Planning A Wedding PDF
Planning A Wedding PDF
Planning A Wedding PDF
WEDDING
RECEPTION
AT HOME
Some other related titles from How to Books
CAROL GODSMARK
Published by How To Content,
A division of How To Books Ltd,
Spring Hill House, Spring Hill Road,
Begbroke, Oxford OX5 1RX, United Kingdom
Tel: (01865) 375794. Fax: (01865) 379162
info@howtobooks.co.uk
www.howtobooks.co.uk
NOTE: The material contained in this book is set out in good faith for
general guidance and no liability can be accepted for loss or expense
incurred as a result of relying in particular circumstances on statements
made in the book. Laws and regulations are complex and liable to change,
and readers should check the current position with the relevant authorities
before making personal arrangements.
Contents
Acknowledgements xi
Preface xiii
v
Planning a Wedding Reception at Home
vi
Contents
vii
Planning a Wedding Reception at Home
Index 189
viii
To my darling daughter Caroline Godsmark and her partner
Barry Domedy who may be inspired by this book for their
forthcoming wedding, written with them and similarly placed
bridal couples in mind
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Acknowledgements
xi
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Preface
The average UK wedding done by the book – venue, reception, musi-
cians, vintage car, photographer, caterers, florists, toastmaster,
stationary and, of course the wedding dress and rings – costs around
£17,000. Then there’s the honeymoon to pay for. But do weddings have
to be as expensive as this?
One sure way of cutting down on skyrocketing costs is to cater for the wed-
ding yourself and event-manage your venue. Brides, couples and families
can take on this responsibility but often need a helping hand to make sure
that the event – the most momentous day in the lives of the bride and
groom – is a day to remember, and for all the right reasons!
This book is for the inexperienced caterer who may have only cooked for
friends and family, whether it be the bride, the bride and groom, or family
or friends who wish to take on the catering in order to prepare a sit-down
affair or a buffet for ten to 100. Throwing a memorable party without stress
is definately achievable, and this book will show you how to control costs,
create simple but terrific food, when to invite your guests, how many guests
you can manage and even how to arrange a seating plan or the car parking.
xiii
Planning a Wedding Reception at Home
All the little details that can be ironed out beforehand are also here,
whether you are holding the reception at the home of the bride, her parents
or friends, in a village hall or marquee.
The principles in this book are also suitable for those catering for large par-
ties such as birthday parties, christenings, bar mitzvahs, welcome home,
graduation and other celebratory parties.
xiv
Preface
My aim in writing this book is to ensure that you have as smooth a ride
as possible in transforming your home, marquee, village hall or other
venue into a welcoming place for your guests.
My aim is also to ensure that you and your family and friends directly
involved in your wedding or celebration, are well-versed in how to run
the event. Stress-levels can be banished to a huge extent from your
lives; everyone can enjoy the day when it arrives and you can give
yourself a big pat on the back for creating this memorable time together.
xv
Planning a Wedding Reception at Home
I hope you will find all that you need within these pages. A final tip:
keeping a sense of humour and perspective is as essential as the time
you set aside to plan your big day.
xvi
1 Planning your
wedding
Congratulations! You’ve decided on the big day and would like to cele-
brate. But the budget, due to commitments such as the mortgage, may
be less than sparkling. What are the choices regarding the all-important
party? You can, of course, go to a hotel or restaurant and pay for the
1
Planning a Wedding Reception at Home
privilege, or hire a caterer and a venue such as a village hall. Or you could
put up a marquee in a garden or book the village hall and do the catering
yourself. Doing your own catering would certainly keep down the costs. But
who in their right mind would choose to cater for their own wedding?
It might seem like a crazy idea, but why not? There are few people who
wish to spend a small fortune on just the one day to mark the rest of their
lives together. The average cost of a wedding in Britain is around the
£17,000 mark with some 40 per cent of the costs going to the caterer, be it
in a hotel, restaurant or for a professionally catered for marquee recep-
tion. London’s costs will be approximately 15% higher.
You may find it too daunting a prospect being involved with the food
and may wish to book a caterer but do the other arrangements, such as
hiring the venue, getting quotes for a marquee, arranging the transport,
sending out the invitations, hiring staff, finding the perfect cake-maker
and ordering the champagne, yourself.
Since I’m sure you don’t want to start your new life together on the
wrong foot – in debt from day one – it would be a wise move to elimi-
nate part of the expense. Examine both possibilities – to cater or not to
cater yourself – and get organised.
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Planning your wedding
3
Planning a Wedding Reception at Home
When you start looking you may also find details of pumping stations,
gardens, pavilions and other places. Some of them offer catering, others
just the space with or without equipment such as chairs and tables and
other necessities.
4
Planning your wedding
Tip
In some village halls you are expected to pay for lighting with some of
the older ones having meters. Find out about lighting and heating when
talking to the manager.
You will also have to know what kind of kitchen you will be able to finish
preparing your food in (the vast majority of the cooking will have taken
place in the caterer’s kitchen or your own).
5
Planning a Wedding Reception at Home
Does the venue offer equipment and, if so, what are the plates,
G
cutlery and glasses like? Are there enough for your guests?
Count everything just to make sure.
G Are there enough – if any – serving dishes or will you need to
bring your own?
G Does the venue supply washing up liquid and any other clean-
ing materials including dishcloths and tea towels?
G Is there a sufficient amount of hot water or is the boiler not up
to scratch?
G Are there health and safety measures in place such as exits, fire
blankets, fire extinguishers?
G Make sure when viewing the kitchen where the food will be fin-
ished off and served that you note how many rings and ovens
there are as you don’t want to be juggling pots and pans trying
to heat up food in time.
G Make sure too when viewing the kitchen that you have enough
refrigeration and that the fridge is plugged in well before your
party so that it is at the right temperature (4°C). Some village
halls and other venues, in order to save on electricity, unplug
everything.
Other questions which may be useful also include:
6
Planning your wedding
But before you do, make sure the dates you have in mind are available
at the venue. Otherwise, you may have a wasted journey. If you are
flexible, ask for alternative dates too.
7
Planning a Wedding Reception at Home
Tip
You may have to be flexible if you want to hire the place you feel hap-
piest with. Book well in advance if possible. Be flexible too in regard to
what both of you want – and what the budget will stand.
Get married on a week day as many venues are cheaper than on weekends.
Getting married later on in the day cuts down on your costs as you will
only have one meal to cater for. Some wedding parties sit down to
lunch followed by supper in the evenings pre or post dancing.
8
Planning your wedding
Tip
Winter wedding in marquees are becoming more and more popular;
marquees are now easily adapted to cope with the wet and the cold.
You may also get away with having a quieter wedding with fewer guests in
winter if it is what you would prefer. A summer wedding can be seen as
more hedonistic and big, with many friends and family – and work col-
leagues – all joining in. If your conscience gets to you, invite those not on
the wedding list to a drinks reception later on. It is, after all, your wedding,
not your parents’, parents’-in-law or your best friend’s – all of whom may
wish to influence you. As there are fewer weddings in winter, yours will
stand out and be a real treat during those dark days for all your guests. Do
avoid the clichéd Valentine’s Day wedding, however. Catering and other
costs go up for this cheesy calendar date. Strive for originality.
9
Planning a Wedding Reception at Home
I would also try to avoid just after Christmas. This period is fraught with
problems, not least seasonal greetings fatigue, caterer fatigue, guest list
turmoil (‘Sorry, but we always go skiing’, ‘We always stay with auntie
Bertha in the Gower Peninsula’, ‘Can we bring Flo, Marcus and
Desdemona, our house guests?’). Your Christmas will be taken over by
lists, plans and sleepless nights.
10
Planning your wedding
Tip
Your guests will appreciate a quality meal of simplicity rather than a
complicated affair with expensively decorated tables.
You may like to offer your guests lunch, be it a three course meal or
buffet. Or you may opt for a finger food reception, a three course dinner
with all the trimmings. Will you be offering food too if music and dancing
are part of the late-night equation? Put an approximate sum against each
person on your guest list for the food alone and add it up. This doesn’t
include drink and is an excellent way of starting to cull the guest list.
Chapter 2 (budgeting) and Chapter 6 (menu choice) will help you make
a decision about the catering.
Formal or informal?
Formal weddings
Formal weddings are more costly of course. From quality dresses, shoes,
tiaras, men’s formal attire, limos, flowers, printed invitations, a toast-
master, musicians, champagne and upmarket catering, to say nothing of
11
Planning a Wedding Reception at Home
the choice of venue. Formal weddings can also be highly stressful if not
managed with foresight and clarity. By having a small, formal wedding,
many of the above costs are minimised, and you can still have a delight-
ful, memorable wedding.
Informal weddings
If you choose to organise a more informal wedding without observing
the conventions that go with more formal affairs, there are ways of
saving money. For example:
12
Planning your wedding
Once you have decided on the date, start canvassing your friends, col-
leagues and family for their caterers’, musicians’, florists’ and
photographers’ recommendations.
Start combing websites, Yellow Pages and other sources to widen your
search for the most appropriate companies to deal with. When phoning
them, have the check list on pages 4–7 handy and a further list of ques-
tions you wish to ask also written down. Then you can systematically
check them off so that you have an instant database of information
rather than little scraps of paper with confusing details. Buy a notebook
where you can store your information and keep it handy.
The lists below are general ones, and probably not all points will be
applicable to you. Also, I have not added points such as choosing the
best man or bridesmaids, for example, as this book caters primarily for
the catering and event management of your wedding or celebration.
13
Planning a Wedding Reception at Home
Also make sure you know when down payments and the final
payment are due.
G Get quotes from marquees and agree on arrangements.
G Get quotes from photographers and check their availability.
G Get quotes from musicians and check their availability.
G Start looking for the accommodation for the wedding party.
G Decide on the flowers: visit florists and get prices.
G Start considering where the honeymoon will be.
14
Planning your wedding
15
Planning a Wedding Reception at Home
Timing is all
The following lists will help to gauge the amount of time needed during
the day for the bride, the groom and at the venues. Just put a time
before each task to get a picture of what the day will hold for you. (Not
all of the items may be applicable to you.)
16
Planning your wedding
Venue timing
_____ Arrival of florist to decorate the church / venue
_____ Ushers arrive to seat guests (usually –21 – one hour prior to
ceremony)
_____ Groom and best man arrive (usually 20 minutes prior to ceremony)
_____ Parents of the groom are seated (if not walking up the aisle)
_____ Bride’s mother and father arrive
_____ Bride’s mother is seated (after last guest is seated)
_____ Bride and bridesmaids arrive (five minutes prior to ceremony)
_____ Prelude begins
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Planning a Wedding Reception at Home
Reception timing
18
Planning your wedding
Tip
Don’t get too hung up on timing – the list is only a useful guide. Being
too regimental may spoil the day, although a structure is needed.
Contact list
Put company names and direct contact numbers on a list and hand it to
those who are helping to arrange the day. Below is a sample list; you
may wish to add others such as the best man (Wake up, it’s show time!
Where’s the ring?).
19
Planning a Wedding Reception at Home
Pick-up 1
Car hire 1 – 6-seater: 11.15 a.m. sharp
Passengers (5 in total): bride, bridesmaids (3) and father of the bride
Location 1: from 27 New Park Road, Bath to Tollgate Registry office, 16
North Parade, Bath
Location 2: 12.15 p.m: bride and groom from Tollgate Registry office to
The Manor Barn, East Wittering Lane, Delling, Bath
Pick-up 2
Car hire 2 – 8-seater: 11 a.m. sharp
Passengers (5 in total): mother of the bride, grandmothers (2) and
grandfather (1)
Location 1: from 27 New Park Road, Bath to Tollgate Registry office, 16
North Parade, Bath
Location 2: 12.15 p.m: parents of the bride, grandmothers, grandfather,
bridesmaids from Tollgate Registry office to The Manor Barn, East
Wittering Lane, Delling, Bath
It is necessary to work out the logistics in full with hopefully few changes.
Tip
Be firm with those needing transport – they can’t change who they travel
with at the last moment as the transport pack of cards may collapse.
20
2 Planning your budget
21
Planning a Wedding Reception at Home
First, let’s examine who will be paying for the wedding. Will it be you
both, one partner, a parent or set of parents or other members of the
family? Maybe a godparent might step in with the offer of partial funding.
Often these days the couple, rather than the parents of the bride, take
on the finances of their wedding. Ask your parents or family members
you are close to if they can contribute to the finances (they could, for
example, set up an account and pay monthly into it). Or ask them if
they can share the costs by paying for a specific part of the wedding –
the catering, for example, or buying the wine and champagne, or the
travel costs. Make sure you give them a ball park figure so that they
know what they may be agreeing to.
Tip
Each family’s financial means should be considered when dividing the costs.
22
Planning your budget
Naturally, no couple wishes to start their married life with debts from
their wedding but it is quite easy to over-extend – over-expend – and
throw caution to the wind as it’s ‘only once in a lifetime’. However,
having a budget and keeping an overall eye on expenses is essential for
the next step in your lives together.
