for the smile is
the beginning of love.
Mother Teresa
10. It never fails to astound me that a
person I met 2 days ago or
sometimes a week ago is no more
on this planet. It is really hard for
me to come to terms with this. Of
course, this is part of my spiritual
journey to perhaps learn that
nothing is permanent. Also, to
remind me that life is so short and it
is really all those tiny moments
which truly count. This was
demonstrated to me in December,
justamonthago.
I got reacquainted with Sharon
after several years, maybe a decade
at the least, but we took off from
where we left as if there was no
break at all. She was doing a
lot of interesting stuff in the
metaphysical space which is of
great interest to me. People may
call it NewAge but I call it trying to
understand things which may have
no rational explanation. So,
anyway, after one such meeting we
decided to have dinner together the
followingweek.
D-day dawned and as always I
suddenly had a couple of
unscheduled meetings and was
tempted to cancel my dinner
a p p o i n t m e n t w i t h h e r. I
really thought she would be
inconvenienced as I would be
delayed.
Sure enough, by early evening my
day seemed to be stretching longer
and longer when I received a
message from Sharon saying we
could postpone if it was not
convenient. Under normal
circumstances, I would have
grabbed the opportunity but,
somehow, I wanted this particular
meeting to happen. Although it
looked very difficult that I might
make it to dinner, I managed to tell
her let's postpone by 45 minutes,
butIwouldbethereforsure.
As it happened I was delayed by
another 15 minutes and fortunately
so was she, due to the evening
traffic. We spent a delightful 2
hours or so together chatting,
laughing a lot and talking about life
and all those things which you can
speak to very few people. Food,
chocolate, spiritual and personal
developmentamongstotherthings.
Little did I know then that it was the
last time I would be seeing her. I
even dropped her home and we
promised to meet each other in Jan.
Iwas goingabroadforavacation.
Exactly 2 weeks after my dinner
date with her, I got a message
from one of her friends that
'Sharon isno more'.
I was shell shocked. How could
this happen so suddenly? From a
mere mortal stand point do we
really understand His mysterious
ways, Iwondered.
But let me tell you a little about the
evening. She helped me with a
rather difficult personal challenge I
was goingthoughatthatpointof
LIFE 'S FLEETING MOMENTS
10
11. time. She helped me come to terms
with a couple of issues. She
followed it up with a WhatsApp
message as we were driving back,
so I have her last couple of
messages to me on my phone. I am
trulygratefultoher.
That day when I got the news of her
rather untimely demise I decided I
will let her go in peace, celebrate
her instead of mourning her. I know
she is in a better place and helping
humanity from wherever she is.
I am just in deep gratitude to Him
that I managed to spend those
couple of hours with her joyfully.
Just imagine if I had cancelled? I
had legitimate reasons to do so that
day,butHewantedmetomeether.
Life is fleeting, being present in the
moment is what really counts in the
long run. Don't postpone meeting
loved ones just because we are
caught up with our busy schedules.
Iamindeepgratitude.
-Kiran Bhat
11
A MEMORABLE BREAKFAST WITH SHASHI KAPOOR
In 1993, Torn Curtains, our
theatre group in Hyderabad, was
celebrating it’s Silver Jubilee. One
of our patrons was Jennifer Kapoor
and we had good fortune to have
Shashi Kapoor join us for breakfast
onemorning.
“So many memories of him and
Jennifer in the area we lived in back
in the day, my biggest and only
crush on a film star. He literally
gave up the will to live when
Jennifer passed on. A great body of
work with the Ismail Merchant -
James Ivory duo, films like The
Householder, Junoon, Kalyug, his
beloved Prithvi Theatre and the
talent he nurtured.... so much will
be written about him in the days to
come. I will always remember the
twinkle in his eye and his crooked
smile when he asked for bread,
butter and jam after demolishing a
superb traditional hyderabadi
Breakfast. I burst out laughing. He
said “I’m a creature of habit”. Was
there ever a charmer like him?
Likhe jo khat tujhe, Woh teri yaad
mein, Hazaron rang ke nazaare ban
gaye, Savera jab hua, toh phool ban
gaye, Jo raat ayee toh sitare ban
gaye.
R.I.P, you beautiful, wonderful star
who will always shine brightly for
me’
Niloufer Ebrahim
12. Another way to say that you are
grieving is that a part of you is stuck
inamomentintime.
Sometimes the cause of the
stuckness isn't the grief itself, but
the fact that you don't even
recognize that you've lost
something and that you need to
grieve.
