Children's Friendships

An in-depth look at the social and emotional skills children need to become capable and caring people. Chapters include: Tempering Perfectionism; Building Connection; Finding Joy.

“A literal Godsend. Parents will find great wisdom in its pages.”
— Stephen R. Covey, author, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

“The ultimate touchstone of friendship is not improvement, neither of the other nor of the self, the ultimate touchstone is witness, the privilege of having been seen by someone and the equal privilege of being granted the sight of the essence of another, to have walked with them and to have believed in them, and sometimes just to have accompanied them for however brief a span, on a journey impossible to accomplish alone.”

- David Whyte

This paper reports an exploratory study of 37 children (aged 4–5 years) throughout their first term of formal schooling. Children in two different schools were included in the study. Four pairs of friends and four isolated children were targeted for in‐depth observation every week throughout the term. The behaviour and speech of these 12 children were coded systematically in
various activities and settings to assess their level of social involvement and their adjustment to school. Sociometric interviews were carried out with all 37 children. These were used to examine the pattern of social relationships in the two classes and to investigate Children's understanding of concepts such as ‘friendship’. The target children also took part in a communication game with other children from their classes, matched in age and verbal ability, but who were not friends. It was predicted that children who started school in the company of a friend or friends would have better developed social and communicative skills than children who began school without the support of existing friendships. As predicted, children who had well established friendships on entry to school gave more sophisticated reasons as to why children liked and disliked each other. These children were also more effective communicators than the isolated children. The results suggest that friendship not only plays an important part in developing young Children's social competencies, but also that it influences children'sperformance on a range of classroom‐based learning activities, particularly those which involve mutual collaboration and co‐operation.

This edited collection explores children's social relationships in and out of the classroom. Chapters focus on the growing importance of children's friendships and how these influence social participation and development later on in life. Issues such as peer rejection, bullying and adolescent development are analysed from both psychological and sociological perspectives. The book concludes with a re-examination of cultural concepts of childhood, child development and the nature of children's autonomy.