Heaven on Earth: Church Mouse Musings at Historic St. Peter's

Series

Greetings!

Welcome back to those of you who have read Finley’s Tale – Book I: In the Beginning. I have profoundly missed you! Thank you for devoting your time to reading the first part of my journal, as minutes and hours are precious and best not treated carelessly. Now that the second part of my trilogy is in your hands, let’s get going and dive into more happenings at Historic St. Peter’s!

PLEASE NOTE: To those who have not read In the Beginning, kindly let me enlighten you with some brief information. First of all, my name is Finley Newcastle. I am honoured to be a church mouse at Historic St. Peter’s in Oswald County. Currently I am in the process of writing a journal recording one liturgical church year at St. Peter’s. The entries into my journal come from various happenings around the church, writing down only those of paramount noteworthiness.

My gem of a wife, Ruby, and I reside in a perfect location, right next door to the Pastor’s home that is called a parsonage. There is a very small opening in their dining room wall, behind the hutch, where we are able to peek into the parsonage to observe all that is going on, as well as hearing conversations. The clergy residence is attached to the church proper by a long-windowed breezeway which allows us to observe everything that goes on at church, too. The mice village that dwells at Historic St. Peter’s is a tight-knit community. Of crucial priority is our safety, as we do not want to be discovered. Frequently the mice living here gather together for a village meeting, where we open and close our meetings with the singing of our theme song, Safety First. This is our home and we want to remain here, in God’s house.

I encourage you to band together with me on this journey where you will need no luggage. There is no need to fret about being behind, or that you might have to pass an examination, or that you will be bombarded and buried in details. Fiddlesticks on all of that! Please begin by taking my straightforward advice to simply read what is in front of you. After only a few pages you will adore Pastor Clement and Aia (pronounced I-ya) Osterhagen and their darling daughter Gretchen. Not long from now twins will arrive at the Osterhagen home, as Aia’s due date is in late June. You will also become familiar with many delightful parishioners that belong to Historic St. Peter’s, and, just as importantly, the remarkable mouse village that resides here.

Now, once again, before any more time is frittered away, let’s get going! I have a tale to tell, and you may follow my tale.

Your old friend or your newest friend (chose which one is applicable),

Finley Newcastle

(F.N. for short)

1. Fourth Sunday of Easter/Mother’s Day – May 10

On Saturday, May 9, the last entry was recorded in Finley’s Tale – Book I: In the Beginning (I used a blank journal with J.S. Bach on the cover). Entries briefly came to a halt because every single sheet was brimming full of handwriting. Thankfully, I enlisted help from St. Pete’s mice village and immediately the team of Ellsworth and Zeb stumbled upon a spiral notebook located on the bottom shelf in the Sunday School craft supply room. The cover was completely ripped off, but that is of no mind, the blank pages are what I need to continue my writing.

Recognizing that today is Mother’s Day, Pastor Osterhagen and Chairperson Bill Tiederman stationed themselves at the front door of St. Peter’s, ready to honour all mothers. By offering them a warm greeting and smile, along with a carnation, most of the women were delighted. A couple of village mice observed the delight on Pleasant Lerwick’s face when she attended Historic St. Peter’s for the very first time today and received a carnation. However, several times this was an uncomfortable task for Bill Tiederman. Sometimes he could not distinguish whether or not a woman is a mother by simply glancing at her.

As I was tucked away behind the large faux ficus tree located near the church entryway, I observed Bill making several missteps today. However, a colossal error occurred when he wished the elderly spinster, Lillian Thompson, Happy Mother’s Day! After hearing those cheerful words, Lillian instantly burst into tears. It was a blessing that her Irish linen handkerchief (adorned with multi-coloured tatting) was tucked into her blouse sleeve, as it made her fully prepared to mop up her cascade of tears. Being of delicate countenance, Lillian has not keep it to herself that she has yet to find her true love and get married. But, she has several times revealed to others that it is far too late in life for her to have a baby, a dream of hers that was shattered decades ago. After seeing Lillian’s reaction, Pastor’s facial expressions showed his misgivings about whether or not this Mother’s Day tradition of doling out flowers is far from being a grand idea. I heard him quietly mention his thoughts to Bill Tiederman, after which Bill’s head shook up and down in agreement with Pastor’s remarks. At this evening’s village gathering, the mice community concurred with their thoughts on this delicate issue, too. We predict the carnation give-away has just died, at best, or at least taken a year off. One benefit of this will be that the flower fund line in St. Peter’s annual budget will be dropped significantly.

