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    Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock
    Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock
    Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock
    Audiobook6 hours

    Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock

    Written by Matthew Quick

    Narrated by Noah Galvin

    4/5

    ()

    About this audiobook

    In addition to the P-38, there are four gifts, one for each of my friends. I want to say good-bye to them properly. I want to give them each something to remember me by. To let them know I really cared about them and I'm sorry I couldn't be more than I was--that I couldn't stick around--and that what's going to happen today isn't their fault.
    Today is Leonard Peacock's birthday. It is also the day he hides a gun in his backpack. Because today is the day he will kill his former best friend, and then himself, with his grandfather's P-38 pistol.
    But first he must say good-bye to the four people who matter most to him: his Humphrey Bogart--obsessed next-door neighbor, Walt; his classmate Baback, a violin virtuoso; Lauren, the Christian homeschooler he has a crush on; and Herr Silverman, who teaches the high school's class on the Holocaust. Speaking to each in turn, Leonard slowly reveals his secrets as the hours tick by and the moment of truth approaches.
    In this riveting book, acclaimed author Matthew Quick unflinchingly examines the impossible choices that must be made--and the light in us all that never goes out.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherHachette Audio
    Release dateAug 13, 2013
    ISBN9781478979777
    Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock
    Author

    Matthew Quick

    Matthew Quick is the author of The Silver Linings Playbook, which was made into an Academy Award-winning film, and the young adult novels Sorta Like a Rock Star, Boy21 and Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock. His work has been translated into more than twenty languages and has received a PEN/Hemingway Award Honorable Mention, among other accolades. He is married to the novelist and pianist Alicia Bessette.

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    Reviews for Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock

    4/5

    361 ratings47 reviews

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    • 4/5
      This was a compulsive read. A troubled teen finds his way out of sexual abuse, bullying and neglect. Despite the rough subject matter there were some laugh out loud moments.
    • 3/5
      Ending feels rushed and unsatisfying; it would have been a four star book if there was a more considered conclusion because it was very well done otherwise.
    • 4/5
      There are so many issues in this for the characters to deal with. Bad parenting, abuse, bullying, depression, suicide, and more.

      I only wish that everyone had someone in their life like Herr Silverman. Someone who cares. It definitely made me want to pay attention to how I treat people, even those I may pass casually on the street. It may be the only positive interaction they have that day. And I would love to share this book and that part of the message with others, but the language in the book will keep it from being read by the majority of people in my community.
    • 5/5
      Wow! That's the one word I'd use to describe this book. It was intensely emotional. I think I cried for half the book and not because it was sad and bad things were happening but because Quick was tugging at every single heartstring I have. I felt for Leonard and was dying to know what it was that drove him to make the decisions that he had made. Noah Galvin's narration was spot on. I absolutely loved this book.
    • 5/5
      Trigger warning for rape, sexual assault, suicide, depression, and gun violence.

      "You're different. And I'm different too. Different is good. But different is hard. Believe me, I know."
      I am stunned by how good this is. I don't often read contemporary, but when I do, I try to read books with an important message, not something short and fluffy.

      While short, there's definitely nothing fluffy about this.

      I was basically sobbing the entire time. I've seriously never cried so much reading a book in my entire life, except for maybe They Cage The Animals At Night, which I read in the 7th grade and still cry about whenever I think of it. Honestly, I think this book should replace The Catcher in the Rye as a school required read, because it is so much deeper, more succinct, and far more emotional with a more profound message. Also, since I'm comparing, it reminded me a lot of The Perks of Being a Wallflower, though I have to admit I enjoyed this more.

      Leonard Peacock is a startlingly complex and flawed person, suffering deeply and seemingly totally alone in his life. The few good people and things he has, or had, have either proven false or go unappreciated because of the thick cloud of misery under which he lives. Of those good people, I was particularly fond of Walt, his elderly neighbor, and Herr Silverman, his teacher. Unfortunately, the bad people—his mother, his old best friend Asher, and the countless blank faces who think more of themselves than of others—make him blind to the necessary love he already has.

      This is a story of fear and sadness, of the conclusions scared kids make when they think they're out of options, but it's also a story of the hope of humanity, the beauty and potential of human decency. It's a story that hits close to home.

      I particularly loved the complex view of people in this; of the bigoted views Walt has, of the unchanging narcissism of his mother, of Leonard himself, and the horrible act he plans to commit. Nothing is black or white. Nothing is wholly good or wholly bad. And I really appreciated that.

