Steal The Show: From Speeches to Job Interviews to Deal-Closing Pitches, How to Guarantee a Standing Ovation for All the Performances in Your Life

Contents

Title Page

Contents

Copyright

Dedication

Epigraph

Author’s Note: All the World’s a Stage

Prologue: Make the Most of the Spotlight Moments in Your Life

THE PERFORMER’S MINDSET

Find Your Voice

Play the Right Role in Every Situation

Crush Your Fears and Silence the Critics

POWERFUL PERFORMANCE PRINCIPLES

Have a Clear Objective

Act As if . . .

Raise the Stakes

Say Yes, and . . .

Be in the Moment

Choose Early and Often

A MASTER CLASS IN PUBLIC SPEAKING

How to Craft Captivating Pitches, Speeches, and Stories

How to Create and Tell Stories That Make ’Em Laugh or Cry

How to Rehearse and Stage World-Class Performances

How to Produce Powerful Openings, Commanding Closings, and Amazing Audience Interaction

How to Improvise Your Way into the Hearts and Minds of the Toughest Crowds

How to Get a Standing Ovation Every Time—Really

Epilogue: All’s Well That Ends Well

The Cheat Sheet: The 50 Public Speaking Tips You Can’t Afford to Ignore If You Want to Wow Your Audience and Win Praise and Plaudits Every Time

Acknowledgments

Notes

Index

Thank You

About the Author

Connect with HMH

First Mariner Books edition 2016

Copyright © 2015 by Michael Port

All rights reserved

For information about permission to reproduce selections from this book, write to trade.permissions@hmhco.com or to Permissions, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company, 3 Park Avenue, 19th Floor, New York, New York 10016.

www.hmhco.com

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Port, Michael, date.

Steal the show : from speeches to job interviews to deal-closing pitches, how to guarantee a standing ovation for all the performances in your life / Michael Port.

pages cm

ISBN 978-0-544-55518-1 (hardback)—ISBN 978-0-544-55519-8 (ebook)—ISBN 978-0-544-80084-7 (pbk.)

1. Business presentations. 2. Business communication. 3. Employment interviewing. 4. Interpersonal communication. I. Title.

HF5718.22.P67 2015

658.4'52—dc23

2015017313

Cover design © Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

v4.1016

for AMY

All the world’s a stage,

And all the men and women merely players;

They have their exits and their entrances,

And one man in his time plays many parts . . .

—William Shakespeare, As You Like It

Author’s Note

All the World’s a Stage

YOU MAY HAVE PICKED UP THIS BOOK for many reasons. Perhaps you have a speech to deliver at an industry conference. Maybe you’re attempting to land a big project. You could be preparing for a job interview that will make or break your career. Maybe you’re cramming for a meeting you’ll be leading with senior staff in attendance eyeballing your performance. It’s possible you want to pitch a new business idea and you have to present it to a group of venture capitalists or bank executives. While these are distinct experiences they share a common thread: they all require you to perform.

Which is really scary. No matter how clever you are or how good you are at what you do, the performance side of these events can be anxiety provoking and intimidating.

And, when I say perform, I don’t just mean that you will do something or complete something. I mean that you will present, act, stage, show, or dramatize; put on a performance that delights, impresses, wows, connects, or moves people to think, feel, or do something different.

You may think that only actors perform—onstage or in the movies—but the reality is, we are all performers. Think about it. When you Skype for a conference call or speak on a panel, you’re performing. When you use social media or describe yourself on a dating site, you’re presenting yourself in a particular way and are therefore performing. When you express yourself in meetings, pitch a client, or walk into a job interview, you’re performing. Even when you’re trying to play it cool and keep a low profile, you’re performing. (C’mon, admit it—that time you were at your boss’s holiday party and you were sipping your drink casually by the pool with a look of quiet thoughtfulness, you were performing too.) Whether we want to admit it or not, our professional lives are full of public moments we can’t escape and can’t afford to screw up. In our personal lives, we’re often called upon to deliver toasts, eulogies, graduation remarks, or inspirational talks before a civic group—even a first date is a kind of performance.

The irony is, most of us have to perform, even though we don’t see ourselves as performers.

