FEATURE:

DEC
Whats Goin On?
WHATS
An Older Child's BOREDOM
Things to do First Christmas
BUSTERS
INSIDE: and see nearby.
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HOME
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2016
R E S O U R C E S , N E W S & I N F O R M AT I O N F O R A D O P T I V E FA M I L I E S I N T E H A M A C O U N T Y

What a Fantastic Celebration!

This year's Holiday Party was a smashing success,
thanks to all of you! Delicious dinner and desserts,
so many crafts to make and take home, friends
and family to catch up with ... and SANTA!
Everybody at Together on Purpose was honored
to get to share in such an awesome tradition, to
get to see many of you again and to get to meet
several families that we hadn't had the pleasure
of meeting before.
We hope everyone has enjoyed the photos - you
should have received them by email by now, and
the prints are on their way. If you or your kids
had photos taken with Santa and you have not
received them by email yet, it may because we
haven't figured out who some of the great pics
belong to. Email us at acurry@atvrb.org or give
Melissa a call at 530-838-1423 and let one of us
know you're missing a Santa pic so we can get it
out to you.
Thanks again for making our Holiday Season so
awesome!!

It's not too late to get your Starbucks Card!

FREE
We only ask one small favor ...
Visit www.togetheronpurpose.org
and fill out the survey to let us know

STARBUCKS
what services YOUR FAMILY would
find valuable. Then, fill out the contact
form, and we'll send your gift card out!

GIFT CARD
Eligibility: Must be over 18. Must be a foster or adoptive
parent in the Tehama County area (we're interpreting that
pretty loosely, but keep in mind, supplies are limited).
One submission (and Starbucks card) per adult. While
supplies last. Rules are subject to change at any time.

Together on Purpose December 2016 1

WHATS GOIN ON? Coming
Events &
Activities

DECEMBER 2016 Ave. Chico. Marji Thomas, MA, CCC is

facilitating this new support group, focusing
on Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder. The
17 bTogether on Purpose Network
& Resource Group
Tuesday, January 17, 3:30 - 4:30PM

21 bA Celtic Christmas
Wednesday, December 21,
7:30-10:30PM, Cascade Theatre, 1735
FASD Support Group will provide general
information, resources, referral information
and provide a supportive circle for you and
NEW LOCATION: Alternatives to Violence
Counseling Center, 20 Antelope Blvd., Red
Bluff (on the corner of Antelope Blvd. &
Market St., Redding. A favorite holiday your family. Please join us every month for
Rio St., in the same complex as the Copy
tradition, Tomseen Foleys A Celtic this new and informative support group.
Center). Come meet with professional
Christmas returns to the Cascade Theatre For more information, conact Alice McKee,
therapist Scott Howell, MFTI and other
stage with stories, music and dances MSW- 530.828.8731 AMcKee@Lilliput.org.
Tehama County adoptive families for

12
that celebrate Irish culture and the giving bAttaching in Adoption support, networking and resource sharing.
spirit of Christmas. The evening recreates Free childcare provided on-site. All
Thursday, January 12 , 9AM-
the joy and innocence of a night before adoptive families welcome. For more
4PM, Government Center Board Chambers,
Christmas in a remote farmhouse in the information, call 530-727-9423 or email
915 Eighth St, Marysville. Presented by Ce
west of Ireland when the neighboring acurry@atvrb.org. We look forward to
Eshelman, LMFT. What is Trauma Informed
families gather around the fire to grace the seeing you there!
Care? We will examine what makes an
wintry night with the haunting melodies
experience a trauma and how such
of traditional Irish Christmas carols, to
experiences create styles of relationship
knock sparks off the flagstone floor with
interactions, core beliefs about the self
fiery dances, and to fill the night with the
and others and impairment in typical child
laughter of their stories. Tickets: www.
cascadetheatre.com or 530-243-8877
development. Learning Objectives: Learn More Resources
for Adoptive
the 7 areas of impairment in children

23 bKoats for Kids (& Moms too) resulting from complex trauma exposure;
Friday, December 23, 7AM-4PM,
310 Hemsted Dr., Redding. Please drop off
Learn 4 styles of attachment; Recognize
signs of disrupted attachment in children Families:
a new coat with The Trinity Group at Morgan and in the family; Learn core beliefs of
Stanley. All donations will benefit One Safe securely attached and insecurely attached
children. About the Trainer: Ce Eshelman,
Support Groups:
Place. For more information, call 530-223-
4200 and ask for The Trinity Group. LMFT, attachment specialist and founder of Yuba, Sutter, Colusa, Glenn Counties
The Attach Place Center for Strengthening For Support Groups held in Yreka,
Relationships in Sacramento, CA, has been Mt. Shasta, Orland or Sacramento contact

