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APRIL 23 2012

Psychotherapy
In late 2006, I realized I needed therapy.
therapy_tstock
Maybe it was because I was prone to
dramatic outbursts over inconsequential
comments and criticisms from women around
me. Maybe it was because I was going out
and drinking six nights a week. Maybe it was
because any time a girl told me she cared
about me I freaked out and shut her out of my
life. Maybe it was because I realized that I
was so desperate for validation that I would
become upset if people at a party weren’t always paying attention to me. Maybe it
was because sober sexual encounters made me so nervous that I could hardly
perform.

I don’t recall the exact breaking point, but I suppose one day I woke up and realized
that I was an emotional wreck and I should probably do something to fix it.

Both of my parents attended therapy for much of my adolescence to deal with their
divorce. Ironically, most of my therapy sessions dealt with the same topic. But my
father always swore by its benefits, so I was fortunate in that I grew up without the
negative stigma most people attach to therapy. When I realized I needed it, I had
little hesitation.

Six months later, my relationships improved a great deal. I was exercising greater
self-control in my social life. I had actually calmed down and dated the same woman
for three months. One day I walked into my therapist’s office and told him, “For the
first time in six months, I’m not sure what I want to talk about this week.” He said that
was a good sign. That was my last session. To this day, therapy is one of the most
important developmental tools I’ve had in my life. It helped me a great deal. And the
years in which I was a dating coach, I recommended it often.
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What Is Psychotherapy?
Everyone has heard of therapy in some form or another, but a lot of people don’t
have a clear idea of what it is or what they’re getting into. One stereotype is that you
lay on a couch and cry like a child. Another is that it’s just some guy who prescribes
you pills. Another is it’s some guy who shows you ink-blots and asks you what you
see. As with many things, these are caricatures created by pop culture for
entertainment purposes. Most therapy is far more dull and far more personal than
this.

The idea behind psychotherapy is that most of our decision-making comes from
unconscious aspects of our mind. As long as these parts of our mind are
unconscious, we’re unable to exercise control over them. The primary purpose of
therapy is to help us become aware of these sections of our unconscious, accept
them and then begin exerting control over them.

For instance, a man who gets uncontrollably angry when his girlfriend doesn’t call
him back, there’s something buried within his unconscious which is causing him to
react in such an irrational manner. By attending therapy, he can start digging into his
past, his emotional development, his traumas, his life problems, his childhood, and
find the trigger. Maybe his mother made a habit of leaving him behind when he was
most vulnerable. Perhaps his first girlfriend cheated on him repeatedly and was
rarely available. Whatever. Once uncovered, the man can process the anger and the
hurt in a safe environment. This will then allow him to become more aware of the
anger and therefore not feel so powerless to these outbursts when they happen.
Eventually, he should be able to exert enough control over the emotion to modify his
behavior.

Another popular form of therapy is Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT). CBT is

useful for changing specific habits or thought-patterns, particularly anxiety and
depression. CBT focuses more on observing your thoughts and how they lead to
behaviors rather than unconscious emotions. Both forms of therapy have their own
strengths and weaknesses. Both are quite effective depending on the issue. This
site’s own Approach Women Program is based on CBT in helping men get over their
anxiety meeting and talking to women.
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Problems with Therapy

There are a lot of criticisms of therapy, and although most of them are made by
people who have never actually attended therapy, some of them are legitimate. If
you are considering therapy or are already in therapy, here are some things to watch
out for:

Professional Pill Prescribers- People often mistake psychologists/therapists

for psychiatrists. Psychiatrists prescribe medications and specialize in mental
illnesses. Psychologists (generally) do not. Unfortunately, the reputation has
developed that ALL therapy consists of, whether by a psychologist or
psychiatrist, is a queue to get easy drugs. Unfortunately this is true for some
practitioners.Unless you believe you suffer from a mental illness, I would
recommend a therapist/psychologist and only pursue medication if therapy
seems ineffective over an extended period of time. Many people go straight to a
psychiatrist who then hands them anti-depressants or some other pill like it’s
candy.
 
