PRAVRAJIKA AJAYAPRANA

May 26, 2020

Sri Sarada Math
Dakshineswar, Kolkata 700076
 Pravrajika Ajayaprana

Pravrajika Ajayaprana (pre-monastic name Ammukutty) was

born on 8th November, 1926 at Chittor in Ernakulam district,
Kerala. Her father was Kuroor Parameshwaran
Namboothiripad and her mother Kanavally Kalyani
Kuttyamma. Ammukutty was the fifth child after four boys
and she had 2 younger brothers and a sister. Her Mother
passed away when she was just 8 years old. Since then she
lived under the protective care of her maternal aunt in
Ernakulam. Ammukutty had her schooling at the
Government Girls’ High School in Ernakulam. After
completing school education, due to delicate health, her
guardians did not allow her to go to college. But Ammukutty
passed all the Hindi exams conducted by Dakshin Bharthi
Hindi Prachar Sabha through private studies.

Ammukutty’s father’s younger brother Kuroor Neelakanthan

Namboothiripad was deeply involved in the freedom
movement and was also one of the founders of the famous
Matrubhumi Daily of Kerala. He used to take her to sing
Vandemataram and deliver speeches in public meetings.
Thus, Ammukutty gave her first speech at the age of 14!
She was very much inspired by Mahatma Gandhi and had
an inclination to join the Sabarmati Ashram. However her
family discouraged her on account of her weak health.

During this time Ammukutty got the opportunity to visit Sri

Ramana Maharshi at Thiruvannamalai. Later she would
recall that it was a wonderful experience.

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Being a voracious reader Ammukutty used to ask her cousin
to get books from the Public Library in Ernakulam. Often she
used to make critical comments about the structure or style
of the language in those books. One day the cousin gave
her a book, saying she won’t be able to find any fault with
that book. It was the 4th volume of The Complete Works of
Swami Vivekananda. Having read that book she told the
cousin that she didn’t want any other book henceforth, and
also wanted to get the other volumes. Thus, was she caught
in the magic spell of Swamiji.

Just after World War II, due to the fear of facing some social
problems, Ammukutty’s father brought his children to his
place Kuroor Mana at Adat in Thrissur district. Here as the
younger brothers and sister continued their schooling at the
Sri Ramakrishna Ashram School at Puranattukara,
Ammukutty used to accompany them and spend the whole
day reading books in the Ashram premises. There she came
into contact with Swami Ishwarananda Maharaj, the
President of Sri Ramakrishna Ashrama, Thrissur. As per the
request of Swami Vyomakeshananda Maharaj, the school
manager, she started to teach Hindi in the school as a
voluntary teacher. During this time she got the opportunity
to study Srimad Bhagavad Gita from Swami Ishwarananda
Maharaj, who was a scholarly monk. She soon realized that
if she got a degree she could be more helpful to the
Ashrama. With her father's permission she again went to
Ernakulam to complete the course of B.Sc in Physics.

By this time a group of girls including Dakshayani Amma

(later Pravrajika Medhaprana), Ambujam (Pravrajika
Dhiraprana) and Dakshayani (Pravrajika Vimalaprana) were

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staying in a house nearby under the care of Ramakrishna
Ashrama. Vijayalakshmi (Pravrajika Vijayaprana) joined
them later. Some of them were school students. Many of
them had the desire of leading a life of renunciation for which
they got inspiration from the monks. The girls followed the
same routine of the Ramakrishna Ashrama. They were
trained mainly by Swami Ishwarananda Maharaj.

As the number of girls increased the need of a more

convenient place for them to stay became inevitable. At that
time a land of about 19 acres was donated by two villagers.
A building was constructed and was named Sarada
Mandiram (later Sri Sarada Math). On 1st January, 1948 the
pictures of the Holy Trio with Holy Mother in the Centre were
installed in the beautiful Shrine. The girls were shifted to this
house.

In 1952 Ammukutty completed her degree course. On the

very day when her results came, she left her home to stay in
Sarada Mandiram with the intention of leading a life of
renunciation. Mataji used to say that her father was so angry
at this that when he drove past Sarada Mandiram he used
to turn his face in the opposite direction. It took 21 years for
him to reconcile.

During this time in Calcutta also some educated young girls

were staying together with the intention of leading a life of
renunciation. Swami Ranganathananda Maharaj introduced
them to the girls of Thrissur and made them communicate
with each other. Later Mataji used to remember, “In my
letters I used to address Muktiprana Mataji and Atmaprana
Mataji as My dear Asha and My dear Kalpalata”, and she

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would add, “then I didn’t know that they were such towering
personalities”. In 1953 Ammukutty and Ambujam along with
many other devotees went to Jayarambati to attend the Birth
Centenary Celebrations of Holy Mother. It was then they
came into direct contact with Asha Devi and others.

Life in those early days in Sarada Mandiram was very hard.

She used to teach physics in the school and at the same
time completed her B.T. course. As a teacher she was a
very strict disciplinarian and yet her students admired her
very much for her love. Even after many years her students
used to come to meet her. After school hours Swami
Ishwarananda Maharaj used to take scriptural classes for
them in Ramakrishna Ashrama. Maharaj was a great
inspiration for her. Later Mataji would remember, “Maharaj
used to tell, “We should cultivate two habits in our life –
reading the books of great people and practice doing Japa
mentally. At the old age when the friends (sense organs)
who came with us leave one by one then our only company
will be the thoughts of those great people and Japa of Ishta
mantra”.

