1 A Creative Journey Krystyna C. Laycraft1 Published in C. Pearson, S. Mann, & A. Zotti, Art Therapy 7 Creative Processes; A Practical Approach, Ann Arbor, London, Sydney: Loving Healing Press, pp. 67-80 The creativity is the actualization of potentiality, and the process of actualization is an occasion of experiencing. Alfred North Whitehead In my book, “The Courage to Decide”,2 I wrote about the transitions in my life between different value dimensions. Since my graduation from the Physics Department of the University of Warsaw, right into my forties, I lived in a world governed by systemic value dimension. My inner world was characterized by selfdirection, persistence, motivation, and commitment. I had long-range plans and my thinking was analytical. Most of my professional life was centered on creating mathematical models of complex physical phenomena. I was excited and satisfied with my work, but slowly beginning to feel that I needed something different in my 1 The Center for CHAOS Studies, P.O. Box 549, Nanton T0L 1R0, Alberta, Canada, www.krystyna-laycraft.com 2 Laycraft, K. C. (2015). The courage to decide. The philosophies on decision–making. Victoria: Canada. AwareNow Publishing. 2 life. A strange feeling of dissatisfaction began to creep when I started to feel like an insignificant element in a large, sterile system. I needed a change and became interested in a social world characterized by extrinsic values. I became involved in creating different schools and working on many educational projects. For more than a decade, I lived in this extrinsic value dimension. During that time, by interacting continuously with young people, I opened myself to others and learned how to accept and trust people without judgment. I also learned how to enjoy surprises. However, I began to feel exhausted and needed to gear down my professional life. Fortunately, a close friend of mine, Dr. Helen Diemert, invited me to series of her lectures on the fundamental arts. I accepted her offer with a great deal of gratitude and her lectures motivated me to start painting. By escaping to the Rocky Mountains each weekend and immersing myself in creative pursuits, I found the tranquility I was looking for. I fell in love with the process of being by myself in nature, deeply observing the beauty of mountains, streams, wild flowers, and golden rocks. I found these artistic trips very therapeutic and always returned home energized and fulfilled. 3 Fig. 1 My first paintings (1994/95) Slowly, I began shifting my interests from the external, social world into an internal one. I decided to pass on the running of the school to my family and move to my husband’s ranch. Fascination with Nature Living on my husband’s ranch, I found acceptance, joy, love, solitude, and creativity. During the first few months at the ranch, I was amazed by the beauty of the low hills, immense fields, twisted trees, fragile flowers, clear skies, and warm winds. I simply absorbed everything around me. Instead of seeing I was observing, instead of hearing I was listening, instead of feeling I was touching. I felt such strong surges of energy flowing through my body that I needed to express myself. I started writing poetry and painting nature. I loved surprises and was intuitively searching for the meaning, shape, form, and texture of my surroundings. I was looking for interesting associations of colors--such as golden bales of hay on green fields, silver clouds in navy blue skies, or colorful wild flowers in waving meadows. I felt great joy in painting these special objects of nature or writing poems about them. 4 “How to Paint Infinity” August 17, 2003 Sky, blue, gray, navy blue, Rich in gold clouds, Sun and moon. Falling stars, bringing hope for change. Reflected in standing water. How difficult it is to paint the universe! How to paint emptiness? How to paint infinity? “The Silence” September 15, 2003 Silence. Peace. I listen through the whole of my body. And what do I hear? The breath of a dog, The rustle of grass. And again a deep silence. When it’s that quiet My eyes get sharp. And what do I see? 5 Heavy, black, clouds on the horizon. Golden patches of The sun piercing through clouds. Golden fields and green hills, A straight path leading somewhere. Fig. 2 Pastes of skies, (2003/2004) Fig. 3 Acrylics of trees, (2003/2004) Concentration on Chaos Theory 6 That year, winter came early and I couldn’t go for walks or sketch outside, so I concentrated on preparing a series of lectures on Chaos Theory for artists, students, and the general public. At the same time, I started working on paintings that expressed the concepts of Chaos Theory using the mixed media techniques that I’d learned from Jeanne Krabbendam, an artist from Vancouver. I worked on this artistic project for almost two years and named it, “Journey Through Chaos Theory”. It became the solo exhibition at the Art Point Gallery in Calgary. I wrote in the artistic statement, “Over the past two years, I’ve opened myself up to a variety of experiences by visiting my native Poland, travelling to new places like New Zealand, Singapore, Greece, and Australia, and attending many scientific conferences. Some exhibitions, talks, and images caught my attention and became bifurcations3 of my creation. The dynamics of human life have their evolutionary trajectories and can be described by their attractors4. In my artistic work I’ve examined people’s actions, which usually draw towards the six chaotic attractors: freedom, love, pleasure, power, knowledge, and longevity.” 