23
Planning a Wedding Reception at Home
The golden rule is to plan a wedding you can realistically afford. This
doesn’t mean asking too many people to your wedding and then offering
them cheap food and drink – your wedding would be memorable for all
the wrong reasons!
There are many ways you can keep costs down. For example you can
dispense with the toastmaster, or find musicians who have just started
on the professional ladder but who play and sing like angels. Hunt
around for less costly, but still quality, drink and, with this book to help
you, do the catering yourself with the help of friends and family.
Tip
Sticking to the budget will not only be a source of satisfaction but will
give all concerned a peaceful night’s sleep.
Be prepared to negotiate with each other and others who have a say in
the finances. By discussion, not argument, you will reduce stress and
any bad feelings that threaten to erupt. Of course, wedding planning is
24
Planning your budget
hardly plain sailing but if approached with a sense of balance and real-
ity, you can enjoy the ride.
What are the average amounts spent on each category? The average
bride and groom spend approximately 40% of their total wedding
budget on the caterer (food, cake, and alcohol), 3% on the facilities for
the reception, 8% on flowers, 10% on entertainment, 14% on clothing, 7%
on a photographer, 4% on invitations and other printed supplies, 4% on
gifts, 2% on transportation, and 8% on miscellaneous items.
Tip
In order to keep track of your wedding budget, it’s a good idea to open
a designated wedding bank account and start paying in a regular sum
each month, preferably by standing order or direct debit. All bills can
be paid from this account.
25
Planning a Wedding Reception at Home
26
Planning your budget
27
Planning a Wedding Reception at Home
Tip
Scrap the evening party to keep costs down and have a knees-up in the
pub. Buy everyone a first drink, or a nominal number of bottles of
champagne or sparkling wine.
28
Planning your budget
29
Planning a Wedding Reception at Home
her services, a cake being made for you). At the end of your research
and compilation, you will know what you can and cannot afford. If you
have been promised funding by family or friends as well as your own
financing, put the initials of the person or persons concerned against an
item with the amount promised.
Getting quotes
Getting a quote from a company differs from getting an estimate. A
quote or quotation is a price – or service – given to you by the com-
pany and is legally binding if in writing. An estimate is just that, an
estimation of what they can provide. They can invoice you with a differ-
ing final sum as it was an estimate, not a quote. In the eyes of the law
you cannot challenge them in court.
Points to consider
Always check through the estimate to see if you have asked each com-
pany for the same items, as a cheaper estimate may be less as it has
fewer items. Make sure you are comparing like for like, with quality over
inferior products.
Always check to see if VAT has been included. Some companies are
rather sly about this and only add it on to the final bill to ensure your
order. This VAT less bill may seem a cheaper option at the outset but it
won’t be when the final bill is submitted.
30
Planning your budget
Tip
Confirm all bookings in writing and save a copy for your records.
Wedding insurance
The chart below gives an idea of what is on offer. The three columns are
for different grades of cover. Contact an insurance broker or go online
to discover the options and get a quote. Be sure, however, before you
sign on the dotted line, that you understand all the small print.
31
3 Compiling the guest list
32
Compiling the guest list
Of course you will include closest friends and immediate family on your list.
You will also include people who have been and will continue to be impor-
tant in your life, Decide who are friends and who are acquaintances.
Paring down the list can be a fraught time. You may feel guilty, and a lot of
discussion and compromise is needed on both sides. Be brave! Remember:
you can always have a party after your wedding for those not included.
This can be a highly joyous, charged-with-emotion occasion which will
bring other friends and family together to share in your happiness.
Who will you invite to your wedding? Naturally you want your wedding
day to be one of the happiest of your lives; the bride and groom need
to take a firm grip on expenses so that costs don’t spiral out of control.
The very first step is to look at the guest list and decide how many
people to invite.
Obviously, the more guests, the more expensive it will be. Catering, size
of venue, possibly marquee hire, staffing, even printing costs needing to
be taken into consideration. The biggest expenses are the venue, cater-
ing and the alcohol. Unless you have unlimited access to a
stuffed-full-of-money bank vault, keeping the guest list down is the way
to keeping costs down. Be ruthless!
G How to pare down your guest list to suit your budget and venue.
G How to invite your guests: the printed invitation, suggested
wording and reply.
33
Planning a Wedding Reception at Home
G Write down all possible names, leaving no one out. But write down
those names of people who you actually want at the wedding.
G Return to this list, highlighting those who you might possibly
want to attend.
G Go over the list again, circling those who you really want to
attend.
G Move these people over to a semi-permanent list, and then
delete those who you haven’t got such strong bonds with or
you haven’t seen for quite some time.
G Do you now have the beginnings of a guest list? Add the num-
bers up. Take a figure such as £50 (this may be the cost per
person for the catering, venue and staffing, for example) and
multiply it by the number of people.
G Still quite a hefty number? There is no rule in the book that you
have to invite most of your family members on both sides. It is
your wedding. Nor do you have to issue an invitation to guests
to bring a guest unless they are partners.
G Decide on a smaller wedding if the numbers, and therefore
costs per head, are high. As mentioned above, invite others not
on the list to a post wedding party. This can take place within a
few weeks of the actual ceremony and could be a drinks party
with finger food or a simple barbecue with music.
34
Compiling the guest list
Tip
If dealing with lists from several sources (yours, both sets of parents),
stipulate a deadline for the lists. Once you have finalised the list, get
full names, titles (Dr, Mrs, Ms, for example), addresses, email addresses
and phone numbers. If you have all this information to hand you can
use it if you need to contact them for any reason (such as asking ‘Are
you attending?’ if they don’t reply).
35
Planning a Wedding Reception at Home
The invitations
Now that you’ve finalised the all-important list you will need to decide
how to ask your guests to attend your wedding. As the invitation is the
first thing they will see, your guests need to understand what kind of the
wedding they have been invited to. Is it formal? A casual, informal gather-
ing? A small, intimate wedding party? Or a large one stretching over most
of the day and evening with a party and dancing into the small hours?
G Have they been invited for the reception only or for the cere-
mony and reception?
G Is the invitation for the guest only, or for a guest and their
chosen guest, a couple with children, or just a couple? Write on
the invitation who is invited, not ‘you are invited.’ This is too
ambiguous and could cause confusion.
G It is good manners to send an invitation to the groom’s parents
and to the officiant and perhaps his or her partner, be he or
she a member of the clergy or the registrar.
G Be specific: it will save you a lot of time, potential embarrassment
and uncertainty. The last thing you want is for guests who have
assumed too much to come to the wedding with several in tow to
find that there is no table place for them or not enough food.
Quantity of invitations
You will need one per couple or family but, when ordering, add 10–15%
extra in case you have to send out further invitations. Printing costs
36
Compiling the guest list
tend to be static: the initial cost is key, the numbers ordered of less
importance. (You will have quotes from several printers and samples of
their work.)
Tip
Always order extra invitations and envelopes as mistakes can happen.
37
Planning a Wedding Reception at Home
Colours tend to be black and white or cream and white but there are no
hard and fast rules.
Tip
A cost effective way of making invitations is to buy some ritzy type of
paper from an upmarket paper shop and print them yourself. Just make
sure the weight suits your printer. Buy a few sheets and try them out
before investing in paper you may not be able to use.
When to order
You will need to proof-read and adjust any printing, So, ideally it is pru-
dent to place your order between three and four weeks prior to sending
them out. Invitations typically go out two months before the wedding,
which gives people time to plan any travel arrangements and time off
work if necessary. It also gives time for those who need accommodation
to arrange it.
Information to include
G Date
G Time
G Place
G Venue
G Who is hosting the wedding
G Type of wedding (church or registry office, for example)
G Who to reply to: you may wish to ask guests to reply to the
bride’s parents’ address, their email address or by phone. Or
you may be managing the guest list so add these details
38
Compiling the guest list
G Directions
G Presents (you may have a wedding list you would prefer your
guests to choose from, for example).
………………………………………………….
at their marriage
At 11 a.m.
39
Planning a Wedding Reception at Home
Or, for a wedding invitation from parents of the bride after the ceremony
……………………………………………………….
At 1 p.m.
to Mr Jonathan Pepper
Tip
Depending on your budget and how formal the invitation is you may
like to include a reply card with a stamped addressed envelope. The
wording could include ‘would be delighted to attend’ or ‘regret but
cannot attend,’ and guests able to choose either answer.
You could use postcards to keep costs down.
40
Compiling the guest list
Tip
Remember to check that you have the right postage for your invitations.
Guests will be less than pleased if they are charged for incorrect
postage and it will save a lot of time, effort and sheer frustration if you
spend time ensuring each invitation is correctly stamped.
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Planning a Wedding Reception at Home
Place two seating plans by either side of the entrance to the reception
on easels so that several people at one time can see where they are sit-
ting. Put the guest’ names alphabetically, and put their table number
against their name. The number on each table of the plan should be
easily seen; colour coding can be helpful too.
There are numerous different ways to identify the tables. You may wish
to name them after your favourite places (Paris, Brighton, Snowdonia,
Covent Garden) or where your guests have travelled from (South Africa,
Scotland), or simply number them. You could choose fruit or herbs
pineapple, mango, kiwi, rosemary, thyme or coriander are some sugges-
tions. Favourite or famous restaurants are other possibilities (The Ritz,
The Savoy, Momma Cherri’s Soul Food Shack)
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Compiling the guest list
Use fresh fruit and vegetables. Pineapples and pomegranates, for exam-
ple, add panache. Or use chillies and tomatoes in pots in high summer
with foilage to create a different look.
Poinsettisa, evergreen, red ribbons and mini trees can be highly effective
in winter.
For a beach effect, fill attractive buckets with sand, scatter with shells
and other seaside paraphernalia.
What do you do with your floral arrangements after the party? Contract
a nursing home beforhand to see if they would like the flowers for their
communal areas or ask guests to take them home with them.
Place cards
After people consult the seating plan they won’t remember who they are
sat next to; place cards are essential for your guests’ smooth transition
from looking at the seating plan to finding their table. You could hand
make them, but be sure that the names are legible.
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Planning a Wedding Reception at Home
Table menus
Either have menus printed, or hand write them as clearly as possible. Check
with your caterer for the correctly-named dish and its components, or make
sure that the catering you are providing matches the wording on the menu.
Guests will be rightly perplexed it says Chicken chasseur with a white wine,
cream and herb sauce only to be served Chicken with a saffron sauce.
Tip
You only need two or three menus per table of ten.
The shape of the room or marquee plays a major part in determining the
arrangement of the tables. The tables’ position can add to the atmos-
phere – or detract.
44
Compiling the guest list
Tip
If there are too many tables in a small space or too few in a large space
it can spoil a party.
It is advisable not to have too much space between tables as guests can
feel a tad too apart from each other. It is essential, if you are using a
caterer, to talk to them about the layout and to the hall hirer about how
many tables and chairs will best fit into their venue. You want your
guests to be comfortable and not too squeezed in – or made to feel as
if they really are in a barn.
The number of people at each table is, of course, defined by your guest list.
The type of chair is crucial; some are too big and take up too much space
around a table. It could make a difference to you if you can seat eight
rather than six around a table – too large a chair might make it impossible.
Also, bear in mind that waiting staff need to get to each place, and your
guests will leave to go to the toilet, go out for a cigarette or to speak to
someone at another table. You need sufficient space around each table
for ease of access.
Check it out
G Don’t think that a child will take up less space. They still need a
chair – this equals one space.
G Round tables look more attractive than square ones.
G Long trestle tables, banquet-style, can give you more space.
They also help to create an easier, more friendly atmosphere
with more of a communal feeling.
45
Planning a Wedding Reception at Home
Guests seated at long tables also have more people they can
G
talk to if the tables aren’t too wide. If they are too wide then all
is lost: they can only speak to the person on their left and on
their right. If those people are engaged in conversation with
others on their immediate left or right, that guest is isolated.
It is better to have fewer tables with more people on them than fewer
tables with a handful of guests who may have nothing in common and
soon tire of their companions.
Seating guests
You can encourage a good atmosphere, but not completely run it. It’s up
to your guests to play their part and help you celebrate your day. When
deciding on the seating, the following points are worth considering:
G The jury is out whether you seat people who know one another
together or those who are new to one another. I suggest you
use a bit of psychology when seating various people; many
guests may be keen to meet new people, others less gregarious.
G Avoid seating people together who you know don’t get on.
G Try to match people, for example those who may have subjects
in common or who you think will hit it off.
G Mix the sexes up.
G Don’t sit all the elderly together: they will benefit from sitting
next to other generations, and vice versa.
G Sit small children next to their parents.
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Compiling the guest list
Tip
If you have a number of children coming get some booster seats in
rather than high chairs. You can use the chairs you have chosen, and
the booster seats simply go on them. But check them out beforehand to
see if they are suitable and safe.