Yet, I can almost hear you saying, Well, I’m not really a performer and I’m certainly not an actor; in fact, I’m far from it. Actors love the spotlight and can’t wait to get onstage. I’m shy and I get visibly nervous when I have to speak in front of others.

Well, I have good news for you. That’s fantastic. No, it’s better than that. It’s a you-just-won-the-lottery kind of fantastic. You’re exactly the person for whom I’ve written this book.

In Steal the Show, you’ll discover the role you want to play in the show that is your own life. You’ll decide whether you are up for a leading or supporting role. Often we make the choice to play small because we haven’t given ourselves the chance to see the big opportunities in front of us. Not everyone is going to be a comedian or even a natural-born entertainer. But you don’t need to be an entertainer to be a performer. Performance can be about wowing an audience, but it can also simply be about connecting with others, which is a beautiful thing.

Through this book you will learn how to leverage performance skills along with what you know—your backstory, beliefs, expertise, and values—to find the authenticity in the roles you choose to play. Finding this authenticity and then having the courage to use it is how you become an effective communicator and leader—no matter how nervous you may feel reading this today.

As a writer, professional speaker, and owner of multiple businesses, I am often scared myself, but I have also learned that it’s what we do with that fear that makes us who we are. In this book, I reveal how I was only able to meet the goals I’d set for myself by fully embracing my fears and drawing upon what my classical training as an actor at NYU’s Graduate Acting Program taught me about the power of great performances.

You see, my first career was as an actor. This was well before I was a business owner and wrote five business books, including Book Yourself Solid, Book Yourself Solid Illustrated, Beyond Booked Solid, The Contrarian Effect, and The Think Big Manifesto. Maybe you saw me on some of your favorite TV programs in the ’90s, including Sex & the City, Third Watch, All My Children, and Law and Order, among others—only then with a full head of hair.

I’m buzzing with anticipation to share with you the most amazing way that the dramatic concepts of acting, stagecraft, and improvisation can help you communicate, speak, make deals, build and run a business, market your products, and try new things. I’m living proof that an actor’s knowledge can be translated into everyday tactics that anyone can adopt and use for professional success.

In fact, when I retired from the ranks of professional actors, I nailed my first corporate job interview (for which I was completely unqualified). I landed the part because of my ability to authentically play the role required. I pulled it off by in effect saying, I know on paper I’m not qualified for this position, but here’s why I think you should hire me. I was able to do this because of the principles and techniques I had mastered as an actor.

I have spent the better part of this decade creating a modern methodology that can help you become a better performer. Through this book, I will teach you everyday performance principles and techniques that I’ve designed specifically for nonactors so you can overcome your fears; silence your critics, both internal and external; find your voice; and become a confident performer in the spotlight.

Acting is not a metaphor but rather a model that you can apply to both life and work.

Why do I say this? Because, to paraphrase the legendary acting teacher Lee Strasberg, an actor’s work is about the ability to consistently create reality and to express that reality. And that is in large part the way that life works for all of us. Each day we have the ability to create our reality. I don’t mean this as an abundance theory, that we’re using affirmations or writing poetry (neither of which I do but both of which are perfectly good things to do), but rather that all of us inevitably make choices about what we want to achieve every day and over the course of years and decades. Those choices form a narrative, a narrative that tells the story of our lives. In parallel, we have choices about how we will express ourselves publicly to meet those aspirations. Performance, at its core, is about how you communicate and, by extension, how you connect with others on a daily basis. The truth behind why some performers captivate an audience while others lull an audience into checking their phones is found in the creative history and unique craft of acting, which can be used as a model for successful performance in both personal and professional life.

We may not have had the pleasure of meeting, but through the pages of this book we’ll be spending time together. I know that many people compete for your attention and that you have many demands on your time. I feel blessed and grateful to have the opportunity to be of service to you, and I never take that honor for granted. I’m here for you, as are my partners and team. If you or your organization ever needs help, please don’t hesitate to contact us at questions@michaelport.com, or visit StealTheShow.com for more information, including free tips and video training lessons on public speaking. And, most importantly, as you read through the pages of this book, please remember to think big about who you are and what you offer the world.