In 1953, when Revered Swami Shankarananda Maharaj

visited Madras Math, Ammukutty had the good fortune of
receiving initiation from him. In December of the same year
in connection with Holy Mother’s Birth Centenary, the Belur
Math Authorities conferred Brahmacharya to the first batch
of women aspirants. Dakshayani Amma (later Pravrajika
Medhaprana) from Thrissur was one among them, and one
year later, in December 1954, Sri Sarada Math was formally
opened in Dakshineswar, Kolkata. Ammukutty received
Brahmacharya in the old shrine of Belur Math on 17th

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December, 1957 on Holy Mother’s Birthday from the then
President Swami Shankarananda Maharaj. On 29th
December, 1961 she was invested with Sannyasa by
Pravrajika Bharatiprana Mataji, the first President of Sri
Sarada Math and became Pravrajika Ajayaprana.

In 1962 the Ramakrishna Ashrama School was divided and

the girls’ section, Sri Sarada Girls’ High School, was
transferred to Sarada Mandiram. The monastic members of
Sarada Mandiram and some other lady-staff, who had been
working in the Ramakrishna Ashrama School were posted
there. Students from various parts of Kerala were staying in
the Sarada Mandiram. In 1968 Sarada Mandiram was
officially taken over by Sri Sarada Math. Till then it was
under the administration of the Ramakrishna Ashrama,
Puranattukara. Pravrajika Medhaprana Mataji took the
responsibilities of school activities and Pravrajika
Dhiraprana Mataji and Pravrajika Ajayaprana Mataji took
over the sole responsibilities of the Math. Pravrajika
Vimalaprana Mataji and Vijayaprana Mataji helped them. By
this time educated girls from different states of South India
began to join the Math and the number of monastic members
increased.

At that time the financial condition of the Math was not good.
After the school hours Dhiraprana Mataji with Ajayaprana
used to go to Thrissur town from house to house to collect
donations, and would return around at 7 p.m. and continue
with the Math routine and preparation for the next day’s
school lessons. They also travelled to places like Bombay,
Bangalore, Chennai, Trichy and Coimbatore for giving
lectures. Besides, they used to go to the nearby Harijan

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colony on Sundays, get the poor children together, give them
bath, feed them, collect them in the shed which served as a
prayer hall and teach them bhajans and simple prayers.

In May 1973 on Buddha Purnima Day, the Ramakrishna

Sarada Mission centre was duly inaugurated in its own
premises at Thycaud, Trivandrum. Pravrajika Ajayaprana
was appointed its Secretary. In the same year Mataji had an
intestinal obstruction and had to undergo a major surgery.
She always co-operated with the doctors and followed their
instructions. This was her nature till the end.

She used to give public lectures and also take spiritual

classes in the Mission premises. She was an eloquent
speaker. Her lectures were always well attended. Also the
language and presentation of her writings (in Malayalam and
English) were dramatic and attractive and were greatly
appreciated by the readers. She translated the books
‘Reminiscences of Latu Maharaj’, and ‘Shivanandavani’ from
Bengali to Malayalam. She also wrote a book named
Dashapushpam in Malayalam, the lives of ten great women
saints as well as contributed articles to monthly magazines
of the Ramakrishna Order.

“A Vedanta Society in any country is a happy proposition. It

is a very rational system. There is no sensation or mystery-
mongering in Vedanta. Only calm, silent spirits can
understand and profit from it and I am very glad to see that
in Australia there are people who think in this way.”

These were words of clarification and encouragement from

the address given by Swami Ranganathananda Maharaj on

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June 9, 1974, at the inaugural meeting of the Ramakrishna
Vedanta Society of New South Wales. Maharaj was visiting
Australia on his annual world lecture tour. A Vedanta Book
Agency was already started to assist the spread of Vedanta
and Ramakrishna-Vivekananda literature. The Book Agency
succeeded in this and was also instrumental in providing a
point of contact between many people with a common
interest, interested enough now to be present at this
inaugural meeting of the Society. Maharaj concluded with
this observation:

“The work of Vedanta is to unite humanity by exchanging

tested human values of Eastern and Western cultures. This
kind of an intellectual, spiritual and comprehensive approach
to contemporary human problems is what you get in the
name of Vedanta, in the name of Ramakrishna. Australia will
be very fortunate if it can advance along these lines and
benefit from this profound thought of India which is the most
precious gift that India has to offer to her own children and
to the rest of the world.”

The Interim Management Committee appointed at the

meeting was given the responsibility of drawing up a
constitution and having the Society registered as a charity.
A primary objective of the Society was to get a permanent
Centre established in Sydney under the direction of a
monastic member of the Ramakrishna Order. So the
members approached the Belur Math authorities but got the
answer that they could not spare a monk at that time. Swami
Ranganathananda Maharaj suggested to approach Sri
Sarada Math to see if they would agree to send a nun from
Sri Sarada Math to start a centre in Australia!

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A formal request was subsequently made to the Trustees of
Sri Sarada Math for a sannyasini (nun) to be sent to Sydney
to establish a centre with the sponsorship and support of the
Society. At first the response from the Trustees was that it
was not possible to meet the request, but the pleas
continued. Eventually, Pravrajika Ajayaprana, then head of
the Ramakrishna Sarada Mission's Trivandrum Centre in
Kerala, was sent on a visit to Australia. Pravrajika
Ajayaprana arrived at Sydney airport on May 22, 1977 to a
warm welcome from a number of the Society’s members.
She stayed in the home of a close devotee and gave weekly
classes on the Bhagavad Gita and Swami Vivekananda’s
Bhakti Yoga in the Vedanta Bookshop. This visit lasted just
over six months as she had to share her time between
Sydney and the Centre in Trivandrum. Her second visit
anxiously awaited by the Society's members - was made for
a three-month period from May 7 to August 7, 1978.