Be Pro-Active. Take Responsibility for Your Progress- Many people attend
therapy with the expectation that they go sit in a comfy chair and the therapist
will magically fix them. Sometimes they even get frustrated when “nothing
happens” in their therapy questions, when in actuality they’re hardly
participating in them.Therapy is a participatory activity. In fact, I would argue
that if therapy is going well, it’s because you are doing 80% of the work. You
should approach it with the attitude that you are there to work on yourself and
the therapist is there to facilitate you and give you a push in the right direction.
See them as a personal trainer for your mind and emotions. You’re still doing all
of the heavy-lifting, but they’re there to spot you, encourage you and direct you.
If you aren’t willing to do the work, then they can’t do anything to help you.
 
Switch It Up- Therapy is still subject to the Law of Self Help: you can judge the
usefulness of any self help tool by how many people are leaving it. If people are
leaving it, it works. If people are staying, then it’s not working. Many people
leave therapy with success stories (myself included), but many people stay for
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years and years with little to show for it.Many people fall into comfortable
patterns with their therapists. In the beginning, they may uncover some major
issues and make some big changes, but eventually, the therapist won’t be able
to offer a new perspective, the patient will come in every week or month for
years on end, they will discuss the same topics, and they will enter into a loop
of: patient shares problems, therapists validates problems, patient feels better
about problems and leaves, comes back later with similar (or the same)
problems.

Don’t fall into the trap of paying someone to validate your issues. It’s tempting
and it’s easy to do, both for you and for your therapist. But don’t do it. Therapy
should feel a little uncomfortable. It should challenge you. It should make you think
about your life from new perspectives. It shouldn’t feel good all the time. If it ever
becomes repetitive, then it may be time to get out and find a new therapist or try
something else.

Treat Hiring a Therapist Like Hiring an Employee- Another problem people

have is that they are not selective with the therapist they hire. You should treat
as if you’re interviewing people for a job opening in your life. Most therapists
offer free consultation sessions where you can meet them, get to know them
and describe your problems to them. There will be some therapists whom you
naturally click with and others who you don’t. Some therapists will be able to
relate to your problems personally, others won’t.When I sought out a therapist, I
purposely found a younger male who used to party a lot and was a musician. I
felt like he could relate to me and where I was in my life. Things went really well.

Recently, when Tucker Max described his therapist, he noted that he

intentionally found an elderly woman because he felt most comfortable talking
to women and wanted a woman who wouldn’t put up with his bullshit — a
motherly figure. Take a moment to consider what type of therapist could best
relate to your issues and help you and seek them out. Hiring a therapist is a
large commitment, so take it seriously.
Do You Need Therapy?
As I mentioned earlier, I’ve referred a lot of men to therapy over the years. Most have
Articles
ignored it. Some have gone. Books
A few have Courses
come back Forum
and thanked me for Contact
recommending it to them. It’s hard to say for sure who needs and who doesn’t.
Therapy is one of those tricky things, like most self development tools, because it’s
rarely ever a bad thing to do. One could argue that everyone needs therapy in some
form or another or for some period of time. But I would only recommend it if you feel
you aren’t able to handle your emotional issues on your own and have tried for a
while.

Here are some signs you may want to consider therapy:

You have emotional or sexual impulses you don’t have control over: angry
outbursts, fear of intimacy, sexual anxiety, bouts of depression, etc.
You come from a difficult childhood, had absent parents or a poor relationship
with your parents.
You’ve suffered some major traumas in your life (death of loved ones, abuse,
major health problems, etc.).
You have compulsive behaviors which interfere with other areas of your life: i.e.,
partying, chasing women, drugs/alcohol, etc.
Most of the relationships in your life are dysfunctional and/or unhealthy (always
fighting, lots of blame/guilt, etc.). This includes friendships, significant others,
family members.
You are overly pre-occupied with one aspect of your life. Common examples
include: obsession with being “cool” or popular, obsession with impressing
others, obsession with your sexuality, constant need for approval and to
impress others, even obsessing about improving yourself (feeling like you’re
never good enough), etc.

