Leader Manual

A Manual for Leaders and Elders
Fellowship Group Handbook

Table of Contents
1. INTRODUCTION TO FELLOWSHIP
GROUP MINISTRIES
Four Oaks Community Church: Core Values and Beliefs 1
A Vision for Community 2
Fellowship Groups: An Overview 3
2. FELLOWSHIP GROUP STRUCTURE

Four Oaks’ Fellowship Group Structure 1
The Leadership Gathering 2
Multiplying Groups and Leaders 3
Leadership Qualifications and Job Descriptions 4
Leadership Training and Help 5
Forms and Reports 6
Additional Resources 7
3. FELLOWSHIP GROUP DYNAMICS

Agenda for a Healthy Fellowship Group 1
Understanding Group Dynamics 2
Stages in Group Life 3
Developing Group Loyalty 4
Children in Fellowship Groups 5
Worship in Small Groups 6
Study: Reading and Interpreting the Bible 7
Study: Using Curriculum and Asking Good Questions 8
Fellowship 9
Prayer in the Group 10
Mission: An Overview 11
Mission: Evangelism 12
Troubleshooting: Common Problems 13
Troubleshooting: Following-up
Those Who Fall Through the Cracks 14
Troubleshooting: Referral of Troubled and
Troubling People 15
4. PASTORAL CARE
The Nature of Shepherding 1
Dynamics of Biblical Change 2
Diagnosing Spiritual Conditions 3
Personal Evangelism 4
Who is a Disciple? 5
A Plan for Discipleship 6
Personal Communion with God 7
Spiritual Gifts and Ministry 8
Time & Stress Management for Leaders 9
Reconciliation: Healing Wounds in a Relationship 10
Shepherding the Tempted 11
Shepherding the Accused 12
Shepherding the Afflicted 13
PART ONE:
Introduction to
Fellowship Group
Ministries
1.1
Four Oaks Community Church: Core Values and Beliefs

What convictions make Four Oaks distinctively what it is?
Of course, the first way to answer that question is to look at the churches doctrinal
commitments. Those are the creeds and summaries of what we believe the Bible
teaches about God, humanity, salvation, the Bible, the church, the world, and so on.
Four Oaks stands with all churches in affirming the Apostle’s Creed, and with the
Evangelical Free churches in affirming the EFCA Statement of Faith.
But in every time and place, a church has to determine how these doctrinal
commitments are to be propounded, embodied, and applied to the particular issues
and minds and hearts of the people where the church exists. This can be called the
theological vision of the congregation. This is also called its “core values” or
“philosophy of ministry”. The “four” in Four Oaks actually represents four core
commitments of our church.
FOUR OAKS - PURPOSE AND PRIORITIES

PURPOSE ‘To live and spread authentic Christianity’
STATEMENT
 Experiential – “live” (Doers of the Word)
 Missional – “spread” (Priesthood of All Believers)
 Spirit-filled – “authentic” (Gospel Centered)
 Biblical – “Christianity” (Measured by the Word)
PRIORITIES – THE 4
OAKS
Worship, Our Ultimate Commitment: Recognizing that treasuring God above all
things is the number one commitment of every believer and our first priority as a
1.Worship, Our
church family. This can be seen in the design of our corporate times together as we
Ultimate Commitment
seek to be God-centered and structure our services in a way that relates to the culture
without compromising the timeless message of the gospel.
2. Word, Our Ultimate God has revealed Himself and His will through the Scriptures. Therefore, the
Authority preaching and teaching of the Bible is central in our corporate worship, emphasized
in all our gathering together, and informs all of our ministries.
3. Ministry, Our Believing that all of God’s people are called to minister, not just the pastors, we
Fellowship of Service provide opportunities for our people to serve others. Though service often occurs
spontaneously, our ministry teams serve as the primary channels for facilitating
service within our church, the community, and the world.
4. Community, Our The Person of Christ is best seen through believers who actually live in loving unity
Common Devotion with one another. We labor to cultivate an environment where friendships bloom
and where each person gives and receives care and nurture utilizing the spiritual gifts
given by God.
Part 1: Introduction Four Oaks Core Values, 1

1.1
CONVICTIONS ABOUT “GOSPEL” AND “COMMUNITY”

The Gospel and the The gospel means “good news.” It is the basic message that: “God made [Christ],
Power for Change who had no sin, to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of
God” (II Corinthians 5:21). The gospel says that we are so sinful, lost, and helpless
that only the life and death of the Son of God can save us. But it also says that those
who trust in Christ’s works instead of their own efforts are now “holy in his sight,
without blemish and free from accusation” (Colossians 1:22-23).
The gospel tells us that our root sin is not just failing in our obedience to God but
relying on our obedience to save us. Therefore, the gospel is a “third way”, neither
religion nor irreligion. The religious person may say, “I am doing the right things
that God commands” and the irreligious person may say, “I decide what is right and
wrong for myself”. But both ways reject Jesus as Savior (though they may revere
him as Example, or Helper). Both ways are strategies of self-salvation — both
actually keep control of their own lives. So the gospel keeps us from legalism and
moralism on the one hand, and from hedonism and relativism on the other.
The gospel is not just the “A-B-C” but the “A-to-Z” of the Christian life. The gospel
is not just the way to enter the kingdom, but is the way to address every problem and
is the way to grow at every step. If we believe we can find our own worth and
meaning through performance, then we will become both proud and disdainful of
others (if we reach our goals), or else discouraged and self-loathing (if we fail our
goals). But the gospel creates an entirely new self-image.
First, it tells us that we are more wicked than we ever dared believe, but more loved
and accepted in Christ than you ever dared to hope—at the same time. In fact, if the
gospel is true, the more you see your sin, the more certain you are that you were
saved by sheer grace and the more precious and electrifying that grace is to you. So
the gospel gives us enormous power to admit our flaws.
The Gospel and The context for a gospel-centered life is never merely individual. The gospel creates
Community a new community, a unique community. “One of the immediate changes that the
gospel makes is grammatical: we instead of I; our instead of my; us instead of me.”
(Eugene Peterson, Reversed Thunder). This kind of new community is not an
optional thing, an “extra” for the Christian; instead it’s part of the overall purpose of
God’s kingdom.
A new community is both the end of the gospel and also the means of spreading the
gospel. God’s promise in salvation is to create his “holy nation”, a people that dwell
with him forever. “I will be your God and you will be my people.” (Lev 26:12, Jer
30:22). So Christians, who are eternally united to Christ, are therefore eternally
united to one another. We all are ministers of the gospel for the sake of one another.
Since our culture knows very little about true community, we will have to work hard
at following a biblical vision.
What is the biblical vision, what does true community look like? We are to be:
1. an accepting community that reflects the grace we’ve been given from Christ.
2. a holy community that urges one another to live God-pleasing lives.
3. a truth-telling community that is free to repent, and free to allow others to repent,
because of the gospel.
4. an encouraging community that builds one another up.
5. a sacrificially generous community that spends its life and wealth on the needs of
others.
6. a suffering community that loves and forgives others even when it harms us.
Part 1: Introduction Four Oaks Core Values, 2

1.2
A Vision For Community

THE THEOLOGY OF THE FELLOWSHIP GROUP CHURCH
A central theme which runs throughout the Bible is that God is creating a people
who belong to him. Whether in the Old Covenant or the New, the work of God is the
calling of a people. He is not merely saving individuals; He is building a new
community in which he is the central participant. He is forming a new society out of
the ashes of a fallen and rebellious human race. The development of a community
lies at the heart of God’s covenant promise “I will be your God and you will be my
people.” The church must take the call to be a new community with the utmost
seriousness. God gets this across in a number of ways.
1. In revealing himself There is much about the Trinity that is a mystery to us. However, the fact that God
as a Trinity, God has revealed himself to be triune makes it clear that community is intrinsic to the
demonstrates that he is structure of reality. Community and friendship are not created but are foundational
a community in and of to the universe. If God were only one this would not be true. If he were dual, in him
himself there would be love, but because he is Triune, community if the highest form of life
in the universe. God always existed in a lifestyle of community.
"Within God's very nature is a divine 'rhythm' or pattern of continuous giving
and receiving– not only love, but also glory, honor, life...each in its fullness.
Think. God the Father loves and delights in the Son (Matt. 3:17), Jesus receives
that love and pleases the Father (John 8:29). Jesus honors the Spirit (Matt.
12:31) and the Spirit glorifies the Father and the Son (John 16:14). Each
person in the Trinity loves, honors and glorifies the other and receives love and
honor back from the others....there is never any lack." –John Samaan, Servants
Among the Poor Newsletter
“The three divine persons are not there simply for themselves. They are there in
that they are there for one another. They are persons in social relationship. The
Father can be called Father only in relationship with the Son; the Son can be
called Son only in relationship with the Father. The Spirit is the breath of the
one who speaks....Being-a person means “being in relationship.” –Jurgen
Moltmann, Humanity in God
Having been made in God’s image, we are built for community and connection.
When we live outside of community and interdependence on one another, our very
humanity is compromised and subverted. We live out of accordance with our true
nature and thus are bound to feel a sense of emptiness and a lack of fulfillment.
1. When God created humanity, He proclaimed that it was “not good for man to be
2. God calls his people
alone.” Allender and Longman write, “God does not exclusively fill the human
to a community
mindset heart. He made mankind to need more than himself. The staggering humility of God
to make something that was not to be fully satisfied with the Creator and the
creation is incomprehensible” (Intimate Allies). Incomprehensible, but true. We
need one another.
2. Israel was addressed and dealt with primarily as a community, not as separate
individuals. The covenant and the commandments were directed to them as a
people. The calling that they had received from God was received as a nation and
was meant to be lived out as a nation. It was not a calling given to separate
individuals.
3. When someone within the community sinned, God dealt not just with the individual
offender, but with the corporate body. A striking example of this is found in the
book of Joshua. When Achan sinned by taking plunder from Jericho, the entire
nation suffered the consequences of his actions. Interestingly, in the next battle in
which Israel was soundly defeated, Achan was not harmed at all. God could have
Part 1: Introduction A Vision For Community, 1

1.2
singled out Achan and dealt with him alone. He did not. Instead, he clearly taught
the lesson that the actions of one person effects everyone. God sees his people as
being deeply connected to one another and responsible for one another and treats
them accordingly.
4. In calling the Twelve apostles it is fairly clear that Jesus saw himself as
reconstituting Israel. The church has replaced Israel as the community which is to
testify to God’s character and ways by the quality of its life together. God did not
lose interest in developing a community and shift his focus to the saving as
individuals. The church is the new Israel. It is the new community which he is
forming and to whom he has committed himself.
5. In Mark 10, Jesus expects that his people will be able to rely on one another as
members of a new family which he has created. People who have become followers
of Jesus are now each other’s brothers, sisters, mothers and children. Even their
possessions and capital (homes and fields) are viewed as belonging to each other in
some significant sense. Interestingly, Jesus does not suggest that the number of
fathers is multiplied with the formation of this family. God alone is viewed as the
Father of this new family and thus our connectedness is further emphasized.
6. Romans 12: 1 reads, “Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy to
offer you bodies (plural) as a living sacrifice (singular), holy and acceptable to God
which is your spiritual worship” It is the church as a corporate body that is in view
here as the living sacrifice, not the lives of individual Christians. We are to offer
ourselves to God as a community. For Paul, community has priority over
individuality. When he turns to offer ethical instruction after 11 chapters of
doctrinal instruction, the first issue he addresses is the lifestyle and the conduct of
the community
7. In 1 Corinthians 12, Paul uses the metaphor of a body to emphasize the fact that we
belong to one another and need each other. We are all baptized in the one Spirit and
as partakers of that one Spirit are to be seen as intimately related and connected to
one another. We are not to say “I don’t need you” to anyone within the community.
We are affected by what is going on in one another’s lives whether we know it or
not: “If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored every part
rejoices with it.”
8. In the OT, the tabernacle and temple are called God's dwelling, or his "house" (I
Chron. 6:48, 25:6; Ezra 5:2, 15). In the NT, the people of God themselves now
become the dwelling of God. Individual Christians receive the Holy Spirit and now
become "living stones" being built up into God's "spiritual house" (I Peter 2:5). I
Cor. 3:9 says: "you are God's building". It is together that we are the building in
which God dwells.
9. In addition to these specific examples of God’s call to community one ought not to
lose sight of the fact that the great majority of the New Testament writings were not
addressed to individuals, but to entire communities. They were meant to be read as
communities, interpreted by communities and embodied by communities. Thus the
question, “what does this mean to us?” is meant to have priority over the question
“what does this mean to me?” This is not to suggest that we should not view
ourselves as individuals or that our individuality does not matter. However, though
we are never less than individuals, we are always more than individuals. Therefore,
the later question is most appropriately asked in the form, “What does this mean to
me as a member of this community?”

1.2
1. God’s desire is to be in community with humanity. God created us that we might

3. God reveals the
enjoy dwelling with him and one another– that we might share the common life
purposes of the
Christian community together. He takes delight in being in relationship with his people. As Gareth
Icenogle comments, “Community is the purpose for Jesus Christ, the Son of God,
being born, living among us, dying and being raised from the dead.”
2. The Christian community exists in order to provide support and encouragement to
one another so that we might lead God-pleasing lives. Living up to God’s standards
and commandments on our own is too hard. We need each other for strength. When
living in community, we can remind one another of the lifestyle to which we are
called. We can call each other on our failures. We can provide examples for one
another of what it means to walk faithfully before God. We can preach the gospel to
one another when we are forgetting it and provide support for each other when
obedience seems difficult and compromise looks like a better option.
3. The Christian community is to be a “city set on a hill”. It is to be a contrast society
which by its lifestyle and character draws the nations to God. Initially, Israel existed
to be a light to the nations and a community through which the rest of the world
would be blessed. Now the church has taken up that mantle. The church exists for
the purpose of making the character and ways of God known to those who have not
yet embraced the Christian faith. By the quality of our life together and our love for
one another we are meant to be “the salt of the earth” and “the light of the world.”
We are meant to be a compelling example of the kingdom which Jesus proclaimed
which attracts the people’s of the world to God. We are to avoid being conformed to
the world for the sake of the world. We are to be distinct and set apart in our
lifestyle for the benefit of those who are not followers of Jesus.
4. The above points lead us to the conclusion that it is impossible to speak of a
person’s spiritual maturity apart from looking at their involvement in the Christian
community and the health of their relationships. Spiritual maturity is an
unintelligible concept apart from community.
4. A Community which The community which God is forming is forged by the Gospel. The gospel gives us
embodies the gospel our distinct identity and values. We are to uniquely embody the story of what God
has done in Jesus Christ in our life together. Therefore, by the quality of our life
together, the church both proclaims the message of the gospel and is the goal of the
gospel. Understood in this way, we can say that the church is the good news.
1. We are to be a worshipping community. The message of the gospel is that Christ
died for us while we were yet sinners– when we were separated from him and
wanted nothing to do with him. We are not defined by what we did or have done to
become God’s people, but by what God has done in Christ to make us his . We are
therefore, first and foremost, a people who are grateful to God and who stand
amazed at the wonders of his love. As a result, we worship God with our praises and
by celebrating the Lord’s supper.
2. We are to be an accepting community. The message of the gospel is that we have
been accepted at our worst. We are to extend a similar acceptance to one another
without demanding that they change before we before we offer it to them. We need
neither frown upon nor be shocked by other people’s sin and weaknesses. We are to
extend grace rather than judgment.
3. We are to be a holy community. Though we are to accept people as they are, we are
not to be content with leaving others where they are. The gospel tells us that we are
destined to become like Jesus and that God has already begun the process of
changing us from glory unto glory. We are to urge one another to throw off what is
not in keeping with what God has made us to be and to put on all that is in
accordance with the new reality of our status as sons and daughters of God.

1.2
4. We are to be a truth-telling community. Bonhoeffer writes that “there is no kindness

more cruel than the kindness which consigns another person to their sin.” The
gospel gives us the motivation to truly care about people. We are to be marked by
gentle but honest truth telling which will lead others to want to change. We won’t
be harsh because we know our own weaknesses and flaws. But neither will we
shrink back out of a fear that we will be rejected for we have the only acceptance
which ultimately matters. We can also hear the truth from others. Because we are
accepted in Christ, we are free to admit our flaws.
5. We are to be an upbuilding and encouraging community. The work of Christ in the
church is oikodomeo, or "building up". "God is the one who can build you up" (Acts
20:32) and "In him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy
temple in the Lord" (Eph. 2:21). The church grows not by joining physical stones
but by joining and uniting human lives filled with the Spirit of God. So, too, the
main work of the living stones themselves is oikodomeo. "Therefore encourage one
another and build each other up" (I Thess. 5:11) and "Speaking the truth in love...the
whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and
builds itself up in love, as each part does its work." (Eph. 4:15-16). Because of the
acceptance which comes to us in the gospel, we do not have to resort to tearing
others down in order to feel good about ourselves. Petty rivalries and
competitiveness vanquish. Confident that we are loved by God, we are free to
encourage others and desire the best for them. We are enabled to work for the
prosperity and success of others.
6. We are to be a sacrificially generous and giving community. Paul writes, “For you
know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sakes
he became poor, so that you through his poverty might become rich” (2 Cor. 8:9)
We are to follow suit: spending and being spent on behalf of others. The early
Christians were known for their radical generosity: “All the believers were together
and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to
anyone as he had need” (Acts 2:44, 45) and “No one claimed that any of his
possessions was his own, but they shared everything they had...There were no needy
persons among them. From time to time those who owned lands or houses sold
them, brought the money from the sales and put it at the apostles feet, and it was
distributed to anyone as he had need (Acts 4:32-35). We also ought to be known for
being promiscuous with our money and possessions.
7. We are to be a suffering community. Jesus loved us while we were yet enemies. He
didn’t retaliate against us. He suffered our slighting of him and the wrath of God on
the cross in order that we might be turned into his friends. We also are to avoid
retaliation. We are love to the point of suffering whether that suffering love is
directed toward those inside the community or outside the community. We are to
offer forgiveness to those who harm or persecute us.

1.2
SOME IMPLICATIONS OF GOD’S CALL TO COMMUNITY

1. The development of To have the quality of community life which God expects from the church requires
this kind of community deliberate effort. This cannot happen only (or even mainly!) in the large worship
life requires service. We cannot assume that merely by gathering together in large groups that we
significant face to face will be able to embody the gospel or carry out the functions which God intends for
relationships his people to fulfill. We will be incapable of being “a city set on a hill.” We will not
be able to proclaim the good news credibly. To do this requires face-to-face groups.
It demands ongoing significant relationships in which are consciously pursuing
Christian community and not settling for casual social involvement with one
another. It requires a concrete group of people who know each others faces, names
and lives and who regularly spend time together. It requires what the Bible refers to
as house churches. The New Testament epistles talk of "the church that meets in
their house" (I Cor. 16:19; Romans 16:5). Acts 2:24ff. and Acts 20:20 tells how the
Christians all met in homes as well as in the temple courts. If we follow this pattern
we will be living in a very concrete way as the light of the world and the salt of the
earth and the nonbelieving world will not be able to dismiss the Christian message
so easily.
2. Each person must Many churches expect the pastoral staff to "build up the believers", but the Bible
see himself or herself expects believers to "build up one another". Many churches expect the pastoral staff
as a minister to attract and win new persons through programs, but the Bible says that the body
grows member-to-member as each speaks the truth in love, builds up, and equips the
other.
The early church certainly recognized that the essence of being the church was face-
to-face every member ministry in Fellowship Groups. Paul assumes that when they
meet together "each one of you has a psalm, a teaching...let all things be done for
building up (oikodomeo)". (1 Cor. 14). See! Paul is clearly talking of house
churches, in which everyone participated. He assumed everyone ministered.
Too frequently our approach to fellowship groups is to ask the question, “What am I
getting out of this?”. But on the basis of everything that has been said, the first
question that should be asked is, “What am I giving into this group?” We should be
concerned as to whether or not we were striving to build others up and to speak the
truth in love. We should be concerned about whether or not we were communicating
God’s love to others and being honest about ourselves. If people approach their
groups in this way it will completely transform our communities. It will set them
apart from many Bible study groups which often give new information and increase
our Bible knowledge (though most of us have far more input than we can apply) but
fail to change our lives.
3. We must work hard Nurtured within a culture which encourages a radical individualism, our ability to
at developing participate in a robust community life has been severely diminished. The muscles
community required for life together have wasted away and atrophied. It is no wonder that many
of our attempts at being a community are unfulfilling and sub-par. Simply put: we
are not very good at it. But this can be no excuse for avoiding it. After all, it is what
we were created for and it is what God expects from us. We will do well to
remember that anything worth doing is worth doing poorly. Better sub-par
community than no community at all. The more we work at it, the better we will
become at it. We must recommit ourselves to developing the muscles necessary to
become God’s new society.

1.2
SOME ADDITIONAL BENEFITS OF A FELLOWSHIP GROUP CHURCH
1. They require no money for space. A large church building is unnecessary.

2. They relate people together who may be uprooted and far from family.
3. They can help a congregation become more heterogeneous in a heterogeneous city
by providing multiple options relational associations, depending on their interests
and background.
4. The church’s growth is not limited by the size of it building. The thing which will
prevent the church from growing is the number of Fellowship Group Leaders not
the number of seats available in the sanctuary.

1.3
Fellowship Groups at Four Oaks Community Church: An Overview
"I tell you the truth," Jesus said, "no one who has left home or brothers or
sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel will
fail to receive a hundred times as much in this present age (homes,
brothers, sisters, mothers, children, fields- and with them, persecutions)
and in the age to come, eternal life." Mark 10:29-30
When Jesus made this statement he was talking about the church. And in that
statement we are reminded that what matters most in life are relationships. And that
is what the church is all about: relationship– with God and with one another. It is
our great privilege and our great responsibility to engage in such relationships with
zest and delight. At Four Oaks, the chief opportunity to cultivate and develop such
relationships is in our Fellowship Groups.
WHAT IS A FELLOWSHIP GROUP?

Fellowship Groups are basic Christian communities. Believing that discipleship and
evangelism are activities best carried out in a community context, Fellowship
Groups provide that context. They are gatherings of 10-14 people meeting in
individual's homes in Tallahassee on a weekly basis. In Fellowship Groups, people
come to know God and to experience His presence, community is developed and
fostered, and people are nurtured, equipped and released for God's work in the
world. They provide an opportunity for intimacy, mutual support, practical love and
service, learning about the Christian faith, prayer, and sharing of what we see God
doing in our midst. They are led by trained lay-leaders from the congregation who
are given on-going support and oversight by an elder and pastor.
WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF FELLOWSHIP GROUPS?

The primary goal for the Fellowship Group is to exhort and encourage one another
in our fight for faith. The book of Hebrews emphasizes that to neglect fellowship
with other believers in the context of the local church is to risk being hardened by
the deceitfulness of sin and to in turn fall away from the faith. Fellowship Groups
are the primary means and place where such exhortation and encouragement takes
place. This means that sanctification, that process of becoming dead to sin and alive
to righteousness through the power of the Spirit, provides an overarching agenda for
our Fellowship Groups. We desire for godly change to be taking place in the lives
of believers. Consider these verses from Hebrews and how they bring together these
ideas of sanctification and meeting together:
Hebrews 3:12-14
Take care, brothers, lest there be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart, leading
you to fall away from the living God. [13] But exhort one another every day, as
long as it is called "today," that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of
sin. [14] For we share in Christ, if indeed we hold our original confidence firm to
the end.
Hebrews 10:24-25
And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, [25] not
neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another,
and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.
In order for this to be a reality, Fellowship Groups seek to experience Christ Jesus in
our midst in his presence and power. We want him to be at work by His Spirit
ministering to us and through us to one another to the end that people are cared for
and encouraged to lead God pleasing lives. We desire Christ to transform and
change our lives as individuals, as small communities, and through us, the larger
communities of which we are a part. These purposes of having Fellowship Groups
Part 1, Introduction Fellowship Group Summary, 1

1.3
can be further broken down into four distinctives.
1. Fellowship “What is fellowship as defined in the New Testament? Just this: participating
together in the life and truth made possible by the Holy Spirit through our union
with Christ. Fellowship is sharing something in common on the deepest possible
level of human relationship – our experience of God himself. (Mahaney, p. 19).
“Thus, fellowship can be further understood as seeking to share with others what
God has made known to you while letting them share with you what they know of
him as a means of finding strength, refreshment and instruction for one's own soul.
The Scriptures give us numerous commands concerning how we should interact in
fellowship with one another. We are told to encourage one another, serve one
another, rejoice and weep with one another, correct, instruct, sing to, build up,
accept and love one another.” Consider these verses which contain the word
koinonia or fellowship (community, communion, sharing, participating):
Acts 2:42
And they devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and fellowship, to the
breaking of bread and the prayers.
Philip. 2:1
So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any
participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy,
Philemon 1:6
and I pray that the sharing of your faith may become effective for the full
knowledge of every good thing that is in us for the sake of Christ.
There is no better way to put yourself in a position to fulfill these commands than by
becoming part of a Fellowship Group. These groups also serve as a key way to
integrate people who join our community and as a way to keep the leadership aware
of the concerns and troubles which face the members of our congregation which
might otherwise remain hidden.
2. A Place Where Gifts The church is sometimes compared to a football stadium where you find 22 people
Are Exercised and who desperately need a rest and thousands of people who desperately need exercise.
Care is Provided God has given spiritual gifts to every Christian (I Cor. 12: 1-7). He fully expects us
to use them. But in a church of any size at all, it’s simply not feasible for every
member to use these gifts on a Sunday morning. They can be in a Fellowship
Group, though. In this smaller and more personal context, each one can serve
according to the gifting of the Holy Spirit. A Fellowship Groups is a place where
spiritual gifts are discovered and exercised within the group itself, within the larger
church, and to the world. They are a place where a vision for ministry and service
are developed.
It is through the exercise of believers’ spiritual gifts, then, that individual members
can receive and give care. Christians have always been characterized by their
sacrificial love for each other. We are commanded to care for each other
unselfishly, without favoritism, and this more easily happens in a Fellowship Group
context than on Sunday morning during worship. Consider as well these New
Testament verses which discuss serving and caring for one another:
1 Cor. 12:24-26
But God has so composed the body, giving greater honor to the part that lacked
it, [25] that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have
1.3
the same care for one another. [26] If one member suffers, all suffer together; if
one member is honored, all rejoice together.
Galatians 6:2
Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.
1 Tim. 4:14
Do not neglect the gift you have, which was given you by prophecy when the
council of elders laid their hands on you.
3. A Place To Discover Fellowship Groups are a place where individuals who are seeking truth can be
Christianity invited and encouraged to enter into a relationship with Jesus Christ. In addition,
they serve as a place where we can remind one another of our call to share the
gospel and pray for those with whom we are sharing good news that God has
reconciled himself to us in Jesus Christ. The claim is sometimes made that small
groups can either be used for evangelism or for discipleship, but that they can not do
both at the same time. It is true that if you aim at edification you will probably lose
the attention of the non-believers in your midst. It is also true that if you aim at
evangelism, you will eventually bore the believers in your midst. But those are not
our only options. If we aim at experiencing Christ in our midst, we will find that we
are both building up believers and challenging non-believers. Consider the
following passages:
1 Cor. 14:23-25
If, therefore, the whole church comes together and all speak in tongues, and
outsiders or unbelievers enter, will they not say that you are out of your minds?
[24] But if all prophesy, and an unbeliever or outsider enters, he is convicted by all,
he is called to account by all, [25] the secrets of his heart are disclosed, and so,
falling on his face, he will worship God and declare that God is really among you.
Acts 2:42-47
And they devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and fellowship, to the
breaking of bread and the prayers. [43] And awe came upon every soul, and many
wonders and signs were being done through the apostles. [44] And all who believed
were together and had all things in common. [45] And they were selling their
possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need.
[46] And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their
homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, [47] praising God
and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to their number day by
day those who were being saved.
Because these groups are expected to be reaching out to seekers and inviting
newcomers in the church to join them, they must have a vision for multiplying new
groups and developing new leadership.

1.3
HOW DO FELLOWSHIP GROUPS FIT INTO FOUR OAKS CHURCH AS A WHOLE?
Fellowship groups are the primary place for pastoral care at Four Oaks. Churches do
one of two things: They either practice systematic care and encouragement of the
congregation or systematic neglect of the congregation. Our network of fellowship
groups is the means through which we seek to practice the former. While some
congregations may have small groups, we want our congregation to BE small
groups. Our network of Fellowship groups serve as the nervous system of our church
and are the “hands and feet” of our pastoral ministry, an extension of the calling that
the pastors and elders are to exercise in their care of the flock.
In them, the gospel is used to motivate people towards a richer relationship with
God. In them, the gospel is used a balm to apply to the wounds we incur in this
broken world. In them, the gospel is used to call and motivate people into the service
of God's kingdom: In response to God’s grace, people are urged to develop lives of
moral beauty, integrity and other-centeredness and to discover and use their gifts to
carry out ministry both within the congregation and to the world.
Though the Bible does not command us to organize small group ministry, it does
presuppose that a significant relational life exists within the church. Where this does
not happen naturally, the church must cultivate it. Fellowship groups are Four Oaks’
chosen means of cultivating that relational life. Because of their foundational role in
the life of our church, we ask that all of our covenant members be a part of a
Fellowship Group.
WHAT ARE THE DISTINCTIVES OF FELLOWSHIP GROUPS?

1. They are considered primary Christian communities of nurture; therefore they are
balanced between the elements of worship, Bible study, sharing and prayer.
2. They are led by skilled leaders. Leaders have been trained and interviewed
3. They are led by supported leaders. Leaders meet regularly with their shepherding
elder.
4. They meet at least twice a month, for the entire ministry year (August-May).
5. They are open by invitation, not by advertisement.
6. They are committed to multiplying. Groups generally have less than 14 participants.
7. They are committed to developing new leaders through apprenticeship.
HOW DO I GET INVOLVED IN A FELLOWSHIP GROUP?

There are four possible avenues for those in the congregation:
1. Invitation Someone from a group who you meet in church or some church-related activity may
invite you to their group. Or you may discover through casual conversation with
someone that they are part of a Home Group and then ask if they would mind you
joining them. This is the preferred avenue.
2. Request You can indicate your interest in being in a Fellowship Group by signing up on a
feedback slip or by calling the church office. We will respond as soon as possible.
3. Start a New Group Perhaps you have been involved with a church previous to your coming to Redeemer
(even in leading a small group in another congregation). You may feel, therefore,
that you could help lead a group if you had sufficient support from the church staff.
If this is the case, we welcome the opportunity to talk with you. Contact a pastor in
order to meet together and discuss this possibility.
4. Open Enrollment While the above three means are the preferred choice for assimilating people into
Each Fall Fellowship Groups, we also utilize open enrollment/sign up. This takes place in the
form of sign up on our church website.

PART TWO:
Fellowship Group
Structure
Four Oaks’ Fellowship Group Structure
INTRODUCTION AND OVERVIEW
A healthy church can be defined primarily by its relationships—relationships with God
and with others. In smaller churches these relationships often flourish and develop
without much of a formal structure. People know each other, are involved with one
another, and keep track of one another. Through their interaction with one another
they grow and mature in their relationship with God, in their personal maturity, in their
ability to relate to and care for others, and in their concern for a world which is broken
and needy. As churches grow in size, however, people increasingly fall through the
cracks. Rather than close personal relationships, the list of acquaintances grows larger
and more impersonal. People go unnoticed. It is is a tragedy. Because they are no
longer connected to others in any meaningful way, they suffer and so does their
relationship with God.
Four Oaks has created such a structure to do our best to avoid this problem. The
structure, which we call “the Shepherding Model”, involves creating a series of small
groups (“fellowship groups”) so that the span of care in our church is one leader for
every twelve-fourteen people. Patterned after Exodus 18: 23-33, our Shepherding
Model and Fellowship Group structure seeks to do the following:
 Every member in our church has an elder, pastor, and fellowship group
leader who comprises a network of care in that person’s life. Every
member knows who their specific elder and pastor is that they can go to
for prayer, support, encouragement, and counsel.
 All of our fellowship groups are organized under the care of the elders,
with each elder having 3-4 fellowship groups that he is personally
involved with and responsible for
 Every member at Four Oaks has personal support, encouragement, and

relationship with both other believers and the group of men (pastors and
elders) who are charged with caring for their soul.
 Each pastor works with a group of elders so as to provide leadership and

direction to this whole “Community” of fellowship groups. Communities
are our way of organizing fellowship groups together according to
geography.
 We have divided the greater Tallahassee into three “Communities” that

correspond to roughly equal distributions of our church population
(North, South, and West). All of our elders and pastors live in the same
Community in which they will be ministering, enabling a more natural
flow and involvement into people’s lives on a daily and weekly basis.
 Fellowship Group leaders are recruited to lead a group in their

geographical area
 Fellowship Group Leaders now have an elder who they can go to for
prayer, support, encouragement, and counsel. Even as the Fellowship
Group leaders are doing the work of ministry as the “arms and legs” of
the pastoral ministry, they will have a network of support for such
ministry. In this way, the elders can be in tune with the ongoing needs of
Part 2: Fellowship Group Structure Four Oaks’ Fellowship Group Structure, 2

the body, available to come alongside leaders to involve themselves in
personal situations as needed. The Fellowship Group leaders, in turn,
have a pastoral covering and resource for their ministries. This will take
the form of regular, intentional, and purposeful contact between elders
and Fellowship Group leaders.
In short, Fellowship Groups are the front-line of pastoral care at Four Oaks. Each
member of a Fellowship Group can be intimately cared for by a trained and loving
group leader. Those group leaders, in turn, are nurtured and supported by an Elder who
is experienced and able to mentor and care for at most three-five group leaders. Each
pastor, in turn, works with the 3-4 elders and their specific Fellowship Groups as part
of his oversight of a particular geographical community (see map on the following
page). The distance from any person in a Fellowship Group directly to a pastor is
therefore only two short steps. Even in a church of 2,000 or more, everyone can be as
personally cared for as if they were in a small church of ten. The structure of our small
group life can be diagrammed in the following way:
Four Oaks Fellowship Group Structure:

Fellowship Group Leader, Elder, Staff Pastor
FGL FGL FGL FGL FGL FGL FGL FGL FGL FGL FGL FGL FGL FGL FGL
              
Elder Elder Elder
  
Pastor
It must be emphasized that the structure is not an end in itself. The organization of the
church is meant to serve the organism— the living, dynamic, body of Christ. The
structure is designed to bring about balanced growth in the church. Not only numerical
growth but also: growth into unity; growth into maturity as a community; growth into
individual theological maturity so the members are able to distinguish truth from error
for themselves; growth into truth speaking motivated by love; growth in dependence
on Christ as the Head of the church; and growth in mutual enrichment. Small groups
are of primary importance at Four Oaks for they alone can help us grow in these ways.
THE ART OF SHEPHERDING

Because leading a Fellowship Group is a shepherding role, it is important to say a few
words about what it means to be a shepherd. Shepherds provide front-line pastoral
care. One author says that a shepherd is someone who is passionate about God and
compassionate for people. Those are certainly the essential characteristics. How do
those characteristics manifest themselves?

1. Getting people to The most important manifestation is that a pastor gets people to deal with God. Most
deal with God people prefer anything to that. There will be a tremendous temptation on the part of
most people to treat you as a surrogate for God when you exemplify the above
characteristics and there will also be a temptation for you to allow them to do so. It is,
after all, flattering to be treated in such a way. You must resist the temptation. Real
change takes place in our lives only when we deal with God. You must not allow
people to treat you as the answer man and go away feeling as though they have dealt
with God when in actuality they have only dealt with you. Your essential tasks are to
teach people to pray - the act of being attentive to God - and to pray for them.
2. Treating people as A second way these characteristics manifest themselves is that you treat people as
distinct individuals distinct individuals. Some people will require more input than others. Some will seek
you out and others will be fairly indifferent about you. Your relationship will be
different with each person you oversee. Don't be offended by those who seem more
reluctant to hear your advice. People must be given room to make mistakes and grow,
just as you must be given that same room. What is especially important is that the
Fellowship Group members consider you accessible. Give advice (especially when it is
asked for), try to ask good questions so as to help them reflect on what they are doing,
but don't insist on them doing things your way. Above all, convey and demonstrate that
you care about how they are doing personally and that you are for them.
More specifics on the art of shepherding can be found in Section Four of this
Handbook.
THE ART OF LEADING A FELLOWSHIP GROUP

Leading the group is an art in itself. Providing pastoral care in a group setting is
different than either one-on-one counseling or teaching a class. On the one hand, the
dynamics of a group require you to pay attention to the group as a unit, carefully
weighing the needs of different individuals against the goals for the group. On the
other hand, because the group is small, your job is to facilitate rather than lecture, to
lead people to discover the truth of scripture for themselves.
1. Balanced Group A healthy fellowship group involves five essential ingredients:
Elements
1. Worship Praising God for who he is and what he has done.
2. Bible Study Learning and applying God's Word to everyday life.

3. Fellowship Building supportive, mutually accountable relationships.
Listening to and sharing intimately with God. Interceding for
4. Prayer
others and God's work in the world.
5. Mission Impacting our society and sharing the Gospel.
All five of these ingredients may not be present at a particular gathering, but overall
the group must consistently include every one. Any group which focuses on just one or
two elements (ex: an intense accountability group, a short-term missions team, or a
supper club) does not meet the kind of community that we are looking for in our
Fellowship Groups. Balanced does not mean equal, either. In the first few weeks, more
time is spent in fellowship and friendship building. Once mature, perhaps half the
meeting time is spent in bible study. During particular seasons, the group may devote
itself almost exclusively to ministry or evangelism.

2. Cultivating Open A love for each member in your group and a desire to see each of them draw closer to
And Deep Personal Christ leads to a depth of relationship that cannot be matched outside of close Christian
Sharing community. How do you cultivate such concern among your group members? The
people in your group must be able to trust the group with intimate details of their lives,
perhaps ones that they've never shared before.
The kinds of questions that you ask and the manner which you respond to their answers
not only sets the tone for the group, but reinforces the atmosphere of love and concern.
Be specific, be penetrating, be personal with your questions. Draw people to examine
their lives to God's Word. Respond with compassion, patience, hope, and
encouragement. Above all, do not be shocked with the struggles that people face. From
God's perspective, your own sins are equally rebellious and wicked. Lastly, never
gossip about personal issues outside of the group.
3. Understanding The group as a whole is a living organism. It will exhibit signs of growing through
Group Dynamics different stages such as: kinship-building, conflict, maturity, old age, closure.
Understanding these stages allows your group to adjust to its proper rhythm, affecting
the balance of group elements and the level of intimacy. Understanding this dynamic
will also help you to be sensitive to new members joining your group midstream. Bear
in mind that your group must be designed from the start to multiply new groups and
leaders. Instead of introducing instability, a finite life-span can actually bond the group
more tightly and give it a stronger sense of vision.
More on the Art of Leading a Fellowship Group can be found in Section Three of
this Handbook

2.2
The Leadership Gathering

PURPOSE OF LEADERSHIP GATHERINGS
The Leadership Gathering is the most important gathering of ministry leaders at Four
Oaks. This is the opportunity for the pastor, elders, and fellowship group leaders in each
geographical community to come together on a quarterly basis (Aug; Nov; Jan; April)
for coordination, accountability, sharing, training, and prayer.
Time Who What

6:00 - 7:00pm By appointment only � Individual Appointments
Elders and leaders may use this hour for specific
meetings, follow-up appointments, or planning meetings
that cannot fit into the regular agenda.
7:00 - 8:00pm Everyone � 7:00-7:10 Arrival

7:10-7:20 Worship/ singing
All Fellowship Group Leaders, Co-
7:20-7:55 Teaching Worship Celebration
leaders, Elders, and Pastors
The entire leadership of Four Oaks meets to praise God
for what he is doing in Tallahassee, clarify vision, dig
deeply into God's Word, renew, and pray for continued
blessing.
8:00 - 9:00pm Sub-Flock Huddles � 8:05-8:10 Announcements
8:10-8:25 Spiritual Accountability
Sub-flocks comprised of each elder
8:25-8:35 Group Reporting
and their Fellowship Group
8:35-8:45 Quality Control Reminders
Leaders
8:45-9:00 Prayer Group Leader Huddles
Each elder meets with their group leaders to make sure
that individual leaders are spiritually healthy and growing
and that the fellowship groups themselves are healthy and
providing quality pastoral care.
9:00 - 10:00pm Community Gatherings � 9:00-9:20 Quality Control/ Skills
9:20-9:30 Spiritual Accountability
Each pastor, group of elders, and
9:30- 9:50 Group Reporting
Fellowship Group Leaders by
9:50-10:00 Prayer Group Coordinator Meetings
Community
Accountability. Report on and evaluate group health.
Referrals and advice. Follow-up previous issues. Spiritual
health and discipleship.
SUB-FLOCK HUDDLES
The Sub-Flock huddle is where Elders gather with the Fellowship Group leaders
under their care and oversight. The overall purpose of the huddle is twofold: to make
sure that the individual leaders are spiritually healthy and that the fellowship groups
themselves are healthy.
1. Encourage First, the huddle meets to encourage the leaders to the end of spiritual maturity and
individual spiritual health. Without spiritually healthy leaders the groups will suffer. One pastor has
maturity said, "My people's greatest need is my personal holiness." The axiom is true and
applies to your fellowship group as well. The "accountability questions" are asked to
address this issue. They enable us to talk about the quality of our relationships with
God. They are not meant to serve as a form of legalism and they are not intended to
place burdens upon people. They are kept to a minimum number of issues which we
believe that any Christian wanting to please God would want to be held accountable
to. Not every question needs to be asked every time, but some of them should be.
Part 2: Fellowship Group Structure The Community Meeting, 1

2.2
When we find ourselves falling short it should not provide a platform for finger
wagging or making one another feel guilty. Instead, it is meant to be an opportunity
to pray for one another in a spirit that recognizes our common frailty, failings and
weakness. It is also a means of calling us back to our most basic commitments.
2. Encourage group Second, the huddle meets to encourage each of the groups represented within it
health and towards health and effectiveness. What are the marks of a healthy fellowship group?
effectiveness First, they consistently accomplish their stated purpose. They have a healthy balance
of worship, bible study, sharing and kingdom-centered prayer. People are basically
consistent in their attendance because they enjoy the group experience. The group is
adding members, developing apprentices and has a vision for multiplying.
This second purpose of the huddle is achieved through a multi-faceted approach. In
group reporting, successes are celebrated, frustrations expressed and brain-storming
and trouble-shooting occur so that we are mutually sharpening one another's
fellowship groups. Quality control teaching is done to address issues that affect the
health of small groups. You can also expect your elder to help you diagnose the
health of your group. The huddle is a place where the Coordinator can ask questions
which will put your group under constructively critical scrutiny and potentially
challenge some of your practices which may be preventing the group from achieving
its purposes. Finally, believing that ultimately God is the one who brings us and our
groups to maturity the huddle is a time to engage in fervent prayer for these ends.
Meetings "In Between" Regular contact between an Elder and Fellowship Group Leaders is needed to
Community Meetings support the goal of having healthy leaders and healthy groups. Ideally, this contact
takes place once quarterly at the Community Meeting and at least bi-weekly between
meetings. The advantage of this second meeting is that it provides a more relaxed
and intimate atmosphere for accomplishing the huddle's tasks. Regular contact
between the Elders and Pastors of a specific Community are also important, and are
to be worked out by the pastor in each community.
Flexibility: Use the Elders, ultimately it is your prerogative to use the huddle time as you see fit. Even
huddle for the benefit when you have been assigned a specific agenda, you should consider it flexible. Do
of those in attendance what you consider to be most important for your group.
Above all, do everything in your power to see that the huddle time is encouraging to
your leaders. Where you know that they are doing a good job, let them know it. Give
praise wherever it can honestly be given. Discouragement can come easily. We
desperately need each other and the encouragement we can offer if we are to remain
enthusiastic and empowered for our task. ENCOURAGEMENT IS THE KEY TO
CARING!!
SUB-FLOCK HUDDLE AGENDA
1. Spiritual Before asking these questions, remind the group of their purpose: "We do not ask
Accountability these questions to be legalistic, to provide a platform for self-righteousness, or to
(8:10-8:25) induce guilt. Instead, we ask them believing that they cover some of the bottom line
commitments that we all can agree are important to the Christian life. We assume
that all of us who desire to lead God-pleasing lives will want to be held accountable
to these things. If you have come up significantly short in some area, we are not here
to wag fingers at you. Instead, in a spirit which recognizes our common weakness
and failings, we are here to pray for one another. We also hope that by asking these
questions, however poorly or well we have done with them this past week, we will
serve to call one another back to our most basic commitments in living faithfully
before God.
1. What truth from the Bible Studies or sermons over the past few weeks has God been

2.2
using in your life? How have you been applying those truths in specific ways?
2. Have you prayed for everyone in your Fellowship Group this week?
3. How often have you had devotions in the past week? Have they been perfunctory or
genuinely engaging?
4. What non-believers have you been praying for? What things have you been doing to
reach out to them with the gospel?
5. How are you doing in the pursuit of you personal spiritual goals?
Group Reporting 1. What successes are there to celebrate from your group?
(8:25-8:35) 2. Do you have an apprentice? If so, what activities are they performing in your group?
If not, are you praying for one?
3. What troubles or frustrations are you experiencing in your group?
3. Quality Control Periodic looks at the elements of group life. Reminders

(8:35-8:45)
4. Prayer (8:45-9:00) Prayer for group concerns that have arisen out of your discussions and for personal
concerns.
THE COMMUNITY GATHERING AGENDA

Although training is offered on a regular basis for both Fellowship Group leaders
and Elders at the Leadership Gathering, the training is especially geared for the
Group leaders. It is essential to have training suited uniquely to the elders and their
tasks. It is also important to have a systematic regular means for elders to
brainstorm, troubleshoot, and assist in the vision setting of the small group life of the
church. The following discussions at the monthly Coordinator's meeting are
designed to accomplish these tasks, so come prepared:
1. Quality Control 1. Covering next month’s quality control item or other important pastoral skills.
Teaching or Skill
Training (9:00 – 9:20)
2. Spiritual 1. What truth from the Bible Studies or sermons over the past few weeks has God been
Accountability using in your life? How have you been applying those truths in specific ways?
(9:20-9:30) 2. Have you prayed for every one of your Fellowship Group leaders the week?
3. How often have you had devotions in the past week? Have they been perfunctory or
genuinely engaging?
4. What non-believers have you been praying for? What things have you been doing to
reach out to them with the gospel?
5. How are you doing in the pursuit of you personal spiritual goals (see sheet on how
to develop personal goals)?
3. Group Reporting 1. Have you visited any groups since the last meeting? What strengths and weaknesses
(9:30-9:50) did the group have?
2. Did you meet with your fellowship group leaders since the last meeting?
3. What developments do have to report on in Fellowship Groups which you did not
visit?
4. Prayer (9:50-10:00) Praying for needs of the church, groups, individuals, and areas of personal concern.