She often described her first experience as follows: “As the

plane left the soil of India I heard myself saying, ‘Ajayaprana,
you are leaving the land of tyaga and going to the land of
bhoga’ and I found myself repeating my mantra with great
speed. When I landed in Sydney the customs didn’t check
the bags; it was more relaxed in those days and we came
out to find a few devotees had come to receive us. They all
did pranams at the airport and the feeling came to me that I
am not among strangers, but among those in whose heart
Sri Ramakrishna has already taken his seat.”

During these two visits a strong and loving relationship

developed between the members and friends of the Society

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and Pravrajika Ajayaprana. She was fully accepted as a
spiritual guide and teacher by a large number of people who
came into contact with her. These people quickly came to
appreciate not only her proficient guidance on their spiritual
development, but also her practical, down-to-earth advice on
dealing with difficulties in their personal lives and
relationships with others. Her advice was insightful,
inspirational and practical.

The General Secretary of Sri Sarada Math, in a letter dated

January 25, 1981, informed the members of the Society that
the Trustees had decided that Pravrajika Ajayaprana could
come at the beginning of 1982 to establish a Centre in
Sydney.

Revered Pravrajika Ajayaprana Mataji left Bombay for

Sydney on 15th April 1982 along with Brahmacharini Girija
(Pravrajika Gayatriprana), to establish Sri Sarada Math’s 1st
centre outside India. They were to spend their first two
weeks in a devotee’s apartment in Sydney. She was guest
of honour at an Official Reception on April 25, 1982. The
Society’s name was then changed to Ramakrishna Sarada
Vedanta Society of NSW with Ajayaprana Mataji as the
President with a new Constitution.

Having already spent nine months in Australia in 1977 and

1978 on previous visits, Mataji had sized up the Society.
With wry humour she would declare, “I have the four
negatives: brown skin, grey hair, ochre robes and I’m a
woman.” Racism, ageism, bigotry, and misogyny were all
bigger issues in Australia back then. But the point was made.
It would require an extra effort for Mataji to break through

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these negatives and gain acceptance and ultimately respect
in Australia.

In connection to these ‘negatives’ Mataji decided she should

be officially known as ‘Reverend’ Pravrajika Ajayaprana
indicating thereby that she was the equivalent of a religious
Minister. This would help to clarify her status. While
recording the change of her status it was found that the
computer software would only allow a man to be a
‘Reverend,’ not a woman!

After spending a few months in devotees’ homes, the two

nuns moved into a spacious home on a one-year lease at 25
Anderson Road, Mortdale. An informal opening of the nuns'
residence - known as "Sarada Tapovan," was performed by
Swami Ranganathananda Maharaj during his annual visit in
June 1982. Pravrajika Ajayaprana conducted the official
inauguration on Guru Purnima day, July 6, 1982. She also
gave initiation for the first time on that day.

Mataji began giving weekly Bhagavad Gita Classes and

talks on Vedanta. The Vedanta Bookshop in the Rocks was
closed, and the books were brought to the Sarada Tapovan
where they were displayed and stored in the double garage.
At the end of a year the Sarada Tapovan and the Book
Agency showroom were moved to another spacious house
with beautiful gardens at 2 Wallis Avenue, Strathfield; a
central suburb of Sydney, on a one-year lease. Then, in
1984, at great disruption to the Society’s activities, it was
necessary to move again. The Nuns moved into a small
house in Croydon and a property in the Burwood commercial
centre was leased to serve as the venue for the Society’s

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lectures, classes and showroom. Finally, in July 1985, the
Society purchased a house at 5 Quandong Avenue,
Burwood, which served as the nunnery for the next 10 years.

As is often the case, handing over the control of affairs was

difficult for some of the office bearers of the Society. In those
days with no direct international phone calls available and
letters taking almost a month to reach India, it was not easy
to get advice from the senior Matajis in India. Ajayaprana
Mataji had to depend absolutely on God alone with no
human help to meet those difficult situations.

From January 1983 Mataji was invited to countless lecture

tours to most of the major cities in Australia. This often
involved encountering new audiences through parlour talks.
She had the habit, before beginning her talk, of glancing
around the room and sizing up the audience, assessing to
what level she could go. How much could they digest or even
comprehend? Sometimes, with a new audience, one could
feel the resistance in the room. To be fair, Australia had been
a “happy hunting ground” for many fake gurus in the years
before Mataji’s arrival and there was no shortage of cynicism
towards spiritual teachers from the East. But once the talk
began, such condescending attitudes evaporated. Those
talks were a wonderful mix! Strong esoteric doses of
Vedanta philosophy were related to the everyday world and
embellished with quotes from the English poets, the
Christian mystics, the Sufi saints, Shakespeare, Tolstoy and
more. People were fascinated to hear that Einstein,
Eddington, Schrodinger, Fritjof Capra and others, were
discovering a Vedantic world in sub-atomic physics.
Humorous stories and quotes were added to the mix. A

11
favourite was Mark Twain’s observation that: “A cauliflower
is just a cabbage with a college education.” Mataji had
created whole booklets comprised of post-it notes full of
quotes from so many books, ready to be extracted and used
in her talks.

From 1983, Pravrajika Ajayaprana Mataji visited Newcastle,

a two hour drive north of Sydney. A close group of devotees
hosted, by turns, a Saturday class four times a year. On
many occasions she also gave a talk the following day at the
Hindu Temple there.