I would suggest the more usual European banquet style of seating. This
means everyone has a more pleasurable time as they have people oppo-
site to talk to as well as those on either side.
However, formality often wins the day – in which case here is a tradi-
tional layout.
But the pattern may shift if, for example, the bride’s parents are
divorced and remarried. Then you could do:
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Planning a Wedding Reception at Home
This seating plan can be adapted to suit any possibilities. For example, a
brother or sister can replace the father who may be absent. A favourite
godparent may also be elevated to the top table. There are no hard and
fast rules in today’s society.
G bride’s mother
G groom’s mother
G groom’s father
G bride’s father
G bride
G groom
G head bridesmaid
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Compiling the guest list
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Planning a Wedding Reception at Home
The roles which come easily to mind are bridesmaids (for second mar-
riages with older children), ring bearers (page boys), best man or chief
bridesmaid, again for older children, flower girls, and ushers – and if
everyone is willing there is a lot to be said for this.
Involving children
G Some children are shy and won’t wish to be involved. Suggest a
behind-the-scenes task to make them feel included.
G Ask older children to hand out the order of service in the
church, for example.
G Children are happy to be given tasks before the wedding too
like sticking stamps on the wedding invitations, being involved
in ‘choosing’ the flowers, the wedding cake, some items of food
and what to offer other children to drink.
50
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Planning a Wedding Reception at Home
You’ve come a long way! You have chosen your venue, worked on your
budget after taking into consideration your expectations for your wed-
ding, and decided on your guest list.
Now is the time to fine-tune your equipment hire for the venue, confirm the
size of your marquee, if you are using one, and all other important require-
ments such as, the dance stage, bar, flowers, and other major items.
Tip
To find out about marquee hire companies, equipment hire companies,
village halls and other venues look in your local Yellow Pages either
online or in the book. Google companies too as not all will be in the
Yellow Pages; you may also be looking further afield than in your local
area. Do ask friends and work colleagues for their recommendations too.
Choosing a marquee
Marquees offer a flexible and sizeable facility within which you can
choose the features and design. This allows you to put your stamp on
your marquee and allows freedom from the backdrop that already exists
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Setting the stage: choosing, equipping and decorating your venue
at a fixed venue such as a hotel. If you have the garden space there is
nothing nicer for many people than being able to spend the day at home
entertaining family and friends.
By going for the marquee option you almost inevitably gain far more
control over proceedings, both on the day itself and during the all-
important lead up to the day.
Families can be free from the restrictions which are so often imposed by
fixed venues. These can often limit the timings of the event, the choice of
caterer/florist etc, even down to how loud the band or disco is allowed
to play (but invite the neighbours!). This way you can decide on all the
details, not ones chosen for you.
Tip
Please bear in mind your neighbours, or, if in a village hall, others
living in the area, when turning up volume. Ask the village hall’s man-
ager about restrictions. If there are any please abide by them.
The same applies to your neighbours if you’re holding your wedding at
home: the thump-thump-thump of the base notes late at night can turn
quite sane neighbours into very angry ones. Either invite them or have
the courtesy to phone or drop a note into explain what will be taking
place. Be considerate.
Types of marquee
The marquee business has completely transformed itself in the past two
decades. Forget boy scout brown marquees with guy ropes, the wind
whistling around the space between grass and your legs. As corporations
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Planning a Wedding Reception at Home
and weddings have both become much more classy affairs, marquee
companies have flourished. The types and styles of marquees now avail-
able is simply startling.
G basic marquees
G marquees attached to existing buildings, or free-standing ones
G canopies as extra cover
G marquees with reception areas, dance areas, cloakrooms
G any size and shape – from round to square to fashionable Chinese
hat types which can be linked together for a village effect
G Bedouin tents evoking North Africa complete with wall coverings
G catering marquees.
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Setting the stage: choosing, equipping and decorating your venue
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Planning a Wedding Reception at Home
You may not need the full works of reception area, cloakroom, main
marquee, toilets, catering marquee and covered walkway. Depending on
where it is sited, and if you have access to a kitchen to suit your cater-
ing needs, enough toilets and other space for presents, coats and for
small children to run around in, a basic marquee might be enough.
Tip
An open-sided marquee for summer weddings is an attractive option.
The material can be rolled down. If the weather turns.
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Setting the stage: choosing, equipping and decorating your venue
Buffet tables, bar/s and viewing points have to be allowed for. The position
of the top table and cake table are also important, as photo opportunities,
speeches, the cutting of the cake and so on have to be considered.
If you don’t require too much food preparation – for example if you
have decided on a simple buffet or finger food reception, a smaller
catering marquee will be sufficient. But do factor in space for equipment
storage, food, its final preparation on trestle tables, drinks and rubbish.
And position it well so that staff can manoeuvre food and drink around
the marquee easily.
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Planning a Wedding Reception at Home
Reveals
These are another feature of modern marquee design, and are an excel-
lent way of introducing an element of surprise and fun to your wedding
reception. A reveal is actually a false wall that is easily removable to
‘reveal’ an area behind. The most popular one is to shield a band
area/stage/dance floor or dining area from view until a given moment.
Typically the dance floor can be revealed by dropping the false wall
after speeches, giving the band the signal to start playing. Alternatively
the dining area can be revealed at the end of reception. Some upper-end
marquee companies will be able to give you a quote.
Additional features
By positioning windows carefully marquee companies will maximise the nat-
ural views offered by the marquee site. They will also take into
consideration the fact that it is either a daytime event or at night, when out-
side lighting can provide attractive illuminated views of the features outside.
Toilets
Portable toilets are an essential requirement if your guest list is a sizeable
one. Available as single toilet units or as trailer mounted multi loos, they
can be hired in many guises including basic ‘bog standard’ single units,
luxury trailers, disabled toilets and loos with baby changing facilities as well
as bespoke toilets, designed specifically for the event location. There are
also companies which provide CD players, pictures, white porcelain bowls
and solid oak or mahogany wood panelling and other luxuries.
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Setting the stage: choosing, equipping and decorating your venue
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Planning a Wedding Reception at Home
Do bear in mind that these figures will vary as to the type and size of
the tables and chairs chosen. The siting and size of the buffet and bar
also have an impact on numbers fitting in comfortably.
General
White marquee
Fully lined
Matting
Lighting
Tables
Gilt chairs
Dance floor
100 guests
Typical cost: £3,300.00 (+ VAT £3,877.50)
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Setting the stage: choosing, equipping and decorating your venue
Spring wedding
Marquee
Carpet
Chairs
Tables
Dancefloor
Lighting
300 guests
Heating
Typical cost: £14,000.00 (+VAT £16,450.00)
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Planning a Wedding Reception at Home
G The table layout. It should fit the space so that it isn’t cramped.
Nor should the marquee be so big that atmosphere is lost.
G Check on delivery and collection and erection. Your garden
must not be damaged. Check on vehicle access and space.
G The company should be flexible with numbers. If numbers grow
and you wish to change the table configuration, find out if it is
possible and what the cut-off time might be (for example, two
weeks before the wedding).
G The company must check with the caterer (you or a profes-
sional one) to ensure there is enough space both inside and
outside the marquee. This means both the service/preparation
area and the dining/bar areas within the main body of the mar-
quee itself.
G Get key suppliers to meet onsite early on to ensure they are all
working towards the same goals. This includes the marquee
company, the heating and lighting companies if they are differ-
ent from the marquee company, the caterer, the toilet hire
company and any other key player you have employed.
G The heating. How efficient are the heaters and how much noise
do they create? Inefficient, noisy heating systems can ruin a
wedding. I speak from experience.
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Setting the stage: choosing, equipping and decorating your venue
Tip
Marquee security is vital both before and after the wedding. Don’t be
tempted to put all your alcohol in the marquee as it could be stolen.
This applies to anything of value, including presents, left overnight. Take
out insurance and secure the marquee.
Factor in lighting paths. This can be forgotten, with the result the people
have to find the toilets, the entrance to the venue or the way back to a
car park in the dark, which creates accidents. Ask the marquee company
for advice or light paths yourself. If choosing candles and other naked
flames, make sure they are placed safely and don’t create a fire hazard.
Also bear in mind your guest list; children love to play with them.
You may have a lovely village hall available to book for your wedding
but if not, do look at neighbouring villages. Ask friends and family for
recommendations and contact parish councils to see what they may be
able to offer.
When you have found a venue you like, ask questions (as outlined in
Chapter 1) regarding costs, deposit, seating capacity, equipment, alcohol
licence, the catering facilities and other essential information. Other
things to remember are:
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Planning a Wedding Reception at Home
Ask what time the venue will be available from so that you can
G
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Setting the stage: choosing, equipping and decorating your venue
There are two avenues open to you: to hire equipment which goes back
clean (a cheaper method), or to hire equipment which goes back dirty. I
suggest the latter as it is worth its weight in gold, especially if you are
working in a marquee with no running water or in a small kitchen. With
the best will in the world, washing up 100 first course, main course and
dessert plates, plus hundreds of glasses and cutlery items, is beyond
most people unless they have a dedicated team.
If working from a village hall you may find that the hall has sufficient
plates, cutlery, glasses and serving dishes for your needs. But don’t
bank on it. When visiting the hall count all items as you may find – too
late – that you don’t have enough plates or cutlery. There may also be
a combination of various sets given to the hall, or they may be inferior
quality. If so you could think about hiring your own equipment.
Village hall kitchens are rarely updated to a high standard. There may be
insufficient sink space and the water boiler often can’t cope with a large
party. Ask those in charge about the boiler capacity.
Equipment list
You may require the following:
G table linen
G napkins (or have paper ones)
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Planning a Wedding Reception at Home
side plates
G
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Setting the stage: choosing, equipping and decorating your venue
Tip
When calculating how many glasses, plates, for example, needed for the
party, take into consideration, glasses for water, pre and post-dinner
drinks, glasses for staff, musicians and others who may be at the party,
such as drivers.
Furniture
You will obviously need chairs, tables and buffet tables. These can be
either hired through the equipment company or from the marquee com-
pany. Bear in mind that large tables and chairs take up a lot of space. If
space is at a premium whenever you are, choose less bulky tables and
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Planning a Wedding Reception at Home
chairs (some tables for ten can seat eight, for example, with smaller types
of chairs). Go the French wedding route and choose joined up trestle
tables in long rows. They are more fun and inclusive and less formal.
Tip
Many equipment hire companies offer top-quality items such as:
G Villeroy & Boch presentation plates
G coloured glass water goblets
G coloured glass liner plates
G plain or cut crystal glassware
G speciality linen – velvet, brocade and textured fabrics
G chair covers – all the rage at the moment
G napkins tied with ribbon to match the décor.
Getting quotes
Once you have decided on your equipment hire company, ask them for
a quote. Go through it very thoroughly and weed out items you think
you may not need. At the same time add items you have left out –
coffee spoons or salts and peppers for example.
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Setting the stage: choosing, equipping and decorating your venue
Tip
Give the company good directions and a map if necessary.
There is rarely enough time to count all the items when setting up a
party but, if you can ensure this is done, you will save yourself a lot of
bother and possible expense if items are missing. Or your staff may only
have the time at the end of the party when clearing away and stacking
everything into their boxes to do a count, cross-checking the list which
came with the order. Note the losses and breakages.
If you do have the time to check every item and find that some are
broken, chipped, cracked or just missing, inform the hire company as
soon as possible after the party. Also check each tablecloth. Some may
have holes or tears or are stained. Don’t get charged for these.
Tip
If you are using friends and family members as staff ask them to watch
out when clearing food in the bin when emptying plates. It’s so easy to
discard cutlery with leftover food which you will have to pay the equip-
ment hire company for replacements. This goes for some untrained staff
too who may be too rushed as there may not be enough people to help
with service. They may try to cut corners – with expensive results.
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Planning a Wedding Reception at Home
Tip
When clearing glasses make sure that those doing it know how to do so
properly or breakages will occur. You will then be liable to replace all
broken items.
But where do you start? First of all you should have already decided on:
If the tables are spread too far apart your guests will feel very isolated
at their tables. If you place the tables too close together guests will feel
uneasy and not have any room to extend their chairs in order to visit
the buffet, toilets, bar or to talk to other guests.
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Setting the stage: choosing, equipping and decorating your venue
Tip
If you intend to have wedding entertainment during the meal, such as
musicians or magicians, make sure you factor in the space as this may
also impact on the way in which the tables are arranged in the room.
G place cards
G markers
G notebooks
G pens
G rulers
Step 1:
Go through your acceptance list and make sure everyone is accounted
for, including those who responded verbally and members of the wed-
ding party, as well as their partners and children.
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Planning a Wedding Reception at Home
Step 2
List the names of couples and their small children in groups, so you can
seat the family together. You may decide on a teen table. But don’t seat
all the elderly together: mix up society.
Step 3
If you are having a head or top table, list those who will sit there. You
may wish their partners to sit at a nearby table.