      The "letters from the future" chapters were extremely well done, placed exactly where they needed to be, and added a great deal of hope for the future, as well as a melancholy view into Leonard's psyche at the time when he wrote them. I remember doing similar exercizes in my high school classes, not really seeing the point of them then. I think I see the point of them now.

      I found the writing style to be quite unique, and paired with the excellent audiobook I listened to, Leonard's stream of consciousness voice was fantastically told, giving a very personal story a very personal feel.

      There's nothing else I can really say other than wow. I cannot recommend enough.
    • 3/5
      A suicidal teenager writes letters from his future self and reaches out to his neighbor and teacher for help. Don't read this when you're feeling down.
    • 5/5
      This one came out of left field and hit me right in the gut. Great library book sale find.

      I found this book at the library's used book sale. Honestly, I had put it on the shelf and forgot about it, but when it was time to pick out another book to read, it grabbed my attention. Funny how books will do that. I recognized the author, Matthew Quick, and remembered that was mainly why I picked it up at the book sale.

      So, it became my next read.

      I binged this book (as much as I can with a toddler constantly needing my attention). I had trouble putting it down and there were some really interesting aspects to it.

      One thing I loved was the letters from the future. There are 4 letters from Leonard's future placed throughout the main story of Leonard and his life as a high school student. These added a completely different feeling to it and I was a little confused at first where it was going, but in the end it all fell into place.

      I also became invested in Leonard. I wanted to know what happened to him, where he was going to go, and would he be okay. It was hard not to wonder about Leonard seeing as the entire novel is through his perspective (aside from te letters from the future).

      This hit me in the gut a little more than I expected it to. It made me cry, had me flipping pages to find out what happens next, and then breathing a sigh of relief at the just right amount of closure.

      Now, I've read (like I usually do) other reviews of this one. There are a lot of people who think the ending wasn't good enough or that it wasn't realistic. I agree. Leonard, in real life, would need more help. He would need counseling, at the bare minimum, and constant supervision. One does not simply go from suicidal to perfectly fine overnight. BUT, I don't think this was meant to be realistic like that. I took the ending as being a sign of hope. I sign that while Leonard went through some tough times, has a difficult life at home, and has experienced trauma, with help from those around him that care for his well-being and future, like his teacher and neighbor, he can make it through it all.

      If Quick wanted it to be realistic in the sense of what would happen to a young adult today in Leonard's situation, I think he would have taken it a different route. I also don't think it would have worked out as well, but I'm only speculating.

      I appreciated the ending. It was a sigh of relief and a moment of exhalation, so to speak. I know Leonard is far from okay, but I feel like the story had enough closure to lead me to belief he was heading in the right direction. It couldn't have ended better the more I think about it and it's really why I ended up giving it the coveted 5 stars, because I would read this again and I would probably get more out of it the second time around.

      Another pro of the book, some great quotes to take away! Here are some of my faves:
      You're different. And I'm different too. Different is good. But different is hard. Believe me, I know.

      Not letting the world destroy you. That's a daily battle.

      DO ANYTHING! SOMETHINE! Because you start a revolution one decision at a time, with every breath you take.
      I had more, but I forgot to write them down. :(
    • 4/5
      Says a review at the back of my copy: “This is an important book.”

      It really is. Read it.

      I've read a lot of books about depressed, suicidal protagonists, because at first I was intrigued. Then it became some sort of initiative so I could better understand them. What would I do if I had a depressed, suicidal friend? I don't know for sure. I might say the wrong things. "It's going to be okay" and all that is never going to be enough.

      Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock is another insight. I actually like Leo, because he has this sick sense of humor and sarcasm that I get. And the Letters from the Future were something. I might give it a try for fun.

      The ending was kind of dry, though. I don't know if Leo's ever going to be okay, but at least he's okay for that day. Though now that I think about it, I guess that's how everyone else deals with life, don't they? One day at a time? So maybe he's going to be all right, after all.

      I hope he will be.
      And everyone else who is going through what Leo went through on his birthday.

      If FMLP taught me anything, it's this: talk, and be sincere about it. If you know or meet some person who has this sad look in his/her eyes, prefers people watching and one day gives out gifts and asks dangerous yet seemingly rhetorical questions but hints some truth in them, talk to them. Get them out of their shells. Try to know their stories. Because maybe, just maybe, that's what they need to go on. Someone who listens and understands will be their savior.

      (You can see that I'm really emotionally invested in this book. It just got me.)