2.3
Multiplying Groups and Leaders
In order for newcomers at Four Oaks to become part of the community, they
need to be connected to a small group. Therefore, our Fellowship Groups must
grow in four ways:
1. Invitation. More people need to be invited to join existing groups.
2. Multiplication. Groups need to be multiplied on a consistent basis.
3. Leadership. Leaders need to be developed from within the fellowship
groups.
4. Quality. The quality of the groups must be improving.
As a Group Leader, you must keep these four goals before your group. Enable
them to understand Four Oaks’ vision for reaching Tallahassee and model the
kind of winsome, welcoming character that will attract people to the Fellowship
Groups.
1. GROWTH BY INVITING NEW GROUP MEMBERS
Methods for meeting and attracting new people into your group:
1. Invite people yourself!
2. Regularly remind your group that they are welcome to invite people.
Encourage them to invite their friends from church or interested unchurched
friends.
3. Take some time to do Bible studies in the areas of: the welcoming nature of
God, what it means to be the body of Christ, or the great commission.
4. Take advantage of events where you can get to know newcomers.
2. GROWTH BY MULTIPLYING NEW GROUPS
Casting a Vision for If you are going to be successful at recruiting and developing apprentices and
Group Multiplication multiplying groups, then you will need to cast a vision that will make people
enthusiastic and committed to these things. If this vision casting is neglected, the
resistance to multiplying groups will prove too strong to overcome.
We are not concerned with multiplying groups as an end in itself. We want to
increase the number of groups because we want to provide quality pastoral care
and community life for those who are part of our congregation. As long as we
have too few groups, Four Oaks will fail to be as effective a church as we might
be.
Therefore, the primary vision emphasis is that by multiplying groups we are able
to increase our capability as a church to care for people. When people are not
involved in significant Christian relationships like Fellowship Groups it greatly
inhibits Christian maturity. Currently, many people in our church fall outside this
kind of caring and encouraging community. For these reasons, we consider it
imperative to develop new leaders and expand the number of groups.
Examples of Vision– Casting a vision for multiplication should happen regularly within the group.
Casting Here are some suggestions for how you might cast this vision in a succinct way
at appropriate moments in the group meeting:
1. Community and Christian Maturity. “By the way, it is important to
remind ourselves as a group from time to time that one of our goals is to
multiply. Because we believe that people do not grow into Christian
maturity apart from caring Christian community, we should desire to see our
group multiply, so that Four Oaks’ circle of care can expand to include
Part 2: Fellowship Groups Structure Multiplying Groups and leaders, 1

2.3
everyone in our congregation.”

2. Importance of pastoral care. “It is good to remember that one of our goals
as a group is to grow new groups. Because Four Oaks wants Fellowship
Groups to be the frontline of pastoral care, it is important the number of
groups increase in order to provide for people coming into the church. The
best way for new groups to begin is for currently existing groups to develop
new leaders and start them.”
3. Reaching newcomers. “New groups attract new people. Old groups
typically do not attract new people because individuals tend to feel closed
out of them. When we multiply groups, which are a vision we need to keep
before us, we not only create new groups but we renew our group so that it
is more open to newcomers. Newcomers are then able to receive the same
benefits from group life that we receive.”
4. Participation and size. “Our group has grown to a size in which it’s
difficult for everyone to participate in the conversation in a substantial way.
Yet it’s that ability to participate which gives value to our group experience.
For that reason, and also because so many people at Redeemer don’t have
the opportunity to participate in groups at all, it is important that we give
thought to multiplying our group.”
Methods of Multiplication DON’T divide groups arbitrarily down the middle. Instead multiply it by
splitting off a naturally occurring group who have affinity with one another– a
group of people who want to keep their relationships intact. Your coordinator
will help you decide on these three methods:
1. Direct Method: Talk about the group’s need to multiply, both for the sake
of the group and the kingdom. Let the group know that this task is in
process and that the apprentice is going to be branching off on a certain
date.
2. Indirect Method: Be in discussion about multiplying only with the
apprentice group leader. When the apprentice is ready, tell them to gather
people with whom they feel closest affinity and challenge them to start a
group together. After they are gathered, have the apprentice announce the
plan to the larger group in such a way that emphasizes their desire to extend
the group’s and church’s ability to reach out to more people. Make sure the
group knows they are not leaving because they are dissatisfied with the
existing group. A slight variation on this is to have the apprentice stay with
the group and the main leader branch off.
3. Steps Toward Multiplication: Allow the group to divide by their own
devices into sub-groups of three, four, or five. Note who gathered together
and who took leadership. Repeat this a number of weeks and see if any
specific clusters are gelling. Eventually formalize those groups with leaders.

2.3
1. Emotional Obstacles : Multiplication is perceived as a potentially painful

Obstacles to
event—a split which will sever relationships. People want to stay together.
Multiplication
We are not interested in ruthlessly disrupting beneficial relationships, either.
There are ways of multiplying groups which enable individuals to stay
together. The group also needs to learn that any group which fails to
multiply will grow stale or die within one or two years. Your job is to
convince both yourself and the group that multiplying is healthy for the
group and for the kingdom.
Until people have gone through a couple birthing generations they...
don’t feel they can separate because they don’t have confidence in
building relationships... Eventually, you get skills and confidence and
know you can form new relationships and begin to realize that great
benefit comes for many in birthing new cells. —Carl George
2. Logistical Obstacles: Typically, a Fellowship Group needs to meet at least
24 times to be “mature” enough to birth a new group. A group meeting 3
times a month would therefore have to meet about 8-9 months before being
ready (some in as little as 4-5 months). Any group must birth a new group
within 24 months or become ingrown and stagnant.
3. Leadership Obstacles: The main strangulation factor in our church’s
continued growth is development of new leaders. If the development of
apprentice leaders is not a main priority our hope of reaching and growing
new disciples will be thwarted.
3. GROWTH BY IDENTIFYING AND TRAINING AN APPRENTICE LEADER
The Importance of New Leadership is the crucial resource in the church for it to grow both in maturity
Leaders and outreach, and the most important role behind the Group Leader is the
Assistant/Apprentice. As a Group Leader, one of your major responsibilities is to
train, develop and deploy leaders. Therefore, we are working to have a co-leader/
apprentice paired with each Fellowship Group leader who will be groomed to
eventually lead the group and form his own. This pattern of leader/co-leader will
serve as the template for all of our Fellowship Groups.
Pray for New Leaders in Jesus said, “The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the
Your Group harvest, therefore to send out workers into his harvest field.” (Matt.9:37) We
need to be asking God to raise up new leaders. We should not expect them to just
appear without our praying. Especially when he has explicitly commanded us to
do so.
The Apprentice Process Four clear stages are marked out before a person becomes a leader. A potential
Summarized leader can move through those stages anywhere from six months to two years,
depending on their spiritual growth. You simply help them move from one step
to the next, giving them resources and evaluating their progress.
1. Each stage has identifying traits, things you should look for in a
developing leader. For example, in the first stage, the “Identify Stage”, you
look for newer Christians who display a passion for God and compassion
for people, a teachable spirit, and a regular attendance pattern. Pretty simple.
At least two people in every group ought to fit that description.
2. Each stage has a gradual increase in responsibilities. In stage two, the
apprentice leads the worship or the sharing/ prayer time. At stage three, they
lead the study with you present. Finally, they lead the study without you by
the time they reach stage four. Along the way, you’re able to give feedback
and encouragement.

2.3
3. Each stage also has training objectives and suggested resources . For
example, in stage three, the “Intern” stage, you can cover basic Bible
reading skills, basic interpersonal skills, and a vision for small group
community. The resources come from existing in-house teaching: sections
from the Manual or Bible study curriculum, School of Discipleship classes,
training seminars. If you prefer, you could discuss a recommended book
with the Intern. We will try to gather these materials into an Apprentice
Training Packet to make it even easier for you.
4. Each stage can take anywhere from one to six months, at a self-guided
pace. I hope that we will see this as an opportunity to pick someone in our
group to spend a little extra effort on, in order to help them grow into
servant-leaders. This is basically a guided mentoring or discipleship
program. Along the way, some people that you mentor may encounter
blocks to leadership. They may experience instability in their life, or they
may simply become too busy. Still, your extra time with them is worth the
effort to help produce a more effective disciple.

2.3
1. Identify Stage. You are simply attaching yourself to someone for additional
The Apprentice Stages
mentoring. Look for: someone with a passion for God, a hunger to know Him
Explained
more. They should also have a compassion for people and a desire to help
others know more of God’s grace.; they ought to exhibit signs of growth and
teachableness. Train them in: basic gospel truth through the Bible Study
materials (make sure they really are a Christian). Also, encourage basic spiritual
disciplines of personal bible study, worship, community and accountability,
service
2. Mentor Stage. At this stage, they begin to lead small portions of the group.
This is still an informal stage. Look for: someone able to lead the sharing/prayer
time or the worship time. Are they capable of this small leadership? Also, are
they faithful to the group? People who have led groups in other churches may
jump to this stage. Train them in: sections of the Manual discussing their
experience leading parts of the group. Also, help them to live out the gospel and
joyful repentance more fully in their lives.
3. Intern Stage. Now, the apprenticeship is a little more formal. Look for:
someone who, having gone through stages one and two, exhibits gospel
confidence in their leadership. They could lead the study with you present, and
are beginning to have a desire to lead. Train them in: sections of the Manual
relating to their leadership, and basic Bible reading skills. Also, help them with
some simple interpersonal skills that leaders need to develop. At this point, cast
a vision for small group community life in the church that builds on their
desires to lead.
4. Apprentice Stage. Announce to your group that this person is your apprentice
and may be launching a new group in the future. How does your group react?
Look for: someone that has the respect of the group and you feel confident in
letting them run the study portion occasionally without you present. They
should be able to articulate the gospel clearly from their own experience with
Christ’s grace and have a genuine concern for other people’s spiritual welfare.
5. In Conjunction with Your Sub-Flock Elder, Approve, and Launch!
Part 2: Fellowship Groups Structure Multiplying Groups and Leaders, 5

2.3
1. Teach. Use the written materials in the Manual or other sources as a guide. Pick
Basic Methodology:
a particular topic and give the materials to the apprentice. Discuss these the next
The Learning Process
time you meet. Focus on how the apprentice would apply what they learned in a
new group.
2. Demonstrate. Pick a difficult situation, such as helping a troubled person, and

walk through how you would handle it. Pay attention to the kinds of situations
that come from your experience rather than a “textbook” approach. Explore
options and decide what different results could be expected.
3. Observe. After you have taught them, allow the apprentice to take on more
responsibilities in the group. Watch them carefully.
4. Evaluate. Evaluate the apprentice as a means to point out successes as well as

areas to train. Utilize the forms (see section on Forms)
5. Encourage. Tell your apprentice often about whatever successes you see.
Discern his or her gifts and support them. Building on strengths is as helpful as
correcting weaknesses. By stage four, introduce your apprentice to other leaders
at Redeemer. Mentor and counsel them through personal issues.
This training is done on the job. It is best to be around to observe the person at
various tasks of leading the group so that you can offer encouragement and
constructive criticism. However, if you find that you are unable to attend a group
session, this provides a great opportunity for pushing a reluctant apprentice “out of
the nest.”
How do you mentor a See sections 4.5 and 4.6 for more details on mentoring and discipling people one-on-
growing leader? one. In brief:
Mentoring an apprentice is a particularly “anagogic” (vs. “pedagogic”) method of
education. It is based on principles of adult education. First, adults learn best through
self-direction. The apprentice participates in the design of developmental tasks,
while the leader focuses his/her resources on them. Second, adults learn best when
the imparted material accomplishes tasks and solves real-life problems. The leader
helps the apprentice identify problems caused by the lack of mastery of the material
to be taught. Third the leader teaches in response to the needs and problems the
learner is aware of.
A mentor/leader gives an apprentice three things:
1. New enriched perspective
2. Accountability
3. Encouragement/motivation to move ahead.
A good leader/apprentice relationship requires:

1. Attraction. The apprentice sees the leaders as having wisdom; the leader
appreciates the apprentice’s attitude and potential.
2. Accountability. Mutual responsibility for each other is worked out so
expectations are clear.

2.3
4. QUALITY GROWTH BY TRAINING: THE PATHWAY TO LEADERSHIP

1. Member of Four Oaks and in a Healthy Fellowship Group. Potential group
leaders benefit the most from extended participation in a healthy group
2. Co-Leader. A person is identified by the leader as an apprentice, and begins to

learn by means of on-the-job training and personal mentoring by the group
leader ( See the four stages above Identify, Mentor, Intern, Apprentice) These
stages last from six months to two years.
3. Quarterly Community Meeting. Once a person has “officially” taken on the

role of Co-Leader they may begin to attend the quarterly Community Meeting.
4. Fellowship Group New Leader Training Seminar. This seminar is held 2 times
a year (prospective leaders choose one to attend) on a Saturday from 8:30 a.m.
to 1 00 p.m.
5. Interview. Before a person can begin leading a group they ought to be

interviewed using the Fellowship Group Leader Qualifications form (Section
2.6) by one or more of the following: their Fellowship Group Leader, Elder, or
Pastor.
6. Systematic Theology Training and Education. Although not an option at this

point, there will ongoing educational opportunities in the future where leaders
are encouraged to further their theological development.

2.4
Fellowship Group Leader Qualifications and Job Description

The Fellowship Group Leader is the most important pastoral link in our church. You
are, literally and figuratively, an extension of the pastoral ministry. The Group Leader
is the person who is at the closest level of care and concern for the members of the
church. Your primary responsibility is to see that your group members mature
biblically. You will also be responsible to consistently keep your Elder informed about
the spiritual health of the group and its members.
Since the role is more pastoring-oriented than teaching-oriented, your lifestyle is
crucial. As a Group Leader, you will be modeling the Christian life to your group. Is
your walk dynamic and vital? The group will know. Dry and lifeless? The group will
know. Because of this, it is important that the leaders of these groups be accountable to
the church's leadership for their doctrine and morals. If you are being considered for
leadership of a Fellowship Group, we ask that you complete this form. Your
Fellowship Group leader, a Fellowship Group coordinator, or a Fellowship Group
director will cover this material with you.
DOCTRINAL QUALIFICATIONS
Christian Experience 1. Please write a brief paragraph describing how you came to put your trust in Jesus
Christ and become his follower.
2. What is the gospel? How would you define it?
Part 2: Fellowship Group Structure Fellowship Group Leader Qualifications and Job Description, 1
2.4
Christian Beliefs The Nicene Creed

I believe in one God,
the Father, the Almighty,
maker of heaven and earth,
of all that is, seen and unseen.
I believe in one Lord, Jesus Christ,

the only Son of God,
eternally begotten of the Father,
God from God, Light from Light,
true God from true God,
begotten, not made,
of one Being with the Father.
Through him all things were made.
For us and for our salvation
he came down from heaven:
by the power of the Holy Spirit
he became incarnate from the Virgin Mary,
and was made man.
For our sake he was crucified under Pontius Pilate;
he suffered death was buried.
On the third day he rose again
in accordance with the Scriptures;
he ascended into heaven
and is seated at the right hand of the Father.
He will come again in glory to judge the living and the dead,
and his kingdom will have no end.
I believe in the Holy Spirit, the Lord, the giver of life,

who proceeds from the Father and the Son.
With the Father and the Son he is worshipped and glorified.
He has spoken through the Prophets.
I believe in one holy catholic and apostolic Church.
I acknowledge one baptism for the forgiveness of sins.
I look for the resurrection of the dead,
and the life of the world to come.
1. Is there anything within this creed with which you are in disagreement? If so, what?
2. Do you subscribe to the EFCA Statement of Faith? Do you have any disagreements
with the Statement?
3. Have you gone through the membership process at Four Oaks? If not, are you
willing to at the next available opportunity?
2.4
MORAL QUALIFICATIONS
The Bible has much to say about behavior that is pleasing to God. The ten
commandments remain an excellent summary of what kind of lifestyle God expects
from his people. It is important that leaders strive to follow these commandments and
all of their implications. There are, however, a few areas of moral conduct in which
there is significant controversy as to what is biblically permissible. It is important for
leaders at Four Oaks to be in agreement in these areas. Again, these are not the only, or
even the most important, moral issues. However, in our cultural climate, they are often
disregarded and therefore as one who leads and pastors others we need to know where
you stand on them.
Sexual Ethics 1. We believe that sex is a gift from God by which we declare to a spouse that we
belong and are committed completely and exclusively to them. On that basis we
believe that sex outside of marriage is wrong and that living with someone with whom
you are romantically involved and yet to whom you are not married is also wrong. Can
you give your assent to those beliefs?
2. We believe that practicing a homosexual lifestyle is not an option for a Christian?
Can you subscribe to this belief?
Marriage Ethics 1. We believe that the covenant made in marriage is permanent and that divorce is
permissible only after desertion or a fundamental breaking of that covenant by one
partner by means of adultery. Do you have convictions other than these?
General Ethics 1. Though all of us fall as we strive to lead an obedient life, is there any behavior
which you believe to be wrong which you have given into or ceased to fight against
which you feel might disqualify you from leadership?
MATURITY & EMOTIONAL QUALIFICATIONS

It is important that you be emotionally stable and mature if you are going to be leading
a group. There can be events which take place in our lives which throw us off balance
for a season which make leading a group unwise. There can also be issues in a person's
lives with which we have not dealt effectively and which therefore cause the person to
behave towards others in inappropriate ways. It is wise to evaluate yourself and to seek
the opinions of others regarding these things.
Self-evaluation 1. Have you gone through an event recently that has left you feeling emotionally
unstable or disquieted?
Evaluation by Others 1. In asking others for their honest opinion about how you are received and perceived
by people, what have they told you?
ACCOUNTABILITY QUALIFICATIONS
It takes on the average of 5 to 6 hours per week to carry out the tasks of a Fellowship
Group leader well. One ought to count this cost before the decide to lead a group.
2.4
Leading the Group 1. Are you willing to convene a group two to four times per month and give the
necessary time to preparation?
2. Are you willing to follow up those who miss your group meeting or fail to attend for
a period of time?
3. Are you willing to commit yourself to developing an apprentice leader and to the
multiplication of your group?
Community Meeting 1. Will you make every effort to attend the quarterly Community Meeting?
FELLOWSHIP GROUP LEADER MINISTRY RESPONSIBILITES

Prerequisites:
Professing faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and completed Leadership Interview
Member of Four Oaks (or in process), and
Regularly attending, serving, giving at Four Oaks
Seeking to maintain a healthy personal relationship with God
Modeling (Prayer life, Christian growth and lifestyle must be healthy)

Exemplary lifestyle: 1) consistent, obedient walk
2) biblical stewardship
3) not undermining church teaching
Willing to step down or furlough if requested
Organization:
Well prepared to lead 2-4 meetings per month
Well balanced group meetings including all essentaI aspects
Recruit hospitality person for meeting place, food, communication, etc.
Recruit and train apprentice for future group leadership
Watch for newly emerging potential apprentices
Shepherding (Able to help each person grow)

Pray weekly for each member of the group
Facilitate genuine personal sharing of strengths, weaknesses, spiritual progress, needs, and problems
Encourage group members to spend time together outside group meeting and does so himself/herself1
Encourage members to seek ministry abilities and opportunities
Responsible for group’s numerical growth (conversion and assimilation)
Duties to Elder/Pastor (See the group as a well-connected part of the whole Body):
Attend quarterly Leadership Gathering
Reports group progress and problems to Elder at Leadership Gathering
Know what to do in a crisis. Refer acute issues to Elders, Pastors, or Counselors.
2.5
Leadership Training and Help

BASIC TRAINING
Co-leaders Training Co-leaders are trained by Fellowship Group Leaders as they assist in the leadership
of the group. Group Leaders are urged to identify and develop new leaders by
allowing potential leaders to tackle parts of managing the group. These Co-leaders
are encouraged to attend the quarterly Community Meeting and to take advantage of
all training available to Group Leaders. This "on the job" training should grow as the
Apprentice is given greater responsibility within their group.
2. New Leader The Four Oaks pastoral staff conducts an initial day-long training seminar for all
Training Seminar interested potential Fellowship Group leaders and apprentices. There is no obligation
to lead a group for anyone interested in learning more about group dynamics. The
training session covers the material in this Handbook in detail.
ONGOING TRAINING
Leadership Gatherings Throughout the year, leaders continue their training at the LG. The Group Leader's
huddle is the primary training time: the Elder will review leadership/ pastoral skills;
plus, troubleshooting; advice and referrals. In short, the LG is the best means for you
to continue developing as a leader. The LG is also your opportunity for feedback.
You can help guide your training by informing your Elder about areas that you feel
weak in.
Group Leaders can easily become burned-out without frequent leadership
development and support. The LG is designed to help you. We cannot urge you
enough to attend.
In addition to the group huddle at the LG, each Fellowship Group Leader is
encouraged to maintain bi-weekly contact with their Elder.
BIBLE STUDY CURRICULUM
Good curriculum is often times hard to find and even more difficult to adapt to a
diverse group. The Four Oaks pastoral staff has endeavored to assemble a biblically
sound reference list of studies that leaders can choose from to use in their groups.
More will be said about this later in this manual.
HELP!! (FELLOWSHIP GROUP 9-1-1)

1. Fellowship Group Need help? First, use this Handbook. Sections 3 and 4 should address most general
Handbook issues that you face as a leader. If you cannot find something in the Handbook,
please let us (Four Oaks pastoral staff) know for future editions. We have tried to be
both helpful and yet not overly complex.
2. Your Elder Your Elder’s main ministry responsibility is to assist you and your group. He or she
is available to you. Please contact your Elder first with any problems or questions
that you might have which go beyond the scope of this Handbook.
3. Experienced Group Other Group Leaders are an excellent source of advice and encouragement. If you
Leaders apprenticed under a Leader, why not call him or her? Other Leaders in your huddle
group are dedicated to helping you.
4. Community Pastor Your Community pastor partners with your elder in overseeing the Fellowship
Group structure. If there is a pastoral or personal situation that seems to go beyond
the bounds of the normal fellowship group experience, your Community pastor
should be brought into the loop.
Part 2: Fellowship Group Structure Leadership Training and Help, 1

2.6
Forms and Reports

WHAT ARE THE FORMS FOR?
The following forms are to assist Leaders, Elders, and Pastors in determining the
health and growth of all Fellowship Groups. The forms are not intended to be busy-
work or red tape. They are evaluation forms and every item in them has been
carefully chosen to focus on the most important elements. Any item that is
inappropriate to your situation may be ignored. The overriding concern is for the
members in the groups to be well cared for. You should keep a file of completed
forms so that you can judge improvements (or difficulties) over time, and you should
also bring these forms to the quarterly Community Meeting gatherings.
HOW DO YOU USE THEM?
NOTE:
Before filling out any of these forms, make a set of copies
(4-10 per year, depending on the form). Leave these
originals in your Handbook for future use.
1. Fellowship Group Once per quarter, Elders collect these from all group leaders at the Community
Status Report Meeting. The information is used in the Four Oaks members database to coordinate
the names of group attendees. This information helps church-wide analysis of
Fellowship Group life and measures the level of involvement.
2. Fellowship Group Leaders can periodically assess the health of their own groups using this guided set
Leader Self- of questions. This discussion can be facilitated by the Elder at the quarterly
Assessment Community Meeting.
3. Elder’s Sub-Flock A one-page summary of the groups under the care of a particular Elder, this form
Worksheet gives the Elder a quick ‘snap-shot” of their sub-flock’s group health. This form
should be used quarterly at the Community Meeting.
Part 2: Fellowship Group Structure Forms and Reports, 1

2.6
1. FELLOWSHIP GROUP STATUS REPORT

(Completed by Group Leaders on a quarterly basis. Bring to the CM.)
Group Leadership
Leader(s):
Apprentice Leader(s):
Host:
Date:
Group Participants:
Name of Group Participant Phone Status
Status Code: R - Regular Attender; O - Occasional Attender

2.6
2. FELLOWSHIP GROUP SELF-ASSESSMENT

These questions allow a Fellowship Group to conduct an open evaluation of its own vitality. The group leader, or
a Coordinator, guides the group through a discussion of the following questions. The goal is to improve the
group.
Questions regarding community

1. Is the purpose of our group clearly understood by everyone? Is the purpose regularly community being
mentioned within the group? Does our group regularly experience Jesus Christ in the midst of our group?
2. What is the quality of our group's prayer life?
3. What is the quality of participation in the group? Do we really listen to each other? Do we love in our
conversation?
4. Is our group growing as a community?
5. Does our group have a sense of being a part of the larger church? Is everyone plugged into ministries and
up-to-date about the vision of the whole church?
6. Do we have an outward mission for our group? Do we invite and include new participants? Do we reach out
in service to our community?
7. How does our group interact with one another between meetings?
Questions regarding group dynamics

1. Does the group begin and end on time? Why or why not?
2. Is there an atmosphere of openness, warmth, honest, sincerity, and genuineness?
3. Does everyone participate in the group? If not, why not?
4. Does everyone sense that they are valuable to the group? Are they given ownership in the group through
being encouraged to use their gifts? Is everyone able to contribute to the group by helping with various
tasks?
5. Is your attendance fairly consistent? If not, to what do you attribute the inconsistency?
6. What else is important consider to help our group meeting become even better?
Questions regarding elements of group life

How can we make
Should our group do What are our group’s
this
Element more or less of this? strengths in this area? area stronger?
Worship
Greeting
Bible Study
Prayer
Sharing
Outreach

2.6
3. ELDER’S SUB-FLOCK/HUDDLE WORKSHEET

Updated quarterly by Elders based on latest information at CM huddles.
Group 1 2 3 4 5
Leader
Co-Leader
Apprentice(s)
Host
Location
Time
Date Started
Study Curriculum
Recent Highlights
Focus for
Improvement
Group Fitness Score (E = excellent, A = average, W = needs work)

Atmosphere
Worship
Study
Sharing
Prayer
Outreach
Community

2.7
Additional Resources
RECOMMENDED BOOKS
Apologetics
Apologetics to the Glory of God: An Introduction by John M. Frame
Every Thought Captive: A Study Manual for the Defense of Christian

Truth by Richard L. Pratt
Handbook of Christian Apologetics: Hundreds of Answers to Crucial

Questions by Kreeft, Tacelli
The Bible
How to Read the Bible for All Its Worth by Gordon D. Fee
Turning on the Light: Discovering the Riches of God's Word (Light

for Your Path) by Carol J. Ruvolo
Search the Scriptures: A Three-Year Daily Devotional Guide to the Whole

Bible by Alan M. Stibbs
Part 2: Fellowship Group Structure Additional Resources, 1

2.7
Biographies
Spurgeon: A New Biography by Arnold A. Dallimore
George Whitefield: The Life and Times of the Great Evangelist of the
Eighteenth Century
by Arnold A. Dallimore
A Life of John Calvin: A Study in Shaping of Western Culture by Alister E.

McGrath
Luther by Heiko A. Oberman
Church History
The Early Church (Penguin History of the Church, 1) by Henry Chadwick
Eusebius: The History of the Church from Christ to Constantine by Eusebius
The Democratization of American Christianity by Nathan O. Hatch

2.7
Early Christian Doctrine : Revised Edition by J. N. D. Kelly
A History of Christianity in the United States and Canada by Mark A. Noll
Turning Points: Decisive Moments in the History of Christianity by Mark A. Noll
Church History In Plain Language Updated 2nd Edition by Bruce L. Shelley
Community
Life Together: The Classic Exploration of Faith in Community by Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Making Room: Recovering Hospitality As a Christian Tradition by Christine D. Pohl
Cultural Studies
The Next Christendom: The Coming of Global Christianity by Philip Jenkins

2.7
A Beginner's Guide to Crossing Cultures: Making Friends in a Multicultural World by

Patty Lane
Ministering Cross-Culturally: An Incarnational Model for Personal Relationships

by Sherwood G. Lingenfelter
More Than Equals: Racial Healing for the Sake of the Gospel by Spencer Perkins &
Chris Rice
The Cross-Cultural Process in Christian History: Studies in the Transmission and

Appropriation of Faith by Andrew F. Walls
The Missionary Movement in Christian History: Studies in Transmission of Faith by

Andrew F. Walls
Developing a Christian
World and Life View
Engaging God's World: A Christian Vision of Faith, Learning, and Living by Cornelius
Plantinga
Creation Regained: Biblical Basics for a Reformational Worldview by Albert M.

Wolters

2.7
Evangelism
The Heart of Evangelism by Jerram Barrs
Exploring Christianity
The New Testament Documents: Are They Reliable? by F. F. Bruce (Editor)
Reasons of the Heart: Recovering Christian Persuasion by William Edgar
Long Journey Home : A Guide to Your Search for the Meaning of Life by Os Guinness
The Creed : What Christians Believe and Why it Matters by LUKE TIMOTHY
JOHNSON (Author)
Christianity for Modern Pagans: Pascal's Pensees by Peter Kreeft
Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis

2.7
Love Walked Among Us: The Personal Side of Jesus by Paul E. Miller
Finding God at Harvard ed. Kelly Monroe
Reason for the Hope Within by Michael J. Murray (Editor), Alvin Plantinga
Why I Am a Christian by John Stott
General Christian Life
Holiness by Grace by Bryan Chapell
The Christian life : a doctrinal introduction by Sinclair B. Ferguson
Discovering God's Will by Sinclair B. Ferguson

2.7
Grow in Grace by Sinclair B. Ferguson
Dynamics of Spiritual Life: An Evangelical Theology of Renewal by Richard F.

Lovelace
A Quest for Godliness: The Puritan Vision of the Christian Life by J. I. Packer
Growing in Christ by J. I. Packer
Rediscovering Holiness by J. I. Packer
Step by Step: Divine Guidance for Ordinary Christians by James C. Petty
Desiring God by John Piper

2.7
The Pleasures of God : Meditations on God's Delight in Being God by John Piper
The Life of God in the Soul of Man by Henry Scougal
The Reign of Grace: The Delights and Demands of God's Love by Scotty Smith
Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life by Donald S. Whitney
Jesus – Contemporary
Studies
Hidden Gospels: How the Search for Jesus Lost Its Way by Philip Jenkins
Who Was Jesus? by N. T. Wright
Jesus – General
Introduction
Who Is This Jesus? : by Michael Green

2.7
Love Walked Among Us: The Personal Side of Jesus by Miller
Following Jesus: Biblical Reflections on Discipleship by NT Wright
Men and Women

Issues/Marriage
Intimate Allies (AACC Library)

by Dan B. Allendar
Each for the Other: Marriage As It's Meant to Be

by Bryan Chapell
The Mystery of Marriage : Meditations on the Miracle

by Mike Mason
Real Sex: The Naked Truth About Chastity

by Lauren F. Winner
Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood by John Piper and Wayne Grudem

2.7
Mercy/Justice
Ministries of Mercy: The Call of the Jericho Road by Timothy J. Keller
New to Christianity
Grow in Grace by Sinclair Furgeson
I want to be a Christian by J.I. Packer
Knowing God by J.I. Packer
Basic Christianity by John R. W. Stott
New Testament
The Historical Reliability of John's Gospel: Issues & Commentary by Craig L.

Blomberg
The Letter to the Hebrews: An Introduction and Commentary by Donald Guthrie
A Theology of the New Testament by George Eldon Ladd, Donald A. Hagner (Editor)

2.7
Matthew
(Exegetical)
Carson, D.A. (EBC, vol. 8 + Mark & Luke, 1984)(also available in 2 vols. P/B)
France, R.T. (TNTC, 1985)
Hagner, D.A. (WBC, 2 vols., 1993 & 1995)
(Expositional)
Carson, D.A. God with us: Themes from Matthew (California: Regal, 1985) O/P
For chapters 5-7 see: Carson, D.A. The Sermon on the Mount (Baker, 1978) BCL series
Stott, J.R.W. (BST, 1978)
For chapters 8-10 see: Carson, D.A. When Jesus Confronts the World (IVP, 1988)
Mark
(Exegetical)
Lane, W. (NICNT, 1974)

Hooker, M.D. (BNTC, 1995)
Gundry, R.H. Mark: A Commentary on his Apology for the Cross (Eerdmans, 1993)
(Expositional)
1. English, D. (BST, 1992)
Luke
(Exegetical)
Marshall, I.H. (NIGTC, 1978)

Nolland, J. ( WBC, 3 vols., 1989, 1993 & 1993)
Tannehill, R.C. (ANTC, 1996)
Expositional
Gooding, D. According to Luke (IVP/Eerdmans, 1987) O/P

Wilcock, M. (BST, 1979)
John
(Exegetical)
Barrett, C.K. The Gospel According to St. John (London: SPCK, 21978)
Carson, D.A. (IVP, 1991)
Stibbe, M. John (JSOT, 1993)
(Expositional)
Clements, R. Introducing Jesus (Kingsway, 1986)

Milne, B. (BST, 1993)
Acts
(Exegetical)
Barrett, C.K. (ICC, vol. 1 [chs. 1-14] 1994; vol.2 to come)

Tannehill, R.C. The Narrative Unity of Luke-Acts: A Literary Interpretation. Vol.2, The Acts of the

2.7
Apostles (Fortress, 1990)
(Expositional)
Longenecker, R.N. (EBC vol.9)

Romans
(Exegetical)
Cranfield, C.E.B. (ICC - 2 vols., 1975 & 1979)

Moo, D. (NICNT, 1996)
(Expositional)
1. Stott, J.R.W. (BST, 1994)
2. For chapters 9-11 see: Motyer, S. Israel in the Plan of God (IVP, 1989) (presently unavailable;
may or may not be reprinted)
1 Corinthians
(Exegetical)
Fee, G. (NICNT, 1987)

Barrett, C.K. (BNTC, 21971)
(Expositional)
1. Prior, D. (BST, 1985)
2. For chapters 12-14 see: Carson, D. Showing the Spirit (Grand Rapids: Baker, 1987)
2 Corinthians
(Exegetical)
Barrett, C.K. (BNTC, 1973)

Furnish, V.P. (AB, 1984)
Thrall, M. (ICC, vol. 1 [chs. 1-7] 1994; vol. 2 to come)
(Expositional)
Barnett, P. (BST, 1988)

For chapters 10-13 see: Carson, D.A. From Triumphalism to Maturity (Grand Rapids: Baker, 1984
Galatians
(Exegetical)
Bruce, F.F. (NIGTC, 1982)

Longenecker, R.N. (WBC, 1990)
Dunn, J.D.G. (BNTC, 1993)
(Expositional)
1. Stott, J.R.W. (BST, 1968)

2.7
Ephesians
(Exegetical)
Lincoln, A.T. (WBC, 1990)
(Expositional)

Martyn Lloyd-Jones (8 Volumes)
Philippians
(Exegetical)
O'Brien, P. (NIGTC, 1991)

Hawthorne, G. (WBC, 1983)
(Expositional)
1.Motyer, J.A. (BST, 1984)
Colossians & Philemon

(Exegetical)
O'Brien, P.T. (WBC, 1982)

Bruce, F.F. (NICNT with Ephesians 1984)
Wright, N.T. (TNTC, 1986)
(Expositional)
1. Lucas, R.C. (BST, 1983)
1&2 Thessalonians
(Exegetical)
Wanamaker, A.C. (NIGTC, 1990)

Bruce, F.F. (WBC, 1982)
(Expositional)
1. Stott, J.R.W. (BST, 1991)
1&2 Timothy
(Exegetical)
Knight, G.W. (NIGTC, 1992)

Fee, G. (NIBC, 1988)
(Expositional)
1. Stott, J.R.W. (BST, 1973) 2 vols: 1 Timothy & Titus , 2 Timothy

2.7
Titus (1&2 Timothy and Titus)

(Exegetical)
Knight, G.W. (NIGTC, 1992)

Fee, G. (NIBC, 1988)
(Expositional)
1.Stott, J.R.W. (BST, 1973) 2 vols: 1 Timothy & Titus , 2 Timothy
Philemon (usually Colossians and Philemon)

(Exegetical)
O'Brien, P.T. (WBC, 1982)

Bruce, F.F. (NICNT with Ephesians 1984)
Wright, N.T. (TNTC, 1986)
(Expositional)
1. Lucas, R.C. (BST, 1983)
Hebrews
(Exegetical)
Lane, W. (2 vols., WBC, 1991)

Attridge, H.W. (Hermeneia, 1989)
Hughes, P.E. A Commentary on the Epistle to the Hebrews (Eerdmans, 1977) S/H
(Expositional)
Lane, W. Hebrews: A Call to Commitment (Hendrickson, 1988)

Gooding, D. An Unshakeable Kingdom (IVP, 1989) O/P
James
(Exegetical)
Davids, P.H. (NIGTC, 1982)

Moo, D. (TNTC, 1985)
(Expositional)
1. Motyer, J.A. (BST, 1985)
2. Stulac, G.M. (NTCS, 1993)
1 Peter
(Exegetical)
Grudem, W. (TNTC, 1988)

Michaels, J.R. (WBC, 1988)
(Expositional)
1. Clowney, E.P. (BST, 1988)
2.Stibbs, A.M. & Walls, A.F. (TNTC [old series], 1959) S/H

2.7
2 Peter
(Exegetical)
Bauckham, R. (WBC, 1983)

Green, E.M.B. (TNTC, 21987)
(Expositional)
1. Lucas, R.C. & Green, C. (BST, 1995)
1,2 & 3 John

(Exegetical)
Marshall, I.H. (NICNT, 1978)

Stott, J.R.W. (TNTC, 1964)
(Expositional)
Clements, R. Walking in the Light (Kingsway, 1989) O/P

Jackman, D. (BST, 1988)
Jude (often 2 Peter & Jude)

(Exegetical)
Bauckham, R. (WBC, 1983)

Green, E.M.B. (TNTC, 1987)
(Expositional)
1. Lucas, R.C. & Green, C. (BST, 1995)
Revelation
(Exegetical)
Caird, G.B. (BNTC, 1966) O/P
(Expositional)
Barnett, P. Apocalypse Now and Then: Reading Revelation Today (Sydney: AIO, 1989) N/A
Wilcock, M. (BST, 1975)
Longman, Tremper. OT Commentary Survey. (InterVarsity/ Baker, 1991)
Kaiser, Walter. The OT Documents: Are They Reliable?
Old Testament Henry, Matthew. Commentary on the OT.
Calvin, John. Old Testament Commentaries.