Step 4
Draw a diagram of your reception venue, indicating the locations of the
tables, the band or DJ, the cake, buffet tables and so forth. Keep in mind
that elderly people or those with hearing problems probably won’t
enjoy sitting next to the speakers; pregnant women may want to be
close to the toilets and disabled people will need access.
Step 5
Number the tables in a logical order so they’ll be easy to locate.
Step 6
Write down each table number, followed by lines equal to the number of
seats available at the table (usually eight or ten).
Step 7
List the names of everyone who will be given a particular table. Allocate
people to tables rather than actual seats, as this system is easier for you
and allows for friendly mingling. Or, if you wish for a more formal seat-
ing plan, allocate seats for each guest.
Step 8
Arrange for an extra table to accommodate those who respond at the
last minute.
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Setting the stage: choosing, equipping and decorating your venue
Step 9
Make signs bearing the number for each table and assign someone to
place the signs as you have indicated on your diagram. Someone should
be designated to have the diagram and the guest list in case there is a
question. Compile a guest list with table number as a cross-reference.
Step 10
Prepare place cards for the head table and for all tables if you have
decided on seating everyone.
Step 11
Make two large table plans and place them at the entrance to the dining
area, placing them at a good height for all to see without having to bend
over. Write clearly or print the names off in bold capitals and cut and
paste. Check the seating plan by checking all the names off to make sure
you have included everyone.
Tip
In this website-crazy world there is, of course, software for setting up a
seating plan. www.perfecttableplan.com has so many bells and whistles
that you’ll be able to set up an entire banquet for the Queen and visit-
ing dignitaries if you wish.
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Planning a Wedding Reception at Home
The choice is daunting when it comes to choosing which ones for church
or registry office or venue. You may also wish you and your brides-
maids, if going down this traditional route, to have bouquets or
headdresses. Which colours, shapes and sizes will best suit the bride and
the bridesmaids? What flowers are in season? You really need to consult
a florist for these questions but do visit a number to find the right one
for you. Many florists will offer the following:
Florists may also give a free bridal bouquet if you spend a certain sum
on flowers, offer original flower designs and also the hire of decorative
trees such as birches and vases.
Flower tips
Instead of paper confetti, a shower of flower petals is a most attractive
ceremony send-off – and biodegradable.
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Setting the stage: choosing, equipping and decorating your venue
At one time the bride’s flowers had to be white, but this no longer
applies and any colour flowers can be used. The bride and bridesmaids
usually carry bouquets or posies, and the bride may choose to wear one
or more flowers in her hair or on her headdress.
Some people refer to the symbolic meaning of flowers when they choose
flowers for their wedding. Orange blossom is one flower that has always
been associated with weddings because it signifies purity and chastity.
Roses are a popular choice as they represent love while some people
avoid peonies as they represent shame. Ivy symbolises eternal love.
The meanings of some flowers can differ between cultures. Lilies repre-
sent death to some people, while to others they indicate majesty. Some
suggestions include choosing flowers which hold special memories or
family significance.
The flowers you can use on your big day will also depend on the season.
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Reception flowers
Floral decorations for your reception might include a large display just
inside the entrance and arrangements for each table. The wedding party
table will feature a more ornate floral design.
Cake flowers
Flowers are a lovely fresh addition to wedding cakes and are an attrac-
tive alternative to traditional bride and groom figures. Flowers which sit
flat such as gerberas look particularly effective.
If you wish to do your own flowers, here are some tips on seasonal ones
and which flowers go with others.
Hyacinths are available from November to April and are grown in the UK
and Holland. Striking hyacinths impress on their own or with foliage and
other spring flowers.
Lilies are available all year round, and are grown in Spain, South Africa,
Holland and the UK. Stunning enough to be used alone, they also work
well as a focal point for a large arrangement.
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Setting the stage: choosing, equipping and decorating your venue
Roses come in a range of colours, except blue. They are available all
year round and are grown in countries such as Holland, Kenya,
Zimbabwe, Israel and the UK. Roses look beautiful in any arrangement.
Try them in a simple vase with a limonium and don’t be afraid to experi-
ment with the many different colours and shapes available.
Freesias are available in the UK, particularly in the Channel Islands and
Holland. They are available all year round. Freesias add fragrance to any
arrangement, but they are also delightful on their own or with foliage.
They also work well with roses.
Stocks are most plentiful in May and September, but they can be found
almost all year round. The main sources of supply are the UK and
Holland in the summer and Israel and Kenya in the winter. Striking
enough to hold their own in a large arrangement, Stocks also work well
with foliage or on their own.
Agapanthus The main season is June to August but it can also be found
in November and December. It is mainly cultivated in Holland. Use the
long stems and large flower heads of the agapanthus to your advantage
by using them on their own in a striking arrangement. They are also able
to stand their ground in larger arrangements.
Ornithogalum is available all year round, but the peak period is from
July to October. It is mainly supplied by Holland, the Channel Islands,
Spain, Kenya and South Africa. Star-shaped flowers work well in
arrangements with other star-shaped flowers. Go for contrasting colours
and textures.
Sunflowers are plentiful from July to October when they are grown in the UK
and Holland. They are also available at other times of the year from Israel
and Spain. Sunflowers can be arranged simply in a tall vase. They also look
stunning in large arrangements, or with natural green foliage and flowers.
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Planning a Wedding Reception at Home
Protea The main countries to supply the protea are Australia and South
Africa. They are available all year round. Proteas are large flowers with
heavy stems, so they need a sturdy container. Arrange them on their
own with a small amount of foliage.
Allium Grown in Holland, Israel, France and Kenya, alliums are available
as cut flowers between January and August in a range of colours includ-
ing blue, pink, yellow and white. The tall stems of Allium giganteum look
spectacular on their own in a large, glass vase.
Strelitzia They are available all year round and are grown in their native
South America, the Canary Islands and Sri Lanka. These flowers can be
displayed on their own in a tall sturdy container, and they are excellent
for display work. The large, leathery leaves are also useful for foliage.
Lisianthus Available all year round, in the winter the main supplier is
Kenya and the rest of the year they come from Holland and the UK.
They look good on their own in a tall vase or with green foliage.
Bloom Chrysanthemums are available all year. The single bloom or stan-
dard chrysanthemums have one bloom on each stem. They are usually
the larger types of chrysanthemum, and are available in a range of
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Setting the stage: choosing, equipping and decorating your venue
colours from white and gold through to red. Try arranging chrysanthe-
mums with seasonal foliage.
Oriental Lilies Today, the main sources of supply of oriental lilies are the
UK, Holland and Spain. They are available all year round, but are more
abundant in summer and early autumn. Single blooms or several blooms
displayed in a tall vase look very effective. They can also be combined
with other flowers or foliage.
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5 Planning the
entertainment for your
wedding
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Planning the entertainment for your wedding
Entertainment possibilities
G acrobats
G bagpipe players
G balloon rides
G barn dance and caller
G bouzouki (Greek) band
G calypso
G camel racing!
G coconut shies
G dodgems
G face painters
G fruit machines
G fortune tellers
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Planning a Wedding Reception at Home
guitarists
G
G indoor fireworks
G harpists
G jesters
G juke boxes
G magicians
G rhythm and blues band
G tarot readers.
There are many other types of entertainment too. You could engage one
of the groups of singers who dress up to look like waiting or other staff,
only to sing at different tables rather than on stage.
If you do engage any acts, make sure you get a contract or a written
statement which should include their intended playing time, or numbers
of acts the company will perform, and their charges in full including any
travel or other expenses.
Tip
Ask friends and family for recommended acts. You will be surprised how
many of them will have some ideas.
Deciding on music
There are so many different types of music, from classical guitar and
harp to full big band and country and western or jazz, that you might
find the choice quite daunting. On the other hand you may have a clear
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Planning the entertainment for your wedding
view of what kind you would like at your wedding, be it singers, a single
violin playing in the church followed by a Jewish klezmer band, or good
old-fashioned rock and roll after the meal and speeches.
You don’t have to have a 20-piece band to make your party go with a
swing; it’s up to you what music you choose to set the atmosphere.
Don’t, however, choose only the kind of music you personally like (rap
won’t go down too well with the majority of your guests!). Choose
music which will give a sense of occasion and joy; music to dance or
listen to. Remember that your neighbours may not like the decibels
cranked up to full volume late at night if you are having your reception
at home or in a built-up area. Inviting the neighbours is one way to get
around this.
Hiring musicians
When narrowing down your preferred type of music, ask those musicians
who you have contacted to send a demo tape or CD. Most bands have them.
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Planning a Wedding Reception at Home
Be clear on what you expect. Check the set-up time, when you would
like the music, the type of music (fast or slow), and inform musicians of
the order of the day so they don’t arrive too early – or too late. Get a
contract and check the details.
Tip
Contact the local symphony orchestra if you prefer classical music.
Many musicialns earn extra money by working at weddings.
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Planning the entertainment for your wedding
DJ hire tips
When choosing your disc jockey try to do the following:
G Ask your friends for recommendations and find out about the
DJ’s personality.
G Ask potential DJs for their play list.
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Planning a Wedding Reception at Home
G Find out if he or she uses fade mixing (starting the next song as
the one being played is faded out), beat mixing (blending two
songs that have similar beats and tempos to create a seamless
transition from one song to the next), playback medium (com-
pact discs, minidisks, cassette tapes, records, or a combination)
or other methods.
G Find out about the equipment used: the better the sound
system, the better the reproduction.
Tips
Ask your band or DJ how long it will take them to set up and if they
need any equipment or special plugs or cables.
G cover fee
G per hour fee
G album fee
G duplicate album fee
G extras
G if videography has music incorporated in the package deal.
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Planning the entertainment for your wedding
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Planning a Wedding Reception at Home
Tip
Place disposable cameras on guests’ tables – they can take more candid
and informal shots which add a further memorable record of your day.
There are different levels you can go to when filming, and you need to
decide what you want. Do you want it simply of the service – with no
intrusion – or more? It is up to you how far you want it to go, but be
aware that too much can be a distraction and an irritation.
Toastmaster
Toastmasters are both men and women and often part of a guild of
Toastmasters. They can add a real sense of occasion. The Toastmaster’s
duties include the following:
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Planning the entertainment for your wedding
They can also guide the bride and groom through the tradition of the
cutting of the cake, announce the speakers in correct order and time-
honoured fashion, assist the bride and groom with the presentation of
their gifts and, at the appropriate time, provide a suitable conclusion to
the wedding breakfast.
If it is a civil ceremony they can also be available to assist and guide the
wedding party and guests immediately prior to and after the formalities
of the ceremony.
If you search on the internet for ‘toastmaster UK’ you will find many
companies specialising in this service. Contact them for details and costs.
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6 Planning the menu
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Planning the menu
The first point must be how many guests you will invite to your wed-
ding. If it is too daunting a task to contemplate cooking for 100 – or
even 30 – then finding a caterer is the next step.
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Planning a Wedding Reception at Home
Qualifications
Although not essential, you might like to find out what qualifications and
training the caterer has, and ask to see the certificates. But a word of
common sense: not all caterers have qualifications, and many gifted
amateurs have started up their business with nothing but creativity and
flair on their side. Some qualifications are meaningless.
Insurance
Check whether the caterer has insurance, and if they do, find out exactly
what type of things the insurance covers.
Fresh food
You want the food served at your celebration to be as fresh as possible,
so ask the catering firm whether they use fresh food and produce. Ask
them about the quality of their sourcing: do they buy free-range chicken
for example? Some caterers use frozen or canned foods. If they do, don’t
take them on. The best caterers make everything from scratch using good
quality, well-sourced food and cook with flair and imagination.
Portions
If you’re planning a formal sit-down meal then it’s important to find out
the size of the portions, particularly if you’ve got salmon or steak on the
menu. It’s also worth checking the portions for a buffet. For example, it
is very difficult to make sure that vegetarian dishes going only to vege-
tarians in a buffet. Ask the caterer to do more portions as guests often
try a little of everything.
Taste testing
Some caterers hold taste testing sessions. You want your guests to have
a meal to remember – for all the right reasons – so ask to try some of
the food of those caterers you have narrowed down.
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Tip
Beware of caterers whose menus are relentlessly carbohydrate-led with a
plethora of sausage rolls, pastry-laden food, breads and other ‘beige
food’. This is very cheap catering with little freshness, imagination, colour
and texture to the food and one way of making a proposterously high
profit. Choose caterers who cook fresh, perhaps local food, and offer lots
of protein such as chicken and fish rather than potatoes and quiches.
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on the contract are the meal plan, type of service and staff provided,
the cake and drinks.
If you are having a small wedding for, say, 30 people, you may wish to cut
the costs and prepare the food yourself or with others. I will outline some
of easy-to-prepare dishes in Chapter 7 – the kind of dishes that can be pre-
pared in advance and served by either friends, family or hired staff.