      Happy holidays! :-)
    • 4/5
      The book is dark, and I didn't care so much for the ending and the way it left everything so unsatisfied, but still, this is one I couldn't stop listening to. The way Leonard Peacock's story slowly unfolds, as he gradually drops hints to both the reader and the people around him, is inescapably compelling. There are certain elements that began to feel a little tired, such as lines that repeated themselves many times, but still, I couldn't help but relate to the character as more and more info was revealed about why he was so angry and so ready to die. The only real downside is that I was hoping for some real closure to the story, and there really wasn't any to be found here.
    • 3/5
      I was heading towards a 4* rating but I hated the ending. After bringing the reader to the brink of a difficult issue, the author sidesteps to avoid dealing with it in any meaningful way.

      Noah Galvin does a good job narrating this young adult novel.
    • 1/5
      i read almost 50% of it, but i gave up. it was so boring i was suffering
    • 3/5
      This book has been in my Netgalley que for a long time, and it was one of those books that I really wanted to read but every time I tried to I couldn't get into it. I finally finished it after getting the audiobook version from my local library and so here, finally, is my review.

      Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock is a book about a teen who is about to commit suicide. It is his birthday and no one remembers or knows and that is really the least of his troubles. Leonard Peacock is an outcast who decides that he is going to do it right - say goodbye to the important people in his life, kill a kid that made him miserable, and then take his own life. So this is his day, the lead up.

      Overall this was an emotional book, there were a lot of triggers in it and the main character, Leonard, is not ok. I think that the reason that I had so much trouble getting into a groove with this book was because I knew the ending going into it - I read a review that didn't have a spoiler notice and sadly I knew the outcome as I was reading it... I just needed the pieces while reading and I felt like I could predict them the whole time so I found it hard to get invested in the book.

      The book is very well done, it was an emotional rollercoaster of laughing and crying and surprise. I think that it is a great contemporary read, if not for the tale at the very least so younger audiences learn the signs of someone in this situation. I found it to be a good book and I liked it, but since it was spoiled I was missing some of the elements first readers got. If you are looking for an emotional book, or one about psychology, this book fits that bill.
    • 3/5
      Uberpredictable.
    • 4/5
      I loved the themes in this story and felt like the author portrayed the issues of depression and suicide very well.

      The writing style completely pulled me in and embodied the anger and wild emotions that all the characters felt.

      I am kind of iffy about the ending though, which is why I gave this four stars.
    • 4/5
      Matthew Quick knows how to hit me in the feels!
    • 5/5
      I don't often read a book in one sitting without stopping, but this was just one of those books. I was hooked from the very first pages and had to read the entire thing like I needed air for breathing, always wondering - was he going to do it?

      From the outset, it is clear that Leonard Peacock is a troubled kid. He has no idea where his father is (having apparently fled the country to avoid facing the IRS) and his mother is the epitome of a neglectful parent - she lives in another state, pursuing her own career, and leaves her seventeen year old son to fend for himself. It's Leonard's eighteenth birthday when the book starts, which no one seems to know or remember except for himself, and he's giving out five presents. Four are to people who are significant to him, culminating with the fifth present - a wrapped gun, which he will use to murder his former best friend, Asher, followed by his own suicide.

      I absolutely loved this book. I really identified with Leonard - not that I have ever gotten to the point where I seriously considered homicide, but his pain and confusion and depression. Leonard doesn't reveal why he's so determined to kill Asher until towards the end, when the reader discovers that Asher raped Leonard repeatedly when they were younger. Leonard's mother apparently walked in on them once, but dismissed it as Leonard being gay and that he and Asher were fooling around. He tried to tell her what happened, but she didn't take him seriously. It's not like she really listened to him about anything anyway.

      Ultimately, Leonard can't do it. He does try to kill himself, but the gun's trigger won't pull, even though he tries multiple times. He then reaches out to his favorite teacher, who ends up saving his life and giving him more than a little hope.

      The "end" isn't tied up nicely in a neat bow. Leonard's mom is still a horrible mother, and we don't know if he goes to college or finds people that will be better for him. But he does write a letter from the future (an exercise his favorite teacher suggested), which shows that he is indeed thinking about the future and has some hope that things will improve for him at some point. I liked the ending, although I suppose some might not because it is left deliberately vague. To me, it means that Leonard still holds out hope and is determined to go on with his life.

      Definitely recommended.
    • 5/5
      In Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock by Matthew Quick, it is Leonard Peacock's 18th birthday, although no one is acknowledging or celebrating this fact with him. Leonard is an unique young man, intelligent but a complete misfit who doesn't seem to fit in anywhere. Feeling completely disenfranchised and no longer able to cope with a destructive event he is keeping secret, he's planning to kill Asher Beal, a former friend, and then himself. Before he can do this, however, he has gifts he wants to give to four people in his life. The first thing he does is cut his long hair all off and wrap it up as a gift for his mother to find. Then he wraps the four other gifts he is planning to give, as well as his gun, and heads out.