The lecture tours extended beyond Australia. The first

international trip was an historic one. Along with Pravrajika
Dhiraprana Mataji she visited California and Oregon in 1985,
the first visit to the U.S by Sri Sarada Math nuns. Mataji was
keen to see how the Vedanta Centres were being run there
and to meet the American nuns. A highlight of the trip was
the visit to Portland, where Swami Asheshananda Maharaj,
a disciple of Holy Mother, had welcomed them. Maharaj was
overjoyed at meeting Sannyasinis (nuns) of Sri Sarada Math
for the first time. “Mother has come out of India” he kept
saying. From the U.S they made a quick visit to England with
a short stay in the Vedanta Centre outside London before
arriving in India where a grand reception awaited Mataji in
Thrissur.

A disciple who had accompanied them all along, reminisces,

“When leaving Thrissur, I remember Mataji was looking out
the window and to my surprise I saw tears in her eyes. Just
now in Thrissur, as the ‘honoured guest’ visiting from
overseas, she had been smothered in love and now we were

12
on our way back to the hard pioneering Vedanta work in
Australia, isolated, far from the support of her elders in India.
It highlighted to me how much Mataji had sacrificed for us
and how loyal she was to Sri Sarada Math. Willing to go to
the ends of the earth to fulfil the mission given to her.’

On Wednesday, September 16, 1987, the Society took

possession of a Meeting Hall at 15 Liverpool Road, Croydon,
in the historic Malvern Hill Heritage Estate. Now, in addition
to the spiritual, the physical foundations of the Ramakrishna
Vedanta Movement in Australia were also firmly in place.
Alderman John Lutman, the Mayor of Burwood performed
the opening of Vedanta Hall on Sunday November 22, 1987.
Vedanta Hall has hosted numerous Interfaith lecture series
over the years with senior representatives of the major world
faiths and well-known religious media personalities.

Once or twice a year Pravrajika Ajayaprana Mataji visited

Adelaide, Brisbane, Melbourne and Perth. Retreats, public
lectures, parlour talks and classes were arranged. Many
people from diverse backgrounds benefited from these
activities. Due to the great interest in Vedanta in Adelaide a
group of devotees formed a study circle in 1991 with Mataji
as its spiritual teacher. She visited Adelaide up to three times
a year. In between her visits the devotees met together in a
house and held a session every second Sunday morning
according to a programme chalked out by her. The meetings
are continuing till date.

Since 1985 Pravrajika Ajayaprana Mataji visited Malaysia at

first, almost every year, and more recently, every second
year. There was a tremendous response to the lectures

13
there. Many took initiation. From the poor rubber tappers in
the mountains to the elite in Kuala Lumpur and Seremban,
all eagerly attended the talks. She also met Nelson Mandela
in Malaysia when he was on his world tour after being
released from detention.

The one thing about Mataji was her total lack of fear of
heights. Any time she came across a cliff she would insist on
standing awfully close to the edge. Like a child she would
say: “It’s alright, I just want to peer over the edge.” She also
loved clambering over rocks and climbing up close to
waterfalls with surprising agility and with a naughty childlike
smile on her face.

In a disciple’s words, “Mataji ensured that one phrase be

removed from our lives: “I can’t.” “Don’t say I can’t,” she
would tell us, “Say, I will try.” That teaching alone has helped
me to overcome many challenges.”

Interfaith activities led to some rewarding experiences.

Through inviting leaders of faith to participate in events at
the Vedanta Hall Mataji was, in turn, invited to represent
Hinduism at numerous events and gradually she became
known to leaders of faith in Australia. In the 1990s Mataji
was invited to a very high-level meeting in Melbourne with
just a handful of Australia’s leaders of faith. In their
discussions the leaders lamented the declining status of
religion in Australia. On a more philosophical note they
explored the nature of ‘truth.’ What is it really? Mataji shared
with them the Vedantic definition: “Truth is that which does
not change according to time, place and circumstances.”
She also shared with them the Nasadiya Sukta, the Vedic

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Hymn on ‘When non-existence was not.’ They were
fascinated.

In 1990 the Society purchased a rural property, Darama,

near Robertson in the Southern Highlands to be used as a
Retreat Centre. It has proved to be a valued asset, highly
appreciated by all who have visited there and been able to
absorb the tranquil atmosphere.

A larger house was required for the Sarada Tapovan. During

the lengthy process of selling the old house in Burwood and
searching for a new one the nuns moved to Darama in March
1996. In January 1997 the nuns moved into a newly acquired
residence at 13 Claremont Road, Burwood Heights.

Life with Mataji was always full of surprises. As one of the

sister nuns observed, “You never know what each day will
bring.” One such surprise was the request from the
organising Committee of the Sydney 2000 Olympic Games
for Mataji to help them with the running of a Religious
Services Centre in the athletes’ village. Mataji organised a
roster of Hindu representatives, including herself, to manage
the room set aside for Hinduism in the Centre.

In March 2001 the launch of the Women’s Interfaith Network

(WIN) was held at New South Wales Parliament House with
Pravrajika Ajayaprana Mataji as one of the founding
members. WIN meets monthly at the NSW Parliament
House where senior representatives of the major world faiths
have a platform to share ideas about the social and spiritual
aspects of their traditions. Till date nuns are participating in
these meetings.

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Some wonderful friendships arose, particularly among
leading women of the various faiths. In 2008 Sydney was the
venue for the Catholic Church’s World Youth Day. At
Vedanta Hall an international group of 23 pilgrims came to
learn about Hinduism. Pravrajika Ajayaprana Mataji
represented Hinduism at a Multifaith Forum held at the
prestigious Darling Harbour Convention Centre. She also
represented Hinduism at an exclusive Interfaith Meeting with
His Holiness Pope Benedict XVl. Only 35 invitees were
present for the gathering held in a small chapel under tight
security and covered by the International media.