Very simple food is the key to success: make the best cold roast beef,
the best potato salad, the best green salad with croutons and homemade
vinaigrette, the best vegetarian Thai salad with or without prawns, the
best breads, cheeses, fruit salad. Notice the link? All cold food prepared
in advance and dished up easily, without fuss.
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Tip
Many amateur cooks tend to over-complicate menus and start cooking
for the freezer as soon as the wedding day is announced. Why? By
choosing simple dishes, the food can all be prepared within three days
of the event. The outcome a far tastier, fresh meal. Keep it simple in
every way. Panic not!
Buffet
A buffet can simply be a choice of three dishes plus one or two vegetar-
ian ones, a selection of breads, cheeses and a dessert. Keep it simple by
doing one dessert plus the cake or simply use the cake, as your dessert,
adding fresh fruit, berries, cream or ice cream when serving it.
Pros: Buffets score as they keep down costs. A three course meal
requires more staff and more kitchen space while a buffet offers two
courses only, the main course and dessert. Dishes can be prepared in
advance, can all be cold with, for example, the addition of hot new
potatoes, and can be a great variety of flavours and textures.
Cons: Your guests might have to queue for their food for a long time if
the buffet isn’t managed properly. This can be dealt with effectively by
having several ‘stations’ serving the same food. You may also have prob-
lems with guests not getting their fair share if some of the more popular
dishes run out. When compiling a buffet menu it is advisable to identify
those dishes that will be more popular and make greater quantities.
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The food can be a mix of hot and cold bite-sized concoctions made in
advance and simply re-heated if required, or served cold or at room
temperature. The sky’s the limit with the array of food you can offer
your guests, from Chinese, Thai, Malaysian and Japanese to Italian,
Spanish, Moroccan, British and French.
Pros: Platters of food are handed around with drinks, and the party last-
ing rarely over three hours. Staff are kept to a minimum. Little is spent
on hiring chairs, tables, plates and other equipment.
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Cons: Unless the food is handled well, it can be a disaster as some guests
may not get any food if they are ignored by amateur staff who only serve
those closest to the kitchen exit. The food must be of high quality, not the
‘beige food’ I mentioned before. As it is a celebration, the food must
reflect this. Check your guest list: if you have many elderly people coming
they will not appreciate standing for any length of time.
It can be in or out of doors, and your guests can be asked to dress appro-
priately in cocktail dresses and black tie. This type of party can last
anywhere between two and five hours in the afternoon or early evening.
Just make sure the trays or tiered stands are replenished regularly to soak
up the champagne. Tea is a very welcome addition to a reception from the
start as it encourages guests not to over-drink, and caters for different ages.
Pros: You will keep costs down by not having to hire chairs, tables,
plates, cutlery and other equipment. All the food can be prepared in
advance, and you will need fewer staff. Live music – jazz, smooth Frank
Sinatra-type, light classics or from the musicals – is a must to add an
extra layer of atmosphere to your wedding reception, and your guests
can dance. You can consider having more guests as costs are quite low
despite the champagne or sparkling wine. (But make sure it’s good qual-
ity whatever you choose to buy.)
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Cons: There aren’t many! Apart from some guests not being able to
stand for long, in which case you may like to have small round tables
with chairs scattered about the venue or garden to make your guests
more comfortable.
Party ‘stations’
Club Med, the French holiday company, hit on a great idea to serve
their guests food. At many of their holiday destinations they group dif-
ferent types of food in a food court, and guests can choose different
styles of food from all over the world. You could offer some of the fol-
lowing, each served at different ‘stations’:
G tapas
G fish and chips
G BBQ ribs and burgers
G hog roast
G curries and rice
G Chinese dishes with noodles, served in appropriate bowls
G cookie, brownie and pancake American stall
G chocolate in all its glories.
Pros: Guests choose their own food. The variety is appealing, and the
mood one of fun.
Cons: You will need a lot of organising for this one and good staff to
man the stations. You may wish to tackle it by finding a caterer who spe-
cialises in this type of catering.
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When deciding on what to put on your menu think about these guidelines.
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Tip
When narrowing down dishes for your menu, think about the amount of
time it may take to prepare each dish. If something is too time-consum-
ing you will regret having put it on the menu.
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If you don’t offer them food they will most probably help themselves
and thereby create problems with the amount of food prepared for your
guests. It happens! Treat them well and they will respond in kind.
G Set yourself a budget and get several quotes from several cake
makers.
G Look in magazines, online or in cake shops for inspiration.
G Ask to taste their cake.
G Ask to see their portfolio of types of cakes they offer.
G Check to see if they can deliver your cake to the venue.
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Tip
Add strawberries, blueberries, raspberries and softly-whipped cream or
ice cream to pieces of cake for dessert. Sponge or chocolate wedding
cakes are especially suitable; fruit cakes overwhelm everything.
They can be bought ready-made, or you can ask a baker to make them or
bake them yourself. Members of the family or friends can also take part.
Make a tiered effect with the cupcakes and place a small wedding cake
on the top, decorated with crystalised petals. Get inspiration from maga-
zines, the baker or cake maker. It adds an intimacy to your wedding as
everyone gets their individual cupcake.
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Cheese cake
There are people out there who don’t like cake. If you want a totally differ-
ent wedding cake, the cheese cake (no, it’s not cheesecake), is a series of
layered cheeses, starting with the largest disk at the bottom which is
placed on a cake stand, followed by the next largest and so on. Each layer
is separated by carboard disk and lilies or other flowers are added to each
layer. It can culminate in a topnotch of pale cream roses, for example.
Several companies make these cakes for you (but don’t provide the
flowers) or you can make your own. For 100 guests count on a 10kg cake
(100g per person). Costs vary according to the quality and type of
cheese but a rough calculation is around £2 per person – far cheaper
than a traditional cake. You can buy twice the quantities needed and use
the rest at a later date – some cheeses, particularly blue, freeze won-
derfully. For more details look at the House of Cheese website.
(www.houseofcheese.co.uk).
Croquembouche
The French do wedding cakes in style. This one is a high cone of prof-
iteroles (baked choux pastry filled with crème patissiere – pastry
cream) bound with caramel and decorated with threads of caramel, sug-
ared almonds, chocolates, flowers or ribbons. The word comes from
croquet en bouche, meaning ‘crunch in the mouth’.
Specialist bakers can make these for you, and one usually serves around
30–40. As they are delicate, packaging and delivery is of the utmost
importance. But it is most definitely achievable. The advantage of the
croquembouche is that it is the dessert, not an add-on like the tradi-
tional wedding cake.
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This round chocolate cake is encased with a light icing and is often beau-
tifully decorated in a lace fashion. Ask a French patisserie for advice on
how to track one of these lovely creations. They may oblige and make
one for you or recommend a company.
The cake cutting ceremony is a ritual which takes place at the reception,
usually after the main meal but it can take place at the beginning of the
reception. The bride and groom cut the cake together which symbolises
their future.
Cakes in previous times were thrown over the bride or crumbled over
her head, again to denote fertility.
Old English customs include throwing cake on a plate out of the window
when the bride returned home to her parents. She would have a happy
future if the plate broke but if it didn’t she might endure a less than happy
marriage. This robust symbolic tradition was to be found in Yorkshire.
Another old English custom was to place a ring in the wedding cake. The
guest who found the ring in their the piece of cake would be ensured
happiness for the next year.
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The shape of the modern three tiered iced cake is reported to have been
modelled on London’s Bride’s Church, rather aptly. It is said that unmar-
ried guests who place a piece of wedding cake under their pillow before
sleeping will increase their prospects of finding a partner and bridesmaids
who do likewise will dream of their future husbands.
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7 Doing your own
catering
Let’s go back to the basics. What is catering? It’s the business of prepar-
ing, presenting and serving good food appropriate to a brief – in this
case, your wedding.
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Let’s also examine the strengths you have to carry out the task ahead of
you. Although it may be a one-off catering job for you, you should pos-
sess some, if not all, of these assets:
G motivation
G organisation
G self-discipline
G a calm nature
G an ability to prioritise
G good delegating skills
G good communication skills.
This chapter will guide you on how to choose a menu to match your
skills and the skills of those cooks joining you. It will also help you with
the following:
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Choosing a menu
Simplicity is the best way forward; the simpler the food offered the
easier and more pleasant it will be for you, your helpers and your
guests. No one expects you to become a first class seasoned chef just
because you have opted to do your own catering.
If you have decided to go down the sit-down route I suspect that your
guest list may be under 40 as it is quite a daunting task – even with the
best will in the world – to be calm and measured on the day.
Hog roasts
If you wish to do a simple, yet always pleasing meal, order in a hog roast.
Companies who specialise in these will supply the hog, the equipment,
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staff and other items. Look up hog roasts in your local phone book and
get a quote. The companies usually offer to provide salads and other
dishes but, if you’re looking for quality (most of the salads offered are
dull coleslaw or potato salad bought from the cash and carry), just order
the hog roast and make your own side dishes such as salads, potato, rice
and pasta dishes (some of which are outlined in this chapter).
Buffet menus
Below are some suggestions. Vegetarians are well-catered for; many
guests will assume you will be catering for them unless you have can-
vassed your guest list and asked each one if they are vegetarian or not.
Most meat eaters enjoy vegetarian food too. I suggest making good quan-
tities as it is hard to police when guests help themselves to the buffet.
I would also suggest avoiding dishes with avocado (it goes brown
quickly even if you’ve sprinkled it with lemon juice, and can spoil the
look of any dish), lamb or pork unless you serve it hot (it can be quite
tough cold unless cooked with care), shellfish (unless you know your
guests’ tastes), dishes that look the same (all beige or white, for exam-
ple) or too many dairy or pastry dishes. Balance, colour, simplicity and
ease of preparation and serving are what you need to focus on.
Dishes with stars by them have recipes which are found at the end of
this chapter.
Menu one
This is one menu which I often cook for weddings and other large par-
ties. It looks colourful, has a good variety of dishes to offer your guests
of which many are suitable for vegetarians.
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G Roasted red and yellow peppers with a mint couscous (V). Can
be prepared two days in advance.
G Cold sliced chicken breast with a pine nut, wild rice, lime and
mango salad. Can be prepared 36 hours beforehand.
G *Salmon in puff pastry with watercress. Can be prepared 24
hours ahead.
G *Crunchy marinated vegetables (V). Can be prepared 24 hours
ahead.
G Green salad with a vinaigrette (V). The vinaigrette can be pre-
pared a week beforehand, the salad arranged in bags and
refrigerated the day before.
G Hot new baby potatoes with seasalt (V). This is the only hot
dish on the menu and always welcome. The potatoes can be
cooked just before you need to serve them and tossed in butter
and seasalt with a sprinkling of chives or flat parsley.
G Quality breads and butter.
G One large brie and one other large cheese (V).
G Eton Mess (V). A mixture of meringues, whipped cream, pureed
soft fruit and strawberries. The meringues can be made a week
in advance, the cream whipped, the fruit pureed 48 hours in
advance and refrigerated. The pudding is then assembled just
prior to being served.
As you can see, this menu is a very simple one. It has colour and few
carbohydrates making it light and extremely tasty. Three of the dishes
barely need preparation: the potatoes, the cheeses and the salad.
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Menu two
G Smoked haddock mousse. Can be made 36 hours in advance.
G Marinated chicken in a lemon and herb dressing. Can be made
24 hours in advance.
G Pasta, red pepper and baby tomato salad with a pesto sauce
(V). Can be made 48 hours in advance.
G Roasted fillet of beef with a horseradish sauce. Can be made 24
hours in advance.
G Crunchy marinated vegetables, green salad, potatoes, breads,
cheeses and Eton Mess from the previous menu.
Below are some other suggestions for cold buffet courses which are suitable
all year round. Remember that all prepared food should be refrigerated.
Main courses
G Pasta, spinach and Parmesan shaving salad
G Duck breast marinated in soya sauce, garlic and ginger and
grilled, served with a puy lentil, onion, ginger and carrot salad
with olive oil and lemon dressing
G Spicy tiger prawns in a tomato and herb sauce served with a
rice salad
G Carrot, orange and flat parsley salad
G Moroccan chick pea salad
G Coronation chicken with cucumber salad
G Chicken with a tarragon sauce
G Lemon chicken with cold ratatouille
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Desserts
These can precede the cake, or non-traditionalists can have them
instead.
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Finger food
Finger food requires no plates as the food is handed around on trays
with napkins. I like to serve colourful food which incorporates meat, fish,
vegetables and sweet items. I also avoid fiddly finger food which
requires a lot of handling, the objective is to be able to prepare simple
food, and serve it simply, without too much work.
You can either do only cold food, or a mix of hot and cold if you have
help behind the scenes. If you do cold food it can all be prepared in
advance and then assembled in the kitchen just before serving. Some of
the suggestions below are able to be plated and covered with cling film
in advance.