Yesterday Clement and Gretchen shopped for a Mother’s Day gift for Aia. On their way home, they drove past Aia as she was carrying a cookie sheet and heading to her friend Annette’s home. After Clement and Gretchen returned home, they began to wrap gifts, remarking to each other that the parsonage was filled with the delicious aroma of a sweet pastry. It was not until later that we heard Aia tell Gretchen that the cookie sheet she dropped off at Annette’s home contained freshly baked baklava. Gretchen was disappointed that her mama gave all of the baklava to Annette, but Aia told her she only gave half of it away, reassuring her that there is plenty for the three of them to enjoy.

During yesterday’s shopping spree, Gretchen spotted a slippery blue and purple floral nightgown that she said was really, really, big and wide enough for her mommy’s tummy, so Clement purchased it. After that they drove to Victor’s Greenhouse where Gretchen selected a large purple gloxinia plant that she thought was the prettiest flower she had ever seen. Gretchen suggested that they prepare spaghetti, garlic toast, olives, and chocolate cake for their Mother’s Day supper. Clement agreed. After that they drove to Grocer Dan’s and purchased groceries to prepare the feast. Ruby mentioned to me that Aia really enjoyed tonight’s supper, her gifts, but especially the thought put into the special day. Aia thanked Clement for encouraging Gretchen to plan everything. Aia mentioned that next Mother’s Day she will be the mother of three children.

Something happened at St. Peter’s this morning that I am thoroughly ashamed to reveal. But, remembering that it is my duty to make reports in my journal, I plow forward. Copper, one member of our village, overheard one of the young adult parishioners, Jodie Bernard, whisper to her friend, Abbey Whitelaw, news that she was going to ask Pastor Osterhagen for a $20 donation to her basketball league for their upcoming trip to Niagara Falls. Jodie let Abbey in on the scoop when she said, Asking for donations is a super easy way to increase our family income. She also declared that she has successfully done this with others. Today she will try her trick out on Pastor Osterhagen and use the donation to treat her mother and herself to dinner at Sarah’s Farmhouse, the newest restaurant in town. Because Aia overheard snippets of Jodie’s master plan, she speed walked over to Clement to warn him not to give any money to Jodie Bernard, adding that later on she will explain her reasoning. Copper pointed out to us that Aia must be the best pastor’s wife in all of Oswald County, as she is Pastor’s biggest supporter. Plus, he added that Aia is thrifty and careful with their money, just as she was today. Copper noticed that when it comes to money, Aia is brimming full of common sense, and when it comes to spotting monkeyshines, she is chock-full of perceptiveness.

At 11:30 p.m. Ruby and I travelled to the parsonage upset that Jodie Bernard is raising money for herself, not charity. We don’t think anyone should support Jodie’s fundraisers. Besides that, Ruby has been in a funk today because it is Mother’s Day. A deep sense of sadness comes over her that she hasn’t had even one baby, while so many in our village have one after the next. We talked about her crushed feelings as we snacked on a piece of Italian angel hair pasta found under the dining room table. I noticed that as Ruby was chewing she seemed consoled and her tears stopped.

– F.N.

2. The Ascension of Our Lord – Thursday, May 14

The handbell gloves reappeared tonight, just as suddenly as they went missing last December. The mice in our village wondered why the church gremlin, Griffin, couldn’t have been kind enough to return them prior to Easter Sunday. Cadence Davis, the director, was so agitated that she unloaded her complaints to Pastor Osterhagen shortly before the 7 p.m. worship service celebrating The Ascension of Our Lord. All of the complaining before church tonight must have affected Pastor’s thoughts because he looked like he had something weighing heavily on his shoulders. He also made small flubs and said um several times during his announcements. Cadence was visibly upset and sour at the handbell rehearsal held after worship tonight. A majority of the mice in the village have their minds made up that Griffin has a wicked stripe inside of him, one that is just plain evil.

Having placed an order at Christian’s Church Goods for a dozen pairs of handbell gloves, the bell ringers had been able to wear white gloves during their anthem on Easter Sunday. Now that Griffin has returned the gloves he captured in December, there is an abundance of them. Cadence is appalled by this and fears that the church treasurer will blame her for this extra expense. Although she does dedicate a lot of time carefully selecting quality music, she also prudently watches over the expenses of music and supplies. Each piece of music costs a couple of dollars. This unnecessary expense for gloves is what has her frazzled.

At the village meeting tonight some of the mice reported that Cadence took the handbell gloves home with her when she left the church. It is evident that she does not trust leaving them in the building any longer. The mice think Cadence’s next step will be to haul the four big heavy grey bell cases home with her after every rehearsal. She’ll most likely take the entire library of bell music with her, as well. She has become a safety first gal.