If you have any specific questions about your situation or issues, feel free to post
them in the comments below. Obviously, I’m not a therapist, but I deal with men’s
emotional problems day-in and day-out, so I may be able to steer you in the right
direction.

I’d also love to hear some readers’ experiences with therapy, both good and bad. So
if you have experiences with therapy, please post them below. Hopefully this will
encourage others to seek the help they need and give them a safe environment to
pursue it.

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36 Comments LEAVE A COMMENT

David Reply
2 MONTHS AGO

Really thought-provoking article Mark. Def everyone could well

benefit from some kind of therapy to better understand
themselves.

A related article could be on ‘when to seek a life coach’ and how

it’s different from what you describe above.

Interestingly as a teacher of English I’ve found it odd just how

‘inner game’ issues can get in the way of the odd student. And this
is just learning English, not usually the highest priority in their
lives but certain issues can affect their world fully.

It makes me wonder what it means when I do exactly what they

requested, but then they are afraid of doing it. Fear of something..
Tim Reply
2 MONTHS AGO

Articles
If you’re already inBooks Courses
therapy, and unsure if it’s Forum Contact
working effectively,
this might help:
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/04/22/opinion/sunday/in-therapy-
forever-enough-already.html?
gwh=9C1B7AB03349FB28D509F397EC98EF4A

Derrick Reply
2 MONTHS AGO

I’ve tried about everything else to get over my doubts and

insecurities. I’ve been seriously considering going to therapy,
unfortunately my schedule won’t allow it for another few months.

Thanks for the article.

Pellaeon Reply
2 MONTHS AGO

@Tim That article was very interesting, I’ll keep it in mind with my
therapist – especially as I do see myself leading the majority of
the two sessions we’ve had.

@Mark I recently just started due in part to some of what you’ve

said in previous articles and in part to reading Clarisse’s book and
some of the comments on her blog. I feel like my involvement with
“the community” has been a major healing point for most of my
insecurities, but I’ve come to realize that if I’m say, on the metro,
and a woman starts checking me out when I’ve not mentally
prepared myself for it, I lapse into a state of paralysis and start to
feel a very strong sense of unworthiness. Or if I lock eyes with an
attractive woman that I haven’t spoken to yet, I start to feel a
strong urge to cry if it lasts for a long period of time. Likewise, in
the very rare occurrence that I’m introduced to a single woman by
a friend, I tend to get very shy and feel insecure. The crazy irony
is that the last time this happened, my friend would point to a
woman in the bar, and I could approach and be my normal
confident self, andBooks
Articles then slide back into insecurity
Courses Forum when I returned
Contact
to the “friend of a friend.”

I didn’t think more experience approaching was gonna help solve

that, so I signed up for a therapist. I’m not entirely sold on the one
I’m currently seeing, but I hate shopping around and he has a
very different perspective to offer (albeit out of touch with modern
dating dynamics – he’s never heard the term “game” used in the
context “Man, that guy was smooth. He has game.”). He’s given
me some things to think about and a couple book suggestions to
look into, so I’ll see where it goes.

ENCY-12 Reply
2 MONTHS AGO

good stuff as usual Mark

I just need to get your book again, lost the e-book version when
my computer crashed and burned (too much porn my young
brother quiped ha)
but yeah long time reader, since the days of the your article on the
Zen dilemna and the article from David Foster Wallace, they
where turning points.
big Fan

professor Reply
2 MONTHS AGO

Great article! As a psychologist, I wholeheartedly approve your

advice. Another reason to consider therapy – you see the
repeated patterns in your life and want to understand them.
Oftentimes we repeat patterns we were socialized into and
unconsciously repeat them, be they negative or positive. This is
especially true for romantic relationships so it is really important to
acknowledge and understand patterns if one is interested in
breaking the negative ones.