When you are calculating how much to prepare, the rule of thumb is ten
bites per person if the food is served over a two hour period, 12–14 if
over a longer period of time. If you choose to serve any of the finger
food below as canapés with drinks prior to your three course meal or
buffet, prepare four per person.
Remember that dishes with stars have recipes at the end of this chapter.
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Hot
G *Chipolata sausages with a mustard and honey glaze. These can
be cooked 24 hours in advance, refrigerated and re-heated in a
honey and mustard sauce.
G Caramelised onion and bacon mini quiches. These can be baked
36 hours ahead of time and re-heated or served cold.
G Ratatouille mini tarts (V). Prepare the ratatouille mix and fill the
bought mini cases before serving. Make the ratatouille 48 hours
beforehand. For extra bite add a sliver of goat’s cheese.
G Thai fishcakes with a soya or chilli dipping sauce. Make these
36 hours in advance, refrigerate and re-heat just before serving.
G Beef and pork mini meatballs with Moroccan spices, served with
yoghurt and cucumber. Prepare these 36 hours beforehand,
refrigerate and re-heat thoroughly before serving with a
yoghurt dip.
G Mini pizzas with mozzarella and olive paste (V). Cut out small
pizzas from large ones using a cutter, top with mozzarella
and olive paste with a slice of baby tomato, bake, refrigerate
and re-heat on the day.
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G Mini hamburgers
G Mini fish and chips
G Mini brownies
G Mini pavlovas (tiny flat meringues topped with small diced fruit
and a dab of whipped cream)
G Mini chocolate éclairs (cut good bought ones in half or thirds).
Tip
If you want sushi, find a good supplier who will prepare a fine selection
for you and possibly deliver them the day before on disposable trays.
Do make sure they are refrigerated until served.
You can buy small pastry cases to fill with ratatouille, chicken liver
mousse and other fillings. These can be found in the biscuit section of
more upmarket supermarkets and delis. Look out for the name Rahms, a
Swedish product I use all the time as the cases are light, un-stodgy and
a perfect bite-size. Other makes are heavy and take over, not allowing
the filling to speak for itself.
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Simple is best
Here are some menu suggestions which are made up of dishes that can
all be pre-prepared; no twiddly, fiddly last-minute cooking is necessary
apart, perhaps, from a vegetable or two. My advice is to ditch the veg –
too fiddly and there is a serious chance of over-cooking – and go for
potatoes and salad. You can use vegetables in the salads too – far better
than offering guests over-cooked, grey, soggy beans and the like. Why
make life difficult for yourself when it is totally unnecessary? Simple
really is best.
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The advantage of this menu again is that all dishes are pre-prepared and
just need to be plated. The fish mousse can already be in ramekin dishes
if you have enough. Otherwise, place a large spoonful attractively on each
plate. Add the cucumber salad alongside the mousse with the rye bread.
Slice the beef and plate it or pass it around on a platter for guests at each
table to help themselves. The potatoes just need to be heated through in a
low oven then carefully offered to guests in their cooking dish. Toss the
salad in the dressing and pass around. The chocolate marquise is sliced
and plated, the raspberry sauce added to the plate.
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Cheeses
G
All of the above dishes are prepared in advance too and just need
assembling prior to serving. You can plate the chicken salad to ensure
that everyone gets their fair share and serve the pasta and tomato salad
in bowls. You could add hot new potatoes to this meal. Either plate each
portion of the meringue dish or get guests to help themselves; each
table can have an attractive bowl to share.
Tip
You can cut down the cost of a three course meal by offering your
guests a selection of canapés from the above list with drinks, then hand
around bowls of the beef or chicken and the puree and salad.
All these dishes can be made in advance and re-heated. Just make sure
they are piping hot. The green bean and cauliflower salad (blanched and
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Food quantities
This often perplexes people when they are catering for large numbers,
and the result more often than not is that a lot of food is thrown out
thanks to over-ordering. Obviously the last thing the hosts wants is for
guests to go hungry. This is after all, a celebration and food and drink
are very much part of the ritual. Getting it spot on is, of course, nigh on
impossible – some guests are exceptionally fond of their food – but the
following guidance will help.
When calculating how much food you need for your buffet, look at the
most popular dishes and double the amount as you don’t want to run
out of those particular ones.
Meat, chicken, beef, lamb, pork, duck, veal, venison and other game
G 225g per person from a roast
G 140g per person for stews and casseroles (if the dish has other
main ingredients such as mushrooms and shallots), otherwise
increase the meat content to 225g
G 125g for buffets if other dishes such as fish are also offered
G ribs: three per person
G One chicken breast per person if a main course dish, otherwise
–21 a breast if part of a buffet consisting of other meat and fish
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Rice, pasta, grains, pulses (puy lentils and chick peas, for example)
G rice: 30g per person with a main course or in a salad
G pasta and noodles: 85g per person for a first course, 140g for a
main course or 30g with a main course and two vegetables or
buffet
G lentils, chick peas, beans, couscous: 60g per person with a main
course or as part of a buffet salad
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Dairy produce
G cheese: 115g per person, or half if part of a buffet
G butter: 30g per person with bread or biscuits with cheese
G cream or milk with tea or coffee: 85 ml per person
G ice cream: 140ml on its own or 50 ml if served with a dessert
Other ingredients
G small rolls: two per person
G large rolls: one per person
G mousses, parfaits, terrines: 120–150g per person depending on
the content (with strong fish or chocolate, less is needed)
G fresh fruit salad: 115g per person
G sweet or savoury tarts: a 30 cm tart gives eight to ten portions
depending on the type
G sauces to go with meat or fish: 30 ml per person
G mayonnaise: 30 ml per person
G vinaigrette: 30 ml per person
Tip
When making couscous, lentils, pasta, carrot salad or potato salad, meas-
ure out a portion into another container using a heaped serving spoon,
counting the portions and marking them down. This way you can be sure
of having enough. This method can be used to measure any type of dish
such as fruit salad or sauce. You be the judge of what the most popular
dishes are – and remember to double up on the spoon count.
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Canapés
Choose food that will give a variety of texture, flavour and colour. You
may wish to offer your guests a mix of savoury and sweet. At a wedding
reception, for example, 12 savoury (a mix of vegetarian and meat or
fish) and three sweet canapés.
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Tip
For a sense of drama use this catering company trick: napkin-covered
pedestals or boxes add different levels to your table for highlighting a
dessert, the cheeseboard or a sumptuous bread display. Use the
pedestals to create, depth, variety and a feeling of the land of plenty.
How to shop
This may sound as if I’m teaching the proverbial granny to suck eggs but
it is crucial to know when to shop and how to store your food pur-
chases. It is also vital to know when to order specialist produce so that
your chosen dishes can feature on the menu you have been working on.
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First of all, have you chosen your menu? Congratulations on this mean
feat! You’ve taken into consideration your guests’ needs (vegetarians,
allergies, perhaps cultural or religious diets) and you’re raring to go.
If you have free-range or organic chicken on the menu have you found a
good supplier? The same goes for other produce such a beef fillet (shop
around), venison, quail or other game. If you have decided on salmon,
which type will you buy (wild, organic or farmed?). Get several quotes
from different suppliers, including supermarkets, and once you have
decided which supplier you would like to use, order in advance. Specify
if you would like each fish fillet cut into a specific size, for example,
how you would like them packaged and when you would like them deliv-
ered or when to pick the supplies up.
Refrigeration
G Do you have enough refrigeration?
G Is your fridge/fridges set at the right temperature? 4°C is the
right temperature.
G Will you hire a commercial-type fridge if your party is a large
one?
G Can you set aside a clean, dry area for all dry goods and other
produce?
Before doing any ordering, taste, taste, taste. Bargain. Ask for wholesale
prices if you’re buying in bulk. Go to farmers’ markets, farm shops and
other outlets for local produce. See it as a delicious, exciting challenge
rather than a tiresome chore.
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Timeline
1 Order your main ingredients and specify a date for delivery or
collection. For meat, fish and other perishables, depending on
their shelf life, it should be around three to five days before
starting to cook.
2 Once you have finalised your dry goods list, shop around to see
where the best deals can be found. Always bear in mind quality
over quantity. Don’t be tempted to impulse-buy as you could
end up with ingredients you will not use, creating a hole in your
budget. It may also mean that if you do buy items not on the list,
you create an imbalance on your menu. Stick to the plan.
3 Order all dairy and perishable goods a good three weeks to a
month beforehand. Arrange the time of collection or delivery.
Make sure you have allocated space in the fridge or kitchen or
other suitable area to store them properly.
4 Check all your ordered goods either when you collect them or
on delivery. If you don’t you may be missing vital items or the
quality may not up to scratch. If so, contact your suppliers and
tell them immediately so that the situation can be rectified.
5 Cross each item off when it is bought.
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Tip
Carry a notebook with your list written down and do spot checks
on prices.
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Tip
Make sure you have sharp knives before starting the marathon cook-in.
This way you will save yourself potential injury. Blunt knives cause acci-
dents, not the other way around. Buy some good ones – they will last
you a lifetime.
Hygiene standards
Spillages and other accidents
G Always clean up any spillages immediately to prevent slipping.
G Broken glass needs to be wrapped in newspaper before it goes
into a bin.
G Avoid putting debris from ashtrays into bins as cigarette butts
could still be going and could light up paper.
G Have a first aid box handy with some plasters and burns oint-
ment. Take it with you to the wedding venue.
G Always ensure that those who are preparing food wash their
hands when entering the kitchen and that after a cigarette or
toilet break they wash them again properly.
G Cover food left to cool to avoid contamination (from flies,
coughs and sneezes, for example).
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Don’t take chances with food that has been unrefrigerated for a
G
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Tip
Change dishcloths frequently! Old, soiled ones have loads of bacteria.
Don’t use one to mop up the floor then clean the countertop space. (As if!)
Salmonella: the second most common bug is found in eggs, raw meat,
poultry, unpasteurised milk, yeast and even in coconut and chocolate. It
passes easily from person to person through poor hygiene such as not
washing hands, or picking noses.
Tip
Leaving raw or cooked chicken out in a hot kitchen without covering it
for several hours is asking for trouble. Even when covered, it shouldn’t
be there but in a fridge.
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Recipes
Below are seven recipes, mentioned earlier, which you may wish to try.
Follow the notes on each one to adapt the quantities.
Crunchy vegetables
For eight. Double or treble the recipe for 16 or 24 – and so on – guests.
Steam each vegetable separately until al dente (just cooked: maybe 5–6
minutes only) and plunge into iced water to stop them from cooking further.
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Refrigerate until ready to cook. Note: you can prepare up to this point
24 hours beforehand then bake.
Brush the pastry with the remainder of the beaten egg.
Add a pattern to the pastry by making long criss-crosses lightly on the
surface with a sharp knife.
Place on a baking tin and bake in a pre-heated oven (gas 5, 190°C) for
around 50 minutes or until the pastry is cooked and golden.
Test the fish to see if it is cooked by inserting the point of a knife.
Serve it either hot or cold with a beurre blanc or hollandaise sauce.
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225g asparagus cut into small pieces, around one inch long
2 shallots, finely diced
20g butter
2 handfuls of fresh baby spinach
5 large eggs, beaten with 2 tbsp milk or single cream
2 tbps freshly grated Parmesan
freshly milled black pepper
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3 eggs, separated
1 tbsp double cream
2 tbsp freshly grated Parmesan cheese
freshly milled black pepper
120g cooked, flaked smoked haddock or other smoked fish
2 tbsp whipped cream
2 cherry tomatoes, chopped
1 tbsp chopped chives
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Doing your own catering
Thai fishcakes
This recipe makes 24. Use fish that hasn’t been frozen as too much mois-
ture can be added to the mixture. You don’t need expensive cod or
haddock – go for cheaper types of white fish. Double for 48, treble for
72 and so on.
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Place the fish in a food processor and process until relatively smooth.
Add all the other ingredients except for the vegetable oil and chilli sauce
and process until combined, around 10–20 seconds. Do not over-
process.
Remove from the processor and form into 24 patties or balls.
Refrigerate.
Heat the oil until hot and cook them in batches. Drain on kitchen paper.
Eat immediately or cook and refrigerate, serving either cold or hot with
the chilli sauce.
1 pack of ten chipolata sausages, each sausage twisted in half and cut
with a knife
5 tbsp Dijon mustard
5 tbsp runny honey
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143
8 Planning the drinks
You have decided on the food menu; now it’s time to think about the
drink. If you haven’t given a large party before you might be unsure
about the amount and type of drinks you will need.
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You may be catering for different age groups and social backgrounds.
Drinks are an important part of the equation; it is crucial to get it right,
and to avoid the British propensity to binge drink (something I am sure
you would like to avoid happening at your wedding).
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Or, if you have limited funds to spend on alcohol, you could have a cash
bar. You might prefer to do this, but when guests arrive at the reception
offer them a first drink and champagne for toasting the bridal pair.
