The Art of the Date

Advance Praise for The Art of the Date

"Being the best version of you physically and mentally enhances the value of connectiveness, making us better people. Finding love and a partner in life is directly affected by how you care for yourself. Whether it’s physical enhancement, mental clarity, or peace within yourself, when you bring the best version of you to the table you are ready to receive the same in return. The Art of the Date reminds readers that the fundamental values of respecting yourself and honoring those around you are the keys to long lasting love."

–DR. PAUL JARROD FRANK, Celebrity Cosmetic Dermatologist,

Chief Medical Officer & Founder, PFRANKMD™

& PFRANKMD™ Skin Salons

"The Art of the Date is a guide to anyone who is looking to find their soul-mate. Rori and Dr. Gluck’s combination of humor and expertise will keep readers engaged, while providing them priceless tools to their secret matchmaking methods. Readers will be inspired to never settle for mediocrity in their partners where greatness can exist."

–TANYA ZUCKERBROT MS, RD CEO & Founder of F-Factor

"The Art of the Date is a refreshing take on the dating world emphasizing that finding and keeping love alive is also a creative journey ignited by continually reinventing yourself to be the best you can be. Rori’s and Dr. Gluck’s anecdotes ring true with a fun twist and have a strong traditional foundation often lost in the way we communicate today. Honest, funny, and true to life, The Art of The Date will inspire and remind readers that human nature and tradition still hold value in love and relationships."

–ANN FRANK,Director of Operations & Creative Director, PFRANKMD ™ & PFRANKMD™ Skin Salons



Platinum Poire Press, January 2021

The Art of the Date

Copyright © 2019 by Rori Sassoon and Dr. Errol Gluck

All Rights Reserved

ISBN:  978-0578462226

eBook ISBN: 978-0578841274

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without written permission of the author and the publisher.

Platinum Poire Press

New York

www.platinumpoire.com

Published in the United States of America

Dedication

Love is the most potent force of healing, of pleasure, and of creating. This book is dedicated to actualizing your ability to find that true love that will change your life unlike anything that you have ever experienced. We will celebrate with you every step of the way. This book is for you and everyone who you believe needs to find and keep true love.

Introduction

Ever wanted to date like a billionaire?

The Art of the Date shares relationship secrets from Platinum Poire, New York’s most selective matchmaking agency. We match only the most elite couples: power players, movers and shakers, and super eligible CEOs. With a success rate that is second to none, we know how to choose a relationship that is built to last—and can make you richer, too!

We use our decades of combined knowledge to coach New York City’s most desirable executives. Now, we’re giving you an exclusive look at how we create relationships at the C-Suite level. Whether you want to marry a millionaire or find a relationship that will last a lifetime, we know how to get you there. Finally, you have a solution to years of bad dates and relationships that go nowhere. With our method, you can commit without compromise and get the kind of relationship you desire and deserve.

We met several years ago, when Rori was looking to overcome of her fear of highway driving. She searched for Manhattan’s best hypnotist and found Dr. Gluck. Within a few sessions, her fears were lifted, and she was inspired by the power of profiling to help her become her best self. Dr. Gluck saw Rori’s passion for style and her incredible intuition, work ethic, and sassy-classy attitude. He’d had the idea of a matchmaking agency for years, but until he met Rori he wasn’t sure the dream was a possibility. He knew that she was a perfect fit.

We went out for dinner, talked business, and the rest is history. You could say it was a match made in Manhattan.

Soon, we decided to combine our highly specialized skills to create a matchmaking agency for New York’s one percent. Every year, we help hundreds of carefully selected, high profile clients find their soulmates and make meaningful connections. Now, that doesn’t mean we always agree! But we always find a solution, and more importantly, we believe that love always finds a way.

You’ve seen Rori on The Real Housewives of New York. She’s a stylist and relationship expert who offers the feminine perspective on love. She knows how important reputation is for your relationship: to command respect, be respectable. She’ll also tell you what’s up with guys: how to tell when you’re being played, and how to attract your Mister Perfect.

Dr. Gluck, with a degree that integrates psychology, anthropology, and theology, plus decades of experience in Executive Life Coaching, forensic profiling, and the practice of neuroplasticity, speaks up for men.

From the first kiss to the first wedding anniversary, healthy marriages all use the same ingredients. Billionaires and bus drivers have more in common than you’d think, when it comes to relationships. The Art of the Date will show anyone how to make the most of their chemistry to enjoy lasting love and better sex at any income level.

Dating apps will not get you what you want. In fact, they’re probably hurting your chances of finding true love. We wrote The Art of the Date to offer you a reliable, balanced approach to dating. No algorithms, no bullshit! We know our method works, and we have dozens of happy matches to prove it—including our own marriages.

We don’t do rules, gimmicks, or weird pick-up lines. We just give it to you straight, from our experience. Love is life’s biggest adventure—and best investment.

We wish you all the best in your search. We hope it will be the opportunity of a lifetime.