The media in Australia took some interest in Mataji,

broadcasting three of her talks nationally and including her
in two television documentaries. For a few years, the
devotees enjoyed seeing Mataji’s photo included in the
opening images for the ABC’s (Australian Broadcasting
Commission’s) weekly Religion programme.

Pravrajika Ajayaprana also visited Sri Lanka twice, giving

talks and visiting areas affected by the 2004 Tsunami.

Mataji survived two medical traumas during her years in

Australia. In 2006 she underwent a serious operation due to
a twisted bowel. A terrible foreboding hung over the
meetings with the surgical team. There was doubt whether
Mataji could survive the operation. To the relief of all the
operation went well but when Mataji returned to her room
she looked so tiny and frail. However after a few months of
recovery at home, it was like a rebirth for Mataji and she was
full of energy again.

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But just three years later she was back in hospital again after
several alarming episodes including hallucinations and
losing consciousness. For a week, the Hospital’s
neurological and cardiology teams examined Mataji but
could not find the cause. Finally, on the night before being
discharged from the Cardiology ward the symptoms
returned. Like a dramatic scene, on monitors throughout the
ward, Mataji’s heartbeat was flat-lining. Nurses came
running from all directions and connected her to a temporary
pacemaker. Next day a pacemaker was inserted and
Mataji’s health picked up again.

While in the hospital many of the staff were fascinated by

Mataji. This was the first time they were meeting a Hindu
nun. Sometimes this would lead to interesting discussions.
One clinician was intrigued at how young Mataji looked for
her age. She asked: “What’s your secret?” The answer was:
Regularity. Then Mataji described how helpful it is to stick to
a daily routine. “As far as possible” Mataji would say, “Get
up and go to bed at the same time, eat your meals at the
same time, be regular in your hours of work and leisure, and
so on.” Her point was, just as a dog, our body and mind like
(prefer) routine and if we stick to it, they will serve us better,
we will be healthier, have more energy and a clearer mind.

Even in the operation theatre while preparing for the

pacemaker spiritual discussion arose. The surgeon asked
Mataji, “What’s the difference between prayer and
meditation?” Mataji immediately replied: “Prayer is when you
talk to God, meditation is when you listen to Him.”

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This latest medical episode made Mataji ponder about her
future. Ever the meticulous planner Mataji quietly
determined that she should spend her remaining years in
India. It was a shock. The news was gradually broken to the
devotees. For many it was as if they were being told that
Mataji was passing away because apart from briefly visiting
her in India – something not possible for all – Mataji was,
physically at least, passing from their lives. Such a deep
bond had formed between them and Mataji. Over the years
through letters, emails, phone calls and personal interviews,
many sought Mataji’s patient and wise advice, a steady
source of strength. As many said, it’s easier to open your
heart to a motherly figure.

Recognising how distressing this news was for the devotees,

Mataji's Secretary tried, as far as possible, to convey it in
person, sitting with the devotees, and only after facing the
first wave of shock and grief would he let them meet with
Mataji. Even then, as she travelled over several months to
all the cities, meeting up with all the devotees for one last
time, as hard as the Secretary tried to shield Mataji from the
emotional trauma, it took its toll on her and she became
weaker and sicker.

By the time, the flight back to India came round in

September, Mataji was so weak and sick, everyone was
terribly worried that she wouldn’t be able to get back to India.

One day in September a phone call came to the Secretary

of Ramakrishna Sarada Mission, Trivandrum. On the other
side it was Mataji. She just asked, “Will you give me a room
there?” In reply the Secretary of the centre asked, “Why

18
Mataji, why are you asking me like this? This place is yours.
You can come and stay here whenever you wish.” Thus
arrangements were made in Ramakrishna Sarada Mission,
Trivandrum to receive her.

On September 22, 2011, she left Sydney with the

satisfaction that the Sarada Math Centre there is well
established.

In the disciple's words: “For 29 ½ years Mataji was the centre

of my life as we developed the Sri Sarada Math Centre here.
Days filled with so many experiences and challenges. With
her wisdom, strength, common sense and numerous
scolding’s, she transformed me from the dreamy, raw,
inexperienced young man who met her at the airport all
those years ago.”

On 28th September, 2011 she landed in Chennai, along with

two devotees. After staying for 2 days in Sri Sarada Math,
Chennai on 30th September Mataji arrived at the Trivandrum
centre. When Mataji left for Sydney in 1982 the devotees
had missed her very much. So when she came back after
nearly 30 years, they were overjoyed and received her
cordially. Though her health was very poor when she
arrived, slowly she began to regain her health. She was very
active in giving public lectures, conducting weekly classes
and youth camps in the Mission premises. On 19th
November, 2011 she was appointed President of Sri Sarada
Math, Thrissur. As the dry climate of Thrissur didn’t suit her,
she supervised the activities of the Thrissur Math staying in
the Trivandrum Centre. She used to visit Thrissur Math
every now and then. On 1st June, 2012 she was appointed

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Trustee of Sri Sarada Math and Member of the Governing
Body of the Ramakrishna Sarada Mission, Dakshineswar.

On 21st December, 2011 (Swami Shivananda Maharaj’s

Birthday) Mataji started giving initiation in India. Whenever
her health permitted she travelled to many parts of India like
Chennai, Bangalore, Pune, Indore, Valsad, Guntur, Delhi
etc. and gave initiation. Wherever Mataji went she would
create an intimate relationship with the devotees there.
Monastic sisters of our various Centres also would eagerly
wait for Mataji’s visit to their Centres.

In March, 2017 Mataji was elected as the Vice President of

Sri Sarada Math and Ramakrishna Sarada Mission.