I personally feel that you should stick to your budget and only invite the
number of guests you can afford to enjoy your day. This way you cele-
brate with your nearest and dearest and give all a good time at your
wedding. Some weddings go down the cash bar route to save money but
I would suggest that, from a hospitable point of view you add a drink to
your budget so that your guests are made to feel welcome.
What to offer
When you set out your budget, you included wine and possibly cham-
pagne or sparkling wine. Beer too, I bet, and water and soft drinks. In
America, the hard stuff is considered normal, and cocktails, bourbon,
gin, brandy, rum and other spirits are on offer at weddings. Although
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Planning the drinks
there are more cocktails to be found in the average British bar or pub in
recent years, it hasn’t caught on here to any extent; wine and beer are
the usual drinks to be found at a wedding. I would suggest it is not nec-
essary to have a complete bar, either paid or unpaid.
G Offer wine and beer only so that you don’t end up with a lot of
half-empty bottles of vodka, gin, whisky and brandy. Even if
your favourite aunt can’t live without her gin she’ll make it
through the day with other offerings.
G Ensure that soft drinks are served too. If your guests go to the bar
to buy drinks, they will want to get all types, not just alcohol.
G Make sure you brief your staff on all drinks and don’t charge
for water or juices. This would be too ungenerous for words.
G Have chilled wines and beer on offer. Your guests will feel
doubly unwelcome if you ask them to pay for their drinks and
take no care in how they are served.
G Have good glasses: Paris goblets don’t allow for the wine to
breathe and develop properly. A glass with tapering sides and a
larger bowl make any wine better.
G Offer ice and lemon and make the bar look attractive.
G Have a lot of change so that those in charge of the bar aren’t
going through their own pockets trying to find the right change.
Keep the money in a proper cash box for security reasons and
keep an eye on it.
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Tip
Food is the best way to soak up alcohol as it slows the rate of absorp-
tion in the body. (Just beware of salty food which will require more
drinking to quench the thirst that salt creates.) Water or soft drinks are
also crucial in limiting the amount of alcohol in the blood so, like pre-
cious flowers, hydrate your guests by offering water on trays with
alcoholic drinks before the meal, place bottles of water – and keep
replenishing them – on the tables and continue to offer water through-
out the party.
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Planning the drinks
G Marry your wine with your food: full-bodied whites and reds
are excellent for autumn and winter, citrussy whites, rosés and
light-bodied reds perfect for spring and summer weddings.
G If you are using caterers, they may be able to suggest suitable
wines to go with the food.
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Serving wine
Paris goblets, those little squat glasses, have had their day. Go for plain,
clear-stemmed glass that can either be hired or lent for nothing from
wine merchants or supermarkets. Be sure to order them well in advance
(in summer in particular) as there is a finite number. They must be
returned clean.
Make sure that glasses are clean and there is no washing up liquid on
them, which can ruin the contents. Glasses should be presented bowl up
at table, not bowl-down as this can trap stale air.
Chill white wines but not overly so as this can dull their aroma and
flavour. When putting wines out to warm, don’t put them near radiators,
in a hot kitchen or by bright lights or they will taste like soup.
When pouring wine avoid over-filling the glass; it should be half to two
thirds full. Instruct your staff or helpers on how to pour wine.
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Planning the drinks
G Place the bottle on a flat surface and put a cloth or napkin over
it to prevent an unplanned cork escape.
G Keep the cork facing away from you and others around you.
G Keep one hand firmly on the top with the cork; the other hand
should unwind the wire cage to remove it.
G Hold the cork down with one hand. Hold the bottle at a 45-
degree angle and slowly turn the bottle.
G Never twist the cork.
G The bubbles will slowly start to push the cork up. Keep a firm grip
on the cork and slowly allow it to ease out with a gentle sigh.
G Have glasses ready in which to pour the champagne or
sparkling wine.
Beer
Many younger guests like beer, and the choice is staggering. There are
full-bodied bitters, pale bitters, malty ales, stouts, porters, Belgian and
Bavarian wheat beers, German lagers, strong dark lagers, Trappist ales,
smoked beers, strong India Pale Ales (IPA), floral-hopped beers, fruity
beers and ginger spiced beers, to say nothing of the vast range of local
beers and ales. Real Ale enthusiasts have their own likes and dislikes.
Someone close to you will have their preferences and can guide you as
to which ones to choose.
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Although I haven’t used one, there are companies that rent kegs. They offer
a service of all types of beers and ciders. Some also offer a mobile bar
service which they stock and staff. There are several companies who rent
kegs: look on the internet or contact one of your local breweries who may
be happy to oblige.
Soft drinks
There is a vast choice of soft drinks which can come in cans, bottles or con-
centrated. The latter is a cheaper option, but you will need jugs and someone
to take care of it. Remember to have ice and lemon to add to the jugs.
Shop around at your local supermarkets for price comparison but don’t
be tempted to buy a huge stock as you may be drinking a lot of soft
drinks for some considerable time in the future. Depending on the length
of the wedding, buy two cans per child and extra for those who may not
be drinking.
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Planning the drinks
Have a selection of teas – breakfast, Earl Grey and peppermint are the
most popular – and hire in tea pots too for the occasion.
Go through the drinks list with them, showing them the bottles to be
used and when they are to be opened and poured. If you think it is a
good idea, make a clear list of when to serve which type of wine, cham-
pagne or sparkling wine and the chosen wine for the toast. Ask them to
circulate with bottles to top up glasses, tell them when to hold back,
when and how to clear glasses (never by fingers in the bowl but holding
the stem or base), and where they should put them afterwards.
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Glass sizes
G If you use small glasses you increase the amount of work for
staff, and if self-serve or queuing at the bar, small glasses will
create a larger queue.
G Go for 180ml glasses for wine for a 150ml serving.
G Go for 180ml glasses for water, soft drinks or vodka or whisky.
G Choose either a 240ml or 300ml glass for beer.
G If serving cocktails go for the right type of glass such as a V-
shaped one for martinis. They look smart and give a
sophisticated edge to the party.
Measurements
There are:
Bar set up
The following list gives an outline of what a bar might be stocked with:
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Tip
If there will be children and/or you are going to be outside where glass
may prove hazardous, buy some attractive plastic or disposable glasses
to place on your bar.
Wedding toasts
Toasts are very much a part of special occasions in our lives. Weddings
are a natural place for such celebratory words: toasting the bride, groom
and other members of the bridal party.
Toasts can also take place when all the guests are seated and have been
served their drinks. At less formal affairs, toasts should be offered after
everyone has gone through the receiving line and been served a drink.
Toasts are generally offered to the bride and groom by the best man,
and the groom should respond with a toast of thanks. Other toasts may
then be offered: the father of the bride, the mother of the bride, groom
to bride, bride to groom. More often than not, however, the best man,
the groom and father of the bride are the only three speakers.
Toasting guidelines
There are no hard and fast rules to toast-making and giving. What fol-
lows are guidelines to give you a starting point.
G Be eloquent and witty. Make sure that the toast you are deliv-
ering is appropriate to the intended audience and occasion.
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Be simple. Keep your toast short and to the point, and avoid using
G
big words. The simplest words often sound the most sincere.
G Be yourself. Give it from the heart.
G Be brief. Avoid more than just a few sentences. Don’t use the
toast as a soapbox.
G Be prepared. A good toast is a speech in miniature. It takes far
more work to craft a short message than a long speech. It takes
practice to sound spontaneous.
G End on a positive note. Clearly define the end by saying,
‘Cheers!’, asking your audience to ‘Raise your glass,’ or some
other accepted gesture.
G Never drink a toast, or stand up, when it’s being offered to you.
However, you should always stand up and respond to the toast,
even if this means just thanking the host for the gesture.
G You should always stand when offering a toast unless it is a
small informal group. Standing can help you to get the attention
of the group and quieten them down.
G It is best not to signal for quiet by knocking on a glass with cut-
lery. You could easily end up with nothing to toast with.
G It is not a good idea to push someone to make a toast who
would otherwise prefer not to. You might hear a toast that you
would prefer not to.
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Planning the drinks
Tip
Liaise with those about to give a speech so that you can ensure that all
glasses have been refilled or replaced with champagne.
Alcohol concerns
Weddings have a tendency to create an atmosphere where over-drinking
is tolerated. Of course it is natural to want to have a fabulous time, and
drinking alcohol is a pleasurable way to share good times with friends
and family. But binge-drinking is seen as almost acceptable in some
societies especially, regrettably, in Britain, and I expect you don’t want
it to spoil your wedding.
G Make sure you offer plenty of food and water or soft drinks.
These are some ways to help those hell-bent on taking advan-
tage of free drinks.
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Limit the amount of alcohol you buy. Check the guidelines for
G
Tip
The body can only process one unit of alcohol per hour. A unit is half a
pint of beer or cider; a small glass of wine; a single measure of spirits.
One unit is 10ml of pure alcohol. An alcopop, such as Smirnoff Ice,
Bacardi Breezer, WKD or Reef is around 1.5 units.
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9 Finding and
managing your staff
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You may also be recruiting people to help with the car parking or other
arrangements. The key to a good outcome is communication. You need
to brief everyone on what you expect whether they are from an agency
or have volunteered to help.
G finding staff
G calculating how many you need (both for the food and the bar)
G staff dress code and conduct
G how to instruct them
G taking care of the staff: their meals, breaks, tipping and being paid.
Where should you start looking for waiters, waitresses, bar staff and
kitchen help? Here are some possible avenues to take:
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Finding and managing your staff
G Talk to local catering colleges. Tutors are keen for their students
to take on professional jobs while in training. You might recruit
waiting and kitchen staff this way – and for the minimum wage
or a package deal.
Agency staff
I have had a mixed bag of agency staff, from the downright surly to the
couldn’t-do-enough-for-guests professionalism that one expects from an
agency which specialises in catering staff. As you will be paying a pre-
mium – agencies cream a lot off what they pay their staff – you can
rightly expect top quality. Talk to people who have hired staff via this
method, talk to the agency regarding their staff’s qualifications and expe-
rience and find out about all charges before signing on the dotted line.
Agencies will charge higher rates on weekends and holidays. They will also
charge you for travel and for meals (depending on the length of time you
wish to employ their staff). Make absolutely sure when hiring agency staff
that they speak the language you need, who the team leader is, the num-
bers of breaks they can have and the exact duties they are expected to
carry out. Also determine their uniform. If you are not happy about excess
jewellery or make-up, discuss this with the agency beforehand and make
sure that these points are written up in the contract before you sign it.
G bartender
G bar staff
G waiting staff
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kitchen assistants.
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Finding and managing your staff
Staff costs
Below are some ballpark 2008 figures for staff costs. These are exclusive
of VAT and travel.
In addition, note that a minimum of six hours may be charged for any
chefs. Also, between 11pm and 6am, time and a half may apply. Bank
holidays may be charged at double time.
Tip
Pay your staff on the night, if hiring casual staff, either by cheque or
cash. Check the hours they are claiming. When dealing with agency
staff, the staff member who is in charge will give you a time sheet to
sign. Make sure it is accurate as you may not be able to change any
details after the event. Payment to an agency often takes place in two
parts: a deposit and a final invoice.
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Tip
You may wish to add a tip to those who have served you well. Give
them cash in hand rather than adding it on to the bill if you have
chosen staff via an agency. Catering students or other staff chosen by
you will also be delighted by a tip. Ensure that you have sufficient cash
for all concerned when giving it out – plan ahead a little.
Tip
If employing kitchen and waiting staff make sure they all know what
each other is doing and respect each other’s jobs. Establish a harmo-
nious atmosphere and tackle any unpleasant attitudes if and when they
become apparent.
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giving their services free as a kind of wedding gift to you? Make sure
you establish this beforehand or bad feelings might be the result. You
may wish to offer the younger members some form of payment such as
a specific sum rather than a per hour rate. But make sure that you estab-
lish the following first:
Family and friends are often more than willing to lend a hand in whatever
way they can to make sure that the day passes off smoothly. However,
they do need guidance and roles. Establish these beforehand or you may
find that too many people are doing the same jobs while others are
ignored. As a final tip, I have found in the past that friends and family do
volunteer but are often caught up in conversation, forgetting to help. This
is particularly the case later on in the event, when the washing up and
tidying away gets left for a few to do. (If friends and family do help, they
must be made aware of food storage, hygiene and smoking.)
Catering colleges
Many students studying catering take on work above and beyond college
work to gain experience. But, as with any other group of people, some
have natural abilities, while others have strengths elsewhere. Talk to the
head of department regarding your needs and he or she will guide you
to the right students. You will need to have a good idea of the hours
required, their duties, their payment, travel costs if applicable, where
they can park and what you expect them to wear.
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Staff hygiene
All staff, whether they are from colleges or staff agencies or people who
you have taken on from other sources should have short, clean, unvar-
nished nails. They must also wash their hands after a cigarette break, or
going to the toilet or after handling boxes or other equipment.
