If You Build It They Will Stay: Your Guide To Connecting Generations In The Workplace

If You Build It They Will Stay

Your Guide to Connecting Generations in the Workplace

Chris Cano

ChasingHappyatWork.com

Copyright © 2020 Chris Cano

All rights reserved.

ISBN Paperback: 978-1-64746-355-7

ISBN Hardback: 978-1-64746-356-4

ISBN Ebook: 978-1-64746-357-1

Library of Congress Control Number: 2020912289

Dedicated to my family:

Thank you Jessica, Lelia, and Henry for all of your unwavering support!

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Introduction

Part I: Connecting Generations

Chapter 1: The Real Millennial Question

Chapter 2: The Generational Divide

Chapter 3: What Do We Know?

Chapter 4: Essence of a Pact

Chapter 5: Management vs. Leadership

Chapter 6: Who Should Be Responsible?

Chapter 7: Personalize the Experience

Chapter 8: Autonomy Is Non-Negotiable

Chapter 9: Communicate

Chapter 10: Teaching Is the Future

Chapter 11: Practical Application of the Millennial P.A.C.T.

Part II: Leading in a Generational Workplace

Chapter 12: Millennial Leadership

Chapter 13: More Statistics

Chapter 14: The Dance

Chapter 15: Who Wants to Be a Leader?

Chapter 16: The Messenger and the Message

Chapter 17: The Student / Teacher

Chapter 18: The Mentor / Coach

Chapter 19: A Note on Development

Chapter 20: The Advocate

Chapter 21: The Activist

Chapter 22: Putting it Together

Conclusion

Notes

About the Author

Introduction

I recently attended a conference and had the pleasure of speaking with many of our new and future leaders. These leaders are in their mid to late-twenties and are referred to now by most people as millennials. As I spoke to them, there was a recurring theme as we talked about how their acclimation to the workplace was going. The vast majority felt that their education and experiences to date had not prepared them for the world they were stepping into. They had a desire to lead people but had a hard time assimilating into organizations. That rough transition led to challenges with their peers and bosses, which ultimately led to issues with their teams.

This new generation of leaders and employees has been heavily stereotyped by employers, the media, and just about anyone else with a noteworthy opinion. The terms narcissistic, disrespectful, and entitled are frequently used to describe an entire generation of workers. The reality is that as employers, that could not be further from the truth. This generation is predominantly made up of educated, innovative, and motivated individuals who need guidance and direction to help them succeed in the organizations we have built.. Their definition of longevity looks much different from that of their predecessors, and their outlook on what it takes to be successful is also very different. As the mentors who have been charged to guide them, we must understand where they are coming from, what influences them, how they learn, where they find support, and what we can do to influence their growth.

If you are an employer and you are reading this, then I want to thank you for taking the first step in creating an environment that will not only attract millennial talent, but will also foster retention. You are taking the first step in tearing down stereotypes and will ultimately reap the benefits of having a passionate and engaged workforce. Part one of this book will provide you with information and systems to activate the benefits your team brings to the table and capitalize on the potential they exhibit. Part two will focus on the traits you and your leadership team can hone to ensure you are guiding your team in the right direction.

If you are a millennial or new leader and reading this, then you will be looking at this book from a couple of perspectives. First, you should look at some of the difficulties your employer is having connecting with you and creating an environment for you to thrive in. You need to understand that to make an impact in the future, you need to understand the past. The rules, processes, systems, and norms of the organization you are joining or are a part of are extremely important to the people who work there. The more respect you pay their accomplishments, the more support and empowerment they will give you. You will have plenty of accomplishments someday, and I am sure you would appreciate the same from the incoming generation. Next, you need to answer most of the questions as you move through the book. The more prepared you are to help your employer, the more symbiotic the growth will be. Understand that amenities, perks, and services are great, but their value is usually fleeting. Work to build the things that connect you to your company’s mission, vision, and values so you will be able to do the same for your future teams. Finally, if you lead people already, then you need to read this book from both perspectives, working as a millennial and as an employer. Remember, influence does not always come from the top, and by practicing the leadership traits in part two, you will be able influence others from any level of your organization.

Thank you for taking this step. Please feel free to reach out to me at any time at www.jlhleadership.com.

Part I

Connecting Generations

A genuine leader is not a searcher for consensus but a molder of consensus.

—Martin Luther King Jr

CHAPTER 1

The Real Millennial Question

The children now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise.

—Socrates

The tone of the room turns to one of silence and reflection as an executive begins to volley the thought that the reason turnover is so high and productivity continues to suffer is because this new generation of millennial leaders does not have the same focus or dedication as their predecessors. Furthermore, our inability to manage them has led to greater concerns, though the concerns were never really addressed. The forty-five or so leaders in the room all nod their head in passive agreement.

This training class we were all attending was one of the standard corporate classes designed to build leadership skill in one area or another. It focused on generating conversations that led to actions designed to improve the work-life of the team, thus improving the performance of the organization. One of the standard exercises was splitting the room up into quarters and rotating through a SWOT analysis for the organization. Many things became similar trends across all of the groups, but one became particularly evident—those in attendance were struggling to connect with the new generation of leaders, the millennials.

