MINI

CREATIVE NON-FICTION

CRITIQUE
by Galo and Casiño
Essential
Learning
Competencies
1. Write a mini critique of a peer’s work
based on coherence and organization of
paragraphs, development of literary
elements use of factual information, and
other qualities concerning form and
content.
2. Analyze and interpret a well-written
creative nonfictional text.
Non-fiction
critique guide
OVERALL IMPRESSION

Content
Audience
Format

MECHANICS

Structure
Grammar
Extras
 Sample Critique

NONFICTION: MEMOIR

excerpt of an editorial letter

TITLE: My Hollywood

GENRE: memoir

OVERVIEW

It was a pleasure to work on your book, My Hollywood. As a reader I learned a great deal about the

impact of consumer culture on women and the empty feminine ideals it promotes. And I learned

much about you, a writer, thinker, and woman who has been brave enough to pull all the stops and

reflect on your upbringing and analyze the forces that have influenced your life. The voice you write

with is smart, wisecracking, and honest; a voice that young women today can relate with. I think your

book will speak to many women who struggle with the same issues you once faced [...] in the

process of becoming a Hollywood desirable.What follows is an overview of the strengths and

weaknesses of your manuscript and includes editorial recommendations on what and how to revise

it. Be prepared to do several more rounds of revisions, with each revision bringing your book closer

to perfection and the fulfillment of your vision.

The structure you have now is not consistently linear, and the links from one topic to the

next are not often clear. [...] Your timeline is a bit shuffled, with a chapter of your life

post-college coming before a chapter on your college years. It’s better in this instance to

tell your story chronologically so as to give your book some structure and order.Breaking

up your book into three acts works fine. Starting Act I after the introductory chapter is

good. And having Act II at the start of your college years is also a good choice. But I

suggest moving chapter 6 to Act II since it deals with your college years, not high school.

As for Act III, consider starting it at chapter 18—which is after your stint as a script reader.

The last sentence of chapter 17 rings a satisfying death knell for the end of Act II and

segues nicely to chapter 18.I also recommend creating a new chapter—between chapters

3 and 4—that focuses on [...]. I also suggest breaking up chapter 4 into two separate

chapters (see page 28 of your manuscript)....

Mixing memoir with analysis is tricky. It’s easy to write emotionally about oneself and to allow that emotion to

carry over into the analysis. The challenge is to stay objective while at the same time write about things you feel

strongly about. When there's too much subjectivity in the writing, the author loses credibility. Readers will start to

distrust what the author is saying and feel like they're being manipulated to feel, think, believe what the writer

so strongly feels, thinks, and believes. I can see this happening in your book. So, what’s the solution? One trick is

to write about yourself in third person, then later rewrite it in first person. By initially writing in third person, it

allows you to see yourself as a character—to observe without judgment and instead with curiosity and insight.

This would require hard work on your part, but it is a method that some memoirists use when writing

autobiography.If that strategy doesn’t appeal to you, just remember as you revise to write about yourself with

objectivity and compassion. I know that sounds contradictory, but what I mean is, when you write about your

mistakes and failings, try to do it without judgment. Let the facts speak for themselves. Or paint a scene in the

reader’s mind so they can visualize your life and feel whatever naturally comes to them in response to your

experience. In other words, avoid telling the reader what they should think/feel/judge about you and let them

see/judge for themselves.When it comes to your research and analysis, make sure to recheck all your quotes and

paraphrases. Also, fact-check everything. I noticed that you tend to speculate and make educated guesses.

These are okay some of the time, but make sure you have evidence to support them. I flag a few of these in the

manuscript. Also, I noticed that certain topics are revisited more than once. Sometimes this is okay if kept short

and to a minimum. However, I noticed occasions when ideas/topics that were covered earlier in the book are

discussed again and at length. I’ve flagged these areas, suggesting to either delete them or move them to an

appropriate section or chapter.

Some of what I wrote in the preceding paragraph applies here as well. Your writing voice is smart, sassy, and

witty, and conveys your distinct personality. However, there are times when your voice comes across as too

emotional and judgmental. Also, there is liberal use of hyperboles and exaggerated language, which tends to

undermine the credibility of your argument. Here are three easy tricks to tone down your writing:

1. Find all adverbs ending in –ly and delete most of them. Recast the sentence without them and see if the

sentence reads calmer and clearer. Adverbs tend to exaggerate, so use them only when necessary. Examples:

entirely, completely.

2. Remove extreme language in most cases. Some examples are “all,” “always,” “never,” “forever.”

3. When you come across a sentence that expresses an opinion, feeling, or judgment, ask yourself, “Is this true?”

Do this for facts, as well.

WRITING

You have some very fine writing in this book. And you present a persuasive argument. You also did a great job

of expressing your personality through your choice of words and examples. As this is a developmental edit, not a

copyedit, I did not edit the language except on occasion when I thought it would be helpful by showing you how

to revise a sentence or paragraph. I understand that early drafts are necessarily verbose and a bit messy—you’re

trying to get your ideas down as quickly as possible. Now, as you revise your book, see where you can tighten up

a sentence or paragraph to make what you’re saying clearer and more succinct. Ask yourself, “Is this

necessary?” “How can I say this in fewer words?” Then delete, delete, delete....
 OTHER OBSERVATIONS & RECOMMENDATIONS

The footnotes at the bottom seem to distract from the text. I recommend deleting all footnotes and moving

them to a new section called “Notes.” Look at how Orenstein does it in her book Cinderella Ate My Daughter

(I’ve attached screen shots from the back of her book to my email). Your notes do not have to be as extensive as

hers, but you can indicate the citation and source this way. Then after the “Notes” section, have a “Bibliography”

page....

NEXT STEPS

The next step is to revise. When you’ve completed a revision, I recommend having a few beta readers (people

who most match your ideal reader) to read your draft and give you feedback. Then revise your book again, and

if necessary, revise it one more time, then share it with an editor (myself or another editing professional) for an

assessment. If your manuscript is done, meaning there is no need to revise it further, then it’s ready for a

copyedit. A copyedit is a line-by-line edit to polish your writing so that it reads smoothly and professionally.
 Thank You!

Reference:
https://thewritingplace.wordpress.com/2009/09/28/guidelines-for-nonfiction-critiques/
http://www.hunter.cuny.edu/rwc/handouts/the-writing-process-1/invention/Writing-a-Critique