Warmly,

Michael Port

Prologue

Make the Most of the Spotlight Moments in Your Life

FOR OUR WORK TOGETHER, please note the following:

Steal the Show is about how you can use insights from the craft of acting to improve all the performances in your life: give better speeches, nail interviews, close deals, have effective conversations, lead teams, and, as crazy as it might seem, have even more love and romance in your life. Steal the Show is not about acting and is not for actors. It’s for you, the nonactor. Moreover, there’s nothing inherently special about actors as compared to people in any other profession. Rather, it’s what you learn from acting (as applied to all the performances in your life) that’s of great value.

Throughout the book, when I say audience I’m referring to anyone who is party to or part of your performance in any way: an interviewer, a supervisor, your staff, a client, a romantic interest, a project team, wedding guests, students, the members of your local Chamber of Commerce, and, of course, a theater full of attendees at a convention.

In the theater, the concept of stealing the show is a gift to the audience and your fellow performers. Sure, the performer who steals the show gets a standing ovation and benefits from the personal accolades her performance has brought about—but there is no greater gift to the audience than for someone to steal the show. The audience wants to be blown away by a performance. And the same applies in settings other than theater. Don’t confuse stealing the show with upstaging other performers, which is a big no-no. Stealing the show is ultimately about how you can make any performance better for your audience (remember my definition of audience from above).

Acting at its best is, in fact, grounded in reality. By learning from it, you’ll be more confident and comfortable (and less terrified) every time you’re expected to carry the moment as a speaker, presenter, leader, or player in any of life’s most important moments.

Through this book you will learn how to understand and act upon insights, including how to:

Overcome stage fright and become comfortable in your own body, and then how to live in the moment during public presentations, from one-on-one meetings to sales calls to keynote talks;

Take smart risks and raise the stakes in business and personal situations;

Master the elements of writing and storytelling so you can change minds and lives;

Use the underappreciated power of acting as if . . . to find your voice and confidence in new or nerve-wracking networking and speaking situations;

Understand the technique of saying yes, and . . . , which leads to better meetings, conference calls, team performances, and presentations;

Imagine and step into new roles personally and professionally without feeling phony;

Draw on the power of performance to influence others and silence the critics;

Master the elements of effective rehearsal for all situations where you need to impress and move people to think, feel, or act differently;

Use the secrets of improvisation so when things go wrong, you can actually turn those moments into the best moments of your show and perhaps your life.

But that’s only the beginning. The techniques and principles I’ll teach you apply to the demands of just about any profession; consulting, professional services, management, marketing, small business and entrepreneurship, computing, teaching, nonprofit leadership—you name it. These techniques and principles also help in life’s many unpredictable moments, such as stepping in for the boss at a big meeting, attending a new professional meet-up when you’re tired and out of sorts, or delivering an improvised speech at a nephew’s graduation party.

EXPRESS YOURSELF WITH CLEAR INTENT AND PURPOSE

What I share with you in Steal the Show will also help you be honest and true to yourself and your abilities and not act in ways that can be seen as phony or self-promoting. The best performers in the world are the most honest ones. Many of the world’s best performers are quiet, dedicated, sensitive artists who reserve their energy for their work in service of an audience. In fact, the most important elements of preparing for a great performance have less to do with self-expression and more to do with self-understanding. Self-expression is often simply used as a means of emoting or sharing how you feel. Self-understanding allows you to express yourself with clear intent and purpose that resonates with the people around you.

The rub is that being honest, emotionally available, vulnerable, and transparent in front of others can be terrifying. To combat stage fright, people have been told that they should picture the audience in their underwear. That’s some of the worst (and weirdest) advice ever given, for two reasons: First, if you think about your audience in their underwear or, worse yet, naked, then it’s going to be really difficult to focus on your presentation. Second, seeing the people all around you in their full glory may, in reality, actually make you even more nervous. The truth is . . . it’s the performer who’s naked—metaphorically speaking, of course. As the great actress Rosalind Russell once observed: Acting is standing up naked and turning around very slowly.

Being worried about performing in public affects almost everybody. If you’re nervous about your next presentation or speech, well, that’s only natural. If the butterflies are propagating and swarming and making your stomach stew and your heartbeat hammer, that’s to be expected. But once you learn how to live with these fears, you will show the people on your team and many others the way forward.