3 4 Bifurcation – a point of branching into new types of behavior Attractor- the characteristic behavior of a dynamic system 7 Fig. 4 Paintings of bifurcations: Triptych of Kantor, Strzemiński, Dali, (2004/2005) Fig. 5 Paintings of attractors of love, pleasure, power, and knowledge, (2004/2005) I hoped my lectures and paintings on Chaos Theory would help people understand themselves better. I taught them to be sensitive to nuances, to accept unpredictability, and to favor instability over equilibrium. Interest in Individuation Later, I concentrated on Jung’s concept of individuation. He defined individuation as the establishment of a right relationship between the ego---“who I 8 think I am”, and the Self---“all that I really am.” During the first half of our lives, we construct and maintain a persona-mask, which is nothing more than our adaptation to the conditions of social existence. The construction of a workable persona is a necessary part of human development and enables us to function effectively within society. It’s our titles, our functions, our duties, our roles, but not really us. We need a great deal of psychic energy to maintain this identity structure. Very often we become so rigid we forget to live fully and honestly. The main goal of individuation is to free our ego from its identification with persona and to immerse ourselves in the chaos of genuine living.5 I was so interested in the concept of persona that I decided to create a painting expressing it. For many days, I didn’t know how to do it. Finally I dreamt that I was hiding behind some large trees. This was the starting point for my painting. I painted myself behind those trees with a clothesline drawn between them. Along this line, I hung the discarded masks of myself from different periods of my life. This meant I didn’t need them anymore and it allowed me to immerse myself in the “chaos of genuine life.” 5 Jung, C.G. (1971). The portable Jung. Penguin Book. 9 Fig. 6 Persona, Mixed Media, (2005) Contemplation “I Ching” For the next few years, I immersed myself in contemplations on the “I Ching.” It is the greatest Chinese classic ever written and became the foundation of both the Taoist and Confucian philosophies. The “I Ching” delineates a system of archetypal symbols called hexagrams. Hexagrams depict every possible human situation as a sequence of continual transformations from chaos to order and again from order to chaos. For me, contemplating the “I Ching’s” sixty-four hexagrams was like going through an entire human life and experiencing a variety of life situations. These might include overcoming difficulties, breaking bad habits, experiencing meditative states, making decisions, experiencing powerful emotions, and being creative. To 10 acquire a better understanding of hexagrams, I created sixty-four collages and applied to them some of my own nature photographs taken while journeying through many different countries. 11 Fig. 7 Twelve examples of collages of hexagrams: #1. Creative, #14 Inner Wealth, #16 Enthusiasm, #22 Grace, #23 Splitting Apart, #26 Major Restraint, #43 Breakthrough, #34 Great Strength, #13 Fellowship, #33 Retreat, #40 Liberation, #17 Following, (2008/2009) Fascination with the Theory of Positive Disintegration Next, by studying the psychological theories of Rogers, Maslow, Piaget, and others, I tried to understand the role of creativity in psychological development. Finally I found Dąbrowski’s, Theory of Positive Disintegration, which gave me insights into the secrets of creativity with respect to psychological growth. I was fascinated with his theory and surprised with its similarity to some of the key ideas of Complexity Science. Dąbrowski stressed the importance of “emotional 12 turbulence” in the process of transition from the lower to higher levels of mental life, which complies with the idea of dynamic systems theory where chaos (variability, instability, and unpredictability), is an inherent part of development. Dąbrowski’s theory leads to the understanding of creative people and their inner psychological conflicts. Creative people display symptoms of increased psychic excitability, nervousness, and psychoneuroses. On the one hand, increased psychic excitability is one of the basic causes of inner tension and conflicts within oneself and one’s environment. On the other hand, this increased excitability creates a condition for a broader, deeper, and more complex pattern of experiences. Nervousness and psychoneurotic symptoms are necessary forms of human growth and are signs of the beginning of an advancing process of positive transformations.6 While studying Dąbrowski’s theory, I created collages expressing the five levels of positive disintegration: (1) primary integration, (2) unilevel disintegration, (3) spontaneous multilevel disintegration, (4) organized multilevel disintegration, and (5) secondary integration.7 In these collages, I applied fragments of Polish paintings such as those created by Zdzisław Beksiński, Jerzy Duda Gracz, Wojciech Weiss, and Jacek Malczewski. I spent a lot of time searching for images that accurately expressed the emotions and behaviors of people on these levels of positive disintegration and, to my surprise, I found them in the paintings of these artists. 6 Dabrowski, K. (1972). Psychoneurosis is not an illness. London: Gryf Publications Ltd. 7 Dabrowski, K. (1996). Multilevelness of emotional and instinctive functions. Lublin: Towarzystwo Naukowe Katolickiego Universytetu Lubelskiego. 