They should also have clean chefs’ jackets, aprons, head gear and any
other items of uniform, and not wear excess jewellery.
Tip
Be firm regarding smoking breaks. Talk to whoever you employ before-
hand, laying down these and other requirements of service. Staff can
smoke in their own time when not working, otherwise it is unfair on
non-smokers who will have to work more as a result. It is also unpleas-
ant for your guests to smell smoke on a member of staff’s hands,
clothes or breath. It can ruin food and wine. Unfortunately there are too
many smokers in the catering trade.
Staff numbers
Some staffing logistics are quite daunting. The Queen’s garden parties
are huge affairs: a typical garden party serves around 27,000 cups of
tea, 20,000 sandwiches and 20,000 slices of cake. Some 400 waiting staff
are involved in the serving.
Your needs are more modest – thankfully, I hear you say! Here are
some guidelines to help you on your way. They are just a guide which
you may need to adapt if you are arranging a different type of wedding
party with the emphasis on drink rather than food. Or you may want a
less formal approach, with guests helping themselves and participating
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in the serving, pouring and washing up. Alter the guide to suit you. Do
bear in mind that you may also not have the professionalism if you
employ amateurs.
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you don’t wait you’re implying that the guests should get a
move on! If you clear at different times this makes slower eaters
at the table feel awkward.
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Tip
You may find it useful to have a printed sheet of duties, plus the menu
and timings, pinned up in the kitchen area so that staff can refresh their
memories if they didn’t take everything in at the briefing.
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10 After the party
The wedding has been a success. You’ve all enjoyed the fruits of your
labours and those of others who have played their part in making your
day a memorable one – for all the right reasons!
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After the party
But there are always loose ends to tidy up. When will the marquee be
dismantled? How will I get the equipment back to the hire company or
will they pick it up? Which bills are still outstanding? What are the terms
of agreement?
You may also have to knuckle down to writing all those thank you notes
or letters after the honeymoon if you have decided to have one. Have
you kept some cake to send to those unable to attend due to other com-
mitments or poor health?
This chapter covers these points and others including arranging a post-
wedding party or a drinks party for those not invited to the wedding.
You may also be interested in the reasons for certain wedding customs in
Britain and in other countries. These and myths are outlined here too,
with possible ideas to incorporate into your wedding plans.
The marquee
When organising the marquee, arrange the dismantling of the marquee, the
date and time. Make sure that the company complies with your requests for
the garden or area to be left as they found it with no upturned turf, pegs left
in the ground, damaged trees, bushes or flowerbeds. If a problem is found,
contact the company immediately so that they can come to sort it out.
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The equipment
If you have hired equipment such as tables, chairs, plates, cutlery,
glasses and other items, ensure that those who have been left to deal
with it in your absence know who to contact if the equipment hasn’t
been collected on the arranged date. Ensure too that the equipment list
has been ticked off with all items accounted for. A separate list of miss-
ing items should be made and the company informed of losses.
Otherwise you won’t have much of a case if the company charges you
for items you think have been collected or returned. As with the mar-
quee hire company, make sure that those dealing with the equipment
return in your absence know the contact details.
G caterers
G drinks suppliers (you may have wine or other drinks on a sale or
return basis if whole cases, for example, haven’t been opened)
G venue
G cake maker
G toastmaster
G musicians or other entertainment
G florists
G photographer
G marquee company
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After the party
Alternatively, before you sign a contract with a company, you may wish
to contact your local authority to ascertain the company’s credibility,
(see below). If you do have a problem after the event, contact Consumer
Direct (see below). Below is advice given by the website oft.gov.uk
Businesses that sign up to the schemes get support and promotion from
their local authority trading standards services, in return for a promise
that they will meet their legal obligations and treat their customers fairly.
Most schemes have been developed separately, and vary in the details
of how they work. But all the Local Authority Assured Trader Scheme
Network (LAATSN) member schemes have the common aims of:
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trust
G offering a source of help and advice if things go wrong
G enabling local businesses to demonstrate that they have signed
up to national standards.
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After the party
If you feel you have been treated unfairly contact your local authority or
the ombudsman who will be able to assess the situation and arbritrate
on your behalf if you are seen as having a case.
Consumer Direct
Consumer Direct is a government funded organisation which offers clear,
practical consumer advice. Its services include:
Consumer Direct will deal with each caller’s problems or questions indi-
vidually. They will provide an honest, impartial assessment of the
situation and where possible, will recommend a clear course of action to
follow. They can only provide information and advice. They cannot inter-
vene directly in consumer matters, such as taking action against a trader.
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What Consumer Direct don’t do (amongst other things which are not
pertinent to this book):
Tip
It may not be worth making a fuss if a small amount of money is the
cause of your grievance. Pay up and put it behind you. But do contact
your local trading standards office if you have a major grievance.
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After the party
Tip
Writing thank you notes is a joint effort on the part of the bride and
groom, not just for the bride. Start as you mean to go on!
Cake boxes
A very nice gesture is to send a piece of cake in a small, celebratory box
to those unable to attend the wedding – or those who weren’t invited
but are on your guest list for a post-wedding drinks party. These boxes
can be obtained at cake shops, card shops and businesses via the inter-
net or printers. They often have space for the name, address and stamp
with a small card placed inside the box to denote who sent it or they
can be put in an envelope with a covering note.
Make sure that the type of cake will withstand the journey and the ele-
ments; a fruit cake is the ideal type to send. Delegate a family member
or friend to cut up the cake and post the boxes for you if you are on
your honeymoon. Make sure you leave a legible list of names, addresses
and appropriate stamps for this to be carried out without a hitch.
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You may decide to have a post-wedding party for several other reasons
too. Perhaps you had a small, family gathering and would like to invite a
larger crowd to celebrate with you. You may have had an intimate dinner
after your wedding abroad, with a larger party to follow. You might have
eloped with no one attending your wedding. There are many other pos-
sible reasons for not having a wedding to which friends and family were
invited. Very occasionally a bereavement in the family makes it impossi-
ble to celebrate.
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After the party
Appendix
Wedding traditions and symbols
Weddings throughout history have left their mark on how we and other
cultures organise our weddings. Here are some British and other
European traditions still very much in place in today’s society, the tradi-
tionalist in us all coming out when planning a wedding:
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encourage fertility.
G Wedding gifts: gifts have replaced the custom of guests bring-
ing fruit to encourage fertility.
G Dropping the wedding ring shakes out the evil spirits.
G The couple should exchange wedding vows as the clock’s hand
is ascending towards heaven.
G The arch of swords through which the couple walk after the cer-
emony denotes their safe passage into their new life together.
G The wedding cake is cut by the bride and groom to represent
sharing their life together.
G Shoes were a powerful symbol in ancient times, the tying of
shoes to cars carrying on this tradition.
G Carrying the bride over the threshold protects her from evil
spirits.
Gold rings were used as currency, the man paying for his bride in gold,
the currency going to the family. Gimmal rings or three interlocking
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After the party
rings, were separated in Elizabethan times, one worn by the bride, the
groom and their witness during the engagement. On the wedding day all
three rings were united as a single ring for the bride.
Seating in the church is also symbolic, the bride’s family on one side,
the groom on the other. This goes back to times when a girl of one tribe
was offered by her father as a peace offering to another tribe, keeping
them apart a safety precaution.
French traditions
The traditional bridal trousseau originated in France, the word ‘trousse’
coming from ‘bundle’.
Still practiced in small villages today, the groom calls on his future wife
at her home on the day of the wedding to escort her to church. At the
church, the village children stretch white ribbons across the road which
the bride cuts. When the couple leave the church or the mairie or town
hall, laurel leaves are scattered in their path.
After the wedding reception or later in the evening, friends of the couple
might show up outside their window banging pots and pans, singing bois-
terous songs. The groom is expected to invite them in for drinks and snacks.
Spanish traditions
Orange blossoms have long been the flower of choice for a bride as the
orange tree bears fruit and blossoms at the same time its flowers repre-
sent happiness and fulfilment.
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Before a couple gets married, they exchange their vows in church, the
groom giving his bride a wedding present of thirteen coins. This gift is a
symbol of his commitment to support her. The bride-to-be then carries
these coins, in a little bag, to her wedding ceremony.
According to Spanish custom, a Spanish bride wore, and still might wear,
a black silk wedding dress with an intricately designed black lace veil. Her
groom usually wears an embroidered shirt, hand made by his future wife.
Italian traditions
Italian weddings, in times past, were arranged by the families of the
bride and groom, in some cases a matchmaker sending a message to the
prospective bride’s family of the man’s intent to marry the bride.
If the groom proposed directly to the bride, he would serenade her first,
either playing an instrument or turning up with musician friends.
Wearing green by the bridge the night before the wedding brings luck
and abundance to the couple.
On the day of the wedding the bride is not to wear gold until she is
given her gold wedding ring.
In southern regions of Italy the couple breaks a vase or glass into many
pieces at the end of the wedding day, the number of pieces representing
the number of years of happy married life.
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Italian weddings always emphasise food. Strongly linked with family life,
food is the focal point of the festivities.
Russian traditions
Russian wedding protocol is quite different from other marriage cere-
monies in the world with no bridesmaids, best man or flower girl
amongst other examples.
The wedding ring is worn on the right hand, a ring worn on the left hand
signalling a widowed or divorced person.
A Russian wedding usually lasts for two days but can stretch up to a
week. No Russian wedding party is complete without a series of toasts
or gor’kos. The second day of the wedding is held at the home of the
couple with many games including guests messing the floor for the bride
to clean up, the ‘mess’ money, coins or banknotes.
Nowadays many couples opt for a church marriage but they still do not
have official status and the couple must be married at the registration
office before the marriage in church. The Russian church ceremony is
colourful and solemn – and very long. Guests and the couple stand
during the ceremony as there is no seating in Russian churches.
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Chinese traditions
Many traditional rituals and customs have been lost in the course of his-
tory but some are still observed. They are practised in honour of family
values and respect to committed relationships, a marriage considered
the joining of two families.
Both families are involved in the wedding planning from the start, both
picking an auspicious date as the Betrothal Day. The groom’s family pres-
ents various proposal gifts that represent fertility and prosperity, all gifts
coming in even numbers meaning ‘good things double’ in Chinese culture.
Wedding cakes are sent out with the invitations to the wedding, with
dragon and phoenix emblems on the cakes.
The two families decorate the bridal house and the reception venue with
lots of lively colours, red in particular. Banners are written with rhythmic
poems praising the couple and the perfect marriage.
On the morning of the wedding day, the hair dressing ritual is performed for
the bride, her hair is done up in a bun with auspicious words being spoken.
There are many games including the Door Games – the groom arrives at the
bride’s house and the bridemaids will ask him questions about the bride to
try to delay her being married. The bride is covered by a red umbrella when
she finally leaves the house to protect her from evil spirits.
The Chinese wedding tea ceremony: the couple kneel three times – to
heaven and earth, to the ancestral tablets and their parents, then to each
other. Bowing has replaced this in many areas. The bride then presents
tea to the parents and relatives in order of seniority, the recipients usu-
ally giving gifts wrapped in red envelopes.
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After the party
The wedding food is highly symbolic, a roast suckling pig denoting the
bride’s virginity, pigeon denoting a peaceful future. Chicken cooked in
red oil symbolises the wish for a prosperous life, lobster, equally play-
ing a part. Both these dishes indicate that the dragon (lobster) and
phoenix (chicken) are in harmony, the yin and yang elements balanced
for this family.
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Index
after the party loose ends, 173 colleges, students from, 167
alcohol contract, signing the, 96
amounts per hour, 160 equipment and furniture, hiring,
concerns, 159 67–70
over indulgance, 159 for your wedding, 11–12,
units, 160 party ‘stations,’ pros and cons, 101
portions, 94
bar set up, 155–6 taking on it yourself, 97
beer, 153 celebratory party, post-wedding, 180
beer keg, 154 Champagne and sparkling wine,
bride’s time list, 16 149–50
British wedding traditions, 182 serving, 152–3
budget list, making your, 28 Champagne tea party, pros and cons,
budget, controlling the, 25 100–1
budget, preparing your initial, 29 cheese cake, 106
buffet service, tips for, 127
children,
buffets, the case for and against, 98
inviting them to your wedding, 49
second weddings and, 50
cake boxes, 179
coffee and tea, 154
canapés, serving, 126
confetti, 182
car hire itinerary, 19
consumer advice, 177–8
cash bar options, 147
contact list, 19
cash bar vs traditional wedding, 146
caterer, cooking timeline, 131
choosing, 93 costs,
fresh food, 94 cutting general, 26
health inspected kitchen, 95 keeping them down, 23
insurance, 94 croquembouche, 106
questions for the, 95 cutting costs, tip 8
taste testing, 94
warning tip, 95 disc jockey,
catering equipment tips, 88
assets for, 110 hiring a, 87–8
189
Planning a Wedding Reception at Home
190
Index
191
Planning a Wedding Reception at Home
192