Performing and communicating are always about building up, not tearing down. You can be a critic or a performer, I believe, but you can’t be both. Anyone can tear something down; the trick is to build something better in its place. As a performer and an active player in my own life and work, I have little interest in critics. Great performances require taking risks. To take those risks not only do you need to silence the external critics, you also need to let go of the inner critic that tries to worry you about the fear of rejection.

FIND YOUR VOICE

Great performances are developed and won from the inside out. You won’t communicate and speak successfully just by learning body language, stage tricks, and elocution tips. The benefits will fade and you’ll revert to old habits that those who get sucked into quick-fix diets know well; a loss of a few pounds is followed by the quick gain of a few more. The simplest way to overcome stage fright or performance anxiety is to actually know what you’re doing when you’re on the stage or in a high-pressure situation. Joni Zander discovered this firsthand during one of the most important moments of her life: My training in Michael Port’s Heroic Public Speaking program came in handy this weekend. I was able to say my wedding vows clearly, confidently, and expressively. Before, I would have cried through the whole thing and not been able to get the words out. Public speaking skills are so important and I’m happy to have had the best training. When you’re finished with this book, you will, without a doubt, know not only how to handle yourself but also how to make the most of the spotlight moments of your life in meetings, interviews, sales presentations, wedding toasts, on big stages, and in dozens of other situations that call on you to carry the day.

If performing were easy, you wouldn’t find 90 million Google results when you search for public speaking. Articles, videos, and books about communications, speaking, and persuasion are as common as actors in LA. But learning to become an effective speaker and performer isn’t like taking a Xanax to manage your anxiety for a day or two. You need more than just a typical laundry list of sophomoric bullet-point tips: know your material, relax, visualize yourself being fabulous, use your hands, make eye contact, gain experience. Rather, it’s about realizing a huge, underserved, and unexplored area of your creative potential in order to become far more successful both professionally and personally. As a participant at one of my public-speaking training events shared: I thought I was coming to learn techniques to be a better communicator and speaker but I was astonished to find that you were able to help me—and every person in the room—find their voice, increase their confidence, be authentic, and think big. I thought that maybe acting or performing was about being phony or staged but what I discovered is that performing is about being more honest and more real. I am, for the better, forever changed. I am grateful.

Maybe you avoid being center stage or in high-stakes situations so you hold yourself back from getting promoted or taking on a new sales territory or going after more sales meetings. Or maybe you think you’re clever and charming and have been getting away with winging it for far too long. Maybe you’re coasting on the laurels of past performances but not staying up to date with technology, with what audiences expect, and most of all, the expansiveness of your own talent. Or maybe you’re dreaming of sharing your message with thousands of people but just don’t yet know how to perform with skill, style, grace, and impact. Perhaps you’re just tired of sitting in the cheap seats of life watching others steal the show.

Whether you lack confidence or experience, or you do have experience but found you’ve hit a wall in your approach and want to discover how you can get even better, my answer is yes, you can steal the show.

HOW MY METHOD WORKS

Now that I’ve shared the premise of the book and why the techniques actors use are so essential to work-related and other performances, let’s discuss where we’re going and how this is all going to work. Steal the Show is divided into three parts that are made up of different chapters.

Part I: The Performer’s Mindset

In Part I, you’ll learn the keys to the performer’s mindset. You’ll begin by finding your voice and the strength to use it. You’ll discover how to play the right role in any situation and learn that you can authentically (there’s that word again) play many different roles in many different scenarios. Of course, first you need to identify the various roles you already play, along with which ones you want to keep playing and which ones you want to retire. Then you will once and for all crush your fears and silence the critics . . . you know, the ones front and center inside your head as well as those in the cheap seats who invariably find fault with others. Through this process, the Performer’s Mindset will prepare you, psychologically and emotionally, to perform in ways that overcome objections and stir the heart.

Chapter 1: Find Your Voice

This is the first step to mastering the inner game of standing out. You’ll finally embrace and choose to own your specific and unique strengths as a performer. This is where you dispel the doubts about the roles you want to play and the dreams you want to live. You’ll examine your self-image and prejudices about performing, inventory your mental filters, and scrape away your false personae.

Chapter 2: Play the Right Role in Every Situation

You may see yourself as one kind of performer but have