In Trivandrum Mataji conducted Satsangas in the houses of

devotees, which included bhajans by the devotees, Mataji’s
reading and explanation of the ‘The Daily thoughts and
Prayers’ and guided meditation followed by chanting of Hari
Om Ramakrishna. The devotees were deeply touched and
highly benefited by these Satsangas. They used to eagerly
wait for their turn to have Mataji in their houses. Till February
2020, she was very active in taking classes and meeting
devotees etc.

Special mention has to be made here about Mataji’s

personality. As a member of the Ramakrishna Order she
was very particular in following the principles and ideals of
the Order without compromise. She always tried her best to
inculcate this quality into the minds of the junior monastic
members also. Mataji used to tell them, “Swamiji came to
the house of each one of us, touched our forehead with his

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index finger and said ‘this is my girl’. It was then the desire
to join the Order aroused in our minds”. Mataji was so
disciplined in her daily actions and movements that she was
not been able to tolerate even the slightest carelessness
from others. She used to tell, “Always remember that we
belong to the great Order of Ramakrishna and we should
always keep up its dignity. In our behaviour, speech, dress
and in all our movements we should keep it in our mind”.
She used to tell, “if anybody does anything contrary to the
ideals of the Order, it affects not only the individual but the
whole Order”.

The monastic sisters used to remember how they got

training from her even in the minutest things. Mataji used to
tell them, “when you do something, your mind will jump up
to the next action. But we should keep our mind on that
particular action even though it is simple like keeping
something on the table, switching on a light etc..”. Mataji was
very particular in keeping things in their own places. She
could not bear the slightest variation. This used to remind
us of the words of Sri Ramakrishna in the Gospel that we
should keep everything in its particular place so that we
would get it even in darkness. The monastic sisters, though
sometimes felt it very difficult to move with Mataji for her
strict discipline, later would think it was their good fortune to
get such training from her. Mataji, from her side, knew that
it was unpleasant to be hard with them. Still she did it for
their own sake and for the sake of the Order. For her, the
Order always came first. Though she was very strict, she
had a loving heart. She used to tell the monastic sisters not
to neglect their health. She would say, “At the time of
Sannyasa we have offered this body to Sri Ramakrishna and

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He gave it back to us as prasad. So we should keep it
healthy and fit for doing His work.”

Since February 2020, Mataji’s health started deteriorating.

Due to some stomach problems she got admitted in the
Ramakrishna Ashrama, Sasthamangalam hospital for a few
days. On 3rd May at about 8.30 p.m., Mataji suddenly
became unconscious. She regained consciousness after a
few minutes and was immediately admitted to the hospital in
ICU. When the pacemaker was checked it showed a high
rate episode which lasted 3 minutes at that time. After one
or two days, the doctors said that the vital functions are
normal. But she was still very weak and her BP was low. As
per Mataji’s wish on the 7th, Buddha purnima day she was
discharged from the hospital and returned to the centre.

After coming back also she was very weak. Due to

continuous extreme weakness she was again taken to the
hospital on 11th May. However there was no change in the
treatment. She was a little better on that day. On the next
day, 12th afternoon, discomfort increased; doctors and
nurses came rushing and it was found that her BP was very
low, after which Norad injection was immediately given to
increase her BP. It was further detected that her albumin
level was very low and creatinine high. Later on that day
Mataji asked the attendant Sannyasini jokingly, if it was time
for her to go.

That night when the Swamiji in charge of the hospital came

to visit Mataji, she spoke to him for at least 10 minutes in her
normal voice, telling all the old stories. The next morning (on
13th), Mataji said, “Yesterday I went half way and you people

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dragged me back, but today I will go. You should do japa at
that time.” The two Sannyasinis who were attending her
said, “No Mataji, the time has not yet come for you to go.”
Then Mataji said, “you don’t know, you have to be prepared.”
She also said, “tell Kochu Mataji, yesterday Mataji frightened
us,” and added, “but Kochu Mataji (Pravrajika Vimalaprana
Mataji) doesn’t know that I will go today.” In the afternoon,
as no veins were available because of fluid retention, the
central vein in the neck had to be taken for further treatment.
On that day the Swami discussed with the doctors about
dialysis. At 7.30 p.m. she was taken for dialysis which took
6 hours. Though she had been restless earlier, during the
procedure she was very calm. By 2.45 a.m. after dialysis
she was taken to the ICU again. Till 6 a.m. she was alright.
But after that the Central vein began to bleed and the nurses
had to redress it. Thereafter she had discomfort due to pain
on the neck. She began to ask to be taken to Sarada
Mission. She was repeating again and again, “you people
are not understanding, take me to Sarada Mission.”
Meanwhile, as the food intake was very little and Mataji was
so weak, nasal feeding was started. Some tender coconut
water and some liquid food were given. By that time
preparations were going on for the second dialysis. But
seeing her discomfort it was thought that it would be better
not to do it then itself.

In between, the senior most Swamiji of the Trivandrum

Centre came to see Mataji on a wheel chair. When he was
told that Mataji wanted to be taken to Sarada Mission, he
said, “Why Mataji, this also is Thakur’s place. What is the
difference? Here our Mokshavratananda will look after you
so nicely.” At this Mataji smiled sweetly.

