The Vagina Break: and 9 other breakthroughs
()
About this ebook
This book allows you to see into the deeply personal process of self-discovery. This is a story for not only survivors, but students of life. Although the journey was at times exhausting, the author always understood that each step took self-reflection and ownership. Her breakthrough of becoming the woman she needed to be was "The Vagina Break". This is her story, and this is her journey.
Related to The Vagina Break
Related ebooks
Uppity Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsFinding Me Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5I Am: The Story of Me Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHow to Make a Man Happy: A Guide for Women Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings#SpeakLife: Your Tongue Has The Power of Life & Death Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsI'm Alive! A Journey to Emotional Healing Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsFearlessly Made You: Surviving and Thriving in a Perfectly Imperfect Life Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWhen Love Isn't Enough: Life After Dealing With A Narcissist Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMy Peace of Happy: A Self-Love Journey to Happiness, Purpose and Lifestyle Success Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Souls of My Young Sisters: Young Women Break Their Silence with Personal Stories That Will Change Your Life Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsFemale Warriors: Healing Testimonials Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsA Fistful of Honey Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Evolution of Her: Redefining Your Beliefs about Your Feminine Identity Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsLiving with a Vagina: ’You Show Me Yours, I’Ll Show You Mine’ Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHandle with Care: A young woman's guide to identity, self-worth, purpose, and relationship Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsLove Letters to Myself Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Unstoppable Warrior Woman: Inspirational Stories of Women who Overcame the Odds and Chose to Thrive Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsFiercely Speaking: A Step-by-Step Guide for Ordinary Women Who Are Ready to Awaken Their Extraordinary Voice Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsShifting Paradigms For Women Seeing Yourself Through New Eyes Instructor Guide: Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsYes Girl Yes!: God’s Love Looks so Good on You Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Sex The Lies The Soul Ties Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBe Still: How to Finally Have Success in Singleness and Dating Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSoul Ties, Unchain My Heart Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Redemption of a Good Girl Gone Bad Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWe Are Not Broken: a True Story of Abuse, Alcoholism and Anxiety Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHope, Healing, and Help for Survivors of Sexual Abuse: A Faith-Based Journey to Healing Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsIT Is What YOU Say IT Is: YOU Determine Your Worth! Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsAnger 101: The Healthy Approach to Being a Bitch Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Unspoken Identity: The Woman with Two Vaginas Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Limerence, Love Bombs & Loneliness Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Women's Biographies For You
The Glass Castle: A Memoir Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Stories We Tell: Every Piece of Your Story Matters Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Down the Rabbit Hole: Curious Adventures and Cautionary Tales of a Former Playboy Bunny Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Wuthering Heights Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Stash: My Life in Hiding Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Barracoon: The Story of the Last "Black Cargo" Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Woman They Wanted: Shattering the Illusion of the Good Christian Wife Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Everything I Know About Love: A Memoir Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Vanderbilt: The Rise and Fall of an American Dynasty Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5By the Time You Read This: The Space between Cheslie's Smile and Mental Illness—Her Story in Her Own Words Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Hunger: A Memoir of (My) Body Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Just Kids: An Autobiography Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Gulag Archipelago [Volume 1]: An Experiment in Literary Investigation Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Ordeal Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Finding Me: An Oprah's Book Club Pick Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Girl with Seven Names: A North Korean Defector’s Story Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Breaking Free: How I Escaped Polygamy, the FLDS Cult, and My Father, Warren Jeffs Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Why We Can't Sleep: Women's New Midlife Crisis Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5World of Wonders: In Praise of Fireflies, Whale Sharks, and Other Astonishments Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Pilgrim's Regress Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5First, We Make the Beast Beautiful: A New Journey Through Anxiety Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Notes from a Small Island Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Confessions of a Prairie Bitch: How I Survived Nellie Oleson and Learned to Love Being Hated Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Pure: Inside the Evangelical Movement That Shamed a Generation of Young Women and How I Broke Free Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Babysitter: My Summers with a Serial Killer Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
Reviews for The Vagina Break
0 ratings0 reviews
Book preview
The Vagina Break - Andrea Wallace
© 2021 Andrea Wallace
ISBN: 978-1-66-782076-7
All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
Table of Contents
Hope and Security
Stages 1-3
Breakthrough 1: Andi
Breakthrough 2: Superman
Breakthrough 3: Clark Kent
Breakthrough 4: Voice and Choice
Hope begets Confusion
Stages 4-5
Breakthrough 5: Mommy
Breakthrough 6: Child Guilt
Breakthrough 7: The Vagina Break
Breakthrough 8: Mourning is Great!
Confusion Begets Love
Stages 6-7
Breakthrough 9: To thine own self be true.