Most in the room had opinions about the generation, but as we cursorily dipped our toe into the conversation, most used buzz words that they had heard somewhere. The terms entitled, selfish, narcissistic were brought up, but in equal measure, they thought they were extremely educated, innovative, and passionate. After just a few minutes of banter, a more prominent leader in the room basically stopped the conversation and asked the room to move on.

This conversation encouraged me to talk to some of my leaders when I returned to my property to gauge their thoughts on the subject. Most of them are millennials so their thoughts revolved primarily around being misunderstood. One of them brought up an interview Simon Sinek did on the Millennial Question for Inside Quest. I had not seen the video, but I promised the team I would watch it. Apparently, about five million other people had seen it to this point, which made me feel a little like I was hiding under a rock somewhere.

To be truthful, I had never paid much attention to the millennial Question. As a leader born in 1979, I was basically the tail end of Generation X, and I was before the start of the millennial generation, which is largely identified to start somewhere between 1980 and 1984. For me, these were my peers, and I had just simply been a little ahead of them. The generational question I had struggled to answer during my career was how to lead older Generation X or baby boomer leaders as a relatively young leader. The thought of being worried about leading people younger than me had never crossed my mind.

As I watched the Simon Sinek video, I learned a few things. The first thing I learned is the generational divide had apparently been given a name, and it was ever-widening. Sinek began to attribute the concerns of the millennial generation to four things: parenting, technology, patience, and the environment. He cited a few studies throughout the fifteen-plus minute analysis, and in the end, I was left with more questions than answers. I then proceeded to watch dozens of responses on YouTube, watched several TED talks discussing the generation, and began to read the research that most of these thought leaders cited.

As I returned to Sinek’s video, two statements stuck with me. First, millennials are looking for ways to acculturate outside of their family into the greater tribe. I attended a talk where Seth Godin was the keynote speaker, and he touched on the thought of tribes. Godin’s definition of a tribe during that talk was a group of people that care about each other, their goals, and their culture. As this new generation of workers and leaders matriculate into society, they are struggling to find a means to connect to a group or organization because, in many cases, they cannot identify the culture of the group they are joining. Sinek points out that the evolution of the corporate structure will start moving to one that attempts to connect passion and purpose to this new generation of leaders. Corporations are finding out, You can’t be a tribe of everyone, as Godin points out. Defining what matters to the company and synthesizing that into a connection with this new generation will start to form the tribe they are seeking to acculturate into.

The second thought from Sinek’s Millennial Question interview was that there is a lack of good leadership. Godin further supports this by identifying that we have a shortage of leaders that help us connect and grow. As organizations and corporations start to try and make a meaningful connection with a new generation of leaders, they are also struggling with a gap in good leadership that has permeated most levels of their entities. The 1980s and 1990s leader with a title and a directive has fallen by the wayside, and in their place is an expectation of a leader who is a coach or mentor and less of a boss. During the training class I attended, one of leaders said they get frustrated because they cannot tell someone to do something anymore. That simple statement illustrates the much larger issue—we have grown into a society filled with managers and very few leaders. Developing leaders who understand how building connections and growing their teams leads to success may be the answer to the millennial question people are so intently asking.

Sinek explored several more controversial reasons for the widening gap between millennials and the generations that preceded them. He suggested things like the way they were raised, the connection between social media and addictive behaviors evident in alcoholism and smoking, and the impact of technology on the ability to connect. All of the thoughts were supported by research and begin to address some of the reasons why there is a perceived divide between the generations. Sinek never really provided his answer to the question. His postulated thoughts were intriguing and stimulating, and to his credit, in a later video, he asked for constructive feedback to help grow the thought leadership on this subject.

Maybe the real millennial question is less about the nuances attributed to this generation and more about the way we communicate as leaders. Like with previous generations, the answer always lies in the evolution of our norms and the way we communicate those norms to our teams. There will always be things that earmark generations. Still, one consistency is once you find a way to inspire and motivate them, the larger challenge lies in gaining their enrollment through communication, connection, and action. A further look at the last statement breaks the key components down into four words: enrollment, connection, communication, and action.

Enrollment

The summer months are particularly busy at the hotel I run, and as the general manager, I make it a point to be on the floor most of my day. One day, I went to our restaurant during lunch, and as they were busy working, I jumped in to help. After taking a few orders and clearing a few tables, I asked one of the senior servers if we were missing someone. He replied he had not seen Miguel for a while, and as a result, the restaurant was backing up. As I asked around, another server said he saw Miguel walk out toward the beach. I quickly headed that way to track down my missing server. When I arrived, I found Miguel staring at the ocean. I walked up next to him and suppressed my urge to ask him why he was out there. Instead, I simply asked if he was okay. Miguel looked at me and said that he did not come all the way from Cuba to not matter, to just be a server at a restaurant. I asked him what he wanted. He told me he wanted to make a difference in other people’s lives but did not think he could do that where he was. He said he joined our company because of the unlimited opportunities. But over a year later, he was still stuck as a server.

Most leaders I have met would have stormed out to the beach after Miguel and fired him because this had been an ongoing issue with him. Instead, I looked at Miguel and simply asked him what he was doing about it. He said he had applied for other jobs but had not gotten them. I again asked him what he was doing about it. After a few volleys back and forth, he basically decided he had really done nothing to get where he wanted to go. I told him growth happens in small, measured steps done daily, and it did not happen overnight.