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Mataji was repeatedly asking to remove the neck central
vein connection as she had discomfort and also asked to
make her sit. Actually she was requesting saying, “please…,
help me to get up”. So the cot was raised and she was made
to sit. Her face was wiped and shrine photographs of Thakur,
Ma, Swamiji and Maharaj (Swami Shankarananda Maharaj)
were shown to her. She did pranams to them by keeping
them on her head and was given some ganga water as she
used to do it daily. By then she started to breath little heavily
in a rhythmical way and became silent - no requests. Her
eyes were open but her gaze was not in this world. By that
time the Swamiji arrived and said her vital functions are still
alright. Her BP was being maintained by two injections and
Oxygen saturation was also normal. But Mataji’s eyes were
fixed and breathing was slowing down. Then one of the
Sannyasinis poured some Ganga water in her mouth. Mataji
swallowed it and closed her mouth and eyes silently. There
was no pain, no breathing, no heartbeat. Everything was
calm and silent. All present including the Maharaj and staff
members were chanting Thakur’s name. It was 12.45 p.m.

Mataji’s body was taken to the Ramakrishna Sarada Mission

and kept for darshan till 4 p.m. Mataji had expressed her
wish of having her body cremated in Sarada Math, Thrissur,
in the traditional way. So her body was taken to Thrissur
reaching there at 11.45 p.m. Whole night Shanthi mantras,
Katha Upanishad, the Bhagavad Gita and all the three
Sahasranamams, Hanuman Chalisa, some portions from
Srimad Bhagavatam and Ramayana and stavas and also
songs which Mataji liked were chanted. At about 7.30 a.m.
holy bath was given to her and kept for last darshan. By 9.30

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a.m. Pravrajika Vimalaprana Mataji did arati in front of the
Temple. After that, with chantings Mataji’s body was taken
to the cremation place, in the Math’s compound. By 10.30
a.m. funeral pyre was lighted.

The ideals of renunciation, sacrifice, dedication, service and

love reflected in her life will ever remain a shining example.

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 Extracts from informal talks given by Revered Mataji

Prayer :

A bhakta, if he loves God, believes he will be bestowed with

everything at the proper time by the loving Lord. He places
himself at the feet of the Lord to be dealt with in the way that
He likes by Him. The bhakta considers himself and his life
as an offering…..

The genuine bhakta does not ask for anything. He knows

that God loves him so much that whatever he needs will be
given at the proper time in the proper way. He waits. Infinite
purity, infinite patience and infinite perseverance are
necessary for a good cause, says Swami Vivekananda.
Infinite purity with no selfishness blackening the heart-with a
pure heart full of sincerity, with no pretension and with infinite
patience, wait – wait till grace comes. Realise that He knows
much better than I do, when I need help and in what way. He
will bestow it on me. Have this kind of faith and infinite
perseverance that I will not budge an inch from the path no
matter what setbacks may come – because setbacks are
sure to come – that will not put me off, I will persist and
persist.

Have faith in God – unflinching faith. Let the whole world

stand against you but don’t be shaken, only then you will
experience the grace of God, the love of God. Faith is
absolutely necessary. Holy mother says, “When you do Japa
and meditation, have faith in the fact that God listens to you.”

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Japam :

In Japa what do we do? What is Japa? Japa is the repetition

of the same word of the God. (Repetition of any word is not
Japa; repetition of the word ‘stone’ is not Japa). It is said
that ‘Nama’ and the ‘Nami’, the name and the owner of the
name are the same. God and His name are the same. As He
has no name, all names are His names, all forms are His.
All forms are door ways to enter into infinity.

If we practice Japa, always there is hope. It may be

downward or upward it does not matter. Keep up hope.
Remember every dip in the wave is preceded by a rise and
followed by a rise. So when we go downward, remember a
beautiful time is coming - wait for that. Keep up hope. Japa
will give one the strength.

If we want peace, we must do Japa – a simple word, but it

has such immense power that it can pull the Lord towards
us. This is Japa Sadhana. Do it and be blessed.

Satsanga :

Contact with great souls mentally, intellectually, spiritually or

physically will transform our lives. Vivifying rays from those
personalities will enter our being and in course of time a
silent transformation will take place.

Sometimes mere contact with the holy can mentally purify

us. Read their lives and think about it – think – not meditate.
When we think about the life of any great person, we live and

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relive it in our hearts. We go over the episodes of those lives
again and again in our minds and in course of time fine rays
emanating from those lives will slowly bring about changes
in our personality. You are what your thoughts are, nothing
more, nothing less. So beware of what thoughts you keep in
your heart. It will affect your personality, your character. If
you keep in your hearts, the thoughts of these great
personalities, who have got transforming power then,
without any effort on your part you will get transformed. Just
imagine the magic! Only human beings can do that -
remember. We are so fortunate that we have been created
by God that way.

In satsanga, it is easier to absorb great things. Simply being

in the company of a great being will not give you much
benefit unless you use your heart and brain along with it. You
have to observe the radiation, the vibrations that emanate
from that personality. Whether that person is physically
present or not, it is enough if you keep that person in your
heart. Think of that person, read about that person and you
will find so much peace enveloping you like a mantle. You
will feel good, you will feel that you can face life, any
challenge in life.

Intellectually we understand from Vedanta that we are a Soul

which is one with God, a spark of God. We are walking
temples, we carry God in our hearts. We carry the creator of
this world, the king of this world, the strength of this world in
us, wherever we go; we can't help it. He won't leave us at all
whether we remember Him or not. Those who meditate or
try to meditate, close their eyes to the external world and
then go within. Then He is happy thinking - all this time my

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child has been looking at the external world; Now at last he
is trying to see Me. We can then see Him sitting there in our
hearts with a wonderful smile full of affection. Then we feel
that we really are in the company of the holy, of holiness.
"Pavithrata Swarupinye"- Holiness itself, not embodiment of
holiness.