Sincerely,

Rori & Dr. Gluck

Chapter 1

Sexy Signals and the Zazazou

Any chemist will tell you that the reactions they create in the lab are anything but spontaneous. There’s a method to it. The careful mixology that creates sparks, pizzazz, or even explosions depends on which chemicals are combined, and when, and how.

That’s how people work, too. The right combination of two people can be magical. Effervescent. We call these power couples a platinum pair. They’re strong, durable, and built on a connection that is truly priceless. The wrong combination of partners? We call that a nightmare! In making matches, we look carefully at the essential ingredients of each partner. We assess their desires, personality traits, and habits. Then, we can help people mingle and match more meaningfully. Think more sparkle, less sulphur. Those instantaneous connections can lead to more: love, meaningful bonds, commitment, and a future together. So what are the ingredients that make good dates happen?

In this chapter, we will help you assess what you bring to the table, what your personal chemistry is, and how to eliminate the behaviors that make you less appealing.

The Nose Knows

Dr. Gluck: The concept of personal chemistry is fascinating. Why are two people instantly drawn to one another? It’s a phenomenon that is very much like perfume. It bewitches the senses, but eventually its scent fades away.

Rori: Are you saying there’s more to love than a spritz of Hermès?

Dr. Gluck: Yes and no. Instant chemistry is that gut-level, instinctive attraction that two people have. It can’t be bottled, or matching services and dating apps would be out of business! Chemistry is essential, but it’s not a guarantee that the relationship will last or that you’ll have it for more than a night.

Rori: For people looking for a meaningful match, it’s OK to come across a little strong. Make your first impression a powerful one. That means finding a signature scent. Something that says Hello, Mr. Big.

If you smell like a cupcake, you’re going to attract a baker, right? If you smell like a million bucks, you are going to send the signal that you’re looking for a broker, a banker, or better yet, a millionaire. Many scents for women lean heavily on florals and vanilla scents. Those are good-girl smells. If that’s who you are, then that’s what you wear. If you’re a bad girl, a heavier perfume will show your naughty streak.

Go to the perfume counter for guidance from an expert. Learn how muskier fragrances sit on your skin. For some people, especially those who want to be taken seriously, a heavy perfume is appropriate. Don’t shy away from sandalwood, violet, or cashmere musks. Think of scent as a component of your outfit, too. If you’re wearing a heavy-duty, super-feminine musk, that doesn’t go with the yoga-pants-and-messy-bun look. You need to make sure you’re picking a scent that promises something on which you can follow through. You’re not fully dressed until you’ve  applied your perfume with a dab or spritz in the places you want to be kissed: neck, cleavage, and the back of the knee. A little lipstick wouldn’t kill you, either.

Perfume, like a good conversation, develops with your body heat. The scent can change, so be smart and pick something that will smell great after a two-hour dinner instead of leaving you smelling like yesterday’s leftover salmon. A sure-fire, go-to perfume that is catnip for men is Baiser Vole, from Cartier. It’s 100 percent lily. Versace Crystal Noir is a sexy, feminine evening scent. Another classic is Goutal, of course, which goes with everything.

What you want to do with perfume is invite someone to lean in a little closer—and not to take one sniff and say, Wow, you smell like my grandma. No, thanks! Work with a sales person to find something that’s age appropriate and sends the right message.

For men, it’s no different. A polished, herbal aftershave can fill in the gaps. Guys, it’s better to go light on scents, since they can be overpowering and distracting. You don’t want to be that Guy whose cologne is making the whole elevator stink like Pepe Le Pew! If I’m standing right next to a guy, that’s the only time I should be able to smell him. Think clean and warm, like scents that contain bergamot or orange blossom. Dolce & Gabbana’s Pour Homme is easy to wear and not too heavy. Keep away from unisex fragrances, or your date will think you’re stepping out on another lady.

Dr. Gluck: Scents can trigger powerful memories. That’s why perfume is key: your scent is linked to how your potential partner remembers you the day after your date. The sense of smell is part of our primal brain, so a person who is meeting you for the first time is going to pick up on the notes in your perfume. They may not realize it, but the subtle signals in your perfume are helping create this magical sense of chemistry between you.

Rori: You don’t want to be linked in someone’s mind to the smell of onion rings! Be intentional with your choices. It matters. Those initial chemistry signals tell both partners that something special is happening. My sense of chemistry with other people is all about romance: that instant click that makes me feel so good when I’m with them. I believe there is such a thing as a soulmate.

I feel everyone is meant to be with a certain kind of person, even if it’s not forever—even if it’s just for two weeks, or ten years. Chemistry can signal that you need that person during a particular time in your life. That’s why we have all different kinds of people who come and go from our lives. They’re with us for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. But the point is, it starts with the first date! And that first date had better be a good one.

Dr. Gluck: When you’re with the right person, time flies! You don’t get bored with the other person’s company. You’re fully enchanted. There is a feeling of sexual excitement coinciding with intellectual curiosity. You’re on the same wavelength. When I met my first wife, it was in the middle of a college dance. I was out there being myself: sitting in the middle of the dance floor in my overalls with my legs folded. When my future wife spotted me, she leaned over to her best friend and said, See that guy? I’m going to marry him.