2.7
Prayer Books
The Valley of Vision: A Collection of Puritan Prayers and Devotions by Arthur G.

Bennett
Book of Common Prayer (1979, Personal Size Economy, Black) Oxford University
Press
Pray with Your Eyes Open by Richard Pratt
Puritan Paperbacks
Sure Guide to Heaven (Puritan Paperbacks Series) by Joseph Alleine
A Lifting Up for the Downcast (Puritan Paperbacks Series) by William Bridge
Precious Remedies Against Satan's Devices (Puritan Paperbacks) by Thomas Brooks
Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment by Jeremiah Burroughs

2.7
Charity and Its Fruit by Jonathan Edwards
Keeping the Heart by John Flavel
Communion With God by John Owen
The Mortification of Sin by John Owen
A Body of Divinity: Contained in Sermons upon the Westminster Assembly's

Catechism (Body of Practical Divinity) by Thomas Watson
The Godly Man's Picture (Puritan Paperbacks Series) by Thomas Watson
Heaven Taken by Storm: Showing the Holy Violence a Christian Is to Put Forth in the Pursuit After
Glory
by Thomas Watson

2.7
Lords Prayer by Thomas Watson
Ten Commandments by Thomas Watson
Spiritual Formation,
Christian Growth, and
Prayer
Life Together: The Classic Exploration of Faith in Community by Dietrich Bonhoeffer
The Pursuit of God in the Company of Friends by Richard Lamb
True Spirituality by Francis Schaeffer
Spiritual Disciplines for the Christian Life by Donald S. Whitney
Ten Questions to Diagnose Your Spiritual Health by Donald S. Whitney

2.7
back to main menu

Theology
Institutes of the Christian Religion (Two Volumes in One) by John Calvin
Christian Life by Sinclair Furgeson
The Work of Christ (Contours of Christian Theology) by Kevin Letham
Galatians (Crossway Classic Commentaries) by Martin Luther
Concise Theology (sc) by J.I. Packer
Evangelism & the Sovereignty of God by J.I. Packer
Knowing God by J.I. Packer

2.7
Not the Way It's Supposed to Be : A Breviary of Sin by Cornelius Plantinga
Redemptive History and the New Testament Scriptures (Biblical and Theological
Studies) by Herman Ridderbos
The Cross of Christ by John Stott
Biblical Theology by Geerhardus Vos

PART THREE:
Fellowship Group
Dynamics
3.1
An Agenda for a Healthy Fellowship Group Meeting

THE PURPOSE OF THE GROUP CONTROLS THE AGENDA
The primary goal for the fellowship group meeting is to develop a Christian
community where we exhort and encourage one another in our fight for faith.
In order for this to be a reality, Jesus Christ must be experienced in his presence
and power. This is a community where, by the Spirit, Jesus ministers through one
another so that people are cared for and encouraged to live a God-pleasing life. This
is a community where Christ transforms and changes our lives as individuals, as
small communities, and the larger communities of which the group is a part.
The agenda of the group should be arranged in such a way that allows for this to
happen. Healthy small groups, since they are small communities of the church,
contain the following elements: Opening Exercises and Worship, Bible Study,
Sharing, and Kingdom Centered Prayer. An outward focused Mission is also part of
a healthy group. As a leader, you should be asking yourself whether the goals of the
group were achieved. Is your group experiencing Christ over time? If not, is it
because your group is imbalanced? While all five of these elements will not
necessarily receive equal emphasis at any particular Fellowship Group meeting, over
a series of meetings a balance between these elements must be achieved. Some
groups will experience certain of these elements better than others, but no group
should neglect weaker elements.
1. OPENING EXERCISES AND WORSHIP
It is appropriate to remind the group of the reason you are coming together at the
outset of the meeting. This sets a vision for the group and lets them know what the
expectations are for your time together. One effective way of doing this is to read a
statement like the following at the beginning:
We are here to know and experience Christ Jesus. He said, "Where two or three
are gathered together in my name there I am in their midst." "I will not leave
you orphans, I will come to you." "The Father and I will abide with you." "The
Spirit will be in you and with you." We believe Jesus does JUST what he
promised. We acknowledge his presence and welcome Him into our midst.
After this an opening prayer can be said. Some songs can be sung or a psalm can be
read and used for worship. (See the chapter on Worship in Small Groups). People
can be introduced and some form of ice-breaker can take place. The order in which
these tasks take place can vary. In a meeting which is an hour and a half long this
opening section should take 20-30 minutes. If a particular group wants to settle into
a longer meeting, the above elements might want to be preceded by a time of eating
and social interaction.
2. BIBLE STUDY
Sanctification (godly change) takes place when God’s truth and the power of the
Holy Spirit are together operating on our hearts. The clearest and most certain place
where truth can be found is in the Scriptures. For this reason, any group which hopes
to see lives transformed will be taking a serious look at the Bible.
As a general rule Bible study should last for 30-40 minutes. In order to keep the
Bible study portion an appropriate length it is best to focus on the main theme of a
passage, a couple of its primary points and their application. While the skilled
leader may often be able to get a group to look at the details of a passage in order to
substantiate those main points, group Bible Study is not the best place to focus on
those details. We will do much better to arrive at the broad, general meaning of the
Part 3: Fellowship Group Dynamics An Agenda for a Healthy Fellowship Group, 1

3.1
text rather than to arrive at a precise, in-depth meaning of the text. (See the chapter
on Reading and Interpreting the Bible for more details).
Why should Fellowship Groups avoid an overly detailed study of Scripture? First,
people tend to share from their ignorance rather than their knowledge when focusing
too much on the details. Second, often scholars disagree on the details when they
agree on the main point. We are not likely to be skilled enough to resolve the
problems that many scholars cannot resolve. Finally and most importantly, getting
lost in the details will rarely be the most spiritually beneficial for the group. It is
simply not an effective or helpful use of the Bible study time. Taking into account
the centrality of the Scriptures in transforming lives, our tendency as a church might
be to let Bible study monopolize our groups. A leader should avoid this tendency.
First, it often just gives us “mere information” which we fail to act on or apply.
Second, people tend to reach a point of diminishing returns in studying the Bible.
They lose their ability to concentrate and begin to get either overwhelmed or bored.
It does more harm than good to go beyond the saturation level. Finally, when Bible
study dominates the time our ability to fulfill the "one another commands" of
Scripture gets undermined, and prayer (which is crucial to changing our lives)
usually gets relegated to a rushed activity at the end of the meeting.
[Note: An experienced leader may be able to interweave sharing and prayer into the
Bible study time. If the Bible study leader uses personal, pointed, specific
application questions and the group is allowed to minister to one another during this
time, such a structure can be a very good, sophisticated model for a group. Prayer
requests for one another would be flowing out of such Bible study and prayer itself
might be interjected throughout the time. This model is complicated and we do not
recommend it unless the leader is quite skilled].
3. SHARING
Fellowship is a word which means "joint ownership" or "mutual sharing" and the
primary commodity which we jointly own and share is a relationship with God. We
belong to each other as Christians. To fellowship with one another means, on the one
hand, to share with one another what we are learning about God and how he is
working in our lives. On the other hand, it means being genuinely concerned and
seeing it as our duty to look out for each other's overall well-being. This will involve
bearing one another's emotional and physical burdens. It will involve holding each
other accountable for spiritual growth.
This activity will partially take place in the midst of studying the Bible together. It
will involve taking specific time to talk about how we see God at work in our lives
or how we long to see him at work. Out of genuine concern for others in the group,
hold each another accountable to the things which God requires of us, because at the
deepest level we truly want to be held accountable to living a life that is pleasing to
God.
An effective way of leading such a sharing time which could potentially be done
weekly is to get the group to ask themselves, "What work of his power and grace
does Christ wish to do in our life right now?"
Often someone will share a need that Christ wishes to address in their lives which
will provide opportunity for prayer, ministry and edification. If there is not enough
time, encourage people to continue to minister to one another after the meeting has
ended. This question can be asked effectively week in and week out. However, you
are certainly not limited to this question during sharing time. This portion of the
meeting should be given 20-25 minutes. (For other ideas see the chapter on
Fellowship).

3.1
Do not be afraid of silence at this time. Let people know that you will give them at
least a few minutes of silence. Allow God room to work. A person need not focus on
the whole scope of their life, but only on one specific area. If no one feels led to
share after five minutes of silence then proceed to the next part.
4. KINGDOM-CENTERED PRAYER
One writer has said that “prayer is the most practical thing anyone can do. It is not
mystical escape, it is historical engagement. Prayer participates in God's action. God
gathers our cries and our praises, our petitions and intercessions, and uses them. The
prayers that ascended to God now descend to earth. God uses our prayers in his
work.” It is the chief way in which we help one another.
One effective way to get a group to end by focusing outside of itself and thinking
about how they will be participating in Christ's purpose is to get each person in the
group to answer the following question: "How does Christ want to use me to touch
the hurts in the world this week?"
Give opportunity for each person to share. People may also state their personal
prayer requests. Depending on the size of your group, you may need to break down
into smaller sub-groups in order to engage in this activity effectively. Close with
prayer focusing on the specific ministry visions God has given. This portion of the
meeting should be given 15-20 minutes. (See the chapter on Prayer in the Group).
5. AN OUTWARD MISSION FOR YOUR GROUP

As long as people come to fellowship groups primarily for what they can get out of
it, rather than for what they can contribute to it, the groups will be unhealthy and
anemic. As long as our deepest commitment is to ourselves, loyalty to the group will
be minimal. Jesus came "to seek and save the lost." The activity which energized his
life was looking out to needs beyond his own, not an obsession with caring for
himself. Therefore, the starting point for mission in our groups is the other members
of the group. When we see that that life is essentially us and not just me, a deep
sense of responsibility and connectedness develops.
This other-centered mindset inevitably translates to the group as a whole looking
beyond its immediate needs to the needs of those outside the group. Maybe it will
involve the group taking on projects of outreach to the homeless, the poor, the
hospitalized, AIDS victims, nursing home residents, etc. Or perhaps it will involve
reaching out to newcomers at Four Oaks and seeking to assimilate them into biblical
community. It may involve supporting one another in individual missions which we
are carrying on outside the group meeting. But if a group is to follow Jesus, they will
imitate him in mission. Otherwise they will become ingrown, stagnate and lifeless.
SAMPLE GROUP STRUCTURES FOR DIFFERENT GROUPS
New Group, 90 min Mature Group, 90 min Mature Group, 120 min
Worship, 15 min. Worship, 10min Worship & Ice-breaker,35 min.

Icebreaker and getting Ice-breaker, 10min Bible study, 45min
acquainted, 30min Bible study, 40min Plan outreach event, 10min
Bible study, 25min
Sharing & prayer, 30min Sharing & prayer, 30min
Sharing & prayer, 20min

3.2
Understanding Group Dynamics

KEEPING THE GOAL IN MIND
Remember that the purpose of Fellowship Groups is to exhort and encourage one
another in the fight for faith by experiencing Christ Jesus in our midst ministering to
us and through us to one another so that our community and lives are changed. Your
goal is to help create an environment where this purpose can be accomplished. You
want to avoid things which will hinder the accomplishment of this purpose. The
environment ought to be one which is warm, relaxed and safe, where people can
share honestly, openly, and appropriately about their lives or the topic in question,
always with the truth of the Scriptures in view. Creating this kind of environment is
an intangible effort which is difficult to put down in "rules." If you as a leader feel
somewhat weak in the hospitality gifts, choose a particularly strong host.
Ultimately you want it to be easy for people to answer the following kinds of
questions: "What is God's perspective on a certain aspect of my life or a certain
feeling which I have shared?" or "How does this truth we are talking about apply to
my actual life? What concrete, specific things should I do in light of this truth?"
Two opposite problems concerning sharing must be avoided: (1) Sharing one's
feelings without seeking to understand God's perspective. (2) Talking about the truth
without seeking to apply it and see how it specifically relates to personal life -
thinking, acting, choosing. The purpose of all of your interaction is to bring both
yourself and everyone else in the group to a renewed sense of attentiveness to God.
The following guidelines are given to help you create the environment where this
kind of sharing can take place.
SIZE OF YOUR GROUP

The size of your group dramatically effects your ability to lead and the group's
ability to unite. Both ends of the spectrum, too small and too large, can create
barriers to fellowship. What is optimal? According to Gorman, most small group
researchers say that five is optimal for discussion and involvement. Twenty is the
upper limit and any size over eight means that some members may not contribute
during the group. These observations are caused by the number of interaction
channels within the group. In a group of four, nteraction channels number 28, in a
group of eight, there are 1,056 channels!
According to research, as groups grow larger, conversation centers on the talkative
few, including the leader. Participation as a whole decreases and group members are
less satisfied, committed, and cared for. Therefore, Four Oaks strongly encourages
that groups multiply when they have reached around 12-15 members or more. Two
smaller groups are much more vital than one larger one.
This information should also encourage leaders who feel that their group is too
small. Since five is optimal, do not give up on a smaller group, but rather take
advantage of the size to provide strong, intimate care.
Part 3: Fellowship Group Dynamics Fellowship: Understanding Group Dynamics, 1

3.2
SET-UP OF YOUR ROOM

Simple adjustments to your room make it welcoming, hospitable, and interactive:
1. The group should sit in a circle. The circle should be fairly tight but not
claustrophobic. Every person ought to be able to see every other person in the
group. Do not have people sitting behind others.
2. Have all people sit on the same level, not some on the floor and some in chairs.
This may require you to add some folding chairs if your group grows. Consider
seating space for 12-15 when choosing a host home. When people start sitting
on the floor, it is time to multiply your group!
3. Watch where you sit; try to be somewhat central. Some leaders like to move to
a different seat each week, others like to stay put. Try not to sit where you are
focused on the same people each week. Be accessible to your whole group.
4. The room should be well-lit so that people can see each other and their Bible.
However, it is best if the light is not glaring.
5. Refreshments? Groups vary widely. Some do not provide any and some have
practically a banquet each week. Suit your own style, and above all, budget in
determining what kind of refreshments to serve. If you can afford some simple
refreshments (coffee, tea, water and some cookies, etc.), place them out early so
people can have something when they arrive and while you are waiting for the
rest of the group to show up.
6. Turn the telephone ringer off or down. And background music, if used at all,
shouldn’t be distracting.
7. An occasional or even monthly dinner is a great means to turn strangers into
friends. Gather everyone's help, make it fun and keep the agenda simple. You
may even try themes (Chinese, Mexican, Italian, etc.).
THE INITIAL STAGE OF YOUR GROUP

The initial stage of group life is a crucial stage of exploration and getting to know
each other. During this stage people check each other out and determine whether this
is a group they will feel comfortable sharing in. The dominant amount of time during
this stage needs to be spent on relationship building. (For a further discussion of
stages, see the following chapter on Stages in Group Life).
Ice Breakers - Going You can help facilitate this initial stage of discovery by:
from Low Risk to High
Risk Sharing 1. Making sure everyone knows each other's names and some basic details about
each other (where they grew up, where they currently live, the number of
brothers and sisters they have, their favorite hobbies and activites, favorite
novel, favorite movie, etc.). Don't worry about too much repetition on this basic
biographical information.
2. Using ice-breakers on an ongoing basis. Realize that this atmosphere needs to
be recreated each time the group meets. This is especially true when you have
new people coming in on a regular basis or people are irregular in their
attendance.
3. Using ice-breakers that are appropriate for the particular group. If it is too
"childish" people will not feel comfortable. Realize also that different questions
have different amounts of risk attached to answering them. A low risk question
is "What is your name?" A very high risk question is "What specific sins did
you commit this week?" During the initial stages of group life you need to
concentrate on low risk questions. This prepares people to answer higher risk
questions as your group develops. (See Genuine Sharing for more question

3.2
ideas).
4. Allowing everyone to tell their history. This is an important, and sadly
overlooked, step in knowing and understanding your group members. All of us
have experienced God's grace in our lives and sharing that experience both
solidifies our own faith and builds up fellow Christians. Make sure that each
person in your group understands the way that the Holy Spirit entered their life
and continues to work in them. Marvel and praise God for what he has done in
each other's lives.
Using the Initial A set of questions which have traditionally been used when groups are getting
"Quaker Questions" started are known as the Quaker Questions:
1. Where were you living at age 7, and how many brothers and sisters were in
your household?
2. What were the winters like?
3. What was the center of warmth in your life when you were 7 years old? (This
can be a person, a place in the house, or a time of the year - like Christmas.)
4. When did God become more than just a name to you?
Once a group is up and going you can continue to make up questions a long these
lines or get them from other sources. Two such source books are: The Book of
Questions by Gregory Stock, Workman Publishing, 1987, and 201 Great Questions
by Jerry Jones, NavPress, 1988.
Questions to Rekindle Another set of questions which may prove helpful in getting the group to warm up
Warmth when you sit down for your meeting each week are the following:
1. What was an important event in your life this past week? Take one minute to
full us in on the details.
2. What is one of the better things that happened to you this week?
3. What was a significant thing which happened to you this past week?
4. Who has had the greatest influence on you life since we gathered last?
The good thing about these questions is that you can ask any one of them week in
and week out and the answers will be always changing. You will probably want to
break the rut from time to time and use and ice-breaker with a bit more creativity.
However, these questions help to bring out what is going on in people's lives and can
be relied upon time and time again.
YOUR VERBAL INTERACTION SKILLS
1. Enthusiasm. Your evident enthusiasm for the topic under discussion and your
evident concern for what people are sharing establish the appropriate and
expected behavior in the group. Your attitudes set the tone for the group.
2. Honesty. Your honest sharing, transparency, and vulnerability will be
contagious. You don't need to tell people to be open. You need to model and
others will follow. If you are not open and truthful, others will probably not be
either. You will have only surface conversation which will have very little
impact on people's lives.
3. Affirmation. Do not ridicule or make light of what people share in sincerity.
Instead affirm them for their honesty. Otherwise you will stifle genuine sharing.
4. Freedom. Unless you are going around the circle in a sharing activity, do not
put people on the spot by calling on them to answer a given question or forcing
them to share. You may embarrass them. They will no longer feel that the group
3.2
is a safe place to be and are likely to be driven away and not return. Indeed, it is
a good idea to announce that you will not force people to answer questions and
that you will respect people's right not to speak. This does not mean that at
sometime you could not privately talk to that person and ask them why they are
reluctant to share. It would be appropriate to tell them that you value them as an
individual and would love to have their input in the group. However, you need
to also tell them that you respect their right to not share anything if they so
choose.
5. Equal Access. If an individual dominates your group's discussion you might
need to say in a tactful and light-hearted way, "How about someone else besides
Erik this time." If the behavior continues you might need to talk to them
individually outside the group time.
6. Suitability. Silence in a group can mean a number of things. You must diagnose
the silence if you are to address it correctly. (See Asking Good Questions for
details).
a) It may be a good question and people are just thinking about. Let the
silence endure. Perhaps rephrase it to fill up the silence so others aren't
intimidated by it.
b) It may be that people don't understand the question. Rephrase it.
c) It may be too obvious. Get it answered quickly and go on to the next one.
d) The question is too risky for anyone to answer.
e) It may just be a bad question. Make it into a good one or get on to the next
question.
7. Summarize. Get feedback. Ask: “What conclusions have we come to?" "What
did you gain from the small group time?" "What new insights do you have?"
"What were you reminded of that you had forgotten?" "What will you carry
away from this meeting?" “Do you sense that we have met with God and
experienced his presence?” This will benefit the group members and will help
you evaluate how you are doing in facilitating the group and if you are
accomplishing your purpose.

3.3
Stages in Group Life

THE LIFE CYCLE OF A FELLOWSHIP GROUP
In developing healthy biblical community, Fellowship Groups will generally go
through a series of stages. These stages, like stages in life, are never clearly marked.
Sometimes, you may not even notice that your group has passed from one to the
next. However, a basic understanding of stages will help you adjust to the different
issues and problems of each level of group maturity. It may explain why someone
left the group, why no one answers your questions, why conflict occurs.
"These stages are descriptive and not prescriptive for small groups. That is,
they describe groups, they don't say how they should go. Leaders should not try
to force their groups through these stages. - from Good Things Come in Small
Groups (IVP).
THE STAGES EXPLAINED

A Fellowship Group Although different names are given to the stages in group life, most analysts of
"Timeline" fellowship group recognize a similar pattern. In "timeline" format the cycle looks
like the following:
Growing Deeper  Transition 
Bonding  Mutual Ministry and Service  Multiply 
The Stages in Detail Although the group as a whole passes through these stages together, remember that
some people may be on a different "timeline". Experienced fellowship group
members enter the group with positive and negative reminders from their past
groups. People who have never been in a group before may press expectations on the
group that come from outside sources– business roundtables, recovery groups,
sports. Finally, one should be aware that the stages are experienced in a fluid
manner. Once one has moved on to a new stage they do not completely leave the
previous stages behind. For instance, group “bonding” continues to occur even when
the group has passed over into the stage of “mutual ministry and service.” Also along
these lines, whenever new members join an existing group, those individuals begin
at the "bonding" stage. These new people also have an effect on the group as a
whole, causing it to step back a stage or so until the person is enfolded into the
group.
1. Bonding (First 3-5 A stage of exploration, and usually excitement, occurs when the group first starts.
meetings) But there is also some anxiety. Attenders are asking, “Do I belong?” “Do people like
me?” “Do I like them?” “What is the purpose of this group?” “Is this group going to
work?” “Can I trust this leader?” “Am I and my ideas viewed as significant and
valuable?” The leader should be aware that these kinds of questions are being asked.
Good preparation and solid leadership are critical to the first few meetings. It is
essential that you make the purpose of the group clearly known during this stage. For
the understood purpose shapes the expectations, attitudes and actions of the group.
The primary needs of people in this stage are to feel welcome, connected, relaxed
and safe. Most of the time is spent in acquaintance activities and in genuine sharing.
People need to get the idea that they can be honest. They need to know that other
group members and especially the leader will not be shocked by what they hear or be
condemning. The leader will set the pattern for this sharing. Others will follow his or
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3.3
her lead. Yet, the leader must not rush this. As Gorman writes “Too much intimacy
too soon frightens persons at this stage much intimacy. The leader who forces
intimacy on participants (physical hugs or psychologically revealing sharing) may
find they won’t be back. But if they don’t eventually move in the direction of
closeness, neither will they feel satisfied.” One of the best and safest kinds of sharing
to do at this stage is to focus on past events and experiences.
2. Growing Deeper Once the "honeymoon" is over and group members know each other a little better,
differences in personality, in expectations, in maturity, etc. can create conflict. By
the third or fourth meeting, people have to decide whether to commit to the group or
not. When a group isn't meeting a member's "needs", he or she may want to leave.
You may deal with inconsistent attendance, or dropouts. (Note that this also happens
after a new member joins your existing group.) The group will also need to be
dealing with those who tend to dominate and control the group and prevent it from
being a positive experience. If there are overly angry persons, the overly critical
persons, the overly talkative individuals, or especially needy persons in the group
they will have emerged by this time. You will have to develop a strategy for helping
them to become productive members of the group.
People are determining how much they can trust one another with the reality of their
lives at this stage. They are asking the questions, “How honest can I be?” “Can I
open up?” The leader continues to set the tone for sharing. People gauge how honest
and real they can be by how honest and real the leader is being. It is important to
promote healthy tension during this stage. People need to know that it is O.K. to
disagree with the leader and with one another. The leader can facilitate this by asking
“agree/disagree questions” and by playing “devil’s advocate.” Bible study becomes
richer in terms of application as this stage progresses.
Another set of questions that is being asked at this stage is “Do I feel built up and
helped by being here?” “Is this a place where I can build up and help others?” These
questions help assess whether a genuine interdependent community is developing.
Also during this stage, the group must become our group, not just the leader's group.
A sense of “we-ness” ought to be developing. One method to accomplish this goal is
to write out a group covenant. See the chapter on Developing Group Loyalty in
Section Three for ideas on group covenants.
It is important that you not be defensive about individuals who decide that this is not
the group for them and leave. Do your best to follow up with them, find out why
they are leaving, and recommend a new group. No group can suit everyone; at
Redeemer, there are enough other choices.
3. Mutual Ministry and In this stage, people have committed to the group, and have generally begun to look
Service past their own needs to the others in the group. All the group elements: fellowship,
Bible study, mission, worship, prayer, etc. should have their place. Members feel
more comfortable in the group and sharing is more genuine. People are carrying out
the “one another” commands. They are looking to each other for support and not just
the leader. Your group should feel close and warm community, with group members
regularly praying and caring for one another. Group members should be
experiencing significant growth in their Christian life. Don't be surprised if some
members voice deeply personal problems or disagreements with each other.
Handling these issues with honesty and grace will help the group grow in maturity.
A potential pitfall in this stage is that one member's problems overtake the group. If
necessary, spend time outside of the group with the person, pair them with a mature
group member, or refer them to support.
You may experience emotional ups and downs as your group goes from a great
meeting one week to a disappointing one the next. You will benefit greatly by

3.3
evaluating your group at this stage and making minor adjustments. Discuss with your
Elder any problems you are experiencing. Confirm that your apprentice/co-leader is
on point and tracking with you.
As a leader, you are still responsible for keeping the relationships deep and honest.
Resting in your "successes" is a sure-fire way to create boredom. Maintain your
preparation and continue to evaluate and adjust. Enliven the group up with an outing,
a special dinner or a group retreat. Break with routine.
In addition to caring for one another, the group will also begin to look outside itself.
This may take the form of group service projects or outreach activities, or it might
simply involve the members being supportive of one another in their individual
mission endeavors.
Finally, in this stage the apprentice ought to be much more involved in sharing the
leadership of the group.
4. Transition and When a group has grown large enough and matures enough to multiply, it is
Multiplication important for you to prepare the group for such a transition. This same situation
applies to groups which terminate or break for the summer. Termination is difficult;
groups need to close, to review where they have been, to celebrate joys, and to plan
for new groups. Don't wait for the last night; spend a couple of meetings closing the
group. Resolve any loose ends, keep relationships going smoothly, and provide for
members who need special attention.
By this stage, your Apprentice Leader ought to be trained and ready to lead a group.
Rather than splitting your group down the middle, choose a couple of members to go
with the Apprentice to "birth" a new group. See Multiplying Groups.
Finally, be aware that some groups will come to an end without multiplying. There
are numerous reasons why this might take place. Perhaps people have moved away.
Maybe the leader was never quite able to get the group to gel and interest has died
out. Maybe people have come to like each other so much that they are no longer
willing to speak the truth in love for fear of hurting the friendships. All of these can
be legitimate reasons to end the group. Do not consider such groups a failure.
Undoubtedly, a number of good things took place in people’s lives and individuals
grew in maturity. Make sure you take time to celebrate what took place and to affirm
one another. The mistake you should avoid is trying to prolong the life of the group
when everyone would be best served by moving on to a new group.

3.4
Developing Group Loyalty

DEVELOPING GROUP LOYALTY
See “Take this Group and Own It!” from Why Small Groups
1. Sincerity. Cultivate in yourself a sincere, authentic concern for each person who
attends the group. No program you create will make up for this. Develop God's
perspective on each individual. In Acts 20:28 Paul says, "Be shepherds of the
church of God which he bought with this own blood." If Jesus loved each
person in your group enough to die for them, we can certainly seek to love them
enough to give the energy to really listen when they speak pray for them,
perhaps call them from time to time, and think about how we might advance
God's purpose in their lives. We ought to say about each person, "Christ's care
has been demonstrated by individually choosing and setting his love upon this
person. Therefore, they are worthy of my full attention and authentic concern
when I am speaking to them." People can tell whether you really love them or if
you are just faking it.
2. Encouragement. Be vocal about telling people about how important and
valuable they are to the group. (Here again be honest. Don't over do it.)
Consider meeting individually with people in your group for lunch.
3. Follow-up. Call first time visitors within 48 hours after their first visit to tell
them you were glad that they were there. Ask them if they have questions about
the group or if there is anything you can do for them. Maybe have lunch with
them.
4. Punctuality. Respect people's schedules. Begin and END on time. It is better to
be too short and have people wishing the group would last longer than to have
the group last too long so that people are discretely looking at their watches
wondering when things are finally going to end.
5. Importance. Continue to ask yourself, "Do people consider the time they put
into the group a worthwhile investment? What changes if any can I make so
they find it more worthwhile? Is there anything we are doing that should be
deleted or shortened? Is there anything that should be added or have it's time
allotment lengthened?" Attendance problems never arise when a group is worth
coming to.
6. Friendship. Get people together for activities outside the normal group time.
7. Mutual Support. Set up a system whereby people in the group communicate
with another person in the group between meetings. Give a good amount of
freedom with regards to what form this communication should take (have a
meal, call and ask how things are going and if there is anything to pray for,
praying together.)
8. Pairing. Break the group down into smaller groups for specific application of
the study, sharing and prayer from time to time. This has two effects. First,
people open up a bit more and it fosters a greater sense of intimacy between
individuals. Second, it prevents the sharing time from dragging out too long.
9. Commitment. Do a Bible study on what it means to be devoted to one another.
Get the group to consciously think about how the presence or lack of
commitment affects a group.
10. Develop Leaders. Share leadership in the group. Get people using their gifts for
the benefits of others.
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3.5
The Role of Children in Fellowship Groups

CHILDREN AND ADULTS TOGETHER
Fellowship Groups can be unique opportunities in which adults and children
participate together in the life of the group. Children and adults, (whether they be
married, childless, single parents or just plain single), are seen as valued members of
the community. Both children and adults are expected to be contributors to the life of
the group. And it is the intention that both children and adults will grow in Christ-
likeness through their participation in the community.
WHY INCORPORATE CHILDREN INTO GROUPS?
The place of children It is clear from the Scriptures that when God called a people to be his own, children
among God’s people were considered to be vital members of that community. The children were included
in the communities’ celebrations and its sadness. When God delivered his people
from the hands of the Egyptians, the children experienced that deliverance with their
parents and were included in their conversations about God’s mighty works. When
the Israelites wandered through the desert and entered into the promised land, their
children were with them and entered with them. They were witnesses to God’s
power and awesome deeds on every occasion.
We have developed the strange habit of regularly sequestering the children from the
adults within the community of God’s people. We get to church and parents go in
one direction while their children go in another. Even worse, in our small group
communities, where we get to hear stories of how God has changed and is changing
people’s lives children are not present to hear them. These practices are not only out
of step with the history of God’s people, they are also detrimental to the spiritual
lives of the Christian community’s children.
If our children are to avoid becoming entrapped in a religion of “form’ but without
the power: or from dropping out of Christianity altogether, then certainly it is very
important that they experience the power of God up close and see it with their own
eyes. When children have the opportunity to hear a wide variety of people confessing
their sin and weaknesses, speaking of how God is working in their lives, and talking
about how they are sharing the gospel with co-workers and friends, there is far less
of chance that they will grow up saying, “There is no God.” Being involved in a
Home Fellowship Group provides them with the opportunity to see vital Christianity
at work.
The benefits children Scattered throughout the Scriptures are examples of children who had a significant
bring to God’s people place among God’s people and who made significant contributions to the life of
God’s people. Moses, Samuel, and Jeremiah are examples of those who had
encounters and experiences with God at a very young age. Our children are also
capable of encountering and knowing God. The same Spirit that resides within adult
Christians resides within the children of God’s people. Therefore, we should expect
that Christ will minister through them. They may not have the same sophistication of
expression that an adult would have, but they can still make just as profound an
impact if we do not let our pride get in the way.
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3.5
The need for a The church needs a renewed perspective on its children. Too often they are viewed
renewed perspective as being an inconvenience and a hindrance to spiritual experience. We remove them
on children from the rest of us so that we can have our quiet and reflective times with other
adults in God’s presence. These attitudes and actions are detrimental to the children
in the community, the adults of the community (both parents and non-parents), and
to the future of the church. They are also disobedient to God.
What we need is to be renewed with Christ’s vision of children. “Whoever welcomes
one of these little children in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me
does not welcome me but the one who sent me.” “Let the little children come to me.
And do not hinder them, for to such belongs the Kingdom of God.” “And he took the
children in his arms and put his hands on them and blessed them.” Apparently,
having children with us as we worship, learn and share, (with all the chaos that such
gatherings entail), was Jesus’ idea of what genuine spiritual experience was all
about. We will do well to join him in that perspective.
POSSIBLE FORMATS FOR INTEGRATING CHILDREN INTO GROUPS

Careful handling of the schedule is extremely important for a successful
intergenerational group. The attention span of very young children is quite limited.
They will grow restless and potentially become disruptive to the group if any
particular activity lasts longer than 20 minutes. Therefore, you will need to keep the
group moving along if they are to remain engaged.
SUGGESTED SCHEDULE
Initial Gathering: The purpose of the initial gathering is that intergenerationally we might experience
Worship and the presence and power of Christ Jesus in our midst.
Fellowship (35-45
minutes) 1. Welcome, Statement of the Group Purpose, Introduction of Worship. If a time of
eating and fellowship precedes the worship time, children can play with one another
or eat with parents.
2. Worship. The worship songs chosen ought to be of such a nature that both adults
and children are able to worship. They ought not to be “cute” songs or “kiddy”
songs. Even children are often embarrassed when singing songs that are directed at a
level below them. The songs chosen ought to convey a sense of joy as well as a
sense of reverence and awe. It is far better to aim too high in terms of the songs
chosen rather than aiming too low.
3. Ice-breakers, Games, or Group Activity. The questions asked or activities engaged
in ought to be chosen on the basis of their appropriateness for all the age-groups
which are represented in the community. The Appendix lists a number of
possibilities.
4. Family Reporting and Group Sharing. This is a time for sharing events that have
happened or are coming up in people’s lives. Birthdays, upcoming tests, school
plays, promotions, doctors appointments, and the like should be mentioned. It is a
good idea to have a designated family reporter who can write these things down so
that they can be asked about in the future. Where it is appropriate these things ought
to be prayed for.
This is also a time for reporting what is going on in our lives and what God is doing
in our midst Regularly you can ask this kind of questions: “What is something
interesting or significant that you did or took place in your life this past week?
Maybe it was something that made you sad or happy. Maybe you helped someone
who was in need, or were kind to someone, or had a fight with someone, or made up
with someone. Maybe you had the chance to share the gospel with someone. Maybe

3.5
God taught you something important from the Scriptures or from your life this week.
Or maybe there is something coming up in your life that you are concerned about.
We would like to hear from one another about these things and rejoice with one
another and pray for one another where appropriate.” Having said this, then try to
draw the group out- both adults and children.
5. Prayer. Pray for the items which have been brought up. Encourage the children
who can to pray. Perhaps you can assign them specific things for which to pray.
6. Closing Song. Before the adults and children break into separate groups, sing one
final song.
Separate Adult and Adult Segment. This is a time for Bible study, discussion, sharing and prayer that
Children’s could not take place in as rich and deep a manner if children were present.
Segments(40-45
minutes) Children’s Segment. This will involve children from ages 3-12. Older children may
either stay with the adults or help with the younger children. Ideally, all adults in the
group will take turns leading this section. One person in the group could serve as the
Children’s Coordinator and will make the schedule for who will be leading the
children’s segment on any given night. The Children’s Coordinator will also help the
person leading the children’s segment to develop the agenda for that evening.
The Children’s Ministry at Four Oaks will be available to provide support for the
Children’s Coordinators and possible suggestions for biblical resources to use.
The children’s segment is not to center on content but on relationships. It is to be an
opportunity for the children to get to know an adult Christian and interact with them.
This way the children get to see many examples of adults who are striving to live a
life which is faithful to God. They experience being valued and cared for by the
adults in the group. In this context, the emphasis is not to be on instruction but on
application of the Christian life.
Lorna Jenkins has suggested the following breakdown for the children’s segment:
1. Rapport. Another short icebreaker game to help the group get settled down. This
can include a personal story.
2. Reading/Review. Read a passage from the Scriptures. Review memory verse
from last week while discussing how the verse might be used in the lives of the
children. Learn a new verse.
3. Relax. The children have some fun activities which support and enliven the
message. This could be drama or games or crafts (best done together rather than
separately) or food or whatever.
4. Report. The leader looks at the children’s segment notebook to find out what was
planned last week and what the group prayed for. Ask the children to report on
what happened. Find out any new prayer requests, write them down, and pray
together. 5. Respond. Plan an action for this week’s lesson and write it down
Announcements, Adults and children can report on what happened in their separate segments. Bring
reporting closing song the group to an end with a prayer or song.
or prayer (5 minutes)
THE UNIQUE GROUP DYNAMICS OF HAVING CHILDREN IN FELLOWSHIP GROUPS
Many of the same group dynamics which are listed in 3.2 are applicable in
intergenerational groups; however, there are some additional things which you must
keep in mind.
1. Remember that the group is for the benefit of both children and adults. Don’t
direct the group just at the children. Aiming too low or “dumbing down” to the
children’s level will ultimately harm the group. Adults will lose interest and the
group will fail to function as a primary community for them. Even children

3.5
would rather have something that goes over their heads than that which is aimed
below them.
2. Enthusiasm. It is important in any group that the leader have a good amount of
enthusiasm when they lead, but it is especially crucial in an intergenerational
group. Without a decent energy level from the leader the attention of the children
will be drawn elsewhere and the group will quickly degenerate into chaos.
3. Keep everyone involved. “The secret of good behavior is involvement.” If
children are kept involved in what is going on they are not nearly as likely to
behave poorly. It is possible to find ways of keeping even the smallest children
involved.
4. Maintain control of the group. Children have an uncanny ability to usurp
leadership and to wrest control from the leader. They often want to be the center
of attention. For the benefit of the whole group, the leader must lovingly prevent
them from doing this. If a child tries to dominate the group by talking too much
or acting up the leader will need to gently address them. Especially when
children are talking we feel reluctant to stop them. We don’t want to hurt their
feelings or offend their parents. But if they start to monopolize the group with
their talking, the leader will need to say, “We really do enjoy when you share
with us and we hope you will continue to do so, but we need to give other people
the chance to share also.”
5. Keep the group moving. The attention span of children (and also some adults!) is
relatively short. Try not to allow any given activity to last for more than 20
minutes. In this way, you will maintain their interest.
6. Have the younger children sit on the floor. Younger children tend to fidget and
climb around when they are sitting on furniture. If they remain on the floor, their
fidgeting will be least disruptive to the group.
7. Have similar expectations for similarly aged children. Our expectations for our
children tend to change depending upon their age. This is perfectly
understandable. What will be helpful for the group is if different parents who
have children of the same age can develop agreed upon expectations for their
children during the time the group is meeting. This will prevent a child from
saying, “Rachel is walking around the room, so why can’t I?” If parents have
agreed upon expectations for 2 year olds, 3 year olds, 4 year olds, etc., then a
parent can say, “Well, that is O.K. for Rachel. She is only 2. But you are a 4 year
old and you are able to behave differently.”
RESOURCES FOR FELLOWSHIP GROUPS
The Four Oaks Children’s Ministry stands ready to provide the following resources
for Fellowship Groups and leaders:
1. A list of recommended babysitters. This list includes all Four Oaks childcare
workers who have been screened and had a background check run on them. If it
is determined by the group that babysitters are needed, it will be the
responsibility of the group to secure and pay such babysitters. Four Oaks, for
liability reasons, can not take responsibility for providing or paying for such care
in homes.
2. Teaching resources. If a group decides that it would like to utilize some sort of
curriculum with its children, the Children’s Ministry staff will be able to
recommend certain resources.
3. Training and Consultation. If the Children’s Coordinator in each group is desirous
of a consultation or training, they can contact the Children’s Ministry for that as
well.

3.6
Worship in Fellowship Groups

Worship is central to our calling as human beings. We were built to delight in God's
beauty and glory and to celebrate his deeds. We are summoned to praise and
magnify God by focusing on his nature and actions. In worship we "ascribe to him
the worth of which he is worthy." Until we are a worshipping people, we are spiritual
paupers. Worship brings joy to God and pleases him. It also brings health to our
souls and substance and weight to our lives.
In worship God gathers his people to himself as the center: 'The LORD Reigns'.
Worship is meeting God at the center so that our lives are centered in God and
not lived eccentrically. We worship so that we live in response to and from this
center, the living God. Failure to worship consigns us to a life of spasms and
jerks, at the mercy of every advertisement, every seduction, every siren. Without
worship we live manipulated and manipulating lives. We move either in
frightened panic or deluded lethargy as we are, in turn, alarmed by spectres
and soothed by placebos. If there is no center, there is no circumference. People
who do not worship are swept into a vast restlessness, epidemic in the world,
with no steady direction and no sustaining purpose. —Eugene Peterson
THE IMPORTANCE OF WORSHIP IN SMALL GROUPS
Worship is often neglected in small groups. People argue that they don't have enough
time in their tight group schedules to fit it in. They are concerned that various styles
of worship would be incompatible. They are concerned that they will not have the
emotional energy that worship requires. They are afraid it will make visitors
uncomfortable or embarrassed. Or perhaps they themselves feel embarrassed or
overly self-conscious. Some, equating worship with singing, refrain because they
can't carry a tune in a bucket. However, none of these are sufficient reasons to
overlook worship
Remember, small groups are above all Christian communities in which God
participates as the primary host. They are places where God is at the center and in
which we deal with him and one another. Worship is, therefore, vitally important.
The presence of worship may mean the difference between a group which is
superficial and insignificant in its effect on people's lives and a group of depth which
makes a real difference to those who attend.
Like other elements of the group meeting, be sure to carefully plan the worship
activities. Unless people have confidence that you know where you are leading them,
they will be anxious and reluctant to enter into worship. Stifling or legislating
spontaneity isn't the idea. You merely want to assist the group by proving helpful
worship formats.
This is an ideal aspect of group life in which to allow other members to help share
the load -assigning differing people the task of leading the group in worship from
week to week. If you do this, you will still want them to tell you what they are
planning to do so as to help them think through the best way to lead the group in
worship and to avoid having them try something that would be met with opposition
by the rest of the group.
WHEN TO WORSHIP IN SMALL GROUPS

Worship performs various functions in the life of the group depending on where it is
placed in the schedule. You can spread worship throughout your schedule at any
given meeting or you can vary the place at which you worship from week to week.
1. When placed at the beginning of the group it helps set the tone for the meeting
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3.6
and enables group members to clear their minds of the daily grind and to focus
on God, who gives meaning to the daily grind.
2. Placed after the bible study itself, it affords an opportunity to celebrate what God
has revealed about himself in the passage at hand and enables us to work those
truths into our heads and our hearts so that they have a chance to be expressed in
our lives.
3. When worship is scheduled after a time of sharing what God is doing in our lives
and the things for which we are thankful, we copy the activity of much of the
worship in Scripture in which God is praised for his acts on behalf of his people.
We remind ourselves that he is an immediate presence in our lives and that he is
still at work in our activities and in our world.
4. When worship is placed at the end of the schedule, we are able to celebrate all of
things we have learned of God's character and ways throughout the evening. We
are given confidence that we can rely on God as we prepare to go in the world to
serve him.
METHODS OF WORSHIP IN SMALL GROUPS

Singing While singing is not the only way to worship God, it is an excellent way of doing so.
Well-known hymns can often be sung a cappella by groups. If you provide sheet
music, you will find that many people can often sing harmony. Scripture songs can
also be sung. They tend to work best with guitar accompaniment, but can be sung
without it. Resources can be found in local Christian bookstores and on-line
(www.igracemusic.com)
Psalms Groups which are less inclined towards singing may find that praying through a
Psalm works well for them. If you print out the psalm or all have the same
translation of the bible you can read it responsively. Another method for using
psalms in worship is to have the leader read 4 or 5 verses out loud and then allow a
time for the rest of the group to respond vocally or in silent worship to what has been
read. Continue to make your way through the psalm in this fashion until you reach
the end.
You might teach people to do this in the following way:
"The psalms have always served as the prayer book of the church. They equip
us with the language which we need to mature in the skill of prayer. One area of
prayer which they are especially helpful in instructing us in is adoration and
worship. This evening we are going to use Psalm 147 as a tool for helping us to
worship God. Essentially what I will do is read a section of the psalm.. Anyone
else can then respond by using a phrase from the section read as a springboard
to offer further praise to God, or you may just repeat one or two of the lines
verbatim. After a number of people have responded I will read another section
of the psalm and we will repeat the process of allowing people to respond with
further expressions of worship which flow from the content of the psalm. This
particular psalm divides into three sections (1-6, 7-11, 12-20) so we will repeat
the process a total of three times.
One of the reasons this method for worship is helpful is due to the fact that we often
feel at a loss for words when seeking to adore God— in this case the psalmist
provided them for us. Regardless of whether you choose to participate vocally, let's
make sure that all of us seek to engage our hearts in worship— for God is worthy of
our praise. As the psalmist says, 'How good it is to sing praises to our God, how
pleasant and fitting to praise him!' If you want, feel free to turn in your Bibles and
read along silently with me as I read each section."

3.6
Historical Prayers of Besides David, there are several prayers at our disposal written by past “greats” of
Praise the Christian faith. The Puritans, especially, were wonderful at profound prayer.
Read some of these aloud and allow the group to worship “in agreement” with the
prayer. Pausing after sections of the prayer for personal meditation, either silent or
aloud, is also effective.
Giving ourselves a different vocabulary of can shake seasoned pray-ers out of their
ruts and teach those in the group that are new to prayer. Look at the writings of
George Whitfield, Jonathan Edwards, Dr. Martin Lloyd-Jones, Catherine Marshall,
John Bunyon, Henry Nouwen, Thomas Merton, Arthur Bennett’s Puritan collection
etc. Also see section2.9 for additional resources.
Books Read short excerpts from books which will direct your thoughts to God and give
time for the group to respond in worship. J.I. Packer's Knowing God, A.W. Tozer's
The Knowledge of the Holy, and J.B. Phillip's Your God is Too Small all provide
excellent material for this activity.
Written Meditations Group Members might want to share written meditations with the group which can
then be responded to by the rest of the group in prayers of worship. Perhaps you can
take some time for group members to write down things for which they are thankful
or to write letters of gratitude to God. They can then share parts of them with the
group or pray them conversationally to God.
Silence Give people five or ten minutes of silence in which to worship God. While some
people might want instrumental music on in the background when they do this, make
sure that it is not inhibiting someone from worshipping.
Posture You may find that you want to vary the posture the group uses when you worship.
Perhaps you will want to stand, kneel, or lift your hands. While encouraging
different forms of worship, do not force people to participate in forms with which
they are not comfortable.
Whatever method you use, don't forget that the leader sets the tone for worship. Your
genuine worshipful attitude and practices must be contagious.

