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    Summary of How to Know a Person By David Brooks: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen
    Summary of How to Know a Person By David Brooks: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen
    Summary of How to Know a Person By David Brooks: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen
    Ebook69 pages1 hour

    Summary of How to Know a Person By David Brooks: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen

    By Willie M. Joseph

    2.5/5

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    DISCLAIMER

     

    This book does not in any capacity mean to replace the original book but to serve as a vast summary of the original book.

    Summary of How to Know a Person By David Brooks: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen


    IN THIS SUMMARIZED BOOK, YOU WILL GET:

    • Chapter astute outline of the main contents.
    • Fast & simple understanding of the content analysis.
    • Exceptionally summarized content that you may skip in the original book

     

    David Brooks' How to Know a Person is a practical guide to understanding others, focusing on the skill of seeing them deeply and making them feel valued. The book offers a hopeful, integrated approach to human connection, drawing from psychology, neuroscience, theater, philosophy, history, and education. Brooks argues that seeing others is profoundly creative, as it allows us to see something larger in them and in ourselves. The book is for anyone searching for connection and yearning to be understood, offering a solution to a society plagued by fragmentation, hostility, and misperception.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherWillie M. Joseph
    Release dateOct 25, 2023
    ISBN9798223803379
    Summary of How to Know a Person By David Brooks: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen
    Author

    Willie M. Joseph

    Willie M. Joseph summaries get straight to the point and provide essential tools to help you be an informed reader in a busy world, whether you’re browsing for new discoveries, managing your to-read list for work or school, or simply deepening your knowledge. Available for nonfiction titles, these are the book summaries that are worth your time.  

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    Book preview

    Summary of How to Know a Person By David Brooks - Willie M. Joseph

    PART 1

    I See You

    The Power of Being Seen

    The author grew up in a Jewish family, which was reserved and stiff-upper-lip. Despite this, the author found love in their home and did not express it. As a result, the author became detached and detached from others. They felt most alive when writing and found it difficult to connect with others. When they were eighteen, they were accepted into the University of Chicago, a Baptist school where atheist professors teach Jewish students Saint Thomas Aquinas.

    The author was a practiced escape artist, making meaningful eye contact with people's shoes and then excusing themselves to keep a vital appointment with a dry cleaner. This repressed way of living was driven by fear of intimacy, vulnerability, and social ineptitude. One small incident, a baseball fan's bat shattered, symbolized this repressed way of living. The author felt awkward when someone tried to connect with them, but didn't know what to say.

    Becoming a father was an emotional revolution for the author, as they absorbed the blows of broken relationships, public failures, and vulnerability that comes with getting older. This experience introduced them to deeper, repressed parts of themselves. The author's upbringing and experiences have helped him navigate the emotional ice age and find joy in life.

    The author shares his journey towards becoming a full human being, starting with a panel discussion at the Public Theater in New York. He was invited to participate in the panel, which was meant to discuss the role of the arts in public life. The author's experience led him to realize that living detached from life is a withdrawal from oneself and others. He wrote books on emotion, moral character, and spiritual growth, which helped him become more vulnerable and emotionally expressive in public.

    Over time, he began to change his life goals, focusing on being wise and compassionate. He also learned that being open-hearted is a prerequisite for being a full, kind, and wise human being. However, social skills are also crucial for building relationships and creating communities. These skills involve performing small, concrete social actions well, such as disagreeing without poisoning the relationship, revealing vulnerability, being a good listener, ending conversations gracefully, asking for forgiveness, letting someone down without breaking their heart, sitting with someone who is suffering, hosting gatherings where everyone feels embraced, and seeing things from another's point of view.

    The author believes that Western societies have intentionally built a society that gives people little guidance on how to perform the most important activities of life, leading to loneliness and lack of deep friendships. The loss of moral knowledge and the marginalization of the humanities in education have contributed to this issue. Social media has replaced intimacy with judgment and understanding, making it difficult to learn these skills.

    In this age of creeping dehumanization, the author is obsessed with social skills, focusing on treating people with consideration and understanding the people around them. They believe that the quality of our lives and the health of society depends on how well we treat each other in daily interactions.

    The ability to understand and see others deeply is a fundamental skill that is at the heart of any healthy person, family, school, community organization, or society. It is the ultimate gift humans can give to others and themselves. Human beings need recognition as much as they need food and water, and being indifferent to others is the essence of inhumanity. The sense of being seen and understood is fulfilling, and it is essential for making big decisions in life, such as marriage, hiring, and retaining employees.

    The ability to see others is also important in various professions, such as teaching, medicine, hosting, and parenting. Being seen brings forth growth, as it allows individuals to appreciate their own beauty and strengths, and to understand their frailties and sympathize with others. The roots of resilience, as described by psychologist Diana Fosha, are found in the sense of being understood by and existing in the mind and heart of a loving, attuned, and self-possessed other. In how you see someone, you will learn to see yourself. In summary, the ability to see others deeply and make them feel valued, heard, and understood is a crucial skill for personal and professional growth.

    The author argues that our social skills are inadequate for the pluralistic societies we live in today. People often feel invisible and disrespected, as they are not seen by others or are not seen by their parents or political leaders. To repair these issues, we must learn to do the small things well.

    There are two types of people: Diminishers and Illuminators. Diminishers make people feel small and unseen, stereotype and ignore others, and are involved with themselves. Illuminators have a persistent curiosity about other people and have been trained in understanding others. They shine the brightness of their care on people, making them feel bigger, deeper, respected, and lit up.

    The author suggests that we all go through our days awash in social ignorance. William Ickes, a leading scholar on how accurate

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