13 Fig. 8 Collages of the five levels of positive disintegration, (2012). 14 Studying the Creativity of Young People I continuously asked myself why I felt so great when I was painting, arranging collages, or taking photographs. Why did these creative activities give me so much energy? Why am I constantly attracted to new artistic projects? Finally, with all my knowledge and experience, I decided to write my doctoral thesis on the development of creativity in young people. Creativity is a complex phenomenon, and understanding it requires analysis from many different perspectives. Applying Ken Wilber’s integral theory8, creativity can be studied from four major perspectives---the subjective (intentional), intersubjective (cultural), objective (behavioral), and inter-objective (social). My creative pursuits helped me complete this intellectually demanding project. During my theoretical research on creativity, I created four collages expressing the four perspectives of creativity and ten collages expressing the characteristics of the participants in my study. By selecting and combining a variety of images for my collages, I had time to think, analyze, and deeply understand the creativity and psychological development of young people. 8 Wilber, K (2008). The integral vision. Boston, MA: Shambhala 15 Fig. 9 Collages – Four Perspectives of Studying Creativity (2012) 16 Fig. 10 Collages representing the six participants of my study: Stephanie--The Scuba Diver, Krista Jennings--The Contortionist, Eton--The Spiritual Artist, Jade--The Art Teacher, and Alasdair MacEwan--The Young Composer (2012) I especially enjoyed creating a collage on cultural perspectives. Because I was born and educated in Poland, most of the images I chose for this collage were from paintings and sculptures of my favorite artists—the ones who had influenced me during my adolescence. At that time, I was fascinated with the art and philosophy of Witkacy (Stanisław Ignacy Witkiewicz). When I was working on this collage, my memories took me back to the time at university when we had discussed Witkacy’s ideas. Witkacy claimed that art is an expression of “metaphysical feelings.” For him, metaphysical feelings were the most important of all human experiences. Witkacy had been deeply pessimistic that mechanical changes in social development might detract from metaphysical feelings and cause the obliteration of individual creativity.9 In some symbolic way, in order to assure him that we still experience “metaphysical feelings” and that individual creativity did not disappear, I honored him by creating this collage. In this collage, I included his famous statement, “Art is an escape, the most noble of narcotics capable of conveying us to different worlds without adverse effects on our health and intelligence…Art which by condensing our 9 Micińska A. (1990). Stanislaw Ignacy Witkiewicz Life and Work. (Translated by Bogna Piotrowska). Warsaw: Interpress Publishers, pp. 163-164 17 feeling of unity and uniqueness of personality, carries us into the state of specific intoxication with the mystery of Existence.” 10 Fig. 11 Collage of Culture Perspective of Creativity, (2012) My study shows that creativity has many functions in the lives of young people: 11 10 Ibid. p. 198. Laycraft, K. (2012). The development of creativity: A study of creative adolescents and young adults. Doctoral dissertation, University of Calgary, http://theses.ucalgary.ca/handle/11023/166. 11 Laycraft, K.C. (2013). Creativity as an order through emotions. A study of creative adolescents and young adults. (First edition). Victoria, BC: AwareNow Publishing. Laycraft, K.C. (2014). Toward the pattern models of creativity: Chaos, complexity, creativity. In Don Ambrose, Bharath Sriraman and Kathleen M. Pierce (Eds.), A critique of creativity and complexity (pp.269-290). Rotterdam, Boston, Taipei: Sense Publishers. 18 1. Creativity becomes a way to escape from unfriendly or brutal environments. 2. Creativity becomes an outlet for internal tensions and conflicts. 3. Creativity promotes conditions that are optimal for the prevention of serious mental disorders. 4. Creativity allows them to learn about themselves and connects them to something meaningful. 5. Creativity introduces purposes and values in their lives. 6. Creativity empowers them to make life choices that bring joy, satisfaction, and fulfillment. 7. Creativity helps adolescents find their future goals and plans. 8. Creativity helps young people develop cognitively, emotionally, and spiritually. 9. Creativity promotes the growth of resourcefulness, optimism, confidence, and pride. 10. Creativity reinforces sensitivity, not only to human issues but also often to wider problems of the natural world. Writing Books After finishing my graduate studies and defending the doctoral dissertation, I became fascinated with language and wanted to express myself by writing. I knew it would be a very challenging task because English is not my first language. But I tried, and in few months I wrote my first book, “Creativity as an Order through 19 Emotions.”12 In this book, I included a conceptual model of the creativity of young people using the metaphor of a growing tree. Fig. 12 A conceptual model of the creativity of young people At the bottom of this model sits horizontal creativity, which emerges during late childhood and early adolescence. Metaphorically, it is the seed of the tree. It is the beginning of all creative potentiality. Young individuals are searching for new and unknown experiences, which are linked to the emotions of joy, interest, surprise, and curiosity. But their creativity is often impulsive, spontaneous, and superficial. It 12 Laycraft, K.C. (2013). Creativity as an order through emotions. Victoria, BC, Canada: AwareNow Publishing Company. 