FREE EBook Volume 5 Life Lessons

Transactional Analysis and Life Scripting in Relationships and Communication

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Suzanne Tabor

TRANSACTIONAL ANALYSIS AND LIFE SCRIPTING The purpose of writing an article on Transactional Analysis (TA) and Life Scripts on a Kinesiology website is to provide alternate and perhaps to the reader, new dimension to understanding aspects that affect our relationships and communication with others regardless of whether that other, is family and friends; associates; or, clients. All interactions/communications are affected by our previous experiences, and by the constructed and inherited belief systems through which we perceive the world, and the worlds relationship with us. Importantly, in addition to assisting with interacting with others in general, as Practitioners, it is helpful to be able to recognise the scripting and ego state interactions that are occurring in the Clinic/client context. There are various forms of assessing human behaviour, and it is not the intention of this article to delve deeply into the psychology or psychiatry fields but rather to give a general overview of some of the approaches, such as Transactional analysis and Scripting, in laymans terms for consideration. Gestalt Therapy:- Dr Frederick Pearls, a Freudian analyst, used Gestalt psychology to develop gestalt therapy. Gestalt is a German word which means organised whole. Although the approach is different, Gestalt therapy, like Kinesiology, focuses on helping/facilitating the person becoming Whole The aim of Gestalt Therapy is to help people become whole to help them become aware of, and admit to, reclaim, and integrate their fragmented parts. Integration helps a person make the transition from dependency to self sufficiency, from authoritarian outer support to authentic inner support. Gestalt Therapy concentrates on role playing, exaggerating symptoms or behaviour, to experience the situation and to gain more understanding of the situation and the emotions and bodily sensations involved at the time. In Gestalt Therapy the emotional and intellectual insight is gained through the process, with the focus more on the emotional awareness. A Kinesiology comparison would be ESR Past /Future. Gestalt Therapy focuses on the construct of winners and loses. It was the paradigm on which much of the personal development and business management programs were based in the 70s and 80s, and is still deeply rooted in many management and professional belief systems still today. James and Jongeward (1978) proposed that A winner is one who responds authentically by being credible, trustworthy, responsive, and genuine, both as an individual and as a member of society. A loser is one who fails to respond authentically. Perhaps more relevant to Kinesiology, and particularly in terms of client history as it pertains to the session context is Berne, James and Jongewards concepts of Transactional Analysis:- Eric Berne developed Transactional Analysis (TA) focusing on both the emotional and intellectual insight, but primarily on the intellectual lessons to be learnt. He theorized that a persons interactions with other people were based in three observable transactions ego states that of a Child, a Parent, or an Adult. Additionally he say that some of these transactions had

ulterior motives, involved manipulating others through psychological games, or indeed were as though being acted out on a stage, performing to some predetermined script, hence the Ego States and Script Analysis identified in his Transactional Analysis. The Child Ego State is the inner world of feeling, adaptations and experiences, it accesses the permanent recordings in the brain and nervous system of the childhood impulses, how we viewed the world, experienced the world and felt about it, and how we adapted. Parent Ego State Each parent has three unique ego states within their own parent ego state incorporating his/her own parents adult, parent and child ego state, which incorporates the grandparents adult/parent and child ego states also. The Parent ego state contains within it the personalities of emotionally significant authorities from both childhood and adulthood. It needs to be noted that an individual does not necessarily need to be a parent to transact from the parent ego state, but rather to take a parenting perspective or attitude towards another with whom they are transacting. Adult Ego State Ideally as adults, we transact from our adult ego state, regardless of the age or relationship of the person with whom we are communicating. The adult ego state is mature, it is influenced by intelligent responses to experiences and is objective in its observations. Through self awareness the adult ego state draws on information from the Parent and Child egos, assesses the validity of the information and perspective. Constructed and inherited belief systems may inhibit the integration or understanding/transition between ego states. Adult awareness may create trauma causing abdication or denial, or entrance into survival mode type behaviour. Logic may presume that adults transact with each other from their Adult Ego states, but this is not necessarily true and can become the cause of conflict and confusion. For example, if an Adult Ego is identifying challenges and issues needing to be addressed in a workplace, or even in a client session the other party to the transaction may respond from the Child Ego state declaring it all too hard or unfair, or from the Parent Ego state making excuses for the behaviour or that change is too much to expect from the staff. The Adult Ego would assess the viability, strengths and weakness of the proposal and respond logically and intelligently. If you are operating from your Adult Ego and not receiving the appropriate or anticipated responses it may well be that the person with whom your are interacting is responding from another less appropriate ego state. If you find yourself responding illogically, overly emotionally or with agendas not relevant to the circumstances it may well be that it is you who is responding from inappropriate ego state and you would benefit from assessing how your own constructed or inherited belief systems are impacting on your transactions with others. James and Jongeward say The unit of measure in interpersonal relationships is the Transaction. By analysing your transactions, you can gain more conscious control of how you operate with other people and how they operate with you. You can determine when your transactions are complementary, crossed or ulterior. You can also discover what games you play. Transactional Analysis is a practical frame of reference from which you can evaluate old decisions and behaviour and change what you decide is desirable for you to change.