BTW, I find your blog very inspirational even though I am a

woman.
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Zac Reply
2 MONTHS AGO

This was great. Coming to terms with who you are and accepting
yourself for it is an important part of a persons development, at
least imo. I’ve personally attended a very small amount of therapy
with a few different therapists and it’s always been very helpful to
me. This article is definitely motivating, especially when you
mention a lot of people drop out of it. I’ve never made a serious
commitment even though I’ve seen a lot of the benefits of going at
least semi regularly. I plan on attending more in the future. I’ll be
moving soon and hopefully were I move I can find a few English
speaking therapists… I was considering maybe signing up for
online therapy. I read about it in a few places about it and I’m
planning on looking more into it. Who says you have to be int he
same room? I had a health consultation the other day that felt like
therapy in a way and we did it over Skype. Here is an article I just
read about it after reading your site.
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-mindfulness-
approach/201007/online-counseling-therapy-service-skype

Guy Guides Reply

2 MONTHS AGO

great insight. something interesting to explore is whether the need

for mental therapy is more of a first-world problem or not.
Interesting pdf article here:

http://download.thelancet.com/pdfs/journals/lancet/PIIS01406736
11605874.pdf
Paul Reply
2 MONTHS AGO

Articles in theBooks
As someone Courses
field, I am glad to see notForum Contact
only a fair and
informative article on psychotherapy, but also a male’s welcoming
of engaging in deep emotional work. Great tips for making the
most out of the work too!

Jack Reply
2 MONTHS AGO

Great article dude! Makes me want to go to therapy!

Halo Effect Reply

2 MONTHS AGO

I have some experiences with therapy.

The first time I went, I went because I wanted to overcome my

social anxiety. And the reason I wanted to overcome my social
anxiety was because I was desperately awful with girls. The
therapist told me, first of all, that I was not socially anxious. He
said: “Look, I treat guys who have serious social anxiety disorder,
and you don’t have that.” Then I told him about how I wanted to
get good with women, and he started to question that desire.
(Note: I basically was a virgin back then who couldn’t even make
out with women.) He directly put my issues and desires into
question, in a way that didn’t help me at all. To top things off, he
said he had a ranch in Spain with horses, and that I could go
there to talk to the horses, because that is apparently a form of
therapy.

I quickly stopped going to that guy obviously and I learned that

not all psychologists are good psychologists.
Next time I went to see a psychologist was to address issues
concerning sexual shame and porn habits. This was freaking
scary to do, but I basically told the therapist everything. He didn’t
seem used to discussing these issues, but my goal was to share
them Articles
with another Books
person, andCourses
I did that, andForum
I felt proud Contact
of that. I
didn’t feel much acceptance because he seemed a little
uncomfortable discussing all the things I discussed with him, but I
did feel better after the few sessions I had with him.

Some time later I didn’t feel like I achieved closure on this issue,
so I looked for a sexologist. The sexologist I found was much
better at talking specifically about shame and sexual issues. He
talked openly about everything and said that he saw young men
with issues exactly like mine all the time. He reduced my shame
considerably and gave me some new perspectives to chew on.

Overall, I believe that therapy can be tremendously helpful. But it

is important to realize that therapists are humans too, and some
of them you won’t click with, and some are just plain bad at their
job. Be sure to find a good therapist. But if a therapist challenges
you, that can actually be a good thing.

Paul Reply
2 MONTHS AGO

Yes, psychotherapy is like any other profession in terms

of competence and commitment. I’ve heard that even
when you are an exceptional clinician, you’re lucky if you
‘match’ good with 1/3 of your clients. I’m sorry to hear you
had a bad experience with the first therapist. It doesn’t
sound like he was working in your best interest at all. I am
glad that you kept on searching though and taking
responsibility for your concerns. It makes me very angry
when I hear about people who have had bad experiences
and develop mistrust toward the profession. There are
some truly wonderful people in the field.
 gEERT Reply
2 MONTHS AGO

awesome story Halo!