Reaching the Goal:

Failures are our greatest friends not victory. So when failure

comes work harder. "The strength is in you – just use it.
Never say ‘I can’t’, Never.. Whenever a person says ‘I can’t’
that means he/she is lazy. You are announcing to the world
that you are lazy. Don't say that. Say, ‘Why can't I? Millions
of people all over the world have walked the path before and
even now they are, so why can’t I?’ Attack the problem. Wait
for difficulties. Always expect that difficulty will come, failure
will come, then you will not be shocked. That's why they say
always be positive. Make sure that you never say l can’t.
Promise yourself and God, ask for His help. We on our own
cannot, so ask God, He is always ready to help. Holy Mother
says that people ask for all kinds of things, one thing they
don't ask for is sakthi. Nobody asks for sakthi, says
shaktiswaroopini Sarada. She is sakthi; she is standing there
ready to give. Her complaint is that we don't ask. So
whenever you feel weak call her, she is waiting there for us
to call her and say, "Please give me the sakthi to face this
situation." It will come in the most unexpected way. Be
positive about that, have faith in that. If possible every
morning when you wake up and before you get out of bed
Just pray, "Mother, whatever happens today please give me
the sakthi to face it properly. What the proper way is she will

29
decide, She only wants our good so always remember to
pray every morning. Remembering is most important. If in
case you forget in the morning, say the prayer before you go
to bed at night. Make it a point to say it at least once and
you’ll find that your life is different, the world is different. You
will then be able to face every obstacle and thus you will
reach the goal. So first set up the goal and start your journey
with a positive attitude - I will reach there. May be others
reach there ahead of me, it doesn't matter. Myself and my
goal is all that matters. I will reach there one day with the
help of Mother. Even if l forget her she will never forget me.
Wherever I am, she will be nearby ready to give. I just have
to ask, it will be transferred into my hands. Remember this
and be positive, never be negative.

When obstacles come don't get discouraged. We may have

done one of these two things – omission and commission. I
may have omitted to look at something or I may have
committed something l should not have done. I have not
looked carefully and so missed something - that is omission
or in my enthusiasm I may have done something I should not
have, that is commission. So never be in a hurry. Nowadays
everyone is in a rush. Why this haste? I don't know. Haste is
a killer, so too is worry. Worry is because of pride - this
should not have happened to 'me’ - that ego, ‘me'. It's
because of our ego that hurry and worry come. Be ready to
accept that you have made a mistake somewhere that's why
this happened. Have the humility to accept your mistake.
There's a saying in English - the branch of the tree that
refuses to bend will break. So bend, have the humility to
accept your part in the failure or mistake. The mistakes of
others may perhaps be more prominent but it doesn't matter.

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Think that you have also contributed a little that's why it has
happened to you. It is greatness to accept one's mistake, It
is not low, only great people can accept their mistakes.
Always remember when you accept your mistake it is not
humiliation, you are becoming greater. Accept and correct
it then you will not make the same mistake next time. These
are all important in our march towards our goal. We are
human beings, we are in a hurry and are hungry for results,
so we will make mistakes. ‘To err is human is the old saying’.
Our thinking capacity is limited. We can't think of the infinite
possibilities. Possibilities being infinite many things can
happen unexpectedly which we can't always foresee. We
have limited vision and we will make mistakes. Have the
greatness and humility to find out where you went wrong and
admit ‘I made a mistake.’ When a person admits his or her
mistake people will not be angry, instead they will be happy.
That is greatness, remember that. Never forget this lesson.

Let us practise a little humility like the branch that bends. If

it refuses to bend it will break. So that is the instruction for
us. It will not only help our growth but will take us further and
further towards our goal. So be alert, be observant, the world
is full of surprises. Enjoy the beauty of this earth, the beauty
of flowers, the beauty of the trees. It is all there for us to
enjoy.

Happiness is not brought in by others. It is inside. That's why

the often quoted saying becomes important - the mind will
get from the world only that which the mind has put into it.
Modern science and modern psychology say this. If I give
love to the world, I get love. If I give hatred, I will get back
hatred. If I am indifferent to the world, people will be

31
indifferent towards me. It is up to me, whatever I project will
come back to me. Don't blame the world. Love loving; think
of the joy it brings. I love everyone, I don't have anger or
complaint about anybody - isn't this a beautiful way to live.
The neighbour's dog is always barking, but what is it to me?
That is its nature. In the same way accept everyone thinking
that that is their nature. We expect different behaviour from
different people, that's the trouble. There is no guarantee
that we are behaving as they want us to. We behave as we
like but we want others to behave as we like. That is not
possible. So accept the world as it is and love it. There is joy
and beauty in loving everyone. Your life will be exciting, life
will be interesting, life will be full of joy.

Others:

Modern woman is a complete stranger to the real meaning

of modesty. Modesty is not a shy backing away from public
gaze to hide behind the veil, though in order to respect the
social norms of the day Holy Mother hid her face behind the
veil when in Calcutta. Modesty is conducting oneself with
dignity, strength and self-control. A modest woman knows
when to project herself, when to assert her views in critical
situations, when to voice opinions in the midst of arguments
or discussions, when and how to lend a helping hand, how
to preserve her own self-esteem when respecting that of
others, and how to conduct herself with dignity and poise in
the privacy of her own home and in public.

You can do one thing if you want peace of mind. Two or three
times a day, for two or three seconds, turn your attention to

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your heart and think: the light of the universe, the life energy
of the universe is in me. Just touch the life spring there two
or three times a day and you will find that peace will come to
you and envelop you like a mantle keeping you safe and
strong away from the faults of this world.

Each word, look and movement of a real teacher carries a

lesson for those who have the eyes to see, the heart to
accept, and the intellect to discern.

Always remember that the heart of the human being is the

seat of God. Give the heart to God and the hands to the
world. Strike a balance, and life will be a success.

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