Breakthrough 10: Harvest Season
Words Unspoken
Ain’t I a Woman
Naked
The World’s Whore
Intimacy
I fucking Hate you
Time
He Calls
Strangers
Homeless
Lay Your Burdens Down: The Penitence
The awakening
The Rebirth
I Apologize
The Lover In You
No Rhyme No Reason
Normal
I’m Falling
Don’t Ask
Inhale Exhale Breathe
My Muse
Possibilities
Come away with me
After the Love has Gone
Love Trends
A Stoned Heart
Reflections
Mourning
The Patient One
The Precious Ring
Running
Conditions of Clarity
Death Becomes You
The War of Despair and Hope
Will they Cry
I have no more Poetry
I’ve Forgotten
Reclaiming Time
During undergraduate studies, I took classes in psychology and child development. One of the theories I most believed in and accepted was Erik Erikson’s eight stages of psychosocial development. According to Erikson, a person develops through eight stages throughout life, each stage centered around a psychosocial crisis. The success of that stage revolves around the previous stages. A person can become successful within that developmental stage at the time, or with work master it later during another stage. A healthy psychosocially developed adult has successfully developed each stage. What this means in summary, is if you don’t work on your crap while you can, it will just be a pile of crap waiting for you later. So, this is my attempt to deal with my crap and take you on the journey of my breakthroughs. This is not a scholarly look into psychological and social development. In this book, I will not speak to what this doctor has said and what this article has said. In it, I have spoken my truth of how I developed to become a woman. A woman full of life, full of love, and full of reflection. I do not consider myself broken nor do I believe I was ever broken; what I do believe is that I only understood pieces of myself. I see myself as a beautifully created quilt, each piece having its own story its own purpose. My job was to unravel those stories and pieces and begin to understand them as it relates to me as a whole. Sometimes, while writing this, I unraveled even more; as is life, you are constantly unrevealing and unraveling new things. Life is a learning process. So sometimes, I will bring to you a new thought or a new insight that occurred to me while I was writing. Instead of polishing it, I chose to keep these things as raw as allowed. I want you to see my process. I had to do the work to say, Now I understand,
then connect it to the next piece. So no, I was never broken, but the job becomes exhausting, and it takes self-reflection, ownership, and patience to deal with each piece in its truth. So, at times I may have felt broken but that was just my breakthrough. My breakthrough of becoming the woman I needed to be, what I call the Vagina break.
I’m in Mourning
I’m in mourning for all the diamonds in the rough
Told to be queens without given the means
I’m in Mourning
For the morning souls who woke up with the sun’s heat
On their faces but a coldness in their hearts
I mourn for the little girl who’s left aimlessly to walk her own path
I mourn the teenage girl who looked for herself amongst the street rubble
I mourn the woman who found herself picking up shattered glass
That resembled her dreams
I mourn for the vagina that gave birth to hopelessness
And false notions
I mourn for all things broken
Because even with all lives mattering
Your healing was overlooked
Hope and Security
Stages 1-3
Stage 1- Trust vs Mistrust
Stage 2- Independence vs Shame/doubt
Stage 3- Initiative vs guilt
Breakthrough 1: Andi
If I am to begin with the theme of stages, stage one is trust vs. mistrust. This is the most important stage, as it sets the individual’s personality and modes how they perceive the world. The question at this stage is, Can I trust the people around me?
Successfully passing this stage enables a person to have an established trust in their environment; whereas unsuccessfully passing this stage causes anxiety, fear, and a distrust of one’s environment.
Like with most stories of youth, this one is secondhand. I was there but too young to remember, though I believe I felt it. I believe I absorbed it into my essence, and it molded me and shaped my being. The story was told to me countless times—first by my sister, then my aunt, and even my father told me bits and pieces. So, I take it for what it deems to be. The truth.
My mother had been in an unrequited love type of marriage. She became a young mother with my sister, and now eight years and some months later, she was pregnant with me. My father didn’t want her. She was once a trophy girlfriend, now reduced to a nagging bitch. She had hoped that I would bring back the love, so I was her hope. When my father found out about the pregnancy, he would later tell me, he was happy because he said he was hoping I was a boy, as was my mother. I don’t know why my father hoped for a boy so badly—maybe he felt he needed a namesake. I truly don’t understand the fascination of having boys specifically over girls. I don’t know how their relationship was during my mother’s pregnancy, but I assume they shared some happiness. Finally, my birth arrived, and to spare you the drama of it all, I’ll just say that all my parents’ hopes disappeared. I was not hope, I was despair. My father looked at me and frowned, Another girl.
He walked away and out of our lives. I wish that I could have been the glue