The mice ended the village meeting tonight with the singing of Safety First, which led to a discussion about giving Cadence Davis a copy of the mice theme song. Because she is so interested in the safety of the gloves, the sheet music, and the bells, the mice envision that safety is definitely one of her priorities. The mice also discussed the enjoyment the bell ringers might find in playing our theme song. As the discussion was unfolding, some of the mice got goose bumps imagining our song being played by a handbell choir, especially under Cadence’s direction that includes a good amount of gusto and flair. Cadence might appreciate receiving a free song, as it would be of no expense to the church. We all agreed to help Cadence in that small way. Immediately a committee was formed to orchestrate a way to deliver a copy of the music to Cadence. This would be a gift, not adding a penny to her concern about being over the budget.

At 11:30 p.m. Ruby and I travelled to the parsonage and found a potato lump that dropped on the floor from a Southern fried chicken dinner with gravy and lumpy (on purpose) mashed potatoes. We commented that we had no idea potato lumps tasted that savoury.

– F.N.

3. Friday, May 15

The first thing that Aia did today was to strip the sheets from their bed and put them in the washing machine. Prior to the Osterhagen’s morning coffee, the colourful sheets were already blowing in the wind, suspended from the old-time clothes line. The mice have noticed that Aia generally prefers to hang bed sheets outside whenever possible to pick up the natural fresh scent from the air. Also, it cuts down on utilities. According to Clement and Aia, the fresh air fragrance is so heavenly that it is indescribable. The only time that the outdoor drying method is disrupted is when Gaynor Babineaux starts up his manure spreader sending a load of aroma not just throughout Oswald County but far into infinity.

While she was outside, Aia noticed that someone had entered their backyard before they woke up this morning and helped themselves to the first pickings of the healthy rhubarb plants that are located in one corner. The established rhubarb plants in their backyard are from an inherited rhubarb bed given to the previous pastor and his wife by some former members of St. Pete’s, the Fletchers. Both Mr. & Mrs. Fletcher are gone now, but their daughter, Constance, who is in her mid-sixties, lives in the house located on the heritage farm. She lives up to the meaning of her name, firm of purpose. Both Clement and Aia tried to figure out who the thief might be, but they keep coming back to Constance Fletcher as the main suspect. Both have a hunch she will return a few more times to glean more of their rhubarb before the end of the season because she just can’t see that rhubarb go unharvested.

Constance, The Rude Rhubarb Thief, as Aia refers to her, got the very first of the rhubarb when its taste was at its peak. She took only the pinky red rhubarb stalks, dropping the leaves on the ground for the Osterhagens to dispose of. It is a stroke of luck that Aia discovered the rhubarb leaf mess the first thing this morning while Gretchen was still asleep. Gretchen could have gone outside to play in the backyard and seen the leaves and would not have known that the leaves are poisonous. If she was inquisitive about them, she might have taken a little bite and consumed the lethal chemical oxalic acid.

Aia had planned to cut rhubarb today to cook a simple rhubarb sauce for their Syttende Mai May 17 Norwegian Constitution Day Celebration. She aimed to do the exact same thing last year for their dinner, but they suspect it was Constance who snatched the rhubarb at that time also. Now the Osterhagens are completely without rhubarb. Even though rhubarb is a perennial, Aia said that she will have to be extra quick acting when it grows back so that they can enjoy rhubarb sauce at least one time this season.

Aia went on and on complaining to Clement that Constance is constantly picking the springtime rhubarb, suggesting that she must suffer from constipation. Aia told Clement that rhubarb contains laxative properties which are extremely useful for relief of constipation. She mentioned that the Chinese have known this healthy benefit of eating rhubarb for thousands of years.

Aia also hinted that perhaps Constance is entering a rhubarb festival, as one person alone could never consume that much rhubarb, but they both ruled out that suggestion, as rhubarb easily freezes. Constance could use frozen rhubarb when she bakes any old time of the year.

The third and final part of Aia’s Trinitarian (due to being a graduate of Trinity College) speech was to bring forth the idea that Constance might be using the sweet, crisp, and tart goodness of the rhubarb to make something far better than rhubarb crumble, that being home-brewed rhubarb wine. Constance just looks like her moonshine of choice might be rhubarb wine.

Clement advised Aia to keep quiet about this when she is around Constance or she will end up getting herself into a fuss over such a trivial matter. Aia nodded her head in agreement, calmed down, and thanked him. Since Aia had grumbled far too much about the loss of their rhubarb, Clement drove down to Grocer Dan’s and purchased a big bunch so Aia could make her sauce. After that, Aia was so pleased with her rhubarb supply that Ruby and I noticed she never mentioned Constance again.