Articles
Talking canBooks Courses
definetly help. Forum
I’ve always Contact
had very deep
bonds with my male friends. You know those typical guys
nights. Friendship between men is really something very
valuable!

I’ve had a bad experience with therapy myself, basically I

found that he was a very judgemental person. Which
sucked. I eventually found my own way out of it since I’ve
always been a very introspective person.

Halo, could you write about your experiences with

pornography in the no-more-porn thread? I’m just really
curious to what your experiences are before and after a
period of porn use. I’m planning on writing a reboot story
myself as well. But I would still like to wait another month
or so, before i’ll write a full experience.

I’ve seen many guys reboot successfully and it’s really

insane how drastic their changes can be. Some guys go
from zero ambition, confidence to men who exude
charisma and who are very confident. Believe me I’ve
seen it happen a lot.

If someone is reading this, you can visit

http://www.yourbrainonporn.com for a very interesting
introduction to this topic. The site has a purely informative
agenda and you can read up on guy’s experiences.

AC Reply
2 MONTHS AGO

I am a strong believer that almost everyone can benefit from

therapy.

I started seeing therapists last year, and it has helped me

progress tremendously. It’s helped me develop an excellent sense
of self awareness.

There’s a lot of pseudo-advice out there on the Internet, some of it

useful, but a lot of it can hurt too- some advice is good for some
typesArticles
of people, and harmful toCourses
Books other types. A therapist can
Forum Contact
instead tailor therapy to your needs- that’s their job.

My only knock on therapy is that it’s both a sizable time and

financial commitment. There are benefits, but sometimes the
return on investment is questionable. The bad ones will still be
helpful though- just be ready to cut them off if things are
progressing too slowly.

See a therapist. It may not work out, but it’s well worth a few
sessions. I only wish I had seen a few years ago.

Passion Reply
2 MONTHS AGO

Every therapist I’ve had up to this point has been older (like over
40 or 50; not too sure about the actual ages here) and way too
sensitive. They rarely tried to probe too deeply and almost every
session was just “feel good” masturbation. Obviously, its nice the
first couple of sessions, especially when you enter feeling down
on yourself, but that usually fixes itself, and your left with a
politically correct guy who’s afraid of ruffling some feathers.

I don’t know. Maybe it’s all just me, but I think I’m going to try
finding a younger guy. I feel like I have some defense
mechanisms that interfere with certain aspects in my life (school,
friends, women, etc.). Is there any particular practice of therapy
anyone could recommend? I want to feel like I’m challenged
more, and possibly be asked uncomfortable questions that will
make me search deep within myself.

Paul
2 MONTHS AGO
 Hi Passion, Reply

Look for a clinician whose orientation is psychodynamic. I

think an approach that is ‘object relations’ oriented would
be a good match for you.
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mT Reply
2 MONTHS AGO

I’ve currently had about 10 sessions of individual therapy and also

attend group therapy sessions. My therapist is an introvert and
offers no advice or emotional validation whatsoever. Instead I
“free associate” and talk about whatever comes out of my mouth,
focusing on the emotional reactions that arise which quite often
catch me off guard with their timing and intensity. Also, because I
know almost nothing about my therapist’s personal life, he
becomes a blank slate upon which I project my own feelings and
patterns of behaviour. This has led to some awkward moments…

This is currently working for me because my issues are existential

(identity, what it means to be authentic) rather than situational
(break up, relationship problems) and hence I need the space to
be able to freely explore and define my issues. Someone else
with a different set of issues might work better with a more
confrontational therapist: http://www.youtube.com/watch?
v=Kae5RK3JQCs

tesseract Reply
2 MONTHS AGO

Hey Mark.