      Some of Leonard's thought processes are as scrambled and fragmented as you would expect in a suicidal young man who is suffering from depression and so full of hopelessness that he has decided upon this course of action - murder and suicide. But, his keen insight into others and their actions around him almost belie the seriousness of his intent. All his actions are a cry for help that very few people are realizing. Quick does an amazing job following Leonard's thoughts, as doubts slip in, as his mind seeks an escape hatch if only someone would do or say... something.

      At time heart wrenching, Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock also highlights the emotional pain many teens who are outsiders and different feel and experience at the hands of their peers. Leonard is in some ways strong enough to stand up to a bully. He's articulate and can voice his opinions and thoughts. He's actually a brilliant young man who could have a promising future, but the hopelessness he feels threatens to overwhelm him
      There are footnotes throughout the story. Oddly, since they were at the end of the book in my review copy for the Kindle, I didn't read then until after I had read the book. They told parts of the story that I didn't know until later because I didn't read them right away. I'm not sure if reading them ahead of time would have influenced my reaction to Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock. I found this to be an incredibly novel with a huge emotional impact.

      Leonard is a well-developed character and you will understand why he is giving gifts to these specific four people in his life. Generally I'm not a reader of YA fiction, but I found Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock to be quite a compelling novel with a huge emotional impact. Certainly it would be for older teens.

      Very Highly Recommended

      Disclosure: My Kindle edition was courtesy of Little, Brown Books via Netgalley for review purposes.

    • 5/5
      Today is Leonard Peacock's birthday. He is going to kill his former best friend and himself. This is a hard-hitting, first-person account of a desperate young man in a desperate situation. How he works it out and survives (yes, he lives another day) is compelling reading. Mature.
    • 4/5
      This was the first book I've read in a day (a sitting, actually), in a very long time. Once I started reading Leonard's story, I couldn't stop. The grip of the story, though, was about more than sympathizing with Leonard. I did of course, more and more as the story went on. The novel was also chilling, though, in the reminders that as Leonard is dealing with this intense internal struggle, and planning this horrific murder-suicide, NO ONE AROUND HIM HAS ANY IDEA. Yes, on the day he decides to end his life, there are people who notice, and who ask questions. But, as Leonard himself points out, no one knows that he has a weapon at his disposal at that very moment. Especially in light of the real-life school shootings that seem to happen on a regular basis in our current society, Leonard at once gives us insight into a troubled mind, while also serving as a terrifying reminder that we never really know what may be happening to those around us.

      And that last point, I think, is at the heart of Leonard Peacock's story. All he wants is to feel like someone cares. He's surrounded by people, and yet feels completely alone. On his 18th birthday, he doesn't even have one person who remembers and is there to which him a happy birthday. Everyone else is wrapped up in their own stories, and their own perspectives, that even when they see that there is something wrong with Leonard, they can't pull away from their own troubles enough to help him, with the exception of Herr Silverman. I found myself more than once while reading thinking about how far a little compassion can go. When Leonard did try to reach out, he was met with suspicion and even hostility from others, which only isolated him further from them. In contrast, we also saw Herr Silverman's attempt to reach out to each of his students, something that really matters to Leonard--and ultimately ends up saving him.

      In the end, I think this story gives the reader a lot to think about, and is one of the most human and real stories I've read in a while. Leonard really felt like a real person, and so did those around him. No one was perfect, and no one was truly evil (though an argument can be made that his mother is fairly irredeemable by the end...). There were many shades of gray, and a reminder that life isn't always easy--sometimes it's really, really terrible--but it's also what we make of it. It's about how hard we're willing to try to make it the life we WANT to have, even if we're not there yet. It's about not giving up before the journey starts.
    • 5/5
      One of the best, most intense books I have ever listened to. Very tight, realistic story (well, except for the mother), that makes you not want to turn it off. I also thought the narrator, Noah Galvin, was perfect.
    • 5/5
      This is Quick's best novel yet, a brilliantly written and completely riveting story that's sad and tragic but also filled with wonderful doses of humor. Destined to become a young adult classic.
    • 4/5
      So many feels!

      This book is about a boy named, you guessed it, Leonard Peacock. He plans to commit an act of murder/suicide. His target: a classmate at his school. Now, I don’t want to give away anything so I won’t go into very much detail about why he has picked this specific target. I will say, however, that this target is a bully to Leonard and he does absolutely horrible things to him. They do have a history and the book goes into so much more detail about things that have occurred between thees two boys.