3.7
Reading and Interpreting the Bible

THE FOUNDATIONS OF BIBLICAL INTERPRETATION
(Use The “What It Means To Me” Appendix In The Why Small Groups Book As The Backdrop To This
Section)
Two Presuppositions: 1. The Bible as a whole, and in all of its parts, is the very Word of God written. It is
therefore completely trustworthy, fully reliable and without error.
2. The Bible principally teaches two things: what man is to believe concerning God
(his character, ways, and purposes) and what duty God requires of man (its
instruction is for our practice).
Implications 1. Study the Scriptures prayerfully, with an eye toward changing your life (2Tim
3:1617). Seek not to master but to be mastered.
2. Since Scripture is revelation about God and since Jesus Christ is the supreme
revelation, then fundamentally all Scripture (both OT and NT) is about Him– his
life, death and resurrection (Luke 24:27,45-47).
3. The fullest understanding and therefore the richest understanding of Scripture
can only happen in community. We need expert help sometimes. We need our
cultural and personal distortions removed by others. Read books, talk, experience
Scripture.
4. Never set one passage against another so that they contradict. Interpret the
obscure in light of the clear and plain.
The Basic Principle of Seek the plain, natural, intended meaning of the text. What did the original author
Biblical Interpretation (in this case God through the human author) intend for his original audience to
understand, and therefore what is implied for Christians today.
Interpret the Scriptures literally and grammatically, based on whatever form it’s in
(history, discourse, parable, poetry, prophecy, etc.). Recognize that interpreting the
Scriptures is like a science; you are looking for objective truth by following rules.
Therefore, don't fall into the trap of coming up with two interpretations and saying
"both of them are right," even when they are opposed to one another. Second, don't
seek to find a “hidden spiritual meaning” that is unwarranted and would be apparent
to no one.
BASIC STEPS TO INTERPRETATION
1. Read the passage A. Read the passage several times so that you can get a general idea of what the
passage is about. Summarize the meaning in one sentence.
B. Determine what type of literature it is (poetry, prophecy, historical, didactic
prose). This informs some of the different “rules” of interpretations. Proverbs are
read differently than Psalms, for example.
C. Be aware of the context. Read the entire book from which the passage comes.
Know what comes before and after the particular passage and how it fits
together. Why does the writer say it here? How does the passage fit into the
context of the book as a whole? What has the writer communicated previously
and what does he write afterwards?
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3.7
2. Observe (What does Answer questions of who, what, where, when, and how. What does the passage say?
the passage say?) What are the main points the text is making? Do you understand the technical words
in the passage? What historical/cultural situations impact the meaning? Do you need
to look something up in a reference? Can you summarize the passage into a sentence
or two? Start by working out what you think the main sections and main points are,
and then keep revising your ideas as you study the detail.
3. Interpret (What does Bombard the passage with questions seeking to determine what the writer was trying
the passage mean?) to get across.
A. Why does the writer say it?
Why has the person written this? What concerns or problems is the writer
addressing? What would we miss if it were not included? How does this passage
connect with overall themes of Scripture? How is the gospel displayed in this
passage?
B. Why does the writer say it in this way?
Look at the details of each verse. Why are they included? Would it make any
difference if they were omitted? What surprises are there in the passage? Why
are they there?
4. Apply (What does How does the passage apply? Application falls into two types. First, ask whether
the passage mean to there are any direct applications in the text itself? Are they for the first hearers only,
us? to me?) or for all time? Second, ask whether there are any principles you learn from the main
points. How do they apply specifically and concretely to you?
What does it show us to praise God for?
What does it show us to confess? (look for behavioral sins, heart idols, inordinate
desires)
What does it show us to aspire to or to ask for?
Is there an example for us to follow?
Is there a command for us to obey?
Is there an error for us to avoid?
Is there any sin for us to forsake?
Is there any promise for us to claim?
Is there any new thought about God himself?
AN IMPORTANT NOTE REGARDING APPLICATION
Unapplied statements of biblical truth are unlikely to do much good, other than puff
one up and lead to greater judgment. Can we truly say that we know Scripture if it
hasn’t changed us? Yet application of the Scriptures must go beyond mere
exhortation if it is to make substantial impact. It must rip up our conscience so that
we see ourselves as God sees us, and then apply the gospel to the revealed wounds.
How, for example, can you get from a story in I Samuel about King David to your
life today? We cannot look at the Scripture as a mere book of morals or a fable. True
heart transformation will never occur that way. The key is to read the situation in
Scripture in light of the Cross, to then see how the gospel, which is behind all of
Scriptures, transforms us and makes us more like Christ.
It’s too shallow to say: “King David trusted God so I need to trust God.” Why?
Because the Bible’s not about David, it’s about Christ. Instead, we need to say:
“King David trusted God because Christ died for David. As David recognized the
gospel, he was able to apply that confidence, that knowledge that he was accepted
and loved by God, because of His mercy and not David’s merit. Then, and only then,
could he gaze on his loving Lord in hope and trust. If we are to trust God, we have to
first recover our wonder in our gospel acceptance. When we remember how much

3.7
God cares for us, enough to send us his Son to die for us, then we can be full of hope
and confidence. Our hope comes from the Lord, not our heart.”
When we come to particular principles in Scripture, we have to continually look past
surface actions to underlying hearts issues. We don’t obey God because we have
other non-negotiables in our lives, other things that are more important to us than
pleasing Him.
In biblical terms, those are “idols”, false gods. When we read a passage, we need to
ask what underlying heart issues (idols) are exposed. Armed with that, we can look
to our own heart idols and expose them with the truth. We then can replace our
desire to serve that idol (“I must have it to be happy”) with the Gospel (“Christ has
me, that’s the only way to be happy”). When our desires have been replaced by
Christ, we then ask “how can I serve the one I love? What can I do to express my
love?” The duty of the law in Christ becomes a joy.
Path of Applying Biblical Principles to Modern Situations
1. Ancient Biblical Principles follow a path:

Specific applications in past situations lead to 
General Commands which lead to 
Underlying Principles of the Gospel pointing toward Christ which lead to 
Idols exposed by the truth
2. Uncovering your idols. In order to uncover heart idols ask the following
questions:
Why don't I obey this command?
What are the obstacles or things which get in the way?
What biblical truths correct my distorted thinking?
Why should I obey this command?
3. Modern Applications reverse the path:

Your Idols exposed by
Underlying Principles of the Gospel pointing from Christ which lead to 
General Commands which point toward 
Specific applications in present situations.

3.8
Study: Using Curriculum and Asking Good Questions

USING BIBLE STUDY CURRICULUM
In many churches, small groups are given great latitude to choose their own
curriculum and study resources to utilize in their groups. While this gives group
leaders the ability to adapt curriculum to the needs of their groups, it results in small
groups becoming topical in nature and oriented either around felt needs or the
interests of the group at a particular point in time. Our desire for our Fellowship
Groups, though, is that they not be organized around a topic but rather a purpose.
One of the ways to help insure that this happens is for the primary resources groups
choose be oriented around the bible.
Four Oaks provides the primary resources for Fellowship Group curriculum. This
Fellowship Group study curriculum, which draws from various sources, consists of
both Bible Study questions and a corresponding leader's study guide. The questions
and the study guides are designed to assist you in enabling your group to work
through the passage so that it is understood. The study guides also attempt to be
pastoral in nature, so that you can help people apply the material to their own lives
with some depth.
For the Fall of 2008, all of our fellowship groups will be going through Randy
Alcorn’s book, “The Treasure Principle.” In anticipation of The Impossible Tour
capital campaign, where we will call the church to give sacrificially to the renovation
of the Shannon Lakes Plaza, our new church home, this study will be used by God to
prepare our hearts and minds for the season ahead. Books and leader guides will be
provided for each group. We will ask for donations of $5 per book from fellowship
group participants.
Using the Curriculum 1. Prepare. It is very important to stress that this material must be made your own
through your preparation. The study guide is not meant to be read to the group.
Instead, it ought to be assimilated into your own preparation so that when you are
guiding people through the passage, you can communicate the basic thrust of it.
2. Explore. The study guide also is not exhaustive. You and the rest of your group
will come up with insights that are not contained within it. Feel free to follow
these insights whenever they are appropriate, biblical, helpful to the group, and
generally important. Learn to avoid both over-controlling the group with the
study and chasing esoteric theological rabbit-trails. Both problems will cause
your group to stagnate.
3. Customize. Even the questions will need to be made your own. You should
understand them well enough so that you can rephrase them in your own words.
(If you don't know what you are asking, neither will anyone else in the group!)
Some of you may want to delete certain questions that the study suggests you
ask. Or you may want to add your own questions which you think will help mine
the text. You know best where your group is at spiritually; adapt the questions to
keep them helpful. New group leaders, however, are encouraged to stick as close
to the prepared materials as possible until you feel comfortable leading a group.
4. Adapt. Finally, you will need to have enough of a grasp on the material that you
can determine which questions not to ask if time constraints arise. Take note of
Part 3: Fellowship Group Dynamics Study: Using Curriculum and Asking Good Questions, 1
3.8
these questions before-hand. If you don't have this kind of grasp on the material,
it will affect the atmosphere of your group. There will be less warmth,
enthusiasm, and engaging interaction in your discussions.
5. Cluster. There is one other important thing to understand about the Bible study
questions. You will notice that usually there is more than one question by each
number. Questions are grouped together so that as you successively work
through them you get greater insight into the passage. You need to be familiar
enough with the questions so that you understand how they flow together. You
will then be able to discern which questions should be asked together and which
questions should be asked only after you have dealt with the previous issue.
6. Relax. By the way, don't get too daunted by all these instructions. Leading a
Bible study is equal parts art and science. Because it is an art, each person will
lead their group through the passage in a unique way. Don't get bogged down by
feeling there is only one way to lead people through the passage. Don't
overwhelm yourself by thinking, "If I don't do this the right way, it will be
impossible to accomplish the purpose of understanding and applying the main
points of the passage." Because leading a Bible study is partially a science, you
should also be encouraged by the fact that your skills will certainly continue to
grow and develop.
ADAPTING AND ASKING GOOD QUESTIONS

Stimulating and relevant discussion come from your own searching personal bible
study in preparation for the meeting. Good discussion is also dependent upon having
a specific aim in your study. It is better to be limited, going past superficial analysis
of the meaning and application of the text, than to be broad and shallow. If you
decide to adapt some of the questions in the curriculum, be aware of the following
issues.
Two Paths Questions Good questions never stand alone, but are clustered together to guide the group
Can Take toward the goal of grasping the central meaning of a scripture passage and applying
it to their own lives. Use both "pathways" to keep discussion lively and interesting.
1. Questions lead to deeper meaning (bombarding). A series of questions about a
particular text drive the group toward the central meaning. This kind of pathway
is better at digging into the text, uncovering meaning that may not appear on the
surface. ("What is happening here? Why? What could he mean by that? What
does this say about God's mercy toward us? What about his Lordship? How does
Christ fulfill this promise?").
2. Meaning leads to more questions (commentaries). Once the meaning is arrived
at, a whole new set of questions appear. These kind of questions are better for
application, taking the truth of scripture and examining a variety of situations in
people's lives that are affected by this truth. It is also good for connecting a
particular passage with other passages, either in the same book or related themes
elsewhere in scripture. ("How should we live in light of this? How would it affect
your prayer life? Your career? Your attitude toward those who suffer? What can
you do next week to drive this truth home").
3.8
Kinds Of Questions Questions fall into five categories. Typically, you will ask them in the following
order of depth; although, except for approach and summary questions, they do not
have to follow a particular order. A good, meaty, bible study focuses on
interpretation and application questions.
1. Approach/Launching (Initiating Discussion). Before your group digs into the
meat of the study, it is usually helpful to ask one or two brief launching
questions. These should center around the main theme of the study and seek to
warm up the group. If appropriate, you may also ask a question relating to the
previous week's application.
2. Observation (What does it say?). Most of the time, answers are obvious and
therefore these questions stifle discussion (see below under Silence...). Try to
skip these questions whenever possible. Occasionally they are critical to
understanding, for example in parables or in references to other passages. Try to
creatively ask observation questions that do not require one-word or yes/no
answers.
3. Interpretation (What does it mean?). Focus on the main thrust of the passage and
key words or phrases that may not be clearly understood. Keep interpretation
limited to scriptural truths. Avoid merely theoretical or subjective interpretations.
(See the chapter on Reading and Interpreting the Bible).
4. Application (What does it mean to us?). This is the crucial step between biblical
truth and biblical living. The goal of studying scripture is to teach us about our
relationship with God and how we are to live in accordance with his will.
Questions may deal with specific exhortation regarding outward behavior, but
they should also judge the inward thoughts and intents of the heart and call
people to apply the gospel to themselves.
5. Overview and Summary (Review what the group learned). At the close, make
sure that the group is on board with the main thrust. Differences in application,
minor interpretational differences, are to be expected. But, the group as a whole
should be able to restate your goal for the night in their own words. This is not a
"quiz" for them, but rather feedback on how well you led the group.
Evaluating Your Ask yourself the questions before you ask others. Imagine what people might
Questions answer. If you can't come up with any answers reconsider whether you ought to use
that question. If your answers lead to further questions, consider asking those
questions also. Good questions always fit the following criteria (from How to Lead
Small Group Bible Studies, NavPress):
1. Is it clear? (Is the question easy to understand and remember? Does it address
one topic? Does it avoid unnecessary problems?)
2. Is it relevant? (What is the point of asking the question? What answer do your
expect? Does it relate to truth the group already knows? Can the group answer it?
Does it focus on the meaning of text and flow of the study? Is the response
practical? Does it clarify the understanding of the text?)
3. Does it stimulate good discussion? (Does it grab attention? lead to personal
involvement? leave some room for a creative response? give everyone an
opportunity to respond? avoid embarrassing group members?)
Silence in Response To A few seconds of silence is expected. However, sometimes you will ask a question
a Question and (to your dismay) no one will answer. Why? Silence in response to a question
usually indicates one of the following problems:
1. Too Deep. It's a good question and people just need more time to think. Rephrase
3.8
the question, which gives people more time to think without the embarrassment
of silence: ("In other words, what are the deep issues of our heart that this
passage confronts us with. What are you convicted about?").
2. Too Easy. It's so obvious, people are afraid to respond. They might even think
that it must be a trick question. Perhaps you could just answer it yourself: ("Well,
of course the blind man wanted his sight restored. Let's move on..."). Note this
for your preparation and avoid overly simple questions next time
3. Too Vague. No one understands what you are asking. Rephrase with greater
clarity. Sometimes, you will need to guide people in the direction that you want
their response: ("When I mean 'apply this to your life', I'm looking for things that
deal with your relationships with others in the church body. How does this show
us ways to care for one another?").
4. Too Personal. Ask the question in third person or break the group into smaller
groups of twos or threes: ("Break into groups of twos and pray about ways that
you ignore Christ's desire for intimacy with you. Pray for means to overcome
your cold-heartedness. We'll regroup in five minutes.").
5. Too Hopeless. It may just be a bad question. Either make it into a good one or
ditch it and get on to the next question.
3.8
Fellowship Group Curriculum and Resources

BIBLE STUDIES
Redeemer Presbyterian Curriculum
Evangelism: Studies in the Book of Acts
First John: Christian Holiness and Love
Galatians: Living in line with the truth of the gospel
Gospel Christianity I: Gospel & the Heart
Gospel Christianity II: Gospel & the World
Gospel Christianity IIl: Gospel & Community
James: The Gospel in Action
Living in a Pluralistic Society: Judges, Daniel & Joseph
Mark: Doctrine of Christ and Basic Spiritual Disciplines
Romans: A Study Course in the Gospel
Genesis: What Were We Put in the World to Do?
Studies in Prayer: Developing a Strong Prayer Life
Renewed Church for a Renewed City
Sovereign Grace Curriculum
Why Small
How Can I
Groups?
Change?
Topic:
Topic:
Purpose and
Growing in
practice of
godliness
small groups
This Great Disciplines for

Salvation Life
Topic: God's Topic: The
amazing spiritual
grace disciplines
3.9
Fellowship
"They devoted themselves to fellowship" Acts 2:42
"I long to see you that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to make you strong -
that is, that you and I may be mutually encouraged by each other's faith." Romans
1:11
"We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel
of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us...For you know
that we dealt with you as a father deals with his own children, encouraging,
comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God who calls you into his
kingdom and glory." 1 Thessalonians 2:8,11
"And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.
Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let
encourage one another - and all the more as you see the day approaching." Hebrews
10:24,25
FELLOWSHIP AND GENUINE SHARING
J. I. Packer writes: “’Fellowship’ is one of the great words of the New Testament. It denotes something
that is vital for our spiritual health and central to the church's true life. It is two-
dimensional, and it is first vertical before it can be horizontal. That is, we must know
the reality of fellowship with the Father and with his Son Jesus Christ before we can
know the reality of fellowship with each other in our common relationship to God. In
the horizontal dimension of fellowship, sharing with our brother and sister
Christians, we give as God has given to us, and we receive.
“So Christian fellowship is seeking to share with others what God has made known
to you, while letting them share with you what they know of him as a means of
finding strength, refreshment and instruction for one's own soul. Gratefully one
receives what others share. Equally, one labors to give. And in the giving, no less
than in the taking, one finds renewal and strength.
“Fellowship is an expression of both love and humility. It springs from a desire to
bring benefit to others coupled with a sense of personal weakness and need. It has a
double motive: the wish to help and the wish to be helped, the wish to edify and the
wish to be edified. It is thus a corporate seeking by Christian people to know God
better through sharing with each other what individually they have learned already.
We seek to do others good, and we seek that others will do us good."
The Threat of Genuine The reason that this is difficult to pull off is that genuine sharing is threatening. In it,
Sharing we are held accountable for genuine spiritual life and experiential religion. If our
experience of God and his work in our life is lacking or non-existent, then this fact is
exposed. Possible dead orthodoxy is revealed. Because of this threat, there is among
some a distaste for this kind of activity. Superficial sharing is easy, genuine sharing
must be cultivated.
The Need for Trust Sharing honestly and vulnerably is carried out best in a climate of trust. As a group
gets to know one another better and trust builds, the level of sharing usually grows.
However, as important and helpful as trust in one another is, groups must be careful
not to make an idol of it. When a group is closed to new people coming for fear of
losing the climate of trust or when group members cease to be honest when
newcomers show up, it is a sign that they have fallen into this idolatry.
The group must be reminded of two truths to break out of this.
1. God is our ultimate object of trust. Others can let us down. God never will. We
Part 3: Fellowship Group Dynamics Fellowship: Genuine Sharing, 1

3.9
can trust him to work out all things for our good, even the betrayal of others.
We are exhorted not to put our trust in humans.
2. Our primary reason for gathering is to allow God to work through us so that we
are built up and our lives are changed. We ought to vulnerably share not as an
end in itself, but as a means to benefiting others. We are not to be concerned
with protecting ourselves (a self-centered goal), but with the growth of others
and the community.
When we come to the group asking “What can I give to this?” rather than “What am
I getting out of this?”, our cravings for self-protection are squelched and we are
liberated to speak openly that Christ might minister through us. The ability to trust
others might still be desired, but it is not demanded.
FELLOWSHIP AND RELATIONSHIPS
The "one another" passages in the New Testament follow a pattern of deepening
relationships. Only as Christians become more intimately involved in the lives of
people within that community can these commands be fulfilled.
1. Knowing. Accept one another (Rom. 15:7).
2. Serving. Bear one another's burdens (Gal. 6:2). Teach the Bible to one another
(Col. 3:16). Submit to one another (Eph. 5:21).
3. Encouraging. Honor one another (Rom. 12:10). Build one another up (IThess.
5:11). Encourage one another (IThess 5:11).
4. Sharpening. Confess your sins to one another (James 5:16). Exhort one another
(Heb. 3:13). Confront one another (Rom. 15:14).
5. Reconciling (continuous). Live in harmony with one another (Rom. 12:16).
Bearing with one another (Eph. 4:2).
6. Worshipping (continuous). Pray for one another (James 5:16). Sing to one
another (Eph. 5:19).
SHARING AND ACCOUNTABILITY QUESTIONS

The following sources are valuable aids as your group gets to know one another and
delves deeper to challenge and support each other.
Using the Initial A set of questions which have traditionally been used when groups are getting
"Quaker Questions" started are known as the Quaker Questions:
1. Where were you living at age 7, and how many brothers and sisters were in your
household?
2. What were the winters like?
3. What was the center of warmth in your life when you were 7 years old? (This
can be a person, a place in the house, or a time of the year - like Christmas.)
4. When did God become more than just a name to you?
Once a group is up and going you can continue to make up questions a long these
lines or get them from other sources. Two such source books are: The Book of
Questions by Gregory Stock, Workman Publishing, 1987, and 201 Great Questions
by Jerry Jones, NavPress, 1988.
Sample Sharing Before your group has deepened its level of comfort enough to share very personal
Questions for Group questions, you will need to get past the introductory stage (see the chapter on
Bonding Understanding Group Dynamics). Use questions that are personal, but less
threatening to "bridge" the trust level into the deeper questions listed above.
Examples:
A. Questions Dealing with the Past:
1. Tell about the neatest birthday present you ever received.

3.9
2. Share one of the happiest days of your life.

3. What is the best advice you ever received?
4. What can you identify as a "turning point" in your life?
5. Share a time when your feelings were hurt.
6. Share a time when you believe you were led by God.
B. Questions Dealing with the Present:

1. How do you tune into God?
2. How would you describe yourself to someone who doesn't know you?
3. Describe a typical day (or Tuesday, or Saturday, or Friday evening).
4. If you had to move and could only take three things with you, what would you
take?
5. Give three words that describe how you feel right now.
6. What social problems are you particularly concerned about?
C. Questions Dealing with the Future:

1. Describe your ideal house and how you would furnish it.
2. What would you do if someone willed you a million dollars?
3. What is something you think God wants you to do?
4. What spiritual goals are you reaching for? Why?
5. If you could do anything you want this time of year, what would it be?
6. What epitaph do you want on your tombstone?
Questions to Rekindle Another set of questions which may prove helpful in getting the group to warm up
Warmth when you sit down for your meeting each week are the following:
1. What was an important event in your life this past week? Take one minute to
full us in on the details.
2. What is one of the better things that happened to you this week?
3. What was a significant thing which happened to you this past week?
4. Who has had the greatest influence on you life since we gathered last?
The good thing about these questions is that you can ask any one of them week in
and week out and the answers will be always changing. You will probably want to
break the rut from time to time and use and ice-breaker with a bit more creativity.
However, these questions help to bring out what is going on in people's lives and can
be relied upon time and time again.
Going Deeper With During your Fellowship Group, don't be afraid to get personal. When discussion
Personal Implication seems too general, vague or abstract, a "personal implication question" helps keep
Questions the conversation more direct and specific. Press the issues home to people's hearts in
a loving, but direct manner. For example:
1. How would what you are talking about affect you personally?
2. Have you ever struggled with this issue personally?
3. We are often abstract when discussing Scripture; how does this affect you
daily?
4. How has God been working in your life lately?
5. Are there things you have been convicted about? How did the conviction come
about? What steps are you taking to deal with those things?
6. What have you heard in the sermons recently that have been particularly
convicting or comforting?
7. What areas of obedience have you been working on?
8. Where have you recently experienced God's kindness and love in your life?
John Wesley - Classes Wesley's "Classes" were for Christian and non-Christian men and women. They met
and Bands in groups of twelve once per week. During meetings, members reported on spiritual

3.9
progress, needs and problems. Others would offer advice, encouragement and prayer.
"Bands" were more intense spiritual training for Christians. They were smaller in
size (5¬10) and were divided by age, sex and marital status. They routinely covered
the following accountability questions:
1. What sins have you committed since the last meeting?
2. What temptations did you face but did not give into?
3. How were you delivered from those temptations?
4. Where else did God give you help or victory to live as a Christian?
5. What have you thought or done which you were unsure as to whether it was
sinful or not, or where have you been unclear as to God's will?
George Whitefield - Whitefield's "Societies" were small groups of Christians who met for accountability
Societies in spiritual experience. Questions included:
1. Are you sure you are a Christian? Are you sure God's Spirit lives inside you? Is
the Spirit shedding abroad God's love in your heart? How clear is his witness?
Are you enjoying it? Why or why not?
2. What scriptures is God using in your life?
3. In what ways is God helping you overcome sinful habits? In what ways are you
becoming more aware of your sins and faults? How are you increasing in your
understanding of them?
4. In what ways are you growing in love towards other people?
5. Which fruit of the Spirit are you growing in most and which are you most
lacking?
6. Are there certain promises and assurances in the Bible which are particular
precious to you right now?
7. Are you becoming aware of certain situation which are dangerous to you and
create temptations?
8. Can you recognize the first motions of sin in the heart: pride, lust, carelessness,
bitterness, envy, self-indulgence?
Jack Miller's Jack Miller created a list of questions that are penetrating. You may want to use
Questions these questions, along with any above, in your own personal devotions or self-
examination.
1. Is God working in your life?
2. Have you been repenting for sins lately?
3. Are you building your life on Christ's free justification or are you insecure and
guilt-ridden?
4. Have you done anything simply because you love Jesus?
5. Have you stopped doing anything simply because you love Jesus?
6. Do you see the fruit of the Spirit growing?
7. Do you think God is happy with your missionary zeal?
8. Do you see yourself as growing spiritually?

3.10
Prayer in the Group

PREPARING THE FELLOWSHIP GROUP FOR PRAYER
There are a number of approaches to group prayer which work well and which you
choose depends on with which you feel most comfortable. Remind people often that
God really does hear and respond to the prayers of his people. This is true no matter
which approach you take to group prayer.
Therefore, prior to prayer read a passage such as 2 Corinthians 1:10-11: "He has
delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our
hope that he will continue to deliver us, as you help us by your prayers. Then many
will give thanks on our behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the
prayers of many." Having read the verse, encourage them by saying something like
this: "God calls us to trust that he hears and answers us - to believe that our prayers
make a difference. It is given to us, through prayer, to play a role in delivering one
another out of our troubles and to deliver our world out of trouble. Let's then take
this responsibility seriously."
THE GLORY OF GOD AT THE CENTER OF YOUR PRAYER

Too often, we pray merely for circumstances in our lives: difficulties, health,
relatives, work situations, psychological adjustment, immediate burdens, and so on.
There is nothing wrong with that, except when it pushes aside prayer that’s God-
centered and ignores the critical level of where change occurs.
God’s Glory In any of the methods listed below, you want to avoid prayer which is completely
self-focused. Often larger issues which are closely related to the interests of the
Kingdom ofGod are ignored. One way to counter this is to have the glory of God at
the center ofpersonal requests– asking that through the answer to these requests
people might seethe power, love and beauty of God and so bow before him.
Changes of the Heart Transforming our lives is from the inside out. Following the wise advice of David
Powlison, we need to pray for change at the level where change occurs. Therefore,
when seeking prayer for change, focus on real heart issues. Instead of saying just:
“pray for my sickness so it’ll get better,” say something like: “my current sickness is
really drawing out my bitterness, my tendency toward self-pity and discouragement.
I’ve also been complaining a lot lately and wounding those around me. Could you
pray that God would use this experience to mold my character, to make me more like
him, so that others can see what a great God we follow?”
Leading in Prayer as As a leader, if you begin to pray with a kingdom-centered focus and with a heart-
Leaders change focus, then your group will begin to change the way it prays. As you model
effective and courageous prayer, the prayer lives of those around you will be
enriched. For new Christians, this is a great opportunity to learn a lifetime of prayer.
TWO METHODS FOR GROUP PRAYER
The first decision you have to make regarding method is whether to pray as a large
group or in smaller groups of 3 to 5. Feel free to ask the group for their preference in
this decision.
Part 3: Fellowship Group Dynamics Prayer in Fellowship Groups, 1

3.10
1. Break Into Smaller If you break up in smaller groups, you may want to divide by male and female as
Groups well. Advantages to smaller groups: each person can talk more, share more honestly,
and pray more fully. Plus, breaking into smaller groups prevents the prayer time
from going on for an oppressively long time. Disadvantage: everyone in the group is
not in touch with what is going on in the lives of all the group members. One way to
partially overcome that disadvantage is to ask if anyone has something which they
would like the whole group to be praying for?
When you send people into the smaller groups, give them clear directions about what
they are to do. For example: "When you go into your groups pray along these two
lines: Each person first ought to share one area of application from the Bible Study
which God spoke to you about and ask people to pray for you in that area. Second,
ask for prayer in any other area of your life where you have needs." You might add,
"Make sure you don't spend all your time talking and have very little prayer itself."
Depending on the group's preference, you may keep these smaller groups the same
from week to week, change them regularly or change them periodically.
2. Remain in the Advantages to larger groups: Creates a greater sense of community and
Larger Group connectedness between the members. Disadvantages: Sharing, as well as the prayer
itself, can go on for an oppressively long time. Clock-watchers and folks with short
attention spans (which is just about all of us) may find this so distressing that not
only will they be unable to enter into the prayer but may not return to the group, or at
the very least dread the prayer time. None of these consequences are desirable. In
addition to this problem, the sharing may not be as vulnerable and honest; people
may feel that have been given too short of an amount of time to share or pray.
However, if the person guiding the prayer time is aware of these dangers and how to
avoid them, praying as whole group can be a very good experience.
If you choose to go this route, you will probably need to say something to this effect:
"We are going to spend some time praying for one another's needs. Just a few
words before we share our requests with one another. To prevent the sharing
from going on too long so that little time is left for prayer, please try to be as
succinct as possible. This allows each person who has requests to have the
opportunity to mention them. There is no reason why after praying we can't
individually ask each other more about the things shared or even pray more for
each other. However, by keeping our requests short we make sure that everyone
can benefit from the time and make sure that we actually get down to the work
of praying. This is not to discourage anyone from sharing. It is merely a way of
being considerate. Does anyone have something they would like pray for?"
That introduction will be enough for most people. However, invariably there are
some people who go on much longer than they need to. In those cases you will
probably need to break in on them. After they have gotten the basic gist of their
request across wait for them to take a breath and then say "Thanks for the request
Jim. Does anyone else have something for which they would like prayer?" Generally
the person will not be offended at all and the rest of the group will be relieved as
well.
As a general rule, once a person has shared their prayer request you should probably
solicit the next request by saying something to the effect of, "Thanks. What else? Is
there something else we can be taking to God?" This keeps the sharing time flowing
and lets people know what is expected of them.
Part 3: Fellowship Group Dynamics Prayer in Fellowship Groups, 2

3.10
VARIOUS APPROACHES IN LARGE GROUP PRAYER

In general, it is too time consuming to have people share both areas of application
from the Bible study and areas of personal need. Therefore, just after the Bible Study
is over, have a short season of corporate prayer without any sharing; thank God for
what he has taught you and ask him to change you in accordance with the truths
which were learned. After that, then use one of the following approaches to large
group prayer.
1. Random Sharing of This gives people who want to share and/or pray the opportunity to do so. It also
Requests and Praying gives those who do not desire to share or pray the freedom to decline. The negative
is that certain group members may dominate week after week. Try to keep requests
balanced.
2. Sharing and Praying Tell the people in the group that they are going to share requests as you go around
in a Circle the room and that the person on their right ought to be prepared to pray for them. If
you go this route, you ought to tell people that they are free to decline if they would
like.
3. Using Liturgical By using a form, someone leads and the rest join in on that topic in informal prayer.
Forms
Father, we pray for Your holy, catholic church, That we may all be one. [pause]
Grant that every member of the church may truly and humbly serve you. That
your name may be glorified by all people. [pause]
We pray for all pastors and missionaries. That they may be faithful ministers of
your word and sacraments. [pause]
We pray for all who are without Christ and without hope in the world. That by
your sovereign mercy, they might seek you and find you. [pause]
We pray for all govern and hold authority in the nations of the world. That there
may be justice and peace on the earth. [pause]
Give us grace to do your will in all that we undertake. That our works might
find favor in your sight. [pause]
Have compassion on those who suffer from any grief, trouble, or sickness. That
they may be delivered from their distress. [pause]
We pray for our own needs and those of others. [pause]
(Look in The Book of Common Prayer for additional forms.)
4. Using Historical We can greatly enrich our prayer lives by looking at the prayers of Christians in
Prayers earlier times. The Puritans and others have left a great legacy of prayer that gives us
a richer language of prayer from which we can draw. We can learn much by seeing
what concerns were important to others and how God’s people have praised him
throughout the ages. Again, this is most effective when it’s used only occasionally,
allowing your group to develop its own life of prayer. Some good resources include:
The Valley of Vision, Puritan prayers collected by Arthur Bennett (Banner of Truth),
A Diary of Private Prayer by Bailey (Colliers) and A Call to Prayer collected by
Caryl Micklem (Eerdmans).
5. Shared Prayer Essentially, you are cutting out the time of sharing previous to the actual praying.
Have people share their request as they briefly pray. So Jane begins by praying,
"Father, I pray for Greg whom I have shared the gospel with at work, that you might
draw him to yourself." Then after the first person has prayed, one or two other
people agree with the first person in prayer. When they have finished, another person
mentions their request through prayer and two more follow him up by adding their
support through prayer.
Part 3: Fellowship Group Dynamics Prayer in the Fellowship Group, 3

3.10
MAKING YOUR PRAYER TIME KINGDOM-CENTERED
Kingdom-Centered Prayer is prayer beyond our typical prayer that has a tendency to
be self-centered. Kingdom prayer is focused on the needs of the Kingdom. It is
revival prayer, a longing for God's glory to be shown. Look at the prayer of Moses,
in Exodus 33: He refused to go on without the presence of God. "If your presence
will not go with me, do not carry us up from here." (Ex 33:16) He continued to
plead: "I pray, show me your Glory!" (Ex 33:18) And the Lord granted his request,
and passed by the cleft in the rock, showing Moses a taste of his glory.
Our prayer for revival needs to be equally strong. "Show us your Glory!" is the
theme of Kingdom-centered prayer. Three elements of this kind of powerful prayer
can be seen: it is focused on God's presence and kingdom, it is bold and specific, and
it is prevailing and corporate.
1. It is Focused on Jack Miller talks about the difference between "maintenance prayer" and "front-line
God's Presence and prayer" meetings. Maintenance prayer meetings are short, mechanical, and totally
Kingdom focused on physical needs inside the church. But front-line prayer has three basic
traits:
1. A request for grace to confess sins and humble ourselves
2. A compassion and zeal for the flourishing of the church and reaching the lost
3. A yearning to know God, to see his face, to see his glory
These focuses are not meant to be trite. It is quite clear when listening to a prayer
meeting whether these traits are present. A helpful study is to look at Biblical prayers
of revival such as found in Exodus 33 (described above), Nehemiah 1, Isaiah 62 and
64, or Acts 4. These three elements are easy to see. Notice, for example, in Acts 4,
that the disciples, whose very lives are threatened, did not ask for protection for
themselves and their families, but only for boldness to keep on preaching! "And
when they had prayed, the place in which they were gathered together was shaken;
they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and spoke the word of God with boldness."
(Acts 4:31 RSV)
Or, look at the history of revivals and renewals of the church. Jack Miller describes
the dramatic change that took place in his church when they changed their weekly
prayer meeting (which was always dull and poorly attended) from "maintenance
prayer" to "front-line prayer." The concerted prayer that began on Fulton Street in
1857 was prayer for revival. And what a revival resulted: between 500,000 and
1,000,000 people were converted in the next two years! God's people must pray for
revival. He will choose when the revival comes, but he certainly will withdraw from
sending a revival if his people aren't praying for it.

3.10
2. It is Bold and Lloyd-Jones notes that the greatest men and women used by God were quite bold in
Specific prayer, highly specific, and filled their mouths with arguments. In commenting on
Moses' prayer for glory in Exodus 33, he writes:
"I commend to you the reading of biographies of men who have been used by
God in the church throughout the centuries, especially in revival. And you will
find this same holy boldness, this argumentation, this reasoning, this putting the
case to God, pleading his own promises. Oh, that is the whole secret of prayer, I
sometimes think. Thomas Goodwin uses a wonderful term. He says, "Sue him
for it, sue him for it!" Do not leave him alone. Pester him, as it were, with his
own promise. Quote the Scripture to him. And, you know, God delights to hear
us doing it, as father likes to see this element in his own child who has obviously
been listening to what his father has been saying." 1
It is important to note that the boldness comes from a strong relationship with God.
Lloyd-Jones continues to explain that those who know that they are sons and
daughters can come before the Lord as their Father and address him in a bold,
specific manner. It would be disrespectful, except that we are merely asking for what
God wants– his Glory to be shown in the world. Those who don't have a deep
relationship with God cannot show this boldness because they don't rely on their
status as children of God and because they aren't seeking God's will, his Kingdom
rule. "What is happening here is this: we are not seeing a man under the Law
speaking to the Lawgiver. No, it is a child here speaking to his Father. And the little
child can take liberties with his father that a grown-up man, who is not his child,
would not dare to take." (p 196) See here also where the other elements (a deep
understanding of the gospel and boldness) of renewal integrate.
3. It is Prevailing, By this we mean simply that prayer should be constant, not sporadic and brief. Why?
Corporate Are we to think that God wants to see us grovel? Why don't we simply put in our
request and wait? The answer is that we should not be so impertinent. Sporadic, brief
prayer is such because we do not make time for it. It shows a lack of dependence, a
self-sufficiency, and thus we have not built an altar that God will honor with his
glory fire. We must pray without ceasing, pray long, pray hard, and we will find that
the very process is bringing about that which we are asking for– to have our hearts
melted, to tear down barriers, to have the glory of God break through.
This also means that individual believers need to be the front-line of prayer.
Although leaders must set the pace, we all are called to this priestly office of prayer.
It should be found in our worship services, in our prayer meetings, in our home
groups, and most of all in our devotional life. Prayer of this sort renews the heart and
the church. In short, why wait for everyone else to lead the charge?
An example of the effects of Kingdom-centered revival prayer from The Denver
Post, January 20, 1905:
Entire City Pauses for Prayer Even At the High Tide of Business
Remarkable outburst of gospel sentiment . . . noonday meetings draw
congregations unprecedented in numbers. For two hours at midday all Denver
was held in a spell . . .. The marts of trade were deserted between noon and two
o'clock this afternoon, and all worldly affairs were forgotten, and the entire city
was given over to meditation of higher things. The Spirit of the Almighty
pervaded every nook. Going to and coming from the great meetings, the
thousands of men and women radiated this Spirit which filled them, and the
1
Lloyd-Jones, Revival, p 197. Lloyd-Jones devotes almost half of his book to prayer in revival. Another
recommended book is Concerts of Prayer, by David Bryant (Regal, 1984), which shows how to set up prayer
meetings for renewal.

3.10
clear Colorado sunshine was made brighter by the reflected glow of the light of
God shining from happy faces. Seldom has such a remarkable sight been
witnessed– an entire great city, in the middle of a busy weekday, bowing before
the throne of heaven and asking and receiving the blessing of the King of the
2
Universe.
2
Quoted in Rebirth of America, Arthur DeMoss Foundation, 1986. p 65

3.11
Mission: An Overview
The church does not exist for itself. It exists to carry out God’s purposes in the world
so that glory is brought to him. As microcosms of the church, Fellowship Groups
also do not exist for themselves. They are to be concerned with God’s cause: the
formation of a people who belong to him, who reflect his character, and who share
his concern for seeing the world become a just and joyful place.
MUTUAL MINISTRY AS MISSION

Though a group ought to eventually be directing its energies to those outside its
membership, its mission must begin with building up one another. Each person in the
group is to be concerned with seeing Christ formed in the other group members. We
are to look beyond our own individual needs to the needs of the others in the
community. Selflessness is practiced within the group prior to being practiced
outside the group. This aspect of the groups mission and ministry continues on
throughout its existence and is crucial to the ministry it carries on outside its walls.
For as J.I. Packer has stated, “In the Christian life, community has priority over
witness.” Only as we develop a unique quality of life as a community will the gospel
message we share seem credible. Only as we provide support for one another will we
be sustained over the long haul in our efforts to seek mercy and justice for those who
desperately need them. Only as we develop a common life will we be able to discern
what kinds of ministry, if any, we should be involved in as a group.
One extension of mutual ministry within the group is ministry done by the group to
the larger church body. A group might decide together to participate in children’s
ministry, in ushering, in welcoming newcomers, etc.
EVANGELISM AS MISSION
The plight of others who are “without God and without hope in the world” should be
of great concern to us. Making sure that others are able to hear the life-giving
message of the Gospel is to be one of our preoccupations. The next section of the
manual contains a number of ideas for how a group can reach out to those who are
not Christians and invite them to turn to Christ and participate in God’s story of
setting all things right.
SOCIAL ACTION AS MISSION
Christianity is a faith which is concerned with “world redemption” and not merely
individual redemption. As Eugene Peterson writes, “Salvation is God’s
determination to rescue his creation; it is his activity in recovering the world. It is
personal and impersonal, it deals with souls and cities, it touches sin and
sickness...God takes on the entire catastrophe.” Therefore, when Jesus, who was
“powerful in word and deed” (Luke 24:19) calls us to love our neighbors, such love
will necessarily involve both word and deed. The ministry of Jesus makes it clear
that all Christians have a responsibility to care for the poor, the downcast and those
who are hurting. How this is done, however, is an area in which we are given a great
degree of latitude.
Some groups will choose to participate together in activities which minister to the
material needs and brokenness of our world. Other groups will not do much by way
of outside ministry as a group. Instead, they will be a base from which individual
Christians are sent out into the world in the name of Christ. The group will provide
encouragement, strength and prayer for one another in the ministry to which we are
called in our places of our work and in situations or neighborhoods of need.
Part 3; Fellowship Group Dynamics Mission: Doing Justice and Loving Mercy, 1
3.12
Mission: Evangelism
PREPARING THE GROUP FOR EVANGELISM
The church as a community does not exist merely for itself. We are stewards of the
Good News which is to be proclaimed to all humanity. Unless we are energetically
involved in gathering people into the church who presently fall outside of its refuge,
we are only a caricature of the church. We carry the treasure of the gospel in vessels
of clay and we must do all in our power to get these riches to our fellow creatures.
This message is what humans beings, condemned and dying, most need to hear.
The message is simply this: Though we are rebels against God and moral failures,
we are deeply loved and cherished by God on account of Christ's sin-bearing death
and resurrection. Those who have embraced Christ have been delivered from the
penalty of sin and will be delivered from its presence into a renewed heavens and
earth. There, our intimacy with God and with others will be unparalleled. Presently,
we are set free to love boldly. This is truly good news that deserves a wide hearing.
To the degree that people in your group understand the condition of those who have
not yet received this news, they will be motivated to share it. If you offer the below
methods without casting a vision which motivates your group members or making
sure they are personally experiencing the good news, your efforts at evangelism will
be frustrated. Guilt manipulation or loud calls to obedience will not be able to sustain
healthy evangelistic activity.
THE BENEFITS OF GROUP EVANGELISM

Though much emphasis is given to personal evangelism, there are many benefits to
doing evangelism as a group. First, it takes advantage of all the gifts in the body of
Christ. Some people may excel at establishing relationships with those outside the
Christian community and inviting them in, others at answering difficult questions,
some at communicating the gospel, others at calling for a decision, and still others at
engaging in fervent prayer. While all of us are called to all of these jobs, we tend to
be stronger at some and weaker at others. Working together both strengthens
community and the potential effectiveness of our evangelism. By engaging in group
evangelistic activity we are true to our corporate nature and we spread the work
around so that no one person shoulders all the burden for ministering to others.
Second, reaching out to others as a group enables non-believers to see the quality of
our relationships. Jesus reminds us that it is by the love we show to one another that
people would recognize that we were his disciples.
THE TIMING OF GROUP EVANGELISM
As you make plans for specific evangelistic activities, it is important that you
schedule it at a time when the energy in your group is high. If you make the mistake
of scheduling it when enthusiasm is waning (i.e. the summer months or when
attendance is low), the chances of the activity being perceived as a failure increase
greatly. There will be few people to invite others and even fewer accepting
invitations. Future attempts will then be resisted. Try to schedule evangelistic
activities when group attendance and enthusiasm are high. It may seem more hectic,
but the returns will be greater and future attempts will be embraced.
MODELS FOR GROUP EVANGELISM
Part 3: Fellowship Group Dynamics Mission: Evangelism, 1

3.12
The following models are not exclusive of one another. Many of them can be done in
conjunction with others to bring about greater evangelistic effectiveness. A group
could potentially practice every one of these models. Each group should practice
some of them.
1. Open Group Perhaps one of the simplest and most invigorating ways in which your group can
Evangelism practice evangelism is by remaining open to those who are skeptical towards Christ
and his claims. Invite them into the group and encourage your group members to
invite them as well. What is crucial in this model is that you do not alter your agenda
because non-believers are present. Worship, Bible study, sharing and prayer ought to
take place. It is often in experiencing Christian community that people come to see
the truth of the Christian faith.
However, sensitivity ought to come into play in making things intelligible to the
non-initiated. You ought to avoid Christian jargon or explain it when it is used.
Certainly you ought to be careful about the way you refer to non-Christians. Your
language should make them feel welcome as participants in the life of the group and
not as outsiders. Some of the terms you might use include: “Those of you who at this
point have not embraced the Christian faith”, “Those of you who are seeking but
have not yet come to a place of solid belief”, “Those of you who may be somewhat
skeptical towards the Christian faith.”
What you want to avoid is unnecessary alienation or making them feel excluded.
This ought to be your practice whether or not non-Christians are present for at least
two reasons. First, there may be people in your group who do not believe of whom
you are not aware. Second, if you speak with care regularly, then people who may
have not brought unbelieving friends for fear that they would be unnecessarily
offended, may feel free to begin bringing them.
While some argue that keeping a group open undermines honesty and vulnerability,
this need not be the case. If your purpose is to meet with Christ and experience him
in your midst ministering to you and through you to one another, then appropriate
vulnerability will be able to occur even if there are new members in the group. The
dictum that we follow in our worship services is appropriate here: Aim at edifying
believers and you will not be able to challenge non-believers. Aim at reaching non-
believers and you will bore believers. Aim at meeting and worshipping Christ in his
love and holiness and you will challenge non-believers and edify believers.
2. Praying regularly All effective and sustained evangelism begins with prayer. There is little chance that
for friends who have your group members will have a vision for seeing their friends experience the riches
not embraced Christ of Christ if. They are not regularly praying for them. Encourage your group
members to keep a list of 5-7 friends and to pray a few times a week for the
opportunity to share the gospel with them and for their embracing of the gospel.
Make sure that in your fellowship group you regularly set aside time for prayer
regarding these friends who are without the knowledge and experience of Christ's
love. Pray that they would come to know the love of their Creator and Savior whom
to know is better than life itself. By praying together in the fellowship group, you
develop accountability for evangelism. This level of evangelistic activity is the
minimum requirement for groups.