G r i e f i s a w o r d t h a t i s
used interchangeably with
bereavement, but grief is not
exclusively about the physical
deathofaperson.
Grief doesn't fit in a box, either.
Some forms of grief take years to
work through, other types take a
few solid months, some take
a single moment of deep
acknowledgement.
Everyone grieves differently and
for different reasons, but one thing
remains constant in the process. It's
the one thing no one has ever said
aboutgrieving:
“Ididitrighton time.”
Grieving is marked by a lag, a
delay, a freezing, “Wait. What just
happened?”
Grieving is also not a linear
process.
One moment you feel you've fully
moved past something, the next
moment it's right back in front of
yourface.
That's because grief is insidious,
imposing and demands to be felt.
Even if you're able to somehow
avoid it all day long, grief comes
back to you in your sleep. It's laying
righton your heartasyou wakeup.
Grief doesn't say, “I've been here
long enough, I think it's time for me
toleave.”
No. Grief crowds the heart, eats up
all your energy and chronically
imposes upon your peace. But
grief isn't some evil force that's
only there to cause pain, grief is
escorting up an even deeper
feeling, a truth about your life, what
you value and what you need.
Perhaps how much you wanted
something, how deeply you care
about someone, how far you've
come from where you were. As
Mark Nepo so beautifully puts it,
"The pain was necessary to know
the truth, but we don't have to keep
the pain alive to keep the truth
alive." Still, grief isn't necessarily
a depression. People can be
grieving and heartbroken about
somethingandnotevenknow it.
12
THE ONE THING NO ONE EVER SAYS ABOUT GRIEVING
Understand, Recognize, Touch & Move
13. Here are some examples of events
thatcausegrieving:
Ÿ Abreakup
Ÿ The selling of your childhood
home
Ÿ What you always wanted but
nevergot
Ÿ Aperson who died
Ÿ A person who is still alive but is
electivelyabsentinyourlife
Ÿ Theloss ofadream
Ÿ Divorce
Ÿ Infertility
Ÿ Loving someone who is self-
destructive
Ÿ Theloss ofapet
Ÿ Theendofafriendship
Ÿ Job loss ortheendofacareer
The typical route for grieving
begins with denial, and that's
actuallyagood thing.
Ultimately, your defence
mechanisms are there to protect
you. Denial kicks in when it would
otherwise be too overwhelming to
feel it all at once. Ideally, denial
slowly fades away and the grief is
felt. (Ideally.) More typically, you
swallowyourgrief.
It comes up in small spurts when
you're not paying attention, then
you numb yourself to it somehow,
then it jumps up more forcefully,
then you numb yourself more
heavily.
That is the path of staying stuck in
grief. The path loops. People lose
themselveson thatpath.
Is thereabetterpath?
The answer is yes. But you don't
have to walk it unless you choose
to.
Some losses are so exquisitely
painful, in a way that no one else
could ever fully understand, that no
one would fault you for staying in
theloop.
If you do choose to get out of the
disorienting, dizzying loop of grief,
hereare4 ways tobegin:
1. UNDERSTAND - That your
heart is broken, even if it's not
visibletoothers.
Keep in mind that there's no 'right
way' to grieve and that grieving is
notalinearprocess.
Just because its been 6 months, 4
years, 15 years, whatever – none of
that means anything to your grief.
The clock starts when you begin to
recognize your grief. In other
words, when you genuinely begin
to address what happened (or
perhapswhatneverhappened).
2. RECOGNIZE - Before you can
grieve, you have to recognize that
you needtogrieve.
Something happened, or didn't
happen,thatburdenedyou.
Ironically, when you're burdened,
something is given to you and taken
away from you at the same time.
What do you feel was taken from
you? What do you feel you are
burdened with? The answers to
those questions help you recognize
whatyouneedtogrieve.
3. TOUCH - You have to touch the
loss (as well as all the anger,
sadness, bitterness, resilience,
compassion and any other feelings
you encounteredduringyourloss).
You're in touch with your grief
when you make space for the
feelingsyourloss broughtintoyour
13
14. 14
Most people take it for granted
that when they get up every morning
the sun will be shining, while they
robotically go for their phones, then
its breakfast, and finally get ready to
go about their daily chores. This is a
habit cultivated by many. I am not
sayingeverybody.
There have been instances when
people went to bed at night and never
lived to see the new dawn. They
wouldn't have had a clue that death
was lurking round the corner. I pray
this doesn't happen to anyone. Death
is not on everyone's mind, but it is
definitelyon thecards.Butwhen?
TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE TODAY
life. It may feel counter-intuitive to
go back to the feelings that you want
so desperately to let go of, but there's
simply no way to move through grief
without making contact with it,
without fully touching it, without
fullyfeelingit.
You have to pick it up, hold it, feel
the weight of it in your hands, on
your heart and within your life. You
have to feel the whole loss. Grief
demands to be felt with an insistence
that needs no sleep. You either allow
yourself to encounter the feelings or
you remain encased in a shell of
yourself under a misguided sense of
self-protection.
4. MOVE - The feeling of grief can
linger for so long that you almost
befriendthegrief.
The grief becomes oddly soothing in
its familiarity and its predictability.
Dealing with the grief means letting
go of this familiarity and moving
towards something less predictable
andlessfamiliar,whichisscary.
Still, if you want to genuinely
address the grief, you have to
continue to move through the
peripheral, familiar parts of your
grief and go right into the epicenter
of your grief. As the classic hero's
journey goes, you have to get inside
the belly of the whale.There (and
only there) you will find the door to
the unpredictable pieces of life that
are patiently waiting for you on the
othersideofyour pain.
So....
Understandyourheartis broken.
Recognizewhy it'sbroken.
Touchthegrief.
Move towards the epicenter of your
grief, as it's the only path to other
sideofyourpain.
Please remember, the grief you're
experiencing is yours, and you can
carry it with you for as long as you
like. Let go of it only when you feel
ready-enough, and if you never feel
ready, that's okay. If you do feel
ready to move through it, recruit
professional support here, or here, or
here. Navigating through grief is
unpredictable, dangerous terrain.
You don'thavetodoitalone.
-Katherine Schafler, NYC-based
psychotherapist, writer and
speaker.
15. 15
That is only known by The Man
above. People are too busy and
caught up with their worldly
activities. Its only when one reaches
a certain age, do they start thinking
and are wary about death, and that's
when many wish they had done
things differently. I am not referring
tothethosewithhealthissues.
What if I had to tell you that today is
the last day of your life on earth, and
tomorrow you will be at the pearly
gates awaiting your judgement.
There you will be handed the keys to
heaven or to hades depending on the
quality of the life you lived. What
would then be running through your
mind? Would your mind still be
flooded with the thoughts of your
favorite food, the house you plan to
build, the money in the bank, the
latest fashions, the exotic holiday, or
the world cruise that you hadbeen
planning?
All this will suddenly seem
worthless and useless to you.
Nothing will get your adrenalin
flowing as this would not be exciting
anymore. Such assets would never
give you satisfaction any longer.
Instead you would begin to think,
how do I right all the wrongs
committed by me. If you had lived a
life of secrecy and many wrong
doings, you are sure to be exposed
and would want to destroy any such
evidence. Yes, you would not want
the world to find out and remember
you as such a person. Regrets are
bound to surface and you would
wish that you were given a second
chance.
Its never too late for those who are
reading this. Remember the case of
The great Alfred Nobel, how a
premature obituary transformed his
life. You too can take this as an
opportunity and try and change.
Find out what you can do best to be a
different person and how to be an
asset to society. Your transformation
will help you to bea blessing to your
family, society and local
community.
Start today. Get up every morning
with a purpose in life. Reprogram
your life. It is all in your hands. Start
living the life you envision and
begin to think, live and act in a
productive and positive manner. In
this way you are setting out positive
vibrations and will attract positives
to you. Nature has a unique way to
bring about such a transformation.
The universe has its own way of
giving back what one gives to it. So
do not hold back. Recreate your life,
then go out and live it without any
regrets. Wake up every morning
with a resolution that you are
special, and you are here to make a
difference in your life, and the lives
of others. Remember once you are
gone you are just a memory, so better
letitbesweet.
- Quentin Fernandez
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Apowerful truth I wish I had learned a
coupleofyearsago.
“Regardless of how anyone treats you,
you stand to benefit. While some people
teach you who you do want to be, others
teach you who you don’t want to be.And
it’s the people who teach you who you
don’t want to be that provide some of the
most lasting and memorable lessons on
social graces, human dignity, and the
importanceofactingwithintegrity.”
-Kari Kampakis
Whenindoubt,choosetheheart
It means to trust your self to integrate
intuitionandexperience.
The more you practice listening to that
calm inner voice, intuition or gut
feeling, the more accurate and clear the
voicewillbecome
-Priti chawla
16
Compassion is not a virtue, it is a
commitment. It’s not something we have
or don’t have, it’s something we choose
topractice
-Old proverb