Transactional Analysis is an approach for understanding behaviour and uses the premise that people can learn to trust themselves, think for themselves, make their own decisions, and express their feelings. Transactional Analysis is concerned with four kinds or means of analysing human interactions:Structural Analysis: the analysis of individual personality Transactional Analysis: the analysis of what people do and say to one another Game Analysis: the analysis of ulterior transactions leading to payoff Script Analysis: the analysis of specific life drama that a person compulsively plays out What is a Transaction? James and Jongeward define a transaction in this way Any time one person recognizes another with a smile, a nod, a frown, a verbal greeting ect. This recognition in TA language is a stroke. Two or more strokes make a transaction. All transaction can be classified as Complimentary, Crossed, or Ulterior. A complimentary transaction is the healthy, balanced and natural transaction between two individuals at the expected level and through the anticipated ego state appropriate to the transaction. Example: an adult speaking to another adult to resolve an issue, or a Parent speaking to a Child and receiving the appropriate childlike responses. Two parents may interact when speaking of their children. A crossed transaction is where the expected ego state response is not received and the transaction occurs with a crossed ego state. For example, where an Adult transacts with another adult expecting response from that ego state, but the other responds from their child ego state, as is often the case in arguments. Or a Boss may direct the company from his Parent ego state and the employee responds from the Adult ego state expecting a more mature interaction in the workplace. The transactions can also be direct or indirect, straightforward or diluted, intense or weak. Indirect transactions are those where a third person, knowingly or otherwise is used as the messenger. Diluted messages often contain sarcasm, humour, hostility or feigned affection. Weak transactions are often without feeling, such as polite acknowledgement or superficial responses, promises made with no intention of fulfilment. Ulterior Transactions involve more than one ego state, one disguising the other the socially acceptable one overlaying and hiding the true transaction. Perhaps the most recognizable ulterior transaction is between a parent and toddler who is misbehaving but also doing something that is funny or cute the Adult ego indicates discipline, the Parent ego may be making excuses, and the Child ego may respond to other Adults witnessing the childs behaviour by thinking dont tell me how to raise/discipline my child More sinister are ulterior transactions are the psychological games of kick me; put me down Im used to it or said the spider to the fly, these games are often repetitive, have a superficial rationality about them, and conceal the true motivation of the transaction. These type of games often have a payoff either reaffirming the person own beliefs of unworthiness or superiority, or undermining the self esteem of the other person they will often be played with multiple individuals

for the same self fulfilling result. Games can be played from any of the ego states, but when played from the Adult Ego state they are generally conscious and calculating. The Games or absence of them in the Transaction generally represent one of Four Psychological Positions: 1. Im Ok, Youre Ok (Life is worth living) 2. Im Ok, Youre not Ok (projective) (Your life is not worth much) 3. Im not Ok, Youre Ok (Introjective) (My life is not worth much) 4. Im not ok, Youre not ok (Futility) (Life is not worth anything at all)] Discounting is often an ulterior transaction, and occurs by not taking the problem/person seriously, (its does not matter) denying the significance of the person or problem, (it does not exist), the solution is denied (it cant be helped), the person denies their own ability to resolve the problem (I cant help it, its not my fault) A healthy transaction is one which is straightforward, direct, and intense at least to the extent of being purposeful and is complementary and free of agendas. James and Jongeward How does Transactional Analysis and Scripting apply to Kinesiology? What benefit does this information have in your personal and professional life? Questions to ask yourself and your clients: Who do I feel I am? From the Child experience, the Adult processing and the Parent Opinion? How do other people treat me? As Adult, Child or Parent? Who and why? Who do I want to be? When? Now and in the future? Which Ego state is answering the question? What are my challenges and potentials to achieve who I want to be, and what can I do about them? Do I value my potential and the challenges I have experienced? Do I value that potential of others and their experiences? How do I become all that I am meant to be? Whose script am I playing, and playing in? Mine, my parents, a partners?

The person who really thinks, learns quite as much from his failures as from his successes. John Dewey

References:PERLS, FREDERICK; Gestalt Therapy Verbatim, Lafayette, Calif, People Press, 1969 PERLS Four Lectures: Gestalt Theory Now Palo Alto Science and Behaviour Press, 1970 BERNE, E Games People Play New York, Grove Press, 1964 BERNE, E Social Dynamics: The Intimacy Equipment Transactional Bulletin Vol. 3 No 9 Jan 1964, Vol. 3 No. 10 April 1964 JAMES, M Self Parenting: Theory and Process Transactional Journal Vol 4 No 3 July 1974 JAMES, M The Downscripting of Women for 115 Generations: A Historical Kaleidoscope Transactional Analysis Journal Vol. 13, No 2 Jan 1973 JAMES, M What do you do with them now that youve got them? Mass. Addison-Wesley, 1974 Further information, referencing and research is provided in the Bibliography below

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WEBPAGES:http://www.hartriding.com.au/ http://noosphere.princeton.edu/
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http://www.informaworld.com
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FURTHER INFORMATION IN RELATION TO:BALANCING THE LIFE FORCE Quantum Field Theory and Epigenetic Programming May be obtained by contacting the Author Suzanne Tabor PO Box 199 Carina, Queensland, Australia, 4152

Thank you for sharing this journey Peace and Blessings as you continue to Consciously Create your own Vibrational Life And become an IIP+ (Positive Intention Imprinted Person) Suzanne Tabor