3.12
3. Outreach Dinner An outreach dinner involves planning occasional meals (1-4 times per year) to which
you invite non-believing friends. As part of the evening, you hold an informal
discussion on a topic which is announced to your guests beforehand. Everyone is
encouraged to participate and share their views. In the discussion it is expected that
how the Christian faith relates to the topic will come out. Usually one person will
serve as emcee for the evening. At the end of the discussion, he/she might share the
gospel as it relates to the topic and could invite folks to the Fellowship Group for the
coming weeks or to a series of investigative Bible studies (see below). The training
that “Business and Professional Outreach” offers for their “Home Outreach Buffets”
could prove very helpful for this type of evangelism. You might consider sending
one or two of your members to this training.
4. Investigative Bible Hold a series of Bible studies (3-4 weeks in length) which investigate the person of
Studies Jesus and the central content of the gospel. This can be done as a substitute for your
regularly scheduled Home Group or held at a different time and place. If you choose
to do it at a different time and place, those who do not have friends in attendance
might meet at another site and pray for the effect of the study. Also, if you have
chosen to hold these at a different time you could do it as a joint project with another
Fellowship group or two.
5. Special Rather than holding your usual meeting, invite friends to hear a special speaker (one
Events/Speakers of the pastors or some other qualified individual). This may work especially well at
Christmas and Easter seasons but can be done at other times as well. The topic
should catch the attention and interest of friends you would invite. There should be
time for questions and discussion. Topics might include: “Did the virgin birth really
happen?”, “What is the true Christmas spirit?”, “Evidences for the resurrection.”,
“Can we know God?”, “Why do bad things happen to good people?”, “Do science
and the Bible conflict?”, “What is spirituality according to the Bible?”, “Do miracles
happen?”, etc. You might consider following up such a talk by inviting people to
your home group or to a short-term investigative Bible study.
6. Service projects If your group participates in ministering to the homeless, tutoring children, habitat
for humanity or some other form of social outreach, consider inviting your friends to
join you in the work. People enjoy being able to make a difference. Such
opportunities can be a great way of introducing others to Jesus Christ and the work
to which he calls his people. From there, you can invite them to your Fellowship
group or worship services.
7. Using worship Invite friends to a worship service. You might seek to do this at the same time and
services perhaps invite them to a brunch afterwards. Or you might merely hold one another
accountable to inviting friends at regular intervals. You could pray for the boldness
of one another and for the friends you plan to invite.
8. Basic Christianity Encourage friends or group attenders who are unbelievers to attend our Sunday
Bible Study morning Basics in Christianity class. You may also want to encourage young, new
or immature believers in your group to attend this class.

3.13
Troubleshooting: Common Problems

There are a number of problems or difficult situations which arise with great
regularity in Fellowship Groups. These can cause some degree of anxiety for the
leader as well as many of the members. Below are listed the most common troubles
which arise and some suggestions for how to deal with them.
The person who This most common way to deal with this person is to say, “Jeff has been saying a
dominates the group number of helpful things. Does someone else have something to add?” or “We have
heard a lot from some people on the previous questions. Can we hear from some of
the others of you on this next question?” If the person is regularly giving long-
winded answers to questions, the leader may need to jump in when the person takes a
breath and simply ask, “Does anyone else have something to add?” You might also
try to avoid eye contact. If the person does not seem to get the hint that they are
occupying more than their fair share of the time, you may need to address them
privately along these lines: “I really do appreciate your enthusiasm and willingness
to share your insights. However, something which you might not be aware of is that
the frequency of your speaking and the length of your responses has a potentially
stifling effect on other people sharing. I am sure you don’t mean for that to happen,
but I am afraid that it sometimes does.” Having said that you might ask the person,
“What is your reaction to what I have said?” This gives you and the individual a
chance to interact.
One other way to deal with this and many other kinds of potential problems is to
have periodic evaluations of the group. Consider using the evaluation form from
section 2.8. At such an evaluation you might ask the group as a whole, “What do you
think about the balance of participation in the group? Is there anything which is
stifling participation in the group? Is there anything which if it were changed would
facilitate greater participation from the group as a whole?” Though this may strike
you as fairly risky, it has a great number of benefits. It provides opportunities for the
truth to be spoken in love and it allows for the community to solve its problems
together rather than relying on one individual to do all the work. It can often bring
great healing in the group and bring it to new levels of honesty and maturity.
The person who says There will undoubtedly be many times when someone gives an answer to a question
something that is that is absolutely incorrect and which may even qualify as heresy. What ought you to
heretical do? First of all, avoid your initial impulse to correct the person. It is likely that the
person does not realize that he or she is saying something which is out of accord
with Christian doctrine. If you are too quick correct the person you may well end up
stifling his or her future impulses to participate in the group. That would be
disastrous. The group needs to remain a safe place for people to share. It needs to be
a place where people are free to make mistakes. Second, remember that groups tend
to self-correct the heresy which arises within them. Usually you can just say,
“Thanks for sharing. Does anyone else have a different opinion or something else to
add?” Generally, the more mature members of the group will provide insights which
are more in keeping with the truth of the Scripture. By affirming the insights of the
more mature believers, the individual who made the heretical comment and others
who might have been swayed by them will come to see the comment was off-target.
It will then be unnecessary to confront them directly.
However, if you don’t think the statement has been countered adequately and that
significant confusion remains then you might feel compelled to say, “I appreciate
what all of you have shared. However, I think what the Bible says about this is...”
Finally, if someone shares something that just cannot be supported by the text under
consideration it is often quite appropriate to point the group back to the text and ask,
Part 3: Fellowship Group Dynamics Troubleshooting: Questions and Reviews, 1

3.13
“Just how do you see your point arising from the text? Is that really what it says?”
The only caution before proceeding in this manner is to make sure that the mistake is
serious enough to warrant it. Assuming that the people in your group are attending a
worship service in which they are getting good teaching you might decide that such
an approach would do more harm than good.
A person rarely The first thing to determine is whether the questions you are asking are sufficiently
participates open-ended so that they encourage sharing. Some kinds of questions can stifle
participation. Assuming the questions you are asking encourage participation, you
might just need to let the group know that the responses that have been given to the
question don’t exhaust everything that can be said. By simply asking frequently,
“Does anyone else have something to add?” you might solve the silence problem. If
that doesn’t work and the problem of quietness is widespread you could say to the
group at large, “We are mostly hearing from just a few people. We would really love
to hear from everyone. All of you are valuable to the group and I am sure that you
have insights that the rest of us can benefit from. We need to hear what you have to
say.” If the problem is just with one person, you might want to say something
similar to them in private. Let them know that you are glad they are part of the group
even if they choose to rarely share, but that you are sure the group would benefit
from what they thought. Realize, of course, that some people are just more quiet by
nature and that some only share when they are convinced that their thoughts would
contribute to the furtherance of the discussion. What you should AVOID doing is
putting a person on the spot by calling on them by name. They may truly not have
anything to say about the particular question under consideration and you will only
succeed in embarrassing them. They may choose to stay away from the group in the
future.
A particularly troubled How you handle this situation depends on the particular person in question. Usually,
person drains all of the you will have to approach the person and address the behaviors which are disrupting
life out of the group the group. This will take both courage and tact and will often require firmness as
well. But you should not avoid it. We have a responsibility to one another. If a
person lacks social skills or is behaving in a socially inappropriate manner it is
important to help them. Speaking the truth in love requires leaders and members to
confront dysfunctional group behavior, even though it may make you uncomfortable
to do so. It is suggested that you seek insight from other group members and your
coordinator as to how to handle difficult people. On some occasions, you will need
to help the person seek out another group which would be better for them. See
section 3:15.
The group keeps going The first thing you will need to decide is whether the tangent is valuable enough to
off on tangents pursue or whether it qualifies as unhelpful esoterica. When the tangents are in the
latter category just remind the group that you have limited time and that you think
the group will be best served by sticking to the text. You might say, “That really is
an interesting question and those who are interested in it can pursue it if they like
after we close. In the meantime I think we would benefit most if we stuck to the
passage at hand.” At other times you might just say, “We seem to be getting off on a
tangent again. Let’s stick to the passage at hand.” Then ask a question which turns
people’s attention back to the text. It is up to the leader to keep the group on track.
Someone asks a major You will probably be best served by saying, “That is an important question but if we
question just as you try to get into it now we won’t be able to do it justice. I would be glad to get together
run out of time with you either after the group or at another time to talk to you about it. Or if the
group would like to we can take up the question at another meeting.”

3.13
The group is overly It is very easy for groups to use the Bible as foil which prevents them from really
intellectual, not heart- interacting with one another. If this takes place it is important to get the group to
felt become involved in personal sharing. You will need to spend much more time using
sharing questions which get people talking about their personal lives. See section 3:9
for these questions. As long as the group avoids genuine interaction, it will not be
transformational in nature.
Prayer requests are As with many of these issues, the most important thing you can do is to be honest
too far removed from and forthright about the problem. You should point out to the group its patterns of
the genuine needs of behavior. You will need to call the group to vulnerability about their own needs. You
people’s lives might say, “It is certainly a good thing to be praying for the needs of people outside
this group for whom we have concerns, but let’s make sure we do not do so at the
expense of praying for character issues and difficulties which we are facing in our
own lives. We need to be engaged in the mutual ministry of praying for one
another’s needs.” If group members do not get to the place of being able to talk
about the difficulties which they are facing, the unwillingness to deal with reality
will eventually create boredom and frustration in the group. Members will then drop
out.
People are long- If you are going to pray together with the entire group, ask people to be concise in
winded in their prayer their sharing of prayer requests and succinct in their prayers. Your other option is to
requests and the break up the group into pairs or triads and allow them to share and pray in these
prayer time becomes groups. With this arrangement, people will have more time to both share and pray.
too long
A FINAL WORD OF CAUTION

For many of these problems the worst thing you can do is to ignore them and hope
they will go away. It is unlikely that they will disappear unless you address them. If
you let them go on unaddressed, the members in the group will gradually cease to
attend as their dissatisfaction with the group life grows. Your failure to act will lead
to the death of the group. Remember your chief job as a leader is to do everything in
your power to get the group to function as a healthy community. This will
occasionally require you to do things which don’t come natural and which seem
unpleasant. But love for God’s people and concern for their well-being ought to
serve as sufficient motivation for carrying out a difficult task.

3.14
Troubleshooting:
Following-Up With Those Who Fall Through the Cracks
Inevitably, some individuals who have attended your fellowship group will stop
coming. Our natural inclination is to assume they would not want to be contacted.
We believe that they will perceive us as a nag or a bother. We are afraid we will just
make them feel guilty. We may also assume that the reason they stopped coming is
that they did not find the group beneficial. The first lesson of follow-up is simply
this: Make No Assumptions! In years of following people up I have rarely run across
someone who was not glad that they had been called. We fear follow-up, but we
need not do so. It communicates to people that you care. It communicates that their
absence was noticed. Often your calling up is the first indication to them that people
in the church actually do care about them as an individual. They are more than part
of the masses. It can be a turning point in their relationship with the church and with
your fellowship group. Even if the individual does not return to your group, they are
usually glad that they have been contacted. Ultimately, we should be following
people up because we believe that Christian fellowship is essential to living a God-
pleasing life. Aware that they may not be benefiting from this means of grace, we
should call them out of a sincere desire to see their Christian life flourish.
WHEN TO FOLLOW-UP
You may make it your practice of following-up people on any week which they do
not show up for the group and have not contacted you beforehand to make you aware
that they would be absent. The benefit of this type of procedure is that it doesn't
make individuals feel like they have been singled out. You might even announce to
the group that this will be your practice. Also by doing follow-up weekly it becomes
a normal habit and discipline in your life as a leader. However, this can be a labor
intensive practice and for that reason you may decide on a different pattern of
follow-up. Instead, you may choose to follow-up anyone who has missed two or
three meetings with out letting you know that they would be absent. If you follow
this route you must discipline yourself to follow through on it. It becomes much
easier to procrastinate with this methodology which often then leads to putting it off
entirely. If a person's attendance is especially erratic you may also choose to follow
them up.
If you have procrastinated to the point that it now feels awkward following-up the
individual, you should still press on and contact the person. Their needs are to
determine your actions, not your embarrassment.
HOW TO FOLLOW-UP
How does one follow people up? There are three options: Personal interaction, a
telephone call, a note.
Personal Interaction: This is the preferred means of follow-up. Face to face interaction allows for you to
communicate your genuine concern to the person in a complete way. This option
should only be taken if you are fairly certain that you will be seeing the person
within the week. If you don't see the person on the occasion which you expected to
see them, then you should immediately pursue one of the other means of follow- up.
What should you say? Probably something like this: "Bill, we missed you at the
fellowship group meeting this past week. Is everything all right?"
If missing the group is a pattern you might say, "We have been missing you at the
fellowship group. We have appreciated what you contributed when you have come
Part 3: Fellowship Group Dynamics Following-up Those Who Fall Through the Cracks, 1
3.14
and would love to have you there regularly. Is there a reason or reasons why you
haven't been attending?"
After asking this question it is important not to put words in their mouth. Allow them
to answer for themselves. They may have been out of town. They may have been
extra-busy at work. There may be some personal problems. They may not feel like
they fit in your particular group. They may not feel like they are getting much out of
the experience. You need to be able to respond appropriately to whatever reason they
might offer. If they have been out of town or busy you might just say, "Well, we have
missed you and hope to see you soon . We will next be meeting on __________.
Hope to see you there." If some personal issues have prevented them from attending
then you will want to provide appropriate pastoral care for them. Perhaps you will
want to schedule a time to meet with them.
If one of the last two reasons is their actual reason for not attending they will be less
likely to disclose this. If you sense that they are disappointed with the group for
some reason you may need to give them some help to enable them to tell you. You
might ask, "Is there something about the group in particular which has disappointed
you? I really would appreciate your feedback if there is. Did you have certain
expectations for the group which you feel are not being met?" This must be asked
with humility and a genuine openness to hear what they are saying. You should not
register your disappointment, but in as much as you are able, affirm the
appropriateness of their expectations. Of course, many people bring inappropriate
expectations to a group. This becomes a moment where you can pastor them with
regards to their expectations ("Yes, I understand your desire to be involved in a
group where people are not superficial with one another but share about what is
really going on in their heart and life. My hope is that the group gets there. In fact,
we are making progress. But that kind of interaction takes time and we still have a
ways to go."..."I understand your desire for more doctrinal input in your life. It sure
has made a difference in mine. However, fellowship groups are not especially good
vehicles for transmitting doctrine. The school of discipleship is much better at that
and I would certainly encourage you to make a practice of attending those classes.
Fellowship groups, however, are very important for receiving encouragement and
support for living the Christian life. That is something which we all need.")
There is also the possibility that the person just does not feel like they fit in your
particular group. If you sense that they may feel like this is the case you could say,
"Perhaps you feel like this particular group isn't quite right for you. I certainly won't
be offended if you thought this group might not be the best for you. While we would
like to have you with us, it might be that you would fit into another group better and
that it would be more beneficial to you. If you are thinking that may be the case, I
would be glad to help you find another group." Of course, if it turns out that their
schedule doesn't fit with the time your group is meeting then it would also be
appropriate to help them find another group which is more accessible to them.
Telephone Call: The telephone is another good means for following-up a person. Normally you will
follow much the same course as is suggested above. If you get an answering machine
you might say, "Hello. This is Bill from the Fellowship group. We missed you at the
group this past week. I'm just calling to make sure all is well and to let you know that
our next meeting is _____________. Please give me a call if there is anything I can
do for you. Hope to see you at the next meeting. Take care." If you get an answering
machine and you would like to talk to the person rather than their machine you might
say, "Hello. This is Bill from the Fellowship group. We missed you recently at the
group. Hope you are well. Please give me a call when you get a chance. My number
is....Take care." Then when they call back you can say, “Thanks for calling back. I
just wanted to make sure that everything was O.K. and let you know when our next
3.14
meeting will take place." This gives you the opportunity to have further interaction
with them. If they don't call back you might just leave another message letting them
know when the next meeting will take place.
Note: A note is a means of following up that is non-threatening and avoids putting the
person on the spot. It can be dashed off and does the job of communicating that you
care. "We missed you at the fellowship group this past week. I hope everything is
O.K. Our next meeting is ____________ . Hope to see there. Please feel free to
contact me if you want. Sincerely,______________." If you don't get a response after
a few weeks then you may want to use more a direct method of following-up.
Remember that in this process we are not interested in hounding the person. We
cannot control what they will do. We don't want to be coercive. If they decide to stay
away, then there is nothing you can do about that. What you can do is communicate
that you care about their absence and that you have their needs at interest.
3.15
Troubleshooting: Referral of Troubled and Troubling People

IDENTIFYING THE TROUBLED AND TROUBLING
“Troubling people” are not those who are merely hard to love, or require some extra
energy, or are “not your kind of people." The best definition is that “troubling
people” are those who dominate the group and overwhelm it, so that they shift the
focus of the group to the extent that the group cannot reach its goals, and therefore it
ceases to be a worthwhile experience for the majority who attend. They are people
who have ongoing critical needs that are beyond the scope of the Fellowship Group
leader. For the most part these needs are emotional or psychological in nature. They
are destructive to the group. People tend to be driven away from group because of
them.
We must not lose compassion for these people or treat them as problems to be
solved, but instead see them as people in whom God is working but who need more
intensive care then most Fellowship Groups are capable or designed to give.
Alternative support and care giving systems are required for them. Pray for them and
guide them into their new supportive community.
THE PROCESS OF REFERRING THE TROUBLED AND TROUBLING
1. Talk to your Elder to confirm that a person needs additional support. It is
important not to wait too long to do this. If you do your group may be
unnecessarily harmed.
2. Your Elder will consult with your Community Pastor and they will talk and pray
through the next course of action. This might include a pastoral referral, a
meeting with the Fellowship Group leader, elder, and participant, or a referral to
an outside counseling service, or some combination of these actions.
3. The Fellowship Group Leader either with or without their Elder will caringly and
tactfully invite the individual to consider the recommended course of action.
Part 3: Fellowship Group Dynamics Troubleshooting: Referral of Troubled and troubling People, 1
PART FOUR:
Pastoral Care
4.1
The Nature of Shepherding

THE GROUP LEADER AS LAY SHEPHERD
Shepherding or pastoring God's flock is not the exclusive responsibility of paid
clergy. Instead, the New Testament continually refers to “house churches” run by lay
leadership. Additionally, the “one another” passages require lay shepherding in order
to be fulfilled. In one sense, therefore, all believers are called to shepherd, or nurture,
one another in Christ. A Fellowship Group leader is someone who is particularly
gifted in this area. You should not have to feel a call to the ordained ministry in order
to be an effective group leader.
Once you have become involved in a few people's lives, you quickly realize both the
thrill and the terror of shepherding. The thrill is participating in the work of the Holy
Spirit as people are transformed into Christlikeness. The terror comes from always
reaching beyond your own capacity. A proper attitude must therefore always be
humble reliance on Christ alone, heartfelt gratitude for his mercy, and sincere
repentance for your multitude of sinful actions and motivations.
MARKS OF A BIBLICAL LEADER

Biblical leaders have a They need to know God's purpose for his world and his people. The goal of all
Christian purpose history is the glory of God. They need to comprehend the redemptive plan of God
centered in Christ and the final outcome of that plan. Their purpose is to build the
Kingdom of God, not through physical weapons but through the powerful sword of
truth found in Scripture and prayer.
1. They lead by example. (See 1Pet 5:2). People follow a person, rather than an
Biblical leaders have a abstract principle. You must, therefore, be growing as a disciple yourself. You
Christian methodology are not a tyrant or an authority. Only the Word of God is an authority; you are
submitting to God's Word just like everyone else.
2. They lead by service. (Mark 10:35ff). Jesus was a strong leader, but he used his
leadership to serve God and people rather than to gain prestige or power.
Servanthood and leadership are compatible.
Biblical leaders have a This understanding of people includes the leaders themselves. Three primary
Christian elements:
understanding of 1. People are created in the image of God and as an individual. All people are
people treated with dignity and respect, not as a clone.
2. People are fallen. The leader is gentle with those who are ignorant and
backsliding, since he is liable to weaknesses.
3. People are redeemable. You must believe in the power of the gospel to change
people.
THE CHARACTER OF AN EFFECTIVE SHEPHERD

Warmth Treat people hopefully, as they potentially are. So much of pastoral warmth is a
function of non-verbal cues. Movement and posture, eye contact, expression,
attitude, and timing. The key means of warmth is to talk personally, not afraid to
express compassion and affection, and to praise honestly but liberally. Be careful,
however, because people can spot a counterfeit compliment.
Transparency Also called Biblical “sincerity.” This is a function of Christian humility (a self-
forgetfulness, a lack of self-consciousness). It is being open about your own
thoughts and feelings, your own limits as well. Transparency means being truthful
about your concerns and your needs. It is not simply “spilling your guts,” because
Part 4: Pastoral Care The Nature of Shepherding, 1

4.1
that can be done to draw attention to yourself, or to manipulate others. Being self-
revealing must be done in order to serve. Transparency is also integrity, not being
radically different in public from what you are in private.
Active Listening What active listening is not: 1) Parrot. “I hear you saying...". 2) Guru. Spouting
clichés and quotes. 3) Detective. Firing lots of questions. 4) Drill sergeant. Providing
pat answers. 5) Swami. Predicting the future. 6) Florist. Being super-duper positive.
7) Judge. Showing the error of their ways. 8) Historian. Recounting your experience
endlessly. What it is: 1) Asking open-ended questions that encourage more
elaboration. 2) Slowing down your responses by checking the other person's content
through paraphrasing. 3) Finally provide alternative solutions and check their
evaluation of each.
How long do you listen before providing answers? Longer when: 1) The person
knows the answer, but needs more support than information 2) You know the answer
will be hard to hear 3) You do not know the person well 4) You are not sure what the
person really wants from you. Shorter when: 1) the person is sinning by the very
conversation [gossip, slander, etc.] 2) the person's excessive talkativeness is a clear
avoidance of an important issue 3) the person is intoxicated or severely depressed 4)
this is an often repeated survey of the same ground.
Serving Watch for “crunch” situations in people's lives. Find out about family or personal
crises (sickness, death, problems) and offer support, prayer, and loving deeds. Find
out about job-related problems or living situation “pinches.” Many people in New
York lack certain basic domestic items. Can you provide any? Can you provide
information about how to get things done in the city?
Invite people to do things that you believe they would enjoy doing: a visit to a
gallery, a sporting event, etc. It is “serving” if you can provide something to make an
event easier (a free ticket!). Last, connect people with others who might be helpful to
them, in their profession or in ministry.
GET PEOPLE TO DEAL WITH GOD, NOT YOU

The most important manifestation is that a pastor gets people to deal with God. Most
people prefer anything to that. There will be a tremendous temptation on the part of
most people to treat you as a surrogate for God when you exemplify the above
characteristics and there will also be a temptation for you to allow them to do so. It
is, after all, flattering to be treated in such a way. You must resist the temptation.
Real change takes place in our lives only when we deal with God. You must not
allow people to treat you as the answer man and go away feeling as though they
have dealt with God when in actuality they have only dealt with you. Your essential
tasks are to teach people to pray - the act of being attentive to God - and to pray for
them.
ASPECTS OF SHEPHERDING
"Pastoring” and “shepherding” in the Bible are the same word. It is a word that has
aspects of nurture and guidance. It ultimately means to be responsible for the long
term growth of a person.
1. Shepherding is the ability to tap Christians' ability and responsibility to
shepherd one another.
2. Shepherding is the skill of knowing where people need to grow. The skill of
spiritual diagnosis.
3. Shepherding is the work of getting people (not necessarily giving people)

4.1
what they need to grow. A shepherd connects people with what they need.
4. Shepherding is the gift of helping people find their gifts.
5. Shepherding is visible caring through personal contact.
Acts 20:28 – “Take heed (pay close and careful attention to)...all the flock.” A
shepherd seeks to become intimately familiar with all the characteristics,
circumstances, and needs of the person. A shepherd must know the people; the
people should be conscious that their shepherd knows them.
Acts 20:31 – “...for three years I did not cease night and day to admonish every one
with tears.” A shepherd shows that love and care in his personal contact. The
shepherd seeks to be transparent enough so the people see how he/she feels and
thinks (“with tears”). Second, the shepherd by physical presence shows that he/she
cares. By being available (“night and day”), the shepherd expresses the love of the
Good Shepherd.

4.2
Biblical Change
THE NEED FOR CHANGE (SEE THE MAHANEY CHAPTER, WHY SMALL GROUPS?)
One of the goals of the Christian life is that we will be conformed into the image of
Christ (Rom. 8:29). All of us are far from showing forth his likeness; we are not
what we ought to be. Bridging the gap between what we are and what we ought to be
is one of God’s great interests, and it ought to be ours as well. We need to change. A
shepherd’s role is to help others change. Therefore, it is critical that we understand
how change takes place in our own lives and in the lives around us. This chapter
provides the theological and methodological foundation for the rest of the “Pastoral
Care” section of the Manual.
This chapter is long in order to explore each aspect in detail. Here is a summary: The
goal for our change is the life of Jesus himself. The power for change is nothing less
than the grace of God. The tool for change is Scripture applied to our heart by the
Holy Spirit. The battlefield of change is heart-rebellion against God, or idolatry. The
process of change, then, is a two-fold discipline: first, repenting and turning from
idols and second, believing the gospel. The context for change is the worshipping
Christian community. Last, we are reminded that this is a life-long process and that
God gives us strength to endure.
THE GOAL FOR CHANGE: CHRISTLIKENESS

Becoming like Jesus in the beauty and glory of his humanity is the end for which
God’s children are destined. “Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus did”
(1 John 2:6). In looking at him we learn what it means to be a fully alive human
being.
In the Incarnate Jesus we see one who lived with an undivided heart before God. All
of his actions were done out of love for the Father. He committed himself to serving
God’s purposes and did so in complete dependence upon God, being bold in prayer
and submitting in meekness to the divine hand. He participated whole-heartedly in
the community of God’s people, putting others interests above his own. He lived a
life of purity, integrity, wisdom, faithfulness and love in thought, word and deed.
He took delight in the things which God delighted in and expressed joy at the
Father’s goodness. He was likewise grieved by the things which grieved God. The
fallenness of the world (exemplified in sin, brokenness, poverty, oppression and
death) made him deeply sorrowful.
The portrait could be expanded, of course, but even this picture shows us his glory.
He lived a robust human life, and we are to be imitators of him in his humanity.
Where we are unlike him in any of these ways we are to become like him. “Your
attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus” (Phil. 2:5).
Part 4: Pastoral Care Biblical Change, 1

4.2
THE SOURCE OF CHANGE: GOD’S GRACE

1. God Changes Us by The Scriptures make it clear that salvation in its entirety is God’s gracious work.
Grace Salvation in all its parts– what has already happened and what has yet to happen– is
a gift. We don’t accomplish it or make it happen in the least. “God is the heart-
changer.” Sanctification (the ongoing work of making us holy) is just as much a
work accomplished by grace as is justification (the once for all act of making us right
with God). It is God who accomplishes the work from first to last. Jesus is both the
“author and finisher of our faith”. This leads us to the conclusion that this work of
changing us and transforming us is ultimately mysterious. God is always graciously
at work changing us according to his plan and timing. His work goes on even though
we may feel as though nothing is happening.
If we get this wrong, the consequences are disastrous. And yet many people go
wrong at just this point. They begin the Christian life on the basis that their
acceptance and entrance into a new status with God comes by grace and apart from
anything they do. But they believe that maintaining that standing is dependent upon
their own efforts. Becoming a Christian is up to God, remaining a Christian is up to
them. Paul strongly cautions us against this kind of thinking. He sees it as having
rejected the gospel (Gal. 3:3-5). At the very least, it means that we will not
experience a life of grace and joy.
Elsewhere Paul writes, “And we, who with unveiled faces all contemplate the Lord’s
glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which
comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit” (2 Cor. 3:18). Growth in the Christian life is
always growth by grace and under grace, never beyond grace. Lose sight of this and
living the Christian life becomes burdensome. Change takes place by grace through
faith!
2. God Enlists Our Though we do have a role to play, that role is carried out only because of the prior
Efforts in His Work Of working of God, and in dependence upon that fact. As Paul writes, “Work out your
Changing Us salvation with fear and trembling for it is God who works in you both to will and to
work for his good pleasure” (Phil. 2:12,13) We are called to work, but we are to
work out our salvation not for our salvation.
We have things to do, but God is in charge and is credited with producing the change
in our lives. Aware that God is the Author of our transformation, we are set free to
put forth the most strenuous effort imaginable. We do not have to be paralyzed by
the fear of failure, nor do we need to throw in the towel when we are discouraged by
the lack of progress. We are set free to skillfully apply the means of grace as we
depend upon God to ever more deeply change our hearts.
THE TOOL FOR CHANGE: SCRIPTURES

Change takes place in our lives only when the power of the Holy Spirit and
scriptural truth are together operating on our hearts. They help to expose our sin at
both the behavioral and the motivational level. They also offer us encouragement
and promises which we can use and depend upon in our battle to live faithfully.
Therefore, if we are to see people’s character transformed (including our own), we
will both pray for them and bring the Scriptures to bear on their lives. We will learn
how to understand the Scriptures and to apply them effectively. Unless we expose
our communities to the Bible and using it on our hearts to search us out, we will not
see life-change taking place.
Paul tells us that, “All scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking,
correcting and training in righteousness so that the man of God may be thoroughly
equipped for every good work” (2 Tim. 3:16). For centuries, Christians have

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believed that the Bible is sufficient to address our real questions, needs, concerns and
problems. Their very purpose is that we might understand and help people. In the
Scriptures God tells us all we need to know to live a full and effective life. They
“enlighten us about God, about ourselves, about good and evil, true and false, grace
and judgment, and about the world that surrounds us with its many forms of
suffering and beguilement” (Powlison).
Therefore, it is perilous to ignore its diagnosis and prescription for our condition. It
is equally perilous to substitute alternative understandings and cures of what is
wrong with us. When we turn to the Scriptures, with their penetrating insight into
this world, we find in its pages the wisdom necessary to understand our lives and our
problems in all their complexity.
THE BATTLEFIELD OF CHANGE: A REBELLIOUS HEART

What is wrong with us as human beings? People define the core problem differently
and therefore seek to bring about change in different ways. If our diagnosis is faulty,
our prescription will be faulty as well.
According to the Bible, our core problem is that we are in purposeful rebellion
against God. The spiritual battle is waged in our hearts before our actions. Our
problem is a heart problem (Luke 6:43ff). At the level of our motivations, we want to
serve ourselves rather than God. According to Romans 1, our chief problem is not
that our needs are unmet, but that we have wickedly turned away from God in our
hearts. We have been unwilling to glorify God and have rejected his lordship over us
(Romans 1:18f). However, being fundamentally religious creatures who are built to
worship, we must worship something. So we erect other objects of worship
(Rom.1:25). We ultimately become enslaved to these things and they wreak havoc
on our lives (Rom.1:26ff).
Another way of putting all of this is that our core problem is idolatry. We have
developed God-substitutes and have given ourselves over to worshipping them. This
central rebellion has led to the all the emotional, mental and behavioral problems
which we experience.
The process to bring about change in anyone’s life is turning from idolatries and
replacing them with belief in the gospel. This repentance/faith discipline is an
ongoing process of renewal that continues throughout the Christian life.
1. THE FIRST DISCIPLINE OF CHANGE: REPENTANCE (TURNING FROM IDOLS)

1. Idols and “Lusts of Idols are not merely crude material objects set upon pagan altars. Those objects were
the Flesh” symbols for what a particular god could provide for its worshippers. When we
understand that symbolism, we are understand the sophisticated business that idol-
making has become for us modern people. Idol worship is not something found only
among the naive and superstitious, but is characteristic of all human beings.
Our idols are those things we count on to give our lives meaning. They are the
things of which we say, “I need this to make me happy” or “If I don’t have this my
life is worthless and meaningless”. We say by implication, “Lord, it’s good to have
you, but there’s this other thing which I must have or my life is not happy or
meaningful. If I can’t have it I will despair. You are not enough. I need this too as a
requirement for being fulfilled. In fact, if you would take this from me, I’d turn my
back on you. For you are negotiable, but this is not! This is the real goal of my life.
If you are not useful to me in achieving it, I might turn on you.”
Idols are by no means limited to “one per person”. Calvin commented that the
human heart was an “idol-making factory”. We are sinfully ingenious at generating

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new idols and can easily find ourselves serving a number of them at the same time.
“An idol can be a physical object, a property, a person, an activity, a role, an
institution, a hope, an image, an idea, a pleasure, a hero” (Keyes). Believing that they
have the power to grant us happiness and fulfillment, we come under their mastery.
We hotly pursue them and wait for them to bestow their “blessings” upon us. They
come to control us. We feel we must have them and go to great strides to get them.
It is when we begin to speak of these things by saying “I must have it” that we
recognize the deep similarity between idols and what the Bible elsewhere calls the
“lust of the flesh.” Again we must be careful we don’t define this concept too
narrowly. “Lusts of the flesh” are more than bodily appetites, rather we should think
of them as “inordinate desires.” Many desires are legitimate in and of themselves,
though some are not. Powlison makes the following list: “Desires of the body
include life itself, air, health, water, food, clothing, shelter, sexual pleasure, rest and
exercise. Desires of the mind include happiness, being loved, meaning, money and
possessions, respect, status, accomplishment, self-esteem, success, control, power,
self-righteousness, aesthetic pleasure, knowledge, marriage and family.” The
problem is not with wanting many of these things, but with wanting them too much.
Our desires become inordinate. They come to rule us instead of God. We want them
more than we want to obey and please God. When they assume this place they go
from being things we want to lusts. They become idols.
So then, idolatry and lusts of the flesh are the “summary terms for what is wrong
with people in God’s eyes.” These terms enable us to explain “why” we do “what”
we do. They get at the motivation of human behavior. Idol worship leads to actions,
attitudes and thoughts which overtake us and dehumanize us. All of our harmful
behaviors and uncomfortable feelings– anger, worry, self-pity, etc.– can be explained
in terms of our lusts and idols (Luke 6:43ff).
To free ourselves from these problems will involve breaking the power of idols,
rooting them out of our lives, and coming under the mastery and control of God’s
love. When we stop worshipping our God-substitutes and give ourselves over to
worshipping God in Christ we will find our most destructive problems disappearing
and significant change taking place.
2. The Role of It is pretty common for people to suggest that their problems are due to the harm and
Suffering and mistreatment which they have received from others. What are we to make of this
Mistreatment claim?
First, people do get hurt by others. They have problems which arise from other
people’s sins and from living in a fallen world. People are hurt in ways that they do
not deserve. They are sinned against– sometimes in the most wicked of ways. It is
senseless to deny this. The world is certainly not the way it is supposed to be, and
people do not behave the way they are supposed to behave. People who have
suffered from the mistreatment of others deserve to be treated with compassion,
understanding and wise counsel. They need to be allowed to grieve the loss of what
might have been. They need to be set free to call evil, evil. They need to be
empowered to confront others when it is in order. They need to know that it is
appropriate to distrust those people who have betrayed their trust. They need to be
convinced that God is able to use evil for good.
Second, as significant as the mistreatment may be it does not excuse our behavior. It
is simply not true that we behave in a certain way because we did not get enough
love, were betrayed, were not given proper self-esteem, etc. Powlison writes, “Past
events do not cause a craving to be accepted by others any more than current events
cause that craving. The occasions of a lust are never its cause.” The sins of others
against us do not cause our behavior. This would remove our responsibility for our

4.2
actions and beliefs. We may be victims, but we must also accept blame for our
behavior. It is perfectly appropriate to say it was wrong for a person to treat us the
way they did. However, it is inappropriate to say their treatment of us forced us to
behave in a certain way or caused us to have particular inordinate desires. Again
Powlison writes, “There is no reason why a person serves a particular lust rather than
God; sin is irrational and insane.” Though we should do all that we can to prevent
people from experiencing suffering, the individual is still responsible for handling
their sufferings in a way that is faithful to God.
Our afflictions may be the context of our behavior and might create tendencies
toward certain behaviors. God may even take them significantly into account when
he judges our attitudes and actions. But denying responsibility for our attitudes and
actions is something which we may not legitimately do. We are, therefore,
simultaneously victims and guilty, sinned-against and sinners.
3. Repenting of Our Repentance and mortification, the classic terms for overcoming sinful habits, are acts
Idolatries which are not well understood by our contemporary culture. However, they are
essential if we are to effectively address our problems and find ourselves changed.
Repentance can be defined as turning from sin, while mortification can be defined as
putting sin to death. Repentance and mortification must take place at both the
behavioral level and at the motivational level. In working on our selves and on others
we must address both the “works of the flesh” and the “lusts of the flesh”, the
external and the internal.
The acts of repentance and mortification of sin involve the following:
1. Regular self-examination. We must not only repent of sin generally. We must do
so specifically. This requires taking a look at your thoughts and actions at the end
of the day and determining specific ways in which you have failed to live a God-
pleasing life. A helpful resource to this end is John Baillie’s, A Diary of Private
Prayer, which provides guides for morning and evening prayer with the latter
focusing on self-examination.
2. Identifying idols of the heart which underlie specific behaviors. If we are to
engage in effective repentance for our idolatries it is important that we be able to
identify them. However, one need not and should not go on introspective “idol
hunts.” Instead specific occasions of sin offer an opportunity to reflect on the
specific cravings or inordinate desires that rule the heart. For instance, an
outburst of anger could have arisen because you demanded the peace of not being
interrupted, because you demanded that things go smoothly, or because you
demanded respect, etc. It is important to try to assess what ruling desires are
taking the place of our desire to please God. Only then can our repentance and
mortification be effective.
You might uncover some of your idols by asking the following diagnostic
questions:
If you are angry ask, “Is there something too important to me? Something I
am telling myself I have to have? Is that why I am angry– because I am being
blocked from having something I think is a necessity when it is not?”
If you are fearful or badly worried ask, “Is there something too important to
me? Something I am telling myself I have to have? Is that why I am so scared
-- because something is being threatened which I think is a necessity when it
is not?”
If you are despondent or hating yourself ask, “Is there something too
important to me? Something I have to have? Is that why I am so “down”–
because I have lost or failed at something which I think is a necessity which
is not?”
3. Consider the horror of your sins and idols. We must come to see the ugliness of

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our sins and ruling desires. As one writer has said, “repentance is not a wringing
of the hands or a hanging of the head but a working of the heart until the sin
becomes more odious to us than any consequence could be.” We must strive to
see the guilt of our sin (Christ was put to death for it. Don’t dare say, “its not so
bad!”), the danger of our sin (if you don’t deal with them you will become
hardened in them, you will become nearly impossible to change, and they will
bring ruin into your life), and the evil of sin (sin grieves the Holy Spirit and foils
the love of Christ. Jesus is wounded afresh by our sin).
John Owen suggests that we “look to him whom we have pierced and be in
bitterness. Say to your soul, ‘What have I done? What love, what blood, what
grace have I despised and trampled on? Is this the return I make to the Father for
His love, to the Son for His shed blood, to the Holy Spirit for His grace: Is this
how I requite the Lord: Have I defiled the heart that Christ died to wash, that the
blessed Spirit has chosen to dwell in? What then can I say to my dear Lord
Jesus? Do I account communion with Him of so little value?...I have despised
love, mercy, grace, goodness, peace, joy consolation. I have despised them all as
a thing of naught that I might persist in sin.’
4. Put your sins and idols to death. We sometime think of human nature as being
like a “pressure cooker”. Sometimes the urge to sin gets so great that we feel like
we have to blow off some steam to be healthy. After we have “sinned a little” we
can go back to pleasing God. However, the biblical view of human nature is
better likened to a house with mice in the walls. If you are going to get rid of the
mice, you don’t feed them a little in hopes that by being nice to them they will go
away. Instead, you starve them. You don’t leave anything around for them to
feed on. We are to be ruthless with sin in our life in the same way. We are to
know that situations which are especially tempting for us and avoid them. We
should forecast our day and be aware of when occasions might arise where we
are prone to fall and prepare ourselves for them. We are also to “resist sin to the
point of shedding blood” (Heb. 12). To treat sin lightly or casually is to make
yourself its ongoing victim.
5. Put on those actions and attitudes which are part of a God-pleasing life. It is not
enough to stop sinful behaviors. We must also be engaging in the corresponding
positive behaviors. For example, if a “love for money” had led us to steal, we
must not only stop stealing, but also be generous towards others. (See Eph. 4:25-
32)
All the above ought to lead one to the conclusion that repentance is far more than
saying “I’m sorry!” It can be a slow and painstaking process. However,
ultimately it brings life!
4. Repentance in Light As we move on to talking abut the discipline of faith, it is important to be aware that
of the Gospel repentance and faith are two-sides of the same coin. Biblical repentance always
involves believing the gospel. Therefore, our repentance is always believing
repentance, and our believing is always repentant faith. Repentance always involves
turning from idols to Christ as Savior. Repentance which does not flow out of and
lead to faith in Christ is not biblical repentance at all. It is only another work carried
out in order to gain merit before God.
2. THE SECOND DISCIPLINE: FAITH (BELIEVING THE GOSPEL)

1. The Centrality of the In the letter to the Colossians, Paul wrote, “All over the world this gospel is bearing
Gospel for Change fruit and growing, just as it has been doing among you since the day you heard it and
understood God’s grace in all its truth.” The language shows that we do not simply
learn the gospel when we are converted and then move on from there. Instead,
ongoing change also takes place by the gospel. It is only as we grow in our
understanding of the gospel in all its vast implications and applications that we find

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our lives bearing fruit. We never grow beyond the gospel. It is what need to hear and
understand to become a Christian. It is also what we need to hear and understand in
order to grow as a Christian. It is the power of God for salvation (Rom. 1:18) and not
just for the initiation of salvation, but for its completion as well. The gospel’s power
is experienced as it is more profoundly believed and appropriated. Many of our
problems arise from our failure to understand and apply the gospel. The key to
continual and deeper spiritual renewal is the continual rediscovery of the never-
ending depths of the gospel.
2. What is the Gospel? The gospel is this: “God made him (Christ), who had no sin to be sin for us, so that
in him we might become the righteousness of God” (2 Cor. 5:21). We are so sinful,
lost and helpless, that only the life and death of the Son of God can save us. But it
also says that those who believe in his life and death are now “holy in his sight,
without blemish and free from accusation” (Col. 1:22,23). Another way of putting
the gospel is: you are more sinful and flawed than you ever dared believe yet you are
more accepted and loved than you ever dared hope at the same time because Jesus
Christ lived and died in your place. The gospel (as Luther wrote) means we are simul
justus et peccator– both sinful and righteous simultaneously. When we realize we
are still sinners, it humbles us and makes us recognize our limitations. When we
realize we are, nevertheless, dearly loved children and holy in his sight on account of
Christ, it exalts us and gives us confidence.
This acceptance which gospel brings is not merely a new standing with God;
acceptance entails an indwelling. God does not accept us and yet keep his distance
from us. It is not an acceptance granted grudgingly. The gospel message is that
Christ, by His Spirit, lives in us. He is our constant companion whose power is at
work within us. The good news is that we are given the gift of radical acceptance
and radical indwelling. This is possible by Christ’s work alone.
3. The Gospel Gives When the gospel is really understood it manifests itself in three crucial ways:
Us New Abilities for 1. The gospel enables us to repent of our righteousness. While most people are
Change willing to admit and repent of their sins, the Christian is a person who also
repents of his/her righteousness. The Christian sees that his or her righteous acts
are not only insufficient to make them right with God, but are often sinful
themselves. Why? They were performed in order to save himself or herself apart
from Christ. The Christian rests solely on the finished work of Christ “plus
nothing” for salvation. The Christian understands that it is our “good works” as
much as our sin which comes between God and ourselves.
2. The gospel enables us to admit the depth of our wickedness. The Christian knows
that he or she is far more sinful than he or she is aware of. There is always new
depths of ugliness in our hearts to be uncovered. Because the Christian is
confident of Christ’s acceptance, he or she does not have try and cover up how
bad things are. He or she can be honest about the idols and inordinate passions
which at times dominate his or her heart. This enables the Christian to work on
his or her flaws and should also create a unique humility and lack of
defensiveness.
3. The gospel ends our attempts at self-salvation. Prior to embracing the gospel,
people live without depending upon God and as if they do not need God. This
can be done either through irreligion or religion. Irreligious people seek to be
their own saviors and lords through irreligion– “worldly pride.” (No one tells me
how to live or what to do. I determine what is right and wrong for me!”) Moral
and religious people seek to be their own savior and lords through religion–
“religious pride.” (“I am more moral and spiritual than other people, so God
owes me!”) Thus moral-religious people may be characterized by intense
arrogance and pride, or they may be extremely penitent and sorry for their sins.
But even in their confession, they see sins as simply the failure to live up to