Just wanted to say that because of your book and

recommendations I started going to therapy and it’s really been
helping after months of constant theory, reading, and
approaching. Just today I reached a huge break through
concerning vulnerability, in not wanting to open myself up to
women, or hear about their stories/delve into them. I knew this
was hurting my dating life, and I wanted to go where I was
uncomfortable. Did so to a great deal in therapy, exploring my
past issues, then did so on a date a few hours later. The girl
reciprocated heavily, more so than I thought she would.
Vulnerability
Articles is powerful!
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I’m using free therapy services at my University now… I feel more

comfortable talking to a guy and the therapist I see is a guy who’s
not too much older than me, and specializes in relationships.

I whole heatedly recommend therapy to anyone, especially in the

PUA community. It’s opening doors that months of reading PUA
theory could ever do for me. It’s scary, but also exciting at the
same time in being able to re-connect with women again, and
discovering my inner workings that may or may not be slightly out-
of-date to what I should be aligned with now.

Jack Reply
2 MONTHS AGO

Its sounds like you have been using the famously crap “non-
directive” therapists who answer every question with a question
and are basically no use to anyone.

Therapies like Rational and Emotional Behavioural Therapy or

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy as Mark recommended are
(almost) universally regarded as more useful.

Paul Reply
2 MONTHS AGO

It depends on the issue, Jack. Overall, the best approach

is to be flexible based on the client’s here-and-now
needs. Non-directive therapies can be useful, but like all
other therapies, it depends more on the therapist you’re
seeing than the actual approach.
Jean Reply
2 MONTHS AGO

Articles
I always consideredBooks Courses
therapy myself, Forum that my
but i’m scared Contact
problems will be interpreted the wrong way by the therapist. Like
telling her i read about picking up women and actually spend a
considerable amount of effort approaching them and other things
she might perceive as “weird”. Then she/he might diagnose me in
the wrong way.

tesseract Reply
2 MONTHS AGO

Whatever you do is essential to therapy because if you

leave out part of your life, how can they truly, as you say,
“diagnose” you correctly?

I told my therapist the first session about my involvement

with the seduction community, and it’s led to a lot of
realizations about why I joined, the good and bad about it,
trying to have “the perfect approach” every time, worrying
so much about what people think of me, trying to pick up
every girl, and on and on.

I’m far from perfect from this (my therapist harps on this
every session) but inside therapy is supposed to be a
safe place where you speak freely and don’t worry about
being judged. I would say it’s the place where I’m really
working on being vulnerable, so that I can be that way in
my life.

Jean Reply
2 MONTHS AGO
 Yes, but i’m not sure how hard this seduction
community thing would hit on some people head.
It would be very easy to diagnose me with
narcisistic perssonality disorder just because i
Articles dress outside social
Books norm and
Courses because i’m
Forum into
Contact
the community, trying to pick up women like some
sort of trying to compensate low-self esteem. I
mean, i honestly don’t think i have that disorder (i
hope)… and she can be some feminist and try to
persuade me out of this lifestyle, wich is
something i’m not willing to do. Or some male
psychotherapist who doesn’t like the fact that i
actually get more women then him.

I know these are stupid doubts about

psychotherapy, but i honestly don’t want to be
misunderstood. It would be awesome to go to
pyschotherapy to cope with break ups and other
negative beliefs and emotions i still have and
doubts for the future and all, so i guess i’ll try to
sign up for CBT on my campus.

thanks for telling me about your experience

because it made me feel a little more safe with the
idea that i can actually talk about this part of my
life with a therapist.

tesseract Reply
2 MONTHS AGO

Hey glad it helped you. It’s true and I think

it’s like many people above are saying,
progress and usefulness of therapy is
HEAVILY dependent on what therapist you
get. I was originally hesitant because mine
is someone who’s just finishing their Ph.D.
and is doing an internship at the University.
I thought “I’m not going to get as good of
advice as from someone who has been
doing this for a long time”, and I raised this
 concern with him. He said no worries he
does get that, and I can change if
something isn’t working out. That thinking is
BS. It’s all dependent on the person… I’m
Articles sure people
Books doing this Forum
Courses three times Contact
as long
as him wouldn’t be as good because a) I
feel comfortable talking to him, b) I am
challenged, c) he pushes me to think, he
doesn’t just supplicate.