At 11:30 p.m. Ruby and I travelled to the parsonage where we came across several little mustard seeds on the kitchen floor. Aia must have whisked up her favourite mustard seed vinaigrette today, accidentally spilling a few seeds on the floor. We wondered if we would now possess the faith and strength to move mountains like we heard about in a Bible reading from Luke 17. We probably could move mountains, but decided against it as Maryland’s Sugarloaf Mountain, Arizona’s Mount Bigelow, and Colorado’s Cathedral Peak are too distant and far-flung from us. Ruby and I prefer to stay put. This is our preferred stomping ground.

– F.N.

4. Saturday, May 16

The parsonage doorbell rang early this morning. Clement opened the front door and found Constance Fletcher standing on the bottom step, greeting him with her hands full, wearing a friendly, warm smile. Also warm was what she handed him, a homemade rhubarb pie. Pastor was delighted to receive the pie and gratefully thanked her. Constance couldn’t stay and talk because she had two more pies to deliver to two of the members of St. Pete’s that are homebound.

After Clement closed the front door, he brought the pie into the kitchen, got out a knife, the pie server, three little plates and forks, and cut three pieces of rhubarb pie. This morning’s breakfast of rhubarb pie was unusual for the Osterhagens as they usually make pancakes on Saturday mornings. Today’s breakfast was an exception to that pattern because the pie was warm and smelled sensational, so they decided to eat some of it right away. Before taking a bite of the rhubarb pie, Aia’s attitude about Constance sounded accusatory, centering on three things: first, how flabbergasted she was that Constance had the audacity to steal their rhubarb; secondly, how Constance had the gall to bake a pie from their rhubarb; and, thirdly, how Constance had the pluck to present them a pie made from their rhubarb. After Aia tasted her first bite of the pie, she no longer had critical words to say about Constance, adding that from now on Constance was welcome to pick their rhubarb as much as she desires, hoping that she will bake them a rhubarb pie every once in a while. Noting that her baking ability was magnificent, Aia remarked that it doesn’t take very many ingredients to make a rhubarb pie. One only needs sugar, butter, rhubarb, and a pie crust, but Constance has the supreme ability to take those few ingredients and magically create an utterly perfect sweet and sour creation tenderly wrapped in the flakiest, best quality homemade double crust. From now on, the The Rude Rhubarb Thief nickname was buried and became vastly transformed to Constance Fletcher, The Best Rhubarb Pie Baker in the Entire World.

In mid-May of each year, several church ladies groups throughout Oswald County have been gathering together for a workshop that is referred to as A Spring Social for Christian Gals. It is a time to listen, learn, laugh, pray, and sing. But, basically, it is a big get-to-see-and-know-each-other event that, of course, has a Christian theme. The churches involved in it are in a rotation to host the annual event. This year it was Historic St. Peter’s turn to be the super-friendly, welcoming, hospitable, and entertaining church. The mice village voted unanimously that we needed to assign one or two from our village to be on duty for this event. Cécile-Claudette volunteered her services lickety-split, followed by Hadden promising to partner with her. Hadden’s enthusiasm mostly stems from being wildly infatuated with Cécile-Claudette. Thankfully, their volunteerism completely eliminated the need for the village to appoint two mice to oversee the event.

HSP’s Ladies’ Guild put effort into searching for the perfect speaker for this gathering and they were confident that they found one. Dr. Ellen Kam is a university professor of psychology who also is a Christian with a colossal funny side. Her topic, A Humorous Look at the Human Mind, delighted her audience today, bringing in lots of laughter while reminding them that the mind is a spectacular blessing from God. Dr. Kam’s presentation engaged the audience in an amusing way by describing how men’s and women’s brains are wired differently. She brought along with her two visual aids. They were large drawings mounted on plywood, one of a man’s head, the other of a woman’s head. The back of the plywood had been drilled with dozens of holes with red and green Christmas lights poking through them, which Dr. Kam was able to control with a switch. The lights would go off and on during her presentation when different topics were mentioned. The lights between the two brains were extremely varied, showing that what bothers or delights the female brain is often far different than what has an effect on the male brain. The laughter from the audience was enormous during some of the red/green light show. She told everyone that the human brain has so much depth and complexity, it is anything but simple. Dr. Kam received a standing ovation from the gals.

After that, Aia was called forward to lead the group in prayer. Ruby had heard that she was delighted to be chosen to do this by the Ladies’ Guild but was also shocked that they selected her. Usually the closing prayer at the Spring Social for Christian Gals is done by someone who is an extrovert and enjoys listening to the sound of their own voice in the microphone. The entire church knows that Aia is not like that.

Aia prayed: "Dear Heavenly Father, we give you thanks and praise for all