And we did get married. We had a full life and raised two beautiful, intelligent daughters together. Our marriage ended when my wife passed away on January 5, 2001. She chose me based on her instantaneous attraction to me. We had chemistry, and it led to decades of love and mutual understanding. So, love at first sight does happen.

Rori: To me, chemistry is when a man touches me—on my arm, my face— and it just feels magical. The body, the smell, the touch, the brain, everything is working on overdrive. That’s chemistry. It’s definitely a strong starting point that suggests something deeper between people. Instantaneous lust can fold into love.

Body language can make or break a first impression. Guys have it a little easier, because they shake hands to say hello or goodbye. They’re not expected to initiate physical contact like a hug. A guy, on a first date, needs to greet his partner with a friendly smile, a gentle touch on her shoulder or arm. His body language should be very respectful and convey that he is interested. A touch on the lower back, for example, as you’re going to your table at the restaurant, is very sexy.

For women who are seriously looking for their perfect match, going over the top with touching isn’t the way to go. I’ve heard of women flashing their new implants at a date, showing too much cleavage, or jumping straight into kissing when they’ve never even spent time with the guy! They definitely get the guy’s attention, but the message they’re sending is, you can have all this and you don’t have to earn it. A woman who does that is a one-night stand waiting to happen, and she will need to reel it in if she wants to find lasting love. A man who sees those signals and has easy access to your body is not going to respect you, and he’s not going to perceive you as a serious match. He’ll see a one-night stand, not the love of his life.

And that goes both ways, for men and women. If you want to get married, act like it. Dress like it. Put out those vibes that say I’m marriage material. Otherwise, you’re better off playing the field and sparing yourself the effort and the heartbreak.

I say, keep it classy sexy. A little skin, a little touch. You don’t need to give the whole thing away to keep someone’s attention. Part of chemistry is the mystery. It draws someone closer. You don’t make that connection by stripping and jumping in the pool on the first date. Memorable? Sure. But I wouldn’t want to take it to that level the first few months.

Chemistry isn’t just a quality everyone has. It has to be cultivated. Think about it like this: if your soulmate comes up and taps you on the shoulder and he’s wearing a hideous sweater and has the worst teeth you’ve ever seen and smells like capers, are you going to think, yeah, that’s the guy for me or are you going to think twice? Everything about that moment is unappealing. The smell, the touch, the sweater. A man who is putting himself out there needs to consider how he’s making the woman feel. He should be making her feel good, not making her hold her nose.

We are looking for love without compromise. Chemistry is that first positive reaction to someone. You shouldn’t have to talk yourself off the ledge between the first and second dates or make up compromises in your head when you just met someone. You should feel butterflies! If you’re thinking, He’s got a great smile, but oh my God, his whole wardrobe should go straight into the dumpster then you’re not in the moment. You’re analyzing, not feeling. That’s the opposite of romantic.

Dr. Gluck: Chemistry means you’ve found someone whose essence is complementary to yours, in some way. They’ve got the right stuff, and it grasps your attention.

To learn what makes up your personal chemistry, answer the questions below. In order to make the most of your personal attractiveness, you need to understand how you look on the outside, and what messages you’re sending with your body language. Our beliefs are often mirrored in our gestures, clothing and grooming, and unconscious behaviors. Profile yourself by taking a look in the mirror—and at your partner, current or past. You can also work through these questions with a best friend, family member, or person you trust to be completely honest with you.

When you’re answering these questions, keep in mind that you can assess your current relationship, any past relationship, or the relationship you’d like to have in the future.

➢ I believe my four best and four worst attributes are ________________.

➢ My partner’s four best and four worst attributes are ________________.

➢ I can improve myself by ________________.

➢ The chemistry in my relationship is ________________.

➢ Right now, I most value ________________.

➢ My favorite thing about myself is ________________.

➢ People are attracted to me because ________________.

Rori: Attraction must be more than skin deep. If you don’t have the physical, mental, and emotional connections, then it’s just infatuation, not love. The buck stops with the initial attraction and that’s it. The word love is used all the time in our culture. But when we talk about love, we have to define what it is—and isn’t.

Chemistry is being drawn to the way the person looks, sounds, and smells. All your senses are engaged. But you don’t yet know who he is. That’s the mystery that chemistry creates. It tempts you. You have to get to know the person before you can love him. When you go through a crisis with someone, you see how he or she reacts and it provides insight into the person’s character. When someone is really down in the dumps and you’re still there, that’s love.

Want to Socialize? Ditch Social Media!

Rori: Dating is a lost art. I hear so many people complain that they’re looking for a connection, but they can’t seem to find it. When someone says that, I ask them: where are you looking? Every time, the story is the same. They are desperately scrolling through dating apps, swiping, sending messages. They think that’s dating, but it’s really shopping. Don’t get me wrong, I love to shop too, but if I was spending top dollar on the biggest purchase of my life—bigger than a car, bigger than a home—you bet I wouldn’t get it off Amazon. If you were buying a bespoke, designer handbag that you had to carry everywhere you went, every day, for the rest of your life, you would absolutely invest in