Don’t be afraid to change therapists if you

don’t think you’re getting what you should
be out of it. And as for telling them that
you’re in the seduction community, I
decided to tell him that the first session just
because it’s such an integral part of my life
(trying to make it less so now) that I knew
there’d be a lot he could garner from my
involvement in it. Whether you’re
comfortable talking about it with the
therapist I guess depends on how willing
you are to be honest with them and
yourself, and as well as how much you trust
them.

Also you might want to consider trying to

get a male therapist… Especially for things
involving the seduction community and
sexuality I find the idea of talking to a guy
way more comfortable (as recommended in
No More Mr. Nice Guy/Glover) in discussing
insecurities dealing with them. But that’s
your call.

Good luck!!

Jack Reply
2 MONTHS AGO

Jean,
 I doubt a therapist would diagnose you with
NPD because you dress abnormally and
are into pickup. The fact you can publically
consider if you have it or not pretty much
Articles eliminates
Books the possibility
Courses that you do.
Forum Contact

Also, I think you need to be a bit more

ballsy. I mean so, lets say your therapist
thinks your a crazy loony. Who gives a fuck
what they think?

Just a guy. Reply

2 MONTHS AGO

This is a good post, i’m considering seeing a therapist myself to

see if it could benefit me. I’ve read a lot of your articles on here
and there is some great insight. I also bought your book, and I
was considering trying your approach program however I am
getting a new apartment for college and new books so at the
moment I am limited in funds. I have been approaching women
myself more and more, so far i’ve been turned down but it’s
getting better. Maybe therapy will help me see some emotional
issues that I am not aware of. I know it’s not my weight (i’m in
great shape) and I have decent clothes. (I’m not looking to be a
pua, i just want to get some women in my life.)

MahdiKaiser Reply
1 MONTH AGO

Oh wow, I seem to exhibit all of the signs of a person who needs

therapy lol. Not that I’m surprised…

Hector Caraballo
21 WEEKS AGO
I have been going to therapy. I had a bad break-up Reply
and just couldn’t deal with it on my own anymore. I
was depressed and lonley and didn’t know where to begin to put
my life back together. It is very hard work, therapy, because you
have Articles
to face yourself openly and
Books honestly. I didn’t
Courses ForumrealizeContact
I lied to
myself so much and really it was only hurting me. Whenever
anything went wrong, I would always turn into my worst critic. I
was so closed off and secretive I couldn’t open up to any woman
and an emotional wall. I had isolated myself from everyone I
cared about because I didn’t like who I was. I was afraid and
scared and didn’t know where things were going in my life. I am
still in therapy and can say on many days I still have doubts, but
sometimes, just sometimes….I have hope. The power to change
things has always been mine and mine alone. (Thanks for your
book Mark.)

Lucas Reply
14 WEEKS AGO

Last year I went to therapy for about 8 sessions, once a week. In

the first visit, my therapist asked me about my family, what I would
like to do at university, etc, and in the end she asked me why I
was there. I told her a little bit about my social anxiety disorder
and then the time was over. I thought it was okay for a first
meeting. But in the next sessions she started talking about
random stuff and then my problem was no longer the focus of
therapy. Every week I used to go to her office thinking that it
would be different, but then I realized I was just wasting my
money and I quit.
Now I’m thinking of starting again with a new therapist.

Mark Manson Reply

14 WEEKS AGO

Yes. That’s a shitty therapist.

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