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standards by which they are saving themselves. They go to Jesus for

forgiveness– but only as a way to cover over the gaps in their project of self-
salvation. Primarily, they reject God’s grace and insist that they be worthy of his
favor. The important thing is to see that both religious and irreligious people are
seeking to be their own saviors and lords. Both are engaged in projects of self-
salvation.
Christians are those who have adopted a whole new system of approach to God.
They may have had both religious and irreligious phases in their lives. They have
come to see that their entire reason for both their religion and irreligion was
essentially the same and essentially wrong! Christians come to see that both their
sins and their best deeds have all really been ways of avoiding Jesus as Savior. They
come to see that Christianity is not fundamentally an invitation to get more religious.
A Christian comes to say: “Though I have often failed to obey moral law, the deeper
problem was why I was trying to obey it! Even my efforts to obey it has been just a
way of seeking to be my own savior. In that mindset, even if I obey or ask for
forgiveness, I am really resisting the gospel and setting myself up as savior.” To “get
the gospel” is to turn from self-justification and rely on Jesus’ record for a
relationship with God.
4. The Gospel Gives The central place which God changes us is at the level of the motivations of the
Us New Motives for heart. A new lifestyle flows from a heart renewed in its love for God (Luke 6:43ff).
Change Significant behavioral change flows from significant motivational change. We,
therefore, should expect to grow in the area of our motives as we progress in the
Christian life. The following motives should characterize the Christian:
1. Love for Christ. In 2 Corinthians 5:14-15, Paul writes, “For Christ’s love
compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all and therefore all died.
And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but
for him who died for them and was raised again.” The fundamental change which
the gospel makes in us is to restore our love and worship of God. (God rules and
has lordship over us rather than idols). Having experienced the love of Christ
poured out upon us, we find our hearts transformed so that now we love him in
return. It is this new affection for Christ which becomes the wellspring for our
obedience. We strive to love the Lord our God with all our heart and soul and
strength and mind. We desire to please him. We do so not in order to be
accepted, but because we have been accepted. Obedience is not the condition
for salvation, but the consequence of salvation
This new motive corresponds to the fundamental change from worshipping idols
to worshipping God. It is also the central motivation we must cultivate. We must
nurture our affection for Christ. John Owen put it like this: “We need to keep our
hearts full of a sense of the love of God. That is the greatest preservative
available to us against the power of temptation in the world...When the love of
Christ constrains us to live for him, then we can withstand temptation. Therefore,
fill your heart with a sense of the love of God in Christ, and apply the eternal
design of His grace and shed blood to yourselves. Accept all the privileges of
adoption, justification and acceptance with God. Fill your heart with thoughts of
the beauty of holiness, as designed by God and made effective by his death.”
2. Gratitude for grace given. A second motivation the Scriptures offer for
obedience is a spirit of gratitude. Thankful for God’s act of saving us, we express
our appreciation through a life which is pleasing to him. We live for him not in
order to be loved, but because we are loved. “Therefore, I urge you, in view of
God’s mercy to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice to God” (Rom. 12:1). The
Christian life is a joyful response to what God has done for us and what he
promises to do for us. Appreciation for what has been done for us regularly gives
us a desire to honor God in return. “How shall I repay the Lord for all the good
he has done to me?” We obey God not out of a spirit of fear, but out of a spirit of

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thankfulness.
3. Desiring to grow into what God has already made us. Another motivating factor
for obedience, according to Paul, is that it is the logical outworking of God’s
redemptive work. Through Christ’s work, God has made us his children and has
overthrown sin. We are to live in keeping with what God has done. To continue
to live in sin after we “have been freed from sin and enslaved to God” is
completely illogical. It is to work at cross-purposes with God. If the very purpose
of salvation is to make us like Jesus in his humanity, then to live opposite of the
way he lived makes no sense. This is the logic which is behind statements like
these: “Count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Jesus Christ. Therefore,
do not let sin reign in your mortal bodies so that you obey its evil desires”(Rom.
6:11,12). “You were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as
children of light” (Eph.5:8). The imperatives arise out of the indicatives. As
Richard Hays says, “Insofar as we perceive the truth about God’s redemptive
work in the world, we will participate gladly in the outworking of God’s purpose;
conversely, if we fail to act in a way consonant with God’s will, we are living in
a state of contradiction: we are failing to understand what is going on about us.”
Again we see that obedience is a consequence of salvation, not its condition.
4. Future Hope. We are free to live godly lives in spite of the apparent cost to us
when we contemplate the eternal glory that is promised. Dying to self, giving up
idols and lusts, is easier in the context of eternity. Sin’s delight is insignificant
and fleeting compared to the heavenly joys set before us.
5. The Promise of Coming Judgment. Though it takes a back seat to the other
motivating factors, the Biblical writers sometimes appeal to the coming judgment
as the warrant for our obedience and the change of our character. So Paul writes,
“We make it our goal to please him whether we are at home in the body or away
from it. For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one
may receive what is due him for the things done while in the body, whether good
or bad” (2 Cor. 5:9,10). A secondary means an appeal to judgment has its place.
It can break us out of our complacency and unmask our presumption.
5. Preaching the If we are to change we must be regularly preaching the gospel to ourselves and
Gospel to Ourselves believing it. We must be continually showing ourselves, and those we counsel, the
depths and greatness of God’s love for them. We must stop wasting our time trying
to convince ourselves that we are lovable, and instead rest in the glorious fact that we
are loved. It is this message which God uses to change us at the motivational level.
We must also be preaching to ourselves the promises of God which are part of the
gospel: He has broken the power of our flesh so that our inordinate desires no longer
have to have their way. He has made it possible to change what the heart really
wants. Indeed, God is in the process of bringing us to the place where we want Him
and His pleasure more than we want our own pleasure. We must know what God has
made possible in Christ. We need to know that he is for us and wants us to succeed.
We need to take to heart the reality that he dwells within us, is working by his
mighty power, and will provide for us what we need in order to please him. We need
to be regularly preaching these truths to ourselves and living in prayerful dependence
upon them.
THE CONTEXT FOR CHANGE: THE WORSHIPPING COMMUNITY

1. The Importance of Worshipping God enables us to see the beauty of God and the beauty of godliness.
Worship in the Process When we worship we find that our love for God deepens and the hold that other
of Change things have on us loosen. When we worship we find that it changes what we want:
we want God and we want to please him more than we want and desire other things.
Regularly worshipping God with the larger church, in small groups and on a daily
basis as an individual is indispensable if our lives are to change. Redeemer’s weekly

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worship service booklet is a great tool for helping to cultivate this habit.
2. The Necessity Of The Christian community provides a context where others can remind us of the
Involvement in the gospel and give us support for the enduring battle of smashing our idols and
Christian Community becoming followers of Christ with undivided hearts. It also provides a context in
which our sin and idolatry can be exposed and where others can “speak the truth in
love” to us. Involvement in a rich network of Christian relationships is similarly
indispensable to producing changed lives. In fact, the quality of one’s relationships
within the Christian community is a key indicator of a person’s spiritual maturity.
THE PROGRESS OF CHANGE

The Christian life is described by J.I. Packer as “a long convalescence, easily
disrupted.” People who are keen observers of their own lives and the lives of others
will find that to be a realistic, accurate assessment. We are not encouraged to expect
quick fixes. Though God will occasionally deliver us immediately from a habit
which has vexed us for years, we can expect a lifelong battle in which change takes
place incrementally. Often progress will be experienced as “two steps forward, one
step back.” We should not expect that the war will cease. For as Paul writes, “Live
by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the flesh desires
what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in
conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want.” (Gal.5:16-17). This
battle is held forth as the normative experience of the Christian life. Therefore,
endurance is required. We are called to persevere over the years as we fight this
battle. It is important to understand this so that we do not get frustrated and throw in
the towel.
J.I. Packer sums up the process of change and growth like this:
“Though the Christian life requires intense activity, it is not in the least self-
reliant. Instead it follows this four stage sequence. First, as one who wants to
do all the good you can, you observe what tasks, opportunities and
responsibilities face you. Second, you pray for help in these, acknowledging that
without Christ you can do nothing – nothing fruitful that is. Third, you go to
work with a good will and a high heart, expecting to be helped as you asked to
be. Fourth, you thank God for the help given, ask pardon for you own failures
en route, and request more help for the next task. Biblical holiness is hard-
working holiness, based on endless repetitions of this sequence.”
Equipped with the above understanding of how change takes place, a shepherd will
be in position to pursue change in his or her own life, to help other group members
pursue change in their lives, and pursue change in the group as a whole.
ADDITIONAL READING
Powlison, David, “How Shall we Cure our Troubled Souls?” in The Coming
Evangelical Crisis, edited by John H. Armstrong. Moody Press, 1996
______ . “Idols of the Heart and ‘Vanity Fair.’” The Journal of Biblical Counseling
13, No. 2 (Winter 1995).
Keller, Timothy J., School of Servant Leadership: Part I: The Gospel and the Heart,
Redeemer Presbyterian Church, 1996

4.3
Diagnosing Spiritual Conditions

As a Shepherd, you will encounter a wide variety of people who are at different
stages in their Christian (or pre-Christian) walk. The Puritans and others often saw
shepherding as being a “soul physician”. Like any physician, a wise diagnosis is
critical to offering the best help. You don’t remove someone’s appendix because
they stubbed their toe; you don’t just give aspirin to someone with advanced cancer.
The following charts may help you diagnose what place a person is at spiritually.
You can then help them mature in an appropriate way. For more detailed help on
each of these stages, see the appropriate chapter in Section Four. One word of
caution, however: good spiritual diagnosis, like good doctoring, is as much an art as
a science. Avoid overanalyzing people, particularly if you are not very experienced
at it.
DIAGNOSING NON-CHRISTIANS
NC-A. Conscious Aware he is not a Christian. Varieties:
Unbeliever 1. Immoral pagan –Living a blatantly immoral/illegal lifestyle.
2. Intellectual pagan –Claiming the faith is untenable or unreasonable. a. Imitative
pagan -Is fashionably skeptical, but not profound. b. Genuine thinker -Has
serious, well-conceived objections.
3. Religious Non-Christian -Belonging to organized religions, cults, or
denominations with seriously mistaken doctrine.
NC-B. Non-Churched Has knowledge or belief in some basic Christian doctrines, but with no or only a
Nominal Christian remote church connection.
NC-C. Churched Participates in church but is not regenerated. Varieties:
Nominal Christian 1. Semi-active moralist -Respectably moral whose religion is without assurance and
is all a matter of duty.
2. Actively self-righteous -Very committed and involved in the church, with
assurance of salvation based on good works.
NC-D. Awakened Stirred and convicted over his sin but without gospel peace yet.
Sinner
NC-E. Apostate Once devoted and active in the church but who has repudiated the faith without
regrets.
DIAGNOSING CHRISTIANS - MATURING DISCIPLES

MD-A. New Believer Recently converted.
1. Doubtful -Has many fears and hesitancies about his new faith.
2. Eager -Beginning with joy and confidence and a zeal to learn and serve.
3. Overzealous -Has become somewhat proud and judgmental of others, and is
overconfident of his own abilities.
MD-B. Mature/growing Passes through nearly all of the basic conditions named below, but progresses
through them because he responds quickly to shepherd's treatment or he knows how
to treat himself.
Part 4: Pastoral Care Diagnosing Spiritual Conditions, 1

4.3
DIAGNOSING CHRISTIANS - DISCIPLES WITH SPIRITUAL PATHOLOGIES

SP-A. Tempted Struggling with a sin or sins which are remaining attractive and strong.
1. Overtaken -Tempted largely in the realm of the thoughts and desires.
2. Taken over -A sin has become addictive behavior.
SP-B. Afflicted Lives under a burden or trouble that saps spiritual strength. (Generally, we call a
person afflicted who has not brought the trouble on himself.) Varieties:
1. Physically afflicted -Experiencing bodily decay
a. the sick, b. the elderly, c. the disabled
2. Dying
3. Grieving -Major loss, death of loved one, divorce, economic disaster,
miscarriage, etc.
4. Lonely
5. Persecuted/Abused
6. Desertion -Spiritually dry through the action of God who removes a sense of his
nearness despite the use of the means of grace.
SP-C. Immature A spiritual baby, who should be growing, but who is not.
1. Undisciplined -Simply remiss in using the means of grace and in using gifts for
ministry
2. Self-satisfied -Pride has choked growth, complacency and he has become
perhaps cynical and scornful of many other Christians.
3. Unbalanced - The intellectual, the emotional, or the volitional aspect of his faith
has become overemphasized.
4. Devotee of eccentric doctrines -Has become absorbed in a distorted teaching that
hurts spiritual growth.
5. Overfed/underworked - A lack of gift-use, a lack of ministry.
SP-D. Depressed Is not only experiencing negative feelings, but is also shirking Christian duties and
being disobedient. (Note: If a person is a new believer, or tempted, or afflicted, or
immature, and does not get proper treatment, he will become spiritually depressed.
Besides these conditions, the following problems can lead to depression.)
1. Anxious -Through worry or fear handled improperly is depressed.
2. Weary -Has become listless and dry through overwork.
3. Angry -Through bitterness or uncontrolled anger handled improperly is
depressed.
4. Introspective -Dwells on failures and feelings and lacks assurance.
5. Guilty -A conscience which is wounded and repentance has not been reached.
6. Impatience - Severe unhappiness over lack of growth in life or over God's
ordering of the life.
SP-E. Backslidden Has gone beyond depression to a withdrawal from fellowship with God and with the
church.
1. Tender - Is still easily convicted of his sins, and susceptible to calls for
repentance.
2. Hardening -Has become cynical, scornful, and difficult to convict.
SP-F. Physical If we don't keep a balance between rest and exercise, if we don't keep a decent diet,
Imbalances if there is some other physical problem, the unity of the human nature is such that it
affects us spiritually as well. I think what people call "psychological" problems are
often either physiological problems or more complex spiritual problems or a
combination of the two.

4.3
SUMMARY DIAGNOSIS PRINCIPLES FOR SPIRITUAL PATHOLOGIES

"Why art thou cast down, O my soul, and why art thou disquieted within me? Hope
thou in God, for I shall again praise him...." Psalm 42:1-11
The word "disquiet" used by the Psalmist in v. 5 and 11 means "to roar, to be in
tumult". Because our hearts contain remaining sin in them until we get to eternity, it
is inevitable that the inherent viruses of sin will, under many conditions, "break out"
into symptoms and forms of spiritual "disquiet" or "tumult". The spiritual sicknesses
may be experienced as spiritual dryness, lifelessness, doubt, confusion, guilt, and so
on.
How can we diagnose and understand these spiritual pathologies, so we can return
the person to spiritual health? It’s helpful to remember that the external symptoms of
spiritual problems flow from internal, heart problems. Good shepherds, soul doctors,
use the external symptoms to discover the real problems. It’s not helpful to cover up
a spiritual issue by simply making a person “feel better.” Instead, use the symptoms
of disquiet to help the person make lasting, gospel-centered change.
At the core, we experience spiritual pathologies when the Gospel (in all its fullness)
is misunderstood or forgotten. We tend to fall off on one side of the gospel or the
other and lead imbalanced lives, we weaken our assurance of salvation, resulting in
spiritual pathologies. If the gospel is “You are far more sinful than you ever dared
imagine, yet in Christ you are far more loved than you ever dared hope,” we see that
there are two basic kinds of spiritual "sicknesses": temptation and accusation.
In temptation, the holiness of God (the first half of the Gospel) is forgotten. This
leads to a weak view of sin. In accusation, the grace of God (the second half of the
Gospel) is forgotten. This leads to a weak view of mercy. The libertine on the one
hand and the legalist on the other both experience spiritual difficulties.
As you help people spiritually, you will grow in your discernment of these two
imbalances. You may also find this spiritual “one-two punch” at work: for many, a
period of spiritual temptation leads to guilt and feelings of accusation. This despair
leads the person to “give up” and fall back into temptation. On the cycle continues.
Note on Affliction: People who experience afflictions and difficulties in life are not
in a third category. Their affliction simply becomes the circumstance that will draw
out one or the other of these problems. Difficulties will either tempt us or discourage
us. When you help people in the midst of trials, remain sensitive to their spiritual
reactions to their trial. They will only grow in their difficulty if they are able to
become more Christ-like in the midst of the affliction.
See the chapters on Shepherding People in Temptation, Accusation, and Affliction
later in section four.
The following chart lists the symptoms, underlying problems, and basic remedies for
these two pathologies:

4.3
DIAGNOSING THE TWO CORE SPIRITUAL PATHOLOGIES
“STATE OF SPIRITUAL “STATE OF SPIRITUAL

TEMPTATION” ACCUSATION”
Source Our hearts tempt us (James 1:14) Our hearts condemn us (I John 3:20)
Satan tempts us (I Thess 3:5) Satan accuses us (Rev 12:16)
Error Too light a view of one's sin; Too light a view of grace; Too light a
Too light a view of God's holiness view of God's love
Gospel Half Forgotten We are too sinful and weak to ever God accepts believing sinners as if we
please a righteous and holy God or to had done all Jesus had done and paid all
solve our own problems Jesus had paid.
Circumstances Lured into through successes. Lured into through failures. Inferiority
Superiority complex/pride. complex/pride.
Outward Symptoms Presumption. Taking God's law lightly; Guilt. Taking God's imputed
self-actualizing tendencies. A resentment righteousness lightly. A denial of the
of God's claims and sovereignty. Feeling necessity of complete, total reliance on
I can't be free if God is totally to be grace. Feeling I can't be worthy if
obeyed. salvation is totally gratis
View of Spiritual Slothfulness. Lacking conviction of sin. Drivenness. Lacking conviction of
Discipline Lack of use of means of grace out of imputed righteousness. Lack of use of
resentment. means of grace out of guilt or
discouragement.
Root Sin Pride (expressed in unbelief of God's Pride (expressed in unbelief of God's
goodness. "If I obey him totally I will be goodness. "I can't believe he will accept
unhappy.") Idols of power and comfort. I me as is.") Idols of approval and control.
will be OK if I can beat the competition I will be OK if I am loved and live up to
and get comfortable. all my standards.
Effect on Conscience Conscience silent or numb. Conscience Conscience roaring, over-sensitive.
hardness. Conscience inflammation.
Spiritual Result Loss of assurance by violating Loss of assurance by denial of grace.
conscience.
Remedy Convince those who think not under the Convince those who think are under
power of sin that they really are. control of sin that they really aren't.
Spiritual Truth Needed Show them the real sin under the sin to Show them the real sin under the sin to
repent of: a denial of God's goodness--a repent of: a denial of God's goodness--a
mistrust of his love. Character mistrust of his love. Character
assassination. assassination.
The "One-Two punch!" First tempt, then accuse. Repentance is easy; repentance is too hard. God will forgive
easily; God will never forgive. Then tempt more and more because accused.

4.3
CONNECTING PEOPLE WITH WHAT THEY NEED

Upon the basis of diagnosis, the shepherd provides help and treatment in two basic
ways:
Getting help The shepherd calls on the resources of the congregation to meet all the needs of the
person. For example, if it is a lonely elderly person, she may need leaf raking done
by a teenager, friendship provided by other women in the church, and so on. If it is a
new Jewish believer struggling with attitudes of relatives, he may need to be
connected to a long-time Jewish believer. If it is a person with problems that need
counseling, get him to one. And so on!
The shepherd may use the resources of the Word and the Spirit to deal with the
Giving help
spiritual condition discovered. There are six basic approaches:
1. Evangelizing: for the classes of non-Christians.
2. Discipling (concentrated training in the use of the means of grace): especially for
New Believers but for all.
3. Comforting (encouraging and strengthening): for the tempted, the afflicted, the
depressed.
4. Renewing (motivating and challenging the lethargic and stagnant): for the
immature, cynical, etc.
5. Admonishing (warning and urging): for the tempted, the immature, the
depressed, the backslidden.
6. Counseling (more intense dealing with a particular problem; advice-giving or
guidance for decision-making): possible for any of the classes of conditions.
OCCASIONS (NOT CAUSES) OF SPIRITUAL PATHOLOGIES

Spiritual Pathologies and Spiritual Dryness may have one or all of these causes, but
dryness will not become spiritual depression without unbelief. “Hope in God, for I
shall praise him!”
Undernourishment Lack of truth! Comes in four ways. Picture a wheel with spokes going down the
road. The parts of the wheel (the hub, the spokes, the rim, the speed) work together
to make the wheel move.
2. The hub of the wheel: A Deep Understanding of the Gospel

a. Repentance: Identifying the idols of the heart. This refers not so much to
behavioral sins, but setting the heart against those false "righteousness" or
idols that are our heart's particular "pseudosalvations"– ways we think that
will bring us security, self-esteem, wisdom, and power. It is then withering
them under the light of God's love, taking them to the cross until they lose
their attractive power over us.
b. Faith: Finding your identity in Christ. This refers to filling the mind with,
reflecting on, and acting in accord with what you are in Christ. A son. A
temple of the Holy Spirit. Accepted in the beloved. A king seated and
reigning. It is warming ourselves at the fire of our privileges in Christ instead
of stealing self-acceptance from other sources. Jesus died for me.
This is a cycle. Repentance makes our enjoyment of Christ deeper, since, as
we see more of our sin, we appreciate the magnitude of God's grace more. On
the other hand, enjoyment of Christ makes us more able to repent, since it is
only as our conscience is infused with our acceptance and our free
justification that we will have the security and confidence to even admit and
acknowledge our sin.

4.3
2. The spokes of the wheel: The Means of Grace

a. Hearing the Word.
b. Prayer/worship.
c. Fellowship/community.
d. Ministry/service.
3. The rim of the wheel: Obedience

Christian life-style and character.
4. The speed of the wheel: Rate of Growth in the Christian life
Different people have natural growth rates and people grow

at different speeds during different periods of their Christian
life.
Suffering/affliction Suffering will tempt you (make you angry at God.)

Suffering will accuse you (make you depressed. What did I do to deserve this?)
This one is the cause of the Psalmist's dryness in Psalm 42:1-11. He's been carried
away from friends and land (v.6), and he is being persecuted (v.3, 10). A major
problem or trial or suffering will usually make it hard to experience the peace of God
anyway. But sometimes misunderstanding or mishandling of affliction can lead to
real dryness. If we simply "grin and bear" the affliction we may get depressed. We
need to see the trial as a way to strengthen some part of your life that needs
strengthening.
Purposelessness We all are meant to have meaning in life by making impact. We need significance,
by knowing we are accomplishing something. A lack of gift-use, a lack of ministry
can cause spiritual dryness.
Physical causes If we don't keep a balance between rest and exercise, if we don't keep a decent diet,
if there is some other physical problem, the unity of the human nature is such that it
affects us spiritually as well. Spiritual pathologies can also be connected to more
severe mental disorders or chemical imbalances. (See Ed Welsh’s book on Brain
Disorders).
Desertion There is such a thing as God removing some sense of his presence in order to teach
us discipline and obedience for his own sake. For example: The tree in the garden of
Eden had no "magic" qualities. It was just a symbol of pure obedience. Desertion is
not abandonment; however, God never Leaves his children. (Newton, Bridge,
Brooks).

4.4
Personal Evangelism
THE MODERN CLIMATE AND EVANGELISM
The Early Church's In the first three centuries AD, the church's job of evangelism was five-fold:
Mission
1. To answer the false rumors and stereotypes of Christianity that spread. To make
it a valid option. (Early Christians were accused of being bad citizens and
suspected of being cannibals because of the language of the Lord's Supper!)
2. To persuade of the relevance and advantages of Christianity to personal life and
society, to make it compelling.
3. To inform of the basic facts about Jesus' person, work, teaching, claims and
offers, to make it clear.
4. To convince of the credibility and validity of the truth claims of Christianity, to
make it coherent.
5. To invite to receive Christ and become completely committed followers, to make
it challenging.
Sum: Defense– Relevance– Content– Credibility– Commitment
The Modern Church's By the Middle Ages and through the beginning of the 20th century, Christianity was
Mission so much in place at the very center of Western (U.S. and European) culture,
education and thinking that every person growing up in the West knew about the
basics of the faith, the essential importance and credibility of it. All the church had to
do was to review the third job (the basic facts) and do the fifth job– invite to personal
commitment. Today, secularization is so advanced that now no longer have the
luxury of beginning at point five! Yet many churches and Christians continue to do
so!
Sum: Our mission today goes this way:
Basic Stages Accomplishes
A. Building Bridges Earns the trust

Persuades Christianity’s relevance
B. Sharing the Faith Informs the basic facts
Convinces the person of its credibility
C. Helping to Commitment Invites the person to receive Christ
A BASIC APPROACH TO PERSONAL EVANGELISM

A. Building Bridges Developing redemptive relationships of active listening, service, authenticity,
consistency on create openness to the message of the gospel.
1. Earning trust.
a. Establishing the relevance of the faith through your life.
(1) A life of listening and service.
(2) A life of authenticity and consistency.
b. Establishing the relevance of the faith through the church.
2. Arousing interest in Christianity. Use questions:
 "Do you ever ask yourself what you are really getting out of life?"
 "Do you ever ask yourself– what's the bottom line, what am I really doing all
Part 4: Pastoral Care Personal Evangelism, 1

4.4
this for?"
 "If you think of faith as crossing a line– where are you? Approaching it?
Right at it? Over it? What would you need to cross it?"
 "Yes, a lot of these people are very far from true Christianity; the real thing is
world's apart from that behavior. Since I learned the difference, those same
people mystify me." (Often leads to– "what do you mean 'the real thing'?")
 "What does Jesus mean to you?"
3. Identifying positions and obstacles
A general question:
“Why don’t you embrace Christianity? I'm curious." This surfaces
issues that can be explored.
A set of specific questions:
Put down the following four viewpoints on paper and ask:
"Where are you with Christianity? Are you–
a) Dissatisfied with it– do you find Christianity or aspects very
unacceptable, distasteful? What is your trouble with Christianity?
Where's your beef?
b) Indifferent to it– do you find Christianity simply unappetizing or not very
relevant to you? Where does Christianity fail to challenge you? What would be
relevant to you?
c) Cautiously interested– are you in a learning mode, interested, gathering
information? What still does not make sense to you? What doesn't seem
credible to you?
d) Actively seeking– are you really searching for Christ? if so what is
blocking you or holding you back? Is there anything about becoming or being
a Christian that worries you?
This set of questions identifies personal objections (a), then relevance issues
(b), credibility and content issues (c), and finally cost or commitment issues
(d). You must listen very carefully and very openly. Write down each
problem and then get a willingness to meet and address the questions. The
best way to do so is to 1) give the person some reading material and ask to
underline, and 2) prepare your own.
4. Choose a theme of relevance in sharing the gospel. (Transition)
 Would you like to know God personally? God designed us to know him
personally. Our sin and guilt are barriers to that relationship. Jesus Christ's
death opens the way, etc. See 2nd edition of Campus Crusade's " Four
Spiritual Laws"
 Why don't we find we are really getting satisfaction out of life? God
designed us for himself. Our sin leads us to worship the wrong things, which
leads to lack of self-worth and emptiness. Through Jesus Christ's work we
can know God's total love and presence which alone fulfills. See C.S. Lewis,
Mere Christianity on "Hope"; see Redeemer brochure "What Does it Mean to
Know God?"
 What hope do we have for justice and triumph of good? If there is a divine
judge, then there is hope for the world, but it makes us anxious and guilty; if
there is no judge, then we are free, but then we must live with a hopeless
world. Jesus Christ is the judge who was judged, so he can be both judge and

4.4
savior of those who believe. See Pascal's Pensees on "The Folly of

Indifference"
 Meaning: what are you living for, why try?
 Right and wrong: what's your basis?
 Strength/power: how do you get the energy to keep on?
 Guilt: how do you deal with your conscience?
 Death: how do you face it? (These last two are less important for secular
people.)
B. Sharing the Faith 1. Establishing the content of the faith.

a. The shape or presentation of the content will be determined by the
approach (seeabove). But the basics "ABCD's" are these (based on Michael
Green, Evangelism Through the Local Church (Thomas Nelson):
1) There is something to Admit. We have the "soul disease" of sin. It's
symptom is breaking God's law– rejecting His loving, health-full authority
over us. (I John 3:4; James 4:17; John 3:18). The results of sin are alienation
from God (Is.59:1-2; Eph.2:1) and we are enslaved to self-centeredness (John
8:34; Titus 3:3). The disease is eternally fatal if not dealt with (Rom. 6:23).
No one keeps the golden rule, which we all know intuitively (Romans 2 and
3:10) and a holy God cannot overlook it.
2) There is something to Believe. It is not possible to be a Christian unless
you recognize who Christ is (that is logical). He is God in the flesh. He came
to take the weight and guilt of our sins on our own shoulders (Mark 10:45; II
Cor. 5:18, 21; Gal. 3:10, 13; I Pet.3:18). The great "transfer"! This completely
contrasts with other religious forms. Jesus does not show us how to live so we
can be saved; he actually saves us. If we believe in him, there is no more
condemnation for us, we are accepted (Rom.8:1). He was raised and lives in
heaven and gives us his Spirit to change us into his likeness when we believe
in him (Rom. 5:10; Phil. 4:13; I Pet 1:5). When we die we will rule and live
with him forever.
3) There is something to Consider. There is the cost of discipleship. We must
make Jesus more important than money (Matt.6:24), and than anything else at
all (Luke 14:25-35). You must be willing to be known as a Christian. You
must tell the truth and obey the ten commandments when it may not be
comfortable to do. Also, you may feel you have needs God can meet, but you
must not try to use him to achieve your own ends. ("I'll do this if you do
that.") That is not Christianity but a form of magic or paganism. Are you
getting into Christianity to serve God or to get God to serve you? You must
serve him because a) you owe it to God because he is your creator, and b) you
are deeply grateful because he sacrificed his son for you.
4) There is something to Decide. All God's gifts are wrapped up in Christ
(Eph.1:3) and so to receive them you must receive him (John 1:12). To
believe in him, to accept him as savior, to receive him– these are all the same
thing. John 1:12 shows that "believing" is more than head knowledge, but it is
the same as "receiving". Example: To believe that this is a dollar bill is not
the same thing as taking it. Christianity is a gift, not something earned or
deserved. To receive Christ as Savior you must admit that you have been
trying to be your own savior (working to make yourself acceptable before
God– earning your own sense of worth) or making something else your savior

4.4
(taking your identity and joy from it). Then you must consciously transfer
your trust to Christ as savior and therefore new Lord of your life. The
moment you actually say this to God, there is an instantaneous change like in
a marriage vow. Legally, your sins are forgiven, and you are (see John 1:12)
adopted into God's family. Like a marriage vow, it happens in an instant– but
much precedes it and there is a lifelong adjustment follows.
2. Establishing the credibility of the faith.
Help people see the holes in their own system. "Pressuppositional
apologetics". Lead people to see that everyone has a religious worldview– a
way of decision-making, making moral choices, setting priorities, solving
problems, and seeing reality– which is based on "metaphysical" values which
are embraced by faith. They are not scientifically proven– they are assumed
by faith. e.g. "Whatever works for you is right as long as it doesn't hurt
anyone else." or "The real meaning of life is to make the world a little better
place to live". We must reveal these assumptions as religious ("how do you
know that? what is the evidence for that?") and reveal the inherent
contradictions.
C. Helping to Faith 1. Commitment Problems.

What does "No" mean?
a) It could mean “no” to repentance. To the cost of discipleship and the
making Jesus Lord. The person is may understandably just want to
procrastinate.
b) It could mean “no” to realization. In other words, Jesus' coming and
work does not seem relevant. "What could that really mean to me?"
Generally, the answer is that the person does not really have a sense of his/her
sin, or that the person does not feel they are really unable to please God
through moral efforts. Or some other part of the content of the gospel may not
be clear.
c) It could mean “no” to receiving. He or she doesn't understand the
procedure. It is typical that a person is sure there must be a great emotional
rush.
d) It could mean no to reasonableness. There may be an intellectual issue.
One approach is to ask the person to list the barriers to crossing the line into
faith, and break them into categories. Say: "Fine, you are not ready to
respond. I fully respect that. What do you think is standing in your way?"
Content issues – Is there any part of the basics of the Christian message that
don't make sense to you?
Coherence issues – Are there intellectual objections to the faith you can't
resolve in your own mind?
Cost issues – Do you have any concerns about what a move into full
Christianity will cost you?
Then meet with the person and deal with each issue until the person moves
away or toward Christ.
2. Excuses. Learn to answer the following:
"I haven't the time".
"I can be a Christian without going to church."

4.4
"I have always believed these things."

"I want to enjoy myself first."
"I don't feel the need for God."
3. Difficulties.
"I've tried it before and it did not work."
"I could never keep it up."
"I don't feel worthy; I am too bad."
"I've tried all you said to do and it hasn't worked."
"I just can't believe."
CELL GROUP EVANGELISM: BUILDING BRIDGES TO THE UNCHURCHED AND NON-BELIEVERS

1. Personal "Oikos" The Biblical word "oikos" means "household". It refers to people you have a face-to-
understanding face relationship with every week (on the average). The relationship is based on
things you have in common. They are: a) common kinship (relatives or long-time
association), b) common geography (neighbors), c) common work environment (co-
workers or peers in field), d) common interests (hobbies, avocations, etc.– friends).
Write down the names of four non-believers who exist in your oikoses (don't worry
too much about defining your oikoses too specifically. These should be people who
live here.
2. Group "Oikos" Now your group should spend time to discuss the needs and interests of the people
understanding on all. of your lists.
What needs or interests do they seem to have in common?
In that case, what kinds of questions or subjects for the discussion should be helpful
and interesting to them all? How will you plan your outreach to be sensitive to these
needs and interests?
Exchange names and commit to pray for one another's "List of 4" persons every day.
3. Spend 2-3 weeks This is not a manipulative "softening up" tactic! It is instead a way to assess
cultivating your receptivity and a way to plant seeds of interest.
contacts before 1. Ask God to teach you how to be a better friend.
inviting them.
2. Be an excellent listener, find out how the person is doing, what is most
concerning him/her.
3. Seek to find some (genuine) common issue and share how Christianity has
helped you in that situation– either helped you in making decisions, clarifying
thinking, or given personal strength, etc.
The invitation must be clear. No one should come to the outreach on false pretenses.
The invitation itself will depend a bit on what you are planning to present. Some
examples:
"We are having a discussion meeting that will investigate the basis of
Christianity. There will be people all across the spectrum there. I think you
would really contribute– your questions are excellent."
Sources Ralph Neighbor, Building Bridges: Opening Hearts (Touch Outreach, 1991)
Peter Scazzero, Introducing Jesus: Starting an Investigative Bible Study for Seekers
(IVP, 1991)
Richard Peace, Small Group Evangelism: A Training Program (IVP, 1985)
Jim Peterson, Living Proof: Sharing the Gospel Naturally (NavPress, 1989)
Michael Green, Evangelism Through the Local Church [Chapter 12; Appendix D]
(Thomas Nelson, 1992)
Rebecca Pippert, Out of the Saltshaker (IVP)

4.4
THE “AWAKENED SINNER”

This is a class of persons who has been stirred or convicted over their sin and their
need for God. In the modern evangelical church they are the people spoken of as
"really seeking". And yet, these people have not yet gotten peace with God through
the gospel. Within this classification there are several sub-categories:
a. "The Curious " - This is a person who is long on knowledge but short on feeling.
He has become very stirred up to learn. He may come to hear the Word with pen and
notebook; he may be full of questions about Christianity. Although he evidences a
lot of concern for his relationship with God, conviction of sin is somewhat light.
b. "The Uncomfortable" - This is a person who is longer on feeling and (usually)
shorter on knowledge. He or she may evidence a very strong sense of guilt for sin,
yet has trouble coming to terms with the mercy of God. There is as of yet no melting
down in repentance or yielding up of the heart to God.
c. "Awakened with False Peace" - Sometimes a person who is awakened to a sense
of sin and need for God is pronounced "saved" by a counselor or evangelist before
he truly understood the gospel. Although many people can become awakened and
convert in one operation, others cannot. Often, a sermon may awaken a person to a
sense of sin, but if a counselor then presses the person to simply repeat a prayer or
give verbal assent to the gospel before he has grasped it from the heart, then the
person is "healed lightly" (Jer. 6:14). Having been told he is saved, the awakened
sinner may experience a 'euphoria' and later 'crash', or at least he will find himself
full of doubts and confusion.
SHEPHERDING THE “AWAKENED SINNER”
A Group Leader must be sensitive to differences in the way a person comes to
Christ.
1. Some people, before They become very aware of the danger of their sin. There may be real fear of hell,
they are converted, go and conviction over the greatness of their sin. This is not something that necessarily
through a period leads to, conversion. People trembled under the preaching of the gospel (e.g. Felix -
of"legal conviction.” Acts 24:25) without ever coming to faith. It is quite possible for a person to see the
greatness of his danger without the regenerating work of the Holy Spirit. In other
cases, the Holy Spirit takes the person on beyond the "legal conviction" of fear and
concern for his destiny. He may have spent days, weeks, or months trying to believe
and love God enough to earn his salvation. (See the example of Brainerd above.)
Then, God regenerates his heart to see how God can be just and the Justifier of the
ungodly who believe in Christ. The despair is gone. "You must be born again to see
the kingdom of God." How can a pastor tell the difference between a time of
conviction of sin which will lead nowhere and which will lead to conversion? It is
always extremely difficult and it is imperative to not draw conclusions on the spot.
"But all who, for a season, become serious [awakened], are not certainly
converted. There may be solemn impressions and deep awakenings which never
terminate in a saving change, but end in some delusion [such as membership in a
cult, etc.] or the person returns to his old condition, or rather to one much worse;
for it may be laid down as a maxim, that religious impressions opposed, leave the
soul in a more hardened state than before; just as iron, heated and then cooled,
becomes harder...there is no general rule. THE NATURE OF THE
PERMANENT EFFECTS IS THE ONLY SURE CRITERION. 'By their fruits
ye shall know them'". – A. Alexander in Thoughts on Religious Experience p. 15.
"Its [the awakening/conviction] unsoundness or sincerity will be determined –
whether it rest in general acknowledgment, or brings out detailed exercises of

4.4
contrition; whether it respects the misery, or the defilement or sin (Gen. 4:13,23,
with Ezra 9:6); its consequences merely, or its character (Exod. 9:27,28, with
Luke 15:18); whether it springs from fear of wrath, or regard for the honor of
God (I Kings 21:27-29, with Psalm 51); whether it extends to some sins, or to all
(Matt. 27:4, with I Cor. 14:24); whether it is consistent with the love of sin, or
producing abhorrence of and separation from it (I Sam. 15:30, with II Cor. 7:11);
whether its influence is temporary or abiding (John 5:35, with Acts 2:37-47);
whether it repels from Christ in despondency, or leads us to him in the exercise
of faith (Matt. 27:5, with Acts 16:30-34). In the early stages [even of] sincerity, it
is often a mixture of legal and evangelical principle...productive rather of...terror
rather than tenderness and love." – – Charles Bridges, The Christian Ministry, p.
370.
2. On the other hand, In such people, the conviction of sin comes more swiftly and is more accurately
there are many people focused. What I mean is that in "legal conviction" the person focuses more on the
who do not become danger of the sin and his fear for his own "neck". But as a person's mind is opened
seriously effected and by the regeneration of the Holy Spirit, the focus is on the evil of the sin. He is not so
awakened until God is concerned about punishment but about how his sin dishonored and grieved God.
actually regenerating
This sort of conviction is not self-centered and self-righteous, and leads very quickly
their hearts
to accepting the mercy of God and real repentance. ("Quickly" may still not mean
immediately.)
Note 1: What has actually happened to a person when he prays a "sinner's prayer"
after hearing a presentation of the gospel? Some of the people who pray the prayer
are just for the first time coming under "legal conviction" of sin, and really are just
beginning to try to get right with God. They have not really grasped the gospel. In
such a case, some "fall away" later (actually, they never were regenerated.) Others in
this state are then actually regenerated and converted during the follow up. Another
possibility is that the person praying the prayer has actually been regenerated, and
has been moving toward God, but without a clear understanding of how to do it.
Your gospel presentation simply helps him verbalize and conceptualize what he has
already done. I doubt that it happens very often that a person is convicted,
regenerated and converted within the space of a single conversation with a pastor.
Note 2: We have said that not every person has to go through a prolonged period of
"legal conviction" of sin before conversion, and that conviction can come on quickly
and swiftly lead to conversion. However, it must be stated clearly that every person
who is a real Christian must have experienced some spiritual conviction of sin. This
conviction of sin consists of these factors: a) A sense of the inwardness of sin. That
is, the person sees sin as basically an inclination of the heart, a matter of motives and
loves and desires. The non-Christian or false Christian does not know about this. b)
A sense of the guilt of sin as sin. That is, the person sees that his sin (regardless of
the immediate consequences of it) is odious and hateful to God and deserves
condemnation. The non-Christian or false Christian is not troubled by sin until sin
troubles him.
Since it is very difficult if not impossible to tell which awakened persons will come
to Christ, there should be a uniform method of dealing with them (based on
Sprague's excellent lecture):
(a) Determine the amount of knowledge and the amount of feeling.
– if he is long on feeling and short on knowledge, your course of action is fairly
simple. He may be ripe for conversion. Present the truths of the gospel in a
balanced, full way. You may be bold to press for a commitment. If he will not,
discover at what point he has trouble. Review the outline briefly, asking, "Do you
understand and agree that first, ___________, and second, _________"

4.4
– if he is long on knowledge and short on feeling ("the curious"), you may need to
elaborate the gospel presentation with vivid illustrations and pointed applications.
This takes a great deal of skill and wisdom on the part of the pastor. Show him that
Christianity is not an academic matter, not a matter of weaving a web of intricate
thought-forms. Say, as Whitefield, "It is one thing to assent with your mouth, and
another thing to believe from the heart. If you have really done that, a truth affects
you mind, will, and emotions. Have you ever been saddened by your sins? Have you
cried out to God that you need a saviour? Has the mercy of God in Christ seemed
precious to you?" Impress on the person that Christianity is a religion of the heart.
[Caution: Keep in mind the words of Thomas Watson - "But wouldest thou know
when thou hast been humbled enough for sin? When thou are willing to let go thy
sins. The gold has lain long enough in the furnace when the dross is purged out; so,
when the love of sin is purged out, a soul is humbled enough, what needs more? If a
needle has let out the abscess, what needs a lance? Be no more cruel to thyself than
God would have thee." (from A Body of Divinity, p. 451).
(b) Impress on the awakened sinner the need to come to God on gospel terms
immediately.
– God owns you. Every day you rule your own life you become more and more
guilty.
– The concern you have now is the gracious influence of the spirit of God. If
youdecide to come to God at your own convenience, you are mocking God. He is
too great for you to snap your fingers when you are ready. Who is King around
here? You are in great danger of losing the openness of heart you have now. Do
you think you can repent any time you wish? No! Repentance is a gift from God,
which he is offering you now. You must take it or risk becoming too hard to care.
Then you will be lost forever. Don't delay. Even a passing conversation with a
friend can drive away your convictions. Act now.
(c) Beware of a spirit of self-righteousness.
– When a man is first awakened to his need, he usually sets out on a furious
effort toplease God through his efforts (church attendance, prayer, obeying the
law). Warn him of this.
– Say, "Don't stop striving to please God, but do it in the spirit of the new
covenant,not the covenant of works. There is no actual saving value in your
strivings, only gratitude value (saying "thank you" for a full salvation). Until you
accept this and fall down helpless at the feet of Christ's mercy and are willing to
accept the free gift of eternal life, you cannot be saved."
– Warn him that he can assent to justification by faith in the abstract and still try
tocatch God's eye with his efforts, so he must examine his heart.
(d) Beware of making comfort your ultimate end instead of giving God his due.
– If you see yourself as a sufferer looking for relief primarily, you will never
findpeace. God is no sugar daddy to be used by you to secure your own
happiness. Say to him: "Blessed are they which hunger and thirst after what?
Blessedness? No! Righteousness! Happy are they which don't seek happiness,
but rather to give God his due. Happiness never comes to those who seek it
directly. You are a sinner, in need of pardon. Give God what you owe:
repentance, faith, obedience. Your troubles will take care of themselves. Until
you have grasped this in your heart, you will never have peace."
(e) If, after sharing the gospel, the person is not ready to repent and believe, yet is