JANUARY 2017 in practice since 1987. Learning from the

best minds in the attachment fieldDan
Leslie Damschoder at 530.879.3861

Siegel, MD, Bruce Perry, MD, PhD, Bessel Butte County Post Adoptive Services

7 van der Kolk, PhD, and othersshe works Support Group, Drop in Assistance, WRAP
bThe Beatles: Eight Days a Week
every day with adopted children and Family Support Group ... For info, call Miko:
(A Ron Howard Film) 530-209-0817, Heather: 916-475-7198 or
Saturday, January 7, 7-10PM, State Theatre their parents. Raising her two adopted Deborah: 530-896-1920
for the Arts, 333 Main St., Red Bluff. Ron children into adulthood has given her the
insight, humor, and hard-earned wisdom to
Education:
Howards film will explore how John Lennon,
Paul McCartney, George Harrison and speak with authority and love. Ce recently
Ringo Starr came together to become this authored, Drowning With My Hair On Fire:
extraordinary phenomenon, The Beatles. Insanity Relief For Adoptive Parents. Who Sierra Forever Families
The film will focus on the time period from should attend? You if you are a relative Seminars on topics like Attachment,
the early Beatles journey in the days caregiver, guardian, foster parent, adoptive Understanding Poverty, Understanding
parent, of children from difficult beginnings, Trauma, and more. Leslie Damschoder
of The Cavern Club in Liverpool to their
maltreatment, neglect, trauma, attachment 530.879.3861
last concert at Candlestick Park in San
Francisco in 1966. Tickets: $15 available at breach, drug exposure, difficult pregnancy
or brain trauma. Continental Breakfast The Attach Place
www.statetheatreredbluff.com Center for Strengthening Relationships
& Lunch Provided. Pre-registration

10
3406 American River Drive, Suite D
bFetal Alcohol Spectrum Required: call 530-879-3861 or search Sacramento, CA 95864
Disorder Group (FASD) (Chico) for the event on EventBrite. Coordinated by ce@attachplace.com (916) 403-0588
Tuesday, January 10, 9:30-11:30AM, Sierra Forever Families and the California
Lilliput Childrens Services, 289 Rio Lindo Department of Social Services.

2 An Alternatives to Violence Project

An Alternatives to made possible
Violence through
project, madeapossible
collaboration with
through the Tehama
partnership County
with Department
the Tehama CountyofPermanency
Social Services
Team.
An Older Child's like cookie baking, visiting friends, and
decorations placed in the same place

First Christmas
year after year, will be long remembered
after that plastic toy has broken or been

HOME
thrown away.
The best gift you can give your first older
adoptive child is: LESS.
Emotionally, give more. Decorate
your home, take late night drives through
neighborhoods with bright lights, sing
carols, celebrate family in every way
possible.
But remember: If you have other children,
by Martha Osborne your newly adopted child will not measure
gifts in expense (there is absolutely no
For those who are experiencing the joy of With the constant barrage of concept of cost), but in number.
the Christmas or Hannukah season for advertisements and television
the first time with your older (above age 4 S-L-O-W Down on Christmas morning.
commercials aimed at children year
years) child, I want to share a small piece Take turns opening gifts, admiring each
round and especially through the Holiday
of advice that I, and countless others, one, and absolutely make sure that the
season, a child's first Christmas home
have learned along the way: new child has the same number as the
can be a little more stressful than her
other children.
family may have anticipated.
This holiday is going And please know this...it won't always
Often, having had to survive a number
to be different. of Holiday seasons wondering if they
matter. Every parent of an older adoptee
is so thrilled to see the present opening
It doesn't matter if you have adopted would ever have the experience of
and of course there is an emotional
younger kids before, because they didn't purchasing gifts for a son or daughter,
'kick-back' that they are expecting.
'get it'. It doesn't matter if you are the many new adoptive parents are at risk
Some parents, unfortunately, become
the Parent of the Year with your birth- of overwhelming and indulging the new
displeased...they may not get the
children, and you think you have got it all child in the family.
'appreciation' that they may have been
figured out. I'm begging you....get ready. Do you see yourself here? unconciously expecting. The child isn't
There are those of us who have had years Children who have previously experienced 'grateful' for the gifts.
of parenting experience before adopting extreme deprivation may seem to have But ask yourself this: Did they enjoy the
an older child. We also were incredible, a never-ending list of toys and gifts they cookie baking? The carols? The walks
capable and of course completely want and expect. Many adoptive parents through the park with all its lights in
prepared. HA! We are all now on secret struggle with their sincere desire to splendor? For these kids FAMILY and
facebook groups sharing stories and please their child and to experience the GIFTS are seperate.
wishing we could both communicate the joy and excitement of giving their long-
absolute joy of parenting these kids...and When thinking about what to give your
awaited child the fullness of their heart's newly adopted child, remember that
the very real need for "first time parents desire. But what is truly in the child's best
of older-adoptees" to open their minds traditions are the foundation that you will
interest? build on. Make her first Christmas home
and accept a little advice.
Having gone through a tremendous the one she will remember for a lifetime.
Get ready to hear this from your older amount of work and preparation to
adoptee this holiday season: Take many digital photos and have them
become parents, adoptive parents are developed during the season. Allow older
I want, I want, I WANT! I clearly up to the challenging task of children to take photos and add them to
WAAANNNTT THAT MOMMY! achieving a healthy balance. Traditions, the new photo album
Decorate together, being mindful that
[Editor's Note: This article was written from the point-of-view of a parent whose child was adopted fragile items might be saved for a later
from overseas. Together on Purpose realizes that the readership of this newsletter is comprised year, as the excitement of the season
primarily of families adopting through foster care, and that some passages may not directly apply will make children sometimes careless.
to your experiences. If you have tips or advice for other families in situations similar to your own
regarding holidays we would love to hear them and would love to include them in next year's holiday Don't let a broken object ruin this joyous
newsletter. Please submit them at www.togetheronpurpose.org using the Contact Us form.] season.
Continued on Page 4