20 is characterized by indecision, doubt, and hesitation. Young people oscillate between different interests. During this time, young individuals are highly sensitive to the values, opinions, and expectations of their parents, teachers, and peers. External influences such as those that are supportive, encouraging, accepting, as well as that are challenging, stimulating, and inspiring, play a decisive role in transitioning them to higher levels of creativity. The next level is vertical creativity. It can be compared to the stem of a young tree, which pushes the growth of the tree vertically. This period is characterized by endless experimentation and psychological “awakenings.” Young individuals open themselves up to new experiences. They become critical observers of their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Through creative activities, they learn about themselves and then connect to something that is meaningful to them. The inner openness enhances their ability to open to others. Young individuals generally want to share their creative products with others. The transition from vertical creativity to integral creativity requires further intellectual and emotional growth. Integral creativity can be likened to the crown of a young tree. It is characterized by openness to the external world, sensitivity to others and developing relationships of love and friendship. Integral creativity is connected with the global process of identity formation and it helps young people integrate their ideas, beliefs, and values into more complex systems. They become the creators of their own and unique reality. 21 When I’d finished writing this book, I sent publishing requests to eight Canadian companies and, to my enormous delight; I soon got a positive response. Rick Mickelson, the editor and publisher of AwareNow Publishing, in Victoria, BC, Canada, accepted my book. Thanks to his persistent work, the book was completed and ready for printing in just four months. Because of his continuous encouragement and support, I have written three more books, “Feeling Life,”13 “A Journey Through the Lands of Feelings,”14 and “The Courage to Decide.”15 Fig. 13 My books, (2012-2015) In the book, “Feeling Life,” I included stories from my adult life, which emerged through reflective meditations on my actions, choices, and decisions. I discovered a richness of emotions had been experienced during significant events in my life. 13 Laycraft, K.C. (2014). Feeling life. Patterns of emotions. Victoria, BC, Canada: AwareNow Publishing Company 14 Laycraft, K.C. (2014). A journey through the lands of feelings. Victoria, BC, Canada: AwareNow Publishing Company 15 Laycraft, K.C. (2015). The courage to decide. The Philosophies on decision-making. Victoria, BC.Canada: AwareNow Publishing Company. 22 In the book, “The Courage to Decide,” I continued examining my life through the ideas of many philosophers. This process gave me a much better understanding of the decision-making process and its importance in our lives. By making decisions, we trace the path of our lives, direct our psychological development, and define the kind of person we become. In my book for children, “A Journey through the Lands of Feelings,” I integrated my love for children, passion for telling stories, and enjoyment of creating art, with my imagination, knowledge, and understanding of emotions. This book helps children identify and understand their emotions. Fig. 14 Illustrations for “A Journey through the Lands of Feelings” (2014) 23 Conclusion As you can see from this creative journey, creativity plays many different roles in my life. First, creativity became an outlet for my anxiety and gave me the boost of energy I needed to run a school. Later, my fascination with the natural world prompted me to paint and write poetry. I was trying to capture the meaningful moments and was thoroughly enjoying what I did. The more involved I became in these creative processes, the more satisfied and fulfilled I was. Finally, creativity became an expression of my images, memories, and experiences. This was a challenging process because I was attempting to express abstract concepts through the medium of art. However, by contemplating, reflecting, and concentrating, I was able to get in touch with my deepest thoughts and feelings. My creativity was then intertwined with the powerful emotions of interest, joy, surprise, love, curiosity, fascination, and hope. Those emotions were the energy that stimulated, organized, and then integrated my thinking and imagination into new understandings. I can say without any hesitation, that creativity continues to shape and guide my life. It allows me to learn about myself and others, to connect to meaningful activities, and to understand the true purpose of my life. My creativity is not fading with age, but rather, it is deepening and expanding into psychology, philosophy, spirituality, and neuroscience. It inspires me to play with new artistic techniques and new ways of expressing myself. 24 I cannot predict how far, and in what direction, my creativity will take me next. All I know is the joy and love I experience in pursuing this creative journey. Krystyna C. Laycraft, Lorell Ranch, June 2015