4.4
still curious, advise this:

– Spend a lot of time reading good books, the Bible, and in prayer. Coming to
church meetings and so on is good, but no substitute. It is too easy to derive your
spirituality from the environment. Also, many well-meaning counselors may be
confusing. Talk often with one or two spiritual advisors and with the Lord.
– Read the intriguing sermon by Lloyd-Jones on Mark 8:22,26- "Men as Trees,
Walking". He tells about people who are in a similar condition to the blind man.
They seemed to have been touched by Jesus– they see things they couldn't see
before, yet things are still not in focus. What did the blind man do? He was
honest. He did not say, "I see fine!" He admitted his condition and Jesus touched
him again. So tell Jesus what you see and what you don't see. Ask him to touch
you some more until you see clearly.
– But above all, stress that these means of study and prayer are only means to
theend. They cannot merit anything from God. They are only ways to enable God
to work in you.
3. Learn to deal with (a) "I just can't believe" What you are describing is simply the settled distaste every
specific problems or natural heart has to God. Don't make an excuse for it. In yourself, you are unable
objections posed by the to believe, but the Holy Spirit has already come to your aid. If you see what you
awakened (See Brooks have to do and wish that you could do it, then that is evidence of the Holy Spirit's
and Sprague): work. (You give yourself too much credit! You couldn't see all these things
unless the Spirit was already at work! Don't despair.) Now, as long as this divine
aid is offered to you, you must act. Don't wait for some kind of psychological
sense of certainty; faith is acting on what you know to be true. Paul says: "We
walk by faith, not by sight." See? He doesn't pit faith against reason, he pits faith
against feelings and appearances. Do you see what you must do? Then repent,
trust, obey Christ. How can you stand on this plea of inability? That is an abstract
question, and it is a sinful refusal.
(b) "I've tried all you've said to do, but it hasn't worked" [Evaluate: Either he hasn't
'tried' properly, or he has a false understanding of what 'worked' means.] What do
you mean by 'worked'? Did you expect a certain feeling? Did you expect your
problems to go away. Faith is acting on what you know to be true, despite how
things feel or appear ("We walk by faith, not by sight".) Imagine that a doctor
tells you, "You are dying because of all the fat and starch you are eating; if you
stop eating steak and potatoes, your body will begin to strengthen". The first time
someone beside you eats a big steak dinner, won't it smell great? It doesn't smell
dangerous and deadly. Now if you exercise faith, you follow what you know to
be true (this food is poison to me), or you can follow your appetites, senses, and
feelings. What if you exercise faith? Will it immediately feel wonderful? NO!
Your stomach will growl and you will feel unsatisfied. It is only as you practice
faith over time that the healing and health (that is, the good feeling and visible
effects) will come. So it is with saving faith. You may not at first experience
anything remarkable. Nor will all your problems be solved. But your standing
with God is changed, and eventually, the effects will flow out into your whole
life. Phil. 2:12-14 tells us that the strength and life of God comes as you obey
him. He works as we work.
How have you been trying? Perhaps you have been striving in a spirit of self-
righteousness (see above). Perhaps you have been striving in a spirit of
bargaining with God, instead of approaching him as a sovereign king (see
above). ("I'll do this and that if God will do this and that". Instead say, "I owe
God everything, and he owes me nothing; I'll gladly do whatever he bids me
WITHOUT CONDITIONS". If you have put conditions on your seeking him, he

4.4
will not meet you.) [Bottom line.] I'm sorry you have been frustrated in your
seeking God, and I cannot know your heart or God's heart enough to tell you why
you haven't felt that you've connected with him.
But I do know this. You haven't got the option of giving up. His disciples said to
Jesus, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You [alone] have the words of eternal life"
(John 6:68). What is your alternative? You have none. If you keep seeking, Jesus
says that no one who comes to him will he cast out (John 6:37). On the other
hand, if you stop seeking him, you will certainly perish.
(c) "I just don't have any sorrow for sin or desire for God" [He may be the victim of
having heard long, lurid testimonies which convinced him that he too must have
an extended period of self-loathing and weeping over his sin.] It is not Biblical to
require everyone to have equally long, vivid, and horrible sorrow over sin. Look
at Matthew, Zaccheus, the Philippian jailer, and Lydia (Luke 19:9; Acts 16:14,
etc.). There is no indication that they spent time in terror and horror. They were
called abruptly and they came. Look at Jesus invitation to the Laodiceans (Rev.
3:15-20). He invites the lukewarm, self-deluded people to open to him so he can
fellowship with him. They were not put through some long time of conviction.
Listen! If your house had caught on fire, how alarmed would you have to feel
about it in order to be saved? Just enough to get out! It doesn't matter whether
you leave crying 'Oh! My house, my house' or not. It doesn't matter if you are in
a panic or just a bit upset. THE ONLY GOOD YOUR EMOTIONS AND FEAR
ARE IS TO GET YOU TO LEAVE. The only good conviction of sin is to get
you to repent and humble yourself under the mighty hand of your king. So
submit! Don't wait to feel a certain way. [Ultimately, anyone who is concerned
about lack of sorrow and feeling is caught in a self-righteous spirit. He hopes to
please God with his pious feelings. Don't allow this. Confront him.]
(d) "I guess I'm not predestined!" Deuteronomy 29:29 says, "Secret things belong to
the Lord, but what is revealed is revealed so you may do them." Guessing one's
election is a secret thing; we are not to do it. To repent and believe is revealed;
that is what we are to do. Election does not change your responsibility. How
these two fit together is a mystery – a "secret thing". Don't use God's secrets as
excuses for refusing to do what he has clearly said. For example, suppose you
know nothing about how a machine operates. All the manufacturer does is tell
you how to turn it on and use it. Now, will you say, "There is no use in my using
it; if I don't know how it works, it won't work!" That's silly. So it is foolish to
say, "Since I don't understand how I can be responsible to repent and believe and
how salvation is still a matter of God's election; therefore, I won't repent and
believe!" Once a man was extremely ill, and his doctor prescribed for him some
medicine. The man asked the doctor, "Sir, do you believe in the predestination
and providence of God? Do you believe everything is determined by his will?"
"Yes," said the doctor, who was a sound, confirmed Christian. "Well," said the
man, "what is the use of taking this medicine? If I am predestined to live I'll live;
if to die, I'll die. I don't know which it is." "Friend," replied the doctor, "I know
how to find this out. If you refuse to take this medicine, I am quite sure you are
predestined to live; if you do not take the medicine, I can almost guarantee you
that you are predestined to die." You see, God works out his will through means
– through our choices.
(e) "I'm too bad/depressed" See the arguments under "the immoral pagan" for the
objection "My sins are too great to be forgiven." Look how far Jesus came to
save sinners! Are you worse than Paul? (I Tim. 1:15) Jesus loves to save sinners;
he delights to do it. (Luke 15:7; Is. 53:11; Zeph.3:16-17). The Bible says God is

4.4
"mighty to save;" are you saying that He is not strong enough to deal with your
sins? Are you mightier than God? [Again, remember that this complaint is often
a subtle form of self-righteousness. The man thinks he is unworthy. Then he is
assuming his worthiness is the necessary basis for coming to Christ.]
4. In the case of a 1. A desire and willingness to make detailed confession of sin, not just a general
person who seems acknowledgment.
"stuck" in a condition
of awakening, but who 2. A hatred of sin, not just the consequences of sin.
claims he cannot come 3. A desire to honor God, not just to placate him.
to Christ, go to the
catalogue of Bridges 4. A desire to do away with all kinds of sin, not just of some kinds.
(above) and go 5. A humbling that drives toward Christ, not away from him due to a proud kind of
through each quality of shame.
spiritual awakening:
6. A lasting influence, not just a temporary one.
Using the Scripture which Bridges names, examine the person and show him
anywhere where you see his concern and awakening has gone awry.
READING: S. Ferguson. The Christian Life, chapter 5-8

D.M. Lloyd-Jones. The Sons of God, chapter 17
A. Alexander. Thoughts on Religious Experience, chapter 10
W.B. Sprague. Lectures on Revivals, Lecture 6
C. Bridges. The Christian Ministry, 369-372

4.5
Who Is a Disciple
THE NATURE OF DISCIPLESHIP - WHAT IS IT?
1. The word "discipleship" as a topic of Christian teaching is relatively new. Only
in the last 20 years has it become widely recognized. The Navigators have been
more instrumental than anyone else in popularizing it. Although it is given
various definitions, it is generally meant to describe serious, committed, active
Christian service as opposed to a lukewarm, lethargic Christian life.
2. There are some abuses of the concept of "discipleship". I fear that sometimes it
can be used like the "baptism of the Holy Spirit" to divide Christians into first
and second class sections. The fact is, that every Christian must be a "disciple".
You do not have two options, namely, discipleship or a "regular Christian". Jesus
in the Great Commission states that all his people shall be disciples. For more on
the problem of this balance, see Lovelace, "The Sanctification Gap" in Dynamics
of Spiritual Life.
3. In the past, the concept of discipleship has been addressed under headings such
as "growth in grace", "servanthood", and "maturity". Nevertheless, "discipleship"
is a Biblical term, and throughout church history, men of God have been seeking
to make disciples.
WHO IS A DISCIPLE?
Definition Essentially, a "disciple" in Biblical terms is a learner who sits under a teacher.
However, a disciple is much more than what we think of today as a "pupil". A
disciple entered into a relationship with the teacher in which his/her whole life came
under the teacher's influence and control. "Ye call me Teacher and Lord, and you are
right, for that is what I am" (John 13:13). In other words, a disciple is not a
classroom pupil. He studies with his teacher, but he also lives with him, emulates
him, enters into his life and ministry.
How then can Christians today be disciples? Aren't we just limited to being pupils
who study his teachings? One of the most wonderful claims of the book of Acts is
often overlooked. All the Christians who came to Christ after Jesus had left the earth
physically are still called "disciples"! "In Joppa there was a disciple named
Tabitha..." (Acts 9:36). Because we have a living Saviour and because we are in
union with him by the Holy Spirit, we are still able to enter into a discipling
relationship with him.
The elements of being 1. Knowledge– A disciple learns of his master.
a disciple(John 15: 8-
17) "With many similar parables Jesus spoke the word to them [the crowd], as much
asthey could understand. He did not say anything to them without using a
parable. But when he was alone with his own disciples, he explained
everything" (Mark 4: 33-34).
A disciple is more than a pupil but he is not less than a pupil! He must master
the Word of God and its doctrine. He must also learn to think Biblically about
anything he reads, hears, observes and experiences in the world.
2. Character– A disciple knows his master
"He appointed twelve...that they might be with him" (Mark 3:13). "...love each
other as I have loved you...I no longer call you servants, because a servant does
not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends..." (John
15:12,15).
What is a personal relationship? It is a mutual interchange of truth and love. The
Part 4: Pastoral Care Who is a Disciple? 1

4.5
deeper a relationship, the deeper is the exchange of ideas and of affection. This
is what we may have with Jesus Christ. The channels are: 1) the Word of God in
its various uses (memorization, reading, meditating, preached, etc.) and 2)
prayer in its various uses (individual, corporate, etc.). The medium is the Holy
Spirit. Therefore, we can give God love through praise and thanksgiving, and he
can shed his love abroad in our hearts (Rom. 5:5; Eph. 3:14-19). We can share
our desires, intentions, needs, and thoughts with him in confession and petition,
and he can develop in us the wisdom of the Spirit through his Word (I Cor.
2:10-16;Col.1:9-10).
3. Obedience—A disciple obeys his master
"If you continue in my word, you are truly my disciples..."(John 8:31). "Any of
you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple" (Luke
14:33).
The English word "disciple" comes from the word "disciplined". A disciple of
Jesus must be completely committed to obey him and no other. There can be no
competing allegiances to the Lord. There must be no conditions or
qualifications on our obedience. First, we must be willing to obey the Word of
the Lord in any area of our lives; we may not be selective in our obedience.
Secondly, we must be willing to submit humbly and gratefully to the will of the
Lord in anything he brings into our lives. Until we are reconciled to Jesus'
sovereign Lordship over us, we cannot be his disciples.
4. Imitation—A disciple is like his master
"It is enough for the student to be like his teacher. It is enough for the servant to
like his master" (Matt. 10:25). "I have given them the glory that you gave me...I
in them and you in me..."(John 17:22-23).
A disciple desires to imitate his master and become like him. For a Christian,
this means "growth in grace". This entails careful self-examination and concrete
changes in character. He grows in faith, in humility, in love, in the ability to
handle problems and conflicts. The fruit of the spirit is the goal of growth in
grace.
5. Service—A disciple serves his master
"By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit, and so prove to be My
disciples" (John 15:8). "He appointed twelve...that he might send them out to
preach and to have authority to drive out demons" (Mark 3:14).
A disciple was not a classroom pupil. He accompanied his master in his actual
ministry, and learned, through on the job training, to participate in that ministry.
A disciple of Jesus Christ is therefore someone who can "reproduce" himself.
He discovers his ministry abilities, his spiritual gifts, and uses them.
Summary: A disciple believes, knows, obeys, grows, serves.
The interrelationship These 5 elements cannot develop independently from one another (although there
of the elements of can be some imbalances). A disciple grows like his master through obeying, serving,
discipleship knowing and believing. A disciple cannot know God unless he obeys him. A disciple
does not truly understand (learn) doctrine unless he is moved by it to praise Christ
for it (knowing), to apply it to his life (obeying and growing), and to impart it to
others (serving).

4.5
DISCIPLING AND SHEPHERDING NEW BELIEVERS

The New Believer - By a "new believer" I mean a person who is a recent convert.
Description
(1) In new converts, the emotions often run ahead of the understanding. His
repentance is sincere, but it still tends to identify "big" and troubling sins. His
faith is genuine, but it tends to be too much influenced by feelings. Above all,
there is in the new convert a significant amount of legalism mixed into his heart.
He still tends to rest the assurance of his salvation on the quality of his
fellowship with God, the fervency of his love and feelings. When his feelings
run dry, he may wonder if he is a Christian.
(2) There is great diversity of operations of the Spirit in new believers. In nature,
some children come out of the womb active, kicking, and full of evident life.
Others come out barely moving, though no less alive.
(a) The diversity is caused partially by the degree of vigor of the spiritual life
impartedby the Spirit. The Spirit is sovereign; He blows where He wills.
Some people he excites to rapid progress, others start slowly.
(b) Some of the diversity may be caused by the amount of instruction the new-
bornperson has had in his past. Some have had healthy and balanced
teaching of the Word, but the knowledge of the truth sat in his mind like
unkindled firewood since the Spirit had not regenerated him. Now, however,
the new Christian finds the large stores of knowledge becomes
understanding as the fire of the Spirit sets it all ablaze.
(c) A third cause of diversity is temperament. Our personalities differ as to
emotionalfervor, outgoing nature, self-reflection, and so on. Temperament is
neutral. Under the Spirit each temperament produces strengths and graces
peculiar to it; under the flesh it produces sins and faults peculiar to it.
Therefore, the new birth does not alter temperament, but transforms it. A
woman with an outgoing temperament may hasten into public witnessing
faster than her sister who is retiring. On the other hand, the retiring person
may proceed much more quickly to a healthy prayer life.
A pastor must accept the great diversity of experience which can characterize new
converts. Beware of developing a stereotype of how the new believer must act and
appear.
Goals Basic goals for the new convert:
1. To help him understand his past, present, and anticipated experience in terms of
Biblical truth. Some new Christians know no more of what happened to them
than a physical baby understands being born. He must be shown the true
grounds of his assurance: the work of Christ, not feeling. He must be shown the
real evidence of salvation: growth in holiness, not claims and frames of
emotion. He must be prepared for the nature and purposes of trials; he must
have conflict with indwelling sin and the devil explained to him so it is no
surprise.
The possibilities for confusion and self-deception are very great. He must learn to
put Biblical constructs on his experience.
2. To teach him to use the means of grace so he can " feed himself". That is,
without direct and close supervision by another, he should be able to use the
word, prayer, the resources of the Body to help himself consistently grow and
deal with difficulties.

4.5
Warnings Some warnings and directions to the New Christian:

1. Expect the good feelings to give way to conflict and labor. There will be a post-
conversion let down in which God will be seeking to you to lean on him and
walk by faith.
2. Whether you will lead a happy and useful Christian life depends largely on the
habits you form now, in the beginning.
3. Be sure to check everything you read and hear out against the word of God.
New believers are susceptible to false teaching as are no other group of people.
4. As soon as possible, identify your "besetting sins" or the sin which you are
most inclined toward. Make provision to guard against it. Although you may
have experienced a deliverance from temptation here at the beginning of your
Christian life, those temptations are likely to be back with even greater
vengeance because:
(a) Your heart still has indwelling sin. It has now been wounded mortally by
theentrance of the Holy Spirit. Think of how much more hostile a wounded
bear is than a healthy bear! So it may kick up more trouble for you than
ever.
(b) The world and the devil now hate you as they did not before, because you
are asoldier in the army of Jesus Christ.
5. Remember, the graces which you find the Holy Spirit brought (love, joy, faith,
humility) do not have some kind of automatic power to keep on growing
without YOU constantly sustaining them by the means of grace.
"There is no essential element in divine grace that can secure it from the deepest
declension; that, if left to its self-sustaining energy, such are the hostile
influences by which it is surrounded, such the severe assaults to which it is
exposed, and such the feeble resistance it is capable of exerting, there is not a
moment– splendid though its former victories may have been– in which the
incipient and secret progress of declension may not have commenced and be
going forward in the soul. THERE IS A PRONENESS IN US TO DEIFY THE
GRACES OF THE SPIRIT. We often think of faith and love, and their kindred
graces, as though they were essentially omnipotent; forgetting that though they
undoubtedly are divine in their origin, spiritual in nature, and sanctifying in
their effects, they yet are sustained by no self-supporting power, but by constant
communications of life and nourishment from Jesus; that THE MOMENT OF
THEIR BEING LEFT TO THEIR INHERENT STRENGTH, IS THE
MOMENT OF THEIR CERTAIN DECLENSION AND DECAY." – Octavius
Winslow, in Personal Declension and Revival of Religion in the Soul, p. 9-10
"Faith is not something that acts automatically...that acts magically. This, I
think, is the blunder of which we have all, at some time or another, been
guilty....Many people, it seems to me, conceive of faith as if it were something
similar to those thermostats which you have in connection with a heating
apparatus, you set the thermostat at a given level, you want to maintain the
temperature at a certain point and it acts automatically....You do not have to do
anything about it, the thermostat acts automatically...Now there are many
people who think that...[no matter] what happens to them, the faith will operate
and all will be well....Faith is something you and I have to bring into
operation...Faith is a refusal to panic...you remind yourself of what you know..."
– Lloyd-Jones "Where is your Faith?" in Spiritual Depression: Causes and
Cure

4.5
SPECIFIC TYPES OF NEW BELIEVERS

The Doubtful This is a person who, though professing faith in Christ, comes with much in the way
of doubts, fears, and confusion about the new life. "Did I really believe with my
whole heart?" "Is this going to take more than I thought?" "Will I be able to keep this
up?" This person is a slow starter. In some cases, this person is in the "twilight zone"
described above; he is like the blind man who "saw men as trees, walking". It is
necessary for you to stay close and deal gently with him, in the spirit of "a bruised
reed he will not break; a smoking flax he will not quench".
The Eager This is a person who begins the Christian life vigorously, with joy and confidence
and with a great eagerness both to grow/learn and to minister/serve.
The Overzealous This is a new Christian who falls into pride. He becomes quickly judgmental of
others, and he takes on too much responsibility before he is spiritually able to handle
disappointments and frustrations. This person will complain about the lack of zeal
and joy in the lives of many of the long-time church members. He may feel it is his
duty to confront some of them about sins he sees in their lives. He will become
impatient with church machinery.
Keep in mind that this is a form of a legalistic spirit. Confront it as such. If the
person resists, use his irritation as evidence for the truth of what you say. This person
is a good candidate for quick backsliding. Also, some apostates make their entrance
and exit from the church like this. As you can see, it is a dangerous condition which
must be dealt with. Overzealous new converts can also turn off long-time church
members to evangelism and outreach. Explain to some of them privately: "If you're
going to have babies (and without them, a family will die off), then you are going to
have dirty diapers. Babies make messes."
DISCIPLING THE MATURE BELIEVER - SPIRITUAL MENTORING

Description A mature believer is a person who has been a Christian for some time and is in a
pattern of spiritual growth and usefulness. Periodically he is tempted, afflicted, falls
into lethargy, becomes spiritually depressed and even backslides. However, he or she
is able to progress out of them on his own or in ready response to pastoral treatment.
This then is a mature believer: One who 1) grows in grace (that is, grows in
fellowship with God, knowledge of God, and likeness to God), 2) can progress
through problems, and 3) is using his/her gifts to minister in the name of Christ.
Spiritual Mentoring How does one `treat' a mature Christian? The same way that a doctor treats a healthy
the Mature Believer person:
1. Put the person on a healthy diet (input - growth in grace),
2. Be sure he is getting exercise (output - use of gifts),
3. Be around for check ups to nip symptoms in the bud with treatment (pastoral
visitation and preventative care).
A "spiritual mentor" is a more experienced person who shares with another

something s/he has learned from God which is relevant to the other's needs and
situation. It is usually futile to look for an "ideal" mentor, who can disciple, guide,
coach, counsel, teach, sponsor! You need a variety. The closest to the ideal is the
"spiritual guide" and "discipler", but if you cannot find someone who fit those
categories, you can go a long way with a constellation of the others.
Mentoring is a particularly "anagogic" (vs. "pedagogic") method of education. It is
based on principles of adult education. a) Adults learn best through self-direction.
(The learner's participates in the design of developmental tasks, while the mentor
focuses his/her resources on them.) b) Adults learn best when imparted material

4.5
accomplishes tasks and solves problems that real life creates. (On the one hand, the
mentor helps the learner identify in his/her life the problems caused by the lack of
mastery of the to-be-taught material. On the other hand, the mentor first teaches in
response to the needs and problems the learner is aware of.)
COMMONALITIES IN MENTORING
1. A mentor gives the learner three things: a) new (enriched) perspective,
b)accountability, c) encouragement/motivation to move ahead.
2. A mentoring relationship requires: a) attraction (the learner sees the mentor as
havingwisdom s/he needs; the mentor appreciates learner's attitude and
potential), b) accountability (mutual responsibility for the other is worked out so
expectations are not dissonant).
DIVERSITIES IN MENTORING: "VERTICAL" MENTORING

Mentor type Situation type Material type
Intensive
Discipler New in the faith Basics of Christian life
a. Devotions-habits
b. Basic doctrine-The Creed
c. Basic lordship-10 commands
d. Christian relationships
e. Ministry basics
Spiritual Guide Plateaued growth Direction on spiritual growth and maturity
a. Assessing spirit. growth
b. Pointing to strengths/weaknesses
c. Identifying commitments for life decisions
d. Perspective on major Lordship issues
Coach New task/challenge Specific skills
a. Tell (and send to others)
b. Show (and send to others)
c. Watch the other perform
d. Evaluate
Occasional
Counselor Personal problems/or Advice/wisdom
decisions a. Encourage "I/others did it"
b. Soundboard
c. Evaluate faulty thinking
d. Clarify options/pros-cons
e. Linking to resources
f. Enlarge perspective
g. Advice based on experience
h. Advanced– Christian therapy
Teacher Perceived ignorance Knowledge/understanding in field
a. Link to literature/teachers etc.
b. Outline/organize the field
c. Sift out less relevant material
d. Give plumblines to evaluate field
e. Walk through some literature to show above
Sponsor New work/career/life Guidance/protection in a new field of relations
a. Networking– linking the learner to important persons
b. Impart relational skills– use of authority, "mores"
c. Show developmental resources
d. How to grow in effectiveness
e. Show how to capitalize strengths
f. Build confidence; vision
Passive
Model All sorts/generalized Example/inspiration

4.5
Nearly all the above types of mentoring (except sponsorship) is available from both living and
deceased persons who through their writings or other media can provide counsel, spiritual
guidance, teaching, etc.
"HORIZONTAL" MENTORING
1. Peer co-mentoring is a relationship with persons of similar age and experience. Though the
experience of peers is not significantly superior to yours, it is nearly always significantly
different than yours. As a result, a peer can provide the a) enhanced perspective, b)
accountability, and c) encouragement that a "superior" can. In many ways, the accountability
may be greater than in vertical mentoring, though the empowerment through perspective and
encouragement may be less.
2. Types of peer co-mentoring. Nearly any of the types of vertical mentoring can occur at the
peer level, but the following are especially effective:
a. Peer spiritual guides: Two people pool their spiritual growth resources, hold eachother
accountable for spiritual disciplines, point out spiritual maturity growth and flaws, and so
on.
b. Peer coaches: Two people who are seeking to master a particular skill together–study
skills, Bible study methods, or the specific overcoming of a destructive habit– agree
together to find resources together and hold each other accountable.
3. Requirements for co-mentors: a) fit (do I respect the other? does the other appear to be able to
provide what I need to grow?), b) fun (do I enjoy being with this person? Note: this is far
more important than in vertical mentoring!), c) transparency (do the two agree to real
openness and candor?)
We all need both "upward," "downward," and "sideward" mentoring relationships. We need a
constellation of mentoring.
BEGINNING A MENTORING RELATIONSHIP
1. Purpose– Be clear on what the mentor relationship is after. You don't need a label, but you do
need to know what kind of material is being shared.
2. Regularity– Establish how often meetings will be and how intimate accountability will be.
3. Assess what the learner needs and wants– What do you want to cover? What are the key
issues or problems you are facing? what are the themes in your life right now/what is God
teaching or showing you?
4. Assess what the mentor has to give– What do I feel I have to give in this area. What has God
has shown me (principles, habits, experiences) that may be helpful
5. Evaluation and closure
IMPORTANT RESOURCES ON MENTORING
Paul Stanley and J. Robert Clinton, Connecting: The Mentoring Relationships You Need to
Succeed in Life (Navpress, 1992). The book on which this outline is based.

4.6
A Plan for Discipleship

THE STRUCTURE OF DISCIPLESHIP
Discipleship in Discipleship cannot be done in isolation from the whole Body of Christ. In John
Community 13:35 and 17:20-23 Jesus tells us that disciples are not "lone rangers". Disciples
exhibit the same love and unity that characterizes the Trinity! Remember that the
Father, Son, and Holy Spirit did not simply have warm feelings toward each other.
They worked together in perfect harmony and under covenant obligations to each
other.
So we must avoid certain common mistakes in discipleship. We must not think that
we can be accountable to Christ for discipleship without accountability to other
human disciples. One of the main ways in which we can grow in Christlikeness is to
attach ourselves to a godly disciple in whom the character of Christ is evident. One
of the ways we can learn the word of the Lord is to sit under the teaching of a
disciple who knows the word well. And it is also a mistake to get all your
"discipling" done in a relationship or a group divorced from the local church.
On the other hand, we must realize that we are never disciples of any human being,
despite the fact that we can talk of a more mature Christian "discipling" another
Christian. There is a danger that we can get conformed to the image of another
disciple instead of to the Master. This is especially true the more our discipler is an
attractive, godly believer. Therefore, discipleship should go on in variety of
relationships and modes, though not necessarily at the same time. (See below for
some of these modes.)
THE STAGES OF DISCIPLESHIP

Although we cannot make hard and fast distinctions, there is Biblical warrant for
conceptualizing Christian discipleship as having stages. For example, I John 2:12-14
speaks of some Christians as "children", some as "young men", and some as
"fathers". So, too, Hebrews 5:12-14 speaks of people who are spiritual "babes" and
others who have come to the place where they are now "teachers". For the sake of
discussion, let us arbitrarily divide Christian discipleship as having three stages:
"Being Fed" stage. A new Christian or a very immature Christian is someone who has begun to grow in
grace, to know God through the word and prayer, and to obey God by changing
things in his/her life. This is happening because someone is methodically feeding the
person.
This "baby stage" is a stage of discipleship because such a person is eating. (A
physical baby who refuses to eat will die; one who accepts nurture will be growing
and developing.)
There are many persons who do not ever enter this stage because they were not given
appropriate follow up after conversion or because they were raised in a church which
implicitly taught "cheap grace". In time, such persons refuse to enter discipleship
because they are proud (they don't think they "need" it) or because competing
concerns crowd it out. Only after the Spirit convicts them of their lack can they enter
this stage.
There are other persons who enter this stage but do not leave it. New Christians often
begin with strong and lively feelings of closeness to God. Often they base their
assurance on such experiences, instead of on the finished work of Christ.
Eventually, these feelings fade (as all feelings do). When this happens, old
temptations may return, and prayer becomes dry. He or she may doubt the genuiness
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4.6
of the new faith, or feel that God has deserted. The new Christian, if not instructed
and helped through this, may abandon discipleship.
Also, other "babes" may get attached to a spiritual leader who encourages
dependence.
If you do not progress out of the "babe" stage, you will regress and lose even that,
because no one can remain in a feeding relationship forever. Some factor will disrupt
it eventually.
"Feeding Oneself" As the first stage might be characterized by rapid growth, and high feelings, this next
stage. stage is usually marked by a "cooling off" of feelings, and lessons of
perseverance, conflict, and dying to sin.
The disciple must learn to follow the truth and rely on the truth rather than on his/her
fears, anxieties, perceptions, desires. The disciple will learn what it means to "serve
God for nothing" (Job 1:9), i.e. to obey God for his own sake. His/her growth may
seen slower, but it is actually developing long-term strengths such as loyalty,
humility, dependence on God, faithfulness. In the same way, it takes longer to make
a mountain than a molehill.
The disciple learns not to be so dependent on her circumstances or fellowship for her
relationship to God. This does not mean that we ever outgrow the need for
accountability relationships or for sitting under mature Christians, but it does mean
that we become less dependent on that.
"Feeding Others" When a person has become stable in plenty and in want, when a person has become
able stage. to admit, analyze and solve personal problems, then he or she becomes
able to minister to
others.
Some teach that any mature Christian can and should "disciple" other Christians.
This is true if understood generally to mean accountability relationships (see below).
But not everyone has the gifts of counseling, exhortation, or teaching which make
some persons superb "disciplers".
What is important is that disciples come to discover their ministry aptitudes and
gifts. They should not wait for some "advanced" stage of maturity to minister to
people. But it is nevertheless true that, eventually, a Christian grows as much or
more through ministry to others than through any other means.
PROBLEMS OF MOST DISCIPLING MATERIALS

1. Many are very individualistic. Little concept of the presence of the kingdom, and
thus: little emphasis on local church, on "salting" the workplace with Christ, on
responsibility to society, on critique of culture.
2. Many are unconsciously legalistic. Little understanding of free justification and
adoption, and thus no discussion of repentance for dead works (rather, only
"victory over sin"). Sin is seen as largely individual transgressions rather than an
orientation toward self-righteousness and self-trust. Fullness of the Spirit is seen
as an abstract power coming to those who have purified themselves of sin, rather
than an awareness of one's identity in Christ.

4.6
PLAN FOR DISCIPLING A NEWER BELIEVER
1. Establish a relationship with the person that shows interest in him/her and that
helps you gather information about the person emotional, social, spiritual needs.
Leroy Eims, The Lost Art of Disciplemaking (Zondervan/NavPress, 1983) and
Alice Fryling, Disciplemakers' Handbook (Inter-Varsity, 1989)
2. Use one book appropriate for discipling. Ask the person to read 1 or more
chapters each week. Ask them to make three kinds of marks in the chapters:
 for what inspired and encouraged you most
 for what convicted you and confronted you most.
? for what puzzled you most.
3. Make sure you balance your discipleship program between these three important
elements:
a. Doctrine - Believing God. Theology and world view.
b. Experience - Knowing God.

1. Fellowship with God. Prayer, Bible study, repentance
2. Growing with God. Spiritual fruit, Life in the body.
c. Practice - Serving God
1. Obedience to God. (Personal and Public ethics)
2. Ministry with God. (Gifts and ministry)
Three recommended 1. John White, The Fight (Inter-Varsity, 1978). 11 sessions. Topics:
books for a discipling
plan: 1. Beginnings (What Happened to you?) 7. Changed relationships
2. Prayer 8. Guidance
3. Bible study 9. Holiness
4. Personal evangelism 10. Being a Christian in public life
5. Satan 11. Spiritual Warfare
6. Faith
2. John Guest, Beating Mediocrity (Baker, 1993) and John Stott, Basic
Christianity (Eerdmans). Altogether 12 sessions:
Guest Topics: Guest Topics:

1. The Gospel 7. The Bible - Manual for a New Life
2. Assurance 8. Prayer - Intimacy with God
9. Worship
Stott Topics:
10. Sharing your Faith
3. Fact and nature of sin
11. Fellowship
(10 commandments) (ch 5)
12. Stewardship
4. Consequences of Sin (ch 6)
5. Death of Christ (ch 7)
6. Counting the Cost (Lordship)(ch 9)
Other good The Christian Life, by Sinclair Ferguson; God's Words or Knowing God, by J.I.
possibilities Packer; or Pursuit of Holiness, by Jerry Bridges.

1.1
How to Use the Plan 1. Ask the person to develop a daily quiet time (5 days a week). A QT consists of
reading a chapter of the Bible, marking the most helpful verse, and writing out
what it means to you and how you can apply it. Second, it consists of praying
according to the ACTS outline (Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving,
Supplication) and recording a small list of what you prayed for. Twenty minutes
is a good amount of time.
2. At your weekly or bi-weekly meetings:
a. Quiet Time sharing. Each week share with the person the main thing God is
teaching you from the Word, and then as the person to share his/her main
insight for the week.
b. Readings discussion. Start by "collecting" the markings and discussing the

issues raised by them.
1. Collect the inspiration issues: Ask the person to analyze why the truth
helped or encouraged him or her.
2. Collect the conviction issues: Ask the person what they are going to do to
follow through.
3. Collect the questions: Try to answer them on the spot or else offer to
research and get back.
(Optional) Choose one or two good Bible passages to read with the person which you
think drives home a central truth regarding the topic under discussion. You should
read the chapter(s) yourself and choose the passage after reading it. John White's The
Fight has such a Bible study at the end of each chapter.
Part (section number): (section title) (sub section title), 4

4.7
Personal Communion with God

Spiritual knowledge is revealed truth that, by the Holy Spirit, has penetrated the
heart, and therefore has affected mind, emotions, and will. As a shepherd, you will
want to make sure that your group members are spending significant time in
communion with the Lord on a regular basis.
This kind of encouragement is just as helpful for mature believers and as leaders
(including yourself). As leaders, remember to base your own ministry on the
spiritual life; don't base your spiritual life on the ministry.
A PERSONAL PLAN: ELEMENTS

A. Warm up reading "Devotional" reading, outside of the Bible, helps to direct your attention. Read
Sermons, Letters, other practical works (except most works called "devotional")
B. Bible in-take 1. Reading—covering the Bible regularly in a quick (2-3 chapters) read
2. Study—covering one chapter or passage with your own verse-by verse study and
then with a couple of choice reference works
a. Make an outline and give titles to the parts.
b. Note contrasts, comparisons, cause/effects, repetitions within and between
idea units
3. Application—Note commands, promises, sins, examples
C. Meditation: 1. Reflect on the teaching—what is it saying?

(Luther's plan) 2. Praise—What does this teach me of God's excellence? Of his
majesty/greatness? Of his grace/tenderness? Of his wisdom/symmetry?
3. Confession—What sin does this point out? what are the dangers of this sin?
What is the specific nature of the guiltiness of this sin (what aspect of God's
character does it offend, ignore, or deny)? What do I learn about God's grace by
the fact that he redeems this sin?
4. Petition—What do I need? What specific problems result when this quality of
God or this teaching is forgotten or denied? Does my life demonstrate that I am
practicing this teaching? How will I be different if I begin to do so? Where will
I next need this teaching? What kind of love toward God do I most lack and
need --love of appreciation (praise and joy), love of complacency (rest and
peace) or love of benevolence (zeal and boldness)? What "put on" will I need to
practice in order to "put off" this sin?
D. Prayer 1. Praise and recollection. Using the material above under meditation for praise.
2. Confession. Using the material above under meditation for confession.
3. Petition. Using the material above.
E. Self-examination Ask yourself these or similar questions. You may want to focus on one question for a
whole day or even week and then move to the next.
1. Have I been fervent in prayer? Was there warmth? Access?
2. Have I prayed at my stated times? With my family?
3. Have I practiced God's presence, at least every hour?
4. Have I, before every deliberate action or conversation considered how it might
be turned to God's glory?
5. Have I sought to center conversations on the other person's interests and needs
and ultimately toward God, or did I turn it toward my own interests?
6. Have I given thanks to God after every pleasant occurrence or time?
7. Have I thought or spoken unkindly of anyone?
8. Have I been careful to avoid proud thoughts or comparing myself to others?
Have I done things just for appearances? Have I mused on my own fame or
acclaim?
9. Have I been sensitive, warm, and cheerful toward everyone?
Part 4: Pastoral Care Personal Communion with God, 1

4.7
10. Have I been impure in my thoughts or glances?

11. Have I confessed sins toward God or others swiftly?
12. Have I over or under eaten, slept, worked?
13. Have I twisted the truth to look good?
14. Have I been leading in my home, or only reacting to situations?
F. Journal Keeping a record of God's dealings and teaching of you in providential arrangement
of your circumstances. A record of temptations, triumphs, failures, fears, lessons.
ALTERNATIVE SCHEDULES
Half-hour for 1. "Listening" - 7:00-7:15am

beginners a. Study one chapter, record insights, key verse
2. "Responding" - 7:15-7:20am
a. (Three days): Luther's Garland prayer on the key verse. No intercessory
prayer.
b. (Two days): Choose one item from Self-examination in prayer.
3. Intercessory Prayer - 7:20-7:30am
One hour 1. "Listening" - 6:30-7:10am

a. 6:30-6:40 - short devotional reading. Mark key insights.
b. 6:40-7:00 - read three chapters of Bible using M'Cheyne reading calendar
c. 7:00-7:10 - study a fourth chapter
2. "Responding" - 7:10-7:20am
a. (Three days a week): Garland prayer on the Luther plan. No intercessory
prayer.
b. (Two days a week): Self-examination in prayerRecord most significant
prayer themes in journal. Where has God taken you today?
3. Intercessory Prayer - 7:20-7:30am
A Two hour Mini- 1. "Listening" - 6:00-7:00 am

Retreat a. 6:00-6:20 - devotional reading. Record what inspired, surprised, illumined,
convicted
b. 6:20 - record in journal where I am with God and others.
c. 6:20-6:40 - read three chapters of Bible using M'Cheyne reading calendar
d. 6:40-7:00 - study a fourth chapter
2. "Responding" - 7:00-7:30 am
a. (Three days a week): Garland prayer on the Luther plan. No intercessory
prayer.
b. (Two days a week): Self-examination in prayerRecord most significant
prayer themes in journal. Where has God taken you today?
3. Intercessory Prayer - 7:30-8:00 am
4. Family prayer - 15-30 minutes in the evening.
Part 4: Pastoral Care Personal Communion with God, 2

4.8
Spiritual Gifts and Ministry

Ministry in the New Testament revolves around Christians using their spiritual gifts.
Shepherding growing Christians includes helping that person mature into service
within the body of Christ. One of the best ways to help is to guide that person into
the best place for them to serve.
THE IMPORTANCE OF SPIRITUAL GIFTS
1. God demands that we use our gifts as stewards (I Peter 4:10; Matt. 25)
2. We will only come to experience all the fulfillment and meaning available in
Christ as we exercise our gifts. (Why are so many names based on a vocation,
like Miller, Fisher, Smith? Because we find identity in a calling.)
3. We will be able to make better decisions about life goals if we know our gifts.
(Romans 12:3-8)
THE NATURE AND PLACE OF SPIRITUAL GIFTS
Gifts and the Body of 1. Unity in diversity. Despite the fact that we are all different, Christians have a
Christ (Ephesians4:1- common experience. See Eph 4:3 - the unity of the church is always to be
6) maintained, not attained. It is there to start with. Why? We all share the Holy
Spirit. He has convicted us all of sin, righteousness, and judgment (John 16:8).
We are a living temple of the Spirit. In the Old Testament, the stones of the
temple were shaped at the quarry, so at the building site, there was no sound of
hammer or chisel. When the stones came together, they fit. So we are one in
the spirit.
2. Diversity in unity. The same agent that makes us one, the Holy Spirit, also
makes us very different. The Spirit brings diversity in unity through spiritual
gifts.
a. Christ's ministry is through gifts. (Eph 4:16; cf. 1:22). Spiritual gifts are
all the ministry powers of Jesus Christ divided up and distributed to
members of his Body. Spiritual gifts are powers of expressing,
celebrating, displaying, and communicating Christ through the power of
Christ. Through us, Christ continues to minister to the world. (See Eph
2:17 - "[Christ] came and preached peace to you".) Illustration: A mosaic
is a glorious picture. But it is made up of tiny pieces of colored glass.
Each one is pretty, but meaningless in isolation. So, all Christians
together, show the world Jesus Christ in all the glory of his mediatorial
ministry.
b. Christ's governance is through gifts. (Eph 4:11) If you could place all
human forms of government on a continuum from total democracy to total
dictatorship, where would the church be? Off the line altogether! In a
democracy, the people choose the leader; in a totalitarian state the leaders
choose themselves. In the church, Christ chooses leaders through
assigning gifts. The people only recognize the gifts. And the blueprint for
the church (the kinds of ministries God desires for it) are determined by
the gifts assigned to the members. Discover the church's gifts and you
have discovered the philosophy of ministry of the church. Truly, Christ
governs his church through spiritual gifts.
Part 4: Pastoral Care Spiritual Gifts and Ministry, 1

4.8
Gifts and the Kingdom The Kingdom of God is the renewal of the world through the introduction of
of Christ(4:6-8) supernatural forces (Eph. 1:9-10).
1. Sin has created alienation in all of life:
a. Spiritual alienation. Gen. 3:8 We are cut off from God.
b. Psychological alienation. Gen. 3:10 We are cut off from ourselves.
Anxiety, lack of identity, meaninglessness, guilt
c. Social alienation. Gen. 3:7, 16 Broken families, crime, injustice, war,
poverty
d. Physical alienation. Gen. 3:17-19 Sickness, pollution, death
2. Spiritual gifts are kingdom powers. They are abilities to minister in such a way
as to bring people more under the Kingship of Christ which brings restoration.
Spiritual gifts are powers to attack all the alienations caused by sin in every
area of life.
THE DEFINITION OF SPIRITUAL GIFTS

What? An enablement to meet the needs of people...
How? ...given by the Holy Spirit on the basis of God's free grace...
Why? ...in such a way that people are brought more under the Lordship of Christ
with the result that the Body of Christ is built up in quality and quantity.
"Ability to speak or act in a particular way -- performing ability, as we may call
it -is only a charisma if and as God uses it to edify. Some natural abilities
[talents]that God has given he never uses in this way, while sometimes he
edifies through performances that to competent judges seem substandard...What
constitutes and identifies a charisma is not the form of the action but the
blessing of God" – .I. Packer, Keep in Step With the Spirit, p. 84-85
The Distribution of 1. He gives gifts to every Christian (I Cor.12:7; I Peter 4:10)

Spiritual Gifts
2. Gifts are received at regeneration. (Paul can confidently speak in the past tense
about gifts. To each has been given...)
3. Gifts apparently are life-long. There is no indication they are lost or removed
(though they can be ineffective--see below). After all, does your hand turn into
a shoulder or your foot into a kidney during your lifetime? Nor does Jesus'
Body shift around like a kaleidoscope.
4. Gifts are given in clusters. Paul had several gifts. Some people are called
"pastor-teachers" (Eph.4:11) though "teacher" exists by itself as a gift.
Evidently, people can have several gifts.
5. Further diversity is seen in I Cor. 12:4-6. There are many gifts, many ministries
(avenues for using gifts, e.g. some can teach children, some can teach large
groups, some can teach cross-culturally, etc.) and many energizings (levels of
power or effectiveness). In other words, every Christian is unique as a
snowflake! Each person has a unique combination of gift clusters, ministry
abilities, power levels, background experience, etc. There are some good works
prepared for you (Eph.2:10) that only you can do.
6. Further diversity lies in the probability that the gift lists are not complete. Since
each of the major lists (Romans 12, I Cor. 12/14, Eph. 4) is illustrative and not
exhaustive, why should the combined gift lists be so? Probably, every Christian
duty or ministry mentioned in the Scripture can be a spiritual gift.