      This book pulled at my heartstrings. I am fascinated by psychology so this book spoke volumes to me. So many people suffer from depression and other mental illnesses. Their friends and families are not even aware of it most of the time. For example, Leonard’s mom seems to be oblivious to the fact that her son is crying for help. This would also be a good time to point out that I absolutely cannot stand Leonard’s mom. Her character is just someone who is very easy to loathe. Her blatant disregard for her own son is appalling on so many different levels. Her characteristics are a prime example of why teenagers feel like no one understands them. I know that when I was growing up, a lot of times I felt like my parents just didn’t get it, but I was (thankfully) never brushed off as an annoyance like Leonard was by his mother.

      I believe that this book could and probably has been really helpful to teenagers struggling with depression and thoughts of suicide. There are, what I would consider to be, “triggers” throughout the book, so please keep that in mind. But the book does offer some examples of exercises that could be done to bring yourself through the pain and struggles of depression.

      With that being said, I highly recommend this book. To anyone. Because let’s be honest, even if you aren’t suffering from depression yourself, I can guarantee that someone you know is. And the friends that Leonard did have seemed to pick up on it. If anything, this book will give you a little insight into what to look for when it comes to someone who is suffering from depression and may be planning to commit suicide. Make yourself aware, because that awareness could save a life.
    • 3/5
      Why did it end that way?
    • 4/5
      Searching for hope and for justification that life is worth living, Leonard Peacock spends his 18th birthday desolate and angry. Harmed by a previous friend, he plans to kill himself and the person who hurt him greatly.

      Leonard's life consists of a self absorbed mother, a long gone father who is consumed with alcohol and gambling, a teacher who teaches about the Holocaust, and an elderly neighbor who watches black and white older movies with Leonard.

      Leonard tells his story and, at times I was drawn to him and repelled by him. But always, I pitted him.

      Leonard has a choice; he can choose to embrace the two people who care about him, or to end it all while focusing on the two who neglected and hurt him.

      This is a book well worth the time spent reading!
    • 4/5
      I loved Leonard Peacock and his story. This is a touching story of teen anguish. Of coming to grips with the brutality and unfairness of life. Of the people who influence us. And of hope...
    • 3/5
      A self-absorbed mother and a father with alcohol and gambling problems, supports the argument that some people aren't suited to be parents. Leonard is an only child and doesn't have many other support people he can count on. He is an angry young man, a loner, but it wasn't always like this. His teenage years have resulted in a downward spiral that cements his desire to end his life and take someone else out too is set on his eighteenth birthday. Leonard doesn't fit in with his peers and being different is not easy. On his birthday he hopes for some small acknowledgement that his life matters. He hopes that his mother remembers his birthday, would cook him pancakes. Small redeeming acts to compensate for parental neglect. It is a reminder that negative words and acts have an influence, and these will have more power to destroy the vulnerable and neglected. Contains sexual references and swearing.
    • 4/5
      I really cared about the protagonist in this book. Heavy subject matter handled well and in a unique way. I'll be passing this one on!
    • 5/5
      I can't. Too many feels.
    • 5/5
      I've loved the previous two books that I've read by Matthew Quick. Both The Silver Linings Playbook and Boy21 deal with difficult subjects, but do so in a way that shows the hope that exists even in the midst of challenging situations. So, I was looking forward to Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock. But I was a bit apprehensive as well. I knew that the book was about a high school student who was planning to kill himself, and this is a topic that hits close to home for me. Yet from the beginning, Quick not only describes the hopelessness that Leonard feels, but also provides glimpses of humanity and hope. Leonard's next-door neighbor who watches Humphrey Bogart movies with him, his teacher who uses the lens of the Holocaust to encourage students to think for themselves, his friend who plays the violin so beautifully - all of these people care for Leonard, even when he cannot see it. Yet Quick is realistic about the despair that Leonard feels as well. He writes authentically, creating a voice for Leonard that I won't soon forget and shedding light on the deep despair that so often comes with growing up.
    • 5/5
      Matthew Quick is an excellent story teller that gives an authentic voice to his characters. We meet Leonard Peacock on the morning of his birthday, the day he is planning on killing his former best friend turned nemesis and then himself with his grandfather's old WWII gun. The book chronicles the entire day including his goodbyes to the people he cares about and preparing to commit a terrible crime. This book is dark and intense but amazing. I listened to the audio book of this and forgot at one point that I wasn't actually following Leonard through his last day. This book is powerful to say the least. 4P, 4Q.