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The Vagina Break: and 9 other breakthroughs
The Vagina Break: and 9 other breakthroughs
The Vagina Break: and 9 other breakthroughs
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The Vagina Break: and 9 other breakthroughs

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Vulnerable, moving, and powerful. This book shares the 10 breakthroughs that the author went through on her journey to overcome a tumultuous past of sexual and physical abuse. She also shares the many losses that helped her discover her true self. Her breakthroughs are analyzed under the lens of the psychological theory developed by Erik Erikson's eight stages of psychosocial development. The author tells her story through anecdotes and original poetry to connect emotions in a heartfelt way. This is clearly a woman's story of how a woman becomes a woman.

This book allows you to see into the deeply personal process of self-discovery. This is a story for not only survivors, but students of life. Although the journey was at times exhausting, the author always understood that each step took self-reflection and ownership. Her breakthrough of becoming the woman she needed to be was "The Vagina Break". This is her story, and this is her journey.
LanguageEnglish
PublisherBookBaby
Release dateDec 20, 2021
ISBN9781667820767
The Vagina Break: and 9 other breakthroughs

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    Book preview

    The Vagina Break - Andrea Wallace

    A picture containing text, underwear, underpants Description automatically generated

    © 2021 Andrea Wallace

    ISBN: 978-1-66-782076-7

    All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

    Table of Contents

    Hope and Security

    Stages 1-3

    Breakthrough 1: Andi

    Breakthrough 2: Superman

    Breakthrough 3: Clark Kent

    Breakthrough 4: Voice and Choice

    Hope begets Confusion

    Stages 4-5

    Breakthrough 5: Mommy

    Breakthrough 6: Child Guilt

    Breakthrough 7: The Vagina Break

    Breakthrough 8: Mourning is Great!

    Confusion Begets Love

    Stages 6-7

    Breakthrough 9: To thine own self be true.

    Breakthrough 10: Harvest Season

    Words Unspoken

    Ain’t I a Woman

    Naked

    The World’s Whore

    Intimacy

    I fucking Hate you

    Time

    He Calls

    Strangers

    Homeless

    Lay Your Burdens Down: The Penitence

    The awakening

    The Rebirth

    I Apologize

    The Lover In You

    No Rhyme No Reason

    Normal

    I’m Falling

    Don’t Ask

    Inhale Exhale Breathe

    My Muse

    Possibilities

    Come away with me

    After the Love has Gone

    Love Trends

    A Stoned Heart

    Reflections

    Mourning

    The Patient One

    The Precious Ring

    Running

    Conditions of Clarity

    Death Becomes You

    The War of Despair and Hope

    Will they Cry

    I have no more Poetry

    I’ve Forgotten

    Reclaiming Time

      During undergraduate studies, I took classes in psychology and child development. One of the theories I most believed in and accepted was Erik Erikson’s eight stages of psychosocial development. According to Erikson, a person develops through eight stages throughout life, each stage centered around a psychosocial crisis. The success of that stage revolves around the previous stages. A person can become successful within that developmental stage at the time, or with work master it later during another stage. A healthy psychosocially developed adult has successfully developed each stage. What this means in summary, is if you don’t work on your crap while you can, it will just be a pile of crap waiting for you later. So, this is my attempt to deal with my crap and take you on the journey of my breakthroughs. This is not a scholarly look into psychological and social development. In this book, I will not speak to what this doctor has said and what this article has said. In it, I have spoken my truth of how I developed to become a woman. A woman full of life, full of love, and full of reflection. I do not consider myself broken nor do I believe I was ever broken; what I do believe is that I only understood pieces of myself. I see myself as a beautifully created quilt, each piece having its own story its own purpose. My job was to unravel those stories and pieces and begin to understand them as it relates to me as a whole. Sometimes, while writing this, I unraveled even more; as is life, you are constantly unrevealing and unraveling new things. Life is a learning process. So sometimes, I will bring to you a new thought or a new insight that occurred to me while I was writing. Instead of polishing it, I chose to keep these things as raw as allowed. I want you to see my process. I had to do the work to say, Now I understand, then connect it to the next piece. So no, I was never broken, but the job becomes exhausting, and it takes self-reflection, ownership, and patience to deal with each piece in its truth. So, at times I may have felt broken but that was just my breakthrough. My breakthrough of becoming the woman I needed to be, what I call the Vagina break.

    I’m in Mourning

    I’m in mourning for all the diamonds in the rough

    Told to be queens without given the means

    I’m in Mourning

    For the morning souls who woke up with the sun’s heat

    On their faces but a coldness in their hearts

    I mourn for the little girl who’s left aimlessly to walk her own path

    I mourn the teenage girl who looked for herself amongst the street rubble

    I mourn the woman who found herself picking up shattered glass

    That resembled her dreams

    I mourn for the vagina that gave birth to hopelessness

    And false notions

    I mourn for all things broken

    Because even with all lives mattering

    Your healing was overlooked

    Hope and Security

    Stages 1-3

    Stage 1- Trust vs Mistrust

    Stage 2- Independence vs Shame/doubt

    Stage 3- Initiative vs guilt

    Breakthrough 1: Andi

    If I am to begin with the theme of stages, stage one is trust vs. mistrust. This is the most important stage, as it sets the individual’s personality and modes how they perceive the world. The question at this stage is, Can I trust the people around me? Successfully passing this stage enables a person to have an established trust in their environment; whereas unsuccessfully passing this stage causes anxiety, fear, and a distrust of one’s environment.

    Like with most stories of youth, this one is secondhand. I was there but too young to remember, though I believe I felt it. I believe I absorbed it into my essence, and it molded me and shaped my being. The story was told to me countless times—first by my sister, then my aunt, and even my father told me bits and pieces. So, I take it for what it deems to be. The truth.

    My mother had been in an unrequited love type of marriage. She became a young mother with my sister, and now eight years and some months later, she was pregnant with me. My father didn’t want her. She was once a trophy girlfriend, now reduced to a nagging bitch. She had hoped that I would bring back the love, so I was her hope. When my father found out about the pregnancy, he would later tell me, he was happy because he said he was hoping I was a boy, as was my mother. I don’t know why my father hoped for a boy so badly—maybe he felt he needed a namesake. I truly don’t understand the fascination of having boys specifically over girls. I don’t know how their relationship was during my mother’s pregnancy, but I assume they shared some happiness. Finally, my birth arrived, and to spare you the drama of it all, I’ll just say that all my parents’ hopes disappeared. I was not hope, I was despair. My father looked at me and frowned, Another girl. He walked away and out of our lives. I wish that I could have been the glue

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