4.8
IMPORTANT DISTINCTIONS
Gifts are not natural Talents are given to all people to enrich creation. Gifts are given to Christians to
talents edify the Body. God may adopt a talent and bless it as a spiritual gift, but not
necessarily. It is critical that we do not automatically assume that a person with a
talent for public speaking will have the gift of teaching, that a person with the talent
for business management will have the gift of administration, etc.
Gifts are not spiritual 1. Spiritual fruit have to do with character--what you are. Gifts have to do with
fruit abilities and skills--what you do. Every Christian should have all the spiritual
fruit. No. Christian can have all the spiritual gifts.
2. Gifts without fruit is like a tire without air. Without holiness and godliness,
eventually, gifts become ineffective. Beware, though! Gifts can operate when
you are spiritually backsliding. You often will find a situation bringing out your
gift; you will feel like you are close to God. But that is a gift-operation of the
Spirit. Ministers can minister effectively for a good while after they have
forsaken God in their heart for some sin.
3. The Bible even tells us that some non-Christians (see Judas or the people in
Matt. 7:21) have gifts. God uses them to do good things in his kingdom despite
their own refusal to submit to him in their hearts. Beware of judging your
Christianity by how much you do. "By their fruit (not gifts) ye shall know
them."
Gifts are not Christian All the gifts are also Christian duties, things God commands us to do. Every
duties. Christian is commanded to witness, give, have faith, etc., but not everyone has the
gift of evangelism, giving, faith, etc. This must be carefully born in mind to avoid
two extreme mistakes:
a. Gift cop-out. That forgets all gifts are also roles. It says, "I don't want to
witness; that's not my gift."
b. Gift projection. That forgets all roles are not gifts. It writes books saying,
"Since I can lead someone to Christ every week, so can you!" A person
doing gift projection lays guilt on anyone who is not as enthusiastic or as
successful for a ministry as he is.
2. People without gifts in evangelism, counseling, should get training in these

areas and seek to minister in those areas, even if it will usually be in an informal
way. If you have a gift, get advanced training and use the gift in a structured
way through the church.
DISCOVERING AND USING YOUR SPIRITUAL GIFTS
The basic outline is found in Romans 12:3-6: Look at your self (v.3), look at how the
Body works (v.4-5), try and use the abilities (v.6).
Look at yourself 1. Check out your desires and inclinations. Are there some things you really enjoy
doing?
2. Check out your perceptions. Are there some needs and problems that you are
very sensitive to and burdened by?
Look at the Body Learn what the gifts are. Read books on the gifts. Do Bible study on each gift. You
won't be able to recognize gifts in yourself unless you have a clear concept of what
they actually are.

4.8
Use the abilities 1. Experiment with as many Christian roles as possible. Get all sorts of training
and experience. It is just as important to find the gifts you don't have as the gifts
you do have.
2. Evaluate your spiritual effectiveness. Be sure there are real spiritual results.
Don't assume that a talent will be a gift.
3. Expect confirmation from the Body. You are not to rely on your own judgment.
DEFINITIONS AND USES OF SPECIFIC SPIRITUAL GIFTS

Scriptural Sources for 1. The three key Biblical lists of spiritual gifts:
Specific Gifts
Romans 12:6-8: prophecy, exhortation, service, giving, teaching, leadership,
mercy Corinthians 12:8-10, 28 (not mentioned above): wisdom, tongues,
knowledge, interpretation, faith, apostle, healing, helps, discernment,
administration Ephesians 4:11 (not mentioned above): evangelist, pastor.
2. Other spiritual gifts appear to be mentioned which are not on the list of gifts: for
example, singleness? (I Cor. 7:7), hospitality?(I Pet. 4:9-10), missionary?
(Eph.3:1-9)
Review: The gift lists are not complete; it is likely that any Christian duty or ministry
can be a gift (e.g. prayer). We should be open to the possibility of other gifts not on
the gift list.
Classification of Three Biblical categories:

Spiritual Gifts
1. I Peter 4:10 - "lalein" or word gifts. Gifts which require or center on
verbalization.
2. I Peter 4:10 -"diakonia" or deed gifts. Gifts which require or center on actions,
not talking.
3. I Corinthians 14:22; Heb.2:4 -"sign gifts". Tongues and miracles are pointers to
the power and truth of the gospel. We believe these gifts ceased after the NT.
SUMMARY OF SPIRITUAL GIFTS AND BASIC DEFINITIONS

Speaking Prophecy: To apply the Word of God to people's situations in a way that is clear, direct, and
Gifts relevant.
Teaching: To communicate truth to others in such a clear and orderly way that people learn
and retain
Evangelist: To share the gospel with people so that they become disciples of Jesus Christ.
Pastor: To assume the long-term responsibility for the spiritual growth and welfare of a
believer or a group of believers.
Exhortation: To speak to troubled people so that they are comforted, encouraged, and helped.
Discernment: To know whether teaching, motives, and/or behavior is divine, human, or
demonic in origin.
Apostle: Class #1: To receive divine revelation from God and to exercise authority in planting
the church in new areas. Class #2: To plant and/or exercise leadership over a number of
churches.
Deed gifts Leadership: To set goals for a group of people and then to motivate the people to work
harmoniously towards those goals.
Administration: To organize and execute plans to reach goals using resources in the most
efficient way.
Giving: To contribute one' material resources with great cheerfulness and liberality, and to do
so in such a way that bears spiritual fruit.
Service: To see and meet temporal needs, especially in such areas that are involved in tasks
related to God's work.

4.8
Helps: The ability to invest time and talents into the lives of other Christians, thus freeing them
to be more effective in their ministries.
Mercy: The ability to feel love and sympathy for people who are suffering, to alleviate the
suffering through kind deeds.
Hospitality - The ability to generously and cheerfully open one's home for food and lodging to
others in such a way as to minister spiritually to them.
Faith - The ability to understand and work for God's will and purposes with exceptional
confidence.
Wisdom - apply truth and knowledge to concrete situations in such a way as to know the best
course of action in any situation
Knowledge: To discover, organize, relate and classify information and ideas.
Plus : Prayer? Craftsmanship? Music? Missionary? Martyr? Celibacy?
SPEAKING GIFTS IN DETAIL

Prophesy The ability to apply the Word of God to people's situations in a way that is clear,
direct, and relevant.
Biblical principles
a. Many people believe prophecy to be a direct revealing by God to our minds
information (often about the future) which would otherwise be unknown. It is
sometimes claimed that this is a gift which largely had ceased in the church.
b. However, the Bible tells us that prophecy is something all believers can and
should do (Joel 2:28-32; Acts 2:17-21). A prophet was never in a trance or a
frenzy, but was in complete control (I Cor. 14:32). As with other gifts, all
Christians were expected to prophecy (Acts 19:6; I Cor. 14:1, 23-25, 31), men
as well as women (I Cor.11:5), yet not all people were called "prophets" (I
Cor. 12:29).
c. Although the prophets before and after Pentecost foretold the future, the
essence of prophecy was to apply the truth of God to the people rather than to
supplement the truth. (Ex. 7:1-2; I Cor. 14:3). In the Old Testament, prophets
were "covenant lawyers". So in the New Testament, they preached the truth for
conversion (I Cor. 14:24-25) and encouragement (Acts 15:32).
d. Prophecy was not ordinarily considered new words from God. It was to be
weighed and evaluated (I Cor., 14:29) according to the apostolic revelation (I
Cor. 14:37-38) which was never to be weighed and evaluated! Thus an apostle
was bringing new words from God, but a prophet was a preacher of the word
given the power of the spirit to drive words home.
Teaching The ability to communicate truth to others in such a clear and orderly way that
people learn and retain.
Biblical principles
a. Again, all believers are expected to teach (Heb. 5:12). An inability to impart
truth to others is a sign of spiritual lethargy or backsliding.
b. Nevertheless, not all are teachers (I Cor. 12:29). Teaching and prophecy are
the only gifts mentioned in all three major gift lists. The only gift which Paul
urges the church to seek is prophecy, but only teachers have a frightening
responsibility laid on them (James 3:1). They will be judged more harshly.
c. Teaching is the ability to make distinctions and to bring order out of confusion.
see Leviticus 10:10-11.
d. Teaching aims more at the understanding, while prophecy aims more at the
will. Nevertheless, teachers aren't out to only fill up the intellect: (1) Teachers
seek to train people to discern good from evil (Heb.5:14; Eph. 4:14) so they
can base their lives and relationships on it (Eph.4: 15-16). (2) Teachers aim to
train people how to minister using their own gifts (Eph. 4:11-13).
e. See also I Tim. 1:3-4; II Tim. 2:24-26; 3:15-17; 4:2,3; Titus 1:9-16; Acts
18:24-28.

4.8
Evangelist The ability to share the gospel with people so that they become disciples of Jesus
Christ.
Biblical principles
a. Every believer must witness (Acts 8:4-6), but not every believer has the gift of
evangelism (Eph. 4:11).
b. Philip was an evangelist (Acts 21:8). He did not necessarily preach to exercise
this gift.(Acts 8).An evangelist shares the Word (v.4) and seeks to do nothing
but present Christ (v.5). Besides preaching (v.4), the evangelist can initiate
personal encounters with individuals through questions (v.30-31).
c. An evangelistic gift is seen in its effectiveness. The evangelist is able to get
people's attention (v.6) and bring many to a decision (v.12, 36-38)
d. See also Rom. 10:1-17; Acts 5:42; 14:21-23; II Tim. 4:5.
Pastor The ability to assume the long-term responsibility for the spiritual growth and
welfare of a believer or a group of believers.
Biblical principles
a. A "pastor" is a shepherd, one who feeds, protects, and raises sheep. A pastor
may or may not be a teacher, a counselor, etc. The essence of pastoring is to
foster growth, both negatively (healing a hurt, defending from enemies) and
positively (leading to nourishment, guiding in a right direction). If a pastor
cannot teach, he gets the sheep to someone who can. He assumes
responsibility very effectively for spiritual welfare. Some today would call this
the gift of `discipling'. Pastors make better disciplers than prophets, teachers,
or exhorters.
b. Acts 20: 18ff., Heb. 13:7, 17; I Peter 5:1-5; Psalm 23; John 10:1-18 all discuss
in great detail the work of a pastor. There we see a pastor (1) is sure his people
are fed from the word of God (2) protects them from spiritual error (3) shares
time and inner life with people so as to teach by example (4) offers personal
counsel and advice, etc.
c. The gift of pastor differs from exhortation (below) in that a pastor may not be
exceptional in crisis counseling or admonition/persuasion, but over the long
run, has a significant impact on the course of a person's life.
d. This gift is a qualification for the ordained office of ‘pastor-teacher’ in the
church. But it is by no means a gift that can only be exercised in that office. In
Titus 2:4, older women are told in effect to pastor the younger women. For
more on pastoring, see II Tim. 4:11-16.
NOTE: Gifts are not the same as offices. An officer (such as, say, a ruling elder)
must have from God a set of gifts as well as a set of personal characteristics. So, for
example, an elder must be a man (I Tim. 2:12; I Tim. 3:2), and therefore, a woman,
though she does have a leadership gift, cannot exercise it there.

4.8
Exhortation The ability to speak to troubled people so that they are comforted, encourage, and
helped.
Biblical Principles -
a. The Greek for "exhortation" is really "encouragement". It is parakaleo meaning
to "call alongside". To exhort is not to say either "get going" or "do what I've
done" but "lets do this together". An exhorter is good at putting him or
herself in another's shoes and understanding them.
b. All Christians are ordered to exhort one another daily (Heb. 3:13; cf. Heb.
10:24-25). But, of course, all Christians do not have the gift of exhortation.
c. One major difference between exhortation and prophecy is that exhortation
does not seem as much to be used through public speaking. However, a gifted
exhorter could effectively address a group of people (e.g. the writer of the
book of Hebrews) and a prophet could do effective personal counseling.
d. Exhorters are gifted to help people who are being mistreated (Acts 14:22-23),
who are experiencing any kind of suffering (II Cor. 1:3-9), who are being
disobedient (II Thess. 3:11-13), who are getting frustrated and impatient (I
Thess. 5:1-11), who are resentful and having interpersonal problems (Phil.
4:2), or who are getting spiritually dead and hard (Heb. 3:13).
e. An exhorter is patient (I Thess. 5:14), gentle, affectionate, and personal (I
Thess. 2:7-11), respectful (I Tim. 5:1-2), positive and non-contentious (II Tim.
2:24-26). The exhorter bases his statements on the Word (Rom.15:4; II Tim.
4:1-4).
f. See also the entire book of Hebrews, which is "exhortation" (Heb.13:22).
Study all its techniques, especially the alternating of warning with comforting.
g. Although the most obvious use of this gift is in counseling, keep in mind that
because of the variety of kinds of problems and kinds of people, a variety of
spiritual gifts can equip a Christian to counsel effectively. Prophecy is helpful
when a person especially needs to be rebuked. Mercy is strong on sympathy,
sensitivity, and listening. Discernment may be helpful in counseling a phony
(!) or in guidance counseling. Often the counselee needs simple instruction in a
particular area, and so a teacher is needed (but that teacher may not be able to
listen!) A careful study of exhortation indicates that this gift equips a person
best to confront and to comfort, so it is a great gift for a counselor.
Nevertheless, no Christian is equipped to handle all kinds of persons or all
kinds of problems. Only the whole Body of Christ can make that claim!
Discernment The ability to know whether teaching, motives, and/or behavior is divine, human, or
demonic in origin.
Biblical principles
a. In I Cor. 12:10 this gift is called "discerning of spirits", and at least once we
seem to have an example where the gift detects demonic activity (Acts 16:16-
22). But in I Thess. 5:19-22 discernment is something enjoined to all Christian
people. It means to test and try everything to judge what is good and evil.(cf.
Heb.5:12-14)
b. The usual exercise of this gift is broader than this. In I John 4:1-5 (cf. I Cor.
14:29) we are told that discerning of spirits means to test the doctrinal
soundness of teaching by the word of God. In I Cor. 6:1-6 Paul says the church
contains people with discernment who can act as judges in disputes. Thus
discernment can include insight into motives and the workings of the heart.

4.8
Apostle Class #1 - The ability to receive divine revelation from God and to exercise authority
in planting the church in new areas. Class #2 (Modern) - The ability to plant and/or
exercise leadership over a number of churches.
Biblical principles
a. The "twelve" (and Paul) were eye witnesses of the risen Christ and were
recipients of divine revelation as well as the high authority that went with such
an ability. (I Cor. 9:1-2; 15:7-9; II Cor. 12:12; II Thess. 3:14; John 14: 7-10,
26; 15:15)
b. Besides the twelve, there were other men who were called "apostles" in a more
general sense. Silas (I Thess.2:6 with Acts 17:4), Barnabus (Acts 14:14),
Apollos? (I Cor. 4:6,9), Andronicus and Junias? (Rom. 16:7).
c. The function of these apostles was that of a missionary church planter. They
initiated churches and then adjudicated matters of policy and personnel
deployment (see Acts 15:22). The "apostle" gift today is seen in leaders who
are exceptionally blessed not only in foreign missions work, but in breaking
new ground in new fields of ministry with the gospel.
d. See also John 13:16; Acts 8:14-16; 11:1-18; Matt. 10:2ff.; Eph. 2:19-22; II
Cor. 8:23 with 8:18-19, 22; Rev. 21:4.
HIGH VISIBILITY DEED GIFTS

Leadership The ability to set goals for a group of people and then to motivate the people to work
harmoniously towards those goals.
Biblical principles
a. In Rom. 12:8 the gift translated "leadership" is proistemi, meaning to move
with speed. In Titus 3:8 and 14, the same word in the context means to
"persevere" or to "maintain". This gift requires, Paul tells us, "diligence" or
"zeal" (Rom. 12:8).
b. A leader has three jobs, Biblically: (1) giving the people direction, vision
(Sheep without a leader wander aimlessly- Judges 17:6; Matt. 9:36). See
Nehemiah 2: 17-18.
(2) helping each person to see what part he or she must do. See Nehemiah 3.
(3) solving problems and helping people get along harmoniously. See Neh 4-5.
c. The spiritual gift of leadership is distinguished from the human talent of
leadership by the leader’s motives and attitude (Mark 10:42-45; I Peter 5:2-3).
Administration The ability to organize and execute plans to reach goals using resources in the most
efficient way.
Biblical principles
a. I Cor. 12:28 lists a gift called "administration" using different word than that
used for "leadership" in Rom. 12:8. This word is also used to describe the pilot
of a ship (Acts 27:11). Notice that the pilot is not the chief officer of the ship.
The centurion is the real leader. The pilot gets directions from the leader and
decides the practical ways to direct the ship to the appointed goals.
b. It appears that an administration gift by itself equips a person to operate very
efficiently, especially in getting things done. Read Exodus 18:13-26 to see
Moses' gift of administration in handling the problem of two many legal cases
within the nation of Israel. (Moses had the gift of leadership, too!)
NOTE: What gifts equip a person for the Gospel ministry? Although men need not
be equally gifted in all these areas, no man who is weak in the required skills should
be admitted to office.
1. Ruling elders must have the gift of pastor (I Peter 5:1-5; cf. Acts 20:28) and
leadership (I Tim. 5:17; Rom. 12:8).
2. Preaching elders must have these two gifts plus the gift of speaking and
teaching (ITim.5:17).

4.8
LOW VISIBILITY DEED GIFTS

Giving The ability to contribute one' material resources with great cheerfulness and
liberality, and to do so in such a way that bears spiritual fruit.
Biblical principles
a. Every Christian is held responsible to give liberally (II Cor. 8:3) and cheerfully
(II Cor. 9:7). God promises to bless people and you through such giving (II
Cor. 9:12).
b We can probably be safe in assuming that these characteristics would be even
stronger in a person with the gift of giving. The person:
(1) Gives great proportions of his/her income
(2) Gives with great joy and without fear and anxiety often accompanying
sacrificial giving.
(3) Gives with the result of unusual spiritual blessing to those individuals and
organizations chosen. Some people with this gift seem to have increased
discernment to spot needs.
c. A person does not have to be wealthy to have this gift (II Cor. 8:2).
d. As one example of how financial giving can have spiritual impact, study the
effects of the Phillipians' gift on Paul (Phil. 4:16-19).
Service The ability to invest time and talents into the lives of other Christians, thus freeing
them to be more effective in their ministries.
Biblical principles
a. It is difficult to distinguish between this gift and "service", but the overall use
of this word tends to indicate that it is more specific than diakonia. It seems to
refer to a “one on one" ministry in which the helper meets the temporal needs
of someone else to free him up to use his gifts. It means, literally, to "take for"
someone else.
b. In Acts 20:34-35 Paul says "I worked with my hands to supply my own
needs...by this kind of hard work we must support the weak" Here the word is
used to mean “support".
c. In Luke 8:1-3, we are told that a group of women attached themselves to Jesus
and the apostles to provide them with food and other necessities. This was a
supportive ministry which freed them up to minister their own gifts.
d. In Numbers 11:16-17, certain elders are chosen to help Moses carry out
administrative duties to free him up from the burden. It is clear that this was a
person-centered (Moses-centered) ministry which was spiritually endowed
(v.17).
e. Persons with these gifts are excellent at aiding and supporting leaders in
ministry.

4.8
Helps The ability to invest time and talents into the lives of other Christians, thus freeing
them to be more effective in their ministries.
Biblical principles -
a. It is difficult to distinguish between this gift and "service", but the overall use
of this word tends to indicate that it is more specific than diakonia. It seems to
refer to a "one on one" ministry in which the helper meets the temporal needs
of someone else to free him up to use his gifts. It means, literally, to "take for"
someone else.
b. In Acts 20:34-35 Paul says "I worked with my hands to supply my own
needs...by this kind of hard work we must support the weak" Here the word is
used to mean "support".
c. In Luke 8:1-3, we are told that a group of women attached themselves to Jesus
and the apostles to provide them with food and other necessities. This was a
supportive ministry which freed them up to minister their own gifts.
d. In Numbers 11:16-17, certain elders are chosen to help Moses carry out
administrative duties to free him up from the burden. It is clear that this was a
person-centered (Moses-centered) ministry which was spiritually endowed
(v.17).
e. Persons with these gifts are excellent at aiding and supporting leaders in
ministry.
Mercy The ability to feel love and sympathy for people who are suffering, to alleviate the
suffering through kind deeds.
Biblical principles
a. All Christians are to show mercy to the helpless and the suffering (I Thess.
5:14). Yet not everyone has the gift of mercy.
b. The attribute of God called "mercy" refers to the fact that God is moved by the
sight of suffering to compassionately relieve it. So, in man, mercy is the deep
capacity for sympathy for the suffering.
c. Notice that in Luke 17:11-14; Matt. 20:30-34; Mark 10:46-52, Jesus' response
to suffering lepers and blind men is called "mercy". He had compassion on the
disfigured and unlovely people which the world shuns and ignores. The classic
example of mercy is the parable of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:29-37, see v.
37).
d. A person with the gift of mercy can stand to be in the presence of persons or
situations that most people would find unpleasant.
Hospitality The ability to generously and cheerfully open one's home for food and lodging to
others in such a way as to minister spiritually to them.
Biblical principles
a. It is possible that I Peter 4:9,10 could be read like this: "Exercise hospitality;
and whatever your gift is, use it."
b. All Christians have the duty of hospitality (Romans 12:9-13). Church officers
must not be weak in hospitality (Titus 1:8). But experience shows that some
people have a special ability to bless people spiritually even while refreshing
them emotionally and physically through an open home.
c. The Greek word for hospitality means literally "love for strangers". This means
that: (1) We should share our home with anyone: strangers (Heb.13:2), needy
brethren (Rom.12:13), brethren (Romans 12:10), traveling Christian workers
(III John 5-10). NOTE: We are to refuse it only to people who are propagating
false religion. (I doubt this means we cannot invite cultists into our homes. It
means that we cannot give such people the kind of support and strengthening
which will encourage their ministry.)
(2) Lev. 19:33, 34 tells us something of the actual nature of hospitality. The
stranger must be treated "as one of your own". This is a basis for the
important distinction between "entertaining" and hospitality. In

4.8
hospitality, the guest is treated and accepted as part of the family.

Obviously, a healthy home life is a tremendous foundation for the gift of
hospitality. Again, godliness increases the effectiveness of a gift.
However, some persons exercise a hospitality gift with an unsaved spouse
and children.
(3) A clear mark of hospitality is that it is done "without grumbling" (I Peter
4:9). That is, the person with a hospitality gift does not find it wearing to
have his/her privacy disrupted and living space encroached upon. (This is
not to say that everyone does not need privacy, but people without the gift
of hospitality are more quickly exhausted by hospitality.) It is the
hospitable Christian's love and openness that is so spiritually refreshing.
d. See Genesis 18:1-8 for an example of hospitality. Gen. 18 is the reason for the
warning of Heb. 13:2. See also Acts 16:15; Romans 16:23.
Special Note The gifts of service, helps, giving, mercy, and hospitality are gifts that exist in large
numbers throughout the Body of Christ. It is very possible that persons with these
diaconal gift clusters outnumber other kinds of gifts and gift clusters. Yet churches
seldom have many established offices and programs which can harness the
tremendous potential of these members of the Body. The standard positions for
"church workers" are for teachers, leaders, and administrators.
But Jesus was mighty in word and deed (Luke 24:19). He came to proclaim and to
set at liberty those who are oppressed (Luke 4:18-19). In the church, ministry to the
physical-material needs of people was given to the deacons, who were to mobilize
the gifts of the Body for ministry inside and outside the church.
1. Inside the church there is the need:
a. For workers to do the innumerable errands and tasks surrounding the
ministries ofthe church, such as set-up, maintenance or facilities, food
preparation, etc. (Gifts of service)
b. For workers to stir up, encourage, and under gird the ministry of
stewardship in the congregation. (Gifts of giving and administration)
c. For workers to meet physical-material needs of individuals in the church,
such as the elderly, the sick and shut-in, the disabled, the single-parent
family, the institutionalized, the unemployed, the bereaved, or the victims
of any other financial or natural disaster or mishap. (Gifts of service,
helps, mercy, giving, hospitality)
2. Outside the church, diaconally gifted workers need to be teamed with
evangelistically gifted workers in ministries to the general community, namely,
to the poor, the prisoners, the aged, the widows and orphans, the refugee, the
mentally and physically disabled, and disaster victims. Child care services,
problem pregnancy counseling, meals on wheels, big brother/sister programs,
clothing exchanges, job placement/counseling, economic cooperatives,
substance abuse counseling, financial counseling, health clinics, community
centers are just a few of the ways in which churches may use the multitude of
diaconal gifts in our midst.

4.8
DECISION MAKING DEED GIFTS

Faith The ability to understand and work for God's will and purposes with exceptional
confidence.
Biblical principles
a. Obviously, faith in Jesus Christ is something all Christians have (Rom. 1:17;
3:21-25), yet Paul says that not all Christians have the gift of faith (I Cor.
12:9).
b. The Bible tells us that faith has these effects on us: (1) Romans 4:18-21 tells
us that faith enables us to persevere in obedience to God when public opinion,
folk wisdom, and even common sense militates against it. (2) Matt. 17:19-21;
Mark 11:22-24 indicates that prayer gives us confidence for the success of
even big "mountain" ministry tasks. The apostles could not drive out demons
for their lack of faith.
c. If these are the effects of faith in all of our lives, we could expect a person with
the gift of faith to have them in greater proportion. When a person uses faith as
a gift it encourages and strengthens individuals, groups, and can galvanize the
whole church into action.
Wisdom The ability to apply truth and knowledge to concrete situations in such a way as to
know the best course of action in any situation.
Biblical principles
a. All Christians can attain wisdom (James 1:5-8), yet there is a spiritual gift of
wisdom (I Cor. 12:7,8; Deut. 34:9)
b. In the Bible, there are a large number of words all translated as "wisdom". All
are related to the basic definition of wisdom, namely, to know the most
practical means to achieve godly goals. One word for wisdom, shakal, means
"to be successful".
c. In I Kings 3:5-28 we see Solomon asking for the gift of wisdom. Solomon in
the incident recorded, is able to devise the best plan for revealing which person
was telling a lie. Notice he did not have spiritual discernment directly into who
was telling a lie; he used wisdom to find out. Wisdom is problem-centered;
discernment is people-centered.
d. Wisdom is a natural companion to administration, though they are not
identical. A wise person may not be terribly organized! Acts 6:3, and 10 show
that church officers can use the gift of wisdom. See also II Pet.3:15; I Cor.2:1-
13; James 1:5-6.
Knowledge The ability to discover, organize, relate and classify information and ideas. Biblical
principles
a. All Christians have knowledge (Rom.15:14), but not all have the gift of
knowledge (I Cor. 12:8).
b. In I Cor. 13:2, the person with knowledge can "fathom mysteries". He or she is
able to “get his mind around" big ideas or a lot of ideas. He can create helpful
intellectual constructs that enable him to process lots of information in a
comprehensible form.
c. We must be careful to distinguish a naturally brilliant mind from the spiritual
gift of knowledge. In Matt. 16:13-17, Peter "puts it all together". He had
received a lot of pieces of information about Jesus over a period of time, but
finally he sees how they all tie together. Jesus tells him that this knowledge is
a gift of God.
d. Eph.3:14-19 says that the spiritual gift of knowledge helps the person to
comprehend the "height, width, depth, and breadth". For more on this gift, see
Col. 2:2-3.

4.8
OTHER POTENTIAL SPIRITUAL GIFTS OR TALENTS

Intercessory Prayer The ability to have special perseverance and joy in intercessory prayer and to have
significant effectiveness in answered prayer.
Biblical principles
a. Intercessory prayer is strenuous (Col.4:2; Luke 22:40-46). When done properly
it takes a great deal of physical and spiritual energy. Prayer is "wrestling" (Col.
4:2)
b. Intercessory prayer is time consuming (see how the church prayed for Peter
when he was imprisoned -Acts 12:1-17, esp. v. 5, 12)
c. Intercessory prayer is to be specific (Col.1:9-12)
d. Although we have no mention of prayer as a spiritual gift, experience indicates
that some persons do have such a gift. When they pray in public, they make all
around them better at prayer too!
Craftsmanship The ability to use hands and minds to further the kingdom of God through creative,
artistic means.
Biblical Principles – In the Old Testament we are told that God can inspire artistic
abilities in people which function as a spiritual gift. See II Chron. 34:9-13; Ex.30:22-
25; 31:3-11.
Music The ability to use music to enhance the worship and joy of other believers in the
Lord.
Biblical principles - Possibly, David's ability to musically banish Saul's depression
was a spiritual gift (I Samuel 16). See also I Chron. 16:41-42; II Chron. 5:12-13;
34:12; Deut. 31:22.
Missionary The ability to minister in a culture which is not native to the gift-bearer.
Biblical principles
a. Paul claims to have this gift, though it is not mentioned in any of the gift lists
(Eph.3:6-8).
b. In I Cor. 9:19-23, Paul describes this gift in some detail. A missionary
voluntarily (v.19) humbles himself (v.19) to become a servant to people who
are very different from him. He adapts his ministry to each culture (v. 20-22).
And he bears fruit in that culture (v.23)
c. This gift like the other "heavy duty" gifts (missionary, martyrdom, celibacy) is
actually the ability to use other gifts in difficult situations.
d. Study also Acts 13:1-3; Acts 14:21-28 for more on the work of the missionary.
Martyrdom The ability to be undaunted by physical danger and to minister joyfully in such a
context, through suffering and even to death.
Biblical principles - Paul mentions martyrdom along with a list of other gifts (I Cor.
13:3). All Christians who are grown in grace should be able to face suffering and
death (Romans 5:1-4), but it is possible that martyrdom is a special calling for some
(see Acts 7:54-60; Acts 8:1-4)
Celibacy The ability to minister as a single person with cheerfulness and without much sexual
temptation.
Biblical principles - Paul describes another gift which is simply an ability to use
other gifts in certain difficult situations. Celibacy (I Cor. 7:7-8) is also mentioned by
Jesus (Matt. 19:10-12) that can be done for the sake of the kingdom. Of course, all
Christians who are single can minister. Though you may not have the gift of sexual
abstinence, it is still your duty (I Cor. 6:13-20)!

4.9
Time And Stress Management For Leaders

BIBLICAL INSIGHT
"Walk circumspectly, then—not as unwise but as wise, redeeming the time,
because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the
Lord's will is." — Ephesians 5:15-17
1. The problem of time management: "not as unwise but as wise." There are a
remarkable number of problems caused by poor time management (everything
from depression and physical illness to economic failure).1 Time management,
therefore, is an issue of wisdom. As leaders and shepherds, we need to care for
our own time management in addition to helping other leaders whom we may
be responsible for.
2. The principle of time management: "redeem the time." Literally "to make a
killing" in the market, to get the very most out of an investment. Time is thus
seen as a resource to be invested in such a way as to get the most dividends for
Christ's kingdom.
3. The practice of time management:
a. "walk circumspectly." Time management does not happen spontaneously.
To be" circumspect" is literally to look around, to plan, think ahead, reflect.
b. "therefore . . . understand . . . the Lord's will." Knowing and setting
priorities is central to time management. God's word shapes priorities. Two
ways to find God's priority.
(1) God's word. Look carefully at what it means to be a steward of your
relationship to God, your health, relationships.
(2) God's calling. To do what God has gifted you to do—that gives God the
best return.
God could not give you more to do in a day than you could do. Therefore, if you
have more than you can do, some of it is not his will for you—it's from someone
else!
TIME MANAGEMENT — ITS EVOLUTION
1. “Checklists” Stephen R. Covey speaks about "four generations" of time management thinking.2
"Most of the first time management tools were variations on the simple list.
"Checking off the list" provided first a fuller overview of all demands on your time,
second an accountability tool for your memory, and third a "reward"—of the
checked off list, a visual picture of what you accomplished.
Sum:
(1) Make a list.
(2) Do it without procrastinating.
Problems: No correlation between the list and what we want to accomplish.
Reactive.
1
Ralph Keyes, Time Lock: How Life Got So Hectic and What You Can Do About It (HarperCollins,
1991). See pp. 110 - "Time Sickness"
2
Stephen R. Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People (Simon and Schuster, 1989) "Put First
Things First", pp. 145ff.
Part 4: Pastoral Care Time and Stress Management for Leaders, 1

4.9
2. “Calendars" Most of the second generation of time management tools combined the To Do list
with calendars. These tools aimed to have you actually spread the "to do" list out
over time a period of time. Often it helped you break tasks into steps and parts. (e.g.
Variations on "PERT" diagrams and Gantt charts). It added a second dimension to
time management.
Sum:
(1) Make a list.
(2) Schedule it out.
Problems: Better—less reactive! But scheduling the future can make you too
inflexible. Stifles creativity. Still not selective in what you do.
3. "Priorities" Most of the current generation of time management tools combined lists and
calendars with a third dimension—"prioritization". Goals for day, week, year are
first set, then tasks and activities are evaluated in light of the goals as to importance.
Then comes the rest!
Sum:
(1) Set goals.
(2) Make a list.
(3) Prioritize.
(4) Schedule/do the most important things first.
Problems: Best so far. Better—more selective and flexible. But the complexity
of the tool(s) make people feel too scheduled, too restricted, and the planning
of the schedule becomes too complex and time consuming.
The bottom line: time management tools tend to make us feel more "time-locked",
not less. Typically, the person who uses a "3rd generation" tool tends to regress to
1st and 2nd generation tools, simply to feel more spontaneous and less crushed. The
fourth generation goes one step further because it’s “purpose driven”.
PURPOSE-DRIVEN SELF-MANAGEMENT
Ephesians 5:15ff. says that "redeeming the time" depends on a clear view of "the
Lord's will". This might seem to fit in well with the "3rd generation" of time
management. Paul does indicate that the secret is to keep the Lord's will. But on
closer look, the typical time management tools don't provide any way to radically
question every activity—it doesn't put the activity in the context of the Lord's will.
The Lord's will, we said, consists both of God's purposes for us in his Word, and his
purposes for us in his calling.
Many people are beginning to realize we can't manage time. It comes and brings
things we cannot control. What is needed is not so much "time management" as "self
management". This is possible only if we have such a clear view of God's purposes
for us that we can truly set priorities and select what we will spend our time doing.
The problem is not even "procrastination", but rather the clear sense of God's will for
us. What is needed is not a "4th generation" of time management tools, but a
purpose-driven life.
Urgent Not Urgent
Important I. Problem Area II. Purpose Area
Not Important III. Popularity Area IV. Pleasure Area

4.9
Covey calls these "Quadrants I-IV".3 Urgent things are matters that are visible and
present, with personal advocates looking you in the face. They do not usually, in
themselves, produce the long term results you want—they don't help you accomplish
your God-given purposes. Important things, however, contribute to the mission, to
your purposes, to what you really want to occur.
I - Urgent and "Crises, problems, and deadline-driven projects" (i.e. self-imposed problems!).
Important These are urgent yet also important because if they are not addressed, your purposes
will be thwarted. If you look at your "To Do" list and find that it is mostly
Urgent/Important tasks, you are a problem-driven person. Result: Stress, burnout.
II - Not urgent but "Prevention of problems, relationship building, using new opportunities, planning,
Important preparation, recreation/refreshment." They are most important for your purposes, but
they are not proximate, and there are no advocates for them. If you find most of your
"To Do" list is Not urgent/Important, you are a purpose-driven person.
Question: What one thing could you do which you aren't doing now which (if you
did it well and regularly) would make a tremendous difference in your personal life?
In your Christian walk? In your professional life? The answers are Not urgent but
important issues. These are the "20 per-centers" that produce 80% of the results in
your life.
III - Urgent but Not "Many calls, many meetings, many conversations, most interruptions, proximate
Important matters."
These are things that others want you to do. They pose as problems. To be driven by
the expectations of others makes you popular in the short run but rudderless and not
respected in the long run. If you find most of your "To Do list is Urgent/Not
Important, you are a popularity-driven person. Result: No real achievement. No real
progress.
IV - Not Urgent and "Trivia, many calls, many meetings, many conversations, busy work, time wasters."
Not Important Why do you do these? Because they are pleasant or comforting to you in some way,
but they do not really build the relationships nor refresh you in ways that help you
reach God's purposes for you. Some of these are addictions. If you find much of your
time is spent in Not Urgent/Not Important things (they never get on your To Do list,
but they keep you from getting to or through the list!), then you are a pleasure-
driven person. Result: Dependency.
Summary The problem with the 1st and 2nd generation of tools is that they provided no
protection from being popularity-driven or problem-driven or even pleasure-driven.
There was no way to screen out the unimportant. The problem with the 3rd
generation is that it can increase burn out, because though it screens out the
unimportant (low priority) it does not help you distinguish and see the difference
between being problem vs. purpose centered. A purpose-driven person constantly
analyzes scheduling in light of "Quadrants" and pushes toward Quadrant II first and
Quadrant I only secondarily. A purpose driven person looks at his or her whole life
regularly, at all the roles and parts in light of the Lord's will.
A PURPOSE-DRIVEN SCHEDULE
1. First, have a clear idea of God's will for you. This will necessarily be evolving
over time, and thus you will only "get a handle on your schedule" as you grow
in wisdom.
a. God's Word — The purposes here are clear.
Time for God.
3
Ibid., p. 151.

4.9
Time for physical stewardship (exercise, sleep, etc.).

Time for emotional stewardship (avocation, refreshment, etc.).
Time for family.
Time for shepherding relationships.
Output: "Span of care" — 5 to 15 people I care for.
Input/Output: Peer co-mentors.
Input: Mentor(s).
b. God's Calling — The shape only gets clear over time.
Affinity (what kind of ministry are you burdened for?)
Ability (what kind of ministry are you good at?)
Opportunity (what kind of ministry is open, available?)
Eventually, you come to know the 2 or 3 best ways for you to be
productive in God's kingdom. What are your gifts? What is God calling
you to do in ministry?
Some people develop a "personal mission statement," which defines your basic
gifts and ministry goals. A possible one for me: "1) To be a growing Christian
man who is a leader/catalyst of a Christian movement that changed New York
City for Christ. 2) To build up a church that can "mother" scores of new
churches and ministries. 3) To do that through preaching, vision-setting,
leadership development, and personal evangelism."
2. Second, define your roles. These should be Not all of them—just the key ones
for this week and month. An example of what mine (Tim) might be:
Growing Christian
Husband/Father
Preacher
Vision-setter for church
Developer of leadership
Evangelist
Other examples, less oriented to an "ordained minister".
1. Growing Christian woman.
2. Manager/ New Products
3. Manager/ Staff development
4. Manager/ Administration
5. Manager/ Research
6. Home Fellowship Group Leader
3. Third, now select goals for an entire week. (Best to plan a week as a whole,
rather than each day. To plan each day out to the minute can create
inflexibility.) Select 2-3 for each role, and seek to be sure "Quadrant II"
outnumbers "Quadrant I" by 2 to 1. Eliminate III. and IV's.
4. Fourth, schedule them all as time blocks or appointments for the whole week.
5. Daily adapt your schedule by adding unanticipated events.
a. If there are more things than can be done—start to get rid of large sections
of them by bowing out graciously and saying "no".
b. If there are too many, you should ask whether you are really discerning
the difference between important and unimportant? Regularly cross things
off your list without doing them. If you are taking seriously "the will of
the Lord" and you remember that it could no be the Lord's will for you to
do more things than there are time for, you will have to cross things off
that list without ever doing them.

4.9
A “FORCE FIELD” THEORY OF STRESS MANAGEMENT
STRESS FORCES REACTIONS ANTI-STRESS FORCES
Anticipatory stressors ....................... Anxiety ................................................ Christian World View
Performance stressors ....................... Pressure ............................................... Gospel Self-Image
Time stressors ................................... Ineffectiveness .................................... Purpose-centered schedule
Relational stressors ........................... Anger, Avoidance ................................ Biblical relational habits; support
Physical/emotional............................. “General Adaptive ............................... Life balance (see stressors

Syndrome” above schedule)
Eliminate stressors Alter reactions Develop anti-stressors

(mid-term relief) (short term relief) (long term relief)
They'll be back! Masks the problem! Be prepared!

4.9
PLANNING YOUR WEEK WORKSHEET

Roles Goals Mon Tues Wed Thurs Fri
Priority Priority Priority Priority Priority
1 a I.
b II.
c III.
d 6a
2. a 7
b 8
C 9
D 10
3 A 11
B 12p
C 1
D 2
4 A 3
B 4
C 5
D 6
5 A 7
B 8
C 9
D 10
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A Manual for Leaders and Elders

Fellowship Group Handbook

2. FELLOWSHIP GROUP STRUCTURE

3. FELLOWSHIP GROUP DYNAMICS

Four Oaks Community Church: Core Values and Beliefs

FOUR OAKS - PURPOSE AND PRIORITIES

Part 1: Introduction Four Oaks Core Values, 1

CONVICTIONS ABOUT “GOSPEL” AND “COMMUNITY”

Part 1: Introduction Four Oaks Core Values, 2

A Vision For Community

Part 1: Introduction A Vision For Community, 1

Part 1: Introduction A Vision For Community, 2

1. God’s desire is to be in community with humanity. God created us that we might

Part 1: Introduction A Vision For Community, 3

4. We are to be a truth-telling community. Bonhoeffer writes that “there is no kindness

Part 1: Introduction A Vision For Community, 4

SOME IMPLICATIONS OF GOD’S CALL TO COMMUNITY

Part 1: Introduction A Vision For Community, 5

SOME ADDITIONAL BENEFITS OF A FELLOWSHIP GROUP CHURCH

1. They require no money for space. A large church building is unnecessary.

Part 1: Introduction A Vision For Community, 6

WHAT IS A FELLOWSHIP GROUP?

WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF FELLOWSHIP GROUPS?

Part 1, Introduction Fellowship Group Summary, 1

Part 1, Introduction Fellowship Group Summary, 3

WHAT ARE THE DISTINCTIVES OF FELLOWSHIP GROUPS?

HOW DO I GET INVOLVED IN A FELLOWSHIP GROUP?

Part 1, Introduction Fellowship Group Summary, 4

 Every member at Four Oaks has personal support, encouragement, and

 Each pastor works with a group of elders so as to provide leadership and

 We have divided the greater Tallahassee into three “Communities” that

 Fellowship Group leaders are recruited to lead a group in their

Part 2: Fellowship Group Structure Four Oaks’ Fellowship Group Structure, 2

Four Oaks Fellowship Group Structure:

THE ART OF SHEPHERDING

Part 2: Fellowship Group Structure Four Oaks’ Fellowship Group Structure, 3

THE ART OF LEADING A FELLOWSHIP GROUP

1. Worship Praising God for who he is and what he has done.

2. Bible Study Learning and applying God's Word to everyday life.

Part 2: Fellowship Group Structure Four Oaks’ Fellowship Group Structure, 4

Part 2: Fellowship Group Structure Four Oaks’ Fellowship Group Structure, 5

The Leadership Gathering

Time Who What

7:00 - 8:00pm Everyone � 7:00-7:10 Arrival

Part 2: Fellowship Group Structure The Community Meeting, 1

SUB-FLOCK HUDDLE AGENDA

Part 2: Fellowship Group Structure The Community Meeting, 2

3. Quality Control Periodic looks at the elements of group life. Reminders

THE COMMUNITY GATHERING AGENDA

Part 2: Fellowship Group Structure The Community Meeting, 3

Multiplying Groups and Leaders

1. GROWTH BY INVITING NEW GROUP MEMBERS

2. GROWTH BY MULTIPLYING NEW GROUPS

Part 2: Fellowship Groups Structure Multiplying Groups and leaders, 1

everyone in our congregation.”

Part 2: Fellowship Groups Structure Multiplying Groups and leaders, 2

1. Emotional Obstacles : Multiplication is perceived as a potentially painful

3. GROWTH BY IDENTIFYING AND TRAINING AN APPRENTICE LEADER

Part 2: Fellowship Groups Structure Multiplying Groups and leaders, 3

Part 2: Fellowship Groups Structure Multiplying Groups and leaders, 4