Together on Purpose December 2016 3 possible

An Alternatives to Violence Project made
 Remembering the less fortunate: help develop values and memories which
An Older Child's will endure a life time and carry through
If your child has been home for more than to their own parenting
First Christmas Home
(Continued from Page 3) 6 months and has the language skills, it is
important to incorporate helping the less About the Author:
Spend time with friends and fortunate immediately into your traditions. Martha Osborne is the founder and Executive
family, but remember that too Most orphanage-raised children do NOT Director of the RainbowKids Adoption & Child
much stimulation can completely Welfare website. Over several decades of advocacy
believe there are children in the USA that for vulnerable children and orphans, her focus
overwhelm a child who has grown up are poor or who do not have families. In on finding real-world solutions to the growing
in another culture or in an orphanage. addition to sending a donation to your issue of children living out their childhoods in
Their behavior may not be as you child's orphanage (a common practice for group homes, foster-care, and orphanages has
would hope, and it is important to led to Child Advocacy Model implementation
adoptive parents), finding a way to help and the collaboration of local, state, and global
have a Plan B in place for a new children within their new country gives organizations.
adoptee. A quiet place the child can your child a sense of charity, community This work has brought together national and
be alone with a parent when things involvement, and simply helps to form international advocacy groups who share the
are too overwhelming. good character. belief that children need to grow up in families.
Help your child to compose a card or Recognizing that there are no one-size-fits all
With a bit of forethought and solutions for children living outside of family care,
letter to their former orphanage. This mindfulness, encouraging an emphasis this network uses various methods to bring hope to
is a wonderful time to send a small on remembering less fortunate children children, including strengthening the original (birth)
donation to the orphanage with instead of getting the latest must-have
family, providing sponsorships for education and
recent photos of your child. Allowing medical needs, advocating for adoption, training
toy really is possible. care-takers, and educating families.
your child to draw a picture, send
stickers, etc is very empowering and One quick way to help other children is Martha is an adoptee, and mother to five children
to search the RainbowKids Get Involved! who entered her family through adoption at various
beneficial. Often, you will be very ages and from difficult beginnings. With time, love,
touched by what they wish to send Area (www.rainbowkids.com). Within this dedication, therapies, prayer, and a few bumps and
and the letters that they write. area several charities have listed their struggles along the way, those five children have
needs and ways that you may assist the grown into vibrant young people and adults.
And finally,
children who still wait. For more great articles and resources,
let the word FLEXIBILITY be sure to visit www.rainbowkids.com!
By enjoying your child and sharing time
be your mantra! together during the holiday season This article was reprinted with permission from from
remembering the less fortunate, you will Rainbow Kids Adoption & Child Welfare Advocacy.

DIY (Do It Yourself) Christmas Gift Tags

First, color these handy gift tags. With an adults help, cut them out and use them on gifts this Christmas!

To: To: To:

From: From: From:

To: To: To:

From: From: From:

To: To: To:

From: From: From:

4 An Alternatives to Violence Project

An Alternatives to made possible
Violence through
project, madeapossible
collaboration with
through the Tehama
partnership County
with Department
the Tehama CountyofPermanency
Social Services
Team.
 BOREDOM BUSTERS
Christmas Tree Maze Build-a-Snowman!
Can you find your way from 1. Color 2. Cut 3. Glue
the base of the tree
all the way to
the star?

LOL!
Q. What do you call a cat on the
beach at Christmastime?
A. Sandy Claws!
Q. What did the Gingerbread Man
put on his bed?
START HERE
A. A Cookie Sheet!
Together on Purpose December 2016 5 possible
An Alternatives to Violence Project made
 An Alternatives to Violence Project made possible through a collaboration with the Tehama County Department of Social Services

DEC
2016
R E S O U R C E S , N E W S & I N F O R M AT I O N F O R A D O P T I V E FA M I L I E S I N T E H A M A C O U N T Y

It's STILL not too late to get your ...

FREE STARBUCKS GIFT CARD
See inside for details!

1805 Walnut Street Red Bluff, California 96080

Alternatives to Violence